#i also need to figure out when to stop with the scene

[cuchufletapl]

I was rewatching the scene where Ekko is trying to stop Jinx from killing herself to get a better feel of her perspective during all that and:

She's looking at him as he talks about it not being too late to build something new, and then she looks down.

Focus on the cymbal monkeys lining the Z-Drive that AU Powder put in as decoration.

We go back to Ekko, who also looks down for a second before he says the bit about someone worth building it for, and when the camera focuses on Jinx again, she seems to still be looking down at the Z-Drive before her gaze flickers back up to his face.

How the fuck did this detail not stick in my mind before this rewatch. The monkeys have been her symbol since childhood — it's practically her signature as Jinx, since what set her on the path to become Jinx was a cymbal-monkey bomb and she spray-paints it everywhere, in every place where she causes mayhem. But given AU Powder's fondness for them too it's safe to assume that she used them often for her gadgets even before that. Gadgets that she'd surely show and make with Ekko because that's a hobby they shared as children.

Her eyes fixating on this detail, these little toys that are synonymous with her, at the same time as he's saying the words that convince her to give life another try. It's significant! It's her past and her present, her inventiveness, her trauma and her havoc-wreaking — and Ekko is carrying it with him. During his time in utopian Zaun, he fell in love with AU Powder again, yes, but he was also finally able to reconcile with the fact that Jinx existing doesn't mean that his Powder is dead, that Jinx didn't replace her, that she's a continuation of the girl he knew. The cymbal-monkeys inside his device that allows him to rewind time and try again and again: they stand for both Jinx and the two Powders, three versions of the same girl he's come to love.

So Ekko, in this scene, is not really asking her to change and fix her image like Vi did (which kind of takes me back to his conversation with AU Powder in front of the Vi mural, when she asks him, "You want me to change?" and he tells her no, that she's the kind of person whose ideas change the world and should allow herself to live to her full potential — because he's missing that part of her that's salient in Jinx, but that AU Powder is repressing). To her, his words sound like she doesn't need to die to break the cycle. No part of her needs to die. There are no chairs to choose to sit in anymore.

There's also a possibility that she realises that he's doing something weird with time. Every second of this conversation, every time she looks at him, he suddenly gets more disheveled and injured despite the grenade never going off (from her perspective) — she must notice that. She looks at that glowing gadget by his side with this added touch that is very much hers. And maybe she figures out that it was a version of her who put it there.

[evelynvipah]

I’ve been wanting to talk about how even Jinx is very ignorant, or just comes off as uncaring, to the extent of Vi’s trauma in regard to before her prison time and after. I’ve also always found it quite weird and unfunny how quick people were to make jokes and say that Jinx “clocked” Vi in the tunnels when they were searching for Vander and fought about what they were doing after all the time had passed.

Jinx has actively watched her sister lose herself for months without interference—with knowledge that she was thrown into Stillwater, facing things that Vi obviously isn’t going to be that vulnerable abt—knowing that they both share the intense childhood trauma of losing an entire family in one night, and still finding it within herself to make fun of Vi being passively suicidal is honestly horrible to me. Especially considering the position Jinx has nonstop been putting Vi in since they reunited. Yes, Jinx has been going through some traumatic things, but not once has she even stopped to think (that we’ve seen) of what her sister has been through for the past seven years. The guilt she must be harboring for things she should not have had anything to do with, or responsibility over.

There have been plenty scenes where Vi recounts bits and pieces of her experiences in Still and most times she not only downplays it for the sake of trying to help other people understand where her position on a situation is from, but goes unacknowledged. With Jayce, when she asks him if he knows what being trapped for days, months, or years in a stone box is like he changes the subject to talk about their plans to go against what the council thinks and be more active against Silco. And with Jinx, her own sister, it doesn’t go any further than Vi wanting to reassure her that she’s always been there thinking about her and hoping to someday find her way back. No one, even Ekko, truly tries to reach out to her in a way that validates her own trauma and how the many changes she’s been through so far is affecting her. It’s all about what she can do for them or what position she holds in their lives. And I don’t say that in a way of meaning that everyone should drop everything they’re doing to focus on her, but a little goes a long way. Vi speaking out about her own prison trauma in multiple conversations could be her subconsciously asking for someone to show her some support or care that she hasn’t been on the receiving end of in years. She’s Jinx’s family—her only family left really—and all Jinx does is constantly disrespect her and what she’s willing to do or put aside for her.

