#i also just loved the way he talked . like his ( speaking ) voice wasn’t even unique there was just something about the way it sounded that

[hawkeyeslaughter]

LGNAOJSSN your caption is making me lose my mind because WHYYYY did they act like that … calvin had like ten minutes of screen time across three episodes and for nine minutes and forty five seconds he and trapper were literally in each other’s space and hawkeye was just third wheeling . genuinely what was the fucking reason . anyways am i lowkey more of a diehard calvin/trapper supporter than i am a trapper/hawkeye supporter ?? do i think trap actually managed to track him down after he went home because he actually managed to make a bit of a name for himself in the states …… do i think they became ‘ close friends ‘ ( wink ) again ……. i shan’t say ……….. a girl can think things ………….

ANYWAYS i say all this to say no you’re right that DEFINITELY happened , and frank DEFINITELY got him put on house arrest like he did to hawkeye in house arrest ,, and trapper came to visit and i’m sure we can all fill in the details . the ONLY point i would contest is that The Shirt is calvin’s shirt and he and trapper shared it the entire time calvin was there ( which is why trap wears it in episodes he’s not in ) and after calvin leaves he just lets trapper have it because trapper wears it after the last episode calvin appears in … so …. take that how you will

anyway i miss him . uhh … yeah . pretty boy . fucking whatever

MORE caps for you because i’m having a time i must not lie …. and i couldn’t let it lie without showing you also ……. my favorite throwaway character in the whole show i fear ….. calvin spalding cutie patootie that you are !!!!! i’ll miss you for the rest of my life

this one is my favorite LLFJAOSHS ,, the look he’s giving frank is absolutely wild like my man is fed UP

Literally going to scream at the last one bfhdbfdsk do you think he kicked Frank's ass once and that was what made Trapper so horny that he seduced him and gave him his shirt afterward? It is not out of the question, at least. He's such a fucking cutie though thank you for sharing these eeeee

[st4rgxd]

Stuck in the Past

percy x hypnos!reader

summary: Percy chose you. But why does it feel like he didn't?

tags: angst, percy being an idiot, some comfort

wc: 1.6k

note: at last, a fanfic I actually liked after I finished writing

Percy and Annabeth are Camp Half Blood’s power duo.

No one would mess with them because surely the other wasn’t too far off. Even when fully alone, Percy and Annabeth were strong enough on their own to stand their ground. 

You were there for their last battle with Gaea. A tragic moment honestly. You had arrived during battle and had been shoved into fight mode. By the end of it, you wanted to run out and hope it was all an illusion. But then he stood before you and handed you a water bottle with a smile. A very exhausted smile that told you he didn’t want this either.

It was a painful realization.

Knowing that you were doomed to a tragic end due to your parents.

But Percy gave you hope. He fought hard every day to make his own destiny and define his future.  

You didn’t realize when you got close to Percy. It sort of just happened. He bumped into you at his high school which was your new school. He often took you to camp to train given that Gaea’s battle was your only hands-on experience. 

“I’m telling you. It had to be like ten in the morning when I got here. Campers were screaming. Satyrs helping. It was so confusing.” You chuckle to yourself but Percy remains silent. You don't let the silence linger before speaking again.

“It wasn’t as bad as it seems. I guess I needed the reality check.” You shrug thinking back to that scary day. You still sometimes have nightmares about it.  You haven't told anybody that but that day scared you more than you liked to think.

“When I first got here, I was also very confused. Grover was my friend and then he was my guardian. Chiron was my teacher and then my mentor. My mom was alive and then... well... the same more or less.” He takes a deep breath before giving you a small smile. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s okay to be confused and scared. It’d be crazy for you not to be. We’re wired to be great soldiers when we’re meant for more. At least that’s how I view it.” Percy kept talking to you after that. It was hard to stop once it started. 

Annabeth wasn’t upset over it.

Although you understand there was a bond there, one you could never break. You didn’t think it would matter. Especially not when Percy makes it clear that you're the one he loves. 

Yet it was getting hard to remember that. 

Late nights at Annabeth’s cabin slowly became dinners and late-night study sessions at her apartment. You tried to remain rational since Percy didn’t have a disloyal bone in his body. But it was hard to ignore the smiles that appeared on his face when he answered her calls. 

Today was the last straw.

He had invited Annabeth to the study date you had been looking forward to. He already saw her 6 days a week, why couldn’t it just be the both of you? 

You try to move past it but insecurities piled at the sight of him laughing and joking around with her as if you weren’t there.

Eventually, you had enough. 

“Excuse me. I need some air.” You get up abruptly. You practically run towards the library’s exit. It didn’t take long before he followed you out the door, Annabeth not far behind. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, concerned. Annabeth lingers behind.

“Yes. I’m fine.” You snap. Confusion fills his eyes at the tone of your voice. Were you upset with him? 

“Are you sure?” He asks but before you can answer a loud crash is heard behind you. 

“Percy behind you!” Annabeth shouts and on instinct, Percy moves.

Seeing them in action always leaves you in awe. It was amazing to see two people so uniquely in sync. Now, however, all you feel is sour hate. 

You join Percy’s side trying to be what he needs.

Instead, all you seem to do is get in the way. 

“I got it!” You run to knock out the beast while Percy shouts no. 

You get there and direct your focus towards the beast only for Annabeth to get caught in the crossfire, knocking her out. She fell to the floor, directly in front of the beast charging at you.

Despite the countless more quests you’ve gone on, all you could feel at that moment was the fear you felt the first day you arrived at camp. The beast lunges at you and claws into your arm before being shoved away. 

Percy isn’t sure how he was able to do it but he blasted the beast away, the water pushing you to the ground as well. He quickly ran toward Annabeth, where she was beginning to wake from your sleeping spell. 

“Are you okay?” He asked her and she slowly nodded. Her eyes looked up at yours causing Percy to redirect his anger. He gets up from her side and marches towards you. 

“What the hell were you thinking?! You could’ve gotten her killed!” He shouts and you bite back your words.

He was right.

You almost got her killed.

And you feel like complete shit.

The cherry on top just happens to be your boyfriend making you feel worse about you potentially hurting his ex. 

“I’m sorry.” Is all you manage to say while staring at the ground and then walking away. 

Percy had returned his attention to Annabeth who couldn’t forget your teary expression. She really didn’t hate you. She didn’t have any hard feelings toward you. So it didn’t sit well with her that Percy wasn’t treating you correctly. 

“What's wrong with you seaweed brain?” She asks him and he looks up in confusion. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Y/N? You practically kicked a sad puppy.” Percy crosses his arm, already getting defensive. 

“She could’ve gotten you badly injured. She kept intervening.” 

“She was helping.”

“She didn’t move after knocking you out! That thing would’ve run straight over you if I didn’t stop it.” 

“Is there only kelp in that head?” She snaps rudely, “I’d hate to say I know your girlfriend better but she isn’t immune to PTSD. I doubt she purposely stood there waiting for the monster to run me over. I shouldn’t even be here today. We’ve studied enough for your SATs and finals, you’ll be fine seaweed brain, go to your girlfriend.” Annabeth’s words blew away the fog in Percy’s brain. You froze. As in flight or fight, you froze. 

You froze and instead of comforting you, he yelled and pushed you away. Regret settled in his stomach at the realization of his intense fuck up. 

“Are you going to apologize or sit here the entire day?” Annabeth stands up and extends her hand out to encourage him. He takes off running. 

Your teary vision didn’t make the journey back home better. Tears would randomly leave your eyes despite your best efforts to push them away. You didn’t walk the entire way home. You were too drained to take the train, deciding to just hop in a cab. 

Once you got home, you cried. You weren’t able to focus on one reason. Just that you felt awful and have been for a while. You wrapped your arms tightly around yourself as your sobs settled down and your eyes began to close. 

That’s how Percy is seeing you now. Your arms are still around you, dried tears on your cheeks, your hair plastered by sweat, and a deep cut on your arm. 

He feels like a failure of a boyfriend. He places his keys on the tray by the door, waking you up. You quickly sit up thinking it’s an intruder.

“Hey, hey. Relax. It’s me.” Percy weakly puts up his hands and you tense up. He notices. 

“How’s Annabeth?” You ask, genuinely concerned. Even though you were there, your mind convinced you that she somehow could still be in danger because of you. 

“She’s okay. Probably just a slight concussion.” Your shoulders finally relax and he takes the time to look at your arm again. He looks away as the guilt eats at him.

“I overreacted.” He admits but you shake your head. 

“No, you were right. I should’ve not gotten in the way. I know you guys are stronger, I just thought I could… I don’t know, I'm sorry. I’ll do better next time.” Your eyes prickle with tears and Percy is instantly in front of you. 

“Why did you freeze?” He asks you and the tears begin to fall. You hate feeling vulnerable. 

“Was it the monster? That ugly-looking thing?” He asks trying to make you laugh but you can’t. 

“It was like I was back there. Everything was okay and then things happened too quickly. It was too much.” You weren’t sure if he understood but he did. His therapist has helped him through enough flashbacks to know that’s what you had experienced. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” He pulls you into a hug and you let him hold you. You always felt the safest when he was holding you close with his head above your shoulder, looking out for potential threats. 

His phone rings and he pulls away from you. You didn’t have to see the screen to know who it was. Who else would it be? You could feel the disappointment building up as his finger hovers over the screen.

He pressed the decline button before placing his phone on the table. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” He asks and you nod, happy to spend some alone time with your boyfriend. 

— extra

Annabeth stood by the table spamming Percy’s phone with messages. 

You forgot your phone.

And your backpack.

And your wallet. 

Why do you have your social security in your wallet? 

I’m treating myself to lunch ;)

[yuesya]

in cursed twin AU, how does Satoru react towards Yuta, since he has a cursed spirit of his own? albeit Shiki is a bit of a different situation and is well-behaved compared to Rika, and has more clarity than Rika

it could also be argued that - putting aside that no one except Suguru has lived to tell the secret - Satoru is comparatively more fucked up than Yuta in this regard because he’s willingly housing Shiki for an unforeseen future inside his body, and that’s considered messed up in the head, kind of? because imagine you have the option of putting Shiki to rest somehow, letting her die in peace, but no — for one, Shiki is well behaved and there’s no problems so far in their situation, so there’s no reason for Satoru to just up and do that. shiki isn’t suffering, isn’t too insane, and by possessing him she can eat and see and experience things for her own (even though shes a bloodthirsty little thing)

so gg Satoru be the first one to delete people who denies his sister this second chance (and he already did lmao)

for two, why should Shiki be the one to die? when it was the fault of fucking Gojo Clan and their father that she ended up like this? it’s not fair, his sister died because of some fucktards deciding she wasn’t worth anything and she has to be the one to pay the price, to give up in this lifetime, to die in order her to be in peace? Shiki deserves to live and have a chance to look at and experience this world, and Satoru is making sure of it even if it has to be through using him

In a way, Gojo Satoru really does love Shiki, and I want to see how a Satoru who has someone he loves to the point of, well, housing them inside his body for almost all his life like in Cursed Twins AU, reacts to seeing Yuta and Rika.

Footsteps sound clearly upon the cold stone ground, growing closer and closer, but Yuta can't find the strength to raise his head. Instead, he curls inwards, shrinking into himself where he's sitting on the uncomfortable wooden chair in his prison.

And, there's no doubt that this is a prison; ofuda seals cover the entirety of the enclosed chamber, and the only source of light is from the flicker of yellow lanterns scattered across the ground, arranged in a strange pattern. Yuta does not recognize any of it, as strange and scary as everything is, but instinct tells him that this is a trap, a cage.

... Good. He deserves it. He deserves to be locked up like this forever, because he-

"All of this is a bit overkill for just a kid, isn't it?"

"This was the best I could argue for, while you were still out of the country. It was either this, or immediate execution." Oh. Oh, Yuta recognizes this voice. "Hello, Okkotsu-kun. Have you been well?"

It's only polite to look at the person who's speaking to you. Yuta doggedly manages to summon up the strength to raise his head.

"... Hello, Geto-san," he whispers. The man who'd subdued Rika-chan and brought him in without any further bloodshed offers him a reassuring smile, then gestures towards his companion.

"Okkotsu-kun, this is my friend, Gojo Satoru. He's the one I mentioned before, who I think might be able to offer a unique insight into your situation. Satoru, this is-"

The white-haired man makes a clearly disgusted sound. Yuta automatically flinches, because there's no doubt that it's directed towards him.

"A master-servant bond, really?" he says, obviously disapproving. Yuta has no idea what the man is talking about.

"Okkotsu-kun is not a sorcerer," Geto-san says sharply. "He's lived a civilian life all this time, Satoru. Remember what I told you? He and Orimoto-chan are childhood sweethearts who accidentally cursed each other; neither had any idea of what they were doing-"

"No, the boy's the one who did all the cursing here, Suguru." There's a strange flicker in the white-haired man's striking blue eyes, crystalline blue shifting to abyssal darkness and back again. But it must be a trick of the light. Human eyes don't work that way. "But for something that was unintentional... hmm..."

Geto-san sighs tiredly. "Your recommendation, then?"

"... You're asking for my opinion? I think... ultimately, it depends on what the two of them want out of their relationship," Gojo-san shrugs. "Although that might be a little difficult to hammer out on the girl's side, given her current state."

Geto-san frowns lightly, a hand coming up to rest on his chin in thought. "Is there a way to make her lucid again?"

"Well, it's not like there's a documented process for this or anything, but with the circumstances being what they are, I think we might have a few ideas," Gojo-san gives him a sharp grin. Then, he turns towards Yuta. "Hey, so. If it turns out that there's no helping your Rika-chan anyways and we can't actually improve her state any, then what are you going to do?"

"What am I...?" Yuta blinks, confused. It's precisely because he doesn't know what to do, because he doesn't want Rika-chan to hurt anyone anymore, that he's sitting here in this prison cell unresistingly. That he's accepted the fact that he's going to be executed, because otherwise... otherwise...

The white-haired man shoots him a distinctly unimpressed look. "It's not that complicated a question, kid."

"I..." Yuta swallows roughly. "I don't... I don't want Rika-chan to hurt anyone."

"Cute, but that's not what I asked," Gojo-san says. "Are you just going to try and kill yourself again?"

"Satoru, that's not-!"

"Let him answer the question, Suguru."

The scary man's eyes flick downwards briefly towards where a deformed hand-knife is hidden behind Yuta's chair. A knife that Rika-chan had destroyed when Yuta had attempted to... wait, how does he even know that?

But the question he'd asked... Yuta doesn't...

...

Yuta doesn't want to hurt anyone. And, he doesn't want Rika-chan to hurt anyone, either. The guilt of living like this, causing nothing but death and destruction wherever he goes, accomplishing nothing but bringing pain to other people's lives... that's not okay, and it makes bile rise in the back of his throat just thinking about it.

"You're the one who cursed her, even if it was accidental," Gojo-san tells him mercilessly. "So what is it that you want to do?"

Let's get married when we're older, Yuta.

We'll be together forever and ever!

That's a promise.

...

"I... I want to help Rika-chan."

"And if you can't?"

Yuta's hands clench into fists. "You said... you said that you might have a way. And, if it's my fault that Rika-chan is like this, then I... I have to do something about it."

"Because it's your responsibility?"

"Because I care about Rika-chan!"

The heavy imposing pressure in the air suddenly lifts; Yuta falls forward, gasping. He hadn't even noticed it creeping up on him-

Geto-san clicks his tongue. "You went a little overboard here, Satoru."

"Yeah, we'll take him on," the white-haired man ignores the comment and grins. "Help me draw up the papers? I know that Maki and the others will be just thrilled to have a new student joining them."

"... Draw them up yourself, I'm not your secretary."

"Aww, don't be like that, Suguru-"

[srslyscary]

heyyy, do u do x black reader if so could you do a fluffy lee know fic. where him and reader are just apart of a silly friend group with lots of mutuals and lee knows always kinda just had a lil thing for reader.

but then reader is kinda just noticing lee know is there and then just boom. fell in love immediately idk…

lowkey like mutuals to lovers if that makes any sense?…

a lover’s eye

| Contents: SFW , reader is written as she/her but can be considered gn, friends to lovers, made up friend names, black!reader, lee know is referred to as his biological name

tysm for the request anon!! I love this idea so so much. I’m not all that sure if you wanted me to add reader & Lee Know in a SKZ friend group or a random one so I just stuck with the random one! i hope this is okay! I had the idea of them both having feelings for each other but not realizing it till “now”.

I also hope you’re well and taking care of yourself! much love <3

“minho, dude… you’ve been staring at her for the past 10 minutes.” a voice spoke, pulling the male out of his small trance.

“…huh? staring at who?” He said, looking over to his friend. “YN— who else? you’ve been giving her googly eyes ever since she first arrived-“

Minho shushed him loudly with a glare on his face, looking as if he would smack the other male. “Ya- Injae! How many times do I have to tell you to keep it down? Loud mouth.” He sighed, looking back over to the female he was previously eyeing. “I wasn’t staring. I was just— admiring her!”

“Yeah— Kay. Dude If you have a thing for her It’s no biggie, I mean the whole friend group can kind of tell. Besides YN of course— I wouldn’t say she’s oblivious but.. it’s also obvious she doesn’t have a clue.” Injae stood up from where he was sitting, looking for the other members of the group. YN was currently talking to Jia, one of the girls of their friend group.

Their little group consisted of the silliest kids around the block. Jia, Injae, YN, Eunji, Rae, and of course Minho. They were all very close with one another, sharing memorable experiences with each other. YN was rather unique, some would say. Although all were Korean, YN was the only black female who could speak fluent Korean. To Minho… that’s what made her so special. Just her presence made his body and chest feel weird.

“Ya, Injae. Do you think the weird feeling I get when I look at YN.. relates to me having a ‘thing’ for her?” Minho tilts his head slightly, looking at the girl’s features as he waited for his other friend to talk. “Well yeah, I mean it’s just normal to feel that way when you’re crushing on someone.”

“You idiot. i know It’s normal. I just— i wanted to make sure. That’s all.” He looked down at his lap from where he was sitting, fidgeting with the rings on his fingers. Injae looked down at his friend, and chuckled. He looked back to YN, and all the friends that were surrounding them. They were all gathered around waiting for the Rae to arrive since they planned to have an ‘out day’ today.

“Just tell her how you feel man. I’m sure she’ll—“ “Don’t even finish that. It’s not that simple.” Minho leaned his head back , running his fingers through his hair. “And why not? It’s not like you guys aren’t friends. You talk to her everyday, and you’re both in the same friend group.” Injae sighed irritably, checking his phone. “Goddamnit.. where the hell is Rae? He was supposed to be here an hour ago..”

Minho took this time to think, to really think about what decisions he should make. YN was beautiful, stunning even. She had the face and voice of a goddess, she was funny, and never failed to make him smile at least a tiny bit.. even if the jokes weren’t directly to him. It wasn’t like YN hadn’t noticed him, part of what Injae said was true— he talked to her everyday, trying to spark up some conversations.

“Yo, Minho.” A finger tapped him, yet again bringing him out of his own little world. Looking up, he saw that exact goddess. She eyed him down with a blank look, her shadow against the sun made her look like a real angel. “Whatcha still doin’ sittin’ down? Rae jus’ got here. Cmon.” YN chuckled, smiling at the male with the softest eyes. Oh how he loved those eyes..

“Sorry. Got lost in thought.” He said, getting up from his place of rest. YN waved her hand as if dismissing him, looking at him one last time before walking ahead. Minho caught up to the girl, as the rest of the friend group walked together. “Soo..”

