#i am LOVING this kind of analysis

[saturnniidae]

HTTYD 2 is ten years old today, it was my first exposure to the franchise and despite its many glaring flaws i can't help but love it and hold it so close to my heart.

This scene is a great example of why.

I love it so much. It's a heart-wrenchingly beautiful reminder that as good as he is, Hiccup is not some perfect hero. He is still just a person, a flawed human being who has cracked under the pressure of his circumstances and is barely given time to grieve his fathers' death.

(I adore scenes like this — It humanizes characters so much more, and just adds to that layer of perceived realism.)

And you can see the regret on his face as soon as he says it. But in that moment he doesn't do anything about it; he's still processing Stoick's death, and he only snaps out of it when he sees Toothless is under the Bewilderbeast's control again and Valka has to hold him back from attempting to go after him.

What he said and did to Toothless there was a momentary lapse in judgment fueled by grief. And later, as he breaks Toothless out of the Alpha's control, you can see he feels terrible about it. About how, even if it was brief, he pushed away his best friend. And he loves Toothless so much.

The way he talks to him literally breaks me every time I rewatch it.

"It wasn't your fault, you'd never hurt him, you'd never hurt me."

"Please, you... are my best friend, bud. My best friend."

And when Toothless comes back he just looks so elated to see Hiccup.

Though, Something that's even crazier to me is the fact all this takes place over less than a week. Once he gets toothless back and Drago is defeated, he is immediately made chief. And with the state berk is in, he is given presumably no time to properly mourn Stoick, or to fully adjust to the presence of his mother.

(though I feel his and Valka's relationship will never be what it could've been. He knows she chose not to come back, and that is a blow to their newly formed and fragile bond that, as much as they love each other, is not something she can ever fully make up for.)

But at least through everything, since the beginning, the one real constant he's had has been Toothless.

They're friendship was built off a mutual feeling of out-of-placeness, then unconditional trust and unwavering loyalty.

they love each other so much it makes me wanna throw up

[abnomi]

EVERY REASON (that i can think of) AS TO WHY TURBO/KING CANDY IS NEURODIVERGENT 💥💥

i would like to make a disclaimer first and foremost about the obvious, being that Turbo/King Candy is heavily implied to have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Very often, characters with these disorders are portrayed as villains, and Turbo is no exception to this. There's nothing wrong with antagonistic characters having said disorders, per se, but when the only representation available for people with these conditions are found in characters you're not supposed to root for, it can be really disheartening. i won't be erasing these parts of him because i feel it would be in poor taste to gloss over those core elements of who he is, but plz keep in mind that having any kind of personality disorder doesn't make anyone inherently evil!!!🌞 your ACTIONS make you, not your brain

Also if anyone has any suggestions or other ideas for his neurodiversity, i would love to hear them! please do share!! I LOVE PSYCHOANALYZING CHARACTERS AND HEARING OTHER PEOPLE PSYCHOANALYZE THEM !!!! YAY🎉 if u agree or disagree with any of my points I'd love to discuss them further :-]

without further ado... click read more to find out…😈 be ready for a lot of reaches

💥 ADHD 💥

STIMMING

Turbo's constantly moving around in some way; he's a very expressive character! even as King Candy, he can't seem to conceal his frequent giggling. it's a big habit of his; he seems to do it involuntarily to regulate himself, including when he's nervous or uncomfortable.

he seems to display other repetitive behaviors as well, like doing his iconic thumbs-up pose, sticking out his tongue, or hopping around gleefully. he is but a jovial court jester..

i personally like to think that his phrases, "Turbo-tastic!" and "Have some candy!" are vocal stims of his, although i equally really love the interpretation that these (and the aforementioned stims) are tics :-]

another headcanon; i think it would make a lot of sense for him to have an oral fixation of some sort (ignoring the whole sigmund freud part of the term ermm...); just lots of biting, chewing, needing to have something in his mouth. It would align with the whole idea that he smokes, too

HYPERACTIVITY

we can clearly see throughout the film that Turbo has a lot of energy, made abundantly clear by his mannerisms and general behavior. he's constantly moving, using exaggerated expressions and gestures to communicate + express himself. He's one of the most animated and bouncy characters in the movie, next to Vanellope! it's silly how a character not very grounded in reality is such a threat, but i suppose that's what makes him so threatening in the first place...

another factor in this is how he is very adrenaline-seeking, craving activities that give him a rush (sugar rush...😂😂). more on that in a bit!!

HYPERFIXATION

Turbo's fixation with winning is all-consuming for him; it's an obsession. he doesn't appear to care about much else, if anything besides it. this could be interpreted as a hyperfixation for him (or special interest if ur all about that autism lifestyle), as it overtakes all of his focus and impedes every process of his mind.

it's clear that racing is much more than a passion for him, and while that fact is due to how he was programmed, it's a major character trait of his regardless that could be correlated to neurodivergence.

