#i also managed to shower
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It’s now hours later.. still have neither napped or eaten.. but I did successfully complete side quests..
#personal#audhd#adhd#adhd things#adult adhd#adhd problems#actually adhd#i’ve also been unmedicated for days#i changed my phone plan because a black friday deal was an upgrade to my current plan for $15/mth less#while on hold waiting to talk to an agent#i ordered a new iphone because I could trade mine in and it’s 4 years old#i also managed to shower#and collect/open my amazon packages#and order a new case for the new phone..#but yeah.. no eating or napping#why would we do essential things#that would make sense
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Things that I either forget to do but make my brain happier when I do them:
Brush teeth
Shower
Change sheets
Take my empty cups to kitchen
Throw garbage away
Fold laundry
Take a little walk/sit outside for a bit/open windows for fresh air
I recommend any of these to those of you who struggle with chronic pain/depression/health issues if you find yourself overwhelmed for "literally no good reason"
Being overwhelmed for ????? reason is usually a sign there's something basic you're forgetting to do.
#dantes vibe corner#spend 4 months bedbound and you figure out exactly what shit sets off The Bad Brain#but still forget how to tell what it is that needs done#today for me it was shower and brush teeth#the clutter was also very bad but i managed!
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Update 3: drove the asshole home bc I was so sure he was fr gonna die if he drove himself lmao. Poor dude looked so miserable, like bro was either holding back while we were working or he got worse the second he was able to relax, bc there wasn't a single moment of silence the whole drive back, dude was just curled up in the passenger’s seat shivering and being so fucking symptomatic. Like he was doing that thing where you basically cough all of the air out of your lungs then doing that rattly little inhale and then repeating, like it was Not Good 😬 0/10, hated being there to experience that in person, I was horrified, I want all of that to stay in audio recordings where it can't hurt me lmao. And he wasn’t sneezing a ton, but when he did, he stifled them until I told him to quit it bc the last thing he needs is a fucking ear infection on top of whatever the hell is already wrong with him, and even when he stopped, he was so congested that they sounded kinda stifled anyway 😭 like it's all objectively hot and I would've loved it had I just read it and not experienced it first hand, but unfortunately I'm a massive germaphobe and had to sit three feet away from this guy all damn day. So I bleached the hell out of my car and scrubbed myself down in the shower three times and I still don't feel like anything is clean enough, but I'm tired so it's gonna have to do for now lmao
#this is kinda snz kink ain't it?#whatever idc i feel so gross and I'm tired lmao#i might shower again before i go to bed idk lmao#OH ALSO important to note#he was stifling with his fingers so he was getting that shit all over his hands i was like IN MY CAR????? fucking horrific#again it's objectively hot but not when it's in front of me 😭#i hope y'all are enjoyjng this at least bc I'm not lmao i was trying not to pass away the whole day#like i feel so bad bc i consider my partner a friend so obviously i care about him and wanna help#but at the same time i literally can't train my disgust reaction out of me#I'm fucking weird when it comes to who I'm more okay with being around when they might be sick#like if he wasn't my usual partner or if he was just some random coworker i wouldn't have given him a ride#like i did it scared but i still did it lmao#anyway#i told him to text me tomorrow so i know he's not dead and to call if he needs anything#so we'll see what comes of that#and i will be passing away if he gets me sick so stay tuned for that#knock on wood i haven't been sick since i was 13 and I'm almost 22 now#and last time i was sick i had strep and bronchitis at the same time so that wasn't good#but other than that it's just been allergy flare ups#so other than the vaccine reactions i genuinely don't remember what it's like to actually be sick#so let's hope i just manage to avoid it 😭
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ok so executive dysfunction kicked my ass today l-lmao...
