#i also managed to shower
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It’s now hours later.. still have neither napped or eaten.. but I did successfully complete side quests..
#personal#audhd#adhd#adhd things#adult adhd#adhd problems#actually adhd#i’ve also been unmedicated for days#i changed my phone plan because a black friday deal was an upgrade to my current plan for $15/mth less#while on hold waiting to talk to an agent#i ordered a new iphone because I could trade mine in and it’s 4 years old#i also managed to shower#and collect/open my amazon packages#and order a new case for the new phone..#but yeah.. no eating or napping#why would we do essential things#that would make sense
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A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Eps 1-2
(Overview | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6)
Inspired by @secriden's metas on Style here and to a certain extent also here and also from some comments about Style's apparently "swagless" and "rizzless" flirting, I went on a rewatch of the first two episodes (a rewatch which I thought was a GREAT idea to start at midnight and made me stay up till 4:30am even tho I had uni the next day lmao rip), a rewatch that served as a quest to find answers to some questions I was wondering about.
Mainly I was curious about two topics:
1) Style and his level of Being Annoying™
How annoying is Style right now?
Is he being annoying on purpose?
Why? Why not?
2) Style's flirting
Is he actively flirting right now?
Why? Why not?
I wanted to know what exactly Style was doing and why he was doing it. And I figured I might as well share my thoughts publicly as some people might be interested in reading about how I personally see Style's journey in these first two episodes that have aired as of me writing this.
So without further ado... let's get into it!
Episode 1
No. 1: Meet Cute Meet Angry
It's Style and Fadel's first meeting and they're already off to a very bad start. Style has just crashed into someone else's car, which is not exactly something you would generally wanna do just for fun, Style gets yelled at for it (valid), and then, when Style actively tries to fix his mistake, the person whose car he crashed into gets even more pissy about it and even actively denies Style his attempt of taking responsiblity for his fuck-up.
And yes, Style is in fact annoying to Fadel here, because first of all, of course you'd be annoyed when someone crashes into your car, especially when that driver is potentially drunk and even admits to not paying attention to the road while driving and second of all, because in this particular case the accident comes with exceptionally bad timing for Fadel and the murder evidence in his trunk. But overall, I don't think Style is any more annoying here than your avarage idiot boy.
In fact, I would even argue that here Style isn't so much annoying as simply just very fucking stupid. He is stupid for getting behind the wheel when potentially drunk (he says he only had a single beer, but we can't confirm for sure as we didn't get to see it) and he's even more stupid for texting while driving. And he is stupid for not seeing either of these things as that big of a big deal. Your avarage idiot boy.
We know his heart is in the right place though, because Style instantly tries to take responsibility for his mistake (because despite his idiocy, Style is smart enough to realize that he did in fact make a mistake) and despite getting yelled at and scolded throughout the entire interaction, he isn't actively trying to piss Fadel off. Instead, he actually tries to calm Fadel down by fixing his mistake, in the metaphorical sense as well as in the quite literal sense of fixing Fadel's car. Style was just very unlucky that he got the wrong person at the wrong time who does NOT have time for Style's idiot boy stupidity.
Fadel, who was already grumpy to begin with, drives off in an even worse mood and Style is left behind, not in the best mood himself either.
Fun fact: throughout the entire scene Style and Fadel use the polite pronouns phom/khun for each other. However, when Style yells after Fadel, for just this one sentence he switches to the rude first person pronoun guu:
สอนกูเป็นพ่อเลยนะ [sŏn - guu - bpen pôr - loiie - ná] teach - I/me - as a dad - [particle for emphasis] - [particle]
(If you're not familiar with Thai pronouns, see here)
No. 2: Fadel Brings His Car
When Fadel shows up at Style's garage to drop off his car, Style is actually in a very good mood. He's having the time of his life jamming to the song and when Fadel shows up, Style greets him happily, despite their first interaction having been rather rough. Style doesn't hold a grudge for the way Fadel talked to him last time and he has no reason to piss Fadel off or to annoy him. I mean, why should he? After all it was Style's own mistake and Fadel's anger was pretty justified. For all Style knows, Fadel was just having a bad night that time and isn't usually this grumpy.
I don't think Style is really being annoying in this scene, nor is he flirting, even when he asks Fadel if Fadel thinks Style looked cool while dancing and immediately follows up with flexing his muscles. I think that's just part of his personality. Style is loud and eccentric and he is unabashedly being himself. Which, yes, this type of personality can be annoying for some people (Fadel), but I'd say it's a fairly normal, avarage level of being annoying for a person with this sort of personality. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Style greets Fadel happily and I think him asking Fadel on his opinion on Style's dancing as well as his muscles is actually an attempt to start an amiable conversation with Fadel. When Fadel doesn't take up Style's offer of friendly banter, Style lets it go ("Fine. I'm not messing with you anymore.") and gets down to car business, still in a good mood.
Style just tried to be friends with Fadel, and it's Fadel who comes in with an attack, questioning Style's skills as a mechanic ("I just hope you can fix it like you said you could."). Style assures him that he can and asks about Fadel's car insurance. Fadel doesn't have it. Style asks how he's supposed to fix Fadel's car in this case and if he's supposed to pay the repairs himself, which I think is a valid question for the position of car mechanic that Style is now at this point standing in front of Fadel as.