This is me ranting at 2am so it might not make much sense (needed to get this out here), but I really hate that Jinx says to her “I busted half of Zaun out of Stillwater while you were passed out in the bottom of a mug,” as if that makes her such a good and heroic person. Yes, Jinx doesn’t really feel like that, but for her to throw it in Vi’s face like the girl hasn’t been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders since she was a child is sickening.

Some may hate me for saying this but I really feel like so far the only person that has put more thought into Vi and what she’s ever gone through is Caitlyn. Caitlyn is the one who got Vi out of Stillwater and saw first hand her conditions. Caitlyn is the one that got to witness Vi’s world be turned upside down when she came back to Zaun and saw it’s all gone to shit. Caitlyn is the one that Vi told about Powder and her family and what it all meant to her. The amount of guilt and responsibility weighing on her shoulders over something she had no control over whatsoever. Being parentified by her own father figure and community, leaving her with no space to be a child. Caitlyn has stuck by her side when her sister was harming them directly too, seeing Vi as her own individual and not an extension of Jinx. Even when they separated, Caitlyn still managed to do some good thinking about Vi by forbidding the use of the cells on the lower levels of the prison because of how inhumane they were. To say that Vi had only known Caitlyn for such a short time, Vi had become Caitlyn’s everything real quick and I feel like it says something when compared to Vi’s strained relationship with Jinx. Or even Ekko, the only other person who would truly understand what Vi had been through and is still going through. Being the protector, being the savior, being someone that people feel can solve every last one of their problems. Jinx had a chance to really connect with Vi outside of saving Vander, and she chose to hurt Vi because she knew she could. She knew she wasn’t the only one with open wounds not even close to healing, and she couldn’t help but rub salt in the ones of her own sister to make herself feel better.

-rereading and this is all over the place but whatever loll

[showerthoughtsofagoldengoose]

why Okarun is a real g

-he was bullied and had no friends and somehow came out of it without any exceptionally strong feelings of hatred or resentment towards his peers.

Trust me as someone who has been in that position (minus the bullying) it is SO easy to hate everyone. From what I’ve heard we learn very little abt this character’s life but I’d assume he might have at least had a good upbringing to turn out like this. I did not so that might be part of why I literally despised everyone and became a bit of a femcel for a while…

-polite, puts others first.

Legit who doesn’t like someone like that? I see no need to even elaborate on this point.

-he respects women’s boundaries.

It’s so common for boys in shounen to be creeps and so seeing a male shounen protagonist who actually is decent towards women is really refreshing! Especially one from a show whose premise revolves around him losing his dick and balls! (The only other shounen I really like is chainsaw man which takes an incredibly nuanced approach to a perverted male protagonist, and I wouldn’t really call Denji perverted as much as he is horny, desperate, and a typical teenaged boy. He reminds me a little of my boyfriend when he was younger lol)

unrelated but even tho the “scenes” of creepiness in the show are kind of unnecessary (I think they’re there so turbo granny can come in clutch and save Momo from whatever is happening to her, since turbo granny’s whole schtick/initial redeeming quality is protecting girls from those kinds of threats. That and the series is batshit insane and needs ridiculous ways to get from point a to point b. I still see why people don’t like these scenes tho) it is kinda interesting to me that the most pervy fuck it I’m gonna use the real word RAPEY literal attempted sexual assault moments in the show seem to be used to make us dislike a character and view them as fucked up. (Allegedly they stop being used which thank God but I digress I’ve been talking abt them too long lmao)

the good guys in the series are like, actually pretty innocent. Aira looks at her dad’s porn to figure out how romance works, Momo and Okarun have this incredibly sweet and innocent romance, and don’t make it weird or creepy when they see eachother in a vulnerable position, Jiji is just a very close childhood friend of momo’s and while he might like her he seems to be pretty respectful and again, innocent. Have yet to meet the rest of the cast but I do hope to see this pattern of innocence continue.

I might also be reading into it too much idk

[zuko-always-lies]

Do you think that the betrayal at the Boiling Rock was done to give a reason for Azula's eventual breakdown in the finale? The more I think about it, the more Mai's anger towards Azula doesn't make sense to me. I know that people say that it's because Azula left Zuko to die, but if that's the case, she should have been angry with Ty Lee as well, since she also tried to stop them from leaving the prison. Also....they were chasing after Zuko and Iroh for the entirety of book 2, even though they kept on running into the Gaang and never actually came across Zuko and Iroh, and that was just Azula. Mai had zero issues with Azula's mission in the second season, and she already loved Zuko by that point. It feels like the writers just forgot about that.

