#and they have no fucking clue how to handle it
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The Office Romance pt. 2, ft. tripleS Seoyeon
tags: creampie, anal, blowjob, food play, rough, daddy kink
length: almost 10k
author's note: I remember you guys liked the first Seoyeon anal fic, so here's another one—enjoy!
-
“Ngh, ngh—oh, fuck!”
Only these sounds escape Seoyeon’s lips as she tries to cope with your cock that’s invading her ass. You’re no better, though; despite being able to speak coherently, the words that come out of your lips are dirty to say the least.
“Oh, fuck, how are you always so tight, baby? You’re so fucking amazing.”
Seoyeon lifts her face off the pillow momentarily. “P-please cum; I-I can’t take much of this anymore,” she begs. It was her idea to do anal this midnight—after your previous load went into her pussy—and you’re simply playing along, but now that she’s visibly uncomfortable, you don’t feel like continuing.
You slowly pull your cock out of her rear and flip her onto her back. “Oh, I’m so sorry, baby,” you wipe some tears off her plump cheeks. “It was so painful, wasn’t it?” Seoyeon nods. “I-I thought I would’ve been able to handle it, but apparently not.” You pull her into an embrace after lying down next to her. “I’m very happy that you’re putting my pleasure as one of your top priorities, but at the same time, I wish you wouldn’t force yourself like this next time.” Seoyeon pecks you on the lips. “It’s because you matter the most to me, oppa.” “I know, baby, and you matter the most to me,” you say, “but let’s not do it like this again.”
The two of you didn’t shower after the first sex session a few hours ago, and you think that now is a good time for it. “Let’s get some shower, baby, and then we can get some proper rest.” “I’ll need your help for that, oppa.” You take your turn to peck her on the lips. “Gladly, baby.”
-
“Hi! Hello!” Dayeon, who happens to be at the lobby, greets you and Seoyeon. She isn’t in the best mood today—you have a few clues as to why—so you’re reluctant to greet Dayeon back with the same energy, because the last thing you want is for Seoyeon to think that you’re too excited to see Dayeon. Seoyeon, however, suddenly picks up her steps, thus leaving you and Dayeon behind.
“Oh.” Dayeon’s smile disappears as she watches her leave. “Is she okay?” You tell her that Seoyeon didn’t have much sleep last night, hence the crankiness, and apologize on her behalf. “I guess I’m not coming to your place tomorrow, then.” You shake your head. “I mean, the idea wasn’t even mine.”
After parting ways with Dayeon, you rush towards the elevator to chase your girlfriend. “There you are.” You approach the grumpy beauty who’s sitting at her desk. “Are you okay, baby? Can I help with anything?” Seoyeon starts crying, taking you by surprise. “I-I’m so tired, oppa, a-and here you are, flirting with another girl.” You want to hug her and assure her that you weren’t even close to flirting with Dayeon, but there’s a CCTV in this area. “Follow me, please,” you tilt your head towards the door to your office, and thankfully, Seoyeon does follow you.
After closing the door behind her, you pull her into a tight hug. “Baby, I wasn’t flirting with her; I was just saying hi because she said hi first.” “I know,” Seoyeon sighs, “I’m sorry, oppa; I don’t know why I’m so sensitive today.” You gently run a hand on the back of her head. “You’re just drained, baby—maybe we shouldn’t push too much to have sex from now on.” Your girlfriend presses her face on your chest. “I just wanted to please you, oppa,” she reasons. “I know, baby, and I thank you for that, but if having sex denies you some much-needed rest, then what’s the point?” Seoyeon pulls away from the hug, wiping her eyes as she does. “I’m going to cry until my eyes are dry if we keep hugging—I’ll start working now.” Before you let her go, you come in for a quick kiss. “I love you, baby.” “I love you too, oppa.”
You go to sit at your desk and see that your computer is already on, and there’s a note stuck on the bezel of your monitor that says, “lunch w/ me @ Tonkatsu Theater.” “Oh, you want to get lunch with me, baby? That’s very cute.”
-
You arrive at Tonkatsu Theater with Seoyeon at around 1 p.m. “Oh, it’s not that packed,” you comment. “Wouldn’t matter if it did; I’ve booked a table for us.” “You have? When?” “This morning, on our way to the office.”
“A reservation for Yoon Seoyeon, please,” Seoyeon says to one of the staffs, who then asks the two of you to follow him towards the reserved private dining area. “Two tonkatsu, one onion rings, one iced tea with no sugar, and one orange juice, please.” Look, she even orders for you. You wait until the staff leaves before reaching for her hands. “This should’ve been my job, but thank you, baby.” A smile gradually forms on her face, a perfect fit for the rest of her gorgeous features. “Of course, oppa,” she replies, her cheeks pink. “You’re paying for the food, though.” You let out a chuckle that’s louder than intended. “Of course, baby.”
The food arrives at your table not long after you’re seated, which is great; you skipped breakfast this morning because you were running late, so you’re starving right now. Seoyeon slams her hands on the table, a fork in one hand and a knife in the other. “Doesn’t this look amazing?" You nod enthusiastically. “It sure does,” you pick up your utensils, “shall we?”
Seoyeon sinks in her seat after the first bite. “Oh, my—oh my God,” she speaks despite the full mouth, “one bite is all it takes to fall in love.” You see an opportunity to make a joke. “The same way it took you one kiss to fall in love with me?” Seoyeon covers her mouth as she tries her hardest to not laugh and spit everywhere. When the amusement dies down, she kicks you under the table. “Oh my God, stoooop—just eat, oppa, why are you teasing me?” You pinch her round cheeks lightly. “Oh, please, don’t tell me you weren’t amused.”
-
You summon Dayeon to your office with around an hour left in the workday to talk about some debut-related stuff with her and Seoyeon.
“Hi, hi,” Dayeon enters your office with a smile, and you replicate that smile for her. “So, what’s so important?” “I’ll get straight to the point,” you say, “I’m thinking about debuting all seven of them.” She looks at you with this neutral face that you’re not sure what the meaning is. “Is that so?” You nod. “I’m curious about what you think since you’ve spent some time getting familiar with them.” Dayeon sighs. “Soobin-ie needs some more training.” “I mean, we still have time until January at most,” you reason. “Okay,” she says, “then in that case, I want to be more hands-on with Soobin-ie—don’t worry, I’ll make sure I don’t offend the instructors.“ “Yeah, go ahead,” you show her the green light.
“Is that it, or?” You shake your head. “One more thing, actually,” you change the subject, “you were an idol at some point in your life; how was mental health support when you were active?” You can see joy gradually disappearing from her features. “It didn’t exist,” she sighs, “I had to rely on the older members for that, and it goes without saying that they had their own things to worry about.”
You grab some origami papers of different colors that you’ve cut into credit card-sized rectangles. “Seoyeon-ie suggested that we give out these cards to the girls, and whenever they want to talk, they can just show me or anyone at the company one of these things.” “What are the different colors for?” “I know that green is for when they want to talk about work stuff, but I don’t know about red and orange yet.” Dayeon looks at Seoyeon momentarily before turning her focus back to you. “Orange should be for when they want to talk to a psychologist or the sort, and red is for girls’ stuff.” You ask her to elaborate, so she does. “I don’t know, I was thinking that maybe Seoyeon-ie could be their older sister at work, but I think she already has so much in her hands.”
You ask Seoyeon what she thinks about Dayeon’s idea. “I mean, if you can take off some work load off me, then I’ll gladly take on a closer role with the girls,” Seoyeon says. You rub your chin as you think about it; the things you usually assign to Seoyeon are those that you really need help with, so it’s not like you’re slacking off and delegating things to others just because you can, but at the same time, if she can become that person the girls can rely on, it’d be so helpful for them. “We’ll think about it, okay?”
You’re promptly reminded that debuting all seven trainees would mean that you’ll need to find a new living space to properly accommodate them, which you don’t have references for just yet—three of the seven trainees live with their parents, so at the moment, you only need to house the remaining four.
“Dayeon-ah, find some apartments that can fit seven of them comfortably, please?” “Yeah, sure,” she says, “anything else?” “No, that’s it.” Dayeon nods and writes down her new assignment on her phone. “I’ll get to it; give me a day or two,” she says. “Alright, you may go, then.”
You expect her to just turn around and walk out, but no, she bends over your desk and gives you a peck on the lips. “Uhh,” you’re getting nervous, “thanks, I guess?” “Don’t be mad, Seoyeon-ah,” she says, “see you two around!”
You’re still silent even after Dayeon has left your office. You’re snapped out of your trance when you hear a chuckle from Seoyeon. “What are you so stunned for, oppa—you’ve never gotten a kiss from a girl before?” “I didn’t expect her to be so brazen considering that you’re here.” Your girlfriend places her palms on your cheeks. “Something tells me that I don’t have to worry about her,” she says, rubbing your cheeks softly as she does, “I know who I am in your eyes.” “I love you,” you say, earning a cute smile from Seoyeon. “I love you too, oppa.”
You keep an eye on her as she walks away from your desk and out of your office. This morning, she cried because she thought that you were flirting with Dayeon (even though it was a simple, friendly greeting), and about a workday later, Seoyeon said with confidence that she knew her worth in your eyes.
You shake your head to clear your mind. The workday is done and it’s time to go home with Seoyeon.
At least that was the plan, because when you leave your office, you see Jihyun sitting on the other side of Seoyeon’s desk, seemingly sad about something.
“Are you okay, Miss Seo?” Jihyun bites her lip nervously before answering you. “Erm, i-it’s about Sunbin-ie,” she says vaguely. “What about her?” “S-she sprained her ankle just now, a-and I thought I should tell you and Miss Yoon.” You sigh and rub your forehead at the same time. What’s with Sunbin and hurting her legs, man—first it was her calf, and now it’s her ankle. “Where is she now, Jihyun-ah?” “S-still in the practice room, sir, i-if you’d follow me.”
As you and Seoyeon are following Jihyun to the practice room, you nudge her. “Try holding her hand, babe,” you whisper. Seoyeon does as you ask and takes Jihyun’s hand in hers, and Jihyun is visibly surprised. “You’re alright, Jihyun-ah,” she says, “from now on, I’ll be your older sister that you can rely on." Jihyun isn’t quite sure of what to make of the words, but based on her nods, you guess that she likes the idea.
“Girls, the bosses are here,” Jihyun announces your and Seoyeon’s presence as the three of you enter the practice room. You see the girls standing around a seated person who you assume is Sunbin, circling her and thus blocking your view. One of them suddenly turns around, and— “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you,” Sunwoo starts singing the song while clapping her hands to the rhythm, followed by the other trainees, and you promptly look at your watch: it is the 6th of November, which is your birthday—if it wasn’t for these girls, you wouldn’t have remembered.