Fadel launches another verbal attack at Style ("You want me to pay for the whole repair? You were drunk and on the phone during the accident. It’s your responsibility to pay for that. Good thing it was just a rear bumper. If it had been a man you hit, what would you do?") and this time the tone of his voice is also very angry and sharp. Style tries to calm Fadel down ("Relax.") and yields, agreeing to fix the car nonetheless. He asks for the vehicle registration, which is his job as a car mechanic, but Fadel doesn't have that either.
And when Style then accuses Fadel of potentially having stolen the car, I think he isn't really actively trying to piss Fadel off with this, nor is he trying to be annoying. I think this is a direct response to Fadel's attacks. Because Style has been nothing but amiable and friendly to Fadel, has done nothing but try to do his job as a mechanic properly. I think Style does find it shady that Fadel doesn't have any of the paper work for the car and he does wanna avoid getting involved in any potential shady business (oh boy, just you wait...) but I think he also uses this moment to challenge Fadel back. I don't think Style is trying to start a real fight, because he is very quick to calm Fadel down and to yield again, agreeing to fix the car already, still in an attempt to be friendly with this strange, grumpy man.
Style doesn't hold a grudge, he tries to have an amiable conversation with Fadel, gets attacked multiple times again, does defend himself a little in a bit of a counterattack, but stays friendly with Fadel until the very end. When Fadel leaves the garage, Style's mood is more serious than it was in the beginning, but his good mood isn't completely ruined. I think part of him also kinda had fun challenging Fadel a little like that and talking back to him.
Pronoun situation: they consistently use phom/khun throughout the entire scene.
No. 3: Sensitive Nipples
I think this is the point where Style actively tries to be at least a little annoying. I think by now Style has figured out that Fadel is just naturally grumpy at all times. In both conversations that they've had so far Fadel has mostly just attacked Style with every sentence that has come out of his mouth. I think at this point Style is done with the constant attacks and with constantly being scolded and decides to mess with Fadel a little bit, because if he's already getting yelled at anyway no matter whether he makes an actual mistake (their first meeting) or whether he's trying to be friendly (their second meeting), he might as well have fun with it. Especially since part of him did have fun challenging Fadel last time. And this time he one-ups himself a little bit, even. Because this time he's not trying to be friendly and have an amiable conversation as if to make friends with Fadel. Why should he? As far as Style knows, this should be the last time he sees Fadel. Once Fadel has left with his car, they have no reason to meet again. He can afford to give Fadel a little bit of a "fuck you, see you never again" parting gift.
So Style teases Fadel, like when he pulls his hand away when Fadel makes a grab for the car keys, he challenges Fadel, and invites him to play along. You can see it in the look he throws Fadel after revealing the pin:
His facial expression kinda says: "Well? Whatcha gonna do about it? What is your next move?"
Style has now turned Fadel's constant stream of attacks into a game. And Fadel recognizes that actually:
The subtitles may put it as "I don't have time for this" but what Fadel says here in Thai is:
ผมไม่มีเวลาเล่นกับคุณนะ [phŏm - mâi - mee - whe-laa - lên - gàp - khun - na] I - not - have - time - play - with - you - [particle]
"I don't have the time to play with you." But Style doesn't care that Fadel isn't up for playing. He tries to get Fadel to play along anyway when he tells Fadel to get the pin off Style's shirt himself. It's a flirty move, but it's not meant to be actually flirty. It's another challenge in the game and this time Fadel agrees to play. And Style looks rather satisfied:
And then he goes even further when he tells Fadel to be careful with his "sensitive nipples". It's a flirty statement, but again, I don't think it's meant to be actually flirty in the traditional sense of "I want to get into your pants" but rather we're dealing a question of power, and attempt to get the upper hand even more. However, Fadel gets the last laugh by hurting Style. But Style now knows that Fadel will play along if Style is persistent enough. And Style has FUN playing with Fadel, messing with him:
Of course, when he yells this, he's being sarcastic because this exclamation is motivated by anger about Fadel poking him and also at Fadel's grumpy behaviour in general, but I do think he's telling the truth when he says he's having fun with it. It's in the way he huffs in amusement afterwards and smiles a little.
Pronoun situation: they consistently use phom/khun throughout the entire scene.
No. 4: Secret Deals
Style hadn't been expecting to run into Fadel again and now his best friend asks him to hit on the very guy he's been having problems with and wasn't planning on facing again. Style is very unhappy about this turn of events and really does NOT want to do it at first. Because as much as he was enjoying messing with Fadel in their last meeting, I think all in all he has decided he doesn't like Fadel. I think he's holding a bit of a grudge that Fadel dared to hurt his oh so sensitive nipples and I think Style is also very done with continuously getting yelled at by Fadel. Because in every single time they've met so far, Fadel has hardly ever said ONE thing to Style that wasn't in the form of yelling or scolding. So I think when Kant shows up with "hey can you flirt with the guy who's been verbally attacking you non-stop pls" Style is like nah i'm outta here.
But in the end he does agree to Kant's proposition because first of all, he sees it as an opportunity to finally get the car of his dreams and second of all, he was having fun riling Fadel up and playing games with him. And I do think Style is up for round 2 of that game. If only to get revenge for the constant yelling and the nipple pain.
