#i also have an astarion that ones finished thi

[lycazart]

nf but crop of a heisy charm im gonna get made for myself

[astarionancuntnin]

Midnight's Embrace

summary: you can’t recall the last time you had a real, good night of sleep. your fight with the netherbrain is approaching fast and your anxiety is only increasing. halsin proposes to try a special brand of herbs to alleviate your mind. turns out this herb also awoke something else in you.

rating: E

word count: 3k

pairing: astarion x you x halsin (fem!reader)

cw: 18+. smut, porn with no plot, late act 3 business, reader is tav, massage turning into something more, polyamory, reader is sandwiched between her two bfs, recreational drug use, stoned sex, mildly dubious consent due to drug intake (reader & astarion), praise kink, threesome, dry humping, blood/vampire bites, unprotected sex, anal fingering and penetration, double penetration, creampie, aftercare, overall sane safe and as consensual as one can be under the influence.

a/n: taking a smol break from my angsty writing to deliver some smut goodness. hope you enjoy! (i sure did)

a/n²: this is absolutely self-indulgent stuff and i will not be sorry about it. i wish i had two loving boyfriends fucking me while i was high, is that so much to ask

read on ao3

my masterlist

or keep reading down below ~

You can’t recall the last time you had a real, good night of sleep.

Since your arrival in Baldur’s Gate, your nights have been restless, and your anxiety related to your upcoming fight with the Netherbrain has only increased. It’s not uncommon for you to wake up sweating in the middle of the night, panting, and checking your surroundings. You feel as if you’re only one inconvenience away from crumbling and your lovers are worried about you. You keep trying to reassure them that you’ll be fine once the Netherbrain is dealt with, but they won’t hear you out; you’ve only ever taken care of your companions since the start. Everyone has found their peace but you. 

Halsin and Astarion urged you to start to focus on yourself, and you wanted to, but the truth is you had no idea where to start; you were used to taking care of everyone else, your own wellbeing never crossed your mind. One night, after Astarion feeds on you, he mentions how tense you are, and that he would gladly massage your neck to help with the tension you've accumulated. This makes you think about asking your other companions about their own techniques to decompress. Throughout the day, you ask around: “what do you do when you’re stressed out?” Shadowheart mentions that she meditates and stretches, and while it’s not a bad idea, with your mind constantly racing, you doubt you’d be able to easily meditate. Lae’zel mentions practice dueling, which she usually partakes with Wyll, and although it seems to be working for them, you wanna try to avoid more fighting before your upcoming fight. 

That’s when Halsin tells you about the medicinal benefits of some herbs, and how they could help you relax. Although you’ve never tried, you’re open to the idea; you’ll try anything that could potentially ease your night terrors. You spend the next day marching the streets to reach an herb shop. As you enter, a lady greets you cheerfully, offering her help to find you exactly what you need. They offered a great variety of consumables infused with their many strands available : pastries, desserts, drinks and potions, candies; if you could imagine it, they had it. The lady explains the effect each of their products have and their specialities. After looking around, you settle on a cookie with Midnight’s Embrace, a sleep inducing herb. You thank her and head back to the Elfsong for the night.

You finish your meal with the special cookie and soon after, you bid your companions goodnight before fetching your partners to accompany you through the night. After all, you still intend on holding Astarion to his word about that massage he mentioned the other night, and Halsin promised to be by your side as this was your first time consuming something like this.

You had reserved the room with the biggest bed they had, just for this occasion.  You reach for the bed first, lying comfortably on your chest, ready for your long-awaited massage. Halsin is next to join you, removing his shirt to get comfortable before sitting next to you with his back against the headboard, and Astarion joins soon after, kneeling behind you. The pale elf straightens up before laying his hands on your back, wasting no time to work through the knots in your tired muscles. The relief you feel is almost instant.

Halsin combs through your hair, pushing it aside to reveal your blissful face. “How are you feeling?”

“Sooooo good. A massage was the best idea.”

