#i also just tend to ignore the luther & allison thing

[fiddlededeejester]

if i had a nickel for every show i really liked where incest was kinda canon with the excuse that "technically they're not biologically related" & the fandom either ignored it/headcannoned it away or made relentless jokes about it i would have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.

[stupidcanofpeaches]

five is an old old man with old man habits or senior citizen-y things i imagine he’d do in times of peace and quiet if the apocalypse was finally off and they were in their own timeline. - comfort over style: in-house slippers, warm socks and layers and layers of clothes (i.e. sweaters, sweater vests for warmth, slacks, basic cotton shirts, cardigans, woolen jackets, etc). he does however harbor a secret affinity for shiny things (i’m a proponent of the theory that since dolores is pretty much five for all intents and purposes, that means that five likes sequins and shiny stuff, but he doesn’t acknowledge this because pretty things aren’t Practical and enjoying himself won’t help him Survive, so dolores likes sequins it is. it is of course much more complicated than this but that’s the gist of it), so when allison gifts him a pair of cufflinks for their first birthday together he quietly starts to wear them out all the time. - waking up way too early both due to nightmares and paranoia as well as out of habit. sometimes, he makes coffee for the entire family while he’s at it, and they graciously never mention it to him when they finally collectively figure out the mystery of Fresh Morning Coffee that sometimes appears at the table waiting for them just as they’re coming down for breakfast. the only one who wakes up just as early is luther - not even diego’s morning jogs are that early in the day. - paper over digital and preferring books/newspapers to tv. five sitting at the kitchen table with his ankle over his knee and an open newspaper that covers half his body is a normal sight in the morning. - he builds little routines that he follows religiously: always eats the same meals day after day, takes a walk in the same park, makes coffee the same way, etc. he’s someone whose life from the age of 13 and onwards was extremely unstable and most of the time out of his control; as such he takes comfort in controlling every little thing he does now.  - he tends to spend hours sitting on a park bench just watching people go by and kids play - most people ignore him although some parents get worried about a strange boy spending hours alone on a bench. five manages to convince one (1) concerned mother that he’s birdwatching. he’s extremely unconvincing and the rest of the park regulars try to keep an eye out for him. - he gets cold even in 90 degree weather: diego’s convinced he’s faking it just to mess with them because no way is he seriously putting on a blazer when it’s this hot out while klaus speculates that five is having some sort of subconscious defensive reaction and is feeling vulnerable. five, however, really is cold, not in the least because his diet is less than stellar and his blood circulation isn’t that good. - slow hunched over hands-in-pockets shuffling walk. allison threatens to slap his back each time she sees him lest he mess up his back completely; five retorts that he would like to see her try but does make an effort to somewhat fix his posture. - afternoon naps because he never gets enough sleep but there’s nowhere to run to and no one to save anymore so he can finally take the time to slow down and rest. it’s hard to for him to wind down and relax even after months have passed and the first few times he tries to nap he ends up staring at the ceiling despite feeling completely exhausted. - at the urging of his siblings he gets a few plants he takes care of - a couple of potted plants in his own room and a few more in the garden on the roof. at first five flatly rejects the idea but then gradually gets into it because he used to have a small vegetable garden in the apocalypse and it’s nice to have something to do (figuring out how to nurture plants without accidentally killing them in a variety of ways with no one there to teach him how to and only books to rely on was a pain). it also alleviates his old anxiety resulting from food insecurity he experienced while there and helps to manage his stress levels - so long as he has his little vegetable garden, the threat of hunger is kept at bay. the old ladies at the gardening supplies store adore him because what a polite little gentleman he is. - although peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich is his go-to to satisfy his sweet tooth cravings, he also enjoys much to klaus’s horror stereotypically older people sweets: licorice, butterscotch anything and sugar-coated peanuts. he also eats marzipan and crystallized ginger that everyone else in the house abhors (except for vanya who shares the ginger with him). - whenever he manages to convince himself to step foot into a grocery store he spends hours thoroughly inspecting every shelf and the items in stock and then doesn’t buy anything. - when they go to the beach as a family for the first time ever, he doesn't swim and doesn’t even change out of his suit but instead stays in the shade surveying them from a distance, like a nanny supervising a gaggle of kids.  - humming songs to himself when alone. his music taste is a bizarre mix of classic 90s and 2000s popular songs from his childhood and also songs so old that no one but him really knows or remembers them, including a few forgotten hits from the 1940s and 50s. he also talks to himself - an old habit to drown out the silence of his loneliness in the apocalypse. - he likes sweet fruity cocktails (with the tiny umbrellas of course) and his siblings do their best to stop him from drinking his tiny squishy liver into an early grave (they rarely succeed).

[merrilark]

Give me your unpopular opinion about TUA 😘😘

sleepover weekend!

Besides loving Allison’s arc in S3, which I think I’ve already rambled too much about on this blog LOL, IIIIII... think my most unpopular opinion could be that I don’t really care for Di.lil.a, not because I think it’s an unhealthy ship, but because I think it’s a badly written unhealthy ship, and that Al.luth.er is a much better example of a well-written one.

Absolutely no shade to anyone who does ship them, though. I’m definitely someone who believes in the old fandom adage “ship and let ship”, but they’re really just not my cup of tea. I wish they were, because Diego is one of my top favorite characters and I’d really like to enjoy what looks like his romantic endgame.

But circling back to why I don’t like them... I think my biggest thing is that with Allison and Luther, even though some scenes were framed in a romantic light (like the dancing scene in S1), you still knew that it wasn’t a healthy relationship. It was doomed to fail from the start, because it was born out of trauma, and it was clear that we were seeing things mostly through Luther’s rose colored glasses, who still hadn’t fully come to terms with Reginald’s abuse. Allison still had and has complicated feelings surrounding him, we can see that much in S3, but she never really committed and it was plain that Luther was more of a last resort security blanket. It’s psychologically fascinating and despite trying to play it as romantic here and there, the show doesn’t pretend it’s ultimately a good thing.

Diego and Lila don’t really get that.

Obviously an incestuous relationship is a totally different ballpark from two unrelated, troubled souls getting into a messy romance. But in Diego and Lila’s case, it’s still unhealthy, and TUA tends to ignore that.

Lila... has a lot of control issues. She frequently shuts Diego up when he tries to be vulnerable with her or talk about important things, like their relationship, or Stan, or the end of the world. Vulnerability is extremely difficult for Diego, so it’s hard to watch when he tries so hard to be open, and she changes the subject, tries to distract him with sex, or slaps him. It’s also pretty worrying that she goes out of her way to threaten Klaus so he won’t talk to Diego, or that she gives Diego the ultimatum of choosing her or saving the world (and by extension saving his family). It just... rrrrreeeally sets off my alarm bells for “the manipulative, jealous SO who won’t let you have any relationships outside themselves”.

Obviously Lila is as much a victim as Diego. I get that. I know why she acts the way she does. Anyone raised by the Handler would have mountains of issues. And if the show framed it for what it was, I wouldn’t be bothered. Unhealthy, toxic ships can be enthralling! But, unlike with Allu.ther, Di.lila is framed in a very “haha, my messy matches your messy and we have really kinky BDSM sex!” way that bugs me because it’s ignoring that what’s happening between them isn’t good for either of them. Diego is too scared to lose Lila like he lost Patch so he treats her like she’s something soft, and he doesn’t stand up to her as much as he should (which would help them both), and Lila is similarly too scared that he’ll hurt her so she puts him through emotionally manipulative tests and tries to control his decisions.

It could be fascinating to watch, but their bad behavior toward one another is almost always played off as sexy or funny, and in the rare instances when it isn’t, no one learns anything from it. Diego still bends because he has to play hero, Lila still gets her way, and they ignore their problems with another round of sex while the writing tries to convince us that nothing is wrong.

S4 could potentially fix some of this, because I do think they could be a good couple if they were more self-aware and worked through their problems... but I have my doubts. TUA doesn’t do romance well, and with a few rumors flying around that S4 might be shorter than 10 episodes, I’m not very optimistic that they’ll have time to deal with anything other than Reginald and, presumably, getting their powers back.

[disco-tea]

Is it just me or is it weird five barely had anything to do with stopping both apocalypses in s1 and s2?

Like, s1 he wasn’t there for the buildup, and barely had anything to do with stopping it(all of that was mainly Luther, Allison and vanya) and in season 2 when they were trying to save her he was nowhere to be found at all

I just think it’s a bit weird because five always does the most to stop it. It’s HIS trauma, but when it’s actually stopped he has very little to do with it(he avoided it in s1 tho I’m not sure whether to count that)

Yeeeeeah. That is definitely a thing in the show. It’s a bit frustrating, but in S1 at least, I believe it actually served a purpose.

So, I actually made a previous post about this, but the thing about S1 is, it’s all a big self-fulfilling prophecy. Reginald created the academy to save the world, they ended it. Everybody is off trying to stop the apocalypse, but completely ignore the thing that actually causes it, which thus contributes to it. Five spends so much time trying to chase down leads and come up with solutions, that he isn’t there for all the important moments that actually tip the scales towards the end of the world. It’s the cruel irony. If he had stood still for long enough, he might have actually realized the problem before it was too late.

That’s just my take on S1, and I actually kind of like that idea. Self-fulfilling prophecies can be awesome when done right.

However, I can’t really speak S2 because I feel the writing was just a bit more lazy at certain moments. I think the reason for him not being involved, especially at the end, was because in a lot of ways he’s too overpowered and would be able to fix situations too easily. Like getting from one end of a hallway to another is nothing for him, it’s a blink. It wouldn’t have been a problem and it wouldn’t have required near as much effort. I think that’s probably also why they tend to split Vanya and Five up. If Vanya had been with Five and the others all season, none of the stuff that led up to the apocalypse would’ve happened. She wouldn’t have even gotten arrested.

So I think a lot of times they keep him out of the central plot not only because of how overpowered he is but also because, unlike other characters, he has no distractions. Stopping the bad things from happening is his main priority, so the plot has to take him other places so they can happen.

[majorsoapfan]

Umbrella Academy Season 3 Wish list

This is a long one so buckle up:

Let Klaus and Allison take centre-stage this season in leading the plot. Both are incredible characters and deserve the chance to shine. And I can think of several reasons why they deserve the chance to take centre-stage: out of the whole Academy their powers are some of the most fascinating and in Klaus’ case he has so many that haven’t been revealed yet. They’ve both suffered and lost a lot as well, particularly in season 2 and their hardships tend to get ignored by others. Their relationship together is already really interesting and supportive and they would be an awesome team up. There’s more but I’ll be here forever if I tried to list them.

No Apocalypse. The world ending in eight days was a great plot driver in season 1 and again in season 2 with the reveal that the end of the world actually followed the Umbrella’s back in time. But if the same thing gets repeated over and over then I’m worried that the show will lose it’s edge as a result. In order for the characters to develop new crisis's need to take its place.

Let Five have a rest. Even if it’s just for an episode or two so he can get a solid eight hours sleep if nothing else. For the last two seasons Five has been running around non-stop trying to stop the end of the world and save his family. Without that Five can grow as a person and get a literal break that he really hasn’t gotten in 45 years.

Oh course that doesn’t mean I want Five out of the drama entirely and I do expect to see Reginald and Five scenes in season 3. Five is the only one of his original children that the bastard seemed to tolerate and he did seem to have some form of twisted respect for Five as well. And I wouldn’t put it past the monocle monster to have some twisted plans in store for the eldest member of the Umbrella Academy. He’s had fifty years to plan for the Umbrella’s return after all.

The Sparrows. I just saw the line up of the Sparrows for season three and I am honestly so interested. I can’t wait to see what their powers are like and I already have some ideas. They have so much potential and hopefully they’ll be done well. And so far they seem to be written as the Umbrella’s foils. Marcus is a natural leader who loves his family, while Luther forces himself into the role and alienated his family as a result. Both Ben and Diego long to be the leader but while Diego is more emotional, Ben’s more strategic. Five is driven by his love and desire to protect his family, while Sloane feels held back by hers. Vanya was treated as an outcast and betrayed her siblings trust while Christopher, a literal Cube, is said to be loyal and is treated as a loved family member 

That being said though, I don’t want the Sparrows to be the main focus this season or have the attention split between them and the Umbrella’s. Because while I do want to see the Sparrows and their family dynamic and how they interact with the Umbrella’s, I would prefer to see how the Umbrella Hargreeves’ cope with their existent and how this impacts them and how they move forward with this. Or a team up between Sparrows and Umbrella’s would be fine. Or multiple team ups, I’m not picky.

