#i always feel a little weird talking about my own art haha

[lendeah]

No, my love. I'm not jealous of the walking encyclopedia.

Summary: Astarion is very much not jealous of Gale being your magic teacher. And he is definitely not going to teach him a lesson. or Astarion gets jealous of Gale teaching you magic and decides to teach him his own lesson.

Pairing: Astarion x Fem!Reader.

Word Count: 4.1k

Tags: Jealousy, Possessive Behavior, Exhibitionism, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Possessive Sex, Vaginal Sex, Creampie , Public Sex, Public Nudity, Forest Sex, idk its a lot, Happy Ending, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings.

WARNING: +18, minors DNI

[AO3 Link]

You would've thought Astarion wasn't one to be jealous. He was always so nonchalant when it came to sharing you with others, or watching you giving affection to the rest of the group. So tranquil and chill. And you liked that! You loathed controlling behavior on your partners, as it should be. But over time, you noticed small details that betrayed his true feelings.

Despite his calm exterior, he would bite your neck harder after having drinks with Karlach, leaving marks for days. Or sometimes, if Shadowheart got too close for comfort, the vampire would fuck you so hard that night you were barely able to move the next day. Laughing at Wylls jokes? He would eat you out for hours on end until you were pleading for him to stop.

But it wasn't just during sex that he showed hints of jealousy. One day, while sitting at the campfire, Gale brushed his hand against your arm playfully as he told a story. You didn't think much of it until Astarion's hand casually slid over your hip and pulled you closer to him, silently claiming you as his own. As his fingers gripped your waist, he leaned in and planted soft kisses on your neck, causing you to blush at the unexpected display of affection. This pattern persisted for days, and you couldn't help but notice that whenever someone got too close or flirted with you, Astarion would subtly place an arm around your shoulders or play with your hair. It was like some sort of game to him, though he would never admit it to you.

The worst came when Gale offered to teach you to do magic. You were surprised by how easily you seemed to pick up the magical arts. Gale was also an excellent teacher, patient and encouraging. It was exhilarating every time you successfully cast a spell or even conjured a small flame in your hand. As you continued to learn and practice magic with Gale, you would excitedly retell your experiences to Astarion. You loved every moment of it and couldn't contain your enthusiasm. And even though he loved teasing and taunting you about your newly acquired magical abilities, he was also impressed by it.

"You truly are a surprising little thing," he would say with a genuine smile as he watched you practice spells.

But soon enough, you noticed that every time you brought it up, he would go harder during the night, making sure you were moaning his name loud enough to wake everyone in camp. After one particularly intense session, you were lying next to him in his bedroll, lightly tracing your fingers over the bite marks on his neck

"Are you okay?" you questioned softly.

Astarion's hand stilled on your back as he looked at you.

"Why do you ask?" he replied, his voice guarded.

"I just... you have been behaving a bit weird lately when I talk about my lessons with Gale."

He just scoffed "I simply find it amusing to think about you spending so much time with Gale of all people; his constant rambling must be driving you to madness."

You raised an eyebrow at his response, not buying it for a second. "Come on, Astarion. I know you better than that. What's really bothering you? Are you jealous?"

He looked at you shocked for a second, but then just laughed. "Haha! No, my love. I'm not jealous of the walking encyclopedia."

You couldn't help but laugh at Astarion's response. "Walking encyclopedia? That's a bit harsh, don't you think?"

Astarion just rolled his eyes and shrugged. "He's got as much magic expertise as he has a knack for being utterly irritating."

You just chuckled and decided to overlook it for the time being.

A few days later you were in the middle of a class with Gale laughing together about a miscast spell you couldn't seem to grasp. The wizard came up from behind and placed his hands on your waist to assist with your movements. You were so focused on the task at hand that neither of you noticed Astarion's arrival until he loudly cleared his throat, causing you both to startle.

"Having fun without me, I see," Astarion said with a smirk as he leaned against the nearby tree, arms crossed over his chest.

Gale responded with a nonchalant roll of his eyes to Astarion's usual snide remark, but you couldn't help feeling annoyed, already knowing where this conversation was headed.

"We were just practicing," you said curtly.

"Is that right?" he drawled with a smirk. He sauntered towards you, his fiery gaze assessing every inch of your being."Well, I apologize for interrupting your lesson, my love, but I do require your assistance. It's a matter of urgency, you see."

"Right now? Can't it wait?" you interjected, wanting to get back to your lesson with Gale.

"Is there anything amiss? Do you require our assistance?" Gale asked, his hand still grabbing your waist. Astarion's gaze locked on the hand, his eyes reflecting something almost primal.

"Nothing that should concern you," Astarion snapped, eyes fixed on Gale."This is an important matter I need to discuss with her. Alone."

You could feel Gale tense up beside you, his grip on your waist tightening ever so slightly. Sensing the tension between the two men, you quickly stepped out of Gale's grasp.

"Fine," you said with a sigh before turning to Gale. "I'll catch up with you later for our lesson."

Gale just nodded in understanding and gave you a small smile. Astarion didn't even wait for you to follow before walking in the direction of the woods. You rolled your eyes at his childish behavior before catching up to him. He effortlessly navigated through the dense forest, leading you to a clearing not far from Gale's tent with his elegant and agile footsteps.

"What did you need to discuss?" you asked, trying to sound calm.

Astarion's intense gaze snapped back to you, and with swift strides, he closed the distance between you. Without warning, he pulled you into a sudden and passionate kiss that nearly knocked you off balance. The taste of his cool lips sent electricity coursing through your body, igniting every nerve ending like a blazing fire.

"W-wh-" you tried to mumble, but Astarion's kiss was almost suffocating, his hands gripping your waist tightly and pulling you closer to him. Finally, you were able to break free from his grasp and take a step back, taking in his disheveled appearance, "By the Nine Hells Astarion, what is wrong with you?!"

Astarion smirked, his eyes glinting with a mixture of lust and mischief. "Gale was getting too chummy with you, darling. And we can't have anyone stealing my spotlight. He's a ticking time bomb, after all," he murmured, his voice low and seductive.

You rolled your eyes and swatted at him, trying to hide your growing frustration. "Don't give me that, you know as well as I do he is perfectly fine. Just admit it, you are jealous!"

Astarion's smirk fell completely now, his eyes darkening with anger. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he spat, taking a step back from you.

"Oh please, Astarion. You don't have to pretend with me. I can see right through you. The casual touches, the nights you go harder, the biting... All this nonchalant act is getting out of hand!" you snapped back at him, your frustration now bubbling over.

A flicker of emotion crossed Astarion's face, revealing a petulant anger that made him look almost childish. "I'm not envious," he insisted, his voice dripping with frustration. "It's just...he's so aggravating! Always touching you and trying to make you laugh."

"He is teaching me, Astarion. That's what teachers do!" you exclaimed, stepping closer to him.

But Astarion didn't relent. "You may be oblivious, my dear, but I see the way he looks at you," he muttered, "Whether you're fighting or casting spells, his eyes are always on you. It's quite maddening, really."

A shiver ran down your spine at Astarion's words and you couldn't help but feel a little confused. "You are imagining things," you whispered.

Astarion's gaze intensified as he leaned closer to you, his lips brushing yours. "Am I?" he purred, "Did you not see the way he was holding onto you when I walked in?"

You felt yourself blushing under his intense stare. "That's just how he is, Astarion. He's a naturally affectionate person," you tried to explain.

He chuckled. "A naturally affectionate person, you say? And yet...it seems I've never received such affections from him," he said, his gaze trailing over to where your tutor stood behind the trees. He turned back to you with a sly grin, his hand snaking around your waist. "Maybe it's about time we teach him a lesson," he whispered, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine.

A mischievous glint appeared in his eyes and before you knew it, Astarion had pushed you back against a nearby tree, his lips claiming yours in a heated kiss. Your thoughts faded away as you naturally wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Astarion’s grip drew you in, pulling you flush against him while his lips devoured yours. You were swept away by the sensation of his cold hands sliding under your shirt and along your back. Instinctively, your fingers tangled in his ivory hair, pulling at the curls and causing a low rumble to escape from his mouth.

But just as quickly as it began, Astarion pulled away with a satisfied smirk on his face.

"Oh darling," he purred in your ear, "what would your dear tutor say if he saw you now?"

Your face flushed hotly, a new wave of embarrassment washing over you.

"Astarion," you warned weakly, trying to escape his grasp.

But his hold only tightened, the arm around your waist bringing you flush against him once again. "Oh darling," he murmured, his voice low and tinged with amusement, his breath fanning your ear, sending jolts of electricity down your spine. "I'm just getting started."

Heart pounding in your chest, you willed yourself to meet his gaze. His crimson eyes bore through yours and despite everything that was happening, you felt a small flutter in your stomach. "You're impossible," you said finally, trying to sound stern but only succeeding in letting out a breathy sigh.

Astarion's lips curved into a wicked smile at your words. He leaned in close so you could feel the coolness of his breath on your skin and whispered, "Only for you."

Any further arguments were lost as he captured your lips once more with his own. The world around seemed to blur as you were consumed by the feeling of Astarion’s lips moving over yours. You could feel yourself melting into his touch, all thoughts of your tutor and any consequences forgotten.

Astarion's hand, which had been resting on your hip, began to glide down the length of your body until it reached between your legs. You couldn't help but let out a gasp at the unexpected touch, but Astarion only pressed himself closer to you, causing you to feel his hardness pressing against you. His hand continued to move teasingly, his fingers lightly pressing along the fabric of your trousers, causing small shivers to run through your body. You could feel yourself already dripping in anticipation, wondering if he could feel it through the fabric. The other hand that was now resting on your ass moved upwards, slowly unbuttoning your shirt. Your breath caught in anticipation as you felt the cool air hit your hot skin as Astarion opened your shirt fully. Astarion's hungry eyes roamed over your exposed chest, taking in every inch of your skin as his mouth descended on one of your nipples. He suckled and nipped at it gently with his fangs, sending sparks of pleasure through your body. You moaned softly and arched your back, fingers buried in his hair, pulling him closer as you lost yourself in the intense pleasure. Astarion's attention shifted to your other nipple, leaving a trail of wet kisses between them. You let out a small whimper as Astarion's hand finally slipped inside your trousers, his fingers exploring your wet folds.

Astarion's lips left your nipple and traveled upwards to capture your mouth once more, his tongue tangling with yours in a heated dance. As his fingers began to circle your clit, you couldn't help but moan loudly into his mouth.

He chuckled against your lips before breaking the kiss and whispering huskily in your ear, "You're so wet for me already."

At that your breath hitched, eyes traveling to the place where you could barely see the camp, watching as Gale read his book in the cushions of his tent. If he were to look in your direction, he would see everything that was taking place.

Astarion's fingers expertly explored your cunt, teasing and stroking your clit repeatedly. His lips never left your skin, trailing kisses down your neck and collarbone as his hand continued its movements between your legs. He pulled back slightly, looking down at you with a heated glare, "Well, well, well. Look at you, dear. All hot and bothered."

