#i also love the fake dating trope lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

randxmthxughts · 2 years ago

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Be Mine - Neteyam x Metkayina ! reader (fake dating)

summary: the one, where neteyam pretends to court the reader to avoid all of the nagging from his parents and a group of admirers. of course, it doesn’t take long for her to fall for him too

warnings: none really, pure fluff, fake dating trope, jealousy, loak x tsireya canon, events take place five years after the battle between the metkayina and the sky people, so aged up characters

wc: >12k

a/n: now that i finished writing this, i realized that i wrote an avatar version of bridgerton, lol </3 if you enjoy this, i love getting compliments and reblogs

masterlist

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Everybody knew about Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan, ever since his family first stepped into your village. His blue skin, golden eyes, and the strange tail, were easily the talk of almost every conversation among your peers. Yet, despite the obvious physical differences, there was always something about him that fascinated you, lured you in.

Many things changed after the Battle at the Three Brothers. With the help of your soul sisters and brothers Tulkuns, and joined by the great Toruk Makto, your Olo’yektan had an upper hand and a decisive victory over the sky people. It was a victory to be passed down in stories to your future generations and to be celebrated gloriously among the clan. This year was marking its fifth anniversary, with a big celebration that would last the whole night.

Since that battle, Neteyam has truly transformed into a man, earning approving and respectful looks from all around him. His forest upbringing never held Neteyam back from growing into his place among the Metkayina: his once slim shoulders broadened, matching the most skillful divers, height increased, and his muscles started showing without even flexing. In addition to his looks, his physical appearance never betrayed his personality. It seemed like Neteyam had the purest, kindest heart amongst all, always rushing to help the villagers with their chores, big and small; whether it meant fixing up a canoe, carrying baskets of food, or sometimes even babysitting, that is if he had time. His father was reluctant to stop the training with his sons, just in case of another attack from the sky people, so Neteyam rarely had any time for himself.

Guys wanted to be his friends, while the girls were fawning over him, hoping to become his mate. It was no secret that now, being of an age to pick the one for himself, parents’ sudden attention and admiring looks were following him everywhere. But Neteyam didn’t rush to choose.

Unlike his brother, Lo'ak seemed to have his life all figured out, especially when it came to matters of the heart. Falling for Tsireya, Lo’ak had many expectations to live up to, if he wanted to be with her. After all, she was the daughter of the chief, and a tsakarem, the future Tsahik of Metkayina. And while at first, Tsireya’s parents were hesitant of the bond she was forming with the forest boy, Lo’ak’s family spoke for himself. His father had played a significant role in the victory at the Three Brothers, providing guidance and knowledge that helped secure their win. Lo'ak also worked hard on himself to earn her parents’ approval. So the day, when Lo’ak finally returned home with Tsireya's necklace around his neck, a symbol of acceptance, was the day when Neteyam felt the weight on his shoulders double in size.

You were no different from the other girls adoring Neteyam, as you had also developed a crush on him during your teenage years. It was unavoidable, really. Before you grew out of your friendship with Tsireya, the two of you used to be quite close. So when the Sully’s first moved to Awa'atlu, and Tsireya was assigned to guide the kids, you were often hanging around them too.

But it was easy for you to accept that you were never going to be an equal match for Neteyam. He had many admirers who were stronger than you, more skilled, more talented, and had respected families. Everything came into the play, and you were losing at every aspect. So, you have successfully suppressed this silly crush for years, before you could finally push it to the very far back of your mind and forget about it. Instead, you occupied yourself with your learning.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Despite not being friends anymore, Tsireya and you have always maintained a polite demeanor towards each other. Now it did feel a little strange to be paired with her for the gathering of pxorna’ fruits, but you had to follow through. As per tradition, the entire clan was divided into groups to prepare for the upcoming celebration, and you were assigned to work together. Even though climbing tall trees wasn't exactly your strong suit as a water Na'vi, protesting wasn't an option: after all, the sweetest fruits were always at the very top. So, to make the task easier, you and Tsireya took turns climbing the trees and picking the fruits, then one would lower the bag for the other to catch and store into the big woven baskets provided. This method ensured that the bag wouldn't become too heavy for you to carry back down.

Ready to lower another batch of fruits, you call out to Tsireya to catch it. But instead of a response, all you can hear is her laughter. Surely enough, when you look down, you find her engrossed in a conversation with Lo’ak, completely ignoring you. You try to catch her attention one more time, before huffing under your breath, and deciding to climb down by yourself. You clutch the bag tightly against your chest, but as you get closer to the ground, some of the fruits start slipping out of your grip. Your hand reaches out instinctively to catch at least one, when you suddenly begin to lose your balance. You can almost imagine the damage to your back muscles, once you will hit the ground, when a pair of hands help you down on the ground.

“I got you,” you hear an accompanying voice.

“Thank you,” you blink in surprise, as you find Neteyam Sully to be your savior.

“You spilled some but they should be good,” he grins at you, as he crouches down and starts gathering the fruits from the ground.

Quietly, you empty your bag into the basket, throwing a glance at the other basket. It’s almost empty. You sigh out of frustration. There was still a lot of work to do, but Tsireya now seems to be completely distracted. At this rate, you’ll never finish.

“Lo’ak, that’s enough,” Neteyam grabs his brother by the shoulder, interrupting his chat with Tsireya. An amused smile creeps up on your face.

“Come on, bro, let’s stay,” Lo’ak gestures to the trees around him, “At least, there is work to do here. You know the area where Ronal sent us for fruit is dead.”

“I don’t care, if we have to gather fruits from the dead trees,” Neteyam tries to pull him but Lo’ak stands his ground, “Lo’ak, you know that whatever Ronal decides is not up to discussion.”

“Bro, we spent an hour climbing those trees for nothing,” Lo’ak points to the empty baskets they brought, “If we stay here, we can help out the girls and gather for ourselves too. No one has to know.”

“Neteyam, please,” Tsireya pleads.

“Ah, what the hell?” Neteyam shakes his head before breaking into a toothy grin, “But these baskets are gonna have to be full, Lo’ak.”

“Sure.”

You roll your eyes at how easily Neteyam agrees to the empty promise. You weren’t close with Lo’ak but even you knew how often he got into trouble for not keeping his word. It doesn’t take long to confirm your suspicion: while you and Neteyam are occupied with the task on hand, Lo’ak and Tsireya disappear from underneath the trees.

“Great,” you huffed, emptying yet another full bag into the basket.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help,” Neteyam says with a gentle tone.

You watch him empty out his bag into your basket too, instead of his.

“You don’t have to do that,” you feel guilty. Does he always work harder to overcompensate for Lo’ak’s behavior?

“I don’t mind.”

He takes it so light-heartedly, you wonder if it’s a daily occurrence. You stare off into the direction where Tsireya and Lo’ak had previously disappeared.

“Don’t you find it annoying?” you ask him curiously. Surely, even he must have his limits.

“They mean well, give them a break,” Neteyam chuckles, nudging your shoulder.

“You know if you keep covering for him all the time, he will never learn his lesson,” you shake your head, “Lo’ak will be the only adult who doesn’t know how to take care of simple chores.”

“He’s not that hopeless,” he laughs, finding your reaction amusing, “He’s just a kid in love.”

You don’t disagree with him, instead falling quiet. There was no place for you to talk about his brother’s behavior, you weren’t close.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be discussing your family matters like this.”

“No need to apologize, Y/N,” his gaze softens, “Besides, wouldn’t you prefer a forest Na’vi climbing the trees, instead of Tsireya? I promise I am much better at it.”

“Of course you are,” you return his smile.

The two of you get back to work, with mostly Neteyam picking the fruits, and you filling up the baskets. Despite your initial annoyance with Tsireya for leaving you, you seem to enjoy working with Neteyam way more. He’s quick and attentive, and you are grateful for him overtaking the climbing part, because you were always a little clumsy when it came to physical activities.

Soon enough, the baskets are nearly full, so you decide to regain your strength and take a break. Neteyam peels fruits for the both of you, and you sit under the trees, enjoying the shade.

“Hey, did you make that bag?” he suddenly points at the pocket attached to your belt. It was a small woven bag that you had on you all the time, in case you found beads or rocks you could put to use.

“I did.”

“It looks great,” Neteyam smiles, “I’m not surprised though. You always had golden hands.”

“That is not true,” you disagree.

“Are you joking?” his smile grows wider, “Y/N, you make the most beautiful items. I see people approaching you everyday for help. Do you know anybody else in the village who is as skilled at weaving as you?”

“Well…no,” you shake your head.

“Believe me, you really have a talent for it.”

It wasn’t just weaving that he was referring to. You were pretty handy when it came to making jewelry, also clothes, and headpieces. When you first indulged yourself in weaving, eager to learn to make beautiful pieces for yourself, you never expected that it would turn into a hobby. Your expertise soon expanded to other things too, like making resin weapons, toys, you even took up pottery. Eventually, people noticed and started approaching you with small tasks here and there, and you were glad to help out. But your clan didn’t have a name for your occupation, so you never considered yourself to fit into one.

“Remember the ceremonial belt you helped me make? It still holds up incredibly,” Neteyam reminds you with a toothy grin.

Of course you remember. It was exactly four years ago, when one night, Neteyam came to your marui, ears pressed flat against his skull in embarrassment. He had to explain the reason for his late visit in front of your parents, saying that he had only the night to make his ceremonial belt. It took you by surprise, because Neteyam wasn’t known for slacking off. He just didn’t think that it would be so difficult to make a damned belt. Scolded by his parents for not starting out sooner, he was then too embarrassed to ask them for help, so there he was instead, asking for yours. Having a soft spot for Neteyam, your parents allowed you to help him, despite the late hour. You two barely caught any sleep that night, working on the belt, making sure that it looked special, different from the other guys’. Neteyam watched your movements attentively, eager to learn, so sometimes you would pass the belt back to him to practice.

“I see you still wearing it sometimes,” you smile.

“You really helped me out back then, I was going to get skinned if I didn’t have a belt by the time for my ceremony,” he pauses, “I still owe you for that.”

“Nonsense, no one owes me anything. Neither do you,” you shake your head, “I like helping.”

“You can’t possibly help everyone with nothing in return.”

“I mean, people bring me food here and there,” you chuckle.

“No gifts?” he quirks his eyebrow.

“Not so much. I can make my own gifts,” you shrug, “But Mateä brings me seashells sometimes.”

“Seashells? Do you like those?”

“Oh, they make necklaces and cover ups look so lovely. Of course, they’re a little tricky to work with but it’s worth it,” you explain, “And Mateä always makes sure to bring the most beautiful shells he can find… Sometimes, he even lets me have the ones he picked for himself.”

You knew Mateä ever since you were kids. He was only a year older than you, but he was very mature for his age, way more than anyone you knew. Mateä was also one of the most skilled swimmers in your clan, which allowed him to swim outside of the perimeters and discover great depths. So whenever he had a small task for you, like fixing up his spear, or making an armor for his ilu, in return he would bring you the most unique-looking, colorful shells he could find.

“Why would Mateä pick shells for himself?” Neteyam squints.

"He probably just likes them," you shrug, "But there were times when he asked me to make a shell necklace for him, but then he would insist that I keep it for myself because he knew how much I liked it."

“So he makes you make your own gifts?” Neteyam snorts.

“Hey, that’s rude,” you give him a playful slap on the arm, “It doesn’t matter. I have many beautiful things thanks to him.”

“I’m only kidding… I just think that he might like you, that’s all.”

“Maybe.”

You don’t deny his accusation, partly because there is some truth to it. Mateä’s and your fathers were close friends, so they were quite happy with the possibility of you and him bonding some day. And while growing up there was no pressure on either side, the two of you had always felt that something might happen. You were never opposed to the idea anyway. Mateä was a good match for you: he was admired for his strength and swimming, and he was very respectful towards you. And even when you had your little crush on Neteyam, you still knew that Mateä was a more likely option. More recently though, you suspected that Mateä was eyeing you too. He just never made a move… not a direct one anyway.

“Is he taking you as his date to the celebration tonight?” Neteyam interrupts your thoughts.

“Are we supposed to bring dates?” you ask, teasing. Sure, some brought dates to celebrations to make their bonds known but it wasn’t a requirement.

“Exactly! My father wants me to bring a date, like this isn’t a celebration of a battle.” he emphasizes the last word with his thick accent, clearly annoyed.

“Why does he want you to bring a date?” you cock your head.

“Because I lied,” he blurts out, a guilty expression covering his face.

“Lied?”

“That I am courting someone,” he cringes, “Even though that someone doesn’t exist.”

“Why would you lie about courting someone nonexistent when you have dozens of girls ready to be swept away by you?” you stifle a laugh, “Especially Zìsmì.”

“Please don’t mention her,” Neteyam rolls his eyes, “I don’t mean to sound rude but Zìsmì is very persistent. I sometimes have to turn directions to avoid running into her.”

“That’s kind of mean,” you decide to tease him, saying that with a stern tone, like you mean it. Neteyam shifts uncomfortably.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s rude of me to talk about her that way,” he begins to apologize but stops at the sound of your laughter.

“I’m only joking, Neteyam,” you tilt your head back, “Don’t worry, everyone knows how pushy Zìsmì can get. If the two of you were ever to become mates, she would dominate you completely.”

“Thank you!” he agrees eagerly, “Please tell that to my parents. They have been so persistent that I reciprocate her attention. I mean… just because she is a good hunter and has respected parents, doesn’t mean I click with her.”

“Is that why you lied?”

“Yeah… I just didn’t think it through. I only said it to get them off my back for a while,” he explains, his voice low, “But when I told them that I wanted to keep it a secret for a bit longer, they got too excited. So sometimes, they kick me out of the house to go on my secret dates.”

“Secret dates?”

“I kind of told them that the girl I’m courting hasn’t told her parents yet, that’s why we have to hide.”

“For a lie you didn’t think through, you sure had many details to add,” you’re amused by the clear regret on his face, “So they want to meet her tonight?”

“To confirm that I am not lying. After all, it’s been going for over a month now,” he sighs.

“A month?”

“I know, I’m going to get skinned,” Neteyam hides his face in his palms.

“Skinned by whom? Dad or Zismi?” Lo’ak’s voice interrupts your conversation.

Hand in hand, Tsireya and Lo’ak emerge from the trees and sit in front of you. She throws a concerned look at Neteyam.

“Dad, of course” Neteyam breathes out, still not lifting his head, “I can deal with Zìsmì later.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Lo’ak smirks, “By the way, you owe me, bro. Zismi was going to invite you as her date tonight.”

“What?” Neteyam looks up at his brother, “How do you know?”

“Oh, she asked me in the morning. She was looking for you, and then told me that she wanted to invite you.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her that she shouldn’t because you already had a date,” he shrugs.

“Lo’ak,” Tsireya groans, disappointed, “Now your brother will have to apologize to her, once she catches on the lie.”

“I am so dead,” Neteyam grunts, “If I could only have a little more time to think about it, I’m sure I can figure it out. But it’s like she’s conspiring with my parents against me.”

“Maybe you just need to finally turn her down,” you suggest, earning a chuckle from Lo’ak, “What?”

“Neteyam and rejecting someone don't go in the same sentence. He would rather run and sneak around the village, than tell someone that they annoy him.”

“I just don’t find that type of conversation pleasant. Or necessary,” Neteyam objects.

“They are necessary if the person doesn’t get the hint,” Tsireya adds, “Remember when Nauru -”

“Please don’t remind me of Nauru,” Neteyam interrupts her with a pleading voice.

“What did Nauru do?” you ask, now curious.

“Oh, you don’t know?” a grin stretches on Lo’ak’s lips, “It was insane.”

“It’s not funny, Lo’ak,” Tsireya shushes him, turning to you, “At first, it was kind of sweet. Nauru would leave gifts for Neteyam by his marui. But there was this one time she left him flowers, and, of course, she didn’t know that some of those were poisonous. Neteyam almost lost a finger because of her. She would also follow him everywhere, even show up to his hunts, almost earning an arrow in her head by another hunter. It was getting out of hand, and Neteyam had to reject her directly and ask her to give up.”

“Enough about Nauru,” Neteyam groans, “What am I going to do now? Even if I do turn down Zismi, I’d still have mom and dad to deal with.”

“You’re right,” Lo’ak agrees, empathizing with his brother, “I’m sure you’ll like someone eventually, but we both know how impatient our parents can get.”

The four of you fall silent for a moment, contemplating a solution to Neteyam's situation. But somewhere deep down in your heart, you feel a little relieved that he didn’t have his eye set on anyone yet. You are also partially grateful to your parents for not pressuring you in the same way. It must be hard having the Toruk Makto for your father.

“I know what to do to win more time, Neteyam!” Tsireya excitedly interrupts your thought process, “Remember the time Ao’nung asked Sìlälaw to play along, as if he was courting her?”

“That was pretend?” you ask. Surely, you missed out on a lot of things by not being friends with Tsireya anymore.

“Of course,” she says, like it’s obvious, “Before finding his mate, Ao’nung was getting scolded everyday by our mom and dad. So, he asked Sìlälaw to help him out, pretend like he was following her around, and she just didn’t like him back.”

“I don’t have time for that,” Neteyam shakes his head.

“No, hear her out, bro,” Lo’ak holds up his palm, “It worked once, right? Mom and dad stopped bothering you, when you lied about courting someone. Just show up this once, with anyone, and that’s it.”

“And afterwards?”

“Just lie,” Lo’ak exclaims, “Say that it didn’t work out or something, who cares.”

“And when it doesn't ‘work out’,” Tsireya chimes in, “You can win some more time by being ‘heartbroken’ and ‘not ready’ to pursue another girl yet.”

“It seems so excessive,” you comment, considering the plan, “Isn’t it easier to tell the truth?”

“The truth doesn’t work,” Neteyam lets out a painful chuckle, then turns to his brother, “Where would I even find someone to agree?”

“Now that’s tough,” Lo’ak hums, “Half of the girls are swooning over you, you’ll never hear the end of it.”

“What about Y/N?” Tsireya points at you.

“What about me?” you raise your eyebrows, confused.

“You don’t care for Neteyam like that,” she starts explaining, “And, you’ve had Mateä running after you for years now, but he still hasn’t even asked you out yet. Maybe if he sees you with Neteyam for one night, it’ll make him jealous and finally give him the push he needs.”

Neteyam snorts, like it’s an unlikely possibility.

“Mateä is never going to act out of jealousy, he’s not like that,” you object, “What if he stops speaking to me afterwards?”

“Then we will send Neteyam to talk to him. Neteyam will tell him that he’s heartbroken over you, and that you rejected him for Mateä,” Lo’ak chimes in, “He will dig for some information, nudge Mateä to confess to you. It’s so easy, like it was written in the stars.”

You can’t really find a flaw in Lo’ak’s suggestion. Maybe receiving a confirmation about your feelings is just the thing Mateä’s waiting for.

“Still, I’m not crazy. Do you even know how much pressure it would be to face all those girls?”

“Right, I shouldn’t be putting Y/N into such a position,” Neteyam supports your point.

“Y/N doesn’t have to face them at all. You can turn down those girls easily because you’ll have a perfect excuse. They would be too embarrassed to approach Y/N.”

“I guess,” Neteyam hums, “What do you think, Y/N? I mean, no pressure, but I would owe you for the rest of my life.”

“I don’t know,” you shrug your shoulders. It just feels icky.

“Come on, Y/N, for the sake of our past friendship,” Tsireya pleads with you.

“Okay… it’s just for one night, right?” you agree. It wasn’t.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You feel like your heart is about to leap out of your chest, when Neteyam takes your hand in his. You take in a deep breath, heading towards the celebration with him. Lo’ak and Tsireya walk ahead of you.

It feels odd to be wearing Neteyam’s necklace instead of your own. That was the courtesy of Tsireya, who was convinced that once anyone saw you two exchange your necklaces, they would be convinced that the courting was serious.

“I’m scared,” you admit through your teeth.

“Thank you again,” Neteyam whispers, squeezing your hand.

“Come on, guys,” Lo’ak turns to the two of you with an excited smile, “Act natural, okay?”

You nod your head but you’re not sure how you’re going to survive through the night. The closer you get to the celebration, the more people start noticing you. Hushed voices and gasps is all that catches your attention, even though Neteyam walks right beside you. Why does everyone look so surprised? You almost feel offended by the looks you get. Were Neteyam and you really that incompatible?

The four of you take a seat around a small fire, pairs of eyes watching your every moment. You can’t help but sense Neteyam’s nervousness traveling down his body.

“You alright?” you whisper.

“Not really,” he admits, “Have you seen my parents yet?”

As you scan the crowd of Na'vi dancing and singing, your eyes land on Neytiri talking to someone. Jake stands beside her but his attention seems to be elsewhere, as he occasionally looks around him. Both of them are wearing celebratory clothing that is slightly more elaborate than any of yours. After all, it was a testament to their importance in the victorious battle.

“It looks like your father is looking for you.”

“Shit,” Neteyam lets out, nervously. You can’t help but laugh at his reaction.

“Keep it up,” Tsireya says, “The more relaxed you seem, the more believable this will look.”

She gestures at the two of you, and as you look down, you notice how close you and Neteyam are pressed to each other. It’s like you’re trying to hide from the attention you’re getting.

It’s not long before you catch Mateä watching you from afar. Your heart beats faster, when his eyes travel to your hand still intertwined with Neteyam’s. He gulps down, and you wonder if he feels jealous.

“Mateä’s looking,” Neteyam points out, “You want to take it up by a notch?”

“What do you mean?” you turn your face to him, confused.

There is a hint of playfulness in Neteyam’s eyes before he slowly leans in, his mouth close to your ear. You shudder under his breath.

“Pretend I said something funny, and laugh,” he whispers.

“I can’t pretend to laugh,” you whisper back, annoyed, “Can’t you just tell me something funny?”

Neteyam pulls back slightly to look at you. There is an amused smile resting on his face.

“We’re really bad at this, aren’t we?”

“You think?” you quirk your eyebrow at him, earning a small laugh from him.

“Okay, this can work too,” he says. You can’t help but smile at him.

But when you check for Mateä again, he’s nowhere to be found. Your smile drops. What if you hurt him? As if sensing your sudden change in mood, Neteyam gently squeezes your hand.

"Are you alright?" he asks, “Is Mateä still looking?”

“No, I think he walked away,” you mumble, standing up, “I’m going to get us something to drink, okay?”

“Alright,” Neteyam mumbles back, watching you leave.

“Are you crazy?” Lo’ak slaps Neteyam on the arm, “Go with her, or they’re gonna eat her up alive.”

Following Lo’ak’s gaze, Neteyam sees Zìsmì with her friends. He quickly gets to his feet to follow you but you have already disappeared in the crowd.

“Y/N,” Zìsmì’s voice catches your attention.

Sighing, you turn around to face her. She has a coy smile on her lips, as she takes you in from head to toe. You wait for her to talk.

“The necklace, did you make that yourself?” Zismi points to your neck, pretending as if she didn’t recognize it right away.

“It looks a lot like Neteyam’s necklace,” one of her friends says, before you could even open your mouth.

“That’s a little weird,” Zismi comments.

“You have a good eye, it is Neteyam’s necklace,” you gather as much confidence as you can, watching their expressions change, “He gave it to me.”

“Why would he give you his necklace?” Zismi scoffs.

“Because I wanted to see it on her,” you suddenly hear Neteyam’s voice, as he appears next to you, “Everything Y/N touches, basically turns into a lucky charm.”

The girls stare at Neteyam, their eyes widened. Again, you feel a little offended. Why is everyone so surprised that he likes you? Before you can react, Neteyam gently pulls you by your hand.

“We have to go, girls,” he throws with his most polite smile.

Feeling their stares like daggers in your back, Neteyam moves closer to you and wraps his arm around your waist protectively, leading you away from the prying eyes.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have left you alone,” he cranes his neck to whisper.

“It’s alright, I’m not scared of Zismi,” you turn to look at him, “Unlike you.”

“Very funny,” Neteyam rolls his eyes.

His arm is still firmly wrapped around your waist, as the two of you continue walking. The warmth of his body against yours feels almost comforting, despite the curious glances you receive. Neteyam seems to notice it too, as he tightens his grip on you, pulling you a little closer to him.

"Just ignore them," there is a hint of annoyance in his voice. You wonder if it’s bothering him more than you.

As you get closer to the big fire, you hear a loud cheer erupt from the crowd. Instinctively, you want to find out what’s happening. A chuckle of disbelief escapes from your mouth, when you see Neytiri and Jake dancing around the fire, to the fast rhythm of the drums. While Neytiri’s movements are gracious and fluid, Jake’s are… Well, Jake is trying his best. She throws her head back in laughter, when he makes an awkward movement, but no one else dares to laugh at the Toruk Makto, except for his mate. Suddenly, he sweeps Neytiri up into his arms and twirls her around the fire. The Na’vi cheer them on and on, clapping their hands in amusement.

You join in on the clapping, caught up in their infectious joy. When you turn to look at Neteyam, however, you notice that he's cringing.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“They are acting like little kids,” Neteyam huffs.

“I think it’s sweet,” you nudge him with a smile, “Loosen up, Neteyam.”

“How can I?” he rolls his eyes at you.

“If your father can relax for one night, so can you,” you push him into the circle, with a loud shout, “Dance, Neteyam!”

Neteyam stands frozen for a moment, clearly embarrassed by your sudden action. His ears lower, and he tries to step out of the circle, but Lo’ak nudges him back in. The music picks up and the crowd cheers louder, but Neteyam stands still, clearly irritated by your behavior.