It is when the girls peel away from the circle that you see the white birthday cake (that has some text written in red-colored buttercream on it) in Sunbin’s hands. “Oh my God,” you palm your forehead, “so this was a ploy?” Seoyeon wraps an arm around yours and drags you closer to the cake. “Happy birthday, boss!” You’re highly amused by the surprise. “Thank you, everyone,” you say.
You and Seoyeon sit on the floor with the girls, the cake sitting in the middle like a bonfire. “He doesn’t celebrate his birthday, guys,” Seoyeon says, “it’s only my birthday he celebrates.” Soobin asks why, so you simply say that your family doesn’t really celebrate anyone’s birthday regularly. “Wait,” Soobin says, “did you say he only celebrates your birthday, Miss Yoon?” Seoyeon’s cheeks turn bright red. “Y-yes,” she says, covering her cheeks with her palms, “h-he’s my boyfriend, if you didn’t know already.” Based on the girls’ expressions, you guess that they didn’t know about it.
It is time to address something important: how did they know that it’s your birthday? “Well, I asked Miss Kim—Kim Dayeon, that is,” Sihyeon says, “and now we know everyone’s birthdays.” You shake your head. “So let me ask again, Sunbin-ie didn’t hurt her ankles?” Everyone bursts out laughing. “No, no, no—we just had Jihyun-ie act stressed and sad so that she could get your attention. “Well, dang,” you say, “maybe we should consider giving Jihyun-ie some acting lessons.”
Sunbin pulls out a plastic knife from her back pocket and cuts the cake into 8 parts. “You and Miss Yoon should share, boss,” Sunbin says. Daeun passes a slice over to you along with a spoon. “Choo, choo, baby.” You guide a spoonful of cake towards Seoyeon’s mouth, and with red cheeks, she takes it in her mouth. “Oooooh,” the trainees collectively react, as if sharing the same brain cells. Seoyeon shakes her head as she chews her mouthful. “Alright, alright,” you try saving your girlfriend from further embarrassment, “let’s eat, girls!”
It doesn’t take long for people to finish their slices—Hyeonju even finishes hers in 3 mouthfuls. “Miss Park and Miss Jeon, get some water for us, please.” Soobin and Sunbin do as you ask and grab some bottles of water. “Alright, so,” you start a new topic, “I think this is a good opportunity to talk.” The trainees look at you both in confusion and nervousness. “Oh, don’t worry; it’s nothing to be concerned about—if anything, I think you should be excited about this.”
You briefly explain to the trainees how you’re planning to implement a system where each of them can request an audience with anyone in the company for anything they want to address, from work-related things to personal ones. “A part of the plan is to have Miss Yoon over here to take on a role as your, erm, older sister, I guess.” The seven trainees look at you and Seoyeon in silence, probably processing what this could mean for them. “Look,” you pile on, “I want to provide clear communication channels between us because each of you matters a lot for us.” “And how do you plan on doing that, sir?” “I have some cards of different colors upstairs, and the idea is that different colors represent different purposes; show it to anyone and they’ll take care of you accordingly, from the trainers to the psychiatrist.”
“I like that,” Sunwoo is the first to break the silence, “I think I like that idea, boss.” A smile appears on your face, pushing tenseness away in the process. “Thank you, Miss Jung—anyone else?” Sihyeon asks if seeing the psychiatrist would require them to pay. “No, the company will pay for it, because we’ll be hiring professionals for this.” “Wait, hold on,” Sunwoo speaks again, “please promise us that this system is long-term.” You nod. “As long as me and Miss Yoon are here, it won’t go away.”
“Guys,” Seoyeon takes the baton from you, “please let us know what you think.” Park Soobin, who happens to sit right next to her, hugs her from the side. “Unnie,” she says softly, “I love you, my unnie.” Seoyeon replicates the gesture, beaming as she does. “I love you too, Soobin-ah; talk to me often, ‘kay? I promise I’ll make time for you.”
You step away from the circle to give space, and the girls immediately hug Seoyeon from all directions as a group. You find yourself beaming and your heart is full of warmth because of the sight in front of you. “I’m glad everyone is on board with the idea.” “Can we call you oppa, then?” Jihyun’s question makes you laugh. “I mean, if you’re comfortable with it, then sure.”
The trainees take their previous sitting positions in the circle, thus allowing you to rejoin. “Oh, I just remembered,” you say, “we’re also planning on giving you guys some vacation, since your instructors are going to take some PTO next week.” Some cheer while some others don’t really show excitement. You ask those who aren’t as ecstatic if they’re okay, and they say different reasons as to why they’re not excited: Daeun doesn’t feel like seeing her parents (she doesn’t have the best relationship with them), Hyeonju wants to see her parents but doesn’t have money for transport (that can be fixed easily), and finally, Soobin says she wants to practice more.
“Work will always be there, Soobin-ah,” you say, “don’t you want to take a breather for a moment?” Soobin’s teary gaze strays away from yours. “I think I’m still lacking, sir, and since only 5 of us will debut, I-I need to pick it up.” You notice that Seoyeon is deeply looking at you, and you wonder if this is a good opportunity to reveal the plan of debuting all of them.
A part of you wants to provide comfort for Soobin, but at the same time, it’s too risky to open the card now. “Alright, okay,” you say, “Miss Kim said earlier that she wanted to be more hands-on with your training, so I’m going to entrust you to her.” “Y-yes, sir; I-I will work hard.”
The general mood is declining, and it makes you think that it’s time to wrap it up. “Alright, let’s go home, everyone.” Before leaving with you, Seoyeon makes the time to hug each trainee, offering comfort and kindness to them. “We will see you soon—good evening, everyone.”
As soon as you get in the car with Seoyeon, she confronts you. “Why didn’t you say that all of them will debut?” “I wanted to, but I felt like it was too risky.” She clicks her tongue in disappointment. “They needed comfort, oppa, but you failed to provide them with it—this is their future more than it is ours.” You sigh. “I’m sorry,” you say, “should we tell them now, then?” “No, it’d be embarrassing to go back in there, but you need to tell them soon.”
-
“I’m going to shower first; feel free to do whatever.” Seoyeon beelines towards the bathroom without bothering to shed some clothes off first. “Sure, baby.”
You take a seat on the edge of the bed, feeling very uneasy about the attitude that your girlfriend is showing you. At the same time, however, this wouldn’t have happened had you told the trainees that all of them will debut in January. “It’s fine—this is fine,” you say to yourself, “Soobin-ie still needs to practice more anyway.”
While you wait for Seoyeon to finish showering, you get rid of your work clothes in favor of some more comfortable T-shirt and shorts. “Oppa!” You faintly hear her calling to you from the bathroom. “One second!” You jog a little towards her and see that the bathroom door is slightly open. “Yes, baby?” “Can you grab me some pajamas?” “Sure.”
After grabbing a set of pink pajamas from the wardrobe, you make your way back to the bathroom. “Baby, I’m putting it on the mat, okay?” You see the door swinging open, revealing your drenched, naked girlfriend. “Come here,” she says. Your eyes run up and down her body as you think about the situation—oh, wait, she just shaved. “Erm, sure.”
You stay silent as Seoyeon undresses you, cooperating here and there where you see fit. “Oppa,” she snatches your attention, “listen to me, please.” Your gaze moves to meet hers. “First of all, happy birthday,” she begins, “I didn’t forget it, just so we’re clear, but I didn’t have time to get you a present, so I’m sorry.” You shake your head. “Having you by my side is far better than any present.” Seoyeon looks away momentarily to hide her red cheeks.
“Anyway,” she clears her throat before continuing, “I want to apologize, oppa; I, erm, wasn’t so kind with you this past hour.” You shake your head again. “I understand where you were coming from—actually, I was about to ask you if I should come to their practice tomorrow and announce the plan.” “We can if you want to,” she says, and you simply nod in response.
“Hey, so, erm” you change the subject, “why am I here?” Seoyeon chuckles. “Well, I wanted to suck you—y’know, to celebrate your birthday and all that.” Your lips are shut, but your cock does the talking, getting hard at the prospect of getting a blowjob. “Take a seat somewhere, oppa.” You look for spots in the bathroom and decide that you’ll take the toilet. “I’m ready when you are, baby.”
The way Seoyeon’s hips sway as she’s making her way towards you combined with the sight of her shaved crotch makes you drool. The sight is replaced when she kneels between your legs, her eyes locked on your erect shaft. “Happy birthday, oppa.” “Thank you, love,” you place a hand on the side of her face, “thank you for being here.” Seoyeon, not in the correct position to peck you on the lips, gives you a peck on the tip of your cock.
You gasp when the first few centimeters of your cock enters her mouth. Seoyeon wastes little time and immediately begins bobbing her head along your shaft. “Oh my God, baby,” you say breathily, “you’re always so damn good at this.” Enthused by your praise, Seoyeon plants her hands on your thighs so that she can be stable while sucking your cock fast and deep. Her wet hair sticks on different parts of her face, and you take it as your job to tidy it up as much as you can.
“Oh, God, I won’t last if you do it like that,” you comment when you feel her tongue running on the underside of your shaft. Your cock leaves her lips with a pop. “No, no, no, you can only bust here,” she points at her crotch, “I didn’t shave just for you to cum in my mouth.” You wipe some drool off the edges of your lips. “Okay,” you say, “are we doing it here, then?” Seoyeon looks around the bathroom. “Yeah, let’s do it here; it’s easier for us to clean up after.” “I’m ready when you are, baby.”
You expect Seoyeon to impale herself on your cock, but she doesn’t—she just stands in front of you with her hands on your shoulders. “Are you okay, baby?” She sighs. “I, erm, don’t feel the usual emotions.” You show her a gentle smile. “Is that so, my love?” The endearment makes her blush a little. “If you keep calling me that, though...”
You lift your butt off the toilet, thus towering over her like you usually do. “Love, listen, please,” you rub her cheek gently, “I love you so, so, so much, and I’m thankful for you.” Seoyeon’s big eyes are locked on yours, and her lips are shut tight, waiting for you to pile on. “That said, my love, I apologize for all my shortcomings; I promise I will work on becoming the best person you want to spend your life with.”
“You know I hate empty promises, right, oppa?” You nod. “I do, and I hate them as much as you do, love.” “So, how are you going to show your commitment to fulfill that promise, oppa?” Her question stumps you; how are you going to show your commitment is indeed a very good and valid question. “I-I don’t know.” This cluelessness makes you want to cry—you really want to give her a good answer, but no matter how hard you’re cranking the gears in your head, you just can’t come up with one. “I-I’m sorry, I-I don’t know what to say.”