No. 5: A Special Customer
And I think here is the first time where Style makes the decision to be annoying on purpose. Yes, he was already actively trying to be annoying in the "sensitive nipples" scene, but I think this scene is the first first time where he's not just trying to be a little annoying for his own amusement, but now there's a purpose to it, a goal.
Kant has asked Style to hit on Fadel, but Style doesn't walk into the diner with the goal of flirting with Fadel but rather Style walks into the diner with the purpose of annoying the shit out of Fadel. And it's 10000% revenge for the nipple. And also the constant stream of yelling. But mostly the nipple. And the fact that Fadel had the last laugh there. Joke's on Style, though, because Fadel will also win this one. But Style doesn't know that yet.
Style wants to get back at Fadel and so he really turns up his level of annoyingness. He invites himself into the diner when it has just closed, he makes Fadel serve him a whole bunch of beers and watch him get tipsy and he forces Fadel to stay at work way past opening hours.
Side note: They've been consistently using phom/khun with each other, except for that one sentence that Style yells at the end of their first meeting and that wasn't even to Fadel's face. Now, they start the scene with phom/khun, but Style calls Fadel nong a couple of times when he sits down and calls for more and more beers. He also calls Fadel nong, when he says "Won’t you join me, handsome?" What the subtitles translate as "handsome" in Thai is:
น้องสุดหล่อ [nóng - sùt - lòr] nong - most - handsome
When Fadel walks over and tells Style that he is drunk, Fadel uses khun to address Style and from that moment on Style is back to phom/khun as well.
Style was so done with Fadel that it's only when he's got a few beers in that he finally manages to do what he's actually supposed to be here for: to hit on Fadel for Kant.
He gets up, drops some flirty shit, then pulls Fadel closer. Fadel wants him gone. He pushes Style away and angrily tells him to go home. Style refuses. He came here on a mission and he'll go through with it, goddammit.
Fadel realizes that simply just yelling at Style won't work as a method of getting rid of Style and so Fadel changes his strategy. He starts playing along with Style's game. He leans down to Style, gets really close, pretends he's about to make out with him or whatever and Style thinks he's got him. Until Fadel drags him out of the diner by his feet. Fadel played Style's game and won. And Style is seriously angry now. We can tell not just from the way he rattles at the door and from the rage in his voice when he's screaming outside the diner, but also from his pronoun use in this specific sentence:
Because up until that point he was using phom/khun with Fadel in the scene, except for the beer ordering montage, where he called Fadel nong just to be extra annoying. Even when Fadel is dragging him out the door and when he is yelling outside the door, Style uses phom/khun. That is, until he says "I'm gonna take you out!" A more literal translation of what Style says here is something along the lines of "I'm making you my boyfriend!" and he is so angry, that he actually switches to the rude guu/mueng for this specific sentence:
กูจะเอามึ��เป็นแฟนกูให้ได้ [guu - jà - ao - mueng - bpen - faen - guu - hâi dâi] I - will - take - you - be - boyfriend - I/my - for sure
Where the last few times whenever Fadel has left him standing, Style was kinda irritated and maybe a little offended (the nipples), Style is seriously pissed now.
Episode 2
No. 6: A Shower at the Market
Yes, Kant may have hired Style to hit on Fadel, but when Style spots Fadel at the market, I don't think he goes after Fadel with the goal of flirting with him. No. Last time they interacted, Style was left absolutely, seriously pissed and definitely also a little bit humiliated with the way Fadel just dragged him out of the diner by his feet. So when Style spots Fadel, he decides to be a little shit again. He is once again annoying on purpose, and not for his flirty mission for Kant. Style's goal here is to get revenge for what happened at the diner.
As I said, Style felt a little humiliated at the diner. I think it's interesting how immediately after that, the next time he sees Fadel he messes with Fadel in a way that paints Fadel as "the bad guy". Style purposefully flings the vegetables at Fadel's feet (a little satisfaction for Style) and then he even gets the attention of the other people at the market to then loudly yell accusations about/to Fadel. This is Style's attempt at humiliating Fadel to get back at the way Fadel humiliated him in the diner incident. We know this, because he explicitly says so: "You humiliated me. Now it’s my turn. We’re even."
Style is the one scolding Fadel now. After having been yelled at non-stop by Fadel, I think Style is very much using the opportunity to finally have an excuse to yell at Fadel as well. And the way he loudly and dramatically shouts at Fadel and shouts across the entire market? Oh, he is very much enjoying that he now finally gets to yell at Fadel himself, that he finally gets to scold him back, even if he had to create this opportunity by framing Fadel for something he didn't actually do wrong. Everything Style is doing here, every action and every word is motivated by revenge. Unfortunately for him, Fadel once again leaves the scene as a winner.
Oh, and by the way: Style is back to the polite phom/khun for this entire scene. Fadel also continues to use phom/khun.
No. 7: Anything for the Car
Fadel has left Style standing dripping wet at the market place, humiliating him once again and this time in front of dozens of people, even. Style is absolutely done with Fadel now. He's got no interest in any kind of interaction with Fadel anymore, not even to mess with him or try to get revenge again. And I'm sure least of all he would want to flirt with him. He even tells Kant "Ain’t no way I’m doing it."