HYPERFOCUS

There seems to be a big theme of "all or nothing" when it comes to Turbo. he will either be fully dedicated to something or brush it aside without a second thought. it can't be denied that he fully wraps himself up in what he wants, whether it's a conflict he can't let go of or a new pursuit he's hungrily chasing after. 

ultimately, his dedication varies depending on if it is relevant to him and his interests or not, but this aspect of him still shares patterns with neurodivergent thought processes.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

Seeing as he has a tendency to cheat in his use of code to spawn in whatever his heart desires, it can be assumed that this could do with Turbo wanting instant gratification to fill that bitter, empty void inside of him. while this could simply be brushed aside as greed and his belief that he is obligated to have access to whatever he wants, this trait is consistent with his generally dopamine-seeking behavior and wanting to be instantly rewarded by his actions. His obsession with needing to feel good directly relates to his need for another buzz, constantly after the next rush. (a sugar rush if you will☺☺☺)

ADRENALINE-SEEKING

Closely related to the previous speculation, Turbo always seems to be chasing his next high. he loves the thrill of action and being surrounded by crowds of people below him. it's why his big thing is racing! people cheer him on, he can do whatever he wants, he can go really fast and look cool..

it's possible that a big aspect of why he does this is to distract himself from any kind of pain, because pain = vulnerability. bro does NOT know how to independently cope with his own problems.. HE MAD AS HELLLLL!!! 😂😂

STRUGGLE WITH SELF CARE

(i know this is reaching but bear with me... 🐻) going off of his appearance and tendency to make poor decisions, it can be gathered that this man lacks skill in the self care department. his yellowing teeth and sunken eyes not only serve to complement his design, but also give way to the idea that he neglects himself in favor for whatever weird scheme he's up to.

of course, Turbo does prioritize himself above everyone else, but he doesn't strike me as the type to care much about how others think he smells. him being a bother to anyone isn't a concern of his. he cares about whatever gets him the most praise and attention from as many people as possible, which is winning and racing. Who cares about how clean he is when he's up on a podium holding a shiny, golden trophy, anyway?

It's likely that he had to step his game up when he went under disguise as king candy, which is why he looks well-groomed in comparison to his more corpse-like appearance. Ugly hoe. it can also be assumed that he's had more time to focus on himself because everyone loves him without question... Well, except for Vanellope, but who cares about her, right?

also, i know he makes a condescending comment to Ralph about how bad his breath smells, but it's made abundantly clear that Turbo is a massive hypocrite. his comment doesn't erase the possibility that he has suffered from such "halitosis" as well.

💥 ANXIETY 💥

GENERAL ANXIOUS BEHAVIOR

i know, i know, this could technically be chalked up to be "Turbo is nervously giggling and shit because he's scared of getting caught," but guys. g

even in the flashback scene, we can see how easily stressed he can become in an alarmingly short period of time. he is extremely insecure, therefore i am led to believe he is not only emotionally dysregulated, but also by extension, anxiety ridden.

yes, this is purely speculative, but who's to say that he wasn't like this before? being high-strung and intense are significant facets of his personality consistently portrayed throughout the film. as long as he is getting exactly what he wants, he is happy; the moment he loses even a blip of control, however, he immediately grows extremely tense.

if Turbo wasn't anxious about his disguise as King Candy before, he was anxious about how much attention he was receiving on a given day. if not that, then he'd be anxious over how he presents himself. He hates how he can't control how other people perceive him, which is why he is constantly trying to act like he's better than he is.

its why he justifies his behavior to himself, proudly making others refer to him as the "rightful ruler" of sugar rush and relishing in the attention of his countless underlings. Any secure and stable person would NOT ACT LIKE THIS!!!!😭😭😭

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

As we can see a handful of times on screen, Turbo's instinct to protect himself is very easily activated.

 his fear manifests in anger and aggression. we can see at multiple points how easy it is to upset him or fluster him; his anger is one side of the same coin, the opposite end being his fear and paranoia.

Going off of this point, have you noticed that Turbo is either satisfied or furious without much of an in-between? how the second something isn't under his manipulation, he lashes out and fights back? I'm led to believe that this is how he responds to fear (AAUAAYAUUUUGGHHH 🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡). This guy is so against the idea of being vulnerable, that even when afraid, he will utilize violence to regain his dominance over the situation at hand.

CONTROL + PARANOIA

Turbo's always trying to writhe or fight his way out of uncomfortable situations, unable to exist outside of his comfort zone for seconds at a time.

his defensive, paranoid, and controlling behavior are all reflections of how deeply insecure this man is. He feels such an intense need for everything to go exactly how he expects it to go that the moment he senses any kind of threat, he instantly jumps to defend himself and what he feels that he has "earned," regardless of whether there truly is a threat or not.

this could potentially be a coping mechanism for his anxiety and sense of stability; can't forget to mention how territorial he is!! he jumps to conclusions about what others' intentions are before they even get a chance to reply, as seen with his first encounter with Ralph in the movie. 

the racer is so internally discombobulated that he seeks any sense of stability on his environment, including on those around him. his sense of self is so warped that he copes with constant distraction; being under the spotlight, being actively racing, having to be showered with attention, having others make him feel good because he doesn't know how to do it for himself. he needs to feel like everything is under control, lest everything falls apart.

"...if there's ONE thing I can't abide, it's ANYTHING out of order!"

💥 NPD 💥

INFLATED SENSE OF SELF IMPORTANCE

Turbo's most in-your-face trait above all else. It's made more than crystal clear in every scene he's in that his arrogance is a determining factor in how he interacts with others. This is exactly what drives him to desperately crave admiration, to chase after others he's envious of because he thinks he is obligated to take what they have.

he seems to genuinely think he is entitled to get whatever he wants, just because he is inherently "special" or "better" than everyone else. Why else would he have made himself a king, a step above princess?

EXCESSIVE NEED FOR ADMIRATION

Turbo's self worth is COMPLETELY dependent on the opinions of children and teenagers. I think i don't need to say any more than that, but i will. (Evil).

As cartoonishly massive as his ego is, i think that it's fair to assume that Turbo has a very unstable sense of self, distorting his perception of his own worth down with it. his near-constant flaunting and need to be the best is a dead giveaway to his deeply-ridden self-doubt. The foundation of his stability is built around how "good" he is (at racing and winning), how powerful he is, whether or not he is being prioritized above everyone else, whether or not he is the absolute best, etc. etc.

