#i also keep going back to star wars
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RANDOM ASK UMMMM FAVORITE CHARACTER FROM YOUR FAVORITE FANDOM!
Tricky. I don't know if I have a single favorite fandom, it depends. I'm a long time fan of Tolkien's work. In which case I think it would come down to either Merry or Sam.
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another wip, that i wont be able to finish for a while
#guys send help and motivation for the next week i have 3 tests and a homework to finish rip#star wars#obi wan kenobi#commander cody#codywan#my art#wip#uni is kicking my ass so badly 😭#trying my best not get back to the mindset i was in the past few months#but its hard like this ugh#at least only a week and exam mont left of this semester#sorry for rambling here 🤣#you guys should watch the vampire gay show#thats what keeps me going its so good#im obsessed with it#i made a typo *month#thise drawing was also inspired by that show#its great show#i think i need sleep why im still rambling here#okay sorry if you are still reading the tags#made another typo *this#*screams silently*
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han solo wants what atton rand has
#AND THATS A FACT#guys pls play kotor 2 and see my vision#atton deserves a romance questline with as much depth and length as astarion’s fr#and also an option to be an evil power couple#i will fund the kotor remakes and kotor 3 myself if i have to#its the way i didn’t even know he existed when i started playing#but then i fell in love#like he’s an extremely close second to anakin#‘they can’t hurt you bc you’ll be right here with me playing pazaak’ AND THEN THAT BEING BASICALLY THE LAST THING HE SAYS#obsidian partner with larian studios and bring kotor back and my life is yours#i deadass wrote fic about my mc and atton after playing#star wars#knights of the old republic#i havent played the restored content mod but even then its like……. i need something more#a fictional star wars situationship really had me crying bc i wanted a better ending#kotor 2 is so interesting bc i loved it#but whats great about it sometimes reinforces whats bad about it#that being the cut content and the sometimes apparent lack of substance in spots#i shouldn’t have been an infant when kotor 2 was made i shouldve been in the writers room#i need him i need him i need him#‘you have a husband?’ oooooooooooooooooooh#i just think seeing the kotor games with the graphics of something like jedi survivor would be insane#fav#i could talk about this game forever i beat both of them in the span of like about 2 weeks i was obsessed#my nerd ass loves star wars sm#like lets keep going back in time i rlly dont care about the ‘modern’ star wars era#and theres an easter egg line where atton calls you an angel even though he says hes joking#ahhhhhhhhhhhhh#genuinely down bad#📜.scrolls
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How do you manage to stay motivated on one project for so long? I understand you must have your ups and downs but I can't help but admire your consistency with this fic. Do you have any advice to give to someone struggling to stick with something?
Honestly, I have multiple roommates who read my fic and would kill me if I stopped posting new chapters.
I'm only sort of joking.
I actually have several stories that I'm working on at any point in time, but I'm trying to only post one or two of them at a time so that I don't overwhelm myself with the sense of obligation to different readers. If I'm completely stuck on any given day, I do let myself work on other projects for a bit.
But the most important thing for keeping me on track for a long work, especially Don't Look Back, has been treating the creative process as a collaboration, not a solo project.
I'm lucky enough to have some of these people live in my home, so if I'm ever stuck or disinterested I can wander into another room and start whining about not knowing what to do next, or being confused by characters getting away from me. When I get comments that make me want to scream or run away and never post again, I can rant to them until I feel better. When I'm low on inspiration or desire to write, I can tell them about my favorite parts that haven't happened yet, and all the special plot points that I'm excited to torment people with and they will giggle with me and egg me on.
There's the practical aspect of me figuring out how often I can post and not burnout (weekly works well for me on this project, but I've had more aggressive and less aggressive posting schedules), and having an outline so when I'm getting lost I can get back on track. There's the fun of a lot of the comments that people leave, excited to see what happens next and making guesses. That's pretty motivating.
But beyond that, having a community of people who I can be uncool and unsure with really helps. Having people I can spitball ideas at, who can correct me in real time, who can make suggestions and keep me on track is really critical.
Art is so collaborative. If you don't have people physically close to you who can hype your writing, even through the worst bits of it, I would suggest trying to find people online who can do it. People who can be consistently there, and like what you see as your weirdest or most niche ideas. I have several, but even having just one can make a huge difference.
#writing#Don't Look Back#Don't Look Back wouldn't exist if I hadn't been goaded into outlining how I would do a Star Wars time travel fix it#egged on by people who also wanted to see me do all of the politics#with all of the ladies#They are absolutely responsible for keeping it going at this point
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My last post about the progress on my Batuu vest left off with me contemplating exterior pockets, looking to Bix Caleen as an example of a fitted vest in the Star Wars universe. I ended up talking myself out of any visible exterior pockets, with or without flaps, after looking at all those pictures of Bix. I've got enough other bits of visual interest going on with my outfit that I felt like exterior pockets just cluttered up the look.
Once I had decided against adding additional pockets, I was able to move on to the next step: finishing all the edges and attaching the lining to the exterior in preparation for getting the zipper in place. I turned under the armscyes of the lining and the exterior separately, both using a blue lace hem tape that I originally bought to go with this fabric back in 2016. Eventually I'll top-stitch them together with the hem tape sandwiched invisibly between the exterior and the lining, but for now they're finished enough to allow me to try the vest on without fraying the armscyes.
It took me awhile to think through all the steps for attaching the zipper, with all the asymmetry and overlapping and exterior and lining, while also not wanting the zipper to show from the outside at all. Eventually I figured out that I would need the underlap (left front) to be completely sewn together with the edges finished before I could attach the zipper to that side -- but I would need the overlap (right front) to not be sewn together yet, so that I could attach the zipper just to the lining.
With that finally figured out, I put the lining and the exterior together with right/finished sides together, lined up all the seams and notches carefully, then pinned the edges together from the left (underlap side) shoulder, down the center front of the underlap, and around the lower edge of the vest all the way around to the bottom corner of the center front on the overlapping right side of the vest.
After a lot of ironing to get all of that to lay flat when right side out, I was able to trim the center front edge of the overlap to be nice and clean and straight again. When I drafted the center front panels, I modified that right side to have an additional ~2" of width past where I wanted the zipper to be, specifically so there would be a built-in flap to cover over the zipper. Remember: no visible zippers in Star Wars!
Once I had the overlap panels of both the lining and the exterior all trued up, I marked the center front line on the lining side (in the below pic, the angled line going from lower left to upper right), laid half of the separating zipper onto the fabric so that the teeth were lined up with where the center front line met the lower edge of the vest, then measured from the outside edge of the zipper ribbon to the cut edge of the overlap panel. It was just about 7cm away from that edge, so I measured that distance all the way up (past the dashed line that marked the underbust elevation) and drew a nice crisp line with my chalk pen.
That gave me an easy line to follow when sewing the zipper to the inside/lining of the overlapping flap. Since I hadn't sewn the edge of that panel together yet, I was able to move the exterior layer out of the way and sew the zipper only to the lining, for now. I sewed one line of stitching just slightly in from the outside edge of the zipper ribbon, then did a second pass about halfway between the edge and the zipper teeth. It's on there nice and secure, but has a bit of room to separate from the fabric while it's being zipped, so it doesn't get fiddly.
After that, it was just a matter of pinning the other side of the zipper to the lower front corner of the underlap (this time on the exterior side of the fabric, where it faces the lining of the overlap), then try it on with the rest of my Batuu Bounding outfit and pin the underlap side of the zipper until I had the fit I wanted.
I sewed down that side to match the overlap panel side of the zipper, then tried everything on again to double-check the fit. It was a bit weird with the exterior of the overlap flap still unattached, but it fit well enough that I decided to sew the edges of that overlap flap from the lower corner up to the shoulder seam. The back of the neckline is still open, and the armscyes have been turned under but not attached to each other yet, so I can turn the whole thing right side out by pulling it through the back of the neck. With all that ironed and the zipper zipped up, the vest looks like this currently:
Folding back the outer edge of the overlap reveals the zipper. Because of all the overlapping and underlapping, the zipper is just top-stitched in place. It was way more mind-bending to figure out where everything needed to be placed to get this look, but way easier to actually sew on than, say, an invisible zipper set into a seam.
At this point I was able to try on the vest (with my Jyn Erso sweatshirt) and get a pretty good idea of the overall look. I still want to do a bunch of top-stitching both for accent and to help everything lay flat, but even with that I think I'm going to need something to keep the flap over the zipper from coming open.
I looked at a bunch of options for Star Wars-y looking buckles, settled on one I liked the best, then cut the basic size of them out of paper and taped five of them to the outside of the overlap just to get a basic idea of how it would look. I got Jack to weigh in on it too, and we both felt that the buckles were reducing the sleekness of the vest, and weirdly pushing it more towards an Imperial/First Order sort of look. My character isn't an out-and-out rebel, but she doesn't side with the First Order either. I pulled the taped on paper off again, and both Jack and I felt that that was the significantly better look.
But since I knew I still wanted some sort of closures to keep the flap down -- including one at the top left shoulder, that will hang open most of the time, along the lines of Han Solo's and Cassian Andor's shirts (and a bunch of others, this sort of overlap detail shows up frequently all throughout the franchise) and thus be visible where it hangs open.
I ended up finding these slightly unusual looking hooks-and-eyes that I think will provide a nice, nearly invisible look through the torso of the vest, but not look totally out of place on the flap edge that's hanging open. Bix's fitted coat has a similar closure of just barely visible, just slightly odd hooks and eyes, so I feel like I'm in good company there. They should arrive tomorrow, giving me enough time to hopefully get some of the top-stitching done before then.
That top-stitching is the next step, and one of the last things I need to do for this vest project. I want to top-stitch just inside all the finished edges, including the armscyes, and on each side of each of the seams, probably 2-3mm away from the edge and the seamline. That's going to involve getting everything lined up correctly and all the seam allowances lying flat inside the space between the exterior and the lining, but I think the effect will be totally worth it, both for the smoother fit and the subtle visual interest.
After that, I'll have some handsewing to do to invisibly anchor the zipper to the exterior of the overlap panel and to attach the hooks and eyes, once they arrive. The very last thing I'll do on this project is decide if I want a little stand-up half collar that ends somewhere on top of the shoulder, a bit like the one on Jyn Erso's vest.
I'm pretty sure I want a collar like that, the question is just if I need to lower the neckline in the back first, and then how far forward on the shoulder I should bring the collar. Once I've decided on that, I'll cut it out in two layers, lining and exterior, and sew the outside edges together. Then I'll be able to sew the lower edge of the exterior to the back of the neckline, and hand-sew the lining lower edge to fully encase all the raw edges. I did something similar with the Moment vest, and it comes together pretty quickly. I think I should be able to have the vest completely done by this time next week without much trouble. Hopefully.
Alongside working on my vest, I've been continuing to hand-sew the pleated panels onto Jack's jacket. In the tags on my last sewing update, I mentioned that I had about 5" still to go on the first panel. I was in the really annoying section in the middle of the sleeve where I really had to put my whole arm into the sleeve just to pass the needle through, and it was slow-going. I had to make myself push through that annoying section, rather than continue to put it off.
Eventually I worked my way all the way down to the cuff, cut off the excess from the pleated panel, turn under the edges of the lowest pleat, and hand-sew that into place. I am so pleased with how it turned out, but to keep Jack from making jokes about only having one sleeve done (and so that I wouldn't find myself with time to hand-sew and nothing ready to sew), I quickly pushed on to getting the second pleated strip started. I took a bunch of measurements from the finished sleeve and transferred them to the second sleeve, pinned the pleated panel into place, and had Jack try it on just to double-check the placement.
