#gonna have to sleep soon tho. wow i am worn out.

[orcelito]

My list of "reasons why this update is so late" for the next ITNL update just keeps growing longer

The next thing tacked on will be "I got strep throat (or something like it) so bad that I ended up literally bleeding from the throat :)"

Suffice to say, this is going to be an interesting summary of my life over the past few months 😂

[because-of-a-friend]

Boyfriend!Dino Fluff

MASTERLIST

Coups | Jeonghan | Joshua | Jun | Hoshi | Wonwoo | Woozi | DK | Mingyu | Minghao | Seungkwan | Vernon | Dino

Hey anon! Thanks for the request and the kind words about my writing! I hope this is what you wanted! Feel free to request more! This is a series I do by request so if I’m missing someone you want, you have to request it!

Dino and you meet at a coffee shop 

He’s rushing to grab a drink before he has a meeting with the other members and some of their managers 

Which is why he’s not paying a whole lot of attention to the orders being called out as he reads the texts Coups is sending him to hurry up

So when he hears an order that sounds close to his but not exactly

He just grabs it thinking they must have messed it up and he doesn’t have the time to deal with it

And he’s already gulping it down when he turns to leave and sees you!!!

And you were coming up to grab your drink

AKA the drink he is currently downing

When he realizes what is happening he turns so red

And starts stuttering

“I just- I was in a rush so- It was so similar to mine- I thought” 

You just laugh

“Hey honestly it’s fine, if you’re in a rush, go ahead and take it” 

“Oh wow, honestly you’re too kind, I don’t know how to make it up to you”

“I can just take your drink! And... you can give me your number”

Dino.exe has stopped working

“Right... right! My number!”

He grabs your phone and types it in

You take your phone back and look up

He’s just sitting there staring at you

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Oh right!” he panics and starts heading for the door. “Text me soon! I’ll buy you a replacement coffee!”

The whole time he’s in the meeting 

He’s in a daze

Just like trying not to grin as he thinks about you being so forward and catching him off guard and making his heart beat like crazy

It doesn’t actually take you long at all to text him

“Hey coffee boy, when am I getting my replacement drink?”

He reads the text twenty times in a row and every time he jumps back onto his bed and kicks his feet into the air

Hoshi walks into his room and walks back out immediately

“Umm guys, I think Dino is broken”

Dino realizes he actually has to reply and asks if you’re free to meet that weekend

You are!!!

When you get to the cafe, Dino is already there with both of your drinks

“You remembered my order?”

“Well it’s so close to mine”

He’s already red

There’s a moment of silence

“So, coffee boy, do you have a name?”

“Oh! It’s Chan, Lee Chan”

“Hello Lee Chan, I’m [Y/N]”

After finally introducing yourselves, you get to know each other

Dino really really really really likes talking to you so he asks you every little question he can think to

And he commits it all to memory

It doesn’t take him long to realize you are his ideal type that he didn’t even know he had

Like your humor, your interests, the way you speak

Every little gesture makes him feel comfortable and happy

You two talk for hours without even realizing it 

He doesn’t even know how late it is until Mingyu is calling him to ask why he’s not at practice

“Oh! I have to go!”

“Haha, you’re always in a rush, aren’t you Lee Chan”

He scratches the back of his head and blushes a bit

“I don’t want you to think I’m just running off, I really enjoyed spending time with you and-”

You grab his hand to stop his rambling 

“We’ll do this again” you affirm before sending him off 

And you do

You and Dino meet up for little dates more and more often

The other boys are having a heyday when they realize what’s happening 

“[Y/N] and Dino sittin in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G”

“Guys pls this is the third time you’ve sung that today”

“First comes love then comes marriage-”

“This is why I’m never introducing them to any of you”

But he still shyly asks them to help him come up with date ideas and how to dress when he meets up with you

Your whole relationship is so exciting for him bc honestly he had never really thought about dating until he met you so he’s feeling all this stuff for the first time and it’s just a great time for him tbh

Meaning he absolutely adores you

Get ready for random moments where you look up and he’s just looking at you like 

*          *              * *             * *     *        *  *             * *        *               Heart Eyes   * *    *       *       *          *   * *  *    *     * *      *       *     *      * *

He’s also gonna get shy and giggly any time he initiates physical contact

But he’s like obsessed with hugging you, cuddling, holding your hand, kissing you

His love for you is always overflowing so it’s evident in everything he does

He’s always being affectionate, making time to see you, buying you thoughtful gifts, listens to you intently 

But he acts like it’s such a big deal when you do the same????