You couldn't help but blush at his words, feeling slightly embarrassed by your own actions. Just then, your thoughts were interrupted by a loud snort coming from Gale's tent.

"What if he heard us?" you whispered frantically to Astarion.

Astarion shrugged nonchalantly. "Let him hear," he said with a sly smile. "Maybe it'll make him realize what he's missing out on."

You rolled your eyes at his cockiness but couldn't deny the thrill that ran through your body at the thought of being caught by Gale. Then, to your surprise, he suddenly dropped to his knees and began to lower your trousers down to your ankles before pushing them away. Your heart was racing with anticipation as he revealed your wet and throbbing core. His eyes darkened with desire as he took in the sight before him.

"Delectable," he muttered, almost to himself, before he took your leg and placed it over his shoulder. Then, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth against your core, using his tongue to explore every inch of you. You moaned at the feeling, gripping the back of his head as he sucked on your nub and licked along your slit. The sensation was overwhelming, causing you to buck your hips against his face. Astarion's hands tightened on your thighs in response, holding you still as he continued his ministrations.

His thumb caressed circles around your swelling clit, a slight chuckle escaping his lips as he felt a surge of wetness spill from you at his touch. He then slowly pushed a finger inside of you, the sudden intrusion making you clench around him and grip his hair tighter.

"Such an exhibitionist you've become," he murmured, voice raspy. His eyes flickered up to meet yours, devilish delight dancing in them at your disheveled state. He added another finger inside of you, thrusting it in and out slowly while his rough thumb focused on your throbbing clit. You threw your head back in pleasure, biting your bottom lip to suppress the loud moans threatening to escape.

Suddenly, you heard Gale's voice call out from behind the trees, "Is everything alright over there?"

Astarion paused at the sound of his voice but didn't break away from you completely. He looked up at you with an amused grin, whispering, "Do we tell him, dear?"

The panic that had momentarily subsided returned full force, all the color drained from your face.

"T-tell him what?" you managed to say, trying to regain your composure as Astarion continued his teasing movements.

"That his lovely apprentice is currently being fingered by a vampire," he said with a mischievous look in his red eyes.

As you were about to retaliate, Astarion's fingers curled inside of you in just the right spot, sending electric shocks of pleasure through your body and cutting off any coherent thought.

You let out a loud moan, despite your efforts to hold back. At this, Gale's voice called out again, sounding closer this time. You tried to protest, but the words were lost in another wave of pleasure as Astarion's mouth latched onto your clit and sucked hard. Your hand flew to your mouth, biting it to prevent more sounds from emanating.

"Oh, no, that won't do dear." He whispered, gripping your wrist to pull it away from your lips.

You looked down at him with pleading eyes, silently begging him to stop and not let Gale discover you in this compromising position.

But Astarion only smirked up at you, his fingers still pumping inside of you as his tongue continued its assault on your clit. He shifted his position slightly, making sure that Gale wouldn't be able to see what was happening unless he came closer.

You could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, the pleasure building and building until you were practically shaking with it. Astarion must have noticed, as he abruptly halted his actions and withdrew his mouth and hand, leaving you feeling empty and frustrated.

Before you could complain, his mouth was back on yours, swallowing any sounds that threatened to escape as his fingers found their way back inside of you. This time he didn't hold back, thrusting them in and out of you relentlessly while his other hand reached around to pinch and twist your already sore nipple. The sounds were so lewd and wet and loud, it was hard to imagine that Gale wasn't able to hear them.

"By the gods," you moaned in his mouth, breaking the kiss to gasp for air. "I need you. Now."

Astarion chuckled and pulled back to look at you, his red eyes glinting with desire. "You'll have to be more specific, love," he said teasingly, still keeping his fingers inside of you.

You could feel yourself getting more frustrated by the second. You needed him inside of you, filling you up and satisfying this aching need that had been building since he first touched you.

"Just...just fuck me already," you practically growled, finding it hard to form coherent thoughts with the way he was making your body tingle.

Astarion's smirk turned into a full-blown grin as he withdrew his fingers, licking them clean before whispering huskily. "Only if you don't hold back."

You grumbled under your breath as Astarion reached down and unbuttoned his pants, revealing his already rigid and eager member. Your heart races as you reach out, unable to resist the temptation, and wrap your hand around it, stroking lightly. He responds by lifting your leg with ease, wrapping it around his waist as he presses you against the rough bark of a nearby tree, igniting a burning desire within you.

He positioned himself between your legs, teasingly rubbing his hard length against your entrance.

With one swift thrust, he entered you fully, filling you up in all the right ways. You moaned loudly at the feeling of being filled by him, gripping onto his shoulders tightly. He began to move slowly at first, pulling out almost completely before thrusting back in. Each time he hit that perfect spot inside of you, you couldn't help but let out another loud moan. You could feel your walls tightening around him.

"Say my name," he groaned, his red eyes locking with yours, "Say my name so he knows."

"A-Astarion!" You cried out, heedless of the echo that bounced back from the surrounding trees. He chuckled darkly against your skin, his hot breath fanning over your dampened neck and sending shivers down to your core.

"That's it, my sweet," he praised. "Let them know who's making you feel this good."

His arrogance was infuriating and intoxicating all at once. Astarion's pace quickened as he chased his release, the sounds of your moans and the slap of skin against skin filling the air. His hands tightened around your thigh and hip, almost painfully so, but the slight discomfort only added to the intense pleasure coursing through you.

The rough bark of the tree was also scratching your back painfully, and you knew that it would leave bruises and scratches from this encounter, but in this moment, all you could focus on was Astarion and the way he was hitting that spot inside you time and time again.

A rustling in the bushes caught your attention for a brief moment, but Astarion's hand grasped your neck and his signature glance brought your focus back to him. You knew what that glance meant; he wanted to claim you fully. Without hesitation, you offered your neck and he wasted no time, sinking his fangs into your skin. The sensation was overwhelming - both painful and pleasurable at the same time. You moaned loudly as he drank from you, and Astarion's thrusts became erratic and desperate. Your hands were tangled in his hair, pulling him closer to you as you moaned his name over and over again.

As he felt himself reaching his peak, he reached down to the space where your bodies joined, and pressed his rough thumb against the sensitive nub there. Your mind spun, your vision blurred, and the world seemed at once both too bright and too dark as you gasped out his name one last time before the intensity of the orgasm took your voice away. Astarion groaned deeply against your neck, his fangs dislodging from your skin. You could feel yourself clenching around him, milking him for all he was worth as he continued to thrust into you until he found his own release.

With one final moan of your name, Astarion climaxed, his body tensing as he spilled himself inside of you. He collapsed against your body, both of you panting heavily as you tried to catch your breath.

Stunned by the whole encounter and paralyzed by exhaustion, you hung limply against Astarion whose arms felt like steel bands around you holding you up against the tree. The rustling in the bushes grew louder now, more insistent but neither of you cared enough to investigate the source.

His gaze flicked down to inspect the puncture marks left behind on your skin and an expression of satisfaction washed over his handsome face. He pressed a soft kiss on the two small wounds before pulling away from you, his body still trembling slightly from the afterglow. As he pulled out, you could both hear and feel the squelching, as the remnants of his seed dripped between your legs. You were left panting and trembling against the tree trunk as Astarion straightened up with a satisfied smirk on his face. You looked up at him in disbelief.

"I can't believe...you did that..." You managed to say between breaths.

Astarion chuckled and leaned in to kiss your forehead before calmly fixing your blouse straight and helping you retrieve your pants, which were thrown in the aftermath. He cleaned your legs and core with his own shirt, and you pointedly ignored his proud grin. He seemed so calm and collected, as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened between the two of you.

After you had composed yourself, you spoke firmly to Astarion. "Your jealousy is becoming a real problem," you told him. "This needs to be addressed. I'm not jesting this time."

As he started to speak, his usual defensive tone creeping in, you stepped forward and cup his face in your hands. You could feel the warmth radiating from his skin, evidence of the recent blood he had just consumed. Your thumbs gently traced over his cheeks, trying to convey all the love and understanding you have for him in that simple touch.

"I crave you and only you. These displays are unnecessary to win my affections, for you already have them completely. Astarion, I am yours, wholly and unconditionally."

Astarion's eyes widened in surprise before they softened. He cupped your face in his hands now, mirroring your gesture. "You truly mean that?" he said in a small voice.

You nodded, looking into his eyes without fear or doubt. You have known for a long time.

Astarion's lips curled up into a genuine smile, fangs and everything, before he leaned down to kiss you again. When you finally broke apart from the kiss, Astarion seemed almost sheepish.

"Well, I must admit, I was a tad envious. But who can blame me? You are so beautiful and incredible." He sighed dramatically, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your cheek. "And now look where it's gotten us. My apologies for letting it get the best of me."

You couldn't help but let out a small laugh at his words and embrace him tightly with your arms.

"Don't worry, a small public display isn't too terrible every now and then. But from now on, please let's keep our encounters in the privacy of our tent," you said with a playful wink.

Astarion chuckled and leaned down to kiss your forehead before returning the tight hug.

"I can do that," he said softly. "As long as I have you, I don't need any further exhibitions."

You smiled against his chest, feeling content and happy in his embrace.

"So, you think Gale caught us?"

[meanbossart]

A long over-due ask compilation (Art & Music)

It's vaguely based on a short story from the book "The Consumer" by Michael Gira, specifically "The Boss". I think it came up in conversation with a friend or something when I was picking a new username, so that's how we arrived at it - this was almost a decade ago so, my memory on it is a little hazy!

{MORE UNDER THE CUT]

HAHA thank you so much!!! Glad you enjoy what I do 😎🍻

I BELIEVE this little guide I put together over here might be helpful to you, also! I touched on pretty much everything you brought up.

As for reference material when it comes to facial expressions, I have a mirror next to my desk which I glance at often and make weird faces at LOL and for consistency, it's really a matter of learning to dissect and remember facial structure. It's just something you end up developing an eye for when you've done it for long enough! Naturally, if we're talking about drawing existing characters, it's always helpful to just look at some pictures of their mugs and take a minute to define what features about them make their faces recognizable - I touch on this at the link above as well!

I do plan on making a "drowstarion" (love that, by the way LOL) playlist eventually, life's just been kicking my ass and I hardly have the time 😭and when I do, I just wanna draw.

Otherwise I don't have any other playlists floating around at the moment, BUT the one my boyfriend made for his Vellioth comic can be found here, and it might scratch a similar itch!

Thank you! I believe this was in reference to this post. Something like that takes me about... An hour??? If we're talking just the colors, at least. Though that's a really rough estimate because I take a lot of breaks, so my sense of time when I work ends up pretty skewed. Even if the application of the colors themselves took less than 20 minutes I probably spent 2 hours just staring at it LOL.