As it turns out, the massage combined with the herb-induced dessert enhanced each other, as the effect of the cookie you ingested earlier had already started settling in. When the lady mentioned they were “fast-acting”, you didn’t expect almost spontaneous-acting. Your skin feels more sensitive – in a good way – but you know that it’s the effect of the drugs, as if every touch was the softest caress you’ve received, and you found yourself leaning in the vampire's strong and graceful grip, only wanting more. As he makes his way to your lower back, a few unconscious moans escape your mouth before you can stop them. 

“I take it that you’re enjoying yourself, then?” Astarion asks, smiling, in response to your moaning.

“It’s just… your hands…” you sigh content, leaning into his touch. “They feel amazing.”

“I'm happy to provide, my love.”

His dexterous hands turn you to putty and you wish you could feel more, every inch of your body yearning for attention. He keeps working on your back while you reach out to Halsin, his much bigger hand holding yours tightly. You slightly turn your head to be able to look at him.

“I… want you to touch me too.”

“Tell me where you need me, my heart.”

“Can you hold me? I want to be held by you two.”

The two men look at each other in understanding before repositioning themselves on each side of you ; Astarion hugging your waist from behind, nuzzling himself in the crook of your neck, and Halsin sheltering you in his arms, his head resting on top of yours.

The effects of the cookie kept getting stronger : you felt lighter, more peaceful and happier, your mind was clear from any lingering anxiety, only taking in the love surrounding you. In the comfort of their arms, you let your hands roam over the archdruid's chest, exploring each crevasse. The drugs made you more sensitive, especially down there, and it doesn’t take you long to feel a familiar warmth pool down to your stomach. You gently rub your thighs together, chasing the feeling growing between your legs, when you feel the man behind you slightly pull away. 

“Hold on, are you–” He raises his head to look down your waist, “Oh, you little devil. You are touching yourself!”

It seems that you had lost all awareness, not realizing your movements were brushing against Astarion’s groin. Your blood rushes to your face and you suddenly feel warm, “I– Gods, I didn't realize–”

He clicks his tongue, “None of that. We're here for you to feel better, remember? Now, tell us, what does your heart desire?”

“I…” You feel bashful for all the thoughts swirling around your mind, unable to speak them aloud: you wish to be taken at once by both of your lovers, having them make you feel whole as they fill you with their love, touch, kiss, bite, every part of your body. Surely, you're influenced by the herbs, but you can't deny that even sober, the thoughts have crossed your mind. The drugs simply allowed them to wander freely and amplify them slightly. 

You finally manage to get a few words out, barely expressing the full extent of your carnal desires, “I want you… Both… to… massage me… everywhere.”

Halsin cups your face softly, kissing your forehead before getting up. “Let's get you comfortable, shall we?”

You nod hazily, and he helps you remove your camp clothing, before removing the rest of his own, leaving you both naked on the bed. While Halsin was helping you dress down, Astarion allowed himself to remove his own shirt, providing you the skin-on-skin you desired from both of them, all the while respecting his own boundaries. Now comfortably nestled between your lovers, you let your hands explore the man facing you. His warmth is overwhelming and you can't stop touching him, languidly going over his chest and shoulders, your concentration faltering.

“I believe our beloved is rather hungry tonight,” Astarion says, smiling.

The archdruid makes eye contact with you, lovingly holding your cheek, “Is this what you want, my love?”

“Yes, please, I've never wanted anything more,” you plead, now with a breathy voice.

Halsin gives you a soft smile and his lips meet yours in a passionate kiss. Your hips buck on their own, brushing over Halsin’s cock already awakening to your touch

Astarion keeps massaging your tits, never letting you go from his embrace and starts kissing your neck.

“Do you like that, my sweet?” He said between two kisses.

“Y- yes… please… more.”

He drags his hand alongside your body, his nails lightly grazing your skin, tracing every curve, every scar and mark on your body, leaving goosebumps in its trail, before landing over your ass.