You can’t watch him anymore, so you jump to his rescue, and take his hands in yours. He tries to resist at first, but it doesn’t take much convincing on your part to get him to loosen up. As you embarrass yourself with the silly movements and faces you make, you finally coax a smile out of him. You don’t care about the others watching you, you only focus on getting him to dance with you. Soon enough, Neteyam’s confidence grows, and he starts to move more freely to the rhythm with you. You hold onto his hands, feeling the warmth of his touch, and beam with adoration as you watch him give in.

Other couples start joining in, and the circle becomes more crowded. People start pressing closer, pushing you and Neteyam towards each other, with barely any space left. His hands instinctively find your waist, yours rest on his biceps, holding him in place. You’re not sure whether it’s the heat of the fire, or it’s just him, but you feel warmer and warmer, every time his eyes meet yours.

“You okay?” you smile, noticing drops of sweat rolling down his face, “It’s too hot here.”

Before he can answer, you lead him out of the crowd. You catch a look from your parents’ from afar, and can only roll your eyes at them. You know they were going to question you about tonight but you don’t want to think about it for now. At least they don’t seem to be mad?

Distracted, you turn around, nearly colliding with Neteyam's parents. They look a little lightheaded, and you suspect they've had a drink made from the pxorna' fruits you gathered earlier. Quickly, you bow low and bring your fingers to your forehead in greeting. Neteyam shifts uncomfortably beside you.

“Son… and Y/N,” Jake looks between the two of you with an approving smile.

“Y/N, are you the one Neteyam was hiding from us?” Neytiri asks curiously.

“Mom,” Neteyam tenses up, “Let’s not make her uncomfortable, please.”

Neteyam looks so stressed, you wonder how his parents believed his lies in the first place. Maybe they were blinded by the excitement?

“We’re just glad that it’s been her this whole time,” Jake says, smiling at you, “You’re very talented, Y/N.”

“Thank you,” you reply, shying away from the compliment.

“We were worried that Neteyam was lying just to avoid us,” Neytiri explains.

Neteyam and you chuckle nervously, hoping that this isn’t her smart way of cracking you.

“Are your parents aware?” she asks, scanning the crowd. You quickly draw her attention back to you.

“They are now… I am sorry that Neteyam had to keep this a secret from you, that was my wish,” you lie, “It is just that my mother likes rushing into many things, and I still needed some time to get to know Neteyam.”

You weren’t completely off; your mother did have a tendency to rush into things. If she had known that you were open to dating Mateä, she would have already told him by now.

“No need to apologize,” Jake chimes in, “If anything, I feel bad for forcing your hand.”

“You should feel bad,” Neteyam grunts but you can sense that he’s holding back from saying more.

“It’s alright, I’m happy to be here tonight with Nete,” you pat Neteyam on the back.

Dropping a nickname seems to be just enough to convince them. You notice the satisfied smiles settle on their faces.

“Ma’Jake, let’s leave them alone. After all, it’s their first outing as mates,” Neytiri murmurs, pulling Jake by his hand.

“We’re not mated yet,” Neteyam cringes, but she only finds it amusing.

“It is only a matter of time, you are your father’s son after all.”

As the two of them walk away, laughing, Neteyam takes a deep breath to calm himself down. You can sense how embarrassed he feels, knowing what you heard. But you didn’t mind it all, he has no reason to be this upset.

“Are you okay?” you nudge him but Neteyam refuses to look at you, “Hey, don’t be like that.”

“I just...I didn’t think it would be this hard,” he admits, looking down.

“What would be hard? Pretending to be in love with me?” you tease, craning your neck to see his face.

“No,” he doesn’t even crack a smile, “I’m sorry for getting you into this mess.”

“You don’t have to apologize, I am enjoying this,” you take his hand in yours, finally getting him to look at you, “Besides, we’re almost done, right?”

“Right,” he nods.

“Now, come on, pretend that I said something funny and laugh,” you playfully repeat his words. Neteyam's lips twitch into a smile before he breaks into a genuine chuckle, causing your heart to skip a beat. You love the sound of his laughter.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

“You two look so good together, I am not ready for this to be over yet,” Tsireya beams, as she plops down in front of Neteyam and you. Lo’ak follows her suit.

“Maybe you should keep it up for a little longer, bro. The way you were dancing - “ Lo’ak starts to imitate Neteyam’s dancing but Neteyam slaps him.

“Stop that, skxawng.”

“Just ignore him, Neteyam, you were great out there,” Tsireya says softly.

“Seriously, being less tense suits you,” you agree, noticing Neteyam hiding a shy smile.

“I got to admit, it wasn’t bad at all,” Lo’ak straightens up, “I just haven’t seen you dance since Naye.”

“Let it go, Lo’ak,” Neteyam grunts.

“Who’s Naye?”

“Neteyam’s first crush from back home,” Lo’ak snickers, enjoying how far he can push his brother, “Neteyam was so in love with her, he couldn't even talk to her. So this one time, during a celebration, he decided to express his feelings by dancing for her.”

“Well, what did she say?” your ears perk up in anticipation.

“She just pretended like it wasn’t happening and walked away,” Lo’ak breaks into laughter.

“That’s not funny,” Tsireya covers Lo’ak’s mouth with her hand, “It’s alright, Neteyam, we all had our share of silly teenage crushes.”

She unintentionally throws you a knowing look, for support, but Lo’ak immediately catches on.

“Who did Y/N have a crush on?” he asks.

You stiffen, feeling their gazes intensifying on you.

“It doesn’t matter now,” you try to switch the topic but Lo’ak doesn’t seem to give up.

“It shouldn’t matter then, if you say it,” he pushes, “It can’t be that bad.”

You let out a sigh, knowing that you won't be able to get out of this.

“I used to have a crush on Neteyam,” you admit as laughter erupts.

You shoot daggers at Lo’ak, who is now rolling in the sand, while Tsireya tries to cover up her laughter. You turn to Neteyam, who looks at you with a shy smile on his face.

“Before you say anything, I feel like I should clear this,” you hold up your hand, “It was just a fleeting crush before I got to know you. And it disappeared. So please don’t feel uncomfortable.”

“So you’re saying your crush disappeared right after you got to know him?” Lo’ak asks, another wave of laughter hitting him. Shit. That’s not how you wanted it to sound.

Neteyam only rolls his eyes at his brother, while Tsireya tries her best to keep a straight face.

“I’m sorry, we just sneaked some of the pxorna’ juice,” she explains.

“I can tell,” you grit through your teeth. You have now truly understood the embarrassment Neteyam felt a moment ago.

“Y/N, please don’t take this to heart,” Tsireya rests her palm on your thigh, “Who cares what happened five years ago? We know you’re interested in Mateä now anyway.”

“Yeah,” Neteyam clears his throat, agreeing, “It was a silly crush, right? It’s all in the past now.”

You nod, but you can't shake off the feeling of unease. You couldn’t help but wonder if Neteyam was relieved that he didn't have to reject one more girl, or if he was secretly disappointed that you were interested in Mateä instead of him.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

When Neteyam asked you to keep up the fake courting till the hunting festivities to make his heartbreak more believable, you agreed. The festivities were supposed to begin only in a few weeks, to mark the beginning of the hunting season, so you thought it wasn’t a big deal. You could wait. Besides, it seemed like things were looking up for the two of you.

Neteyam was finally getting some time for himself. His father had started to ease up on him, cutting short his training. Knowing that Neteyam was supposedly courting you, Jake wanted to give his son a chance to focus on that.

The past few months had been so tough on Neteyam both physically and mentally, that all he wanted to do was rest and recharge. So he would often use that free time to drop by your marui and ask to take naps on your floor, while you were working on whatever project you had. Since your parents were mostly out, letting you work in peace, Neteyam’s quiet snoring was no burden. And if anyone was visiting you to ask for help with their items, they would only throw an amused look at sleeping Neteyam and leave you two alone, helping you keep up your fake image without much effort. Sometimes, you would catch yourself watching him too, admiring the peaceful expression on his face, as he slept. Of course, this didn’t escape your parents’ attention, as they were peppering you with questions about Neteyam’s intentions almost every night. But you mostly ignored their inquiries, focused on the simple pleasure of being able to help Neteyam.

Slowly, the girls who used to fawn over Neteyam not too long ago also started to lose their interest. Especially with Zismi's parents informing Neytiri that they were considering another match for their daughter. Neteyam felt relieved by the idea that he didn’t have to reject anyone anymore.

On the other hand, you started noticing more efforts from Mateä. Even though you feared that he wouldn’t act out of jealousy, Mateä seemed to be persistent in seeing you more often than he usually did. Whenever you went for a swim, he was right there with you, trying his best to make you laugh. Whenever you would carry a heavy basket, Mateä sprung to your side to help. Not to mention the beautiful seashells he started to bring you without particular reason. It seemed like any day now, Mateä was going to confess his feelings for you. Neteyam didn’t seem particularly pleased whenever he witnessed your interactions, but you only assumed it was an act.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

As you rounded the corner to your marui, you suddenly spotted Neteyam pacing around it. You hesitated to approach him as you could hear him mumbling something under his breath. It was almost like he was practicing some sort of speech. Instead, you carefully lowered yourself into the water and swam closer to your home, hiding just underneath. You were close enough to hear him and avoid being seen. You weren’t going to eavesdrop for long, you just wanted to find out what he’s doing before revealing yourself.

Neteyam suddenly stopped talking, and for a second, you thought that he had spotted you. That is until, Mateä came into your view, stopping by the entrance to your marui. You watch quietly, as the two of them exchange a brief greeting.

“Is Y/N here?” Mateä gestures to the marui, but Neteyam shakes his head, “Oh, I guess I thought she’d be here with you.”

“Why would she be with me?” Neteyam asks, with a slight annoyance in his voice.

“Aren’t you courting her?” Mateä asks, confused, “Or are those just rumors?”

“No, it’s true,” Neteyam seems to get his act back together. For a second, you were worried he would accidentally reveal something, “But Y/N is not tied to me every minute of the day, so…”

“So it is true that you’re not mated yet,” Mateä mumbles under his breath.

“Did you have something to pass to her?” Neteyam asks impatiently, crossing his arms over his chest. What is he doing?

“Actually, I'd prefer to give it to her myself," Mateä matches his tone, clearly not liking the possessiveness Neteyam radiates.

“If it’s another thing you want her to make for you, she’s been busy lately,” Neteyam scoffs.

“It’s not a task, I brought her a gift.”

“Let me guess, more seashells?” Neteyam rolls his eyes. What is wrong with him?

“That’s right, I know how much she likes those,” Mateä steps forward.

Seemingly unfazed, Neteyam takes a step forward as well. You shift, thinking of interrupting them before things start to escalate. But Mateä doesn’t seem to be in the mood for an argument. Instead, he brushes past Neteyam towards your marui.

"I'll leave them on her table. Tell her I brought them for her when she comes back," Mateä says over his shoulder. "Actually, don’t bother. She'll know they're from me anyway."

Neteyam watches in annoyance as Mateä disappears into your marui. You can almost hear him exhale loudly, trying to calm himself down. Maybe Neteyam’s just having a hard day today, you think. Perhaps something to do with his father? When Mateä comes back out, he leaves without a word.

Quietly, you swim to the back of your marui, and get out of the water. You pause before rounding the corner, and approaching Neteyam. Upon seeing you, he forces a small smile.

“Neteyam,” you greet him.

“Hey, Y/N,” he scratches the back of his head, nervous.

“Are you here for another nap?” you tease him, proceeding into your marui.

“Actually… no,” he follows you in.

You hum, waiting for him to elaborate, as you start taking out some of the supplies you gathered from your bag. It’s then that your eye catches the beautiful green shells laid out on your table. Neteyam stands awkwardly by the wall, watching your reaction.

“Who brought those?” you turn to ask him.

“Mateä,” Neteyam answers, “I forgot to mention. He was here earlier to see you.”

“Too bad I missed him,” you say, testing his reaction, “But it’s weird that he hasn’t asked me out yet. What do you think? You’re a guy.”

Neteyam has to physically restrain himself from cringing at your words. It takes him a second to regain his calmness, before putting on that fake voice he uses around his father.

“It is weird. He should have asked you out a long time ago.”

“Maybe he just doesn’t like me enough,” you turn your attention back to the shells.

“Nonsense. He’s just a coward,” you hear him scoff.

Surprised, you look at Neteyam again, studying his face. There is a mix of frustration and shame on his face. It's hard to tell if he's getting possessive over you, or if there's something else that's bothering him.

"Is everything okay?" you ask softly, trying to gauge his reaction, “You seem to have a problem with Mateä.”

"Everything's fine. Just... he always seems to hang around you lately," he says, his voice trailing off.

“Well, wasn’t that kind of the point?” you gesture between the two of you, referring to the fake courting.

“I guess,” Neteyam hums, you wait for him to continue, “I just don’t like that he acts like a coward.”

“Maybe if you stop scaring him away…” you mumble under your breath, but he’s quick to catch it.

“You don’t want someone who is so easily intimidated anyway.”

You don’t respond, confused by his behavior. Quietly, you start painting the pot you left unfinished last night. Neteyam falls silent too, watching you. He can’t understand what you see in Mateä. It just doesn't make sense to him. Neteyam also can’t understand why Mateä hasn’t made a move yet. Does he want you to choose him over Neteyam first? Or was he giving you other options, so you don’t have any regrets afterwards?

“You said you wanted something?” you interrupt his thoughts.

“Um, right,” he clears his throat, “It’s kind of awkward.”

You put down the pot and turn to face him, suspecting that it is going to be something good.

“What is it?”

“Well… apparently we’re not convincing enough,” he looks down at his feet, awkwardly, “People think that it’s just a rumor, that I’m courting you.”

“A rumor?” you frown, “But we’re hanging out all the time.”

Is he referring to Mateä’s words? Surely, if there was a rumor like that, Tsireya would have mentioned it to you a long time ago. She was keeping you updated.

“No one ever sees us together outdoors, not after the celebration,” his voice gets a little higher, “I was just thinking that we could take it up by a notch?”

“Well, what did you have in mind?” you tilt your head, curious. Neteyam’s eyes widen at your quick agreement.

“I take you on a date?”

“A date?” you smile, “Alright.”

A toothy grin spreads across Neteyam’s face at your response, causing your cheeks to flush with heat. You can't help but wonder if the two of you were getting too involved in this, and whether it was going to get in your way. But you can't deny the excitement you feel at the prospect of a date with Neteyam. Even if it’s a pretend one.

“What should I wear?”

“Anything pretty, and don’t worry about ruining it. I won’t take you into the water,” he says confidently, like he has everything planned out already.

“Okay,” you agree, reaching for one of the shell-necklaces you made for yourself. You raise your hand to show it to him, “How about this?”

“Hmm,” Neteyam pretends to think about it, as he leans against the wall.

You watch him with an amused smile stretching your lips. You rarely get to see a playful side of Neteyam but you love it when he acts like this.

“I think I have to see it on, to decide,” he finally says his verdict, before cracking a smile.

You roll your eyes but comply anyway, walking up to him and shoving the necklace into his hands. As you turn around and move your hair out of the way, Neteyam carefully begins to tie the necklace around your neck. You can feel his hands shake slightly, as he takes his time. When he’s done, and you turn to face him, Neteyam is standing too close to you.

“Do you like it?” you meet his eyes, unable to put a distance between you.

“I do,” he breathes out.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

“Hey, Y/N, just dropping by for that pot. If it’s ready,” Tsireya walks into your marui, catching you off guard.

You had just put on a delicate pearly top you’ve made for yourself a while ago, and were trying to see if the ties in the back were in place. Tsireya gasps at the sight of you, bringing her hands to her mouth.

“Did you make that?!” she beams at you, “You look beautiful, Y/N, it suits you so much!”

“You think? Not too much?” you quirk your eyebrow, pushing her for the truth.

“Not at all,” she answers with a knowing look, “Are you going to see Mateä?”

“No, not Mateä,” you shake your head. Tsireya looks at you confused, and you suddenly feel awkward having to explain yourself, “Neteyam wanted us to have a fake date somewhere public.”

“Oh,” that’s all she says.

It’s easy to see when something is bothering her. After all, you have been friends for a long time, you knew Tsireya like the back of your hand.

“Just say it,” you urge her to speak.

“I just think that you shouldn’t drag this out for so long.”

“But Neteyam kind of needs me to keep playing into it,” you explain yet she doesn’t seem convinced, “Besides, Mateä has been showing more interest recently, so it works for both of us.”

“It doesn’t work for you and Mateä,” Tsireya disagrees, “You need to drop this, and Neteyam has to speak to Mateä before it’s too late.”

You don’t answer, considering her words. Tsireya is right, perhaps you should wrap this thing up. It was only supposed to be for one night, right?

“Unless… you like him?” Tsireya looks at you, suspiciously.

“Who?” your voice hitches.

“Seems like you’re starting to like Neteyam again,” Tsireya lets out with a sigh. She hated keeping things from you, but she also couldn’t lie.

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment. Deep down, you suspect that she might be right. Neteyam was quickly starting to work his way back into your heart.

“I am just helping him out, Tsireya. There’s nothing between us,” you lie.

“I just think that this is not worth it… you and Mateä can have something really great.”

“The pot is ready, right over there,” you point to your table.

Tsireya throws an apologetic look at you, and picks up the pot, thanking you. She senses that you don’t want to talk about Neteyam anymore, and decides to give you time to think.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

“Neteyam?” you frown, as he keeps gawking at you, without a word.

It has been a few moments since he saw you walking out of your marui, and he still hasn't said anything. You begin to feel anxious about your appearance. Is it too revealing? Are the pearls too much? You just wanted to look like you were going on a date.

"You look like a beautiful syulang," he finally breathes out, admiring your look.

“You mean it?” you take a step closer to him.

“I do, you look very pretty,” he confirms, but takes a step back. You notice that he keeps his hands behind his back, as if he's trying to hide something.

"Thank you," you reply, "What do you have back there?"

“Uh, I brought this for you,” he says, bringing forward something wrapped in a large green leaf.

You can't see what's inside, but you assume it's fragile, given how carefully he held it. As you take it from him and begin to unwrap, Neteyam observes your every move with anticipation.

"You really didn't have to bring me anything, Neteyam," you say, meeting his gaze for a moment, “It's not like a real date anyway.”

"I wanted to," he responds shyly.

As the wrapping comes undone, you see a handful of small, delicate yellow flowers. They're unlike anything you've ever seen before, petals shaped in a unique swirl in the ends. As you bring them closer to examine, you gawk back at Neteyam.

"Let me show you something," he smiles.

Without waiting for your permission, Neteyam takes your hand in his, opening your palm and holding it above the flowers, throwing a shade. The yellow flowers begin to glow with a soft, natural luminescence.

“How come I’ve never seen these!” you beam, earning a satisfied grin from him, “This is very special, thank you.”

“I’m not a very good diver, so I can’t get you those shells you like,” he confesses, “But I saw these glowing at the top of the mountain when I was flying last night, so I went back for them this morning because I thought you might like them.”

“I don’t need you to bring me shells, Neteyam, these are very special,” you carefully pull him in for a hug with your free hand, trying not to squish the flowers. As Neteyam wraps his arms around your waist, bringing you closer, you close your eyes in comfort.

You were already thinking of ways to preserve the flowers, perhaps gathering some resin, and making jewelry out of them. Or something for your hair? Your marui?

“I’ll put them into water, so that they don’t die by the time I get back,” you say, pulling back from Neteyam.

“Don’t worry, I can always bring you more,” he smiles.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Pretending with Neteyam had become effortless. As you strolled along the beach, Neteyam and you were just talking, catching up on the things that happened in the past years. Occasionally, you would make him laugh, and it warmed your heart to see him happy like that, carefree. Whenever you would notice someone watching you, Neteyam would ask you to hold hands with him to appear more serious. You agreed, of course, but Tsireya’s words were slowly weighing on you. You were letting it yourself get too invested, meanwhile Neteyam was only pretending.

As he walked you back to your marui, you could sense his growing nervousness.

“I think my neighbors are watching us,” you whisper with a smile, coming to a halt in front of the entrance.

“Are they big on gossip?” Neteyam leans in slightly, like he’s about to tell you a secret.

“Oh, very big,” you chuckle, “They are always asking my mother about you.”

“Maybe we should give them something to talk about,” he gulps down, bringing his face closer to you.

As Neteyam's eyes lock onto yours, you suddenly feel your heart race. You can't deny the tension between you, but you also can't ignore the possibility of this causing more trouble than it's worth. The thought of rumors spreading around the village about you and Neteyam kissing makes your stomach churn. Maybe this is too far.

“What do you mean, Neteyam?” you manage to ask, captivated by his eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispers, so quietly, like he’s going to scare you away.

“It wouldn’t be a proper date without a kiss,” you mumble. It was supposed to be a joke, a snarky comment, but you sounded so desperate, so impatient to feel him.

Neteyam only nods, his gaze fixed on your lips. He leans in, then hesitates, as if asking for one last permission. You tilt your head slightly, your heart racing in your chest. And when he finally closes the distance between you, you feel his soft, gentle lips on yours. It's so delicate and slow that it feels like a dream, intimate and special.

When you pull away, you notice a small smile resting on his lips. You can’t help but shy away from his gaze, taking a step back.

“Well, I think that was convincing enough,” you joke, trying to sound nonchalant about it.

“Thank you for tonight, Y/N,” he says, straightening up, “Have a sound sleep.”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Your sleep wasn’t sound at all. You tossed and turned on your mat throughout the night, much to the annoyance of your parents. Your eyes kept being drawn to the bowl of flowers, casting a soft glow in the darkness. It reminded you of stupid Neteyam, of his stupid lips, and stupid captivating golden eyes that glowed the same way under the moonlight. You couldn't get him out of your head, and it was starting to drive you crazy.

Tsireya's warning echoed in your mind - this pretend relationship with Neteyam was going too far. You knew you had to have a serious conversation with him and move on with the final stage of the plan: turn him down. If not, you could ruin your chances of finding a real relationship. Without Neteyam.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Early in the morning, with a determined stride, you make your way to the beach, where you spot Neteyam, training with his father and a group of guys. You don’t think through what you’re going to do, when Jake suddenly notices you.

“Good morning, Y/N,” he says, drawing everyone’s attention to you, “Anything I can help you with?”

You greet them, and gulp down, easily finding Neteyam’s curious gaze on you. Well, you have come so far, why not just get it over with?

“Can I speak to Neteyam for a moment? It won’t take long,” you turn to Jake.

Jake purses his lips, but nods at Neteyam, giving him a sign to go. He approaches you with a worried look on his face.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your training,” you apologize.

Neteyam obliges, when you lead him away from the beach, to talk in private. It’s still early, so most of the clan is asleep. You feel nervous under his patient gaze but you know it has to be done.

“I wanted to talk to you about us,” you begin. Neteyam nods, encouraging you to go on, “I know there’s still a week until the hunting festivities, and I promised to help you till then, but I don’t think I can.”

Neteyam’s eyes widen slightly, but he remains calm.

“Do you want us to stop pretending?” he asks softly.

“Yes, I think it’s for the best if we stop now. If we keep going on dates and…kissing, it might give people the wrong idea, and I don’t want that,” you answer, trying to keep your voice steady.

He looks down at his hands for a moment, thinking. You don’t interrupt him. He’s probably just trying to come up with the best way of telling his parents. He doesn’t seem saddened that he won’t be forced to spend time with you anymore. You’re the idiot who fell for her fake boyfriend.

“I understand, Y/N,” Neteyam finally says, meeting your eyes, “Thank you for helping me so far.”

“It’s fine,” you let out a breath, “Then it is decided. And Neteyam…we have to keep our distance from now on.”

Neteyam watches, as you walk away with a mixture of feelings. You're relieved, yet also disappointed that the fake relationship is over. You can't help but wonder if things could have been different between you and Neteyam, if only circumstances were different.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

The following days seem to stretch with a painful slowness. You feel lost, with a constant sense of longing that follows you like a shadow. The realization that you had fallen head over heels for Neteyam and can’t be with him hits you hard. You feel stupid but you can't help thinking about him all the time, trying to carry on with your day-to-day tasks. But it seems like everything is taking more effort than it used to.

Every now and then, you catch a glimpse of Neteyam from afar, and he looks just as sad as you feel. You can't help but wonder if he's just putting on a show for the sake of the rumors, to make it believable. You wish you could just talk but avoiding him is the right thing to do for now.

And as suspected, it doesn’t take long for rumors about you turning him down to start spreading throughout the clan. People notice that you two aren’t spending time together anymore and are avoiding each other. It is ironic, how they think that it's Neteyam going through a heartbreak, when in reality it is you.

When Tsireya comes to congratulate you on the successful plan, she tells you that Mateä has heard the rumors and was preparing to confess to you. But you don’t want Mateä anymore. Instead of sharing Tsireya’s excitement, you can’t hold back any longer, and break down in front of her, confessing your true feelings for Neteyam. It is freeing to finally let it out, to have someone to confide in. As she comforts you, it feels like you are friends again, if only for a moment.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You got ready a long time ago. Your hair decorated with feathers and beads, face painted with white ceremonial patterns. In a few hours you would be joining the rest of the clan, to wish a farewell to the Metkayina hunters. The Tsahik would bless them with a prayer to Eywa, and after you sing your songs, the young men will leave. It was a tradition in your clan, that at the beginning of each year, the young hunters would travel by the water to an unfamiliar land. It was a test that every hunter had to pass, to learn to adapt in every situation and be able to stand for himself and for his allies. Sometimes, it would take them a few days to return back with a prey. Sometimes, it would last a full moon. It depended on Eywa’s guidance, and the hunters couldn’t return without receiving a blessing first.