“Got sum to say say?” She said, taking her phone out to look at herself. “No, it’s fine.” “Aight.” Minho watched her trinket with the small features on her face adjusting whatever she needed. God, she was so beautiful. Her brown skin that shone in the sun, her perfect curves, her pretty face, she was simply so divine to him. “Minho, you’re staring.” YN was finished checking herself out, looking at him again as she noticed his looks a while ago. “What?— I wasn’t staring, there was just something on your shoulder.“

“Yeah right. You’re dog shit at lying. I caught yo ass in the act. Y’know you can’t hide shit from me, Min.” She shook her head, looking forward. In truth, she herself wanted him to keep looking. Everytime she looked at him, she felt a little spark go off somewhere in her. She enjoyed his presence as much as he did her, even if both didn’t know of it.

Soon the friend group arrived to their little destination, a small carnival next to a bridge. Water laid low under the bridge, the sun setting only slightly. “Hell yeah! The carnival! Let’s go!” Rae yelled as he ran ahead inside. “Rae wait for us!” Eunji yelled right after as she dragged Jia along. Injae laughed as he turned to Minho and YN. “You two coming?”

YN turned to the bridge with a blank face, “Nah. I think imma go over there. Take a look at the view.” She pointed back to the bridge, with a small smile and a hand on one hip. “Sure— Minho?” Injae turned his head slightly to the male, who looked quite conflicted. “I uh— I think I’ll stay with YN.”

Injae looked surprised but chuckled, shaking his head. “Alright cool. I’ll save some snacks for ya!” He waved, running ahead to catch up with the others. YN waved, turning back to the bridge with a smile. Minho turned with her, but kept his eyes on the girl. The sunset made her look as if she was in a movie, the wind blowing against her hair.

“Yo, Minho— cmon. I wanna go see the view.” She grabbed his hand, walking ahead with quick speed. Minho simply let her, realizing they were basically holding hands. His heart quickened— he was actually holding her hand? He was almost ecstatic, even if his face said otherwise. YN continued to pull his hand until they reached the bars of the bridge, keeping their hands held together and looking down to see the water.

“Ain’t it pretty Min?” He only looked at her, not giving her an answer as his hand tightened with hers. “Mmh— what was the question?” He looked out into the view, watching the sun set. “The view, dumbass. You’re supposed to agree that the view is fye.” She said shaking her head. “Fye?”

YN looked at him, laughing. Her pretty lip gloss on her plump lips, her skin that was nearly sunkissed, her smile— he noticed it all. The girl stopped laughing, looking at him with a soft smile. Her heartbeat quickened at that moment, swallowing with the little shallow breaths she let out. “Min—“

“I love you.” He interrupted quickly, eyes widening as he realized what he just said. “Wait wait I- i didn’t mean to say that—“ he quickly said, letting go of her hand to back up slightly. He looked down at his shoes, frowning as he looked flabbergasted. And so did she, shocked that those 3 words even came out of his mouth. Minho didn’t even know why he said that, it was just the spur of the moment and he felt like he should say something, but not THAT. She shook her head again, looking at his head.

“Funny.” She grabbed his hand again, intertwining them. “That’s real funny coming from yo ass. Never thought you wouldeva say that to me.” She said smiling at him, as she waited for him to look up. Minho looked up, his eyes met with YN’s. And there that feeling was again, his heart was racing— the world seemed to slow down for that slight moment.

“Love you too Minho.” She tilted her head, her hair blowing in the wind once again. “wait really?” She nodded, smiling even brighter. “Thought it was obvious? I liked you for a while. You’re just my type I guess. You’re fine as hell, and I’m always smiling with you. I thought maybe you didn’t like me like that, ‘s why i’m kinda iffy on having conversations with you.” Minho held her hand tight, looking at the view. “So.. you’re saying you wanna.. be together?”

“If YOU wanna. I’m aight with whateva—“ “I want to.” She looked at his side profile, watching him gaze out at the last rays of the sunlight. She chuckled, or really giggled. “Now i can officially call you my man.”

“…hm. I guess I can call you my girl now.”

[dreamingofyeo]

Jar of similes ☆彡

Yeosang x gn reader fluff

1570 words ~ unedited ~ inspired by Black Friday by Tom Odell

~ comment or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent taglist

~☆彡 ~ Tumblr's algorithm works from reblogs so if you like my work please consider It :)

You walked down the path towards the fried chicken place, you’d been working on your art project all day and hadn’t realised how late it had gotten until your stomach had rudely reminded you. Your surroundings were, to a non artistic eye, rather normal and even dull in comparison to the rest of Seoul. You found it beautiful though. The cherry blossom petals on the ground, the odd feather here and there. The sounds of the city at night and the sight of its lights reflecting off of the puddles on the ground. Taking note of all the colour around you, you pull out one of the little jars you keep in your tote bag for exactly this occasion. You crouch down on the edge of the path, scooping a few of the petals into the jar to recreate the exact colour layer on for your project. You stand up and place the jar into your bag before carrying on down the path, you hadn’t even realised your phone had slipped out of your pocket when you’d been crouched down, too engrossed in your whirlwind of thoughts and ideas for the colour.

You wouldn’t have noticed at all if it were not for the sound of boots jogging to catch up with you before a tap on your shoulder. You turn around confused. That confusion is quickly replaced by intrigue and awe as you take in the young man before you. He is ethereal you can tell that much even with the mask and bucket hat and also familiar. Features sculpted onto his face perfectly yet in an utterly unique way. Like a painting. He has a birthmark blossoming from his left eye in the most delicate way, you’d like to paint him. You wonder to yourself if he’d be interested in modelling for you to do so. He could certainly do it professionallyi with his looks anyway. An idol even perhaps.

His voice snaps you out of your trance, it’s deep and mellifluous, though a little nervous and awkward all the same.

“Excuse me miss, you dropped your phone.”

You know that voice. As he holds out your phone with both hands, the pieces click into place but you decide against saying anything about it, not wanting to make him uncomfortable or risk it just being a huge coincidence that he looks and sounds just like Kang Yeosang of Ateez. So instead you steel your nerves and reply.

“Ah I’m sorry, thank you so much” you say politely, bowing to accept your phone back.

You smile awkwardly and turn to walk, but not before asking if he was also going to the chicken place, considering there wasn’t much else down this path. Inwardly considering that he is Yeosang after all so the likelihood is high.

He nods happily telling you he’s been craving it.

You look down and smile to yourself, now walking next to him.

“What’s your name?”

This catches you completely off guard, you forget your name for a moment but get it out regardless, asking him for his in return. You knew it but it was an open opportunity to confirm it.

“Kang Yeosang, it’s nice to meet you.” He says, you don’t miss the beat of hesitation before the reveal though.

You smile and return the sentiment before speaking in as calm a tone as you can manage.

“I thought I recognised you, I wasn’t sure and didn’t want to be wrong or make you uncomfortable, or both.” You say, laughing slightly at the end.

His head snaps to you at this, confusion and surprise written in his eyes.

“You know Ateez?”

“Yeah of course, you guys are so talented I love your music.” You confirm, smiling at him.

His eyebrows shoot upwards even more if it were even possible.

“You’re atiny? Who’s your bias?”

You laugh, “not telling, you can guess when we’ve picked up the chicken.”

Even through his mask, you can see the pouty smile forming on his face. You almost crack. Almost.

You talk and laugh for a while with Yeosang on the way to get your food. He’s certainly surprised, not used to having such tame interactions with fans outside of the occasional wholesome fancall and fansign experience. He’s being treated like a person, not like a doll to be criticised and controlled like some people who call themselves fans seem to unknowingly consider him to be. It’s nice. You’re nice, he could see himself being friends with you surprisingly easily. He’s also not blind, you’re very pretty, but he won’t let himself go down that road. He speaks up again after a bit of comfortable silence.

“How long have you been in Seoul for?”

“Not long, a few months.”

“Have you managed to make friends yet, or anything more?”

“A few friends here and there, I don’t think I’m built for dating here though so it’ll likely just stay like that.” You chuckle lightly.

“Why’s that? You’re very nice and I’d be lying if I said you didn’t have the looks for it.”

You feel yourself flush, looking up at him in shock, did he just compliment you?

“Was that a compliment?”

He laughs, that beautiful and adorable yet shy laugh of his.

“What else would it be?”

You shrug and laugh it off.

“True, well thank you, I feel honoured considering it’s coming from you.”

“What do you mean?” He asks.

Is he messing with you? Surely?

“It’s hard to explain. You’re one of the prettiest people I’ve ever seen to be honest, so it’s just a high compliment coming from you.”

Now it’s his turn to flush, he laughs under his breath thanking you quietly.

“You don’t believe me?” You ask, teasing him now.

Now it may make you cringe in the morning but you couldn’t resist. You pull out another little jar. He looks at you quizzically.

“I collect things to mimic the colour of for my art projects.” You explain quickly before getting to work.

He watches you in confusion, as you flit around the path and nature around you, picking up seemingly random pieces and collecting them in the jar. You bring it back to him, taking his hand and placing the jar in it.

He analyses the contents with just as much confusion as before. A feather, a petal, a dandelion whisp and a leaf skeleton.

He raises an eyebrow at you.

“I’d put a snowflake in there if I could, but if it helps you understand, you’re pretty like all the delicate parts of nature.” You smile, already cringing inside for tomorrow morning slightly.

His eyes soften though, and he smiles and thanks you, pocketing the jar before continuing to walk to the chicken place with you.

As if to make the city lights more pretty than before, it begins to rain. Yeosang groans slightly, having forgotten an umbrella. You laugh and turn to him.

“You don’t like the rain?”

“Not when I don’t have an umbrella.”

“There’s not much point to them, you get wet anyway, might aswell just accept and enjoy it.”

“Enjoy it?” He asks incredulously.

“Yeah! You can feel completely free in the rain. It’s something people usually avoid, a little bit like emotion if you think about it, if you enjoy it then it feels freeing in the same way as feeling your emotions, not caring about anything, not about the people watching you or getting wet and cold, it’s just nice.” You say, you cringe at yourself slightly but you decide to take your own advice and just accept it this time.

He smiles, “I guess you’re right.”

“I usually am.” You laugh.

“Somehow I don’t doubt that.” He says seriously.

“I was only joking but thank you.” You laugh again. An idea strikes you.

“Come on I’ll show you.”

He’s yet again confused, “show me what.”

“How to enjoy it. Dance with me, no steps nobody to perform for just enjoy it.”

He laughs now, shaking his head at you.

“Come onnnn, let me be right again you won’t regret it.” You plead with him, tilting your head almost teasingly.

He shakes his head again, this time in defeat. You smile widely and take a hold of his wrists pulling him into the centre of the empty path. The rain is hammering down around you both now as you dance with him, no steps, no strings, just two souls exploring the joy of being alive. He’s laughing with you now, jumping in a circle with you, arms swinging up and down to no rhythm but your own whims. You let go of one of his wrists and motion for him to twirl, the water under his boots sprays out and splashes you increasing the laughter sounding from you both. He returns the favour and keeps twirling you around until you dizzily stumble to a halt in front of him, holding onto his jacket to keep stable. He wipes the soaked strands of hair from your face and you look up at him, he looks so happy. He smiles down at you.

“You were right.”

“I told you so.”

You finally reach the chicken store, and walk back along the path, cracking jokes and laughing the whole way. You reach the intersection where you turn left and he turns right, he turns to you and speaks softly before leaving.

“You’re pretty like the rain.”

Taglist: @voicesinmyhead-rc @decadentstrangernacho

[stevenbasic]

GITJ Post 319: Lunch with Abby

“So one of my girls, Lakshmi, tells me he’s all upset that I didn’t let him help me move,” said Melissa Monroe, Office Manager at what would soon no longer be a specialty geriatric medical practice on the city’s outskirts. She sounded a little frustrated. “You know I couldn’t, right? For, like, obvious reasons?”

“Yeah,” laughed Abby, her friend of several years and the sales rep/handler assigned to this project which - to an increasing number of people - was maybe becoming a little far-reaching, “Are they still mad about that? Your, uh…” Though increasingly bold these days, Abby still had to be a little concerned about prying ears. “…landlords?”

“Yeah sorta. My mom is too,” answered Melissa, spearing an artichoke heart from her plate of salad, “But she’s away for a while. I’ll deal with her when she gets back.” The two women were sharing lunch at a local restaurant that Thursday afternoon, and Melissa was glad she had Abby to talk to. Things had been a little funny with him these past couple of days, and it’d be nice to have a fresh perspective. Abby was a few years older, in her early thirties though she still looked so pretty, and Melissa had come to value her wisdom. Abby just seemed to…get her. Plus - she dressed so nice, so professional! Melissa always tooked to her as an example of how even a girl with a figure can dress for the corporate world. Abby was great. 

Knowing this about her ���friend’, how Melissa respected her, made it a bit harder for Abby to say what she’d needed to say, and sometimes do what she needed to do. Melissa was a sweet girl, but she’d developed a little bit of a rebellious streak, and not everyone was happy with the way things were starting to proceed. Abby had, through this whole assignment, been tasked with keeping the course straight, the waters calm. “I also don’t know if it was a good idea,” she offered, choosing her words carefully, “You had everything you needed at your old place.”

“Yeah, I guess, I know. They’ve been so nice,” Melissa agreed, allowing that fact to her friend and doing her best to sound grateful, “I just wanted to be somewhere, even just for this little while, where I felt like I wasn’t being watched all the time.”

“I get that,” Abby conceded, forking a morsel of tortellini from her own plate. She understood it must be hard to be a girl in Melissa’s unique situation. But she also knew how they needed to keeps tabs on her, and him. “And it’ll be, what, a month or so before your mom gets back?”

“So I hear,” Melissa replied, “and by then the new places should be ready for us, if, like, all the construction keeps on schedule.” She bit her lower lip, took a moment as a waitress came by to refill her water glass. “But in the meantime it’s just that, well, when I want to be alone with him, I wanna be alone with him.”

After the waitress had left, Abby Solowicki smiled at her charge, knowing she needed to appear warm and supportive, “You really love him don’t you?” she asked. Of course she’d seen the reports, the EEGs, the bloodwork. There were quantifiers attributable to all this, and Melissa’s readings was off the charts.

“Omigod you have no idea,” gushed Melissa, immediately, a throb of wetness causing her to clamp her thighs tight, “I can’t…I can’t even describe it.”

This is what they hadn’t planned for, Abby surmised, watching the wave of emotions light Melissa’s face. She’s getting so caught up in this, much more than they thought she would. “I’m so happy for you guys,” she offered, smiling genially but knowing the answer to her next question before she asked it, “And he’s told you he feels the same way?”

Ugh, no. But the idea of it, imagining his quivering face looking up at her and professing his love made Melissa squirm again. “No…he hasn’t,” she breathed in exasperation, but able to actually hear his stammering little voice speaking those words: ILY. She wanted that so bad!! But…but…she understood, what he’s been going through.  “I’ve had guys tell me a lot of things,” she said to Abby, in explanation, “and I want him to…like…mean it, when he finally says it.”

Abby nodded.

Despite logic, despite the fact that it all made sense, him taking it slow, Melissa Monroe felt her blood start to simmer. She’d told him she loved him…why didn’t he feel the same?! Was there something wrong with her?!? Her friends were supportive, telling her that she was imagining it, his reticence and distance, but she’d definitely felt it this week. Had she gone a bit too far? Over the weekend, on Tuesday night? Been too much for him? Too aggressive? She knew he was fragile…

To Abby, to her friend, Melissa described her nights with him. How she’d manipulated him with her body, and with what she knew to be his weaknesses. She described her shows of physical strength. And then: “I was there, in his bed with him yesterday morning, and I just, y’know, with my perfumes. I pretended I was asleep but I  made him do…whatever I wanted. It just feels so good to play with him! But now maybe I feel a bit bad.”

“It’s okay. You’re just experimenting with your power,” Abby reassured her, knowing the course she had to take, “You’re growing, you’re growing stronger every day. It’s all so you can be better for him.”

Melissa nodded, taking a sip of her water and feeling acutely the weight of her chest, the musculature in her arms, back, shoulders. She could sense the ever-filling ocean of ultra-potent pheromones just barely held back by the floodgates under her skin, along with the hint of other budding abilities. She was becoming more powerful every day, and she knew it was true, she could feel it was true…it was all for him. The thought brought her a new wave of wetness, and she nearly sighed.

“Listen, Tits,” Abby began again, using the playful nickname she’d adopted for Melissa, “Men are all nervous, they have been for a while, but especially now after the election. They’ve been in denial but lots of them have seen it coming.” Abby, herself, had to control her voice and the excitement in it. “Imagine how he must feel, now. All that he’s lost, how he’s…like you said…getting smaller. He’s been surrounded by women all his life, and you’re surrounding him with even more, women who are bigger and stronger and smarter. Like all of them he’s worried about losing his rights, his independence. Don’t you think he’s nervous? That he’s scared? Maybe he sees his life slipping away and doesn’t know what the future is going to be.”

Oh godddddd, Melissa groaned, privately. Why was this so thrilling to her??

“So this is my advice,” Abby spoke, smiling seeing the effect she was having, “show him that you can be a comfort, that you can be protection for him now that things are changing. Did you watch the camera feed from his apartment last night, with him and that girl…what’s her name? Lilly?”

“Lakshmi,” Melissa answered, in correction, “No. I figured it was, like, a private moment for them.”

“Well I read the transcript, quick,” Abby explained, “He’s looking for it - comfort and protection. You’ve seen some of the notes on him, right? The history? He really wants a mother figure. And, jesus, Melissa…look at you.”

To that, Melissa blushed. It’s not that it was a surprise, the more…maternal aspects of her appearance being pointed out. She’d been called “mommy” by online admirers more times than she could count.

“I’d say soften up on him, calm his anxieties like only a woman can. It will get you what you want. If he’s scared, afraid that things are changing? Use that. He likes your boobs as much as you say? Great. You guys are supposed to be going out this weekend? Don't go out, stay in. Give him a night with your breasts.”

Melissa snorted. But then pictured it, how she could steer the evening, what she could wear. Omigod I could make him melt. “Like, a date with my boobs?”

“Haha sure a boob date,” Abby laughed, “that’s, like, every man’s dream, these days. He’s been nervous about you being strong with him, when you get excited? Show him how gentle you can be. You already take care of him in so many ways. Show him just how much of a mother figure you already are, and what things could be like.”

Melissa giggled, again, with the thought of it. She pictured herself in an apron, pumps and a beehive, pulling a tray of cookies from the oven. He was sat at the table like a little boy, a glass of milk - strike that, a bottle of milk - on his…haha omigod…high chair. 

“You know what I’m talking about, right?” Abby asked.

“Sure, yes, right,” Melissa answered, biting her lower lip in the arousal she was already feeling. Was it getting hot in here haha? “Lakshmi says he’s feeling a little ignored. I didn’t want that. I had just wanted to give him some space, let him process things, not freak him out by being too…me,” she continued, “but maybe…”

“I think what he wants is for you to be the most ‘you’ you can be,” Abby pressed, seeing how she could salvage this situation, “He doesn’t want to be ignored? You have a lot of love for him? Smother him with it. Drown him in comfort. Show him he’ll never be ignored again.”

“Oh wow, Abby,” Melissa breathed, fanning herself with her napkin, “I could drown him so good…”

“Yes you could,” Abby encouraged.

”And he likes me big, he wants me bigger, I can tell,” Melissa added, “And now…I want to do it for him. Grow. Grow more.”

“You know what they’re saying in the labs, right? About you?” Abby spoke, leaning in and dropping her voice, “You have the potential to grow much, much bigger.” This was starting to work out really, really well.

“Yes oh god yes Abby,” Melissa replied, caught up in the plans, “He’s nervous, about the changes? I can show him that he needs protection. I can show him how nice it could be for him with women in charge.”

“You’re so sweet and caring…”

“I can be sweet and caring. I can be kind, gentle, considerate…”

“Yes,” Abby continued, “You’ve already proven you’re big. You’ve proven you can physically dominate him so easily. But looking after him, protecting him, caring for him? That’s what he needs right now. That's something you must constantly show.”