“Like this?” He asks with a husky voice.

“Yes…” you breathe out.

Halsin follows Astarion's lead, his own hand caressing your side before landing on your thigh, lifting it up to hook your leg around his waist.

“How about this?”

His hand finds its way to your cunt, softly stroking along your entrance.

You sigh content, your hips bucking into him more, trying to make his fingers enter you.

“More…I need more…”

The archdruid slides his finger inside you, giving you exactly what you want and you moan, letting your nails dig in the muscles of his arm. He steadies his rhythm and your hand finds its way in Astarion's hair, pulling him closer to you. His lips reach your ear, guided by your hand.

“By the gods, you're so beautiful,” he says, nibbling on your ear, getting a whimper out of you, as he leaves a trail of kisses down the nape of your neck.

The attention from your lovers makes you squirm under them as every inch of you is yearning for more contact. Halsin rewards your movements by entering you with a second finger and you cry out of pleasure.

“Keep singing for me my love,” Halsin says.

His fingers working your cunt and his thumb rubbing over your clit only awaken something stronger in you.

“Please Halsin, I need you.”

“You will have me, my heart.”

Your other hand reaches for his cheek, forcing him to look into your eyes, “All of you.”

He reads the urgency in your gaze and he removes his finger from you, giving them a taste and humming at your essence.

“By the Oak Father, you taste like the sweetest of honeys, my love.” His voice is deep, but soft; you can hear the admiration he holds for you, your body, your soul, and it only makes you want him even more.

He places his cock at your entrance before slowly pushing in fully, and you hold onto his face, taking in deep breaths as he gives you time to adjust to his size. 

“Look at you…” Astarion whispers close to your ear. “You're taking him so well, my love,” he rewards you by groping your nipples, lightly pinching them in the process.

You arch your back at the sensation, giving him easier access to not only your breast, but your neck as well, and his mouth instinctively finds its way to the familiar spot of his feeding. His cold tongue traces over your pulsating vein, seemingly asking for permission, and yet, you were the one reduced to a pleading mess.

“Please...”

He hums in the crook of your neck and you feel his smile against your skin, “Please what?”

Your chest rises higher with each breath you take “Bite me.”

He holds your head back by lightly pulling your hair and sinks his teeth into your neck. You cry out at the initial sting and quickly get lost in the feeling. The flow of your blood leaving your body is even more ecstatic than usual; as if you could feel the blood in every vein in your body being pulled away as Astarion drank from you ravishingly. Knowing your limits and accounting for the condition you're in, he pulls back earlier than usual, and you whine at the loss of his mouth only to moan more as Halsin finally starts moving inside you. What the vampire hadn’t thought of was the effect your blood was going to have on him, now that it was mixed with the drugs you took earlier. It wasn't rare for him to get hard drinking from you, but he usually dismissed the feeling since you've discussed taking things slow. This time however, his cock felt rock hard and the drugs now flowing through him made him chase the feeling that the fabric rubbing over him was providing.

He grabs your waist, grinding into your back, while Halsin pumps in and out of you with slow strokes. With any restraint gone, Astarion pushes his hips into you, rubbing himself down through his trousers. By now, his need is clearly showcased by the pre-come stain on his pants, and the head of his cock poking out of his waistband, flushed pink by your blood running through it.

Halsin notices Astarion's mood change and he reaches out to hold his face, bringing him back to him, before he can act on impulse.

“Do you want this?”

His eyes are sincere and caring; granted the reasons they're in this situation is for you, but that doesn't undermine their own needs as well. Astarion nods, affirming his consent, before freeing his erection to show his intentions. Now certain that his lover wanted this as much as himself, Halsin made sure you were ready for them.

He cups your face and gently strokes your cheek. As if he had read your mind earlier, he asks, “Do you think you can take us both, my heart?” 

“Yes,” your voice is merely a whisper, but the lust you express is clear nonetheless. 