The racer outright manipulates others to shower him with admiration and undeserved appreciation. He is incapable of forming a true sense of internal value, instead heavily and codependently relying on others to form it for him. if he isn't the best, he may as well just be nothing.

INTENSE JEALOUSY

He reacts so severely to what he perceives as others taking away what is rightfully his that it only goes to solidify my previous points even further. the second someone else is getting more attention than him, Turbo will bend over backwards to rip back the praise he believes he so rightly deserves.

being extremely competitive, he will one-up against anyone he thinks of as a threat, dedicating himself to taking them down to the best of his ability, and making sure they STAY down to top it all off.

INABILITY TO HANDLE CRITICISM

if we really dissect the entire one-off joke with Turbo insisting that his stolen pink castle is actually "salmon," along with all of his other domineering behaviors, we can garner that he is very persistent in how he wants others to view him. i wholeheartedly believe that this would translate into him not only being defensive over his supposed "ownership" of Sugar Rush, but also over himself and his own insecurities.

He needs to feel good about himself or else he will die and quite literally try to kill everyone.

LACK OF EMPATHY

He appears to have a fondness for making jokes in very poor taste. Turbo has a big sense of humor, but it's always at the expense of others. Be it a pun about a "fungeon," or jumping to protect himself with a joke about "hitting a guy with glasses," he has a tendency to take serious situations very lightly. It's not that he's unaware of the weight of it; he simply doesn't take it Seriously.

its admittedly impressive how he was able to feign empathy so well for Ralph; it goes to show how he is very capable of understanding that what he's doing is wrong, but ultimately does nothing to change his behavior because it doesn't impact him personally. 

i would like to honor this part of him, because even in the possible alternate path of a redemption arc, his struggle with empathy can be explored in a variety of interesting ways :-] he can understand complicated emotions and situations on an analytical level, but he doesn't feel for them unless it has to do with him specifically. (this obviously doesn't make him inherently evil, his ACTIONS make him evil)

💥 ASPD 💥

LACK OF REMORSE/GUILT

One of Turbo's core characteristics is just how far he is willing to go for his own self-interest with lack of regard for how it impacts everyone else. he has absolutely no concern for how anyone else feels besides himself, willing to go so far as to attempt to mutilate a 9-year-old to achieve his petty goals.

Turbo is shameless when it comes to how he goes about getting his way. While I'd like to believe he isn't fully incapable of feeling regret, he doesn't showcase feeling it in the movie itself. The most regret he'll feel is when he slips up and exposes himself. anything else is the fault of everyone else; he is untouchable in his eyes.

DECEITFUL TENDENCIES + LYING

Where do i even start with this one.

well, first of all, let's acknowledge the... erm, horse? in the room? 🐎😅(Please someone help me there is a horse in my room help helphel) being that Turbo went under disguise as King Candy for at least a decade. Even before this, there's a good chance that he's already had plenty of experience with lies and manipulation. i'd be willing to bet on this!!

one of his specialties is being proficient in manipulation, be it the code of games or the minds of people. theyre basically the same thing to him, anyway... I'm sure you all know the scene where he uses 16 manipulation tactics against Ralph and wins. this was Obviously not the first time he'd done this.

REPETITION OF HARMFUL BEHAVIORS

Time and time again, Turbo can't seem to help himself when it comes to poor decision-making. he never internalizes that his bad choices aren't JUST bad for others, but also for himself, continuing to escalate further and further into very dangerous behaviors until he literally dies.

Here's a list of bad decisions he has made! (at least, that we know of)

Pinning himself above his peers

Harassment + stalking

Carelessly charging through GCS with his car, endangering countless civilians

Attempting to take over a game that isn't his x2

Vehicular manslaughter

Implied mass murder + attempted murder, attempted mutilation

Mass endangerment

Breaking and entering, theft, usurpation, plagiarism

and more!!!!!!!

AND HE LEARNS FROM ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS!!! with some of the items listed here, he's attempted to do multiple times! Absolute buffoon.

RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR SAFETY OF SELF AND OTHERS

Considering how he was willing to charge into a game that wasn't his own with the awareness that it could permanently kill him, going as far as to recklessly crash into another car (albeit it's possible this was unintentional), it's easy to gather that he doesn't seem to consider anyone's safety at all in the spur of the moment.

IMPULSITIVITY

his impulsivity and disregard for safety both go hand-in-hand. When it gets to a certain point, Turbo's emotions will boil over and blow up in a cold rage, thus causing him to spiral and act on impulse, becoming a detrimental force to himself as well as everyone around him.

What's interesting is how much restraint he is capable of; he typically is very strategic in how he orchestrates his plans! but once he reaches his breaking point, he snaps and leaves all of his hard work behind in favor of something that calls for his immediate attention.

💥 ETC. 💥

extra tidbits i didnt have enough energy to fully delve into :-]

BPD

Fear of abandonment

Blurry sense of identity

Feelings of emptiness

Self destructive tendencies

Emotional instability

Explosive anger

ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)

He seems so infatuated with his own autonomy that he gets to the point of being resistant and defiant

Resisting against the rules of the world that he directly caused as a result of his own actions, being that one shouldn't "go Turbo."