So the thing to understand that in (well-told) narrative, everything happens for a reason. Everything serves a very deliberate narrative purpose. But perhaps we should take a moment to reflect on the differences between Book 2 and Book 3 characterizations before we go back to the Boiling Rock:

Book 2 Azula has some distinctive edges to her which shows the original ideas the writers had. She was consistently depicted as quite hostile to Zuko (this wasn't changed until the writing of the last episode of the series, when the writers realized that they needed Zuko to go home). She was depicted as using fear to control soldiers in a military context, including Ty Lee, but never as using fear to force or substitute for personal relationships. Azula was depicted as mean and cruel(and I believe she was originally supposed to be crueler and more merciless than she ended up being, but it ended up being scrapped as too dark). However, she was also, aside from maybe one scene, was depicted as stable and mentally put together well. Finally, Azula was never depicted as sympathetic in Book 2, and we can't be certain of what the original intentions in this respect were.

Book 2 Mai also has a couple interesting characteristics. First, she was consistently written as not being afraid of Azula. Second, the seed that she had a crush on Zuko was clearly planted. However, since Zuko was never supposed to "go home" in the original outline, it's not clear how this might have flowered, and it's possible the writers didn't know either.

Now let's move on to Book 3. We should note that Book 3 came out in two parts, but I'm not quite sure how much that reflects what the production looked like. It might be that everything was mostly decided before they started writing, but based on the shift between the first and second halves of Book 3, there might have actually that they mostly wrote Book 3.0 before they figured out what they were doing for Book 3.5

Anyways, Book 3.0 (and really we can kind of include the Crossroads of Destiny here) had two shifts in the depiction of Azula's character. First, she was now consistently depicted as caring a lot about Zuko. The first episode of Book 3.0 was kind of ambiguous here in a way that suggests the writers were tentative about this, but every following episode clearly showed Azula being kind to Zuko in one way or another. Second, The Beach introduced the idea of Azula as sympathetic character, including her trouble with her mother. Note that there are two ideas that Book 3.0 does not introduce or use: the idea of Azula being mentally ill/crazy (at her worst, Book 3.0 Azula is only a bit over the top), and the idea of Azula controlling her friends through fear. In fact, The Beach "normalizes" Azula's relationships with her friends a lot.

Meanwhile, Book 3.0's depiction of Mai centers around the seed about her relationship with Zuko flowering. 3.0 always continues the trend of depicting her as unafraid of Azula and generally not giving a shit what Azula thinks.

Book 3.5 is where the final shift in the depiction of Azula occurs. There are two new ideas introduced here. First, there's the idea of Azula using fear and terror to force people to have relationships with her due to Azula's own fear of loneliness. Let me point out that this idea conflicts strongly with her past depictions, where Azula only used fear as part of her methodology of ruling. Mai being "afraid" of Azula is also suggested, for the first time at this point, despite all previous depictions of Mai emphasizing that Mai was not afraid of Azula (while Ty Lee was). Second, the idea of Azula being mentally ill and "crazy" is introduced late. Previous depictions of her showed her being mean and cruel, but not her being "crazy."

Now, at long last, we can return to your question. Again, we must remember that everything which happens in a story happens for a reason. The Boiling Rock episodes served one primary purpose: depicting Zuko and Sokka bonding and getting to know each other. This is why these episodes were written. Hypothetically, reintroducing Hakoda and Suki could be another purpose for them, but Hakoda was instantly written out again and the writers made it clear that they had zero real ideas for Suki in subsequent episodes and essentially just had her character hang around in the background 95% of the time.

However, if the purpose is to show Zuko and Sokka bonding, why do Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee appear? Why does Azula show up and fight Zuko, and why does Mai save Zuko? None of this was necessary for the Zuko and Sokka bonding experience. I suppose having Azula and Zuko fight furthers their rivalry, but literally in the very first scene of the next episode (The Southern Raiders) there is a fight scene between them which serves to further this purpose far more effectively. The writers also could have written Mai's sacrifice as having a big effect on Zuko, but we all know they avoided that too.

The reason that Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee appear has to be almost solely for reasons related to the arc of those characters. The writers wanted Azula to have a big breakdown and go "crazy," but they hadn't built up toward that idea at all in the previous two seasons. They needed to speedrun toward it now, and having Mai and Ty Lee betray Azula offered a convenient start toward Azula's downfall and mental health collapse. Moreover, it also allowed them to depict Mai and Ty Lee as "redeemed" and "on the right side now," while having them stick by Azula until the end would make depicting this problematic. Zuko being Mai's love interest and Ty Lee always being depicted sympathetically probably contributed to urge to redeem these characters, but it's also important to remember that the writers took pains to make sure that child characters were "happy" and/or "redeemed," even if they died tragically, during the series. The only real exceptions to this were Hahn (NWT warrior who was Yue's betrothed) and...Azula. One of the reasons why Azula's ending strikes so many people as odd and at odds with the themes and tone of the series is that almost every other child got some sort of "happy" or at least honorable ending, while Azula was not only humiliated and utterly broken but also denied the slightest hope of happiness.