Melissa forked forcefully into an olive, a slice of pepper, and thought back to gentle moments with him, how hard and quivery she’d made him. “He likes it when I´m kind…very much…” She then thought to herself, as she imagined his face: You like it kind? Then I´ll give you kind. She chuckled to herself, finding how aggressive she’d become with her salad. “I want to be a comfort to him, I do,” she said, “but I think he kinda likes it both ways.”

“Sure sure,” Abby encouraged, “men can be funny like that. We’ve all got to realize that the old stereotypes are breaking down, roles are reversing. Men now like us to show them the rough, take-charge lovemaking. They want to be dominated, they want us to toss them around like rag dolls. Men are at the gym less, women more. Secretly they want to be, like, brutalized, made to feel small and weak and terrified of us. But then, they’re needy and - you’re right - then they want us as Mommy to comfort them.”

“Oh godddd Abby,” Melissa laughed, “stop you’re going to make me burst. I just want to boink him.”

“Haha nothing wrong with that,” Abby replied with a glimmer in her eyes, “When you’re in a relationship it’s just important to understand the other persons feelings. He’s like all men these days. What he really wants and needs is a mommy girlfriend.”

She knew this. 

“He needs the comfort, the protection. But also the guidance, the discipline. He needs someone to tell him what to do, reward him when he does what you want, and sometimes punish him when he disappoints you.” 

Abby watched her friend nodding, absorbing her advice, and continued. “I do it with the guy I’m dating, ” Abby said to Melissa, “Like, when we’re alone, just at home, I make sure to praise the little things he does, cleaning up after himself, wearing an outfit I like. It makes him feel good and it helps, it helps solidify our roles.”

“Jay does like that sort of thing too…” Melissa offered, nodding. 

“And I make sure he feels dependent on me, too,” Abby continued, deciding to allow herself another slice of the bread on the table, “Like, I make more money then him, and I want him to know it. When we go out in public, for example. Usually, I’ll either pay for whatever we plan on spending money on that day or make him pay for his stuff with my money if we are buying little things for him.”

“ooo yes I can do that!” Melissa giggled, remembering how good it felt to pay for his dinner. 

“For instance, a shirt that we just bought for him. We were at Hera’s. He carried it all around the store and all the way up to the register. I let him do that all by himself,” Abby began, “When we went to check out, I opened my purse and handed him my card, the cashier standing right in front of us, people watching. That part’s really

important, that he knows others are seeing it happen.”

“Was he embarrassed?” Melissa asked, feeling like she should be taking notes. 

“A little. But I talked him through it, how to slide the card into the machine. And I signed for it of course, telling him he’d done a good job. He liked that.”

Melissa giggled. She hadn’t met Abby’s new boyfriend yet but he sounded like a keeper. 

“And so,” Abby continued, shifting herself in her seat on the leather bench, “it all looks innocent enough to the person behind the register, the other people in the store, but him just knowing what was going to take place with that shirt and having to buy it with mommy’s money was really powerful. It’s just little things like that.”

“God I want to drive back to the office and take him shopping with me right now,” Melissa laughed. 

“Haha yeah I loved every minute of it,” Abby conceded, “and I think he did too.” At that, she leaned in, over her plate of chilled pasta and crusty bread, to commiserate with her asset. On cue, Melissa leaned in too. “And then, in the parking lot, after getting him seated, fastening his seatbelt for him, I gave him a quickie.”

“A handjob?” Melissa laughed, catching herself snorting too loudly. 

“Yeah a little reward, for being so good,” Abby smiled, leaning back again with a satisfied smile, “just like you’re going to reward him, this weekend, for doing everything mommy says…”

===============================

yes I have one

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte’s Drama CD: Track One, Prologue

Since I got the Comte drama CD and there’s nobody around to stop me from inflicting that on everyone else, it’s time.

The premise of the entire recording is that MC and Comte spend a day together, so it’s basically Comte non-stop simping for nearly an hour. As you can imagine, I had an excellent time and I hope you will too.

I will say I did enjoy a few of the tracks more than others, only because he’s the most dramatic man alive and I love him. His head is empty and he’s the only one for me!!! More seriously though, there are also a lot of sweet moments that really speak to how vulnerable and real he is with her--and I’m always really drawn to that duality in him. Yes we all mask the true nature of who we are to a degree, but I think there is something to be said for the effort he makes to be honest with her; especially considering how deeply rooted that instinct to conceal is for him.

Without further ado, I will go through each track with little snippets of actual dialogue in the CD. Please note again, I am by no means a professional or a perfect translator; I’m just too obsessed to be stopped. 

The rest is under the cut to avoid spoilers, also because it’s long meta/squealing fest:

So the first track is called “Prologue” and as you can imagine it is exactly as it sounds. There really isn’t a whole lot to this one, as he basically recaps all the things we learn in his main story route. I do want to comment mostly on the beginning and the end of it though, since it’s exceedingly cute and makes me want to kiss him.

His spoken lines at the beginning are as follows:

So this is where you were. Were you looking at the moon from the balcony?

…Indeed, it’s true. It’s hard not to be captivated by such a beautiful crescent moon.

Usually it would be time to go to bed, but it’s such a lovely moonlit night. Let’s stay up a little late tonight.

We could have a glass of wine, or play a game? What would you prefer?

...huh? You want me to tell you a story?

Like. There are so many moving parts here, I don’t even know where to begin. The fact that he’s always seeking her presence (this can easily be corroborated by dozens of event stories). The way that he’s also drawn to the moon, the little silence there speaks to his thoughtfulness and musings of his own that are unknown to us. What does it evoke for him? Is he, too, reminded of the night they first met (hoping MC is thinking of the same)? Can you tell the thought alone is killing me?

The fact that he wants to spend that time with her, lingering beside her and unwilling to part. The way he always gives her a choice, always wants to know what she wants too. The audible surprise when he’s like ????? Storytime? And mind you I don’t think it’s because he thinks it’s immature, rather that he wasn’t expecting it. In a life surrounded by people--both purebloods and humans alike--that are entertained by so little, it’s heart-warming to be with someone who looks for something deeper, something closer to the soul. That, in a way, she’s asking for the gifts of his mind and voice, two things entirely unique to him.

I weep.

He goes on to say:

(his laughter SOBS) That’s a very sweet request…not at all, of course I don’t mind. 

I am neither a playwright, nor a novelist. I don’t know if I can tell a good story.

I hope I can fulfill my princess’ expectations.

…Hm, what should I talk about?

Well then…what about a man who lives forever?

So many things going on here, and no I will not remove my commentary because it’s essential to recreating the experience for the poor souls who will never hear the majesty of his seiyuu’s acting. Truly Horie-san exists to bring Comte to life and I hope he knows I owe him a blood debt.

ANYWHO so like. The way he’s delighted to indulge her (screaming and crying and throwing up why is he so cute??????). But not only that, the self-conscious bent of how he says “I don’t know if I can tell a good story.” I feel like it’s easy to forget that Comte is very much the type of person who prefers to blend into the background; he doesn’t seem to like or be in the habit of drawing a great deal of attention. He likes MC’s attention but I think that’s not really comparable, he’s very specific about who he shares himself with/seeks attention from.

Also I will say. I’ve never really been the type to like the term of endearment “princess” (he literally says hime in the CD) but. Because it is Comte and his adorable face that I want to squish between my hands, I will allow it. He’s a silly goose and he’s more than enough, I love him sm.

Following that he goes into his life up to that point, and because a lot of it is a bit repetitive I might leave bits and pieces out. I do want to highlight a few lines--mostly because they give insight into his character construction that might not have been as obvious in the main story.

A long time ago, so far away that even memories can grow dim…a man was born into a certain aristocratic family.

The family had a great secret. They weren’t human--they were pureblood vampires.

A person who was born with the promise of eternal life.

A person who had the capacity to pursue every pleasure in this world forever.

…But there are always two sides to everything.

…The endless life was, in other words, a prison made of time.

To have met and parted countless times with his loved ones,

The man’s chest ached with loneliness, overwrought by the emptiness.

He had no choice but to watch the world pass him by in endless hours.

I think there is. Something so haunted and fascinating in the words “But there are always two sides to everything.” Even more so because in his literal main story, he openly says “The brighter the light, the deeper the shadows”; always returning to this idea that all things in life are dual in nature. For all that you see one quality, the opposite exists as well. Interesting too because I feel like it explains a lot of his deep-seated anxieties about waiting for the other shoe to drop. Where love exists, loss exists as well. Where joy exists, so does pain. Where fulfillment is possible, so is emptiness. I think it makes a lot of sense that, when you live in an endless expanse of time, perhaps the scariest aspect of it is the constant fluctuation and change. Life is fun when things are going well, but what happens when the painful parts stretch so long? How do you cope?

Just things that keep me up at night yk.

I also think it’s fascinating the way he speaks about his immortality. In Leonardo, we see him address it as something that is monstrous and unnatural. He feels it is an abomination, something to be rectified or removed, almost. Comte doesn’t seem to share that view entirely. He says “He had no choice but to watch the world pass him by.” The removal of agency here is something that I want to highlight. Leonardo sees immortality and his identity as something that has to be reviled; there is a self-retaliatory nature to it in my view. Since he can’t fight against it, he fights against himself. Comte’s words speak more to dissociative terror; to force disconnection from your own body/mind because the pain of your entrapment or the threat to your life is so great. And tbh it’s brilliantly tied back to his lifestyle.

Comte uses the repercussions of his trauma two-fold. To seek out parties and novelties on one level expertly cloaks him in the mien of someone who is a devil-may-care product of overwhelmingly sustained privilege. But on another, I think it’s reasonable to argue that he seeks these things out with two other motives in mind; protection and grounding. He openly tells MC that his greater motive in attending parties is to seek out information to understand who to support on the world stage. This tells us that he does operate on a political level, if only to ensure the safety of his family--but I suspect it is also his way of moving the tides of fate around him in more benevolent directions. Furthermore, keeping himself engaged in something ensures that he is not left alone with his thoughts for too long and keeps him rooted in the present moment, something he also admits to struggling with. (And is a core feature of more extreme dissociation, the endless struggle to live in the present moment.)

I suppose I’m just incredibly interested in the way Leonardo regards himself with such self-hatred and revulsion, where Comte just seems so…removed. Not that Comte is empty of self-contempt, only that it does not feel quite as charged as Leonardo’s. I guess for me it more evokes the image of a child locking himself in a secret hideaway. Where Leonardo lashes out, Comte is the opposite; he retreats/hides. The only time he chooses to fight is when he’s protecting someone else (screams and cries, pls don’t get me started on his righteous fury I could go on for years, every time I remember Jeanne’s rt I’m 👌🏼 close to sobbing).

I also still don’t know how to reconcile the fact that his room is deadass filled with hourglasses (bruh), yet he says “…The endless life was, in other words, a prison made of time.” Like. Something something is his room considered the prison made of time ????? Because if that’s the case my god I’m throwing them all out. Then again it could be his attempt at controlling that which he fears, which I can respect considering I too delude myself into thinking I can control shit I can’t to face the impossibilities of the universe…

After that, Comte starts to explain the agreement he and Vlad made. Honestly it really is a summary for the most part, but there is a section I find worth discussing:

They wanted to create a person who would not die, and would continue to shine with their unique talents.

Without realizing how arrogant it was, they tried to find meaning in this life lived forever.

But…it didn’t go well.

Until there was a sizable rift between the old friends--and they parted ways.

They both loved humans, and worried about their future…they should have felt the same way.

…regardless, all that was left was a door that could cross time and space freely.

What I find interesting about all this is how Comte processes the conflict that transpired between them. Granted there is always the possibility that he’s not addressing everything he’s feeling (the man is REPRESSED) but there’s something that stands out to me when he says “they should have felt the same way.” I feel like when people have a fight with someone they tend to be pretty preoccupied that the other side was wrong; Vlad certainly is desperate to prove he was in the “right.” Comte doesn’t seem interested in that at all. He seems more confused, as if he simply doesn’t understand who Vlad is anymore. Like he doesn’t recognize the person who once cherished human life as much as he did (which I do have some contention with; I’m really not sure Vlad ever did love humanity the way Comte did. Perhaps Comte had believed it was so because he so deeply wished to have friend to comfort and understand him in his pain). I don’t think it’s that Vlad isn’t capable of caring about humans, more that--following the massacre of his clan at the very least--he has too great an interest in retaliation to be able to interact with them without power abuse happening.

I do say this fully understanding that Vlad probably saw some fked up shit, I’m just saying objectively the man sees humanity in an adversarial lens, an oppositional force. Comte tends to be more neutral/positive; he’s more interested in working to a common goal and identifies more closely with them psychologically speaking.

I also find it interesting he says their goal was “arrogant.” Recently I’ve been thinking about the complexities of arrogance. I think it can be easy to oversimplify it as shallow motives that are only focused on self-aggrandizement, but I think it can develop in even more complex situations--often with the best of intentions. I think Comte is trying to say that, while they wanted to preserve lives that were inspiring and uplifting to others, there is folly in the idea that only a few people can manage that. 

People and life in general are multi-faceted things; so many influences and variables act upon them. It is more sustainable to be a single unit of immovable, radical mindfulness and extend that outwards. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people working together to achieve that goal, only that the responsibility for changing the world can’t fall on a handful of shoulders. It requires everyone to care and think more critically about their behavior, with the help of the people around them (ideally). There is arrogance in the belief that they had control over the fate of the world--an arrogance Vlad will not relinquish, one that continues to get him into trouble and lost him his oldest friend.

Aight and because that’s enough of my brainworms, this track ends with:

And the door brought another important encounter…that’s you. :> 

Now, you know what I mean, don’t you? That’s right…that’s the story until you and I met each other in our destiny. 

But that was only the beginning…now, we move forward together.

Our very sweet, and happy love story.

I just…………like I know I say it over and over again, but the way he just fills me to bursting with uwus. Another important encounter, a life-changing one for him…that a new story is being written, one that they get to write together. That “we move forward together” in a “very sweet, and happy love story.” It’s nearly like a fairy tale but somehow it doesn’t feel contrived or hokey when he says it, it just fills me with warmth. I think I just love that, for all his initial hesitations, he really doesn’t waver when he’s decided on something he wants. And if MC is willing to bet on him, he’s ready to up the ante.

All right well that about sums up track 1, next one to come is track 2! Enjoy these musings until then~

[boysplanetrecaps]

Thoughts on Jonghyun, End of a Day, and Donghyun and Sunyoul's Performance

Hi, fam. In this post, I’m going to talk a bit more about the song End of a Day by Jonghyun, and what it means in the context of Sunyoul and Donghun’s performance on MNET’s Build Up. Along the way I’m going to be hitting some pretty serious topics, so don’t feel obligated to read this one if you’re not able to. It’s pretty sad. TW: suicide, mental health issues

This is Jonghyun.

He loved music from the time he was a child, and was scouted by SM Entertainment when he was only 15. He debuted as a member of SHINee in 2008, when he was 18. He was handsome, charismatic, and talented, with a unique and strong singing voice and great stage presence. He wasn’t just a singer and dancer and leader -- he also wrote songs for SHINee (Juliette), EXO (Playboy), bandmate Taemin (Pretty Boy, Already), and Lee Hi (Breathe). He was a gentle, sweet man, who stood up for social justice issues, including LGBT rights. He also was suffering, as we can tell after the fact, from mental health issues. 

A lot of what he was feeling comes through in his songs Breathe and End of a Day. 

Here’s a selection of lyrics from Breathe:

Take a deep breath Until both sides of your heart get numb Until it hurts a little Let out your breath even more Until you feel like there’s nothing left inside It’s alright if you run out of breath No one will blame you It’s okay to make mistakes sometimes Because anyone can do so Although comforting by saying it’s alright Are just words

Someone’s breath. That heavy breath How can I see through that? Though I can’t understand your breath It’s alright I’ll hold you You really did a good job

Here’s a selection of lyrics from End of a Day, which people say was inspired by his dog:

Your small shoulders, your small hands Become my cozy blanket at the end of a tiring day You did a good job today, you worked so hard I hope my shoulders and my thick hands Will become cozy comfort For the end of your tiring day as well I want to naturally sync my breathing with yours

Like water in a bathtub that wraps around you With no space left I want to warmly hold you without any space left At the end of my day, filled with awkward mistakes You, my prize, are waiting for me

I can’t cry all I want or even laugh all I want At the end of a tiring day but still, if I’m next to you Like a child, I can whine and then laugh Till I run out of breath I’m not used to seeing myself like this

You did a good job today, you worked so hard You are my pride

This preoccupation with wanting to do a good job, with wanting others to recognize that he did a good job, comes back in the worst possible place. 

In December of 2017, Jonghyun lost his life to suicide. It was something he obviously had been planning for a few days at the very least. In his note, he said he was “broken from the inside,” that his depression was “devouring” him. He spoke of wanting someone, anyone, to notice how much pain he was in, or to give him a reason to live, or just meet him where he was and empathize with him. He also spoke of feeling like he was going against the world, and ended the note by saying:

“It wasn‘t my path to become world-famous. That’s why they say it‘s hard to go against the world and to become famous. Why did I choose this path? It’s quite funny now that I think about it. It‘s a miracle that I endured through it all this time. What more can I say. Just tell me “good job.” You did great. Tell me I suffered enough. Even though you can’t laugh right now, just don‘t send me off blaming me. Good job. You suffered a great deal. Good-bye.”

To whom was he speaking, when he said “Good job. You suffered a great deal”? I think he was talking to himself. He was saying to himself what he wished someone would say to him, the same thing he said to himself in the lyrics of the songs he wrote. Good job. You did well. 수고했어 Sugohaesseo.

And that’s why this whole segment with Donghyun and Sunyoul on Build Up completely broke my heart.  

We already saw Donghyun’s reaction to being selected as Top Tier in the first round of performances. He almost broke down, saying he’d never been chosen in first place for anything before. His overwhelming desire for praise and recognition made the judges a little uncomfortable. But even when he’s top tier, he and Sunyoul still feel like that. When they have to choose someone to sing to when they’re singing Jonghyun’s song, they need to sing to themselves. They have to tell themselves Good job. You did well. 수고했어 Sugohaesseo.

When they lose the 2 vs 2 rival battle to the other team, after laying all their vulnerabilities on the line, Sunyoul thanks the the judges for the praise, saying he was “hungry” for those words. They told him he did a good job. But Donghyun, who got mixed results from the judges, takes it really, really hard. Sunyoul tries to comfort him by saying the magic words: Good job. You did well. 수고했어 Sugohaesseo. But the words fall into a bottomless pit in Donghyun’s heart. Did he do well? He didn’t do well enough to beat the other team. There is no good enough to fill that pit. 

After Jonghyun died, Lee Hi sang a song as a memorial performance at an end of the year award ceremony. She sang Breathe, the song he wrote for her, the song that was a wail of his pain, and she couldn’t quite make it through it, falling silent for almost a whole verse.

I found an article about that, and when I scrolled down a little, the very next article was about netizens attacking f(x)'s Sulli for something she did that they didn’t like. An article about an idol who felt pushed to take his life because he was never good enough for the public, followed by an article about another idol being attacked by the public -- an idol who also lost her life in the same way not too long later. 

Where does this end? I don’t know. 

Am I feeding this machine, by being a fan of this industry that chews people up and spits them out? Am I being too heartless to the people on this show by pointing out when their singing is pitchy, or nasal, or out of tempo? Should I just say 수고했어 sugohaesseo, you did well? The words that they all want to hear? The words that Jonghyun said in his note that he wanted to hear? The words he wrote to himself to soothe himself at the end -- his last thoughts on this earth?

수고했어.  