Seoyeon takes her turn to rub your cheek with her gentle hand. “You don’t have to answer with your words, oppa—actions speak louder anyway.” The embarrassment in your head leads to you dropping your chin, but Seoyeon lifts it up again, thus making you look at her again. “Hey, now,” her voice is very soft, “get yourself together, oppa; I still love you, y’know.” You take a deep breath. “Sorry, love—you brought me here to have sex, and what you’re getting is a mess.” “Let me fix that mess, oppa.”
Seoyeon gets on her tippy toes and places her lips on yours, and with every second passing, you can feel that things are getting clearer for you to see; Seoyeon is here to stay and watch you grow as a man in this relationship with her unwavering patience and warm love. “I love you, oppa,” her soft voice warms your heart, “and trust me when I say that it’s not an empty sentence.” You smile. “I love you more, love—I haven’t the slightest of doubt in my head about us.” Seoyeon smiles sweetly. “I think we’re ready to have sex now.” “We are,” you agree with her, “but I don’t want to do it here.”
You step away from your girlfriend to grab a towel and use it to wipe water off her body. “Sex in the bathroom doesn’t feel appropriate for us right now, don’t you think?” Seoyeon hums in agreement. Once she’s dry enough to not wet the bed, you lift her by her thighs and carry her to the bedroom, exchanging pecks on the way there.
“I take it we’ll be doing vanilla?” “I mean, we have some chocolate in the fridge if you want to spice it up.” Seoyeon laughs. “No, no, no—we didn’t build up all those emotions just to be, uh, naughty.” You take a seat on the edge of the bed with her still on your lap. “Maybe next time, then?” She sticks her tongue out slightly, seemingly full of ideas for “next time.” “We can go crazy next time, oppa, but let’s worry about that next time.”
You fall backwards onto the bed, thus making Seoyeon take the top position. “Oh, I get to be on top?” You chuckle. “As if you’ve never been on top before.” You gasp when you feel her grabbing your cock and stroking it. “You know I like being on the bottom more, but I don’t mind riding this big dick of yours every now and then.”
You’re about to say something but got cut off when Seoyeon lets you in her tight and wet pussy. “Oh, yes, daddy,” she lets out a long moan at the first contact. “Vanilla, baby, remember?” She laughs a little. “Ah, of course—sorry, force of habit.”
She lies on your body, putting those soft tits of hers right on your chest. “Will you marry me one day, baby?” She gives you a peck on the lips. “I will marry you in this life, the next, and the one after.” “You think we’ll meet again in the next life?” She gives you another peck. “We belong to each other, oppa, and we’ll always find our way back, no matter the distance.”
You think that you’ve had enough conversation, so you push yourself upwards into her warm pussy to signal that you’re ready (if not eager) to begin, thus earning a soft moan from her. “You’re perfect for me, oppa, and I’m perfect for you—that Kim Dayeon girl can’t compete with me.” You pinch her cheek lightly. “Let’s not mention another name when we’re in bed like this, baby.” “S-sure.”
You let out a big exhale when Seoyeon does a full up-and-down move along your cock, and you feel like you’re on cloud nine. “Y-you’re doing that thing again, oppa,” she quips, “y-your eyes are rolling to the back of your head.” You let your eyelids close as they wish. “You’re amazing, that’s why.” You get a peck on the cheek from her. “I’m only like this for you, oppa; you make me want to give you the best all the time.” You don’t know how she’s able to speak these many words with your cock lodged deep in her pussy. “Uh-huh.”
Seoyeon wraps her arms tightly around your nape and begins moving her hips along your cock, moaning so damn freely as she does. “Oh, God, if only I could say how much I love you, oppa.” You shake your head. “Actions speak louder, remember?” “Y-yes, I remember, b-but still.”
You collect yourself and lift your body off the bed, and Seoyeon, as if able to read your mind, kisses you without being asked to. “I love you, baby—I love you so much, and I’ll make you mine forever one day.” “Let’s not worry about the future right now, oppa,” her whispered words hit you hard, “let’s think about the here and now.” You chuckle a little. “Sure, baby.”
You move closer towards the center of the bed and take the top position this time. “I want to mark you, baby.” Seoyeon tilts her head to expose your target. “Have at it, oppa.” Your lips promptly latch on the side of her neck, and once she starts moaning because of it, you start moving your hips back and forth to maximize stimulation. “Oh, yes, that’s it, oppa,” she expresses her approval of your actions, “keep going just like that, oppa.”
This relaxed pace works well for you; you don’t have to worry about busting early because of her tight grip and instead are able to really enjoy the sensations. That said, Seoyeon, as per usual, likely needs something more—
“Oppa, I-I’m getting close.”
Well, isn’t that great to hear; you were just about to ask her if she wanted something more to send her across the finish line, but she just announces that she’s about to cross that line.
“We’ll cum together, baby, ‘kay?” Seoyeon nods in response as her eyes are shut tight, unlike her lips where moans are escaping from, and the sight makes you smile. “You’re such a sweet girl, aren’t you, baby?” “A s-sweet girl like me d-deserves a good guy.” You give her some fleeting kisses. “Am I not a good guy, baby?” Her lips form a small but precious smile. “Y-you’re the best, oppa.”
Your heart starts racing as orgasm makes its way closer to you. “B-baby,” your voice is heavy and breathy, “I-I’m about to—” “Yes, yes, give it all to me, oppa.” You tighten the embrace and pick up the pace of your hips a bit, chasing your orgasm with utmost eagerness. “Yes, just like that, oppa—oh, fuck, yes.” Seoyeon’s approval serves as fuel for your nearly exhausted body to keep pushing during this final short stretch.
With a deep grunt, you release a big, warm load into your girlfriend, thus earning a long moan from her. “I—oh, God,” you’re breathless, “I-I love you so much, baby.” Seoyeon’s body begins to tremble in your arms, a sign that confirms your success at the task. “H-hold me! Hold me, oppa!” You make sure your arms stay strong to hold her close, fighting off as much of the exhaustion as you can. “You’re fine, baby; I’m here for you—I’m always here for you, baby.”
It is only when Seoyeon calms down that you let go of the hug and move to lie next to her. “G-get me a pill, oppa.” You gather your strength and roll over to reach the bedside table to get the pill. You hand it over to your girlfriend along with a bottle that’s barely a quarter full. “O-one day, we won’t bother with this thing,” she says, “I-I swear to God, I’ll give you a child, oppa.” You pet her head softly. “One day, sweetie, okay?”
-
You and Seoyeon arrive at your company’s building in a fine and chill Saturday morning.
The two of you head straight to the practice room where you assume the trainees are, and true enough, everyone but Jihyun is present. “Where is Jihyun-ie?” “She went out to run earlier, but she should be here soon.” It’s an odd time to start getting nervous, and you try your hardest to shake it off. “Yeah, okay,” you take a seat on a nearby chair, “we’ll wait for her a bit.”
The 19-year-old trio of Hyeonju, Daeun, and Soobin are lying on the floor, train hugging from one end to the other. “Yah, Shin Daeun, stop moving, will you?” “Then hug me more tightly, dummy.” Hyeonju and Daeun have been close since middle school, which explains their best friend-like dynamics. “I don’t know how Jinhwan-ie can cuddle you through the night.”
Daeun glances at you nervously. “D-don’t say that out loud, Hyeonju-yah—the boss is right there.” You don’t recall including a “no dating” term in anyone’s contract. “Dating is completely fine, girls,” you interject. Daeun reaches behind and slaps Hyeonju on the thigh. “I hate you sometimes, Kim Hyeonju.”
Jihyun enters the room after a short while, panting heavily as she does. “Ah, hi,” she waves at you and Seoyeon, “good morning.” “Good morning to you too, sweetie,” Seoyeon replies, “how far did you run?” Jihyun looks at her smartwatch. “Uh, about 3 kilometers.” “Pace?” “Just around 7 minutes per kilometer.” Seoyeon claps her hands in praise. “Great job, Jihyun-ah.” “I would love to hug you, unnie, but I’m so sweaty.” Seoyeon takes off her cardigan and moves to hug Jihyun. “It’s fine, Jihyun-ah.” “You’re the best, unnie.”
“Alright, now that everyone is here,” you stand up from your chair, “I would like to announce some things, so gather around, please.” The trainees take their spots near you, and you feel as if you were a kindergarten teacher right now. “Let’s start with the big one,” you take a deep breath first, “all seven of you are debuting.” Your announcement is met with confused blinks. “Can someone say something, please?” “All of us are debuting, oppa?” Sunbin finally breaks the silence, and you nod in response, letting out a deep exhale in the process. “You heard me right.”
The trainees look at each other, seemingly excited at the prospect of debuting together. Jihyun suddenly stands up in front of the crowd. “That means no one is getting dropped, right?” She looks at you momentarily and looks at her fellow trainees. “C’mon, girls,” she tries firing up her colleagues, “the boss just confirmed that all of us are debuting, so let’s give this our all—we don’t want to disappoint oppa and unnie, do we?”
Sihyeon gets on her feet and walks towards you. “Oppa,” she says softly, “you’re not riling us up for nothing, are you?” You shake your head adamantly to show seriousness. “What would I gain from lying to you, Sihyeon-ah?” You’re taken aback when she suddenly hugs you. “I-I will work hard, oppa—you won’t regret this, I swear!” You pet her back gently. “I know, Miss Kang,” you say, “give this last part of training period your all, okay, and I promise we’ll do our part in return.”
Sihyeon lets go of the hug and changes her target to Seoyeon and in her arms Sihyeon’s wall crumbles, showing everyone present the vulnerability of her gentle heart. “I won’t let you down, unnie—I swear on everything I won’t let you down.” Seoyeon closes her eyes as she tries her hardest to stay solid for Sihyeon. “I know, I know,” she pets her back gently the same way you did, “and I’m certain you will make it to the big stage.”
You fish out a small handkerchief from your back pocket and hand it to Seoyeon, who then uses it to wipe Sihyeon’s tears. “Hey, hey, listen to me,” Seoyeon says, “we’ll be with you every step of the way, Sihyeon-ah, and whenever you’re worried about something, remember that you’re never alone.” Unable to answer, the crying girl resorts to nodding, and Seoyeon gives her one last pet on the back before letting go.
“Girls,” Seoyeon takes command despite her glassy eyes, “we believe in you, the same way you believed in us when we first took you in as trainees, so please, let’s work hard together and make this dream come true—am I understood?” “Yes, unnie!”
-
It is when you and Seoyeon reach the privacy of your office that she starts breaking down, no longer able to keep herself together. “I love them, oppa,” she begins, “I-I love them like an older sister.” You pull her into a hug and place a hand on the back of her head. “I know, sweetie, and I’m so glad that they have someone like you by their side.” Her wails become louder as her hands hang on to your hoodie tightly to keep you as close as possible. “I-I want a raise, oppa.” You burst out laughing. “Of course, sweetie; I’ll give you a raise soon, okay?”