There is a really good fan theory out there about Klaus and Five being twins and while I know that in the comics it’s Luther and Five, the fan theory in season 3 would be so much better in my opinion. And in all honesty it makes so much more sense. Physically they are strikingly similar, especially as children. Their powers both concentrate in their hands and emit a blue glow when they use them. Their powers themselves are literally time and death, which are linked and they have additive personalities, which can be inherited between family members. And I can’t help but feel that this moment:

lends a new level to their relationship then what we see with them as adults. Look at how alike they are! And that fond smile that Five is giving Klaus? Making them twins opens up a wide range of possibilities for Klaus and Five both character and plot wise.

Give Luther a proper love interest. And I can’t believe that this even has to be said but his sister does not count! Literally all of siblings have have romantic interests, all of them so important in the Umbrella’s life in some way or another. It would be nice too to see Luther form a healthy romantic connection for the first time in his life.

While I’m on the subject of Luther and healthy relationships, it also brings me back to the Sparrows and how their number one Marcus seems to be Luther’s foil. And it would be interesting for the show to explore just how seeing the Sparrows and someone so similar to Luther might just affect him. He did spend thirty years of his life after all being Reginald’s little solider and believing that his position as Number One made him the family leader only to find out it was all for nothing. Only Marcus seems to be respected in his position as leader and loves his family dearly, while Luther was mocked and seems to have driven all of his siblings bar Allison away from him because of it. This has incredible potential for Luther’s character arc this season especially if it makes him acknowledge his behaviour to his siblings as they were growing up; particularly to Klaus and Vanya who probably got the worst of it. Allison after all was his closest companion, Diego was his rival (more or less), Ben seemingly got on with everyone and Five would have bitten Luther’s head off if he tried anything. But Reginald’s disappointments Klaus and Vanya? Luther, wanting to impress their dad and follow his orders probably didn’t treat them the best. And I want Luther to admit that and apologise and make the next step in becoming a better person and brother. He’s made incredible progress in season 2, but I don’t want his past treatment of his siblings to be swept under the rug. It needs to be acknowledged and Luther needs to admit it was wrong so he can grow. 

Can we get Diego’s season one hair back too? I wondered just how it got that long considering that he was only in the sixties for around three months. Klaus makes sense as he was in the sixties for years. Plenty of time for him to grow it out, not really for Diego. But I really prefer his season one hair so can it make a comeback please?

What I want to see for Vanya this season is for her to realize that she doesn’t need powers to be special. I kinda noticed that she seems to have defined her worth on her powers and that’s not healthy. So a potential scenario: Reginald seems to have made the power-suppressing drug himself, so he may still have it in season 3. Imagine Vanya getting a dose of it that knocks her powers out for a good chunk of time and in the meantime some of her siblings are in danger (I’m picturing Luther and Diego here the himbos) and she ends up saving them. Not with her powers but because of her intelligence and other skills that she has and she realizes that she doesn’t need her powers to be special or to save the day. A logical step in character growth.

Getting some closure on season 2 character like Sissy, Ray, Grace, the Cult (which I really didn’t like) and the Swede and what happened to them once the Umbrella’s left the sixties. And maybe finding out what happened to season one’s characters since the Umbrella’s didn’t exist in this timeline: Agnes, Patch, Leonard, Pogo, Claire.

For Klaus and Umbrella Ben to talk about their issues and make up. I know that our Ben is now up there with the little girl in the sky but that has not stopped Klaus from visiting heaven before. And I think that if Klaus and Ben do not get at least one final conversation to talk through their issues next season then I will sue. They both did crappy things to each other in season two but they both love each other dearly and they deserve the chance to get the closure they both need. I think that Klaus will definitely need it in order to move on completely.

I know I said no Apocalypse but I’m still going to be expecting some major crisis to happen during the last few episodes. An alien invasion or Sparrows trying to kill the Umbrella's maybe? But no matter what the problem is, I really want Klaus to get his moment to shine by being the one to save the day. Reginald said himself that Klaus has untapped potential and we know thanks to the comics what other powers he has. And thanks to Ben’s antics at the family dinner the old bastard has probably written him off as useless and not a threat when making plans to deal with the Umbrella’s. Which means nobody is going to be looking at Klaus or considering him a potential threat to their plans, leaving Klaus relatively safe to start exploring and enhancing his powers. He was supposed to be the one to have done it in season one with the moon and his abilities were brushed to the side completely in season two or used for Ben’s benefit so I think he’s long overdue his moment to shine. And maybe then will the rest of his siblings stop seeing Klaus as a joke.

Lila. I don’t think we’ve seen the last of her, her story felt unfinished and she does have a briefcase. She could pop at any moment in the story. She has so much potential and I did love her actress. Imagine her and Five forcing to team up or something? Or maybe her and Allison?

Another character I’d like to see return is Hazel. He’s someone who really grew on me. And there is a chance that he could return and maybe team up with the Umbrella’s this season. Potential scenarios: Five on the hunt for allies to help him restore the timeline hunts down Hazel who in this timeline is working with the Commission and because the Umbrellas don’t exist hasn’t met Agnes yet. Maybe something happened to her because of the Sparrows?

Finally Dave. I’m a huge Dave fan but I really don’t want him to show up in season three. Or if he does then for the smallest amount of time possible just to give Klaus some ‘closure’. Time travel is in the Umbrella Academy universe after all and it’s possible that by Klaus warning Dave about his faith and causing him to enlist earlier and in a different branch as a result he’s saved Dave and opened up the possibility of seeing Commission!Dave later. Which is the perfect storyline for season 4. Season three is only 10 episodes long and there’ll be a lot going on already so shoving Dave into what will already be a pretty packed season won’t give Dave the attention he deserves and will take away from the other focus. Not only that but Klaus’ motivation for the last two seasons is doing something for either Dave or Ben. I want to see Klaus train his powers either for himself or to help someone else. Also, Dave deserves the chance to grow as a character as well and making him a part of season 3 would take away from the main focus of the Umbrella’s and Sparrows. Making him a main focus in season four instead if we get one will give a great opportunity story-wise to develop both him and Klaus as individuals and as a couple.

[michals]

(Ok this was supposed to be like, a couple of paragraphs but it turned into a freaking essay, so it’s under the cut haha)

On Klaus, Luther and addiction

So this is something I personally find to have a lot of great thematic potential for these two characters. The idea of Luther falling into the same trap that Klaus has for both similar and different reasons and Klaus dealing with Luther’s addictions while facing his own is such a great thru line for both of them. The show’s set them up with the building blocks for this plot point and it would be so easy for it to come into play this season, especially this season actually.

Luther’s build up to addiction is subtle but I think they’ve planted the seeds enough to make it into something. Him falling apart in The Day That Was and his first reaction is to turn to alcohol and drugs is pretty significant considering it’s obvious that he’s probably been very ‘straight edge’ his whole life, probably never having even drank before then. And he tells Klaus straight out that he wishes he was like him, that he didn’t care and that he could just ignore all his own feelings like he thinks Klaus does. (I’ll get into how the family deals with Klaus’s addiction in a minute.) He goes out and  does things under the influence he would never have done while sober, things that end up being self destructive (ie having sex that he seemed to really not want). But even then he’s gotten the idea that if he’s drinking/on something then he’s not thinking about all his shitty feelings.

Season two really sets it up because it’s not just one event but several. In the first ep at the bar he has a drink very casually, like he’s been doing it for years and not just because his life fell apart in the past how many months. The flask when he goes to Vanya’s is really telling firstly because he has a flask on him at all times at this point, that he uses it to get his courage up to go in the barn, and that he does it even when he’s driving. But it’s the nitrous scene that really cements it for me, again simply because he went from being basically a teetotaler to jumping at the first offer of heavy drugs. And he says he should’ve done this a long time ago. If I may get a little personal I know how easy it is to fall into this, the idea of ‘hey alcohol (or drugs) makes me feel better or at least I don’t think/care as much so why wouldn’t I do it?’. It’s such an easy slope to fall down and on the surface Luther has plenty of reasons to want to.

Now, Klaus: there’s plenty already been said about Klaus’s relationship with drugs and alcohol so I won’t get too wordy. Klaus is defined to us right away as a junkie and addict. Someone who uses substances to avoid dealing specifically with his powers and also his shitty upbringing. He plays very fast and loose with his own sobriety and even his mortality. Basically: he uses drugs to avoid thinking or feeling bad, or at least worse but he’s far, far past the point of entry into full blown dependence.

The scene between him and Luther in season 1 is a personal favorite just because it manages to deal with and establish a number of thematic ideas and the potential for how Luther and Klaus’s relationship can go from there. Luther, like the rest of the family, doesn’t understand Klaus’s addiction partially because they’ve all been estranged for 13 years and partially because Klaus doesn’t take it seriously and puts forth a very flippant persona, hell he doesn’t take anything that seriously. The world’s ending, they don’t have the time or inclination to humor Klaus’s story of chocolate pudding. Luther clearly misunderstands his addiction because yes, Klaus comes across as kind of happy and okay with himself but that’s because of the drugs. To Luther who’s been locked up with their asshole of a father Klaus seems to actually have a life of his own.

But Klaus doesn’t try too hard to walk that opinion back and here’s something I find important that tends to get left out when people point out that the family doesn’t take Klaus’s problems seriously: Klaus doesn’t talk about it or try and deal with it. Klaus really really doesn’t like dealing with things if he thinks he can avoid them. His powers, his childhood, Reginald, Ben, his cult – if he can run away from it or make a joke about it instead that’s what he’ll do. The one thing he ever really shows much initiative with is Dave. He’s self centered and I mean that in the most basic way – everything comes down to what he wants to do and he actually keeps his feelings close to the vest for the most part. Basically he doesn’t want to give the others an ‘in’ point to really address it (bonus they all heaps of problems of their own). And when he does get into it just the barest amount with Luther Luther’s high as fuck.

(Just to touch on Ben he kind of doesn’t count because firstly he can’t talk to anyone else and secondly he and Klaus have such a strained relationship especially regarding Klaus’s drug use that even if anyone else could hear him he probably wouldn’t be that supportive.)

So, actually getting into the whole season 3 thing: the siblings are about to face off with a whole lot of daddy and family issues in this time line and everyone’s got huge potential for emotional and mental shakedowns, but I think Luther’s gonna have the worst time of it. Don’t think I’m going to get into that BS of comparing traumas and saying anyone’s more ‘worthy��� of sympathy than any of the others, I’m saying specifically because it’s to do with Reginald not only rejecting him yet again and outright replacing him but that it’s not even ‘his’ Reginald so does that mean all the shit he put Luther through doesn’t count? I just see it as catalyst for a real breakdown for him.

Not to say this won’t mess with Klaus but Klaus hated Reginald long ago and has accepted that the guy was a douchebag and had no real love for his children, so personally I see his drug use as dealing with Reggie’s abuse but more so to deal with his powers. So yes, this’ll absolutely fuck with him but Luther’s the primo target here.

So what if we see Luther leaning even harder into drinking or even heavier things? Now he really has an excuse to because where’s he supposed to go from here? What’s he meant to do? He’s not the leader anymore, his family doesn’t always treat his trauma seriously (Klaus parallels there) nevermind he doesn’t even like to address it himself, he has no idea who he’s supposed to be and the one person who he thought actually cared about him not only doesn’t but never did and now he’ll never get back what he saw as his purpose in life. The whole Ben being alive thing is just icing on the cake. If he spirals in s3 it would make perfect sense because of all this and all the set up for it.

Klaus spiraled too at the end of s2 again becoming the fatalistic junkie he used to be, he’s gonna run from his problems again but it’s not just his powers this time. So he’s off the wagon but what if he notices Luther is too?

I can definitely see Luther trying to hide it from the others. He’s already given away too much of his weaknesses, he doesn’t want them to see their ‘leader’ continue to fall and I don’t think he’d want them to know he’s still that affected by Reginald. They want him to have dealt with it, like he seems to have at least a little in s2, if he’s completely fallen apart because of his dad again then that just makes him look pathetic. So he keeps his flask and finds excuses to get away with stumbling or slurring his words. But Klaus notices, because Klaus knows the signs.

