#i am Rambling i should probably stop
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wip of guy from get out im working on in my art class (i have never seen get out)
reference
it looks really desaturated in the picture but the colors irl are better lmao
#traditional art#oil pastel#im rlly upset because i was really proud of the cool undertones on the right side of his face and then i added the Background!#and now it looks WARM and all my work is WASTED.#and idk how to fix it without spending like an hour either fixing the background or the face shading#and my art teacher just wants me to move on atp#im literally so upset about this i wish i took a picture without the bg it looked so much better#im just realizing now his eyes are too big i hate this#this is why you dont look at ur art for more than 5 minutes after youve stopped working on it#also. ive been working on this for 4 art classes and im like 2/3 done. it has been 7 and a half hours.#a half because i was 30 minutes late one time bc the trains were fucked up LMFAO#i am Rambling i should probably stop#my hands r covered in oil pastel and i have to go to an art fair bc my mom is there sobs
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Making decisions after 2 am is a great idea *posts all of my oc art with no context*
#SOUP#I’m just cycling through vague designs at this point#I should probably just write the book instead of drawing vaguely angsty art abt it#Arrgdgahhehhejrjdjjsjdjjdjd#My art#evie’s ocs#evie’s caea#Evie’s aria#I think I’m losing it folks#There is even a little modern AU stuff in here#she works at a metro park and he got lost in the woods#Possibly bc he was trying to travel aimlessly across the country on a journey of self discovery or smth#Honestly I should just write the modern story instead of the fantasy one#Like as a warm up or smth#Yeah I should stop rambling#This gets the ramble tag now#Evie rambles#Some people lose coherency late at night I lose a filter#Ok byeeeee#to anyone who reads these tags I am so sorry
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“omg I have stuff to do today I need to get up why am I so tired”
the leif i absentmindedly doodled past 11pm because I suddenly found the airbrush tool to be Very fun:
#not really tagging this as anything cause this isn’t art I put any effort into#I am just pissed off at myself lmao#spoilers in the upcoming tags#the majority of this post’s content is gonna be in the tags lmao#I watched a vid yesterday abt cordyceps. what a terrifying thing#iirc ants will actually carry away infected ants to protect the rest of them. isn’t that insane#ants are social bugs and I don’t think moths are (look I love bug fables but idk shit about bugs)#but it got me thinkin#ya think that if anyone else found out abt the whole leif cordyceps thing they might try to quarantine him or smthn?#his cordyceps couldn’t infect anyone else but moths so it’s not like the greater public is in danger#but idk if it would be seen as acceptable for him to hang out around muze and tod when he has a parasitic fungus that could kill them#eh who knows!! i am just spitballing.#my brain was just tossing around fic ideas. fics I will never write#like what if zasp knew. like when he was trying to save him from the scorpion attack he realized#‘oh shit there is a fungus in this guy’#like that wound was pretty deep right. he’d probably definitely see some cordyceps hanging out in there#even if he didn’t know exactly what it was#anyway idk what I’m talking about. I’m gonna shadow at the vet clinic in like. four hours#so I should probably get out of bed and stop thinking about parasitic fungi#but rambling abt bug fables while I sit in bed listening to pop music is so fun……
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just a head's up: while I hesitate to call hiatus of any kind bc I want to give myself the freedom to write when I have the energy/focus/etc., I will just note that I'm gonna be even slower than usual around here for... idk, probably for a bit. I'm in the worst state mentally that I think I've ever actually been in and it's uhhhh. it's not great lmao. writing is my main escape & distraction so I don't want to step away from it but doing anything is hard as fuck rn so I'm really not interested in pressuring myself to get shit done when it comes to the hobby I'm supposed to be having fun with. I'll be slow, I'll be selective, and it's possible I'll be dropping a lot of drafts?? maybe?? OR at least like. temporarily removing a bunch from my drafts (to be added back later) just so the number is less big & overwhelming lmao.