[vqmprxz]

nina the killer moodboard + hcs

basics (about nina in my au :)

🔪age: 17

🔪nationality: filipino + german

🔪height: 5’2 if we’re being generous

interests, habits, etc

🔪 tumblr warrior. her story took place in the 2010s and she was scene, you can understand why.

🔪the type to stay up reading/writing fanfics until 4 in the morning

🔪she has a bunch of bandaids all over her body (she’s not very careful during combat). sometimes they’re colorful to match with her outfits.

🔪has some form of bipolar disorder or bpd. she can be a sweet bubbly teenager but she’ll also leave a victim unrecognizable.

🔪her favorite show is adventure time and she watches it with ben.

🔪black chipped nail polish and messy black eyeshadow every day.

🔪nail biter. she’s tried not to but she cannot stop. jane eventually gets her to wear black press-ons so she won’t bite them (she nibbled on them anyway.)

🔪insanely talented when it comes to technology/coding. she was in the pltw course in highschool

🔪fangirl. i hc she fangirls over frank iero from my chemical romance and ryan ross from p!atd

relationships with others

🔪nina is extremely kind to other people and will go out of her way to help them

🔪unless her bpd interferes. she will lock herself away and not talk to anyone or threaten them to the point where she’s sent outside to take a breather

🔪ben is her best lil bud. she sees him as a brother figure and is extremely protective over him like she was with chris. she does his nails, shows him new music, and more.

🔪despite her whole backstory revolving around jeff, the more she talks to him, she realizes how much of an asshole he is and she doesn’t really want to associate with that

🔪 jane is like an older sister to her, always looking out for her and making sure she’s safe and healthy. (i hc she’ll check in on nina when she’s writing some frank iero fanfic at 3 in the morning and force her to take a break and have a snack)

🔪 nina will happily play dolls with sally or steal a stuffed animal from a store for her while she’s out running errands

a relationship with her (only sfw, she’s a child)

🔪 she’s bi 100%

🔪 she’d be scared to be in a relationship at first. the most experience she’s ever had before was a middle school boyfriend

🔪 but eventually she’d warm up to you, and beware, shes a handful

🔪 expect calls while you’re out, her happily ranting about her day and asking when you’ll be home bc she misses you

🔪 can’t find your hoodie? nina’s probably wearing it

🔪 LOVES cuddles, needs them as much as possible (even while you’re fighting sleep on her bed while she types away on her computer at 2 in the morning)

[the-dirtiest-of-twenties]

Tbh, I kinda doubt we'll get a Senior Year.

It was great to see how the cast and their characters have grown but, for the most part, story arcs are pretty wrapped up.

Fabian is coming to terms with the idea of "Maybe I don't have to be super famous to have a life worth living", as well as succumbing to Lou Wilson's inherent need to create community spaces where all people are welcome. Incredible growth for Fabian!

Riz, I think, will always be solving mysteries. But he has realized that he doesn't have to WORK to be cherished by his friends. That love in any form can be an ambient thing that is still fulfilling even when it's not waving it's arms and screaming "I'm here! I'm here! Look at me!"

Kristen is well on her way to figuring shit out! She's realized that her actions, funny though they may be, have serious consequences. That she will have to address them eventually and give serious thought to the timing and the way in which she chooses to address things. This is something that very much diverts from her roots of steering away from structure and headfirst into chaos. She's actively seeking a happy medium!

Fig has finally realized that she needs to take care of herself too! We joke that she thinks she's so closed off when she's actually very open about her emotions. But, in reality, she is very closed off when it comes to the way she thinks about herself. Going to hell and learning her trade and how she wants to go about using their infernal power is so inherently personal! I'm so happy for her and proud of her for taking that step outside of her friend group/family to discover things about herself!

Adaine has confidence, a family, and a role in society that, while a bit intrusive, is on its way to understanding that the former two come first! She put the effort into helping her sister redeem herself. She killed her Dad to save herself, her sister, and her friends. (Not to mention the whole world because of Nightmare King stuff). She jokes and studies and gabs and works and laughs and rests. Rest is so important, especially after having been constantly on edge for so long while having to worry about her anxiety.

And Gorgug? One of the first scenes of the series was Gorgug getting mad after being punched while offering a tin flower. Now he can use his artificing skills WHILST raging, some that has literally never been done before! While he may not be very "book-smart", he has gone above and beyond in showing how hard he will work for something when he believes!!