I was able to tear through the upper section of that second panel, between my increased speed and confidence in my method of hand-sewing this, the easy access through the neck side of the jacket, and a couple of long-ass work meetings where I was basically just there to listen in and take notes every now and then. As of posting this, I'm about halfway through with the second panel, and starting to get into that annoying section of the sleeve again.
The effect of the pleated panels on both sleeves is just so cool that I will definitely be getting photos of the jacket on Jack at some point, either on our Disneyland day or during a try-on before that. He's somewhat allergic to photos, but damn it I'm proud of how this looks, and I want to show it off. I've been calling it a 'sewist flex' from the very beginning -- look at what I can do, look at how cool and Star Wars-y it is -- and I'm really looking forward to sending this beauty out into the world in all its epicness.
And I think Jack feels similarly, based on how he's been talking about wearing this jacket all the time once it's done. His whole outfit together (this jacket, cream colored henley shirt with the buttons and bottonholes removed, mustard-y tan moto jeans, hiking boots) looks wonderfully casual Batuu Bound. The effect of the whole thing is Star Wars, but none of the individual pieces feel weird or costume-y. He might not wear those pieces together for anything other than going to Batuu, but each piece paired with something else looks pretty normal. So if Jack is able to get a lot of wear out of this modified jacket, all the better. I know I'll get that burst of sewist pride every time I see him wear it, lol.
#my sewing#Batuu Bounding#Batuu vest#Jack's jacket project#2024 mood#long post#10 days to go and I'm using all my excitement to keep making progress on sewing#also I've started rewatching The Mandalorian if only as a way to take a break from all the Star Wars YouTube videos I've been watching lol#there are still a couple of other tiny details I would like to do if I get time for them. in particular:#finding a way to cover the laces of my Doc Martens and the buckle on my belt#adding a place or two for 'code cylinders' on both my outfit and Jack's (especially since we don't have any other greebles)#breaking out the needle-nose pliers to adjust the length of some earrings that look cool with my outfit but hang just a bit too low#and finally gluing down the wraps on my kyber crystal necklace so I can be confident that the crystal won't fall out at some point at DL#the necklace is really the only one that MUST be done. the rest are entirely nice-to-have but I'm hoping I'll have time#and on that note I should get back to sewing lol
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Bad news for Star Wars action figure enjoyers because I just got the 3.75” Cad Bane figure and while this is what he looks like from the front—
… This is, unfortunately, what he looks like from the back.
They overlooked how things would appear at different angles and gave the guy with the most distinct and intimidating cowboy silhouette the most unflattering sculpt of a duster caboose I’ve ever seen
#So like. I guess if you’re one of those people who keeps them in the box to display you’re fine buuuuuut#heh. butt#Star wars#action figures#cad bane#They could have done a full split coat in the back#They could have made the duster fabric like they do for some other characters’ capes#They could have had both side swept back over the holsters and done better tooling on the folds#Also his face is the one from the live action not the cartoon so. same complaints there as back when I watched TBoBF#Like sure I usually prefer for the most practical effects to be used as possible#But like. you have to be able to deliver on it#And it’s Disney. they’re not lacking in money#They just don’t want to pay the right professionals to do good work#That one guy had that really good edited VFX vid done like a week after the episode#I’m going to see about modding his face to be closer to the original design#Hasbro sculptor: Hey you know who needs to have the look of a flat butt and jessica rabbit hips from the back?#Hasbro sculptor number 2: That guy based off of Angel Eyes from the most famous spaghetti western of all time?#Hasbro sculptor: Yeah that guy. I don’t know what Lee Can Cleef looks like but I’m pretty sure it’s not tall and slim and all angles
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i was scouring the wookieepedia page for armor to find a cool alternative to mando armor, and i just fell down an absolute rabbit hole
girl WHAT. who IS this. naturally, i looked up what the fuck this was from, and i found out it's from a tv movie titled ewoks: the battle for endor (1985), starring warwick davis as wicket w. warrick and some other people who i don't recognize. it's the sequel to another tv movie called caravan of courage: an ewok adventure (1984), also with warwick davis. i vaguely remember seeing some really short clips from this in i believe a yt lore video or video essay? i think i just assumed it was from the holiday special, because there's so much crazy shit in there which i only half remember due to being shitfaced when i watched it forever ago
so, i looked up the trailers out of curiosity. they're both absolutely wild, but i think the sequel's trailer is just a little bit more bananas
i obviously looked up the full movies on youtube, but no dice. i then googled the titles, preparing to look for pirate streaming sites, and then? i realized they're both on disney+
so is my beloved clone wars '03, the story of the faithful wookiee, which i think is taken from the holiday special (?), droids, which i've seen bits of on yt, and the ewoks cartoon, which i know a little bit about only due to quintonreviews. apparently, they've put a lot of this stuff up since 2021, which is the last time i checked the disney's catalog of older star wars content
elated by this discovery, i'm sure you can guess what i searched next on the app
alas, disney are spineless cowards who, despite allowing the ewok duology on their precious prestigious platform AND lifting the wookiee segment straight from the special itself, are far too afraid of the absolute masterpiece that is the og holiday special 😔
#len speaks#star wars#sorry this post is a MESS but i've literally never realized these were their own movies and not just a hazy memory from the holiday special#binge drinking incident of 2019. i'm utterly flabbergasted. i'm gonna put off rewatching r.ots & starting the dreaded ke.nobi show in order#to watch these ASAP. i'll also probably indulge if they're bad-bad rather than good-bad bc a man has to cope somehow#and i have a question for y'all: did y'all know abt these two films? have i been slacking off as a certified obscure sw lore lover? how was#i aware of star wars detours but not this? also. if anyone has any bits of detours which i've heard might be floating around on the#net - PLEASE send me a link. i've already seen everything on yt but i haven't had my fill of psychic damage inducing lvls of cringe yet#anyway. i was going to go back to my search for bangin armor on wookieepedia but i'm getting insanely tired so i'll probs just give it a#rest. that means i also can't watch these movies until at least tomorrow☹ i will 100% keep y'all posted on my thoughts on these films tho!
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attack of the clones is so funny. anakin and padme having their forbidden romance thing, whilst obi wan is conducting a whole investigation then like. shot at. shot at again. captured. attacked by creatures. etc.
#listen i know anakin is also going through it#but like particularly the first bit of the film where we keep going between obi wan investigating (and getting shot at) and anakin and#padmes romance is so funny to me#to be fair they’re all going through it really#more posts that are in my drafts and i need to get rid of#watched a bunch of star wars films on may 4th so this is from then#also got my flat mate back into star wars which i’m very proud of#star wars#sw aotc#ally natters
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🌙 Transgressor Yuri moodboard. 🌙
#{ muse info + headcanons }#/ i think abt him. a lot. so if any of u have a crestoria verse. please. write with me.#let him free. release him into the world.#i am also keeping the lower quarter in this verse generally speaking hence its place here#aaaand also to be clear on the exact weapon in the bottom left it's his Second Star#versus the implication of getting a blood sin weapon on the right#both placed on the sides of the respective relationships bc Second Star#canonically relates to his relationship with flynn and blood sins can only be acquired through vicious#which is perfect bc i intend for yuri to be working with vicious (and kanata and co) indirectly#it all fell together very nicely n_n#and aside from any threads with any vicious-muns since it's not my place to determine how they write their muse with my muse#(and they can do this with me too if agreed upon!) i do plan to have vicious heavily integrated into yuri's story#will also be chaotic and beautiful bc two emotionally intelligent fuck-alls who are here to cause problems on purpose#while also calling themselves the worst possible things ever while continuing to be awesome stand up ppl#also you can't tell me flynn and vicious don't have this lawful versus lawless thing going on here#you don't even need tug o' war when you have tug o' yuri#believe me if i had enough energy to write a damn fic for this verse for yuri and those two i WOULD#feat aegis. bc. the lawless chaotics require their knightly boyfriends for a double date. lots of double dates#the rest of their fucking LIVES will be double dates and they're going to LIKE it. probably. mostly.#anyway namco threw this perfectly wonderful opportunity away and it's mine now im not giving it back >:/
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Sorry for being MIA i went through the entire 'parental miguel o'hara' tag on ao3 and emerged a changed man (with a couple subcriptions heavier)
#dude i feel like my brain is hard wired for mando now because i keep coming back to it even though i can ALSO feel myself getting fixated on#spiderverse. but before it could settle i just go back to the fucking clan of two duo#I CANT BE FREE OF STAR WAR. HELL ON EARTH#hinderr lore
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The Amaxine Station
The latest Crimson Dawn brought back Snokes haunt from The Rise of Kylo Ren. The Amaxine Station. A place that Snoke described as built to be an oasis of light within the shadow.
However, the Archivist, in the past, called it dark. It's already well established at this point, the plants are very well grown if not overgrown. However it is missing the death that TRoKR brings into it.
Why this vastly different view point on what it is? Snoke is a known liar. Is he lying here, is it another manipulation to sway Kylo to the dark side? By trying to say it is a natural state of being?
Or is he being honest, the dark is something that just exists, which is in line with the Knights of Ren view that the Force 'just is'.
Theory time: The next issue of Crimson Dawn will show us the releasing of the being within the Fermata cage (Apparently very dark, and hungry for life energy). Palpatine calls it sith, but is it actually sith or does Palpatine call anything he thinks as 'dark enough', sith? He also apparently had no idea about the existence of this place. Despite it being a dark place (according to the Archivist). In fact, his first preference was to just blow it up with the Archivist on it, but a slight delay makes him change his plans.
We know the Crimson Dawn is going to fail, but to what extent? A lot of people are about the die, and the station takes a battering, judging by its appearance in TRoKR and the amount of bones around.
What if the being inside the cage is released, it is destroyed, but a part of it is kept by Palpatine who can see its uses? What is part of this dark energy being is used to create Snoke, and that's why Snoke is here and why he describes it as a place which he is very fond of? As it's pretty much where he grew up. The beginnings of his fail safe in case his plans with Anakin go awry.
Snoke is already implied to have been created using multiple sources, we have seen what looks like failed attempts at creating Snoke in the Darth Vader comic. What if the Amaxine station is Snokes actual 'birth place' and part of him comes from an ancient being, which fits in with the pre-TLJ theories of Snoke being very old?
And the difference in what the Archivist says about the station and what Snoke says... The Archivist calls it dark, but it's pretty much just a bunch of plants. Is life inherently dark? I think that was implied by Luke before who seemed to believe that babies are all born with some darkness in them, when Leia was worried about Ben, and he himself was not concerned. Snoke even talks about how dark is the natural state of things. Manipulation or no, that matches the Archivists view on the place. Though we still don't know why it was created.
And the big question, why would Palpatine let it continue to exist after the battle, when his original plan was to destroy. His mind completely changed. And much later, Snoke, a being he worked with/had as a puppet, lived there.
Bits of this dark being survived this battle, and Snoke is a fascimile of it. Palpatine finally saw a way to create the sort of being he wanted (Clearly didn't want a straight up powerful clone otherwise why not just clone Anakin or Luke). As far as we know, Snoke was only created to do Palpatines bidding without anyone knowing Palpsy still existed. A big part of that was to get into Kylos mind from birth. His previous clones kept failing. The dark being inside the Fermata cage is the missing piece of Snoke that he needed for it to succeed. Snoke was grown at the Amaxine station to absorb this energy.
The Archivist is telling a story about the Crimson Dawn, but mostly perhaps she is actually telling the story of what led to the creation of Snoke.
(Maybe. I suppose we will find out next month)
#snoke#palpatine#star wars comics#amaxine station#crimson dawn#idk wtf is going on but i am incredibly intrigued#maybe it also leads back to luke skywalker in that hes the one that tried to turn the station into a place of light#to keep snoke contained and thats why kylo seems shocked at what luke 'did to' snoke#as that panel really confuses me. when did snoke and luke meet#why does kylo know about it#and why did snoke not want to talk about it instead of using it to further manipulate kylo
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please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!
gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.
SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:
diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.
non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.
the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.
now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.
if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.
if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.
this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.
it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.
but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.
#I found their original stuff while I was researching various waterhorses and their folklore for no reason#because one of the characters in their original work happens to be an each uisge#and then it turned out it ALSO included a lot of figures from welsh folklore in general#so yknow if you happen to have my incredibly specific hyperfixations you'll love it but even if you don't it's great#I didn't mean to bring up phantom of the opera so much it just happens to be very relevant to a lot of my talking points#I haven't actually seen it in years
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sage & stardust
🌙 starring. Kim Mingyu x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “I think you’re amazing, and good with your hands, and pretty, and I enjoy spending time with you too,” he counters, echoing the entirety of your sentiment. You stare blankly up at the man. It’s clear he doesn’t know what you’re getting at. You wonder how fairies court each other- do they even court each other? Do fairies have sex? Or are they just… you don’t know, blossomed out of flower buds or something?
tw/cw. Unprotected sex, Mingyu holds y/n down by the wrists, size kink, mentions of possible bondage kink, heavy petting, worship, Mingyu is a boobs guy, nipple sucking, fingering, pussy stretching, foreplay, multiple reader orgasms, oral (f receiving), praise, dirty talk, etc… I pet names: (hers) my star. (his) Gyu.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 9.6k
🍭 aus. Fairy au, fantasy au, non idol.
☀️ mlist + an. Okay, so, I’ve written sooo many fics on this blog, and lately I’ve been wanting to try things I haven’t done before. I’ve never done a legit small man fairy dude (who does become normal/large sized later) x yn in a fic before, so bare with me, because these two are such a delightfully domestic pairing. Without further adieu, I give you: blue-collar fairy Mingyu.
Prologue
Pandora lives in a little cottage in the forest. Even though she’s young, she knows the trees and ferns, the mushrooms and flowers. Who needs mundane playthings when you have four entire acres of wilderness to keep you entertained?
Her mother is an artist, and steady hands run in the family. Pandora spends her evenings carefully painting a dollhouse model of the cottage that her father had crafted for her in his little workshop shed outside.
All in all, it’s a peaceful existence, and things are very predictable. Mother is in the studio solarium room, fingers covered in inks and colorful spots. Father is crafting something in his shed, fixing up the house as he engages in an endless war against the elements of the forest.
Pandora flutters around, checking in on her parents, and exploring the immediate grounds around the cottage. Today, she’s following a particularly beautiful butterfly as it glides amongst the trees down by the pond. She’s so enamored with the pretty wings, that she almost doesn’t notice the fairy ring.
A circle of mushrooms, one she’s scouted out before, is along the bank of the murky water. Pandora has heard tales of fairies and pixies, and has been warned not to enter circles like this. She sidesteps the ring, and that’s when she notices something out of place, something that hadn’t been there yesterday.
Just outside of the little circle, is a small creature. At first glance, the glossy wings look butterfly-like, but Pandora has never seen sage green wings like these on a bug. The small child pauses, hiking up her dress and kneeling down to get a better look.
Definitely not a butterfly. Where an insect would have a thorax at the joining of wings, this creature has a tiny little man. Well, he’s bigger than a butterfly would be, but it’s clear to the young girl that she’s looking at a fairy, and as she inspects him further, she notices one of his wings is torn.
Pandora has mended butterfly wings with her father before- she knows what to do, but she’s hesitant. Should she help this small fairy, as she’s helped many bugs before him? Is he simply resting and not in immediate danger?
She looks around, noting any predators in the surrounding area. A large bird circles overhead, and Pandora decides she has to act. Reaching for a leaf, she scoops the tiny fairy's body into the greenery, carefully carrying him back toward the cottage.
As she gets there, she sees her father getting into his work truck to head to town, and Pandora knows better than to stop him. She also knows better than to go interrupt her mother, who is on a deadline for a piece and has asked not to be disturbed.
No, Pandora will have to do this rescue mission herself, and she heads into her father’s workshop to find the glue.
She does her best to be gentle, even with her pudgy fingers, as she mends the torn wing. When she’s done, Pandora finds one of the many small boxes her father has made. It’s a cedar box, with a small, iron latch.
Leaving the fairy, she goes outside, collecting a little nest of moss to put into the box.
When everything is finished, she sets the fairy into the box, carefully closing it and latching it shut. He needs some rest, and as far as the small child is concerned, he’s safer in her little box than lying in the grass where big predators might hurt him.
One:
“I’m sure it’s no surprise that your grandmother left you the cottage,” the lawyer in charge of the estate tells you as he looks over the papers on his desk. “As you are the only artist in the family, Pandora wrote that she hopes the solace will inspire, as it had inspired her, and her mother before her.”
You nod solemnly. It’s a monumental gift, one your cousins would kill you for- but alas, you’d spent the most time with your grandmother in her later days, and the solarium studio is already set up as your own. To be young, and a homeowner now- this had never been your intention in spending time with her, but perhaps it’s a happy outcome, given the dire situation of her passing.
“She also wanted me to tell you, that you can finally open the box.” The lawyer looks at you expectantly, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Do you know what she was referring to?”
“Yes,” you respond. “She’d kept this small cedar box. Her father had made it for her when she was a child. It’s on her nightstand, but she’s never opened it.”
“Well, that’s… interesting.”
“Yeah, Pandora’s Box, I know the story,” you let out a sad chuckle. “Part of me doesn’t want to open it, she always told me not to, I guess I made it this big bad thing in my head as a kid.”
“I’m sure it’s just jewelry or something of the sort,” the lawyer assures you, and you remind yourself that men of the law are never the superstitious type.
Two:
You’re a few glasses deep into your bottle of wine, and you find yourself looking at your grandmother’s small cedar box. Curiosity is getting the better of you, and liquid courage is doing wonders to calm your superstitions.
There can’t be anything dangerous in the box, or your grandma wouldn’t have left it for you… right?
Taking a breath, you approach the box. It’s sitting on your dining room table, you’d gingerly carried it from the bedroom earlier, with the intention of opening it, and now, you will.
You sit, staring at it for a few moments. Your hands shake when you reach for it, but you push away your anxiety. The iron latch is old and worn, but it clicks open after a bit of work. Taking another deep breath, you lift the cedar lid.
Nothing happens, no surge of dark spirits releasing the worst of humanity, no hurricane or pestilence-
You lean forward, looking into the box, and you’re shocked by what you find there.
Half buried in a nest of mossy greens that looked like they were only picked hours ago, is a small winged man. It’s a fairy, you realize, with glossy wings-
He stirs a little, stretching his arms above his head and yawning.
How could this be? Ignoring the moss that’s apparently been preserved for over seventy years, how is this tiny creature still alive after being shut away for a lifetime?
Part of you wants to close the box, to forget about it- but then the tiny man’s eyes open, and he stares up at you. You freeze immediately, as if paralyzed, your mind going blank in the face of the supernatural.
The fairy rubs his eyes, sitting up amongst the bed of moss. His hair is all messy, but in a way that’s kind of adorable. He gazes up at you, and then, he speaks. “Hello?”
“Hi?” It comes out a question, and you’re unsure how to proceed, so you say nothing else.
“Sorry, this is embarrassing,” he laughs, and you note the way his skin has turned pink. “Did you save me?”
“As horrible as this sounds, I uh… inherited you?”
“I don’t even know what that means,” the tiny man muses. “I remember being attacked by a large bird in my realm, my wing was damaged, I made my way to a fairy ring to come to your world and recuperate, but I must have passed out.”
You consider his words for a moment. “My grandma used to fix butterfly wings, is it possible she found you and fixed yours?”
The fairy extends one of his sage appendages, inspecting it. “It definitely looks repaired… Your grandma, you said?”
“Yes.” You nod. “I was told she’d had this box since she was a girl… have you been in here for a long time?”
“I was in hibernation, the dark and the moss- it was healing, I awoke because of the light.”
“So you have been in there for years,” you conclude, shocked. “I’m… I’m so sorry.”
“How many years is ‘years?’ You humans have a different view of time than I do.”
“Probably seventy or eighty?” you suggest.
“It didn’t feel like that long.” He cocks his head to the side, clearly thinking, then he looks up at you again. “How long have you had me?”
“I uh…” you swallow thickly at the question. “Well, I just inherited the cottage, and my grandma left the box to me in her will too… so, only two days.”
He nods, looking down, continuing to think hard about whatever it is that fairies ponder deeply on.
“How… how do you feel?”
“Well rested,” he smiles, breaking the look of deep concentration. “I’m ready to get back to tinkering.”
Tinkering… that definitely sounds like a fairy word, and you don’t question him further.
“Please don’t let me stop you from getting back to your home,” you tell him. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience of my grandmother keeping you in this box all this time.”
“It’s alright,” he yawns again, then pushes himself up from the moss. He’s dressed in a little green fairy outfit, and you do your best to commit him to your memory. His wings are truly beautiful, the way they shimmer even in the electric light of your kitchen. “I remember a pond.”
“Yes, there’s one right out the back way, must be a fairy circle there,” you nod.
“Thank you for the directions,” he smiles sincerely, and then, he begins to fly. You wonder how such delicate-looking wings could carry his body weight as he heads toward your open kitchen window. He lands on the ledge there, turning to give you one final nod of farewell, and then the fairy is gone.
You sit there for a few minutes, staring after him in shock.
How much wine did you have to drink?
Three:
It’s a Thursday like any other. You’re getting used to living in this cute cottage in the woods, spending your mornings waking up with the sun, heating a kettle for tea, and letting the creative juices flow in your mind before you ease your way to the studio to paint.
It’s the end of spring, and the promise of summer warmth is looming on the horizon.
You’re just beginning to contemplate breakfast when there’s a knock at your door, and it makes your heart freeze in your chest.
Although you might be getting somewhat accustomed to the seclusion, there are still very real dangers of being a single woman out on a large property alone in the woods, and this fact makes you hesitant as you head to your front door.
You can make out a large man through the glass, and you take a breath before peaking your head out. “Hello?”
It takes you a moment to recognize the man, as he’s substantially larger than the last time you saw him. The fairy is no longer palm-sized, instead, he’s well over six foot, and he flashes an awkward smile down at you. “Hi.”
You take in his attire, the worn jeans and the green flannel… you also note that he’s barefooted. “You’re wearing my grandpa's clothes.”
“Yeah, I uh… noticed the box in your truck, figured you might be getting rid of them anyways, so I slipped in through a crack in the window. I couldn’t just show up naked.”
Good point. “You’re big now,” you point out.
“Can I uh… can I come in?” He rubs the back of his neck nervously, surveying your front porch.
You take a breath. Part of you says this is a bad idea, but part of you is also saying that this is a fairy the size of a human man, and if you don’t hear him out, you’ll be wondering what could have been for the rest of your life.
You push your door open for him. “I just made some tea, follow me.”
The fairy’s footsteps are loud on your wooden floors as he shadows you to the kitchen. You give him your cup, pouring a second one for yourself before leaning back against your sink.
“I don’t even know where to start,” the fairy sighs, taking a seat at your small dining table. He cups his large hands around the mug of tea, as if warming himself.
“Well, I’m y/n,” you tell him.
He smiles thankfully. “Mingyu.”
“Nice to meet you again, Mingyu, how about you tell me how you’re human-sized and your wings are gone?”
“Fairies can transform. In my own realm, keeping my smaller shape is easier, but here- it takes less energy to just… blend in. It’s a sort of, um, adaptation, for survival, I guess.”
“It doesn’t make sense how you can go from tiny to massive,” you point out.