Despite the value it held, the passage was still dangerous. It was painful for you to recall the instances when the groups returned with wounded or missing Na’vi. And although you were aware that it was Neteyam’s third time going on the hunt, you couldn't help but feel worried sick for him. Tonight, with the rest of your clan, you had to show your support, but your mind was contemplating not showing up at all. You didn’t want to see his face, afraid that it might make your heart break further.

There was still time for the ceremony, as you wandered off to the water, trying to calm down your nerves. It would be disrespectful not to go, you had to show up and pray to Eywa that she keeps Neteyam safe and sound. You’re so deep in your thoughts, it takes you a second to notice Mateä sitting down next to you. You force a small smile to greet him.

“Excited for tonight?” he gestures to the extra pieces of ceremonial clothing you’re wearing on your arms and legs.

“Just wanted to be ready in time,” you’re not sure how to respond. You knew Mateä your whole life, yet it feels awkward to be with him alone.

“I heard that you turned down the son of Toruk Makto,” Mateä emphasizes, you hum, “I will not lie to you, at first, when I heard about it, I was relieved. I thought that he doesn’t deserve you. But seeing you like this… it saddens me. I do not wish for you to be unhappy.”

“Thank you, Mateä,” you hang your head at his words.

“Listen, Y/N,” he says softly, “We have known each other since we were babies. And while I curse myself for not spending more of my time with you back then, I do not want to regret this chance too.”

You meet his eyes again, nervously. You knew him pretty well. When Mateä was sure about something, he confronted it head on. Whether it was a rejection or an acceptance, he wished to know the truth in order to move on.

“I always had my eye on you, Y/N,” he confesses, “What I didn’t realize that it was not just in a way one would look after their friend. It is shameful to admit but… it took me seeing you with another man to understand the true nature of my feelings. I like you, Y/N, and I wish to know if you feel the same way.”

You gulp down, tears filling up your eyes. The man you thought you could spend your life with was finally opening his heart to you, yet you didn’t want it. Your own heart belonged to somebody else. Oh Eywa, why couldn’t you enjoy what you had wished for?

“Don’t cry,” Mateä whispers, noticing the tears rolling down your cheeks, “Your heart belongs to him, doesn’t it?”

You can see the brave face he puts on, as you slowly nod your head. You feel so guilty and ashamed for admitting it to him. Mateä was really one of the only people in your life that you valued, and you were hurting him.

“I’m sorry,” you sniff, “If there was a way for me to make this better…”

“You don’t have to apologize, just don’t cry, okay?” he reaches out to wipe away your tears, and you nod again, “That is enough for me.”

You don’t feel like you even deserve his attention right now.

“Mateä, if I could take away the pain that I’m causing, you know I would in an instant,” you mean it.

"I know, Y/N. But you can't help who you love," he says softly, "Regardless of what you choose to do, just promise me that we can still be friends, alright?"

"Of course, Mateä, you mean a lot to me," you nod, grateful.

"Good,” he stands up with a small smile, “Now, let's go. We don't want to be late."

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You quietly take a seat next to Tsireya, who is anxiously watching Lo’ak from a distance. Despite knowing how important it is for Lo’ak to partake in the tradition, she can’t help but feel worried for him. You lay your hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

“Lo’ak is a skilled hunter. You know that Jake takes training very seriously,” you reassure her.

“You’re right,” she nods her head, then turns to face you, “You came with Mateä... Did you talk?”

You nod, pursing your lips together. It’s not difficult for Tsireya to realize what happened. It was only logical that you would reject Mateä because of your feelings for Neteyam.

“Oh, Y/N,” she lets out, pulling you in for a hug. You feel like it’s comforting not only you, but also her.

As the rhythm of the log drums slowly picks up, everyone falls quiet. The Tsahik makes her way to an open space, and the hunters quickly surround her in a circle, kneeling down. It’s then that you see Neteyam, wearing his headpiece and armor, with bow and arrows attached to his back. You can’t help but feel a twinge of worry for him but you push the feeling aside, afraid that it might ruin his luck.

When the Tsahik’s voice fills the air with a praying chant, the hunters begin to sway in unison, seeking the blessing and guidance of Eywa for their upcoming journey. With the rhythm of the log drums, you find yourself lost in the moment too, closing your eyes and letting yourself be carried away.

Eventually, when Tsahik stops, the hunters rise to their feet. As per practice, they must bid farewell to their loved ones, in case they may not return. You can’t help but feel nervous because this part of the ceremony is usually long, and Tsahik allows everyone to take their time. You know that soon enough you will watch Neteyam making his way to his family, and it hurts to know that he won’t be saying goodbye to you too. With every passing second, you feel more anxious, and all you want to do is get away from there. So, when the rest of the clan starts moving, you stand up to leave without even looking in his direction.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You rush through the trees, making your way into a small clearing, illuminated by the moonlight. You take a moment to breathe in and out with the sounds of nature, and eventually calm yourself down. When suddenly you hear a rustling of the leaves.

Your heart skips a beat as you see Neteyam making his way to you, with a mix of concern and confusion.

“Y/N, why did you run off?” he asks, as soon as he’s close enough for you to hear.

“Doesn’t matter,” you dismiss him, “Why are you here? You should be with your family now.”

“I already talked to my family,” Neteyam comes closer, and your breath catches in your throat, “But I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to you.”

“Neteyam,” you’re so confused at his behavior. Did he feel guilty because you looked upset? He shouldn’t be here with you right now.

“Y/N, why did you reject Mateä?” he asks suddenly, catching you off guard, “Tsireya told me.”

You don’t answer, holding his gaze. He hated rejecting girls, you can’t burden him now, before his hunt.

“Was it because of me?” he pushes.

“It does not matter, Neteyam,” you try to brush him off, “You have a hunt ahead of you, you shouldn’t be here right now. Shouldn’t be making your night about my stupid actions.”

“How can I not make this about you?” he says, irritated, “Everything is about you now, Y/N. Every moment of every night and day, doesn’t matter what I’m doing, my mind is occupied with the thoughts of you!”

“W-what?” you stutter, caught off guard.

“So for you to tell me ‘it doesn’t matter’ if you rejected Mateä for me… Of course, it matters. It matters to me, because... Because I see you,” he lets out, breathing loudly.

You stare in confusion, as Neteyam’s eyes jump all over your face, searching for a reaction. All you can do is think about how much you wanted him to say those words to you. To tell you how much he liked you, longed for you, the same way you did for him.

“I see you too, Neteyam,” you manage to whisper, reaching your hand to cup his cheek.

A loving smile breaks on his face, when Neteyam pulls you in for a kiss. He is so desperate to touch you, to know that it’s real. You’re real. Happiness overwhelms you, as you smile against his lips, your hands gently cupping his face.

“I’m yours,” he whispers, resting his forehead against yours.

“I’m yours forever,” you whisper back.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Did my best to upload this before my job interview tomorrow, so by the time I come back, I want you to leave your comments and tags!!! Seriously, I love that shit, it makes my heart melt. Especially when you submit questions

my 30k enemies to lovers fic (neteyam x ta'unui reader)

taglist: @ancientbeing10, @anm3mi ; @lovergirl-3000 ; @sunjayist ; @rensbby ; @okaylorrainee ; @cappsikle ; @raeeahn ; @yawneneteyam ; @oh-austin ; @midlife-crisisperson ; @teyums

4K notes · View notes

xomakara · 4 months ago

Text

Roomies With Benefits

(re-posting from my old account seulrinnie-rinrin/xomakara-secondary)

SUMMARY | You have no choice but to be roommates with San when there is a glitch in the leasing office’s system. The more time that you live together, the more that you both can’t help but want each other. PAIRING | San x Reader GENRE | non-idol!San, College AU, Roommate trope, fake dating trope, smut with some plot, protected sex (wrap it up everyone!), vaginal sex, oral sex, fingering RATING | Mature, 18+, NSFW, MDNI LENGTH | 7,380 words TAGLIST | -- NETWORKS | AUTHOR’S NOTE | I would not mind living with San (or any of the other members) if there was a glitch in the system. LOL. Hope you all enjoy, reblog, like, comment~ Love you all ❤️

"There has to be misunderstanding," You looked at the management team of your apartment complex. "There's no way that you could lease the unit to two people who signed two different leases at different times. Please tell me I'm not crazy."

"My system shows that both you and Mr Choi are on the lease..." The manager searched for something on his tablet. "I will double check with my secretary to confirm if everything is correct. We should have an answer by tomorrow afternoon. Until then, can you and Mr Choi share the unit?"

You shook your head. There was no way that you'd share the apartment with Choi San, the most popular guy on campus and your arch rival since freshman year. Okay, sure he was stupidly, insanely hot with a sexy brain to boot but he wasn't someone you would ever let into your personal space, much less share the same living space.

There was also the small fact that he was one of the most eligible bachelors at school and always getting girls all over him. He had dated many of them before they got tired of playing second fiddle to his social life or wanted to get closer to his family money. You had seen him flirting with women during lunch, talking to his other stupidly, insanely hot friends about how he couldn't wait to bang yet another girl later that night. Every time he turned around, some new girl was ogling at him and that infuriated you.

Not that you hadn't had your fair share of guys sliding into your DMs just because they were interested in you, trying to impress you with expensive gifts or showing up on campus with roses, candy and other 'cute' things just to see you smile and notice them. Sure you were the Queen Bee on campus, even with barely any effort on your part, but that didn't mean you needed everyone else telling you how pretty and desirable you were, did it?

No. You were perfectly fine being single, thank you very much.

But it seemed like this misunderstanding would force you to spend more time together. How terrible.

"Let's just share the apartment for one night." San spoke up, the manager giving him a small nod. "Tomorrow, we expect answers."

You walked out of the management office, a scowl on your face as you waited for the elevator. San was by your side, tapping his foot impatiently while keeping an eye on your reactions. You were tired and just didn't feel like arguing with him right now.

"Let's just get to the apartment and figure something out." San muttered next to you. "It's probably not a big deal."

You sighed. "If only it were that simple." You tried to find the quickest route to the apartment unit so you could get away from him.

The last thing you needed right now was to come across San and a lot of sexual tension going through the roof, only making you more irritable than you already were. You hated how badly you wanted him, hated yourself for reacting the way you did whenever he was near you. It was disgusting, embarrassing and it made you want to punch the wall.

Shit. This was bad. Really bad.

San noticed the look on your face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." You said as you approached the front door and opened it. You looked at the boxes that littered the living room area, both yours and his mingled together in a weird mixture of feminine and masculine decor.

He sighed and followed you inside. "Are you sure you're okay? Everything seems fine to me. What's the problem?"

"We need to share this apartment tonight." You stated matter-of-factly. "That means I'll be sleeping here with you. By tomorrow, the whole campus is going to talk about how the Queen Bee and Alpha Male hooked up. No way can that happen. My reputation is on the line."

"And what do you care about your reputation?" He asked, walking towards you. You backed up against the door, causing him to stop.

"You know I care about my image." You snapped back. "Besides, I've worked too hard to maintain my social status for me to lose it because of a mistake."

His eyes narrowed as he took in your features. His nostrils flared slightly, his gaze darkening with every passing second. You knew what he was doing and you wished you could say something, stop him from approaching you and taking you against the door like a predator chasing down its prey.

Your heartbeat accelerated and your body started to react in ways you never expected, long buried desires resurfacing once again, feelings stirring deep within your heart.

If he touched you right now, you wouldn't fight him. You'd let him take you and fuck you into oblivion until neither of you could walk. All you cared about was his lips on your neck, his hands running along your hips and thighs, your fingers entwined with his. You'd be content to go slow and explore your bodies for hours, waiting for the moment when he finally plunged into you, thrusting hard and fast until you couldn't take anymore.

Instead, you were stuck with San, who was staring at you with his hot brown eyes, and even though he didn't touch you, the longing in his stare burned hotter than the fire raging behind his irises. You were powerless to do anything but stand there, watching him silently and hoping that he would finally make his move.

But he didn't. He turned away and gestured to the door of the bedroom. "Take the room. I'll sleep on the couch tonight. Hopefully, tomorrow we can find out why there was a mix-up and we won't have to worry about this shit anymore."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" You asked hesitantly. He glanced at you, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly as he stared at you intently.

"Yeah, take it." San nodded. "Despite all the things you hear about me on campus, I don't go around sleeping with women without their consent. Even you, Queen Bee. I respect that. Just take the room."

"Thank you." You breathed softly, thankful for his generosity and maturity. With a slight sigh, you walked towards the bedroom and closed the door behind you. You locked it and crawled onto the bed, pulling the blanket over your body and laying there for a few seconds before turning off the lights.

You lay on the bed for a few minutes, wondering what had gotten into San. Why did he suddenly act so mature? And was it really possible that you weren't imagining things earlier? Did he actually desire you as well?

It felt like a heavy weight was lifted off your shoulders. Yes, maybe it was a mix-up and the leasing office really did mess up your contracts. Maybe, just maybe, everything would work out just fine.

With those thoughts filling your mind, you fell asleep quickly.

You woke up slowly, disoriented from the light pouring into the room. Your heart raced as your eyes adjusted to the sunlight. Slowly opening your eyes, you blinked several times, your eyes adjusting to the unfamiliar ceiling above you.

Getting up and unlocking the door to the bedroom to make your way to the kitchen, you looked at San's figure as he snoozed away on the couch. The covers were pulled up to his chin and his shirt was partially undone, exposing a sliver of chestnut skin.

For a moment, you just stood there and watched him sleep, the excitement from yesterday still lingering on your skin.

You started up the coffee machine, brewed a fresh pot and made your way to one of the boxes in the living one that had your clothes packed in. Careful to not wake San up, you closed the bathroom door behind you and locked it so that you could shower in peace.

After taking a quick shower, you dried yourself off and put on your clothes. You made your way back to the kitchen and poured yourself a cup of coffee, adding a spoonful of sugar to sweeten it a little. As you sipped on the delicious black liquid, you leaned against the counter and browsed on your phone. A minute passed before you heard the sound of footsteps on the wooden floor, followed by a yawn.

"Good morning." San said with a soft smile as you poured him a cup of coffee and slid it towards him.

"Morning." You replied. "After you get ready for the day, let's go down to the leasing office and see what they say."

"Sure." He said as he gulped down half his coffee, eyes trained on your form as you took another sip. You knew exactly what was going through his head and you didn't think he was going to be able to hide it from you anytime soon. The expression on his face was clear evidence that he liked what he saw.

About half an hour later, you and San both made your way to the leasing office. Walking past the crowds of students that congregated outside the main building, you arrived at the office and entered the queue. After a short wait, you finally reached the front desk and signed your name on the sign-in sheet.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience." The manager apologized again as he looked at you and San. "Unfortunately, there was a glitch in the system and I'm afraid that our records show that we mistakenly assigned you the same unit."

"There's no other units that are available? Not even in a different location?" San inquired, a frown etched across his brow.

"There's nothing left." The manager shook his head. "All the other units have already been filled by other students that are no longer living in the dorms, sorority or frat houses."

"When is the next available unit?" You asked, putting on your best poker face. "How long will it take for us to get one?"

The manager paused for a moment, seemingly torn between wanting to tell you that there wasn't another unit available and being worried about offending you by saying so. "I'm so very sorry but there won't be any available units until the next school year. You may have to find someplace else to live if you cannot accept that."

"That won't be necessary." San interrupted. "I'm sure Miss Y/N and I will figure something out."

"That's good." The manager gave you a sympathetic smile before looking back at San. "Well, if you need anything at all, please let me know. If you need help finding a new place, I'm happy to assist."

San nodded and gave the man a polite smile before turning towards you. "We should go. Let's head back to the apartment."

You followed him back to the elevator, ignoring all the curious glances that the both of you attracted. Some people didn't know why you two were sharing an apartment, others were just trying to catch a glimpse of San and you, others were already forming their opinions and thoughts of the two hottest people on campus and if they were really dating. Either way, everyone wanted to know the answers to these questions.

By the time you got to the apartment unit, the sun had almost set and nightfall was upon you. Both of you dumped your bags inside the apartment and decided to sit down on the couch.

"So..." San said, breaking the silence. "I guess we're going to spend our last year of university in the same unit..."

You nodded. "Yep."

"Let's try to work something out. Why don't you continue to stay in the bedroom and I'll stay on the couch for the time being?"

"I can't let you sleep on the couch forever, San." You protested.

"Then just let me stay in the bedroom until we find another solution." He suggested. "Unless you don't want to share the bed with me either?"

"I-I'm fine with sharing." You stammered out, avoiding eye contact with him. There was a nervous twitch dancing on the end of your lips as you felt your cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.

"What are you thinking about, Y/N?" San asked, bringing your attention back to him. His eyes flickered from side to side, peeking at your lips before landing on your eyes.

"Oh...nothing." You mumbled, averting your gaze. "I can already hear the rumours..."

"Then why don't we just date?" San suggested. "At least to the public. No one will bat an eye if we said that we moved in together because after being a couple for a few months. But in private, we'll just be two roommates. Nothing more."

"Maybe...maybe we should do that." You murmured softly. Your cheeks grew redder and your voice was barely audible. You could feel your heart pounding loudly in your chest as your pulse raced in anticipation of what San would say next.

"I promise I won't touch you unless you ask me to." San said softly. "And I won't demand anything sexual from you."

You swallowed heavily, biting your lip as you met San's intense gaze. "You...you're sure?"

"Of course I am." He said firmly. "I don't want to pressure you into doing anything that you aren't comfortable with. So I'll leave it up to you."

Tilting your head to the side, you tried to decide how to respond. If this was truly the only option you had, then perhaps dating San would work out. “Okay, fine.” You sighed, giving in. “We’ll try it. But if I ever start feeling uncomfortable or I don’t want to date you anymore, you better not hold it against me.”

"Deal, now why don't we start unpacking?" San suggested, standing up and walking towards the bedroom. "This is going to be our home for the next year. Let's make it a nice home, okay?"

He was right. This would be your home for the next year and you should make the most of it. Putting aside your worries for the moment, you grabbed your bag and followed San into the bedroom. Once you had unpacked your stuff, you sat down on the edge of the bed while San sorted out the rest of his belongings. You both then moved to the living room and settled on opposite sides of the couch.

"I can already see the look on your friends' faces when we tell them that we're 'dating'. They probably think that we're crazy and that we're playing games. They'll see right through us." You remarked.

"Then should we practice on making it look real?" San asked. "Or is that asking too much?"

“I don’t think I have it in me.” You shrugged. “But if it makes you feel better…”

With a smile plastered across his face, San leaned forward and kissed you on the lips. It wasn’t overly romantic and it was brief, but it showed enough of his intentions to get you to agree to his plan. You hadn’t expected that kissing him would make you feel tingly inside, but your stomach fluttered as he pressed his lips to yours. You could taste the remnants of coffee on his tongue and you couldn’t help but pull him closer to you, deepening the kiss. Before you knew it, you found yourself pinned to the sofa by San, unable to move or resist his grip.

"Y/N..." San whispered hoarsely. "Do you want to stop this or...?"

"I...don't know..." You confessed, not wanting to lie. "We can keep kissing...but nothing else tonight."

He looked into your eyes, a brief smile gracing his beautiful lips. "Okay, I could deal with only kissing." He paused for a moment, letting you adjust to the idea. "Though...if you change your mind, just give me a sign and I'll stop immediately."

Relieved, you smiled softly at San before nodding slightly. "Yeah, I'll let you know."

"Okay, then I'm going to kiss you some more." San purred, leaning in once again. "If you tell me to stop, I will."

His lips descended slowly over yours, igniting your body with passion. He tasted like coffee and mint toothpaste and he smelled amazing. His hands explored your waistline, slipping under the material of your shirt. All you wanted was to feel San’s skin against yours. To feel every inch of his muscular frame pressed against you. To inhale the scent of his cologne and bask in the warmth radiating off his body. With those thoughts in mind, you leaned forward and ran your fingers through his hair, pulling him tighter against you.

Your kisses became deeper, your breathing erratic as you moaned louder than you intended. Your hips arched upwards, pressing against San's crotch. A small groan escaped his throat as you began kissing him harder, your breath hot and ragged against his ear.

You weren't aware that your fingernails dug into his scalp as you felt him push against you, trying to make you moan louder. "Y/N..." San moaned as you bit down on his earlobe, sending chills down your spine. "We should stop...while we can."

You lifted your head, panting heavily as you gazed at San. "Yeah, yeah we should stop." You agreed, trying to steady your heartbeat.

Damn, living with San was going to be interesting.

That night you laid in bed under the covers as you turned your head to watch San snoozed next to you on top of the covers. You stared at his sleeping form for several minutes before realizing that you were staring at him. You smiled softly as you layed back down, curling up beside him. After a few moments, San opened his eyes and gazed at you.

"Are you awake?" He asked quietly.

"Mmhmm, yes I am." You responded softly. "Hard to sleep with someone lying next to you isn't it?"

San rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. "It certainly can be." He murmured. "But I've been doing it for so long that I just kind of accepted it."

"I guess I haven't gotten used to having someone next to me yet." You commented with a small chuckle.

"The Queen Bee is not used to having someone next to her?" San teased. "How strange."

Shaking your head, you smiled. "No, not at all. I know I get plenty of male attention being the Queen Bee on campus but I just turn everyone down. I guess it's because I prefer spending my time alone. Besides, the guys who are attracted to me are creeps anyway."

"I'm attracted to you." San chuckled. "Does that make me a creep?"

"There's no way you're attracted to me, Choi San." You replied, shaking your head again. "I'm not exactly your type."

"Who says you're not my type?" He countered. "All the other girls that try to get into my pants? You don't think I notice you?"

You sighed, rolling your eyes at San's persistence. He was determined to prove his point, despite the fact that you still disagreed with him. "Look, I'm flattered that you think I'm attractive but-"

"No, Y/N." San interrupted. "Just hear me out. You're beautiful, smart and funny. Plus, you don't put up with any crap from anyone. Do you know how rare that is?"

For the first time since San spoke, you stopped to think about his words. "Am I really that special?" You asked.

"You're pretty damn special, actually." San admitted. "I don't know why you don't think you're attractive if half the student body and myself fall at your feet."

Laughing lightly, you shook your head. "I think I'd rather spend my time alone than get wrapped up in relationships." You decided. "Besides, I'm not interested in hook ups."

"You didn't say that when we kissed earlier." San pointed out.

"I-it was different!" You protested. "A kiss doesn't mean I want to have sex with you!"

San smirked. "Why did you kiss me then? Just to test the waters?"

Blushing bright red, you ducked your head low as San reached out and gently stroked your cheek. "Not necessarily..." You muttered, glancing away.

"Don't be embarrassed by what happened earlier." San said, placing a finger underneath your chin and lifting your head. "I liked kissing you and I know you like kissing me too. If you don't want to do anything else tonight, then that's fine with me. But you need to at least admit that there's something between us."

Your heart pounded loudly in your ears as you fought back the desire to lean forward and kiss him. "So what do you suggest we do instead?" You asked.

"Well..." San trailed off. "There is one thing I've always wanted to do with you."

"Oh?" You asked.

"Mmhm." San nodded. "I was hoping that maybe you'd let me kiss you again."

A grin tugged at the corner of your mouth as you watched San's face light up. "I'm not opposed to another kiss." You admitted. "But..."

"But?" San prompted.

"I was thinking..." You trailed off, trying to find the right words. "Maybe we could just go slow and enjoy each other's company."

San regarded you for a moment before nodding. "Alright, I can do that." He said. "Tonight's the first night we live together so it'll be the perfect opportunity for us to get to know each other. We can take things easy and see where they lead us."

You placed a hand on San's cheek, tracing his soft features with your thumb. "I like the sound of that." You told him. "Now you can kiss me."

For the remainder of the night, you were lost in his kisses.

It had been several weeks since you and San started living together as roommates. In the comfort of your own home, the both of you led your private lives away from the prying eyes of others. Nowadays, the both of you would talk for hours on end about your day or complain about the latest episode of your favourite drama. You never thought that being able to converse with someone was such a relief, especially after a stressful week at work or class.

When the both of you were out in public together, you both played your parts as a couple convincingly. You'd hold hands with San, kiss him, blush when his hand slid lower than where it needed to be and even grab onto his arm whenever the conversation turned serious. Even San's friends were convinced that the both of you were dating and no one batted an eye when you came out of the bathroom in the middle of the party to hug San, accidentally brushing your breast against his arm or when he would wrap an arm around your waist to pull you close to him and kiss your forehead.

Friends would ask about your sex life but you clearly didn't have one. At least not yet. You were content spending the night in bed telling each other stories or just cuddling while watching television. Exchanging kisses every now and then but making sure to limit yourselves to making out and no further. It wasn't that you didn't want to have sex with San, it was just that you weren't ready for a relationship at this point in your life. Not to mention that you didn't want to rush into anything. If you took your time getting to know San better, it would make everything less awkward when the time finally came.

And then San's friend Wooyoung wanted to throw a small get-together at the apartment.

"Why does everyone want to throw a party here?" You complained as you walked into the kitchen. "Can't anyone take care of their own parties?"

"Scared that everyone will find out?" San teased you.

"How will they find out when our apartment has both of our stuff scattered everywhere?" You mumbled. "Our apartment literally looks like a couple. If anyone steps into the bedroom, I will murder someone."

San chuckled as he stood beside you, handing you a cup of tea. "I know you'd rather be curled up on the couch with a book but let's try to keep appearances up tonight. Okay?"

You sighed, taking the offered cup. "Fine."

Wooyoung had invited all of his friends and a few girls from the campus. Although you didn't want to mingle with the others, you did it for San's sake. But as the night progressed, you became increasingly bored. Most of the guys in attendance were there to ogle over the attractive women but San stuck close to you the entire time. The girls, on the other hand, kept flirting and vying for San's attention but he refused them all politely.

