#i also love and find it hilarious how many lives i changed with that post

[sctumsempra]

trying to figure out when and how to tell my snily post rebloggers and commenters that i genuinely forgot that not everyone views severus snape as undeniably very trans so in my mind. the “lesbian” snily was built in. it’s not “imagine if he had been a girl” and it’s not “sapphic snily au” or whatever. it was real 2me. and i could write a meta on the double outcast of not being a Girl while being a girl and being autistic in a neurotypical world and how that is so much of what snape’s trauma is coded as but i do not have the mental energy for that. just know it bounces around in my brain 24/7

[crljhnn]

The older Jefferson

Pairing: Rodrick Heffley x fem!Reader

Summary: After Rowley announces that his older (half-)sister, who lives quite far away and has never met the Heffleys, is going to visit him over the break Susan invites his family over for dinner. Her not being what Rodrick expects, he starts crushing, which results in him trying to impress her - failing horribly.

No physical description; No use of y/n

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: None

A/N: Hi, just a quick warning that English isn’t my first language and that this is also the first time I’ve ever written a longer text in English that isn’t a school assignment. I also don’t fully understand Tumblr yet, which makes me honestly a bit anxious to post.

[This and a gender-neutral version are also posted on AO3]

“Why haven't you ever mentioned that you have an older Sister?” Rowley and Greg were sitting on the Heffleys living room floor - Rodrick occupying the whole space on the couch - playing a video game. Well, Greg was. It was a single-player. He promised they would take turns, but by now Rowley had been over for about two and a half hours and hadn’t even had the chance to touch the controller yet. He gave up on asking and settled on just watching about 45 minutes in.

“I talked about her before. Multiple times actually.” That is true. Rowley looks up to his sister a lot “Also, she is technically my Half-Sister. She’s been living with her Dad for longer than I remember. Normally we are the ones flying over to visit during summer break, but she hasn’t visited since she was a little Kid, and after her school schedule finally allowed it, we thought it would be a good idea if she, for a change, came here instead.”

“It sounds like you two get along great!” Mrs. Heffley walked in, holding a laundry basket under one arm while carrying Manny with the other.

“We do! I can’t wait to show her my room and have her around for the entire break! I have so much planned out already, it's gonna be so much fun! Best summer ever!”

“That sounds lovely Rowley, I wish Greg was so excited to hang out with Rodrick, but they just won't get along.” Susan sighed, throwing a pitiful glance at her two oldest, who simultaneously let out a laugh hearing this.”

“Yeah, never gonna happen.” Greg says, “I would rather spend the whole summer in school than voluntarily hang out with this idiot.”

“My Sister is actually around the same age as Rodrick.” Rowley buts in. Greg doesn’t understand how this is relevant, but it probably adds to his mother's yearning for her two oldest sons to get along. Rodrick lets out a laugh hearing that.

“I can’t wait to meet them. Just imagine an older, female version of Rowley. That’s actually fucking hilarious!”.

“Watch your language! Also, I'm sure she is wonderful.” Gregs Mom loosens her lecturing stance, turns around, and smiles at Rowley “I would love to have you and your family over for dinner sometime. It has been a while since I’ve seen your parents and I would love to meet your sister.”

“That sounds great Mrs. Heffley. I will ask my parents as soon as I get home!”

That brings us to about a week later, when the Jefferson family, including their oldest daughter, is standing in front of the Heffleys House, ringing their doorbell.

Rowley has been telling you all about his best friend Greg for years, which made you somewhat excited about finally meeting him. However, you can’t say that the picture your brother painted is entirely positive, finding him rather irritating in many of the stories you were told over time. You aren't too mad though, assuming it is normal for young, teenage boys to act like jerks every once in a while. Not everyone can be such a sweetheart as Rowley. Overall you're glad your brother managed to maintain such a long-lasting friendship.

And then there was Rodrick. You've heard rather interesting stories about him as well. In the beginning, you found those quite amusing, that was until you realized that Rowley was genuinely terrified of him. Not the best first impression someone could make on you. Influenced by seeing your younger sibling grow up to be such a sweet and genuine person you tend to be a bit protective from time to time.

You hear some hushed voices from inside, and you can identify one of them as female, reminding someone to behave. Then the door opens and a woman, who you assume to be Mrs. Heffley, kindly smiles at you. Your suspicion is confirmed a second later when she introduces herself and shoos you into the house, before continuing to greet the rest of your family.

Crossing the threshold you can now see a man standing slightly behind Greg's mother. He introduces himself as Frank, making quite a kind impression on you. Then he leads you into the living room to meet his sons.

The two older ones hardly even notice you at first, too occupied with arguing and rowing with each other.

“Boys!”, their father speaks up, successfully catching their attention. Rather comically their gazes fall from their father to you, their eyes widening and their mouths dropping open. You were not what they expected. While Greg looks just shocked, you would describe Rodricks state as mesmerized.

He recovers fast, pushes Greg off of him, stands up, and puts on what he hopes is a charming smile. Extending his hand he starts to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m-”

At least he tries to.

“Rodrick. I know. My brother has told me one or two rather interesting stories about you”, your smile is sharp. He gulps, his confident smile turning sheepish, cursing Rowley in his head. You are not what he expected and you are definitely not anywhere close to being a female carbon copy of your, in his eyes, embarrassing younger brother.

He normally wouldn’t consider himself the kind of person who has a type, but from now on, if someone asked, he would probably revert to describing you. You were just ethereal, everything about you was attractive to him. The way you walked, talked, and carried yourself, but also your clothing and hairstyle. Your pretty face just rounds up your whole appearance, making you all the more alluring.

He had to get on your good side. While a family dinner, especially with Greg present, may not be the best opportunity, he could ask Rowley to put in a few good words for him. That kid was easily influenced (or intimidated). Still, making the best possible impression over dinner wouldn’t cause any harm either.

You turn to the other boy who has been silently watching the exchange. Now that your attention is on him he starts feeling nervous as well. Your expression, however, turns a bit more friendly.

“And you must be Greg.” he nods. You introduce yourself and lastly say hello to Manny who is sitting on the floor playing with some figurines. By now the others have entered the room, causing Susan to start leading you all to the dining table.

You’re seated between Rowley and Greg, across from Rodrick, which results in quite frequent eye contact. On one side you really want to intimidate him a bit. This could maybe make your brother's life a bit easier, at least for the time being. On the other side, you do want to make some conversation, maybe throw in a bit of (family dinner appropriate) flirting or at least find out if he’s single.

It’s really hard to hold a grudge against someone who is entirely your type.

While you’re conflicted, Rodrick, on the other hand, is sweating. Nervously fidgeting in his seat. You didn’t seem as irritated with him anymore, if the eye contact was anything to go by. Was this his chance to redeem his shitty first impression? He cursed his brain for failing to come up with something cool to say.

Since when is it so hard to talk to girls? Is it getting hotter in here? What impresses girls? What does he normally brag about? His band! That’s it. Now he just has to bring it up somehow. Maybe he can bribe Greg to ask him about it. No, that’s too risky, he can’t count on Greg to not fuck this up. He is just going to casually bring it up ‘I’m in a band by the way, pretty sick huh?’ ‘Do you like music? Cause I’m in a band’ No that’s stupid everyone likes music… ‘Which kind of music do you listen to?’ That’s good, he should bring up the topic of music first, that’s a normal conversation topic. After that step two is to bring up the band. That’s easy, he got this.

Now he just needs to wait till your attention is on him again and then he can smoothly lead the conversation in the desired direction. He has to calm down, he can do it.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Your eyes meet again.

“I’m in a band!” He speaks way louder than intended, his voice is squeaky, and in the middle of the sentence he has the most embarrassing voice crack imaginable.

Silence.

The sole attention is now on him. All he hears is Greg's snickering which causes him to kick him under the table.

“Ow!” That was not Greg's leg. He looks up to see you looking at him with a questioning expression.

That’s it. He fucked up. His chances were already low, but he still managed to shrink them even more, making them most likely completely vanish. Great. His ears were ringing, all he can hear is Greg's quiet laughter in the background.

“I'm sorry I didn’t mean to kick you, I-” he starts his apology but loses track of what he is trying to say when he sees your expression change. You're clearly trying to suppress a smile, but it's not working at all.

“You’re adorable.” Rowley chokes on his food, and Greg's laughter abruptly stops

“Rodrick? Adorable?” That’s it. Greg gives up on ever trying to understand girls. How can his stupid older brother embarrass himself like that, then kick the poor girl under the table and still be perceived as adorable by her, especially since she is so much out of his league?

Rodrick however, was still not functioning properly.

“So that band, is its name by any chance Löded Diaper?”

“Yeah.” He is proud of himself for speaking at an appropriate volume without stuttering. “How do yo-”

“I saw your creepy white Van in front of the house. What’s up with that, kidnapping little kids as a side hustle?” You are still smiling, and with your stupid joke you somehow manage to relax the atmosphere a bit, the adults going back to their conversation.

Rodrick too is now smiling, looking at you with an expression you could only describe as lovestruck, even though you just insulted him.

He is contemplating making a joke about how the space in the back could be quite useful for more than just trapping kids but decides against it, fearing to make it awkward again. Getting nervous about taking too much time to come up with an answer he instead lands on “No only kidnapping pretty girls like you.”. As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets it, realizing it's in fact not a funny and flirty thing to say, but honestly rather creepy.

At the end of the evening, Rodrick has messed up flirting with you multiple times, however, it’s his luck that you find his desperate attempts to look cool to impress you weirdly endearing. Not that he realizes that. Calling Rodrick confused, questioning why you were still talking to him, would be an understatement.

He certainly doesn’t know how he can have messed up so many times and still end up finding a little note with your number on it in his pullover hood after you left.

[gfmima]

ex bf!kuni mini hcs bc he wont leave me alone </3

ex bf!kuni who tells his friends he moved on but keeps all ur pics in his photo album n the items u left when u moved out in the same areas u would place them when u still lived with him

(he secretly wears the promise ring he gave u as a necklace under his shirt. he nearly trashed the whole apartment after he misplaced it by mistake… it was on his bedside table the entire time)

ex bf!kuni who continues to buy ur favorite laundry soap, so all of his clothes and bedsheets smell like u. he won’t admit it but the familiar scent comforts him on a bad day. he even hugs ur pillow at night when he has trouble sleeping

the first night post break-up was difficult for him. he was so used to having ur body rest beside him, it didnt feel right to sleep without u. he forced himself to get used to the sudden change bc he didnt know when u will come back to him and if u event wanted to :(

ex bf!kuni who returns home after a long, tiring day at work and forgets you arent there to greet him anymore. his face wears a deep frown once he noticed how eerily quiet it was without u around. it was strange to yell “i’m back” and not hear ur voice reply w a cheery “i missed u!”

one time, he woke up and called out (whined) ur name, only to be met w absolute silence. needless to say, he laid in bed uncomfortable w ur absence

ex bf!kuni who acts like he doesnt care about u but goes “!” when he overhears a friend mention ur name or talks about ur latest ventures. he leaves the room after they move onto the topic of ur love life

ajax was the first person to catch onto his strange behavior, however, chalked it up to him seeing things. that was… until it happened again and again and again and again

he begged kuni to call u and get closure. ur ex would rather die than humiliate himself by listening to his friend

ex bf!kuni who looks through the photos u took as a couple whenever he misses u :( he changed his lock-screen but his wallpaper is still u

the neighborhood’s aunty caught a glimpse of it and teased him for being such a lovesick sap. she told him he was lucky to find his person at a young age and scolded him to treat u right and never let u go

sigh, if only she knew…

ex bf!kuni who convinces everyone he moved on from u and was doing well despite the end of your long relationship. his attitude didnt change, giving off the impression that he was unaffected by the break up and led many to believe he didnt love u as much as they thought

it was (hilariously) far from the truth—if anyone were to pay close attention to him, theyd spy his weary eyes and mellow demeanor and understand he was lying to save face

ex bf!kuni who goes undercover and visits the restaurants, cafes, and places u frequent in general, hoping to see u or accidentally bump into u

he stopped after it dawned on him how creepy it was of him to do this. he also didnt want to take his chances and see u w someone new. honestly, he didnt know what to do when the day comes and he spots u happy & well w another man holding ur hand

ex bf!kuni who didnt know what to say when nahida asked him why she doesnt see u anymore, why u dont visit her :(

instead of telling her the truth, he told her u were busy bc of work and that shed see u once ur schedule allows it. he was sent some knowing glances by his relatives because of his response. he knew hed be questioned about the status of ur relationship sooner or later and he wasnt ready

[wisteriagoesvroom]

📚 10 f1 fics i've loved lately 🏎️

been thinking a lot about how to organise fic recs into some sort of sensible post, 'cus there are so many (great!) pairings and (delicious!) driver combinations, not to mention so many varying styles of fic and SUPER TALENTED WRITERS!!111!!

just gonna list a bunch in no particular order, with accompanying pics, so you can get a sense of the vibes.

'cus what is f1 rpf but all about the ✨ vibes?! 🏁

p.s. people are in this community making amazing stuff for freeee!! if you liked these please leave a kudos or a comment, it makes a writer's day 🫡 

let's gooooo--

objects in the mirror by linearity (@drivestraight) charles/max. 87k words (series), rated t then e

listen. LISTEN! charles to rbr is one of the best premises ever and i will read it in like a thousand iterations. but this fic. this fic series in particular cleared my skin, made me want to cut my hair into a bob out of sheer emotion. i would be remiss not to start with this one because its impact on my f1 rpf trajectory should be studied by science. you know when a story just jumps off the page and it's so real that it becomes your canon. a kind of meteoric inevitability. plus, i almost never cry at fics. but by the time the third act of this one hit, i just went -- damn, am i rly about to tear up at a f1 rpf fanfiction rn? (yes.)

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sawtooth by nottonyharrison (@nottonyharrison) charles/max. 40k words, rated e

max as a f1 engineer? for CARLOS at FERRARI? sign me the fuckkk up. first off, awesome premise. there's always going to be something so heartwrenching about "what ifs", especially in any universe where max isn't a racer. despite the change of circumstances, just... the sheer poetry of two characters who just inexplicably find their way to each other in any universe... 🤧 also this story nails racing scenes in a way that's so visceral, i feel like a fly on the damn halo with them. and, aside from the gourmet lestappen, carlos's whole thing in this fic is joyous! spicy! he's so unapologetic and vaguely annoying! hilarious! + the swimming pool scene lives rent-free in my head.

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salt skin by peachbellini (@strawberry-daiquiris) oscar/lando. 12k words, rated e

this fic is magic. literally and figuratively. (MERMAID LANDO???? MERMAID LANDO.) the kind of story that makes you gasp and melt a little bit. and made me want to throw my phone at the writer, 'cause it's really that good. the yearning, the metaphor for all that's monstrous, a boy who is lost (and the boy who he finds, is equally so). this is just beautifully written and a little quirky and so well executed. i think i put it in my bookmarks as "what if lando was a mermaid and it was filmed by a24" or something. pearl of a story.

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hockey!! shrimp colors :) by leafmeal0ne (@ocontraire) oscar/lando. 13k words, rated t

leaf meal one. i have only known you a week but if anything were to happen to you i would wreck everyone in the room including myself. in all seriousness, anything that leaf writes is brilliant. they're one of these writers who could do a throwaway line on the label of a ketchup bottle and i will probably scream about it. the precision, the way they switch up sentence structures, the freaking darcy-level regency yearning transposed onto a contemporary sports setting. i'd rec all of leaf's sports AUs and i'll probably talk about more in a future fic rec post. BUT. the hockeyyy one my GOD. the barely restrained violence, their mutual desire, the theme of finding your place... *wails uncontrollably*

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you almost unearthly thing by anonymous max/daniel, 3.7k words, rated g

max is a governess(govern..lad?) and daniel is the mystery man at the manor. this was a response to a request i made in the kinkmeme! (if you haven't read those fics go check 'em out, there are so many great ones, and not necessarily all rated e). this is a criminally underrated little story that has my favourite repressed feelings + people dancing around each other + gothic vibes + "what the hell is wrong with y'all in this tale" combo that i really adore. it's really well written and captures the atmosphere so well.

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the so-called narrative by antimonyandthyme (@antimonyandthyme) oscar/carlos, 10k words, rated e

i'm once again asking why there are only 7 carlos/oscar works in the tag. I'M ONCE AGAIN ASKING-- *is sedated*. *jolts awake* okay but for real this is a great story. hot, fake-friendship-to-situationship which so happens is one of my favourite places to be. also hello miscommunication/they're so weird about it/they both want each other but can't express themselves for shit/insane racer boys energy.

