#i almost believe the usernames now but i always check the blogs of anyone who follows me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tomhardysteeth · 4 years ago

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u wanna say anything for spn ending? Today's their last day of filming

Yeah sure! I love how you worded this ask, it makes me want to give a very serious answer. I’ve been rewatching random episodes the past few days and thinking about how much of my life was shaped by this random lil tv show, both positively and negatively, so here we go.

I started watching Supernatural during my junior year of college, when I was grappling with being gay and religious, and had a pseudo-girlfriend who was emotionally abusive. I remember I started watching the show because I had been on tumblr for a while and thought, well this is a popular show on tumblr and looks like something I’d enjoy, so I might as well try it. I remember barely paying attention to the first season and thinking it was kind of silly, and I distinctly remember making fun of it right up until the season 1 finale when that truck slammed into the Impala and I said oh.

I remember sitting in the dining hall between classes, hiding in a corner with my pink headphones and my laptop, watching one episode after the other, completely consumed by it. My personal life was a mess at the time and I was angry and sad and frustrated, but I could forget about everything for a little while when I watched spn. I remember falling in love with Dean Winchester, season 3, when Sam gave him the amulet.

Because I had already spent a lot of time on tumblr, I knew about Castiel. I couldn’t wait to get to season 4, the anticipation killed me. I didn’t really have a choice in shipping destiel, I literally shipped it before I even watched a single episode of the show lol. My first time watching seasons 4 and 5, I remember how mad I would feel every time the opening credits scrolled at the bottom of the screen and Misha Collins wasn’t listed. I cared about almost nothing but Dean and Cas interacting with each other. I was totally enamored by them, by their potential. At some point I got over that and watched the show because I liked the show, but boy did my heart and brain break for destiel.

I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. I started coming out to more people, including people involved in the Christian campus ministry I was heavily involved in, and it was very very hard. It was 2013. The first episode of Supernatural I watched live was the episode where Dean turns into a fucking dog.

I don’t remember when I started reading fanfic, and I had no idea how to read fanfic. A friend invited me to ao3, what is ao3? I didn’t know. I used my email address as my username. I read Twist and Shout and Pie Without Plot and other very popular fics that I knew about because everybody knew about them. I vividly remember the first fics I read because I was 21 years old and had never had an orgasm in my life and believed sex was sinful and so when the sex scenes in fics turned me on, I felt guilty about it.

I quickly got over that and started writing explicit destiel fanfic.

I still had no idea what I was doing. I know the very first fic I ever wrote was a mess, I’ve completely erased all traces of it, but other than that I began posting with abandon. Pretty much everything I’ve ever written for spn is still on tumblr and/or ao3. I was running a Hannibal blog at the time and started posting more Supernatural content than Hannibal content, so I created a sideblog, @deancasheadcanons, and things very quickly got out of hand after that.

I was depressed, I was confused, I was spending my last couple years of college trying to figure out my sexuality, trying to hold onto a religion that was rejecting who I was becoming, trying to find my identity while picking a career path and being sad and being pulled in a hundred different directions. Sometimes I was working three jobs at once, on top of 17-credit-hour semesters. I was getting a degree in a field I did not care about, and I spent every class reading and writing fanfic, scrolling through tumblr, making internet friends, letting my life be consumed by Supernatural. I projected myself completely onto Dean Winchester and partially onto Castiel and did not even realize it.

I started dressing like Dean, and my sister and brother-in-law noticed and assumed I was gay. They were extremely unsubtle in their attempts at getting me to come out by pointing out the flannel and army jackets, and I did not have it in me to admit to them that I was dressing like a fictional character, but I DID tell them I was bisexual.

I went to therapy every week during my senior year of college, and I was embarrassed about how often I talked about my “internet life,” as I called it. I remember having the arbitrary goal of getting 1,000 kudos on a fanfic, and I remember the day it happened for the first time and I remember going to therapy that week and saying that I didn’t feel any different, that I thought getting attention for my writing would make me feel better, somehow, but I still felt the same, and my therapist asked me if I would still be writing if I was the only one who got anything out of it and I said yes. But I was still obsessed with writing things that were meaningful, and despite the fact that I would receive 10 negative/mean anons per day, I never turned anon off because I desperately wanted people to tell me that my writing meant something to them, that it mattered to them. I was fighting with myself every day over my sexuality and my identity and my purpose, and I put all of that on the shoulders of Dean and Cas.

There was also chubby!dean. I had lived my entire life with this inexplicable thing, this shame that I knew I could not share, that I knew I would just have to suffer with for my whole life, and then I joined the spn fandom and found that there were others like me, others that had a fetish and had similar experiences as I did and were drawn to Dean Winchester because there’s no other character that could make eating and gaining weight be as enticing as he makes it (in fanfic). For the first time in my life I had a community of people that I could relate to about a thing that I never thought I would ever be able to talk about with anyone in my life. I don’t remember if I consciously chose to start posting publicly about it, but at some point I did, and I started writing kink fic, but I was still so uncomfortable with myself and so scared of the things I felt, and I tried so hard to temper myself and not offend anyone and not go “too far” and not be too weird and I was so sexually repressed and pent up and full of guilt and shame, and so now when I go back and reread some of the stuff I wrote it feels like reopening an old wound and letting myself bleed out.

I was constantly comparing myself to others and wondering why I wasn’t getting as much attention as so-and-so, and I always made excuses about how maybe my writing was too weird and I was too much and maybe I just wasn’t good enough and I hated myself and wanted to delete everything I ever wrote, but also I’m awesome and receive a lot of attention and get a lot of good feedback but maybe that means I’m just a narcissist! I acted like an asshole online and justified it by saying it wasn’t really me, that I could be someone totally different on tumblr than the person I was in “real life,” but in hindsight, now when I think back on my early 20s, I cannot separate what I was doing in “real life” from what I was doing in the spn fandom. I shared so much of myself with the spn fandom without even recognizing that that’s what I was doing.

And I made mistakes, god I made mistakes, and I tried to be so careful about everything I said but I was also presenting a certain version of myself to the spn fandom so that people would like me (for instance: running a destiel blog and trying my best to hide the fact that I also ship wincest) and still I got in trouble constantly, and I grew bitter and mean because you can only receive the “when are you posting the next chapter?” comment so many times before you want to bang your head into a wall. I became defensive and unkind, afraid to check my inbox because it was a nightmare, and yet unable to turn off anon because, like I said, I desperately needed that feedback, I needed people to tell me that they felt what I felt, that they understood what I was writing and why I was writing it.

I expected Supernatural to give me everything I needed. I fantasized about Dean Winchester being canonically bisexual because I thought it would confirm something in me, that it would somehow make my life a little bit easier. I didn’t want to watch other shows that could maybe help me, I wanted Supernatural to do things for me that it had never promised and would never deliver, and it’s because I was defined by it for so many years. Now that I’m back on tumblr, I’ve been going back through some of my old posts on deancasheadcanons and it’s like reading a stranger’s words. Even so, I find myself telling people “I was deancasheadcanons” instead of “I ran a sideblog called deancasheadcanons” because it really was such a huge part of my identity. What’s wild is that every time I’ve tried to explain it to someone in real life, they just look at me like I’m not making any sense.

It was easy to stop watching Supernatural. I didn’t have cable, and I had been driving to my dad and stepmom’s house each week and watching it on their tv after they had gone to bed. I was in a new relationship with a woman I nearly married, I was back in school for a new career, I was working full time and absolutely did not have time to continue writing fanfic as prolifically as I had done for so many years. I finally reached a breaking point in 2017 and haven’t watched any new episodes since then (I don’t remember the last episode I saw). But now, as I rewatch some old episodes, it is easy to feel the way I felt the first time I watched the show. It’s easy to see why this campy little heartfelt show was a lifeline during my formative adult years.

So it turns out I have never reckoned with any of this, have never written it down, hence the 2k jumble of words you see here. And it’s like, I know that a lot of this may seem silly, trivial, especially for a show that in itself is not very serious, but as it comes to an end I have to reflect on it as a person who put so much of my heart, my creativity, my pain and my floundering identity into it. I am somewhat embarrassed and wish I could respond to this ask with a joke instead, but we’re in a pandemic and I live alone and have had way too much time to think and reflect and become a lot more self-aware, and part of that reflection has definitely been about my time in the spn fandom. I remember thinking the show was never going to end, yet here we are at the end and I felt compelled to type all this out with a desire to, I don’t know, get some closure? Convince myself that I was a whole person, that I wasn’t just a faceless URL posting destiel fics into the void, that my real life was not at all disparate from the time I spent online? In any case, I’ll always think fondly of the time I devoted to Supernatural, and I’ll take the good and the bad and everything in between. Thanks for the nice ask, anon, apparently I needed to get some things off my chest.

#madd replies #long post #spn for ts #this is 2k words i am sorry lmao #wouldn't it be cool if i had any semblance of chill

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akocomyk · 4 years ago

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Random musings for today

It’s funny how in my almost nine years of blogging, I never actually persuaded anyone to read my blog—aside from my closest friends, though. Gotta be honest. I mean, I don’t really force them, but I do encourage them to read if they have time or if something catches their attention—or the occasional baiting of me, saying, “Yow, I blogged about you.” Most of the time, I’m inclined to believe that all my readers read my posts on their own volition.

Anyhooo...

I was going through my drafts the past week and saw this. It was just one paragraph then and I obviously never got back to it until now. The reason why I started writing the said paragraph was because last year, a lot of people went into vlogging and there’s this person on Facebook that made me feel like he/she wanted to shove his/her vlog down everybody’s throats—the publicity stunts are ridiculous yet the content is cringeworthy.

(Look, I’m down with supporting anybody’s vlog as long as it’s worth watching. There are a bunch of people who support this blog of mine, and, as someone who makes content myself, I’m totally fine with redirecting the love given to me—no matter how small that love is—to other creators. Just please make something that’s worthy of people’s time.)

I’m not wallowing on that story any further. Although, I do get their desperation to have more subs and views in order for their channels to get monetized. The thought of making money from my blog has always brushed my mind. Heck, I even thought about making a Patreon account that’s related to my blog.

But I always end up going against it, all in the name of the sanctity and my loyalty to my original intention of making a blog.

This is a space for me to write about my life. An avenue where I can tell my stories and hone my creativity. A virtual friend I can scream my rants to—never minding that all things I say can be seen by everyone on the internet. It’s a piece of me that’s not bound to a promise of meeting the clients’ brief and demands.