Style is done, he doesn't want any part of this anymore. But Kant manages to convince Style. Style gives in and agrees to try once more because he does want to help his beloved bestie (who he believes to be head over heels in love for the first time) and because his beloved car is still waiting for him, too.
I think, though, that if Kant hadn't talked him into it again, Style would have actually left Fadel alone from now on. He hadn't really been getting anything out of his interactions with Fadel. All he was getting was getting yelled at, getting hurt, and getting humiliated on multiple occasions. I think at this point going after Fadel is a waste of time for Style that is just not worth it. But then Kant shows up, practically begs him to continue bothering Fadel, and Style is like ughhh fine okay and goes to try again under the condition that Kant helps him figure out what Fadel likes so that Style has at least something to connect with Fadel over.
No. 8: Good Morning Krub
The last time Style talked to Fadel, Fadel left him standing dripping wet and humiliated in a market full of people. You'd think that Style would be accordingly irritated the next time he comes face to face with him and that Style would turn up his level of annoyingness again in order to get back at Fadel for it. But no. This time when Style approaches Fadel, he's not actively trying to be annoying, he doesn't approach Fadel with the purpose of being annoying.
Yes, he bugs Fadel again and yes, he is a little annoying about it, but I think this time it comes as a byproduct of the fact that Style is talking to a man here who he in reality doesn't really wanna talk to and who doesn't really wanna talk to him either. And yet, Style doesn't really wanna be annoying here. After his talk with Kant it's like Style tries to almost start "fresh" again. When he approaches Fadel, Style kind of genuinely tries now (for Kant. And the car. But I think he's mainly doing it in support of Kant this time).
And yes, he's being kinda loud and obnoxious, but that's just Style's personality. He actually tries to have a civil, almost amiable conversation again, similar the way he tried during their second meeting when Fadel dropped off his car at Style's garage. Style tries to be friendly again. It's in the way he's kinda a little amused when Fadel goes "This ain't badminton" after Style asks him to go for a run together and again, Style tries to be nice and friendly about it when he says that doing things in pairs is more fun than doing it solo.
But then Fadel opens his water bottle and for one scary moment Style re-lives his market place shower trauma. And he voices his worry out loud. And this is where it gets a little interesting when it comes to Fadel, because Fadel actually has a hint of genuine amusement on his face when he asks if Style is scared:
Style says no, he isn't scared, he's just not prepared to get wet again. And now Fadel is the one to start the teasing. He steps closer and threatens "If you follow me again, you’re not just getting soaked next time." But there is no actual malice in his voice, there's no real anger in his tone when he says "You’re not just getting soaked next time". And Style recognizes that, he responds to the teasing, the challenge that Fadel has just laid on the table: Style asks "What are you gonna do?", looking curiously and expectantly at Fadel...
And Fadel crushes his foot.
Of course, Fadel does this to one-up Style again and to make it clear how he feels about Style bothering him again when all he wants is some peace and quiet, but interestingly enough, he doesn't make another threat again nor does he order Style to piss off. Instead, Fadel actually invites Style to join him on his run: "If you want to join me, catch up."
It's debatable how serious that invitation actually was, since he literally just hurt Style's foot, getting him out of comission and making it unlikely for Style to actually follow him. And with that invitation Fadel is certainly also rubbing in the fact that he's just hurt Style when he says "catch up", rubbing in an unspoken "you can't anyway when you're in pain". But nevertheless, phrasing it as an invitation for Style to actually join him on the run is a risky move if Fadel is set on running solo, because there is still a chance that Style's determination and persistence is big enough that he bites through the pain and follows Fadel anyway. By now Fadel knows very well that Style is slightly unhinged and Fadel has no way of knowing what move Style is going to pull, no way of knowing if the pain is big enough to keep him from following Fadel or if he'll come running after Fadel after all. There is a real chance that Style would actually follow Fadel and Fadel seems to be okay with that possibility. Style doesn't try to catch up, though. Style has other plans.
Pronoun situation: they both use phom/khun throughout the entire scene.
No. 8: 10 Things I Hate About You (Style's Version)
When talking to Fadel just now, Style wasn't actually trying to be annoying, didn't mean to be annoying. Then Fadel crushed his foot. So now Style of course has to go be annoying again. Style shouting his encouragement and cheerleding chants at Fadel across the entire sports field isn't Style trying to flirt with Fadel. It's him being annoying on purpose to get back at Fadel for the pain in his foot. And it works. Fadel is annoyed.
No. 9: Moonlight Chick– Oh Wait Wrong Show
After that recent period where Style was completely done with Fadel and was starting to seriously dislike Fadel, wanting nothing to do with him anymore, this is now the point where Style is starting to actually have fun messing with Fadel again. Style is no longer pissed or holding any grudges. And while he is a little bit annoying on purpose here, his behaviour isn't motivated by trying to get revenge on Fadel. No, Style is now playing with Fadel and thoroughly enjoying himself now.