In that scene in s1 Klaus very obviously doesn’t like seeing Luther like that or using drugs as an escape like he does. He’s self aware enough to know that this isn’t any way to live but is too pessimistic when it comes to himself. But, again, he tends to be pretty self centered. This is not a bad thing, this is a great character trait and it makes Klaus interesting. He does not know how to relate to his siblings on the whole, doesn’t know how to talk about his own traumas and addictions, so when he does hear them out it’s usually because he had was focusing on his own shit first. For instance: when he has the heart to heart with Allison in her kitchen he’s only there in the first place because he was falling apart because of Dave.

Luther having a problem will have to be something Klaus purposefully chooses to deal with because he’s worried about one of this siblings. And for obvious reasons Klaus is the perfect one to help him with it. He doesn’t want to see Luther like that but he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on if he wants him to stop. Hell, if Klaus won’t stop why should Luther? Klaus can’t use ‘do what I say not as I do’, partially because Luther has proven to have some self destructive/self harming tendencies and again, if it makes him feel okay or at least steady then why would he stop?

But Klaus stopping means that he’s going to have to confront his quite literal demons when it comes to his powers (I could go off on how much I don’t love that he was somehow sober for 3 years in the 60’s no problem but it didn’t seem to affect his powers at all but that’s another post). The number one thing he’s been running from his whole life, something the show hasn’t actually done a whole lot with. We knows he hates it, we knows he’s tortured by it, but we’ve seen no evidence that he’s ever really confronted it. He was traumatized by Reggie who did everything wrong so he went the opposite route.

But what if he has to stay sober for Luther’s sake? Even if he doesn’t want to help, even if he just enables it or joins him at first eventually he’d have to come the realization that he doesn’t like this, that he wouldn’t wish this kind of problem on someone he cares about. So he’s going to have to turn inward, he’s going to have to face up to both his addiction and his powers, maybe even finally try to tame and use his powers. And at some point he’d have to talk to Luther about it and stop hiding behind his glib façade.

So in the end we’d get to see Luther falling apart trying to deal with everything that he still very much needs to deal with and his subconscious tendency for self destruction, Klaus confronting his addictions, his own feelings and relationship to his siblings, and his powers and hell, maybe then we’ll actually get him using his powers to his/the group’s benefit.

[niishiki]

Umbrella Academy S02

I binged the show in two days with my family, and here are the problems I have with it:

1: Lila/Diego - That’s a hard NO for me. This relationship is comparable with Leonard/Vanya in S01 because Lila was send to infiltrate the academy, she was send to manipulate Diego because he was ‘the weakest link’. She played with his feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem. He craves companionship and love and she pretended to give him that for her own gain. Then, when her cover was blown, she drugged him, kidnapped him and forced him to join the commission against his will and with no regard for his wishes or his family. She didn’t care about him. If the dynamics were swapped, people would be outraged. She makes fun of Diego and belittles him numerous times. That’s not cute. It’s never cute but we tend to gloss over it when it comes from a woman about a man. She even makes fun of his ‘daddy issues’ which lie in a deep-rooted trauma and is nothing to make fun of. We see Diego devolve into that scared little boy in a matter of seconds when Reginald berates him. Lila is toxic and should’ve written out of the show by the end.

2: Klaus - Where to start? I was hyped when I saw the opening sequence. Then they nerfed the shit out of his powers for absolutely no reason. They gave his power to allow ghosts to possess him to Ben. Klaus is a bumbling fool in Season 02 and had NO impact on the story at all. They downplayed his PTSD and his other issues. They never brought up his fears and that he was never able to control his powers completely ever again. The fact that there is no regard for bodily consent when it comes to Klaus is just awful. It’s played up for laughs. 

3: Klaus & Dave - I am glad they remembered that Dave was a thing. The actor was way too young looking though. It made Klaus appear creepy around him - thus solidifying the gay man being a creep around younger boys stereotype. His looks didn’t help much in that regard either, in my opinion. 

4. Klaus & Diego - One of the best relationships in Season 01 and completely forgotten about in Season 02. Diego just doesn’t care AT ALL about Klaus. He makes fun of him. When Klaus acts up at the dinner table, he is not concerned at all. 

5: Klaus & Ben - Their relationship was just awful this season and there is no proper reasoning for it. Ben has seen Klaus at his lowest, he’s been with him for 13 years at the end of S1. I think he knows Klaus better now and the way he talks to him and treats him is just plain wrong. Not to mention that Ben gives a crap about Klaus’ consent. When Klaus wants him out of his body, he ignores it. He wanted to have sex with a girl while in Klaus’ body. One of the rules Klaus’ set was ‘not to look at his dong’ and that was one of the first things Ben did. I could laugh about that, if it was the only thing that happened that’s just not right. 

6: Luther - He was reduced to big guy with funny facial expressions. Although I see the comedic effect on him eating a lot and looking like a lost puppy. And that’s really a minor nitpick anyway because he had great scenes too.

7: Diego - He was reduced to dumb macho caveman. 

8: Five - He knows his time travel shit. It was beyond stupid to want to meet Reginald. He should have known that. This was the point where the timeline was destroyed and where the Sparrow Academy was born and Five should have known better.

I could go on and on but I guess you get the gist. Overall I really liked the season even though it dragged on for too long in certain aspects. Those are the things I am really upset about. But enough negativity! Here are the things I DID like:  

1: Luther & Diego - I enjoyed them working together and being like ‘fuck numbers we’re Team Zero’

2: Luther & Vanya - He recognized his mistakes of Season 01 and even before that and tried to be understanding, kind, and caring

3: Luther & Klaus - Very minor detail in the last episode but he actually protected Klaus and I like that a lot.

4: Diego & Vanya - Diego is not an asshole to her this season which I like. 

5: Vanya & Allison - Do I really need to say more?

6: Allison & Klaus - Their reunion was perfection. Also I loved how she understands his pain and instead of berating him, she lets him experience that pain in a safe environment WITH her.

7: Allison, Vanya & Klaus - That salon scene - even though it had NO value to the plot, it was a nice thing for the most part

8: Klaus & Vanya - Klaus calling Vanya ‘Vanny’ and kissing her hello. Also Klaus being the first in her car and talking to her.

9: Diego - I loved how soft he was this season. Even though for some reason his softness didn’t extend to Klaus whereas he was the only sibling he showed affection for in Season 01.

10: Diego & Ben - Overall I liked that they got to hug - but I don’t like the comments Diego made about Klaus in that scene

11: Five & Five - That was just a blast

12: Hazel - Though short-lived (no pun intended) Hazel was there to help

13: Herb - No furhter explanatio needed. Viva la Resistance

14: Vanya/Sissy - That was cute. I didn’t care much about that plotline but it was very cute and I liked it for the most part

15: Diego & Klaus - Very minor detail but how Diego touched Klaus’ face when they reunited. I wished they hugged properly, though. Also Klaus saying that Diego looked like Antonio Banderas and Diego thanking him and meaning it. 

[itsthenovelteafactor]

guess what folks... i’m talking about the Hargreeves kids again. 

- there is a bowling alley/arcade within walking distance of the mansion (it may be the one from episode 9; i don’t remember where that was geographically but please hear me out). These kids don’t get a ton of recreation time, and when they do, it’s limited to 2-3 hours max. but it’s enough time to go to the arcade.

- first of all: everyone at the bowling alley knows who they are. they are the Umbrella Academy, they are super famous and they all own just the one outfit. The owner of the bowling alley, however, has a very strict “we do not allow anyone to talk to the press or bother these kids when they are having what is very clearly a well-needed break from saving the world”. (The owner of the bowling alley is the real mvp, honestly.)

- the most acknowledgement they ever get is when someone randomly decides to pay for their snacks as a way of saying thank you for some kind of heroic endeavor. in this cases, they will all awkwardly look over and wave to say thank you and then go back to devouring their loaded cheese fries.

- with the above, they only have enough money for bowling and snacks or bowling and games and it’s a toss up every time as to which they go for. when they opt for games rather than snacks, they make Diego play skee-ball and get enough tickets to buy them all candy from the prize counter.

- when they order snacks, it is always nachos or loaded cheese fries for the table, and seven ice waters, three with lemon, four without. 

- when they are actually bowling:

- Luther is okay at bowling because he tends to use enough force to knock over plenty of pins even if his aim isn’t perfect. Sometimes, however, he uses too much force and nearly breaks the machine (which is old, and not super well kept up with). He is also very easily distracted by the loud music, and also his siblings.

- Diego is so good at bowling it’s unfair. He gets a strike literally every time. The siblings institute a new rule where whenever it’s his turn, they take one of their ties and tie it around his eyes like a blindfold, and then spin him around a bunch to disorient him and then let him bowl. He still always gets a strike. 

- Klaus cannot bowl at all. He refuses to use the bumpers, and somehow manages to get a gutter ball every single time. Sometimes he accidentally gets a gutter ball in the gutter of the lane next to them. 

- Vanya uses bumpers and also that ramp thing that you position and roll the ball down when you are little and can’t actually bowl yet. At one point Klaus tries to slide down it, and nearly breaks it. She is doing her best, and they don’t make fun of her too much because, hey, at least she’s better than Klaus.

- Before he left, Five would absolutely teleport either himself or the ball to improve his scores. 

- Ben and Allison bowl normally what is wrong with all of you?

- When it comes to arcade games, Allison and Klaus are both really good at those dance games where you have to step on the different squares throughout the song. The rest of them are... much worse. They also all exclusively do the dance to “Ra Ra Rasputin” because Diego hates it, and the dance game is right next to skee-ball.

- Ben is really good at the Jumpin’ Jackpot game. He is the only one amongst them who can get more than, like 3, and often will have a little crowd of other kids around him because that game is impossible and how are you on level 50?

- Luther just wants to win the claw game one time, he does not care what he wins anymore, he just wants it to work once so he can prove that it isn’t rigged. He wastes all his tokens every time and ignores everyone who tells him that the game is not meant to be won. When he’s done, he usually will go join the small crowds around Ben or Allison and Klaus. 

- When he’s there, Five plays air hockey. Usually with Vanya, because he tends to get “sends puck so quickly across the table it might actually hurt someone” aggressive when he’s playing with anyone else. When Vanya is busy, he plays with himself, teleporting from side to side.

- When he’s not playing skee-ball (read: Klaus and Allison chased him away by playing “Ra Ra Rasputin” for the fifth time), Diego will play whack-a-mole. 

- Vanya tends to hover and watch while the rest of them play games, and give all her tokens away when someone runs out. Typically, they will split the resulting tickets with her, unless it’s Luther because he has no tickets. He’s still playing the claw game. He offers to give her the prize, though, and she nods like she thinks it’ll happen. 

- They are all way too into the cheesy prizes you can get with minimal amounts of tickets. Klaus gets a plastic tiara with a feather-boa trim and wears it the rest of the day. Allison keeps getting the terrible nail polish that smears in, like, a day. Ben always panics at the last second and gets another deck of cards. He has so many decks of cards in his room, he doesn’t even like playing cards that much. Diego gets so many tootsie rolls. He is the only one amongst them who likes them. He also gets one of those magnetic dartboards, which now lives in the rec room, but remains mostly unused. Five always says he’s going to save up for one of the expensive prizes but never actually does because he gives all the tickets he doesn’t use to Vanya. Vanya is building up a stuff-animal collection in her room, but they are all the kind of creepy neon colored stuffed animals you win at arcades. 

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

77 Minutes | Five Hargreeves

✦ pairing — Five Hargreeves x Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 1.7k

✦ summary — you’re not having a good day — Five isn’t either and things only seem to be getting worse.

✦ warnings — spoilers for season 2, some angst, mentions of blood and violence, mentions of death, language, a little bit of fluff.

════════════════════════

You were having a bad week, and that day only proved that it would get worse if you didn’t find a solution quickly.

Luther and Diego had been in the middle of threatening to kill a lady through the phone when you arrived, Elliot was dead, you didn’t know where Five was, and you were on a time limit to save the world.

There was also the fact that you hated your temporary job, but that was a petty complaint. People were the worst, honestly, you were still getting used to being around them after years only around Five.

Five sadly stared at Elliot, covering him with the sheet Luther had draped over him again.

“Are you okay?” he asked you, eyes analyzing your face and body in search for injuries.

“I wasn’t here when it happened,” you assured him, observing the curling and uncurling of his blood-stained fingers around the handle of the briefcase he was carrying.

Unfazed by the familiar sight before you, slightly bothered by the fact that taking blood off white clothes had never Five’s most developed skill, you rummaged through the belongings you had bought hours ago.

He stored the briefcase in a safe spot, immediately trying to shimmy his blazer off.