Is there more story to tell? Sure. Fig is being hunted by somethings or other because she dropped out. Fabian has a new nemesis on the way. And who the FUCK knows what Kalina has up her sleeve.

But, as a wise man once said:

"I think... It's a trick of when you stop the story. Happily ever after is sometimes true, but it’s also something that you put at the end of the story to say 'this is where I’ve decided to stop remembering. I don’t want to go into the rest here.'"

~Brennan Lee Mulligan (Neverafter)

Thinking about the fact that for fantasy high senior year we’re probably not going to get fig Faeth anymore :(

[syndrossi]

Help, they're too cute, all of them! (Not me writing more of Daemon-wakes-up-before-the-twins-are-born!AU because the current scene in Resonant is kicking my ass...)

Daemon bundled them into thick furs, taking care to make sure their heads and ears were covered, until only small wisps of black and silver escaped along the sides of their round little faces. He grinned at the sight of them swallowed by the furs, nearly spherical in either arm, and crept out with his bounty, both utterly silent for the entirety of the walk to Caraxes’s enclosure. There was a trace of warmth in the light breeze, a promise of spring, and the air lacked the bite of months before. When spring came, Daemon guessed, it would come quickly to melt the snow that remained on the ground. Caraxes snuffed at his sons, and they both happily babbled at the dragon for the few minutes Daemon left them on the ground beside him to fetch his own personal saddle, as he’d taken to calling it. He secured them to it first before fastening the straps around his own chest, and when he was finished, he had one on either side of his back, peering over his shoulders.

[quadrantadvisor]

Sometimes I still think about The Owl House Gang all trying to watch ATLA together but then Zuko's backstory in The Storm retraumatizes Hunter so bad they have to stop

[infinitethree]

Okay, you know what?

The bastard is almost, on an aesthetic level, not terrible to look at while he’s like this.

Asleep, he can’t be a fucking sociopath or an asshole. Those too-clever eyes of his aren’t judging and dissecting, they’re closed.

The absence of that bright blue gaze makes him seem surprisingly vulnerable.

So does the way Daz has, in the short while he’s been asleep, already snuggled up to him and is being clingy.

After the last few hours of running around looking for him, it’s a relief to know that he’s been mostly fine all along.

Naturally, when Daz didn’t come home, Raine got worried. The Council, aside from Lee who had been kept out of it, have been searching his known hidey-holes for hours now.

Obviously the HQ was one of the first places they checked, but the wall that leads into the hidden room was sealed off. They assumed that meant he wasn’t there, so they ignored it.

It wasn’t until Aster, in a last-ditch attempt, decided to open it up and check that the bastard was found.

He’d been fine, thankfully. Just having hyper fixated on the code and shut out everything else.

Aster carefully takes his com out and taps out a message to the others.

ShiningAster: bastard located. fine but asleep. focused on coding body for Innit, forgot he has a human body.

RaineStorm: seriously?? uhg, at least it’s normal shit this time

RaineStorm: as opposed to soul crushing despair and existential terror

Khons: need help moving him? ShiningAster: staying here. fell asleep on me, he has nightmares. also touched starved. might be less bastard if he gets good sleep

It’s only a little bit of a lie. Technically, none of that was wrong, but the implication was that Daz wasn’t strongarmed into accepting.

RaineStorm: yeah his nightmares are BAD and music only kinda helps.

ShiningAster: I think I can fix it. saying more will make him pissy

Khons: well if he’s not in trouble and staying there we’re going to bed

ShiningAster: night

RaineStorm: gn

RaineStorm: it’s gonna be really funny seeing him fall for you ngl

ShiningAster: its gonna be weird as fuck for me

After a moment, he switches to DMs.

ShiningAster: at some point we have a kid. Not adopted I think. looks just like him. her name is Azira. means rising star.

RaineStorm: WHAT THE FUCK??????

ShiningAster: also he made a deal to help with Innits body for seeing the same shit I do. but for me obviously

RaineStorm: oh my god that stupid asshole

RaineStorm: maybe he’ll learn his lesson. bc you’re def good to him, I know you.

ShiningAster: hes capable of being good to me back. too busy being petty for now though

RaineStorm: yeahhhhhh. he’s def an acquired taste. but he really is a great guy when you get past his him-ness

ShiningAster: lol

RaineStorm: he figured out I’d want a heated tub, art studio, and a porch. it’s freaky tbh but it’s nice.

ShiningAster: sounds fake but ok

RaineStorm: you’ve never seen him be like that so it’s hard to picture but it’s true!