Enjoys upsetting/getting a rise out of others. this is more speculative as i am going off of the assumption that he thinks pissing people off is funny, based on his other behavioral patterns. (cruel sense of humor, wanting to feel above others via control & manipulation, enjoyment of inflicting pain onto others)

Forcefully defends himself and refuses any kind of criticism

Lashes out when he feels slighted

Excessive persistence despite all odds, whether it's beneficial to him or not

ok bye!! thank you if you managed to read this far ^^ peace and love take care of yourself! all in all turbo is so neurodivergent ok please Okay <3 get this thing his meds

[royalarchivist]

Jaiden: Cucurucho, you have a lot of power, right?

Cucurucho: ...I don't know. Maybe.

Roier: Ah... Yes, you know, don't act like a dumbass, you have it. You have it, man. Eh?

Jaiden: Is there a way for us to protect all the Eggs? Do you know? I don't want anything to happen to the Eggs that happened to Bobby.

Cucurucho: Ha ha ha

Roier: WHAT? [Smacks Cucurucho]

Jaiden: [Bops him] Headpats.

Cucurucho: Maybe.

Jaiden: [Continues to bop him] Headpats. C'mon, I can get it out of you! Headpats! Chin scratches! Belly rubs!

Roier: [Joins Jaiden in bopping Cucurucho, chuckling and laughs]

Jaiden: Yeah? He's comin' around!

[Jaiden and Roier both laugh]

[oddly-casual]

Homura Hc’s (or a mini appreciation post tbh)

Homura is one of those characters we see only a handful a times. I think we see her maybe three times in the show, and a couple times in the merch. Mostly Hesokuri wars.

But despite the fact that she has about two speaking roles in between three seasons and a movie, the writers try to keep her personality in tact and I like that they do that.

Most of this comes from Jyushimatsu Dolphin (season 3 Ep. 8). Where Homura sticks her neck out to help Jyushimatsu follow his dream of being a dolphin.

We don’t know exactly how cannon these skits are, but certain characters are chosen for a reason and I think we can take away a lot from some of Homura’s decisions and actions.

Like the fact that she even agrees to help Jyushimatsu at all despite not knowing him (in this skit at least). She tells us directly that it was because she was moved by his passion, but staking your job on something as flaky as passion would be- what some people call- a dumb risk.

Despite being the only one in his corner, Homura gives her all into training him. In her first appearance in season one, Todomatsu call her “Weird” And I think this skit goes into depth about how weird she actually is. Homura hardcore trains him in the ways of being a dolphin that she is familiar with, even if that means nearly drowning him.

This girl that we met in season one, who we knew as soft and sad, is in fact a weirdo.

Like just look at how everyone reacts to her! Go off queen!

I really like how this skit gets rid of any assumptions about Homura’s character. From her first appearance alone you would think maybe she’s weak willed or fragile- but she really puts her all into the things she cares about and doesn’t let anyone slow her down.

Homura doesn’t even call it out or try to explain herself, it’s just how she is and I love that for her.

We also see pretty consistently how she handles conflict, or failing.

In season 1 she calls off ever seeing Jyushimatsu again because she has to go home, and you can tell it hurts her to just outright reject him like the that.

The fact that we possibly know her background also adds context to her decision.

It’s possible she just wants to get away from that industry and the people, maybe too many people know her from the porn dvds and she just needed a fresh start somewhere else. Maybe she felt like she was lying to Jyushimatsu because she couldn’t tell him all she’d done- who knows?

There’s a lot of ways you can look at it but I think most of all, the skit in season 2 could reshape how we looked at her reaction to conflict in season 1.

When faced with failure, Homura gives up.

She gave it her all, and it still didn’t happen. Homura is grounded in reality to an extent. While the Matsuno’s live by their own rules and do whatever they want- it feels like Homura found a way to work within the rules. To try everything she can, but not to exhaust herself with something that’s not baring fruits.

She doesn’t seem disappointed that Jyushimatsu will keep trying, she’s angry. Homura yells at him and calls him a block head because he’s being stubborn- but why try so hard to get him to give up when it’s his dream? Why does she want him to quit? He will continue with it without her so why?

There’s a possibly that she doesn’t want to see him hurt. Like season 1, Homura distances herself from Jyushimatsu specifically after he confesses.

We can assume it’s because she would be in a whole other city, and with the past attached to her, she didn’t want to hold him back. Either that, or she didn’t want to face rejection if things didn’t end up working out.

But I also think it’s important to note that Homura was moments away from ending her own life. In the end, she chooses to take herself to a familiar place rather than to attempt again- showing signs of gaining some perspective or some motivation to keep going.

My main take away from Homura as a character, and outside of her potential relationship with Jyushimatsu, is that Homura is a character ground in reality who is a little silly.

Homura takes things seriously, no matter how goofy they are (like wanting to be a dolphin- like an actual dolphin), but she also likes to laugh and have fun like everyone else.

Homura knows not to spend time on something that possibly won’t work out, and this could be because she’s been beaten down before and knows the prolonged pain of hope. She also has a past we know nothing about that could’ve shaped the person she is today.

Homura is a silly weird girl, but unfortunately life got to her first. That doesn’t stop her from being weird and silly though.