And he's not playing with Fadel in the sense of he's playing some sort of battle of powers where he tries to one-up Fadel like in some earlier instances before, no. It's more of a friendly sort of playfulness, he's trying to actively engage with Fadel, almost as if trying to get him to loosen up a bit. Which is why Style also immediately yields when Fadel says he'll go to a different store. Style doesn't want Fadel to go, Style wants Fadel to stay, he wants Fadel engage with him too, wants Fadel to play along with him. Fadel humors him, allbeit begrudgingly so. And Style is quite happy about that:
Pronoun situation: they use phom/khun throughout the entire scene.
No. 10: First To Eat... You
Fadel has humored Style and has let him help him with the groceries. Now he wants him gone. Style refuses to leave. Fadel doesn't care to argue anymore at this point. He's tired and he just wants to open his restaurant. So when Style sits down instead of walking out the door, Fadel can't be bothered to argue anymore and moves towards the kitchen. He doesn't make a single attempt to throw Style out, and I think Style sees that as a good sign, because he drops his "I’d like to be the first to eat… you" line. I don't think he's actively trying to hit on Fadel with this line here. I think he is trying to test the waters, wants to know how Fadel will accept his advances. Because right after he drops his line, he carefully checks Fadel's reaction:
And when Fadel just walks away wordlessly, Style shakes his head and stares after him, as if he's thinking to himself "This is never going to work, this man is impossible to get through to":
This is reflected also in the scene with Bison shortly after this where Bison tells Style to actually go for Fadel if Style happens to fall for him for real. It's reflected in the way Style is all "yeah that ain't happening, he can't even talk to me nicely". And when Bison goes "Fadel is rough on the outside and on the inside" and tells Style to give Fadel a good beating, Style looks at Bison with a kinda sceptical and hopeless expression. Then Bison walks away and Style thinks about it for a bit and then sighs, almost as if to say ooof, okay fine, let's do this, let's try this.
I think the conversation with Bison was another push to make him genuinely wanna try the flirting thing. Not just for revenge, not just because he wants to mess with Fadel and rile him up, not just because he enjoys being playful with Fadel. But because he genuinely wants to help his best friend and his potential one true love. And maybe, as @secriden points out, maybe also because he's starting to get curious what it is about Fadel, what's behind his thick high walls, if there's anything that makes Fadel worth the time and the effort, makes him worth loving.
Pronoun situation: they use phom/khun throughout the entire scene. (And so do Bison and Style, btw.)
No. 11: Cooking Show
With all these questions and the curiousity in mind after the talk with Bison, when Style shows up in the kitchen I think he isn't actually trying to be annoying at all, nor is he trying to flirt. I think he's trying to make friends with Fadel. Style is again trying to get Fadel to loosen up, to open up, is trying to connect with Fadel in an amiable way through something that Fadel is clearly passionate about. That's where he's coming from when Style starts pretending to be a commentator in a cooking show.
And Fadel? Actually plays along just a little bit. He's not very enthusiastic about it, but he's not complaining either. Except the more into his commentator role Style gets, the more annoyed Fadel gets and in the end he almost rolls his eyes kinda like "will this guy ever shut the fuck up":
Pronoun situation: Style uses phom/khun. Fadel doesn't use any pronouns. In fact, he does say a single word at all in this scene.
No. 12: Spotter
I think this is the first time where Style approaches Fadel with the actual goal of flirting. He doesn't approach Fadel in order be annoying in an attempt to get revenge on him, nor to mess with him because he's having fun riling Fadel up, nor does he approach him in a playful manner for his own enjoyment. No, I think this is the first time Style actively tries to flirt.
It's in the way he takes note of Fadel's veins. It's in the way he says he wants to build muscles because "maybe one day I’ll look as good as you", while shamelessly showing off the muscles he's already got. It's in the way he talks about getting frustrated at night and needing to let off steam (ahem...) (somebody sure will be letting of steam by the end of the evening). It's in the way he puts his knee between Fadel's legs, right by his dick. It's in the little encouraging nod and look he throws Fadel when he tells him he can call for Style at any time if he needs a spotter and that he'll be around.
And well, we all know this lowkey totally kinda works on Fadel.
Pronoun situation: still khun/phom for both of them.
No. 13: Sauna
Again, I don't think Style is being annoying on purpose here but rather Fadel just happens to be annoyed with him because Style shows up again and then just keeps talking and talking and never shuts up. Like yeah, of course that's annoying, but that's also simply just Style's personality. Style is talkative after all.
Style is being playful again, mixed with some genuine flirting (like when he gets naked right in front of Fadel's salad and when he gives Fadel permission to look). And I think next to the flirting, he is still attempting to involve Fadel in an actual amiable conversation and is still genuinely trying to connect with Fadel, trying to learn more about him (like when he asks about why he opened a burger joint specifically). Fadel tells him to shut up. Fadel does not wanna be involved in any amiable conversations with Style.
But Style doesn't give up and immediately goes on to the next topic (the meaning of Fadel's name). He also can't help tease Fadel a little (when he says Fadel isn't generous) but the teasing isn't really malicious, it's more playful, and somehow it works on Fadel, and Style actually manages to almost get into Fadel's pants under Fadel's towel. Well, until the man walks in, ruining the moment.
Pronoun situation: still khun/phom for both of them.