When I started sharing this blog on my Facebook account, it was not primarily because I wanted more viewers—the higher numbers are useless since I don’t earn anything from it. It’s for me to be more mindful of the things that I write and to force myself into making better content at a time when everything I posted was hideous.

Now... Uhmmm... I need a transition for a different topic but I can’t think of anything. Haha!

My post Redrawing my 2010 Caricatures – no. 03 garnered the most views on my blog so far this year—thanks to my friend who shared it on her Instagram. I’m not sure if it’s the most views I’ve ever had, so I might need to verify that first.

And... I just wanna share this. I have two or three avid readers from the US who read my blog literally seconds or minutes after I share them on Facebook. I don’t know who they are. Sometimes I think they might be robots who check if I’ve written something against the government (I can fantasize, right?). Or they might be stalkers who wanted to spy on my every move.

I’m kidding. If they’re reading this, please don’t get offended.

Nevertheless, I find this really fascinating and I’m curious about their utmost interest on my life. I’m unaware of their intention, but... yeah. They’re my silent followers. If they wish to continue being silent followers, I see no problem with that.

And there’s also no problem with letting me know what you think about the stuff that I post. You can react or comment on the Facebook post, give a heart on Tumblr, or even message me.

One of the nicest things anyone ever said to me was that my blog isn’t full of shit. I don’t even know who said that. I just know that it’s someone from work. I never considered changing the name of my blog. For me, it’s a tribute to the 18-year-old, self-deprecating me who believes everything he does is shit. My blog’s name reminds me everyday of how much I’ve grown.

I don’t ever want to change the username either—even when people have a hard time reading it at first. It’s supposed to be read as ako·si·omike. I was twelve when I made that (for YouTube), so forgive me.

I’m ending this here. It has become longer than I intended it to be. Have a good day!

#wakeupcall

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insomnia-productions · 6 years ago

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modern mdzs: tumblr styles

Wei WuXian:

basically gaud

WWX would be the biggest-gaudiest-patronuses of the mdzs world

Confusing, abstract posts that are both funny and vaguely ominous??

shitposting for days

“this is an uwu safe space”

But he also dispenses really good advice to his followers and genuinely makes them feel better about themselves

also he would 100% eat a whole-ass box of crayons on livestream

This is while he’s sharing a flat with Jiang Cheng in college so JC is just sat on the couch with him, staring into the void as his brother eats crayons

He tags JC in e v e r y t h i n g

*photo of a rock* this is you *anatomical drawing of a bird* ha you *description of lichen* you on mondays lmao

After he starts dating Lan WangJi, endless posts about how much he loves his bae

102% refers to LWJ as “bae” and “boo” exclusively

Posts beautiful drawings of LWJ

Isn’t as active in adulthood but still pops in to antagonize the kids once they get tumblr

Lan WangJi:

Gorgeous calligraphy

Has thousands of followers and 53% of them are WWX on different accounts (he keeps getting blocked)

Not a single reblog to be found

No text, no tags, nothing but photo posts with calligraphy and the occasional painting

Eventually branches out a little and posts audios of himself playing the guqin

“Jiang Cheng listen to this I can’t beLIEVE” “stfu Wei Ying it’s 3am get off tumblr”

When he starts dating WWX he posts a duet of them playing music together. It’s his first video and the first time he tags a post: ‘wangxian’

His followers connect the dots pretty quickly and there is mass hysteria

WWX reblogs it and now his fanbase is screaming too

Each of them gains several thousand followers that day

meanwhile jiang cheng is sitting with his much smaller list of followers watching this and internally screaming

Jiang Cheng:

Everything is purple

Tried to delete his account 13 years ago but couldn’t bring himself to

He didn’t even want to get tumblr in the first place but WWX talked him into it and then he got addicted

His username is sandu-shengshou and WWX teases him about it constantly

“Wow, so edgy~” “it’S CULTURALLY RELEVANT”

Started out as an anti-WWX blog

“this is an uwu free zone”

His header has been “wei ying sucks” since he was 12 and will remain that way until he dies

Eventually he started including general complaints about life along with his many complaints about WWX

Known for his sarcasm and saltiness

Has a infinitely long queue filled with posts about “that one asshole from maths” and “this douchecanoe I met at the supermarket today”

Individual tags dedicated to WWX and JZX (he always saves the most creative insults for WWX)

He barely uses his blog now but the queue is still going

From time to time he still adds to it

Has exactly 714 followers and 1/4 of them are porn bots

Now he mostly uses tumblr to stalk Jin Ling

Jin Ling:

Archery and horses

Picture a hybrid of Student Athlete and Horse Girl

idk i just think if jin ling ever met a horse he would love them

Half of his posts are chain arguments with JingYi

Posts tips on archery and sword fighting techniques

Reblogs other blogs’ advice and corrects everything that’s wrong with it

Gets blocked by all other archery blogs

Works part-time at a centre for horse riding lessons and posts stories about the horses there

He didn’t have any followers at first because the blogs that he corrected made a big fuss about him, but some curious people went to check him about and realized that he actually really knows his shit

Then they read his posts about horses and realized that he’s actually very sweet under the prickly and snobbish exterior, and now he’s got a fanbase

One time he accidentally reblogged from JC and then hid at JingYi’s house for three days out of pure embarrassment

He inherited a sword from his father’s family and named his blog after it

He knows that JC stalks his blog to keep tabs on him but he doesn’t say anything because sometimes people send him asks about how his advice really helped them and he lowkey wants JC to see that and be proud of him

Lan JingYi:

Reblogging memes, all day every day

You get to his blog, the icon is screaming seagull, the header is a collage of spongebob memes, the first post is related to the simpsons probably

A few wacky conspiracy theories sprinkled into the mix, no one can tell whether he really believes them

But if you scroll for a while, you’ll start to notice breaks in the pattern

Little aesthetic collages and edits made by JingYi himself

Stuff like the various seasons of Gusu, the mood of a night hunt with SiZhui, Jin Ling, and Zizhen, the atmosphere of Lotus Pier and Koi Tower and all the other sects he gets to visit

Aesthetic boards for his friends, his mentors - there’s even one for Lan Qiren and it’s full out mountains, calligraphy pens, grey clouds, and that lemon guy who says “uNAcEPTtABLe”

And if you look really, really closely, you’ll find that amongst the collages and the edits and even the memes… he’s managed to hide every. single. lan sect rule.

All 4000 of them. Hidden amongst memes, shitposts, and mood boards.

Lan Qiren finds out and doesn’t know whether to facepalm or be impressed

Ouyang ZiZhen:

Book reviews and recommendations

Header is an edit of books against a rainy window (JingYi made it for him)

Tags the other kids in all the most wholesome posts

People discover him from reblogs on the other kids’ blogs and then follow him because of his tags

ZiZhen is That Person who chats in the tags

Half of his posts are in the tags, almost like he’s shy to have all of it out on display

He gives recommendations for books based on specific seasons, moods, themes, etc

Someone sends him an ask one day to ask for a themed rec list and he screams, he’s buzzing about it for weeks, he goes all out and researches the shit out of his library to give the anon the best book list possible

After that he gets lots more asks and it makes him happy to provide other people with good books

Is a mutual with every single one of his followers and loves all of them

Lan SiZhui:

Everything is soft and blue

He was raised by WWX and later on by LWJ as well so the day he joined tumblr was a Historic Moment for the wangxian fanbase

There are bets down about whether he’ll be a shitposting blog like his Meme Dad or an art blog like his Mature Dad (or both??)

In the end he turns out to be an advice/suggestions blog

Every day he posts a wholesome suggestion and responds to anyone looking for advice

His followers: came for the wangxian lovechild stayed for the emotional healing

A lot of his advice asks are just JingYi and Jin Ling complaining about each other on anon

Sometimes he posts a short audio or video for a message he feels should be spoken

Now people keep requesting him to do asmr (JingYi laughs hysterically and tells him to do it) (he doesn’t)

Always promotes his friends’ blogs and encourages his followers to visit their blogs

His whole blog is just super wholesome and nice. WWX and LWJ are so proud.

#I've been thinking about Tumblr a lot every since I deLETED MY BLOG #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #gdc #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #founder of diabolism #wei ying #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #lan wangji #wangxian #lan jingyi #jin ling #lan sizhui #ouyang zizhen #modern mdzs #mdzs modern au #yunmeng duo #yunmengjiang duo

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sooghostwriter · 6 years ago

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Bodyguard

Pairings: Do Kyung Soo x OC

Genre: Mature, Romance, Angst (But not love angst), fluff

Warnings: Main character under trauma.

Summary: Ae Ra is a singer who has been receiving threatening messages and letters for a while now, but she didn’t give them importance. Until one day the sender decides to act and kidnaps her. It’s then when her agency decides that she needs protection, so they hired two bodyguards for her. Mister Do and Mister Park.

Chapter 9

She was back at her house two days later. An intern from her agency made sure to keep her house fresh, the plants watered and her fridge full. It wasn’t too hard to go back to her normal life. At least inside her house. She really missed her bed, her studio, her garden, and even her furniture. She even was able to sleep alone. At least the night of Chanyeol’s shift.