Like one time you came to bring him lunch on a busy day

He looks like he’s gonna explode with joy

But then the other boys appear and he’s like 

“You gotta leave”

“Are you ashamed of me coffee boy?”

“No I just don’t want them to scare you away”

Too late

Mingyu has spotted you and now all twelve of them are introducing themselves simultaneously and asking you a billion questions

And Dino’s like “pls leave them alone”

But you think it’s so funny and you’re having the time of your life talking to them 

And it’s really fun to see how much Dino takes after them

But he’s also a nervous wreck, hoping that no one says anything to offend anyone else

But of course that doesn’t happen

They all like you and you like all of them

So Dino starts inviting you over more often bc you knowing the other boys and getting along with them and feeling comfortable spending time with them is really important to him

But he also somewhat regrets it when you and Seungkwan occasionally gang up on him to tease him (harmlessly, of course) 

But the fact that you get along with them so well still makes him so so happy

Then one day Coups gets you a ticket to their concert

And of course Dino wants you to be interested in what he does and get to see it

But he’s never been so nervous for a show before

What if you don’t like it?

What if you think he’s no good?

He puts his whole heart and soul into his performance that night

When they exit the dressing rooms he’s a nervous wreck

He sees you standing down the hall, lightstick hanging from your wrist, looking worn out from attending the concert

As soon as you see him you rush to greet him and jump into his arms

“Did you like it?” he whispers quietly into your ear

“Channie are you kidding me??? I loved it!!!”

He squeezes you so tight you think you’re gonna pop

And as if your words didn’t make him happy enough, he can hear that your voice is scratchy so you must’ve been cheering pretty loud

“C’mon babe, let’s get you a warm drink”

“But I’m already so hoooooot” 

“Yeah but you’ll thank me tomorrow when you actually have your voice”

After that you attend your concerts all the time 

Dino is beaming whenever you come

Accept that one time Seungkwan paid you to hold a sign with his name on it just to see Dino’s reaction

And he’s so excited whenever you ask him about his career and his dancing and music 

He rambles on and on and on and on about it

He’s just so excited to get to share that part of his life with you

And you love seeing how passionate he is about it

Another thing tho

You like never call him Dino

Since he introduced himself as Chan and that’s what you called him before you knew his stage name

And he’s fine with it

But it’s also weird bc sometimes he’s so used to everyone calling him Dino 24/7

Sometimes you’ll be like “Chan, baby, can you pass me the salt?”

*no response*

“Hey Chan?”

*still no response*

“Hey! Lee Chan, I’m talking to you”

“Oh sorry, I forgot that was my name for a second”

You start quoting Seventeen’s song lyrics to him to embarrass him sometimes 

But he gets to turn around and make fun of you bc 

“Last time I checked, [Y/N], you asked me to sing you to sleep with those same lyrics just last night”

There’s definitely a very fun, teasing aspect to your relationship bc Chan doesn’t like to take things too seriously and wants you two to have a lot of fun

But he doesn’t shy away from the more serious parts of being in a relationship and is actually incredibly mature and responsible in facing any issues you two have head on and solving it all in the best way possible

Dino is generally a really level headed person so he always tries to look at things from your perspective and is really great at coming up with solutions and compromises that satisfy you both

He buys y’all matching stuffed animals so that you both have something to cuddle when he’s away on tour

Such a softie honestly 

But seriously

He’s just a great bf who is gonna treat you right and be incredibly cute and cheesy while he does it