He removes himself from inside of you to wet his fingers with your juices, only to take them back out to move them down to your tight hole. His finger coated by your slick gently enters your ass and you gasp at the sensation, surprised at first, but welcoming it as you push down against him. He slides a second finger and you moan in pleasure.

“That's my good girl.”

He prepares your hole, making sure you're accustomed to the feeling, then removes his fingers to spit in his hand, now to prepare Astarion for you. He grasps the vampire's length and slowly strokes him. Astarion hisses at the initial contact, but quickly melts into his touch, bucking his hips into Halsin's wet hand. The archdruid aligns his partner's cock at your tight entrance while he positions himself back against your pussy, ready to enter you again. He asks for one final permission.

“Are you ready, my love?” 

With partly lidded eyes, you nod and whisper a faint yes, and he grabs the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss, while his hips and Astarion's thrust into you at once. 

You cry into his mouth, both overwhelmed by their sizes and the friction having both of them at the same time provided, and behind you, the vampire growls, steadying himself inside your ass. Having both him and Halsin inside you like this was a sensation you couldn’t begin to describe. It’s everything you ever wanted, you feel whole, but also vulnerable; you were entirely at their mercy, and you wouldn’t be able to get out from their strong hold on you, especially not in the state you’re in. You're completely helpless, caged between their imposing arms and legs, and yet, you’ve never felt more safe than you do right at this moment. For once, you could let go, let yourself be guided, your life between their hands.

You’re brought back to the moment when they start moving, picking up a slow and steady pace, and you let yourself be used by them; while one pulls out, the other enters you fully. You’re rendered speechless, reduced to moans and soft cries, but your lovers make sure to fill in for your silence.

“You feel so good.” The voice behind you groans close to your ear. His grip on your hips tightens, with his sharp nails lightly digging into your soft skin.

“So deliciously wet, just for us.” A honeyed voice praises you more and you start to lose your hold.

“Gods, you’re so fucking tight.”

“You're doing so well.”

Their words of praise worked like a charm on you, and they knew the effect it had on you. They noticed how you reacted to encouragement on the battlefield, and it applied just as much in bed. 

“My love.”

“My good girl.”

The shock to your mind hits you like lightning. You convulse between them, crying out as electricity runs through you, your walls tightening against their cocks, milking them dry. 

“Ugnnh I'm– ah fuck- I'm close.” 

“Mnh- my heart, I’m gonna come–.”

You're still going through your first orgasm when you feel a second one hitting you brutally as they shoot ropes of come inside both of your holes, leaving you overflowing from them.

The sensation numbs you out entirely, still spasming around their members, but completely spent and breathless. Your mind is blank, with nothing but pure bliss swirling around. As if you were between two worlds, switching from dream to reality, you barely feel your lovers pull out of you and move around, cleaning themselves and you. You think you hear a distant voice saying “let’s get you cleaned up” as you’re lifted up from the bed. You don’t notice Astarion removing the ruined sheet, but too tired of his own to care about replacing it with another, and snuggling back in bed. You’re laid down next to him and you instinctively reach out for him; your hand reaching out for his, laying close to his undead heart, and your forehead leaning over his shoulder. Finally, the archdruid slides behind you, covering you three with a warm blanket, his arm circling over your waist. At long last, you let yourself drift to sleep in his loving embrace.

For the first time in weeks, you get a real, good night of sleep.

~

Thank you for reading! Comments, reblogs, and likes are very much appreciated <3

tag list (comment or message me if you want to be added!): @grimistheangerinmystares @silverfangmarks @roguishcat

[faize-art]

AFTERWARD: OF SWORD & SHIELD (Ch. 1)

Summary: After the fall of the Netherbrain, life continues onward. Only the gang and you have gone your separate ways this time. With everyone off on their own adventures and continued self-discoveries, you learn to embrace your new form while holding onto bits and pieces of your past and former self.

A slice of life novelette following illithid Tav and their journey with the short-worded business flayer, known as the Emperor.