By the third day she decided that it was time to start facing things. She wanted to end this issue as fast as possible “Mister Lee Joon Young in now been questioned by my partner and the psychologist” It felt weird to finally know the name of that man. She wasn’t sure if it was a good weird or bad weird “I was at home once and I saw her perform on stage” She read on his statement “And I could see it. Her body language, the way she looked at the camera and her lyrics, she was calling for an uprising so her twisted ideas could reign, followed by a horde of innocent people who would do everything she said, they are all organized, ready to attack at any moment” Ae Ra couldn’t believe what she was reading “We ask him what his sources were, with the excuse that we needed to investigate it so we could press charges against you, he gave us a list of websites, hashtags, usernames, etc” He stopped and sighed in frustration “They were all fansites, blogs dedicated to you, fan accounts, and the words they used to refer to you are Queen, goddess , and everybody professed rather feverishly they love and blind trust towards you, acting like a cult, this only feed is fantasy” Chanyeol and Kyung Soo were showing their anger in different ways. Chanyeol was holding his head between his hands, shaking it in disbelief. Kyung Soo was laying back, his arms folded across his chest, and a leg bouncing in exasperation. He looked so mad that it scared her. It was tragicomic, Minseok always joked about how every fan meeting looked like mass, someone took it literal “That’s all we have for now, he believes he is in the right, so his attitude towards us is of course not the best, but he already confessed, everything is there, so we don’t need you to meet him, not until the trial at least” That was a relief. She was ready to face him, but that readiness was a lot of fake it until you make it. She was still terrified by him. And she didn’t even know what he looked like. The detective walked them out of his office and engaged in a light conversation with them when they heard a small commotion ahead. Ae Ra stopped on her track, instinct maybe, and Chanyeol and Kyung Soo stood behind her. A couple of policemen walked in front of them, talking in their radios, and a couple of steps behind, two more cops walked by holding a handcuffed man. Ae Ra looked down out of respect and watched the three pairs of feet walked by, but one of them stopped “Ae Ra” A male voice called quietly “It’s you Ae Ra” He said louder this time, almost shouting. She looked up, she knew she shouldn’t have to, she should have taken a step back. But she didn’t, she looked up and met the eyes of the men calling her name. Lee Joon Young. He was tall, with long limbs, gaunt, and his skin lacked any shine or color. His eyes were red and big. He stared at her without blinking. He kept struggling, trying to free himself from the grip of the policemen, moving closer to her. She wanted to move away, but her legs didn’t respond “Let me go so I can finish her!” He shouted right on her face, but before she could move away, Kyung Soo pulled her behind him and rushed on his direction. Chanyeol was quicker this time and grabbed Kyung Soo, passing his arms under his armpits and over his chest. Kyung Soo tried to charge again, but Chanyeol stopped him. Joon Young began laughing, a loud, terrifying laugh “Look at that, your toy boy is here!” She was sure she felt the same rush of anger that Kyung Soo felt, wash over her. She took two big steps, but Chanyeol stopped her too, grabbing her by her jacket, stopping her from taking one step closer. She was furious, him calling Kyung Soo like that remained her of the times he tried to hurt him. She wasn’t going to let that happen again. She tried to take her jacket off so she could move, but Chanyeol noticed it and pulled her again, making her lose some balance. Only then Kyung Soo looked away from Joon Young and moved her attention to Ae Ra, worried that she could fall. At the same time, the two policemen were able to control Lee Joon Young and took him out of the place. Chanyeol didn’t release his friend or Ae Ra, just in case “You two are making a scene, let’s go!” He grabbed them both by the arm and walked them back into the detective’s office.

A couple of days later, Mister Min arrived at her house with her lawyer. Kim Junmyeon looked as young as he was, and she liked that. Maybe he wasn’t very experienced, but he had the ethics that only youth gives you. And if Mister Min brought him, it meant he was good. Mister Min, Junmyeon, Kyung Soo sat at her dining table with her, cups of coffee at hand and folders with police reports inside “Lee Joon Young confessed all his crimes, although he didn’t really need to, his fingerprints were found on the gun that was used to shoot you, his car and motorcycle matched the ones seeing on the footage, and we are going to use that, but he sustains that it was a favor for our country, the defense is having a hard time” “What about Jin Tae Ri?” “Well in her case, she has a record, she recognized that she attacked you in the bathroom and broke into your house, the bathroom attack was a femicide attempt, which will give her the highest sentence and she was also an accomplice all the way” She was asking about that, sure, but she was worried about something else “What Miss Ji is really worried about is their mental state, Miss Jin has a story of substance abuse and Mister Lee has a diagnose of schizophrenia” Kyung Soo was able to put into words what she was really worried about. Junmyeon was worried about sentences and how many laws they broke, and it was great because he was a lawyer. And Ae Ra was conscious about how much they both hurt her and affected her these last months, but she also knew that it was something beyond their control. So they couldn’t pay for what they did as everybody does. And also, they got Kyung Soo in the middle. That wasn’t going to go unnoticed. “Miss Ji, I can ask for a number of years…but the prosecution needs a stand on that matters too, I understand your position and I support it, and I can promise you that I will try to help you, helping them” That was all she was asking for “Thanks Mister Kim” He smiled warmly at her and kept informing them about the curse of the case.

+++

After weeks, she stayed by herself at her house for the first time. She missed the company, but she didn’t feel lonely or scared. One time a bird clashed with her kitchen window, and she almost called the police, yes. But after she took a couple of deep breaths, as her therapist recommended, she was back to normal. Therapy was doing wonders. And not only in the matters related to Jin Tae Ri and Lee Joon Young. She now had new weapons to come back to her idol lifestyle. She learned that she didn’t need everyone’s approval, that resting was necessary, that her own image couldn’t be based on how people saw her and that she didn’t own an explanation to anyone regarding her life. Most specifically her private life. She realized that therapy will become a health necessity for her, like the 6 pills of vitamins and supplements she took every day.

Kyung Soo arrived a bit after dinner time “I thought today was Chanyeol’s shift” She commented as he great her at the door, kissing her warm cheeks and giving her a long hug “It was, but we reached a deal” A deal was kind of a big word. He simply told Chanyeol that he was going to Ae Ra’s house, and he only agreed. He grabbed her hand and walked her inside the house into the living room. He sat in the couch and patted the spot beside him. Ae Ra sat as close as she could and passed her arms around his waist resting her head on his shoulder “Did you eat? I cooked some pasta like you taught me” He regretted the bowl of Udon he ate, he wanted to try her food “Don’t worry, I ate with Chanyeol before I came here” He embraced her back, pulling her even closer and kissed the top of her head “Ae Ra, Chanyeol and I had a meeting today with your boss and our boss” “Our bosses, remember we are coworkers” He laughed softly and ruffled her hair “Right, I forgot, well, a lot of things came from that meeting” He prompted her to move so he could look at her when talking about this matter. She released him from her hold but grabbed his hand. He was pleased with the skinship “Tell me, tell me!” She asked eagerly “First, your agency will be hiring the services from our agency permanently for you and your colleagues, which got us two big bonus checks” He was going to be able to afford a new mattress and a better oven “Congratulations!” “Thank you, also, we talk about our contracts” He saw the change on her face. From happy too wary in a second “You are going to have a bodyguard from now on, that will accompany you only in public appearances” “And is not you” She guessed “And is not Chanyeol” She was right again “Is a colleague and friend of us, Jongin” Her expression softened a little bit “If he is your friend, I guess is alright, when is he starting?” “After your trial” Now she was free of tension “You wanna see him, I’m sure I have pictures with him” He fetched his phone from his back pocket and searched for a picture. He found one of Jongin and Chanyeol at the new year party of the agency in full suit. Ae Ra’s eyebrows went up “Is he going to protect me with how beautiful he is? Is he planning of dazzling people?” He laughed at her comment and looked at the picture again. He did look quite dazzling “Don’t look at him too much, you could end up falling in love with him” He joked, bringing up their inside jokes “Impossible” She leaned forward, tilting her head, her eyes focused on his. He knew that look. He liked that look. He grabbed her strongly by her waist, pulling her on his lap. He wrapped Ae Ra’s body with his arms, nosing her neck taking in her wonderful scent. She circled his neck with her arms and caressed his back and head absentmindedly. He felt like taking a nap. Ae Ra always talked about how he was a strength for her. How he brought her peace and calm. But she had no idea how peaceful felt to be in her arms. How healing her warmth was. And it wasn’t that he was particularly stressed, but the world always drove him a bit mad. Too much noise and too many things going around. But being with Ae Ra felt as if she was stopping time, and he had time to breathe.

++++

She met with Mister Kim several times before the trail. He always came in with new information. He confessed that this was the first time he worked almost hand in hand with the prosecution “Next week we will present our evidence, they will say that it was all product of his schizophrenia and her drug abuse, and then we will ask for a sentence that the judge has to approve” “What sentence are you asking for?” “15 years…that’s the minimum” He clarified, but still it sounded like so much “He hasn’t been very collaborative with his lawyer. They could lower if he accepted that he is sick and needs treatment for example, but he isn’t doing it yet…in fact, he keeps repeating that you need to be put on trial” Ae Ra was worried about that. She had to be at the trail. And if he kept acting as he did before when encountering her, the situation wasn’t going to be pretty “What should I say? If I get ask if I am sending secrets messages through my music and all that, what should I say?” Junmyeon gave her a funny look. And when she heard what she just asked, she felt stupid “Ok, I know what I should say, no, of course, but how?” It was an honest question. Did she need to be calm? Or be emphatic? Maybe giggle before answer because it was a stupid question, should she bring proof that she wasn’t a dictator? “If they ask you, just say no, explain what your writing process is, what you write about, actually Joon Young told the police which are the songs with subliminal messages” He pulled a list of ten songs from one of the folders. They were all singles, of course “This is insane, this two are about summer, this one is about partying, this three are about not giving up and the rest are love songs” Junmyeon asked her if she wrote all of them. She did. He recommended her to bring the drafts for the songs, notebooks, etc, so they could have it on hand. Just in case. Their meeting went on for two hours. He had to go to the police station for the last bit of proofs “Miss Ji, we can’t make him go through therapy before the trial, I wish we could, I will do my best so you both have a fair trial, but you have to remember that justice is here for a reason” “Why are you telling me that?” “Your manager and bodyguard told me that you could be thinking of drop all charges on him” Those bastards, how could they read her so well “Don’t worry Mister Kim, I will not do that, I trust you” He bowed at her smiling, and then left. A couple of minutes before he left, she got a message from him – Sorry, forgot to tell you that the trial is set for next Friday – She had to run to the bathroom for the sudden nausea she got.