[yyxgin]

my mum always calls them my ‘korean cartoons’ but it’s understandable bc she’s usually wiped out by the afternoon (she’s up v early AM to go to work so by PM she just wants to sleep) and i mean i watch kdramas so at least she’s got one thing right. better than chinese tv (which is what my dad used to call it before he learned his friends daughter also watches kdrama and anime 🥰 WIN for me tbh 😋

i forgot to watch the movies 😅 but i’m not at work tomorrow so i’ll definitely watch them tonight 🙂 at least one. bro,, today, my goodness lemme,, oh my god. they insist on feeding me before i leave (i am NOT complaining) and today my manager ordered prezzo for herself (italian cuisine) and she was begging me to take some of her pizza home w me even though she’d literally just watched me eat the thai food and one of the chefs brought krispy kreme w her after getting some food supplies and she told me to take one i get fed SO good i’m gonna die if i don’t work there for the rest of my life honestly!! and the food runner made thai tea from scratch (which i’ve only ever had instant bc i thought it would be nice one time and now i live off it) i’m gonna combust i’m living my dream life fr 😫🙏🙏

i can not see myself working anywhere else at this point,, although i’m sad that some of the staff are going to uni in october since i would’ve spent the a few months forming relationships w them by that point 😭 but it’s gucci im gonna love it honestly.

my manager told me why she hired me and i just... yeah she made me sound so good. i’m pleased. wow i love it. i’m rambling now... do you have any pets? or are you allergic? i feel like i haven’t come across someone who’s allergic and will soon. maybe that’s just me being weird 😳

oh wait i forgot!! i love that jaehyun is such an anti-y/n. nctzens are wild to me and honestly i feel like it sucks sometimes bc it just depends really on their mood. like for mark he’s worn out anyway (pro debuter ™️) and it sucks i suppose. i reckon if the audience was younger they wouldn’t be so worn out or looking like they didn’t wanna be there. personally i always act more enthusiastic for younger kids but they’re idols and they’re probably just thinking ‘we’re people just like you’ god idk what i’m saying anymore i hope that made sense! my brain is rotting on the bus ride home.

i hope you had a good day today 🥺 ~ 🌻

my parents are kind of xenophobic tbh but i'm tired of arguing with them,,but nowadays they just call them "my korean boys" which doesn't sound as bad compared to what they used to call them before <3

ooh i hope you had a relaxing day 😎 you deserve it after working so hard !! YOUR COWORKERS SOUND LIKE ANGELS ON EARTH OMG THEY FEED YOU ??? FOR FREE ??? i want coworkers like that. dude i really hope my coworkers will be nice and that i'll get on with them bc if not i will cry😔 YOUR WORKS SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM PLS NEVER QUIT IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. what did your boss tell you ?? why did she hire you?

i do not have any pets😔 but like,,i dont mind. i'm that kind of person that gets bored of things really easily and i wouldnt want to do that to an animal?? like thats fucked up. i wanted a fish because they're fairly easy to take care of but i figured that i'd probably be a bad fish mum so i just yk,,,didnt get it (also my mum said no). my grandma has a dog that i call my own tho bc i brought it to her house and fed it and was the one who let him shit on their property for the first time so its pretty much mine <3 i also have a feeling that i'm his favorite one so🥰🥰 he is tiny and angy and lowkey kind of a not so good boy but thats okay we love him nonetheless. he is sick tho so im worried abt him😔 what about you ?? do you have any pets ?? (also your intuition was bad i am not allergic djsnsm)

yeaah i get what you're saying with the nct fan situation,,but at the same time i actually think they dont mind as much ?? like mark (he is so tired i bet) literally talks like he's besties w the international fans on fancalls sometimes (when he gets the normal fans) and yangyang called us his besties 😭✋ its that sometimes it can get too much.

i had a good day today !! i hope you had one as well🥺

[tumblunni]

I am in new hous i am dying when will the strese end

Almostalmost almost done almost sleep

Just need to install oven and washing machine andiamSO LUCKY the moving van guy also knows diy and he said he'd help do it for free but im giving him extra money anyway and im forcing him to take it and also i bought him an easter egg.i was like WE ARE GOBNA DRIVE TO STORE AND IM BUY U EASTER EGG U GODDAMB SAINT

I am so fuckin tired

Im also now fuckin broke but at least i apologised to that poor guy for the hectic mess this whole experience has been