My friend, I have no idea. I'm in a constant battle between "I want to draw more realistically" and "I want to simplify my art so I can draw more/faster". What you see is the result of that ongoing brain-tug-of-war.

Also, just the way I assume everyone else develops theirs - they see stuff they like and emulate it until their art is Frankensteinish enough to be it's own unique thing!

I'm far from a Type O Negative buff, BUT I'm happy to share some of my favorites with you! They're quite scattered across a couple of their albums so I'm not sure I have a favorite, but I would say October Rust is a good starting point.

In no particular order, these are my most listened tracks of theirs: -Love You to Death -Black N.01 -Haunted -She Burned Me Down -Can't Lose You -I Don't Wanna Be Me -Be My Druidess -September Sun -Tripping A Blind Man

Alas, I was one of those people who was already drawing in kindergarten 😅 though I would say I only started taking it seriously when I was around 15-16 years old. As someone who has tried their hand at several other hobbies since reaching adulthood, I get what you're saying that it can kinda feel like... You missed the wagon? I've felt that way about all kind of things lol

That said, I've seen adults managing to develop their art skills extremely fast and effectively before. Understanding where and how you need to improve, and how to follow lessons/guides best is something that is vastly improved by maturity and knowing how to best hone your time, attention, and resources - and those are skills we completely lack as children. So, I sincerely believe that as long as you commit yourself, you can definitely get to a point that you're happy with in a couple of years if not less.

JUST DO IT BUDDY we are all just people looking through a screen and you won't ever see, talk, or meet 99% of the folks who ever clap eyes on what you post. Whenever you start getting nervous about sharing something, take a minute to ask yourself why you're nervous, and if none of the reasons have any genuine substance besides being afraid of what people "might think", just go ahead and post it. You're no mind-reader after all, and if you are, I doubt you can hear what a guy from Argentina or wherever is thinking about the art you made.

Point is, nobody online can touch you 🤷and if someone doesn't like what you do, they can simply choose to not interact with it, and if they do you can block and move on. There are zero reasons for you to feel "bad" about putting up a doodle when our experiences on the web are so easily curated nowadays.

[anonzentimes]

LONG ASS ASK INKOMING ZEN so its super cold in brazil today so typing is a little hard and there might be weird typos fkshdkjd but

when i was like 14 i had online friends that were also 14 and were into danganronpa but all they talked abt was the flaws of the series and how much they hated the more problematic aspects of it, it was a constant wave of gender discourse and sexuality discourse and nagito is a bad portrayal of mental illnesses and miu iruma is too sexual and this character is bad cause of xyz and that character is bad because of this and that and honestly whatever the fuck else you can argue about this series about, whenever i mentioned that danganronpa seemed fun and id like to get into it my friends would tell me that its not worth it, that the series is fucking horrid that i should run the other way and be glad i never entered the hellhole that is being a danganronpa fan

so thanks to this and like constant fucking weird shit coming out of the hell hole that is the fucking dr fandom on Twitter for like, four whole years I straight up didn't touch the series. a series that I was so fully aware that I would love btw, because i was always into gorey art and i found the art of dr so pretty and the characters had such intresting designs and the pink blood was so cool and i love the killing game genre and the mystery solving aspect, of danganronpa seemed so cool, i did not go near this series with a fucking 10-ft Pole

until literally maybe some months ago at 18 years old a streamer I like said on stream something like "oh yeah danganronpa is fucking awesome im so glad i played it" and I was like fuck it, this guy has high standards, if he likes it it cant be that bad. and so I downloaded trigger happy havoc and i was so pleasantly surprised by it, sure case 2 is a case that exists but like other than that i immediately fell in love with this franchise, i loved almost everything about the game, then i started sdr2 and nagito took over every single part of my brain within 0.2 seconds of gameplay AND DR2 IS SO PEAK JUST IN GENERAL udg was super fucking fun i love touko and komarus relationship and the warriors of hope so much, dr3 was awsome even if i didnt really care for future arc despair hope and 2.5 were awasome the end of drv3 hit me like a truck and it genuenly took me a couple hours to understand that my beloved class 77b wasnt just retconned out of existence and currently im trying to kill executive dysfunction and procrastination and read dr0 and again want to replay dr2 cause my hyperfixated ass would rather play the game when she should be alseep to know what happens next than play it when she isn't too tired to understand whats happening lmao

and after i was done with the series i sat down and thought about how i let 14 year olds on the internet who im not even friends with anymore keep me away from something that now i hold so dear and close to my heart, and i wonder how many people who would love danganronpa will never give the series a chance because not only does the wider interner find it cringe but the fandom constantly tell potential new fans to stay away and act like its the worst midea ever written, the way some people are unable to enjoy what they love without guilt is so sad because not only does it affect them but also others

and this is super personal but i wonder how danganronpa would have impacted me if i got into it back when i found out about it at 14, how much different having danganronpa to hang on to would have made my life when i was burning out at school because i was trying to survive neurodivergency hell with undiagnosed autism and possible adhd

dangabronpa is awsome i love it so so much

YOU JUST MADE ME FEEL SO UNBELIEVABLY YOUNG OH MY GOD. I HEARD ABOUT DANGANRONPA WHEN I WAS 11 I'M PRETTY SURE AHHHH HAHA!!! Overall I think this raises a good lesson that we should trust our guts and from our own opinions on media. Look into things you're curious about, learn if it's worth it yourself, and come to your own conclusions! I feel bad for those who never get to understand Nagito Komaeda, let alone know he exists. This franchise has some negatives but the positives outweigh the issues entirely to me and I wish people gave it more of a chance. dangabronpa is awsome INDEED lmfao.

[whiskeyswifty]

Feel free to bank this ask if you need more time but what are your overall thoughts? I feel like I won’t be able to ever rank this album bc it straight up doesn’t feel like an album it more feels like she was like 🤲 here ya go! Which I don’t mind too much bc there’s plenty for me to dig into here but I’m always curious to hear your takes! :)

i fully took your permission to bank this and sit on it, so thank you for that haha but FINALLY i think i can talk about it with enough perspective and time with it where novelty or initial vexations have worn off. I think for the sake being respectful of people's sensitivity (not a value judgment) i'll break it up into positives, net neutral thoughts and criticisms. So you can skip the critical section if you're unable to handle frank but thoughtful criticism of her and her work (again not a value judgement, do whatever you need to enjoy what you want to enjoy. i just enjoy engaging with art critically and it is my blog after all). I'm sure i missed something, and i'll babble about it in the near future, but for now this feels like a good place to stop and share where I've landed.

My TTPD songs on repeat (in no particular order):

The tortured poets department

down bad

so long london

but daddy i love him

florida

guilty as sin

who's afraid of little old me

loml

broken heart

smallest man

clara bow

the black dog

i'mgonnagetyouback

i look in people's windows

so high school

the prophecy

POSITIVES:

loml upon first listen was my favorite and is probably the most Taylor swift song on this album, in the best way. the soft and emotive voice, rising with anger and cracking with pain. the piano and the rhyming structure of the bridge being a cascade of couplets, and even the conceit of the song! taking a well known acronym loml and despite the song being a heartbreak song, still using it in the song the way you expect. luring you in and getting you to let your guard down, knowing to wait until the right moment, and then on the LAST LINE subverting that expectation devastatingly. it's got all the swiftian motifs; the longing that lingers despite a betrayal, the magnetism of an old flame that you can never quite stamp out, haunted by it, passion as fire as it but also how it consumes and destroys, being a fool for love, the burden of remembrance and willing yourself to forget. you name it, this song's got it. just really a remarkable little gem of a song.

but after the anthology came out, loml was usurped by the prophecy. it's absoutely my favorite like hoooooooooly shit. this is what i LOOOOOOVE hearing about from her. the perspective of time!! the self reflection!! the tension of what you want vs. what you think you deserve!! The guitar plucking at the start every time makes me go AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and the way she jumps up and down in pitch or whatever in the chorus??? WOOOOOOOO THATS THE GOOD SHIT. 

the title track really grew on me (and i have supplanted the fairly obvious subject with someone else that suits my taste so i have a ball listening to it. i won't say cuz people are fucking weird on here about deviating from the ~truth~ for their own personal enjoyment but my buddies know and we all agree it makes it so much more fun). I love the melodic way she sings on this song, and it's my platonic ideal jack production, where it's imitating that 80s emotional garbled synth a la new order or erasure or the cure. i eat that shit uppppppp. that final bridge/ring situation though is..... not great and is only saved because of how the way she sings it and how it tickles my brain.

THE BLACK DOG!!!!!!!!! THE. BLACK. DOG. HELLOOOOOOOO WHAT A TUNE WHAT A SONG WHAT A SPECIFIC GIFT FOR ME. literally the starting line lyric gets me every time like WHAT A NICHE EMO BAND NOBODY KNOWS HUH. fun fact, at my moms house recently i found this framed school assignment from when i was like 14 or 15 or something. we had to do a mock front page of a newspaper as an icebreaker activity, you all know what i mean if you know what i mean. And under the music section i put "I love to listen to The Starting Line and The Killers" like askfjalskjfsadklfj. taylor clearly wrote this song about me and sorry i did all that i guess, but you can keep stalking me it's fine.

Clara bow of course absolutely incredible closer, incredible song that i've waxed poetic about several times already so i won't bore you with repeat rants. just a stunner. a curtain close of a closer as the crowd jumps up for a standing ovation.

Aaron on this album.... my guy..... WHAT a showing from someone who has jumped aboard the taylor ship and steered it into incredibly rich directions!!! i think most of my picks for My Version of this album are aaron songs, and even when i thought it was a jack song and i was ready to congratulate jack on finding a sweet spot again..... oops it was aaron ajsdlfkdsfjlkdsjflsd. THE GUY!!! THE DUDE!!! LETS HEAR IT FOR UPSTATE NEW YORK!!!

NET NEUTRALS:

album proper is very solid and fun to jump around! it took me a few listens to really dig into it, but i like it. i don't think i love it, and i think it's a middling ranking somewhere in my ranking overall. Also, I don’t think the order is particularly important, as none of these songs really need to go before or after one another as they have little to do with each other. Which is neutral, and how honestly most albums are, and I'm pretty fine with how it is now . And anyway, play through-concept albums are rare and specific but a different beast than your standard album. I’m fine with how it is because I listen to different songs in different orders each time depending on my mood. but i'm also not interested enough in the subject matter to play around with it too much. I think the album proper is a good distillation of this project's songs with a little bit for everyone in there, which to me is a marker of success, even if i would swap some anthology songs for album proper songs.