+++++

She wasn’t surprised when she arrived at the court and a sea of reporters rushed to her. Chanyeol and Kyung Soo stayed next to her, unwavering. She didn’t answer any question as instructed by Mister Kim and walked inside the building. Head up, as Kyung Soo instructed. She was amazed at how she didn’t fade, even after not eating for almost a day. Her anxiety got the best of her and only water could go down her throat. Any solid thing was immediately rejected. It scared her a little bit. This was worse than on other occasions. She even had a pregnancy test, because of nausea. The idea of having to relive everything that happened in the last months. Every fear, every encounter disgusted her. Mister Kim promised her that she wouldn’t have to talk more than necessary, after all, there were proofs that spoke for themselves. But having to hear everything, as if someone was reading a horror novel to her, wasn’t appealing at all. Chanyeol, Kyung Soo, Mister Min, Sehun, Minseok, Baekhyun were witnesses. Specially Kyung Soo and Chanyeol since they were there at the worst attacks. She sat next to Junmyeon as a couple of journalists allowed at the courtroom arrived. She could recognize two girls from her fan site, a small group of people wearing t-shirts with her name on it and people from her agency. Time passed so slowly. Junmyeon told her that in 10 minutes Lee Joon Young was going to arrive. But those 10 minutes never passed. And then he arrived. And suddenly everything happened very fast. First thing Joon Young does when he arrives is lock eyes with her and grin menacingly. She looked away immediately and found Kyung Soo’s eyes looking at her. He looked peaceful as always. He smiled softly at her, and involuntarily she smiled back. How not to. And he did that for the rest of the trial until it was his turn to give a statement. Lee Joon Young remained quiet the entire time. When Chanyeol and Kyung Soo testified, Mister Kim asked them very specific questions, then the prosecutor did the same and Joon Young stayed quiet the entire time. Smiling sometimes, nodding or talking to himself. Ae Ra avoided his figure. He only looked at whoever was standing in the witness stand. She didn’t quite listen to what they were saying though. It was self-defense. The last one to give his statement was Mister Min. Ae Ra couldn’t avoid listening to him. He spoke seriously, but every word was charged with a fatherly feeling an emotionality. Once he was done, the defense had their turn. It all went as Junmyeon told her. The prosecutor did what he could with what little he had. He didn’t deny any accusation. And when he reached the motive for the attacks, his tone was apologetic. But the whole room reacted. Her agency never published the whole story. They all knew Ae Ra took the hiatus for the attacks, but no one knew who was attacking her, or how. The angriest ones were her fans. The small group that made it to the courtroom complained loudly at the lawyer and Lee Joon Young. She could feel the shade they were sending them. The defense finished and the judge called for a twenty minutes recess and left the room, so he could come back with the verdict. The police took Lee Joon Young to another room and Ae Ra went to sit between Chanyeol and Kyung Soo. He grabbed her hand and hid it under his coat, meanwhile Chanyeol and Baekhyun distracted her with silly comments. Junmyeon looked confident and it was contagious. She was feeling positive all of the sudden. This could end up soon and in the way she hoped. Twenty minutes passed. This time faster, and they all went back to their sits. The judge, a middle-aged man who looked bored started going over the case. Pointing out the facts, how believable the evidence presented was “After considering the evidence showed to me, listen to all the witnesses and considering the mental situation of the accused, besides him not being able to recognize it, I came to the decision that Mister Lee Joon Young will be sentenced to 15 years at psychiatrist facility designated by this court, where he will receive the treatment he needs to overcome his situation, but also serve his sentence for the several times he broke the law. Because even if the history that his mind was making up about Miss Ji and her intentions for the citizens of South Korea was true, killing her was never the answer. As she came to justice to clean this situation, he should have done the same” He hit the table with his hammer, and everybody stood up as he left. Joon Young lost it there. He started shouting that he wasn’t crazy and that she needed to be erased from here. Before he could keep shouting and getting himself another charge, two big bulky officers came and almost lifted him from the floor, taking him out. Hearing Joon Young’s loud voice scared her again, and she was sure the memory of it will keep making her jump in shock. She could hear him shout outside, until the sound was a low hum. No one celebrated. No one clapped. And she was thankful for it. Her fans didn’t try to talk to her out of respect, but she made sure to thank them for being there. She answered a couple of questions from the journalist but cut it short since she was planning on giving a press conference. After everybody left only her friends and boyfriend stayed with her. They didn’t congratulate her nor celebrate. They only hugged her and patted her back. There was nothing to celebrate really, so she was kind of relieved by her friends’ actions. They took their time to go out, although time wasn’t going to help. The journalists outside the court were able to wait for her under heavy rain if it was necessary. They resumed their positions and Chanyeol and Kyung Soo sandwiched her and walked outside, pushing back every daring journalist and photographer that came too close. She jumped inside the van, and went to the back seat, feeling exhausted “Now go straight home, take a bath, eat and then go to bed, we need you strong for tomorrows trial with Jin Tae Ri” Right, it wasn’t over yet, she thought, falling asleep on the back seat.

++++++

After the two trials, she stayed at her parents’ house for a couple of days. Her house was still surrounded by journalists. It was a very emotional visit. She didn’t inform them about all the things that happened to her this past month. She forbid them to go to the trial or google her and they obeyed. That’s why when she told them everything that happened, they broke into tears, especially her dad. She spend some good thirty minutes being hugged by them. Just like that time when she was 10 and broke her arm, they didn’t know what else to do to comfort her, to make the pain go away “But there is no more pain mom and dad” She assured them “And that’s the next thing that I want to talk about with you both…Kyung Soo you can come in now”. When Kyung Soo was driving her to her parent's place, she dropped the bomb “Since we are visiting them and is your shift, I will tell mom and dad that we are dating” He almost crash with the car ahead “Can you wait until we stop working together?” “Why?” “Well…what are they going to think about me? We started dating, we work together and we pretty much live together, that makes me look like a horrible man” She giggled and hold his hand “My mom already knows about us, and she doesn’t care, my dad is going to be busy thanking you for taking care of me and all that, don’t worry they are going to love you, and also, they are modern people, they got married after I was born and my mom is 7 years older than my dad and she was his boss at the company they worked” “I…ok…yeah it’s like us” “It’s not like us, because she was his boss and we are…” “Coworkers, yes, we are coworkers” He interrupted her, sounding exasperated but still smiling. He wasn’t smiling when he came to their living room though. He was dead serious, he was good at that. She gave him a signal to relax, but he ignored her. Kyung Soo sat on the sofa in front of them and remained silent “As mom already knows, so I guess dad you are informed too, Kyung Soo and I are dating” Kyung Soo bowed until his chest almost touched his knees. Ae Ra stood up and sat next to him, she didn’t like how lonely and sorry he looked there by himself “I’m aware of your relationship…I’m glad you brought him, we are going to have a couple of days to know each other better” “I’m sorry we have to meet under this circumstances Kyung Soo” Her mom spoke to him softly, smiling at him “I’m sorry I didn’t come here early ma’am” “Oh, those are silly details, don’t worry” Her dad got up and stood in front of Kyung Soo, signaling him to get up too. He did so with military obedience, and her dad immediately catch him in a hug “My wife told me all the great things about you, I know how much you have done for our daughter, I’m glad I can call you son from now on” She always knew she got her talent with words from her dad. After the crying and after her parents finally left Kyung Soo alone with all their hugs, she was able to get her boyfriend back and go for a walk with him. It was already dark outside and there were very few people on the streets. Kyung Soo bought two coffees and they walked for almost three hours around the neighborhood. She showed him her high school, her old house, the place where she took piano lessons since she was six, the laundromat where she worked for the first time “And last, the next year I was hired by my agency, the owner plays one of my records every day” “Were you a good employee?” “Of course I was…although one time I was careless and a red sock went inside a charge of white clothing…thank god it was my dad’s clothing, he wore pink shirts and t-shirts for months” Kyung Soo broke into a goofy laugh, his apple cheeks glistening in the night lights. It was so nice to see him laughing like that again. It felt like in the past week everybody around her, including herself, were pained, or pitying and Kyung Soo wasn’t the exception. She knew why, she wasn’t going to blame him. He was always the one giving her calm and reassurance, but he was as human as she was, and he was only worried for her. But know everything was over. Jin Tae Ri and Lee Joon Young were sentenced, and they were going to receive the help they needed. Her agency was taking care of the press and arranging her press conference, and finally her marvelous fans were taking care of all the hate she could get in social media. Now her only worry was to go back to her normal life. She got a text from her mom telling them to go back home for a midnight snack, so they turned around and walked back, holding each other by the waist, sharing some warmth. It was three in the morning when they went to sleep. Her parents went to their room, Kyung Soo got a futon on the living room and she went to her room. She didn’t go to bed immediately though. She waited until her parents were asleep, to snick out of the room to the living room. She found him in bed already, but still awake “Ae Ra, go to sleep” He told her from under the covers “No, I want to cuddle, move” She got under the covers and pushed Kyung Soo to the side until her body was firmly pressed to his. Despite the initial response, he immediately enveloped her in his arms, kissing her nape “What if your parents come in?” “They are already sleeping, nothing can wake them up” He hugged her tighter, so she imagined he had already given up “I like your parents” “They like you” “Thank god, so we are really doing this? Dating?” She turned around in his embrace, curious “What do you mean? We have been dating for almost a month now” “Yes, but now you introduce me to your parents, so is very official” He was right, kind of “Actually, we haven’t informed my other parents yet, my agency” Kyung Soo cursed under his breath “Look, I will take care of that, but only after Jongin starts working with me” “So this Monday” “That soon! Today is Thursday!” Kyung Soo covered her mouth, but it was too late, with some luck, her parents wouldn’t hear her yelling “If it helps, tomorrow Chanyeol will be with you, but I’m going to take Saturday and Sunday shift” That did help, a lot “And then on Monday Jongin will take over, but since you don’t have a schedule until Friday, Chanyeol and I will guide him through some stuff at your house and agency, so for some days you are going to have three bodyguards” Not bad, she thought “Kyung Soo, I still have to talk with my agency, but for the time being, I prefer us to keep dating in secret, I want to avoid any situation where you could get hurt, some fans can be very rude and hurtful, you don’t deserve going through those things… at least meanwhile all this fades off” “Whatever you want Ae Ra, I want the best for us, especially for you, I can only follow what you say in this matter, you know best, so whenever you feel ready, open up about us” She felt a burn in his heart, not a bad one. It was just a burst of something. That burst she felt whenever she saw him, but it was stronger when he said those kinds of things. Words of understanding, support, care and love. She planted a chaste kiss on his lips, because what else does one do on those situations. He smiled and she knew she did well. She caressed his cheeks, his cute ears and head “Are you willing to be kept in the shadows? I can’t tell the world about you, I can’t even take you out on dates” As she asked him, her voice broke. He was alarmed for a second, but then smiled at her again, returning her caresses “I don’t like going out that much either” She moved her hands away from his face and hugged him. His lips pressed against her forehead, hers resting on the base of his neck. Kyung Soo whispered different words of love until she fell asleep.

