#i all has been done already and i wanted to do something different

[lilipens]

✧. A LITTLE BIT OF REST.

Synopsis: Academics have been gradually taking a toll on you, with each assignment and exam building on the last. Lately, it’s become more noticeable—how the stress chips away at your energy, leaving you drained. They’ve started to pick up on it, and each in their own way, they try to cheer you up. Pairing: All Dorm Leaders/Housewardens (Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, and Malleus) x Gender Neutral!Reader Warnings / Genre: N/A. Super duper Comfort, Fluff + Headcanons A/N: highly self indulgent LMFAO. not proofread sorry,,,, also just a quick heads up that i'll probably be posting during sundays more often due to school!

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS.

As someone who studies diligently and holds himself to high standards, Riddle knows exactly how it feels to be overwhelmed by the pressure of academic perfection. He doesn’t just observe your burnout from a distance— he feels it too.

When he sees you pushing yourself too hard, he knows what’s at stake, and his approach is much more calm yet purposeful. He won’t let you bury yourself in endless work without reminding you of the importance of balance.

Riddle values dedication but knows that pushing yourself too far isn’t strength. When he sees you struggling, he steps in with a clear plan to help you recover and stay on track. Using his own experience, he adjusts your schedule or breaks tasks into smaller steps, making things feel more manageable. His goal isn’t just to make you rest but to help you regain control in a way that feels doable.

Rest for Riddle isn’t just about taking a break; it’s about being productive in a different way. He’ll suggest a short time for reflection, perhaps guiding you through a mindful pause to help you reconnect with your goals and recharge.

Though he’s not one to openly express his own vulnerabilities, Riddle has an understanding of the mental and emotional toll of hard work. He provides you support not through grand gestures, but through his steady and practical care. It’s the small things that matter.

Hunched over your papers, your eyes barely staying open as you try to cram as much information as possible. The hours blur together as the pressure mounts. You don’t notice Riddle until he’s already there, standing by your desk with crossed arms. His gaze lingers on the scattered papers, and he steps forward.

Without asking, he begins gathering your messy notes. As he stacks the papers, he refuses to let the silence drag on. “I’m sure you believe this constant cramming is going to help,” he starts firmly, “but you are wearing yourself thin. This isn’t the way to do it.”

“Oh, come on, Riddle,” you protest, feeling conflicted. “You know I’ve got an exam way too soon… I can’t slack off.”

“The more you push yourself beyond your limits, the less effective you become. You’ve been at this for hours, and it’s clear your mind is no longer functioning at its best.” is what he immediately debates with.

You frown, reaching for your notes— Yet, Riddle moves them away from your grasp and he continues on. “You can’t keep going at this pace and expect great results. You’ll just make yourself worse off in the end.”

His blue-gray eyes lock onto yours as he pauses, his tone softening just a touch but still carrying that undeniable authority. “You’ve done enough for now. Take a break before you burn out completely. I won’t allow you to overdo it.”

You want to keep arguing, but his words settle in your mind, and the exhaustion creeping up on you makes it impossible to ignore. With a reluctant sigh, you do realize that Riddle’s right—you need rest, not more study sessions.

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR.

Direct and unfiltered, Leona wastes no time to call you out when he sees you overdoing it. He’s not one for flowery words or unnecessary concern. There’s nothing that can speak louder than his own actions.

And so, he’s able to somehow sense when you’re tweaking out with something, even if you’re trying to push through. His approach is straightforward, helping you reset before you hit your breaking point.

Leona is the type to catch the tiny to huge signs that you’re overworking, and he’ll take action without any warning at all. 

No patience for excuses. Leona doesn’t entertain any attempt to justify your stress. If he sees you trying to power through, he’ll just tell you flat out that it’s not working. Leave it be. He won’t stand around while you waste time on a subject that’s clearly draining you. Instead, he’ll give you no choice but to step back. His reasoning? If you’re going to make mistakes, at least make them while you’re not running on fumes. 

Will let you complain— then call you out. Leona knows that sometimes you just need to vent. He’ll let you grumble and complain about your studies, yet the second you go in circles, that’s where he tells you to quit it. No sympathy, no coddling—it’s just making you know that whining won’t solve anything. That’s his way of caring.

The numbers blur together on the page. Formulas spin around in your head like it’s some sort of ancient language, and nothing seems to fit. You rub your temples, frustration building as you stare at your notes.

“This is insane,” you groan, pushing the paper aside and running your hands through your hair. “How am I supposed to get this in one sitting?”

Next to you, Leona’s sprawled out, his tail lazily swishing and arms behind his head, completely unbothered from how messy your reviewing is. His eyes are closed, looking more relaxed than you’ve felt all day. 

You glance over at him with a heavy sigh. “This is ridiculous. I’m never gonna get this.”

Leona doesn’t even move, but he opens one eye. “What’s the point of complaining, then?” Doesn’t seem amused about your predicament either.

You freeze for a second, your brain scrambling to find some excuse to keep going. “No, well... I just need a little more time.”

“No, you won’t,” Leona states bluntly, which is pretty much true.  “You’re already failing at this point. Take a damn break already.”

You take another look at your lecture and slump back. Definitely not going back to that diabolical thing, so you toss your pen aside. “…Actually, taking a break sounds nice,” you relent, utterly defeated. 