“Well, you see, I’m big for a fairy,” Mingyu laughs nervously. “It’s part of the reason I never fit in that well with others of my kind.”
You frown at his words, giving him the space to continue.
“Yeah, so anyways, I went back home, and I had been gone a while, and it just felt weird. I hadn’t fit in before, and I didn’t fit in when I got back, and I guess I just figured… you’re a girl, and you’re here alone, in the forest- I mentioned I’m a tinkerer right? I fix things? Was thinking maybe I could help fix up your place.”
Is he seriously offering to fix your house? You stare at him in shock. “I’ve never really thought about fairies being blue-collared.”
“Blue-collared?” he looks down at his flannel in confusion.
“Never mind, it’s uh, it’s a phrase, it means you’re a worker, you do building and stuff.”
“I’m really good at building and fixing things,” he nods solemnly.
“So… you want to stay here with me? Room, board, food… in return, you’ll fix up the cottage?” you clarify.
“I guess.”
You study him. “I’ve heard about pixies and fairies who try to lure people into fairy rings-”
“It’s not like that, I promise.” He meets your gaze. “Look, what if I fix your little shed workshop thing, show you what I can do, and you can decide later?”
You consider it for a moment. “I guess that could work, but first, you’ll need some workboots.”
“If you think that’s best.”
God, he probably does most of his tinkering while fairy-sized and barely wearing clothes… which isn’t something you want to think about.
Setting your tea down, you head to one of the back closets, where you’d stashed away a few of your grandfather’s possessions, the important things, unlike the donation box currently in your truck.
You find Mingyu some shoes, and when you go give them to him, he flashes you a smile and heads outside to get to work.
Four:
You’re doing your best to focus on painting, but your solarium gives you a perfect view of your grandfather's old work shed, where Mingyu is currently tinkering around.
He’s fast, and it’s clear he knows what he’s doing.
Your grandfather’s shed has a whole stash of tools, shingles, and wood, and Mingyu has already redone the roof, ripped a few worn boards off to replace them along the sides, and completed general tidying work.
He’s even weed-whacked the tall grass around the workstation, and as lunch turns into evening, he comes back from the woods with a small tree on his shoulder, which he then begins to chop for firewood.
You can definitely see how he’d be helpful to have around… and you can afford to feed him if he’s going to fix up your home. He’s probably already done a couple hundred dollars of work, maybe even a thousand- work that you’d been meaning to hire someone to deal with once you’d settled in a little more.
You get started on dinner. You’d planned on rice bowls, and it’s easy enough to make a plate for him. Then, you go outside, calling him toward you.
Mingyu’s sweaty, and he’s got some sawdust on his jeans- but God, does he look handsome and chipper.
“I made dinner,” you tell him.
He nods, smiling before following you inside. You note the way he takes off his boots at your door, brushing off his pants, careful not to bring any dirt into your otherwise tidy house.
The two of you sit down to eat, and he’s extremely verbal about how thankful he is for the food, and how good it tastes-
You come up with an avenue of discussion to distract him from his praises. “What would you living here entail?”
He pauses. “I hadn’t thought too hard about it.”
“I feed you, you do work, you live here?”
“Something like that.”
“How long do you keep your human shape?”
Mingyu takes a breath, setting down his spoon. “I’ll be honest with you, whether you see it this way or not, your grandmother saved me. I was wounded, I came to your realm, anything could have gotten me, but your grandma saved me, glued my wing, and kept me safe so I could hibernate and heal. I owe your family. My home isn’t my home anymore, please let me help you make this cottage your home.”
“No, I-” you release the tension in your shoulders, “you can stay, but, seriously, how long do you keep your human shape?”
“Is it a space thing?” Mingyu looks around. “I can be small when I sleep if it’s a space thing-”
“I mean, my grandma has a replica doll house of the cottage that her dad made for her, was going to offer that up for you.” It’s meant to be a joke, but Mingyu takes it completely seriously, nodding diligently.
“That works, I just have to go collect some moss to make a bed-”
“Are you being for real?” you ask, blinking at him.
“I should probably go back to my normal size when I sleep, it makes sense and takes up less space,” Mingyu nods.
“If you change your mind, I do have a spare bedroom.”
“Nope,” the man-sized fairy shakes his head, “the doll house works.”
“Well… if you want to go get some moss, I can grab the box of clothes from my truck,” you suggest.
“Let’s do it.” Mingyu is so easy, he just agrees to everything.
Soon the two of you are reconvening at your front door, you with a box, him with a palm full of moss. “The doll house is in the studio, I was planning to paint it.” Mingyu follows you to the solarium. In the dark of the evening, you have to turn on the fairy lights you’d strung up, and Mingyu lets out a breath.
Even you have to admit the space has ambiance. The solarium studio is a lovely part of the house, your favorite in fact, although, tonight, you’re feeling a little shy about your art strewn about.
“Did you paint all of these?” Mingyu asks, approaching your most recent work.
“Yeah, they’re uh, abstracts,” you explain. “I mean, I gather a lot of inspiration from nature, but it’s more a feeling than a specific thing that I like to paint, if that makes any sense.”
“It does,” Mingyu nods, leaning down to get a better look at your art.
“My grandma, she uh, she was an artist too, and so was her mother, and she gave me the house because she knew I needed inspiration-”
“Maybe that’s why she gave you me too.”
Your heart lurches in your chest, and you blink up at the tall man. “Uh… maybe.”
“So this cottage has a long line of artists and tinkerers,” Mingyu concludes.
“The line ended in my mother’s generation,” you sigh.
“That’s not true.” Mingyu looks down at you. “We’re here now.”
Five:
You wake up feeling as refreshed and well-rested as ever. It’s odd how much of a difference having a male presence in the house can make, even if he was the size of your palm while you were sleeping.
You’ve been here over a month, but you’ve not yet gotten used to the seclusion, the feeling of being alone. Mingyu is an unexpected comfort, and you quietly tiptoe to your solarium to see if he’s awake.
The nest of moss in the dollhouse is empty, and you move to your kitchen, getting a kettle started before looking out the window. Mingyu’s lumbering around in the tree line. He’s dressed in a white shirt and blue jeans, and damn does it look good.
You turn on some music, quietly making breakfast for two while trying to fight the urge to watch the beautiful man.
You’d slept in more than normal, another byproduct of feeling safe, and due to that, by the time you’re taking two plates of food outside, the temperature of the late spring air is already warming with the noon sun.
“Mingyu,” you call, finding him by the workshed, “breakfast!”
He bounds over like a puppy, and you set the plates down on a small circular table. The metal lawn set can be a bit rough, and you’ve tried to soften it with comfy pillows. Mingyu doesn’t seem to mind as he plops down, grabbing the bacon sandwich you’d prepared.
“Smells delicious,” he tells you, taking the largest bite of food you’ve ever seen.
You watch him, amused. “Did you get up early?”
“Yeah, I don’t need much sleep. Just spent eighty years sleeping, or so you tell me.” Mingyu smiles at you, a tight-lipped smile to hide the food in his mouth, you’re sure.
“It’s a nice day,” you sigh, leaning back in your chair and looking at the world around you.
The sun is out, it’s a little cold, but the sky is clear. Dew drops are in the last stages of evaporation, clinging to the green strands of grass along the hillside area that leads down to the pond.
“Every day is a good day for tinkering,” Mingyu agrees. “Which, I meant to ask- is there anything you wanted me to do?”
“Uh… like what?”
“I’ll finish the shed soon,” Mingyu promises. “I already have ideas about extending it, but, if you wanted me to paint the house, fix anything inside that’s a little wonky and in need of tinkering-”
“I think you should focus on the shed, if you want to extend it, you should.” For some reason, you’re apprehensive about him coming into the house just yet- you need to… acclimatize to his presence, and right now, having a wall of glass between the two of you is keeping your heart from exploding every time you look at him. “Do you uh… do you need anything to build your addition?”
“Your grandfather kept a lot of tools, nails, screws- and we’re surrounded by trees. He had loads of extra shingles, enough for years of repairs to the cottage and the shed.” Mingyu smiles at you. “I think I’ll manage… but, when it comes time to paint it, maybe we could paint it together?”
“Maybe.” You can feel your skin heating at the idea. “Anyways, I wanted to bring you some food, now I’ve gotta go inside my studio and get to work.”
“Sounds good, tinkering calls, thanks for breakfast.” Mingyu pushes the last massive bite of his sandwich into his mouth before standing up.
He nods to you and then you watch him go, sneaking a look at his butt before you tear your eyes away.
This could either be the best idea of your life, or the worst.
Six:
Mingyu had taken his time with the shed. He’d made it twice the size, and added more windows that your grandfather had left sitting around in the original structure- it’s crazy how much he’s accomplished using only the things that are left over and semi discarded.
Then, Mingyu had taken to restoring the inside. He’d spent two days just moving stuff around, tidying and dusting- and another day just cutting wood to fill up his firewood stash.
Now, a week after showing up at your door, he’s finally come inside to begin tinkering with old hinges and loose screws. He’s going over every inch of your cottage to make sure it’s up to his fairy standards, and you’re extremely aware of him, especially when he makes it to the solarium to begin to work.
The french doors have been a little off for years, one hinge is a little wonky- and it’s hard to focus on your painting while Mingyu’s standing there and fiddling- or, scratch that, tinkering.
“Watcha working on?” Mingyu asks, and you suppose he must have caught you staring.
“Oh, uh… it’s a new project, and starting is always the hardest part.”
Mingyu comes around your easel, looking at the new blank canvas you had pulled out just an hour ago.
“Do you have any ideas?” he questions.
“I mean… one or two.”
Mingyu cocks his head at you. “Tell me.”
You release a deep sigh. “I guess… I was wondering if maybe… maybe I could paint your wings sometime, in an abstract sort of way.”
Mingyu is quiet for a few moments, and you immediately try to backpedal, but he stops you. “No, it’s okay, sorry, I was just- I’ve never been someone’s muse before.”
“You haven’t?”
He shakes his head. “In uh… where I come from, my wings aren’t exactly that extraordinary.”
“Really?” you ask in shock.
“Yeah, they’re just green. I know a lot of fairies with all sorts of colored wings, pinks, purples- every color of the rainbow. Green is… well, it’s bland, it’s like everything else in the forest.”
You can’t believe what you’re hearing. “You seem to forget that I came to the forest for inspiration- the greens here are beautiful. If I remember correctly, your wings are like… sage and stardust.”
“Sage and stardust,” Mingyu repeats, his voice like a whisper. He cracks a smile. “I like that.”
“So you’ll let me paint them?”
“If it would make you happy.”
“It would.”
“Then yes, you can paint by wings.”
Seven:
Mingyu’s continued his daily tinkerings, but now, your evenings are spent in your solarium. You’d found one of your grandmother’s magnifying glasses, the type she used for butterfly wing repair, and Mingyu is the perfect muse, sitting patiently and letting you inspect him.
You’d spent half an hour just trying to get the color of his wings right, and now, you’re doing long brush strokes against the cream canvas. You’d found some glitter too, and while Mingyu spends most of the time sitting on your shoulder while you’re painting, he also offers to douse his hands in sparkles and do the small details for you.
It’s odd, thirsting for this large, beefy man during the day, only for him to downsize and nuzzle into your hair at night- he’s still so cute as a fairy, and his wings are truly beautiful.
“You see me like this?” Mingyu asks, fluttering off your shoulder to gaze at the painting. He’s so small in comparison to the large canvas. “These are really my wings?”
“They’re beautiful, Gyu,” you tell him, giving him a nickname without a second thought.
“Gyu,” Mingyu repeats, turning to look at you. “I like that.”
You hold out your paint brush, and he flutters over to it, balancing on the wooden handle.
It’s crazy how you’re already getting used to him- to the little things, Mingyu included.