Walking into the bathroom as Diego and Luther questioned him, he gave you a thankful nod when the clean shirt caught his attention.

It wasn’t like you could blame them for being shocked by the sight of Five covered in blood, but you didn’t want to partake in the interrogatory. You knew better. They should have known better, too.

“Five,” Luther pressed, “what did you do?”

Five cursed, shaky hands worsening the red splotches on his shirt as he tried to take his vest off.

You gently removed his hands, helping him to slide the item off and dropping it to the side.

He grunted in acknowledgment, not in the mood to anger you by ignoring your actions. As attractive as he found your angry version, he was tired.

He made a motion with his finger for you to turn around. You did so, facing Diego and Luther as you heard him run more water.

The shuffling behind you helped you guess what he was doing. You rested your head on the doorway, watching Luther fumble with his luggage as he struggled to open it.

“You can face me again, sweetheart.”

The uncharacteristic soft tone caught you off guard. Five could get to be extremely sweet if he wanted, but there was something off this time. He was a private person, not the type of person to use pet names in front of his siblings.

“So I found a way home,” he announced, putting his tie back on.

“What?” Luther inquired, too surprised to be able to hide it. “How?”

“All the details are irrelevant, but... I made a deal to get back to our timeline.”

The shakiness in his voice got on your nerves. Five wasn’t one for getting antsy, much less when solving a problem. And what kind of deal was he talking about?

“What about doomsday?” Diego asked the important question.

“Won’t happen.”

“And the 2019 apocalypse?” Luther followed Diego’s example.

“Everything will be back to normal. All right?” Five glared at his brothers. “Now, no more questions.”

Feeling as though the latter statement was directed at yourself, you followed him and his brothers.

Five put the blazer back on, declaring, “We gotta go. We have to find the others, right?”

He gave clear instructions. Luther would get Allison, Diego would get Klaus, he would get Vanya, you would bury Elliott.

“Now, we meet back in the arrival alley in 77 minutes.”

You frowned. Time limits when it came to time travel had never been a good sign.

He handed you and his brothers synchronized watches. You reached for your gloves, putting them on before clasping the watch on top.

Diego was skeptical. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. You show up drenched in blood and expect us to believe everything’s gonna go back to normal if we go home now?”

“Elliot just got killed because of us,” Five sneered.

“What about dad? What about JFK?”

Here we go again...

“Diego, we have a chance to go home and make things right. We are taking it.”

“I have to say goodbye to Lila.”

“Lila doesn’t give a shit about you, Diego! She never did.”

You winced. That had been harsh, even for being something coming from Five. You could tell Diego really cared, he was failing miserably to hide his hurt.

“Lila is one of them. She’s a member of the Commission.”

“Not possible.”

“She was just using you to get to me.” Condescendingly, Five added, “You’re the Oswald of this story, my friend. The goddamned patsy.”

Raising his voice, Diego said, “Just because you found someone who is insane enough to want to be with you, doesn’t mean that everyone wants you.” He turned to look at you briefly, “no offense, you’re lovely, but in—“

Five interrupted his brother, approaching him and hissing, “If you don’t do this, I’ll kill you myself. Got it?”

You were truly worried now. That had been unprompted. Before you could say or ask anything, Five teleported. The whooshing sound made you cringe for the first time since you met him.

With a sigh, you kept yourself from entering in a self-absorptive moment. Everything would be okay in less than 70 minutes, there was no use in focusing on things that would only make you lose time.

Walking towards Elliot, you double-checked to make sure you had taken the car keys already.

Diego stopped you from carrying Elliot. “I’ll bury him after getting Klaus. He’s not far away from here.” You were about to deny him, but he pleaded in a low voice, “Please, (Name).”

Damn Diego and his puppy eyes. Nodding, you slid your hand into your pocket and withdrew the keys.

════════════════════════

Five paced. From left to right, from bottom to top. Luther shifted in his spot, checking his watch every few seconds.

Diego was nowhere to be seen, Vanya and Allison were late too. Five was shocked by the fact that a seemingly hangover Klaus had gotten there in time yet his more responsible siblings couldn’t be bothered.

The briefcase charged, Luther and you cursed sadly along with Five who threw the item off. As the briefcase disappeared, Five got angrier.

Sighing, he angrily lamented, “We were that close. That close!”

“Now what?”

“Now nothing, Luther. All right? Make your peace with God.”

“W—What?”

Luther’s confusion would’ve been endearing in any other circumstance, but you were sure Five was about to explode.

“What about Allison and Vanya?”

“Screw them both! They should have been here.”

“What about Diego?” Klaus chimed in.

“Screw Diego, all right? Screw everybody!” he yelled. “(Name) and I were better off on our own in the apocalypse.”

You looked down, avoiding Luther and Klaus. Five didn’t mean it, he would never mean something as brutal as that — not toward his siblings whom he had missed so deeply throughout those years.

Five tended to be hyperbolic, adrenaline got the best of him nine out of ten times. It had always worked in your favor until now. And even now, he must’ve been planning something else already.

“Five, come on!”

“You know what, Luther? It’s every sibling for himself now. How ‘bout that?”

Turning around, Five pulled the door open, slamming it shut after crossing the doorway.

Klaus whimpered, “Did Five just get meaner?”

“I’ll handle Five,” Luther assured. “You two go get the others.”

You shook your head. “It’s my fault that Diego isn’t here, I’ll talk to Five. You two follow the plan to get the others and I’ll see you here later.”

Walking up the stairs, you perked your ears to assess where Five could’ve been. He was being dramatic, and he wanted to be found, perhaps even followed — you knew because he would’ve teleported if that wasn’t the case.

Five was still pacing in the bedroom. He didn’t acknowledge you as you entered, too busy mumbling things to himself.

You weren’t interested in deciphering whatever he was saying under his breath, you wanted him to tell you what was really going on.

And he knew, after so many years together he had to know. Resting your back on the wooden door, you patiently waited for him to be done.

His pent-up frustrations had never bothered you. Perhaps because you had met him in a stressful situation, but mostly because you loved him.

“I’m going to do the unthinkable.”

“Of course you are.”

Five stared at you through his eyelashes. “We don’t have time for this.”

“Then what do we have time for, Five?”

“I don’t want to fight. Not right now.”

“You just want to break the most important rule of time travel,” you deadpanned, mocking him.

“I killed The Board for nothing, (Name)!”

“We can fix it!”

“You’re not surprised? I wasn’t supposed to kill anymore!” He kicked the bed, huffing out of his nostrils.

“Oh, come on,” you breathed out, getting rid of the uncomfortable watch and leaving it on the first surface you found. “We will always be assassins, Five. The difference now is that we’re doing it on our own terms.”

Sitting down on the edge of the bed with his head between his trembling hands, he let out a sob.

God, what a fucking awful day. You pushed yourself off the door. Walking towards him, slowly in case he wanted to have space, you discarded your gloves.

Taking the spot on the bed beside him, you placed your hand on his back and rubbed it. When he didn’t make a move to push you away, you wrapped your arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. “It’s okay. I’m here with you.”

Shifting, he wrapped both arms around you as he buried his face in the joint of your shoulder and neck. His shaky frame under your embrace broke your heart.

“The Handler tricked me — there wasn’t supposed to be a time limit.”

If he wasn’t so distressed, you would’ve punched him for making a deal with The Handler from all people.

“Vanya tried to fight me earlier,” he sniffed, resting his cheek on your shoulder. “Then after promising she’d be here she couldn’t do a simple task.”

“Have you considered the possibility that something happened to her, Allison, and Diego?”

“Who knows,” he grunted. “We have other things to worry about now.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled. Closing your eyes, you rested your head on top of his.

You just wanted a few minutes of silence in his embrace, holding him close like you used to after rough missions. And by the way his arms tightened around you, you asserted that he wanted the same.

[jj-5656]

🎄Fa-la-la-late🎄 With; Diego Hargreeves

A/N:Ummmm...hello? First off, thank you all so much for the love on my last couple imagines. Sorry for the hiatus, what can I say junior year is as hard as they say it is. Anyway, I was supposed to be sleeping last night but I was writing this instead. Leave it to me to become inspired at the worst times. This is for everyone celebrating a holiday this year without your family because of the pandemic (which is still a thing btw.) Also, this is very long but I love it. Okay enough talking, enjoy!

TW: None except...Well, Klaus is Klaus. And more random POV change bc I can!

He’s running, sprinting really, brown bag tucked haphazardly under his arm as it’s contents jostle around inside with his movements. Filled with last minute groceries for the evenings event. Never in Diego Hargreeves’ life had he thought he’d be rushing home in preparations for a Christmas party, in a red sweater for that matter. But what can he say, a year into his relationship with her and he’s officially whipped. Ever since the two of you met you had introduced him to an enormity of things he’d never considered important. Whether it be birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, you’ve added so much more to him that he could never really repay you for. So, he figures making a very last minute trip to the ever so crowded grocery store on Christmas Eve is worth it. Having to deal with other crazed and unprepared city people for three types of cheeses, four types of crackers, and a particularly expensive bottle of wine.

Apparently a Christmas party, or any get together for that matter, is simply incomplete without an assortment of appetizers. Right, Diego Hargreeves hosting a Christmas party for his siblings. The same ones who only learned about holidays in their World Culture textbooks during hours sectioned off on their daily regimen instead of actually celebrating them. The biting cold reminds him of the lonely Christmas’ throughout his life, which was at the time any other day of the year to him. He snaps out of the dark thoughts when he realizes he’s made it up the stairs and to the front door, a chorus of clanging pots and curses coming from inside.

He fumbles through the door, reminding himself he’s supposed to be rushing, but the beautifully decorated apartment distracts him from the task at hand. The warm feeling he’s still getting used to fluttering through his stomach as he recalls when you first surprised him with the holiday decor.

“It’s not too much, right? I know you never really celebrated Christmas, and neither of us are religious but my family always made the holidays a big deal and I thought-”

“You did all this?” His brown eyes are wide, gazing up at the assortment of twinkling lights aligning the interior of your shared home, a beautiful tree full of red and green ornaments in the middle of your living room. It’s stunning, to say the least, and Diego’s sure he’s never felt so much at home as he does now.

You’re gazing up at him, eyes nervously darting between your boyfriend and the assortment of ornaments. He walks forward from the entryway to admire the garland above the fireplace and the evergreen that just barely scruffs the top of the ceiling. It’s all new to him, and a bit overwhelming, and suddenly Diego realizes the resentment he’s held toward the holiday ever since he was a child was completely misguided. Because the joy he feels now, the warmth tingling throughout his body is foreign but so comforting.

“You hate it, don’t you? Listen, I just thought maybe I’d try and show you Christmas isn’t all about consumerism and selling shitty-”

“It’s beautiful.” He interrupts again, and you swear there’s a moisture begging to leave his eyes as he finally looks to you with an awed expression.

“I don’t, I’ve never...I always hated Christmas. I guess because I never had a real family as a kid. But this, this is j-just...Thank you.”

*End Flashback*

“You’re late!” You shout as the front door bursts open, a familiar thud of boots kicking snow off their bottoms and then walking towards the kitchen. Diego walks in with hands full with groceries, hair wet and messy with flurries of snow littering the raven strands. You narrow your eyes at the sight of him, dopey smile on his face as he sets the bags down on the counter.

“What’s gotten into you? I thought you’d still be grumpy at the fact that we’re hosting.” You’re less than presentable at the moment, having been cooking all day and leaving getting yourself ready for last minute. You puff a stray hair out of your face as he responds.

“Nothing, and actually I am still upset that my siblings are coming over.” He leans against the counter as you unpack the groceries, eager to finish up so you can look a little less crazy when the remaining Hargreeves arrive. Diego is still staring at you, grinning fondly at how flustered you look. And although he’d rather not have you meet his brothers and sister, you deserve to know why he’s keeping you from meeting. After all, it’s been a year since you’ve been together, and he’s met your family already.

It’s different though, because although they too have their issues, your family isn’t a dysfunctional pack of emotionally-stunted freaks. He’d much rather protect you from their intrusive antics. The warm feeling fades as he realizes what’s to come. He appreciates your optimism, truly, but he suddenly can’t shake the feeling that they’ll manage to upset you and ultimately screw up what you’ve been preparing for all day.

“A little help please?” You ground him once more, gesturing to the bags beside the both of you and the assortment of trays of food on the counters. Diego grabs onto your sides when you try to brush past him to check on the turkey, ignoring your incredulous look as he presses his body against yours.