He only had eyes for you.

Sighing, you excused yourself from the room to use the restroom. After finishing your business, you left the restroon and tried looking for a seat but noticed that they were all taken. Everyone was drinking, eating, and conversing with each other. When San saw you standing there, he gestured you over to him, only to pull you into his lap.

"San!" You whispered, his hands resting on your hips.

"Shh...it's time to play house." San murmured huskily into your ear. "Need to keep up the charade."

You blushed deeply, glancing around at the amused stares of his friends. For the sake of San, you accepted his invitation to stay seated on his lap. At first, it seemed innocent enough, but soon you could feel San running a hand up and down your back, his soft fingers caressing your bare thigh. The tips of his fingers slowly inched higher until they brushed against the bottom of your skirt.

"San..." You whispered again, surprised by his sudden boldness.

"Can I kiss you, Y/N?" He breathed into your ear. "Please? I really want to kiss you right now."

Your breath hitched in your throat, knowing full well what he meant. Not that you were opposed to kissing San, you enjoyed the feel of his lips pressed against yours whenever you got the chance. But he'd never made a move on you like this before in public. Sure, you'd gotten hugs and a quick peck on the cheek from him for appearances sake but none of those kisses made your heart race like this.

"What do you think?" San whispered, pulling back from your ear long enough to meet your gaze.

"In front of everyone?" You questioned quietly.

"Baby, we need to give them a show so they can get up and leave the apartment." He reasoned. "Besides, I've been thinking about kissing you this whole day. And you looked so sexy today, dressed in that short skirt and that tight, sexy top. So yes, in front of everyone is exactly where I want to be kissing you."

With a soft sigh, you reluctantly nodded. "Alright, let's give them something to watch."

Slowly, San pulled you closer, placing his free hand on the nape of your neck, gently holding your head still. Then, with his mouth just inches away from yours, San whispered, "Kiss me, Y/N."

You closed your eyes and lowered your head, offering your lips to San without hesitation. In return, San captured your lips in a gentle kiss that melted your insides and made you gasp. Your mouths remained connected, devouring each other with lustful desire. There was no hesitation, no inhibitions; it was purely a display of raw lust and intense passion.

The way he held you, tenderly caressing your back, sending goosebumps all over your body and the pressure of his lips against yours sent shivers down your spine. All you wanted to do was to run your fingers through his messy, black hair and slip your arms around his neck, begging him to touch you wherever he pleased.

As if reading your mind, San broke the kiss, grinning as he rested his forehead against yours. "Well, are you satisfied?"

Hearing San speak like that caused your cheeks to burn red. "You could say that." You replied, a little breathless.

"Good." San grinned, lightly running his fingers down your side.

You heard a cough and you both looked up to see Wooyoung staring at the two of you with a smug grin on his face. "Sooooo, is this the cue for us to end the party and go home so that ya'll can fuck each other senseless? Because that's what I'm hearing."

San chuckled lightly as he rose to his feet, pulling you along with him. "Yep, I guess that is what we're doing. Time to shut the party down. Y/N is feeling tired."

"Tired, my ass." Wooyoung sneered, eyeing the two of you with amusement. "You guys are just horny. Look how the two of you can't keep your hands off of each other."

"Once you get a taste of pussy, you can't get enough of it." San commented and you couldn't help but bury your head in his shoulder out of sheer embarrassment. You looked up at San and he grinned down at you.

"Alright, folks. Party is over." You announced. "Go home so that I can have my boyfriend all to myself. Bye!"

You smiled brightly as you waved goodbye to everyone. Soon, the apartment was empty except for the two of you and it felt nice to finally be alone with San again. As soon as you sat on the couch, San's hands grabbed onto your thighs and pulled you closer to him.

"You don't have to pretend anymore, baby." San whispered in your ear, making your heart flutter uncontrollably. "All of these people aren't here to judge you. We can enjoy ourselves in our own little world."

He stroked your leg softly, trailing his fingers down the edge of your skirt.

"It feels good to not have to act like we have a charade going on." You murmured, smiling up at San.

"Why don't we make this charade real then?" San gave you a mischievous smile, unbuttoning your tight shirt and letting it fall to the floor. "Why don't we live in reality instead of this fantasy that we're putting on for everyone else?"

"San...what are you-"

But before you could finish your sentence, San reached up and cupped your face with his hands, giving you a deep, passionate kiss that left you breathless. Once he released your lips, you stared up at him with wide eyes. "Baby, I don't want to just kiss anymore. It's so hard for me to control myself around you. I want to throw you over the couch, tear your clothes off and fuck you until neither of us can move anymore."

"I know you want it too, Y/N. It shows in the way you look at me sometimes." San admitted, leaning down to give you another gentle kiss. "When you kiss me sometimes. When you wear these sexy clothes and don't think I'm not paying attention to you. I pay attention, I pay so much attention that I want to rip your clothes off and fuck you until you're screaming my name. I want you, baby. More than I ever thought possible. I want to lose myself in you. Take you any which way I please. Make you scream my name so loud that everyone within earshot knows who you belong to."

Fuck, you wanted this man. So bad that you ached in places that you never knew existed. Your body hummed with pleasure as you moaned against San's lips. "And why hold it in?" You whimpered, raising your hand to trace the outline of San's jawline.

"Because you're a queen that deserves to be treated like one." San growled, slowly slipping his tongue into your open mouth. "And if my queen wanted to wait and take things slow, then I would respect her wishes. I would wait until she wants me inside of her, filling her with the sweet warmth of my love."

You gasped as his warm tongue slid over yours. His kiss was different from the ones you shared in the past. Now, it wasn't as if you two were strangers; there was an unspoken connection between you two that grew deeper with every passing second. "And now?"

"I want you, Y/N. I want you more than anything in this world." San rasped. "Tonight, I want you in ways that I haven't even imagined before. You've made me realize that there are a lot of things I've never experienced in life, and now that I have you, I plan on experiencing everything."

Your heart swelled in your chest as you gazed at San with longing. You leaned forward, pressing your lips against San's once again, wanting nothing more than to be in his embrace forever.

This. Was. It.

"I want you too." You mumbled against his lips. "Every part of you, San."

A single hand ran through your hair, tugging gently while the other caressed your cheekbone. Your hands grasped the sides of his shirt, gently pulling it upward until it fell to the floor with a thud.

"Oh God, baby." San moaned as you kissed your way down his neck, leaving a trail of fire-like kisses along his collar bone. When you finally stopped teasing him, you placed your palms against his muscular stomach and ran them downward until you reached the waistband of his jeans. Slowly, you unzipped his pants, revealing his hard length for the very first time.

"San...you're so beautiful." You breathed, caressing his shaft with trembling fingers. "I've always loved the way you smell, but seeing you with your pants undone, sporting a cock so big and thick in front of me has made me a complete mess."

He groaned as you took his dick into your hand, admiring the thickness and length of it. It was perfectly shaped and there was a huge vein pulsating down its center, stretching out towards the tip of his erection. His dick was so perfect, so breathtaking, that you had a difficult time keeping yourself from taking him into your mouth and sucking on it.

Instead, you cupped his balls in one hand and began massaging them with the other, causing him to groan even louder.

"Are you trying to drive me crazy?" He asked in between pants.

"Is it working?" You teased.

"Yes..." He muttered through clenched teeth. "More, baby. Please, give me more."

His words fueled your already raging desire for him. You squeezed his balls harder, eliciting a low moan from him. You dropped to your knees and started to pull his underwear down until they pooled at his ankles. San threw his head back, moaning louder as your mouth descended upon his cock, tasting the salty essence of pre-cum as you engulfed the entirety of him in your mouth.

"You're such a good girl." San moaned, running his hands through your hair as you pleasured him. "So eager to please. So eager to swallow my cum, just like you swallowed all of me. That's it, Y/N. Suck it like you mean it. Suck it like you fucking love it."

Breathing heavily, you licked the head of his dick, humming as you continued to suck on him. The taste of him was intoxicating, addicting, almost like drinking your favorite cocktail. Each time you slid your mouth further down, taking him deeper into your throat, you felt yourself getting lost in his intoxicating scent.

Soon, you found yourself drooling over the sight of his dick sliding between your lips. And as you looked up at him with hooded eyes, you noticed the way he looked at you. Like you were his entire universe. Like you were meant to be his.

"Please..." San whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "Take it all."

You hummed against him, continuing to stroke him in a circular motion with your hand as you kept up with your ministrations with your mouth. You could feel him getting close to climax, so you slowed down, taking his dick out of your mouth. "Cum for me, San. Coat my throat with your cum."

You wanted him to cum so badly. You wanted him to fill your mouth with his semen so that you could drink it down greedily. "Let it flow, San. Let it all flow down my throat."

A few seconds later, you heard San release a strangled gasp. A second after that, he flooded your mouth with his cum, shooting stream after stream down your throat.

It didn't matter if you weren't prepared for it. All that mattered was that San came, and that he did it because of you.

As he pumped out the last of his semen into your mouth, you felt the vibrations in his dick as he became still. A moment later, you took the head of his dick into your mouth, sucking the remaining cum off of him. Then, you raised your head and looked up at San, panting slightly as he tried to catch his breath.

"Did I do good?" You asked, tilting your head to the side as you watched him carefully.

"You blew me away, baby." San chuckled, reaching out to touch your cheek. "And now I really want to fuck you."

"Mmm, okay." You nodded. "That sounds like a great idea."

With a wicked grin, San wrapped his arms around your waist and picked you up off the ground, carrying you over to the bedroom. Once he laid you down on the bed, he climbed atop you, kissing your forehead, his hands pulling off the last of your clothes. After that, his lips followed their path southward, lingering against your skin as his mouth moved down to tease your breasts.

Once his lips latched onto your nipples, he began sucking gently on them, occasionally releasing them to circle around them with his tongue. At the same time, his fingers began circling around your core, his thumb dipping between your folds and pushing into you with soft, tender strokes.

"Ahh..." You cried out as your entire body began to tingle. "S-San!"

"Tell me what you want, Y/N." San murmured against your breast. "Tell me how you want me to fuck you."

Gathering all of your courage, you pulled his face upwards and locked eyes with him. "Do whatever you want with me, San. Do whatever you need to do to get you off. Fuck me however you want. But please...fuck me hard."

At the sound of your begging, San laughed softly and said, "Well, when you put it that way...you make it very difficult to refuse."

Grabbing a condom out of the nightstand drawer, he ripped it open with his teeth, using his other hand to roll it down his throbbing member. Soon enough, he positioned himself between your legs and settled himself on top of you, sinking into your wet heat with one thrust.

It was the best feeling you'd ever experienced. Being completely filled by this man. This man who you desperately wanted to claim as your own.

San grabbed your wrists, pinning them over your head as he started to pump his hips, slowly. "God, you feel amazing." He grunted. "You're so tight around me. So hot. So fucking hot. I can't believe that I'm finally here, buried deep inside of you. Your pussy is tighter than I could have ever dreamed of. How is that even possible?"

"Fuck, San..." You panted, rocking your hips underneath him. "Keep going."

"Okay." San replied, smiling as he pushed into you harder. "You want it harder? Okay, I'll give it to you."

One of San's hands went to your hip, gripping you tightly as he slammed into you. His other hand gripped your hair, bringing your face closer to his as he bit down on your shoulder. "Fuck, baby." He whispered. "Your tits look amazing bouncing in the air."

"Does it feel good, Y/N?" He whispered, pushing into you even harder. "Tell me what you like. Tell me what you want me to do."

"Ahhh..." You cried out. "I like this, San. Just keep doing this. Keep doing exactly what you're doing."

His lips left your shoulder and traveled to your ear where he nibbled lightly on your lobe. "I love the way you say my name." He murmured, brushing his nose across your cheek. "It's so sexy. So, so fucking sexy."

He then trailed kisses down your neck, pausing to kiss and suck your collar bone as he continued to plunge into you. Before long, he was running his lips back up to your ear, whispering against it. "Y/N, are you ready for me to take you to heaven and back? Because I am. I am right now. As soon as you let go, I'll take you to paradise and fuck you until we both pass out from exhaustion."

"Oh god, San..." You whimpered, tightening your thighs around him. "Take me there. Take me to paradise. Don't stop fucking me. Never stop fucking me. Don't you dare stop fucking me."

"Never." He agreed, running his hand over your ass as he increased his pace, slamming into you over and over again. "I don't ever plan on stopping."

"Yes, yes, yes!" You screamed, burying your head into the pillow beneath you as San increased his speed yet again. You dug your nails into the mattress as you panted loudly, attempting to regain your breath. "San, oh god, San!"

"Cum for me, baby." He panted against your ear. "Can you cum for me?"

"Yes!" You cried out, arching your back and grabbing hold of the sheets, wrapping your fingers around them. "I'm coming! Oh god, I'm coming!"

A few seconds later, San's entire body stiffened and his dick began pulsating inside of you. For a brief moment, his cock twitched as he held onto you for dear life before the orgasm hit him and washed over him. He fell forward onto your chest, gasping for breath as you clung to him. When he caught his breath, he pulled out of you, sitting upright on the bed next to you and pulled the condom off of his dick. With a small smile, he tossed it onto the floor, then collapsed beside you, spooning you from behind.

After several minutes, you finally recovered from your near death experience and opened your eyes. You smiled softly as you saw San lying naked next to you.

"Hey." He murmured, brushing his fingertips along your arm. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." You assured him, snuggling into him.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" San asked, stroking your arm with his thumb.

"No, you didn't hurt me." You giggled. "Actually, it felt pretty damn amazing."

"I'm glad." San sighed. "And to think that we've been living together all this time and haven't done this. We definitely need to remedy that situation."

You couldn't help but laugh as you pressed a kiss to his lips. "And how do you propose we do that?"

"Anytime, anywhere." San grinned. "I don't care. As long as it involves you and me and lots of sex."

"Oh, we can definitely work with that." You giggled. "Speaking of which...I'm kind of curious about something."

"What's that?" San asked, running his hand up and down your thigh.

"Now that this whole thing has happened...are we still playing pretend or...?"

"We're not pretending anymore, Y/N." San interrupted you. "From now on, you're mine and I'm yours."

You swallowed nervously. "Yours?"

"I'm saying that we're together, baby." San explained, pulling you in close. "For real this time. No more games. No more pretending."

You smiled softly, resting your head against San's chest. "That makes me really happy, San."

"Now that that's settled," he murmured against your neck, "how about we get this night started again? Because I know I can't wait any longer to fuck you again."

"San!" You let out a laugh as you squirmed in his arms. "Don't you dare."

"...Too late." San smirked as he slid into you. "I told you that I wouldn't stop until I fucked you again. And I meant every word."

And he certainly wasn't kidding.

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m1ckeyb3rry · 5 months ago

Note

Hello,

I have a writing prompt for Michael Kaiser (Blue Lock): Kaiser gets into a pr relationship with an actress and they eventually bond and fall in love.

I think he would have a hard time because of his feelings of worthlessness, but this guy has so much potential, I swear, I love him so much.

If you want to go for a "dark side of Hollywood" type of concept, imagine: a young girl who was raised under the pressure of becoming "the perfect star" and surrounded by the chaos of the industry (Idk, the movie Black Swan comes to mind, or the typical representation of Marilyn's life, something along the lines). I think he could bond with someone who is in a similar mind space as him, but who externalizes it differently, remaining kind and such. He definitely needs someone who is empathetic and can see through his insecurities, and I really like the concept of two characters who are hurt helping each other heal.

If you don't want that much drama, scratch the idea of a hurt oc. Think about someone with an "entrepreneur" mindset: someone ambitious, confident, and level headed, who (again) is empathetic and would call him out and help him grow (I'm thinking about sae, but emotionally competent lol).

You don't really have to go for any of this though, it's just meant to get you inspired to write something for my boy Kaiser. I hope it's not too much. Also, there's no rush at all!!

Thank you in advance. I hope you have a good day 🩷

── THE INSTRUMENT

Synopsis: Michael Kaiser is like a rose, and you are the songbird he cannot bear to lose.

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Kaiser x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 6.8k

Content Warnings: fake dating trope, implied/referenced abuse, call me tabito karasu the way i assassinate kaiser’s character in this, open ending, relationship dynamics many would consider…interesting…

A/N: hiiii anon ty for requesting!! i hope that i wrote kaiser in a somewhat satisfactory way 😫 this is my first time writing for him so idk if i got him right 😓 also i have NO idea why but for some reason i decided to write this in the present tense which i literally have never done?? so if it sounds off that’s why 💔 i’m so sorry i really don’t know what possessed me SKDJFSHKL

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

It’s hot and like a bruise, your first phone call with Michael Kaiser. He’s that brand of aggravating and just shy of painful to speak with; morbidly, you wish for the conversation to manifest as some kind of actual injury, perhaps on your upper arm, so you can poke at it until it is tender and blooming. But of course, that sort of thing isn’t possible, so you amuse yourself by tapping your fingers against the counter and considering what you might eat for dinner.

“Did you hear me?” he snaps when you do not respond to his proposition immediately. He speaks with an accent, clipped and short, lending severity to his words even when he’s saying nothing of note. “Miss L/N. It’s in both of our best interests to cooperate.”

He’s not wrong about this. It’s the only reason you’ve stayed on the call for as long as you have — it’s in your best interest. It’s the same for him, too, and the thought almost makes you laugh, because who would’ve expected your interests and his to ever align?

“Of course I heard you,” you say, twisting open your bottle of water, taking a sip and idly wondering if he can hear an accent when you speak, too. It’s difficult for you to notice your own, but maybe to him, you sound as odd as he does to you. “You should learn patience, Mr. Kaiser. Such a heavy request you’re making of me, and yet you demand my answer immediately?”

He huffs. “It’s not something you need to dwell on.”

“It might be,” you say, though it’s not at all. Your mind was made up the moment he asked; everything after that has been nothing more than a ploy to irritate him. You’re good at that, at irritating people. Michael Kaiser is not an exception.

“Miss L/N,” he says again, something like a darker version of pleading creeping into his tone. “Your answer. Now.”

“Well, you already knew before you asked, didn’t you? Naturally, I’ll do it,” you say. “It’s a mutually beneficial partnership. Though I expect you to really try your best, Mr. Kaiser, or else it’ll all be for naught.”

“I could say the same to you,” he says.

“Between the two of us, who is the actress?” you say, chuckling when he is silent. “I am sure that I will be convincing. It’s you who I worry for. Hiding your true feelings has never been one of your strengths, has it? Or you wouldn’t be speaking to me at all.”

“Shut up,” he says after a moment has passed. “I doubt your acting skills are anything to brag about.”

“I know you’ve watched my movies,” you say, and when he doesn’t refute this, you beam. “Have you really?”

“Only because someone I know suggested I should,” he says. “If I want to love you, then I have to understand you. That’s what he told me.”

“And what did you think?” you say.

“I thought that I don’t plan to love you at all, and then I told him as much,” he says, the force of his eye roll transmitting even over the phone. You’re not sure if he’s acting deliberately obtuse or if he really thinks you care about this inane conversation he’s describing, but either way you sigh, because his answer is so telling of his personality.

“I was talking about my movies,” you say.

“I don’t prefer the genre,” he says, and then he’s hanging up with a promise to call you later, if he is so inclined. He doesn’t tell you not to call him, but you feel like he implies it, so you vow to set your phone aside and pay him no mind for the rest of your evening.

I’m dating Michael Kaiser, you type in the body of your email to your manager, who you are certain will be so delighted by this news that he will combust spontaneously upon hearing it. You want to type it again, this unbelievable turn of events, so you do. I’m dating Michael Kaiser. Then you delete the repetition, reverting it once again into a formal email, instead of a giddy celebration over an event which should not prompt giddiness or anything resembling it.

It’s a relationship meant to salvage his ruined reputation and boost your career in one fell swoop, and so it’s a relationship that can only work if it’s formed between you two in particular. He, who is a foul-mouthed soccer prodigy, known better for his crass treatment of others than any actual skills he may possess, and you, a rising star who will do anything to be famous and are already of a serviceable status to be seen with him.

Despite your burst of excitement, the prospect of dating Michael Kaiser isn’t actually a thrilling one. The rumors of his horrid demeanor aren’t rumors, and you know this well, albeit through secondhand accounts. Cruelty is the way that he operates, his so-to-speak basal mode, and because it is so intrinsic to his being, you do not fancy that he will deviate from that malicious rule, even for you.

But you are accustomed to a false existence. Donning a facade and masquerading as a person who you are not is the only thing you are good at, are good for, and this time is no different than every other. You will put on the mask of a woman who is loved by Michael Kaiser, who has tamed that mad emperor and turned him into her sweet pet, and you will once again fool the world into believing you.

He’s doing an interview today. You’re only aware because he texts you right before and tells you to turn on the TV to a channel you’d never choose if you had a say in the matter. But you’re intrigued and he refuses to explain further, so you do as he commands and find yourself watching as he reclines back in a leather armchair and smirks at the host, who’s clearly nervous.

She’s pretty, her hands shaking but her expression serious. You’ve never seen her before, which means she’s new. Of course, that’s not a surprise; only someone very inexperienced or very stupid would invite Michael Kaiser to their show, and she does not seem to be particularly stupid, so her affliction is the first.

“Um, Mr. Kaiser, it’s a pleasure to have you with us,” she says, like she cannot quite believe that he is actually there, or like she is afraid of what he might take offense at, or some combination of the two.

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” he says, all roguish and self-assured, which is such a contrast to his typically surly demeanor that you have to commend the girl for keeping her composure.

They speak at length about his soccer career, throwing around words you do not understand and do not care to. It’s so boring you almost power down the television and tell him you think as much, but then the girl clears her throat, her face turning a comical shade of red as her fists clench the paper she’s been reading off of.

“This last question is from our viewers, but it’s personal, so if you don’t want to answer, then it’s not a problem,” she says, squirming in her chair, probably hoping he does not humiliate her. It will be bad for her career if he does, even if by now everyone knows what kind of person he is.

“Go on, then. I feel like we’ve built a rapport here, so I don’t mind it as much if it’s from you,” he says. It’s a perfectly packaged sentiment. His PR team must have tortured him into this new persona. You try to imagine it — it’s definitely a humorous thought, picturing the Bastard München representative slamming Michael Kaiser’s face into a bowl of water for every snarky comment he makes. Unrealistic, though. They would never risk compromising his performance like that.

“There’s rumors that you’re seeing Y/N L/N, the actress. A source who claims to be close to you both mentioned it online, and people can’t stop talking about the possibility. Neither you nor Miss L/N have addressed it, though, and our viewers were hoping you might…?” She cringes back, already preparing for one of his tirades, but he only smiles genially and winks at the camera. You remind yourself to tell him later that he’s laying it on too thick, even if you are enjoying this new character that he’s playing up for the sake of it.

“Y/N L/N? I’m shocked that you think I’m handsome enough to date someone like her,” he says. Your phone buzzes — it’s your manager, crowing about how impressed he is with your ‘boyfriend’ and his presence of mind.

“So it’s a no?” the interviewer says, almost hopefully. He’s mysterious when he shrugs, mysterious and more than a little coy, as if she’s flattering him and he’s too shy to accept the praise.

“If Miss L/N ever deems me to be worthy of her, then it’s a yes in a heartbeat,” he says. It’s an excellent setup for his redemption, and the girl plays into it so beautifully that you tell your manager to send her flowers or some chocolate at the earliest possible opportunity.

“I think that you’ve shown yourself to be an excellent candidate today,” she says.

“Have I? I’ve really been trying to prove myself,” he says. Dreamy sighs ripple through the live studio audience. Someone whistles. It’s all very romantic and fairy-tale-esque, although he is far from being any kind of prince.

“You’re doing great,” the girl assures him. “I’m sure that, if Miss L/N is watching, she’ll have no choice but to be smitten.”

“If she’s watching? Oh, the thought didn’t even cross my mind,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. You shouldn’t have doubted him and his audacity; he’s fallen into the role as if he were born to play it. “How embarrassing. I’ve just confessed to her on live television without even knowing if she’s interested…”

He’s actually blushing. You are doubly awed — he’s a natural-born talent. It’s a shame that he’s devoted to soccer; he could make it out like a bandit in the acting industry.

“No, no, don’t be embarrassed. How could she ever reject someone like you?” she assures him. How, indeed! At the moment, you are so pleased that you could kiss him. He’s better than any co-star you’ve ever had to work with, in that he is making your job exponentially easier instead of exponentially more difficult.

“If she really is watching, then I can only pray she heard you say that part,” he says, waving in greeting, presumably at you. “Hello, Miss L/N. I really admire you, so if you find me at all agreeable, then I would quite like it if you would say yes to the date I’m going to ask you on.”

He’s made the world swoon and your social media mentions triple. People are begging you to say yes, to give him a chance, to see how he has changed. They want to live through you, and you will let them.

When he calls you, you tell him you were thrilled by his performance. This causes him to shoot back that he finds you insufferable and condescending, to which you say that it’s what makes you and him such a perfect pair. Then you recite an address, and he asks you what you’re going on about. You answer that it is the place where you will have your first date, and then you hang up before he can respond, just so that you can deny him the chance to do it to you first.

Cameras flash in your faces as you enter the restaurant your manager has booked a reservation at. Michael Kaiser’s arm is wrapped around your waist, and it’s nauseatingly domestic, the kind of scene that would be the cover for one of those coming-of-age movies your agent loves booking for you. You wait for the frantic sound of camera shutters to slow, and then you tug on his sleeve.

“What is it?” he says. It’s quiet enough that no one else can hear, which is why it’s devoid of any warmth, but you are unruffled.