I’m not invested in her romantic life anymore, and i've noticed that seems to be one of the top complaints or roadblocks to enjoying this album, which is understandable. Especially when this one is incredibly unsympathetic, as is the sentiment writ large (and if I did care about her personal life, I would have those same roadblocks so lol). But I don’t think her diaristic songwriting is overdone or she needs to hang it up, which i've seen some people complain about. I think at this point, her choice in subject matter is what is key to the success of it. Her love life in a 2024 social landscape is yes comparatively straight, white, privileged, and because the romantic lives of people in that demo have been begun to be de-centered in culture over the course of her career, it’s now boring and rote, and we've had centuries playing out the cyclical drama of straight, white, and privileged people. But rather, her fame is what really is worth writing about imo. that’s what’s juicy about her now and what people wanna know, if she’s going to trade on personal details of her life as song fodder. She’s in such rarified air and songs that delve into how she feels about it are the best on this. what it has done to her? what has it driven her to do? The longer she spends in this machine, what does she decide is most valuable? What is worth it and what isn’t? What did she think would change and what did she think would stay the same, and which of those things was she wrong about? I love hearing about all the answers to questions like that on this album, and also answers to questions I had that she perhaps gave away unknowingly and quite…. Unbecomingly but still delicious none the less. Where we usually get one or two songs about fame per album, she has a nice handful on here and it’s so curious to me, especially considering she wasn’t raised among it. She’s an avatar for the common man in Hollywood in some ways, but losing touch with the common man more and more each day and I love seeing that documented, and how she has a self awareness about that, if no idea what to do about that. if she’s now the monster we made her, I wanna get to know that monster in all it’s ugliness and vindictiveness and whatever else lurks in there, and it seems she too is tired of caging it.

CRITICAL:

i loathe the anthology concept, mainly in how quickly she dropped it. i think the album proper is solid and dropping all those additional songs lowers the batting average significantly, as noted in many critical reviews of the album v. the anthology. I personally chalk it up to her experience with the vault tracks' success, which she mistakenly took as ALL of her songs are great and she should cut LESS of them. when the reality of that was they were received with such excitement because they had the lore of being vault songs, and they were ways for us to revisit eras of her musical styles that have long since passed, and there is IMMENSE novelty in nostalgia. I also think that if she pays attention to middling or negative reviews both from critics and fans alike (which i don't think tree puts on her desk, but she might seek it out for whatever temperature check reasons she has so i won't rule it out) she would have seen how midnights' "bonus tracks" or whatever you want to call them were received pretty unanimously as a great batch of songs, compared to polarized reactions to the album's original songs. perhaps that inspired her to approach her album release this time around by throwing spaghetti songs at the proverbial wall of an audience and seeing what sticks. i don't know if this is.... a bad approach? I don't feel great about it either, but it certainly is interesting coming from someone sooooooo meticulous in every other instance of her Taylor Swift brand in recent years. (or maybe she really did think every single song on the anthology was worthy, and that is perhaps my greater fear).

all jokes aside, I don’t actually think her and jack’s relationship has run its course in terms of inspiring one another to do new and exciting things, I just think perhaps some editing is required. I’m firmly of the camp that it’s not jack’s fault for something sounding how it does, as most people who work with him are quick to take offense to that and say that he very much is an employee as a producer. The artist is always the boss. Of course lesser artists or ones who are more friendly with him may be less honest, because of intimidation/gratitude or fondness respectively, but on the whole, it seems like he is at their mercy and will. And has the range to make music across many genres and composition styles. That being said, I do think there is a comfort in him and Taylor’s working relationship, of course because of their personal one, and that perhaps has become a bit of a hinderance to her. (He continues to make incredibly wide ranging stuff with other artists and his own music, so he stays pushing himself and being pushed) I don’t think what they make is bad, when it’s the least successful, but it’s a tad rote, heavily trodden, and flat. Perhaps the flatness in her voice on some of those songs is her trying to compliment an instrumental that is a bit flat, which is trying to keep pace with her vocals that are flat, and so on and so forth and there is no culprit but just two flat bitches saying exactly to each other. But it’s extremely frustrating if only because we have, on this album even, examples of when they both really blend beautifully and push towards something unique and exciting (Broken Heart, Black Dog, imgonnagetyouback to name a few). I would just like to see more development of sounds like that and exploration of that more boldly, as even those songs dance at the edge of progressing stylistically, but ultimately shy away from fully embracing something new.

it’s very interesting that this album does not have the same retention that her other albums have had with me, at least not instantly or in the weeks after. And what I mean by that is songs are not getting stuck in my head that much. I do not want to revisit them immediately after listening to them, and when I do, some of them have somewhat diminishing returns. And I asked myself why that is and the greater existential question of what is music supposed to be. And I think midnights is a great album to compare to this album and maybe history will make sisters of these two albums, it’s too soon to tell, but with proximity as something to inspire comparison, I think they’re great to talk about in conversation with each other. Midnights is an album that many critics and many longtime Taylor Swift fans did not enjoy to the degree of her others, and some new fans who came to her during folklore were turned off by her returned to pop in a way that some felt was empty. But what is interesting about midnights is despite the fact that the rich text isn’t really there or well articulated or particularly inspiring, the bangers are there to be so crass. Songs like antihero and bejeweled and even karma every time I would return to them or listen to them again I could not get them out of my head. Even though the lyrics are next to nothing or are the simplest versions of those concepts, the marriage of the lyrics with the melody is perfect. I wanna listen again, I get them stuck in my head, I wanna dance to them. Very little of that is on this album currently, even with songs I like or love. There are songs that I enjoy more with each listen, yes, and chew on lyrically and composition wise, but the bangers are not here, not like they have been in the past. if midnight was her putting bangers over substance, this album is her putting substance over bangers. I don’t know if either of those things is the right way to make music, or if there is a right way to make music.

This gets into the existential question that is far beyond her, and not her responsibility to answer, that is what purpose does music serve as an art form. What metrics of success do we measure it by, obviously charts and financial success not being competent measures for art? And should music, which is perhaps the most populous and accessible form of art we have on planet earth because of the universality of a banger, maybe err on the side of bangers as enjoyability is it’s main purpose? Which is to say that should it always put the song over substance? If you can manage both, which she has historically been able to do time and time again, then by all means do so. But if you find yourself wanting to choose between the two, in the aftermath of this album I think my personal feeling is this. If you’re gonna write poetry, just write poetry, but don’t tell me that it’s a song if it doesn’t bang. And I don’t mean that it has to be a pop song, I am being a bit glib. I mean that I should want to listen to it. wordiness and any flow disruptions because of it should not take priority over the fact that it it a song and it should be pleasing to listen to, more so than it needs to be poetic. This album is a bit indulgent in the latter and i feel the songs that couldn't bend to the will of the "poetry" suffered. I think that’s ultimately what makes this album so easy and delicious to talk about because it is forcing us to ask these questions. Not just of music in general, but of Taylor Swift who, in a lot of ways, is a microcosm of the music industry. No I don’t mean that ~she is the music industry~ silly way that people refer to her. But I mean in the way that Taylor is a good case study in asking ourselves what we want from music because she is capable of all of the things that music is capable of. Even further, it’s us asking ourselves what we consider to be successful music. I recognize that this is an incredibly personal question for everyone in the sense that the success of music and art is a subjective opinion and that I am once again wading into waters where my feet don’t touch the ground but I do think it’s what makes talking about all of this so fun and why I find it to be an engaging and important and stimulating debate that we will probably have for eternity, or at least as long as Taylor Swift keeps making music. 

[conceptalbummultiverse]

Shipping Questions: Zink

Extremely self-indulgent post but if I can't talk about my OTP on this blog, where can I talk about them? I filled this out a long time ago and figured it might be fun to post it. Just look at it as an excuse to share headcanons about my OTP by answering questions.

SFW Questions

Which one sexts like a straight white boy?

Texting doesn't exist in the time that these characters know each other… but I feel like Pink would be really, really bad at it because it takes him a while to feel comfortable expressing those kinds of feelings, even to Ziggy. Alternately, Ziggy would do it purposefully to annoy Pink. (I feel like that's going to be a recurring theme with these questions, haha.) If he put in the effort, he would actually perfect the art of sexting and it would drive Pink wild.

Which one cried during a fucking Disney movie?

Even though Pink is generally the less emotional one, I can see him doing this. Ziggy is sometimes too aware of his own emotions and the excitement of experiencing something that moved him emotionally can supersede the actual emotional reaction.

Who put a goddamned fork in the microwave?

Ziggy did it once just to see what would happen. What happened was a very broken microwave and a very angry Pink, who sent him out to buy a new one. However, Pink later forgot to remove his fork when microwaving a meal, and Ziggy never let him live that down.

Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes “Guess who” thing?

Ziggy does this to Pink even when they're the only people in the room. He doesn't do it much though, because it freaked Pink out the first time he did it.

Who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner?

Both of them get cold easily, so they both like to cuddle. But Floyd especially likes it.

Who had that embarrassing Reality TV marathon?

Ziggy has an addictive personality and, because of the way his brain works, he only needs to try something once to get hooked on it. So, if it existed at the time, Ziggy would get totally sucked into some MTV crap and binge-watch for days until Pink reminded him to get some sleep. If games like the Sims existed at the time too, Pink would have to keep Ziggy away from it because otherwise he would never see Ziggy again.

WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON?

You'd think it's Ziggy, because he's physically smaller than Pink, but it's Pink. He just loves being held, what can I say?

Who in your OTP gives the other nicknames ironically, and who uses nicknames seriously?

One day Pink was talking to someone, and he off-handedly referred to Ziggy as "Zigzag." He didn't even realize what he'd said until the other person commented on it, and immediately he was MORTIFIED, although the other person thought it was adorable (and Ziggy found it even more adorable when he heard about it).

Who throws popcorn into the other persons mouth?

Pink and Ziggy have perfected a routine based around this, where Pink will alternate between taking a handful of popcorn for himself and then tossing a handful of popcorn into Ziggy's mouth piece by piece, super nonchalantly. Anyone who witnesses this is torn between finding it cute and weird.

Who falls asleep in the car, and who drives carefully not to wake them?

Pink would usually be the one driving, because Ziggy is a speed demon, but Ziggy can't fall asleep on any moving vehicle because he's very sensitive to the vibrations. So even if Ziggy went to sleep while Pink was driving, it would be for five minutes at most.

Who kisses first? Who wants to be kissed first?

Pink always wants to be kissed first and yet he never kisses first! That's one thing that Ziggy would gradually help him feel comfortable doing after they get together.

Who tells the other person how shitty their jokes really are?

Ziggy and Pink are both great at sarcasm and dry humor, but here's the thing- neither can genuinely tell a joke to save their lives. So if Ziggy makes a pun at Pink, Pink would roll his eyes and not even bother to come up with anything in response because he knows he'd fail. They manage to make each other laugh, though, and that's all that matters.

Who talks about things they like for hours, and who listens, even though they find it so, so boring?

Ziggy is more talkative, so he would do this. Pink could listen to Ziggy talk forever.

Who decides what to watch on TV? Or is it just endless fighting and ripping the remote control out of each others hands?

They wouldn't really watch TV at all, again because Ziggy is too susceptible to getting sucked into it and also because Pink relies on it too much to block out heavy emotions that he wants to avoid. But if they did, I'm sure neither one would care enough to fight over what they watch.