“There’s still time to call this all off, you know. We can watch all the cheesy Christmas movies you want, and have dinner all to ourselves.” His eyes are hopefully looking into yours, the persuasion in his tone hinting a part of him isn’t really joking.

“Absolutely not. Di, we’ve been together for a year now. I want to get to know your siblings. Besides, you met my family and they loved you!”

“That’s different y/n, you’re family is...Well, they’re not like mine! You guys are normal! My brother is a moon-obsessed, half monkey moron and my sister is a mind-controlling movie star.” You can’t help but giggle at his words even though his frustration is adamant. He backs away from your embrace and runs his a hand through his hair in an effort to calm himself down. The sudden thought of one of them being too pushy or making you upset is overwhelming him now. If it’s one thing he’d like to keep you from, it’s the bad side of him his siblings tend to bring out.

“Diego.” Your voice is soft now, you’re using that love-laced tone that always makes him feel like he’s melting. He shivers as you get closer to him, still somehow getting used to the effect you have on him. And although you don’t notice, you seem to be aware you’re calming him down. “I’m scared too, I don’t want to mess something up or embarrass myself in front of them. Hell, your little-or...Older brother is a time traveling assassin who’s kind of a genius. It’s intimidating definitely, but they’re your family Di. I know you hate to admit it, but they’ve played a huge role in who you are. And even if a lot of times you resent each other, it’s clear you love them.”

He’s gotta admit, you’ve always had a way with words. “Fine, what can I do to help beautiful?”

“you can start with setting the table so I can get ready and actually look beautiful. And use the good China!” You plant a quick kiss to his cheek before rushing off to the bedroom, silently praying the anxious won’t drop a plate or two in the process.

****************************

“Baby, does red or white wine go with tur-woah.” You’re doing some finishing touches on your makeup when Diego walks in, honey brown eyes shamelessly looking over your figure with a smirk as he now leans against the door frame.

You roll you eyes at his ogling, but can’t help smoothing down the silky olive green fabric of the dress your wearing with a pleased smile. Gold jewelry adorns your neck and ears, with matching gold heels to bring the look together. The red of his sweater (he so stubbornly obliged to wearing) compliments the green you're wearing beautifully. A year ago, Diego wonders just how much it would take him to put on anything other than black.

“Cmon, they’ll be here any minute.”

As if I’m cue, the doorbell of the apartment rings. You rush to the front door, Diego trailing behind as he reminds himself how important the evening is to you.

“And remember, no knives.” You whisper to him, turning back around and opening the door.

“Fröhliche Weihnachten!” Klaus pushes through the entryway excitedly, tackling you in a hug in greeting. Luckily, you’ve already met the most eccentric sibling of the bunch. As he often crashes at your place, much to Diego’s disliking (or so he says).

“My my my, that dress is to die for! I’ll be borrowing that soon. And those heels! Please tell me we’re the same siz-”

“Alright bonehead, you can steal her stuff later. Take yourself and the booze to the kitchen.” Diego interrupts, shrugging when you slap his shoulder at his bluntness.

Greeting the rest of the family goes better than expected. Allison and Luther arrived together (an innocent carpool of course) whilst Vanya had come just a few minutes after Klaus, happy to see she wasn’t the first to arrive. She brought along with her a homemade dish, Allison with a top notch bottle of champagne, and Five with a box of Griddy’s  donuts and...Coffee? His odd choice of food making the perfect ice breaker, to his confusion of course. 

“Alright, enough small talk. Diego, how much are you paying this lovely lady to pretend to be your girlfriend?” Klaus interjects your conversation about current events as the rest of the table looks to the pair of you and laughs. 

“Seriously, Allison couldn’t even rumor someone to be this good of a cook,” Luther chimes in. Not having looked up from his plate for a majority of the meal.

Although slightly offended, Diego realizes his siblings have a valid point. You’re blushing crimson as you laugh along, shaking your head and nervously rambling on about when you just last week almost burnt the apartment down trying to perfect said recipes. He’s entranced as you speak, admiring the way you seem to capture all of them with unknown ease. Unknown, truly, because you’re still too modest to see how perfect you are. He doesn’t deserve you, but he’ll spend every day trying to even out the impossible score. It's known he can be quite the competitor. 

“I’m just shocked he’s out of black for once.”

“Says the 45 year old in a school uniform!”

                                          **********************

“Alright, I’ll clear up dinner so we can start dessert.” Y/n announces, just in time to halt a three-way argument between her boyfriend, Luther and Five about some Academy mission from when they were kids. The evening has been lighthearted for the most part, with a majority of the conflict being steered off by Allison or Vanya. The two practically experts at distracting their egotistical brothers. You catch on as they do so, the three of you having shared a few sly smirks between one another a few times throughout the meal. 

“Please y/n, let me. You’ve done more than enough tonight. Besides, I need someone to test out that wine for me.” Allison assures, kicking Diego’s shin and motioning to the kitchen when you’ve given her an appreciative smile and inquired Vanya on her violin skills. 

Allison’s knife wielding brother shoots her a look of shock at her actions, trailing along confusedly after her. Your empty plate and his own in hand as he sets them down in the sink. 

“What the hell? Why-where-you-hiding-her-from-us!) The curly haired woman emphasizes each word with a smack of a stray dish towel to his arm, sure nobody can hear them over Klaus’ obnoxious storytelling back in the dining room. 

“Quit it! I wasn’t hiding her I-I was protecting her from you shitheads.” Diego defends, once again bewildered by his sister’s playful outburst. 

“Diego! She’s amazing, you should’ve introduced us forever ago.�� 

“Right, she’s amazing. What do you not get by the word protecting? If you all had met her any sooner you would have scared her off!” He flails his arms as he speaks, unaware of his flushed cheeks as his sister smiles fondly at him. 

“What now Allison?”

“You loooveee her.” She poke his side as she teases, chuckling again when he swats her arm away. The scene is childish, but something about the heat rising through his neck to the tips of his ears makes Diego feel like a kid again. Allison teasing him about girls, just as they had when they were young. 

“Wh-whatever. Yeah, I love her. Can we go back to the table now, or should we paint our nails and giggle about how totes adorbs Luther Looks in that coat?” They both laugh at his mocking, leaving the room and too giddy to remember the discarded plates left behind. 

                                      ***********************

“An espresso machine? Wow, Columbia-brewed K-cups too! You shouldn’t have y/n.” Five is beaming at the gift in hand, wrapping paper still hanging off the side of the box as he admires the machine. His siblings stare confusedly at his jolly demeanor, and he immediately clears his throat before giving said girl a curt nod. “Thanks.” He deadpans, and you laugh with a nod at his change in demeanor. 

Luther and Allison have already opened their gifts, the burly man pointing to his miniature moon replica and lecturing about the craters and valleys to an extremely bored Klaus. Allison has already put on the elegant gold charm bracelet you’ve given her, rolling charm with Claire’s initials and birthstone on it with glossy eyes. Beside her, Vanya delicately peels the wrapping off to a freshly polished violin case, her name inscribed in cursive on the top. 

“It’s beautiful. I-I’m so sorry we didn’t get you anything. If I had known-”

“Nonsense V, I’m just glad you could all make it tonight.” You reassure with genuine smile, glad to see her positive response to the nickname. 

“I still can’t believe you got them gifts.” Diego mumbles from behind you, having climbed over the back of the couch you’re all sat on to have you sit between his legs. He kisses your temple and wraps his arms around your middle, softly humming when yo lean into him. The fireplace is crackling, and the record payer you love dearly quietly plays a Perry Como Christmas album. You close your eyes, taking in the warm feeling and relaxing in Diego’s touch. The two of you jumping when a shout comes from beside you.

“My turn! My turn!” Klaus claps loudly to grab your attention. You chuckle at his childish ways, leaning down to pick up the wrapped present at your feet and handing it off to him. Unlike the others, he eagerly rips apart the wrapping, gasping dramatically when he lifts up the skirt. 

“You’re a bit hard to shop for, there’s a gift receipt if-” The excitable man scrambles up from the floor tug on the fabric, twirling around in it in a fit of giggles before you can finish your statement. 

“Great, he’ll never take that off.” Diego mumbles in your ear, you shake your head with a smirk at his teasing before you’re reminded of something.

“Oh! And one more thing.” You note suddenly, climbing out of Diego’s hold as he huffs reluctantly. You pull a a final present from under the tree, secretly handing it to Klaus to make sure the others don’t see. Though they’re too enveloped in conversation to noticed.

“Another one for me?” He whispers happily, eyes furrowing when you shake your head. Sitting back down in Diego’s arms before you explain. 

“No, well...Yes, sort of. You’ll see.” You ramble, gesturing to the box in his hands as he apprehensively chuckles. You feel Diego’s eyes on you, deciding to place a peck on his jaw instead of elaborating. 

Klaus pulls out a pair of books, readig the well-known titles before looking up at you. You motion to the box once more, biting your nail as he sets them aside and reaches in once more. He pulls out  picture frame with a sharp intake of breathe, hand going over his mouth as he looks up at you once more. Your boyfriend, eager to see what has silenced his rowdy brother, takes the frame to inspect it. 

It’s a picture of him, Klaus, and Ben on the front steps of the academy. Having to be only five or six in the photo. Klaus has an arm around Ben, smiling big for the camera as his brother offers a smaller, but no less genuine grin to the lens. Diego sits a step above them, mouth frozen open in a laugh as he must of been reaction to something only Klaus could make him react so much at. 

“I remember Di telling me Ben read a lot. And...Well, it felt wrong to get everyone else a gift but him. Those are two of my favorit-”

“Wh-Where did you find this?” Diego whispers, arms encircled even tighter around you as he holds up the frame in shock. 

“When we were moving in. I found it at the bottom of one of the shelves at your room at the gym. It was under a bunch of old books you had, I figured it could use a frame.” Just as you finish, Klaus practically tackles you in a hug, a soft hiccup coming from him when he pulls away. 

“Geez Klaus, it’s just a skirt!” 

“Can-it Luther!”

                                     *************************

“You think he’ll be alright?” You mutter from the bedroom hallway. You and Diego leaning against the wall, looking at Klaus whose passed out on the sofa. The others having left hours ago, but you simply couldn’t wake him at seeing how peaceful he was. The picture frame still tucked to his chest as he snored softly. 

“Trust me, he’s fine. I think he’ll be sleeping in that skirt every night from now on.” Diego pulls you to your bedroom door as you laugh, the exhaustion from today finally setting. 

“Hey, would you look at that? Mistletoe.” Your head trails upwards to gaze up at the fruit being dangled above your head as you grin.

“Those are grapes Di.”

“Are they? Hmm, must be from that stupid cheese board I had to run across town for.” 

“It’s a chacuterie, actually. Didn’t you learn French Hargreeves?”

“Yep, but I only seem to remember two words.”

“Oh really? And what might those be?”

“Embrasse moi” He finishes as he connects his lips with yours, holding your face as if you might slip away when he lets go. 

“Smooth, knife boy.” You pull away softly, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

“Merry Christmas Di.”

[faithfulcat111]

My internet company for work is down so you guys get two posts in one day today for my Five leaves the apocalpyse early au thingy:

-Meanwhile, back at the mansion, Luther returns from his day out investigating. Yes, he was still on the murder theory, but is ready to drop it because by this point he has found proof of alibis for nearly everyone, except technically Five, but the apocalypse seemed as good as any alibi. Even if he couldn't prove it.

-Pogo still shows Allison the tapes and she goes and finds Luther when he gets back and shows him the tape of Regi-old's death. They need to have a family meeting about Grace.

-The next day, Vanya drops off Five at the mansion for Grace to take a look at him. She kinda rushes out before updates could be traded as she is running late for orchestra practice.

-Allison saw how strange Grace acted that morning during breakfast so she sticks close. Grace is acting off and Five seems slightly down, but doesn't appear to want to talk about last night. The bullet wound was cleaned up well. Grace declares while Five is severely malnourished, he would make a full recovery. They will just need to monitor his food intake. He finally gets some soup and perks up some after Allison says they will pick up Vanya after her practice then they will take him to his mental health appointment.