#managed to drag myself through the shower but that's kinda it adjfkshd#i'll be out all day tomorrow... so i'll look at hopefully writing more on friday#and i'll keep pondering the fledgling verse starter call idea until then#(also toying with the idea of doing one for the adulthood verse ngl.... i'm thinking about it sm lately & I wanna do more w it)#ANYWAY. thanks for all ur patience with me as always 🥺💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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Spent the whole day packing with the help of my best friend, i am so exhausted and we got half my room in boxes but im really proud (and excited and sad and scared) its so surreal that this really happening!!
#like ive been procrastinating packing for so long now because fear and executive dysfunction combined is the worst#so i asked amber to help me (because theyre the best and sweetest and dont judge me for my mess and all that)#also i probably really needed the deadline tbh#im so exhausted and *hit me baby voice* my lower back is killing mee#had to stop for now because i just am at my limit enrrgy-wise#now im gonna take a shower and then nap#oh man my friend is so kind and powerful and i never couldve done it without them!!!!#(well see how ill manage the rest over the next week 🙈)#but god this was so hard and embarrassing and i kept repeating 'i hate my stupid baka life' and that helped a bit tbh#my room looks so weird now with the empty walls and shit#i hate it#change sucks and im afraid#anyway enough whining ill go have that shower now#mine
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feel like im gonna go to autism sensory jail for not showering before work (two hr shift) but i just showered like 12 hours ago sjkfdg i dont need it. and i dont want to
#(said like an affirmation white knuckle gripping the desk) i dont need it. and i dont want to ^_^#and i also dont trust myself to time manage a shower on a weird wake-up/leave schedule kjf bad w simple numbers
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I rarely post Laurens, but I found this again and I felt like I had to.
Garlean soldier steals from the army to redneck engineer a weapon capable of replicating aether manipulation like a conjurer, building it so that it physically becomes a part of his body, then runs away before he can be persecuted to abandon his wife and 5 children to live the sleazy cougar life of his dreams.
Think of the gif where Batman has Catwoman's animations and moves around all sexy and seductive and you got him. He will leave you with all his tavern bills and giggle about it. He's that one Vine with the lady dancing on that heavy machinery to Gimme more with Britney Spears before the camera pans out to the city view below. He is probably the worst character I have in terms of personality, but unfortunately I love him.
#dont shower with him even if he begs. you dont know what will happen with those cables#they spark and flicker enough for him to sometimes light cigarettes with them#he managed to circumvent the garlean inability to manipulate aether and he is SO smug and cocky about it#one of his children is on a hunt to kill him also#i cannot stress enough how terrible he is#LMAOOOO#laurens#laurens viator avenius#if you recognize the character + 1 real person in the photos used props to you
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Of course for the past two days I haven’t been able to do any of the stuff I planned to in order to prepare for the concert tomorrow — like bracelets or really pinning down my outfit. Right now I have 5 bracelets for each member, and like 5 or 6 more that are just general nctzen bracelets, and I really wanted to make more (10 of each was my goal) but considering how I’m looking on time to make them I just don’t see it happening
#because yesterday I had an awful migraine and basically slept all afternoon#and then today I got home and started to figure out my outfit but I had to run to my grandparents because my grandma was really dizzy and#my aunt was worried about my grandma’s blood sugar#and then I’m going out to dinner tonight with my best friend#and I still need to make some last few bracelets and pack since I’m staying in Chicago overnight and figure out my outfit#and I want to do my nails and I need to shower and I still have no clue what shoes I’m gonna#wear and also my phone is almost dead even though I’m leaving in 20 minutes for dinner#I’m just bad at time management tbh
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Well, if coughing isn’t triggering a throw up, I suppose I can clean this room
#it’s so fucking bad#depression room let’s go#also thank fuck for not being in work today#I wouldn’t have lasted#I woke up at 4am#threw up what stomach contents I had before passing out at my desk#managed to get back in bed around 8am though#clean shower and then see what I can do with the remainder of the day
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My list of "reasons why this update is so late" for the next ITNL update just keeps growing longer
The next thing tacked on will be "I got strep throat (or something like it) so bad that I ended up literally bleeding from the throat :)"
Suffice to say, this is going to be an interesting summary of my life over the past few months 😂
#speculation nation#wrote a smut fic got a new girlfriend started playing bg3 quit my job my dad died AND ALSO i was so sick my throat was bleeding#what a life ive been living!!! ao3 commenters r gonna b like 'are you okay??????'#and im just gonna have to be like. 'NO!!! :D but im doing my best to get by anyways!!!!!'#anyways yea im still doing fine. the antibiotics r helping a lot. a got a special mouthwash to help heal the throat lesion#i managed to take a shower today!!! for the first time in a week!!! and cleaned up the cat messes!!! im so proud of myself#it wore me out for Real but i still did it. im making progress!!!#recovery!!! doing my best!!!!!#gonna have to sleep soon tho. wow i am worn out.