Apologized with easter egg

Also the neighbour gets an easter egg

I HAVE A NICE NEIGHBOUR FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!! Like in the movies!! A neighbour who says hi and welcome and helps you with moving big furnitures because he is just that kind and amazing. And i told him i was like 'wow neighbours like this really exist?' andhe was so shocked i hadnt had a nice neighbour before. So i told him about the weird neighbours blasting maximum volume christian rock music at 3am and he was like What. Anyway i hope we canbe friends!! I wanna buy him an easter egg every year now cos he was very touched and said it made him nostalgic for his childhood

I wish i could afford to give easter eggs to everyone in this building aaaa!! Its gonna be so interesting being part of an apartment complex instead of just a single apartment. Theres 130 of them here! The place is so big that it has two postcodes! And they have a friendly grandma enforcing the rules and lurking in the shadows to guard us from evil! And a RUBBISH CHUTE!!! YOU PUT IT IN THE WALL ANS IT GOES ZOOM!! thats so cool and conveinient i was worried itd suck to carry bags down all the stairs and stuff. I wanna know where the end of it is so i can see all the trash going zoom!!!

Also there are SO MANY shops nearby i am finally free of the hell of The One Shop Town tho i feel a lil sad it happened only a few months after a second shop opened. Thank you, small library/coffee shop! You saved me from the utter boredom of St Mellons life!

Oh also this place is called Riverside cos its near the side of the millenium stadium with the bridge and the sea and stuff. So its super close to Town! The capital shopping centre of the capital of the country, so omnipresent as the centre of everything that 'going to town' has become Only This and every other town must be specified. Also its actually a city but noone cares. Anyway its the closest thing we have to a remotely america esque busy shopping area and i grew up around there so i cant stand the food deserts out in the less commercial districts. Like i have NO CLUE why st mellons is so empty, its not even technically in the countryside yet, and its so damn populated that everything is a fuckin maze of houses and the bus routes take an hour to get out. Youd thibk itd make sense to have more than one damn shop!!

Aaa there are SO MANY SHOP U GUYZ!! Im so tired but i also wanna go explore shoppppp

And theres loads of restaurants so thats a goal for the future once im more financially stable again. Lots of nice places to try and itd help me work on my anxiety of restauranting. (I still do not know why 'you eat a thing but someones watching' is such a big scare. My brain no logic!)

So anyway the place is great and everything is gonna be great BUT the experience of actually getting here was really harrowing and loads of shit went wrong and i had such a damn panic attack that the back of my head is still burning tenseness from the migraine ive been holding back with sheer strength of will. Also i havent slept since saturday!!!!!!!!

So aghhh i hopei can get a good easy quick nap now in the new place and im not tormented by my usual nonsense where being in a new house makes me so nervous that i get dizzy constantly for the first few days and get paranoid that im gonna fall through the floor somehow and everything seems fragile and the walls seem too thin and I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING and now matter how nice the place is i always feel like that as soon as i turn the lights off and try to sleep aaaagh

Man i shoukd turn the heating on, im only noticing how frozen this place is now that all the adrenaline of panic has worn off.and also theexhaustion of lugging shit up the stairs for four damn hours, after eight damn hours of emergency last minute panic cleaning the old house after two damn weeks of systematically befuckening an entire house into a liveable state when it was seriously like an episode of hoarders and im so damn proud of myself for defeating my own unorganizedness and also smashing several bookcases into infintesimal shards with my bare hands. Related note: get bandage for hands. Also that big slice on half my toe knucles (is that a word? Like the jointy bit?) where i dropped that pointy hunk of wood and almost guillotined them off. Also i found a giant metal pipe out of nowhere and the missing heart pattern from my childhood plush toy's foot, so it was a good clean indeed.now i just have the problem that i have NO IDEA which bags i cleaned everything into, lol!

Hhhh tired

[everythings-as-it-seems]

Wow it’s like this thing just topped off the building inside.

Been getting worse these past few months but able to contain it.

Joe just pushed me over the edge and I know he didn’t know and probably wont ever. Went to swing by and drop off 2 joints cause he had no more. I haven’t seen him since before we broke up before Christmas. We ended up talking for a bit and everything mainly going back and forth to each other and where we stand or if we’ve both got no idea. Was definitely some sexual tension there. Even talked about fwb and what not. Welp ended up kissing. Was probably a bad idea. Cause he was telling me about this new girl he found but didn’t know what he wanted. And made my heart sink.