That’s not quite right; Aster has seen Daz be kind and generous to others…he’s just never been the target.

No, maybe that’s not fair. He’s dragged Aster to a place of being better in a way he never would have done on his own. Despite his attitude, it did still benefit Aster.

Granted, he’s also been an asshole on purpose for literal years, so. That kind of events out.

ShiningAster: honestly just want to eat his damn food without being drugged

RaineStorm: something something the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach

ShiningAster: it sucks so bad to play chicken on if Ill suffer when I touch his cooking

ShiningAster: usually its worth it. at least until whatever he put in it hits

RaineStorm: and now we know why

ShiningAster: maybe therapy will fix him

RaineStorm: ngl I think not thinking he’ll kill anyone he loves will do wonders on its own

RaineStorm: but therapy will help too probably

ShiningAster: cant say much for obvious reasons but hes fundamentally broken. has been for most of his life.

ShiningAster: but Id never have a kid if he didnt seem in a good place. so whatever he does works

RaineStorm: have you considered it might be the power of love

ShiningAster: fuck you

RaineStorm: I’m serious!! think about it, he’s spent like 4 years thinking being loved will get that person killed

RaineStorm: he might have divine confirmation but he’s stubborn. might not feel real

RaineStorm: soooo someone who loves him despite his bullshit might be the thing that makes him be less…yknow

Ah, another reminder of how deeply fucked up Daz actually is.

ShiningAster: could be having someone who knows his secrets or even just Innit being out

RaineStorm: remind it that it needs a new name btw. too close to existing ones

RaineStorm: but yeah that probably helps too

RaineStorm: I feel awful I never noticed he was so…unwell

ShiningAster: hes good at hiding what he wants to hide. cant blame yourself when hes a master manipulator.

Said master manipulator mumbles into Aster’s chest, voice small, “I missed you.”

And, fuck, something in his chest feels like it cracks when Aster realizes what and who Daz must be dreaming about.

There’s nobody it could be but his former mentor. The person who gave him everything he ever wanted…and then committed an unspeakable sin against him.

Clearly, Daz still misses him. Despite what Dream had done to him, a part of him still misses the person who crushed him infinitely worse than anyone before him.

Despite only getting brief glimpses of that time, Aster gets the impression that Dream had been someone whose preciousness went beyond words.

Yet Daz couldn’t stomach letting him have his way after what he did. He rejected a place as a near-god beside someone who, despite the sickness in his soul, was devoted to him to a disturbing degree.

That…takes a strength of will that Aster isn’t completely sure he could match.

Fuck, nor does the decision to use the lethally broken enchantment as a backup plan.

If the rest of the server had failed to kill him, Daz would have chosen a death so agonizing that it chills Aster to his core.

It’s not hard to see why Daz is so…himself, honestly. Aster might not be able to think like him, nor agree with his actions, but in a fucked up way he can follow most of the logic now that he has the pieces.

He swallows as Daz’s voice wavers and cracks. “You said you’d protect me, so why…”

Aster adjusts his arms to a more comfortable positon, and messes with his hair more. “I’m not him, Daz. You’re not Tommy any more. Dream was sick– you know that.”

Horrifyingly, Daz starts shaking as he cries.

He rushes to add, “But– but you can have something new. Fuck, if you can be even halfway decent, I’d fall for you pretty damn quick. You can be charming, you know? And– and pretty romantic. It was– maybe it wouldn’t be awful. If you just stopped being such a bastard–”

At a loss for what else to do, he cuts himself off and starts humming.

Eventually, Daz slips back into deeper sleep.

But the memory of this unsettlingly fragile side of him will remain in the back of Aster’s head. Even when Daz is being the biggest bastard he can be…Aster knows he’ll remember this.

[mercurymacaroons]

woagh 2 posts in one day

[jupitermelichios]

every time I watch a DCEU movie I think "that's it, that's the worst superhero movie", and then they go and release another one

in unrelated news, the Ezra Miller Flash movie is fascinatingly terrible in ways I don't think anyone could have predicted, including looking like someone tried to make an FMV superhero game for the xbox 360.

to give it its dues, I didn't hate the experience of watching it as much as I hated watching the snyder cut, but that's mostly because the snyder cut is so slow i could physically feel myself aging as I watched it. flash is unquestionably a worse movie than the snyder cut, in almost every possible regard, but I don't feel like I've lost several years from my lifespan just by watching it, so good job Andy Muschietti. You managed to make a film that's less than 4 hours long.