Who sings the Sharpay parts and who sings the Ryan parts while doing High School Musical duets?

Ziggy is gifted with a naturally wide vocal range, so he would be able to do Sharpay's parts with no problems.

NSFW Questions

Who is louder?

Ziggy.

Who is more experimental?

Ziggy considers himself open to trying anything. Within reason, of course.

Who takes more risks?

I don't really understand this question, but I feel like Pink might as he grows more confident being with Ziggy.

Who laughs more during sex?

Ziggy laughing during sex is my CRACK. <3

Do they fuck or make love?

Why not both? Different situations call for different approaches.

Lights on or off?

Pink prefers them off, but he's willing to have a lamp turned on so he and Ziggy can still see each other.

Who is more likely to be caught masturbating?

I feel like Pink would. And if Ziggy was the one catching him, it would basically be the start of a porno.

Who is more likely to suggest a threesome?

Ziggy, because again, he's willing to try everything (and he enjoys threesomes!), but he wouldn't do it if he and Pink were together because Pink gets jealous and also if they were committed to each other, Ziggy wouldn't care about being with anyone else.

Has either stolen the other’s underwear?

No, but that sounds like a thing Ziggy would do just to be a little shit.

Who comes first?

They usually do all they can to finish at the same time. Ziggy is probably more likely to do it, but he wouldn't want to until he knows Pink is satisfied.

Who is better at oral and who prefers it?

Ziggy prefers it, and yet, Ziggy is better at it.

Who is more submissive?

I'd say they're about the same level of submissive (which is to say they'd be switches if anything, I can't see either of them preferring one over the other).

Who usually initiates things?

Pink. After getting together, Ziggy would be a bit too sensitive to Pink's issues at first and he wouldn't want to make any kind of move because he wouldn't know if Pink would be okay with it. So he'd wait for Pink to initiate their first time, and in general he'd tend to let Pink initiate.

Who is more sensitive?

Physically speaking… probably Ziggy, but both are fairly sensitive.

Who has the most patience?

The bedroom is pretty much the only place that Ziggy is patient.

Which kinks do they share?

I honestly can't think of any kinks they'd indulge in. I don't see Pink as being into that, since he would view sex with Ziggy as a bonding experience rather than being driven by lust for him or wanting to try something new together, and as much as Ziggy enjoys playing around and experimenting, he's obviously not going to force someone to participate in a kink they're not interested in (plus I don't think he'd view Pink in that way anyway).

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi! I see that since you mentioned match ups are open people have eagerly hopped in. I honestly don't blame them since you're so good at it. It's really fun reading everyone's match ups so I wanted to give it a go too! I wanted to avoid mentioning or comparing characters to avoid influencing the results but like simplifying a person's personality is hard so I'm just gonna roll with it, lol.

In terms of personality, I'm an introvert but that doesn't mean I'm shy. I can be (I have, like, 3 different anxiety diagnosis) but usually I'm generally low energy and relaxed. Very deadpan. So much so much so that people tend to laugh even when I'm being serious. I'm a Taurus and I find the description very much fitting. I take pride in being pragmatic, grounded, down to earth. I like taking care of people in a more realistic way (and just in general). In spite of seeming calm or blunt I'm actually really sensitive and emotional (although I'll never show others my vulnerability). I always try to consider the other person's feelings which is why I'm often called kind and considerate. A good listener. I'm quiet so that comes with the territory lol. I generally don't like to talk about myself and will only say something if asked/spoken to first. In simple terms I'd say I'm a weird mix of Jumin(practical, decisive, analytical) and V(emotional, sentimental, self sacrificing). I always end up getting the most hearts from them when I respond honestly especially Jumin haha. One last thing for me is that along with my millions of anxiety disorders(including paranoia so I heavily relate to Rika and Saeyoung) I also have ADHD(I guess *also* like Saeyoung lolol). As I'm sure you can tell by now I don't have the one that makes me bounce off the wall. I believe the one I have is called inattentive and it makes me a total space cadet. But I was very imaginative and creative so I think it was good trade off? I'm pretty sure my mom thought child me was a plant because I was so quiet and still. Never cried that much and was an "easy" child except when she had to coax me to do things. Then I was stubborn lolol. Definitely a Taurus haha.

For work and study, ever since I could hold a crayon I've been drawing and art has always been my focus. In public school I'd pick the all the art classes and I'd even take outside classes during summers off and when I grew out of that I'd do self study with books and online tutorials. I do illustration and graphic design and my major in college was visual communication design (which is a wordier way to say graphic design). I got my associates but sadly had to drop while doing my bachelor's (would love to get a master's and study art forever but it's just a dream for now). Currently, I work as a bakery clerk part time until I can get a better job but I like it. I like seeing people's faces light up saying "SO PRETTYYY~" when they see our cakes. I do a little bit of everything so bread bagging, baking, set up, orders, cake decorating. It's very well rounded job where I'm breaking a sweat and feel like I'm earning my dollar while also having creative input. I like giving the customers advice for their get togethers and parties. It's nice. I'd like to one day have my own brand and put myself out there as an artist but for now this is fine enough.

When it comes to hobbies I feel like it's on the nose cause I like to be creative and have my hands moving. The obvious is drawing (both digitally and traditionally. Love using soft chalk pastels) and baking but I also like more crafty hobbies like crocheting and scrapbooking. I'm a big stationary nerd and I love collecting paper, notebooks, stickers/washi taped, pens/pencils, ect. Been into watching bookbinding vids. I also have the more typical hobby of listening to music, reading (big book nerd put me in a book store I'll leave with a tall stack), big gamer nerd.

Some other miscellaneous info about me is my favorite color is green 💚. I generally like deep earthy, natural colors but I also like gentle pastels like pink and lavender. I'm a big dog person and I dislike cats. I'm actually afraid of them and they cause me a lot of anxiety. I would never cause trouble for them and I hope they are homed to people that genuinely adore them. I just don't jive with them. I can and have taken care of them in a pinch. I wouldn't let my personal stuff cause them harm. I definitely understand and relate to dogs more. I want to grow old with a bunch of pups to take care of lol. I don't want kids so cute puppers will do. I have hazel eyes and rusty red hair. When I was younger my hair was much brighter yellow orange compared to Saeyoung but as I got older it turned into a deeper, darker rust red. I also have freckles all over. My favorite shape is stars! I love astrology and magic and whimsy (again such a contrast from how I present lolol ⭐)

Im more prone to forgiving and moving on and I found Saeran's AE really relatable. It brought up a lot of topics that were really important to me that I feel a lot of people overlook in stories about healing from abusive parents. I really can't hold onto my anger for very long and generally prefer to look at people for what they are and either work with them or move on. I don't like letting others take my time and energy which is why I'm "nice", or at least normal, to even people i don't like. I feel like being petty and angry all the time is draining. It's just my style of healing. On the contrary I find anger and yelling very triggering for me even from friends who I know won't hurt me or are speaking on my behalf. The antagonististic energy is just very uncomfortable. I prefer a gentle touch I can trust. Everyone is capable of getting angry, it's healthy and normal, but I prefer someone who's first instinct isn't to jump to anger but understanding. Makes me feel safe.

That's about everything I can think of. I don't normally think about myself so it's hard to write haha. Hopefully that all made sense. Thanks for taking the time if you see this. 😊

I match you with...

Jihyun!

Hear me out, I know this might sound odd, but you seem to fall into the same realm as his heart.

Don't take this to mean that you're self-destructive, it's actually that you're passionate and that this passion is what inspires you to be who you are. Even though it may not be a lucrative career to survive as an artist, you find a way to make it work, and in doing so, you don't sacrifice what helps you feel like you have artistic liberty. Not a lot of people have that opportunity, and it would be interesting to be close to Jihyun, wouldn’t it? He didn't give up on his dream of painting, he simply found something else to fill the void in his chest because his father made him believe he would never be able to make it. 

Seeing you be your most authentic self is a challenge to everything he's ever told himself. You're the kind of person who challenges him, because while you are similar, you are inherently different, as well. It's not a bad thing, it's something he welcomes, and he can't help but want more. 

He's not the kind of person who's going to jump to anger when something goes wrong. You don't have to be afraid of being in a conversation with him, especially not with the two of you are upset, because he has a level enough head to know that you need to take some time to breathe, and do whatever you need to do before you come back to the conversation. Nothing ever feels like it's going to explode when you're with him. It feels like you can overcome any challenge that comes your way. 

[sol-draws-sometimes]

20-24 inclusive and 44

Oooo hello Anon, you're a nosy-nelly, but that's fine cause I love to talk! Tho strap in cause this is gonna be a long one! Questions can be found here!

20: What I hate most about myself

Oof starting off on a downer. I'd say it's my passiveness. Which some may say is weird cause a lot of people would describe me as passionate and on the outside I do appear very organized. But I just have so many things I want to do, that I just don't. Like, I want to learn to sew, compose music, archery, read books, play video games, watch certain shows or movies, etc, but I just... don't. Yah part of it is that there's so much I want to do it's hard to pick one. And yeah I have ADHD, aka the "I can't do shit disorder," where executive dysfunction is my worse symptom. But even if I didn't have ADHD, I still feel like I'd be like this. Also, it's not just hobbies. I had flying ants in my room, and I told my parents about it, but then I stopped pushing them about it and I just sucked it up for serval months. Or I end up going to Community College because I put off applications until the last second, and I am currently really behind on transferring applications for my BA. Or I'm not as informed politically as I'd like to be because it's stressful to me, but then I'm not acting according to my beliefs which is also stressful. That's not to say I have no initiative. I taught myself cursive and how to touch type in middle school. I started posting my art on the internet, all of my art has been self-taught. I took my mental health into my own hands and hyper-fixated on mental health for years so that I could be in a better place. It's not good to be dwelling on the parts you hate about yourself, but I do genuinely believe it's trait about myself that I want to work on.

21: What I love most about myself

Okay, something more positive! Uh, people tend to say I'm a very bright person, or that I make their day and I'm glad I make people feel comfortable around me!

22: What I want to be when I get older

Okay here's the problem, I want to do everything yet I don't know exactly what I want to be(I'm literally only 19), but I do know the average person has multiple jobs/careers in their lifetime(rn google is saying 12), so here are a couple I know I want to do!

Teacher: I've always wanted to be a teacher since I was a kid, and while many people assume I want to be a music teacher, I'd honestly love to do any subject. Preferably STEM or History, tho being a music teacher would genuinely be fun I'd love to conduct a choir. I think rn I'm more interested in learning about the world than learning about pedagogy, but definitely a job I plan to have at some point in the future

Museum worker: My twin asked me if I'd ever considered working at a museum last year, and I'd never had but honestly it sounds like a perfect job for me! I love history and science, I could still teach people, and I love going to museums. Also, the behind-the-scenes research or archiving sounds very up my alley!