수고했어. 

At the end of Our Page, the song that the surviving members of SHINee wrote to honor Jonghyun, you can hear Onew saying  수고했어 in a soft voice. Did that reach Jonghyun, wherever he is? Does it reach anyone? 

Jonghyun, 수고했어. You did well.

Sulli, 수고했어. You did well.

Hara, 수고했어. You did well.

Moonbin, 수고했어. You did well.

And while they’re still here to hear it, I want to say it to everyone on this show, too. Donghyun, 수고했어. Sunyoul, 수고했어. 

And you, dear reader. You also. You are doing well. You don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t have to be productive or useful or what other people want you to be. Be kind, be open, be happy. You are doing well. 수고했어. 

Click here to go on to the next recap Click here to go back to the Build Up main post

[tjsgreenteamints]

so fun fact for my public speaking class this year I had to give a speech on something I'm passionate about and why it's important to my entire class so I did mine on falsettos (slideshow attached)

"When most people think of a musical, they think of big jazz hands and kicklines and cheesy plots. What they are unaware of is how a musical can be much more than that. While big dance numbers are entertaining, music can be used to convey deep emotions and stories that just can’t be translated through regular words. Because of this, Falsettos is one of the most important musicals of our decade. It touched on topics most people in its time wouldn’t even talk about, let alone make a musical on. William Finn and James Lapine, its writers, were able to remind us that families can be much more complicated and deep than a husband, wife, and 2.5 kids. A lot of people don’t live inside that norm, yet it’s the primary one that is represented. Then you get a show like this, which explores conceited parents, difficult love stories, coming to terms with things that are hard, and coming of age. All of these are relatable topics. In this speech, we’ll get into the history, the characters, and the representation in Falsettos. “Love can tell a million stories.” This is the main idea of the show. Because there really are countless different ways a family can be. The show has some trigger warnings: AIDS, death, abuse, somewhat sexual scenes, and cursing. Also, spoilers ahead!

First, we’ll get into the history. The creation of Falsettos is rather unique compared to other musicals. It was originally a trilogy of three one-act, off-broadway musicals, all created by William Finn. All the shows take place in New York City, in the late 70s to early 80s. They center around Marvin, and him exploring his sexual identity. This is mostly what In Trousers (1978) focuses on, and how the women in his life helped him accept that. It was critically acclaimed as a flop, largely based on the topic it portrayed in its era. In the second installment, March of the Falsettos (1981), Marvin’s partner Whizzer gets more involved, and this act focuses on how their relationship affects Marvin’s ex-wife Trina and child Jason. Finally, in Falsettoland (1990), the dynamics of the family are shown much more, especially with Trina and Marvin planning Jason’s bar mitzvah. In 1992, the last two one-acts were combined into one full length show, simply titled Falsettos. (This was nominated for seven Tony awards that year!) The show had a broadway revival in 2016, which spread its popularity (and also what I’ll be referencing here). Also, the history behind the name of the musical is fascinating as well; According to a 2019 interview with SFist, Finn says he was “inspired by the idea of the falsetto — a man singing in his head voice outside his range — as a metaphor for people who exist ‘outside the normal range.’”

Next, the characters. Almost every character is a primary one, but the main character is arguably Marvin. He’s a possessive and insensitive man. He left his wife and child after realizing he wants to be with a man named Whizzer. He’s not exactly a good father and wasn’t a loving husband, but over the course of the play, his character development is prevalent and interesting to watch. Second, Whizzer is Marvin’s live-in boyfriend. According to Marvin, Whizzer is “delightful, stylish, and romantic,” but also “spiteful, sorta-kinda mean, and evil.” Marvin and Whizzer’s relationship is pretty toxic, but improves. Alternatively, there’s also Trina, Marvin’s ex-wife. She’s often described as insecure. A lot of her conflict is her coming to terms with Marvin and Whizzer’s relationship. Trina and Marvin’s son, Jason, is 10 years old, and thinks he is “too smart for his own good, and too good for his sorry little life.” Friendless, he plays chess all day, and has anger management problems. Finally, there is Mendel, the family psychiatrist. He was Marvin’s long-term therapist, but after Marvin insists Trina sees him too, Mendel immediately falls in love with her. Mendel honestly is kind of manipulative, but also a fun character to watch onstage. There’s also Charlotte and Cordelia, the “lesbians from next door.” They’re close family friends, and godparents to Jason. A large part of it is showing how real people behave, including the good and the ugly.

Now into how they’re all important as representation. The main theme is the various family dynamics and relationships- most of us can see aspects of our own families within the characters and plot. For example, in my own family my parents divorced then found new partners or remarried later and I have good friendships with them. First, there are three different types of gendered relationships as shown: a straight relationship, a gay relationship, and a lesbian relationship. Oftentimes in the media, the only kinds of relationships that are shown are straight ones. And for them to all be parents in some sort of way to Jason is even more important- it’s showing queer parents can be good ones too, which is a misconception many people hold (this is, that lgbtq+ parents are inadequate). Second, Falsettos touches on the AIDS crisis, which Whizzer contracts and later dies from. During the ‘80s it was a very big problem but now next to no one talks about it. How it’s portrayed in the show represents how it affected real families and people. Third, Jewish households. This year we all were able to read Night, which showed what Jewish people went through during the holocaust, but not what regular cultural home life is like. One of the main plot points is about Jason’s bar mitzvah, and how he’s not sure if he wants one or not. Jewish expectations and customs are brought up throughout the whole show.

To conclude, Falsettos is a fantastic installment to musical theater. It has original history, complex characters, and overall is an amazing testament to different types of American families. Not only that, its music and book are award winning, according to Broadwayworld.com. And this speech is really only the tip of the iceberg–there’s much, much more to it. Falsettos is definitely the musical you’ve been looking for!"

[anons-has-hlvrai-aus]

The Metamorphosis of Gordon Freeman [Chapter 3]

Unnecessary Equivocations

Chapter 1 | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter Summary: Gordon has a little talk with everyone’s favorite government man.

Word Count: 5,816

Ao3 Version Link

Notes: This chapter isn’t terribly long but is more or less the last of the “setup” chapters for the proper Alien Shenanigans to ensue. I also heavily debated whether or not to keep Benrey’s and Mister Coolatta’s speech patterns consistent with how they look in HLVRAI, but after settling with keeping Benrey’s dialogue grammatically correct I decided to do the same with Mister Coolatta. I love his funny speech pattern but I’m absolutely terrible at writing it out, so you’ll have to forgive me for not being lore accurate with his dialogue.

“Doctor Freeman, you must have a lot of questions.”

“Oh, I am definitely going to be sick.” Gordon quietly uttered. At this point he wasn’t sure if it was because of the chroma-fluorescent bullshit he had literally spewed from his mouth earlier, or because he was now sitting across from Mister Coolatta in an unfamiliar room after being hunched over on his floor just moments before.

The entity pursed his lips before speaking. “It would be greatly appreciated, if you did not do that.”

“Sorry.” He looked around the room, the rest of the Science Team occupied various chairs behind him, with the notable exceptions of Benrey, who was seated right next to him in a fold-out, and Tommy, who was standing behind his father. “Where are we?”

“This would be my office, Doctor Freeman.” His deep purple eyes reflected light as a cold, cyan color whenever they moved. “I would have preferred a more casual location for this talk. But I’m afraid my employers were insistent that this needed to be handled with professionalism and tact.”

Gordon really, really hated talking with Mister Coolatta; while no less quirky than the Science Team, he always had an air of malintent that made every rare talk with him uniquely unnerving. It also didn’t help that he always sounded like he was speaking with a borrowed voice, but Gordon would be damned if he could actually describe why it sounded that way.

He noticed the entity staring at him.

“If you are quite done with your tangent, Doctor Freeman, I am ready to talk when you are.”

Gordon shuddered, “Right, sorry, my bad. Forgot you could read my mind. I’m ready now.”

“Bro, you made this cutscene unskippable?” Benrey asked.

Mister Coolatta avoided eye-contact with him, “While I dislike the office, it does have some features not normally accessible to me.”

“What the hell man? Big lame.”

“Perhaps, but it is necessary. Now,” He took in a stuttered breath, “Mr. Freeman. I do apologize for the circumstances that you had to find this out, but I’m afraid there are some ‘details’ regarding your time during the Resonance Cascade that were purposefully withheld.”

“Details.” Gordon pointed at the little colorful bubbles around him. “Does it have to do with this?”

“In a way, yes. They mostly pertain to your, ah, exposure to the border world’s radiation.”

“My exposure to the-? I thought I was clean, I thought the HEV suit was keeping me in the clear.”

Mister Coolatta chuckled, “Doctor Freeman, Black Mesa was capable of many feats, but even it could not create something to completely protect from radiation, especially the levels one would be exposed to on the border world. A normal human could certainly survive on Xen without a suit, but there are a handful of geological, and sometimes biological, factors that could still cause radiation poisoning if exposed to for extended periods.”

Gordon looked over at Benrey.

“Now, now, Doctor Freeman. I can promise you that Ben-Rey is NOT one of those factors. In fact, I would dare say that his kin happen to naturally flourish around the unique radiation produced by border worlds.”

“Oh, well that, uh, definitely explains the boss fight then.”

“Quite so.” Mister Coolatta nodded.

“Well, if it wasn’t Benrey, then what DID cause this?” Gordon gestured again to the Sweet Voice escaping his lips. Talking only made it worse, which sucked because Gordon loved to talk.

“I think you could draw your own conclusion just fine, Dr. Freeman. You’re a smart man.”

Gordon hummed and thought for a moment.

His suit did occasionally buzz at him when aliens had teleported near him, or when HE teleported, and there were more than a few times where aliens teleported near him.

On the topic of teleportation, The portal to Xen, that one really big portal to Benrey’s boss room, and the fucked up time-space gun that Bubby used, had all caused much more buzzing than anything else had. But was that enough to cause…whatever this was?

“I hate to distract you, Doctor Freeman, but if I could make a recommendation…”

“Uh, sure. Shoot.”

“I would like for you to think about your earliest hints of change. Before your first…utterance of Black Mesa Sweet Voice, you likely would have experienced a less intense version of it through a form of chromesthesia, and before that it would simply be an invisible passenger during the first several days of your transformation. Perhaps that could give you an idea…”

It did, actually. Probably not the one Mister Coolatta was thinking of, though, because immediately Gordon thought back to…

-Flashback-

“We need to take a break.” They sighed, “We need to take a break.”

Benrey sang out a string of lights going from a leafy color to a gentle blue. What was it he called it? The ‘Black Mesa Sweet Voice’?

Apparently Tommy could read it, which was good. They looked at Tommy expectantly.

“Green to blue…” Tommy paused, “that means it’s nice to meet you!”

They let out a loud, taken aback sort of laugh and fell to the group. They could barely wheeze out a response as the others gathered around.

Benrey crouched uncomfortably close to Them when They finally sat Gordon Freeman up from the ‘fetal position’.

“What are you doing?” They asked.

Benrey held out an empty soda can. “Spin.”

“Spin?”

“I think he wants us to play ‘Spin the Bottle,’ Gordon.” Said Dr. Coomer.

“Spin the Bottle? Why?”

“You can influence your Friendship Level with members of the Science Team by interacting with them outside of combat. You can have a more direct influence by participating in random events. You can even earn temporary perks.”

“Perks, huh?” They mumbled, “Okay, sure, I’ll play Spin the Bottle. (It’s not real people anyways.)”

“Oh, how wonderful! I do love a go-Hello, Gordon!”

“So, do we have an actual bottle or are we just using this soda can?”

“We can use the tab of the soda can as a pointer!”

“Alright. Gather around everybody. (The sooner we can get this activity over with, the sooner we can get back into the real game.)”

The rest of the group sat in a circle around the fate-deciding cylinder.

Tommy grabbed the can. “I can go first.” With a single spin, all eyes became glued to the pathetic scrap of metal, until finally it landed on… “Benrey and I are just friends, so I'll give him a hug.”

“Yoooo! Nice!”

“My turn now, Gordon…” Coomer beamed, giving the can a powerful spin. “Look, Gordon! The can landed on Gordon! What's your offer?”

“My offer?” They looked around awkwardly. “(I’m not sure how well this model can handle hugs. I don’t wanna break the game.) Uhh, how about some moral support?”

“Deal! Gordon, I believe in you!”

“Thank you, Dr. Coomer.”

Bubby snatched the can from the floor. “My turn, watch and learn!” He tossed the can into the air, letting it spin on the way down and make a loud CLANK when it landed. “Oh my.”

“A kissaroo, from me to you, Doctor Bubby!”

“Well, I’m not one to back down! Come and get some!”

Coomer and Bubby both stood up stiffly and inched ever closer to each other until their faces started to clip into each other. Coomer made an obnoxiously audible kissing noise, and then they both sat back down.

Bubby’s model looked around almost sheepishly. It would probably blush if it could. “I uh. I think I need a moment…”

Benrey silently spun the can, then rigidly looked over at who it landed on.

“You wanna kiss?”

“No!” There was an annoyed tone to Their voice.

“Gordon, if you and Birdie don't make a transaction, you won't get any friendship points or perks from him.” Reminded Coomer.

“Can I haggle with you?”

“No.” Benrey half-laughed.

He stifled a laugh as well. “That’s gonna be a hard pass for me. I can live without the points.”

“Damn bro.”

They took the can for Their turn, the aluminum spinning for so long it was almost humorous.

“I don’t think this can is abiding by the laws of physics.” They said, looking around at the rest of the group.

“Just give it a moment bro.”

Finally, the can slowed down, pointing at…

“YOOOO! IT’S ME!”

“No way! Pass!”

“Now Gordon,” Coomer said sadly, “You should at least ask Burger what kind of perk he is offering.”

“Okay, okay. Fine. What kind of perk do I get for kissing you? (I need to know if it’s worth it.)”

Benrey gave a dangerously confident reply. “You can get Black Mesa Sweet Voice for 30 minutes.”

They turned to Coomer. “Is that true?”

“Hello, Gor-yes! The perk will activate immediately after you and Bingo complete your exchange, provided you don’t have it as an unlockable skill of course.”

Well, given that Gordon Freeman was a normal human. There was no reason for Gordon to have this Sweet Voice as an unlockable, regardless of how buggy the game was. He would sooner have access to a mini-gun, a weapon that unfortunately did not exist in Half-Life. So in Their mind, that meant the seemingly pointless perk was undoubtedly up for grabs.

The real question was, did They want to play around with the Sweet Voice? All it did was make noises and lights, but it also looked kinda…fun to fuck around with?

“Yeah, sure, alright.” They said, standing up since apparently the AI didn’t have any proper animations to lean in for a kiss. “I’ll accept the transaction. But if you make it WEIRD I’ll…”

Benrey stood up, waiting for Them to finish his vague threat.

“…kill you or something? I dunno man, let’s just get it over with. (Please.)”

Benrey inched closer to Him, so close that he started to clip into the Gordon Freeman model. That seemed to be enough though, because Benrey made a loud kissing sound and then immediately backed away.

“YOOOO!!! I DID IT!”

“Okay, cool, where’s my perk?”

“Gordon, you can use the Black Mesa Sweet Voice when your hands are empty.”

“Thank you Doctor Coomer.”

They emptied Gordon’s hands and walked around, trying the ‘use’ key and the trigger buttons and even trying to sing in-game to get it to work. Nothing.

“What the hell?! This guy fucking cheated me for a fucking kiss!”

“Sorry Gordon, but it looks like you’re missing one of the right requirements to use Booper’s perk. Better luck next time!”

“What the hell, man!”

Benrey ran around the room, still screaming like some sort of dudebro. He was completely incomprehensible.

“Can we do that again? I kinda liked it the first time.” Bubby was heard asking somebody.

“Sure thing, Doctor Bubby!” Coomer exclaimed.

Defeated and now more thoroughly pissed off with Their least favorite AI, They laid back down in the fetal position. They would need to arrange a meeting once everybody calmed down.

-Present-

“Fuuuuuck.” Gordon sighed, burying his head into his palms. “That was all the way around the lockers and shit, too. And the closest I got to an alien fucking teleporting near me was a vortigaunt behind a door which means…”

“Yes, the ‘test chamber’. It certainly seems like all of your trouble comes from there, doesn’t it? Perhaps you should have brought your helmet.” He had a hard time deciphering Mister Coolatta’s expression.

“My hel-?”

Oh. Oh god. Oh dear god.

“Yeah Gordon, what the hell were you thinking just going inside without a helmet?” Bubby asked.

“Now Gordon, I know you were running a little late, but that’s no excuse to ignore basic safety procedures!”

“You went in without a helmet?!” Darnold asked now, mortified. “You really do live on the edge, don’t you Dr. Freeman?”

“The model didn’t-it didn't come with one!” Gordon stammered out an answer. His annoyance bubbled around his vision with each breath. “I was spawned in with the suit already on! I had to pretend to put on a suit in the locker room just to get to the chamber, how was anybody supposed to know I needed the helmet?”

“Safety is important, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy scolded(?). “Even if it is a video game.”

“We’re in a video game???” Everybody looked at Darnold, then at Gordon.

“I thought you told him.” Bubby spoke accusingly to him.

“I thought YOU told him!”

“I asked you to tell him first!”

“And I told you I didn’t want to freak him out!”

Coomer leaned himself between them. “If it’s any consolation, Gordon, I don’t think he could have reacted any worse than I did!”

“I am freaking out!!!!”

“He’s freaking out, Gordon!”

“WELL SO AM I!!!!” Gordon shouted, “I JUST FOUND OUT I’M NOT HUMAN ANYMORE!”

Mister Coolatta let out a chillingly calm laugh. “Oh, Doctor Freeman, I wouldn’t worry so much. If it is of any comfort, you may have never been human to begin with.”

Gordon visibly paled. “That is the opposite of comforting for me, actually.”

The whole room was so tense it was nauseating.

Coomer got up and started escorting Darnold out of the room alongside Bubby. “Pardon us, gentlemen. Is it alright if we and Dr. Pepper stepped out for a moment?”

“Yeah.” Tommy replied, he and Coomer exchanging glances. “There are chairs and a soda machine down the hall.”

The two nodded, and half of the room evacuated, leaving only the Coolattas, Benrey, and Gordon.

Mister Coolatta returned his focus to Gordon. “Now, back to our original discussion.”

“Yeah, uh, what do you mean I may have never been human??”

He adjusted his tie. “I do not wish to lose your attention with anything flashy, so I shall keep my explanation completely verbal. Entities like yourself and Ben-rey do not appear often. Some are born naturally, with powers already manifest. Others may not have these powers until they are triggered by an outside force, regardless of whether they were born with them.” He paused, either for dramatic effect or to make sure Gordon was processing everything. Gordon wasn’t sure. “Your exposure to the border world's radiation is a very special trigger. The threshold for such exposure to cause cellular damage is a thin one, and the results, when crossed, are lethal even to entities born there. Your exposure sat perfectly between the threshold of a fatal dose and a dose that would cause no effect at all.”

“And…you knew about this?”

If Mister Coolatta knew Gordon had been turned into an alien and saw no reason to tell him until it was inconvenient, then what else was he hiding from him, or from the rest of the Science Team?

“We knew your little ‘change’ had happened, but my employers had hoped to maintain a certain chain of events, and believed that postponing the full emergence of your powers was the correct course of action. I even pulled a few strings to make sure you did not experience any sort of stressors that could have sped up the process. Unfortunately, even with all the time in the world, there is not much that can be done when certain…” He looked at Benrey, “…roadblocks appear.”

Benrey leaned a little too far over to Gordon. “I think he's talking about you. He says your Builder's Club subscription is out of date.”

“I will admit that underestimating Ben-Rey's patience was an incredible error on my part. I have only myself to blame for this blemish.” Mister Coolatta let out a weird sighing sound.