Eight:
It’s gotten to the point where Mingyu wants to paint the shed, so the two of you decide to head into town together. It’s a small population, and you know that the sight of the two of you is raising a few eyebrows as you enter the paint store.
Mingyu sticks out, not only for his size, but his beauty as well. He truly is stunning, and you notice multiple women staring as the two of you wander around the store.
“So what coloring are you thinking?” Mingyu asks, heading to a wall of paint swatches.
“I mean… I just sort of figured we’d repaint it to match the house again?” you suggest.
“Well… it’s your house now,” Mingyu points out. “What are your dream colors?”
“My dream colors?”
“Yeah, I promised you I’d help you make it your dream home, didn’t I?”
Your heart melts as you stare up at this gorgeous man. He has such a soft heart, you can’t believe how much you care for him after only two weeks, how much he clearly cares for you- but you try not to read into it too deeply.
You turn to look at the paint swatches, truly considering what your dream home would look like.
You choose a pallet, showing it to Mingyu, and he nods. “This will be great.”
The two of you go to get the paint, and soon, you’re back in your truck. You try to play the radio, but it doesn’t drown out your thoughts, so you turn the music down.
“Did you notice how many people were looking at you today?” you ask.
“Hmm?” Mingyu tears his gaze from the trees moving by.
“Girls, a lot were staring.”
“Were you staring?”
You flash a glimpse at Mingyu and find him grinning at you… is there a mutual attraction here? Does he like you the way you like him?
Things are just so easy. Choosing paint with him for your house, letting him make your house your dream house- it all just feels so domestic, not to mention the fact that you generally don’t like people watching you work on your art, but you feel comfortable with him.
“I, uh… yeah, I look at you, we’re friends.” You cough, forcing your eyes back to the road.
“Close friends,” Mingyu confirms.
You turn the radio back up, and Mingyu looks out at the trees again, but he doesn’t stop smiling, and your heart doesn’t stop racing either.
Nine:
It’s hard to sleep. You can’t help but think about the car ride with Mingyu earlier.
He has to be attracted to you… right?
He’s been more touchy during your late-night painting sessions, and less afraid to cuddle up in your hair. You’ve noticed him watching you too… often when you look at him, you catch his gaze already on you.
Cohabitation with a man as fine as he is- well, you know where it leads, and you’re a little shocked you’ve gotten this far without breaking first.
You toss and turn in your bed, groaning.
God, when was the last time you were this horny?
Can you… can you touch yourself with him right downstairs? Is that weird? What if he catches you? Mingyu said it himself, he doesn’t sleep much- and… is his hearing better as a fairy? You don’t actually know much about his abilities when he has wings… maybe these are things you should ask.
You let out a sigh, bringing your hand to your breast through your sleeping shirt. In no time at all, your nipple is pebbled against your touch. You release another breath, closing your eyes and thinking about Mingyu.
You search through your memories, deciding to focus on the thought of him chopping wood. God, in his little tank top, his muscles all bulging and glorious- the way his sweat begins to drip, making the fabric stick to his skin, showing off his abdominal muscles-
You can feel your pussy getting wet, and you begin to glide a hand down between your legs-
You stop, opening your eyes. Fuck, you can’t do this. It feels dirty, sinful- and not in a fun flirty way.
This isn’t something that you can continue with- you can’t keep feeling this way. You have to tell Mingyu how you feel. If it ruins everything then it ruins everything, but you can’t keep this cohabitation agreement up if you’re falling in love with the man- or, should you say, fairy.
God, maybe you should have never opened Pandora’s Box. It wasn’t a flurry of chaos, not one you could see anyway, but you’re beginning to feel chaotic inside, and coming clean to Mingyu is the only way to get it settled.
Ten:
When you wake up the next morning, you move slowly. You have a shower, make some tea, and then, after going through an internal script numerous times, you decide to go outside to tell Mingyu how you feel.
He’s been painting the shed all morning, that much is obvious from how much he’s completed- and to make matters worse for yourself, he’s shirtless.
You almost turn and go right back inside, but instead, you pull up your big girl panties, taking a few deep breaths.
You have to do this, you’ll regret it if you don’t- just as you knew you’d regret it if you hadn’t let Mingyu inside a few weeks ago to hear him out.
“Gyu?” you call.
“Oh, hi!” he waves, and you watch paint splatter everywhere from the brush in his hand. “Oops!”
God, he’s so- he’s so- he’s a big dork, in the best way possible.
You watch Mingyu wipe his hand across his abdomen, clearing the splatter stain there. “Had to take my shirt off, painting isn’t my strong suit sometimes,” he explains, putting the brush back into the can before he approaches you. “What’s up?”
Suddenly, everything you’d planned to say to him just disappears from your mind.
“Are you thirsty?” you ask, voice cracking.
“Could use some water,” he nods.
“Come inside,” you instruct, tearing your gaze away from Mingyu’s perfect body to lead him back into your cottage.
He follows you like a good boy, taking his boots off on your deck before joining you in the kitchen where you have a cup of water waiting for him.
Your hand is practically shaking as you give him the cup, and he looks you up and down, an expression of concern appearing on his face. “You alright?”
“Yeah.” You swallow thickly, shaking your head. “Just… a little jittery.”
“Is there something on your mind?” Mingyu questions, taking a sip of his water.
God, he’s still shirtless, and it’s as if he doesn’t even realize it! It’s as if being half naked in your kitchen is the most normal thing in the world to him!
You take a deep breath, doing your best to hype yourself up. “I like you,” you say finally.
“I like you too,” Mingyu grins.
“No, I… I like like you.”
“Like like?” he repeats, cocking his head to the side in confusion.
“As in… I think you’re really amazing and good with your hands, and you’re handsome, and I enjoy spending time with you,” you blurt.
“I think you’re amazing, and good with your hands, and pretty, and I enjoy spending time with you too,” he counters, echoing the entirety of your sentiment.
You stare blankly up at the man. It’s clear he doesn’t know what you’re getting at. You wonder how fairies court each other- do they even court each other? Do fairies have sex? Or are they just… you don’t know, blossomed out of flower buds or something?
“Mingyu,” you take another very deep breath, stepping closer to him. “I feel for you, in here.” You put your hand over his heart, looking up at him, searching his brown eyes for some form of recognition, of understanding.
Mingyu’s lips part, and his gaze shifts to your hand, then, he slowly places his own over yours. His palm is warm, and he squeezes you gently. “Are you saying you love me?” he asks.
You blink… it feels like he’s skipping a few steps here. You love him as a friend, and you’re attracted to him, but you’re not… in love with him, not yet anyway.
“I-” You swallow thickly and decide to just be honest. “I think… things could be heading that way, with some more time.”
“More time?” Mingyu frowns a little. “Humans can be weird.”
“We can?” you laugh. “What’s love like for you?”
“Fairies don’t do anything halfway. We feel intensely, more so than humans I think.”
“Have you…” you cough. “Have you ever been in love before?”
“No.”
“So… how do you know what you’re feeling right now is love?”
“I know it because I would do anything for you. Just being near you makes me happy. I want to protect you, and provide for you- I’d give up my wings for you. I choose you over any of my own kind, because you understand me and accept me better than my own kind. I don’t need anyone else but you.”
You don’t know what to say, so you choose not to say anything. Instead, you get on your tiptoes, pressing your lips to his own.
Mingyu freezes for a moment, but then he reciprocates, wrapping his arms around your body to pull you tight to his chest.
It’s a slow kiss, an exploratory one. It’s soft and gentle and every good thing, but you get the sense you’re going to have to lead the build-up of this. After a few kisses, you lick at his lower lip, and Mingyu responds by opening his mouth, allowing you to deepen the experience.
His hands grab your hips, and Mingyu pushes you backward until your bum hits the counter, then he lifts you onto it, prompting you to wrap your legs around his hips.
As you kiss him, there’s a small voice in the back of your mind reminding you that this is a fairy. His original form is small… but as he grinds against you, you realize that what’s inside his pants right now is anything but tiny.
God, he feels so good- and he’s already shirtless, which gives you the perfect opportunity to graze your hands along his body, teasing the muscle you find there. Mingyu shivers from the contact, breaking the kiss.
He presses his forehead against yours, breathing deeply, and you can feel his heart racing under your palm.
“Do you want to do this? Even though you don’t love me the way I love you?” He asks.
“I want this, and I do love you Mingyu, I just…”
“You need more time,” he sighs.
“I think… do you remember how you said eighty years felt fast in the box for you? I feel like, you just move faster than I do, and that’s not a bad thing, it’s just… something we have to adjust for.”
“Adjust how?” Mingyu questions, looking down at you as his hands grip your hips harder.
You shrug. “Maybe you’ll just have to be patient with me.”
“Do I have to wait to say ‘I love you’ since you’re waiting?”
You smile up at him. “You can do anything that feels right, Mingyu.”
“This feels right,” Mingyu muses, pulling you closer to the edge of the table so he can grind his denim-clad cock against your core.
“Then do this,” you whisper, cupping his cheek and drawing his lips back to yours.
Mingyu doesn’t fight it, in fact, he melts into the kiss, and then, his hands are grabbing your thighs and he’s lifting you up.
You grip his strong shoulders, releasing a small squeal of shock- but you refuse to break the kiss as he begins to carry you through your cottage. He knows where your bedroom is, and it’s sweet that he wants your first time to be on an actual mattress- you’d half expected him to bend you over in your kitchen and have his way with you right there, but you suppose that’s not really his style.
You still have so much more to learn about Mingyu, and you’re excited to take your time learning it.
Mingyu lays you down gently on your bed, and his lips move to your throat. His hands find yours, and your fingers intertwine as he sucks on your sweet spot, making you moan and writhe against the bed beneath him.
“Fuck,” you groan, brows furrowing from the pleasure already coursing through you.
Mingyu grins against your throat, and then he begins to descend.
You’re wearing a sleeping shirt and boxers, and Mingyu’s hand is sneaking up the oversized fabric. “Can I take this off you?” he asks, pulling away and swallowing thickly, his gaze fixed on your covered chest.
You nod, but instead of forcing him to do it, you push on your wrist confines, prompting Mingyu to let you go so you can sit up, tearing the shirt off. You’re not wearing a bra, and Mingyu’s pupils blow at the sight.
He leans down, pressing his lips to yours again as he helps you back down to the bed. You relax against the duvet, enjoying the sensation of your bare chests rubbing against each other. Your nipples are pebbled from interest, and each brush of him against you feels like magic, especially when he begins to swivel his hips, grinding down against your pussy.
His mouth begins to move down again, and this time, there’s no fabric to stop him in his tracks. Mingyu’s lips wrap around your nipple, your fingers threading through his hair as you fight the urge to arch your back and moan like a whore in heat.
“Feels good,” you tell him, earning a groan from the large man who sucks on your pebbled bud even harder.
His free hand is on your hip, but soon, it’s rising to massage your neglected breast. His warm palm feels so good- your eyes close in pleasure, your body reacting to Mingyu and the foreplay he’s providing.
You thread your fingers deeper into his curls, gently massaging his scalp while he works you up, teasing you in the best possible way.
He’s clearly solely focused on you, you don’t think there’s an ulterior motive, a motive of getting you to beg or forcing you to wait, you think he’s simply enjoying you, and you love the feeling of being enjoyed in this way.
Even so- now it’s your patience that’s running thin, and you tug at his curls, forcing his mouth away from your breast. He looks up at you with confusion, lips parting in a silent question.
“I need you,” you tell him, swallowing thickly.
“You have me,” he assures you with a laugh.
“I mean-”
His hand slips between your thighs, rubbing your pussy through your boxers. “You mean, you need me here,” Mingyu finishes for you.