also they put cgi christopher reeve in this movie against the express wishes of both him and his estate, and I hope every single person involved in making that decision steps barefoot into dogshit.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

with the recent like self-analytical framework of [putting hand on own shoulder] "are you looking for the external validation of value in this which would never be guaranteed, and you don't even think it should be contingent on this anyways" it's like, that also speaks more to like "yeah i did really enjoy live performance / theatre-adjacent and -overlapping stuff"

like i have my sense of how much i loved things and none of that involves any memories of having enjoyed it b/c of any feedback i got, from peers or instructors or anything. memories of curtain calls don't stand out much. like fun Specific Feedback was a kind older (relative to me) performer with the central role telling me that my literal leaping onstage (dance performance. grande jete entrance) despite a technical difficulty that would have to be improvised around was Inspirational/Motivating lol. i stopped having any particular stage fright (although is that when you're onstage? more like, anxiety beforehand about messing up. being onstage was the easier, enjoyable part) thanks to just having to yolo through those technical difficulties lol....anyways and then that same show actually, some relative to me younger audience member's dad was like "she's your (role's) biggest fan" and we nervously take a pic together lol. these things were fun & standout but Not Even It; not at all like "this is what makes it all worth it" like this is largely beside the point but a fun little bonus outlier event or two

like there was also no "i loved it b/c of Being In A Cast" nor b/c of any particular like, hanging out having fun Social Element. i loved rehearsing, though. loved being backstage (or in green rooms, or dressing rooms) but not because of any particular company or goings on. loved waiting & practicing / warming up & getting things together like your own costuming & being summoned to backstage & whatall. loved all the technical elements of getting a show together, when things were being assembled / worked out, though i didn't get to have much of any active hand b/c i'm like this twelve year old just learning the part, but it was fun to witness. none of my sense of what contributed to having a great time entailed any particular praise or anything; there was some implicitness in how all at once i graduated from [ensemble performance, back row for tall people] to [roles with solos] and the like, but there was just like, being busy, doing things well enough that it just wasn't Impeding anything lol, and in other arenas where i might've gotten more comments about being like, an outlier per whatever measure of success, it was definitely like, it's all just [successfully avoided negative attention] and ofc people think good grades are good but i'm not particularly moved by the awareness that that in turn is what's good or impressive about me, or something. or that i have to have anything like that for [successfully avoided negative attention]

and i wouldn't have like, done a monologue to an empty room and been like wow magical. i'd do my thing for rehearsal, and then for an audience, but you can't really see the audience and you're like ten doing local ten year old recreational stuff so it's like, the curtain calls you don't remember much (by you i mean me) and then you're done, and for me it was the fun of just like Everything Before. no like classic memories montage of great times socializing, it was me sitting in the green room equivalent, me warming up in the hallway, enjoying being in an auditorium for like 7 hrs of rehearsal, etc, we didn't do any like social events like high school performance afterparties or anything; i wasn't like Friends w/even the occasional person i also knew from school, and that didn't matter or diminish things in the least. performing A Show and for whatever Audience and that abstract is completely good enough. any of my parents' involvement, unavoidable b/c i couldn't even get places without being driven, was a major downside; i didn't like any like post performance [congrats] from them b/c that stuff was just its own unconstructive Performance that you, by which i mean me, were required to be sufficiently like Oh Wow about when it's like, the focused attention from you here means i want to leave; being left all amongst other adults during rehearsals was the good shit, while it also wasn't the case i needed like support or hype from any of those adults either.

there was Some tradition of like, older students in some program who'd take a trip to nyc / do some performance or other, and that seemed exciting but it stopped existing before it could be relevant to me lol. also for the first like, show that was like "audition for parts" vs "class recitals" they gave us like a relevant keepsake for it, and that was a nice surprise, since i had a great experience and all. and one of my main [not dance, with lines and everything] experiences being this fourth grade english class scenes from julius caesar, auditioned again, i'm like hell yeah that this has to be nongendered b/c it's all a bunch of guys, so i play a guy, and an antagonist yippee who doesn't die midway through and sounds easy-peasy to be like [be the dictator assassin] lol. it's funny how already i Cared about like, wish we had Effects instead of awkward silence for the drama of that assassination. wish i like, knew fuckall about acting. but the teacher just focused on telling us all to talk louder b/c nobody could be individually mic'd, and in the end you really couldn't hear fuckall of other performances so that was a win. and we got to do it twice b/c some people's parents got stuck in traffic. all i remember of my parents' presence was being like "omg yes i get to stop being here talking to you b/c we get to do that Again hell yeah"