Archivist: Kinda related to the previous one since you can be an archivist at a museum, but idk it sounds like the type of work that my brain would vibe with. Organizing and researching stuff. Also, it's pretty cool to be able to work with primary sources of stuff, like that's so cool! And I get to preserve information so that down the line people aren't crying about how little information there is about [insert topic]. (also haha yah, yah I like tma, hardy har, shhhh, that isn't even one of the reasons, just a coincidence)

Scientist: Pretty vague term cause idk in what field but I know I've always liked science! For a frame of reference, I would probably doing some stem major if I wasn't a musician. I had finished my science course my second year of high school, I didn't have any science classes for two years. Then at the end of senior year, I listened to Stella Firma and there in b/w sections where they had a scientist fact check the show was so interesting and made me remember I liked science and it's actually super cool! I'm hoping that next year once I transfer, I'll be able to take steps to at the very least minor in Physics and start doing some STEM stuff. Tho tbh I'm just choosing physics cause I'm good at math and astrophysics/cosmology sounds very cool to me. But finding @a-dinosaur-a-day on Tumblr made me remember my dino phase in middle school! I'm less interested in learning about individual dinosaurs and more on the big-picture evolutionary side of things, but the schools I want to transfer to don't have geology majors and I prefer physics over bio. Also, paleontology is a neat combination of history and science! Tbh, I'm still figuring out what I want to do science-wise, but I know it's something that I'd find interesting as a job!

Choir/Band/Singer/Theater: I'm a singer but I don't want it to be my main job, job, since I'm never wanted to be a super famous, but I do like singing and I'm good at it, so I could always make money on the side. Also I've also preferred singing in choir than solo rep, so if I joined a travling choir or band with an emphasis on harmony(like abba for ex), I think that would be really fun as a job for a while. As far as solo singing, I prefer musical theater so I can see myself doing that for a bit(even if it is ensemble since I like that kind of thing), and who knows, I am intrested in writing some solo music, but I haven't really done that

Composer: I want to learn how to compose music but I haven't. Oddly enough, I am more interested in composing instrumental stuff than songwriter music, tho I do want to do that. Or compose musicals, especially one in Spanish, that would be so cool. Tho I'd probably have to work with a lyricist. Even if it's not my main job, I'd love to do it on the side

Sound Design: Now this one you can blame on tma. I listened to the Q&As where they talk about Sound Design, it's absolutely fascinating to me, plus, if I learn how to compose, both could work pretty good together!

Art: Idk if I want to be an artist for a job, but once I'm good enough at drawing, I'd love to do commissions, or if I learn how to animate, working on an indie animation project would be such a cool thing! Or do a comic! I'd love to do a comic, doesn't even have to be my story! Years down the line, after graduating, I want to go back to school and get some degree in art! Doesn't need to be from an expensive school, probably will be from some local college near me at the time. Not that you need one to be a professional, but I find I learn best in a school setting and it's something I'd love to do to improve my art!

Can't believe Rusty Quill has inspired two possible job careers I-

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Oldest to youngest! My older brother didn't grow up with me but we visted his house alot! Tbh, I'm closer to my niece than I am him. He's got some beliefs/politics I don't agree with and he can be intense sometimes, but generally I have a good relationship with him. I don't talk to him much tho. And he's homophobic, so yah, don't plan to be too close to him anyway. Next should be my other brother but he died when I was 4, and he was in Cuba so I have no memories of him, so neutral I guess. Things were pretty rocky with my older sister growing up but we're pretty good now! She's like the one "adult figure"(I'm an adult but you know what I mean) in my life that I feel the most comfortable around. Then my twin is the person I'm the closest to. Yah we bicker and stuff, and we do things that the other doesn't like, but overall I'm the most comfortable around her. I also feel like she's the person who understands me the most, I genuinely don't know how I would've been in middle school if my twin didn't exist. Idk if anyone remembers the scene in the season 3 final of Bright Sessions, but you know when Mark goes to Adam's room and they sit and silence and Mark is like"I know we both know what we're feeling but we should still talk about what happened" I feel like that's kinda my twin and I. Anyways, I love my sisters very much!

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

Kinda rocky and I don't want to get into it too much but they're immigrant parents™. However, for literal boomers, they're actually pretty good. I'd say they're good parents but there's alot about them that frustrates me. Also living with them makes problems exacerbated. They're trying their best to understand me, but they don't and I don't feel comfortable talking to them about my problems with them. I'm also not out to them, so there's always a part of me they're not really seeing. But when it matters they're there. And they've been pretty supportive of me being in the arts. My dad was also pretty present in my life, which sucks that I have to specify, but I do.

44: A random fact about anything

There are two versions of the Latino dub of Sleeping Beauty and people fight about I think. I grew up with the 2001 ver but people prefer the original 1959 dubbing. My preliminary stance on this without having seen the full 1959 dub and only some clips is that the Queen's acting is better in 1959, but the songs are bettered dubbed in the 2001 version(suck it up nostalgia is winning)

Okay, that was a lot! BUT, there are more questions so ask away!

[folklauerate]

Just checking in

I know you write for you and we get to enjoy it, as you follow your muse and not anything else. But wanted to check in in case you get more asks about certain fics and it grates more than you wish it did.

Hope you are good ❤️

(Sorry if this felt inappropriate/intrusive)

This isn’t inappropriate or intrusive at all, it’s very sweet and thoughtful :,) thanks for checking in!

I do feel bad, because I do, to a certain extent, also write for you guys! Like it’s very very very sweet to me that people are even interested in what I write and like to read it, I’m very grateful for that! I think I have said that I write for myself more so to mean that I try to make sure that I’m creating from a place I’d love/fulfilling myself creatively first, and making sure that it’s writing that’s borne out of love and creation and not out of writing for the sake of… whatever. Like I’m never writing something because I want to get a certain amount of kudos and comments or something, ya know? Because it’s a tricky trap to fall into and it’s bad to compare yourself to other writers, or even to write something because you think it’s what “other people” want to see, because then the writing doesn’t ring true, and it’s so evident to me when it doesn’t, and it just makes me disappointed in myself :/ So I try to ensure that when I’m writing, it’s coming from a place of feeding my soul first, so that there’s love imbued in the work.

That being said, I do still care what you guys think because, well, I’m a human and a people pleaser haha. I do try very hard not to let a certain response overwhelm me or make me feel bummed if something I post doesn’t get the response I thought it would, because, again, that’s just a straight path to being detrimental to my own mental health, so I’ve been trying to refocus my writing and my approach to it to be more centered around myself. But I do still care if you guys like something or not, and I love to discuss fics here and on Twitter and stuff, and it’s so very flattering to hear that you guys are eager for more. I apologize for not being the sort of writer that puts out an update every week and taking ages sometimes to update fics. Real life can be a lot and writing is not always easy, and I’m doing my best but I truly do get that it’s frustrating. I appreciate you sticking with me!

I will say some of the response to the infidelity fic was a little confusing to me at first, as I feel like I wrote it as a character study, but some folks really seemed to want alternate POVs just to get some angsty smut lol so then it feels a bit cheap, idk how to put it 😭 I am in no way positing that I’m reinventing the literary wheel with my fanfiction writing, or that it’s high art and should be treated as such, but it felt weird I won’t lie. Even when I write smut I like to ensure there’s a real reason for it to occur within a story, that there’s a real emotional undercurrent and journey we go on with the characters. I think sex is an important part of relationships and our own experiences with the world and it can be used to convey different things and I like exploring it in fic and using it to compliment my writing, not to get clicks or eyeballs or hits. So that was a bit of an odd response to the infidelity au, was just some comments and stuff asking for “those scenes.” I get it though. People aren’t necessarily reading fanfiction for art or a character study or a meditation on morality; they’re looking for an escape! It was just unexpected is all lol.

To really finally answer your question; I’m doing okay! I’ve talked with some friends and I’m not pushing myself one way or the other about writing a follow-up pov or not. I also don’t think I’m a fic writer with a huge following or anything (for multiple reasons; I have irregular updates, and because I write a lot of modern day AUs in a show/book fandom that’s set in regency and people don’t like that; and I don’t do a lot of gratuitous fluffy post-canon regency stuff that’s really popular, just to name a few) so it’s certainly not like I’ve got an ask box or anything flooded with people asking for x updates, but anytime I get a larger than normal response to something I always get a bit skittish, I suppose. To be fair, I never think anyone more than say five people are ever reading my work, which is not an accurate estimate at all, but in my head it’s usually just my friends and then I count myself lucky if it’s anyone else lol 😭 my brain can’t really wrap my head around the amount of people who read my work sometimes, and tbh I don’t think human brains are meant to comprehend that lol.

I’m not even entirely sure I answered this question but I do appreciate you so much for checking in and reading my work and caring <3 I appreciate each and every single one of y’all! Love you very very much <3

[xo8ball]

woah i think its been a year since i started suspecting (and identifying) that i have autism, and i feel. glad.

I remember having this horrible, horrible breakdown about not knowing what was "wrong" with me. Nothing ever was wrong with me, i was just different. I just had some things and didnt have some other things, and that made me human and normal, just not like my peers, and i still can and should fit it and be accepted.

Though, this was the longest journey of self acceptance, i've always had a big problem with my own self id, so self dxing was something im always scared of because (by my therapist's words.. yeah i got really mad at that) "my anxiety makes me absorb traits i search up, so i end up believing things that i am not part of or even experienced". Which is totally not true all my whole life i've been the weird, quiet, excellently academic, nerdy, lonely, socially inept queer kid and because i was raised a girl and im "high functioning" (bad label) nobody ever tried to think a little to why i am experiencing bad burnouts in my high school years about social life.

I've always thought autism was a weight, and i kind of still think its heavy on my shoulders. Its not an easy thing to say, for me, that i have autism. its a harsh word in where i live, and other autistic people that my peers know are "low functioning", so they think its dumb comparing the same traits we share because we both have autism, it just expresses differently .