Fuck, he’s so hot- part of you had expected him to be a virgin fairy who’s never been in love, but it’s clear from his dirty talk that he’s no virgin.
Your pussy is wet, and you can feel a wet spot to match in your shorts, you’re sure Mingyu can feel it too.
“Since…” Mingyu takes a breath, and you can see his skin beginning to flush a pretty shade of pink, “since I’m the one who likes you more, maybe you’ll let me take my time and do what I want to do? Out of… pity?”
You laugh. “Pity? I don’t pity you- I kind of love you, Gyu, I said that-”
“Just kind of, though,” he points out, leaning down to bite your nipple gently.
You groan, arching your back and taking a deep breath. “Fine. Do whatever you want to me. Take your time. Worship me. Make me fall in love with you.”
Mingyu smiles, and then he whispers a soft, “Thank you,” before diving back toward your chest.
It’s clear that now that you’ve given him permission, he’s in no rush.
He worships your breasts, just like you’d told him to, taking all the time he wants to massage and lick and kiss and bite- and then, one of his hands returns between your legs, pushing your boxers to the side so he can access your dripping pussy.
He’s gentle at first, circling your sensitive clit and teasing your slit up and down. Then, after too much teasing for your tastes, he eases his finger into your tight hole. He’s gentle as he begins to finger fuck you, working you open at a snail's pace-
You think, as someone who time moves fast for, he really must be savoring every long moment of this. He wants to take his time with you, and for a fairy, that means something.
Mingyu’s lips are still wrapped around your nipple, and as he adds a second digit to your core, you think you might just combust.
“Gyu,” you whimper.
He hums in response.
“I’m close,” you tell him, beginning to wiggle your hips against his hand. “I’m so close-”
Mingyu’s palm finds your clit, and he finger fucks you harder, crooking his digits to reach a spot that has your toes curling.
“Oh my god-” you groan, closing your eyes and latching onto Mingyu’s hair as an anchor, keeping his face buried in your tits as he works you closer and closer to the edge-
One graze of his teeth across your nipple has you cumming on his fingers, and Mingyu releases his own sound of pleasure to echo the whimpers escaping your lips.
He’s got you pinned to the bed, there’s nowhere to go, nothing to do except take what he’s giving you.
He works you through your high, allowing you to feel every lick of pleasure as it courses through your entire body-
You’re a gasping mess at the end of it, and Mingyu gingerly removes his fingers from your pussy, pulling away from your chest to sit up on his knees, licking his digits clean as he inspects you carefully.
“Are you okay, my star?”
You shiver at the nickname, a whispered echo of your pleasure running through you.
“Yeah,” you nod, still trying to catch your breath.
“Was that good for you?” he asks, teasing his wet finger across your nipple and making you shiver again. “It was good for me.”
“It was so good,” you groan, shifting against the bed.
“Good.” Mingyu hooks his fingers in your boxers, tearing them down your legs.
You’re now completely bare for him, and you expect Mingyu to work on his jeans next, but he doesn’t. He lays down between your thighs, looking up at you as he peppers your skin with chaste kisses.
“Ready for more?” he questions.
You groan, and the groan turns into a laugh. “I guess I told you to do whatever you want to me,” you sigh, adjusting your legs so your feet are flat and your knees are bent, giving him better access to your pussy for what you know is about to come next.
“You did.” Mingyu’s breath is hot against your still pulsing core, and you grab at the duvet in preparation, knowing he’s about to completely rock your world for a second time.
Mingyu doesn’t say anything else, he continues to kiss up your thigh, and he doesn’t stop. When he reaches your core, he licks your clit gently, circling it.
You open your eyes, looking down at him to find his own lids are closed. He’s completely focused on pleasuring you, and as he pushes his tongue into your core, lapping at your slit- well, fuck, no thoughts are going through your mind.
You can only whimper, grabbing the duvet tighter, your toes curling deliciously as this man eats you out in a way that no man ever has.
He really is taking his time. It’s clear this isn’t just a duty or a ‘task’ he has to complete in order to fuck you, no, eating you out is as much his pleasure as it is yours, and somehow, that knowledge makes it even better.
You give yourself to the pleasure. There’s no anxiety, no racing thoughts, or pressures you’re imposing on yourself.
You know there’s not a time limit. Mingyu’s not eager to make you cum so he can fuck you, he’s simply enjoying the act of licking your pussy- so you simply enjoy it too.
You’re not keeping track of time, your focus is solely on the pleasure running through you, and the way it’s building.
Soon, you’re at the edge again, and you warn Mingyu, your thighs twitching around his head.
Mingyu groans in response, lips wrapping around your clit. A squeal escapes you, your chest heaving, back arching off the bed as your second orgasm slams into you.
This one is even more electric than the first, and it almost feels like you’re floating off the mattress- like you’re truly ascending to cloud nine, as if you - like Mingyu - have wings.
God, there’s not a feeling like it in the world, especially as Mingyu continues to suck your clit, working you through the most intense high of your entire life. Your legs are fully quaking around him now, your grip like a vice on the duvet.
Thank God you live in the middle of nowhere because you’re aware that you’re being loud.
Mingyu’s groaning too, his fingers digging into your thighs, keeping you pinned and in place for him to eat you through the pussy contracting pleasure convulsions that are threatening to overtake your entire body in an ecstasy you’ve never, ever experienced before.
The large man finally lets up, and you gasp, flopping back down against the bed. There are aftershocks of pleasure, and you jolt a little, goosebumps erupting on your flesh from the sensation.
You feel the bed shift, and you look from under heavy lids to see Mingyu standing at the foot of the mattress, finally taking off his jeans.
Fuck, he’s huge- maybe foreplay wasn’t so much of a want, as a necessity.
“You still want me?” Mingyu asks, joining you on the bed again, his breath hot against your throat as he grinds down against you, teasing his cock against your dripping pussy.
“Fuck, I need you,” you tell him.
Mingyu kisses you then, grabbing your hands and putting them above your head. He collects your wrists in one grip, and with his free hand, he grabs his cock, lining it up with your core.
“If it hurts-”
“You’ve made me cum twice,” you tell him, “I’m pretty sure I’ll be okay.”
“Whatever you say, my star,” he grins, pressing his lips to yours as he pushes the head of his cock into your tight, wet hole.
You groan desperately, struggling against his grip on your wrists, but Mingyu doesn’t let up. In fact, he tightens his hold on you, pushing his cock even deeper into your core.
The sounds you’re making are feral as he kisses you, his lips and tongue are hot against your own in the most delicious way.
You can feel your pussy stretching to accommodate for his girth, and when his hips are finally flush against your own, you think this might just be the most full you’ve ever felt in your entire life.
Mingyu breaks the kiss, panting and looking down at you. “You feel perfect,” he whispers.
“You feel perfect,” you counter, feeling a little dim with your repetition of his own works back to him, but also too fucked out to think of anything better.
He only grins, drawing his lips to yours. It’s a gentler kiss as he begins to fuck you, his motions slow so you can acclimatize to the massive cock that’s already rearranging your guts.
You get lost in him, and there’s a kind of safety in having your hands pinned down above your head. You can’t quite explain it- maybe it’s just a size kink? You can’t have a bondage kink, can you? Does Mingyu even know what bondage is? Do fairies watch porn?
You push the thoughts from your head, focusing on the cock that’s dragging against your sensitive inner walls.
Soon, you’re moaning loudly again, and Mingyu finally lets up on your wrists. “I kind of…” he swallows thickly, thrusts faltering, “I kind of want you to ride me when you cum.”
“You do?”
“I’ve… well, I know I’ve been a little rough-”
“You haven’t been rough,” you assure him.
“I just mean, the first two times you came, I did what I wanted, and I want you to be in control for this last one, don’t want to overstimulate you.”
It’s a soft idea, and you nod up at him. “I’ll ride you.”
“Good.” Mingyu kisses you gently, and then the two of you are adjusting.
He lays flat as you swing your leg over his hip, grabbing his cock to line it up with your core so you can slowly sink down on him.
Mingyu groans, his hands settling on your hips to help you be gentle as you come to a fully seated position on his cock.
“You look so perfect like this, my star,” he tells you, one free hand moving up to grab your breast, massaging it gently and pinching at your nipple.
“Think you can cum with me, Gyu?” you ask, beginning to bounce.
You watch Mingyu’s lips part in concentration, his gaze fixed on your chest. He’s clearly in a daze, and it’s adorable. “I’ll cum with you,” he whispers. “You’re so beautiful.”
“You’re quite handsome yourself,” you smile.
Mingyu’s ears turn pink first, and it’s so endearing to watch the massive man flush from a compliment as you’re riding his cock.
God, he is a perfect man, isn’t he?
“I think… I think I was made to be found by you,” Mingyu says, looking up at you with eyes full of adoration. “I don’t know what I’d do If I never met you.”
“Gyu,” you coo, slowing your thrusts. Mingyu sits up, allowing you to pull him to your chest, cradling him to your breast as your fingers stroke through his hair.
“I do love you,” he continues. “And… it’s okay if you don’t love me the same way yet. I know it’s fast, even for me, but… yeah.”
“It’s fast, but that’s okay. You don’t have to hide yourself from me,” you tell him, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head.
“You don’t have to hide from me either,” Mingyu promises.
He lays back down flat, and you move with him, your chests pressed together as you ride his cock, groaning into his ear.
Mingyu’s hands are warm on your hips, and he steadies you, beginning to thrust up to meet your movements.
You both release sounds of pleasure, and you can feel your hearts racing together in your chests as they remain pressed to each other.
You’re tired, but you’re also eager to cum again, so you push through, closing your eyes and focusing on the pleasure instead of the increasing burn in your thighs.
“Are you close?” Mingyu pants in your ear. “I’m close.”
His sounds are like magic, and they help drag you to join Mingyu on the edge. “I’m close,” you confirm, swallowing thickly.
“Can we cum together?”
“Yeah,” you whimper, muscles clenching in preparation.
Mingyu fucks up into you even harder, and you put all of your energy into carrying this out, into riding this man until you pass out from how good everything is about to feel.
He releases another grunt, and you press your lips to his own, which is all it takes for you to both fall over the edge together.
You feel like you’re flying again, it’s almost an out-of-body pleasure-fueled experience, but this time, Mingyu’s with you, and you know you’ll be safe with the man who knows how to navigate the skies.
He cradles you to his chest, keeping his cock buried as deep as it can go in your core. You’re both kissing each other desperately, shaking and contracting from orgasms that continue to surge through you. Your hearts are racing together, and you’re both trying to catch your breaths even in the midst of a passionate kiss.
Everything just feels so right, and natural.
It’s as if your body was made to do this, with Mingyu especially.
Soon, your orgasms are subsiding, and you’re simply kissing now.
Mingyu holds you close, not letting you go until he’s good and satisfied.
You take a deep breath, breaking the kiss to look down at him. “So…”
“So,” he grins.
“So… I guess this changes our arrangement a little?”
Mingyu laughs, holding you tighter. “Does this mean I don’t have to sleep in the dollhouse anymore?”
You find yourself chuckling too, and the contraction it causes of your pussy around Mingyu’s cock makes him groan desperately, his hand pushing on the small of your back.
“You don’t have to sleep in the dollhouse.”
“I meant it when I said I’d give up my wings for you,” Mingyu muses, turning serious as he looks up at you.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“The future-”
“Is something we can talk about later,” you assure him. “Right now, I just want to enjoy you.”
“I guess… I guess we can do that,” Mingyu concedes. His arms wrap tighter around you, securing you down against his chest. He tucks you under his chin, releasing a deep breath, and that’s where you fall asleep, completely content with your blue-collared, human-sized, fairy lover.