-Jumping to Diego, Patch arrested him the night before. He wasn't too beaten up, but he gets released. He sees the message Allison sent him about the family meeting about something being wrong with Grace and doesn't bother Patch too much before heading back to the Academy. There he finds Klaus digging through the dumpster looking for the stuff he dumped out of the box he pawned off a few days ago. (Klaus and Luther will become more relevant soon, they just haven't been drawn into the new plot quite as much yet as the other three have)

-Patch continues to investigate what exactly the guys who broke into Meritech were after. Of course, this means a full check into Meritech's records. (One of y'all noticed i was going this route, good job :) )

-Five and Allison meet Vanya outside her orchestra place. She is down due to the whole conversation with Helen, so they stop at Griddy's for some donuts. Agnes is there (i love her, of course she is) . No, Five does not drink coffee. I firmly believe he was introduced to it in the commission. He isn't allowed milk either due to risk of him getting sick from it. Just a donut and some water. He ends up splitting it with Vanya.

-The doctor they end up visiting notices there is a lot wrong with this child, he clearly has gone through some elongated form of isolation, deals with communication issues, ptsd, and talking to things that aren't there as a result. He also tends to stand extremely close to his siblings, ignoring most sense of personal space (needs to remember they sre alive and it is easier if he can feel them or hear them breathe).

-Allison convinces the doctor they got someone already focusing on Five's physical issues and agrees that at least Five and Vanya would be back on April 2nd for a follow-up. Five is relieved by that. The siblings now have proof that they are taking care of Five if any police go poking, hopefully not too far, and he has the relief that this is going to happen after. He likes the idea of an after the apocalpyse is stopped.

-The three head back towards the Academy. Leonard sees the three of them together. He needs to get Vanya isolated and they seem to be coming back together as a family now. He may not be able to start talking to her so much now, but he can start laying the seeds. He heads back to Vanya's apartment to get rid of the pills she keeps there.

[glitterfairy-21225]

Vanya Hargreeves- A Character Analysis/A Defense

Honestly, I think the fandom underestimates how fucked up Vanya's isolation must have been for her to be the way she was in season one. Like, I once saw a fic that was like, 'Oh, Klaus used to go to all Vanya's concerts but got banned because he clapped too loud!' And that was a sweet sentiment but when I really thought about it.... No. No, he didn't. That didn't happen.

I think some of the discourse on Vanya is a misconception on just how emotionally stunted she was. Like, we're holding her to the standards of someone with emotional maturity making rational decisions.

One of the most damaging things you can do to yourself is repress. Vanya has been repressing her entire life, without her own consent. She was raised to hold in her emotions, it is the only thing she knows how to do. So holds back and holds in until finally it all comes bursting out in her in the worst way possible.

During the season one finale, Vanya remembers cruel things her siblings said to her... And it's extremely underwhelming. It feels like shit I'd say to my sibling. For awhile I wondered why they didn't go big on how messed up she was treated. But look at it from this lens: Vanya is so broken emotionally that she is unable to differentiate between siblings being siblings and abuse. They are one and the same to her. 

There were no clap backs. No retorts. They were just moments she internalized so bad and so hard. It was only until she had the power that she was even capable of fighting back, and by then it's not siblings being shits, it's a representation of all the little bouts of power she was deprived of her entire life.

The White Violin is the personification of Vanya's bitterness. She sucks the life out her brothers in the finale, but not because she wants to kill her brothers, but because her rage has built up into delusion. She's not hurting anyone in her eyes, she's finally taking what she's been kept from her entire life and stopping anyone who wants to silence her again.

As for her book... Vanya spent her entire childhood being repressed and likely thought that once she was an adult, once she was free, once she was around people ordinary like her, all that powerlessness would go away. But it didn't. Because trauma doesn't work like that. She still has no agency and is still ignored. I don't fully condone what she does with the book but I think we need to take more strides in understanding her.

I don't actually think one of her character flaws is judging her siblings. She gets overly emotional, of course, but I do not think Vanya was given remotely enough time with her siblings to see them in a good light. 

I mean, even in just season one, Diego is downright cruel for the first half, Luther... we know how that ends, Allison tries but tends to be insensitive at times, Klaus doesn't even talk to her in the first season, and Five says hi in the first episode and then he's elsewhere.

You could say that all that's a result of her actions, or that they just had more important things than her going on. And fair, absolutely fair. But I don't think this is a new occurrence.

As for the ethics of publishing it, I don't blame her that much for it anymore.... In a way. I feel like I'd have to actually read it. But to be fair the book is an autobiography and a recounting of Vanya's life. And I think the case could be made that she has a right to publish her own life story because it's hers. Even how she may or may not have written about her siblings, it could be argued that as it's Vanya's story, portraying them as they were presented to her makes sense.

It's commonly agreed that her book held accusations and assumptions, but no one's actually read the thing. The show excerpts don't really show that for me. Comic excerpts, definitely. But this is the show and I don't think I'll count that because of how different they are. I don't disapprove of using the comic as a source, but still. 

Like, she talks about how they aren't a real family, which like... Honestly, I feel was a sentiment they all shared. Diego was the one who took it as an insult the most, but of course he was. He's not exactly portrayed as sensible the first few episodes. You could say Vanya didn't fight back, but face to face she does not know how to defend herself. Allison threw it in her face out of spite but didn't say anything too damning.

I can see editors pushing her to add more stuff on her siblings and Vanya doing it because she's only capable of standing up for herself indirectly. And the stuff she added wasn't nice, but she doesn't have much material now does she?

Notice how The White Violin smiled at Allison after just a week of her sister trying. Notice how much better she is with the rest of her family after they include her in season two. After being included in fun time with Klaus and Allison, after Diego forgives her, after Luther apologizes.  She was undeniably bitter, but I think she's always been capable of letting that bitterness go if her siblings had just treated her as a sister. 

All this to say; Vanya Hargreeves is a flawed person. She has no emotional control. But I have seen a lot of criticisms of her, some completely and one hundred percent fair based on how you would interpret her and her actions. But I personally feel as if there are also criticisms taken in bad faith that misunderstand Vanya and do not do her justice, and this is just my two cents.

[thewatermelloncat]

Stupid Surprises

Summary: Loosely based on this prompt from Anonymous:

Your fics are my favorite 😊 I have a prompt if it inspires you! Maybe Klaus brings home a stray cat or dog that he initially wants to keep, and is going to surprise the siblings with it, until Five "mysteriously" can't stop sneezing, and Klaus realizes Five's allergic to the pet and his surprise is about to backfire.

☆ Read the prompt once and then it got muddled around in my head while I formulated the story. Kind of missed the brief on this one, sorry mate. Hope you like it anyway!  ☆

Author’s Note: I chose a cat because I definitely think Klaus is more of a cat person. Also, with Mr Pennycrumb in canon, I doubt that Five would be allergic to dogs.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Not that they all expected Klaus to walk into the room with his arms flailing to excitedly announce his entrance, but it was certainly suspicious that he stepped in slowly with his arms close to his body. The sight of their brother in his long black coat appearing to be hugging himself would seem like he was cold but the summer night outside didn’t permit that kind of behaviour. Almost at once everyone in the room turned to him as he awkwardly hung by the door.

Seeming to notice all eyes on him he steps forward a little and hesitantly says, “what would you all say if I brought a cat home?”

The reaction was instant, a few scoffs of surprise around the room, a couple of shaken heads, but Allison was the first to speak. “You didn’t!” she crosses her arms in disbelief.

“Oh, but I did” a twinkle of mischief sparks in Klaus’ eyes as he pulls out a black kitten from his coat, not much bigger than his hand.

At the sight of the cat both Allison and Luther’s expressions soften, after all it is undeniably cute. Vanya makes an adoring hum as she sits forward in her chair to get a better look at it.

“How did you catch it?” Diego scoff in wonder, knowing that stray cats tend to run away from strangers. More interested in the story than the cat itself.

“It’s friendly” Klaus chirps as he adjusts the kitten in his hands.

“All right then, why?” Five asks, ever practical.

“Well, we have tons of room and I thought why not?”

“But a stray, Klaus?” Allison asks. “We could just go and buy you one. It’s not like we don’t have the money for it.”

“Where’s the charity in that?” Klaus dismisses.

“Buy you one from a shelter then” Allison corrects.

Klaus hums dismissively and shrugs his shoulders. “Already got this one.”

“How do you know that it’s not diseased?” Luther brings up.

“I’ll get him checked out” Klaus promises, looking down fondly at the kitten in his grasp.

“How do we know it’s a him?” Diego mentions.

“I’ll get that checked out too” Klaus says.

“What are you going to do with it in the meantime?” Vanya asks. “Doubt any vets will be open at this time.

“He can stay in my room but I’m going to show him round first” Klaus says before setting off to do just that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

From the minute Klaus walked in with that cat Five knew he was allergic to it. He’d never had any experience with cats before, never owned one and never spent time around one, but somehow, he just knew. Though it wasn’t something he would say. His brother seemed so happy when he had pulled it out of his coat the night before and he didn’t want to get in the way of that. The mansion is a huge place, he’d probably never see the thing anyway.

 Well, firstly, he was wrong. Immediately when he walked into the kitchen for breakfast, he saw the thing on Klaus’ lap. Not wanting to cause a fuss he picked up a piece of toast and poured himself some coffee before sitting over at the other end of the table.

“Does it have a name yet?” Vanya asks.

“Amity” Klaus looks down as he scratches the cat’s head, it purring faintly.

“I thought you were calling it a him?” Diego recalls after hearing the feminine name.

“Well, we don’t know for sure that it isn’t a girl yet. And besides it’s a cat, does it really matter?”

“Guess not” Diego mumbles as he looks back down to his breakfast.

“How old do you think it is?” Luther asks.

“I don’t know, I’m not a cat scientist” Klaus starts rambling as Diego turns toward Five.

“Hey, you’re weirdly uninterested in this.”

“When am I ever interested in anything you talk about?” Five drones.

“You usually have an opinion on everything one way or another” Diego points out before dropping the topic entirely. He seems to leave Five alone but every now and again Five can feel Diego eyeing him suspiciously.

 “When are you taking it to the vet?” Vanya asks Klaus amid another conversation.

“Around lunchtime, I can’t be bothered leaving yet” Klaus reasons.

“In that case should we all head up to the lounge then?” Allison suggests to which they all do, seeing that no one has any complaint.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Unfortunately, with the group moving to the lounge in a mass exodus, Five wasn’t able to grab a chair faraway from Klaus. Not that it mattered anyway with his brother allowing the cat to roam around freely. Though he was able to distract himself with a book he’d nabbed from the shelf and was doing his best to ignore the itching in his nose. He wasn’t particularly worried about his cat allergy making an appearance in front of his siblings, he had good self-control.

 “Huppt” Five silently stifles a sneeze that he’d been feeling building up for a while now. He’d been trying to hold it in as long as possible but it could no longer be helped.

The quiet noise went mostly unnoticed, just a few glances his way. People sneeze, it’s nothing to worry about. Though overtime the frequency Five’s sneezing increases. No more than two at a time but to his siblings it becomes concerning.

Luther looks over to Five after he stifles another double and sniffs congestedly, his expression worried. “Are you getting sick?”

For a quick second Five considers lying as saying yes. It would be an easy escape to his problem but it would be harder to uphold when further questions would be asked. “No” he shakes his head.

“You sure, you’re sounding like it?” he checks.

“Trust me, it’s nothing to worry about” Five says and before his brother can open his mouth again, he tells him, “I’m going up to my room.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Ah, shit!” Five whispers out a curse as he inspects his blazer, finding a strand of black fur imbedded in it already. “AIKx'schoo!” he doesn’t even have time to contemplate how that’s practically impossible seeing he hadn’t gone near enough to the cat for that to happen, before another sneeze tears out of him.

Nonetheless it was only one fur, easily plucked out of the fabric weave and discarded. No point making a fuss of it. After shouldering the blazer back on Five turns around hearing footsteps stop in his doorway.

“The general consensus downstairs is that you’re sick and aren’t admitting it” Diego says coolly as he leans against the frame.

“I’m not sick” Five upholds.

“I never said I agreed with them” Diego tilts his head knowingly.

“Humour me then, Diego. What is it that you think?” Five says smugly.

“I think that your allergic to the cat.”

Five’s smug expression drops and he says nothing because there really isn’t anything that he has prepared to say against that. Though his change in expression is enough of a confirmation.

“Five, you have to tell him” Diego sighs.

“Don’t make a deal of it” Five dismisses. “I’ll barely ever see it.”

“Think harder” Diego prompts. “He’s going to carry that cat around everywhere. It’ll be attached to his hip.”

“That’s exactly why I can’t tell him” Five snaps before he shrugs his shoulders, “it makes him happy.”

“But we can’t have you wondering around miserable” Diego gestures to him. “Will you not tell him?”