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and silver, and samarium by pink_mink (@on-softs) george/toto, 5.2k words, rated e

i profess i am not usually the biggest fan of A/B/O (altho!! this fandom has made me go BUT ACTUALLY HM at least a few times). and this fic freaking nails it, along with the twisted power dynamics between TPs and drivers, as seen through the lens of omegaverse. this story rattles around my head like a stubborn ghoul just from the style and prose and sheer audacity alone. george kneeling at toto's knees while he's working..... ohhhhhhhhh i was this close to calling my lawyers.

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algorithm by anney (@badboy-george) charles/max, 16k words, rated e

i LOVE, LOOOOVE a sci fi concept alright. love that shit, will inhale it like moon dust with zero regrets. and what a fantastic one this one is!! the premise is that the FIA can now statistically show the compatibility of drivers on the grid and it's very pacific rim-y drift compatible, mixed with the surreal vibes of eternal sunshine or HER or some such. it should be outrageous, but it really works. that's the beauty of a great fic right there.

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trajectory of trojan asteroids by redpaint (@redpaint) nico/lewis, 3.3k words, rated g

also one of the fics i first read when i hopped on board the f1 rpf train. the pain and poignancy just gets worse the more i learn about brocedes. you know when you're like "there's no way this was reallll" and then you're like "fuck, it was so real". then you get a fic like this that just encapsulates all that rage and loss and grief and upset, set against the starry vista of endless space. *clutches tablecloth* god.

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p.s please bear in mind that these recs are entirely subjective! i enjoy loads of f1 stories but these are the ones that have especially stuck with me for some inexplicable reason.

p.p.s if your fic is on here and you want it taken off for whatever reason, i'm happy to, no questions asked 💛

BYE for now / until part 2. (i also love talking to ppl about fics so pls feel free to send an ask or hit me up in DMs or whatever.)

xoxo, -- wizz

[charmedreincarnation]

My shift to Bnha

I’ll start with the basics. For starters my reality is a bit different. The legal age is 25, so therefore school duration is longer, and our ages are different. I start UA when I was 19 years old, which made me a year 1 student. my parents are both prominent figures in hero society, and I was an only child to them. I only add this because I think it’s important to acknowledge background information because it shapes your experience and your placement in society, especially in a world filled with heroes everything is ranked and merit based.

UA .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Contrary to popular belief, at least in my reality school is very much emphasized and just as important as hero work. For me a typical day looked like, getting up at 7:45 to prepare for classes that started at 8:30 and ending at 5. We do have a one hour lunch break, and a specific period to work on our specific quirks alone any way we see fit. A lot of people do use that time to slack off and hang out with friends, but they’ve recently become very strict about it. Credits to to Tenya Ida for informing the board of what people were really doing ! A lot of people were mad but honestly I am a teachers pet in this reality so I kind of appreciated it.

I can’t speak for the other classes, maybe it’s because of everything we went to, but we are not a class we are genuinely family. I am closest to Izuku, Sui, Ochacho, Mina, Todoroki and MoMo! Not in any particular order. I’m not going to talk about everyone but here are some of the reasons I love them <3

•Mina is just as extroverted quirky and bubbly as you would expect. Shes one of those people you meet and you can’t help but adore because they energy is so welcoming and they’re so loving. She’s kind of a prankster and a rumor starter and I find it hilarious. You can’t keep anything from her, though but once she has a narrative she has narrowed upon, you have a better chance of changing the devils mind.

For example i talked about this in a different post, but she started a rumour that bakugo is in love with izuku and that’s why he’s mad all the time. It got back to bakugo and he threatened to turn the cafeteria into a live bake oven. It’s honestly hilarious how she can make a whole room laugh. Or make anyone mad.. I guess it’s a talent regardless.

•Sui is the sweetest girl ever. She kind of keeps to herself but she’s honest and what you see is what you get. She’s also kind of emotional and I am kind of a cry baby too there so we get each other. We really just want to do our best and see everyone succeed. I would say both of us made friendships are bigger priority than hero training and we have both been called out for it too.

•Ochacho is very similar to Mina but she can also get down to business when she needs to. Everyone loves her, and her powers are super helpful in any situation, like for sneaking out quietly… but I wouldn’t know anything about that. I vividly remember having a conversation about our hero progress and she’s deeply insecure. She grew up impoverished and Monterey compensation is one of the reasons that really encouraged her to be a hero. I remember one time she was telling me how impressive I was during the first few weeks of school because I had a better handle on my quirk than her. She said something of how I was meant to be a hero. It made me sad because I admired her will and determination more than anyone. I had so many factors that put me ahead in some of my peers. My mother is a pro hero and I went to a profound middle school that molded me to be ready. I told her she was born to be a hero and I was made to be a hero. I was being honest and I didn’t think it meant anything but she always reminds me of how she thinks about that anytime she’s in a situation where she needs help. Nothing made me happier

•Momo and my quirks are very similar. My quirk is called clairvoyance somnium, and my hero name is dreamer. Kind of what she can do but I visualize whatever I need. I can also do more things that I won’t get into but a lot of it, I was inspired by my shifting methods ! Anyways she’s the sweetest and we live pretty close to each other so I’ve seen her around for a while. She’s honestly very gorgeous and we both struggle with insecurities and anxiety, so she really is someone I relate and rely on. Maybe it’s because our quirks or so similar or we have similar backgrounds and personalities but… she’s probably the person I am closest with! But I really do love everyone equally

Bakugo .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

Ok lots of people ask about him so let’s go.

Yes he’s so loud and always angry. You know I thought i would be scared of him but I honestly even I even give him snarky remarks sometimes (in a nice way because I am so nice in this dr) but wow he is the loudest person I’ve ever met in any dr but his powers are amazing we all respect it

Contrary to popular belief..no one is scared of him. As angry, loud and aggressive as he is he has proven time and time again all he wants to do is be a hero. Honestly it surprised some of us but everyone knows he has kind of good intentions under his wrath ??

He also makes everything a competition and he’s actually good at eveything. He’s good at school I’m pretty sure he placed after me in mid terms ! I got third and he got fourth. He’s a great cook and baker. We had a baking competition and he placed after sato. We made ramen and he made the best ramen ! Like he’s not as dumb as he looks. He’s also in a one sided competition with Todoroki but as we have all noticed he doesn’t give a fuck.

Powers .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

This may be egotistical but I could not imagine not being a hero in a world with 80% hero. Don’t let the league of villains hear this it will fuel their fire. 🥲 in all seriousness we are lectured that we are not better than anyone, and we are simply stronger than other people and that is it so we shouldn’t let it conflate our egos. The only way we would be given the green flag to pat our own backs is when are abilities begin to save millions of lives. But then I guess if we’re only being heroes to look good then would that really make us heroes. At least that’s what I wrote about in my English essay. Present mic did in fact eat it up, I got an amazing grade on it. But that’s not the point. The point is it’s easy to get a big head but we were simply genetically lucky, not better, smarter, etc.

Now that philosophy is behind us, having powers is so cool and coming back here the limits of other realities having no bounds never fails to amaze me. Our quirks are an extension of ourselves and literally are us. It’s not second nature, it’s first nature after having these abilities for so long. Especially my quirk, if I wanted I could “dream” 500 million yen, and well I wouldn’t be able to put it in the bank but I digress. Finding out what your quirk can do and how far your cbs push your limits always allows us to be going through moments of self discovery. Having a quirk is honestly it’s own life alone, and I genuinely could not be happier.

My favorite classes .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

As a student in this incredible universe, I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to pursue many amazing topics of study.

One class I took was Hero Studies, where we learned about the many different hero theories and methods of justice, as well as what it takes to become an effective hero. We also discussed the history of the hero world and its evolution throughout the years. It was a fascinating subject and definitely one of my favorites!

The next class I took was Quirk Studies. Here we learned all about quirks, their effects on people and how they can be used to help protect civilians and stop villains. We even discussed how to best work with a partner with a different quirk, and how to combine two quirks to create a unique and powerful attack.

Finally, I also took a class called Combat Training. This class taught us all about combat techniques and how to use the environment and our natural abilities in order to survive any situation. We learned how to effectively dodge and block attacks, as well as how to use our quirks to create powerful attacks.

We of course also had the general classes of math, English, science, math, and music

The classes at UA High were some of the most interesting classes I have ever taken and I am so grateful for having the opportunity to explore them. Not only did I learn a lot about the world of My Hero Academia, but I also grew as a person and as a hero.

Random funny story .⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.

I’m going to tell you one of the funniest most embarrassing things that happened during the UA sports festive. This happened during the third event, when we were in teaams.

I was with Izuku, mei, Ochako, and fumikage. Everyone is trying to steal the headband from us because Izuku has all the points ! Everyone was targeting us and it was so unfair. during the last few seconds I started running to dream us a tower so we can hide and to grow into to the skies. Then someone came so they threw me the headband and i I was waiting for them but then they got attacked and they told me just go without them !?? I was literally shaking and my anxiety was at an all time high time so I quirked my tower or whatever and made it grow and then the time ran out! I had the headband and we thought we won and we were cheering but umm no. I was the only winner technically because I wasn’t with my team. BUT because that took away FROM the point of the team work part I was deducted points from my own Individual points because that wasn’t the point of the challenge. Honestly you win some you lose some. It was a fun experience regardless.

Also honestly i shifted here around the time of the World Cup, which I could not care less about, but I get the hype of sports witnessing Izuku’s fight against Shinso (manipulation guy.) it was so awesome !!! I was at the edge of my seat the entire time!!! So I guess Now I understand how some people feel about sports lol. By the end of the festival, I got third place overall and my mom was so proud of me. It was the honestly a great feeling.

Random dump with no correlation

my mother (Uwabami’s) Quirk gives her a trio of live snakes growing from her head. One of the snakes have acute senses, allowing her to locate hidden criminals and disaster victims.one snakes also has a scent that can make her victims mindless slaves, one snake produces poison and attacks her victims.

my father who also attended UA with my mom has Squirmy Fingers (can precisely bend and control his fingers, giving him great dexterity) As well as a High Scientific knowledge Skills IQ in engineering. I found this interesting because usually children are a combination of their parents quirks or either or, and mine has nothing to do with either lol.

Todoroki’s pretty smart though he places after Bakugou in the mid terms. he also loves to read ! He’s also politically educated and actually had profound knowledge on the history of heroes and how and why he believe hero’s and villains came to be so.. surprisingly he is more philosophical than I would think. He doesn’t really talk about it or bring it up because if you have a good conversation with him and get him to open up it is always worth.

Food

Tbh to no surprise the food options were eclectic and varied. There was something for everyone! I had everything from traditional Japanese dishes such as ramen and sushi, to western and American-style dishes like pizza and burgers. I even had access to a variety of international cuisines like Indian, Chinese, and Korean.

One of my favorite places to get a good meal was the school cafeteria. Every day it was full of delicious options, from freshly-cooked dishes to the convenience of pre-packaged items. There were also lots of drinks and snacks available. On certain days, the cafeteria also served special meals such as curry or tonkatsu.

If I was looking for something a bit more fast-paced, there were several food stalls and restaurants around town. I could find an assortment of things like ramen, takoyaki, and okonomiyaki. There were also locations that offered more unique dishes such as Japanese-style hamburgers or omurice (Omelette Rice).

Although I often ate at restaurants, I also cooked meals in my dorm room. I could make simple dishes with ingredients from the local grocery store, like fried rice, or make something more complicated with ingredients from the nearby specialty grocery store. I even tried my hand (well with sato as well) at making dango, the traditional Japanese dessert.

Tbh No matter what type of food I was looking for, UA had it though. With all of the different options available, there was something to satisfy whatever cravings I had.

I also write and speak in English so don’t ask any language questions because I do not know

[justheretoposttrash]

day 12 of the final endhawks: endhawkspocalypse:

the adhd side of my brain has taken over and decided that consistency can No Longer Happen, so i've decided to make this my last day of posting, at least when it comes to sequential daily posts. i'm still unhinged-ly working on endhawks-related things for the foreseeable future though, and always happy to talk about the ship!

here's a final hodgepodge of thoughts!

part 1 - more ch430 positives

the continued use of a ranked *number system* in particular is silly imo (ig the masses do love a catchy numbered list). but at the very least, i gotta appreciate that the main characters didn't get top rankings straight outta school--when i think about how old they are post-timeskip compared to hawks, especially! bbygirl got #2 at 22 but was child-soldiered into it and was absolutely breaking his proverbial back. it's really not an aspirational thing to beat, and it's not something the main characters have to achieve to be "cool" or fulfilled narratively. they focused on their happiness, instead--shoto on finding his own identity and balancing his life thanks to his support system, bakugo on getting his boyfriend/whatever/queerplatonic-died-in-each-others'-arms-on-a-battlefield-in-a-past-life-and-now-they-keep-reincarnating-together soul-partners/rival back at his side so they can keep pushing each other, etc.! mirio's ascent notwithstanding, it's a healthy nugget from the final chap.

another cute thing from 430 is when hawks jokes that nagant is a villain. this joke has layers to it, considering both had to take on the villain label because of the commission, also contributing to their respective traumas under the commission. (they both even had someone cradle them in their arms shouting that they were still a hero despite them being at their low points--and physically very crispy. one of those someones being hawks himself, ofc.)

next, i gotta appreciate how unfettered hawks's facial expressions have become (also, his under-eyes are already thicker and darker, bro needs to sleep 😭) compared to how subdued they were in the twice fight (and to be clear, his expressions still screamed volumes then. i love how they're drawn to convey so much nuance in his emotions). once he was cut free from the commission, he stopped putting on a smile while doing hero work (there wasn't much to smile about post-raid, but pre-raid i'd argue things were bleak for him already, so at least he doesn't feel the need to put on as many airs). he also started actively sweating and showing fear, but without losing more genuine displays of confidence and happiness. (all this makes me very curious if his speech patterns have also changed in the original japanese to any extent compared to how they were at his introduction)

part 2 - dabi=endhawks truther?!?! *not clickbait*

i remember it being kinda hilarious that dabi tossed out hawks's history as an extra "fuck you" to endeavor, but i forgot how direct he is about his intentions.

he's just like, "yeah, i specifically wanted to drag hawks (and reveal his betrayal and hopefully shake your faith in him) to hurt you, dad. even though you two have hung out, like, maybe twice (may he rest in peace) in your whole lives. trust me, i knew this would be devastating for you. don't ask me how i know." like. touya my man. what are you doing. also thank you. almost makes the angst-lover in me wish he'd added a "don't worry about hawks, dad. you'll be joining him soon" right before attacking him with prominence burn to twist the knife, though understandably that would've convoluted the spotlight when the focus was meant to be on family and the touya reveal. but goddamn, just imagine.

he basically did the exact same thing to hawks by telling him his identity. in revealing a name that could only hold any significance to hawks through its relation to endeavor and what touya's existence implies about him, touya wielded a secret from endeavor's past to psychologically hurt hawks and shake his faith. it's just wild that he did it to both of them, pulled off flawlessly and with maximum drama, in rapid succession. legendary.

anyway, ppl tend to portray dabi as an endhawks anti, when funnily he's kinda more on the side of enjoying the fact they have a connection--granted, mainly as a thing to leverage to hurt them, bc he fuckin despises them (and granted, hatred in dabi's eyes is a complicated thing)--but still! he ain't in denial about endeavor's and hawks's relationship, he's an og! he's first in line! this makes his daddy issue allegations so much worse, but he doesn't care! and honestly i owe my life to him for his service in unearthing the truth; he's doing canon, in-text work to forcefeed the public endhawks crumbs that they didn't even want, and he deserves our utmost respect 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡

part 3 - our hero academia ft. protective enji

my mind was too wrapped up in The Plot to notice the subtleties of when Press Conference Lady yells at endeavor post-raid--for one thing, i realize on a second read that she's actually kinda yelling at hawks. so much of the emphasis is on endeavor's past actions that i didn't pick up on a few key details. for one, when hawks discusses his murder of jin, the visual centers endeavor's reaction, solemn but accepting/calm.

secondly, Press Con Lady speaks up right after hawks is done talking. thirdly, what she describes--not looking sorry, empty-seeming apologies, incompetence in the face of villains--apply as criticisms equally to hawks as they do to endeavor (notably not to jeanist, as he doesn't have a past or scandalous behavior to answer for).

it's also at this time that endeavor looks more angry (just look at his frown in the panel above!) and actually gives some pricklier-sounding pushback, when before he was mainly resolved and remorseful.

notably, he's translated as saying "we" and "our". ofc he's paying respect to his colleagues at large as well, but considering Press Con's criticisms are pointed most specifically and apply most to hawks and himself, he's strongly implying and acknowledging the pain that hawks has been through.

as he goes on to speak, the word choice shifts away from "us" and "we" to "me" as he claims responsibility for what happens next and urges peoples' slings and arrows to aim at him alone--again, for the sake of his colleagues and family at large, but particularly for hawks in this moment.

the undercurrents are so understated in this scene, but the degree to which endeavor shifts the language and focus away from hawks and onto himself is profound. throughout mha, we've got plenty of thought bubbles showing how hawks feels about endeavor in outright terms, but not as many from endeavor about hawks, especially after all their dirty laundry gets aired out. but even without thought bubbles, how he feels about hawks even at the worst of times becomes perfectly clear.