thank u guys for ur patience w me & for writing w my glittery lil creature, I appreciate u all sm 💜
#so sick of this dude I want to feel my normal kind of bad. this new kind of bad is so hard to calm down & relax & not think with adjgksh#I am constantly antsy & feeling this awful existential dread & I haven't been able to be alone without spiralling#it's terrible. that brief period of feeling lighter yesterday did not last as long as I would have liked lmaodhfjsh#anyway. just wanted to make a note. I'll probably add smth about it to my pinned whenever I can crawl onto my laptop too tbh#but yeah. think it's gonna be rough for quite a while so idk idk I just want to feel a little more free#to do whatever I'm feeling the most around here (which should always be the case I know but I pressure myself ok I can't help it)#I need to stop typing bc I'll just keep rambling... brain won't shut up adjgksh#love u guys ok ty 💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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@capn-twitchery sorry for tag lol
an extremely quick doodle but I can't stop thinking abt them. I think Ms. Cyndi Lauper would let them have fu-un despite not being girls
#not even bothering to tag this for OC stuff#I do think it's funny that they can like. tick several boxes for similarities#long hair/really lanky/tall boots/tall in general#but that's like. where the similarities stop lmfao#I think personality and goal and risk taking wise they couldn't be more different#I should draw Elliott in his bigass greatcoat more often. they could outfit swap and probably both actually wear eachother's shit#Twitch my friend Twitch#also thinking abt it again and like.#sorry to Twitch and also Grace but I am 100% certain he'd see a weird polite haunted man w debilitating guilt and no outward emotions#and be like ''I could fix him. crush: initiated''#also also sorry for tag ramble. it's way past my bedtime (8:40 pm) and I'm so eepy
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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#waiting to start not one but TWO immunosupressants and knowing exactly what date it's going to happen is so weird#because there's a deadline on your immune system now#and i spend most of the time not really thinking about it and then out of nowhere I'll be like#oh yeah#in just under two weeks I won't have my good immune system anymore#i wont be able to rely on it as i always have because it won't be there#and i know Exactly when it's going to happen#it's. in all honestly it feels bizarrely like being at the vets when sobi was put to sleep#it was the right thing to do it was the right time to so it and i knew it was coming#we need to do this so my immune system doesn't keep eating my intestines in its fervour#it's the right thing to do it's the right time to do it it's needed and necessary but I'm grieving all the same#yes okay maybe it's stupid to equate starting immunosuppressants with my pet dying#maybe im being overdramatic about all this#ive had people tell me it probably wont be that bad it'll probably just give me a normal system j shoudl stop stressing about all this#i should stop feeling so sad about all this#and that doesn't help one fucking bit#i do feel sad about this. i feel very sad about this. i am experiencing grief about this#dont tell me to make my emotions smaller#the nurse said i would could as high risk. that i will need to avoid people who even just have colds#this is not a small change. this is me losing something i have relied on for my entire life#something i have taken a stupid pride in for my entire life#and it feels just like being at the vets. gently stroking sobi's head as he died#putting him to sleep. putting my immune system to sleep. telling it did well#it'll come back one day i know (i hope) but for now it has a deadline#crunchy rambles
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A little bit of a San hard thought…maybe, sort of, kind of (MDNI)
Okay so for some reason Coachella San still has me in a chokehold, almost two months later and I just had to get this off my chest, because this has been on my mind for a while and it’s driving me crazy. Also this will probably be the only time I post something like this, unless I feel very strongly about it.
Looking at these photos that he posted on Instagram, just fills my mind up with thoughts of littering his chest and abs with hickeys.
Like just imagine, you on top of San, straddling him as you sucked at the skin of his chest, all the while San below you -I’d like to imagine that he’s very vocal with this type of intimacy, because we love men who are vocal- is letting out low groans and maybe along with the occasional whine of your name. Maybe he would even buck his hips, especially as you traveled down his toned stomach and got closer to the band of his underwear, because the smallest things you do can get him so worked up.