But I mean I don’t think I have feelings still. But it just still hurts to hear things like that. Like why doesn’t anyone want me. Just feel like I’m not meant to be with anyone, just be on my own. I just feel so fucked up inside. And wrong for feeling the way I do. Because still stuck on K who could never feel the way I do. And then joe which is a little more complicated. Because we both know what went wrong the first time and it took some time to get over that. He’s just so confusing as fuck and I can’t deal with this right now.

He fuckig messaged me after work just to tell me he thinks him and her might start dating. And that’s what kinda tipped me over. Because I only fell asleep at almost 5 am last night. Woke up for work still feeling all fucked inside from a few hours before. And went all day feeling this way. And then bam something to fully push me. I’m not dumb tho I know he’s been talking to some girls and kinda had a feeling he found someone knew and I was fine about it until I we kissed.

I’m just hurting from every ounce of my being and I’m so tired of feeling so tortured. I barely sleep and still function off of 4 hours of sleep a day, no appetite so lucky if I can force 1 meal, smoke a lot of darts and drink a lot of caffeine, go to work and throw myself into work and perfect everything and constantly moving, come home and have some drinks and smoke until I can fall asleep. I just think the loneliness is finally hitting me. I like being alone but sometimes just feel so empty and alone. Cause I have 1 friend from work that I hang around but there’s still so much I can never talk about and it eats me up. I lost my best friend as soon as she left for the army. Like she completely forget I existed and is just living a better life without me in it. My childhood best friend moved to Florida a month later. And got a friend from back home that occasionally talk to. But fuck at the end of everyday I just feel so fucking empty and really alone. Like I have no one to come home to, no one to randomly call, no one to go do things with or even talk to about everything.

But man did the universe really pull through and crush me. I haven’t felt this bad since I was a teen. I even relapsed. And I know I’ll feel okay soon (hopefully) but I’m just so fucking sad and anxious about everything. I feel sick all the time. Can never fully eat a meal without feeling more sick. I just wanna scream at the top of Mount Royal. But the BK insulated freezers all I got right now.

Plus I’ve already been back at work for almost a month and I’m starting to feel worn down. Long shifts, not enough staff and steady customers are killing me slowly. That and the fact that I’ve been places as a porter because someone else is coming back so they have to give him hours. Honestly I’m just so ducking mad that nothing nice can ever happen. I was kinda excited when I came back because I finally had the kitchen to myself. I got to do the broiler and dishes and what not. And I like doing it cause I’m fast. I can rip that broiler in 25 mins and make food pretty quick. Because everyone knows I can’t stand being on frontline with customers and they didn’t like doing that stuff so it worked out for us until news TT was coming back. Working with him was hell. He’d never come up to cash ever. Would wanna be in the kitchen but he’s so ducking slow. And constantly hides in the back when you need him in the kitchen. It just pisses me right off. Honestly if I’m promoted to MIC his ass will be up front most of the time. All those days he took his sweet ass time with anything so I’d end up going for break a lot later and then wonder why I’m so pissy. I just can’t do that again cause I’ll completely lose my mind but I’m gonna fully lose my mind if I’m on porter all the time and still expected to help out BK all the time too. I’ve been on porter for 3 weeks and I’ve ripped their broiler for them a couple of times. Like just let me do it fuck. Anyone can clean a washroom doesn’t take a genius. But takes someone who knows BK like the back of their hand to run things right and make sure things get done. I’m just ducking done

[tumblunni]

Me in the hospital: i cannot sleep for 24 hours, the slightest noise is blaring, i am perpetually anxiety adrenaline

As soon as i get home: has the best sleep of my life

I usually take an hour to get to sleep each night but i totally just curled up like a snail and dropped into dreamland instantly. And i woke up to a nice warm house cos the heating turned on while i was asleep, and now all the anesthetic is completely worn off so i feel energized and great! And my throat pain has eased up so thankfully i wont have to be liquids only for as long as i thought. I was all hyperactive and cooked a great fancy omelette and it tastes like heaven itself! Its so weird how stuff tastes slightly diffetent when its the first time youve been able to chew with the right side of your mouth in five years. I guess the tastebuds on the sides of your tongue are slightly different? When i eat everything now im gonna be rolling it all over my mouth like WOW ITS ALL SO NEW AGAIN! Will probably look nuts in the middle of mcdonalds with my cheeks puffed like a squirrel XD