[musicalmoritz]

I wanna preface this by saying I don’t hate Hanako OR Teru, but I find it interesting that fans single out Teru’s threat to kill Nene when Hanako was trying to do the same thing to Aoi

In fact, that’s literally the entire context of the scene and the reason Teru made that threat in the first place. Hanako was actively trying to kill Aoi so Nene could live longer, whereas Teru never made any actual attempts on Nene’s life. The whole “I’ll kill Yashiro” line was an empty threat made to force Hanako to realize the gravity of his actions. Teru wanted Hanako to put himself in his shoes, to show him that it doesn’t feel very nice when someone tries to kill the girl you love

I highly doubt Teru would’ve actually killed Nene, he clearly wasn’t thinking about it seriously since he intended to exorcize Hanako directly after that speech. Even when Hanako asked if he was serious, Teru’s response was “Maybe.” That doesn’t sound very committed to me. He was more-so trying to stress the lengths he would go to protect Aoi. The scene shows that him and Hanako are both hypocrites, but Teru seems to be a lot more self-aware than Hanako. They both follow the same logic of taking on the “dirty jobs” themselves so their loved ones don’t have to get blood on their hands. And they’re both willing to go to extremes to protect the girls they love (though, again, I’m unsure of whether or not Teru would actually kill a human for Aoi)

I find it funny that Teru and Hanako fans beef so often, and that fans of either character always seem to hate the other. They’re similar in so many ways. I do understand hating Hanako for the pervert gags but, then again, you could just as easily hate Teru for the sadist gags

Anyways a lot of the scenes people use as “Teru is irredeemably evil” proof are taken out of context or deeply misunderstood. I’m not sure how, seeing as this manga is fairly on the nose with the points it makes about each character. It might be that a lot of the fans are younger?? Idk, I just think we should stop pitting these goats against each other

[melit0n]

I wanted to add on to this ask done by an anon on ST confessions, because they are so right and they made something click in my brain. Do go read it before you read this.

First, off, heavy agree that Fall for Me is designed to be a lonely song, both lyrically, and quite smartly, musically. In every single other song Sleep Token has ever done there is music. There is noise, always. Even in times where there should be silence, there never is any. Instead, it's filled by sounds of birds, a taught guitar chord or chewing and biting.

Fall for Me, however, is utter silence. There's no musical reply. No SFX, no subtle drums or bass; no nothing. It's the one of the few songs (along with Missing Limbs, Take Aim and Drag me Under) in which Vessel directly addresses the love he holds for this person. It's not layered in metaphors, prose and an eloquent vernacular, it's straightforward. While his poetry in other songs is used to draw Them in, decorate his love and entice Them, he's done with getting nothing. He wants to be an equal, a lover, but he gets naught.

The reason why, other than the obvious choice of acapella instead of instruments, the song feels so lonely is because it's the only song—overall—that he doesn't get a response to. Sugar is the response to The Offering, Say That You Will is the response to Take Aim etc., but here? Cold, dead silence. No gesture in tongues, no crushing 'affection'; no nothing.

So, to the rhythm of eternity, he will be on that beach, stumbling, crawling and shouting out the same question that he will never get an answer to; won't you fall for me?

However, even though, unlike most songs that get an answer within their album, Vessel gets one in the next. Take Me Back To Eden, therefore, becomes the answer to that question. As well as Vessel's action against it.

@lifemod17 saw you reblog the ask as well, thought you might like this :]

[syn0vial]

touch-averse or touch-starved? an analysis of boba fett's attitudes towards physical touch in legacy of the force

a sufficient number of people expressed interest in this topic that i'm finally making this post! i find this facet of fett's characterization quite fascinating and naturally wanted to share, especially bc it's so unexpectedly nuanced in a lot of ways. so here it is, for the consideration and enjoyment of fic writers, expanded universe enjoyers, and general fett fans alike!

touch is (ostensibly) unbearable because it's a form of compassion. throughout the series, if there's one thing we learn can put fett into the fight-or-flight reflex, it's compassion. at multiple points, his gut reaction to someone showing him compassion is to either lash out at them to get them to stop (as he does with jaina), or if he's not willing to do that, get away from them as fast as he can (as he does with sintas and occasionally beviin early into their friendship). fett explicitly equates more intimate forms of touch (such as hugging, or taking his hand) with compassion and states outright that he has no idea how to respond to such gestures. yet, fett's attitude towards touch cannot be boiled down to simple aversion, because

fett's reactions to physical touch read more like someone who is touch-starved, not touch-averse. despite the attitude towards compassion explored above, when fett is actually faced with compassionate touch, his reaction is not what one would expect. in contrast to when people try to verbally show him compassion, which will get the aforementioned fight-or-flight response, compassionate touch provokes much more ambivalence. for example, when sintas reaches out to take his hand, he initially "dreads" it—yet, when she actually touches him, the text tells us, "He needed her to let go of his hand; but he didn't want her to." similarly, though fett seems to express relief that mirta isn't the type to hug him or take his hand, in the very previous book, we seem to have evidence contrary to all parts of this statement. namely, mirta places her hand in his to reassure him when he's undergoing a very painful treatment for his fucked-up-clone-DNA disease, and his reaction is to immediately take her hand and, when the doctor starts lining up the needle, to squeeze it with such force that mirta "thought he'd break every bone in her fingers." these do not read as the reactions of someone who is averse to touch, but rather, someone who is actually quite touch-starved.