You stay with Seoyeon until her benevolent heart calms down and her beautiful eyes stop letting out tears. “You’re such a kind person, aren’t you, love?” She lets out a whimper into your chest. “People love you for your kindness, love—you know that, right?” “Yes,” her voice is muffled by your body. You peck her on the top of her head once. “I will never let you go, love; my world would lose its light if you were to leave me.” “I-I won’t—" A sniffle interrupts her. “I won’t leave you forever, oppa.”
You walk backwards and drag her along towards your seat. “Let’s have a seat for a moment, ‘kay?” Your girlfriend nods into your chest, still not willing to look at you in the eyes. “You’re safe here, love; you’re safe with me.”
Seoyeon suddenly lifts her chin and meets your gaze with eyes that are red from the wave of tears. “I love you, oppa.” “Oh, baby,” you chuckle a little, “I love you so, so, so much, too.” “How much?” “I know you don’t like it when I say that I’d die for you, so instead, I’ll say that I love you so much that I want to be healthy all the time so that I can always be with you.” She beams in satisfaction. “Great answer, oppa.”
The bell to your office rings, and you expect Seoyeon to jump off your lap, but no, she still stays seated on you. “You can answer it, oppa.”
You press a button on your desk to unlock the door, and it swings open soon after, thus revealing Dayeon who is dressed in a dance practice attire. “Oh, am I interrupting?” You shake your head. “Can I help you?” “The girls told me about your plan to debut all of them.” “Are you here to share your opinion, then?” “Yes, kind of,” she says, “I think it was wise to tell them now; I can feel the hopefulness in the air.” “My sweet Seoyeon-ie here deserves the credit; it was her idea to announce the plan to the trainees.” Dayeon nods before closing the door and disappearing behind it.
“Oppa,” Seoyeon taps your nape to get your attention, “can we go home now? Let’s leave the trainees with Dayeon-ie.” “Don’t you want to get breakfast before we head home?” She nods against your left cheek. “I want some bubble waffles, oppa.”
-
While you wait for the bubble waffles to be made, Seoyeon is at the nearby convenience store to get some stuff.
“Would you like to add anything to the other waffle?” “Can I have some peanut butter on the side, please?” The staff nods and fills two small cups with peanut butter, as you’ve requested.
As timing would have it, Seoyeon is walking out of the convenience store right as you’re making your way towards it. “Bag secured, baby,” you show her the plastic bag, “we can go home now.” “Of course you got peanut butter,” she comments. “You know me.”
Seoyeon wraps an arm around yours as the two of you walk towards your car. “Do you want to eat in the car, or?” “No, let’s eat at home.”
-
You sit on the sofa with Seoyeon as soon as you enter your apartment. “Here’s yours, baby,” you hand over the cookie-and-cream waffle. “Oppa, don’t eat all your peanut butter; I want some too later.” You guess that she wants to balance the sweetness of her waffle with some peanut butter, so you make sure you don’t use all of it for yourself.
Your girlfriend only eats about half of her waffle before putting it down on the table. “Bedroom,” she says suddenly, “right meow.” “O…kay?” She urges you to go first and says that she’ll join you after drinking some water. “I’ll be waiting for you, baby.”
You promptly begin scratching your head as soon as you climb onto the bed, confused as to why Seoyeon suddenly wants to go the bedroom so early in the day. “She probably wants to cuddle,” you guess.
“Oh, hi, mister,” she walks into the bedroom with urgency, “you know what I want, don’t you?” “Erm, cuddle?” “Cuddle, he says—God, he’s so clueless sometimes,” she thinks, finding your cluelessness both funny and (mildly) annoying. “Yeah, I do want a cuddle.”
You lie flat in the center of the bed and spread your limbs apart, inviting Seoyeon to take her rightful spot, and once she lies on top of your body, you use your limbs to secure her in place. “Like this, my love?” She wiggles a bit to get you to loosen up a little. “It’s perfect now.”
“Hey, so, uh, why are we here?” Seoyeon grunts. “What, you don’t like cuddling anymore?” “C’mon, baby; I didn’t say that, did I? I’m just curious, y’know.” You’re confused when she begins grinding her crotch against yours. “It was supposed to be a segue to sex, but now that you’re asking, we might as well start now.” “Baby, it’s not even 10 yet.” Seoyeon breaks free from your limbs and moves to sit on your stomach. “Surely you’re not denying me sexual pleasures, are you?” You sigh deeply. “No, I’m not; I would never.”
Seoyeon rewards your correct answer with a steamy kiss that helps you get hard. Unfortunately, though, it’s getting a bit painful since these boxers and joggers aren’t the stretchiest. “Babe,” you call to her, “take off my pants, please.” “Of course, daddy.”
She grabs the waistband of your joggers and hooks her fingers to the inside so that she can pull down your boxers at the same time. “My, my, you’re excited to see me, aren’t you?” You nod as she begins stroking your cock. “You know I’m always excited for you.”
To your absolute surprise, Seoyeon pulls out the cup of peanut butter from her shorts pocket. “Remember this, daddy?” You keep your eyes on her as she coats the tip of your cock with peanut butter and spreads it along your length. “Look at this, daddy,” she keeps stroking your shaft to make sure it’s evenly coated, “this is going to taste so good.”
You let out a big exhale when Seoyeon takes your peanut butter-coated cock in her mouth, and she exclaims at the taste. You jolt a little when you feel her tongue running wild on the underside of your cock. “Oh, God, I won’t last if you do it like that, baby.”
After a few minutes of bobbing her head on your cock, Seoyeon taps your thigh to get your attention. “Wook aw we,” she mumbles. Once you look at her, she starts going down on your cock even further until its entirety disappears in her mouth. “Oh, you’re fucking crazy,” you’re breathless at this point, “fuck, your throat is going to get stretched, baby.”
Seoyeon comes up air after having had her airway blocked by your cock. “That was so good, daddy; the peanut butter added some extra flavors.” You nod weakly. “I-I’m glad, baby.” She climbs onto the bed and lies down next to you. “Your turn, daddy,” she pulls out another cup of peanut butter—the one that you ate out of less than an hour ago—and places it on your chest. “Gladly.”
With half a cup of peanut butter in hand, you pull Seoyeon by her legs towards you until her legs hang past the edge of the bed. “You know where this is going, don’t you?” Seoyeon nods. “Tell me, then, baby.” “Y-you will smear peanut butter over my pink pussy and eat me out until I squirt all over your face.” She rarely talks about herself in such a manner, and hearing it arouses you even more. “That’s correct, baby.”
You get on your knees, and Seoyeon’s shiny pussy is right in front of your eyes. She jolts when you place a finger on her nub. “Aww, sensitive much?” She nods. “P-please, daddy, make me feel good.”
You use your index and middle fingers to pick up some peanut butter and spread it crassly on Seoyeon’s pussy, and she keeps moaning as you do it. “Oh, this is going to taste so good,” you use her line against her. “D-don’t say it like—oh, God, daddy.” Seoyeon immediately clamps your head with her thick thighs, and you swear that they cancel noises better than any fancy Sony headphones in your collection.
You continue administering stimulation on her pussy, earning endless sensual moans from your girlfriend, and at this moment, you’re glad your parents have inherited their love for peanut butter onto you. “D-daddy,” her voice is barely heard, “d-daddy, I’m about to cum.”
You pick up the intensity of the cunnilingus as you’re highly enthused to make her finish; your tongue runs all over her pussy while occasionally sucking and nibbling her nub. Seoyeon places a hand on the back of your head while using the other hand to play with her plump tits for extra stimulation.
You’re surprised when Seoyeon’s juice suddenly hits you in the face, but you manage to open your mouth just in time to catch some of them. Unable to speak, you tap her thigh to get her attention. “W-what?” You swallow her juice that’s pooled in your mouth in one go, and Seoyeon lets out a chuckle. “You’re insane, daddy.”
You use some wet wipes to clean yourself and your girlfriend. “T-thank you, daddy.” You peck her on the forehead. “No, baby, thank you—I hope this is enough for now, though.” She nods. “It should be.”
Seoyeon climbs onto your body when you lie on the bed. “D-daddy,” she moves on to a different subject, “do you—erm, do you like my body?” You’re both startled and confused. “What is that question, babe?” “I mean, I-I’m not as fit as Dayeon-ie—I think her tits are also bigger than mine.” Your jaw drops due to the absurdity. “When have I compared you to her, hm?” “J-just answer the question, daddy.”
You take a deep breath as you formulate an answer for your girlfriend. “First of all, I love your physique because you’re thick on the right spots. Number two, you’re very tight, both the front and the back.” “Really?” You scoff. “Do you not remember how I busted early when we first did anal?” Seoyeon giggles. “That virgin ass was too much for your mighty cock, wasn’t it, daddy?” “Oh, for sure.”
Based on her smile, you estimate that she’s satisfied with your answer. “Baby, look,” you say, “you know I’m not a fan of talking about a girl’s body like that, but I hope you understand what I was trying to say.” She nods. “I-I just needed some boost to my confidence, daddy, and you delivered just that.” You give her a peck on the lips. “I’m glad I could help.”
Seoyeon straightens her posture. “Can I have this, daddy?” She asks as she starts stroking your cock again. “Are you desperate for it?” “Oh, c’mon, you know I can’t have enough of you, and I know you can’t have enough of me.” You chuckle. “That’s one way to put it.”
Your girlfriend lifts her butt of your lap and— “Oh, fuck, you’re in my ass, daddy.” “Yeah?” You can only say one word as you fight her constraining asshole. “You’re so big in my ass, daddy—fuck, you’re stretching me like crazy.” You reach around to spank her. “Ride my cock, baby.” “Y-yes, sir.”
Seoyeon plants her hands on your chest and begins moving up and down at a relaxed pace on your cock, savoring the sensation of getting stretched that is almost too much for her. “N-no one can do it like I can, right, daddy?” You’re about to open your mouth when she piles on another question. “No one can take you in the ass as well as I can, right, daddy?” “Yes, and yes,” you say, “no one can do it like you can, and no one else deserves me like you do.”
Seoyeon rewards your correct answers (again) by picking up the pace of her bounces, and you can’t help but let go of the controls of the session. “Just like that, baby—exactly like that,” you make sure the praises are flowing without hindrance. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” curses are flowing out of Seoyeon’s lips without hindrance—quite the contrast with you, but it’s no secret that opposites attract like crazy.
“D-daddy,” she’s showing signs of exhaustion, “t-take over, please—take over and fuck me like you always do.” You pull her into an embrace and roll over so that you’re on top. “Are you going to tap out like last time?” “Hold me down and force me to take it, daddy—I’m your slut.” That’s quite the nasty term, but at this moment, it only adds to your arousal. Your giggle sounds like a movie villain’s. “Alright, bet.”