Pairing: The Emperor x Illithid Tav

Word count: 17k

Tags: Slice of life, Suggestive themes, Mild NSFW, Tentacles, Fluff, Possible spoilers, Relationship, No abuse, Consent (all the fucking consent).

Status: COMPLETED (Read on AO3)

-

A/N: Hello, thank you for taking the time to give this novelette a read. It was originally a short story but had somehow gone over its word count (oops).

Despite that small accident, I would like to point out that the scenarios that transpire in this story will take place after defeating the Netherbrain and are heavily placed from my POV and are not all official Baldur's Gate 3 events. Therefore, there will be things said and done that may be unfamiliar with official characters. So, please excuse my limited insight with the massive universe and take this story as a simple indulgence.

On another note, after finishing my first playthrough, I was satisfied with my endgame result but still wanted a bit more. So, I took to my imagination to give closure to my experience. In this case, I will be referring to the main character as “Tav” as it will confuse readers if I were to use my original character’s name (which is the same as my username). This is a Tav and Emperor fanfiction that does hold a mild and intimate moment of NSFW. Thank you.

All rights are reserved and belong to their respective owners. ©

“Hello darling.”

You know that voice, that voice that has sung like a preaching choir from the churches of Selûne and beyond that. Your beady black-like eyes turn to meet their gaze, and their ruby red eyes stare back at you as the two of you are alone.

Astarion. You acknowledge in silent thought while not saying a word in return.

It was obvious as to why he was here. This scenario had already played out in your head ahead of time. Before you agreed to turn into a full-out illithid to conquer the Netherbrain with the Netherstones, and way before that too.

“I have been thinking about…freedom,” he says to you, his voice hesitant and full of deep controversy. “How I am free of Cazador. How I have a whole new life stretching out in front of me.”

You wait silently for him to muster up the courage to express his feelings further.

“And you're—well…what are you?” He questions, the expressive creases encasing his pale, familiar, thin lips frowning in doubt. “Is the person I loved still in there?”

You stare at him for a while, contemplating the questions asked of you and taking in their struggle to make sense of their confusion and their sorrows. Besides, who are you to stop them? Wouldn’t that make you what they despise the most? Another Cazador, all over again, and that was one of many things you would prefer not to be to them.

“I am still me, but I am also more than that. I have evolved beyond the person I once was,” you reply.

“I see,” he accepts your answer, his voice hesitant and his body language fidgety. “…and how does this…newly evolved version of you feel about me? Do you…still want to be together?”

Because you have already prepared yourself for this specific conversation, you do not stumble over your words in front of him.

“What do you want?” You earnestly ask of him.

He sighs lightly, and his silver brows furl ever so slightly. “I don’t know. It is a big change. And as much as I care for you…I don’t know. Maybe…it’s better if we are friends for now?”

You watch him fumble with his words some more. He was always bad at expressing himself when it came to sensitive things, such as this, but seeing him muster up the courage to mutually settle things with high vulnerability was also satisfactory progress for him. It was better than him simply disappearing from you—not that you would be surprised by such an outcome.

“You’re precious to me, and I don’t want to lose you, but this is a lot,” he confesses. “Perhaps we will adjust. Perhaps we will not. But you mean too much for me to walk away.”

You take it all in. His words. His confusion. His worries. His everything. And you bask in every remaining second with Astarion that you still have before mutually agreeing to part ways.

“I would like that,” you softly say to him.

He looks at you with concealed surprise, as if he were expecting there to be more of a struggle than an upfront and unruffled response. “So, would I. And I hope we can find some place for love in our new—whatever this is. But even if we can’t, I will never forget the person you were. I will never forget what you did for this world. And what you did for me.”

Silence. You cannot bring yourself to say anything else after witnessing the muscles on his pale face turn into deep grief, upheld by a false and delicate smile he has a bad habit of doing when hiding his pain.

“Thank you, my love.” His voice but a faint whisper filled with layers of heartache.