I do have friends and a loving partner, i like to talk and sometimes do a nice small talk, i go to parties (not frequently) and see my family (very frequently). but i get burnouts, i get isolated, i hate ugly specific noises, i get sensory issues, i bond better with individuals with the same characteristics as me, or children, or animals, i have special interests that keep me very happy and talking for hours, im "weird" and say things out of context or un-needed, i have gastrointestinal problems too if that matters (haha), i cant socialize correctly because i show disinterest in some activities, im good at school but i cant function correctly without drawing the whole class because it helps me paying attention while eliminating the art from my brain (last year i got the 2nd place in highest academic score in my class, by drawing the whole year.), i zone out and get uncomfortable by eye contact or physical touch i have not asked, i stim and enjoy repetitive behaviors, i have to listen to my music alone once a day to charge my social battery. i have autism, i am autistic, and im on the spectrum, and i live and breathe and exist because i am human too.

this counts as a vent right? I'll keep on crochet (new interest 🧶)

[airanke]

Nah, I understand where you're coming from, you explained yourself well -- and I'm really sorry the reason is so awful and sad. Losing characters we love is always super difficult, especially when we put so much of ourselves into them. I totally understand the fear, as Dabi is my intense emotional support blorbo. Ironically, I had a character kinda like that in WoW, though he was a much smaller character. I got wildly attracted to Putress in BC when I was a wee little lass playing WoW for the first time (I admit it was very shallow - I love undead and the warlock tier they put him in was and still is my favorite and it was SO GOOD) and I promptly sat about writing a bunch of stories featuring his character and my own. Come WotLK, suddenly he had a much bigger and cooler role than just as a plague investigator man. Which was so cool! And then, uh, they killed him. I'm usually pretty damn good at just existing in my own head and ignoring canon, but it did get to be pretty hard. I feel like losing a character like Vol'jin would be much worse, considering he actually had some like... y'know, development! So: all the condolences. ): It makes me sad to imagine you stopping with your stuff, cause I really enjoy it. I love seeing people embrace the whole canon x oc thing so much -- but I also know how hard that can be when we're at the whims of other creators. I'm really sorry you're having a bad time of things, and hope you can find some peace and happiness -- and that your cool WoW AU treats you well!

Hrrr yeah I think that's the hardest part for me right now - like it almost makes me wish I wasn't so invested in the series as a whole, then it would make ignoring the canon easier haha! It was really weird to me to fall for Dabi as hard as I did, I'm still confused about that to this day 😂he's the only reason I have any interest in BNHA.

Oooh man, Putress was amazing!!! (Listen, undead + warlock + THAT WARLOCK TIER = G O L D so I DO NOT BLAME YOU for your attraction to Putress <333 also HIS VOICE??? //swoon).

God yeah, WotLK would have been such a hard hit :( I think Putress is like, one of the few "villains" that Blizz actually did right by, but damn. You def know exactly how I feel 😭Vol'jin was even worse cuz they ended up bringing him back (sort of) in SL, and it just made me? Angry? Because like... why'd you kill him off then if you were going to turn him into a Loa (I literally HATE IT).

Aaaaaa //// I'm glad you really enjoy it, I think a lot of my uncertainty too is affected by my RL right now (I'm surrounded by a lot of negativity esp at work - not directed AT me, just around me, which I absorb like a sponge).

I'm getting pretty far with WoW AU!!!! I'm getting a lot of the hardest stuff out of the way (aka: Lineart), I could talk about it for hours haha (BNHA x WoW = Air Has The Strongest Ideas). Dabi/Abi's inventories are SOOO stressful because of all the tiny details, but for now it's treating me well!! I'm about half-way through the line-art for Abiteth's druid forms, then I'll tackle Dabi's inventory, then probably start doing some spell sketches for him. I think if I get the line art done I could have it finished by either the end of March or April.

[normystical]

hrhrgrgrggr i wanna make an animatic of becky apples with certain hazbin hotel characters but i can't. and like even if i had the motivation this very second i do not have TIME FOR THAT so uhh might just spill my ideas all over here w/ altered lyric captions

husk . lucifer . ugh !! husk

i bet lucifer's got perfect hair [vox imitating sweeping hair back cuz he's a jealous and bald mfer lmfao]

husk. husk's got stupid STUPID [ears? claws? idk tbh but he doesn't have hooves so we're changing that lyric,,]

i'm never gonna eat another appLE EVER AGAIN!! [god have mercy on my mediocre art skills bc i will have to illustrate vox not only crushing an apple but with his clawed ass hands]

OO it reallt bunches my f luff to thrink how badly he hurtyou. bbg. tell me your story

[idk what to do with the lines "i left my rider so that i could raise an army (so that you could raise an army) then c-doug popped up and he said something alarming (oo, what'd he say?) he told me that my best friend's ridden (no!) another horse so pretty (no way!)" but i do want to have the latter two lines have charlie just talking about alastor and lucifer fighting all the time like haha those guys. those silly little rascals]

and his name is lucifer [morningstar/the king of hell/HIMSELF] because UGH of course it is !! !

lucifer lucifer whag a gorgeous famcy SCHMUCK luci how you like em apples cuz i think ur apples SUCK [naybe at that part i animate an apple pelted at luci just for shits and giggles itll be fun trust me] lucifer lucifer ggeues what i knew alastor first and while technically i dont know lucifer i know hes the WORST

ugh he is soo the worst vocks . right?? its unbelievable !! stupid luci. but can i tell you about someone whos,, kind of a total lucifer in my life? okay i—i mean im kinda not done being mad about lucifer bu—

WELL I WAS flirtin glirtin with a slick promstoar (this is not the same situation.) he was the finest spider femboy that i ever pursued (rhere was more than one??) he played me like a ukulele (he did.) i dont want no drama baby (too late?) but i FLIPPED when i found out his boyfriend was a wwinged cat guy idk how to change this lyric tbh sorry guys

oh that husk[er] that husk[er]s got stupid pretty legs and i bet that angel dust would let HIM adopt his eggs [cut to vox being horrifically confused and weirded out for half a second] hUsK [angel talking about him happily] HuSk [angel talking to him on the phone] hUsK [angel greeting husk at the door] HuSk [angel moaning his mame while getting fucked lmao get fucked val wait wut] UGH !! even his wings are perkier !!

maybe husk's flirty boyfriend is the one whos the ACTUAL jerk here... UGH!! husk!! making me feel bad for projecting my own insecurities and displacing blame on HIM, when HE really did nothing wrong? UGH. hes the WORST.

[vox clear he throat]

OH RIGht! ur sad :3

i feel ur pain girl, im ur vindicator, and we dont know husk, lucifer, we just know we hate him . this isnt okay and this isnt fiiiine

...let it out bbg

[vox drops his face into val's fluff as he sighs]

its just i thoughgt al,, would always be miine

ok spilling out my ideas FINALLY done jesus fuck this sucks when it's explained rather than imagined or animated lmao

[stars-tonight]

hi lovely!! i saw ur matchups on my feed & was interested in getting a long romantic one with a male (i am female & go by she/her pronouns!!) c:. im happy to be 🩰 anon if possible x

first a little bit about myself!! i am a relatively tall girlie (5’11) and do prefer someone taller than me or atleast equal heights (im sorry my short kings i still love yall) i am currently doing classes around digital & social media with an aim to become a social media manager for a company. ive always excelled in arts based subjects aswell as english however suck at anything maths/science related. i enjoy musical theatre alot aswell (its one of my main passions) and anything with a fun song and dance!! i also enjoy just going out with the people i care about spontaneously (walks, dinner, shopping, sitting in the same room in silence, etc.) but my downtime (mainly sleeping & reading) will always be my number one priority. as for how i look, as stated before im a tall girlie, brown hair, blue eyes, light freckles on my face that have faded over time & glasses ;p. i would say to describe my personality (im a libra & isfp if that means anything to u aswell haha) i am the kinda of person who can be loud & obnoxious around my friends but will not talk to anyone without them. i also tend to need to feel in control otherwise i freak out. i also tend to distance myself when i get overwhelmed (happens more than id like to admit) so id like someone who can combat that :p. i am a self proclaimed funny person (unsure if that’s completely true) but i love to make people laugh & smile!!my love language is definitely gift giving & quality time :p

as far as my partner; i would like someone funny for sure with the same kinda humour as me, loyal & someone who isnt overly clingly bc despite how deeply i care for my friends/family/partner my me time is so important. i am not a very picky person tbh i just need someone who understands me and can take the time to understand me & who i am as a person & i can talk abt my weird goofy lil interests around.

thanks so much im so excited :D!!

-🩰

headcanons

🥛 suna is lowkey obsessed with social media so it's perfect that you have a job in that industry

🥛 he is also like the king of downtime

🥛 on weekends you two could sleep until noon

🥛 you can read while he scrolls on instagram or whatever he has

🥛 if you end up getting him to actually read it'll probably just be like a webtoon on his phone lol

🥛 but he will willingly listen to your recommendations

🥛 maybe he'll give an audiobook a chance

🥛 i feel like suna is a very chill partner

🥛 if you're feeling down he'd give you just a big hug, maybe send you a nice song over text

🥛 he'll let you have your space if you need it but he'll always be there for you

🥛 whether it's with a hoodie, some food, or a hug

🥛 i think his giving love language is most likely physical touch and quality time

🥛 you could just spend hours together in bed, doing your own thing, as long as he's got his hand on you somewhere

🥛 NOT in a dirty way!! he just wants to always be holding your hand

🥛 i almost feel like suna is just too lazy to date for fun

🥛 you'll have to work to get him to dance with you

🥛 but he'll always be down to just watch you sing or dance

🥛 he doesn't talk much but he'd love to listen to your little rants

🥛 thinks you're so cute when you talk about what makes you happy

🥛 secretly records you while you do this

🥛 suna 100% has a photo album of you on his phone

🥛 he LOVES taking photos of you

🥛 his phone background is a photo of the two of you

🥛 he has polaroids in his room of the two of you

🥛 when he's away for volleyball games, he pulls his phone's photo album out when he misses you

🥛 he loves everything and anything you gift him

🥛 will take a photo of it if he can't bring it with him to games

🥛 i personally headcanon that suna just has a little drawer full of everything you give him

🥛 i can't imagine suna actually being good at STEM subjects (or any subjects, for that matter)

🥛 so you might have to get some tutoring from kita

🥛 suna will complain the whole way there and back

🥛 just another way perfect kita gets to show off

runner up for you was kuroo tetsurō!

A/N: i hope you liked it! i know this was out super fast but to me you just fit suna too well! i love him so much he'd be like my top choice for a partner

also i relate too much to the "i can do humanities but no STEM" ;-;

[theskyblog]

My favorite song from every album I've listened to as of 12/1/2023

Alapalooza Weird one to start with, it's hard to form a concrete opinion on a project I listened to with little to no care haha. I'm hesitant to call it my favorite but I really do like Young, Dumb & Ugly. It's kind of like a Good & Evil situation where my favorite song down the line ends up being the one I listened to the least when I initially discovered the album (Who You Are)

Scorpion Queen Your Name is one of my favorite songs ever made no questions asked. Still has some amateur-ish singing, but I empathize with that too much to get mad at it lol. I love this song, other songs are also great but this is the highlight. Also works well on the album that it got inserted into

Twin Fantasy Beach Life-in-Death is so damn good. What a track man, instantly quotable in so many ways, the song is a journey within itself. I remember when I had that week long phase of being super into this album, this song was the main catalyst. Drawing the cover and writing down the lyrics in my sophomore year art class on the tablets

The Big Day lol. Hot Shower is obviously super fun and quotable, but I don't like DaBaby's verse, which I know is backwards from what most people think. Do You Remember is also great, but All Day Long is my favorite. Cuz I listen to the big day all day long!!