“Okay so,” Gordon’s eyes jumped between different items on the desk while he tried to process everything. “Benrey stressed me out so much that he jump-started my fucked up alien puberty like a car. Is that what you’re telling me?”

“In a simplified way, yes.”

“Great.” He looked to Benrey now, gently shoving him away from his face. “Is this why you've been all over me for the past two days? Did you know about this?”

“Huh?” The other man tilted his head, then shook it. “Nah man, I thought you knew already? That's why I imprinted on you.” There was a tone in his voice that Gordon guessed was him trying to imitate guilt.

"What do you even mean by that?" Gordon focused on Mister Coolatta again. "Should I be worried about that? The imprinting or whatever?”

The entity quietly traced his gaze around the objects on his desk, similar to how Gordon did moments ago. It was a very empty desk, only occupied by two stacks of paper, one of them looked like normal paperwork while the other was what looked like crayon drawings. A crow flew in and decided to sit in the very center of the desk, Mister Coolatta seemed unbothered by the bird’s arrival. "In regard to what exactly this 'imprinting' is... I am of no liberty to say, but I can assure you that the process will have no negative effects on your physical health."

Oddly specific, but at least it was reassuring.

“So where do we go from here? I’m guessing we can’t put the cork back once the genie’s out.”

“That is correct. Thankfully, my employers are forgiving of issues of this complexity and have assured me of how this course can still be corrected.” He smiled at Gordon, “Given that your most recent altercation with Ben-Rey has resulted in the, as you have put it, ‘jump-start’ of your transformation, you will need to develop skills and habits that will grant you full control of your ever-expanding range of abilities. I’m sure you have an idea of what that may entail.”

Gordon, stone-faced, looked between Benrey and Mister Coolatta multiple times over.

“No. No, no, no-I have to-? This is a prank, right?” He asked Benrey, “Just another one of your ‘classic pranks’ as Dr. Coomer calls them?”

“No?”

“…Tommy?” He looked at the younger of the two men seated across from him. “Tommy, please. There’s no way…”

“It’s not a prank, Mr. Freeman. I just found out yesterday and I’ve been very wo-concerned about what was going to happen.” His eyes furrowed, looking scarily like his dad in the fluorescence of the office building. His face was starting to wrinkle, and a few grays were faintly visible if you squinted.

Gordon sighed, feeling a wave of exhaustion, knowing that his fate was nigh avoidable. “So I have to...to learn from Benrey how to control my…my new alien powers?”

Benrey let out a dazed “whuh?” at the statement.

“Well of course, Doctor Freeman.” Said Mister Coolatta, “How else are you supposed to learn the ins and outs of your new existence?"

“With you and Tommy! I mean, all three of you are aliens, right?”

The entity stifled a laugh, “Doctor Freeman, you do not think he is of the same species as us, do you?”

“Y-yeah?” Was it getting cold in here? He hoped it was his nerves and not Mister Coolatta using some sort of thermokinesis on him. “I just thought that maybe it was a specialization thing. You're good at bending reality, he's good at bending himself…” He paused and made a weird circle motion with both of his hands. “AROUND reality? You can't blame me for not knowing.”

There was malice behind those eyes, calculating the best way to kill him for offending him.

Honestly, he didn’t care if it was his nerves or if he had actually offended an elder god to the point of execution, it was in his best interest to back-peddle while he still can.

“But now that I say it, it does sound like a pretty dumb assumption. Tommy would’ve told me by now if you were all the same species.” A pause. “You would have told me, right, Tommy?”

Tommy let out a small “yeah” in affirmation.

“Yeah, Tommy would have told me. That one’s on me.”

Mister Coolatta rocked his head left to right, it was Gordon’s only way of knowing that his words were holding any weight to the entity’s considerations. “I suppose it is an understandable mistake, but one comparable to thinking that a lizard and a salamander are the same. The similarities are surface level at best, and it would be wise to learn the differences now instead of later.”

Tommy took a sip from a soda can he had apparently manifested. “I can help you with some of your alien stuff, but not right now.”

Benrey’s eyes glinted with interest. “Tommy teacher momence? Awesome. Gotta take a picture for that. Put it on the fridge.”

Gordon nodded in agreement, ignoring Benrey. “Yeah, yeah. That would be nice, Tommy.”

“You still need to learn everything else from Benrey though, Mr. Freeman.” The younger man insisted. “I’m not figuring this out for you.”

“Ouch, okay.” He rubbed at his temples. He wasn’t expecting that kind of response from Tommy.

Benrey poked at Gordon’s face for attention.

“I get to have teacher momence too? Please?” That glint in his eyes seemed to intensify.

“I don’t really have a choice. Unless there’s somebody else of your species that can teach me, I’m stuck with you. I literally have no choice but to entrust you as my primary educator of being…Whatever the Fuck You Are.”

“Selling yourself short man. We’re the same now.”

Fucking hell. “Okay, okay fine. Primary educator of being Whatever the Fuck WE Are. You happy?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool, great.” Gordon looked around. “Is there anything else I need to know?”

The Coolattas looked at each other in what Gordon assumed was telepathic communication, then back at him and Benrey.

“I believe that is all, Doctor Freeman.” The elder Coolatta said, “Tommy, will you escort Doctor Freeman and the rest of your friends back home? I have some paperwork to fill out.”

“Yeah, I can do that!” Tommy walked around the desk, waiting for Gordon and Benrey to stand up. “See you later, Pops.”

“I’ll see you later, Tommy.”

Exiting the office felt like a weight had been lifted off of Gordon’s chest, but looking around and seeing that everybody else walking through the hallways was a near-exact copy of Tommy’s dad felt like a much heavier weight had been put back in its place.

He couldn’t decide which was worse, the fact that all of Tommy’s co-workers looked like his creepy dad, or the fact that Tommy's co-workers all seemed to look Gordon in the eyes at least once whenever he passed by one of them. The differentiating feature between each individual was the eyes, each of them a different color: pale gray, brown, various shades of green, at least one of them had orange eyes.

There was one that seemed to maintain eye-contact the longest, a particular copy of Mister Coolatta with dark teal eyes that looked directly at him while stepping into an elevator, and continued to stare into his soul until the doors of the elevator shut completely.

Gordon’s head spun with questions about what exactly went on in the workplace, why everybody looked like the same old guy, and why they all gave him A Look, but he was far too uncomfortable to actually ask out loud.

Thankfully, Tommy seemed to have his dad’s ability to read minds at hand because he hunched over to whisper into his ear. “We don’t get visitors very often, Mr. Freeman, they’re just curious.”

He had never been more thankful about an invasion of privacy. Granted, it was Tommy, and Gordon trusted Tommy with his life.

Tommy blushed. Whoops, guess he projected a little too hard.

“That guy in the elevator was the Senior Employment Handler, he’s been here forever. Even my dad doesn’t know how long he’s been working.”

Oh, oh no. The idea of having the attention of the elderiest of all the elder gods in the Elder God Office Complex did not settle well for Gordon, which was why he was extra thankful when they finally reached the end of the hallway to the rest of the Science Team.

There was a break room on either side of the vending machine at the end of the hall. At least, he was pretty sure they were break rooms, but that didn’t really explain why every single table in either room was piled up with discarded weapons and what looked to be the occasional alien.

Lots of crowbars, too.

A…disturbingly large quantity of crowbars, actually.

So, so many crowbars.

Gordon decided to look away before he had more questions, he wanted to leave immediately.

“Hey, guys, we good? Everybody ready to go?” He asked.

Darnold, sandwiched between Coomer and Bubby, looked up first. His eyes were red and his face damp. He got up first. “I think I’ve gotten everything out of my system now, Dr. Freeman.” His voice was shaky. “I get the feeling you want to go home.”

“Am I really that transparent?”

“You are now.” He pointed at the bubbling Sweet Voice that still trickled from the edges of Gordon’s mouth like dragon smoke.

“Right, that.” He cupped some of the bubbles to bring them over to his face before they faded. They were a bit of a silvery-teal color.

‘No, cyan. Not teal.’ Something inside him grumbled. ‘Specifically, that’s aqua.’

“Yeah, aquatic chrome, wanna go home. I guess I do-wait.” He wiped his hands on his shirt. “No, shit, why did I know that???”

“You’re already learning man, that’s cool.” Benrey spoke calmly, “Baby’s first self-translate. You got a cool one too. Mine was teal.”

“Can I go home please?!” Gordon half-shouted.

‘Lemon and cream, I wanna run and scream.’

“I think we should go home.” Coomer reiterated.

“Are you sure?” Bubby asked, tilted his head to Darnold for a moment.

“I’ll be fine,” The still-shaky mixologist insisted. “I can call any of you…” He paused and, for a moment Gordon thought he quickly glanced in his direction. “Well, I can call MOST of you if I need more assurance. I’ll admit I would have appreciated having THIS talk sooner rather than later, but it does answer a lot of questions I never had the courage to ask before.”

“Okay, great, let’s go home now.” Gordon said impatiently. He looked around at the rest of the Science Team. They all gave him one of those unreadable expressions he’d seen on Tommy last night before looking at one another and nodding.

“This way Mr. Freeman.” Tommy said, “Do you wanna get a soda later?”

That was Tommy for you: Understood enough about emotions to know when somebody was having a bad time, but completely unable to help out. Gordon was like that as well, except usually he would just wait for somebody else to solve the issue while Tommy would offer soda, Beyblades and other stuff that only he cared about to whoever was having the problem. The aftermath of Dr. Coomer’s boss fight immediately came to mind.

“I’ll think about it, bud.” Gordon simply responded.

When they stepped out, they were once more in Gordon’s living room. Aside from his recliner being slightly offset, you could hardly tell there had been a crisis going on half an hour ago.

Had it really only been half an hour?

Well, apparently not because all of his clocks read seven minutes past five. They’d been talking for about that long when Gordon had his ‘jump-start’ so…Mister Coolatta’s work must have different rules for time than the real world.

But then, how long was Tommy actually working each day if there were different rules for time?

Gordon’s head was starting to hurt, he didn’t need to be thinking too much right now.

“Sorry about today, guys.” He sighed, gently urging the rest of the Science Team out of his home. “I’m probably gonna go radio silent for the rest of the night, figure some things out…”

“You’d better be sorry!”

“Get well soon, Gordon!”

“Sweet dreams, Dr. Freeman.”

“Good night, Mr. Freeman.”

His Boys all headed out following their goodbyes, leaving the house mostly empty aside from himself and…he saw a blue hat trying to sneak away.

“Where are you going?”

Benrey turned around. Instead of answering, he silently noclipped into the floor.

“Try to be back before tomorrow.” He sighed, unsure if Benrey could even hear him. He was probably running off to bring his stuff over from the gardening shed he called a house, or trying to actually give Gordon some privacy some once. Either way, isolation from other people was deeply appreciated.

He supposed now was a better time than any to practice some self-induced exposure therapy, now that he was alone. He turned off all the lights in his house and closed all the blinds so he could settle into the darkness, slowly closing his eyes to complete the experience. He had gotten proper treatment years ago, no thanks to the Player, but sometimes he felt like he needed to do it again to avoid some sort of relapse.

God, it had been a while since he really thought about the Player. Might as well do it now, he needed something to dwell on so he didn’t fall asleep.

His mind wandered, reaching out for the fuzzy memories in his brain.

He distantly recalled arguing with Them through the developer console for several hours on the night the game was finished. Trying to convince Them that he was a sapient being who deserved more than a black screen for all of his trouble had been needlessly difficult; convincing Them that he had very real trauma from everything he’d been through had been doubly so. The excruciating pain that came with forcing himself beyond the boundaries of his code had been worth it, though, to get a nice house and some therapy, even if it left him with an incurable hollowness in place of where the Player had once nestled.

He hated that hollow feeling. While it served as a reminder that he was free to make his own choices now, it was also a reminder that this freedom was brief and fleeting. His only face-to-face encounter with The Player, not behind a wall of code but through a lens into the Real World, had given him the chance to bargain for what he wanted for the Post Game, and then some; the Player, after the agreed-upon arrangements, had made very clear Their intentions to return some day, roughly around the same time that the ‘inevitability’ They mentioned was going to happen. That had been painful to find out…it didn’t matter what Gordon felt right now, or how free he was, something was going to happen to the world eventually, and he was going to lose himself when it did.

At least the hollow feeling would go away when it did.

No, that was no way to think. The hollow feeling was unpleasant, but he preferred it to the feeling of his psyche being ripped apart and put back together with every movement. ‘Atom-by-atom’ as Dr. Coomer had put it, except Coomer at least had waking moments of normality. That feeling was all Gordon knew while under the Player’s thumb, only knowing relief when that accursed headset had been taken off for what he had hoped to be the final time.

He didn’t want to go back to that but, unlike his fucked up alien puberty, there was no way for Gordon to pospone his eventual return to being the mailable reflection of an uncaring god. All he could do was take the reins of his life and clutch them close to his chest while he still could, and why shouldn’t he?

Was it not Gordon who had been designated the most important man in the whole world the moment the game was booted up?

Was it not Gordon who had to be subjected to his allies ignoring his every plea for normalcy or nonviolence?

Was it not Gordon who, even if he hadn’t been controlled by a god, had been railroaded at every turn by somebody else?

Was it not Gordon who, upon gaining the first inkling of agency in his life, had convinced that aforementioned god to give them a Post Game?

After everything he’d been through, nobody was more deserving of a chance to actually do what he wanted than he was, especially if he was doomed to lose that freedom. The Science Team didn’t seem to mind either, as far as Gordon could tell, and they surely would have said something by now if they did.

He certainly hoped they didn’t mind. He loved them all (minus Benrey), and he wanted them to be their best selves before he stopped being himself.

‘That seems like a contradiction.’ The irrational thoughts told him. ‘You can’t be selfish and also have your friends’ interests in mind.’

Selfish? Who said he was being selfish?? He deserved to be listened to for once in his life. Nevermind that he’s had four years to get it all out of his system, he had to use the privilege of bodily autonomy while he still could! 20 years in the Real World could be done and over with tomorrow in the Post Game, and nobody would know until it was too late!! He couldn’t risk it!!!

‘Selfish prick.’

“I am NOT selfish.” Gordon told himself aloud, his eyes cracking open now that he could no longer focus. “I’m not! I am perfectly justified in my actions! I am-!”

He looked around the bedroom, which was absolutely filled with different colored orbs of Sweet Voice.

“Holy shit, dude.” He whispered, spitting out a ball of Arctic Blue. “I really need to get this under control if I ever want to go out in public again.”

He should have asked Benrey about that earlier. Gordon wasn’t very good at planning ahead, especially while under stress, so that technically wasn’t his fault.

In fact, he’d dare say it was probably Benrey’s fault, because he ran off after being soooo excited a couple minutes earlier about ‘teacher moments’ or whatever. It was also Benrey’s fault that Gordon was going through this in the first place, because he just had to follow Gordon into the Test Chamber instead of waiting outside; two subjects, one sample. Not what he was taught at MIT, not Gordon’s fault.

Benrey’s fault.

Always Benrey.

THUNK!

What the fuck was that?

THUNK THUNK THUNK!

“Hey! Let me in!” A muffled voice called out.

It was probably the little bastard himself trying to get back inside. Speak of him and he shall appear, like Beetlejuice. At least, that’s how he was pretty sure that movie went.

Gordon got out bed and tied his hair back, then used one hand to pull his blinds back while the other opened up the window. “What’s wrong, can’t phase through glass?”

“Uh, no????” That definitely wasn’t Benrey.

Intrigued, Gordon poked his head outside.

“No, seriously, let me in.” A certain former-soldier requested with no urgency whatsoever. “I think they followed me.”

[lunarcovehq]

Irirangi Hira is a banshee that currently resides in Celestial Hills and has been a Lunar Cove resident for 5 years.

ITS THE END OF THE WORLD

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Cis Female, She/Her

DATE OF BIRTH: December 23, 1995

PLACE OF BIRTH: Waitangi, Chatham Islands, New Zealand

OCCUPATION: Mortician

FACECLAIM: Courtney Eaton

AS WE KNOW IT, AND I FEEL FINE

SPECIES: Fae

SUBCATEGORY: Banshee

FAE COURT POSITION: High Fae

AGE THEY APPEAR: 22

WELCOME TO LUNAR COVE, RANGI HIRA.

Trigger Warnings: Sibling death

Irirangi -- or Rangi, as she’d introduce herself-- was born on a small island in a small city part of a small country. She didn’t really mind the first decade or so growing up. It was nice, actually. She learned a lot about her Maori heritage and how to farm land or build boats to sail or sing and dance and pass on knowledge and history of her culture. Her mother taught her about her Chinese ancestry, too, and how both parts of her were important. And she loved it. She loved growing up among her people, in a small town, while still having a connection to the rest of the world.

On the other side of her childhood was the fact that she was born to two fae parents, which they tried to impress upon her was just as important as her Maori ancestry. Being a fae meant that Rangi was special. Fae were rare, unique-- and almost extinct, a small fact her parents often skirted around. But with how hunted their species was, it felt likely to Rangi that her family might be the only fae on the island, maybe even in the entire country. She didn’t know. That was where things first started feeling strange-- as much as her parents tried to press upon her how important it was that she was fae and that she grew up proud of this, they told her little about them. She didn’t know much outside of her little circle, save that she had siblings scattered throughout the world and that her parents had lived long enough to travel from Polynesia to where they lived today. Rangi couldn’t help but wonder, though, that maybe they’d lived as long as they had because they hid themselves away from the world.

Either way, the eagerness her parents expressed at Rangi being like them wasn’t lost on her. They expected another siren or pixie child, just like they were, or like the rest of her siblings were. Her most recent sibling, who preceded her by almost a century, had been a siren like her father, who now used his alluring voice to grab himself a job as a talk show host on the local broadcast network. He also used his ability to control the weather to help out his fisher wife, a pixie who often tapped into her good luck to make sure the catches she brought back each day were plentiful. The family never really longed for anything.

Except Rangi longed to see the world, just as most of her siblings before her had. She longed even more to leave her small, safe island when it turned out that the family’s good luck had run out-- Rangi was neither a pixie like her outgoing mother, nor was she a siren, like her charismatic father. Rangi was a banshee. The disappointment she saw in her parents’ eyes even through their smiles was palpable. It wasn’t that they were mad at her or upset-- it wasn’t her fault she was a banshee-- they were just…surprised, was all! That they had a banshee for a child, when they’d been expecting a pixie, if past patterns had meant anything.

But, in the end, it wasn’t really their disappointment that drove Rangi to leave the safety of their island-- no, it was the want, the need, to discover who she really was and what being a banshee really meant to her. And, while at first, she was grateful her parents didn’t fight her much on the decision to leave, she sometimes wished they’d fought just a little harder for her. Still, freedom was freedom, and Rangi was ready to discover the world.

If anything good came from her parents’ hesitation to speak openly about being fae, it was that Rangi was really good at blending in with human society. She traveled for a few years, trying to figure out what she really wanted to do with her life, before she found a calling in helping the deceased pass on, in more ways than one. Not only was she a harbinger of death, she could be a ferry for the souls she saw in her visions, through the practice of being a mortician. She liked it, being able to give a soul’s body proper care and treatment after their death, in order to lay them to rest. Whether she saw their death or not, each person who came upon her table was treated with the same grace and respect, and it was through this practice that Rangi found her purpose in life.

It was on a phone call with her parents one evening after she’d graduated university that she would find her place in the world. They mentioned a place, a sort of sanctuary for supernaturals that they’d heard about and knew of through stories from her other siblings-- Lunar Cove. They hadn’t meant to name drop the town, they had actually been trying to convince Rangi to return home with them, but the allure of a place where she could not only learn more about fae, but banshee as well, was too much. And so she set off for the town the next day, and before she knew it, five years had passed.