The next morning she was awakened by her mom “Ae Ra, wake up and go to your bed before your dad comes in, poor Kyung Soo would be mortified” She followed her mom’s order, half-awake, half asleep and was able to release herself from Kyung Soo’s grip. She saw Kyung Soo move peacefully on his sleep. It was still 7 in the morning, he still had some minutes of sleep left. As she closed the door of her room, a strange feeling settled in her chest. This peace and this homely feeling they have been sharing all this time were coming to an end. She was on her way to come back to her normal life. To the busy schedules, the airport life, the rumors and the lack of privacy. And despite all the things Kyung Soo told her that night, one could never know how he would actually feel when rumors of her dating another celebrity came out, or when she cancels dates, when she was so physically and emotionally exhausted that she didn’t want to see anyone or when the first possessive fans started attacking him. She trusted that he was brave and that he loved her. But this wasn’t about her. She was terrified of the mere thought of him getting hurt.

___

Note: After watching police show after police show (Bones, The Mentalist, Brooklyn 99, etc). After watching so many dramas with lawyers on it (Suspicious Partner, Lawless lawyer, While you were sleeping, etc) here I am forgetting every single term and how the law works. Fuck it.

Next week, last chapter!!

#Kyungsoo #kyung soo #do kyungsoo #d.o #exo fanfiction #d.o fanfic #exo fanfic #do kyung soo #kyungsoo fanfic

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yoyoplisetsky · 6 years ago

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HELLLOOOOOO WELCOME TO “CARY ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING!?!?” feat. a little i will go down with this ship! story about the “real” viktor nikiforov

this fic asks you to disregard a little bit of canon. we all change things in our creative decisions, of course! nothing too major ;) i’ve changed and grown a lot since i started writing iwgdwts

but! the moment y’all have been waiting for! i thought it would be best to reveal in a small drabble on tumblr bc y’all are great and it’s been so long since i posted yoi fic so you deserved something fun and exciting!!!

“Are you sure I should do this?” Yuuri mumbled, resting his head against Viktor’s shoulder. He had been thinking about it for a while, ever since he and Viktor had started dating. He kept talking to Vik, and Viktor encouraged it.

“Of course!” Viktor mused, kissing Yuuri’s hair softly. “You’ve gotten really close to her, right? I think it would be fun! I’ll come with you, we can tell her that we both like the fics. It’s cute!”

“Most people would find it creepy, Vitya,” Yuuri laughed.

“She’s never done anything rude. She’s always very sweet and gives you the love you deserve. And her fics are great. We should meet ‘therealviknik’.” Viktor always put airquotes around Vik’s username because he thought that it was hilarious that someone online was claiming to really be him (at least, by URL).

Viktor, of course, wasn’t Vik.

That was a frankly laughable scenario. The kind that Vik would write in her fanfiction. The shocking, romantic kind that would take her a thousand years between each update because she can’t decide what will make the chapter the best and gets buried in other work and other ideas. The kind that Yuuri and thousands (unbelievably, amazingly, something that Vik would eternally be incredibly grateful for) of people would read.

It’s not the kind of thing that would happen in real life.

Yuuri swallowed and opened up tumblr.

katsukiforov: hey vik!

katsukiforov: i was thinking, and i know this is weird after all the anonymity and stuff, but i was thinking maybe… we could meet up?

katsukiforov: i get if you don’t want to!!! it’s a really weird request and sort of out of the blue…

katsukiforov: i just think … i should probably tell you about myself in person haha…

therealviknik: omg!!!! you want to meet? jsdalkfsa;;

therealviknik: i’m outta school rn and not working yet so i’m super free!!! are you coming here or there or

katsukiforov: i… don’t know where you are, but i can come to you. i don’t want you to have to pay for the trip when it was my idea

katuskiforov: plus my boyfriend wants to come with me and so he’ll find it fun to go somewhere new

therealviknik: i mean ohio is boring as Hell but you’re definitely welcome to come visit :)

therealviknik: i’ll show you the best of ohio ;)

therealviknik: so all of like… three things

katsukiforov: you’re in ohio, then?

therealviknik: 22 years here the real question is when am i Not in ohio asjldfas;;

Yuuri laughed at the messages and kept talking until he’d gathered a good date to meet up with Vik and the specific city in Ohio where she lived.

It was weirdly exciting, actually, that he was going to meet Vik. He’d pictured her a lot over the years of talking to her. He’d gotten what he thought was a pretty good image.

She never posted selfies, but he knew that she was in a wheelchair after many conversations about her frustrations with broken motors and dumb stories (like her tripping over it at 1 in the morning because she decided to push it with her feet instead of her hands).

She liked ants, loved Viktor, mostly owned the color purple, would die for Ant-Man, and had a lizard named Smaug, among other things.

And he was going to meet her in Ohio.

He supposed that explained the time that she edited Viktor’s face onto corncobs at like 3am. When he’d been in college in Detroit, he’d driven to multiple cities in Ohio (since it really wasn’t that far at all, driving from Ohio to Detroit was completely reasonable for a musical you really want to see, or something like that). And, well… once you got past Toledo, Ohio was pretty much all the same.

Corn.

Still, he was excited to go since it meant meeting Vik. Nervous, but Viktor did his best to help Yuuri keep his nerves down.

Before he knew it, he was in the airport, a ticket to Ohio in hand. He checked tumblr one last time before he boarded, sending a video of a lizard chasing after some crickets to Vik before messaging.

katsukiforov: getting on the plane now

therealviknik: !!!

therealviknik: i am So Hype kat omg jaslkdfas;;

therealviknik: i’ll be at the airport!

therealviknik: i’m the one in the wheelchair and the ant-man shirt probably Still crying about this lizard jsakldfas;;

katsukiforov: knew you’d like that one

katsukiforov: see you soon!

Yuuri turned off the phone as he stepped onto the plane. He tapped his fingers against his leg the whole ride, trying to keep breathing. This would be fine. Vik would probably freak out, but hopefully she’d be cool about it and not like… totally go crazy.

The plane landed and Yuuri went to gather his luggage before he could look for Vik. He held tight to the handle of his suitcase, each step feeling like a thousand as he approached.

There were a bunch of people in the airport, but after a second he was pretty sure that he saw her.

A girl sat there, pink earphones plugged into her phone as she watched some video, lost to the world. From the reflection in her purple and blue framed glasses, Yuuri was pretty sure it was something about… ants?

If the wheelchair and Ant-Man shirt weren’t dead giveaways that she’d told him herself¸ then crying about a video about ants in a crowded airport certainly would be.

That had to be Vik.

He walked up to her and she looked up, taking a second to untangle her earphone from her long and unruly ponytail. Her eyes widened as she made eye contact, opening and closing her mouth a few times before settling on just staring.

Yuuri awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “Um… Vik?”

“Oh my god,” Vik whispered, staring up at him. She set her phone down (and, yes, she was definitely watching some video about ants). “Yeah, but you can call me Cary. Wait, are you serious? Are you Kat?”

“Sorry,” Yuuri groaned, covering his face. “I know it’s weird.”

Cary waved her hands and her wheelchair started to move before she yelped, tapping her wrist against her leg with an awkward look. “I forgot my motor actually was working, sorry,” she laughed before looking up at him again. “Are you telling me that Yuuri Katsuki has read my fics?”

“I know it’s weird,” Yuuri repeated, groaning. “This is why I thought it would be better to tell you in person.”

“It’s super weird,” Cary said, fiddling with the end of her hair before shaking her head. “Oh my god,” she whispered, laughing softly. “Yuuri Katsuki sends me videos of lizards that make me cry because they’re so cute.”

Then her eyes hardened, glaring at him.

That wasn’t what he expected. Of course, it wasn’t entirely unexpected, considering the fact that he had lied to her, but he had sort of… expected that to be the first reaction, not some follow-up. “My characterization is great, thank you very much!” she finally said and Yuuri stared at her.

“It is, Viktor and I have joked that you write like you actually know us and – “

“No,” Cary cut in. “You kept commenting about how I made Yuuri too good at stuff. You’re amazing, and you deserve everything I give you in fics. Shut up.”

“Oh.” Yuuri stared at her, his eyes wide. He was never great at taking compliments, but he’d gotten used to them from Vik, even though she hadn’t known directly that she was complimenting him before… “Thank you?”

“You’re welcome,” Cary said, crossing her arms over her chest before her face filled with a bright smile. “I still can’t believe it’s you. Oh my god. Lily and I were thinking about getting a photoshoot with you and Viktor at a convention together, and we wouldn’t have even known.”

“You’re… not going to tell anyone, right? I know I’ve dropped out of the fandom quite a bit since me and Viktor started dating, but I just… want to make sure that no one knows.”

“Let it out, and lose you online? No way! Your secret is safe with me,” Cary smiled, tapping her hand against her wheel. The motor turned on, rolling smoothly though making an odd clicking noise. Judging by past descriptions of the motor, he assumed it was almost pristine with only a small noise. Yuuri walked after her, having to walk a bit too quickly to keep up.

“Thank you,” he said gratefully, smiling at her. “I’d miss talking to you too. It’s weird. Phichit is totally open with who he is online, but I just… this is better.”

“Oh, especially. Wouldn’t want everyone finding out about you reading the weird stuff.” Cary turned to him and winked.

The weirdest thing he read was the time that she wrote a fic for her own birthday that featured him turning into a lizard at the full moon and keeping ants. He was pretty sure that no one would care about the “weird stuff.” He didn’t want to read any of the weird stuff.

They walked in almost silence for a little bit before Cary slammed her hand against her wheel, effectively stopping her motor. Cary glanced at Yuuri, a shockingly shy look on her face. “Wait if you’re Yuuri, does that mean when you said your boyfriend is coming, that means…” Cary trailed off, staring at him with wide eyes.

Right. Of course. That little detail was one she’d latch onto. Cary, as much as she wrote about both of them, had a habit to focus on Viktor and often posted compliments about him only. “Viktor’s showing up tomorrow.”

“Oh my god.” Yuuri could only describe the noise that Cary made as a shriek, her eyes wide and excited. Yuuri laughed, shaking his head. “Look, I love you, I love your love, you know I love that, but Viktor Nikiforov is my life.”

“I would have never known,” Yuuri laughed. Between Cary’s icon, blog description, URL, and everything else, her love of Viktor was hardly a secret.

He could relate.