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🔮 preview. “I’m happy where I am… but, when you cum, I’ll let you warm up while I fuck you stupid.” Mingyu never used to swear. He used to call sex ‘making love’ and something about it had made you uncomfortable in some weird way- so your soft lover has taken to using profanity for your own benefit, and you can’t help the way your body reacts to the term ‘fuck you stupid.’
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, size kink, worship, Mingyu is a boobs guy, nipple play, fingering, pussy stretching, foreplay, multiple reader orgasms, hand job, shower sex, praise, dirty talk, etc… I pet names: (hers) my star. (his) Gyu.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.7k I teaser wc. 175
🌙 starring. Mingyu x afab!Reader
bonus
It’s summer, and you’re more in love than ever. Mingyu’s made you rethink what it is to live in your cottage. He’s done everything in his power to make it your dream home, and his latest upgrade is a small rowboat that he’d handcrafted with the purpose of meandering around your pond.
You can’t stop smiling and giggling as Mingyu rows you around, the sunlight kissing his skin in the most beautiful way. He’s so gorgeous, and his soul is just as stunning.
Every day is a dream with him… but there are still things on your mind, things you need to discuss.
“Mingyu?” you ask, drawing his attention away from his haphazard rowing.
“Yes, my star?” he pauses to look at you, setting down the oars to give you his complete, and undivided attention.
“I’m just… I’m thinking.”
“That’s not always the best sign,” Mingyu teases. “Thinking about what?”
“Just… we’ve been together a while now, and, I guess I’m starting to look at the future more, and I’m not really sure how to envision it.”
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Steve's not really sure when it became a thing.
Maybe it was while Eddie was in the hospital recovering from his injuries, and the kids had forced Steve onto the visiting schedule. Maybe it was after Eddie got out of the hospital, and the kids insisted they continue to honor the schedule. Maybe it had nothing to do with the schedule and everything to do with the fact that Steve and Eddie had become... friends.
This is also a big maybe in Steve's head because he's pretty sure Eddie just hangs out with him from time to time because he's allowed to drink and smoke around or with him - and he's found that Eddie doesn't like to be alone for extended periods of time.
Steve can't blame him. But with his parents' seemingly permanent absence, he's kind of grown used to it whenever the kids and Robin are forced to go back to school.
But right now, Steve is grateful that Eddie has continued their "thing" in which he shows up at Steve's house at 9pm every Thursday - the same time as one of Steve's assigned "Eddie shifts" - with a six-pack in hand.
Only, this week, Eddie shows up with two bottles of wine.
Steve raises his eyebrows at him as he lets him into the house, shutting the door quickly to keep the cold air out.
"I just thought you'd like to change it up today," Eddie comments nonchalantly as he heads to the living room. Steve wonders for a moment if he knows the secret he's been keeping from everyone, but he figures he doesn't especially when he blabs on, "So, what movie are you blessing me with this week?"
Steve rolls his eyes as he goes to grab the tape and put it in the VCR, but he hesitates for a moment, straightening up to point at Eddie. "You will absolutely tell no one about this, got it? Also, I'm expecting a phone call, but you're not allowed to listen in on it."
"Got it. Scout's honor," Eddie replies with a wink and a salute.
"You were not a boy scout," Steve huffs as he decides to bite the bullet and put the tape in.
Eddie frowns and puts a hand over his heart. "You wound me, Steve. How could you say that?"
"Because I was a boy scout, and we would've been in the same troop."
Once Steve sits on the couch, Eddie leans in and nudges his shoulder. "What I wouldn't give to go back in time and meet a young Steve Harrington. I could've corrupted you sooner."
"I'm afraid Dustin beat you to the corrupting. He's the one who made me watch Star Wars."
"I can always corrupt you in other ways, Steve," Eddie comments, obnoxiously batting his eyelashes.
Steve laughs, used to the blatant flirting during the trailers at this point. "Is that why you brought the wine? To set the mood?"
"Something like that," Eddie says with a soft smile before switching back to his dramatics. "But I'll have you know, I'm a gentleman. Plus, I would like you to remember the first time I blow your mind."
"Blow my mind?" Steve asks, reaching over to grab the bottles. "How would you do that?"
"Wouldn't you like to know," Eddie says with a wink before uncapping his wine.
Steve glances at his own bottle for a moment, distracted. "It's a screw top."
"It's cheap," Eddie explains. He raises his bottle and tilts it Steve's way. "Cheers."
"Cheers," Steve answers, screwing off the top and taking a swig. Tastes like wine. And it also tastes like... a bad idea.
"So, what movie are we watching that has you so defensive?" Eddie asks, throwing his arm along the back of the couch.
To that, Steve takes a longer drink. "One of my mom's favorite movies. We used to watch it together whenever my dad went out of town for his business trips. But then my mom started getting more suspicious of him staying at the office late, and then she started to go on those business trips with him. Which now seem to... never end." Steve sighs and settles back onto the couch a bit more, head resting right on Eddie's hand. He quickly gets the hint and starts gently playing with his hair.
Steve's not sure when that became a thing either.
After another sip of wine, Steve finally confesses, "It's The Sound of Music."
A few expressions pass over Eddie's face before he quietly says, "That was one of my mom's favorites, too."
The two of them share a similar look of understanding and painful longing for a time they'll neither get back. They both drink at the same time as the opening notes of "The Sound of Music" ring out.
As the movie plays, the two of them drift closer - as they always do - and Steve notices that he's slowly but surely getting a bit wine-drunk. Which is what Robin calls the "worst type of drunk Steve." Maybe he should've taken her up on her offer to stay the full day.
As the last scene plays, Steve finds himself glancing toward the phone more than the screen.
"You okay?" Eddie asks gently, the hand in his hair moving to cup his face.
Steve can feel the way the wine flushes his cheeks and sits heavy on his stomach when he asks, "When do you realize your parents have given up on you?"
Eddie swallows heavily before grabbing Steve's nearly empty bottle and putting it on the coffee table. He sits back and fully turns to him. "For me, I fully realized a month after I stayed with Wayne. I still hadn't unpacked the cardboard box my things were in, hoping that maybe since my dad had dropped me off my mom would pick me up. But I hadn't seen her in years." He looks back at the TV where the end credits are rolling. "She left promising me she would come back and make a better life for the two of us eventually. I thought with my dad out of the picture, she'd be back. But as soon as I unpacked that box, I gave up on the idea."
Steve shifts closer and grabs Eddie's hand. "I'm sorry."
Eddie looks at him and tilts his head down so he's looking him right in the eye. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry, too. And..." he hesitates for a moment before resting his forehead against Steve's and whispering, "Happy birthday."
Steve's eyes close tightly. It's the words he had been waiting for all day but in hopes that they'd be coming out the mouths of at least one of his parents. Preferably his mom.
There's pressure behind his eyes, and Steve reaches out to squeeze Eddie's hand gently, warning him in his own way that he might fall apart. But Eddie stays where he is.
"This is the first year they haven't called," Steve whispers, feeling one tear fall down his face. "I know they're assholes but... I didn't think they'd be this much of an asshole. God," he breathes out, breaking away from Eddie to lean back against the couch, hands covering his face as more tears fall.
A familiar arm drapes itself around Steve's shoulders tugging gently until he winds up with his head buried in Eddie's neck.
They sit there for a while, Eddie holding him and running a soothing hand through his hair that reminds Steve of the first time Eddie had opened up to him about the nightmares that never went away, and they had ended up in a similar but swapped position.
Maybe that's when this became a thing.
It's a while before Steve speaks up to ask, "Hey, how do you even know when my birthday is? The last person I told was probably Tommy Hagan in the eighth grade. And Robin, of course, but I swore her to secrecy."
"Oh god," Eddie says in a way that makes Steve pull back to look at him fully. Eddie's head lulls to the side as he looks at him with an adorably embarrassed and caught expression. "So... don't hate me for this, but this happened a few years ago. And... do I really have to tell you?"
"It's my birthday, you have to tell me," Steve replies.
Eddie huffs, ever so dramatically, and grabs Steve's hands before confessing, "So, I stole your wallet a few times."
Steve can't help but laugh at the absurd confession. "When?"
"It was back in your sophomore year probably. We had some horrible science class together, and you sat right in front of me, and well... My friends and I made this hypothesis, very scientific, that some rich kids, including you, wouldn't notice if a dollar or two went missing from their wallets." Steve snorts, and Eddie smiles. "And you had this horrible habit of leaving the front pocket of your backpack open so..."
"Occasionally you would steal anywhere from one to five dollars from my wallet? And one time you managed to swipe ten," Steve fills in for him, vividly remembering something he hadn't thought about in years.
Eddie's eyes widen. "So, my hypothesis was wrong."
"No, you're just less subtle than you think you are."
There's a moment where Eddie just stares at him incredulously. "You're telling me, you let me steal from you? And you didn't beat me up for it?"
Steve shrugs, thinking about the first time it had happened, and he had truly considered it, but he realized. "I knew you needed it more than I did. But that's not what we're talking about. How did this lead you to finding out about my birthday?"
"It was on your driver's license, and I ended up memorizing it in case you had a big party that I could sell at. But then it just... stuck." Eddie looks down at their hands for a moment before he looks up and states, "And we're not about to breeze past this. I must've stolen at least thirty dollars from you!" He lets go of one of Steve's hands to grab his wallet off the coffee table. "For your birthday, let me pay you back."
Steve laughs and shakes his head. "You are not giving me thirty dollars for my birthday. And don't fight me on this, or I'll end up telling Dustin you gave me money without hesitation."
Eddie frowns at him and reluctantly puts his wallet back down. He leans over to Steve and cups his face as he plants a kiss onto his forehead. "You're never who I think you are, Steve Harrington."
"Is that a good thing?" Steve asks as his eyes glance down at his lips.
"A very good thing. It means I'll never give up on you," Eddie says with a teasing lilt but Steve knows that he means it.
"Same to you."
Eddie's teasing smile falters as he looks at Steve. One of his thumbs swipes at a remaining tear trail.
Steve's heart beats a little harder and he can't stop staring at Eddie's lips. He wonders when that became a thing.
"There's one thing you could do for me for my birthday," Steve breaths out.
"And what's that?" Eddie asks quietly.
Steve doesn't answer him, he just leans in slowly, closing his eyes when his nose brushes against Eddie's. But then he feels Eddie gently pull away.
"Earlier, I said I wanted you to remember when I blow your mind, Steve."
Steve's eyes flutter open. "I'm not that far gone."
Eddie sighs and mumbles, "I can't believe I'm doing this," and raises his voice to say, "I'll kiss you when I can't smell wine on your breath, deal?"
"Deal," Steve says, holding out his hand.
Eddie laughs as he shakes it, then grabs it to pull them both up.
"Bedtime?" Steve asks. Eddie nods, turning off the TV before leading the way to the kitchen to get two glasses of water before heading to Steve's room.
Steve knows exactly when that became a thing - the second time Eddie was over at his house, and he had a nightmare in the guest room. Steve now insists that he sleeps with him anytime he's over.
When they get into bed on their by-now-established sides, Steve can't help but say, "I think this is the best birthday I've had in a long time." He sighs and reaches out to grab Eddie's hand laying between them. "Maybe next year I'll tell everyone."
"Or we can make up a fake birthday for you that happens to fall sometime next week, and next year we'll pretend that everyone remembered the wrong date."
Steve laughs and squeezes Eddie's hand. "Or next week, I can take you on a date."
"Shh," Eddie quickly shushes him, "This definitely means it's time for you to go to bed."
"I can't wait for you to blow my mind in the morning," Steve says instead of trying and failing to fight Eddie on the fact that he's more coherent than he thinks he is. Besides, the faster he falls asleep, the sooner tomorrow will come.
"Goodnight, Steve," Eddie says, slightly amused.
"Goodnight, Eds."
Much to Eddie's surprise, he wakes up to Steve asking for a kiss. And he very much blows his mind.