***

While the city of Baldur’s Gate was once again under unending construction, seeing the formidable workforce of each Baldurian hard at work brings to you a sense of closure. After everything prior, the team and you did not traverse through such hardships for no mere reason. And even if you no longer looked the same as before—a High Elf druid with back-length dark-emerald hair and vibrant forest green eyes—you still hold your former memories at heart, or at least it seems that way.

The loud and unending commotion of the lively city surrounds you as you briskly loop in and out of alleyways, your signature high-ponytail and dark-emerald hair bouncing to the motions of your fluid movement as you skim past the many bustling bodies moving onwards with their day-to-day routines. In the blink of an eye, a time span of six months has passed by. Just yesterday, it felt like the tenacious team, and you had ventured forth High Hall to slay the Netherbrain.

It is funny how time is a meager thing. You ponder to yourself as you enter a newly built manor with ease, high spike-tipped fencing surrounding the building, and its land.

Not only that, but you have grown comfortable with your illithid form, and you have learned to further embrace it. However, the thought of you taking your own life if you were ever to lose yourself, at the slightest, still hangs at the back of your ever-growing mind while you continue to evolve and commune with entities unique and wondrous. Despite that lingering reminder, the Emperor and you had agreed to rebuild and run the Knights of the Shield together, and the gradual growth of the guild has been proving itself fruitful as you jointly network your influence and plans. Although, as of late, the Emperor's ambitious regime has been hectic with no signs of leisure. Often, he would leave the city of Baldur’s Gate for an extended period to negotiate, yet he will always make certain to return later down the line—just how you are always drawn back to Faerûn and the memories in your fleeting dreams.

In this newly established manor, you have entered so effortlessly, the Emperor and you combined your earnings to fortify a gated home within the city. Here, in this manor, you two pose as humanoid adventurers hosting a couple of roommates.

You make your way down to the basement level. From there, you descend lower through an inconspicuous cellar. Further down the cellar lies a single room measuring at least five hundred square feet. A bed, wardrobe, and many rows of shelving decorate the cellar room meant to resemble a hideaway bunker with no other entrances available. Only a well-hidden entrance is sealed off by a dense wall of stone, and that entrance may only be revealed and accessed into by lighting the ordinary neighboring light fixtures on the ledge of each shelving with lightning infused magic—an innovative approach inspired by the dragon torches concealing Ansur.

Your dirtied thick leather boots thump against the cold stone floor as you make your way down a flight of spiraling stairs pass the magical dense stone wall. The way down covered in pitch darkness, and the air stale and cold. With use of your druidic magic, you light the blinding path downward with your Evocation spell Daylight imbued onto your sheathed longsword, and then you descend deeper into the void.

Your familiar humanoid face and casualwear outfit are covered in dirt and small splotches of blood from hunting for things for alchemical purposes. Coincidentally, when you were a little more than a month old, you realized you liked to scavenge for flora and fauna. Alchemy and medicine happened to pique your interest, and it soon dawned on your hazy intuition that these actions were a past hobby of yours during your more life-threatening adventuring period, and, even now, it still is a pastime activity that intrigues you.

The light illuminating off your longsword reveals a heavy and sturdy door at the foot of the black spiraling staircase. You reach into your pocket and pull out a key, and then you unlock the door and make your way inside.

The walls and floors within this room are laid out like stone pavement—neat, tough, and cold to the touch—and a miraculous chandelier made of smoke-gray metal hangs at least ten feet above an elongated table before you, draped with an intricate bordered black and gray table runner. Sheets of parchment paper and books rest atop it as if they were used recently. A couple of feet away from the hanging chandelier and draped table hung grayish-purple banners of a sleepy looking eye incased by circular rings and diamonds. The banners hanging proudly and boldly, the eyes following every movement made. This is the Knights of the Shield’s new location, and you are standing in its Main Hall.

You lock the door and make your way down the Main Hall, the Evocation spell on your sheathed longsword dissipating until it shined no more. About halfway down the hall, you turn to the right and enter through another corridor—the East Wing, as the Emperor had noted it on the blueprint.