“Your tie,” you say. “It’s not crooked, but we will pretend that it is, and I’ll fix it so that there is something sweet to accompany the tabloid articles that will come out tomorrow.”

Your hands reach for his neck, and he does something you do not comprehend — flinching back, he shakes his head. When he realizes he’s done this, he grits his teeth, like the anger can make up for the temporary weakness. You do not press the issue, merely furrowing your brow and gazing up at him, doing your best to ensure that your eyes remain soft, so that the exchange is not misinterpreted by the parasites around you.

“No,” he says. “Do something else, but leave my tie alone.”

“Alright,” you say. It’s not sensible for you to argue, and anyways it doesn’t matter much what you are doing, as long as you are doing something. Humming to yourself, you adjust the lapels of his jacket. The cameras go off again. You pretend like you do not notice, like the world consists of only you two, and then you interlace your fingers with his, allowing him to drag you into the restaurant behind him.

It’s your turn to be interviewed. You’re wearing a dress, your legs crossed at the ankles — it’s demure and practical and prevents anyone from leering at you, so it’s been a habit of yours for quite a while. The interviewer is female, though, which calms you a bit. She’s older, around your mother’s age, and the wrinkles on her forehead remind you that you should call your parents and arrange for them to meet your doting boyfriend.

“Miss L/N, I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!” the woman says. You think her name may be Anne, but she hasn’t introduced herself to you yet, so you’re not certain.

“You are too kind. If anything, it’s an honor for me to be here,” you say. The audience really likes that, when you are humble and shy and so darling. It’s palatable and easy for them to digest, or that’s what your manager tells you.

“Tell us about your upcoming projects,” she says after giving you the appropriate amount of praise for your charming personality.

“I’m currently shooting a new romantic comedy, but I’m afraid it’s all very hush-hush, so I can’t say too much about it. I think you all will really enjoy it, though, and I’m looking forward to the day that we can discuss it at length,” you say.

The conversation goes on like that for a bit, but you know she’s going through the motions because she has to, not because she wants to. There’s only one question she cares to ask, but if she just talks to you about your boyfriend and not your own accomplishments, then she’ll be blasted online as an anti-feminist. You hear quite frequently that this is akin to suicide in the world of marketing, so you can’t blame her.

That doesn’t stop you from having some fun. When she’s exhausted every possible avenue of questioning you about your future plans and past successes, you make as if you’re going to stand up and leave. Panic leaps across her face, and you snicker.

“We’ve spoken at such length about my acting career. You can’t possibly have any more questions about it, hm? You probably know more than my manager does!” Your attitude is balanced out by the joke. The audience laughs. It’s a fine line that you walk, but if you do not have the chance to act sharper every now and again, you believe you will die — internally if not externally — so you take such risks when you can justify them to yourself.

“You’re dating Michael Kaiser now, aren’t you?” she says. It’s a rancid curiosity she hides with a motherly type of concern. You brush off your legs, recross them, and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

“I am,” you say. You don’t have to play the games that he did; you both are established now. Official. A bona-fide couple. Anyways, it’s more appealing if you are outright with it.

“How has that been? You’ve really made a difference in that young man’s life, it seems,” she says.

The best way to lie is to tell the truth. “Yes, I suppose I have, but he has made an equal difference in mine. He is as good for me as I am for him; truly, I never understood what it meant when my parents called each other their ‘better halves’ until we met.”

In an hour, there will be thousands of posts online about this. If Y/N and Michael break up, then I don’t believe in love anymore! Maybe soulmates are real! Couple goals! These are the kinds of captions you are anticipating. The two of you will send screenshots to one another and laugh about how gullible the world is, and then you will strategically plan which comments to like and posts to favorite so that your message goes through. That’s the extent of your relationship with him, really, at least when the two of you are alone. The detachedness makes things much easier than they otherwise would be.

“There’s a popular theory going around that the two of you have had a secret wedding already. Is it true? Am I speaking to Mrs. Kaiser at the moment?” she says, eyes glittering like a vulture’s. She’s ready to pounce on any hesitation, any brief indecision that you might show, but you have spent more time in the spotlight than in your own parents’ home, so you don’t even waver.

“Marriage! I think we’re a bit too early in our relationship to be considering such things, and a bit too early in our lives to be rushing into major decisions like that,” you say. “If and when the time comes, you’ll be the first to know, but it won’t be for a while.”

It won’t be at all, actually. This relationship is not going to last for more than another month. Once the buzz surrounding you two dies, you and he will quietly split. It’ll be as if you never met in the first place.

Your phone rings as you’re leaving the studio. The caller ID says that it is Michael Kaiser, and the thought that he was watching your interview in the same way you watched his makes you feel odd.

“Hello?” you say.

“I’m not gonna marry you. Never-fucking-ever. If you’re expecting a ring, then put it out of your mind.”

“I wasn’t,” you say. “How else would you have liked me to answer that question?”

“Fuck if I know.”

Neither of you hang up on the other — you don’t think you can summon the wherewithal to, which is out of character for him but typical for you — though you both also don’t speak any further. He stays on the line while you drive home, breathing softly like he is sleeping, but you are sure that he is not. The point of it is lost on you, but then you drive into a tunnel and the call ends on its own, so it’s moot anyways.

Your parents are excited to meet Michael Kaiser. They’ve read up on him extensively, watched all his interviews and even his game highlights. Your mother calls you the night before just so she can gush to you about how handsome he is, how you’ve really done well for yourself this time around. Her approval is nice to have, though superfluous, like a luxury soap or perfume.

Your father is the one who suggests you all go golfing. You don’t know how to play, and neither does your mother, but you recognize it’s his attempt at connecting with who he thinks is your boyfriend, so you accept. You’re not sure if Michael Kaiser knows how to play golf, or really anything besides soccer, but he is game enough to come that you suppose he must.

It’s warm out, the sun beating down on your father’s brow as he lines up the ball with his club. Michael Kaiser stands on his left, and you think he’s somehow beautiful in this lighting. Not beautiful how your many attractive coworkers are, but in a manner which is distinctly him and therefore utterly irreproducible. His body is lean and graceful, his hair shaggy and gold, though he’s dyed the tips blue in what you’re sure is a statement. The shade matches his eyes, and also the inked roses on his neck. You have long ago come to the conclusion that the flowers are also a part of that same statement, but you have yet to discover what that statement might be.

“He’s an improvement from that last boyfriend of yours,” your mother says, leaning back so that she can pour the last few drops of soda from her empty can into her throat. You and her are sitting together in the golf cart, seeking refuge in the shade of its plastic roof, sharing the drinks that your father had bought for himself and forgotten about the instant he stepped onto the golf course.

“He is,” you say. That’s not an exaggeration, nor is it something incredible. Your last boyfriend was an old classmate of yours who loved your celebrity more than he loved you. Michael Kaiser doesn’t love you, either, but he is honest about it, and you do not love him back, so there is no resentment between you and him.

“I like the way he looks at you,” your mother says. There’s a hiss as she opens a new can of soda. It’s a vice, but whenever you remind her of it, she dismisses you. She wants to have fun while she’s on this earth, apparently. Maybe drinking five cans of soda in one sitting means her life will be shorter, but life without soda isn’t worth living anyways, or something like that. The reasoning is stupid, but you know she is loyal to it, so you have to accept it. “It’s refreshing. So gentle. You’ll be talking to someone else, and he’ll just be staring at you like he can’t quite believe you’re his.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” you say.

Your mother is about to say something else, but she is interrupted by a loud whoop. Michael Kaiser has hit a hole-in-one, and before you can tell him to stop embarrassing himself, your father is cheering, throwing his arms around him and calling him son.

“Your father likes him, too,” your mother said.

“Oh, he needs to stop that! I can’t believe he’s making things so awkward,” you say, getting up to reprimand him before realizing that there is an entirely foreign sheen to Michael Kaiser’s eyes as he rests his chin on your father’s shoulder. He is not quite smiling, but it is a close approximation of the expression, and when your father ruffles his hair and says that it may have been beginner’s luck but he’s proud regardless, the curve of his lips becomes deeper.

You don’t understand, but you don’t need to. You may have facilitated it, but the moment belongs to him, and your presence is as unwanted as it is unnecessary.

You sit back down and take a sip of your mother’s soda. She grins knowingly and says that you look like you are in love, too. You don’t have the heart to tell her the truth, so you hum noncommittally and say that you might be.

You are growing fond of Michael Kaiser. It isn’t a slow realization — actually, it hits you very suddenly one day. He hands you a bouquet of flowers before opening the passenger door of his car for you. You ask him why he’s brought you peonies instead of roses, and he says it’s because he despises roses. It’s such an absurd answer and he says it with such a straight face that you have to cough in order to disguise your choked laughter.

“Those must be some other kind of flower, then,” you say, pointing at but not touching his tattoos, at the delicate petals which fold over his pulse, azure and bright and silky.

“No, those are roses,” he says, his knuckles growing white on the steering wheel. Normally, you wouldn’t ask further, but today you want to prod at his bruise of an existence, so you turn the music down and hug the peonies to your chest.

“But you despise roses,” you say.

“It’s a good reminder,” he says. “No flower lies quite as well as a rose does.”

That is when you are certain that you are partial to him. It is an unavoidable fact and also a treacherous one, but true notwithstanding.

You put the peonies in a vase of water when you get home that night and hope they never die, although you know that they will be gone within the week. It’s how time works. The peonies will die and you two will break up and you’ll have nothing but a bare kitchen counter and thoughts of his intricacies to remember him by.

There are no paparazzi around on the night when he wraps your hands around his throat. You are alone with him, sequestered away in the living room of his mansion, a bowl of popcorn shoved between the two of you while a movie plays in the background. This seclusion defeats the original purpose of the relationship entirely, but you sense that that original purpose is no longer fully applicable, so you do not refuse when he calls you and demands you come.

There’s a blanket tossed over your legs, the brilliant colors of his soccer club’s emblem faded from repeated washes. It’s warm, and if you were not busily eating most of the popcorn, you’d pull it up around your shoulders. As for Michael Kaiser, he’s facing the screen, his hair tied back in a knot, a pair of glasses resting on the bridge of his nose and reflecting the visage of the lead actress as she laughs. You observe him as you snack. You’ve seen this movie before and didn’t really like it, so you’re not missing much. He’s more interesting by far.

“I know that woman,” you say, so that he has to acknowledge you.

“Hm,” he says.

“She’s a jerk,” you say.

“Sounds like your kind of company,” he says. You scoff, because he’s not wrong. He keeps watching the movie, and you keep watching him, until a thought occurs to you.

“Can I call you Michael? Even when it’s just us two,” you ask. He purses his lips. The actress screams. Her character has just died, but the scene is poorly shot and even more poorly acted, so it’s not as heart-wrenching as it should be. You would’ve done better, but your agent doesn’t want you taking any gory roles, and your manager agrees. In his professional opinion, it’ll ruin the doll-like persona you’ve spent so long cultivating. He’s probably right. It’s hard to adore a doll once you’ve watched it die so gruesomely.

“You can do whatever you want,” he says.

“Okay,” you say, swallowing another mouthful of popcorn, the salt lingering on your tongue long after the popcorn itself is gone. “Michael.”

“Yes?” he says.

“Nothing,” you say. “I just wanted to say your name.”

“Okay,” he says. “Y/N?”

He’s never called you that in private. Of course, when you’re out and about, he must refer to you with such familiarity, but in private you’ve never been anything but Miss L/N. It’s a change but a good one. You don’t want to ever be Miss L/N again. Not to him.

“Yes?” you say.

“I’m trying to watch this movie,” he says. “It has high ratings, so be quiet and allow me to finish.”

“It’s shitty,” you say, yawning and leaning back against the mountain of pillows you’ve created for yourself. “Overly gratuitous with its use of fake blood.”

“Right, because that’s a cardinal sin,” he says dryly.

“Sorry, but it’s hard to enjoy films when you know how they’re made,” you say. He picks up the remote and pauses the movie. You blink, because that’s about the last thing you expected from him. Then he turns the TV off entirely and you realize you’ll probably never be able to predict what he does next, so you should stop trying already.

“I know how movies are made,” he says.

“Did you have a secret acting career you never told me about?” you say. It’s a joke, but you also wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true. He’s taken to performing like a fish takes to water, and every day you tell him he should quit soccer and devote his life to cinema because of this uncanny skill.

“Not me, but my mother was an actress, and my father was a director,” he says.

“Was?” you say.

“Maybe they still are,” he says. “I don’t know. We’re not on speaking terms.”

“Why not?” you say. He takes your hands in between his, and you can make out immediately that his instinct is to hurt you, to press his fingertips into your wrists so hard that they leave marks. It’s to his credit that he fights back the urge, fights it back and arranges your palms against his carotid arteries. His jaw clenches and his pupils dilate as he waits for you to realize; when you do, you rip your hands away for fear of wounding him further.

“Don’t pity me,” he instructs you, unpausing the movie like nothing happened. “And don’t ever bring it up again.”

Now that you have his permission to refer to him only by his name, you develop a strange fascination with saying it. He’s amused by your new fixation, answering you in a lilting tone every time you call for him.

According to him, you are like a small nightingale, always warbling, always happy, fluttering around beside him and changing his mood for the better. Well, if you are like a nightingale, then he is like a dog, and you tell him as much when you are sitting across from him at a coffee shop.

“A dog?” he repeats, his face pinching. He’s just taken a swig of the black coffee he always orders, but you know his disgusted expression isn’t a symptom of the beverage’s bitterness. “Take that back.”

“Not in a bad way,” you say. Your own drink is sweet, so you sip on it slowly to prevent a stomach ache. “I’m not calling you pathetic. I just mean that you are amiable and lively. It’s a compliment.”

“It’s not who I really am,” he says. “Have I deceived even you? Amiable? Lively? Remember why this entire scam began in the first place — because I am neither of those things.”

“Right,” you say. “A peacock, then. Terribly vain and entirely alluring.”

He relaxes and raises his cup to his mouth again. He’ll be up late tonight, he always is when he has coffee, but it never stops him from drinking it. “That’s better.”

The reminder that whatever you have with him is not real stings more than it should. You throw away your drink almost untouched, which does cause him to raise an eyebrow, but thankfully he refrains from commenting. It’s a relief, because you don’t even know how to explain it to yourself, let alone him.

He walks you to your front porch and waits with crossed arms as you fish for the key in your purse, shoving it in the lock once you have it in your grasp. His farewell when you open the door is stilted and abnormal, so you stop him with a hand on his arm before he can go.

“Michael,” you say. You’ve never said his name like this before. It comes from a place raw and deep within you, a place that you are certain is purple and black like a wound. You say it like you love him, and you think it must be because you do.

“Yes?” he says. It’s the way he always responds to you, his voice like a song, a small smile on his ordinarily strict face — though today, he is not smiling. Instead, he is frowning, like he has come to an understanding that he would have rather not reached.

“Never mind,” you say. “Goodbye.”

“Goodbye,” he says. He drives away, his car disappearing around the corner, leaving you standing alone in the still-open doorway and wondering how you will survive the day when he disappears permanently.

You’re not sure what it is about him that makes pretending difficult, but suddenly, it’s a struggle for you to maintain your aloof front. You find it disconcerting, that he has taken this aspect of your identity and rendered it entirely null and void; it’s even more disconcerting that he has done it unwittingly and unsympathetically. If you loved him any less, you would hate him, because he has stolen who you are and left you blind and fumbling, but you fell for him, and the way you landed broke something fundamental, so that it is impossible for you to get back up.

“I think that I love you,” you say. You are on his couch again, and there is a movie playing again, which is all too similar to a past scenario that you think about when you are lonely. Tonight, it’s some soccer documentary that you find so tedious you are driven to irrationality.

He drops the glass of water in his hands; you reach out and catch it before it can spill, setting it on the table in front of you.

“What?” he says. You shrug.

“I love you,” you say again, and you’re flippant about it because you’re not telling him in the hopes he loves you, too. In fact, you know that he does not, so you are using him as a confessional; after all, the minimum he owes you is sharing the burden of this sin.

“There’s no one around,” he says. “You don’t have to lie. It won’t gain us anything.”

“It hasn’t gained us anything in a long while,” you say. It’s true — your relationship isn’t trending anymore, and most of your dates are in locations where you will not be recognized.

He stands up. The documentary continues as he paces, and a referee blows a whistle while he tangles his fingers in his hair and pulls. You stay on the couch, your eyes following his erratic movements, your hands folded in your lap.

“No, you don’t,” he says.

“I don’t what?” you say.

“You don’t love me,” he says. He wants to sound callous, you are sure of it, but the effect is lost on you. He sounds more lost than anything.

“But I do,” you respond. “Who are you to tell me I don’t?”

“Don’t,” he says. “Stop it. This instant.”

You laugh incredulously. “Do you think it’s that easy? I wouldn’t feel like this in the first place if it was.”

“Why?” he says. He’s still pacing. It’s like watching a tiger in a zoo. You want to study him, but he demands your attention in a different way. “Y/N. Why me? Why at all?”

“The reasons don’t matter, do they? I can tell you, but they won’t change anything,” you say, shrugging. “If you find yourself in the kitchen, bring water back for me. I’m thirsty.”

“Drink mine,” he says, pointing at the cup you had narrowly saved from disaster. “And quit your avoidance. Tell it to me plainly. Why?”

“Because you are you,” you say once you have drained half of his glass and your tongue is not quite as papery. “It’s a series of things; there’s not just one concrete reason. You hate roses and only drink black coffee. My mother thinks you’re handsome and my father is convinced you’re a golfing genius. You are a dog but also a peacock and then again an emperor. Don’t ask ridiculous questions and expect me to answer them when I cannot.”

“I’ll hurt you,” he says. “I’ll hurt you, Y/N, and I don’t — I don’t want to. You’re the only one who I don’t want to hurt, so just give up. It’s for the better if you do.”

“You won’t,” you say. “I don’t think you can.”

“Of course I can,” he says. “It’s the one thing I’m capable of. The only way I know how to love someone is by hurting them. I’ll do the same to you if you let me, and if you’re telling the truth, then you will let me.”

“Because I love you?” you say. “You think I’ll let you hurt me because I love you? For shame, Michael. I thought you knew me better than that.”

“Please,” he says. It’s a word he’s never said, not to you and not in his life. Its weight hangs before you, pulsating in the air like it’s tangible. “If I love you, I’ll destroy you. And then you’ll leave, and it’ll destroy me.”

It’s a selfless desire that he’s disguising as a selfish one. You’re good at pretending, but you’re not good at telling when others are. That much is obvious, because if you had any talent at the latter then you would’ve seen that he’s loved you for as long as you have loved him, maybe longer. He loves you and so he’s urging you to flee, to destroy him before he can do it to you first.

“Damned if I do and damned if I don’t, huh?” you say, exhaling and finishing off the rest of his water. “Listen to me.”

“No,” he says. His obstinance is endearing, but you throw a pillow at him instead of cooing like you want to. He catches it and tosses it back. It lands beside you with a thump. You pat it for emphasis.

“Yes,” you say. “I love you.”

He plugs his ears with his fingers. “Nope.”

“I love you, I love you — hey, I know you can hear me!” you say.

“La la la,” he shouts over your voice, sticking his tongue out petulantly. “I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you!”

“You’re cruel,” you say. “I won’t deny it. I know who you really are, Michael Kaiser. You possess cruelty in spades, but it’s in the way that a rose does. You have grown malice like thorns so that no one may come near your heart, and you think these thorns will tear me apart when I extend my hand past them. What you aren’t accounting for is that I have done so already. I have reached your heart and still I am intact. Now, what is there to cause me harm — a mere flower? But a flower can’t cause anyone harm, least of all a person such as myself. You can’t, or more importantly you won’t. I believe that you won’t.”

He stares at you. The soccer team in the documentary still playing behind him scores, and the crowd roars in approval. You stare back at him and wait.

“I hate roses,” he finally says. “I hate them a lot. They’re the worst kind of flower.”

“I don’t know about that,” you say. “I quite fancy them.”

“They prick your fingers,” he says.

“Not if you are gentle,” you say. “Not if you understand them.”

He buries his face in his hands. “Go home, Y/N.”

You do as you are told, flagging a taxi and shivering while you wait for it. You wish for things to be different, but the amount of unfulfilled wishes you’ve made outnumber the stars in the sky, so you add this one to the list and vow to move on.

You have no desire to leave your bed the next morning, but you are also hungry, and your hunger wins out over your despair. You muster up the energy to roll out of your sheets and trudge downstairs, but you are miserable as you do so. You are utterly miserable, and the fact that you are only worsens the feeling, trapping you in an endless kind of loop.

When you enter your kitchen, you are surprised to see a pot of flowers sitting innocently on your counter. You didn’t put them there, so you should feel afraid, but they’re roses, and they’re the same arresting shade as the sky, so you don’t. You only grin, slowly and then all at once as you begin to giggle helplessly.

There isn’t a card or an explanation provided, but you don’t need either. You already know who they are from.

#kaiser x reader #kaiser x y/n #kaiser x you #michael kaiser #bllk x reader #bllk #blue lock #reader insert #fake dating #m1ckeyb3rry milestone #m1ckeyb3rry writes

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itendtothinkalot · 5 months ago

Text

another one of those fake dating tropes lol

Summary: a series dedicated to fake dating and for what? idk

Genre: romcom, angst, fluffy

Characters: beomgyu x f!reader soobin x f!reader

Words: too many (15818)

Completed (oneshot)

There were many instances in your life when you felt completely and utterly alone in the world but it was never in the presence of your five overly attached best friends. You didn’t know why the six of you clicked. It could’ve been Kai’s innate sense of wit or Beomgyu’s impeccable timing for comedy. The six of you just did.

Sure, your life had been filled with dullness more so than the average person but with friends like these idiots by your side, you were certain you were considered one of the luckiest people on planet Earth.

You loved being independent, your time away from all the drama and constant yelling, you could go on days at a time without seeing a single person. But somewhere deep in your heart, you also yearned for love. Romantic love, of course. None of that platonic ‘friendship is magic’ bullshit that Taehyun would feed you when you’d whine about being single and how you’d probably die alone with 3 cats.

You wanted romantic love. A love that was undying. A love that could only be filled with physical and emotional intimacy. A love that you unfortunately have only ever felt for one of your best friends.

Ahh, unrequited love, a curse that had been bestowed upon you by one of your worst enemies, Cupid.

“I swear to God, you’re gonna get kicked out by Mr Kim.” Kai hushed, pressing his face against Beomgyu. His eyes continuously darted between the backroom where your manager had situated himself then back at Beomgyu, who had his dirty Nike shoes propped up on the barstool next to him.

“First of all, watch the spit, you frog. Also,” Beomgyu scoffed, his lips in between the straw he was viciously nibbling on, wiping the spit that landed on his face from Kai’s aggressive hushing. “We’re paying customers, are we not?”

“Gyu, the milkshake was free.” You said, an eyebrow raised. “I should know. I made it for you and pretended to key it in so our manager wouldn’t know.”

“Well, you should’ve charged me for it.” Beomgyu challenged as he played with the rigid rim of his paper cup; his teeth marks visible.

“You’re a broke law student who can’t even afford cup noodles. I had to pay for your last meal and I’m working in a cafe.” Kai added, his hands still busy wiping the counters. He was doing this so the manager wouldn’t call him out for doing nothing (again).

“Shame on the two of you. Inviting me down here so you could humiliate me in front of Soobin and peepaw.” Beomgyu shook his head gesturing to Yeonjun who had been catching up on his Zs during the whole argument. Lifting his head, Yeonjun flicked his fingers at the back of Beomgyu’s neck before enveloping his head back in his arms.

“Ow!” Beomgyu said through his gritted teeth, rubbing his neck.

A laugh escaped your lips. You patted Yeonjun’s head, “Being unemployed sure takes a toll on the elderly.” You played along earning a smile from Beomgyu.

Yeonjun groaned before lifting his head to look you dead in the eye, “You’re getting too complacent for someone who works in a dead-end cafe.”

“At least I can afford more than just a couple bag of chips. Can you say the same?” You stuck your tongue out. Yeonjun rolled his eyes before sipping on his disgusting left-out-too-long milkshake then resting his head back onto the counter.

“I’m in between interviews.” He mumbled, his face still buried in his arms as he tried to defend what was left of his crumbling dignity.

“Though bashing Yeonjun is my favourite hobby, he’s not wrong. This place is kinda dead. Isn’t it supposed to be lunch hour?” Soobin brought up, looking around the empty cafe before fixing his eyes on you.

“Well, sometimes during rush hour, I’d forget to put the open sign up so I wouldn’t have to clean more tables. Mr. Kim hasn’t noticed it though. He just thinks his marketing strategy of getting the two of us to give out flyers isn’t working.” Kai mumbled putting air quotes around “forget”.

“Low pay fits you, Kai.” Taehyun finally chimed in. “You really shouldn’t be working in this industry. Or in any industry for that matter.”

“Okay, Mr Trust Fund.” Kai sang. “I’m rich! I don’t need a job! I can spend the rest of my life working for my dad!”

“Cut it out, Kai.” Beomgyu defended Taehyun, placing his arms around the younger male.

“You’re only defending him because he’s paying your half of the rent!” Huening retaliated.

“That’s not true! I paid the rent last month!”

“Honestly, you haven’t paid me for 3 months.” Taehyun said, his eyes boring into Beomgyu’s, eliciting a guilty giggle from the Beomgyu.

“Hasn’t it occurred to you that as a rich person, you should and must help the needy?” Beomgyu countered.

“The needy?” Kai sneered, eyes peering through the shaggy long-haired boy.

“Yeah. Me.” Beomgyu deadpanned.