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the cold water in my flat isn’t working for some reason which sucks colossally. but i‘m looking on the bright side! made a tupper bowl into a basin. this is washing with style my babes
#okay a few months ago the warm water wasn’t working and that wasn’t nearly as bad as this#i can take cold showers! i prefer washing my hands with cold water! i‘m not a hair‘s width away from second degree burns every time i ope#n the tap!#and i can use the fucking toilet!!!! guess what!!!! they use cold water!!!!!!!#i need to call the building managers. only last time i had to pay the bill for the plumber myself. which. no#also they‘re available like two days a week#big sigh#shut up kit
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How do I get things done?
How do I not get stressed about one thing I have to do and have it keep me from accomplishing anything else? How do I manage to buy groceries and take my cat to the vet and still sit down to draw? How do other artists do studies, finish personal work and other projects, cramp in appointments, chores, handle social media and keep in touch with friends without feeling absolutely stressed out...? I can't figure it out. I can only do one of these things in a day and... I don't get it. What is your secret
#wondering what is wrong with me#I've tried making lists#making a schedule#it's not helping#I'll have breakfast and suddenly it's 11 am and I have take a walk and also shower at some point and of course my livestream starts at 9pm#and don't forget to eat and text your friends and there's a letter you gotta send and this email needs a response#oh you wanted to draw or write? sorry day's over get some sleep we'll try again tomorrow#only that it'll be the exact same thing tomorrow#and if I'm real lucky I'll be in a bad mood and manage to accomplish even less than usual#and did I mention I'm not even working?#other people can do it so why. am. I. so. bad. at. this??#something to bring up with my therapist I suppose
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Bruh people aren't fucking lying about COVID fatigue goddamn
#covid#life of sponty#ive been sick since i got back home on 12th#infected probably 1 to 3 days before that#so im coming up on 2 weeks of covid#and right now the worst symptom remaining is the fatigue and exhaustion#i got up and showered and sat at my desk for 30mins and now I'm so exhausted i have to go back to bed#it's effort to stroke the cat#the other day i did a small physical exertion and afterwards was so intensely tired it tooo about 6 hours of recovery#just to be able to lift small objects without dropping them#shits fucked bruh#also I'm getting the classic taste fuckery and bitter and alkaline flavours are literally making me choke#it's wild#desperately hoping it doesn't last because i really dont want to lose onions forever#i love onions#i was scared for a second that I'd lost mango too but it turns out it's just the mango skin flavour. the flesh is fine#cough was only monstrous for like a day#rest of the time it's not been any worse than ive had from normal nasty coughs. pretty manageable#the fatigue is wack though#I've never been this weak before#it's kind of fascinating from an authorial perspective#this is going to be useful experience for the writing banks
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i got ice cream earlier and left it in the fridge can someone go get it for me
#too lazy to get up BOO#how are my sweetie pies doing tonight#i got some mystery pain killers from the front desk lady so i feel better now#also i took a shower and even tho i left most of my shower stuff at home with my shoes :’)#i managed to make it work#snow.txt
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Halloween costume hint:
(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)