Cojum Dip Nowadays it's probably Cell, but I have to go with Moon Waltz. My most listened to song last year, it's a perfect ballad that really deserves its spot of the album. I wish people didn't think it was the only good song though

Jinx The whole reason I love this album is because I listen to it in full, and thus blur the lines between tracks, making this a pretty tricky one. Maybe Ghostride

Ice Melt This album isn't as much as just one long song for me so this feels more fair. Trophy, probably. I think the one kid I hung out with freshman year liked that one, and we stopped talking because he got banned off discord. Anyway this one goes out to him

i think you think too much of me the only song I ever cared about was XO lol. it's a 10/10 song, regardless of it being on a 3/10 album

Aim and Ignite While kind of the black sheep of the album, it has to be The Gambler right? I would never put it on in a playlist, but what it does for me can't be done by anything else. Everyone always has a bias towards media that currently suits where they are in life, and the fact that this song is able to do so much for me while having literally nothing to do with me, is awesome. Not to say I don't like stuff that doesn't relate to me, but usually it needs to in order to hit quite this close to home

Now, Not Yet it's ARROW BABYYYY I love this song to death. Where would we be without arrowI discovered this song from it being used in an old Geometry Dash level https://youtu.be/tqhHj77kN2o?si=uePJzqrmzPyl-9Uw and really wanted to listen to the album. It might've been the first thing I listened to on my own, so it's important to me, even if I don't love the actual album lol

Sports If This Is It is an expertly crafted song. This is where Huey Lewis' 80's style music is at its best, sprawling vocals, slightly cheesey, and about love. Thank you huey

theskyblog was then shot dead, unable to finish this list.

[loregoddess]

Hm, maybe my memory is poor but I swear that I've seen you reblog Tolkien stuff (or maybe I'm mistaking it and it's all Legend of Zelda posts?)

But there I was talking as if you'd read the books or watched the movies!

I watched the movies so long ago that I forgot a great deal of them and I'm determined to finish the books before I re-watch them so that I can experience the whole original story of LotR without the film giving away the parts I'm still reading.

You'll find out more about Boromir in the first book and the very beginning of the second book. As for Denethor, he appears in the first chapter of the third book (and he had me just a little bit salty, to put it mildly.) You'll also see the Fellowship in all three books!

I'll be honest and say the only reason I have time to read at all is downtime at work and really long wait times for public transit. And I've only just recently began branching out from reading only Discworld to other books that I either read in high school or heard about but didn't get a chance to read yet. I'm keeping track of my reading on an app called StoryGraph, which lets you record start and finish dates and get recommendations based on what you've already read!

I mostly just use it as a reading diary of sorts. But if I ever get through my to-read pile (good luck, it's long) I might see what it recommends me. But even still, I usually go by friends and family's suggestions for any books that I might be interested in.

Haha, no you're right, I have reblogged LotR stuff. I have basically no fear of spoilers, if only bc I have been spoiled on stuff in the past only to not realize it was a spoiler and still get surprised when I reach it in the story anyhow (and also I think the weird culture of "no spoilers" is silly anyhow, bc like, sometimes the fastest way to convince me to look into something is to show me major spoilers that baffle me so much I need to figure out how a story could function to accommodate what I know out of context with the new knowledge).

But no worries, I totally get where the confusion came from. I know just enough LotR from osmosis that I can kinda hold a conversation about it. Your excitement for the stories does get me excited as well, and I really am looking forward to reading them when I can make the time.

Also I feel you on having free time to read things. I think that's part of my issue, is a lack of free time (or energy), but at some point I also developed this weird environmental thing where I couldn't focus on reading if I could hear human voices or if there was too much background noise of a certain type? Which, given that I still live with my family and they are all very noisy (and also assume that they can just start talking to me whenever if I'm sitting in plain sight, which is more or less everywhere where I like to sit to read), makes it hard to actually find the sort of quiet I need to read when I do have the energy for reading.

I used to be a voracious reader too, I was basically always reading a book from middle school through high school, sometimes multiple books. And I used to be able to read in the middle of a school's worth of noise, so I have no idea why all the academic reading I had to do in college messed with my reading habits so much. It's not that I haven't read anything--I made it through Dracula all on my own a year before Dracula Daily happened, just because I was interested in it and wanted to read more classics. And I've made my way through about a third of the complete works of Lovecraft, which are easier for me bc they're all short stories more or less (though I keep stalling reading the next story bc I know it's one of the "almost a novella" length stories). And of course, The Hobbit.

A lot of my free time is limited though, especially since I'm very particular about how things need to be if I'm to do something (which is partly the house situation, partly my brain is my own worst enemy sometimes). I often have to choose between art, video games, writing, general decompressing (i.e. interwebs), or watching something, and usually video games or art/writing win out if I don't need to decompress, because I can deal with being interrupted or ignoring outside noise when playing a game better than I can reading, and no one bugs me when I'm working at my computer generally.

Which hmmm. Actually, I think that might actually have more to do with it than anything, because now that I'm thinking on it I have read a metric ton of manga over the past several years, which I usually use various websites for (and am therefore at my computer). Granted, that's a slightly different storytelling medium than a text-based book, but considering I can finish a completed manga series in roughly a two-week span, I don't think my issue is with focusing on reading so much as it is getting interrupted or having too much background noise...hmmm.....

Well this was an excellent conversation actually, I think I might have figured out part of the reason my brain wants to strike when I do try to read, and if I can get to the root then I can maybe figure out some sort of workaround to trick myself back into reading text-based books again. Which is great, because I have so many books in my to-read pile, and I do want to check out the Discworld books at some point (which I've never read, but they are also books that I just know from out-of-context things that I will love), and I really do miss reading as a leisure activity. So, thank you for prompting this discussion!

[unboliviabell]

Hello <3

Welcome to my little planet within the ‘world wide web‘. On this planet we treat people with respect & kindness. I have the mouth of a trucker & the punctuation of a toad. If you’re not into that or weird stuff in general, feel free to exit this site now. No harm no foul xx

In this post I am attempting to give you an abridged version of my life, in hopes you join me along in my journey.

At the ‘mo’, I run my own online thrift store, ThriftAbell. I also have my own stamp collection/store called StampAbell as well as a podcast which I will EVENTUALLY publish. haha

To be honest I don’t know what I am doing with my life. I write poetry, love adventure, ironically getting my fingers dirty with soil and designing things that I never publish. I’m the girl you call for anything graphic design. I have a vision and I go with it, very rarely does anything go to plan or come from a rubric. These designs range from television show advertising, social media banners, to websites. I love making art. Yes, Ok! It’s mostly centered around me but hey, when the clients are a few, the A.D.D mind wonders and creates world of entertainment for oneself. I’m sitting on hundreds of unused designs that may make your mind explode or call me egotistical.

I am a very sensitive person with lots of empathy and sympathy. My goal is to create content for this blog that will include a little bit of everything. I jump from subjects very quickly, so thank God for post categories because one day you may read about my intestinal issues and the next you’ll see a recipe for cannabis malva pudding.

I am so grateful for how far I have come, not only as a Transgender woman but as a human in general. This blog will be a melting pot, a multiverse if you will, of my mind, which I call a planet. I will not talk down to you or at you, which is why you will see I type like a speak. This is merely a diary that happens to have an email subscription form.

Some Facts about me:

I have a collection of over 10,000 stamps

I enjoy watching tennis & local rugby but MUCH pefer to play tennis

In 2022, I’m turning 25, an age I have always been scared of.

My dead name is Matthew Nel, You may call me Livs

My mom was going to call me Alexander Nel, Making it  (A.Nel) cough cough.

I can create, fix and or break websites in under an hour

‘My’ dog max is my life

Fav food is Spiga Pizza

I was a shy kid, as an adult I am LOUD

I enjoy being single & having the entire bed to myself

From punny puns to marvellous Malvas to topics such as hormones and transitioning, join me as I discover more about myself and share my life with you. You never know what you’ll stumble across.

Xx O.A.

[icyowl]

Hello again! It’s me: the anon who asked that question about “Quiet Eyes”. I’ve been visiting your blog a lot lately (I hope that doesn’t sound weird lol 😓) bc I really like the posts you reboot or write that have writing tips/prompts. Writing is one of this things that I both hate and love 😩 but going through your blog tends to reignite my passion for it! Anyways, I wanted to ask: what got you into writing and if I could be 🌺 Hibiscus anon?

A NEW ANON?!?!?! AHTODFNVWRGLHN SSQQQUUUEEEEEEE!!!

I'm so happy you like the prompts! I always worry when I post or reblog stuff not related to fanfic because I feel like I should have sideblogs with dedicated themes like most people do rather than post fanfic/prompts/art/photography all in one chaotic place. Then again I share stuff mostly so I can go back through my own blog at a later date and it's all in one place, so, whatever I guess haha.

I'm so happy I ignite your passion! I gotta say, if you don't have a love/hate relationship with writing, you're not a writer. Like I hate how slow I write and that my ideas are usually just the same tropes with different characters and my WIPs constantly plague me and I don't know how clear my writing comes across to others and and and. . .

But I love how I can make anything I want by writing and I love how it can make people feel and I love how much work I put into making my writing better and so on, so yeah, I love and hate writing too!

Info-dumping below the cut haha

I got into writing when I was about 10 because I've always had a really active imagination and my dreams have always been very imaginative so I started by writing them down so I wouldn't forget them because some of them were pretty neat. Then I was like "I gotta add this to it, and this, and that" and that became my first word doc. Then I got really into the warrior cats series and created a storyline with my own characters, which I think had like 20-30 original characters and got to about 60 pages single-spaced on word, so that was my first fanfic!

Then writing became an outlet for the shows I got really into. I think bleach was one of the first?? One look at Renji and I was gone haha! I'd get little crushes on the characters and couldn't talk to anybody about it because my family and everyone at school made fun of me for watching anime, so I wrote to get it out of my system in a private way, and now I've evolved into having tropes I like and having (countless) WIPS and I've made a blog I'm proud of! I even recently discovered I kinda like a bit of whump, which has become its own journey since a lot of people think its weird and gross (I'm not even that bad, I only like cute whumpee-caretaker stuff, so).

Early on I came up with the philosophy that writing was like a superpower. If I write well enough, I can make people imagine and feel anything I want. I can make people fly and fall in love and never age and go to war and find peace. It's still pretty much just a creative outlet and a way I can put myself into the stories and with the characters I like so much, but I share my stuff in case anyone else would like to read them too.

Don't get discouraged. Write for yourself, not for others. Write what you want and when you want simply because you want to. When you don't want to write, then don't. That's why I don't really do requests and only post a new fic once in a while. It also means that I still write even when I don't get the number of likes or comments or reblogs I would like or anticipated. How much or how little interaction my blog or fics get isn't why I write, so it doesn't affect me that much. Sure I'd like to have 1000 followers and get asks like this every day, but I'm happy with what I've got. I hope you can be, too!

P.S. Just know that I'm saving this ask to remind myself that I have a positive influence on people for when I don't feel very motivated, so thank you for this