After all, wasn’t that part of why he’d loved her fics?

happy april fool’s day

i love you i’m gonna have a real update eventually i promise ajskldfa;;

#thishasbeencary #my fic #i will go down with this ship!#pls appreciate the lengths i went to to keep this Relatively in character

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hypermoyashi · 6 years ago

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Okay, so, hi everyone? I’ve gotten some new followers, which is a bit surprising, and I’m sure some of you are aware of the discourse currently happening the mdzs fandom. Normally, as my about page states, I will not participate in fandom discourse under any circumstances, but as I was personally signaled out in this, I’ll be making an exception just this once. I’ll be placing everything under a cut just so those of you who don’t want this discourse showing up on your dash can avoid it.

Okay, so if you’re unaware, a blocklist was recently created of people in the fandom that minors should avoid/be aware of. I, as well as one of my good fandom friends, was on this list. I will not be posting links to said list in any way, shape, or form, as I believe it is poorly worded and just wholely not handled well in its original context.

I’d like to preface this entire post with one important idea: you curate your own fandom experience. I actually encourage blocking/blacklisting things and people who make you uncomfortable, just be respectful about it. You don’t need to announce it, or let someone know you’re blocking them. If I in any way make you uncomfortable for any reason, and you are uncomfortable talking to me about it to try and fix the problem, then please unfollow me, block me, or whatever will make you the most happy and comfortable. In the end, fandom is about fun, and it shouldn’t be taken too seriously. It shouldn’t be used to hurt people.

I can’t say I’m not upset that I and my friend were included, and while I don’t know most of the people on that list enough to make a judgment, based on the reasons my friend and I were listed, I don’t believe the judgment of the original creator of the list was wholly sound. For full transparency, I am going to include why I, personally, was signaled out.

The first reason is for my submission here: https://mxtxpositivity.tumblr.com/post/183334608470/fic-rec-realize-what-you-never-knew-by

The fic I recommended is a fic that the friend I previously mentioned wrote, and I recommended it because I enjoy it and I enjoy supporting my friend’s writing. Now, the fic in question is about the junior trio, but it is written in a context where they are older and not minors. To be fair, my friend did not tag for this, and the lack of a tag for it was not something that I, as her beta, caught, either. I don’t particularly intend to debate whether or not it’s okay to write sexual content about young characters after they’ve been aged up, as it’s a rather gray area and whether it will bother you will vary. If it does bother you, however, that’s perfectly valid and I encourage you to avoid it. Blacklisting is a wonderful thing, and ao3 now includes a function to exclude ships.

The second reason I was signaled out in this post is for this: http://hypermoyashi.tumblr.com/tagged/yaoi

And just so it’s clear that I have not altered or cleared this in any way, here’s a screenshot with the time and date in the corner:

I would scroll down to show you guys more of the tag, but there is none. My yaoi tag is just two posts. This is the basis for which I was said to “support yaoi.” I’d like to point out that one post is literally a criticism of the genre as a whole. I have no idea why I tagged the second post as yaoi, but it was reblogged three years ago. It is not something I would reblog and tag that way today. I’ve used the same blog, the same username, for well over seven years now. There is bound to be some stuff here that doesn’t reflect who I am today, and there is also bound to be things that I’ve mistagged or not tagged appropriately in the past. I do not have the energy to clean absolutely everything out, but if you would like to point something out to me, I will be happy to change it. For my purposes, I’m not going to be altering my yaoi tag, in case anyone wants to check it for themselves.

Now, just as an off-topic, I’d like to point out that I’m bi/gray ace. I don’t hate yaoi per say, but I do dislike the picture its common tropes paint of the lgbtqa+ community, as anyone who has spoken with me for five minutes about it can tell you.

This is all I was flagged for, but in the name of transparency, I am also going to include something that, had our original poster of the list seen, would’ve been additional reasons for me to land on the list.

I am writing an A.B.O. fic for HOB. It will also contain an explicit scene in the future, and it contains some pretty heavy triggers such as attempted suicide and CSA/abuse. I know A.B.O. tends to be controversial for many, many reasons, but for the record, all characters retain their full facilities during any and all explicit scenes, on or off screen, and are able to consent or not consent to what is going on. Anything of that nature that happens to a minor does not happen on screen and is appropriately tagged as CSA. I also do not endorse or want minors reading this fic, but I’ll get into that later.

Now, does any of this disprove that I’m a potential danger to minors? No, it does not.

For one, disproving a negative is an impossibility. To demonstrate this, I’ll be using the same analogy my statistics teacher used. You have a field. You’re looking for cows. To find some cows, you divide the field up into twenty sections. Unfortunately, you only have the capability to check five of the sections. You check these five sections, and you don’t find any cows. Can you say, for sure, that there are no cows in the field? Nope. Because it’s impossible to check every section, and there could be cows in the sections you don’t check.

I cannot open up the entirety of my memory and history to prove that I have definitely never hurt a minor. It is absolutely never my intention, and if I have, I deeply apologize for it. But I have no way of disproving a negative because it is mathematically impossible.

Now that we’ve gotten up to this point, some of you might be thinking, isn’t treating such a baseless accusation so seriously, in a way, giving it validity? Well, in a way, sort of. The accusation is entirely baseless, yes, and this is going to be the only time I’m going to argue something like this in this way. It upset me, and it’s there, so I want to address it.

Now, I’m going to reference my about page. Here it is:

The text reads, “Hello! I thought, after about five years of owning this blog, give or take, it was probably time to make an about page.

“I mainly write fanfiction, which is almost always posted to ao3 and linked here unless it’s particularly short. Minors are definitely welcome; I don’t reblog or post N**SFW images or videos, nor do I write smut, though please be aware that this blog is “view at your own risk.” I tag for common triggers and potentially harmful content, so it’s up to you to know your limits and blacklist appropriately. That being said, if you need me to tag anything in addition to what I already do, please don’t hesitate to ask!

“My fandoms right now are mainly Bungou Stray Dogs, Heaven Official’s Blessing, Mo Dao Zu Shi, Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens, Pandora Hearts, Vanitas no Carte, Akatsuki no Yona, and D.Gray-man. Please be aware that although I do have particular ships I like, I’m not really that into shipping as a whole.

“I don’t reblog shipping discourse nor will I interact with hostile shippers. If you would like to talk about shipping with me, please do, just be nice! As a bonus, I love platonic relationships, so please talk with me about those if you enjoy them, too.

“ところで、私の日本語はちょっとわるいですけど、話すのが好きです。

“Finally, I consider this blog to be a safe place for me and others that does not discriminate based on race, gender identity, sexual orientation, mental health, physical ability, national origin, or religion. If that bothers you, please click the “back” or “x” button on your browser.

“With all that out of the way, welcome to my blog! I love talking with people, so feel free to message me or leave an ask. I swear you won’t be bothering me. Happy blogging!”

Now, I am going to edit this at some point, because I have written smut now. It’s not posted, but it’s still something I intend to post. But yeah, as of 3/13 around 5pm, that was my about page, and I have not changed it for quite a while. (Sorry I’m not quite as chipper today ^^”)

One of the links on my about page leads to this page:

Which reads:

A quick guide to my tagging system!

my fanfiction: stuff I’ve written

text post: stuff I’ve made/said

q: things posted from my queue (it is a very long queue)

art by op: If there’s no source, then I’m reasonably certain that this art was created by the original poster. If I’m wrong, please let me know and I’ll delete it imeidiately.

icons: whenever I save an icon, whether I use it or not, I reblog it under this tag

personal and/or ramblings: just me talking. Sometimes I won’t even tag these kinds of posts

— mention: normally reserved for common triggers, i.e. “Donald Trump mention” or “sex mention”

n**sfw warning: as stated in my about page, I don’t reblog n**sfw images or videos, but I do reblog n**sfw fic recs (ie links to explicit content) that is unsuitable for minors. If you’re a minor viewing my blog, please blacklist this tag if you feel the need to!

spoilers: anything and everything I think constitutes a spoiler. Sometimes I’m bad about tagging these, though. I don’t tag for specific fandoms, like “su spoilers” or “bsd spoilers,” so please beware of that.

And, for reference, this is the basis for which I generally rate my fics:

G (General Audiences): Anyone can read this

T (Teen Audiences): Anyone 13+ can read this

M (Mature Audiences): Anyone 17/18+ can read this (16 is fine, too, I think, depending on what the reader is comfortable with. My M rated fics often include dark/sexual themes, though, so 17/18 is the more comfortable range)

E (Explicit): Only people who are 18+ should read this (probably not gonna rate anything this since I don’t write smut unless I just really don’t want to endorse any minors reading it)

Again, this should probably be updated as I have written smut, however infrequent. I try to tag for common triggers, and I have asked here that minors under a certain age not read particular fics. All of my fics that depict unhealthy relationships, darker or sexual themes, or anything that I would be uncomfortable with a minor reading are rated Mature or Explicit, depending.

So all in all, I have tried my best to provide a positive experience to anyone who enjoys my content, and I try to tag so that potentially harmful content doesn’t reach those that it might hurt. I’m not perfect, and I can’t control everything. A minor can still go in and read my Explicit/Mature fics on ao3, no matter how much or how loudly I ask them not to. My content is meant to inspire, to show that life can suck, but in the end, everyone is worth it and continue on.

And, on that caveat, I’d like to point out that I generally take a stance of “create and let create.” Freedom of expression is the greatest gift anyone can be given. Yes, avoid content that hurts you, but please don’t lash out at those who create it. Until you know exactly why they’ve created it, what their history is, and what thoughts or feelings they were working through while creating it, please leave them be. Creators should tag their works so people can avoid content that might be harmful to them, but content that is harmful to one person might be another person’s lifeline.

But the reason I’ve laid this all out is that I want you to judge for yourself. Do I seem like someone you want to be friends with? Do I seem like someone harmful? Do I seem like someone you are indifferent to? Please make the decision that is best for you, and if you happen to want to be friends, please let me know ^^

Now, finally, I hope to see a more positive fandom experience come of this. I say all this, however negative or bleak it might be for me, because it was important for me to work through my thoughts, and I hope that something positive can come of honesty and communication.