No. 14: Love at First Sight
Style is looking for Fadel and I assume he wants to follow up on where they left off in the sauna just now? But then Fadel corners him in the locker room and this is where it gets really interesting again because with all that talk about "love at first sight" and with the kisses he's planting on Fadel you'd think Style was actively flirting, but that's just not at all what is happening here.
When Fadel throws Style against the lockers, he openly declares war on Style. And it's not just through the aggressive shove and the choking alone, no. If you've been wondering why I've made a point in keeping up with the pronoun use, it's for this and this scene alone. Up until the point where Fadel runs out of the sauna, the two of them have almost consistently been using the polite pronouns phom and khun for each other, save for a few exceptions here and there in some particular instances. Fadel runs from the sauna, and the very first sentence out of his mouth after he's ambushed Style is:
ใครส่งมึงมา [krai - sòng - mueng - maa] who - send - you - [past tense marker]
Up until the point he runs away from the sauna, Fadel has only addressed Style using the polite khun. Fadel runs away from the sauna, then ambushes Style, shoves him against the lockers, chokes him, and as if that wasn't enough in addition to that he also changes from addressing Style with the polite khun to addressing him with the very rude mueng. Fadel has just openly declared war on Style. And Style? Style immediately fights back:
ไม่มีใครส่งกูมา [mâi mee krai - sòng - guu - maa] no one - send - I/me - [past tense marker]
He too changes from the polite phom to the very rude guu to refer to himself. He has done this before, but this time he actually does it right to Fadel's face. And they stick to guu/mueng for the rest of the scene. Both of them are finally done with the polite language.
Style isn't flirting here, isn't even being annoying on purpose. This is Style fighting. Fighting the battle that Fadel has just opened up. And when he kisses Fadel, he also isn't flirting. No, those kisses are a direct attack. And so is every word that Style utters in this scene.
The past few days I've seen several comments about whether Style is aware that Fadel is sus. Personally, I do think Style realizes (or is starting to realize at least) that Fadel is a lot more dangerous than Style had originally thought. And I think what clues Style in is the way Fadel is so set on Style having been sent by someone and persistent in his questions about who sent him. And also in the end when Fadel goes "don't say I didn't warn you", I think that that's also another moment of realization for Style. Like, Fadel is seriously pissed at this point and I think Style absolutel takes note of that. Not to mention how sus it was to Style already when Fadel didn't have the paperwork for his car or let him get close to his car the night of the accident. And now coupled with this ambush, I think all of it gives Style a hint that there's something very off about Fadel. There are only a couple more hours to go until episode 3 and I can't wait to see how this will continue.
#here's some light reading for you while you wait for ep3 to drop <3#the heart killers#fadelstyle#stylefadel#thk#thk meta#thk style#my meta#thkmetamine#thk ep1#thk ep2#i can't believe i managed to get to EXACTLY 30 images and not a single one more#also i just pulled an all nighter writing this just bc i really really REALLY wanted this out BEFORE ep3 dropped#i started at like 8 or 9pm and finished writing the text around 5:30am#and then i had to go make some gifs#it's almost 7:30 am as of me writing these tags#i have to leave for uni around 9:15 so i think i'm just gonna shower now and get ready and take a little bit of a break#and then i'm gonna proof read this before i post it#i wish inspiration had struck me just a liiiittle sooner so that i wouldn't have had to pull this all nighter jfdkjkdkjds#also istg if this doesn't show in the tags...
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"You’d always see him around the corner, smiling, listening to a pregame speech, or if the guys were doing something before the game or postgame, he’d be lingering around, and he didn’t want to miss a thing. So it’s pretty remarkable. He just loves coming to the rink, and he put in a ton of time and effort, and he’s been there for every guy. Even though he was out, he was he was helping us along."
Wanting to be around your boys so much that you're spying on them from the shower and sneaking onto road trips: the Alex Ovechkin story.
#I love that the road trip thing was what seemed to get Tom stirred up. Like 'yeah it's totally normal he's listening to us in the shower.'#'But ALSO he managed to charm his way onto ROAD TRIPS! Can you BELIEVE it?'#'Also he just showed up with a massive gold chain to put on the player of the game and it is None Of Our Business where he got it from.'#Tom Wilson#Alexander Ovechkin#Washington Capitals
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Things that I either forget to do but make my brain happier when I do them:
Brush teeth
Shower
Change sheets
Take my empty cups to kitchen
Throw garbage away
Fold laundry
Take a little walk/sit outside for a bit/open windows for fresh air
I recommend any of these to those of you who struggle with chronic pain/depression/health issues if you find yourself overwhelmed for "literally no good reason"
Being overwhelmed for ????? reason is usually a sign there's something basic you're forgetting to do.
#dantes vibe corner#spend 4 months bedbound and you figure out exactly what shit sets off The Bad Brain#but still forget how to tell what it is that needs done#today for me it was shower and brush teeth#the clutter was also very bad but i managed!