You hold her legs and fold them over her body. “You’re going to take it like a good slut, aren’t you?” Seoyeon nods. “F-fuck—OH, FUCK ME, DADDY!” The bedroom is getting filled with screams and moans from your girlfriend and heavy grunts from you as you pound her ass without mercy.
Seoyeon’s eyes start rolling backwards as time goes, completely in submission to your cock. A particular thrust messes up your hair, thus disrupting your vision of your girlfriend. You stop momentarily to tidy up, and while you’re at it, you take a moment to check up on her. “You okay, baby?” She nods weakly. “M-my ass is going to be so sore,” she says weakly.
With your hair tidied up, you start moving again at a pace that’s similar prior to the pause. “Ngh, ngh, ngh.” Only these sounds come out of Seoyeon’s mouth as you fuck her ass restlessly to chase an orgasm. In her head, she’s praying that it’s good enough for you, considering that she can’t help but be passive in this position. “Daddy is using me,” these words keep going around in her head endlessly, but she must admit, anal sex offers much more sensation; the pain, the tightness, and the stretch are different than vaginal sex.
With a grunt, you lodge your cock as deep as you can into her ass and blow a massive load right into her. “B-baby,” you’re breathless again, “I love you so, so, so much.” “Have mercy,” she weakly replies. When you retreat from her ass, it leaks out some excess cum onto the bed, but that’s fine, you can just swap the sheets. “Are you okay, baby—are you hurt?” Seoyeon shakes her head. “I-I need some water, though.”
-
You’re sitting at the desk in your bedroom while Seoyeon (who is still naked) is lying in bed and is on her phone, scrolling through social media.
“Babe,” you call to her, “Jihyun-ie is video-calling me.” “Why?” “I don’t know,” you’re as clueless as she is. Seoyeon sits on your lap and tilts the webcam upwards so that it doesn’t pick up her nude form. “Accept it, oppa; I want to hear what she has to say.”
“Oh my God, you’re both here!” You see that it’s actually Hyeonju and Sunwoo, the latter holding a guitar. “Oh, you two are really dating, huh?” You chuckle. “What would I gain from lying to you, Miss Kim?”
“Wait, Seoyeon-unnie,” Sunwoo says, “you’re not naked, are you—I can see your bare shoulder, you know.” Seoyeon looks away momentarily before winking at Sunwoo, and she’s met with exclaims of disbelief from the two girls. “I really shouldn’t have asked that, huh?” “No, but it’s okay; me and oppa are consenting adults.”
“So, to what do we owe this call, girls?” Hyeonju fights the heat in her cheeks and says that her and Sunwoo would like to give you a present in the form of some song covers. “We practiced this afternoon, oppa,” she adds. You look at Seoyeon through the screen and see that she’s excited to hear them sing. “Sounds great—we’re ready when you are.”
Sunwoo starts playing the guitar to signal to Hyeonju that she’s ready, and Hyeonju starts bopping her head as she gets ready to sing. “Feel free to sing along, boss,” she says right before it’s time to sing.
私は私 貴方は貴方と (I am only me, you are only you)
昨夜言ってた そんな気もするわ (I said that last night and still feel the same way)
グレイのジャケットに (You in your gray jacket)
見覚えがある コーヒーのしみ (With that familiar coffee stain)
相変らずなのね (Just as you always are)
ショーウィンドウに 二人映れば (Our reflection in the display window)
You know this song so well; at some point in your university life, you and your friends were obsessed with this song and listened to it so frequently, but Seoyeon doesn’t know what song this is. “I’ll tell you more about it later,” you whisper to her as you get ready to sing along.
Stay with me~
真夜中のドアをたたき (Knocking on Midnight’s door)
帰らないでと泣いた (Begging you to not go home)
あの季節が 今 目の前 (That season when I cried right in front of your eyes)
Stay with me~
口ぐせを言いながら (Saying our favorite words)
二人の瞬間を抱いて (Holding on to our little moment)
まだ忘れず 大事にしていた (I’ll never forget it as long as I live)
You clap your hands loudly in praise and awe when Hyeonju stops singing. “Oh my God, Kim Hyeonju,” you say, your tone high in excitement, “you absolutely killed that cover—goodness me!” “You know that song, boss?” You roll your eyes playfully. “That should be my question—how do you know that song that’s older than your parents, hm?” Hyeonju laughs. “I stumbled upon it when I was scrolling the internet,” she gives a very typical today’s kid’s answer. “I was obsessed with that song when I was in university, you know.”
Seoyeon taps your forearm. “What song was that, oppa?” “Girls, your Seoyeon-unnie doesn’t know what song it was,” you tease her, “the song is called Mayonaka no Door, sweetie, sung by the legendary Miki Matsubara and was released in 1979.” Her jaw drops. “Oh my God, that’s a long time ago.” You nod. “That’s why I wondered how Hyeonju and Sunwoo knew about this song.”
Hyeonju asks for your attention, citing that she and Sunwoo are ready to present the second song cover for you and Seoyeon. “Ah, I know this one,” Seoyeon comments when Sunwoo starts playing her guitar.
네가 날 싫어해하는 걸 알아 (I know that you hate me)
나는 서운해 (I’m sad)
그런 날 왜 너는 못 이해해 (Why can’t you understand me?)
You don’t understand, 난 너를 좋아한다고 (You don’t understand, I like you)
You have a big grin on your face, expecting Sunwoo and Hyeonju to share the lines like the original artists, and true enough, they are.
내가 뭘 잘못했는데 (What did I do wrong?)
내게 왜 그러는데 (Why are you doing this to me)
그럴수록 난 되게 섭섭해 (The more you do that, the sadder I get) Oh I’m so sad
그러니까 슬슬 (So let me slowly) come into your heart
마음 중요한 건 마음 (The important thing is the heart)
결코 네 얼굴만 보고 좋아하는 거 — 아니 아니야 (I’m not liking you just for your face—no, no)
날 미워하는 너의 날이 선 말투까지도 (Even your sharp words that hate on me)
사랑하게 된 거 이게 내 맘이야 (I came to love them, this is my heart)
Just like before, you clap your hands loudly in praise. “Great job, girls,” you add, “wow, you’re great at this.” “We told you we wouldn’t let you down, didn’t we, boss?” You can hear the pride in Sunwoo’s voice. “Oh, that you did, Sunwoo-yah, and trust me when I say that I’m anything but disappointed right now.”
You’re interrupted when Seoyeon suddenly kisses you in front of the girls, and you can hear their loud, surprised exclaim through the video call—this is the first time she has committed a public display of affection with you. “Oh my God, you two are so in love,” Sunwoo comments. “You have no idea,” Seoyeon says after breaking the kiss, “oppa is such an amazing boyfriend for me.” “Promise us you’ll invite us to your wedding, unnie,” Sunwoo adds, thus making Seoyeon laugh. She leans closer towards the camera, presumably to whisper something into the microphone. “Hey, uh, don’t tell anyone yet, but the wedding is closer than you think.” You’re met with another loud scream from the other side of the screen.
You tap her back to get her attention. “You think so, baby?” You speak quietly so that the microphone doesn’t pick up your voice. “Oh, I know so,” she says, “I’m going to make you mine, oppa.” Another grin decorates your face.
“And you’re going to be mine forever, baby girl.”
#girl group smut#kpop smut#kpop fanfic#kpop fanfiction#male reader#male reader smut#smut#triples smut
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Rise and Spit [Part 3] - A Mouthwashing AU
Behold, Chapter 3! Finally, Swansea makes his speaking debut.
Check it out on AO3 right here!
Content Warning:
General Jimmy Behvaior.
Word Count: 2,400
If Curly could be thankful about one thing, it would be that at least Jimmy seems to have lost interest in him.
While yes, him giving Curly pills continued to be awful and a dreaded part of his day, Jimmy seemed much more preoccupied with other things as of late.
Mainly, getting into the Utility room.
He had rambled about it for a long time during his last visit. Ranted about Swansea “scheming” behind his back, and that he needed to know what he and Anya were hiding in Utility.
“How did you deal with ants scheming behind your back, Curly?” Jimmy asked that so casually. Curly never really knew what Jimmy wanted from him when he did that. An answer? Wasn’t going to happen at the best of times, much less when Jimmy has shoved his hand down his neck.
Curly wished his body had the strength to bite through Jimmy’s fingers. He’d been getting much more bold with them recently. Seeing how far he could shove them down before he caused Curly to wretch. Seeing how long they could stay there until the captain needed to breathe.
He hated it. Even with the small blessing that Jimmy didn’t visit as often as he did, it didn’t change how much he had come to dread his friend’s presence.
The worst part is he didn’t know how much Jimmy actually meant to do that. How much of this was malice, how much was a need for control, how much of this was frustration?
Curly didn’t really think it mattered anymore.
Take responsibility
Maybe it never mattered in the first place.
“Were they this unruly when you were captain? And I just didn’t notice?”
No. Just you.
“I know they’re plotting something. But I can’t get in to find out. Swansea has the keys and the ax. Maybe I could get Daisuke’s help. Unless there’s some secret Captain knowledge I need to pry from you again.”
Curly shook his head. He’d learned by this point. Learned to answer Jimmy’s questions as best he could. It was the fastest way he’d get left alone.
“I need to find the gun. Where’d you put it?”
Curly shook his head again. He still had no clue where Anya had hidden it.
“Figures. Useless. There’s only two reasons to keep you alive at this point. Being useful I guess just isn’t one of them. Guess you’re pretty lucky you’re my best friend, Curly. That’s reason enough for me. I’m going to save you. And I’m going to make things right. If only the others would just fucking cooperate.”
Curly felt sick hearing Jimmy call him his friend. How could he…? After everything, how could he have the nerve?
He supposed with the same nerve that let him look Anya in the eye each and every day.
“Hey Curly. When was the last time you had actual food?”
Curly shrugged. Probably since before the crash if he had to guess. There was no way his body could handle the ordeal of chewing and swallowing and digesting food at that point. He’d probably just vomit it all back up if he had to guess.
“Hmm. I’ll have to look into that.”
That didn’t sit well with Curly. It left him staring at where Jimmy was, even when the man himself had long since left.
Curly wished he knew where everyone was. But the Med Bay was his whole world these days. With only a small window whenever the door to the Lounge and Med Bay were open at the same time. Flashes of the same artificial orange light of the window screen.
Sometimes he saw Daisuke and Swansea chatting about something or other. Sometimes he saw Anya pacing back and forth. Sometimes he saw Jimmy whipped up in some rant.
His windows were brief. But he supposed they’d have to be enough for now.