(note that it is not at all uncommon for fett's actions/emotional responses to be at odds with the image he projects. he is not at all a reliable narrator of his own internal experience. for example, at one point he claims to not feel ashamed of anything he's ever done, despite the fact that we see him explicitly grappling with feelings of deep, paralyzing shame for how he treated sintas. beviin even teases him for this habit at one point, responding to fett's claims of professional detachment in the face of his obvious care for others with a cheeky, "'course, i believe you 😉")

furthermore, as we see with mirta, fett can get downright clingy when he's worried about someone. in revelation, fett and mirta both take part in a mission that eventually forces them to split up into separate strike teams. fett is, to put it mildly, rather anxious about this. he fears that something will happen to mirta when she's on her own, and that furthermore, it will be his fault for agreeing to take her along on the mission in the first place. significantly, the separation is book-ended by two instances of fett physically grabbing mirta. first, when mirta begins to climb up into the other part of the ship, fett grabs her by the ankle to try and slow her departure, a result, we're told of his "sudden fear for her." he doesn't let go until she shakes him off. later on, when they're reunited, with mirta covered in someone else's (though fett isn't yet aware of this) blood, jaina observes that he grabs her tightly by the shoulder "as if he was going to shake the daylights out of her." both of these reactions seem to be purely instinctive and visceral; it seems fett's first, kneejerk reaction to the fear of losing someone is to physically grab and hold onto them. again, his actions don't align with the detached, touch-averse image he sometimes portrays.

finally, the characters who know fett best seem to know to offer physical reassurance in the face of painful/distressing situations. specifically, we see beviin and mirta offer physical touch as reassurance; beviin places his hand on fett's back when he's watching sintas suffer from carbonite thawing sickness and is anxiously waiting to see whether her mind is still intact, and, as mentioned above, mirta places her hand in his when he's receiving treatment for his genetic disease. and that's not to even mention how sintas's first reaction to seeing him in emotional turmoil is to try and take his hand. for all that fett tries to put on a distant, untouchable facade, the characters he cares about most and vice-versa can see through it within the text itself.

in conclusion, i feel like if a character he cared about actually hugged him, fett's reaction would be something along the lines of this image:

thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[strawburrychainsaw]

Damn aggretsuko s4 really said the male loneliness epidemic is just regular loneliness and lack of self worth and a loving girlfriend won't fix it for you while being incredibly encouraging towards people that they are not irreplaceable and that love and community, not being a "high value man", are what matter to your being a respectable, virtuous person

[brilliantorinsane]

kdfjhg does Ronald Howard accidentally call Watson 'Holmes' at 3.47 in The Shy Ballerina. I could well be mishearing but

[justaqueerlad]

Hey. gently holds you by the shoulders. What do you make of the start of Everyone Hates His Parents and the way that Jason specifies how he commutes from Trina's to Marvin's, but is driven back from Marvin's to Trina's by Trina. Have we thought about that.

TLDR: At first glance, it's the usual 'Marvin's the deadbeat dad and Trina is the single mother. But Trina's newfound control over her life and the way she's finally able to act independently of Marvin has a bit of an offensive edge (with its justifications of course) and the sudden change in Marvin's character into act 2 now makes Trina feel more overbearing in a way.

Like. Jason says specifically, "Travel, travel, travel, from her house to his house." Why doesn't Marvin pick Jason up himself like Trina does? Is it from his old habits of distancing himself from his kid and operating as separate entities? Or is he purposefully distancing himself from the household that reminds him of his toxic past? Has he never forgiven himself over what he's done to his family and is keeping space to prevent it from happening again?

Then, "Each Sunday night, Mother comes to get me." In this instance specifically, Trina and Mendel come to pick Jason up after the weekend. Of course, Jason's old and mature enough to commute himself, so why does Trina pick Jason up instead of letting him commute back? To show her care towards her child? The most probable reason, given how she's spent most of his parenting life basically as a solo mother.

But if she worried about Jason that much, surely she'd drop Jason off at Marvin's? Unless she's also trying to distance her responsibility over Jason from Marvin's responsibility? (So when Mendel tells her to "Drop it... give it up... what's the matter, Trina?" in 'A Day in Falsettoland', does this suggest that while Trina still struggles with letting go of things she cannot control, she's been too used to putting the blame of her family breaking down on the fact that "[her] life is shitty and [her] kid seems like an idiot to [her]" and that Marvin's queer to realise her own failings in not only looking down on her child but in neglecting him in her wanting to cut Marvin out of her life?)

In the argument in 'Everyone Hates Their Parents', Trina opens the discussion. "I want the Applebaums, they're lovely and they like me." She asserts that she wants to "have the Applebaums" two times, before Marvin counters after each. Perhaps something could be said in the way she appears to be 'starting' the fights? Jason also notes how each of Trina's and Mendel's visits to pick him up from Marvin's spark a fight between his divorced parents. The fact that Trina comes to pick Jason up alone feels almost as if she's making the decision to 'rescue' Jason from Marvin's custody; and the fact that her visit sparks fights only highlights further how Trina has begun to take the offensive side.

In 'A Day in Falsettoland', Marvin has to gently beg, "Please?" three times to ask Trina to consider Cordelia to cater for the bar mitzvah. Compared to Trina's initiative to pick Jason up every week, it seems as though Marvin has truly taken a more passive side to his role in the family. (As in, he's stopped expecting himself to be the omnipresent, omnipotent male head of the family, who has control over everything.)

However, in 'Falsettoland/About Time', Marvin emphasises how short his custody over Jason per week is: "But I still have my son on the weekends, just on the weekends."—in short, 'at least I still get to see my son, although just for two out of seven days'. While Trina has supposedly finally got her life together, Marvin is clawing on to whatever little he has remaining from the consequences of Act 1. The two years that have passed since 'Father To Son' has changed him drastically, and yet Trina is still hung over about Whizzer, about Marvin attempting to be a little more present in Jason's life.

---

Obviously taken a very different approach in regards to how you analyse Trina and Marvin together as characters, but I find it incredibly fascinating how complex they are and how much they change throughout both acts of the musical, so much so that their flaws are never 100% fixed even after the fiasco that was March of the Falsettos (Act 1 I mean. Not the song lmao.) Especially with Trina, whose complexity I often overlook because it seems in Act 1 that all the men are downright ridiculous and Trina's the only one who can see it. Just refreshing to see how the perspectives of one character can drastically influence our own—whether for good or bad, that's up to interpretation.