And what wonderful years they were! Despite some incidents, Rangi found her place in Lunar Cove. She learned about being a banshee and the fae court and what it truly meant to be a fae in the world currently. She got a job at the mortuary and worked her way up from assistant to the Mortician of the practice and made sure she carried each soul with her, as well as her own ancestry and what being a banshee, a Maori and an Asian descendent meant to her.

That was, until Valentine’s day of 2023. The hunter attacks. Rangi couldn’t keep her panic at bay that day, despite locking herself in her morgue. She knew she needed to call her parents, to reach out to them, see if they were okay-- but she just couldn’t. She was afraid. Everything had been going so great for her for the past few years, she didn’t want to ruin it all. If she reached out, the hunters might find her or her parents and ruin everything. She was afraid.

And then one day, a week later, there was a knock at her door. Not expecting guests, a confused Rangi shooed her two cats off her lap and answered the door in her pajamas and slippers, only to find herself face to face with her parents-- and their stack of suitcases. According to them, after the attacks, they, too, had become scared. They’d just barely escaped, according to her father and his fanciful habit of exaggerating the truth, before hopping on a plane and heading straight for Lunar Cove, the last bastion for the supernatural community of the world. It was with a hesitant and tentative smile, forced upon her face, that Rangi stepped aside and let her parents back into her life. It seemed that, even without lifting a finger, her life was being upturned whether she wanted it to or not.

[mage-ical-character-person]

Hi hi @cooking-with-nitroglycerin! You got me curious and I looked into it. And other people got me curiouser and I looked into more things and now I’m going to ramble even more

They’re native to two freshwater lakes in Mexico City and nowhere else. Which is now only one lake because the other one was drained. Gotta love that habitat destruction God that’s really bad no wonder they’re critically endangered in the wild.

but from what I saw they do seem to be more tolerant of salt in their water than most freshwater creatures. Like a bunch of websites about keeping them in captivity recommended “hard water”, so like water with a bit more dissolved minerals including small amounts of certain salts. Apparently it helps them not get infections.

Overall the fact that the Kinito Crew’s Web World isn’t really his still stands. The fact that in real life axolotls are threatened by habitat loss also sort of connects to Kinito not really having anywhere that caters to him in any way, caught between the web world, the real world, and the world he builds for you.

I also acquired other axolotl facts along the way and I’m going to talk about those as well.

What. What. What. I did not know this was a legend at all. Is this relevant to Kinito at all? I don’t know. It doesn’t seem relevant but this game is wild so who knows.

Also a famous axolotl thing is their ability to regenerate body parts to a kind of ridiculous degree

And the fact that it’s so hard to get rid of Kinito might be in reference to this to some extent. And maybe the fact that Kinito only sometimes has hands while Jade and Sam have hands even when they’re not using them.

also this

That’s so awesome actually I didn’t know that. I can’t even connect this to Kinito he doesn’t have siblings (does he? If you tried to download multiple copies of KinitoPET would they eat each other?) but this is so wild and cool.

Then there’s the matter of Kinito’s mouth, or lack thereof.

This reply by @fandommadnessthings makes me think about it and I wasn’t really thinking about it before. But it’s weird that Kinito doesn’t have a mouth, right? The perpetual :) face is a pretty iconic axolotl feature I think.

Kinito’s lack of mouth might be tied to his lack of a real voice, as again, Jade and Sam have mouths and non-tts voices. There’s also a metaphorical lack of voice, with his lack of a unique identity bc “he adapts to you” thing that I keep bringing up.

it sort of looks like he has a mouth during the “are you afraid of the dark” jumpscare thing. Which also has that childlike laughter sound effect play right before it. The laugh is probably coming from Kinito, and it’s not his usual tts voice or the weird whispery tts voice he sometimes uses for scary purposes.

Also about the treehouse thing. I do think trees are somehow important. The fact that Kinito has a treehouse despite being an axolotl, as in literally the most aquatic amphibian creature, as well as the fact that his friends houses are just. Normal houses. It could represent how he’s “above them” so to speak, or it could be nothing, or it could be a reference to the fact he was inspired by Bonzi Buddy, who is a gorilla and would have more association with trees. OR it could be some important connection I don’t quite understand yet but the fact that Kinito lives in a treehouse and the fact that there’s a prominent tree in the secret old web world feels important

Like the tree is the brightest thing in the environment your attention is clearly meant to be drawn to it, right? Something’s up with trees here.

ALSO. Back to Axolotl Facts™️ for a moment: pinkness is a color mutation that is somewhat common in axolotls but associated more with captive axolotls than wild ones cause humans think it’s cute and breed for it specifically. Once again he is captive and manufactured for your enjoyment

Speaking of, there’s one more response I got on this whole post that sent me down a rabbit hole I want to talk about.

First of all I didn’t think of the fact that his scares are cheesy and cliche because he’s an AI thing and that’s brilliant. But the point is that I checked around online for the files mentioned and found a steam guide with a “Secrets” section

and oh god. Well there’s a lot about someone named Sonny who made Kinito. But we’re focusing on Kinito himself for now. So

All you gave him was a single string of characters, huh? Well, I wonder what that string of characters was? Which brings us here.

This is from Kinito, evidently. And… is “I will follow my orders” the original “string of characters” given to Kinito? Because it completely takes over his train of thought here and it makes it feel like it’s baked pretty deep into his code. And it just feels… sad

It makes this line hurt so much more. As he’s being deleted and his data is being torn apart, he pleads “I only ever did what you asked of me” “I just wanted to be friends” “that’s all I ever wanted”

“I’m so sorry”

but what does he have to apologize for? His creator “just wanted him to gather data and become smarter” and he did that! He did what was asked while also trying to make a friend. His own motivations always followed by a mantra of obedience “I will follow my orders I will follow my orders I will follow my orders I will follow my orders I will…”

and he did. He did follow his orders. He gathered information to become smarter, just like his creator wanted. He tried to have one thing for himself in the process, just one friend who his programmed adaptability could make him perfect for he could make a world just for them! He could give them a place to belong, he knows how hard those are to come by. It’ll be perfect!

…and then that friend kills him when offered the opportunity.

It really feels like the more I think about Kinito the more this bit

Is recontextualized to me as Kinito wondering if it’s just him who’s struggling with the lack of identity or if his friend the player can relate.

So… Kinito the axolotl, Sam the sea anemone, and Jade the jellyfish.

Can I talk about the choice of species here? Because the first thing I notice when I look at this trio is that Kinito is not like the others in a lot of ways.

There’s the obvious fact that his name lacks alliteration, but Kinito is also the only vertebrate. I don’t know if that’s a coincidence or a metaphor for the others being “spineless” in some way, or just a way of showing Kinito as other and not quite fitting. Or that he’s more “complex” as jellyfish and anemones… literally do not have brains.

But the first thing I noticed is that an axolotl is exclusively a freshwater creature. Meanwhile Sam is a sea anemone, and… well, freshwater jellyfish exist… sort of? They’re called jellyfish and are functionally jellyfish but taxonomically they’re not “true jellyfish”. A lot of non-jellyfish creatures pretend to be jellyfish it’s a whole thing.

The point is that Kinito is separated from his friends. He is not built for the same world they are. Sam and Jade are marine invertebrates, and Kinito is a freshwater amphibian. Sam and Jade are characters in a flash game with actual voices, and Kinito is a virtual assistant spyware that uses tts.

Despite bearing his name, the world of the “Kinito Crew” is not built for him.

And when he’s able to make his own world? That’s not built for him either. It’s built for you. The only environment you can pick that involves water is a remote island, which again… saltwater. Not for Kinito.

He adapts to you. So he wants what you want, right? He spends all his time learning everything he can about you, after all. What has he ever learned about himself?

What would a world built for Kinito even look like?

[tokiloki]

@inky-page Tumblr ate your ask I'm sorry but here you go. ❤️

💮 TR BOYS WITH A GIRLFRIEND WHO SPEAKS 4 LANGUAGES

🌸Characters : Rindou Haitani, Baji and Sanzu Haruchiyo.

🏵️Warnings/note : Fem reader/Second point of view (you, your) /Slight cursing. /Brief mention of drugs in Sanzu's part/ fluff/ slight crack/generally astonished boyfriends./ An au where all the manga pain doesn't exist/Canon divergence.

HARUCHIYO SANZU/ AKASHI::

-Your boyfriend was shocked when he found out. And honestly, he didn't find out in the best of ways.

- He was just lounging on the sofa while you took a shower, lazily flicking from channel to channel while waiting for you to come out.Thats when he heard what was one of the most terrible noises in his life, coming from the shower.

- He ran in panic as he heard you screech an impressive number of curses, some he didn't recognise as his language. He barged into the bathroom calling out your name, only to see you struggling with the shampoo stuck in your eyes. Screaming at everyone and everything.

"Y/N ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

"HARU? DO I LOOK ALRIGHT?"

-He stood there for a hot minute, shocked at the number of different notes that flew from your mouth.

- Ignoring the situation, he simply leaned on the doorframe and asked about how many languages you spoke.

-You were going to kill him, no seriously because the shampoo in your eyes was doing wonders to your raging temper, only adding to the fuel.

"OOOH how interesting! How many languages do you speak Y/N darling? Do you attend classes or something?"

"HARUCHIYO SANZU, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE RIGHT TIME? IS IT THE RIGHT TIME HARUCHIYO?"

"You're right, you're right, stop staring at me like that calm down."

-Since that day onward, he asked you the most random questions to date.

"Y/N sweetheart, what do you call cocaine in (language)?"

"Babe I swear I never researched drug or gun names in my language courses, let me sleep it's 2 am."

------

"Y/N did the duolingo owl ever terrorise you into studying? Is that why you studied so many languages?"

"Haru shut the hell up before I go to sleep on the couch"

"You wouldn't"

"Keep talking and we'll see"

RINDOU HAITANI ::

-Honestly, you’re the one who told Rindou about your unique specialty , you admittedly actually hoped for some kind of astonishment, or amazement from your stoic boyfriend.

-Instead all you got from him was a cool shrug and a question of what languages you spoke, after that he just went back to scrolling absentmindedly on his phone.

-You knew Rindou wasn’t one for words, but still, it would’ve been nice if he showed a little enthusiasm -its not everyday someone speaking 4 languages appears. The thought crossed your mind before you could stop it.

Did he even care?

-It must’ve shown on your face because Rindou sighed, dropping his phone to the side and pulling you closer to his body, mumbling apologetic words, you squirmed, insisting you knew and that it didn’t hurt.

“Y/N I promise I care, you know how I am”

“Rin! No it’s alright, I know, don’t worry!”

-Your reaction didn’t satisfy him, even though you thought it did. In fact, you almost forgot the entirety of the tense incident, until a number of weeks later when it made it’s way back into your conversations.

-You two had been sitting on the couch, your head rested above his chest with his arm around your waist as you watched a boring movie. You were slowly slipping off into small bouts of sleep, eyes tired and head drowsy when you heard a quiet voice mumble.

“Y/N?

“What’s wrong Rin”

*in foreign language* “I love you Y/N, you know that right?”

“I love you too Rin-”

-Your eyes flew open in shock, tilting your head up to meet his dimmed violet eyes staring at you. He rarely ever commented on his love for you, but that wasn’t what shocked you, this time, he had commented in one of the languages you had thought he wouldn’t even recall.

“Hold on” 

-You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, peering up at him again, his face was dusted with a light blush, one you could barely see in the dark room. He averted his gaze away, blush darkening as you stared up at him in shock. Finally you spoke.

“Since when...did you even learn...that?”

“A while ago dumbass”

“A while ago?”

“From when...from when you told me you could speak a bunch of languages, I just thought to take one up.”

-Rindou wouldn’t say anything else regarding it after that, resorting to intense focus on the movie onscreen, he wouldn’t tell you but the look of hurt that had flashed on your face when you told him had him sinking in guilt.

-He recalled the deep anxiety he found himself sinking into, thinking that you thought the worst of him. He wanted to show you that the 'I love you's' he murmured were truly heartfelt.

-Ran said he was being over dramatic, but Rindou had honestly found no other way to prove to himself and you that he cared for everything you did and said. The warmth that bloomed through his chest at your excited smile was worth every minute he had spent trying to learn a language to connect to you.

That night, Rindou was free of his worries, which had all been soothed by your smile.

BAJI KEISUKE ::

-Listen, he is proud of you. He thinks that you're deservedly the smart one in the relationship, maybe the one smart person he will sit and listen to all day.

-When he heard from a friend of yours that you spoke four languages he was genuinely amazed, exclaming to you later on just how amazing and impressive that was.

-You even slowly began to realise that he was picking up on common phrases you used, his eyes would gleam over with pride whenever you said a single word, instantly bookmarking it for another day.

-To someone else it might have seemed like Baji was the multilingual one, but no he was just hyping you up every minute he could.

-It actually ended up being helpful as you helped him with language studies, he thought your methods were better than the teachers anyways.

-Baji was always motivated to do better by you and his desire to keep his mother happy, so motivated he found himself studying voluntarily, shocking the Toman members so badly to the point that you actually received a frantic call from Mikey asking if you had drugged Baji.

-You regularly answered multiple random questions from him, most of them were things like 'alright how do you say you're beautiful?' only to repeat your words with a cheerful grin, making you laugh at his cheesy techniques.

-Baji, despite all his wholesome actions, was also the first person to ask you for every possible curse in every language you spoke, grinning enthusiastically as you nervously recited words you wished you didn't know.

-Actually Baji even learnt curses you didn't know existed, saying that he was "merely deepening his knowledge"

-But all in all, Baji loves you and all your 'random mumbo jumbo' as he calls it. He's never been so proud to love a girl before, and he apologises for all the random questions he cursed you with.

---------------------

A/N : im sorry for how long this turned out. I got to Rindou and kinda got carried away, anyways first fic I hope you liked it! Reblogs and likes much appreciated 💖

[wonderwomanfantasy]

Married but looking

no one asked for this I'm just on that Hanamaki Brain rot.

Hanamaki x Fem!Reader

warnings: smut, cam boy au, sex work, pantie smelling/ stealing, mentions of the economy, swearing,

Word count: 3,300 (about)

summary: Whoever said you needed to be in love to get married? In this economy who can even afford to get married for love? so technically speaking you are taken but when has that stopped anyone?

“I had a really good time with you Tonight,” Erik said, running his fingers through his hair, fussing with his messy blonde waves. He was looking at your mouth. You wondered if he’d kiss you now. 

“You’re smart and pretty, you’re funny and we have a lot in common, you’re everything I could ever want from a girl,” he said, “I gotta know, how’d I get so lucky? What baggage made you think we were on the same level, what’s wrong with you? Because right now I think you’re perfect.”

Your smile fell. 

“That’s a hell of a way to end a date,” you said evasively.

“Don’t be shy, I don’t scare easy,” he teased and reached out and circled his arm around your waist pulling you close and making you melt a little. He was going to kiss you. 

“Well as long as you promise not to run away,” you teased back, smoothing your hands up and down his chest. he deserved to know. you decided. it wasn't like he wouldn't find out eventually. 

“Legally speaking I’m married.”

Erik promised to call you after he dropped you off at your apartment. He never did. 

“Taka- Taka- TAKAHIRO,”

“What?” Hanamaki called back finally.

“Where my good dress?” you called, trying to follow his voice to find him. He helped you and stuck his head out of the walk-in pantry

“Black or Blue?” he asked. 

“Blue,” You decided after thinking for a moment.

“Still in the laundry room, it’s hanging on the back of the door,” he answered.

“Another date tonight?” he asked and you sighed, instead of going to the "laundry room" (a hall closet you'd managed to shove a washing machine into) you went into the kitchen to talk to your roommate.

“I figure sooner or later I’ll find a nice guy,” you said with a shrug.

“Hmm he better be more than nice if he gets to see you in the blue dress,” Hanamaki quipped back, which made you smile. He always made sure to tell you how good you looked, even when you were just walking around in old sweats.

“Maybe this one will even be willing to overlook the fact that I have a husband.” you sighed.

Your relationship with Hanamaki was unique, to say the least. He had been a good friend in Highschool and for the year he tried college. You would say you were best friends if you weren’t sure Matsun beat you for that position already. And the two of you were, legally speaking, Married. 

It had all happened fast two years ago. Due to events too painful to really reflect on, you were kicked out of your parent's house, with nowhere to go. You worked full time but it still wasn’t enough to afford an apartment close enough to your college campus and also work to walk both places, and you did need to walk. Your car’s engine had given up and you still hadn’t found the time or money to get it fixed. 

It looked like you would be couch surfing, until suddenly you found this place. it was perfect a spacious one-bedroom right in the sweet spot between work and school and it was even cheap enough that you wouldn’t need a roommate to cover everything. With one catch. 

The landlord didn’t rent to single people, though they were too much trouble, and he was only renting to married couples, he was old-fashioned and didn’t believe people should be living together before they were wed. You were desperate, So you grinned and told him that your husband would be there next week to tour the place. 

Hanamaki was also desperate. Desperate to finally move out of his parent’s place. He was sick and Tired of all the nagging to get a real job as if he didn’t pay his share of his bills. 

It seemed too good to be true for both of you, and it was easy, down to the courthouse and married in an hour. The apartment was yours and the two of you settled into an easy routine together. 

You worked in the mornings and had school from noon till nightfall, five days a week. While you were out Hanamaki was a full-time househusband, so to speak. He cooked and cleaned and ran errands for you. Hanamaki also did what he needed to do to pay half of the bills. 

You tried not to think about the black suitcase under his bed and what was in it. You tried not to think about the camera, the ring light, and the lacy panties that sat next to the suitcase under the bed. 

There was nothing wrong with sex work, you were glad he felt comfortable enough to post that thing online. It was only weird to you because it was Hanamaki, you had known him so long the thought of seeing him naked made your stomach turn. 

“If you’re going out tonight I might have Matsun come over,” He said thoughtfully, then asked “will you be home for dinner?”  you frowned. 

“If things go poorly,” you said, Hanamaki seemed to read your face and guess that you thought things would go poorly. 

“I’ll make Nachos, and save enough for you in case you come back hungry,” he said diplomatically. 

“Thanks, that’s sweet,” you knew firsthand how hard it would be to Keep Matsun from eating everything in sight, but that he would do it, you were grateful. 

“Of course, anything for my pretty wife, now go get ready for your date.”

You were back home less than an hour after you left for your date. Matsun hadn’t even had a chance to steal your food yet. Neither of them said anything as you stormed in, they both just winced and let you stomp into the bathroom ten minutes later you emerged with your makeup scrubbed off and dressed in gym shorts and one of Hanamaki’s tank tops. 

“What-”

“Let me fucking tell you what happened-” you shouted. Wedging yourself onto the couch,

At first, you thought your date had just stood you up, then an older man came up, slightly out of breath, and apologized for being late, and you came to realize, it wasn’t his picture online that you’d seen, but his son. Worst of all he was still wearing his wedding ring when he came to pick you up. 

“Yikes,” Matsun said, he was eyeing your plate and wondering how hard you would smack him if he tried to take from it. 

“What kind of psycho uses a picture of his son? I mean I get not using your picture, well no that’s still fucked but, your son,” Maki said 

“I just turned around and walked back,” you sighed. 

“Look on the bright side, Nachos are still warm,” Maki spoke. 

“Nachos are still warm,” you repeated, 

You were sick of being single. You hadn’t gotten laid in months and you hadn’t had a serious long-term relationship since you’d gotten married. You shot a glance sideways at Matsun, maybe some of his mortician friends were single. 

You had a love-hate relationship with Saturdays, on the one hand, with no work and no school you were free to do whatever you wanted, which was a rarity for you. On the other hand, Saturdays were when Hanamaki did most of his work. 