Please don’t go after the original poster of the list, if you know who they are. It’s better just to let it go. The person seemed to have had good intentions, however ill-executed they were, and talking to them is only going to create more ill will and negativity for everyone. I believe, at least in part, the reason their list is so unfounded and baseless is because the content they cited genuinely hurts them, and when creating the list, they did not look at the full context of everything they were citing. And, well, context is everything, really. This doesn’t really excuse them, as they still hurt people with a largely unhelpful and thoughtless post, but brewing the negative feelings helps no one. I would also like to state that the fact that the content hurts them is not the fault of any of the creators. If you tag appropriately, but someone doesn’t take the time to blacklist or otherwise protect themself from content they know will hurt them, then that’s on them.

Fandom is a really interesting place. It’s full of so many diverse and wonderful people--minors and adults, lgbtqa+ and allies, tons of different nationalities--we should really take more steps to look out for one another. If there’s anything I could be doing better, please let me know. My experience with the mdzs fandom hasn’t been great up to this point, and I want to change that. I love this show, and I also want to love the people who love it alongside me.

Remember, for every not so great person, there are twenty more lovely people just waiting to meet you. And I hope that, from here on, those lovely people get every good thing they deserve.

#discourse #csa mention #abuse mention #rape mention #suicide mention #really if you have any super common triggers please don't read this #not tagging the fandom #and it probably wont show up in the tags because looong #but yeah here is my only participation in discourse #id prefer no reblogs #but feel free to reply #or message me

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himbosims · 6 years ago

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The Simself Challenge? Is that what this is called? I have no idea. . .

The challenge is basically to make a simself then answer a fuck ton of question so here we are. Thanks @willowbomb and @sim-borg for tagging me. I’ll tag: whoever wants to do this because idk who hasn't done this yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Taylor

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? My childhood nickname was Tot. My friends call me d*ke and slut though so hey

3. BIRTHDAY? July 23, 2001

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? Series definitely The Mortal Instruments or the Infernal Artifacts by Cassandra Clare

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Both i think, definitely aliens. I don't fuck with ghosts and all that because I don't want to die

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? Right now my favs are Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? Where I live we have five stations, one that plays music from the 30’s all the time, three country, and one that says it plays pop but ends up playing country anyways. So, none.

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? Idk man, thats a loaded question. Probably vanilla

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? ??? lit… idk dude I was trying to think of something that's weird but I can't think of anything

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Be My Mistake by The 1975 or Not Warriors by Waterparks

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Serious answer, lunacy (there's a reason its my username) not as serious, I just heard someone outside yell for the chillin’s and I started laughing because that word is great

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? I’m currently listening to From Eden by Hozier

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Shameless, Glee, Shadowhunters, Grey’s. I could go on.

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN?Love, Simon, Call Me By Your Name, or The Perks of Being a Wallflower

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? Obviously

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Spiders and needles

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? nothing

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? Everything, in seriousness, my selfishness or narcissism,

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? Cats are my favorites but dogs are cool

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? Never have been

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? NOT AS MUCH STRESS

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Irl- my friend EJ. Online- @hallowiamshebsims

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Green

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? Read 23

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? Read 23

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? Read 23

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? I don't remember the last time I was excited for something

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? Writing I think

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? Hannah Montana, Ned Declassified, Drake and Josh, Flapjack, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Chowder, Rugrats. I'm a true early Gen Z kid

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? My girl best friend, I dont tell him everything because i'm a secretive bitch

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? Nah

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? Read 16

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? Both

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? Writing, reading, creating imaginary worlds to live in

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? I am almost done with History Is All You Left me by Adam Silvera and oh boy that book

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Paranorman: “You’re gonna love my boyfriend, he’s like a total chick flick nut.”

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? N/A

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Cats

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? @hallowiamshebsims @simmerberlin @willowbomb @pollinationqueen @gunthermnch

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? The ability to always have the money to pay for things

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? My room probably

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? People falling down, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJq4jWSQNd

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? That’s cute

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? Coffee

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? I have two teachers that are really weird about phones and talking in class so we pass notes instead

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? Nah

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? LOUD EATERS

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? I went to a christian concert when I was like 5 so there's that

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? Nope, I live in the south how do you expect me to not eat meat

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? Teacher since I live in the south and that's the only jobs beside retail or waitress in my town

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? The Shadow World, but I wanna be a warlock, not a dumb shadowhunter lol

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? Everything

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? I’m afraid of what's in the dark, which is a hard ass way to say yes

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? All the time but im tone deaf so its bad

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? If I was sick, yeah. Other than that, I did twice. Once because I had a really bad panic attack right before the bus got to my house and I called my mom claiming I was really sick, and once a few weeks ago because my dog got sprayed by a skunk therefore making me smell like a skunk

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? uhhhhhhh

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? New York City, LA, San Francisco, Toronto, Portland, London. Any big city to be honest

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? A dog and three cats

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? Both. I sometimes stay up super late and sometimes i'm up really early. And if I can actually force myself out of bed I can get a lot done in either of those times

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Sunrises

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? Yeah but im gay so its not good driving l

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? Everything that wont break in a week

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Nah

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I don't really have a favorite, I listen to all kinds of stuff

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Uhhhhh, Deadpool, or Spiderman

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? Nope

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? It takes a lot to make me angry but when im angry it's bad and I forget what i do when i was angry so i don't really know

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? Real

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? English and Creative Writing

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? Younger sister, younger step brother

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? A starbucks coffee last night

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5’7 or something

75. CAN YOU COOK? Depends on what i'm cooking

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? Books, music, friends

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? Racists, homophobes, sexists- so basically most the people in my town (hell what am i kidding, this side of the Mason-Dixon line)

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? One of each

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? I am on the ace spectrum and I am panromantic

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? ‘Merica the brave

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Sheb

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Like, yesterday

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? CallMeKevin RTGame The Shane Dawson squad

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? sometimes

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP?I guess this hell site

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE?My mom and I are kinda close, i don't really talk to my dad much (even though I live with him half the week)

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? Aussie, British, Scottish, Irish… all of them

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Everywhere that’s not my state and the ones touching it

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 23

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? notta

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? Yes, but not crazy religious. I just believe in fate and that there is some type of higher power

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? Nasa bitch

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? I have an issue with adrenaline. As in, although i am an anxious person with too much adrenaline anyways I like to do things that give me a rush of adrenaline

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? I can't have my eyes pierced because I'm allergic to metal in the sense of having it in my body

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Yep

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? Nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Next question

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? I mean netiehr, but i'm not a huge fan of sand

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? You’ve made it through your worst day before, you can do it again

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? I think so

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Sytherlin, not surprise

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? I’m talking to myself right now

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? Introvert

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? Nah, my writing is kind alike my diary

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give people too many chances

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Check the ID, maybe take the money and leave it in a bush or something. I don’t know

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? For sure

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? Please don’t tickle me

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Nope

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? Read question 94

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Alec Lightwood or Magnus Bane, but young Alec because I can't be friends with 27 year old Alec

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? Scared of needles, remember?

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? Doing things for me

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? YES

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? Both

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? Not really but if my future partner wants some i’d be open to talk about it

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? My ex-best friend. I used to hate how she never had to try to get good grades or be good at things, she just was

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? All my memories are embarrassing if you look close enough

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? At least twice a month

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? Nutruels and black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? Sure

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? I think I wa son the news once

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 17

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? I have a lot, “Words have the power to change us.” “perhaps it is because of time that we suffer.” “I remain a work in progress until I die.” “The thing you are most afraid to write, write that.” I could go on

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? Sweet

#long post #simself #ts4 edit #sims 4 edit #ls:edit #tagged

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cathwritessometimes · 6 years ago

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Anti Gravity | Episode 1: Weakness Ungnome

(I almost forgot that I had this side blog so I’m posting some of my fanfics from wattpad now. If ya wanna check out my content there my username is galacticath.)

Working at the Mystery Shack, the world's tackiest roadside tourist attraction, was not on Wendy's Summer Fun list. Getting a job was her dad's idea.

Dan Corduroy believed in hard work. And only being twelve years old was no exception.

Wendy practically had to drag herself to work on the first day of summer to her first day of work. It had been a week since she had started working, and it showed.

Her face held a contorted expression of disgruntlement as she pushed open the gift-shop door and pinned her name tag onto her green flannel shirt.

Wendy slumped across the empty room, took a broom from the supply closet, and began to sweep. Sweeping was the easiest task. You look like you're busy doing something while your actually trying to avoid work, and it was always perfect for secretly being lazy under Stan Pine's watchful eye.

"What's got'cha so sour?" Dipper spoke up from behind his book. He didn't even have to look directly at her, anyone could've sensed Wendy's bad mood from a mile away.

"Everything." Wendy muttered her reply.

It was embarrassing to be the only kid in your grade who had to work almost every day of the summer. Just that night Wendy had received a phone call from her best friend, Tambry talking about going to a Summer Bash Party at a local water park. She had lied and said her family was going camping. The truth was way to cringe-worthy to tell even her closest friend.

A pair of footsteps thundered down the staircase as Mabel burst into the room.

"Sup, ma peeps!" She exclaimed while leaning against the counter. Today her quirky sense of fashion consisted of Galaxy leggings paired with a black sweatshirt that had a pair of cat whiskers and the phrase "MEOW" printed across the chest.

"Don't forget your name tag." Dipper said without tearing his eyes away from his book.

Mabel grinned as she said, "Oh, you mean THIS bad boy?" She revealed a glittery name tag with her name written in a swirly font. She smiled proudly as she pinned it to her shirt and asked "What'dya guys think?"

Wendy wasn't much for glitter, but she smiled anyways. It was hard to be grumpy with Mabel around. Her quirkiness always seemed to get everyone in a good mood.

"HELP!" squeaked a terrified voice as Soos suddenly flung open the door and jumped behind the counter. His small body was vibrating with fear.

Dipper finally put down his book, "Woah, Soos! What's wrong?" he asked.

Soos sat up, his eyes wide as saucers,

"On my way here I saw these little people wearing super pointy hats, and so I threw a rock at one and they started CHASING ME!" He exclaimed, waving his small arms frantically.

Dipper stood up from behind the counter and turned to his sister as he said, "it's the gnomes again."

Mabel sighed and rolled her eyes as she mumbled, "I'll get the leaf-blower."

Wendy stopped sweeping. "Wait, what?" She wrinkled her nose, "Gnomes? Are you being serious?"

Dipper forced a smile, "Uh- no, we meant...uh it was probably just Gompers. You know how that goat will eat just about anything, he was probably chasing after Soos's lunch box again."