(god they drive me insane lmao)

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

of course it’s an alicent profile pic saying this shit:

the thing is, i would’ve agreed with the original sentiment of this post if it wasn’t for the tags, but then this person goes mask off and proves to me that they were only pretending to offer meaningful criticism.

cause all i see in these tags is buzzword 🗣️🗣️ buzzword 🗣️🗣️ buzzword 🗣️🗣️

i just wanna know, why are the targaryens always singled out as the house that ‘regularly cannibalizes its own?’

these don’t exist ig: the she-wolves of winterfell, the current lannisters, and literally every House ever.

why are the targaryens held to such an unfair standard? and why are they held responsible for the sins of their ancestors?

it is literally so funny. but like… in an astonishing kind of way.

in these tags there’s no objective language used 🙅‍♀️ no care for nuance 🙅‍♀️ and no meaningful interaction with the main themes of the series 🙅‍♀️

OP kind of tries to pretend, but it’s all surface level shit. it’s clear that they’re blinded by their hatred of the targs and dany.

because george never holds things his characters can’t control against them. what a character should be judged by is their actions, and imo, that’s what george writes about: how individual characters actions and choices can shape the world around them (bonus if the character is a cripple, bastard, or broken thing and is trying to protect others); and he also puts a lot of emphasis on a characters intentions and how they come to their decisions, which gets us his famous ‘human heart in conflict with itself’ thesis statement.

george, someone who’s interested in the choices of the individual and how they get there, clearly thinks it’s important to showcase how different characters handle great power, otherwise he wouldn’t have so many POV characters in positions of such great importance.

on that note, asoiaf isn’t an anti-monarchy piece. you could easily claim that it’s a criticism of systematic oppression, systematic violence, corrupt institutions, and unbalanced social structures; it’s a sort of think piece on how people in positions of power destroy the lives of the common in their petty fights of greed and ambition, all whilst ignoring the incoming humanity ending threat.

and through this thought process, you get the title of the first book: a game of thrones. the political shifts are a game for these powerful people, and this motif is one of the most important statements to understand in order to interact with the series discussion on what it means to be a good ruler. this motif also comes up in a conversation jorah and dany have about the smallfolk: “It is no matter to them if the high lords play their game of thrones, so long as they are left in peace. They never are.” it’s high lords, not royals. it’s a critique of the whole social structure and political system, not a criticism of one family.

so, if you’re of this belief that petty power disputes are dumb and are angry that most high lords don’t give a shit about their subjects, then you should love daenerys, who’s one of the few characters who’s using her power to make lasting societal change.

now, is she perfect? no. no she’s not. cause she’s a teenage girl trying to take down a slave trade that’s been around for thousands of years (hilarious that she’s actually fixing the mistakes of her ancestors…). but dany is learning and is doing her best to get better and is trying to empower the powerless. that sets her apart from almost every other ruler in asoiaf and makes her one of the most important POVs in this book series quest to find out what makes a good ruler. something something gods make kings and queens to protect those who can’t protect themselves…

with that in mind, i agree that the conclusion of the series won’t be a character sitting on a throne because of their blood or because of some divine right mumbo jumbo. imo, a character will only sit on a throne if they’ve been smart, gained allies, formed alliances, have control of an army, have gained loyalty from the people they wish to rule, have been honorable, maybe have a dragon or three, and are a hero.

dany has checked off almost all the boxes, so i think it’s safe to root for her. and considering the foreshadowing, i think it’s logical to guess that peace will be ushered in, even if it’s a hard won peace. and what’s wrong with believing that daenerys will be one of the ones who helps usher in this peace after all the work she’s done to protect those who don’t have the power to protect themselves?

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2024 Anime Overview: Train to the End of the World and Tonari no Yokai-san

Who knows if poor Whisper Me a Love Song (a cute yuri anime about a girl band... with dire animation conditions so it's currently stuck on episode 10 with the last two episodes delayed indefinitely) is ever going to finish, but here’s some my first post reviewing the rest of what I watched.

Delicious in Dungeon continued to kill it with the second half of the season, kicking into high gear and introducing cranky catgirls, but you can see my general thoughts on the show here.

Train to the End of the World

I love bizarre anime, especially bizarre anime starring loveable weird girls, and Train absolutely delivers.

 A teenage girl named Yoka is bullied by a slimy businessman into pushing a button that activates the 7G cellular network across Japan, but said network warps and changes Japan completely, having bizarre effects on the citizens. For example, all the adults in Yoka's hometown have been transformed into animals and are starting to act like animals.

Shizuru is Yoka's best friend, and she said some seriously nasty things to Yoka before her friend left town. Yoka's been missing ever since the 7G incident and Shizuru is desperate to find her and apologize. So when she sees a picture showing Yoka in Ikebukuro, she decides to drive a train to find her, and her friends Reimi, Akira, Nadeshiko, and also her dog come along. As they travel across the warped Japan, they face many weird encounters and obstacles.

Train to the End of the World is greatly entertaining, as we see the girls encounter nihiists with mushrooms growing out of their heads, screaming goatmen that ram into the train and even zombies on their journey. The dialogue is snappy, and the girls all have a fun personalities. As a lover of girls doing silly violence, I also adored how everyone besides Akira (who is the smart one) has ridiculous combat skills, with Shizuru having her own form of martial art, Reimi being physically unstoppable when she's mad, and Nadeshiko might come off as the ladylike bow and error wielder...but actually she also can beat the shit out of people with said bow as a blunt object. It's fun to watch them go wild.

An example of how ridiculous the show can get is the encounter with the zombies--the absolutely bizarre logic is that since zombies are supposed to be dead to all sensation, arousal will make them blow up. Instead of the girls acting sexy to arouse them like most anime would do, they just say dirty words, and Akira recites a whole paragraph from Lady Chatterley's Lover that she apparently memorized, and they sing a hilariously bawdy folk song. This episode DOES contain the show's biggest moment of sexualizing the teenage girls though- a hyper detailed panty shot that was super jarring considering the show avoided fanservice before then.

And the next episode had Nadeshiko forced to don a somewhat skimpy outfit. Those are the only two instances of fanservice, but that episode also had a joke where this character in this children's cartoon come to life's entire gimmick was that she was suicidal. It was probably meant to be "lol look how inappropriate this would be for children" but it still felt fairly mean spirited at times.

Despite those hiccups to watch out for, the anime works because it never forgets it's core theme or friendship--the relationships between the girls are developed at a good pace, and Shizuru's guilt over what she did to Yoka is explored well too. It's not just a ridiculous anime, it has a heart too. So if an anime where a girl punches a bear in the face and arms herself with vegetables appeals to you…check it out!

Tonari No Yokai-san

Tonari no Yokai-san takes place in a world where yokai have integrated into human society. The central characters are Buchio, a cat who became a nekomata after living to twenty, and Jiro, a crow tengu who is close friends with a little girl he calls Mu-chan.

This is a very sweet, gentle series that has some heartwrenching and dark undertones occasionally.  Mu’s father has been lost to an eerie void, and a lot of the stories focus on grief. The immediate comparison tone and content-wise is Natsume’s Book of Friends, but it distinguishes itself by presenting a world where yokai are very much part of society, to the point where they have to do paperwork  and pay taxes. (There was also a confirmation that one character is bisexual when his backstory involves dating a guy yokai, so that was nice, especially since he's currently in a relationship with a car yokai that's probably meant to be romantic? Yes I said car yokai it is his car.)

There’s also some sci-fi elements mixed in with alternate timelines and what not. I think these elements could be integrated more smoothly, but they are pretty novel. It’s a really solid series.

I do love stories about yokai and I thought it was enjoyable and touching, but it didn’t rock my world the way I wanted it to…it might be that it followed too many characters at once so I couldn’t dig into any of them the way I really wanted to. Still, it’s a sweet, tender and pleasant watch, I definitely rec it.

[antialiasis]

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: all of my thoughts (part 2)

Once again, this is me watching my way through The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) and commenting on everything that comes to mind as I go. Where we last left off in part 1, Blondie and Tuco had just each learned half of the secret to a the location of a cache of Confederate gold, forcing two men in a thoroughly adversarial relationship to collaborate. This time, we get to see the two of them begin to bond, in the most delightful, complicated, bonkers sort of way.

The checkpoint

Another Extended Cut scene. Sad Hill Media's blog post on the Extended Cut scenes suggests the only conceivable purpose of this scene is to establish Tuco wants to go to the San Antonio monastery and that it's entirely needless because we can just figure he knew it was nearby. I do think there's a little more to it than that: this checkpoint is presumably why Tuco and Blondie actually dress up in Confederate uniforms, which is otherwise a pretty random thing for them to do (and is an important plot point a couple scenes later); it's where Tuco presumably gets the idea of actually pretending to be Bill Carson (without this scene, he's just using Carson's eyepatch randomly when they get to the monastery for unclear reasons); and more specifically it establishes that Tuco knew the monastery existed but was kind of surprised to learn they were in the vicinity of it, which adds some context to why Tuco hasn't visited his brother before in those nine years -- he hasn't been in the area before, just vaguely knew of it being near Apache Canyon. But it is undeniably a very functional sort of scene with not a lot else going on, other than Tuco's amusing assertion that "If I were a Yankee you wouldn't have time to ask me that!" to a whole encampment of Confederate soldiers, as if he'd have just taken them all out single-handedly.

Speaking of dressing up in Confederate uniforms, either Blondie was conscious enough at some point to change into the uniform or Tuco dressed his unconscious self in it to sell that he's a dying soldier to these guys. I suspect the latter.

The monastery

Tuco asks for his brother right at the start, but unknown to Tuco he's already gone to visit their dying father. Big, painful dramatic irony there on a rewatch.

Once again, we have wounded soldiers, many with lost limbs, filling up the monastery -- and once again it is a mere backdrop to our protagonists.

Tuco of course acts like Blondie is a very dear friend, like a brother to him, specifically when the monks are within earshot and then immediately drops it when they aren't. What a guy.

(He asks frantically if Blondie has said anything -- mainly thinking of if he said anything about the name on the grave, of course, but also, Blondie could theoretically tell them any number of things about Tuco that might get him kicked out of there.)

Meanwhile, even though nobody's looking (he checks!), Tuco gets down on his knees to pray. Totally sincere in his religion, praying that God will let this man live so Tuco can have his $200,000. I love this fascinating plot-irrelevant character trait.

Once the priest has told him Blondie will recover, he's thinking for a bit about next steps before he goes into the room. Everything would be easiest if he could just get Blondie to tell him what the name on the grave was, and then he can just kill him, or at least ditch him -- he's not too keen on actually having to haul Blondie around to find the treasure, after all.

Tuco starts off by telling Blondie, "The old father tells me you'll be up and around in a few days!" and then this hilarious thing of "You were very lucky to have me so close when it happened!" Ah, yes, when "it happened", this mysterious thing that caused Blondie to nearly die in the desert, how lucky that Tuco just happened to be there. Clearly this is going to work on Blondie himself. (Maybe Tuco could be banking on the possibility Blondie might not have a clear memory of the whole thing, but honestly it's perfectly in character to do this nonsense either way, because Tuco is Tuco.)

He goes on with this approach about how they're all alone in the world and have only got each other, suggesting he doesn't have any family. This is of course a blatant lie, as we'll learn in a bit -- Tuco believes he still has both parents and a brother, even if he hasn't seen them in a long time -- but right now it seems convenient to pretend he has absolutely nothing and no one, in case it will help him earn Blondie's sympathy and trust, so all alone in the world it is.

But then he changes tack again! Come to think of it, maybe it'd be easier to convince him to tell if he thought he was dying. So nah, now he's sad, devastated, that Blondie's dying and it's all his fault. :'((( (He looks around first to make sure none of the monks are around to contradict this, but he already contradicted it when he himself told Blondie just earlier that he'd be up and around in a few days. Tuco just does not keep track of his lies, at all.)

Love the shot where he's looking through his fingers, trying to gauge if this is working at all, and then turns it into wiping the definitely real tears from his eyes. He's trying so hard.

In Blondie's place, he would tell about the gold! (He would not tell about the gold.)

If he gets his hands on the $200,000, he'll always honor Blondie's memory! (He will not.)

Oh, Tuco, totally buying it when Blondie beckons him closer only to get coffee in his face because of course. The combination of absolute unrepentant lying and swindling and naïveté is so endearing, in a terrible way.

Blondie is so smug about "I'll sleep better knowing my good friend is by my side to protect me" while Tuco is pointing a gun at him (upside-down) and it's great. Tuco having him at gunpoint is simply not a threat anymore, because Tuco now wants him to live more than anything! He will protect him! Just in his best interests that Blondie survives!

(And the funny thing is Blondie can probably entirely legitimately sleep a little better with someone else actively invested in his survival than he normally does as a lone wolf drifter, even though the guy actively invested in his survival now also happens to hate his guts. We see him later being a very light sleeper who keeps his hand on his gun, suggesting he's kind of used to expecting someone might attempt to kill him in his sleep; Tuco would never let anyone kill him in his sleep, not while he's the only one who knows the name on the grave.)

Notably, Blondie isn't angry in this scene, as much as he has every right to be when Tuco's being an absolutely shameless little shit about trying to manipulate him, after a lengthy bout of straight-up torture. Instead, Blondie seems more amused by his utter ridiculousness, now that Tuco is harmless and in fact warpedly helpful to him. He's enjoying every minute of the reversal of fortunes here, and in the process Tuco's Tuco-ness has just become kind of entertaining. This is an important little development for how their relationship evolves from here.

After the non-obvious timeskip, Tuco's fetching water for Blondie, grumbling all the while about if I get that name from you I'll give you water, and calls him a dirty skunk, kicking his foot -- notably, not keeping up the pretense of being his friend even a little bit unless the monks are around anymore. Presumably, in the time we skipped over, they've had some talks about how they'll proceed -- Blondie naturally not even considering telling Tuco the name but agreeing to accompany him so they can find the treasure together, Tuco reluctantly figuring yeah, fine, they'll do that, but he doesn't have to be happy about it. He feels free to be an ass to Blondie, even though he can't lose him, because Blondie also needs him to get the money, and at least to Tuco it's unthinkable he would just skip out on $200,000, so it probably has not crossed his mind at all that Blondie could just decide once again to ditch him if he got fed up with him.

Most of the analyses I've read on this movie emphasize that all three main characters are motivated by greed in their pursuit of the gold. But Blondie has never actually felt all that invested in the gold per se to me. Throughout the movie he's mostly being pulled along on this treasure quest by either Tuco or Angel Eyes; I don't think he ever even mentions the gold in any context that's not about how it's something the others desire, and he doesn't take much of any active action to facilitate finding it, other than being along for the ride as the quiet inevitable kingmaker. Instead, whenever it's actually Blondie's choices driving what's happening (which isn't too often, mind; he spends a lot of time quietly going along with the others and biding his time), his motivations are distinctly about something else, as far as I can tell. My overall read on him is that his chief priority is his own survival, and while the treasure hunt has his interest piqued it's almost more for the interesting puzzle of how he's going to come out on top at the end of this than out of desire for the money, though the money certainly doesn't hurt. I think I read something somewhere about the never-produced sequel proposal involving Blondie having given his share of the gold to the monastery, and honestly, I don't know if that's true or if I'm remembering right what I read, but that checks out to me.

At any rate, what I'm saying is I think Blondie is not so invested in the gold that he has to stick with Tuco for it, the way Tuco has to stick with Blondie; Blondie has all the leverage and is enjoying it, and he almost certainly did give some thought to whether he should just try to get out of there if he gets the chance. But ditching Tuco would inevitably mean Tuco just comes to track him back down again, even more fiercely, after already finding him once -- and Blondie is almost certainly already sketching out a plan for when they've reached the cemetery. Tuco is probably planning to try to kill him as soon as he shows him the grave, after all, and Blondie is going to have to make sure he's fully in control of the situation before he reveals anything. And then he's going to make Tuco put his head in a noose.