“God, Beomgyu, I will continue paying your half of the rent if you shut up.” Taehyun sighed.

“Truly…a man of good deeds. President Kang! I respect you.” Beomgyu saluted as he wrapped his arms around Taehyun.

“President Kang, can you pay my rent?” Soobin grinned, his hands finding their way to Taehyun’s shoulder.

“You have a job. Stop leeching off of me.” Taehyun spoke, shrugging Soobin’s arms off.

“I don’t think you can count ass kissing as an actual job.” Yeonjun commented, his head finally up, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I don’t kiss my boss’s ass.” Soobin grumbled.

“Well, you slept with her.” Kai reminded, knocking on Soobin’s forehead, a little mischievous grin plastered across his face.

Your head perked up at the sudden confession.

“It was a drunk mistake. How’d you even kn- God, I’m never telling you anything again, Beomgyu.”

“For the record, Kai overheard you telling me through Discord. You should really get a new mic.” Beomgyu said, his mouth filled with stale fries.

Now that piqued your interest.

“So, Scoobs, you slept with…your boss?” You finally spoke up, your eyebrows furrowed.

Panic-stricken, Soobin shook his head profusely, “No…no. Not technically.”

“We’re talking technicalities now?” Yeonjun laughed, slapping Soobin’s back.

“So you didn’t?” You queried. It was evident that he was getting more flustered as time passed without an explanation. His red face painfully contrasted with his blonde hair.

“Oh, you don’t know? Well, well, well, looks like you do keep secrets from your favourite friend after all!” Beomgyu retorted.

“I like you all the same. Maybe not Beomgyu right now though.” Soobin cleared his throat before looking at you. His eyes told you he was guilty. Though of course, you weren’t sure. Maybe that’s what you wanted him to feel.

You didn’t know why it bugged you. Or maybe…you did. But you knew for a fact you didn’t like him sleeping with just about anyone.

“I like you all the same!” Beomgyu mimicked annoyingly, “You two and your silly little games, the rooftop meetups, the Friday lunch hour ice creams, the movie nights…we know who you prefer, Soobin or should I say Scooby…”

Soobin looked at Beomgyu, rolled his eyes and dunked his head then back at you.

“It was just a one-time thing. We were both drunk and I woke up in her apartment the other day at the Christmas party. It was stupid and I would never do it again.” He explained, specifically to you. You weren’t sure why he was trying so hard to convince you to think otherwise.

“Christmas?” You muttered.

Christmas was just 2 weeks ago. Which would explain why Soobin had backed out on the past 2 Friday lunch hour ice cream sessions. You thought.

As much as everything was great when you hung out with your friends, it was also just as dreadful hanging out with someone you had the fattest crush on. Shaking your head, you decided just to ignore this minor yet painful information. It was a one-time thing. He said so and you chose to believe it.

Work was finally over. Despite finding out the person you’ve been in love with for the past 2 years had sex with his boss, it was another average day. It wasn’t like you’d never heard of Soobin’s romantic endeavours before. You were used to it but you wouldn’t say you enjoy the awful sting in your heart.

You sighed as your body hit the bed. Your legs were wrapped around in the blanket that Taehyun had got you for your 21st birthday. He had insisted on getting you a whole bed set because you’d been sleeping on the same club penguin bed sheets since you were 11. You initially declined, claiming that you’d be happy with a gift card to the local supermarket since you were running low on cup ramen but then Soobin said something about how much he loved soft neutral-coloured linens and there you were begging Taehyun for the new set he initially offered. You were pathetic. So pathetic you got Taehyun rolling on the floor laughing when you were on your knees for the linen set you had so kindly declined.

Bzzz…

Your thoughts were interrupted.

Soobin: You up? You: Was about to sleep. Soobin: Rooftop in 5? You: Choc milk??? Soobin: In my pockt. Soobin: Pocket*

How Soobin and you met...was a little unconventional. You happened to move right above Soobin’s apartment when he had trudged to your house to complain about the noise you had made the previous night and accused you of having the worst-sounding sex in history of mankind.

“It’s like if a cat and a dog were-”

You remembered shaking your head, “I’m gonna to have you stop right there. Mr…?”

“Soobin.”

“Ah, Soobin. You see, I would remember having sex last night in this apartment and making questionable mating noises except I moved in…today?” This was followed by a string of apologies mostly from Soobin who had been on his knees.

From that day on, he had visited your house every single day bearing snacks, hoping the both of you didn’t start on the wrong foot. It eventually blossomed and the both of you became inseparable best friends with him introducing you to the rest of them.

“You okay?” You asked, your eyelids closing as you tried your hardest to suppress your yawns. You were sleepy, sure, but you didn’t have the heart to tell Soobin you were knackered. Besides, it was Soobin, you had slaved away till 5am cooking his favourite meals to cheer him up when his first-ever girlfriend had broken up with him…you’re not proud of it but you did love the look on his face when he nuzzled into the crook of your neck declaring how much he loved your chicken soup.

You noticed Soobin fidgeting like he was nervous. His eyes danced across the rooftop, at you then at the lawn chairs then at the fairy lights decorating the washed-up rooftop then back at you. You could see him trying so evidently to avoid your gaze.

“Scooby, are you okay?” You asked again after noticing the look of distress plastered on his handsome face.

“I got a promotion.” The words left his mouth like a bullet train. No pause. No emotion. No nothing.

“That’s amazing!” Your fatigue washed away as soon as you heard the good news. You jumped into his arms and hugged him as tightly as you could. “Congratulations!” Though, you were a little confused with the sudden promotion. Was it because he slept with his boss? You quietly thought to yourself.

“No, I got it before I even slept with her and besides she’s in a different department, she doesn’t have a say.” He sped through the explanation like he knew what you were thinking.

“Scoobs, that’s wonderful. I’m happy for you!” You smiled, lifting your arms to hug him, inching closer.

“It’s in New York.”

You could hear a pin drop. The silence engulfed the two of you. You were hoping Beomgyu would come out in an ugly baggy tuxedo shouting “YOU JUST GOT PRANK’D SON!” like he had one time during your birthday when they switched out your cake for cardboard but minutes passed and no one but the crickets were talking. It was just the right time for you to fall back onto the lawn chair, maybe miss the lawn chair and hit your head so it’d crack open so you couldn’t see the love of your life walk out on you.

“For how long?”

“2 years.” Soobin mumbled.

Your arms untangle from Soobin’s, you looked at him confused before a smile returned to your face.You couldn’t let him know you were upset.

“Are you gonna accept the offer?” You asked, a smile still covering your progressive state of panic, trying your best to stay impartial towards your best friend.

“I don’t know. The salary’s amazing, a huge jump from my current pay. The company provides – accommodation, transportation, medical benefits and a whole ton of shit that I never had.”

“That’s amazing,” You said before pausing, the pause took longer than you’d initially expected, “But you don’t seem too happy.”

“It’s just…” Soobin sighed, his legs giving up. He fell to his knees and cradled himself next to the wall. You found yourself moving from the lawn chair as you made your way towards the taller male. You placed a hand on his knee as you sat beside him and laid your head on his shoulder. “So so so fucking far.” His voice broke. His eyes forming tears but he turned away before you could see it fall. “From everyone. From you.”

You ignored the heart palpitations you were having. If you ignored it, maybe it’d go away.

“Soobin…” You used his real name, hoping he’d know that you were serious. You turned his face toward you, looking at him in adoration. “I don’t want- we don’t want to be the reason you didn’t take this great fucking opportunity and it’s only 2 years. Soobin, you’ve worked so har-”

Soobin cuts you off, “It’s not the same. I want to be with you guys. We promised that we’d be here when Yeonjun finally finds his passion. God, I’m going to miss Beomgyu’s graduation. I can’t leave! We haven’t even gotten to see the sunrise together in Bukchon! We haven’t gone on the camping trip we’ve been planning since high school! What’s Kai going to do when he finds out that I’m leaving? He’s like a son to me. Dear God, what if Taehyun hunts me down and-” He rambled on and on.

“Soobin,” You cut him off. “stop thinking about us and start thinking about what YOU want to do. You’ve wanted to be a journalist for so long.” You took a deep breath. “Soobs, you graduated at the top of your class. You pulled an all-nighter every single day for three weeks before your final exam. You put up with shitty intern supervisors for this very opportunity! You’re finally achieving your dream!”

“You don’t get it.” Soobin sighed, a hint of frustration in his voice.

“What don’t I get?” You mirrored his annoyance.

Soobin had worked so hard, you were almost furious that he was fighting NOT to go. He would be stupid to reject an offer that could potentially elevate his career and here he was upset he couldn’t go camping with the 5 of you in a shitty forest in your old boring neighbourhood.

“It’s not my dream.” He said, his eyebrows furrowing. His hands moved to the sides of your arms, gripping onto them. You looked up, slightly puzzled at his firmness.

“Soobin, I saw your vision board. It was in big red letters, right next to ‘Meet Bebe Rexha’.” You mumbled.

The vision board was something Soobin had done to stay consistent with the goals he had set up for himself when he was 11. The board was made from his first laptop box, it was cut up and pasted on his wall. Torn up pieces of newspaper, magazines and notes with his goals pasted on the edges of the board with the words ‘SOOBIN’S DREAMS’ written across the middle. It started when he was in middle school, he’d paste pictures of grades he manifested, vacation spots he wanted to visit. He’d done everything on the vision board. You couldn’t be the reason for him to stop finishing what he started.

“The vision board was made before I met you.” He replied.

“What does that have to do with anything?” You said, yawning mid way. You lifted your head up to look over to him. His gaze dead set on you. The butterflies in your stomach were much more active that night, violently fighting their way out of your stomach. His hands had found its way to your thigh, as it grazed up and down, up and down, comforting you in this dreadful situation. His soft, slender fingers traced comforting patterns on your thigh, a gesture of reassurance amid uncertainty, your silent connection speaking volumes.

Soobin cleared his throat, “I…um…I guess what I’m trying to say is that this dream…” He paused and gestured between the two of you with his hands. “that you think I’m…uh, achieving? It’s not complete. Not complete at all.” His voice falters like he was about to say something stupid.

“What’s missing?” You gulped, nervous. The movement of his hands on your thighs stop as he moves them to your face.

His eyes shifted to yours. “You.”

“Oh.” You replied.

“I like you.” Soobin confessed. “And I know you like me too.”

“What? I neve-”

“Yeonjun can be a blabbermouth when he’s drunk.”

“That fiend.” You muttered under your breath causing Soobin to chuckle.

“I like you. I like you so much.” He paused, more eager. “God, I think about you all the time, when I sleep, when I eat. You’re in my head all the time. I literally wake up and go, ‘I wonder what she’s doing today?’. The vision board isn’t my future. You are.”

You didn’t say anything. You didn’t really know what to say.

“Just say the word and I won’t go.”

—------------------

2 years later

“I look stupid.” You said, looking at yourself in the mirror. A shimmery blue beaded dress tugged on your waist as you found yourself being tossed and turned by Yeonjun as if you were some kind of ragdoll.

“You look wonderful, now hold still. I’m a second away from being annoyed at you.” Yeonjun said, pinching the side of your waist to keep you from fidgeting.

“Ouch!” You felt a pin poke your sides, you jumped at the feeling before Yeonjun smacked your arms.

“Don’t be such a baby.” Yeonjun ridiculed, before spinning you around to take a good look at you. “You look great.”

“Do I really?” You asked, clear confusion on your face, you eyed yourself in the mirror. You looked like a helpless little girl stuck in a bunch of blue glittery fabric.

“Could you relax? You’re wearing a Yeonjun original. Of course, you look good.” Yeonjun grinned, pride evident on his face. You couldn’t help but beam at your friend.

Yeonjun found his place designing dresses for a boutique for his aunt about a year ago and you were incredibly happy for him especially after the difficulties he had faced finding the right job for him.

“Gyu, what do you think?” You turned to face Beomgyu, who had little to no interest and twirled for him.

“Gyu…CHOI BEOMGYU!” Yeonjun yelled.

“WHAT?!” Beomgyu rolled his eyes, placing the magazine he was reading onto his lap, looking up at you and Yeonjun, “I was in the middle of reading an article! Hilary Duff’s secrets to conquering acne and online haters—front cover exclusive.”

You laughed and spun for him, “Gyu, how do I look?”

“The dress is good.” He said nonchalantly before turning back to his magazine.

“That’s all?” Yeonjun pestered.

“What am I supposed to fucking say?” Beomgyu groaned.

“Something descriptive? Or helpful!” Yeonjun urged.

“I know how to be helpful. It’s officially been 2 years since Soo-…” Beomgyu finally chimed in.

“Don’t bring him up.” Yeonjun cuts Beomgyu off. “We were having a nice time.”

“We’re seeing him next week so I don’t know why you’re being all… skittish about the situation.” Beomgyu retaliated.

Yeonjun’s hand found his way to yours, lending a hand of comfort after he had noticed your clear discomfort when Soobin was mentioned.

“I’m fine. It’ll be nice seeing him. Have you guys…um… spoken to him recently?” You asked, hoping someone would have at least some news about him.

“Not since the second month he left. ‘I’ll e-mail you guys everyday’ turned out to be a month and a half before he started posting cute pictures of himself on instagram in ugly turtlenecks. Who does he think he is? Steve Jobs? And for the love of God, who actually posts their girlfriend that much on a daily basis? I do not care for your ugly girlfriend.” Beomgyu spat bitterly.

“Gyu.” You warned.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot we weren’t haters anymore so I’ll rephrase. I do care…” he looked at the two of you and shook his head. “for his bug-eyed, self-absorbed, irritating, conniving, little minx of a girlfriend. See? I can be descriptive.”

You rolled your eyes, shoving his arm before chuckling. Despite his hatred for everything, you adored Beomgyu. He had a way of saying shit that just made you forget why you were upset in the first place.

“Well, he sent me a heart eye emoji on a shirtless picture I posted on stories the other day. Though I think that might’ve been a mistake.” Yeonjun cleared his throat.

“Posting that picture was a mistake. A horrid shirtless picture at 8am? A new low even for you.” Beomgyu said before catching a flying pillow that was hurtling towards him.

“I will end you.” Yeonjun threatened.

“Sure, peepaw. Anyway,” Beomgyu sighed, focusing his attention back on you. “Have you guys talked?”

“No. We haven’t talked since the day he left.”

—-----

“I’ll e-mail you guys everyday! Facetime, instagram, hell, I’d even use Facebook for you turds! I promise.”

“For the record, Facebook is a great social media platform.” Kai said defensively.

“We get it. One of your videos got viral on that old people's platform.” Taehyun rolled his eyes.

The five of you trailed behind Soobin, with bags of gifts in your arms because Soobin couldn’t “leave you guys empty-handed”. That just meant he gave you a bunch of rubbish he didn’t need for New York.

Soobin huffed, his eyes welling with tears. “Fuck, I don’t wanna go.”

“You have to. You’ll be back in 2 years and we’ll be back at Mr Kim’s diner once again bickering about stupid shit like we always have. And don’t worry! We’ll come to visit the moment Yeonjun gets a job so he can pay for his air ticket.” Kai chuckled.

“I HAVE a job!” Yeonjun retaliated.

“You went to one interview.”

“And the lady said she’d call!”

“I think we should focus on the fact Soobin is leaving.” Taehyun muttered.

“No. Don’t. I’ll miss your stupid arguments and how stupid everything Beomgyu says is.”

“At least someone appreciates me.” Beomgyu beamed.

Your heart fastened as you felt the 6 of you inch closer to the departure hall. Every single memory of Soobin and you had replayed in your mind. The last-minute movie dates, the overnight calls, burning the midnight oil as you studied through your last year of college together.

“Soobin.” You singled him out from the rest, pulling onto his baggy sweatshirt. You dragged him to the corner with your 4 remaining friends making kissy noises at the back.

“Ooooo~ Soobin. I love you.”

“Hm?” You and Soobin were away from the others, standing by a charging station opposite his departure gate.

He fidgeted with his passport, peeling the cover and putting it back on.

“I’ll wait for you,” you finally said.

“And I’ll be back. Two years,” Soobin promised, kissing your cheek, the warmth lingering.

“Two years,” you nodded.

Soobin turned away but hesitated, feeling glued to the spot. Suddenly, he spun back around, grabbing your face with both hands and pressing his lips to yours.

When he finally pulled back, both of you were breathless. “I love you,” he whispered again, his forehead resting against yours.

“I love you too,” you replied, your voice shaky but certain.

There it was. The most pain you had ever felt. You’ve gotten hurt a lot of times in the past. When Yeonjun ran over your foot with his new hoverboard. When Beomgyu said you looked stupid wearing your favourite beret. When your middle school crush threw a ball straight to your face. When you fell off the stairs after tripping over your shoelaces. Your parents saying you’d never live up to your cousin. A whole ton of shit.

But this? This was a thousand times worse than everything combined.

—

“Good lord, I did not realise Haechan had this many friends.” Taehyun gulped as the five of you entered the wedding hall. Decorated in the ugliest laced curtains you had ever seen, you kept the look of disgust in your head. Though who were you to complain, you couldn’t even get over someone you liked 2 years ago.

“It’s a miracle he managed to settle down.” Beomgyu whispered, referring to how Haechan has had quite the run when he was still single, living in an apartment with like 5 other frat guys naming themselves ‘dreamies’ or something like that.

“Table 34? That’s all the way at the back!” Kai breathed, annoyed. “And to think I was his cheat sheet in high school.”

“You gave him a C+ at best.” Taehyun commented.

“A C+ that I studied for!”

“Let it go, Kai. At least we’re at the same table.” You consoled, staring at yourtable card.

“Thirty-fi-...Hold up. What the fuck. I’m at table 35!” Beomgyu spat.

“It’s probably because of that one time you stole his sandwich.” Yeonjun reminded us.

“It was a tuna sandwich. Who gives a shit? Hey, someone switch with me. I see Lucas at table 35 and I am not ready to sit with his big ass head blocking my view.” He growled.

“No.” The four of you chimed.

Beomgyu groaned. Ignoring his sulky gaze towards you, you looked over to table 34. Your eyes scanned the seats for your name.

Ah, there it was. A white chair draped in fancy lace and a ton of shit Haechan probably paid too much for. A chair that was…

Right next to Choi Soobin.

No…no…no. This couldn’t be happening to you.

“Hey, on second thought, Gyu. I’ll gladly change my seats with you.”

“What’s with the sudd-” Beomgyu glanced at your seat. “Yeah, I’ll take a chance with big head. Good luck.”

“Gyu!” You begged.

“Big hea- Lucas!” He called out before running over to the big goof at table 35.

“Guys, I swear to God, don’t leave me alone with him.” Your eyes filled with desperation.

“We won’t. Unlike Beomgyu, we actually love and cherish y- Oh my god, Taehyun, they have crepes here. I REPEAT! THEY HAVE CREPES!” Kai squeaked, pulling Taehyun towards the food.

“And then there were two.” Yeonjun sighed, placing a hand on your back.

“Jun…” You cried.

“I’m right here. I won’t go anywhere.” Yeonjun reassured you before leading you to your table.

You could feel your heart bursting out of your chest. In no way shape or form were you ready to see him waltz in with his plus one that so happened to be the big boss he slept with 2 years ago. Coincidence? You doubt it. Everyday you thought of the possibility of what could’ve been and it has sucked you back to misery every. Single. Time.

You sat next to Yeonjun and fiddled with the hem of your skirt. Your legs were shaking from nerves. Your eyes shifted across the room, hoping he wasn’t going to show up. But lo and behold, the monster of your nightmare strutting in with his beautiful girlfriend.

“Good God.” Kai whispered as he walked back to the table with crepes in his hand. “Here he comes.”

“Hm, Gyu was right. She does have bug eyes.” Taehyun added.

“Dude!” Yeonjun exclaimed, hitting Taehyun’s arms. “They’re coming! Act normal. Like we weren’t just talking about them!”

The four of you looked away trying to avoid eye contact with your former friend. You felt the chair beside you being filled when Kai burst out laughing.

“God! Yeonjun, HAHA, yes. Yep. I remember that incident. A while ago. It was crazy. Crazy.” Kai yelled aloud.

“Play it cool.” Taehyun elbowed Kai who was in a reasonable state of panic.

Soobin cleared his throat, twiddling his thumbs.

“Hey guys, it’s been a long time.” He begun.

The four of you glanced over to him, simultaneously nodding before looking back at each other.

“Yeah. 2 years?” Yeonjun replied, avoiding eye contact with the taller fellow.

“Um, yeah,” Soobin said. “This is my girlfriend.”

This time you spoke but not before clearing your throat, “Uh, yes. Hello.” You nodded in her direction before turning your attention back to Yeonjun.

You tugged onto Yeonjun’s shirt, mouthing, ‘Save me’. You knew if you had to look at them any longer you would start feeling pity for yourself and soon enough you’d start crying at a wedding you didn’t even give a shit about.

“It’s been a long time, Soobin. You’ve missed a lot.” Yeonjun spoke, you could feel Soobin tense up beside you. Probably from Yeonjun’s tone.

“Oh yeah?” You heard Soobin ask. Your eyes were still on Yeonjun.

“Well for starters, Kai finally found a corporate job.” Taehyun started.

“Yep. I’m a slave to capitalism now. Taehyun’s assistant at your service.” Kai chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. He sipped his large glass of wine, looked away then twiddled with his thumbs. It was clear that the lovely Huening Kai hated these types of situations.

“Yeonjun too! He’s a fashion designer.” You managed to fumble out trying your darndest to be casual when your eyes moved over to observe Soobin for a fleeting moment before deciding that maybe it was too early to even look at him. One look and your friends understood your desperation to leave. Calmly trying to take over the conversation, Yeonjun opened his mouth to speak when Soobin beat him to it.

“What about you?”

“Why do you care?” You replied instantly before regretting how rude you probably sounded. “I mean, I’m a kindergarten teacher.”

“Well, you were always good with kids. It fits you.” Soobin said with so much sincerity in his voice you almost regret replying him with that much hostility. Almost.

“Mhm.” You nodded, still looking away.

“Uh, how about you?” Yeonjun asked, gesturing to Soobin.

God, how much you would PAY to have Beomgyu swoop into save you.

2 years ago, you’d never have thought that any of you would be in this awkward situation.. Hell, Soobin used to be your escape and now he was just someone you feared seeing. As time passed, it seemed that your friendship was almost nothing but faint memories.

“Well, uh…” Soobin began.

“We’re great.” His girlfriend chimed in. “Hi, I know you’ve probably seen me in his instagram stories.To answer your question, a few things are in store for both of us. Mr Choi here has a soon-to-be promotion coming up and Mrs Choi here is really proud.” She announced, shoving her finger in front of the four of you.

Your heart dropped. Despite being left for two years, maybe somewhere in your heart, you had still hoped he’d see what he was missing and come crawling back to you. Then maybe your happy ending could finally start. But that goal seemed a little too far fetched now.

The diamond rock stared at you and then eventually mocked you for being ugly and single.

Yeonjun’s eyes widened before sputtering out a bunch of words – congrats or something like that, you honestly couldn’t comprehend the conversation any further. Then you felt yourself being pulled back into this dreadful event when Yeonjun nudged you.

“I said…what about you? Are you seeing anyone?” She sneered, her attention glued on you, lifting an eyebrow, almost expectant to hear the answer she wanted.

After what seemed like hours, you mustered the courage to glance at Soobin, who was already watching you curiously. Once best friends, the word "love" had been thrown around casually. Yet, you didn’t want him prying into your private life, especially with his impending marriage.

“I…uh…” You stammered, unable to comprehend the situation or even form a proper sentence.

“Actually,” Yeonjun spoke. “Beomgyu and her have been dating for awhile now.”

“What?!” You exclaimed, your eyes wide at the sudden accusation.

You were upset about two things: first, this dreadful lie Yeonjun just spouted and second, that you weren’t able to catch Soobin’s reaction. Was he hurt? Was he angry? Was he feeling how you were feeling? Slightly betrayed, slightly hurt and just really hungry…God, who were you kidding? You couldn’t even stomach food with Soobin’s shoulder knocking onto yours every few seconds.

Upset by the lie and missing Soobin's reaction, you noticed Yeonjun’s unnerving nonchalance.

“Oh come on. Soobin’s an old friend. We can trust him,” Yeonjun lied smoothly, munching on crackers.

Kai and Taehyun, equally confused, looked at you in disbelief. Kai, his lips trembling, added, “Yeah, they’re really cute together. It was a shocker.”

Taehyun gulped, “You can’t imagine how surprised we were.”

“The most adorable couple I know! You should really hear the story of how Beomgyu asked her out. It was so cute!” Yeonjun added enthusiastically.

“Speaking of boyfriends, here he comes now!” Taehyun shouted, pointing at Beomgyu, who was strutting over with a goofy grin.

“You guys will not believe what Lucas said to me!” Beomgyu yelled over the loud music.

“Not the time,” Kai mumbled, gesturing to Soobin with his eyes.

Beomgyu’s grin faded as he noticed the tension in the group and quickly caught on to the situation.

“What?” Beomgyu said, confused before realising Soobin was right there. “Oh. It’s you. Hi bro. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? You look great for someone who left his best friends hanging for 2 years but great, nonetheless.”

You snorted, feeling a bit more confident with Beomgyu’s tactless honesty. With him around, you strangely always felt 2 times more powerful – like you had no fear because if anyone were to tell you off Beomgyu would be glad to do it back to them. Probably even worse than they had done to you.

Beomgyu pulled out his phone, rereading Yeonjun's text, then gasped aloud.

“Babe, I thought you said you weren’t ready to tell anyone!” Beomgyu exclaimed, resting his arms on your shoulders as he knelt beside your chair.