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Update 3: drove the asshole home bc I was so sure he was fr gonna die if he drove himself lmao. Poor dude looked so miserable, like bro was either holding back while we were working or he got worse the second he was able to relax, bc there wasn't a single moment of silence the whole drive back, dude was just curled up in the passenger’s seat shivering and being so fucking symptomatic. Like he was doing that thing where you basically cough all of the air out of your lungs then doing that rattly little inhale and then repeating, like it was Not Good 😬 0/10, hated being there to experience that in person, I was horrified, I want all of that to stay in audio recordings where it can't hurt me lmao. And he wasn’t sneezing a ton, but when he did, he stifled them until I told him to quit it bc the last thing he needs is a fucking ear infection on top of whatever the hell is already wrong with him, and even when he stopped, he was so congested that they sounded kinda stifled anyway 😭 like it's all objectively hot and I would've loved it had I just read it and not experienced it first hand, but unfortunately I'm a massive germaphobe and had to sit three feet away from this guy all damn day. So I bleached the hell out of my car and scrubbed myself down in the shower three times and I still don't feel like anything is clean enough, but I'm tired so it's gonna have to do for now lmao
#this is kinda snz kink ain't it?#i might shower again before i go to bed idk lmao#OH ALSO important to note#he was stifling with his fingers so he was getting that shit all over his hands i was like IN MY CAR????? fucking horrific#again it's objectively hot but not when it's in front of me 😭#i hope y'all are enjoyjng this at least bc I'm not lmao i was trying not to pass away the whole day#like i feel so bad bc i consider my partner a friend so obviously i care about him and wanna help#but at the same time i literally can't train my disgust reaction out of me#I'm fucking weird when it comes to who I'm more okay with being around when they might be sick#like if he wasn't my usual partner or if he was just some random coworker i wouldn't have given him a ride#like i did it scared but i still did it lmao#anyway#i told him to text me tomorrow so i know he's not dead and to call if he needs anything#so we'll see what comes of that#and i will be passing away if he gets me sick so stay tuned for that#knock on wood i haven't been sick since i was 13 and I'm almost 22 now#and last time i was sick i had strep and bronchitis at the same time so that wasn't good#but other than that it's just been allergy flare ups#so other than the vaccine reactions i genuinely don't remember what it's like to actually be sick#so let's hope i just manage to avoid it 😭#partner posting
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ok so executive dysfunction kicked my ass today l-lmao...
#managed to drag myself through the shower but that's kinda it adjfkshd#i'll be out all day tomorrow... so i'll look at hopefully writing more on friday#and i'll keep pondering the fledgling verse starter call idea until then#(also toying with the idea of doing one for the adulthood verse ngl.... i'm thinking about it sm lately & I wanna do more w it)#ANYWAY. thanks for all ur patience with me as always 🥺💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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Spent the whole day packing with the help of my best friend, i am so exhausted and we got half my room in boxes but im really proud (and excited and sad and scared) its so surreal that this really happening!!
#like ive been procrastinating packing for so long now because fear and executive dysfunction combined is the worst#so i asked amber to help me (because theyre the best and sweetest and dont judge me for my mess and all that)#also i probably really needed the deadline tbh#im so exhausted and *hit me baby voice* my lower back is killing mee#had to stop for now because i just am at my limit enrrgy-wise#now im gonna take a shower and then nap#oh man my friend is so kind and powerful and i never couldve done it without them!!!!#(well see how ill manage the rest over the next week 🙈)#but god this was so hard and embarrassing and i kept repeating 'i hate my stupid baka life' and that helped a bit tbh#my room looks so weird now with the empty walls and shit#i hate it#change sucks and im afraid#anyway enough whining ill go have that shower now#mine
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feel like im gonna go to autism sensory jail for not showering before work (two hr shift) but i just showered like 12 hours ago sjkfdg i dont need it. and i dont want to
#(said like an affirmation white knuckle gripping the desk) i dont need it. and i dont want to ^_^#and i also dont trust myself to time manage a shower on a weird wake-up/leave schedule kjf bad w simple numbers
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I rarely post Laurens, but I found this again and I felt like I had to.
Garlean soldier steals from the army to redneck engineer a weapon capable of replicating aether manipulation like a conjurer, building it so that it physically becomes a part of his body, then runs away before he can be persecuted to abandon his wife and 5 children to live the sleazy cougar life of his dreams.
Think of the gif where Batman has Catwoman's animations and moves around all sexy and seductive and you got him. He will leave you with all his tavern bills and giggle about it. He's that one Vine with the lady dancing on that heavy machinery to Gimme more with Britney Spears before the camera pans out to the city view below. He is probably the worst character I have in terms of personality, but unfortunately I love him.