#the steddie bug is back and it bit me hard#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#steddie ficlet
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I'm picturing Obi-Wan meeting some of the other clones made for specific jedi on the way back to coruscant and - still overwhelmed and confused and trying not to visibly panic - and suddenly worrying like "shit are they gonna be jealous that Cody met his jedi first will there be issues?" only to find that there's almost no jealousy. Not none, but it's overwhelmed by the mix of joy and longing that comes with knowing they're about to meet their jedi and fulfill their given purpose as protectors. He doesn't know whether to be relieved or more concerned.
The collective WTF when the council found out resonated around the planet into any nearby ships. The louder WTF once the rest of the jedi learned about it resonated throughout the entire system.
Twist The Madness
Master Sifo-Dyas is the change point in this little bit of madness.
In canon Sifo-Dyas is the Jedi that commissioned the Clone Army, driven mad by visions of a war that would destroy the Jedi, of the Jedi temple burning. It is unclear if he was seeing the results of the Clone Wars and Order 66 (thus, like Anakin, created the visions that drove him mad) or if he prevented his visions and Order 66 was something different entirely. It is also unclear if he was patsy of the Sith from the beginning, or if his plan was hijacked by the Sith at a later point.
But what if his takeaway from his visions and the madness they drove him to was just a bit different. Not an army, but protectors.
Sifo-Dyas still commissioned 1 million clones but not all at once. Instead it would be an ongoing order for generations. The initial amount decanted would be 100,000 clones, most would grow at a double rate until they reach physical adulthood, then their aging would be slowed to normal for near humans. Their training would be generalized and the calling they would be raised with would be to protect the Jedi Temples. The intention being that they would be spread throughout the active temples and live amongst the Jedi there. Approximately 10,000 had a slightly different charge. Each would be raised for a specific Jedi, their genetics tweaked so that they would be a perfect companion and protector (including aging the clone to either adulthood or to match their assigned Jedi and then matching their aging to their Jedi).
Jango Fett is still contracted to be the progenitor for the clones, but not because of his ability to kill Force Users. Instead it is his genetics themselves that separates him out from other bounty hunters. Due to the crossbreeding of his ancestors, his genetic code is particularly malleable, meaning that the genetic modifications needed to match Clone to a specific Jedi are that much easier. He was not expected to provide training, thus he simply provided generic material (enough over the course of one year for all 1 million clones in the order), is paid a massive amount of credits plus 1 son (Boba) and leaves; he has no idea that this order is for the Jedi.
At his request there is a specific genetic marker that is artificially added to all of the clones but Boba so that none of them can claim to be him or his son. He also signs a truly impressive number of agreements that released him from responsibility for the clones AND guaranteed that he knew that he was being cloned (Look, realistically the ethical issue with cloning a sentient being centers around the being being cloned, not the clones themselves; the ethical issues with the clones and their sentience is sentient trafficking).
I want it to be clear here. Sifo-dyas was still driven to madness before he commissioned the clones. He and master Dooku were working together on this project, sharing the madness. Dooku does not fall to the darkside here, though he does still leave the Jedi Order. Though their machinations see that the Clones on the whole are treated better, as they are meant to be companions and protectors of the Jedi, the clones are very much being raised for a destiny that they were not able to choose (with all the ethical issues that come with that). There is a heavy focus and even heavier propaganda throughout the clones' childhood of how they are, in a very real sense, being raised for the Jedi. It is also very heavily referenced that the Jedi as a whole do not know about the Clone yet, since they were a surprise.
The 10,000 who were being raised for a specific Jedi grew up with every piece of information that could be found about their Jedi. Their training was tailored to the Jedid they were assigned to. The information/propaganda/brainwashing was so specific for these 10,000 that after about the age of 3 chronologically, (a variety of ages physically, though age 6 is the most common for the clone that are meant to go to the adult Jedi), the clones whose Jedi died before they could meet could not be retrained. Instead their fellow clones consider them to be a living memorial for the lost Jedi (It is a really weird cultural development, but both Sifo-Dyas and Dooku allow it-They want the Clones as a culture to be in a symbiotic relationship with the Jedi and this fit in with that).
Sifo-Dyas’s plan did derail Dooku’s fall entirely, instead of causing Sifo-dyas’s death Dooku ghosted Palpatine around the time of the Naboo invasion. It never occurs to Dooku to let anyone know that Palpatine is a Sith.
Fast forward about 10 years, Dooku and Sifo-Dyas construct a far too complicated, dramatic plan to lure Obi Wan to Kamino. As far as they are concerned it is only right that Obi Wan gets ‘his’ clone protector, Cody, first (as Dooku’s grand padawan). It actually somewhat mirrors cannon, in that Anakin is sent on a mission to escort Senator Padme Amidala to Naboo (this is actually a separate plan by Palptine, who is trying to corrupt Anakin.In this Padme has been little more than a puppet for Palpatine for years-Her will is so strong that she has retained little bits of her own sense of self, as long as Palpatine is not in the equation but nothing like what she should have been) alone, as a test to see how ready he is to take his trials. Dooku then hires a bounty hunter, not Jango Fett, to lure Obi Wan to Kamino.
Obi Wan is met on Kamino by the Kaminoans first but also an all but visibly vibrating Cody. This Cody is radiating adoration and glee into the Force at finally meeting ‘his’ Jedi. It should be noted that Cody’s presence in the Force could not have been more perfect for Obi Wan. Cody gives the full tour to a mildly shellshocked Obi Wan; including introducing him to Rex, who has been raised for Anakin (I debated Rex going to Anakin or Ahsoka, but ultimately decided that Echo and Fives (together as twins) were meant for Ahsoka). They end the tour with a meeting with Dooku and Sifo Dyas who explain the clones.
Now Dooku and Sifo-Dyas deliberately have Cody stay while they explain who and what the clones were meant to be. Obi Wan already does not want to hurt Cody and there are only so many ways one can say ‘What the fuck do you mean cloned protectors?’ and all of them could be read as a rejection of the clones themselves. Dooku also manages to make it clear to Obi Wan without stating it outright, thus in Obi Wan’s eyes leaving Cody in the dark, that if the Jedi Order rejects the clones they (the clones) will all be killed as defective.
So now Obi Wan gets to make a very carefully worded call to the Jedi High Council about the new 100,000 lives they need to become responsible for (who will be murdered if they don’t), of which about 10,000 have been brainwashed so thoroughly that barring them from ‘their Jedi’ might actually cause very real psychological harm. Also politically the Jedi appears to have just acquired an army, possibly of slaves.
Like, even without the war, the sheer magnitude of What the Fuck that comes with ‘These people think we own them, their entire sense of self rests on how well they serve us. How do we tell them we don’t without breaking their sense of self’. Also being told that Dooku and Sifo-Dyas, who have not technically broken any laws(they used Dooku’s money instead of the Jedi’s so there is not even any fraud), would continue to have the Kaminoans produce clones and give them to the Jedi Order until the 1 million already paid for have been decanted.
I am just saying, everyone on the high council needed to take a minute. Obi Wan also needed to take a minute. Oddly enough Obi Wan’s minute of panic came just before Anakin would have slaughtered the Tuskens (Controlled Padme was under orders to get Anakin in as many situations as possible that would cause him to reach for the dark. Including following a vision of his mother dying). That moment of panic disrupted the rage and pain enough that Anakin did not reach for the dark side or slaughter the Tuskens. He escaped with his mothers body instead.
They manage to get all 100,000 clones back to the Coruscant Temple without causing a panic or a diplomatic incident with the Senate (in spite of Palpatine watching like a hawk for anything he could use to discredit the Jedi, after his most reliable source of information ghosted him). Then the Jedi made a point of asking each and every clone what they actually wanted to do (they were truly at a loss as to what else to do). Of the 90,000 generally trained, about 500 did not want to be protectors of the Jedi. As the Jedi’s response is immediately ‘Do you know what you want to do? If not, we can help you figure it out. We can get you education and whatever resources you want to pursue your dream’ with the manic air of someone who really wants help but has no idea how to, caused the remaining 89,500 generally trained clones to not just cement but weld their loyalties to the Jedi. Like they were all ready to die for the Jedi before, because of propaganda, but now that they were even more amazing than the Clones had thought…now the loyalty of these clones is that much deeper (frankly the Jedi remain worried about this). For the 10,000 clones that were trained for specific Jedi, they actually had to stop asking because without fail the thought of not being able to protect ‘their’ Jedi led to a panic attack.
So now we have the Jedi who have kinda been forced to accept these protectors and companions. The adult Jedi are working really hard to figure out a balance between trying to break the brainwashing and letting the clones have the autonomy to act on their own desires (since their desires are ‘protect the Jedi’). The children in the Creche were simply introduced to their companions with the hope that being raised together can mitigate some of the training (This also means that the creche and classes have to be rapidly adjusted so that they can accommodate the clones as well).
For some angsty flavor, we see the Jedi coming to love (romantic, familial, sexual, platonic, or other) their Clone companions and being constantly beset by thought of ‘how can I act on these feelings, they don’t have a choice’ and ‘they think the belong to me…?’. And as far as the clones are concerned everything that their Jedi does reinforces how they are deserving of the clones' loyalty and love.
Note: I do want you all to know that sudden addition of Rex following Anakin around AND the lack of war did derail Anidala before it began
#wait do dooku and sifo-dyas have companions?#and so we know what happens to jedi who die before the clones are introduces#but like#what happens if the jedi in question leaves the order?#do dooku and sifo-dyas keep them around cause the jedi could come back and it'd be a waste to kill them?#or is there stigma because their jedi is no longer a jedi?#just imagining the angst of the jedi like#trying to deal with the fact that#2 of them went nuts and had an army literally fucking built to protect them#trained and brainwashed for years#and they have no fucking clue how to handle it#and on the other hand#their survival rate suddenly goes way up because having well-trained backup is really helpful#and they really care about the clones even if some of them intitially try not to because they're freaked out and scared#but the ethical QUANDRY#maybe there's at least a couple that don't exactly nope the fuck out#(the council makes it VERY clear that they had no clue and donn't condone the mad jedis' actions)#but they do basically avoid the temple and by extension the clone trained for them and basically put off meeting them for as long as possib#in a combination of 'i canNOT handle this for various reasons'#and 'trying to figure out what the fuck went wrong and if there's any way to help'#the 'rejection by chosen jedi is mentally dangerous' is known or guessed fairly quickly so all of them are trying to come up with#really ggod excuses which works for a while to various degrees#until either the clone in question has a panic attack over 'do they not want me?!?'#or they just go 'fuck this'#and track down their jedi#also#all clones made for a jedi adopt their padawans#jeeze at this rate i chouldve just put it as text not tags#star wars#clone wars
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Apparently I've developed a habit of stumbling across a really good fic for a fandom I'm not really in and then getting thoroughly sucked into it entirely through fic
#stella speaks#to be fair each time i've done this i have started with at least some level of knowledge about the canon in question#for star wars i'd seen all the movies and liked them a lot then i went and hyperfixated on it after finding this one fic#for batman i'd seen a few movies and the btas cartoon then i went and hyperfixated on that too after one particular fic#actually i found the batman fic before i even found the sw one and it's actually the only reason i have an ao3 account at all tbh#if i hadn't found that fic i wouldn't be in fandom the way i am today so i'm really glad i stumbled across it#and then the most recent one was for bbc merlin#which i have seen some of several years ago#i didn't finish it and i don't remember how far i got into it. nor do i really remember.... most of it#but i found a good fic and then i went and read everything from that author for merlin#and while i probably won't go back and actually watch the show i have a feeling i'm gonna keep reading fic for it lol#also i'd like to note that in each of these cases i found the inciting fic thanks to tumblr
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