like it's social but in a Parallel way. i'm contributing my part, i know my role, you know yours, i'm fondly remembering sitting in some school lobby having mini muffins with hours to go before our performance, amongst other people but not at all hyped abt interactions with them or at all disappointed abt the absence of any. i enjoyed it all being in front of people, others involved in the show, or the audience, but i wasn't there for any specific feedback, just being Part of that group constructed experience there. truly this case of like....loved all of that exactly as it happened, was on my own shit, did not need any external validation, didn't need a specific kind of Socializing that's supposed to look like having individual interactions with personal friends, had this passion for it that i also was having a perfectly good time exploring on my own, whilest also enjoying working with / learning from whatever instruction i got. like sure wishing i knew fuckall about acting but that it turns out no not everyone necessarily all loves stage acting as The Peak like that, and this comfort and interest with it that comes from like, you have all the practice of Having to perform and mask and act in life against your supposed incorrect abnormalities, but here's this constructive and creative and expansive edition of that art and science. good enough for doing it all through like fourteen

[elytrafemme]

ok i need to be very kind to myself and acknowledge that i had a good day regardless of how it ended but i did find out that my other best friend (no.4) is asking someone out meaning nearly every person i know is either at that stage or in a relationship and i’m wondering at what point do i start ramping up my insanity in hopes of finding any kind of love

[unnonexistence]

feeling mildly insane over stacker pentecost because is he ever not the fixed point? do we ever get a moment where he isn't being something for someone?

[iam-anordinary-human-orami]

I really want a scene like this in tsc2 where Neil seems to call Jean more often to check up on him and the floozies are perplexed "Why is Josten calling you?" "You guys close or sth?" "You still haven't told us what happened when he whisked you away" "we are worried sick Jean, how can you keep us in the dark?" And then Cat will say sth like "are you not sharing what you're talking to Josten about cause you're embarrassed?" Jeremy being a worried mother hen "is he bothering you?" And Jean keeps shutting everything down telling them not to worry, and then Laila as a joke says "is he flirting with you?"

And Jean responds with "I hope not. I don't think his boyfriend would take it well"

Everyone immediately stops what they are doing. "Im sorry, his WHAT?"

All hell breaks lose. Cat is shaking Laila "Josten is FRUITY?!", Jeremy is like "He has a boyfriend?" Laila being like "in the year that he joined the foxes and almost died in the hands of his serial killer dad, he got a boyfriend??? How???" And then Cat and Laila start asking questions, Jeremy trying to calm them down but also being curious, Jean is like "Well he's not told me explicitly, but it's obvious."

Jeremy having an epiphany "oh my god. Is it Kevin?" Cat in the background "oh please let it be Kevin" Jean says no, "Kevin is too much of a coward", the floozies are looking at each other like "oh we are definitely unpacking THAT at some point". And then they're like okay, well maybe the boyfriend is not on the team. But Jean confirms, it's a fox, i can tell u who it is-' "NO! We need to figure this one out!" "Let our gaydar do the work Jean we got things to prove!" Jean tiredly: "to who?"

So they start guessing, oh Hemmick is undeniably fruity, Jean is like "I don't even know who that is. Oh, backliner? No, not him". "Maybe it's Boyd?!" Cat being like "Escandalo! Cause he's with the captain right? Wilds?" Laila commenting "He'd be out of his mind to pass on that, and this is the educated opinion of a lesbian", Jean is like "how come u guys know all their names?" Jeremy says "they are a small team and it's hard not to keep tabs on them when they are in the news cycle every week or so"

"Guys we're losing track, keep your heads locked in! Who could be Josten's boyfriend, that tonight's pressing question!" "But there's no one else... wait, is he with the other backliner? Short blonde?" "I'm gonna be honest, I don't get queer vibes from him" "Lol can u imagine it's actually the goalkeeper twin" "what the one that went to juvie and looks like hes one step away from biting our heads off on the court? Nahh". Jean looks at an invisible camera like he's in the office.

And then something happens and they forget about it, until like the winter banquet or some shit and Cat is intently looking at Neil trying to decipher who his boyfriend could be, maybe he is in a throuple with Wilds and Boyd? Jean is like "Why are you looking at the foxes' table so intently?" "It's investigative work, don't worry about it" and then Neil comes over and takes Jean away at the open bar to talk about sth, the floozies are pretending to not be looking at them. Neil notices and he's like "I see they taken claim already." Jean responds with "It's not what u think" and they talk, Andrew probably gets bored at some point and goes to Neil, puts a single hand on his lower back and Jean being able to hear commotion in the Trojans table turns to see them acting like "normal", except their poses look rehearsed, there's drinks that have been spilled on the table and Cat is drinking from an empty glass looking at the sky.

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.