It wasn’t very long (he thought) before the door opened again. Curly had expected Anya, or maybe even Daisuke since he’d been coming to chatter with him more often.
He was partially correct.
Anya was there. And so was Swansea.
“No kidding? It’s here?”
“As long as he didn’t find it.”
What were they…?
Curly watched as Anya mostly ignored him, instead squatting to reach a drawer under his bed. She fiddled with some lock or another before it slid open.
Son of a bitch.
The gun.
Curly couldn’t help but wheeze a little laugh. It was right here. Right here the whole time. Anya had it the whole time, and Jimmy was too blind to think to look here.
“What are you laughing at?”
Curly’s little moment of pride for Anya died pretty quickly under Swansea’s glare. The older man looked at him like scum.
He knows he deserved that.
“We’ll deal with you later. Just stay out of the way. You’re good at that.”
Yeah, he absolutely deserved that.
“Swansea…” Anya looked at the mechanic pleadingly. Curly and Swansea stared at each other before Swansea huffed and turned to look down at her.
“Just… Let’s get this figured out first. So you have no clue about the lock?”
“I know there’s a code, but Jimmy has the code scanner. Not even sure where I’d find that written down, even if I had it.”
“Damn. Okay, are you sure we can’t just break it open with the ax?”
“Curly said it was designed to be break resistant. We’d probably just dull the ax doing that.”
Curly listened as his crewmates speculated. The code… He knew the code. Or, he thought he did… If Anya didn’t know the code, then she couldn’t have changed it, right?
He couldn’t speak… At least not enough to make numbers come out of his mouth. He looked around himself, trying to find anything, anything at all he could use to communicate…
As insulting as the implication was, he really could use Jimmy’s button wall idea right about now.
And then he looked at the window screen. And his own arm.
This was going to hurt.
I hope this hurts.
With as much force as he could, he started hitting the screen with the stump of his wrist, trying to make a noise.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Just getting that first number out caused waves of agony to shoot up and down his arm and shoulder. He wanted to scream. Maybe the screaming would get their attention.
But it also very well could get Jimmy’s.
Curly looked back towards Anya and Swansea. The two were still murmuring amongst each other. Anya’s eyes flicked from the box to Curly, a worried look on her face.
The captain cursed internally.
He groaned. Gargled as loud a voice as he could muster. Anything to get their attention.
Swansea sighed. “You just got your medicine, we saw Jim leave this place 20 minutes ago. What’s wrong now?”
“Swansea” Anya scolded. “He’s still my patient. Do you need something, Curly?”
Curly tried banging on the screen again.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
“Curly, stop that, you’ll only hurt yourself doing that. Do you need something?”
“We’re trying to think here. You making that kinda racket isn’t helping.”
Curly desperately shook his head and did it again. Maybe if he did it all in one go…
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
“Curly, stop-”
He shook his head and paused.
1, 2, 3
Swansea reached to try and stop him, but he held his other arm out to keep him at a distance. He paused again, bracing himself for the last digit. Of course it had to be the highest number on the lock.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
“Wait…” Anya looked between Curly and the lock box. “Was… Was that the code? Curly, was that the code?”
Curly makes a noise of affirmation, nodding his head as best he can. His arm is in agony, what’s left of his wrist starting to bleed, but he can hardly care.
He tapped on the window screen the sequence one more time, now that he knew for sure they were paying attention. It left blood marks on the staticy sunset, but that hardly mattered. He didn’t take his eye off of Anya the entire time.
“7, 3, 9. That’s it, that’s the code!” Anya made a triumphant little noise as the safety box clicked open. She made short work of sorting out the gun and the bullets, hiding it away in her jacket.
Curly nods, letting his arm finally fall back down, letting it hang off the bed as it drips a little bit of blood onto the Med Bay floor. Anya looked at the bruised limb and the smeared blood on the screen, darkening the orange light with dark red.
“Captain… Curly, why did you do that…?”
The Captain couldn’t look at Anya. What was there to say?
I had to help!
Well, then why did it take him so long to do so?
I want Jimmy stopped as much as you do!
How can he possibly say that after everything he let slip? That he only cares about it now that he’s being affected too?
I want to apologize…
She didn’t need an apology from him now, she needed him to do something, anything, before.
In the end, Curly didn’t make a coherent answer. He just made a soft noise and nodded at Anya. He hoped with all his being she could feel a fraction of the apology it was meant to be. And he wanted now more than ever to make his ruined voice make words.
“It doesn’t matter right now,” Swansea said. “Right now, we both have a weapon. We need to make our move, before that rat gets any other stupid ideas. Anya, are you clear on the plan?”
Anya had a look in her eyes. A worried one. Like she was bracing herself for something.
Swansea put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Hey. You know you don’t have to do this, right? If you want, you can lock yourself in here, and I’ll take care of it.”
Anya seemed to think about it for a second before shaking her head. “No. No, I have to help. I need to do this. For me.”
“Atta girl. Go get something to eat. I’ll be right behind you.”
Anya gave a worried glance over to Curly and his bleeding arm. “I should patch him up first. He did help get the case open.”
Swansea gives Curly a look of consideration.
“...Fair’s fair, I guess. Do what you need to do. I’ll watch the door.”
Curly didn’t want to admit how much he missed her touch. Or, maybe it was just a gentle touch in general. So he made sure to savor the moment, of Anya diligently reapplying bandages to his arm, stopping the bleeding, and giving him another once over.
“That should do for now… Try and take it easy Curly. Okay?”
Curly nodded, hoping that she’s at least understanding his gratitude.
“Now you need to eat,” Swansea insisted at Anya. “Go. I’ll wrap things up here.”
“Okay. Thank you, Swansea. For everything.”
“Eh, don’t mention it. You and Daisuke just need to keep each other busy and let me work when this is all over, got it?”
Anya rolled her eyes and smiled a little.
“Yeah yeah, we will. But I better not catch you drinking mouthwash again. That was the deal, yeah?”
“Fine. If we get out of this mess.”
Anya gave Swansea a little peck on the cheek before leaving for the Lounge.
Curly could feel the older man’s eyes on him. And the withering glare returned. He wanted to hide under the bed somehow. Or disappear into that broken vent.
“So what. You suddenly care now?”
Curly turned his head to meet the glare. He looked at the ax firmly in Swansea’s grasp. He knew he deserved this.
Take responsibility.
“Didn’t seem to give a shit when you could actually be helpful. Change of heart or something? Or is it because you need her to stay alive?”
Curly shook his head at that last accusation.
“Jesus Christ.” Curly’s world shifted as he was pulled up by the collar of his hospital gown. His breathing tightened as he looked into Swansea’s eyes. “Listen to me you little coward. All this shit is on your hands. You got us into this mess. You might not have been the one to hurt Anya directly, but she sure as shit is still hurt by you. If it were up to me, I would’ve stuck this ax in your head and put you out of your misery.”
Swansea moved closer suddenly. Too suddenly. Curly flinched as much as his body would allow, his mind replacing Swansea’s face with someone else’s.
I hope this hurts
Take responsibility
The motion made the old man pause for a moment. His face was still furious. But… something, for a moment, softened. Swansea, instead of just dropping him, gently set the captain back down.
“But it ain’t up to me, at least not entirely. Daisuke’s too much of a god damn good person to want to ax you. And Anya…”
Curly stared at Swansea as he seemed deep in thought.
“...Anya’s not sure what she wants to do with you yet. Maybe you won her favor just now. Maybe she doesn’t wanna waste anymore energy on you. I dunno. But whatever it is she wants to do, I’ll do it. But I want you to know something. Whatever she decides, don’t go looking to me for help. You’re not worth it.”
Curly simply nodded. The motion seemed to surprise Swansea a bit. But what else could he do? He knew it was all true. He wouldn’t blame Anya in the slightest if she decided he was dead weight.
The two men stared at each other for a long time.
“Swansea? Dude, it’s meal time.”
Swansea looked back at Daisuke, standing in the doorway. The kid seemed to look between his mentor and the captain, a nervous expression on his face.
“...Right. Yeah, I’ll be right there.” Swansea looked back down at Curly. “...We’ll see.”
And thus, Curly was alone again. He stared at the ceiling, numb to it all. He knew Swansea was right. He was worse than dead weight. He couldn’t plead his case, even if he wanted to.
And he found that he didn’t.
Anya deserved to be free of the burdens.
All of them.
Curly didn’t know how much time had passed before the door to the Med Bay opened again. “I can’t ever tell if you’re awake or not.”
Please no…
Jimmy closed the door behind him. And he locked it.
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#fanfic#my fanfiction#my writing
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I'm picturing Obi-Wan meeting some of the other clones made for specific jedi on the way back to coruscant and - still overwhelmed and confused and trying not to visibly panic - and suddenly worrying like "shit are they gonna be jealous that Cody met his jedi first will there be issues?" only to find that there's almost no jealousy. Not none, but it's overwhelmed by the mix of joy and longing that comes with knowing they're about to meet their jedi and fulfill their given purpose as protectors. He doesn't know whether to be relieved or more concerned.
The collective WTF when the council found out resonated around the planet into any nearby ships. The louder WTF once the rest of the jedi learned about it resonated throughout the entire system.
Twist The Madness
Master Sifo-Dyas is the change point in this little bit of madness.
In canon Sifo-Dyas is the Jedi that commissioned the Clone Army, driven mad by visions of a war that would destroy the Jedi, of the Jedi temple burning. It is unclear if he was seeing the results of the Clone Wars and Order 66 (thus, like Anakin, created the visions that drove him mad) or if he prevented his visions and Order 66 was something different entirely. It is also unclear if he was patsy of the Sith from the beginning, or if his plan was hijacked by the Sith at a later point.
But what if his takeaway from his visions and the madness they drove him to was just a bit different. Not an army, but protectors.
Sifo-Dyas still commissioned 1 million clones but not all at once. Instead it would be an ongoing order for generations. The initial amount decanted would be 100,000 clones, most would grow at a double rate until they reach physical adulthood, then their aging would be slowed to normal for near humans. Their training would be generalized and the calling they would be raised with would be to protect the Jedi Temples. The intention being that they would be spread throughout the active temples and live amongst the Jedi there. Approximately 10,000 had a slightly different charge. Each would be raised for a specific Jedi, their genetics tweaked so that they would be a perfect companion and protector (including aging the clone to either adulthood or to match their assigned Jedi and then matching their aging to their Jedi).
Jango Fett is still contracted to be the progenitor for the clones, but not because of his ability to kill Force Users. Instead it is his genetics themselves that separates him out from other bounty hunters. Due to the crossbreeding of his ancestors, his genetic code is particularly malleable, meaning that the genetic modifications needed to match Clone to a specific Jedi are that much easier. He was not expected to provide training, thus he simply provided generic material (enough over the course of one year for all 1 million clones in the order), is paid a massive amount of credits plus 1 son (Boba) and leaves; he has no idea that this order is for the Jedi.