#kpop#ateez#choi san#hard thoughts#I just like to say that I have never ever had like an actual hard thought before believe it or not#san is just a special case#you’re either the biggest soft stan or the biggest hard stand there is no in between when it comes to this man#also this may be start of san brainrot#I might delete this when I when wake up#I should probably go to bed it’s currently 3:44 am#what I am still doing up???#also i start my period like some time this week so that’s probably why I felt the very strong urge to write this#also I’m sorry if this is a bit cringy I don’t usually write things like this#so sorry about that#anyway im gonna stop rambling now and go to sleep#san hard thoughts#choi san hard thoughts
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#i am Dying#so for reasons im not gonna get into i stopped taking my meds a couple months ago#and luckily my mood and depression/anxiety hasnt been an issue at all!!#in fact im usually very happy and content#but one thing has come back and its come with a fucking vengeance#like i thought it was annoying in high school#but now its downright hindering#like im making up for the past 9 years or whatever#and i didnt realize until this week that its probably bc im off my meds#and unfortunately its making my insomnia bad again which means im starting to have another issue that i had in hs#its only happened once but if it continues then things will get bad lol#im trying to be vague on purpose bc this is soooo embarrassing#i cant talk to my friends abt it bc we dont talk abt that stuff (or at least they dont w me so i dont feel comfortable bringing it up)#and i would talk to my sister but i dont want her to know im off my meds#so like. dying#i have a plethora of my insomnia/anxiety/depression meds dont get me wrong#but in order to take them again i need to update my insurance w the doctor#then go to the doctor#then get a referral to a specialist#who can hopefully help me#and then i can take my meds again#i knowww i should bc my slope be slippin#but like im in a good mood and am content with everything in my life but my work and my issue that i need a specialist for#so im not very motivated to do things i dont wanna do#idkkkk#sorry im rambling lmao#vani.key
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Hi :)))
Sky is pretty :)
sky is very pretty
#Wish the sky looked like that where I am.#I probably should stop drawing medic to represent myself/react#I just kinda do it because my profile is a tiny medic so I thought it’d be silly#Yea but it’s pretty dangerous to go outside at night in my neighborhood so I appreciate these#rambles#moots#gravitytrips#my art <3#medic tf2#Also still haven’t figured a persona / still not really happy with how I draw myself
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guys i am licking all of you. affectionately in a social bonding way
#txt#alcohol cw#nevaur been drunk at a bar before & im cutting myself off for now otherwise idk if i'd be able to get home tonight#even thaur the bus stop is right down the street & ive already baught[sic] my bus pass#thinking back to when my angel friend in montreal whos even more of a lightweight than me on the subway back home grabbed the bars & leaned#back to face the led subway lights eyes closed. like an angel fr. each of us had one single drink she just drinks so fuckin fast#she does a lot of introspection so im assuming its on purpose shes just crazy like all of us on this bitch of an earth#she is so beautiful though so angelic & perfect i do swear it#sorry yall on tumblr dot gov are getting this ramble i just got a new mutual on vent & i gotta impress them😩#aurnly at 25% battery saur i should probably stfu okay goodnight my angels i am blowing a kiss to all of you and you will see my bitchass la#ter bc this app is an addiction for me
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I need to draw my rook bc I actually do have some ideas for them I just. Have NOT been in a creating mood idk I'm so tired... Aoughgggh
#crow rambles#i want to write and i want to draw and i want to do a million things and i am doing NONE of them...#insane... crazy even...#like. i have several fic ideas i wanna write (nothing new there) but i am not writing them#i. well i dont have any art ideas now but i WANNA draw but ohh. hard :(#i think i may be having a little creative burnout... give me like four days ill be back on my game#i can never stay away from art for too long. i get itchy if i dont draw for a few days#longest ive went without drawing in the past like. decade. has been a week and that was when i got covid#my ass can NOT put the pencil down#i do want to get some of my rook ideas into fic bc i think it may help me flesh them out a little bit#while i do have a lot of criticisms of dav i kinda wanna stop focusing on them so much#bc i KNOW ive been posting about them alot on here#and while i don't think the game SHOULDNT be criticized (it definitely should) i dont want to be solely negative on it#bc i actually did have fun playing it#and i want to reflect it in my posts lmao#however. i love bitching. i am so good at bitching#its a competitive sport and im winning. top tier bitcher thats me#idk i should probably replay the game bc its always easier to make a protagonist for a dragon age game once you know the plot#but also i want to finish my dao replay... and replay da2... and finish my dai replay i never finished lmao#im at the landsmeet in dao so it shouldnt be much longer. i plan on skipping the golems dlc this go round bc i dont really like it and it#doesnt add very much to the plot imo. everytime i play it i get pissy over the harvester. fucking AWFUL boss#tried killing it on hard mode. once. i am never doing that shit again i HATEEEE that stupid thing#<- by landsmeet i meant i am doing the denerim quests right before the landsmeet. im just before the whole 'anora got locked up' thing#am NOT looking forward to the alienage... idk i really want go get to witch hunt 😭😭
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New favorite movie unlocked
#this doesn't happen very often. not since a few year ago. when movies became nothing more than live action remakes or money grab schemes#not just favorite movie. comfort movie too. it's just so beautiful#i adore all the characters too! not a single one that i don't like#the wild robot#i should probably stop rambling now..#but i just cannot. i am in love with this movie
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playing Bull's loyalty quest for the 5 hundredth time, and it sort of just struck me that the whole thing is actually hella suspicious.