Waiting for your safe return home, a female Tiefling who has sworn oath to protect you stands near your personal quarter door. She spots you and straightens herself out, and then she respectively bows to you as you draw near.

“Welcome back Master Tav. The Emperor sends you their regards,” she informs you. Carefully, she reaches into her side pocket and presents you with mail.

“Thank you, Nevine,” you reply, taking the unopened envelope from her and then unlocking your private quarter door. “Please proceed with your tasks and ensure that all agents of the Shield are executing their assignments.”

“Yes Master Tav,” Nevine nods her head and then bows politely before you close the door behind you.

You like Nevine. She has proven herself a loyal ally so far and was one of many you had managed to save during your journey to High Hall. For that redeeming grace you had blessed her with, she looks beyond your unfavorable appearance and does not ask for much in return except to willfully serve you. Worship you. Though, the Emperor once expressed how Nevine should be made a proper thrall for your sake, yet you countered it by saying she would make for a better meal if she were to ever thwart you.

You lock the door behind you after dismissing Nevine, and then you set the dirtied satchel filled with scavenged organic material down onto the wooden panel floor. As dangerous as it is to wander about in the open as a mind flayer, you do not let that factor stop you from pursuing your day-to-day tasks. And embodying yourself with illusionary magic seemed to do the trick. But the smell of an illithid was still a minor issue. Although the smell was not a huge problem, you decided it would still be advantageous to process a formula-like perfume to temporarily mask the scent away—a current work-in-progress project of yours. Especially from prying noses who are familiar with the natural scent of Illithid kind.

With a gentle flick of your wrist, the magic used to conceal yourself disintegrates off, and a giant mirror lined against the side of your personal sleeping quarter wall reveals your true nature to you, your reflection skipping past your line of vision for a moment as you look down at the envelope in your dirtied hand, awaiting your attention.

Your unusual illithid five fingers pry the three-fold sheet out from their encasing, and you unravel the neatly tucked letter cautiously:

I write to bring you happy news on the night of your celebration. I have completed my tour of the syndicates of the Sword Coast.

Amn, Cormyr, Waterdeep, and Calimshan prove promising leads.

I have communed with the illithid Nihiloor of Xanathar's Thieves Guild and made an ally of him. Through him, we will control the flow of riches through Waterdeep, and extend our influence to far north Luskan.

Meanwhile, in the south, I have established ‘contacts' in Calimshan—they answer wholly to me. Inland Cormyr will be the trickiest—there I believe we will have to manoeuvre around the restrictions of the law, but with the right representation in our control, that too will fall to us.

Make merry with your former allies, for we may yet have need of them. Keep them close, and wait for my word. Soon, my friend, neither word nor thought will traverse the Sword Coast without our knowing, nor our desire.

Until we reconvene,

The Emperor

A faint smile draws on your face—at least in the back of your mind—and you take in the familiar ink sprawled scribbles before refolding the sheet back into its envelope. A light whiff of a comforting scent tickling one of your tentacles in return.

It smells lightly of him. You take note of the faint vanilla and garlic scent. It tastes subtly of him. He is healthy and well. That is good.

Suddenly, you find yourself missing him.

Now is not a suitable time. You retort. There are many things I need to focus on, and dawdling over the absence of someone is time I cannot afford.

As quickly as that feeling came into thought, you shook it off. Besides, tonight, there is a party to deal with, and Withers will be terribly upset if you do not attend.

-

Next Chapter

[perilegs]

So, yeah I've talked plenty about Nøkk using crowd controll spells to avoid satisfying his urges bc as good as it feels, it's also scary to have your body react to carnage with pure ecstasy. I know he gets a craving for murder and does satisfy his urge every now and then, but he tries to do it as little as humanly possible. But! I decided I'm making him have a big relapse kind of in Act2 :)

Nøkk will be putting himself in danger by starting to use offensive spells more and getting closer to the enemies to strike them with his sword. Which, is such a bad idea bc he's a squishy bard. This is ofc noticeable to everyone, but Nøkk will lie and say that his experience with the sussur tree made him realize he needs to be getting his sword skills up to what they once were. I don't think anyone is fully convinced, but they've got a lot on their plate rn with the shadowcurse and stuff.