At his request there is a specific genetic marker that is artificially added to all of the clones but Boba so that none of them can claim to be him or his son. He also signs a truly impressive number of agreements that released him from responsibility for the clones AND guaranteed that he knew that he was being cloned (Look, realistically the ethical issue with cloning a sentient being centers around the being being cloned, not the clones themselves; the ethical issues with the clones and their sentience is sentient trafficking).
I want it to be clear here. Sifo-dyas was still driven to madness before he commissioned the clones. He and master Dooku were working together on this project, sharing the madness. Dooku does not fall to the darkside here, though he does still leave the Jedi Order. Though their machinations see that the Clones on the whole are treated better, as they are meant to be companions and protectors of the Jedi, the clones are very much being raised for a destiny that they were not able to choose (with all the ethical issues that come with that). There is a heavy focus and even heavier propaganda throughout the clones' childhood of how they are, in a very real sense, being raised for the Jedi. It is also very heavily referenced that the Jedi as a whole do not know about the Clone yet, since they were a surprise.
The 10,000 who were being raised for a specific Jedi grew up with every piece of information that could be found about their Jedi. Their training was tailored to the Jedid they were assigned to. The information/propaganda/brainwashing was so specific for these 10,000 that after about the age of 3 chronologically, (a variety of ages physically, though age 6 is the most common for the clone that are meant to go to the adult Jedi), the clones whose Jedi died before they could meet could not be retrained. Instead their fellow clones consider them to be a living memorial for the lost Jedi (It is a really weird cultural development, but both Sifo-Dyas and Dooku allow it-They want the Clones as a culture to be in a symbiotic relationship with the Jedi and this fit in with that).
Sifo-Dyas’s plan did derail Dooku’s fall entirely, instead of causing Sifo-dyas’s death Dooku ghosted Palpatine around the time of the Naboo invasion. It never occurs to Dooku to let anyone know that Palpatine is a Sith.
Fast forward about 10 years, Dooku and Sifo-Dyas construct a far too complicated, dramatic plan to lure Obi Wan to Kamino. As far as they are concerned it is only right that Obi Wan gets ‘his’ clone protector, Cody, first (as Dooku’s grand padawan). It actually somewhat mirrors cannon, in that Anakin is sent on a mission to escort Senator Padme Amidala to Naboo (this is actually a separate plan by Palptine, who is trying to corrupt Anakin.In this Padme has been little more than a puppet for Palpatine for years-Her will is so strong that she has retained little bits of her own sense of self, as long as Palpatine is not in the equation but nothing like what she should have been) alone, as a test to see how ready he is to take his trials. Dooku then hires a bounty hunter, not Jango Fett, to lure Obi Wan to Kamino.
Obi Wan is met on Kamino by the Kaminoans first but also an all but visibly vibrating Cody. This Cody is radiating adoration and glee into the Force at finally meeting ‘his’ Jedi. It should be noted that Cody’s presence in the Force could not have been more perfect for Obi Wan. Cody gives the full tour to a mildly shellshocked Obi Wan; including introducing him to Rex, who has been raised for Anakin (I debated Rex going to Anakin or Ahsoka, but ultimately decided that Echo and Fives (together as twins) were meant for Ahsoka). They end the tour with a meeting with Dooku and Sifo Dyas who explain the clones.
Now Dooku and Sifo-Dyas deliberately have Cody stay while they explain who and what the clones were meant to be. Obi Wan already does not want to hurt Cody and there are only so many ways one can say ‘What the fuck do you mean cloned protectors?’ and all of them could be read as a rejection of the clones themselves. Dooku also manages to make it clear to Obi Wan without stating it outright, thus in Obi Wan’s eyes leaving Cody in the dark, that if the Jedi Order rejects the clones they (the clones) will all be killed as defective.
So now Obi Wan gets to make a very carefully worded call to the Jedi High Council about the new 100,000 lives they need to become responsible for (who will be murdered if they don’t), of which about 10,000 have been brainwashed so thoroughly that barring them from ‘their Jedi’ might actually cause very real psychological harm. Also politically the Jedi appears to have just acquired an army, possibly of slaves.
Like, even without the war, the sheer magnitude of What the Fuck that comes with ‘These people think we own them, their entire sense of self rests on how well they serve us. How do we tell them we don’t without breaking their sense of self’. Also being told that Dooku and Sifo-Dyas, who have not technically broken any laws(they used Dooku’s money instead of the Jedi’s so there is not even any fraud), would continue to have the Kaminoans produce clones and give them to the Jedi Order until the 1 million already paid for have been decanted.
I am just saying, everyone on the high council needed to take a minute. Obi Wan also needed to take a minute. Oddly enough Obi Wan’s minute of panic came just before Anakin would have slaughtered the Tuskens (Controlled Padme was under orders to get Anakin in as many situations as possible that would cause him to reach for the dark. Including following a vision of his mother dying). That moment of panic disrupted the rage and pain enough that Anakin did not reach for the dark side or slaughter the Tuskens. He escaped with his mothers body instead.
They manage to get all 100,000 clones back to the Coruscant Temple without causing a panic or a diplomatic incident with the Senate (in spite of Palpatine watching like a hawk for anything he could use to discredit the Jedi, after his most reliable source of information ghosted him). Then the Jedi made a point of asking each and every clone what they actually wanted to do (they were truly at a loss as to what else to do). Of the 90,000 generally trained, about 500 did not want to be protectors of the Jedi. As the Jedi’s response is immediately ‘Do you know what you want to do? If not, we can help you figure it out. We can get you education and whatever resources you want to pursue your dream’ with the manic air of someone who really wants help but has no idea how to, caused the remaining 89,500 generally trained clones to not just cement but weld their loyalties to the Jedi. Like they were all ready to die for the Jedi before, because of propaganda, but now that they were even more amazing than the Clones had thought…now the loyalty of these clones is that much deeper (frankly the Jedi remain worried about this). For the 10,000 clones that were trained for specific Jedi, they actually had to stop asking because without fail the thought of not being able to protect ‘their’ Jedi led to a panic attack.
So now we have the Jedi who have kinda been forced to accept these protectors and companions. The adult Jedi are working really hard to figure out a balance between trying to break the brainwashing and letting the clones have the autonomy to act on their own desires (since their desires are ‘protect the Jedi’). The children in the Creche were simply introduced to their companions with the hope that being raised together can mitigate some of the training (This also means that the creche and classes have to be rapidly adjusted so that they can accommodate the clones as well).
For some angsty flavor, we see the Jedi coming to love (romantic, familial, sexual, platonic, or other) their Clone companions and being constantly beset by thought of ‘how can I act on these feelings, they don’t have a choice’ and ‘they think the belong to me…?’. And as far as the clones are concerned everything that their Jedi does reinforces how they are deserving of the clones' loyalty and love.
Note: I do want you all to know that sudden addition of Rex following Anakin around AND the lack of war did derail Anidala before it began
#wait do dooku and sifo-dyas have companions?#and so we know what happens to jedi who die before the clones are introduces#but like#what happens if the jedi in question leaves the order?#do dooku and sifo-dyas keep them around cause the jedi could come back and it'd be a waste to kill them?#or is there stigma because their jedi is no longer a jedi?#just imagining the angst of the jedi like#trying to deal with the fact that#2 of them went nuts and had an army literally fucking built to protect them#trained and brainwashed for years#and they have no fucking clue how to handle it#and on the other hand#their survival rate suddenly goes way up because having well-trained backup is really helpful#and they really care about the clones even if some of them intitially try not to because they're freaked out and scared#but the ethical QUANDRY#maybe there's at least a couple that don't exactly nope the fuck out#(the council makes it VERY clear that they had no clue and donn't condone the mad jedis' actions)#but they do basically avoid the temple and by extension the clone trained for them and basically put off meeting them for as long as possib#in a combination of 'i canNOT handle this for various reasons'#and 'trying to figure out what the fuck went wrong and if there's any way to help'#the 'rejection by chosen jedi is mentally dangerous' is known or guessed fairly quickly so all of them are trying to come up with#really ggod excuses which works for a while to various degrees#until either the clone in question has a panic attack over 'do they not want me?!?'#or they just go 'fuck this'#and track down their jedi#also#all clones made for a jedi adopt their padawans#jeeze at this rate i chouldve just put it as text not tags#star wars#clone wars
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a no showdown selkie AU does mean that something like this might honestly happen
#pitch posts#tommy's stickmen tag#tommy's aus#tommy's stick!alan#selkie sticks au#alan: these are my children‚ SC and the two infamous criminals who terrorized stick city for years that randomly vanished a few months ago#king is at first deeply concerned that he'd allow them around children#but then you see them interact with SC for two seconds and it's clear they're trying but have No Fucking Clue how to handle a baby sibling#pitch's art
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okay so the Big Kae News is that we officially adopted a dog yesterday! amidst all the current insanity…it’s A Choice, that’s for sure LOL. i’m exhausted (she has a lot of energy), but she’s a darling <3
#i’ll share more info and pics eventually. just trying to get to know her right now :’-) don’t even ask me how i’m going to handle work#with her bc i have no fucking clue LOL#was gonna bring her into the office with me but i don’t think it’s a good idea. she wants to play play play play play play play#anyway this has been in the works for months but it finally happened and we’re a bit overwhelmed
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waded through the wreckage of a house 👍 shits fucked!