Oh and this is also a great excuse to drink loads of chocolate milkshakes from my milkshake viking mug! I feel so energized with calcium and yums!! EVERYTHING TASTES SO NEWWWWWWW

Oh man i do feel a bit sleepy again now after just being up for a few hours tho. I have these good jaw pain specific medicines i have to take for the next two weeks til my followup appointment to check if theres any infection left. But man i feel SO ALIVE AGAIN im pretty sure all the rot is gone! It feels so wild having space in my mouth and not constant clenchy tightness. It actually hurts less recovering from the surgery than it did before, lol! I can feel all my teeth moving apart again and loosening up into normality and the gums healing up all their injuries and oh god i just love how they cleaned out all the broken parts of my teeth and capped them with these great replacements that look so real you'd never be able to tell! My smile looks not ugly!! My smile looks not ugly!! Aaaaa! I just expected regaining the right side of my mouth, i didbt expect to e like "holy shit it must have hurt even more than i realized cos this feels so amazing now". Like i guess i got used to putting up with it and forgot how it felt to not have painmouth? Underestimated how good a teeth can be! And man i never asked for reconstructive cosmetic stuff too but they did these caps and aaa my teeth never looked his good even when they were new!! My front teeth were always crooked even before they did the weird balogna slam together and shattered into a pile of crap. And now they look like perfect supermodel teeth!! The only side effect is that its a lil hard to get used to the lack of gaps between them now after so long dealing with the shattered mess. My tongue keeps being like "oh no did something get stuck in the gaps again oh wait there arent any" and then i subconsciously try to clean them after taking every bite and just bite my tongue instead. Man i never noticed i picked up a bunch of weird mannerismd cos of tje bad teeth! I was constantly paranoidly checking my mouth 24/7 in case the slightest thing made it even worse, and eating super gently so that nothing accidentally touched the Wrong Tooth and set off a jolt of pain. And i actually needed to get a filling put in on the leftmost back tooth that was the ONLY TOOTH I COULD USE TO EAT WITHOUT PAIN for all this time! Overuse of it meant that it got ground down a little and probably would have become painful too if i'd left it any longer. Then i really would have been all soups all the time and that sucks!! Soups are good but nothing but then gives u stomach issues. The bad poops!!

Man sorry im rambling so much im just so hyper and happy and also still kinda dopily sleepy! Im not still delirious or anything i just feel the happy kind of sleepy where the anesthetic is all gone and its not "oh god i cant stay awake" and more natural sleepyness of a long day being over and everything being okay. I had such a good long nap and i feel well rested after getting so little sleep beforehand due to all the dumb anxiety. And i still feel dozey but happy doze~

Anyway its awesometo be able to really chug and crunch a foods! With the other side of my mouth i forgot about! And taste milkshake to its fullest extent!! Oh and whats weird is that the reconstructive surgery capping on my front teeth means that theyre kinda one tooth now? The caps are all linked in a single piece to fill the gaps fully without even the natural ones you'd have on healthy teeth. So its like a solid tooth guard just sculpted to look like three teeth. Itll be tricky to train myself out of thts subconcious rubbing the gaps with my tongue when theyre not even there. But i expect once i get over the unfamiliarity this triple cap will be really useful! Theyre totes reinforced so that even if i do get tight mouth problems again and the front teeth take the brunt of the pressure, now theres no gaps to smash into each other and become a painful mess. Its like scaffolding reinforcing my whole mouth by fixing the loadbearing beam, or something.