Five’s silence serves to answer the question and he reads Diego’s face as his expression changes. Watching his brother draw in a deep breath before he turns back from the door, Five knows what he plans to do.

In an instant he has Diego pressed against the wall with his forearm against his chest. It’s more the surprise that holds Diego there with his strength outweighing Five’s enough to overpower him if he wanted to.

“You will not tell him!” Five whispers harshly.

Diego stares down at him with a defiant look.

“If you tell him” Five pauses to pull a knife out from Diego’s belt and brings it up against his throat. “I’ll take this knife and cut your neck.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

His empty threat didn’t work on Diego as he finds out later when Klaus comes up to his room.

“Knock, knock” he says as he raps on the doorframe, his voice sounding far too gentle for Five to expect a normal conversation.

“What do you want?” Five’s distasteful tone aims to scare him away.

“To talk to you” Klaus says, undeterred by Five’s hostile demeanour. He pauses for a second to get his bearings before he says simply, “Diego told me.”

Instantly a grumble winds up in Five’s throat but before he can speak and curse Diego’s existence, Klaus interrupts him.

“Hey, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“I’m not embarrassed by it” Five maybe lies a little. “I just don’t want you to feel bad about it.”

“I’d feel worse if I didn’t know and you suffered in silence” Klaus tells him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

It takes a couple of seconds for Five to answer but when he does, he says, “you seemed so happy.”

Klaus smiles and breathes out a little laugh. “There are other things that make me happy.”

“But it’s not fair to make you give it up and throw it back out on the street” Five reasons.

“Hey, we don’t need to get into all of that” Klaus stops him as he pulls an extra chair up to the desk to sit beside him. “Now, I’ve talked to Vanya” he says with his expression turning more serious. “Her apartment allows them to keep pets, so she’s agreed to take it.”

Five seems to settle a little but he still says, “I don’t want to make you do that, Klaus.”

“It’s no problem” Klaus shakes his head. “Vanya likes Amity and Amity seems to like her.”

“But the cat doesn’t stay with you.”

“No” Klaus shakes his head and Five can see past his smile that there is hurt behind his eyes. “But I can go visit anytime I want.”

Despite Klaus’ expression his words are spoken in a cheerful tone and Five relaxes a little more. Knowing that somehow Klaus will forgive him.

“And this way you can get back to your usual self and Amity doesn’t get thrown back on the street” Klaus continues brightly.

Five purses his lips in half a smile but his hum of recognition is cut short as he suddenly needs to sneeze. “Her’isshh!” he only just manages to lean away from Klaus.

“Ah shit, sorry” Klaus exclaims as he stands out of his chair. “Probably all covered in fur” he identifies before looking down at his clothes, seeing black strands stuck to the fabric.

“It’s all right, Klaus” Five quickly utters before he turns away to sneeze again. “hig’nxxt... nrgtsch!”

“I’ll leave you alone” Klaus hurriedly makes for the door before he turns around once he’d passed through. “Vanya’s about to take the cat back with her, but I doubt you’d want to say goodbye.”

[in-tua-deep]

Vanya is so tired of all the bullshit at this point in unviable au and like just Vanya being a tad bit p snarky is great

honestly if you hang around Klaus long enough you have to develop snark in sheer self defense. ESPECIALLY a Klaus who talks to not one but TWO ghosts so you only get like, a whole half to a third of the conversation and have to fill in the blanks yourself smh

And Vanya?? she protective where it counts. In the show itself, Leonard gets there first and when Allison questions him, Vanya gets defensive. In the unviable au, Klaus gets there first and makes Vanya feel included. So even though he’s an absolute pain in the ass she comes down resolutely on his side

And Klaus, who is used to having none of his (living) siblings on his side... it’s nice. When Allison accuses him of just wanting to grift Vanya for drug money... she defends him.

Even Diego, who also loves Klaus, would probably just gruffly say that that’s his problem.

So Vanya and Klaus get pretty close in this au actually, and you know what that means???

It’s Klaus who technically stops the apocalypse. Just by being there for her.

Actually now that I think about it, this might genuinely be an everyone lives au?? Except Five ofc, but like. Leonard Peabody hasn’t been able to get close to Vanya yet, so he probably doesn’t kill Helen Cho so that Vanya can be first chair. Wow like, so far no one except Five and Ben has died what a wild ride.

So they get team apocalypse together and recruit two more (hello boyfriend Dave, who is going to help Klaus keep clean!!) and then... what?

With all the stress and everything going on, Vanya probably... forgets to take her pills. She doesn’t even think about it in between trying to figure out what they’re supposed to be doing to prevent the apocalypse when their only clue is that someone related to Vanya might cause the apocalypse? And even then, could be a chain effect so the number of people who could end the world is like... weirdly high. 

And hey, Vanya has other things to worry about than her pills anyway. Klaus keeps trying to raid the fridge, if Diego puts a hole in her walls with one of his knives she’s actually going to commit murder, Dave keeps politely asking where she keeps various things so that he can make everyone tea. Five keeps rattling things to prove that he’s there (and he really needs to stop because being physical with items takes energy he needs to conserve)

Anyway, since Hazel and Cha-Cha were asking questions about Vanya, they realize that Vanya’s place... probably isn’t the safest? So they all end up going to the library to camp out because lets be real the library is an excellent public resource, and lots of libraries have private rooms - nowhere better to brainstorm

“If they know about my apartment, then they know about the mansion.” Vanya points out, absently rolling a marker across the table. 

(The room came with a whiteboard, presumably to help students or something, that Five has already capitalized as his own personal writing surface since Klaus tends to prefer paraphrase over direct translation.)

“The mansion?” Dave asks politely, because he really has no idea what the fuck he’s in for.

“Where we grew up.” Vanya informs him, because she’s a nice person and figures he doesn’t deserve to flounder considering he’s literally out of time here. 

“I told you about how dad sucked.” Klaus says offhandedly as he swipes a purple marker from thin air so that he can continue doodling flowers on the whiteboard.

“Okay okay,” Dave says, waving his hands, “Slow down. Was everything you told me true? Because I will be honest I thought most of it was like. Your uh, vivid imagination.”

“Probably true,” Diego says over Klaus’s outraged squawk, “But very... embellished. Klaus has that effect.”

“I resemble that remark!” Klaus pulls himself together admirably.

“I know you do, babe.” Dave says, leaning over to take Klaus’s hand in his own, smiling fondly. Klaus absolutely melts and a large E W is written across the whiteboard in bright red ink. 

“Mind your business, junior.” Klaus says, sticking his tongue out in the direction everyone assumes Five to be. Immediately after this comment, Klaus gets beaned in the head by said red marker.

“Children, children.” Vanya rolls her eyes, “Can we get along for five minutes?”

“In this family?” Diego snorts dismissively. And then starts because Vanya smacks him on the arm for being an ass.

In the last few days, Vanya has attended the funeral of the man who emotionally fucked her up, found out that her two dead brothers were hanging around, found out the apocalypse was incoming, is being stalked by time traveling assassins because she is somehow related to the apocalypse happening, lied to people to get info on an eye, bailed on practice, crawled out a bathroom window, rescued her kidnapped brother only to watch him vanish before her eyes. Honestly she is all out of fucks to give. She’s tired, cranky, and more than a little stressed.

“Can you order pizza to a library?” Klaus muses absently, head turned in a way that means he’s probably talking to Ben. 

“No, Klaus. Stop.” Vanya all but begs.

“Not that I don’t love the library.” Dave observes, looking around. He looks around a lot, constantly marveling at the differences between the world back in his day and now. “But if Vanya’s apartment and uh, ‘the mansion’ aren’t options. Where are we supposed to be staying?”

Bless Dave for keeping them on topic.

Vanya and Klaus look at each other. And then as one they look at Diego.

“No. Absolutely not.” Diego protests, crossing his arms. “I live in a boiler room. That doesn’t even count. It can’t have four people staying in it.”

“Six people.” Klaus emphasizes, gesturing at thin air. Diego mumbles apologies, which is in self preservation really because Five really does have fantastic aim and doesn’t give a fuck about manners. 

“We can have a sleepover!” Klaus cheers, clapping his hands like he’s at a one man party. 

“No.” Diego emphasizes.

They all end up in Diego’s boiler room. 

“Five says he wants the bed.” Klaus claims as soon as they walk in.

“Five is dead.” Diego growls, “He’s not getting the bed.”

“Ben says that’s dead-ist.” Klaus accuses pointing a finger at Diego, who slaps it away. 

“Well I suppose the youngest should get the bed.” Vanya muses out loud, which just makes Klaus burst into laughter. This in turn means that the pillow on Diego’s bed seems to move on its own in an attempt to smother the lanky man.

“I’m fine with the floor.” Dave offers, “Used to way worse in the jungle. This’ll actually be pretty nice. No bugs at least.”

Klaus pauses in wrestling with the pillow, “Aw, babe. That’s so sweet. I’m on the floor, too!”

Diego sighs deeply, “Ugh. Fucking. Fine. Vanya can have the bed.”

“Thank you.” Vanya says gracefully, picking her way through Diego’s... place is a generous word, to sit on the bed. 

“Do you have any movies?” Klaus asks, and has has somehow transitioned to being sprawled across the floor kicking his feet in the air with his face in his hands, “Oh! Or popcorn! Nail polish?”

“This is not a sleepover.” Diego growls, “This is... this is a tactical base.”

“I have some hairties in my pocket?” Vanya offers, fishing out one and tossing to towards a squealing Klaus. 

“Yes!” Klaus cheers, holding up his prize with great victory, “Vanya, can I do you hair?”

“Sure.” Vanya says shrugging, scooching over to allow for Klaus to scrabble onto the bed to sit behind her. 

“Hey Diego do you own a hairbrush?” Klaus asks, pulling Vanya’s hair out of her ponytail and running his fingers through it. Diego scowls. “I’ll take that as a no.”

Klaus scooches over enough so that Dave can sit behind him and they manage to cram three adults onto the bed as Dave starts ruffling at Klaus’s hair, humming thoughtfully. 

“I hate all of you.” Diego growls, crossing his arms and definitely not pouting. 

“I love team apocalypse.” Klaus says as cheerfully as possible.

“Don’t you have two other siblings?” Dave asks, brow furrowed in slight confusion. Klaus probably told him all about his fucked up family while they were in Vietnam together, to pass the time. At the time Dave hadn’t actually believed Klaus (body of a monkey? teleportation? tentacle powers? but you know what he’s in the future and he’s either having the worst acid trip, he’s dead, or this is real and why not roll with it).

Vanya, Klaus, and Diego all grimace as one.

“Luther and Allison... have their own issues they’re working on right now.” Vanya says diplomatically.

“Hold up.” Klaus says, craning his head around to look at Diego, “Is Luther still on that ‘dad was murdered’ bullshit?”

“Your dad was murdered?” Dave asks, looking a little shocked.

“What is Allison even doing?” Diego tilts his head a little bit, ignoring Dave’s question entirely.

“Judging my life choices.” Vanya mutters reproachfully. Klaus, as the terrible life choice in question, pats her shoulder sympathetically. 

“In all fairness, if it weren’t for. You know. Everything. I probably would have robbed you for money.” Klaus admits with a simple shrug, and gets a pat on the shoulder from Dave in return.

“I know she cares or whatever.” Vanya says sighing, “But like. The way she goes about it. Like she knows everything and has to impart her wisdom on us lesser beings. Like she didn’t ruin her own life.”

“Wow.” Klaus hums, tugging on the end on Vanya’s new braid, “I didn’t realize we were onto the shit talking portion of the sleepover.”

“This isn’t a sleepover.” Diego’s protest falls on deaf ears.

“I’m open to building a relationship.” Vanya says firmly, “But that’s what it needs to be. Building a relationship. Because quite frankly, we don’t have one. She acts like, I don’t know, the fact that we’re sisters should trump the fact that she ignored me at best for like, the last twenty-nine years of my life.”

“Go off, queen.” Klaus says gleefully, running his fingers through Vanya’s hair and undoing the braid he just finished entirely. “Where have you been hiding all our lives?”

“In my room, mostly.” Vanya deadpans, “Sequestered away like all of Dad’s boring treasures.”

“If your dad was still alive I’d fight him for all of you.” Dave says very seriously. Seriously enough that it makes Vanya snort, and Klaus burst into giggles, and even Diego shakes his head. 