#it was a house my parents own and rent out and they sent me to help the tennant#cus shes an old lady and uh. her house has a tree on it.#so that was fun and exciting.#that house is.... totaled.#like SHIT dude.#but now im home again 👍#not that there's a lot to DO at home. so many downed trees and power lines#they're talking about some areas here not getting pretty for up to 3 weeks#im lucky enough i love in the middle of a big city so I'll probably be the one of the first to get power back#either me or the sister closest to me will get it first out of my siblings for sure#since we both live here#the others live in outer cities and towns so they'll probably get theirs back after us#and the sister i don't like has apparently been radio silent since 4am#which isnt. good.#but ill let my parents handle contacting her#I've done my good deed for the day and i went driving with tte crazies already#no stop lights btw!!! every stoplight is out!!!#and most everyone apparently has never fucking seen one cus these people have no clue how to fucking drive#when a stoplight is out!!!#(it's treated like a 4 way stop sign btw. as in right of way goes to whoever got there first OR the person to the left)#(not that any of yhese assholes know that. jesus fuck)#shh ac#hurricane helene
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hate hate hate the feeling of turning in a part of an assignment and being hella embarrased abt how it is :3 like, feeling someone’s just gonna email me like ”hey?? what the fuck ??? what are u doing here this is garbage” like yeah dude i dont know what to tell you, things did not go well this week
#doing one that’s like a bigger thing but has weekly deadlines#and this week hasn’t been good for that so it’s like very fucking pathetic of how little I got done#and it’s all basically shit anyways like i know it doesn’t work and won’t work with the way I’m going about it#also I’m only submitting the previous version bc i don’t even fuckin know what’s going on with this current one#like the code’s all bad and all over the place and I have no clue where i’m trying to go with it#so it’s like i basically didn’t get shit done this week#only made myself more confused#i need to take a step back and like really fuckin think what I’m going to do with this bc it’ll just get worse if I just keep trying to go#with this shitty thing i have on my hands rn#and also im like over an hour late already bc gotta write a weekly report and idk what the fuck to say like#’’oops sorry dude it’s shit rn i have no clue what’s going on but also dont have anything i could ask help with bc im too confused so it’s#just uhh this thing now; a mess <3’’#the way i’ve been handling this course like ?? uh oh will i ever have the audacity to step a foot to my campus ever again lol#yes im now writing this to procrastinate writing that weekly report thing#ughhh yes im hella positive rn all is shit#(also there was parliamentary election today and it didn’t end well so that might be why everything feels 5x more shitty rn)#april 2023#2023
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Wormwood hc hours
#keese draws#dst#don’t starve together#dst wormwood#dst wheeler#ds wheeler#<- not a clue how to tag her I’m so sorry bestie#anyways! more hc rambling she/he pronouns wormwood for the win#also for elaboration on her roots! they’re kinda parasitic in nature?#I say kinda because it’s less in an irl plant way and more in a fucked up lunar way#but yeah that’s why wormwood doesn’t like using them#during full bloom however his roots try their damn best to get into the grown anyways#mostly because of the increased nutrient needs and it worsens when he’s hungry#but yeah in my minds eye the increased speed from full bloom is a mix of just general heightened energy and being taller#as for the height changes in my minds eye most of the growth that comes with blooming is shedded pretty much as soon as she falls out of it#usually leading to a couple minute prices of getting what’s left shuffled back into place#this usually leaves her incredibly exhausted afterwards for a day or so#also when using weapons she tends to just wrap her arm around the handle instead of using her hand leaves#since yknow. leaves aren’t great for grip#also in my minds eye wormwoods leaves have an almost artificial feel to them#like not quite fully but enough so that one might get confused for a moment#they generally become softer during bloom but all soft leaves get shedded pretty quickly afterwards#in general wormwood becomes a bit more squishy in general during bloom but not by too much
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some people in this space make me feel extremely smart
#like the way you can tell that some blogs have absolutely no fucking clue how that industry works#also going to other blogs and complaining about what Tom blogs are saying and doing is fucking pathetic#just because you lack reading comprehension skills#like if you already search for someone to pat your back at least tell them the fucking truth that you clearly can’t handle#but I already know that facts and correct/confirmed information is not really a thing in those spaces
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#listen if you're living in western europe or america or canada or anywhere that's not next to the border of ukraine#and you feel the need to express opinions online about how ukraine's neighbours should handle this conflict just fucking don't#just shut the fuck up#i've seen so many dumb people - some americans some not americans#but all of them way too far away from the conflict#expressing opinions about the fact that russian drones apparently flew above romanian airspace#and how romania is stupid for not acting (as in escalating)#bitch you have no clue how real this war feels here and how real it's been ever since the first refugees arrived in our country#hell even i can't imagine how real it feels for people living 200 metres from the ukrainian border#having drones above their houses every night and knowing one slight military mistake could end their lives#i'm not saying that our authorities should do nothing which they basically are atm because they're some useless pieces of shit#but you and even i living hundreds of km away from the border can't fucking imagine what it's like to have your life on the line#so if you have an opinion just keep it for yourself cause none of us want to read it on the internet
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i LOOOVE thinking about fantasy disabilities!!!! i love figuring out what people would have to do to accommodate them! it's literally awesome!
#fun after-comic joe facts time yayyy so joe's soul got a little bit fucked up#its just this small crack. which makes him entirely unresponsive to anything for like 5 minutes max#at seemingly random intervals. it slows down and doesnt last as long as it heals but its still like#not good lol#and its just gonna keep happening the rest of his life because souls fuckin heal weird#its one of many problems disorders he has to deal with this ones just special because doctors have#NO clue what to do with him so he and his friends just gotta figure out how to cope with it themselves#after a while he can kinda tell when its about to happen a few seconds before it does#so because he's rarely left alone anyways because he. cant take care of himself much anymore#he can give them a warning and they will make sure nothing dangerous will come from it and just wait for him to come to#as it heals and becomes less of a problem it kinda becomes more of a problem ironically#he does reach a point where he can mostly handle himself. but he cant do shit when that happens#except try to sit down asap. so while it happens less often it causes More Incidents. alas#i think kiara's way of dealing with it happening in particular is so silly#cause she just. grew up with him like this. this is just normal to her she's never questioned it#like oh ok dad's blanked out again i will just wait so patiently for it to be done so i can keep showing him#my mlp toys and explaining mlp lore to him#it happens and she just stops what she's doing and waits for him then continues as if nothing happened#everyone else gets so fussy about him when it happens but kiaras just#are you done? ok so pinkie pie is the laughter pony#he thinks its awesome he loves her so much
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WHY DiD I ORGANIZE IT SO BADLY THIS SHIT IS NEAR INCOMPREHENSIBLE AAAAAAAAAAA
#its like 'ah! a hint from the twtt puzzles! lets see how i handled it then!'#and theni have no fucking clue cause i DIDNT KEEP TRACK OF WHERE I FOUND THINGS#im about to go back in time consequences be damned and fistfight myself#twtt puzzle moment#tql puzzle moment
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Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨
#listen im not saying i must have bpd cuz of a bunch of relatable tumblr posts dont clutch your pearls on me#but hm im starting to get suspicious ajsjk#just been spending these past few months really digging into my deeply repressed memories and emotions and i keep discovering more and more#fucked up shit lol like first its being forced to acknowledge that i have a bit more than some ‘minor trauma’#and that ive actually just been like horribly abused like. my entire life and still am 😟#then it was like really trying to think about myself and what ive done to cope with abuse and like ive constructed an entire person#to just live as whenever im in the abusive situations and when i was removed from the situation for the first time ever#i had like a huge crash a huge crisis i both functioned way better than everyone said i would like suspiciously better#but also way worse at the same time#i could handle all the responsibilities of living alone i never once felt scared or homesick i was clean i was efficient i used money wisely#but i also felt like i was dying and i couldnt function when my persona dropped#cuz i didnt need to be that person anymore i could finally be me but then like. who even is me ive never gotten to find out#i dont know basic ways to behave i still have no clue how to exist or what i truly want vs what i pretended to want#its all completely muddled and its hard to explain that i cant tell whats genuine with me and whats fake#cuz ive been forced to live the fake shit my entire life you know? ive had to and i had to accept it#ive never gotten to make any of my own actual decisions and at the same time i have to decide everything for everyone else#im the parent of my parents but never was the child and the child is still there asking for attention but no one is there#then you know i had to return to the abuse and so its like i did get to taste freedom but not for long and i spent all my time in that#crisis mode so it wasnt exactly a fun filled time but being back here is much worse than before cuz now i know whats happening#and how i have to perform and its like how do i discover anything about myself in this kinda environment and no one understands the turmoil#the reason why something simple like wearing different shoes is so impossible for me#its just a horrible environment to be in i am in hell constantly ive no clue whats happening and im very obsessive over everything#aaaaghhhhhhh help girl help lol
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ah fuck some of my IRL friends are like. one badly timed google search away from finding my AO3 account
#see my discord handle is the same as my ao3 handle#and I wasn't using discord for anything IRL until like. the larp event i attend decided to use discord as their main communication tool#so now my larp gang knows my discord. and apparently someone went looking for that name on instagram#i do not have a fan account on instagram#thank fuck#like they're chill they're not gonna crucify me over The Contents of that account even if they do find it but#icarus'ing too close to the sun for comfort here folks#no clue how to solve this one
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google search how to get people in your life to take your suspicions of inattentive adhd seriously when you’ve been an anxiety-ridden overachiever your entire life
#ITS THE THIRD TIME IVE BROUGHT IT UP. STILL WONT DO ANYTGING ABOUT IT#hate it here both adhd and my (i’m 99% sure actually diagnosed BUT NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING) anxiety cause executive dysfunction#but even just talking about that means they write me off as lazy. i am a fuckin mess and as always am screwing my self up at just the last#second (two weeks before finals) just in time to hate myself. this is why i always pick up a new interest around this time of year#i swear it’s like a fucking clock i cope with anxiety by fixating on reading a gratuitous amount of content on smthn new#every december may and august and it SUCKS bc it DOES NOT HELP ME and i still get by by the seat of pants bc i stay up until fuck o clock am#and get lucky. fuck.#sry for the swear laden vent i realized i have slightly screwed myself AGAIN and am AGAIN annoyed no one takes me seriously when i bring up#my actual inability to get a n y r h i n g done. basically ever#special shout-out at the one who has repeatedly made jokes throughout my life about my inability to follow two step instructions#like hi yeah literally a diagnostic. fucking hell.#yes diagnoses are just collections of observable traits that we group together and yes it’s not completely debilitating but i am near physic#ally incapable of doing anything without a looming deadline EVEN IF I WANT TO and the fact that i am good at last minute bullshiting means#i have no ducking clue how to get a handle on it or even get people to take me seriously about it#>:(((((((
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for whatever reason weather.com keeps on putting the units in as Celsius as opposed to Frankenstein and i keep on being like pls. i am in america. use the freedom units i am begging you what the hell does 17 even MEAN
#jamie has made a statement#would get it if it was when i was in canada but nope its been doing this even in socal#all i know about celsius is yanno 0 is freezing 100 is boiling for water#and when my phone gets to 42C its too hot to handle#and that 27C is hot in england apparently#other than that i have No Clue#its just not as intuitive!!! or granular!!!!#esp bc it doesnt even have half units on the site#thats my one american unit i will insist is better for measuring#only for ambient temp tho#cooking temp or other shit celsius makes sense#oh and also F for body temp and med stuff#bc like ok. how do u easily tell when someone has a fever if u use celsius#like its so fucking easy w farhenheit bc its just is it above 100? not good#i dont even know what it is in celsius or an easy way to tell in celsius if its over 100F#im sure ppl have the numbers known but if i had a thermometer that only used celsius and i had a fever#i would not be a happy camper#off topic but i sometimes like having a fever. i dont know why lol#i like knowing my body is Cooking i guess bc i also like sitting in a hot car sometimes
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