Tuco mentions the wounded are just pouring into the monastery so they'd better get the hell out of here -- that war sure is still intensifying in the background, and the main characters still want no part of it!

Blondie silently hands Tuco his still-lit cigar here just as Tuco's been insulting him; Tuco just drops it on the floor and steps on it, not keen on sharing. Again, we see how Blondie, when he has this leverage, is completely unruffled by Tuco's toothless hostility, and in fact is just having fun being friendly in an ironic sort of way in return, knowing this annoys Tuco. This is a very fun little contrast to a little later, when Blondie gives him a cigar with a more genuine sense of sympathy, and Tuco actually accepts it. I didn't actually even notice this bit for the longest time, but yes, good.

When Tuco learns Pablo is back, he just tells Blondie that This is something I have to look into, not wanting to tell him anything about his family -- though of course, it wouldn't be hard to guess that "Father Ramirez" is related to Tuco Ramirez. And while Blondie probably does muse on how he could just go out and grab the wagon that's already ready to go (though he would probably ultimately dismiss that either way as discussed above), he must be curious -- and also realize that understanding more about how Tuco ticks might be useful later.

This whole sequence is quite funny, showing off a lot of Tuco being Tuco, while we get a good look at the fundamentally changed dynamic between Tuco and Blondie now that Tuco needs Blondie alive. So far, it looks like Blondie having great fun rubbing in the leverage that he has, completely and unshakably confident that Tuco won't touch him now, while once Tuco understands he's not about to convince Blondie to give up the name, he's nakedly hostile -- but Blondie just finds his hostility amusing now that it doesn't actually represent a threat. We don't spend a whole lot of time on this stage of the dynamic, but it's still pretty important that this is where it has resolved to at this point.

Tuco and Pablo

Tuco is initially obviously wary and nervous about approaching Pablo but then puts on a cheerful smile before he says anything. He probably knows Pablo might not be super happy to see him, but he's going to live in his best world and doggedly pretend this is a normal cheerful family reunion.

Initially the smile falters when Pablo turns around without acknowledging him, but he forces it back up again. "Don't you recognize me? It's me, Tuco!" Surely it's just because he didn't recognize him with the eyepatch, right?

He goes in for a hug. Pablo folds his arms. Tuco decides this is totally just because maybe that's not appropriate with a monk - "I don't know the right thing!" he says before getting down on his knees and kissing the knot of his rope instead. It is Definitely Not that Pablo just does not want to hug him, nope.

Pablo's fed-up eyeroll on "I wonder if my brother remembers his brother" is very good. I can't believe these actors were each speaking a language the other didn't understand and just waiting for the other to pause to say their next line (Eli Wallach brings this up specifically as a really tough scene because of this). Talk about acting with a handicap. I take every hat off for how well they absolutely pulled it off -- this is honestly one of the best scenes in the movie.

"Did I do wrong?" he asks, like he's almost considering whether maybe Pablo thinks it was wrong of him to come here, but then nah, it doesn't matter! He's very happy!

"You have seen me, Tuco." Ouch. Implied, so goodbye. Tuco chooses not to take it that way!

All in all, Tuco's face for this whole thing is great, the genuine awkward reactions always dissolving into undaunted cheerful smiles as he keeps going, insistently trying to make this interaction normal. Eli Wallach is so good.

Pablo just stares him up and down after "I'm very glad I came!" "Oh, my uniform! It's a long story!" Yup, definitely just wondering about the uniform.

Tuco's trying so, so hard to bring back some long-lost brotherly dynamic that they used to have, sometime. "Let's talk about you, it's more important! You look well! A little thin, perhaps, but you were always thin, eh, Pablito?"

And then he asks about their parents. "Only now do you think of them." Pablo's so cold about it -- even though really Tuco hasn't mentioned them until now because he's been trying so hard to connect with Pablo! This is probably part of why Pablo's been so cold for this whole conversation; it's got to sting extra hard for him that Tuco's there playing up this cheerfulness when both their parents are now dead and he wasn't there.

Tuco is still trying hard to salvage this and be cheerful about it after Pablo tells him it's been nine years and it aches. Nine years! How time flies, ha-ha!

Instead Pablo tells him their mother's been dead for a long time, and also Tuco only just missed the death of his father, who had specifically asked for him. I'm pretty sure the implication is they've been at the monastery longer than the few days since his father's death, so theoretically he could probably have made it, if he'd known. Instead he's been here, grumbling about having to fetch things for Blondie. Oof.

Finally Tuco's resolve to be cheerful and normal about this is broken. I like how we don't really see him cry, just him turning away at the wall and the slight movement of his shoulder and tensing in his neck and the sound of his breathing. Any open display of emotion from Tuco would come across as pretty suspect, but it's precisely the fact he's hiding his reaction that drives home that it's 100% real.

When he finally turns away from the wall, it's to tell Pablo, voice cracking, that he didn't just have one wife, he had lots. He can find them wherever! He's doing great! (Normal people who are doing great definitely have lots of different wives they've run off from.)

He dares Pablo to preach him a sermon about it, but Pablo doesn't take the bait. Tuco wants to hear him do his usual thing of judging and condemning him so he can throw it back in his face right now.

Instead, Pablo goes, "The Lord have mercy on your soul," and Tuco responds that while he's waiting for the Lord to remember him he'll tell him something. Another great little bit that's effective because we've seen him being sincerely religious in his own Tuco sort of way, but of course really this extremely down-on-his-luck bandit feels pretty forgotten by God, even if he's only properly voicing it when he's just learned both his parents died in his absence.

In response to being judged and disdained for his (genuinely bad) choices all the time, Tuco has built up this whole defensive self-image of how really he took the harder path and Pablo's just a coward, and I love that a lot.

Pablo left to become a priest, while ten-or-twelve-year-old Tuco was left alone with his parents; the way he emphasizes that he stayed suggests that he felt he was there for them where Pablo had simply abandoned them. And yet, "I tried, but it was no good." The banditry probably originated out of desperation as a way to earn money to support his parents, or at least support himself without burdening them. And yet he ended up alienated from all of them as a result (of course he did, he's a wanted criminal). Oof.

Kind of fun how these two brothers hitting each other in the heat of the moment are actually possibly the most convincing physical strikes in the movie.

We only see Blondie watching now; we don't know exactly how long he was watching or how much he saw, whether he heard Tuco's whole backstory. But he definitely saw them come to blows, which is the really important bit about him watching.

The way Tuco helps Pablo up and then immediately turns away before Pablo can say anything more or make eye contact is a really good, painful acting choice.

Pablo saying his name, and Tuco stopping for a moment, starting to turn around, and then tossing his hand behind him and leaving anyway is also a really good, painful choice. They almost got to have what might have been a more reconciliatory conversation (Pablo says, "Please forgive me, brother," after he's gone), but Tuco was just expecting more judgement and hostility and decided not to bother.

This scene is so good. Tuco was already the most colorful character in this movie, but there's a huge amount of depth added via this conversation with Pablo -- not just some token effort in the form of the fact his parents are dead and he's sad about it, or the explicit exposition about him growing up in poverty and becoming a bandit because the only ways out were banditry or the priesthood, but all the little nuances and implications and Eli Wallach's performance of it all. Tuco's insistent way of looking for alternative explanations for Pablo's coldness at the start; his dogged, desperate efforts to lighten the mood; the particular genuineness of his reaction to the news about his parents and the way he then deflects all those feelings into anger at Pablo and at God; the painful, painful way that they part. It's such excellent character work, and it makes Tuco really, properly sympathetic, where he's been serving a pretty villainous role so far.

Nothing like a good cigar

Tuco silently joins Blondie on the wagon, obviously in a pretty sour mood, and Blondie doesn't say anything either as they set off. I expect at this point Blondie is fully intending to just not comment on what he saw. (Tuco, of course, doesn't realize he saw anything at all.)

But after a moment, Tuco decides to live in his best world. His brother is so great! He was just having soup with him! He never wants Tuco to leave when he visits! Earlier he expressly didn't want to let Blondie know he was going to see his brother, but now he says casually that oh yeah, his brother's the one in charge there, like he just sort of happened not to mention it before. His brother's very important and also crazy about him, and the great thing about having him is he'll always be there for him to give him a bowl of soup if he needs it. This is definitely what actually happened and not a bald-faced lie-slash-fantasy in which Tuco's fine and loved and appreciated and has a robust support network. (This lie, of course, very directly contradicts Tuco's previous lie to Blondie about how he's all alone in this world. He's so consistently shameless about not being remotely consistent with his own lies.)

(And, notably, the way Tuco's treating Blondie has abruptly shifted, too, even though no one's watching -- he's just having a casual chat, smiling, lightly bumping his shoulder at "Bring your friend, too!" Tuco is feeling shunned and rejected and needs a friend right now, and Blondie's the one guy he's got, who has been acting basically friendly to him, not returning his hostility -- so Tuco's just choosing to at least for a moment live in the world where yeah, sure, they're the best of friends and always have been.)

We may not know exactly how much Blondie heard, but he knows at minimum that actually they were not having soup, that Tuco's brother slapped him, and that he punched him in return. So he knows exactly how bullshit all of this is. And yet, he actually has a little smile at it and chooses not to contradict him, but instead to actively play along with the lie by telling him, "Well, after a meal, there's nothing like a good cigar." (There was no meal, after all, and Blondie knows it; he could have offered him a cigar without actively playing along with that bit, but he specifically chooses to do so.) In spite of all Tuco has done, Blondie hears his pathetic bullshitting about his brother and it actually endears him to him, makes him human.

It's very possible he heard more of Tuco's backstory, too, and perhaps developed some sympathy for him based on that, the way we have -- but the particular reaction he's having right now, the smile and the cigar, is a reaction to Tuco telling him this. It's such a blatant, pointless, specific lie, delivered with such a bizarre change of attitude, and all by itself it says so much about Tuco: that he craves positive relationships he doesn't have, that he was hurt enough by this encounter he doesn't want to admit or sit with how it really went, that he uses lying as a coping mechanism, that he lies to himself too, that ultimately he loves his brother and would rather talk him up and lie that they're tight than just complain about him, that he really needs a friend right now and Blondie is all he's got so he's just discarding the hostility to do this. It's pretty sad, and it really is very endearing. Look at this miserable little man and his pathetic, absurd ways of coping.

And the reason this works is Blondie was already honestly a little endeared to Tuco, in a strange way. Tuco had stopped representing a threat, and his Tuco-ness had become entertaining -- initially because Blondie was just having fun rubbing it in and watching him flail in his unique way. But it's not that far from there to seeing his humanity, and this bit of more obviously desperate Tuco-ness will do it. Tuco still tortured him, and Blondie has not and cannot forget that -- but alongside it he's starting to get him, a little bit, and it makes him sympathize with him.

(Blondie doesn't look at him while offering the cigar, though. Not getting too sentimental about it.)

Tuco looks at him for a long moment after taking the cigar, perhaps realizing Blondie might have seen or heard something (even Tuco suspects it's not that he just genuinely bought all that and wants to give him his cigar because it's good after a meal; this looks suspiciously like a gesture of sympathy). But then he just puts it in his mouth, and shares another brief look with Blondie, and then we can see this great progression on his face as he actively psyches himself up into one of his normal grins (love Eli Wallach so much, what a great actor who makes this film), just as we shift from the somber Father Ramirez music back to the upbeat main theme. Tuco is fine! Blondie is living in Tuco's best world where they're friends too! Everything is great!

This is another great, fascinating little character interaction. Tuco has a great need to create his own reality and act fine at all times (unless acting otherwise serves some other goal he has, of course), because actually his life kind of sucks, and lying and pretending, to himself and others, is just how he copes with everything. He didn't need to say anything to Blondie at all -- he didn't ask what Tuco was up to in there and wouldn't have asked -- but it just makes himself feel better about it to go rewrite reality into what he wants it to be and then affirm it by telling somebody else about it and acting like they're totally friends. And out of it comes this weirdly cute little bonding moment where Blondie's beginning to understand Tuco, and feel kind of sorry for him, despite everything. I love them.

The map

One more brief Italian/Extended Cut bit. Tuco's reading the map, looking at where they're going; Blondie asks about where they're headed, and Tuco catches himself and tells him he'll tell him when they get there. Dead soldiers are lying around; Blondie notes they're not worried about anything anymore and asks again about where they're going because they might get caught up in the war as they go on. Tuco, defensive, says they're going towards $200,000.

This mostly serves as the first ambiguous sign that Blondie has some sympathy for the dying soldiers, even though he's mentioning them briefly in the service of making a different point, while showing Tuco's still wary of telling Blondie anything that would render him unnecessary, afraid that then Blondie would just kill or ditch him and go for the gold himself. It's not a very important moment and the film wouldn't lose much without it, though I don't think I agree with the idea that Blondie's expressed sympathy for the soldiers here is too much for where we're at -- it's not exactly an outpouring of sentiment, just an observation about why the situation is dangerous that happens to involve him noticing the dead soldiers, and it certainly worked as a part of his character progression for me, though I also think it would work without it, with the prison camp being the first thing to spark his sympathy.

The one thing Blondie does do in the movie that sort of seems like he's invested in claiming the gold for himself is these intermittent moments where he asks Tuco about where they're going. But I'm not sure that's actually what's going on in these moments either. They're very casual and understated and, especially as the movie goes on, grow to feel more like he's trying to catch him out for his own amusement than any serious hope that it will work. And in the end, when Tuco does tell him the name of the cemetery, Blondie then does not in fact ditch or kill him to get the gold first, even though he easily could have. So all in all, it doesn't actually sound like he really hoped to learn the name of the cemetery so he could go find the gold himself without Tuco, even though Tuco obviously fears that.

So I think his stated reason for asking at this point is basically genuine. He's agreed to accompany Tuco, but they could be about to get themselves into danger, and it really might be less dangerous if they both know where they're headed. It's very understandable why Tuco won't, though -- Blondie's not telling Tuco anything for the same reason, after all -- so ultimately he can't insist too hard.

How do you do fellow Confederates

When Tuco spots troops he wakes up Blondie and is preparing to just take off his uniform immediately -- it's Blondie who asks if they're blue or gray (Tuco looks at his own uniform for a moment like he needs to double-check which arbitrary uniforms they have again before he looks off at the soldiers, enjoy that), and that's when Tuco figures well, okay, they're gray so I guess we don't need to. In other words, this is actually Blondie's fault, inadvertently; Tuco by default would have played it safe and gone with being civilians. (Though obviously Tuco's ridiculous over-the-top yelling did not help.)

"God's not on our side, 'cause he hates idiots also." Blondie is calling them collectively idiots. Blondie is a very smart guy but I enjoy how willing he is to include himself in that.

All in all, this silly scene is great because it's hilarious, but also just very fun about how utterly arbitrary the Civil War is to the main characters. It's just blue versus gray, yell out support for whichever color they're looking at while unclear on what the generals' names even are, whatever. Tuco obviously doesn't really know or care what the whole thing is about at all. Blondie is probably a little more familiar -- at least he knows what the generals are called -- but still only really invested in keeping himself out of it.

Of course, they sure do get caught up in it anyway. Off to prison camp!

Batterville

Time for the war to start to get a lot more prominent!

The wide shot of the camp as they're marched in shows gallows in the background, just where the framing draws the eye, with a man still hanging from a noose. We don't see any executions happening at the camp but we're sure incidentally shown that those also happen.

Love that moment of Wallace reading out "Bill Carson" and Angel Eyes turning around to reveal his face. We had no idea he'd be here, but the moment he shows up, it's what we've been waiting for all this time, and then he goes on to deliver by being magnificently striking in the whole camp sequence. Angel Eyes is somewhat underused in the movie overall, in terms of screentime and development, but half of the bits he does feature in just go so hard.

Kind of insane that he's a Union sergeant now; presumably he got promoted quickly for being amazingly competent, I guess (and I suppose once again it's very hard to actually get a grasp on the timespans involved).

Tuco, again, clearly has a bit of ambiguous history with Angel Eyes, compared to how Blondie and Angel Eyes are only really indicated to know of each other. I kind of enjoy that the movie doesn't get into exactly how any of these guys know each other at all and just leaves it up to implication and the viewer's imagination.