#dont shower with him even if he begs. you dont know what will happen with those cables#they spark and flicker enough for him to sometimes light cigarettes with them#he managed to circumvent the garlean inability to manipulate aether and he is SO smug and cocky about it#one of his children is on a hunt to kill him also#i cannot stress enough how terrible he is#LMAOOOO#laurens#laurens viator avenius#if you recognize the character + 1 real person in the photos used props to you
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the problem is that every time i sit down to think about hxh field ecology au part 3 i only come up with more nuance and detail instead of ways to condense it or make it, like, comprehensible
#i pulled the chimera ant arc into several different pieces and spread them out across the chronology of the au#to make a point about conceptions of risk in field science#that was a mistake for several reasons. not least that i'm now stuck trying to make some of those arcs function separately#i think i figured out how to do it just now in the shower but it does require reorienting the central conflict of fic 3#which admittedly is fine cause i never managed to orient it clearly in the first place.#also this entire series has turned out to secretly be a challenge to myself to learn to write anger.#hello world#hxh field ec au#anyway it's a good exercise to try to backform the internal logic of the arc. i love to study structure
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Of course for the past two days I haven’t been able to do any of the stuff I planned to in order to prepare for the concert tomorrow — like bracelets or really pinning down my outfit. Right now I have 5 bracelets for each member, and like 5 or 6 more that are just general nctzen bracelets, and I really wanted to make more (10 of each was my goal) but considering how I’m looking on time to make them I just don’t see it happening
#because yesterday I had an awful migraine and basically slept all afternoon#and then today I got home and started to figure out my outfit but I had to run to my grandparents because my grandma was really dizzy and#my aunt was worried about my grandma’s blood sugar#and then I’m going out to dinner tonight with my best friend#and I still need to make some last few bracelets and pack since I’m staying in Chicago overnight and figure out my outfit#and I want to do my nails and I need to shower and I still have no clue what shoes I’m gonna#wear and also my phone is almost dead even though I’m leaving in 20 minutes for dinner#I’m just bad at time management tbh
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Well, if coughing isn’t triggering a throw up, I suppose I can clean this room
#it’s so fucking bad#depression room let’s go#also thank fuck for not being in work today#I wouldn’t have lasted#I woke up at 4am#threw up what stomach contents I had before passing out at my desk#managed to get back in bed around 8am though#clean shower and then see what I can do with the remainder of the day
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My list of "reasons why this update is so late" for the next ITNL update just keeps growing longer
The next thing tacked on will be "I got strep throat (or something like it) so bad that I ended up literally bleeding from the throat :)"
Suffice to say, this is going to be an interesting summary of my life over the past few months 😂
#speculation nation#wrote a smut fic got a new girlfriend started playing bg3 quit my job my dad died AND ALSO i was so sick my throat was bleeding#what a life ive been living!!! ao3 commenters r gonna b like 'are you okay??????'#and im just gonna have to be like. 'NO!!! :D but im doing my best to get by anyways!!!!!'#anyways yea im still doing fine. the antibiotics r helping a lot. a got a special mouthwash to help heal the throat lesion#i managed to take a shower today!!! for the first time in a week!!! and cleaned up the cat messes!!! im so proud of myself#it wore me out for Real but i still did it. im making progress!!!#recovery!!! doing my best!!!!!#gonna have to sleep soon tho. wow i am worn out.
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the cold water in my flat isn’t working for some reason which sucks colossally. but i‘m looking on the bright side! made a tupper bowl into a basin. this is washing with style my babes
#okay a few months ago the warm water wasn’t working and that wasn’t nearly as bad as this#i can take cold showers! i prefer washing my hands with cold water! i‘m not a hair‘s width away from second degree burns every time i ope#n the tap!#and i can use the fucking toilet!!!! guess what!!!! they use cold water!!!!!!!#i need to call the building managers. only last time i had to pay the bill for the plumber myself. which. no#also they‘re available like two days a week#big sigh#shut up kit
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How do I get things done?
How do I not get stressed about one thing I have to do and have it keep me from accomplishing anything else? How do I manage to buy groceries and take my cat to the vet and still sit down to draw? How do other artists do studies, finish personal work and other projects, cramp in appointments, chores, handle social media and keep in touch with friends without feeling absolutely stressed out...? I can't figure it out. I can only do one of these things in a day and... I don't get it. What is your secret
#wondering what is wrong with me#I've tried making lists#making a schedule#it's not helping#I'll have breakfast and suddenly it's 11 am and I have take a walk and also shower at some point and of course my livestream starts at 9pm#and don't forget to eat and text your friends and there's a letter you gotta send and this email needs a response#oh you wanted to draw or write? sorry day's over get some sleep we'll try again tomorrow#only that it'll be the exact same thing tomorrow#and if I'm real lucky I'll be in a bad mood and manage to accomplish even less than usual#and did I mention I'm not even working?#other people can do it so why. am. I. so. bad. at. this??#something to bring up with my therapist I suppose
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Bruh people aren't fucking lying about COVID fatigue goddamn
#covid#life of sponty#ive been sick since i got back home on 12th#infected probably 1 to 3 days before that#so im coming up on 2 weeks of covid#and right now the worst symptom remaining is the fatigue and exhaustion#i got up and showered and sat at my desk for 30mins and now I'm so exhausted i have to go back to bed#it's effort to stroke the cat#the other day i did a small physical exertion and afterwards was so intensely tired it tooo about 6 hours of recovery#just to be able to lift small objects without dropping them#shits fucked bruh#also I'm getting the classic taste fuckery and bitter and alkaline flavours are literally making me choke#it's wild#desperately hoping it doesn't last because i really dont want to lose onions forever#i love onions#i was scared for a second that I'd lost mango too but it turns out it's just the mango skin flavour. the flesh is fine#cough was only monstrous for like a day#rest of the time it's not been any worse than ive had from normal nasty coughs. pretty manageable#the fatigue is wack though#I've never been this weak before#it's kind of fascinating from an authorial perspective#this is going to be useful experience for the writing banks
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