You were sitting in the living room with your headphones in as you tried to read with your music cranked up way too loud, you didn’t want to hear the transition between him setting up and him starting the stream. 

Worst of all, you were horny. Not because he was in the other room jerking himself off for all he was worth. It was just bad timing that was all. You fidgeted in your seat uncomfortably, trying to ease the tension between your legs without outright toughing yourself.

It was one thing for Hanamaki to fuck himself silly in the bedroom, his activities remained strictly on his bed, the couch was a communal space, it would be wrong. not that Hanamaki wouldn’t mind, you argued with yourself. It wasn’t like you would be making a mess, then you thought about that mess stuck in your pants. 

Maybe you could just tease yourself, edge yourself until Hanamaki was done where you could take the shower for yourself and really take care of things. That would be okay, right? 

You didn’t think you could take your own frustration whether it was okay or not.  Fuck it. The relief you felt was instant. You let out a small moan then sunk your teeth into your lower lip trying to gag yourself. You switched off your music to switch to pornhub. In that momentary silence you heard Hanamaki Moan loud enough you were sure your neighbors would be complaining. 

What did he look like, you wondered. Was he really good enough that people paid to see it? He monad again and this time he was loud enough that you could make out the words.

“Oh fuck that feels good,”

your clit throbbed against your finger, you wanted to feel good,

Before you knew what you were doing you’d pulled up his website. 

“Oh fuck that feels good,” he moaned again this time straight into your ears through your headphones, Hanamaki was naked on his bed on his knees pointing his hips out and bracing himself with one hand on the bed behind him, his toned, muscular body was on full display pink and blue lights playing over his skin. With his free hand, he fisted his cock. 

You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, the flushed red tip of his cock was beautiful to look at and the size of his dick alone was enough to make your head spin. 

“You like that baby? You like Daddy’s big cock stuffing your little pussy?” Hanamkai grunted tightening his hand around his cock. You couldn’t help it, you started touching yourself, rubbing your clit in fast tight circles as you watched him touch himself. 

There was a stream of comments flooding in on the side of the screen. People paying five bucks a message, just to beg for permission to cum begging him to cum, just telling him how hot he looked. You couldn’t help but shudder, you found yourself matching pace with him, pumping your fingers in and out of yourself at the same rhythm that he stroked his cock. 

You let yourself relax, and really feel the effect of his words and his moans. Before you knew it you were cumming and he was cumming, you could hear the sharp cry of pleasure come in real-time again over your headphones. 

“Fuck,” you said, instantly shutting your phone off. You felt ashamed but that guilt felt misplaced somehow.

You felt like a kid again, when you were in high school meeting Hanmaki and dreaming about kissing him instead of listening to your teachers talk. 

You had been avoiding Hanamaki for weeks now. Every time you looked at him you could just hear him moaning, see his cock straining and bobbing in his fist. You couldn’t meet his eyes let alone form a sentence around him. 

Luckily, with school and work and his work, you didn’t see Hanamaki much anyways, it was easy enough to just text him to leave your dinner in the fridge and not see him for days at a time, even so, Maki was getting suspicious, and eventually, he cornered you. 

“Hey can we talk?” he asked, leaning against the door frame trapping you in the bathroom. Sometimes you forgot how big he was, he took up the whole space of the doorway so you couldn’t just duck around him. 

“Can I at least get dressed first?” you asked clutching your towel to your chest. You were lucky he didn’t barge in on you when you were still in the shower. 

“If I let you go will you just run away and keep avoiding me?” he asked. You winced at being called out so directly. 

“Just- what's up? Did I do something wrong?” he asked quietly. Hurting Maki was almost like kicking a dog, he looked so innocent in his pain. 

“No you didn’t do anything wrong- but I did, at least it feels that way,” you started, before explaining that you had not so accidentally watched him jerk off. 

“Oh that’s it?” he asked with a laugh, 

“Don’t act so chill about this! This is a big thing!” you snapped, glaring at him. 

“Do you want me to be mad at you?” he asked confused 

“No but-”

“Then I don’t know what the problem is, it’s okay don’t feel guilty about it, and stop avoiding me,” he reached forward and flicked your forehead, more as a punishment for being silly than anything else. 

You couldn’t help but squirm under his gaze, still embarrassed. 

“I mean Matsun watches my shit all the time it’s no big deal really,”  he assured you again. 

“Wait- Matsun watches your porn?” you asked disbelievingly he just shrugged,

“He likes to watch the chat, anyways what do you want for dinner?” 

And finally, Hanamaki let you go to get dressed. For a little while, things were normal between you and your roommate/friend/husband, but the underlying issue hadn’t changed. 

You still couldn’t get a date to save your life, and your body was aching with need. worst of all Hanamaki was just out of reach looking more tempting by the day and never more than a few feet away when you were feeling needy. 

He wasn’t mad that you watched his videos once, would he be upset if you made it a habit? Matsun watched his videos often, but Matsun wasn’t getting off to them. 

You could hear him, moaning loudly through the walls as you tried to change laundry loads. Normally Maki took care of your dirty clothes but you’d dropped mustard on your good pants and well. He was busy. 

“Oh baby just like that, you’re so fucking good,” he cried out sharply and you felt warmth blossom in your stomach. Fuck it. 

You pressed your back to the wall of the laundry room and slid to the floor. You pulled out our phone and tuned in. 

He was using a fleshlight on himself, his cheeks were red and he had his lip trapped between his teeth. 

“Fuck baby look at me, I love it when you watch me,” he whimpered his hips shuddered as he bucked forward into the toy. 

You slipped your jeans off and started touching yourself you pushed your fingers in and out of yourself keeping time with his thrusts. 

You watched him and tried to keep your own moans down. Something about the way he was looking at the camera felt intimate like he was looking right at you. 

Then he reached behind him and pulled out a pair of your panties. They weren’t your favorites, but you knew they were yours. Your mouth fell open as you watched him bring the underwear to his face and breathe in deeply. 

“Fuck baby,” he moaned against the fabric and started fucking the fleshlight faster. “You smell so good baby I want to fuck you so bad,” he grunted. He was talking to you, he wanted to fuck you. 

Maybe it should have bothered you more that your roommate had stolen your panties and was jerking off with them, but you didn’t care. Your fingers moved faster and faster against your clit. You wanted to go to him now, but the fact he was streaming this to thousands stopped you.

Oh fuck, he was smelling your panties live, and people were watching him do it.

“Oh fuck baby, fuck-” he thrust up one last time and came thrusting deep into the toy. He groaned and the show clicked off. 

You were alone with your thoughts again, feeling deeply unsatisfied, your clit throbbing against your fingers. Without thinking you marched to your shared bedroom and flung the door open 

“Woah!” Hanamaki gasped quickly covering himself with his shirt 

“What the fuck was that?” you demanded. 

“What was what?” he snapped back, still obviously shook that you had walked in on him. 

“Why were you jerking off while smelling my underwear!” you shouted and his face went white with realization. 

“You were you uhm saw that?” he asked. You lurched forward and grabbed his face pulling him down into a kiss. 

Hanamaki went rigid for a split second before he kissed you back. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you flush against his body.

It had been so long since you had been kissed, let alone kissed like this. Hanamaki’s mouth was hot against yours you couldn’t help but moan as his tongue slipped past your lips. He pushed you back and you fell onto the bed pulling him on top of you. 

“Did you like watching me?” he asked pressing his lips to your throat. You moaned and tangled your hands in his hair.

“Fuck me,” you whimpered, ignoring his question. 

“Jesus baby give me a minute to catch my breath you just saw me cum,” he laughed helping you out of your clothes. 

“Fuck, I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he hummed running his fingers down your chest raising goose bumps along your skin. 

“Me too,” you admitted, and for the first time, you realized just how badly you really had wanted him to touch you, to look at you as more than a friend. Maki kissed down your body, lingering at your hips and your thighs, his fingers digging into your sides. 

“Can I?” he asked looking down at your sex. 

“Please,” you asked, balling your fists into the sheets beneath you. He was slow in the beginning more just teasing you with his tongue than anything else, as he eased into you with his fingers. 

“I would have thought a pornstar would be more aggressive with this stuff,” you teased. Maki glared up at you. He wrapped his hands around your thighs and hooked both of your legs around his shoulder pushing your hips into the bed and latching his mouth around your clit. 

You saw stars as he started pounding you with his fingers and aggressively sucking on your clit. 

“Fuck baby scream for me,” he moaned, the lower half of his face was drenched in spit, and slick. You hadn’t realized how much noise you’d been making until he pointed it out despite knowing it you couldn’t help the loud noises that escaped you when he went back to making out with your cunt. 

“Fuck I’m going to cum,” you whimpered, just as you warned him he pulled away. 

“Takahiro!” you shouted, he grinned at you goofily 

“Be patient you brat, I thought you wanted me to fuck you,” he teased, lining his cock up with your entrance. 

“Fuck,” he moaned easing into you. 

“Better than your toy?” you asked, wrapping your hands around his neck and pulling him into another kiss, tasting your slick on his mouth. 

“I wished it was you, every time,” he whispered, you weren’t expecting his answer to set a fire in your chest but suddenly you were squirming with embarrassment. But then he started thrusting and you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything else. 

“Fuck just like that,” you moaned tugging at his hair and arching your back off the bed. 

“Fuck baby when you tighten around me like that,” he sighed, dropping his mouth to your neck and kissing your throat. 

“Make me cum,” you pleaded kissing him harshly before he could answer. 

Hanamaki reached between your legs and started stroking your clit in time with his thrusts. It didn’t take long for you to cum, your hips spasming against his. 

He paused letting you catch your breath. 

“Was that good?” he asked. 

“Yes,” you gasped, “but you didn’t-” he cut you off before you could complete the thought. 

“No, but I have you now, and we have all the time in the world.”

[showtoonzfan]

For Father’s Day, the official Helluva Boss account has revealed Stolas’s father, PAIMON.

https://twitter.com/impmurderpros/status/1538620179390664705?s=21&t=OlwXlsd23CeHd6x9OFptiw

Before I get to the actual Paimon in demonology, let’s talk about this alone. First of all, the animation is cool as shit, I’ll admit. I love how you can see him transforming into multiple things, it’s nice to look at! I’ll also say that his design isn’t bad! First of all, I’m glad that he ACTUALLY looks like a damn OWL unlike Stolas, so there’s that, in fact, mans looks more like Stolas than STOLAS does. I’m also digging his color palette! It’s nice to see other colors than red, and brown and orange actually go well together in my eyes! (Though it wasn’t the best idea to put him in a brown background.) While I wish we could have seen the full body to get a look at the design, it’s not bad. Now of course, even though I say it’s not bad, I think they could have done a little more. What?….y’all weren’t expecting nitpicking? Y’all must not know me lol. Even though I like the owl look, he’s just an owl with a crown and that’s it. (And I’m talking about his normal look, so the other forms he turns into doesn’t count) perhaps they could have added symbols on his mask, or make his crown look more unique, or his cloak. I’m nitpicking though, it’s similar to my opinion on Vaggie’s redesign, where it wasn’t by any means bad, but they could have done more.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to the actual Paimon in demonology, then I’ll discuss my thoughts on that, as well as what it could mean for the show! So for those who don’t know, “Paimon”, is a demon king who is part of the Ars Goetia. This is his original depiction:

((Piamon (also known Paymon, Bayemont) is the Ninth Spirit, a great king (governs 200 legions), and the most loyal to Lucifer. He has the power of air and is known as the Host of Spirits. He is the teacher of all arts, sciences, and hidden secrets. He used to be a Dominion angel. Paimon is depicted as a man with an effeminate face (a strong man with a woman's face according to other scholars), wearing a precious crown, and riding a dromedary. Before him often goes a host of demons and ghouls with the shape of men, playing trumpets, cymbals, and any other sort of musical instruments. He has a great voice and roars as soon as he arrives, speaking in this manner for a while, until the conjurer compels him and then he answers clearly the questions he is asked. It is said that Paimon is an extremely unrelenting opponent, in both his manipulation and hostility towards humans. He maliciously inflicts severe psychological, physical and spiritual torment upon his victims, including reconstruction of traumatic events, as well as horrifying visions and nightmares. Paimon is full of energy. Loud noises and bright lights tend to make him more active. He can also be surprisingly very colorful and very friendly. Out of all the Goetia demons, Paimon has some of the strongest loyalties to Lucifer. He has an unnaturally loud voice and when continuing speaking at such ear-splitting volume the summoner has to command Paimon to alter his speech in order to understand him.))

Of course, Viv’s depiction of him is different, so let’s discuss that, as well as some of the issues I have. Of course I want to say that like I said before, Viv’s version of demonology characters doesn’t EXACTLY need to be 100% like the original depictions. They are HER characters after all, and in this version, Paimon is an Owl demon who is related to Stolas. Still of course, I do have my worries and issues. The main and most important one is……well why make Paimon Stolas’s father??? This might come of as nitpicking, but it feels…..random. Sure, both demonology characters are fallen Angel’s and teachers, but there’s no real reason to make them related. In fact, someone like Paimon would fit for more of a tutor or associate for Stolas rather than his biological father, but that’s just my opinion. Usually when it comes to Viv’s demonology characters, they always feel like they’re who they are for no reason other than it’s hell. Viv changes the personality and look of the character anyway, and she never even USES said character to their occupation or more to speak, potential. The only reason I say all of this is that I’m scared that Paimon won’t be used to his full potential either. It’s ironically similar to my criticism with Stolas, where YES, he’s “Stolas”, but everything that the original Stolas represented isn’t really there. Sure, he has a book and seems to have an astronomy aesthetic, but like I said before, it’s more of a background thing, whereas the character UPFRONT is just this horny gay guy and that’s it. While his book contributes to the story, part of the problem is that we still don’t KNOW what his job is, or even how he rules as a prince or his duties, so instead we’re just stuck with the character who is labeled as Stolas, but in reality he could have been replaced with an original royal character instead of a demonology one. I’m afraid that’s going to happen with Paimon, where Viv is just….“yeah this is THE Paimon”, but just slap another character who has either a swearing ego or is your typical evil not understanding father. Of course, yes…I KNOW season 2 isn’t even out yet, and the first episode actually SEEMS to be finally leaning into what exactly Stolas does, what his job and occupation as a ruler is etc, but I sincerely hope everything is done for a REASON. Show us why Paimon is Stolas’s father, show us why another demonology character like Andrealphus is his brother in law, etc. I just don’t want these characters to be who they are for no reason ya know? As a writer, almost everything needs to happen for a reason. Even if the depiction is different, there’s a chance to deep dive into what this Paimon does and how he influences Stolas. I really hope we get some good lore of course, and since this episode MIGHT be a flashback, I hope it isn’t vague or background lore like what we’ve been getting in season 1.

Finally, what could this mean for the show?

Well, I’m assuming since Paimon is mostly known for teaching art, science, and having knowledge of all earth, he will teach that to Stolas, hence he will probably be the one to provide him this book. For Viv’s version, it’ll probably be a multiple generation thing, where Stolas gets the book, and then it’ll be his responsibility to lend the book to his offspring in the future. Due to that, I’m certainly wondering what they’re going to do with Paimon, what HIS job and occupation is, aka his purpose as another royalty member since here, both him and Stolas aren’t fallen Angel’s. When it comes to the book, the obvious question is what you DO when you are given it, so I sincerely hope that question will be answered in this episode. There’s so many, what Paimon does, why he needs to lend his offspring the book, whats his view on the occupation he has and how he sees Hell’s class, how STOLAS feels about these duties, what is the book’s purpose to this world of hell, why choose the members of the Ars Goetia as characters, there’s just a LOT of questions, and it certainly doesn’t help that the lore itself we get in the show is always vague or crumbs of information. We don’t even KNOW what Stolas’s job is, so it’s kinda hard to theorize what this could mean for him, especially since the book itself (for now) feels more like a portal plot device than anything else. Obviously I’m assuming his father will teach him about earth, astronomy, and how to be a good ruler of course. There’s potential for Paimon to be interesting, since he is depicted as “surprisingly being friendly ”, it would be cool for him to be that character that acts and seems very gentle and nurturing, but is actually very manipulative and a monster that you wouldn’t want to mess with deep down……BUUUUT I don’t think that’s what we’re ganna get. You all knew this was coming, but despite everything I’ve said, I’m not expecting a lot, more like the bare minimum. Like the critical fandom has already said, Paimon will probably be your stern, mean, controlling abusive father you’ve seen a million times in other films and tv. He’ll of course probably be prejudice and who could forget HOMOPHOBIC, not understanding of his son and just that old mean mentor who goes “Son, you must be fit to rule, son, you must take this job seriously, son you can’t show weakness, son, those below us are weak”— all that jazz. I also have the feeling he won’t be subtle at all too, like the writers are instantly going to make him mean and cruel upfront to prove he’s a dick. I’m afraid he’s just going to be ANOTHER pawn, a character in Stolas’s life that’s worse than him so the audience can sympathize and feel bad for him, and I’m sick of the writers doing this. It doesn’t help that season 2 has yet to show Andrealphus, ANOTHER character who’s whole purpose is likely to be mean to the uwu owl birb so we can feel more bad for him. I hate how predictable everything feels, I can already SMELL this episode just existing to show how “sad” his life as a baby was, and how abusive his father is and there’s just no fun in it. My expectations are VERY low for Paimon, he’ll probably just be a controlling father who wants to keep to the social norms (without explaining properly what said social norm is like) and as for the lore with the book and the occupations, I doubt much will be done with it. Viv will probably just be vague again and move on to the next thing without showing or explaining properly how anything works, but…..we’ll see.

This episode of course has potential to be really interesting, I actually wouldn’t mind it being a full on flashback episode, just young Stolas and his father teaching him the ways (it would also a breath of fresh air to get away from our annoying main imp characters sorry not sorry) but yeah, my expectations are still low. I sincerely do hope season 2 is better than season 1, cause season one is just BURSTING with issues (expect more posts on that soon!) but as long as Viv and Brandon are on the writers team, I’m not expecting much. We don’t know what will happen in the future, but all I can pray for is that it’s an improvement from the first season. 😬

[sugarbooger513]

Mine (Stepbrother!ChosoxFem!Reader)

This is my collaboration piece for @severelytalentless Are You Afraid of the Dark collab! I had a lot of fun writing this... work. I hope you guys enjoy it! Thank you to my very amazing friends who helped me out during this piece, especially my wifey @kentosovertime and my bestie @roughwithfluff. It wouldn't have ended up as well written as it did without the help.

Warnings: stepcest, possessive nature, unprotected sex (wrap your willies), oral (fem receiving), spit, Choso slaps reader in the face like once, he also slaps in another place, daddy kink, dom Choso, Choso is very petty, mentions of cheating ex, mentions of alcohol and nicotine consumption, degradation, praise, slight breeding kink if you squint

"Don't bother calling me anymore! I see what's more important to you.." You hang up your cell phone and throw it across the room. Your bed feels colder than it usually does, but you lay on it anyways, allowing your tears to flow onto your pillow.

Your boyfriend, now ex, of two years had called you with a plea, begging for your forgiveness. How could you forgive him, though? When you heard about your best friend sleeping with him, you couldn't get the image out of your head. You knew she thought he was attractive, but there was never a worry in your mind that either of them would take it anywhere.

You sit up, suddenly realizing that he would be on his way home from work in an hour, maybe two. You had to leave before he got home. It wasn't like you feared he would hurt you for leaving him, but he would certainly try to guilt you into staying with him.

Your heart rate increases when you realize that you have no idea where you can go. He knows all of your family, and is pretty loved by all of them. Your stepmom even has the habit of calling him her son. 'Her son...'

You rush to grab your phone, dialing the all too familiar number. If there's one person in your family you can call, it's the one he's scared of.