Oh also these pain meds make u a little bit more sleepy than normal paracetamol so i'll probably doze off again soon. But hopefully i will have slept off most of the "healing debt exhaustion" tomorrow and will be able to go walk down the shops and buy some icecream and other soft food. I mostly stocked up on purely liquid food cos i tjought my mouth function would be more limited. But honestly the teeth are working so much better than before, they were already so swollen and painful that i couldnt crunch stuff! Now the mild discomfort of mid-healing from surgery feels like barely anything and i bet i could bite thru a goddamn rock right now! I just cant really swallow crunchy stuff or stuff thats too salty or citrusy. I didnt even know about the stabbity throat pipe so i didnt expect it to be the most painful part that takes the longest to heal. It feels so weird cos i keep coughing like my brain thinks theres phelgm stuck in my throat when its actually a skin flap/blister from the insertion. So obviously that aint going anywhere and i have to try and force myself not to cough or swallow or else i set off this cjain of "must get thing out of throat must puke" reflex. And the pain feels like a sore throat but it isnt?? Its not really inflamed ot anything its just an actual friction burn on the opening of my airway. Which is not a common occurance so the brain is justvlike "what the fuck is happening, must send all contradicting signals at once!" So sore throat medicine wont work cos that goes down your throat passage to your stomach when really this lil skin tag blister thing is in the lung throat opening thing. And sucking on throat sweets made it worse cos all the muscles were really tense around the area where the tube was inserted, hence why it was hard to swallow food even tho it was my windpipe that hurt. And sucking on something is kinda like perpetually swallowing nothing, when you think about it? Im glad that the muscle tenseness is mostly gone now and the painkillers are helping with the ouch, and my brainis getting usedto not coughing and making it worse. But still should eat soft easily swallowable stuff for a lil while and it'll be fun to go aroundthe shops with my last pocketful of change and find neat ingredients to stick in omelettes. Im so excited to taste all my favourite things in new HD functional mouth power!!! And i can smile at the shopkeeper!!!

And oh man i really do think that my sleeping problems with stiff neck and that kind of 'bloodrush to the head' migraine were indeed part of the bad wisdom teeth bleeding internally under the gum. I thought it had to be that cos nothing else in my life changed around that time aside from getting a better and healthier bed which should have been beneficial to my neck. And even going back to sleepong on the floor like before didnt make a difference so it definately wasnt the bed! And it kept getting worse while nothing was changing, and i kept trying different things like changing my pillows and headphones and cutting caffeine out of my diet and eating more salt and eating less salt and fuckin ANYTHING ELSE cos i knew if it really was the dumb tooth being infected then there was nothong i could do about it til my surgery day arrived. Itd be such a relief to know for sure that it was indeed the tooth and now that nonsense is gonna be gone forever! But also thats really worrying to know that it was getting so bad it could have spread an infection to my jawbone and the top of my spine if itd been left much longer. I kept sneezing up blood lumps like the size of a fifty pence piece! Had never had nosebleeds for a decade and now suddenly all the time! God it feels so good to be able to lay my head down and not feel all woozy and tense im the forehead or neck. I really hope this good neck untenseness continues and the awful aches really were just the tooth. But everyone in the hospital was so nice that i think even if i do need a second surgery to check for jaw infection then id be able to be less nervoud than i was this time

Man do u ever get that thing where youre so peaceful and contented that like you can breathe easier? Like subconciously taking bigger breaths and the middle of your chest feels slightly puffed out and warm. I guess thats what the "heart leaping in yout chest" idiom is meant to refer to, lol! Or maybe i can just literally breathe easier cos the tooth pain might have been passing into my nasal cavity too, lol. My entire head feels so less tense!! Its like all my bones were rebelling against me and now they're at peace again!! Man i feel so giddy happy like i chugged a giant energy drink or something but its the opposite its a good sleeps drink XD

So im gonna go lie down again and have a relax and watch a movie or something and see if i pass out when the medicine kicks in, or if its not too bad and i can still continue my hyper mood. But my nap was so long that its too late to go to the shops now anyway so i'll just make more plain omelette and milkshake if i get hungry. I mean it doesnt taste plain when all my sense of taste is so amplified likethis! I dont mind if its all i can eat all week. PURE MILKSHAKEY DECADENCE

Aaaaa im just so happy!! I missed my chance to get the new. Kingdlm hearts but ive beenwaiting fkr this surgery for ages too and it feels like just as much of an exciting relief!