The Qunari want an alliance, but the one (known) agent they have in the Inquisition, his personal band of Mercs, and the Inquisitor are the SPECIFIC people they want on this dreadnought run? The exact sort of mission that is messy and dangerous, where it is very likely things will go wrong and people will be lost?
AND the agent they pick as a liaison is someone who knows Bull VERY well. Someone Bull saved, and therefore someone he has a soft spot for. Someone he's more willing to trust.
Gatt said that this maneuver would only work with a small group because otherwise the smugglers would see them coming, but they still could have had more people. The coast was heavily wooded and full of caves, there were places to hide small bands of agents. And there is no reason the Qunari would be limited to only sending one man of their own to cover the ground team.
Gatt also knew which job Bull would choose for his men. He knew where the Venatori camps were. So, he probably also knew that the lower camp Bull sent the Chargers to had more enemies than they could handle on their own.
The Benhassrath set Bull up to fail.
They were probably nominally interested in an alliance, but I think this was more about getting Bull back and testing his loyalty than actually extending a hand. If the Qunari REALLY wanted an alliance, they would have gone farther to make sure there was no way this mission would fall apart, and in their pragmatism, they would not throw the whole alliance out over the loss of a single ship, either.
They were never really going to make friends with the Inquisition. The whole things was a trap.
#the iron bull#dragon age inquisition#fandom meta#rambles#i am more angry about this than i probably should be#but it makes so much sense#and it is SO SHITTY#GUYS I AM TRYING TO STOP THE WORLD FROM BLOWING UP#PLEASE STOP TRYING TO SET UP ME AND MY PALS TO GET MAGICALLY EXPLODED
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Can I still get into Heaven if i kill myself?
#me when i hear one (1) line in a song and drop everything to draw an anime boy because of it. also hes a furry for my sanity#hello people encountering me in the maintags. i dont like drawing humans so i draw my beloved anime boys as furries. sorry#i do also have a fix-it au these furry designs are canon to but that is not relevant here <3 just feel like i should mention that while im#in the maintags for once lol. juust in case this is reaching the people who would be interested in my furry fix-it au. which i barely post#about. but like. if people here want to know i will start posting furry au lore#jjk furries#<- the tag for the curious#zoracontent#zora arts#megumi fushiguro#jjk#if you read all the tags pleeeaaaaasse reblog i am very proud of this and would like people to look at it#but i understand anime boy furry art is not everyones gig so. i anticipate this flopping#hm i should probably stop posting art at 2am because i ramble so much in the tags at 2am. crazy. anyway this is scheduled for 10 so yall se
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Ok. Y'know I don't talk abt current events and stuff all that often. The internet has always been a sort of escape from irl stuff for me, plus i'm not an activist or anything. I'm just Some Guy. But with what's happening rn with Israel and Palestine and how staff keeps doing shady shit both in regards to what's happening rn and with other stuff they've done before, it just makes me feel uncomfy even being an active user here
I've never given them my money or anything, but just being here is starting to make me uncomfortable. They haven't said anything abt these things outright as far as I know, but knowing how things are going on other socials (like deviantart, which I stopped using bc of the blatant pro-israel shit staff there posted recently among other issues, or youtube being. Y'know. Youtube) I have no doubt they're very much pro-israel as well. Stopping Palestine related tags from trending and nuking pro-palestine blogs might as well be a statement on what their stance is even if they try to hide behind technical issues
I just don't want to feel like I'm inadvertently supporting genocide just by being here and using the site. Maybe that's a bit of a reach bc I don't support them financially but idk. It's not like I'd really have anywhere else to go anyways since pretty much every major social has gone this route. My mutuals are all here too and I don't wanna leave y'all. This is like 99% of my social network
Idk if I'm just overthinking. It's late, I'm tired and I'm rambling and I should be sleeping bc I have shit to do tomorrow but I can't stop worrying abt it. Idk
#ramblings#neg#i'm generally just thinking abt leaving social media all together bc i genuinely don't wanna support this shit in any way#i already did it with da#but idk if that's the right thing to do. and it's not like one guy leaving the internet is going to do much#plus i don't wanna leave my mutuals behind. i don't wanna stop sharing my art. but i still feel bad#i'm probably just overthinking but it's not letting me sleep#man i sure wish i wasn't living in historical times right now!#ugh#idk if i should trust how i feel abt this at almost 12 am. i need sleep#and i'm also stressed abt my personal life#so. yeah#delete later probably idk anymore
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