Tuco doesn't seem to have noticed and pointed out Angel Eyes until after he's turned around, so they probably have no reason to think Angel Eyes knows anything about Bill Carson. So when Blondie then suggests Tuco be Bill Carson, I think what he's thinking is that the guards are trying to identify who the prisoners are for purposes of arranging prisoner exchanges later, and that their best shot at getting out of here is to be identified as actual soldiers that might be exchanged -- obviously the Confederacy is hardly going to actually choose to exchange prisoners for people who were not actually soldiers. Bill Carson is the one name they know that's definitely not going to turn out to be somebody else present (and Tuco's already wearing his eyepatch while Blondie could never pass for him if there were any kind of physical description involved), so Tuco had better pretend to be him, and Blondie will cross his fingers for a different name coming up on the manifest later that no one else responds to that he can assume.

The other possibility for what's going on here, though, is that they do catch Angel Eyes reacting to Bill Carson specifically, and Blondie is gambling that Angel Eyes taking an interest could be a ticket out of here for both of them. That's a very interesting possibility, but I can't get it to make quite as much sense -- surely, if Blondie knows anything about Angel Eyes, he would probably know that being somebody Angel Eyes is looking for is probably a bad thing, and if he and Tuco know each other, then Angel Eyes presumably knows Tuco is not actually the Bill Carson he's looking for, so pretending to be Bill Carson doesn't seem like a super productive idea in that case. I can still see it being the intended reading, though -- notably, Blondie doesn't actually suggest Tuco be Bill Carson until after Tuco points out Angel Eyes even though Wallace had read out the name several times, which is the main evidence in favor of this, but that could also just be due to taking a moment to think and evaluate.

Either way, we cut briefly to Angel Eyes smirking at Wallace punching Tuco in the stomach for not saying "Present." Whatever sympathy he might have had for the soldiers back at the fort, it definitely does not extend to Tuco even a little bit. I think their ambiguous history might have something to do with that smirk.

On the other hand, he does then tell Wallace that that's enough when he's getting ready to beat on Tuco some more; probably he wants to save it for the actual interrogation. Angel Eyes enjoys violence but only really employs it in the service of his agenda, rather than pointlessly for the hell of it, as the plainly sadistic Wallace does.

(Blondie looks rankled at Wallace's abusiveness, and smiles a little as Tuco fires back at him.)

Tuco sounding earnestly excited about Angel Eyes saying they should get "good treatment" is painful. Blondie is decidedly less excited about it, and when Tuco sees that his expression changes as well -- enjoy him taking that cue from Blondie.

Angel Eyes justifies his treatment of the prisoners to the commandant first by saying there are too many prisoners and he needs to have respect and then by saying well, our men aren't treated well at Andersonville camp. I doubt either of these things actually has much to do with it; really he's probably torturing prisoners mostly because he wants info on Bill Carson and the treasure, and is obviously robbing them simply for monetary gain, but to his superiors he'll coolly rationalize all this with something that sounds less self-serving. I went down a bit of a Wikipedia rabbit hole about Civil War prison camps, and it sounds like "Confederate prison camps keep prisoners in terrible conditions, so we should be equally cruel" was genuinely an argument used to push for abusive treatment of PoWs in the North.

The poor gangrenous Union commandant is such a good, decent guy, bless him -- "I don't give a God damn what they do in Andersonville." Most genuinely moral person in the movie, probably. Unfortunately, though, although he is nominally in a position of power, he's basically confined to his room, and all he can really do about the malicious takeover of the camp by Angel Eyes and his abusive cronies is giving him stern talks that he blithely ignores.

When he says the prisoners are not to be tortured or cheated or murdered, Angel Eyes just says, "That an accusation?" Obviously he's been doing all that, but he knows the commandant can't prove it. Technically he just takes prisoners into his cabin while the band plays some lovely music! Maybe the injuries they walk out with are because they just happened to have a fall.

"But as long as I'm the commandant I won't permit any such trickery. Am I clear?" "Yes, sir. Just as long as you're the commandant." A lot of people seem to interpret this as Angel Eyes planning to kill him, but the way I read it is that he's making an oblique reference to how the commandant is not really commanding anything at this point; Angel Eyes is already, for all intents and purposes, running things. He doesn't need to kill him. I think that aligns with the fact we then see Angel Eyes just wish him luck on proving his abuses (God, he's such a smug bastard), leave, and then tell his men to lay low for a few days -- just don't give the commandant the chance to find the evidence he's hoping for, the gangrene will take him eventually anyway, and then probably Angel Eyes might get to officially take over after him, without all the potential complications of actually murdering him.

Angel Eyes truly marks his return to the story in style. Him being effectively in charge of the camp, and thus having absolute power over our now-imprisoned protagonists, while Tuco's blissfully impersonating the very man Angel Eyes has been after, is just such a delicious, exhilarating development and creates an enormous amount of dread and tension for this whole sequence.

Tuco's interrogation

Tuco's clearly nervous being brought in to Angel Eyes' cabin. Then Angel Eyes is being friendly, just offers him food -- so he excitedly sits down and brings a spoonful to his mouth, only to stop, suddenly worried that it's poisoned. So Angel Eyes spoons some off his plate and eats it himself, and Tuco smiles and laughs, going, "I knew it! I knew it!" We may never learn exactly in what capacity the two of them knew each other, but this progression tells a lot, delightfully: Tuco thinks Angel Eyes is somebody who might poison his food, but also goes "I knew it!" when he's shown he didn't, as if he'd never had any doubts. Odds are Tuco does have good reason to be distrustful of Angel Eyes, but once again he likes to live in his best world where people actually like him, so if Angel Eyes is acting friendly, and hasn't poisoned his food, then sure, Tuco will act as if they are the best of friends and he trusted him completely all along. Enjoy this being established implicitly via Tuco's reactions, without having to exposit anything.

The minute he saw him, he said to himself that Angel Eyes never forgets a friend! (He plainly did not say this to himself the minute he saw him.)

"It's good to see old friends again. Especially when they've come from so far away and have so much to talk about. And you do have a lot to talk about, haven't you?" I love the way Angel Eyes does these pre-interrogations, so surface-level friendly yet distinctly threatening. Tuco has a lot to talk about, doesn't he? If he talks enough, Angel Eyes might even not torture him. (But he'd probably still send him to be executed. No reason not to claim that $3000 bounty!)

Tuco smiles and chuckles about how hard it was crossing the desert, especially with nothing to drink. It sure was a hard time for somebody but it wasn't you, Tuco.

Tuco deflects the question about why he's using the name Bill Carson into simply a general rule of not using your own name, which is funny when Tuco is the one main character here who does explicitly go by his actual legal name and also routinely refers to himself in third person.

Enjoy Angel Eyes clapping his back just a bit too hard, as the tiniest taste of what is to come. At this point Tuco's definitely starting to have some creeping doubts about where this is going; we see his eyes flick to the side at it.

Tuco's eyes also shift distinctly back and forth after saying music's very good for the digestion. Definitely catching on that Angel Eyes is driving at something very different and trying to work out what, for all that he answers in a friendly and cheerful way. (Tuco started to question this a little bit when Angel Eyes asked why he's using the name Bill Carson, then a bit more so at the back-clap, then this.)

Once again, once Tuco starts actively refusing to answer Angel Eyes' questions, that's when he casually shifts into torture-mode, stands up to signal for the music to start, and then offers him tobacco only to clamp down on his fingers. The very smooth shift, without much of a real change in demeanor, is part of what makes Angel Eyes so striking as a villain. What a memorably fucked-up guy.

Tuco tries admirably to fight back against Wallace at the start, even with the disadvantage of being handcuffed to a chair the whole time. When Blondie was being tortured he was very calculated about quietly going along and taking it until he believed he had an opportunity; Tuco being tortured is so much messier, full of screaming and struggling, though as it goes on he becomes less able to fight back.

I love the buildup of this scene: the timing of the music swelling before Tuco's first scream; the way you gather the music is to drown out the noise, but the distraught looks of the musicians gain new meaning when the old man tells Blondie how so many of them have had a session in there; the violin player on the verge of tears suddenly cutting out and looking away and being snapped at to continue; all intercut with the movie's bloodiest scene. And, of course, the dissonance of the song they're singing itself, which sounds almost like a lullaby (only if you actually read the mostly-unintelligible lyrics, it's actually about war and all the pointless death involved: Loud roar the cannons till ruin remains / Blue grass and cotton burnt and forgotten / All hope seems gone, so soldier, march on to die; There in the distance a flag I can see / Scorched and in ribbons, but whose can it be? / How ends the story, whose is the glory? / Ask if we dare our comrades out there who sleep). This whole scene is so striking and so good; lots of movies have torture scenes, but the way the band is used makes this one so much more memorable.

(Blondie is silent as ever, but doesn't seem super comfortable there lined up on the other side of the walls staring over towards the cabins, gathering Tuco is probably being tortured in there, that other prisoners already have been, that he might be next.)

Angel Eyes smiling and leaning in as Wallace puts his thumbs on Tuco's eyes is such a touch of sadistic bastardry. (Interestingly, this footage is apparently not in the Italian version, and we instead cut back to Tuco there and actually watch him with Wallace's thumbs on his eyes screaming that he'll talk -- it was reedited to be slightly less violent for the international market, and the Extended Cut kept the international theatrical version of this scene because the only available Italian prints had weird abrupt cuts in the music that presumably resulted from the original version of the scene there getting cut down post-music placement. I do always enjoy more torture, and it's a shame they felt the need to censor it, but I think this shot of how much Angel Eyes is enjoying this is actually very good and effective.)

The two instances of Angel Eyes torturing people for information (first Maria and now Tuco) both end with them giving truthful information, though in neither case is it obviously a violation of the character's deeply held principles or anything (we don't really know much about Maria or her relationship with Bill, but as much as Tuco wants the money, he has every legitimate reason to be more invested in keeping his eyeballs). On the other hand, in order to facilitate this, Angel Eyes kind of just magically knows exactly when they've told all they know and their "I don't know" has become genuine (we can see on his face that he can tell immediately that Tuco means it this time). In real life, torturers generally have no actual idea when their victims are lying even if they think they do, which is one of the several reasons torture is a terrible way to obtain information. But I suppose I will file this with other instances of Angel Eyes being implausibly competent to make him scarier.

Tuco keeps muttering Blondie's name in a bit of a choked-up way after giving him up, which gives the sense that he feels a bit guilty at this point for condemning Blondie to what he assumes is the same fate -- though he's not going to show it later, of course, filing it away where he probably locks all other times he might have felt kind of bad for a thing.

All in all, what a good, brutal, memorable torture scene, A+. The whump as whump is one thing and not necessarily my favorite whump ever or anything (many of the strikes here don't look super convincing, for instance), but as a scene it's just such effective filmmaking, and the particular bloody brutality of it compared to all the sanitized gunshots we've had is such a stark and evocative contrast.

The war is over for you

I love the cut to Blondie being shoved in there just after Tuco has given him up (though alas, he will not be tortured this time), and then the bundle of clothes getting thrown at him from offscreen. The old prisoner told Blondie what goes on in the shack, so as he was sent in there he was fully expecting to be about to get beaten bloody for several minutes. Instead he's… being told to put on some clothes? Huh.

Blondie is amused when Angel Eyes announces he knows the name of the cemetery now and Blondie knows the name of the grave. Here we go again! I think initially he assumes maybe Tuco had just freely told him after all, looped him in on the treasure in exchange for letting them go. After all, Angel Eyes does not seem inclined to torture him at all, they couldn't hear much of anything over the band, and it gets implied later that at some point Tuco told Blondie he and Angel Eyes were old friends, which Blondie obviously would not have put any stock in initially but might seem to check out now…

…But then, as he's taken his hat off, getting ready to just shrug and comply, he eyes the blood on the floor, verifies with his foot that it's still fresh. An uncomfortable confirmation that no, Tuco did not in fact just casually spill the beans.

He asks, "You're not gonna give me the same treatment?", because that seems genuinely odd. If Angel Eyes did get the cemetery out of Tuco by force, why isn't he trying to get the grave out of Blondie? But he's noticeably feeling a bit for Tuco and what he implicitly suffered here; the lingering on the blood on the floor and his expression are pretty telling.

Angel Eyes notes that he figured Blondie wouldn't talk, not because he's tougher than Tuco but because he's smart enough to know that talking won't save him. Very true -- Blondie's calculated enough to figure once he gives up the information he's given up his only leverage, and by that point Angel Eyes would have zero reason to keep him alive anyway. Tuco, though, isn't quite as stupid as Angel Eyes thinks -- he does in fact end up both living and keeping his eyes, simply because talking when he did ultimately paid off by buying him time and opportunity to get free and kill Wallace later (though at the ostensible cost of giving up the money and probably getting Blondie tortured too, of course). Tuco couldn't have known that was likely to work out for him, but while he's there in agony and Wallace is threatening to put his eyes out, he'll take that chance, play it by ear and see what happens. That's not really how Blondie operates: he figures the information is the one thing what makes him valuable and if he wants to survive he needs to safeguard it at absolutely any cost. Angel Eyes understands that, and so he doesn't bother with trying to beat it out of him and just skips straight to the taking him along -- once again, his violence is in the service of his agenda, so if it wouldn't accomplish anything, why try?

(Of course, Blondie being smart enough to know talking won't save him is also why Blondie's smart enough not to lead them to the correct grave later. Foreshadowing!)

Blondie asks if Tuco's dead, hesitant, stopping before the last word. Perhaps this is the moment he realizes he actually hopes he's not.

Angel Eyes is in friendly mode with Blondie. It'll be easier with two of them! Even gives him back his gun -- Angel Eyes presumably figures he's not in danger from Blondie because, with Tuco gone, Blondie needs Angel Eyes to get the money, and obviously he wouldn't just squander that opportunity for no reason, right? Even so, when Blondie unholsters his gun, Angel Eyes slows down as he's putting on his jacket, watching him, probably prepared to react if Blondie were to point it anywhere unexpected.

But he doesn't, of course. Blondie is always one to wait for the best possible chance; if he were to shoot Angel Eyes in the middle of the prison camp he runs, it'd just alert the guards and get him killed. And of course, usually he wouldn't do it until such a time as Angel Eyes is getting ready to shoot him.

(Angel Eyes insists he's not greedy and only taking half, as an incentive for Blondie to actually come along and guide him to the correct grave, but once they do get to the grave, he of course just pulls a gun on Blondie -- he never actually intended to keep that promise.)

When someone at the train station (another injured soldier, missing an arm) asks where Wallace is taking Tuco, and Wallace says to Hell with a rope around his neck and a price on his head, Tuco adds, "Yeah. $3000, friend! That's a lot of money for a head. I bet they didn't even pay you a penny for your arm." It's extremely Tuco that as he's being taken to be hanged, with no Blondie to shoot him down, he's choosing to live in the world where this just makes him impressive and important.

Man, Wallace is so pointlessly violent with Tuco even when he's not even being ordered to torture him specifically. Very understandable how much utter loathing Tuco has for him in particular.

Wallace calls Tuco lucky compared to the Confederate spy who has been tied to the front of a train, because at least he's going to go relatively quickly. Jeez. Striking background elements.

Wallace also makes a quip about how there isn't any partner this time to shoot Tuco down -- he must've heard about the con he ran with Blondie from Angel Eyes, who witnessed them doing it together that one time during the second hanging.

All in all, we've just had yet another shift in the situation! Angel Eyes is now taking Blondie along with him towards the cemetery, while Tuco has been sent off to be executed. We've still got two guys who each know half of the secret -- but at this point, we're all rooting for Tuco to escape, aren't we. We've also got some very important signals here about Blondie's growing empathy for Tuco: the lingering look at the blood on the floor, how he hesitates asking if Tuco's dead. One way or another, he's grown to care for the guy, in spite of everything.

The perfect number

Blondie sleeps with his hand by his pistol, of course he does.

We see his eyes flick open briefly at the sound of footsteps, then he closes them again, and then a few seconds later after the camera has panned back to his hand, when the footsteps have already gone quiet, he suddenly grabs the gun and shoots. This suggests he wakes up at the noise but only decides to fire a bit later, after pretending he's still asleep for a bit. Initially I took it he'd just shot basically on reflex after hearing something in his sleep and then put together that it's someone Angel Eyes instructed to follow them, but on a closer look it doesn't actually look like that's what's going on. Instead, presumably Angel Eyes had told his guys to stay hidden, and this guy only stepped out into the open because Blondie was asleep -- only Blondie is a light sleeper, noticed, took a moment to think, and then decided to go for it.