[inocennt]

lover at its conceptual core is an overt callback to the red album prologue and i am So Normal about this

[icewindandboringhorror]

I'm so heavily anti-advertising that all pitches sound goofy silly to me/I can never take them seriously, so I have no idea how I'll manage to to advertise my game even if I do finally finish it soon-ish lol...

[oddly-casual]

Totoko, Karamatsu, and the theme of driving.

If I stand correct, Karamatsu and Totoko have been associated with driving a total of two times and I have yet to read that to filth so I’m gonna do it now. (ramble under cut)

I think there’s something really interesting about Karamatsu’s relationship to driving and how it’s tied with Totoko. Both times around seasons 2 & 3.

The first instance we see is in the episode Karamatsu Taxi. When Totoko is in a rush to get to a cafe for work and offers to tell Karamatsu (her taxi driver) the directions to get there. He doesn’t let her, saying stuff like “I’d be a loser if I used it (the GPS)” and “we’ll get there in eight-tion.” Both of which impress Totoko and have her out her faith in him.

Karamatsu spends the whole skit getting lost while spouting off some deep soul shit which holds no actual weight. He isn’t an experienced driver, but instead a novice at the job. He doesn’t even know what specific buttons in his car do. Popping the hood and truck several times, but more interestingly is his big finish.

Let’s be real, this big of a celebration isn’t necessary and far from professional. He obviously saves this as a job well done for himself, but it’s his first day and he fires it off prematurely (again, tying into his lack of knowledge and experience)

I’ve said this before (if I remember correctly) but I think each skit has specific characters for a reason. I find it super interesting that instead of another brother, or a girlymatsu, or even someone like Iyami or Chibita, they choose Totoko.

Totoko the independent queen.

Totoko does her best to give him the benefit of the doubt. She can see through Karamatsu’s bullshit the more lost they get and loses her temper at his incompetence.

While that’s par for the course in terms of Totoko behavior, it’s the advice she gives that adds a sweet lesson to a normally cynical and comedy driven skit.

It’s especially Totoko that gives this advice, and I think it’s super important. (Not just because later it’s revealed that she herself isn’t an expert in anything- but it is pretty funny. My girl is so wise)

I think we can easily apply this to Totoko’s struggles in being an idol. Being your own boss isn’t easy, and we see Totoko struggle again and again in gathering fans, finding gimmicks that work, and even gritting her teeth to team up with Nyaa because she knows her career is drowning right now.

Totoko follows her ambitions, and she does it on her own merits no matter how hard that journey is. Regardless, she wouldn’t be doing something she doesn’t like if she doesn’t get something out of it.

In a way, she following her own advice. She’s doing the hard part before she can do the fun part.

Similarly, Karamatsu has to learn the job and do the job before he can do the fun part (ie. his big disco ball finish, his wise words, ignition, etc)

But, hold on, if Totoko’s advice in the skit can be tied to her current job as an idol- then how does Karamatsu’s lesson tie into his character?

“Im so glad you asked” I say to myself as I write alone.

Karamatsu wants to be cool so bad guys

I mean…no shit right? He pours money into manly men magazines, glittery masculine fashion, and shades galore but I think we underestimate how deep it really runs.

Almost everything about Karamatsu is fake, because he wants only the curated imagine of himself to be what he displays. The comedy is in the hypocrisy.

He wants to be the brother with a generous and kind heart, but leave a brother hanging when it’s no longer his problem. He wants to spout poetics about love when he’s never really been in love (drug store lady doesn’t count I don’t think). He begs his mother to buy him a motorcycle but he (I guarantee you) would most likely wheel it around like a bike when he fails to learn it right away.

See what I mean? He wants to appear a certain way when that’s not who he is.

In the final episode of season 3, we basically get it spelled out for us. Each way the brother is holding themself back, the pitfalls they sink into.

For Karamatsu, he bums around until he thinks of a way to be popular. That being a ‘big machine’ or in other words, a motorcycle. What are his methods of getting one?

Wow! He actually considers getting a part time job! Before dropping it for an easier method…

He doesn’t want to put the work in, he just wants the fun part. Much like the season 2 skit Karamatsu Taxi tells us.

At the very least, the skit had him actually earn his big finish. He grit his teeth and followed Totoko’s direction and got her to where she needed to go. He did the work so he could do the fun part.

In the current time line, it’s almost like he’s allergic to the thought of it. He has no outward goals or ambitions, no desire to work since everything is handed to him.

Yet the things he actually wants; stardom, cool cars, and lovers- aren’t something that’s handed to you. It’s something you have to work for. Time and time again, Karamatsu ditches the rough road for staring up at the stars instead. Why?

Well, because he’s lazy. Right?

Eh, yes and no.

They need more platonic moments together I am not kidding.

Totoko has a unique and interesting dynamic with everyone on the show. I mostly attribute that to the kind of character she is. let’s be honest, Totoko is the representation of girlhood and, weirdly enough, maturity.

But the thing I love love love about Totoko that I will never stop talking about is how she always fails.

Her idol career is her biggest example. While it isn’t down the drain, it’s struggling. She couldn’t hold a solo career on her own. She refused to give up the fish theme, and struggled to sell tickets at a regular price because her fanbase just wasn’t up there. She even fails to keep Nyaa as an enemy. Instead becoming friends and in a way- co parents.

Not to mention her attempt at driving, despite taking lessons is…

Yikes.

But just because it is an attempt, doesn’t make it her only attempt. Despite how much Totoko get sent back, she doesn’t take the easy path. Her first attempt is never her only attempt.