“I love you so much, Dave.” Klaus says seriously, and then looks over Dave’s shoulder, “No I don’t - it’s a different sort of love Ben. You’re still my favorite brother! Wait, no Five - actually yes Five because Ben is everyone’s favorite brother - ”

“Confirmed.” Diego immediately says, which makes Klaus whirl around, his hand at his chest and gasping like a Victorian maiden. 

“Sorry Five.” Vanya says, nodding along mock seriously. “Ben never lost my violin bow and tried to blame it on the monster under the bed.”

“Hold up, hold up hold up.” Klaus says immediately, eyes pingponging between Vanya and someone the rest of them can’t see, “I smell a story. Pray tell, Vanya. Do you have a tale that paints the illustrious Five in a... less than pristine light?”

“Oh Klaus.” Vanya practically purrs, mischief lighting up her eyes, “I was Five’s favorite sibling. I know all the dirty little secrets.”

And that’s the moment when Diego’s shitty bed flips and dumps Vanya, Klaus, and Dave onto the floor.

“Five!” 

[timerainseternal]

Who’s your favorite character of tua and why

I enjoy most of the characters in Umbrella Academy, but my favorite is Five! As for why, there are a lot of reasons, but I think, writing-wise it's because I don't know what he will do at any given moment, but I trust where he's going. This is a difficult balance to pull off, but I'll try to explain exactly what I mean and why I feel that way.

Firstly, I don't know what he'll do, which makes him interesting to watch. He's full of contradictions in many ways, he's very resourceful, and he's written as someone who is extremely smart. (Though another thing I find interesting is that unlike with many other "genius" characters, intelligence--as in knowledge or ability like with his scribbling-on-the-walls math--isn't his primary trait, at least not to me. Before that I would say that he is at least determined, as well as resourceful in a way that isn't linked strictly to book smarts. Instead, he's driven on sustained desperation that "geniuses" never seem to get in media, and even though he's so smart and generally competent, his plans often or always fail, which I actually made a whole post about. Even further, we know he's 58, so his knowledge is based not only on natural ability, but also a lot of work and time, which is also not the general presentation. We know he's smart, but figuring out time travel took him a whole lifetime.) Anyway, even his power set is...fluidly defined. I don't know what plans he will make, or what side effects will follow--only that, based on past experience, side effects will follow. As such, I'm very entertained watching him constantly pivoting and coming up with new ideas and plans, especially since I think he gets more plot turns than anyone else in the series, or at least is a more active force in those turns.

His choices also showcase the desperation that is at the core of him, and the moral greyness that comes from it. He's not bound by normal considerations like most of the others are; often, he doesn't even consider them. What might be off-limits to others isn't off-limits to him (which is like his powers in a funny kind of way). But really, it all stems from the fact of having lost everything with his 45-year stint in the apocalypse and the loneliness that comes from that. It's an interesting philosophical thought experiment. What are morals in a dead world? What are a few thousand people compared to the end of humanity? What are we if everything else gets stripped away?

And for Five, the answer is not in the violence we've seen him commit, but instead the love he shows. He was presented as a prickly genius who is smarter than everyone and knows everything (like he says to Allison in ep 1) and who is also a time-travelling assassin hardened by decades in a wasteland. We expect competence, cold calculation, and a near-complete lack of empathy. But then we meet Dolores, and we learn that he's doing everything for his family, and we see that everything he does is for love of other people. Specific other people, sure, but love nonetheless. And he isn't cool about it, isn't aloof; he's lost it all before, and he's desperate, and nothing he does--despite what most shows tell you about geniuses--really fixes any problem completely, and especially not the relationships that got broken when he left.

Yet even despite all that, he's also predictable in a way that lets me trust him. Obviously, as an audience, we see how pressing and devastating the apocalypse is. It's the end. Yet none of the other characters understand that the way we do, or the way Five does. His ultimate goal is to stop that from happening and protect his family, and given his life experience, I know that there is nothing that will stop him as long as he's around. I trust that his character will make decisions towards an end goal that I agree with as the audience, and that as long as that remains true, I know that even if I don't know where he's going with a plan, I can at least trust his intent. Even with the Commission, where he worked as an assassin and presumably murdered innocents, the end goal is great enough that it makes sense. Moreover, though, is that once we see that his motivation is for love and to protect, not from a place of sadism or superiority, and that he will even listen to others to find a less violent workaround (as with Luther in s1), I trust his intentions even more.

That's part of what makes the murder of the Board, and then the aftermath, so interesting: it's a study in contradiction, the urge to be violent and feel seen and effective and successful, contrasted with a sense of guilt and remorse and an understanding that it's not the best version of himself. He's warring with those instincts, but the writers have portrayed him in a way that allows for understanding and sympathy.

For another thing, as I think @the-aro-ace-arrow-ace mentioned, given his unique standing as both 13 and 58, he can't really have a romantic relationship to pull him away like the others can, nor do I think he would if he could, considering the timespan the show tends to give him. He's not really in the mindset for romance at all, and especially not a romance that would distract him from his goals. Not only was Dolores an extension of his own mind for a long time, but also was one he was willing to abandon, first going with the Handler, then again towards the end of season 1. Not only does this make his goals less likely to be swayed from what I, as an audience member, consider to be important, but also romance as the sort of "love at first sight, I will prioritize you over everyone else without any real merit behind it" is always a bit flimsy to me. Maybe I'm a little too aromantic to get it, but I generally find it a bit distracting at best unless done really well. (I did like Raymond and Allison as a couple. I thought that was done really well, where they had time and chemistry and respect for each other, and I enjoyed the time they spent together. It doesn't hurt that Allison is my second favorite, but it stands well even besides that. It's just a good relationship.)

Finally, all of that plays into Five's relationships with others. He isn't good at being a social creature (understandable), yet that's what he values most: his family. He wants to be empathetic--and in many cases he can be--but he's battling his own inability to be understood. He doesn't even fully understand himself in the world he left when he was a child. In a very real sense, he can't do what has become most important to him--not that his siblings are the best role models for communication. It makes sense, then, that he was able to seemingly connect with Reginald. Five wants to connect with the people he missed and felt like he wronged, no matter if he actually was in the wrong or not. He so often gets ignored/misunderstood/considered crazy that even as someone just watching that conversation, it felt cathartic for him to be listened to and taken seriously, even if I think Reginald is the absolute worst and that the best thing for him to do would be to stay dead. Five thought he was being the most rational of his siblings in that supper, but he didn't realize that his biases were as strong or stronger, and just had a different root. His relationships with others are his strongest desire/goal/motivator, but he has such a distorted perception of the way the world works on a daily, interpersonal level and also who he is in that world, that he can't really make it work right, and that's really neat to watch.

In my mind, also, what Five is looking for isn't actually his family from 2019. It isn't even his family from 2002, or at least not just them. I think that what he wants is to be who he was when he left, before he got stuck in the apocalypse. He wants his family because he loves them--I don't doubt that, and I don't want to discredit it--but also because I think in some sense he believes that if he can just be with them again, he can make things the way they used to be, the way he used to be. He's kind of like Luther in that regard, except that Luther is beginning to move on, and Five is stuck in it. The tragedy in this, of course, is that he's the time traveller here, and no matter what time he goes to, his only choice is forwards for himself. He can't go back, even if he reaches the exact moment he left. This, of course, is speculation--or analysis, if we use the kinder term--but I think it shows how much can be read into his character based on his choices and narrative arc, and that in itself is interesting whether it was intended or not.

So, that's an overly long answer to your question! It's Five because I think he's interesting, and I think he's interesting because the writers have backed themselves into a corner where he kind of has to be. I hope that was what you were looking for!

[mstinteresting]

𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐆𝐎 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐊𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐒

𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 :

Diego’s relationship with Klaus is....special. Diego often finds himself viewing Klaus more as a baby brother which makes him extra protective of him. He values the relationship with Klaus more than he might ever be able to express. Klaus has had his back more than any of his other siblings (that he can remember) and Diego makes it a point to return that to Klaus. They don’t always see eye to eye and he constantly worries about him but....if there’s anyone he truly trusts? It’s Klaus. Klaus is his best friend and will always be. 

𝟎-𝟒 

The first years of Diego’s life are marked heavily by his lack of speech and his gentle nature that was slowly being redirected to something more aggressive. Before the age of four, Diego spent much of his time with either Klaus or Vanya. While his other siblings probably didn’t mean to ignore him or leave him out, it seemed to happen more often than not with Diego being easy to forget when so quiet. Klaus, however, tended to try and incorporate Diego in activities which set the foundation for the relationship they’d develop as they got older. Diego doesn’t remember much of this time (due to a hc I have around Allison having to rumor them so they’d all forget Vanya’s powers)

𝟓-𝟏�� 

The next few years are probably the most ‘normal’ years in Diego’s life. With the addition of Grace to the family, Diego is finally able to work on moving past his stutter and finally showing off his persoanlity. Stubborn, opinionated and defiant. Something that doesn’t go over well with his father or most of his siblings. Save for Klaus. He seems to be most tolerant and amused by Diego and he appreciates that. Klaus seems to understand where Diego is coming from. Around the age of ten is the first time he considers Klaus his best friend. Of course , Diego knows the sentiment isn’t mutual. Diego is no one’s best friend. No matter how much he may want to be...he’s learned quickly and early that no one wants to be his. Still, he trusts Klaus in a way that he doesn’t trust the others. He knows that Klaus is someone he can rely on in a disagreement or training gone askew. Even if they’re on the same page for different reasons....Klaus is there and he can sway the others when needed. It’s....much appreciated. 

𝟏𝟒-𝟏𝟕

The teen years change so much in their lives but also seems to cement relationships. Five disappears first and it’s....a nightmare. No one knows how to handle it, their father doubles down on seemingly everything and there’s more than puberty on the horizon. As they get older, Diego’s relationship with Luther and Allison seems to constantly be on the verge of breaking. He finds himself relying more and more on Klaus and Ben and in some ways...they’ve formed their own half of a team. Klaus and Ben make Diego feel confident. Something their dad tries very hard to squash in their teens. 

For some reason, they seem to trust him with his ideas and plans and he’s thankful. They are his people. His responsibility. And maybe that’s not a role he’s supposed to assume but....the more Klaus spirals, the more he does until Ben is gone too and Klaus is the only one Diego has left. He’s failed Ben. He’s failed the others. He can’t fail Klaus. He also can’t stay at the academy much longer. But he doesn’t want to just leave his brother behind. Not after Klaus has saved his life. Not after seeing the path Klaus was on but...that time had to come. Ilt’s a regret that Diego carries, not asking Klaus to leave with him. Not dragging his brother out of the house right alongside him. But..who’s to say Klaus would have come? What would he want to do with Diego? Why would he want to go? 

Diego also becomes quite depressed during these years (for obvious and not so obvious reasons). He starts to wonder if he’s made up the relationships he has and, after losing Ben, comes to believe that Klaus can’t stand him/blames him for what happened. He doesn’t blame Klaus for thinking that. He feels as if he deserves that blame and begins to slightly pull away from Klaus thinking that’s what the other wants. (That’s also part of why he didn’t ask Klaus to leave with him)

𝟏𝟖-𝟐𝟗 

The next years are....hard. Diego spends the first year rather alone and he misses his brother more than he might ever admit. It takes time for Diego to get on his feet and start to make something out of his life but once he does, he knows he has to keep an eye out for his family. Specifically, Klaus. For Diego, his little brother is in trouble and he’s going to do what he can to look out for him. His home becomes an open door for Klaus (even if he gets annoyed at times). There’s a bit of an obsession with needing to save Klaus in some way. In needing to show his brother that things can be okay. It’s also during this time that his new friends start to point out that his relationships aren’t good. He can’t and he shouldn’t keep giving Klaus a pass. He can’t cave every time he calls. But they don’t understand. they don’t get it. Hell, he’s sure not even Klaus would get it but Diego owes him. Diego feels like he owes Klaus for all the comfort and friendship he gave Diego when the others wouldn’t. For every coloring sheet they finished together and every prank they managed to pull. If Diego can save that kid then....isn’t he obligated to do so? Klaus is the only person he knows might actually care about him and.....it’s selfish but he doesn’t want to lose that. Ever. 

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭

Now, there’s so much to figure out and learn. Their relationships have all been brought front and center with the need to reevaluate their family. He still feels incredibly responsible for Klaus but now...now he feels like the worst person to take that on. Why did he ever think he was capable of that job? Why did he ever think that he was the person who should? Klaus deserves better than a brother like him. They all do. 

tags @ghostconjured​ for reasons (also help me remember anything I might have forgotten to add) (personals do not reblog)