I think his thought process must be essentially this: first he deduces this guy must be working for Angel Eyes -- either recognizing him from Batterville or just noting that he seems totally unsurprised to see him and Angel Eyes sleeping there. And while traveling to the cemetery along with one guy gives Blondie a pretty good chance of making it out of this alive, Angel Eyes having hidden cronies following them in the shadows is plainly designed to stack the deck hopelessly against him. Blondie is never going to survive this if there's going to be a hidden assassin or more lying in wait (obviously he's not buying that Angel Eyes is doing this just to fairly split the gold with Blondie and then let him go). So he makes a snap judgement to take down at least this one and call Angel Eyes out, knowing once again that because he knows the grave he's too valuable to kill right now.

(This is definitely the most unprompted murder Blondie does in the movie, though -- this guy definitely wasn't drawing his gun, just existing as a future threat to Blondie. RIP.)

Either way, "If your friends stay out in the damp, they're liable to catch a cold, aren't they? …Or a bullet," is a fun one-liner. Blondie shooting them is just something unfortunate that might happen, the way catching a cold happens. (But really, he's warning Angel Eyes that he's on to him with the hidden assassins and he will shoot if he catches any more sneaking around.)

Angel Eyes just looks amused and impressed that Blondie just killed one of his men. Normal reactions that normal people have.

Presumably Angel Eyes tells his men to come out because Blondie just threatened to kill them if they stay hidden, hoping to pacify him. But Blondie still has his leverage, so he just as good as announces airily that he's still planning to kill them all. Angel Eyes may laugh, and be willing to call his bluff as far as his own self is concerned due to the Blondie also can't get the money without him thing, but his poor lackeys must be sweating -- Blondie is running around with a gun, he's just promised to kill them all, and Angel Eyes almost certainly wants the money, and thus Blondie alive, more than he cares about the lives of any of them.

I guess the lackeys aren't too keen on their prospects if they were to attempt to disarm Blondie right now, and if anyone actually dared to shoot him before Angel Eyes' say-so, they could expect his wrath. It's sort of surprising none of them attempt to just get the hell out of there at this point, though -- everyone just shrugging after this while Blondie is there with his gun and a designated bullet for each of them sure is something.

Blondie may in fact have been going for trying to scare off the lackeys. He does not actually think he has much of a chance alone against six men -- hence why he doesn't in fact make a move until he manages to team back up with Tuco later.

He does also say, "Since we're all going in the same direction, might as well go together," which vaguely suggests he's not planning to murder them all right now or anything -- which gives them a bit of time to desert Angel Eyes, if they're going to.

Sometimes the phrasing of lines in the English dub is kind of funny or off, and I just write it off because it's a live-action dub trying its best to vaguely match the lip flaps (sometimes pretty successfully, sometimes a lot less so). But Blondie explicitly spelling out that six is the perfect number because it's the number of bullets in his gun is one instance where I feel like the writing itself is legitimately just kind of clunky in a distracting way. The line about six being the perfect number is good and fun, if the audience is trusted to infer what he means; the spelling-out is unnecessary and exacerbates the sense that Angel Eyes and his men are kind of idiot balling here (you mean to tell me that Angel Eyes, the picture of hypercompetence and master of threatening insinuations, heard him go, "Six. Perfect number :)))", just after shooting one guy and then reloading his revolver with another bullet, and couldn't tell what he meant?).

(Also, why does Blondie say he has six more bullets in his gun. That would imply it's six in addition to the one he's just fired, but no, the one he fired left him with five and that's why he just had to replace that one. Surely the sensible line would be to just say he has six bullets in his gun, no more.)

Incidentally, six really is what is called a perfect number in mathematics (it equals the sum of its integer divisors). Obviously this is not what either Blondie or Angel Eyes is talking about. It might have made at least somewhat more sense if Angel Eyes had said something about the actual concept called a perfect number of which six is genuinely an example (it would still be implying Angel Eyes is somehow enough of a nerd about math, and thinks Blondie is enough of a nerd about math, to think of that first, but at least it would be an explanation for him taking it to be anything other than a reference to the number of bullets in a revolver), but no, saying three is the perfect number rules out that Angel Eyes knows about perfect numbers, because three is not a perfect number. Terrible.

All in all, "Isn't three the perfect number?" "Yeah. But I got six more bullets in my gun," is definitively by far the worst bit of dialogue in this movie on several different levels, thank you for coming to my TED talk.

This one's another Italian/Extended Cut scene, and while it has a couple of fun lines, and fun implications about Blondie's normal paranoid existence, I think it kind of raises more questions than it answers. I suppose the reason it's there originally is that without it, Angel Eyes explicitly says to Blondie that there's going to be two of them at Batterville only to have five additional guys there next time we see them with no comment; we can pretty easily infer that these are the same crooks he was working with for the smuggling operation at the camp either way (that bit isn't even mentioned in this scene anyway!), but the explicit presentation of it initially as a two-person operation becomes a little strange if a bunch more people then appear for it with no explanation at all. That's a valid concern, I suppose, but meanwhile this scene has that straight-up bad bit of dialogue, and while its implications for the metaphorical chess match between Blondie and Angel Eyes and his men are interesting (I kind of enjoy how confidently both Blondie and Angel Eyes call each other's bluffs here), they're a little nuts, and the movie is probably more coherent if we skip this scene and are left to assume Blondie's simply biding his time and Angel Eyes and his men fully assumed he was willingly cooperating and on board with accompanying them all to the cemetery, even if Blondie's initial reaction to Angel Eyes going, "Oh, by the way, these five guys are coming along too," somewhere offscreen is left to the imagination.

Tuco escapes

This is another bit of Tuco being very resourceful and thinking on his feet. Originally he was trying to reach for the gun in Wallace's holster, but when Wallace catches him he immediately comes up with wanting to take a leak. Gun doesn't work to shoot the chain? Try using it as a hammer, and then a different rock, and then try using a train as a bolt cutter, and then jump onto the train while he's at it.

Wallace already looks unconscious by the time they've rolled down the hill away from the train -- Tuco's just making sure he's very, very dead. The smashing his head into a visibly pointed rock several times is very brutal and also kind of drives home all that Wallace has done to him, which is clearly fueling Tuco in his fervor here.

I enjoy that Tuco briefly looks at the blood on his hand after doing it and then just dries it in the sand. I wonder if he's killed anyone quite so directly with his own two hands before. Either way, though, he is not one to linger on it.

"You made a lot of noise, my friend, huh?" he says, calling back to his little seething remark from the first scene where Wallace beat on him about liking how big, fat men like him make more noise when they fall and sometimes they never stand up -- another little bit tying it more directly back to Wallace's abuse.

I enjoy how Tuco is tangibly pretty scared to be up there so close to the moving train, but he sure is still doing it.

Most brutal fate in this movie is definitely Wallace. Pulled out of a moving train, head bashed several times into a pointy rock, then laid down on a train track where he gets dragged along the track for a bit. Eeesh. Certainly a very conscious choice that he's the most violently sadistic character here; Angel Eyes, again, may be an evil bastard, but all of his violence is serving some purpose for him, whereas Wallace has constantly been pointlessly violent just to be cruel.

The ghost town

This movie being very striking even in an incidental scene: the guy made to carry his own coffin to his execution. His crime is explicitly, according to the sign he's also been made to carry, just that he's a thief. What a horrid, awful little background event.

(In this movie, there are six different scenes involving executions or something resembling them in some form, legal or extrajudicial: Tuco's two hangings, Tuco trying to hang Blondie, Shorty's hanging, this guy being executed by firing squad, and Blondie hanging Tuco at the end. In addition to all this, there's how Tuco is going to be hanged when he escapes, and then there's the background gallows at the prison camp. As someone with a thing for executions in fiction, I am truly, shamelessly feasting here. There are many, many other reasons I enjoy this movie, 30k+ words' worth as I am currently demonstrating, but "several hangings and a firing squad" definitely does not hurt.)

Tuco has new clothes here, so clearly we've had some time in between where he managed to get new ones -- he didn't just step off that train he caught or anything. Very reasonably, I assume he ditched the Confederate uniform as soon as possible after what that got them into.

Man, this town really is shot to hell and back. Very tangible sense of how the war has just utterly destroyed it. And yet, once again it's not the main characters' biggest concern, really. It's just a place they're passing through.

Tuco, choosing to just casually use someone else's abandoned bathwater and pour the entire contents of several jars of different bath salts into it. Likewise with the multiple times he licks soap. What a madman.

I love that the purpose of the one-armed bounty hunter is just to be somebody for Tuco to shoot in this town so that Blondie can recognize the sound of his gun and come find him. That's literally all this means for the plot, but they just make a hilarious little sequence and continuity gag out of it, with Tuco being his delightful self with the "When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk!" line, and that's an iconic choice.

(Tuco, as ever, applies pretty different standards to himself -- he sure could've just shot Blondie on multiple occasions if he really wanted to, but first wanted elaborate revenge, then hesitated, took the time to say goodbye, and then ultimately got interupted. But it's all very personal with Blondie. Random bounty hunter #3? He's just shooting. Bet it was very personal on random bounty hunter #3's end too, though.)

Likewise, Blondie has befriended a tiny stray kitten, who probably just happened to wander into his hat, and calls the kitten 'large one'. It's adorable, and instantly makes Blondie 500% more charming, and also its actual purpose is that there is no way Blondie would explain out loud for the benefit of the audience here why he's standing up to find Tuco unless he had someone to say it to who isn't Angel Eyes' men. Solution? He says it to a random kitten who's there now. A completely shameless approach that totally serves its purpose and adds to the characterization in the process: like Tuco's religiosity, it doesn't mean anything for the plot per se that Blondie is somebody who would see a stray kitten climbing into his hat, gently lift it and pet the kitten and address it by a cute ironic moniker and tell it what he's thinking, but it just adds a little bit of charming extra dimension to him. (And it reinforces the capacity for empathy that he has but has been very quiet about showing so far.)

(Incidentally, even though he was genuinely speaking English on set, you can tell Clint Eastwood's lips aren't totally in sync here, and I gather the Italian line here is just something closer to, "Every gun makes its own sound, and I recognize that one." Is "large one" a product of Mickey Knox doing a rewrite but trying to match it to the lip flaps of a line that originally ended in "that one"? If so, truly the best dubbing choice of all time. The kitten is already adorable, but Blondie calling them large one, my heart.)

That's not to say they couldn't possibly have conveyed that point in a different way, mind. We could see Blondie look up silently and walk away and then tell Tuco when he shows up that he followed the sound of his gun (definitely wouldn't be unreasonable or out of character for Tuco to ask about that). It would have been a little awkward, though, since the actual trigger for him silently getting up would have been taking place a little before the cut to him doing so (and we can't cut straight after the gunshots, because then we would lose "When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk!", which we definitely cannot). Instead, kitten. Excellent.

(On the other hand, I am very sad for this stray kitten wandering around a ghost town as all the people are leaving. Noooooo please tell me Large One is okay)

(If Tuco has the same gun as before, that must mean Wallace had and was carrying Tuco's gun, and then he took it with him before catching the train, after initially throwing it away in frustration? I don't know guns well enough to tell if it's genuinely all the same gun.)

Angel Eyes sending only one guy after Blondie really makes considerably less sense with Blondie having explicitly threatened to kill all of them in the perfect number scene, doesn't it. Without that scene, it checks out that Angel Eyes wants to keep an eye on Blondie but doesn't immediately have any particular reason to think he's about to betray them or liable to attack anyone; with it, it's a wonder Clem doesn't protest.

RIP Clem. Blondie may jump him when he turns a corner, but even he has his hand on his gun before Blondie actually shoots him, though he freezes and stops drawing it before Blondie actually shoots. (Would he have even gone on to actually shoot Blondie if he'd gotten the chance? Well, Angel Eyes still wants him alive… but perhaps Clem might have tried to shoot him somewhere debilitating but not fatal, which is a thing that generally never happens onscreen in this movie but is clearly something that hypothetically can happen, what with all the injured soldiers with lost limbs.)

Things were once again looking pretty bleak for Blondie here. It was always extremely unlikely he could take out six men on his own, even if he did threaten to do so. He could create an opportunity with Clem, because Angel Eyes sent one guy after him, but it's doubtful he'd ever have been able to pull that more than once; all in all, all roads seem to lead to inescapably getting killed at the cemetery while outnumbered. But then he recognizes Tuco's gun. And if there were two of them, maybe they would have a chance at whittling down Angel Eyes' men. Regardless of anything else, he can easily assume that Tuco will agree to join him: that gets Tuco back in the race for the money.

So why was hearing Tuco's gun perfect timing, anyway? I'm enjoying the thought that Blondie was actually starting to consider attempting something foolish on his own by the time those shots rang out. If what I think I read about the Italian line is accurate, perfect timing is an English dub only thing, but it does create some fun potential implications.

Reunion

Love Tuco playing with the bubbles in the bath; what a ridiculous lovable problem man. Sometimes he's not only naïve but outright childlike.

"Just give me a little time to get dressed and I'll open up!" says Tuco, presumably assuming it's more people here to kill him and hoping he can get the jump on them if they think he's oblivious and are expecting to wait. Instead, it's Blondie on the other side of the room, pointing a gun at him, having distracted Tuco with the front door while coming in from the back -- much like Tuco did to him back at the inn. Parallels!

Blondie opens by telling him to put his drawers on and take his gun off. Instead, Tuco takes his gun off but then gets distracted by wait, how is he here, so he just stands there stark naked for this whole bit and Blondie just takes it in stride without comment. Amazing.

Presumably, Tuco's assumption here was that after Wallace took him away from Batterville, Angel Eyes would have had Blondie tortured as well, and then either killed him too or just kept him locked up. (Naturally, though he seemed to be feeling a bit of guilt about giving up Blondie in the wake of the torture, by now he has suppressed any sense of guilt or regret for this.) Blondie instead being seemingly alive and unscathed and out of there is suspicious.

Blondie says he's here with "your old friend, Angel Eyes". We didn't actually see Tuco talk to Blondie about Angel Eyes on-screen, only "Hey, Blondie, isn't that Angel Eyes?", but it tracks that Tuco would have told him they were old friends, because of course he did because they were definitely friends, and of course Blondie makes a little ironic jab at it now, after Angel Eyes cold-bloodedly had Tuco tortured.

Tuco sounds legitimately angry at the thought that Blondie talked, despite that he himself talked, and gave up Blondie specifically. Very Tuco moment. As ever, he just applies very different standards to himself, who will just do whatever he needs to do, than to others. And I think he legitimately hadn't expected Blondie to talk. How dare he give Angel Eyes the secret when he wouldn't give it to him?!

Blondie could so easily make at least a bit of a jab at the fact Tuco not only talked but obviously gave up Blondie specifically, too. But instead he chooses to completely ignore that bit and just say nah, he didn't talk, and I love that. Blondie does not want to get on his case for whatever he said under torture, and the blatant hypocrisy is just Tuco being Tuco, something that he understands and expects and tunes out by now.

Tuco is so happy when he realizes Blondie is the only one who knows his half of the secret and he's choosing Tuco, and it kind of breaks my heart. In his naïve way, he just figures Blondie wanted to find the treasure with him rather than Angel Eyes, and he's just over the moon about it -- Blondie likes him! Actually went out of his way to come find him!

I love "I get dressed, I kill him, be right back." Obviously if Blondie came here with Angel Eyes and then ditched him and came to Tuco instead, Angel Eyes has got to be seeing red and looking for Blondie right now, and he's a loose end generally, and in Tuco's elation about being Blondie's preferred partner, going out and casually killing Angel Eyes just seems like a simple no-big-deal task! He'll be right back!

When Blondie says there's five of them, Tuco's face falls, because oh, that's not quite a simple no-big-deal task even in his current state of inflated confidence. And then, when Blondie confirms… his eyes narrow a bit. "So that's why you came to Tuco." In other words, not because he just likes Tuco better and wants to share the treasure with him instead, but because if Blondie tells them or shows them the correct grave, he is absolutely 100% dead if he's up against five guys. It's a practical calculus after all, when Tuco so plainly wanted it to be because Blondie just likes him better.

But then he just goes, "It doesn't matter! I'll kill them all!" He's going to prove his worth to Blondie, by singlehandedly killing those five dudes, and thus render himself irreplaceable again. He can totally do that. Definitely.