If you weren’t in on this, you’d believe you were in a relationship with Beomgyu. Their acting was top-notch.

“I didn’t think Yeonjun would announce it,” you lied.

“God, you know what? I am kind of glad that it’s out. I can finally tell the world that you’re mine.” Beomgyu grinned before planting a kiss on your cheek. “Soobin, I believe I have yet to tell you about how we first got together.”

“Uh…” Soobin stammered, almost wanting to decline.

“Thank you for asking me. Well…it was a few months after you left. She had been crying over your move for like two months, it was like really terrible. Constant tears, just blueh-” Beomgyu started, earning a glare from you.

“Babe…it’s part of the story. Stop looking at me like that. Did you know glaring can affect your aging? We can’t have you looking 60 when we haven’t had our first child.”

“Sorry.” You apologised even though you didn’t know why. He was, technically, embarrassing you. Your cheeks pinked when you felt Soobin look over to you.

“Anyway I was like shit, why does it hurt me so much to see her hurting? So I talked to Yeonjun –”

“That’s me.” Yeonjun raised his hands, inserting himself into a situation he started.

“This isn’t about you…” Beomgyu paused, grabbing Yeonjun’s hand and shoving it away. “I consulted Yeonjun and was like dude why the fuck am I so sad when she’s sad?”

“Yeah and I was like maybe you lik-” Yeonjun interrupted.

“Yeonjun, please!” Beomgyu grunted. "Anyway, he was like, 'Maybe you like her?' And I sat there for weeks thinking about it before I realized I did like her. Her hair smells like flowers, and she giggles so cutely at cat pictures. She’s always there for me. Every single time I feel dread, she’s there. She…” Beomgyu pauses, glancing at you with a gentle smile.

“Look at her. She’s…well, she’s undeniably beautiful. When I look at her, my troubles just melt away. Nothing in the world matters except for me and her.” Beomgyu's voice softened with every word, each one filled with sincerity.

You looked over to Beomgyu, feeling a warm blush spread across your cheeks, even though you knew he was pretending.

The two of you might have been staring at each other for a minute too long. Yeonjun cleared his throat.

“Uh. Right. Anyway, despite this, I didn’t really wanna ruin the friendship but I thought I’d rather try than leave and feel empty. Of course, she didn’t feel the same way since she was too busy being hung up on someone who wasn’t. even. there.”

You felt Soobin shift in his seat. He cleared his throat

“Well, I changed my mind eventually, didn’t I?” You added. A sudden surge of confidence pulsed through your veins. You wanted to lie. You wanted to believe that you were okay when Soobin left. You wanted Soobin to know that you didn’t need him. In fact, you didn’t want him. And you didn’t spend like 2-3 months moping in your house, crying over the fact he moved on and you didn’t.

“She didn’t like me back at first. So I went to Kai and Taehyun for some more advice and Kai was unsupportive at first, telling me how he didn’t want to lose another friend but you know Taehyun and Yeonjun convinced him and here we are.”

“Then what happened?” You asked, intrigued by Beomgyu’s story.

“Weren’t you there when it happened?” Soobin’s girlfriend piped in.

“Yeah. But I like it when my baby tells the story.” You glared back at her before wrapping your arms around Beomgyu’s waist.

“Well…I, uh, I told her on her birthday. I gave her a necklace with a picture of us we took on the day I took her out to cheer her up. We went to a photobooth and she kissed my cheek for the first time so I printed the photo and placed it in the necklace and told her I liked her and here we are.”

You looked down at your necklace. Well, Beomgyu wasn’t lying about one thing.

—-

“Okay, my turn!” Beomgyu exclaimed, handing you a personalised pink box.

“What is it?” You asked, curiosity evident. You shook the box, a single metal-like item knocking on the walls of the boxes.

“You have hands. You can open the box.” Beomgyu joked.

Your fingers graced the velvet box, “God, the box is so pretty.”

“I know how much of a sucker you are for ornate boxes.”

You grinned at your best friend. He did know you. Maybe a little too much.

Beomgyu searched your eyes for any sign of excitement and when he got a squeak from you, he knew you were. His nerves finally settled down when you finally opened the box revealing a chain necklace with a single heart hanging off.

“Gyu!” You cried, opening the locket. “It’s so pretty and –the picture! This is so cute!”

You squealed and jumped into his arms, wrapping yours around his much larger exterior. “Thank you!”

His hand found their way to your back, his fingers played with the wrinkles of your shirt, “I’m glad you liked it. I have one just like it so if we ever get lost and separated, I’ll know how to find you.” Beomgyu grinned.

“Why would we ever get separated?” You asked, looking at him through your eyelashes.

“There could be zombies.”

“Zombie, no zombie, we’re literally together 24/7. Let’s face it, I’d probably get bitten in the first 2 hours and you’d probably let me infect you because you got lazy or something.”

“You’re right. We wouldn’t make it. You know who would?”

“Taehyun.” You both sang.

—---

“You think he bought it?” you asked with a smirk as you swung open your apartment door. Chucking your shoes into the cabinet next to the entrance, you flopped down onto your sofa. Beomgyu followed suit, collapsing into the bean bag chair.

“I think Kai showing Soobin that video of us kissing at the New Year's party really sealed the deal,” Beomgyu replied with a grin.

“It’s a good thing the sound wasn’t on, or else he’d hear a loud ‘I TOLD YOU THEY’D DO IT FOR TWENTY’,” you mimicked Yeonjun's bet with Taehyun, recalling the hilarious wager over your New Year's kiss. In your defense, it was all in good fun, and the $20 came in handy during your ramen days.

“Look at us now! Gainfully employed adults who don’t have to resort to crazy dares for lunch money,” Beomgyu chuckled.

“I wouldn’t consider kissing you a crazy dare,” you quipped after a pause.

“You don’t think kissing your best friend is crazy?” Beomgyu raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t think kissing you is crazy,” you said casually.

“Oh,” Beomgyu cleared his throat. “Why not?”

“I don’t know. I just know I wouldn’t kiss Tae, Kai, or Jun.”

“Hm?”

“Seems gross. Lightly verging on incestuous,” you laughed, switching on the TV to distract yourself. The conversation shifted as a dating show you both enjoyed came on, pulling you into its drama-filled world.

After a while, Beomgyu broke the silence. “I feel the same way.”

“Huh?” you turned to him in surprise.

“I wouldn’t kiss Tae, Kai, or Jun either. Or anyone else, for that matter. Seems gross.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his words, your heart warming at the shared sentiment.

The corners of your lip turned upward.

—---

Beomgyu’s eyes remained fixated on you as you twirled around in front of the mirror, and he couldn’t help but feel like he was witnessing something magical. His heart skipped a beat as he admired how the dress accentuated every graceful movement you made.

“Gyu…”

“CHOI BEOMGYU!”

“What?!” Beomgyu snapped, trying to appear engrossed in the magazine in his hands. “I was in the middle of reading an article! Hilary Duff’s secrets to conquering acne and online haters—front cover exclusive.” He held up the magazine proudly, hoping his distraction tactic worked.

You giggled, “Gyu, how do I look?”

“The dress is... um, good,” Beomgyu stuttered, his cheeks turning pink as he peeked over the magazine. ‘Good?’ He mentally scolded himself. ‘Could you be any more awkward?’ He wanted to say you looked breathtaking, enchanting, but the words seemed to escape him in that moment.

“That’s all?” Yeonjun teased from behind his own magazine, grinning mischievously at Beomgyu.

“Can I live?” Beomgyu shot back, feeling Yeonjun’s teasing intensify his embarrassment.

In his head, Beomgyu cursed Yeonjun’s nosiness. Maybe keeping his feelings for you a secret would have been a better idea.

—--------

“What the fuck was that?” Beomgyu exploded as he stormed into his apartment, Yeonjun trailing behind with a thousand apologies.

“I said I was sorry! I panicked!” Yeonjun exclaimed, his voice filled with regret.

“Undo what you just did,” Beomgyu demanded, pacing back and forth in the living room.

“I can’t! You saw how hurtful Soobin's new girlfriend was! I didn’t want our best friend to feel even worse seeing the love of her life get married while she’s here, still hung up on him,” Yeonjun reasoned, trying to justify his impulsive actions.

“So you drag me into it?” Beomgyu questioned sharply, clearly displeased.

“You were dragged into it when you told me you liked her! Face it, Gyu, everything you said today about the two of you was true, except that you didn’t actually tell her you like her.”

“And for good reason!” Beomgyu shot back. “You saw how worked up she was over Soobin! She even agreed to fake date me just to get back at him!”

“Maybe it’s a good thing!” Yeonjun attempted to console him.

“Yeah, totally! I agree. Being her fake boyfriend is so much better than being her real one! Thank you, Yeonjun! You really are Cupid! Maybe I should invite you to our fake wedding! We could have fake kids too!” Beomgyu yelled, his sarcasm dripping with frustration.

“Okay, maybe I haven’t thought it all the way through, but according to this ridiculous post by Soobin’s girlfriend, they’re going to be here all month. So why don’t you two start posting cute couple shit, first convince Soobin that you got the girl, and then actually get the girl?” Yeonjun suggested with a mischievous grin.

“What kind of sick, twisted, and insane plan is that?” Beomgyu felt his last shred of sanity being pushed out the window by Yeonjun's outrageous suggestion.

“A really, really bad one,” Yeonjun admitted sheepishly, realizing the mess he had inadvertently created.

—-----------

"So we’re doing this?" Beomgyu gulped nervously.

"I guess. I mean, how hard is it to act like we’re in love? You and Yeonjun do it all the time," you teased lightly.

"I’m gonna need you to take whatever you said back," Beomgyu replied with a mock shudder.

"Should our first date be at Lotte World then? I heard senior citizens get half off. We can bring Yeonjun," you joked, chuckling at the thought.

Your humour eased some of Beomgyu's tension, though it also stirred something deeper within him. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that you had grown closer to Beomgyu after Soobin's departure. You practically lived at his place, even having your own drawer there now. While Beomgyu wasn't trying to replace Soobin, he had become Your Beomgyu in a way that was uniquely yours.

“MAY DAY!” Kai’s voice echoed through the hallways as he barged into Beomgyu’s room, phone in hand. “Look!” He shoved the phone screen in front of Beomgyu's face.

Soobin: Great seeing you guys the other day! We should hang out again. Maybe just the 6 of us like old times.

“Did you reply?” Beomgyu asked, trying to mask his concern.

“I…”

“Kai…”

“LOOK! I panicked and said okay! DON’T KILL ME!” Kai screamed.

You and Beomgyu exchanged a glance, silently agreeing to a plan that would convince Soobin you were indeed in a real relationship.

“We’ll do it,” you both said in unison.

“What?” Kai looked bewildered.

“I want to do it. It’s a chance to show him that I’ve moved on,” you explained firmly.

“You’ve moved on like this far,” Kai teased, stretching his arm toward Beomgyu.

“What’s wrong with dating me?” Beomgyu joked back, though inwardly, he couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever date him if it was a different circumstance.

—--

“Hold my right hand.” Beomgyu insisted.

The two of you were walking to the diner that the 6 of you were supposed to meet up at. It was strange since the last time you were there, you and Huening were manning the counter, Beomgyu had shaggy black hair that made him look like delinquent…(well a cute delinquent but you weren’t going to let Beomgyu know that, it was gonna go to his head), Yeonjun was unemployed, Taehyun minding his own business as usual and well when Soobin…was the love of your life.

“What? Why?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“My right hand says I wuv you baby while my left hand says lets game bro!” He lifted his left arm, flexing his muscles to you.

“Beomgyu, I swear to God, if you don’t stop doing that I’ll fake break up with you right now.”

“Okay, sorry. Geez.” Beomgyu rested his arms across your waist, giving your sides a gentle squeeze. “Nervous?”

“Well…I’m fake dating my best friend to get back at my ex-crush who promised he’d wait for me and then got together with the woman he said he didn’t have any feelings for and is now engaged to her. Yeah. Kinda.” You rambled, sweat dripping down your forehead.

“Look, it’s just the 6 of us today. No weird looks from the loony with the bug eyes.” Beomgyu tried reassuring you.

“It wasn’t her I was worried about. It’s Soobin.”

“Oh.”

“It’s stupid.” You sighed, feeling your body tense as you inched closer to the familiar neighbourhood.

“Try me.”

“It’s just…when I look at him, it’s like I’m 18 again. The feelings come rushing back when I don’t want it to. I was an idiot then.”

“You’re not an idiot.” Beomgyu pursed his lips before continuing. “You’re you. You love hard and you mourned what could’ve been. You’re a person with feelings and I- we love you for that.”

Blood rushed to your cheeks. The feeling of shyness overwhelmed you.

Clearing your throat, you pointed up to the diner, “There it is.”

You felt your throat closing up. Were you really about to fake date your best friend who you supposedly had no feelings for just to get back at someone who you liked 2 years ago? Were you about to stoop so low just to feel like you’ve gotten back at him? What were you aiming to achieve?

“There’s the lovebirds!” Kai’s voice echoed throughout the little cafe.

The place still looked the same. The crooked paintings on the wall, the jagged tear on the booth sofa that Kai made when he dropped a pair of scissors and the rusty wall decor that your manager insisted on keeping though you said the customers complained about its stench. Oddly enough, the stench was strangely comforting to you. It reminded you of the old times.

Your eyes found its way to Soobin, who was wearing a tight black shirt that clung onto his body for its dear life, khaki pants that accentuated his calves and a pair of black converse. His jet black hair slicked back with gel as he unintentionally flexed his arm, gripping onto the large glass of milkshake with his left hand. God, he was gorgeous. Fuck. You thought.

As you took a seat between Taehyun and Beomgyu, you felt his piercing gaze burn holes through your head.

“Well, never thought I’d see the six of us back here.” Beomgyu spoke after the painful and excruciating minute of silence.

“Can’t believe Mr. Kim still keeps that hideous picture of us up there.” Kai pointed to the featured wall.

Mr. Kim, your old manager, had a wall dedicated to employees of the month. Kai had been employee of the month for 3 months straight while you for 2. On a technicality, you were the only two people who worked for him for these 5 months.

“Aw come on, at least you look cute in yours. I look like a sloth. Look at my eyebags.” You laughed.

“I think you look pretty.”

You looked up, locking eyes with Soobin who had just called you words you never thought you’d ever hear come out from his pretty little mouth.

“Thank you?” You squeezed Beomgyu’s hand.

“Thank you on behalf of my girlfriend. I guess I’ve finally found one thing we both can agree on.”

“Your eyebags were horrendous.” Taehyun brought up, shaking his head.

“They were.” You groaned, “You guys didn’t think to get me collagen masks for my birthday?”

“We got you something better.” Beomgyu said. “Remember?”

“You guys got me a custom pillow with Chris Evans on the front.” You sighed.

“THAT WASN’T MY IDEA!” Yeonjun yelled, “It was Soobin’s!”

“Only because she said she wanted to marry him!” Soobin defended himself. “She was in love with him all throughout college!”

“Well, it could still happen!” You fought.

“Doesn’t he already have a girlfriend?” Kai chuckled. “Oh wait a minute. Don’t YOU already have one?”

“I’m pretty sure Gyu would be okay with me leaving him for Chris Evans.” You giggled.

“Don’t worry. We have a pact. She can bump Chris Evans if I can bump Scarlett Johansson.”

“They’re on our list.” You joked along.

It was strange. You felt like you were 18 again. Laughing away like nothing could hurt you. Like Soobin hadn’t left.

“So…um…Soobin, when’s the big wedding?” Yeonjun asked.

This got you interested. When was the big wedding? How did they even find time to fall in love between the 2 months of Soobin moving in? What happened to “she’s not even in this department” or “she didn’t have anything to do with my promotion?” You were having thoughts. Bitter thoughts.

“Next month.” Soobin answered.

The atmosphere died. Taehyun who was sitting beside you stiffened.

“We weren’t invited?” Taehyun spoke. He had always been the more direct one out of all of you. Though Beomgyu was talking shit most of the time, you still knew he had moments when he couldn’t naturally articulate his anger..

“Guys…”

A pregnant pause engulfed the entirety of the room. Taehyun sighed before finally bursting.

“No, seriously. First you leave us, and after 2 months you just stopped contacting us altogether. You got with someone you promised was a one night stand. You left our best friend waiting on your stupid fuckboy ass and didn’t update us about anything, came back 2 years later saying you’re getting married to said one night stand and didn’t invite us to your wedding? God…we were so off when we voted Yeonjun as the first person to leave the friend group.” Taehyun rambled.

“Hey! What the fuck. When did this voting take place?” Yeonjun gasped.

“On Gyu’s birthday but…holy shit, why’d you even wanna come hang with us?” Kai finally mustered the courage to talk.

“I missed you guys. I missed us. I’m sorry, I know I fucked up-”

“Fucked up doesn’t cut it. We’re clearly not as important as we thought we were.” Taehyun’s voice grew an inch louder. Accumulating stares from all around the diner, you cleared your throat and held Taehyun’s hand, “It’s okay.”

“No. It’s not.” Soobin spoke, his voice filled with remorse. “Please…”

“Honest to God, I don’t even know why you’re holding your wedding back in Korea. Was New York too expensive for your pip pip cheerio girlfriend?” Yeonjun spoke.

“No. I-”

“Was New York out of people to backstab so you came back to Korea to do it to us twice?” Beomgyu scoffed.

The group erupted in laughter – with the exception of Soobin. Just like he was in the past, he didn’t like being the end of people’s jokes.

“No. It’s because I’m moving back to Korea.”

—--

You felt slightly defeated. All that talk, and you couldn’t even stay long enough for the food to arrive. You couldn’t, not with Soobin telling you that he was moving back permanently. With his fiancée. His future wife. God, you couldn’t even stomach that thought.

“Are you okay?” Beomgyu asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

“I don’t know how you want me to react, Gyu.”

Beomgyu sighed, pulling you closer to his chest. “You’re silly.”

“What?”

“For being so faithful to someone who has clearly forgotten about you.”

“Gyu, if you’re not done being an asshole th—”

“It’s been two years. He’s moved on. You should too. You deserve so much more than just waiting around crying over some mediocre guy.”

“Am I not good enough? Am I not worth the wait?” You finally broke. “The night he told me he’d be moving to New York… he told me I was worth it. I was worth the two years.”

You sighed, laying your head onto Beomgyu’s shoulder. You were mentally exhausted. Years of feeling like you weren’t chosen piled up, making you feel like you were a shitty person in every way.

You continued, “Just months later, I see on Instagram that he’s frolicking at tourist sites with the same girl he told me not to worry about. How am I supposed to feel? I know it’s been two years, and I know we weren’t even dating, but when I look at him, it feels like just yesterday he was telling me how pretty I looked wearing my stupid purple dress.” You took a pause, gasping for air after rambling to Beomgyu and crying while at it.

“God,” Beomgyu mumbled, rolling his eyes.

“What? You must think I’m pretty stupid.”

“What? Yeah. I do,” Beomgyu said.

“What the fuck. You’re supposed to be comforting me!”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Beomgyu sighed. “You’re better than this. You can’t be moping around forever. Sure, he was your first love, but it doesn’t mean he was your only love. You’re incredibly beautiful and have the purest heart, despite being a little devil at times. If Soobin doesn’t see what he’s missing out on, then maybe he wasn’t that great in the first place. Move on. You can do much better than being sad over a man.”

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, reeling the emotions back in.

What Beomgyu had said essentially pulled you back to reality. You corrected your posture and cleared your throat. “I’m sorry,” you repeated.

“You don’t have to be. I’m just say—”

“I know, and I needed that.” Leaning in closer to your best friend, you kissed both sides of his cheeks, feeling the warmth of his face between your lips and his skin. “I love you.”

“Mhm,” he mumbled, looking away from you.

“Hey, are you blushing?” you sang. You teasingly pulled his arm. “Come on. Let me see your face.”

“I’m not! You’re just so ugly. I had to turn away.”

“Oh, come on,” you rolled your eyes. “You know the thing you said about Soobin being my first love?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, he wasn’t,” you chuckled.

“Oh. Was it Yeonjun then?”

You shook your head. “No. He was never my type.”

“Don’t tell me,” he gasped. “Our baby Huening?”

“Gyu, be serious.”

Beomgyu gasped. “God, you know I never pegged you as a Taehyun kind of guy. Probably because he’s really smart, and you’re hanging by the thinnest thread.”

“First of all,” you flicked his forehead. “Secondly, why are you so sure it’s someone in our friend group?”

Beomgyu chuckled. “You don’t have any more guy friends besides us. Unless… this is your coming out story, which by the way, I’m totally supportive of.”

“It’s not,” you laughed. “Anyway, as I was saying…”

You kept mum. You weren’t sure if the revelation of what you were about to say would scare him off.

“Nevermind,” you cowered.

“What? Man, I hate it when you do this! You get me all interested only to say nevermind.”

“It’s not even that important!”

“Everything you say is important,” Beomgyu prodded.

“You’re just saying that because you wanna know!”

“Okay then tell me!”

“It’s just… you know,” you stuttered. “It was you.”

“Huh?”

“My first… love?” you cringed as you said it. You hadn’t expected to tell Beomgyu that, not after you’d just cried over his ex-best friend.

—----------------------

You first met Soobin’s friends when you were at his place. It was only about the 4th time you’ve ever been to Soobin’s. He had invited you under the guise of watching a movie he’d been too scared to watch alone. You weren’t exactly expecting company but here Beomgyu and Huening Kai were – at Soobin’s doorstep with jumbo sized packets of cheetos and three large sodas.

“Shit. We didn’t know you were gonna have company.” Beomgyu grinned at Soobin whose cheeks turned bright red.

“I literally told you guys in the group chat yesterday,” Soobin rolled his eyes as he grabbed the bag of chips out of Beomgyu’s arms.

“Well, hello there.” Kai donned his infamous sheepish smile, extending a hand, “I’m Huening Kai. You can call me Huening or Kai but people usually call me handsome kid.”

“I’ll be sure to call you the latter then.” You giggled, accepting his hand shake.

Kai moved, walking toward the sofa and your eyes landed onto the person behind Kai.

“Hi.” You breathed. He was quite literally the most beautiful person you’ve ever laid your eyes upon. Shaggy long hair, long lashes, eyes that sparkled brighter than the sun, his legs beating the distance from Earth to Mars. You were in love.

“Hi, I’m Beomgyu!” He beamed. Even his smile was pretty.

You managed to stutter your name out like the idiot you were.

Your personality had become a complete 0. It tended to do that when you were with someone you found extremely attractive.

Soobin pulled you aside, “Why are you all fidgety and awkward?”

“I’m just…nervous.”

“What? You were all happy and excited to see Kai but when Beo- oh my God. You think he’s cute, don’t you?”

“Shut up! He’s gonna think I’m weird!” You hit Soobin’s shoulders. “Please don’t make it awkward.”

“I won’t. Besides, I think you guys would be great together.”

—-------

Along the way, Beomgyu had a couple of girls he had a crush on, all of them distinctly different from how you were. So different. You just figured you weren’t his type and gradually forgot about how you felt about him. However, the feeling came back every now and then he had done something sweet. But somehow, you managed to convince yourself that Beomgyu was just your platonic soulmate.

—----

“Do you think he likes me back?” You asked Soobin, who had his airpods in.

“What? Did you say something?”

“Nothing.” You shook your head, embarrassed that you’d even ask a question like that.

“Maybe.” Soobin answered.

“I thought you didn’t hear what I said.” You scoffed.

"I like it when you bring embarrassing shit up. Sue me," Soobin laughed. "Seriously, if you're that worried, just tell him you like him. If he doesn't feel the same, it's not a big deal. Gyu isn't the type to make things awkward with someone he doesn't want to lose."

“What if I make things awkward?”

“Oh 100% gonna happen if it goes south.” Soobin laughed.

“Scoobs…” You whined.

"But it won’t. Because you’re amazing. He’d be an idiot not to like you. What’s there not to like?" Soobin smiled. You didn’t really notice, but the smile faded as soon as you stood up to walk to the kitchen.

“You know what, maybe I will tell him I like him. Thanks, Soobin.” You grinned.

—

You hate to admit it but the whole fake dating thing had you thinking about what could’ve been and had inevitably forced you to revisit the feelings you once had for him.

You and Beomgyu walked into the bar that Kai had been raving about for weeks.

Scanning the rooftop for your friends, your eyes finally landed onto Taehyun who had been aggressively waving to the both of you.

“Why the fuck are you guys holding hands? Soobin isn’t even here yet.” Kai smirked. “Unless…”

“Oh shut up.” You deadpanned which made Kai’s grin wider.

“We were just practising.” Beomgyu said.

—

“Beomgyu, I like you.” You said, staring at yourself in the mirror. The goofy look plastered on your face didn’t help ease any of your anxiety.

“That’s it?” Soobin sighed, “Where’s the heart?”

“Scoobs, I can barely talk to him or look him in the eye. How romantic do you think this confession should be?”

“Look…I’ve already told the boys. We’re all gonna back out from movie night last minute and the two of you are gonna be alone. We’ve practically set up the perfect date for the two of you!” Soobin yelled.

“I hardly think seeing a movie about apes is romantic.”

“Well, Kai picked the movie before we even planned the date so…”

“This is ridiculous.”

Soobin and the rest of the boys were stationed a few feet away from you. All in dark disguises, shielding themselves from Beomgyu who could potentially be anywhere.

“This is ridiculous.” You whispered through your airpods.

“You look great.” Taehyun gave you a thumbs up from 5 feet away.

“He’s gonna know something’s up!”

“Why? Just because you’re wearing a cute purple dress and you’re finally not in sweats and don’t look like a homeless person?” Yeonjun wondered aloud.