And maybe Karamatsu just doesn’t know what good driving is, but he clearly admires Totoko and this step she’s taken.

Despite how much season 1 Totoko wanted a rich oil tycoon to sweep her off her feet, from season 2 onwards Totoko has put her all into getting what she wants. Doing it even if it isn’t glamorous or easy so that she can get to the fun part.

Meanwhile Karamatsu doesn’t even want to try. He goes as far as to going to a used car store, only to turn away. “These cars aren’t fit for a star.” You can almost hear him think.

Driving, for most, is considered a rite of passage. It’s like your extra achievement into becoming an adult. These guys are well into their twenties and none of them can drive (I can’t talk shit I can’t drive either). Above all, it’s supposed to be about freedom, independence.

Karamatsu doesn’t want the freedom, or even to brag about the fact that he can drive. It’s purely so he can look cool in cool cars.

But learning to drive is just another step in that direction, so why not? Again, you can argue it’s because he’s lazy and no doubt he is.

Another part of it, I believe, is a fear of failure.

He fears being a bad person, so he acts as a doormat. He fears being unoriginal and boring, so he throws on his most high heeled boots and sings on the roof top. He fears being lonely, so he goes out every day- but also fears rejection, so he doesn’t approach anybody and instead waits for someone to notice him.

It’s kind of sad, honestly. Karamatsu craves a lot of things, but fears the what if’s of failure. Something I imagine a lot of people understand. After all, failure is scary and nothing is more disappointing than putting the work in just to come out empty handed.

But I think that’s why I like Totoko and Karamatsu as a duo. Totoko is like the big sister, she is all the things Karamatsu wishes he could be. I don’t think even he has noticed it yet.

I truly think these characters can learn a lot from each other, and while I’m sure season 4 will focus on another dynamic with Totoko- I’m happy I could hyper fixate and love this duo for what they are.

[squeiky]

The audacity of existence.

How dare you be concieved. To be blessed with the touch of angels, you golden haired goddess. How dare you force your reflection upon mine. The audacity to mirror me.

YOU.

I hate you. You are my purgatory, and hell resides within your dastardly light. You are the anthesis to my existance, my purpose, my life. Tormet me by image alone.

Do you know how much you have pained me? How much the mere sight of you, has distorted me? Ruined me? Hurt me? Questions your existance has plauged in my mind?

Look at you, my loathsome copy. You are nothing like me.

So then why?

Why does the universe kiss you gently upon a flushed cheek then heckle and spit on mine? Why are you the beloved golden duckling whilst i remain the unwanted black swan?

Why is it me who must rid myself of my body, blood, and mind. Discarding me of myself to end you? I have done nothing short of effort. I have given myself all to destroying you, to riding the world of you. Yet they love you. They do not love me.

We resemble eachother more than anyone else ever will. It is cruel a fate, to be devoted entirely to destroying a twisted reflection of myself. Burdened by both our images, drowning me in hatred made for both us. Yet you remain free, whilsy i remain prisioner.

It feels, as i seek to destroy you, i destroy myself. So i do. Over and over again. Yet you remain unscathed, bright and beautiful. Whilst i remain broken, left to rot in the mud. Helpless. Afraid. Alone.

Thinking.

What must i do? Who must i be to be kissed by the same light that dared to birth you?

Must i purge myself of all things to simply taste a fraction of it? How will i outshine you? Must I transform my body till there is nothing of me left, just to feel your light crushed beneath mine? Must i erase myself completly? Must i become you? Must i be you?  Must i place my hands against your neck? My lifeless material crushing your ugly flesh to finally hear the last of your breath. Must i feel everyones glare peirce through my unending spine, wishing nothing but breaking every metal bone instead of me?

Must i take their love and desire and rip it from their broken hearts, forcing them to kneel before me and drag your dead light upon me? Must i become king of all things, living, dead and unalive, before i get a fraction, a mere TASTE of your life?

Is that what the world desires of me?

Is THAT what it takes?

my loathsome copy. Your existance is what destroys me. You are everything without me but i am nothing without you.  Yet i am made to end you. To destroy the only thing, the only purpose i have in life.

You all look down upon me. Even my creator, cant seem to look at me without seeing you. Forever i am compared to you. Forever i think of only you. Forever i am destroyed by you. Forever i am devoted to destroying you. Forever i am afriad. Forever i am chained, cursed to this wretched body, reflecting you.

YOU.

I hate you. I loathe you.

....

What a cruel existance to be born, you and I.

I hope when i choke you death, you'll burn me alive.

[deadrocks]

Torn because I want to commiserate a bit about the end of Dragon Age as a series, but I don't want to hit any "if you criticized Veilguard or didn't buy it, this is *your* fault" -style posts. Maybe there aren't any, but I'm not feeling inclined to go find out.

[jaguarys]

For the record I don't think the Sannin had some sort of dramatic falling out. I think they grew apart in a way that they almost didn't notice. I think they found different interests, different people, and no matter how much they told themselves they were still as close as they'd always been they weren't. And I think it was a process of continually realizing these people aren't who you idealized in your mind; that they are maybe, kind of, sort of bad people; that they have done things you can't ignore, and that, maybe, they are your enemies. But there's no closure there. There's no sense of relief to be gained. Because you love them. You love them more than anyone in the world–– more than your students, more than your spouse, more than your family, more than your village. They know more about you than anyone ever will or ever could. They hold pieces of you, not only in your knowledge, not only in your youth, but in your soul, because they are one-third of it. You know them more, and less, than anyone could, and definitely more than you should