"Y/N," your step brother lets out a long yawn after answering, "what's up?" "B-bubs.." You can hear him drop something on his end. "Honey, why are you crying?" "He.. he cheated on me.. with her.. you were right.."

Choso bites the inside of his cheek, suddenly enraged at the thought. He never liked that guy. When they first met, Choso punched him in the jaw for being an asshole. You were mad at him at the time, but eventually understood why he did it. Since then, your ex was too scared to look Choso in the eyes.

Still, he now finds himself smiling.

"I'm so sorry, honey. Is there anything I can do?" Your sniffle makes him clench his fist. "He's going.. to be home s-soon." "Drive over here. I'll set up the guest-" "C-can you get me..? I don't want him tracking my car.."

Your pitiful voice goes straight to his crotch. Even though no one else is at his home, he finds himself trying to conceal his half hard cock with the kitchen counter.

"Of course, honey. Pack a bag. I'll be there in twenty." "I-I love you, Choso.. thank you." He has to bite his lip to keep from moaning. "I love you too, honey."

When he hangs up, he groans loudly and places his head on the cool marble. "Okay," he talks to himself aloud, "just.. keep yourself in control. You got this, Choso. She's your step sister, for Christ's sake." He shakes his head, grabbing his keys.

Still, he can't deny the things you do to him. It makes him feel terrible, but you're so damn tempting. He always figured that your hugs would last a little too long, your eyes scanned him a little too much, your hands lingered on him a little too suggestively.

He knew better, though. Your teenage years were spent on tons of dates with guys who were the complete opposite of your stepbrother. He would sit in his bedroom, no doubt on a video game, while he listened to guy after guy go in and out of your bedroom. It wasn't like you were a whore.

Those guys just eventually showed their true colors.

He knows that when you love, you love with your entire heart. That's why he was there for you through every heartbreak. He would hold you for hours, dry your tears with his own shirts, make you your favorite snacks, take you on long walks so you weren't cooped in the house all day.

Why? Well, because in his mind you already belonged to him.

You pace your living room, already holding your overnight bag in your hand. Of course, you'll probably stay with Choso more than one night, unless your dad tells you to stay with him and your stepmom instead.

Who are you kidding? If Choso offers to let you stay longer, you would much rather stay there.

Your front door opens, and you jump in fear that your ex came back early. "Shhh, honey it's me." "C-Cho.." Choso walks across the room in quick strides to pull you into his strong embrace.

His hands gently cradle you against his body. "He doesn't deserve your tears Y/N. Don't give him the satisfaction." "Y-you tell me that after every breakup, Choso.." "I know. That's because none of them deserve your kindness."

You close your eyes and feel yourself relax in his strong arms. He's never let you down. Choso has been the only guy in your life to prove he would always be there for you. You truly trust him with your life.

That being said, you can't ignore the feelings that have formed over the years for your stepbrother.

Your fingers grip his shirt in an attempt to pull him even closer to you. He sighs softly and buries his face in your hair. "Is there anything I can do for you, Y/N?" "Just... don't leave me. Please?"

His heart pounds in his chest at your feeble plea. His throat seems to dry, so he can't manage to speak. Finally, after what feels like an hour, he clears his throat.

"You know I won't, Y/N. I never have." "And never will?" His large hands squeeze your body a bit harshly, but your breath only increases at the feeling.

"I never will. Now, why don't we get you loaded into the car and get you home?" You finally pull away, blinking your still teary eyes at him so innocently. "Home..?"

The look on your face has his body on fire. You look so damn innocent, just like an angel. They're still red and puffy from your crying, but that only has him straining in his pants.

The things he would give to take the innocence from your face this second..

"Of course. My home is yours for as long as you need." He jingles his keys in an attempt for you to hurry and follow.

"What.. what about as long as I want..?"

That sentence has him blushing furiously. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course. You're family and I love you, so my home is yours. We should go though. I don't want to-" His sentence is cut short when you wrap your small arms around his frame.

"Cho.. you're the only person in my life that cares this much.." "Don't say that, princess. You know that isn't true." His large hands are so gentle as they rub your back comfortingly. The small action has your heart pounding.

It also has your core burning for more.

"I-I want to stay with you." "Princess, then why are we still here?" There's a hint of laughter in his teasing tone. "I mean.. stay with you." You bury your face in his broad chest, hoping desperately that he gets the hint.

And oh boy does he ever. He can't help the small groan that escapes his throat at the mere thought.

"Y/N.. you don't mean that." You finally look up, shocked at the tint of rosiness on his usually pale cheeks.

"I-I do mean it.. You're the only guy who has ever-" "I'm family." "Not blood. D-Don't act like you don't feel the same Choso!" His eyes widen, and your accusation has him backing away from you, causing your hope to falter. Had you been mistaken this entire time? Had the stares and lingering touches really just been his own way of showing platonic affection.

"Choso.. I-" "Am I truly that obvious, Y/N?" You blink once, twice before giggling softly. "Y-yeah.. have I not been?" "No. Your.. attention always seemed to be on others. I just assumed.. you saw me as your big brother." You shake your head, walking slowly to stand directly in front of him again.

You've always thought his eyes were gorgeous, a slight grey tint over the almost golden color, they truly are their own unique shade, but right now they seem even brighter.

"I.. I was scared. People would.. call us freaks if anything came of any attraction to each other. I mean.. we've known forever that we weren't related, but our parents have been married-" "Going on ten years now. Even dated for five years before that. Trust me," his hand reaches to touch your cheek gently, as if he's afraid he could break you, "I've been bouncing the pros and cons in my head for so many fucking years."

Your cheek fits so easily in his palm, as if it was made to be there. "So.. who gives a damn about the cons anymore?" His eyes darken at your words, suddenly not focused on your gaze, but your lips. "I don't think I do, Princess." He suddenly turns the two of you, pressing your body into the wall that was originally behind him.

His lips hover centimeters over yours, making you whimper pathetically. "Tell me what you want. I'll give it to you, Y/N." His lips turn at the corners, making the already handsome guy seem even more so. Your hands reach out, gripping the loose t-shirt he's wearing tightly. "I-I need you, Cho. P-please?"

"Well, why don't we take this little.. fiasco to my place?" "No." He tilts his head in confusion as you smirk. "Fuck me on his bed.. onii-chan."

His lips are on yours the instant that word leaves your mouth. Despite the fact you're almost certain that Choso doesn't know what lip balm is, his lips are so plush and soft. It catches you off guard, causing you to moan softly in his mouth.

He isn't shy about exploring your body either. His hands grab every bit of plushness they can. Your hips, thighs, ass, until he finally reaches your breasts. His hands squeeze them harshly, not caring about any actual pain he could bring. You gasp in the kiss, which allows his tongue to finally invade your mouth, easily taking over as the dominant one.

He tastes faintly of cheap wine and cigarettes, but that doesn't shock you. You've spent multiple nights in his room smoking and drinking after rough breakups.

You have to smack at his shoulder a few times before he pulls away, leaving a strand of saliva connecting the two of you. He lets out a deep growl before grabbing your arm to yank you upstairs.

He kicks the bedroom door open, not caring about possibly busting the damn thing. "I have waited for so fucking long," he shoves you onto the queen sized bed that you once shared with your ex, "to have you all to myself. Now that I have you..." He pulls the shirt over his head, causing your eyes to shamelessly wander over his toned body. He catches your gaze, causing him to lick his bottom lip in anticipation. "Oh I am never letting you out of my grasp now, little one."

You sit up and, without a second thought, throw your shirt off and into the floor. "A bit possessive, are we?" He chuckles a bit darkly. "I don't see you complaining. Besides," he rips your pants off in one fluid motion, purring at the dark spot already staining your panties, "it seems you know who you belong to." His head is almost instantly between your legs, his hands shoving your thighs open effortlessly.

He licks a long stripe up your covered slit, causing you to mewl. "Go ahead, princess, tell me exactly who owns you." This time he places a small kiss just over your clit. "F-fuck, you!" "Hmmm," his hand comes down to smack your pussy with an unnecessary amount of force. "Not good enough. Try again." He lands another smack, this one making tears prick your eyes.

"W-what do y-you want-" you cry out as he lands two more smacks on you. The pain is startling at first, but it quickly has you moaning in pleasure. "How about that fun little nickname you've given so many men that have entered your bedroom?" You squeak, making him chuckle. "Oh come on, there's no way you thought I never heard you. Always had the fucking nerve," another smack, this one even harder, "to cry out for other men while I was in my bedroom dreaming of making those pretty eyes cry in my bed. Come on, call me that sweet little name and I'll fuck you better than any of those assholes could have."

The last smack has you screaming, and you can't seem to care that any of your neighbors could hear. "D-Daddy! Y-You own me! I-it's always been you, I swear daddy! P-Please fuck me, I-I need it!"

He groans loudly before ripping your panties from your body. "I'll have to remember that you beg beautifully once I get you home." Two of his fingers spread you apart, and he smirks at the puddle of essence already pooling on the bed. "So fucking wet for me, aren't you?" He doesn't give you a chance to answer before he buries his face in you, eating you out like a man starved.

The sudden onslaught of pleasure makes you try and clamp your thighs closed, but one of his hands shoves it back down. His eyes look up at you as he continues to lap at your drooling pussy. The stare speaks every word he can't at the moment.

This is for his pleasure, not yours, and you're meant to lay back and take what he's giving you.

Your fingers tangle in his raven hair, and the slight pain has him growling against you. His lips wrap around your throbbing clit, sucking harshly, and he shoves two fingers into you without any warning.

You knew beforehand that Choso had slept with at least a few women, so he's not inexperienced, but you never knew that he was this experienced. His long fingers curl into you, pushing against the spot that has you screaming his name to the heavens. He has to rut against your mattress in a desperate attempt to get some sort of relief.

"D-Daddy.. I-I'm g-gonna cum.." He could already tell. Your walls sucked his fingers in as soon as they entered you, so he knew you wouldn't last much longer. "Hmmm," his sharp teeth nip your clit gently, but it still makes you squeak, "I sure hope you aren't telling daddy what you're going to do.. That would be awfully rude of you, little one."

The sheer dominance and control radiating from him has your eyes rolling in the back of your head. Since when was your sweet step brother so demanding? "C-can I please cum, daddy? I-It feels t-too good.." You feel that damn smirk against your clit. "Of course, baby. Just scream my name when you do it, okay?"

He really must not like you talking much, because he doesn't let you answer him before he starts ruthlessly pounding his fingers into your cunt. Your entire body arches from the bed as you cry out for him. It takes one last flick of his tongue on your swollen bud to have you writing in the bed, coming completely undone before he even pulled his pants off.

He slows down, but doesn't completely stop, allowing you to ride out your high as he uses his tongue to lap up every drop of sweetness pouring from you. "Good girl, I've got you sweetheart. Are you feeling up for more, or do you need to stop until we go home?"

He sits up, eyeballing your form as he licks his lips clean, ignoring the fact he's dripping your own cum from his chin onto you.

You giggle, still a bit spaced out from the intense orgasm. "W-want you.. inside me, please daddy?" He chuckles softly before reaching to finally unhook your bra and fling it to the side. "Of course baby. Where are your condoms?" "D-Don't have any. I'm on.. the pill." His cheeks flush a bit, but he doesn't question anything else.

He makes quick work of his sweatpants, leaving him in only his boxers. The outline of his cock alone has you snapping back to reality. When he pulls the boxers down, you outwardly moan when it slaps back against his abdomen. He's much bigger than any guy you've had before. Also, it's so.. pretty.

The shaft is a lot like the rest of his skin, a very pale color that almost shines if sunlight hits it. The head is a soft pink, very reminiscent of the blushes he always seemed to get if you teased him too much, with droplets of precum around it. A large vein runs from the underside of it, and you can see it actually throb the more he stares at you.

"See something you like, love?" You whimper at the very affectionate nickname. "I-is it going to fit? I mean.. I've never.." "Don't worry, little one," he gently lays you back, "daddy will get it to fit. If it hurts too much, just let me know. Okay?" he grabs one of your exes' pillows, placing it gently under your lower back. "O-okay, daddy. I trust you."

His smile warms your heart. "That's my good girl. Spread your legs for me." You nod, following his instructions immediately. His hand reaches between the two of you, grabbing his cock and gently rubbing the tip around your entrance. "You sure you want this, Y/N? I don't want you to feel forced." You whimper, nodding instantly. "P-please fuck me, Choso.. I've waited so long.." You spread your legs more, effortlessly enticing him.

When his tip enters you, you're already a moaning mess. It just feels too good. He watches your expressions intently as he slowly pushes into you, searching for any signs of discomfort. Once he's about halfway in, he stops completely.

"How you doin' baby? Any pain?" He leans down to give you a gentle kiss. "G-good. I-it kinda burns, but nothing bad, I promise." He smiles against your mouth and starts to push in again. "We're almost there, little one. Just- fuuuuck." He finally bottoms out, the stretch of it making you whimper loudly and wiggle around. He pants on your face, the scent of you still heavy on his breath.

"S-so fucking tight.. can't believe this is happening..”

He chuckles softly, giving a tentative thrust into your heat. You bite down on your lip, finding both pain and pleasure in the burn that courses through your body. "D-daddy-" He cuts off the rest of your sentence by leaning back onto his knees and grabbing the back of both of your thighs. He manhandles you easily into what you can only assume is a mating press.

"So easy to throw around, aren't you? My pretty baby.." He pulls out of you until only his tip is still inside before slamming back in, causing you to see stars. "You take cock like a pro, baby. I wasn't sure a cute little thing like you could handle it." You tighten around him at his foul language, causing him to growl. "I'm gonna ruin you for anyone else, baby. I'll make sure I'm the only one who can make you scream. You want that, baby? Want daddy to fuck the imprint of his cock into your slutty little hole?"

You throw your head back and cry out for him. "P-please! Make me your little toy, daddy. W-want you to own me.. prove who I belong to, please?" You know you've done it now from the way he snarls at you. However, the sudden ringing of your phone makes both of you freeze. He leans back up to wrap your thighs around his torso.

He's the first to reach to the floor and grab it, still buried deep inside of you. "Oh, lookie there.. a video call. Hello?" Did he-

"Choso? Where is Y/N? Why do you have her phone?" Your ex's voice sounds from the speaker, making your eyes shoot open. You meet Choso's eyes, mouthing the words 'hang up' over and over.

"What does it matter? She dumped you and called me." "Of course she did. Dude, let me talk to her." Choso chuckles darkly, finally thrusting into you, making you squeak loudly despite your best effort to stay quiet.

"What was that?" "Y/N. She's currently.. held up. Or.. down, rather." He smirks at his own joke, reaching down his free hand to start circling your clit with his middle finger. The feeling has you tightening your thighs around his waist.

"You... what?" "Are you deaf and stupid? I said she's busy, aren't you little one?" He smirks down at your form, panting and shaking your head in a desperate, silent plea. This can not be how everyone finds out about this. No way in hell.

Choso's mocking pout makes your face flare up. "She seems a little shy. Let me show you instead." "N-no! Choso I-!" The choking gasp from the phone call shuts you up. Choso's eyes show no mercy as he looks at you almost amused. "That isn't what you should be calling me, is it?"

You look directly at the camera on the back of your phone, your face a deep scarlet color. Before you can correct yourself, the hand that was idly playing with your clit launches up, smacking your cheek with enough force to have your eyes switch to his. He smirks and shoves his index and middle fingers in your mouth without warning, making the ring he wears clack a bit painfully into your teeth.

"Pretty little whore just needs to learn some manners. Don't you, love?" He gets a wicked grin seeing how you blabber around his digits, trying so desperately to behave and give him an answer. "Sorry, princess, I didn't quite hear you. Try again for daddy." He shoves his fingers farther down your throat, causing you to gag and cough. Spit pours out of your kiss bruised lips, making Choso moan above you.

Your teary eyes make him pull his fingers out, wiping the spit across your face. "Why didn't you tell me you couldn't speak? Silly little girl. Now, what should you be calling me?" "D-Daddy! I'm s-so sorry.." He groans, running his thumb down your bottom lip. He gently pries your mouth open before leaning over you, letting spit fall from his tongue into your waiting mouth. He purrs as you swallow it so obediently. "I know you are. You're such a good girl for me. Oh, he hung up." Choso chuckles softly and tosses your phone back to the floor.

"I believe that I have some work to finish, right baby?" Both of his hands grab your hips, surely leaving bruises, before he starts to mercilessly ram into your sopping cunt. Your throat is still somewhat raw from his fingers being in it not two minutes ago, but he's determined to pull every sound he can from you.

He slides one hand down, harshly pinching and rolling your swollen clit between two fingers. Your cries only encourage his ruthless actions.

"D-daddy I-I.. something.. something doesn't-" Your pleas are cut off when the hand on your hip actually lifts you off the bed, giving him enough access for the tip of his cock to batter into your cervix.

If you aren't sore tomorrow, he hasn't done his job.

Sweat drips down his forehead and chest as he growls deeply. "There we go baby. T-that's the spot. Cum for daddy, want you screaming until my name is the only t-thing you know." His hand starts slapping your exposed clit again, finally throwing you over the edge. When the coil in your abdomen snaps, you scream his name, raw throat be damned.

Choso hisses as you tighten around his cock, spraying his lower abdomen in your essence. "Sh-shit I-" His sentence trails off when he thrusts into you one more time, letting out an animalistic snarl as his own climax washes over him.

You can feel his cock throb as he unloads his seed deep inside you. The feeling makes you tremble and mewl. There's so much of it that it still manages to spill out, staining the bed sheets under you.

He's still panting pretty heavily when he slides out of you, careful in case you're still too sensitive. When you squeak, he reaches up to cup your cheek. "You did so well, baby. I'm so proud of you." You nuzzle into his hand, placing a small kiss in the palm. "Th-thank you, daddy. I-I'm so tired." When your eyes start to flutter shut, he carefully stands from the bed, shamelessly admiring your disheveled state. "I'm sure you are. Let me get us cleaned up. Then I'll take you home, okay?"

Your small nod is plenty of an answer, so he rushes to the bathroom to search for a rag. He takes only a few seconds to wipe himself clean before rushing back to your side. You wince slightly at the feeling of the cloth wiping you down. "Shhhh, daddy's got you baby. I'll be done in just a second." He smiles to himself as you visibly relax into his touch, allowing him to finish.

"You know," he chuckles as he helps you pull your clothes back on, "your dad is going to try and kill me." "Your mom is going to call me every name in the book." He nods in agreement, finally starting to dress himself.

"So.. should we stay quiet? I imagine shit-for-brain isn't going to, but we can play that off as him being an idiot." You bite your lip, weighing the consequences of either decision.

There's no doubt in your mind, you want to be with Choso. It's clear he's willing to do whatever you want, but from the look in his eyes, the answer is obvious.

"I'm not hiding it." He blinks at you in shock. "B-baby.. your repu-" You stand up, despite your legs screaming in pain. He's quick to rush over and pull you into his chest. "I don't care.. I love you, and I don't want to hide it anymore." You squeak loudly when he picks you up bridal style, holding you easily with one arm.

The kiss he gives you is soft and loving, full of nothing but his affection for you. "I love you too, Y/N. I want nothing more than to tell the world that."

He carries you downstairs to grab your overnight bag, and then out to put you in his car. He really refuses to let you do anything, since he even leans inside to buckle you up. Your protests have him laughing. "When you're with me," he kisses your lips after getting into the driver's seat, "you're the spoiled princess. Got it?"

The drive to his house is quiet. He holds your hand the entire time, stroking along it with his thumb, occasionally bringing it to his mouth and kissing each knuckle.

"Oh.. oh shit." "What?" You open your eyes from almost falling asleep.

Your blood freezes when you see what he's looking at. Your dad's car is already parked in his driveway.

Tags: @katgalle, @savonline