“What I need is encouragement.” You sneered.

“You look beautiful.” Soobin mumbled. “Really.”

You looked up and saw Soobin offering you a tiny smile. You grinned as your anxiety lowered.

“FUCK, HE’S HERE!” Kai panicked into the mic, jumping behind a large poster.

“There you are! I’ve called you like 5 times but it keeps hanging up on me. Are you on another call?” Beomgyu asked.

“Uh…” You shook your head. “No! I guess something’s wrong with my phone.” You chuckled awkwardly.

“Well, get this, the boys ditched movie night.” Beomgyu rolled his eyes.

“We can go home if you want.” You blurted.

“What? No! We can still have fun. We don’t need those idiots.”

“So you still wanna catch this movie?”

“God, no.” Beomgyu shook his head. “I’m slightly thankful Kai isn’t here because then I wouldn’t have to watch that shit.”

“Tell him you like him.” You heard Kai’s voice echo through your AirPods.

“No,” you said aloud.

“What?”

“Oh! I said, 'Oh!'” You laughed awkwardly.

“Just tell him already. I’m getting bored,” Kai repeated.

“Beomgyu. I need to tell you something.”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Gyu. I li-”

“GYUBEAR!” A girl screamed, prancing in to hug Beomgyu.

You froze, the words caught in your throat as you watched Beomgyu wrap his arms around the new girl, smiling brightly at her. With a forced smile, you turned away, hiding the disappointment that gripped your chest.

"Who... who is this?" you asked, feeling a knot of confusion tightening in your chest.

"This is Rina. She's my new girlfriend," Beomgyu grinned, his smile widening as he introduced her.

She looked...wildly different from how you did. Just like the rest of the girls Beomgyu had previously dated. Nothing like you.

Your heart sank at his words, the weight of missed opportunity pressing down on you. You forced a smile, trying to hide your disappointment. "Oh, hi Rina!" you managed to say, though your voice wavered slightly.

Rina beamed at you, oblivious to the turmoil inside you. "Nice to meet you! Beomgyu talks about you all the time," she said cheerfully, squeezing Beomgyu's hand affectionately.

You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat. Kai's voice echoed in your mind, urging you to confess your feelings, but now it felt too late. You glanced at Beomgyu, trying to mask your emotions behind a facade of happiness for him. "I'm really happy for you both," you said softly, your smile feeling more forced than ever.

Beomgyu looked at you with a hint of concern in his eyes, noticing the change in your demeanor. "Thanks," he said gently, reaching out to touch your arm briefly.

“Oh right, what were you gonna say?” Beomgyu asked, his voice filled with curiosity as he turned his attention back to you, oblivious to the turmoil raging within you.

You hesitated for a moment, caught off guard by his question. The truth hung heavy in the air, but with Rina standing there, her hand still intertwined with Beomgyu's, it felt like a betrayal to admit your feelings now.

"It's nothing," you replied with a forced smile, shaking your head slightly. "Just... congratulations again on your relationship with Rina. I'm really happy for you."

Beomgyu frowned slightly, sensing something unsaid in your response. "Are you sure?" he asked gently, concern evident in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure," you insisted, trying to sound convincing. "It was nice meeting you, Rina. I’m gonna get some popcorn. Or go to the toilet actually.” You laughed.

As you retreated to the concession stand, you couldn't shake the feeling of regret and sadness. Kai's voice echoed in your mind once more, urging you to be honest with yourself and with Beomgyu. But now, it felt like too little, too late.

You leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths to steady yourself. The weight of unspoken words and missed chances hung heavily on your heart, leaving you grappling with what could have been if only you had spoken up sooner.

–

“Well if it isn’t my favourite couple!” Yeonjun grinned as he wrapped his long lanky arms across you and Beomgyu’s shoulder.

“Why are we here again?” Taehyun sighed. “Thought we were done with him.”

“Unfortunately I don’t think we’ll be getting rid of the devil any time soon.” Beomgyu mumbled, his hands still around your waist.

The five of you gazed upon the tall fucking building that Soobin had invited all of you to. His pre-wedding party. A day you dreaded. You didn’t understand why he bothered inviting the lot of you. You weren’t friends well at least not anymore.

The room was decorated in the colours cobalt blue with tiny tinges of gold which made you gag.

“Stop looking so…” Kai thought as he looked at you. He paused, unable to find words to describe the sad look on your face.

“Ugly?” Yeonjun muttered.

“I was going to say worried.”

“We do NOT need this type of negative energy tonight. We are out here as sworn brothers.” Taehyun spoke before looking at you, “And sister! Tonight we breach the enemy’s headquarters but we shall rise above all else and make it out alive.”

“Y’know she’s allowed to feel whatever she’s feeling.” Beomgyu said, surprising everyone.

“A level headed response from our group’s own comedic legend? Ladies and gentlemen, we have officially landed in Neverland.” Yeonjun said.

“Shut up, asshat.” Beomgyu deadpanned, “I just think we should be supportive friends tonight.”

“I’m fine, Gyu. Thanks. Actually, I’m feeling fine. Sure, the person I once loved is marrying someone else. Sure, I was in love with him for like a billion years. Sure, it hurts to see him standing there with a beautiful girl in his arms with a hundred people congratulating him.”

“Once loved? Clear improvement! Applause for our friend who has matured.” Kai cheered.

“Any other positives there?” Yeonjun asked.

“Yeah. I still have you guys!” You beamed. “4 equally annoying, equally shitty assholes that somehow manage to make everything a little bit better!”

“But like…you like me better though right?” Kai coughed.

“Meh.”

Just a few moments later, you found yourself situated in the balcony, getting fresh air away from well everyone and everything. Beomgyu appeared behind you.

“Hey.”

"Hey," you replied softly, not turning to face Beomgyu. The city lights sprawled out before you, a sea of twinkling distractions that offered solace from the chaotic scene inside.

Beomgyu leaned against the balcony railing beside you, his presence a comforting weight in the tense air. "You doing okay?"

You nodded, but the knot in your stomach betrayed your attempt at nonchalance. "Yeah, just... wasn't expecting all this, you know?"

"Yeah," Beomgyu sighed, his voice tinged with understanding. "It's a lot to take in."

You finally turned to look at him, catching the sincerity in his eyes. Despite the teasing and banter among your friends, Beomgyu's gaze held an unwavering concern that spoke volumes. "Thanks Gyu for always being here for me." you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Always," he replied softly, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Even if we're forced into attending devil's parties."

You chuckled weakly, grateful for his attempt to lighten the mood. "Seriously, though. You...all of you have been my rocks through all of this."

"We're always here," Beomgyu reassured you, his voice gentle. "No matter what."

The sincerity in his words warmed you, and for a fleeting moment, the weight on your chest felt a little lighter. "I appreciate that," you admitted, turning your gaze back to the city lights.

Silence settled between you, comfortable and companionable. The night breeze swept around the balcony, carrying away some of the tension that had built up inside you.

Beomgyu chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners with genuine warmth. "No tears today though? Impressive."

"Or maybe I've just reached the peak of emotional numbness," you joked, though there was a hint of truth in your words.

He nudged your shoulder playfully. "Nah. You've always been resilient, even when things get tough."

You tilted your head, considering his words. "Maybe you're right. I guess I've spent enough time wallowing."

"Exactly," Beomgyu nodded, his voice earnest. "It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, but it's also okay to move forward."

"Besides, there are plenty of other fish in the sea," you added with a wry smile, trying to inject a bit of levity into the moment.

Beomgyu chuckled softly. "Exactly. And who knows, maybe one of those fish will surprise you."

You nodded thoughtfully, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. "Yeah, maybe."

Beomgyu looked over to you. He found you especially pretty that night. He pinched himself.

'Don't make a move on her, you idiot.' He thought to himself.

Beomgyu cleared his throat, suddenly feeling self-conscious under your gaze.

"So, any particular fish caught your eye tonight?" he asked with a playful grin.

"I don't know so far the only fish worth seeing is you."

Your playful remark caught Beomgyu off guard, causing a slight blush to rise to his cheeks. He chuckled nervously, his playful grin faltering for a moment as he processed your words.

"Smooth," he managed to reply, his tone a mix of surprise and amusement. "But seriously, I hope I'm not the only fish you're stuck with tonight."

You laughed softly, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood once more. "If I'm being honest, you're the only fish I'd want to be stuck with tonight."

Beomgyu's smile widened, a warmth spreading through him at your words. "I'm honoured," he replied sincerely, his gaze softening as he looked at you.

"You don't have to thank me too much though," he finally said, his voice gentle. "Being there for you, supporting you—it's just what friends do, right?"

"Right...friends..." Your voice trailed off, sensing a shift in the atmosphere between you and Beomgyu. The word "friends" hung in the air.

Beomgyu hesitated, his gaze flickering between your eyes as if searching for something. "Yeah," he agreed softly, his tone thoughtful. "Friends."

—

The five of you didn’t spend long there. In fact, none of you even bothered waiting for Soobin to make his obligatory rounds to your group. Within 20 minutes, you eagerly departed for the nearest diner around the corner.

The air was still, the night unusually calm. Your heart had raced furiously earlier, but now you felt surprisingly composed. A bit melancholic before the party, perhaps, but now? You were okay.

You exchanged glances with your four friends, then locked eyes with Beomgyu.

Ah, Beomgyu. Your rock. Your closest friend in the world. Secretly, you knew you probably favored him over the others. Though you’d never admit it to Kai. Beomgyu was amazing. Wonderful. Handsome. Kind. Funny.

You shook your head forcefully.

No. He’s your best friend. You can’t, shouldn’t, and won’t fall for ANOTHER best friend, especially one who you know would never feel the same way.

But his hair... so well-kept, smelling faintly of peaches.

Nope. Not today!

His lips... soft, plump, and so...

“Dude,” Yeonjun interrupted, nudging you.

“Huh? What?” You snapped out of your reverie, jolted back to reality.

“Your order?” Yeonjun nodded towards the server.

“Oh, right!”

—

It was late at night, and the world outside had quieted down to a gentle hum. You lay in bed, bathed in the soft glow of your bedside lamp. Tonight, however, your mind kept circling back to one person: Beomgyu.

You couldn't shake the memories of the day, the way Beomgyu's laughter had echoed in your mind, his smile etched vividly in your thoughts.

As you lay there, thoughts tangled and emotions swirling, you realised with a sudden clarity that your feelings for Beomgyu had resurfaced. Your heart skipped a beat at the realisation, and you couldn't deny the surge of excitement mixed with apprehension.

But you knew better than to let yourself fall for him again. You remembered the pain of unrequited love, the heartache of hoping for something that couldn't be. You couldn't bear the thought of opening up your heart once more, only to risk getting hurt all over again.

With a sigh, you pushed aside those burgeoning feelings, burying them deep within as a protective measure. You reminded yourself of the importance of guarding your heart, of prioritising your own emotional well-being.

Except... you weren't one to prioritise your own well-being. You were drawn to the allure of risking it all, of plunging into the unknown even when it meant potential heartache.

So there you were, wide awake in the stillness of the night, wrestling with an irrational urge to head over to Beomgyu's house and confess your sudden realisation of feelings.

The thought gnawed at you, refusing to be ignored. What if this time was different? What if Beomgyu felt the same way? The uncertainty was both terrifying and exhilarating, stirring a whirlwind of emotions within you.

Before you could overthink it further, you found yourself grabbing your keys and slipping out into the quiet darkness. The drive to Beomgyu's house was a blur, adrenaline coursing through your veins as you wrestled with doubts and hopes in equal measure.

Arriving at his doorstep, you hesitated for a moment, your heart pounding against your chest. With a deep breath to steady yourself, you knocked softly, the sound echoing in the silence of the night.

—--

As soon as Beomgyu arrived home, he climbed onto his bed and slid under the covers. The events of the evening replayed in his mind like a movie on repeat, each scene vivid and etched with emotions he struggled to make sense of..

Having active and lively monologues was a frequent occurrence. Sure, it helped him rationalize his thoughts and emotions, but it also bruised his ego and dragged him into the depths of despair when he realized how chaotic his own thoughts and emotions were, beyond rescue.

Dear God, how he wished he had no emotions whatsoever.

Bzzz.

Gyu: You okay? You: Yep. Why are you still awake? It’s 3. Gyu: Could say the same to you.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard.

He typed, “Wanna come over?”. He erased the message and shook his head.

He typed again, “I’m feeling kinda lonely and I miss you. Come over?” He erased the message and let out a sigh in frustration.

He typed again, “I think I like you.” He erased the message and screamed into his pillow.

Bzzz.

You: Open the door.

Beomgyu walked over to his door and there you were, in the flesh, almost as if he manifested it.

“What... what are you doing here?”

“Look… I’m done,” you sighed, your voice trembling with emotion. “I can’t be your pretend girlfriend anymore. I don’t want to keep lying to everyone.”

“What... what’s the sudden—”

“I should’ve done this a long time ago. I should’ve told you the truth and I should’ve been more brave about my feelings. If I've learnt anything from the situation with Soobin is that I've spent too long wallowing in being fearful I'd get rejected but -”

“What?”

"That movie night years ago with that Rina girl... I had feelings for you. Strong ones," you admitted, the words tumbling out in a rush. "I had planned to tell you that night."

Beomgyu gazed at you, his face a blend of surprise and confusion. His thoughts raced, connecting dots from the past, comprehending the unspoken tension and meaningful glances between you.

"I... I had no idea," he finally murmured, his voice barely audible.

“I know,” you nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. “But now you do.”

The room fell silent, tension thick in the air as you both stood there, words hanging between you like a delicate thread.

"And... tonight... I was in bed. I was doing a lot of thinking," you continued, your voice steadying as you gathered your thoughts. "I thought of Soobin, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm glad he's getting married and I'm glad he's happy. I've been holding onto my resentment towards him, but it's time to let that go. It was a dick move for him to move on so quickly from what could've been, but he fell in love. I couldn't... I couldn't possibly stand in the way of love."

Beomgyu listened intently, trying to grasp the significance of your words as they hung in the air between you.

"I don't understand—" he started to say.

"And then... I thought of you," you interrupted softly, your gaze meeting his with a mixture of vulnerability and determination. "I thought about what you've done for me in the past few years. The moments we've shared, the laughter, the support. What we have..."

Beomgyu's expression softened, his eyes searching for understanding. "What about it?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I realised..." you began, your voice wavering slightly as you laid bare the truth of your heart. "I realised that I've been denying myself something real. Something I've wanted for so long but was too afraid to admit."

A flicker of hope lit up in Beomgyu's eyes, a spark of understanding dawning on him as he processed your confession.

“I know you don’t feel the same way but–” you started, your voice faltering as you braced yourself for the inevitable letdown.

Beomgyu's brows furrowed slightly, his expression shifting from anticipation to concern. "Wait," he interrupted softly, reaching out to gently grasp your hands in his. "Don't assume what I feel."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, uncertainty mingling with a glimmer of hope. "But you never said..." you trailed off, unable to hide the vulnerability in your voice.

Beomgyu took a deep breath, his gaze steady as he searched for the right words. "I've been afraid," he confessed quietly. "Afraid of losing our friendship, of making things awkward between us. You may not know this but I've...loved you. For as long as I can remember. You constantly talked about Soobin. You were in love with him, for Pete's sake. I couldn't...I couldn't do that to either of you."

Your heart sank, burdened by unspoken fears and missed opportunities. "Oh," you murmured, struggling to steady your voice amidst a whirlwind of emotions. "But the girls... Look, one reason I've hesitated to tell you how much I like you is because of how different the girls you've dated are from who I am. We're...literal opposites."

"Look every girl I possibly dated, if they had at least a single common trait that you had? I’d immediate associate them with you. In my mind, there is no one BUT you." He sighed.

"And," Beomgyu interjected softly, gently squeezing your hands, "that doesn't mean I haven't thought about... about us and what might have been.""

"You have?" you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Beomgyu nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah," he admitted, his eyes never leaving yours. "I've thought about what it would be like if we took that step."

Your breath caught in your throat, a mix of relief and joy flooding through you. "So... what does that mean?" you asked softly, needing to hear him say the words.

Beomgyu took a step closer, closing the gap between you until you were standing inches apart. "It means," he began, his voice tinged with both apprehension and determination, "that I like you. More than I've admitted before. In fact, Yeonjun probably has written a book about all the times I’ve called him to giggle over every interaction we’ve had.”

You couldn't help but chuckle at his admission, a wave of affection washing over you. "Really?" you teased back, your heart fluttering with newfound hope.

“So what happens now? Soobin…” Beomgyu’s voice trailed off.

“Is in the past,” you replied firmly, meeting his gaze with unwavering determination. “Whatever happened with Soobin doesn’t matter anymore. This is about us, right here, right now.”

“Bro, you are sooo in love with me.” Beomgyu teased.

"Well, maybe just a little," you admitted with a shy smile, your heart beating a little faster as you looked into his eyes.

Beomgyu's expression softened, his gaze unwavering as he reached out to gently cup your cheek. "I'm glad you're here, you know? I've wanted to say this for a while."

Your breath caught at his touch, the sincerity in his voice stirring something deep within you. "I'm glad too," you replied softly, leaning into his hand.

He hesitated for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts. "I... I don't want to rush things. But I also don't want to hold back anymore."

"I understand," you nodded, your fingers lightly tracing patterns on his chest. "We'll take it one step at a time."

Beomgyu smiled, his eyes bright with affection. "One step at a time," he echoed, leaning in closer until his forehead rested against yours. "Thank you for being patient with me."

Your eyes fluttered to his lips. “I know we said slow but like…” You looked back at his lips.

Before you could finish your sentence, Beomgyu closed the remaining distance between you, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. The world seemed to fade away as his warmth enveloped you, melting any remaining hesitation. His lips moved against yours with a gentle urgency, as if every moment they weren't touching was a missed opportunity.

You responded eagerly, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. The kiss deepened.

When you finally pulled back, breathless and flushed, Beomgyu rested his forehead against yours. His hand found yours, fingers intertwining as if to anchor you both in this shared reality.

"I'm sorry," he murmured softly, his voice tinged with emotion. "I couldn't wait any longer."

“So should we tell Yeonjun? I fear he’s probably the most excited that we finally happened.”

Beomgyu chuckled softly, his forehead still resting against yours as he considered your question. His thumb traced gentle circles on the back of your hand, a silent reassurance in his touch.

"I think Yeonjun might have guessed already," he replied with a teasing grin, his eyes opening to meet yours. "But we should definitely tell him. And the others too. They've been rooting for us, in their own unique ways."

You nodded, a smile spreading across your face at the thought of sharing your happiness with your friends. "They'll be thrilled," you agreed, squeezing his hand affectionately.

—

It’d been a day or two since the two of you confessed to one another. You wouldn’t call yourselves official but you did spend the entire two days…well let’s just say, you’d be forced to wear a turtleneck all week.

"Gyu, I swear to God, you're an idiot," you muttered under your breath as you carefully applied another layer of foundation to your neck.

"What?" Beomgyu replied, his tone teasing and smug.

You shot him a playful glare in the mirror. "You've given me the biggest hickey ever. I'm going to have to wear a turtleneck all week just to hide it."

Beomgyu chuckled, unapologetic. "I couldn't help it."

Rolling your eyes, you finished blending the makeup and turned to face him. "Well, I hope you're happy. I look like I got attacked by a vampire."

"Maybe I am a vampire," Beomgyu quipped, leaning in to kiss you on the cheek.

You swatted him away playfully. "You're lucky I like you so much."

"Well...its about time we spill the beans." Beomgyu spoke.

"What beans?" you asked, raising an eyebrow in mock suspicion.

Beomgyu's eyes twinkled with excitement. "About us, of course. I think it's time everyone knows."

"Us? I'm sorry... I don't recall you ever asking me to be... um... yours," you replied, trying to lighten the moment with a teasing tone. Beomgyu blinked, momentarily taken aback by your response. He chuckled softly, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Well, maybe I haven't formally asked yet, but... I thought we were on the same page."

You raised an eyebrow playfully. "Oh, is that so? And what page is that, exactly?"

He took a step closer, his expression earnest. "The page where we're Snow White and the prince and we live happily ever after without having to ask, 'Wanna be my girlfriend?'"

You chuckled at Beomgyu's whimsical analogy, feeling a mix of amusement and affection for his earnestness.

"Snow White and the prince, huh?" you mused, your teasing tone softening into a smile. "That's quite the fairy tale you're painting."

Beomgyu nodded, a shy smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, well... I guess I just thought... with everything between us..."

You studied his expression, seeing the vulnerability behind his playful facade. "Hey, I get it," you reassured him gently, reaching out to lightly touch his arm. "And you're right. We've been dancing around this for a while now."

He nodded again, his gaze meeting yours with a mix of hope and uncertainty. "So... does this mean...?"

You chuckled softly, feeling your heart swell with warmth. "It means I'm willing to give this fairy tale a shot," you said softly, a playful glint in your eye. "But you still owe me a proper date, somewhere that doesn’t involve us immediately having our clothes off within the first 5 minutes of the movie, prince charming."

Beomgyu's face lit up with relief and happiness, his arms instinctively pulling you into a warm embrace. "Deal," he murmured against your hair. "but maybe if you weren't so sexy I wouldn't be doing all that in the first place."

"So you're saying I should be glad?" You rolled your eyes.

—

The boys were seated across from you, their banter filling the air with a familiar comfort.

“Guys… Beomgyu and I have an announcement,” you declared, your voice slicing through their chatter.

Yeonjun glanced up first, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Oh? What’s up?"

Kai nudged him playfully. "Finally gonna admit you’re dating?"

Beomgyu chuckled, shaking his head. "Well, actually..."

“NO FUCKING WAY! I TOLD YOU THOSE WERE HICKEYS AND YOU WERE LIKE… ‘no she just hurt herself with a curling iron…’” Kai yelled, his voice filled with mock indignation.

“Yes, Kai, tell the whole damn world about the hickeys on my neck,” you replied sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

“Sorry,” Kai muttered sheepishly, realising he may have overstepped.

“I’m so glad. I’ve been tired of hearing Beomgyu complain over his unrequited crush on you for years. Like thank God, you shut this bitch up.” Yeonjun grinned.

The banter continued, laughter echoing around the table as Beomgyu blushed slightly at Kai's teasing. "Hey, it wasn't that bad," he protested weakly, shooting a playful glare at Yeonjun.

Yeonjun leaned forward, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So, does this mean we're finally going to get invited to a wedding?"

You chuckled, shaking your head at their antics. "Let's get through the first date without any disasters, and then we can talk about weddings."

Taehyun, ever the voice of reason, raised an eyebrow. "You mean the first date where you won't have hickeys all over your neck?"

You groaned, burying your face in your hands as the table erupted in laughter again. Beomgyu squeezed your hand under the table, his eyes filled with affection and amusement. Despite the teasing and the playful banter, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the camaraderie and support of your friends.

"Yeah, yeah," you sighed dramatically, smiling despite yourself. "Next time, I'll make sure to use a better cover story."

As the laughter subsided, Beomgyu leaned in closer to you, his voice soft and sincere. "Thank you for putting up with these idiots."

You squeezed his hand back, feeling a rush of warmth at his touch. "Anytime," you replied with a smile, knowing that with Beomgyu by your side, even the teasing and the unexpected could be turned into moments of joy and connection.

---------

Beomgyu shuffled his feet, knocking on Soobin's door. "OPEN UP, DUMBASS!"

The door swung open, revealing Soobin in a worn-out shirt. Behind Soobin stood a person Beomgyu had never seen before.

“Shit. We didn’t know you were gonna have company.” Beomgyu grinned at Soobin.

“I literally told you guys in the group chat yesterday,” Soobin rolled his eyes as he grabbed the bag of chips out of Beomgyu’s arms.

“Well, hello there.” Kai donned his infamous sheepish smile, extending a hand, “I’m Huening Kai. You can call me Huening or Kai but people usually call me handsome kid.”

“I’ll be sure to call you the latter then.” You giggled, accepting his handshake.

Beomgyu placed the bags of snacks on the table and walked over to the new person Soobin had been raving about. He finally looked over to you and... you were... well, stunning. Your eyes were deep and expressive, drawing him in, while your smile both shy and captivating.

His hands, which had already opened a bag of chips, stopped as he took a moment to appreciate her beauty before getting snapped back into reality.

“Hi.” You said, introducing yourself.

“Hi, I’m Beomgyu!” He smiled, a little nervous. His mind blanked, and he didn't know how else to continue the conversation.

The pause lingered for a heartbeat too long, making the air feel thick with anticipation. Beomgyu could feel his cheeks warming up, but he tried to keep his composure.

Soobin pulled you aside, whispering something to you before pulling you into the kitchen to prepare snacks.

"Dude, you're staring. I hope you choke on a fly." Kai chuckled.

Beomgyu snapped out of his daze and shot Kai an embarrassed look.

"Shut up."

Kai chuckled, clearly enjoying Beomgyu’s discomfort. “I’m just saying, if you keep looking at her like that, you might as well introduce yourself as ‘the guy who couldn’t stop staring.’”

Beomgyu rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smile tugging at his lips. “Whatever. She’s just... really pretty.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Kai teased, nudging Beomgyu with his elbow. “But don’t worry, you didn’t make it too obvious.”

“Great,” Beomgyu muttered sarcastically. “Let’s just get through tonight without me embarrassing myself further.”

Kai patted him on the back. “You’ll be fine. Just be yourself.”

As Beomgyu watched you and Soobin laughing together in the kitchen, he took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, just be myself.”

#soobin x reader #txt fic #txt oneshot #txt x reader #beomgyu x reader #txt fanfic #txt imagines #txt scenarios

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