Even though Nøkk is now indulging his urges more, it's not enough. Denying the urge to kill Isobel made it so much worse. Nøkk needs help, but is scared to reach out.

This culminates in the durge romance murder scene. He'll lose control again. Just like with that poor dragonborn bard. Nøkk is so terrified of not being in control of himself, but he knows, if he says nothing, Astarion will be dead come morning.

Nøkk has mentioned his urges before, offhandedly, he didn't mean to. But it didn't even matter as no one realized how serious it was. They wouldn't have understood even if he told them everything he was feeling. Well, he would have probably gotten a dagger through his throat if he did that. And that's not something Nøkk would ever do even without the threat to his life.

Anyways, this time, he HAS to act. I'm just going to use direct quotes from the scene and give some extra Nøkk thoughts on them.

"I've been cursed. When I fall asleep, I will try to murder you." then the comment about being the only dark power inside of Nøkk and "You could have told me before things got murderously bad, you know." Astarion's attitude with this whole thing is not helping Nøkk out.

He's growing more and more panicked, with his consciousness about to slip. He's at a state where he's almost ready to give into his urges and maim Astarion. Until. "Whatever it is that's controlling you, we can fight it. I know that better than anyone." Hearing that gives Nøkk reassurance. He's not in this as alone as he first thought. However, there's no time to finish the thought before he faints.

The night passes with Nøkk remembering nothing but vague glimpses of it. Astarion was far more calm, patient, and gentle with Nøkk than he would have ever expected anyone to be in this situation. Losing sleep, well, meditation, over, for, Nøkk. "You've got this. And I've got you." Such a simple thing to say, yet it will linger in Nøkk's head for as long as he lives.

Once Nøkk inhabits his own mind again, he feels mortified. He cannot look Astarion in the eye. He keeps his gaze firmly on the ground, even as Astarion cuts his binds, tears almost swelling up.

"We need to have a talk." That's it. This is where Astarion will confess he wants nothing to do with Nøkk ever again anymore. It was foolish for Nøkk to even think they could ever be anything more than strangers.

But. That's not what happens. Astarion is waiting for Nøkk to explain himself. Very uncharacteristic to himself, Nøkk tells Astarion all about his urges, and how he was strictly avoiding them at first, but now he's trying to overcompensate the other way. The way they make his blood feel and take his mind away from him. The awful, horrible thoughts and images he can't get out of his head. All the nightmares and sleepless nights. All he can remember. It's all he can do to keep from crying. Nøkk finishes his tale, he's still not looking at Astarion.

Nøkk doesn't know what to expect, but it's not words of comfort. People aren't supposed to just accept something like this. "You're allowed to hate me for this." "I don't hate you. Because this is not you." Nøkk is left speechless. Also let's all take a moment to think about both Astarion saying that about durge's urges and Withers' "he only managed to kill the part of you he knew."

Anyways, Nøkk finally looks up at Astarion. His expression is soft, Nøkk, however, looks like he's about to burst into tears. "Whatever this is, you will get through it. And I'll be here to make sure you do."

Astarion, picking up on Nøkk's embarrassement and not wanting to make him cry, says something about there being a new dawn while he stands up. He extends a hand to help Nøkk up. Nøkk takes it. Maybe his future needn't be so grim after all.

Nøkk starts trying to learn a healthy balance on satisfying his urges. Suppressing all of them all the time just makes them worse, but, putting himself and everyone else in danger just to deal the finishing blow on everyone they fight is also, very unhealthy. He somewhat opens up to the rest of his companions about his condition a bit more too, bit by bit. There are people making sure he's okay. He's not in this alone.