#i make no guarantees of finishing in time for halloween tho im going thru a lot rn#i DID finish a second pair of Scream yarn socks today tho!!#i just wanted to give my fingers a little break from knitting socks but i have other halloween sock yarn i plan on working on#(november is halloween 2 for me)#but yeah i saw a sample of yarn using this type of seamless cast on (provisional cast on / circular tubular cast on) last night...#...while half asleep and was immediately like Oh. I HAVE to do that costume idea now.#i flubbed the crochet part bc the way i did it made the stitches twisted when i knitted it...#...and i had to pull out every crochet stitch one by one. lol. but at least i know for next time how i gotta crochet it to be open stitches#also i knit backwards (mirrored) so i was surprised i managed to figure out the tutorial on the first go...#...bc the person filming described their actions instead of just showing it so i only needed to listen. it makes a world of difference to me#anyway. now that i got that started i have been shaking in pain all day i gotta try n shower before it gets too late#apparently my new back xrays show that my back does have an issue. but not on the spot thats hurting lmao.#so i get to do an mri and see a back specialist ughhh. also the pharmacy is refusing to fill pain meds for me. it sucks.#AND i finally got a physical therapy appointment.... for the middle of december.... guys i injured my back and#....have been trying to get in to PT since fucking MAY. its OCTOBER.#like fuck my life man i can barely fucking walk. i can barely take care of myself. the pain had been SO bad since i recently reinjured it#so yeah i gotta try n shower before i pass out from the pain.#knitting#Cori.exe#Image.exe#fiber art#horror#halloween#also like this yarn is the closest i could get to colour accuracy that i have in my yarn bin and i only have 1 skein of it which is perfect#bc it means i get to use up probably the whole skein and it makes a difference in the amount of yarn i need to use out of my bin lol#especially bc what other use am i ever going to get out of one skein of yarn? nothing but socks take one skein.#my worst yarn habit is seeing a cool yarn and then buying just one or two skeins. like thats fine for a hat or scarf...#...but i need to learn to knit and crochet more things. id like to make a sweater at least once in my life lmao#((sweater yarn gets so expensive tho bc u need so much. and we're back to me wanting to reduce my yarn stash))#personal
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We've heard this song and seen this dance before
With season 2 of Wednesday confirmed, and all the promo interviews being said, older sapphic fans are hearing the beginnings of a tune and dance we've seen before. "Not writing out the possibility of (x female ship)" all the while giving more promo to the het ship; personally reminding me of Supergirl using queer fans for views all the while having a good majority of air time be spent dragging Lena and Kara's relationship through the ringer. And yet despite that, Supercorp fans who were there from the start managing to keep creating wonderful works of fanart to keep the ship alive, despite the show itself desperately trying to make heterosexual relationships the ship(s) to "root" for despite the people making the show knowing people wanted the sapphic ship over a hetero ship. Wednesday and Enid's relationship may follow along like Kara and Lena's or maybe in an unexpected twist Netflix allows the showrunners to make it happen; regardless I think that as long as fans don't let questionable decisions about the show and their characters kill the want to create fan-works for WenClair, Wenclair shippers and the ship will be fine. (once again look at Supercorp as an example, it might not have been canon, but the fan-works are still happening, and it's hard to deny how close Lena and Kara were at the end of the series.) Canon may be one thing, but it's not like Fanon is less valid now a days. So whatever is headed towards Sapphic Wednesday fans, keep creating that good sapphic juice.
#lgbtqi+#sapphic#sapphic struggles#shower thoughts#I've heard this song and dance before#i've seen this before#supergirl#wednesday netflix#wednesday#wenclair#supercorp#queerbaiting#fandom positivity#buckle up it's probably going to be a bumpy ride#I wanted to also mention swanqueen fandom managing to keep creating sapphic fanart but that is a tad different compared to supercorp
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