"But Soos said-"

"You know how Soos can be," Dipper pointed out, "overactive imagination."

"Ah," Wendy said with a slow nod.

She shrugged it off. You hear weird stuff like that all the time in a town like Gravity Falls. People always seemed to be making up the most ridiculous stories and myths, it was no wonder so many tourists showed up at a place like the Mystery Shack.

. . . . . . . .

24 Hours Later

. . . . . . . .

Wendy always wondered where Dipper disappeared to every now and then. Sometimes he'd announce that he was running an errand, other times he seemed to literally disappear. Same for Mabel, who instead always seemed to be ditching her shifts to hang out with her friends.

"I guess that's just what teenagers are like."

Wendy thought to herself this morning after Dipper and Mabel hurriedly announced their need to run a quick errand.

This meant that it was up to her and Soos to work by theirselves for the morning. Most people would think twice about letting twelve year olds run a gift shop on their own, but not Stanford Pines.

"Mornin' Wendy!" Greeted Soos as he walked through the door and flipped the CLOSED sign to OPEN. He wore his usual dark green question mark t-shirt and a tan baseball cap. His grubby fingers were curled around a bright red tool box that had been decorated with a variety of race car, dinosaur, and space themed stickers.

When Wendy met him on her first day of work, Soos had proudly introduced himself as the Handy Man of the Mystery Shack.

This, by far, had to be the most age-inappropriate job for a twelve-year old, thought Wendy. She couldn't help but imagine Soos accidentally burning down the Shack just by attempting to replace a lightbulb.

"Good morning, Soos." Wendy replied, climbing on top of the stool behind the check-out counter and pinning her name tag to her shirt.

She yawned so widely her eyes began to water. These working hours sure were taking a tole on her sleep. Wendy's eyes began to droop and she rested her head in her arms, hoping to get just enough shut-eye to be able to make it through her last shift of the week.

When she opened her eyes she found Soos was standing right in front of her, his face inches from hers. Wendy stifled a surprised scream.

"I can't believe those gnomes yesterday!" Soos exclaimed excitedly. Wendy could tell from the hyperactive twinkle in his eyes that the "gnome" incident of the previous morning was all he had been thinking about lately.

Wendy decided to go along with it. Sometimes Soos felt like her little brother, despite the fact that they were in the same grade. (Sometimes Wendy wondered if Soos was actually a toddler masquerading as a middle-schooler)

And as a sister-figure, it was her job to look after him.

"So what did they look like?" Wendy asked.

"They were about," Soos thought to himself for a moment before holding his hands about twelve inches apart,"this tall. With red pointy hats and long beards- like Santa!" he frowned, "except Santa's jolly and nice, these doods were real meanies."

Wendy nodded to show her understanding although she wasn't really paying attention. Her attention was drawn to Dipper who had just entered the Gift Shop, looking sweaty and flustered.

"Yo, Dippin' Sauce!" Soos exclaimed, holding up a hand for a high-five. Dipper smiled and returned the gesture.

"Hey, thanks for holding up my post."

Wendy had to bite her tongue to keep herself from smiling like a complete idiot as she stuttered, "It- it's no problem!"

Dipper ran his fingers through his thick, chestnut brown hair, "I'm gonna go freshen up a bit before starting my shift, it'll be just a minute."

Wendy smiled and waved as he headed upstairs, "Take all the time you need!"

She sighed in deep awe. She felt as if she were melting in her seat. Then she remembered that Soos was there too.

"Oh, sorry, Soos- what else were you saying about the gnomes?"

#gravity falls #gravity falls au #disney #gravity falls fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #cartoon #alex hirsch

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hotfleck · 4 years ago

Link

[Active Case Study] Generating Instant Traffic & Making Money Without SEO

I’ve always wanted to do an active case study and show my readers how easy it is to start a project online and make money out of it without needing to learn SEO.

You don’t even need to have a website to pull this off.

I have to admit that SEO is an essential part of any website, but it takes time and a lot of effort to understand the ins and outs of ranking a website, and it can also be a lot costlier.

This is why we won’t be using any of that in this case study of ours.

Who is this guide for? This project is for anyone who doesn’t mind making money online on autopilot. Once we have the system properly set up, we won’t be needing to do anything else, except watch how well our project works.

For anyone who has their own product or service, this is one perfect system to reach more customers without needing to have a middle man who’s going to charge you an exorbitant amount for meager results.

How does this work? Basically, we’re going to find a product/service that sells easily and then set up a system that will drive traffic to the product/service from a platform of your choice.

This is going to be running on autopilot and once we see favorable results, we’re only going to scale further up.

My choice of platform to drive traffic from for this particular project is #Twitter.

I’ll be sharing every process and results in this article as the project moves forward.

I also want this project to get more exposure in order to create a space for exchanging ideas in the comments section. In that regard, I will be using the same system to get more readers to this article.

More likely than not, you found yourself reading this article because the same system found you on #Twitter and brought you here.

Tools required There are 3 main items apart from your PC that you’re going to need for this project. The rest are optional.

A social media automation tool: Jarvee in our case #Twitter accounts A product to promote Once you start seeing great results, you might want to scale up your own project by investing in a VPS so that your project will run even when you turn off your PC and save power. You might also want to get more #Twitter accounts to target more users. This will require you to get a few proxies to use on these #Twitter accounts.

I want everyone reading this to follow along and not wait until this method becomes saturated and stops working as it should.

You don’t need to spend any money right now, just get the 5-day free trial of Jarvee and jump on board. You should be able to determine whether it’s worth continuing with it right before the trial expires.

Getting started There are 3 main steps we’ll need to complete in order to get this project off the ground:

Select a product/service Getting an automation tool (Jarvee) Setting up our #Twitter accounts on Jarvee and hit START . I will now go into detail about each step.

Selecting the product/service to promote You can skip this part if you have your own product or service.

For the rest of us who don’t have a product to promote, we’re going to need to work as affiliates of other people’s products/services.

You can do this by signing up on an affiliate website like ShareASale, Commission Junkie, Clickbank, and so forth. The important part of this phase of the project is to pick an item that you believe will sell easily.

You can always choose to go with your instinct and once you realize a product isn’t converting well, you should switch to promoting a different item, until you find one that converts well.

I’ve done a quick check of ClickBank’s marketplace and have decided to test out this product called ‘The Pinterest Business Plan’.

It’s a high-ticket item that goes for $497 which means I’ll be making quite high commission if I’m able to get a conversion.

I’m hopeful that’ll be able to generate at least one sale a day.

You can see from my CB dashboard that I haven’t been using my account in the recent past. Every sale that will be generated will have come out of this project.

Our social media automation tool of choice If this is the 1st time you’re hearing about Jarvee, watch the short video below to know what it’s about:

Get the 5-day trial of Jarvee and follow along.

Setting up our #Twitter accounts on Jarvee Once is installed on your PC, simply log in with the email you registered for the trial with, and the password they sent to your email.

When logged in, click on ADD PROFILE and select Twitter.

Fill in your Twitter username and password and then click on VERIFY ACCOUNT .

When verified correctly, it should say VALID .

There’s one particular feature on Jarvee’s tools that I want to use purposely for this project. This is the Retweet/Reply feature that you can find in the TOOLS menu.

We won’t be doing any retweeting but we’ll be automatically replying to relevant tweets based on keywords.

Now click on the Sources tab and select Reply to tweets based on keywords .

This section allows us to automatically search for tweets based on keywords and reply to them. It’s all going to be running on autopilot once we’ve completed the setup.

You probably know that we can not reply to every tweet with the same text. Doing that can only lead to our accounts getting suspended.

My plan is to reply to up to 50 tweets with one Twitter account per day.

I’m going to show you how you can create a few lines of text and use syntax to generate more replies from these texts.

Using syntax to generate multiple replies Let’s create a few generic replies and use syntax to create more. I’ll start with 4 simple ones that relate to the product I want to promote:

Hey (username), are you aware of how profitable Pinterest can be for small businesses? LINK I’ve found a really advanced Pinterest course for building a profitable business and I thought you should check it out: LINK Most people don’t realize how much of a goldmine Pinterest is for generating targetted leads for their business. Here’s a must-have Pinterest course for anyone looking to leverage the platform for generating targeted leads LINK I figured you could use this Pinterest course LINK The syntax on Jarvee works like this:

c will give out a, b, c, d OR e

So if you have Hey it will give you Hi, Hey or Hallo

Using that logic, let’s first edit each one of our sentences using syntaxes:

Hey [USERNAME], are you aware of how profitable Pinterest can be for small businesses? LINK To see how many replies we’ve created from that one text, go to Sp1n.me and paste the text. In our case, we’ve just created 24 different replies !

Moving on to the next text.

I’ve found a really advanced Pinterest course for building a profitable business and I thought you should check it out: LINK This gives us 40 different replies !

Hey [USERNAME]Most business owners don’t realize how much of a goldmine Pinterest is for generating targetted leads for their business. Here’s a must-have Pinterest course for anyone looking to leverage the platform for generating targeted leads LINK 70 different replies from our 3rd text.

Hey [FULLNAME] I thought you could use this Pinterest course LINK … and 10 different replies from our fourth text.

Now let’s put all the 4 texts together.

I’ll first create this simple syntax and replace each number with one text. 3

We now have our final reply: I thought you could use this Pinterest course LINK

This gives us 144 different replies .

Remember you can always write better and more convincing text if you want to see better results than what these simple ones can get me.

Because this product is best suited for small businesses and entrepreneurs, these are the keywords I’ll be targeting. It should now like this:

You can now click on ADD to complete this part.

Next, we’re going to go back to the Settings tab and set how many replies we want our Twitter account to perform per day. Once that set, we can now click on START and our campaign will start.

The next update to this article will include the kind of results I’m getting from this campaign.

Bookmark this page so you can always come back and keep track of the progress. It will be awesome to see how well this is working for you as well.

You can literally promote any product or service with this method, or just generate traffic to your blog.

Update It’s been almost 3 days since my setup was completed and my ClickBank dashboard shows that I’ve reached 567 hops on the product I’m promoting.

However, despite that many Hops, I haven’t made a single sale. This tells me that while the system works, I should probably switch products.

I’ve already found one that’s low-ticket and looks like it could sell easily and will start sending traffic to it before the end of the day.

Until next time!

#Twitter

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tronicplace · 4 years ago