This may be one of my favorite scenes? I love Tuco playing in the bath, Blondie sneaking up on him in the same way as Tuco snuck up on him at the inn, the way Tuco starts at the sound of his gun cocking, the delightful comic energy of Tuco forgetting that he's still standing there naked for this whole conversation, Blondie quietly choosing to let "You traitor, you talked!" go, Tuco's emotional progression and Eli Wallach just being an absolute joy in his portrayal of him as usual. It's so revealing how thrilled Tuco is about thinking Blondie would just rather find the treasure with him and how he shifts when he realizes that's not actually why -- but Blondie genuinely does kind of like this ridiculous man in spite of himself, even though there are cold, practical reasons behind why teaming up with Tuco again is his best bet. I love this complicated, fucked-up, utterly fascinating character dynamic and how we're still adding more delightful layers to it two thirds in.

Two against five

Angel Eyes is still maintaining he wants Blondie alive to his men, but they're free to kill Tuco.

Blondie lets Tuco go out there, determined to do this on his own, before actually joining him. When Tuco notices him, he's watching him there and just smiling, marveling at this guy. Tuco really is fully planning to just go and singlehandedly confront Angel Eyes and four other men. Plainly something Blondie himself would have been too methodical and careful to even attempt under most any circumstances (which is indeed why he came to Tuco), and yet Tuco's just unquestioningly doing it, choosing to live in the world where this isn't almost certainly going to get him killed.

"Were you gonna die alone?" is just cute. Blondie really wasn't expecting him to go do it alone -- the whole point was they'd have a chance if it was the two of them together. It's pretty likely that they'll die anyway, but they really do have the best shot working in tandem.

I enjoy how you can see how it takes a moment for Tuco to even parse what he means, but then comes that cautious bit of a smile and the theme music kicks in, and awww yeah! Look at them, working together!

Tuco gets the first guy before Blondie notices him, and Blondie gives him this slightly impressed look, and Tuco crosses himself because of course he does and then moves on, and we see Blondie smile a little bit at that too before they continue. Just Tuco things. Blondie's missed him a bit, hasn't he.

I can't believe the two guys who are behind them with a pretty clear line of sight but don't shoot, and then a rogue cannonball kicks up dust so they can't see and then Blondie and Tuco take them out in succession by drawing their attention and then shooting. I guess they were too distracted hearing the cannonball falling by the time the camera made them fully visible.

Tuco's little wink after that one is a delight. He's just having fun.

In terms of the actual action, this sequence isn't that interesting -- Angel Eyes' men are not really characters and don't feel very competent or threatening at all, there's never a real sense that Blondie and Tuco are in serious danger, they barely even actually get shot at, and every time they shoot they just instantly kill the other guy, with not much real tension about it. But really it's a sequence about Blondie and Tuco genuinely working well together. First Tuco kills one Blondie didn't notice, then they each get one in a coordinated effort, then Blondie gets one Tuco didn't notice. They make equal contributions, compensating for each other's weaknesses, and it all works out smoothly, where they cover each other and enhance each other's skills rather than getting in one another's way.

Tuco says Angel Eyes is his and Blondie just says, "All right," a little sign of respect. Angel Eyes did have Tuco tortured, so it seems only right. (Later, though, when it really matters, he will absolutely not leave Angel Eyes to Tuco -- too careful.)

Love Tuco stumbling over reading the word "idiots". He grew up in poverty and probably had zero formal education; he's obviously learned the alphabet and can theoretically read, but for anything but the most common words it clearly takes him a bit of trying to sound things out. Another character trait that's not necessary for anything but it's just fun and adds even more flavor and texture to him, like his religiosity.

Blondie reading it for him and then going "It's for you" and handing it to him is a great gag and also reads fully as good-natured ribbing at this point and it's great -- Tuco doesn't even react to him making that joke, just tears up the piece of paper.

(On the other hand, the Doylist reason he doesn't react is that, as Christopher Frayling's commentary points out, you can tell from Clint Eastwood's lips that on set he said, "It's for us." Again, I love "It's for you"; it's definitely a funnier line, and the comic timing with Blondie handing Tuco the paper is perfect, and the sense of friendly ribbing is great. But what I do enjoy about "It's for us" is that it calls back to the other time Blondie called the two of them collectively idiots, namely, "God's not on our side, 'cause he hates idiots also," and I really do enjoy Blondie calling them both idiots as a pair being not just a somewhat ambiguous one-off thing but a habit. I will take on board the fun implications about his character while considering "It's for you" canon.)

One sequence and the movie has successfully sold us on Blondie and Tuco collaborating in a perfectly genuine way. Last time, we ended on the delightful moment where these two guys who hate each other are going to have to set it aside and work together anyway; by now, an hour later, I was sincerely rooting for them to both make it out of this alive and actually split the treasure together, and that's a marvel after how the entire first half of this movie went. It's just an all-around delight and their dynamic is so much fun. I love them.

(Concluded in part three! Thanks for reading if you have been.)

[carpathxanridge]

with all the current radblr discourse i chose the perfect time to be finally reading bell hooks’ the will to change (men, masculinity and love). i’ve wanted to read this book for a while because of a quote from it: “Lying in my girlhood bed waiting to hear the hard anger in his voice, the invasive sound of his commands, I used to think, ‘If only he would die, we could live.’” and visiting my dad right now pushed me over the edge and made me go: i need to read this book now, urgently. but i’ve only just started it and it’s kind of hilarious how much of bell hooks’ analysis and insights into the shortcomings of the second wave and the blind spots of separatism would get her called a handmaiden if she were posting on radblr. it’s both funny and depressing that we are really all just rehashing the same debates that feminists have been having for decades, since the start of the second wave. (bell hooks writes in the preface that wanting to have feminist discussions including men has had her accused of being “male-identified” and “sleeping with the enemy.”) and i also find it funny, cause i remember when it was more popular on radblr to discuss womanism and name drop bell hooks (as well as audre lorde) as proof that radical feminism can be intersectional and it’s the tras who are racist! and i just wonder how many women on this site have actually read these women’s writings and engaged with the nuanced debates of the second wave… i do think there was a time, though, when radblr was having more complex and thoughtful debates? or perhaps i was just following smarter, less reactionary people then, most of whom are now inactive or have become like me and only occasionally post sincerely about feminism, and mostly just use their blogs personally, because radblr has just become such a shallow and negative space. and it makes me sad, i miss that time when i used this blog as an actual means for digesting feminist thought, and when i was engaging with the intelligent thoughts and diverse opinions of interesting women in my phone…

[ingravinoveritas]

turquoisedata replied to your post "I don't know if this is just me or what, but…”

This kid will start school in September. Fuck knows what older kids will yell at her. As mum of a kid who is currently off long term sick at least in part because of bullying, I'm genuinely horrified that she would SAY THIS TO THE ENTIRE INTERNET.

I was also someone who was bullied horrifically at school, and the last thing that I think any kid would want is for their parent to add to it, even unintentionally.

There were so many responses earlier that were people praising Georgia and saying how hilarious this is. And I know Georgia has built a brand on being "irreverent" and not having a filter, but nothing changes the fact that it's weird as hell to write a birthday post for your 4-year-old with a caption like this. As others have said, it's likely Birdie will see this at some point, and bullying now is unquestionably worse now than it was years ago because with social media, it doesn't stop when you get home from school. So even if this is a "joke," it comes across as being at Birdie's expense, which is also an odd thing to do on a kid's birthday.

That's not even getting into the numerous implications of the last sentence. I know we only have this little slice of their lives that Georgia chooses to share, but on social media, optics become truth, so why would you even want your relationship to be presented in this way, regardless of whether it reflects the truth? It just comes across as her finding an excuse to brag about having sex with David (again, no cap, I think we'd all love to be Georgia or Michael in this instance), but it makes it seem like she is trying to prove something, and if you're already married to/sleeping with David Tennant, I'm not sure what else is left to prove.

Just...so many choices going on here, and I'm at a loss to understand most of them...

[moophinz]

I’ve made a post on this already, but after acquiring heaps and reams of knowledge, I’ve decided to go at it again.

(From Mine’s TV Tropes page.)

I cannot stop anyone from wanting to view Mine as bi, and my intentions don’t lie there. But instead, I wanted to bring up that it hardly seems like the intentions of the devs and especially Yokoyama. Mine is a pretty big deal in being a heavily implied gay character regardless of having been a villain, partly due to how he’s just as masculine as his peers and his love for another man is a core part of his characterization where sympathy comes into play. On top of that, they do not shy away from heavy handed hints in his total lack of interest in women romantically and sexually.

Yokoyama is not only a non stranger to commentary on how much he loves Mine, but he’s also made remarks that imply he finds it funny that women are attracted to him though they can’t have him.

RGGO is particularly revealing about this thanks to how much room it gives to focus on character elements they couldn’t do in the actual games.

—A beach event in Okinawa has Kanda wanting to throw a party and see who between them can invite the most women. Mine is less than uninterested, but still winds up getting a few women interested in him. He can’t seem to outright reject them, but gives them very bland answers.

—This is a big trend in other Mine centric stories. Upon being asked by a woman if he’s by himself, he gives a slightly roundabout answer instead of outright saying anything more direct. He agrees to do something with her despite his ongoing lack of enthusiasm.

—As told, he’s gone on dates with women thanks to being unable to turn them down (he’s interestingly kind enough to women even though there’s some popular jokes about him being a misogynistic gay man). But if he sees a woman once, doesn’t really see them again. All in all, this is incredibly different from many other yakuza men who adore women as they slot into the three important status symbols: power, money, and women. All things that Mine brings up at the end of 3 as stuff that wasn’t really giving him any meaning or purpose in life. His line about having any woman he could want goes largely misunderstood. Especially after he ends that line with saying living life that way was a lie.

Comparing an outright love confession to Mine being thankful to have had Katase around feels almost laughable. On one hand, I’m at least glad the person who wrote this acknowledges the romantic feelings with Daigo, but on the other hand… “heavily implied?” With Katase? No… Not every meaningful statement or even so much as breathing the same air as one another between a man and woman is grounds for love.

Genuinely, it feels like they’ve done nearly everything but outright use any direct wording for his sexuality. He’s the only character they’ve gone this far with. Others get more vagueness or subtlety.

(From Majima’s)

(From Zhao’s)

I’ve talked to @04tenno quite a bit about this. And as usual, they’re the reason I know quite a bit, too.

Majima’s section is bizarre to me for immediately throwing out there that he’s a huge ladies’ man. (This was listed elsewhere in his section). Which is just… hilarious. Sure, plenty of irl female fans adore him, but in universe, he’s nothing of the sort and often interacts with women by using a more friendly tone of voice (probably to seem less intimidating) along with other behavioral changes. I also take up issue regarding the way the person who wrote this seems to completely downplay Majima and Kiryu’s relationship to the first game. But that’s a whole other conversation…

Zhao’s section feels incredibly different compared to the other two due to how the person writing it seems to completely lean into the potential signifiers and stereotypes surrounding him and includes other instances beyond that. There’s nothing about him being in a hostess club automatically meaning he’s attracted to women. As such, even a lot of dudebros seem to openly view Zhao as not being bisexual, but instead, straight up gay. This seems to be due to the fact that Zhao is never shown playing into the typical mainstream macho type stuff as opposed to Mine.

I didn’t take a screenshot, but Daigo even gets the assumed-to-be-into-women-because-he-was-next-to-one-treatment. While he went to hostess clubs, he looks so extremely despondent and out of the moment when we see him there. I can’t find it in me to assume he’s attracted to women just because he went to those types of clubs. His sexuality is totally up for debate as several others are as well. And we can all see him however we want. But, overall, immediately assuming things for such and such reasons starts to feel a little off to me. All in all, Mine gets this treatment the worse thanks to his sexuality actually being a big factor in his character.

[theartfuldodger26]

Have you ever described the Lestrange family home? If not, I would love to know how you imagine it? (I personally see a Tudor estate with vast gardens).

Hah, Anon, you got me! See, I usually pretend that Bella never married and/or still lives in the ancestral seat of the Blacks, Black Castle, meaning I haven't spent much time thinking about the Lestrange's home. I've never described it in writing, as all my fics either take place in Malfoy Manor or Black Castle (or other random places).

Another reason I haven't thought of this much is that my history isn't terribly good as to explain why a French aristocrat moves to England (Lestrange ancestors). Now that I think on it, though, I do have an idea. And the move is pretty recent.

My hot take is that the Lestranges came from France during the French Revolution. So the ancestral home is still in French soil, but the modern official seat is an Early Regency Era Mansion, in our Muggle terms - much more modern than the average English pureblooded family seat. I love the idea of massive gardens that Bella has closely taken care of, because they relax her headaches and anxiety.

Now, you didnt ask this, so forgive me for adding this, I've just been looking for an excuse to talk about the Blacks' ancestral home, a massive castle bigger than Hogwarts. I HC that the Blacks were wizards and witches that served in the Roman army and were given land in Britain back at around the turn of the calendar from BCE to CE. They built a large fort, then a roman mansion, and its basis is still standing, along with the roman baths, which Voldemort is very fond of using. Over that was built the medieval castle, which got bigger, grander and more fortified (something that Bella loves) as wizardkind turned away from the Muggle world. Just like Hogwarts, the grounds are extensive and include gardens of all flavours, like a large maze where Bellamort often hide and have sex, to Bella's favourite creation, a garden full of poisonous flowers and plants (one such garden actually exists in the Muggle world, highly recommend a visit). There is also a lake, where Bella feeds the ducks to calm herself (something I often do myself, I love my ducks) and where she once nearly drowned while suffering from sleepwalking post-Azkaban.

I'm going to pretend that Anon has noticed my tendency to describe buildings and interiors in my fics, talk about it some more, and flatter myself in the process. See, the thing is, I'm not much for excess myself, so Rococo/palatial style interiors and the likes are not really for me, and I find that Bellatrix and Voldemort in particular would have a slightly more minimalistic approach to decor too. Luxurious yes, but not superfluous. Bella would be anal about preserving her existing homes (of the Blacks, the Lestranges, the Gaunts, whatever she and Voldemort built for themselves) as they came to her hands, but not terribly into adding stuff, which I imagine Narcissa doing a lot - adding wings, changing styles in rooms etc.

Bella has her own rooms wherever she lives, but spends most nights in Voldemort's quarters, which are quite doric and functional in taste. He also showcases many of the keepsakes he's collected from his travels. And books are absolutely everywhere, along with boardgames like chess and go. Both for the sake of privacy to their affair and for safety, they have removed all portraits and paintings that include people from their quarters, but Bella will often visit portraits of her dead relatives for a chat, because she is missing them. Voldemort occasionally joins her, and they pretend to have a far more professional relationship in front of her parents, which they both find hilarious.

What else, what else. Oh, obviously Voldemort has an extensive snake collection in the dungeons, that he cares for himself. Having been invited to Black Castle from when he was at school with Cygnus, he has technically lived in his rooms as much as Bellatrix has lived there, if not more.

Back to the og question.

Bella and Rodolphus definitely have separate bedrooms. Bella's has a lovely window nook and a large balcony, because she finds it very calming to read under the stars, where all her family is located. She often falls asleep on aa daybed in the balcony or the garden, when the weather will allow it. They also have a Quidditch pitch, where Bella and Rod play like when they were students, while Voldemort, who hates flying on a broom and anything related to Quidditch or sports pretends he needs to be away for work, and won;t even dare look at Bella flying. Have I mentioned Voldemort is afraid of heights? Many times, but here it is again.

Now moving to Cursed Child, I think that Delphi chose to live with Rodolphus for a long time, after he revealed her true parentage and the fact that he was practically the only person looking out for her, before he died too. So she has her own rooms, which, like her father's are relatively frugal and simple, full of notes and books, but from her mum's side she has a love for the skys, so she had a roof knocked down and you can now see the sky from the glass ceiling. imitation of the charm on the Great Hall ceiling, if you like.

This was great fun answering, Anon, so thank you very much both for taking interest in my work and in bringing the fun and the old little grey cells to work! I hope I answered with some satisfaction to some degree (I admit I was unprepared for this!).

Anyone is welcome to add their own HCs on the matter, I'd love to know more about how you imagine these characters' homes as, since I'm a sucker for architecture.

[warm-starlight]

I just saw that post you shared from TW and I wanted to get some things off my chest.

There’s no need to write a pathetic piece desperately trying to downplay Hanji’s impact to Levi. Erwin and Hanji are both important to him. THATS FUCKING CANON! I’m so tired reading the same “Levi encouraged Erwin to use Hanjis squad as a bait to save his life. Therefore Levi doesn’t give a shit about Hanji and is in love with Erwin.” ERWIN IS THEIR COMMANDER AND HIS SAFETY IS A PRIORITY! That's literally how the military chain of command is preserved! Hanji would’ve done the same thing in Levi’s place without a doubt. ”Levi still mentions Erwin even though he is dead for four years.” DUUUUHHH?!Of course he still thinks about him and his promise to him! All the scouts along with Erwin died to give him the opportunity to kill zeke and he fucking failed! Of course he is eager to finish the job! And for the love of god stop using the “I’m championing for LGBT ships and you are dismissing roori becase they are gay.” Girl,roori is the least dismissed ship out there. They are literally one of the biggest army of shippers out there and theres no shortage of people defending them all the time. Also, levihan isn’t a even a straight ship?! Did they miss the whole thing where Isayama changed Hanjis pronouns in the manga?I also hate how whoever wrote this feels like their personal interpretation is the only thing that matters and ours is wrong and invalid. All that shit they are presenting about Levi and Erwin should be interpreted as romantic but those between Levi and Hange no matter how emotional and intimate should not?Grow up!If levihan bothers you so much block and mute people.Do what you gotta do to keep away from the content you dont want to see!Let people enjoy hamless shit.

I have a lot to say about every paragraph of that post, but i honestly don't care for wasting my time on someone who chooses to read the manga with their eyes closed.

Remember when that central MP told Levi that Erwin is captured and will be hanged and offered to let him go if he just gives himself in? Levi said "no", even though he should want to protect Erwin's life no matter what according to them, right? Instead Levi said "Some lives are more valuable than the others.". At that moment he prioritized the lives of Eren and Historia over Erwin.

Also "he never thought about Hange" after they died is hilariously incorrect. He told Hange to "keep watching". He followed their theory that killing Zeke might sever Eren's connection to the paths and stop the rumbling. He also used the knowledge he got from them to quickly asses that the Ackermans and shifters are immune to the titan gas and lead everyone to kill Eren.

He literally thought about them as he was having his internal monologue. They were at the front of his mind so to speak and the only active character in the panels, while everyone else was a passive listener.

He saw them among every other survey corps member when he gave them his final salute.

Years later he saw a plane fly by that reminded him of the day he lost them and erooris clowning about that panel saying "HaNgE iS A PLaNe" are just completely braindead and don't understand literary symbolism.

There are too many scenes that showed Levi cares deeply about Hange and the fact he prioritized **the freaking commander of the survey corps** at some point does not negate that he has almost been hit by Zeke's rocks worrying about their safety and that he stopped in the middle of an intense battle to make Armin protect them when they got injured.

In the forest afrer finding out what happened to Zeke (because Zeke was the last thing he remembers before the explosion??) he immediately brought the conversation to Hange's expressed feelings and gave them much needed encouragement.

Anyway. Erooris clearly are seething because all they have is the promise which, although was made to Erwin,was really about All the dead survey corps members. The moment between them was nowhere near on the level of intimacy and vulnerability that 126 and 132 had. They are clearly green with envy.

When the shippes choose to talk shit about "a rival ship" rather than talking about their own content this is how you know they have no leg to stand on.

Yes, Levi cared about Erwin deeply, yes, his loyalty to him was amazing, but he has done things to Hange he has done to nobody else and Hange was the only person who witnessed him at his most vulnerable and soft and all of it was meant for them alone.

[gaywizardzone]

deliriously in love with your dgm fanart. i stumbled into a full course buffet. exquisite, splendid, 10/10 no notes. do you have any DGM fic recs, bc i have suitcases full of DGM recs,

ok first of all thank you so much!! dgm is i think the thing i've drawn the most fanart for in my life cumulatively? in many bursts of insanity over the years. lol. so i have a lot of fun drawing it and i'm very honored that you like what i've made so much. also re: your other ask my worstie and collaborator ozwuv and i are working on it together since you sent it to both of us (we made a joint google doc to combine our perspectives lol) so the answer might not come from me but you'll get one!

second of all i am kind of an old livejournal era hag in terms of my taste in fanfiction in general and my history with this series in particular, so there are exactly three things in here that are less than a decade old and two of them are from 2016. naturally this means that a lot of it is now divergent with some details of how the plot and characterization and etc has actually gone (sorry to everyone back in the day who thought kanda was looking for some missing sister or something. one truly could not have possibly seen all of that coming). that said they still hold up to me in terms of general character dynamics and being fun and well written and such. recommendations also depend on what you like! i will generally not put that much shipping in here because there aren't that many of those i've read and would recommend in the first place (no hate to our strong and beautiful yaoi warriors, i used to read nearly anything back in the day, it's just that not too much of it has stuck with me) but there are some things that are so iconic to me that i could not in good conscience not include them. lots of this is kanda-centric because i like him :) putting it all below the cut

Hard Living by metisket - the aforementioned ship fic that's too iconic not to include. changed my brain chemistry when i first read it many many years ago. i seriously considered making it the only thing i put on here for a second just for the bit. To Me this is actually such a classic that it transcends shipping. the humor is very sharp and funny and i'm so in love with the concept of dying young for them meaning getting old early first and having to deal with it all together. they're so damn hilarious. it should happen to them. it does in my dreams. it never will but in my head there will always be a world where it does <3 i love to draw fanart of them as old decrepit men at 35 and maybe i'll post some of it someday. obviously it was written pre-alma so you just have to accept that it's wildly inaccurate in that regard. anyway pretty much anything this author has written for dgm is really good, i will put a few more metisket favorites on this list but check it all out even if i didn't include it. also this particular one is the inspiration for my most favoritest kanda fic <3 below

Blooming From the Mud by zarinthel - this is not just me shilling fic by someone i know. i am an absolute kanda diehard and this is really THE fic for me in terms of like hitting all the things i love about him. zar number one kanda understander. incredibly funny and compelling i don't care if you don't know anything about bleach (i don't either i haven't read it since middle school) or that you haven't read the fic it's inspired by (though you should) or that it's unfinished. you all should and in fact must read it. kanda's life is both so sad and so hilarious because of how sad it is and his pov here is just so excellently funny because he really is such a funny individual. also not a slash fic though it does really highlight how close and kind of insane his and allen's relationship is in a way that i find extremely delightful and accurate and just wonderful. they make me sick (positive). really good. so if you're a non shipper but you care about them you should read it and if you're a shipper you will also certainly enjoy it anyway so you should read it. truly for everyone!

Chimera Obscurant by moonsheen - i tend to struggle with most kanda/alma fix-it fanwork i've encountered despite loving them dearly because i rarely feel like anyone evokes the way their relationship is both strong and a bit unsettling (at least to me) without swinging around into being too edgy (i fully admit i have not explored super deeply because i get frustrated easily so i'm sure there are things that would appeal to me that i'm missing). this is one of the very few things i've read for them that i've been like yes i think this is beginning to get at the kind of atmosphere i want to see. if i remember correctly this was written before kanda came back to drag allen into accepting support and friendship so i'm just like "oh whatever" about its incompatibility with that. fanwork for ongoing stuff truly creates divergent timelines in my head. anyway this is the most nsfw thing that will end up in here and it's not particularly explicit, but heads up that it is there in case you're averse to that

In his Heart by harukami - another kanda/alma but just kanda technically. i read this and was so delighted that i made a :D face in real life. i've assimilated this into my worldview like i think this is something he would do. he's crazy like that.

Economies of Scale by liketolaugh - last kanda and alma one but this one's here less for the romantic aspect and more because i'm so endeared by the idea of fresh out of the lab kanda being so angry and miserable but also completely blindsided by all the stuff there is in the world. ten year old who is learning about so many new animals. really funny and cute and sad.

siblings, probably by scarlet666 - this one's for the kanda and lenalee enthusiasts. the best friends lovers. i love them so dearly i put the level of energy people usually put into shipping into their bestie-isms so naturally this was for me. huge shoutout to this person for writing 20k words about them if nobody else in the world has my back i know they do. i have the memory of a goldfish and this is long enough that i can't really scan quickly to refresh my memory and make more detailed comments but i know it deserves a spot on here. my note from when i bookmarked it just reads AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH but i never leave a comment in that field at all usually so that speaks volumes i think. life is so beautiful sometimes. peace and love on planet earth <3

Welcome Home by metisket - for the rest of this list i am about to hit you with the metisket beam. the author whose work i most fondly remember from my youth by far, which means that's what's stuck with me and what half of my recs will be. i love this one dearly because i love a normal person perspective in insane anime settings type of fic and reever is so delightfully normal and longsuffering and also funny as hell. love how his relationship with komui is in this. not a ship fic and am not recommending it as such but it did make me in the back of my head go "komui/reever is almost like roy/riza without the war crimes for people who are cringefail mad scientist enthusiasts." sane responsible second in command type slash babysitter who is devotedly loyal to crazy irresponsible boss but also wants to kill him a little bit. they're so great to me

Growing Up by Accident by metisket - just so kanda and allen and the way their relationship is. having the exact same feelings about something but approaching it so differently that they want to attack each other. love them 4ever. the way metisket writes allen's internal voice is also delightful to me (like not JUST here but in general). he's so jaded and funny. probably my favorite allen to read out of anyone who writes him ever. and kanda is always just so...kanda.......<3

Sand Castle by metisket - (smiles and blood leaks from the side of my mouth) i love you allen walker. i love this look at allen's growth pre-series from cross' perspective and how he managed to become the hilarious twisted convoluted wonderful little freak that he is. allen is so.....everything to me truly i would never have it any other way. really kind of darkly funny but also like agonizingly emotional. delightful

Mask and Mirror by metisket - love this take on what the inside of lavi's head is like, and also the way all the character dynamics shine through even in such a short thing, they're all so wonderfully cute and funny. the sense of humor is really great. lenalee didn't even make a real appearance but even the brief mention of how she and kanda are had me giggling.

in the circus series by metisket - certified classic. i love timcanpy pov and this whole thing is just so emblematic of my fond memories of old dgm fanworks. i love anything that highlights the way they're all just so immensely fucked up to the point that it's actually incredibly absurd and funny. i'm pretty sure metisket's LJ has more mini outtakes from this series but i'm too lazy to dig through the dgm tag right now so i'll just link it so you can do it yourself if you're interested.

lastly if you're looking for someone to share your recs with you're free to! i am on a personal level picky as hell and my taste in styles and approaches to fanwork was forged in the livejournal mines and has not evolved with the times LOL but i also don't judge <3

[fellthemarvelous]

The Jedi got their own Doctor as well.

I haven't written fanfic in years but I might actually write this.

The unhinged, slightly incoherent Doctor Who/Star Wars crossover meta-ish long post no one asked for

Ahsoka season 2 needs to give me the backstory between Ahsoka and Huyang. How did they find each other? Was it after Ezra rescued her on Malachor? Was it before that? We have no idea what she was doing leading up to those events because she only showed up on Rebels for a handful of episodes.

And the last time we saw Huyang, he and Ahsoka and the younglings were having to deal with space pirates (HONDOOOOOO) and then General Grievous. Ahsoka was much younger in that time and we never saw Huyang again after that.

At what point in canon did they run into each other again? I think he's the only one who knows that Anakin = Vader based on a cryptic reply he gave to Hera when she asked him what Ahsoka's master was like. All he said was intense.

He's so used to Ahsoka's chaotic nature that every time she's like "I'm gonna do the thing" he's just like yeah okay because he's been dealing with the Jedi for 25,000 years and they are going to yeet themselves into the unknown whether he thinks it's a good idea or not. He remembers what Anakin Skywalker was like, after all.

This is one of my favorite things about Huyang's "history" though.

The idea that even the Jedi have their own version of the 10th Doctor is hilarious to me, and that rumor started somewhere.

But I also love what another droid says about Huyang in this passage.

Huyang is 25,000 years old so he's had plenty of time to become the one the Jedi go to when it comes to lightsaber construction. He helps the Jedi build weapons that are meant to be used as tools of self-defense because lightsabers are, in fact, extremely dangerous. This sounds like something the Doctor would do because the Jedi were peacekeepers and not soldiers, and it makes you sad when you realize that Huyang had to watch as the order he had devoted himself to for 25,000 years to were killed in a genocide that turned the Jedi's closest allies against them by removing their free will and forcing them to kill their Jedi generals, and it was all planned over centuries by the Sith who intentionally kept their numbers small.

When he ran into Ahsoka again, what was it like for him? She was one of the few survivors of the Jedi Purge. He remembers her as a child and now she's in her 40s. She was one of the few who was able to grow up because she survived.

What was going on in his head when he handed Ezra the emitter he was looking for because he somehow knew Ezra was looking for one like Kanan's? Huyang somehow knew it would be important to keep a second identical part around when he watched Caleb Dume (Kanan Jarrus) construct his very first lightsaber.

How much does Kanan's death weigh on him? Kanan was another child who survived the Purge. He met Kanan as Caleb not many years before the war ended and the Jedi were wiped out. Caleb had to change his name because he watched the clones gun down his master and he ran away exactly like she told him to before she died. Running away is what lead him to sacrificing his life so the rebellion would survive. Kanan fell in love with Hera, fathered a child he never got to meet, and now Huyang is getting to know Kanan's son (and will absolutely not be teaching Jacen how to construct a lightsaber "thank you very much your mom already said no" and the Tenth Doctor is used to angry moms slapping him in the face.)

Huyang spent 25,000 years living in one galaxy and teaching generation after generation of Jedi how to construct lightsabers. He was given the title of Professor because of the wealth of knowledge he carries around inside of him, and he only uses it for good, and he shares insightful wisdom and knowledge with the Jedi Order century after century after century.

And because he followed Ahsoka into the mouth of a space whale so they could travel to a completely different galaxy altogether, he is now stuck in another galaxy far, far away with Ahsoka (present), Sabine (future), Baylon Skoll (past), Shin Hati (new), a bunch of pacifist turtles, the force ghost of Anakin Skywalker, and the images of the Father, Daughter and Son that are carved into the mountains somewhere (and for some reason the Daughter's head is missing).

Now he can pass the tale of the Jedi across the universe. On the same planet where the Mortis gods are worshipped. It's going to link directly to the fact that Ahsoka is connected to the Daughter, both of whom were killed by the Son on Mortis, but Daughter allowed Anakin to use her remaining life force to bring Ahsoka back to life.

Is this going to turn into the story of how Huyang has to say goodbye to Ahsoka Tano, former Jedi and survivor who became a dear friend and travel buddy?

Is Seatos calling her back home? She possesses a gift that comes from an actual god. It's the only reason she's alive. And why Ezra had to reach into the past and save her from dying on Malachor at the hands of Vader. It would have tied the light side of the Force to a Sith temple.

There is only one other person Ahsoka shares such a strong bond with, and that's Captain Rex (is he alive, is he dead, if he died offscreen I am going to fucking sue Disney). Yeah I know he's old now, but he deserves a proper send-off. The Clone Wars was, as Dave Filoni has said, a story about Ahsoka Tano and Captain Rex. Captain Rex is her best friend and the one who was standing by her side when the Clone Wars ended. Neither of them would have survived without the other.

Ahsoka knew there was no way she would be able to save the other clones, but she refused to be the one who killed them. She couldn't do it. They might have all shared a face but all of them were unique and important to her, and she could never ask Rex to save her life by killing them. It made getting out a lot more difficult because the clones were able to just get back up again and start fighting a few minutes later since Rex was only stunning them. (Interesting how that happened on Seatos too but this time because the troopers were zombies.)

Ezra was able to escape Seatos in Thrawn's ship but Ahsoka, Sabine and Huyang got left behind.

Did Rex even find out Ahsoka was alive after she came back from Malachor? If so, this means he's losing her yet again. For the fourth time in their lives. If not, then he's still on his third time (which was Malachor).

Also interesting how he was found on a planet in the Seelos system, and it was just a barren wasteland like Tatooine. Seatos and Seelos sound alike. Satine and Sabine sound alike and were both Mandalorian. How Sabine built a deadly weapon called The Duchess when she was being trained by the Empire that was able to disintegrate soldiers wearing Mandalorian armor, and it was named after Satine, the pacifist who turned Mandalore into a peaceful planet. And ironically now it's at peace because the Mandalorians were wiped out after the fall of the Empire. And think about how the clones all came from the DNA of Jango Fett, a Mandalorian bounty hunter with blue and silver armor (and described as genetically perfect specimen by the Kaminoans).

Huyang is watching all of this unfold, but he's so old that it's just one of countless adventures he's been on, only this time he bonded with a former Jedi after a war that devastated their order completely. He might be a droid, but he's also more than that. He's ancient and wise and found a friend in Ahsoka Tano, the one who is imbued with the life force of a god and comes from a lineage that stands out above the others because it's the lineage of the Sith as well.

And as Huyang has now famously said...

How is it all going to end? If he is the Doctor, how did he become a droid too?

One day I might write a long ass fic about this if I ever have the energy to do so.