Leona forms a tiny smirk on his face. “Told you.”

You give in with a huff, lying back on the grass next to him. The minute you stop stressing, the thorn on your shoulder disappears and you find yourself, surprisingly, more at peace than you’ve been all day. Leona’s just smarter about these things than you give him credit for.

AZUL ASHENGROTTO.

To Azul, burnout isn’t an abstract hurdle; it’s a problem with a clear, actionable solution. Much like closing a deal, he breaks the issue into manageable pieces, pinpointing what’s been putting you down and offering precise ways to address it.

Support from Azul is as seamless as it is intentional. He doesn’t overwhelm you with constant attention, nor does he ignore the signs of your stress. Rather, he intervenes faintly, leaving a refreshing drink beside you or proposing an unobtrusive break when the strain becomes too evident. It’s thoughtful and calculated, fitting into your routine with ease.

Relaxation is something Azul transforms into an art. When he insists you rest, it’s far from ordinary. He creates an experience: a calming atmosphere, perhaps a luxurious bath, or a lovely massage from yours truly. Every detail is curated to guarantee your recovery is successful

No favors without a price. Azul is a businessman at heart! And although he’s genuinely concerned, he’s not going to help you for free. But this time, his terms are different. What he asks for isn’t payment or a favor— it’s your commitment to take care of yourself properly. Rest and recharge, he insists, are the only things worth trading in this scenario, and he holds you to it.

Even as he maintains a composed exterior, Azul knows what it’s like to hit a wall. If you’re struggling or in need of a break, he’s not one to demand it. He’ll gladly offer his help without hesitation. Whether it’s lending a hand with the task at hand or encouraging you to obviously take a rest, he’s quick to make you feel you’re not left to push through alone.

From what’s happening, Azul doesn’t need to ask what’s wrong—he can tell. He’s already behind you, his hands already working at the tension in your shoulders that weighed as much as the books you had to read for an upcoming test. 

“Struggling, are we?” Azul hums, already knowing the answer to that question. As he continues working the knots from your muscles, his fingers press with intent. “If you think pushing through this fatigue will help you, you’re mistaken.”

His fingers move with an objective, easing the tightness in your muscles. "Rest now, and you'll be able to focus better later," he adds, as if it’s just as simple as that. "Trying to study while you’re exhausted isn’t going to help anyone." 

You feel the tension melt away, and despite yourself, you start to relax. Azul knows exactly how to make you see sense. Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s part of the process. And with his steady, gloved hands guiding you, you can’t argue with that logic.

KALIM AL-ASIM.

His positivity is contagious! When you're overwhelmed, Kalim’s first ever instinct is to lighten the mood and fill your space with good vibes. He focuses on bringing joy to the moment to let you un wind.

Recognizes when you need a break and insists on it. Kalim won't just suggest you rest—he'll almost make it impossible for you to say no! Whether it’s dragging you out for a fun activity or turning study time into a game, he’ll find a way to get you to step away from overdoing it tooooo much.

While his energy is usually high, he knows when to tone it down, if you ever tell him to. He’s totally okay with just being there for you!!

Encourages you to let loose. Kalim’s the type who knows when to push you to relax with a little spontaneity. He may not always be able to solve your problems, but he’s great at distracting you from them. Expect impromptu dance breaks or sudden trips out to take your mind off things. Expect a sudden food trip as well.

A signal that you deserve fun and joy. Kalim doesn’t just want you to get your rest—he wants you to actively seek out happiness, even when the work feels unending. His care for you goes beyond just helping you with burnout; he wants you to feel good in every way possible.

Ugh, these mountains of assignments before you feel insurmountable. No matter how many notes you review, the information just doesn’t stick. Kalim watches you with a concerned expression from across the room, clearly not fooled by your focus. And so, he slowly tip-toes his way to you.

Without warning, he’s up and out of his chair, grabbing your hand with a wide grin. “Alright, that’s it! No more homework for you! We’re going to do something fun!” he declares, pulling you up before you can protest.

“But Kalim, I need to—”

“Nope!” He cuts you off, leading you outside to an open area on campus. “You’ve been working hard, and now it’s time for some fun! You’ll thank me later!”

Despite your initial resistance, you find yourself enjoying with his antics. Kalim’s infectious energy is difficult to ignore, and before you know it, you’re not thinking about textbooks or formulas. After a while, the stress that had weighed you down earlier feels lighter, and you realize that, for once, you’ve actually enjoyed yourself.

“See? Now you’re ready to get back to studying, right?” Kalim asks, his smile bright as ever.

You nod, grateful for the reminder that taking a break is just as important as the work itself.

VIL SCHOENHEIT.

Prioritizes your well-being as much as your performance. Vil understands that success isn’t only about hard work; it’s also about taking care of yourself. When he sees you pushing too hard, he steps in with a nudge to make sure you’re looking after your own needs.

Vil knows that sleep is crucial for maintaining your appearance. If he catches you burning the midnight oil, he’ll quickly point out that lack of sleep can lead to skin problems. He won’t let you skip out on sleep, ensuring you get enough hours to keep your glow intact!

Pushes you to strive for excellence, but not at the cost of your health. Vil doesn't mince words. He’ll tell you that while excellence is key, it’s impossible to reach your full potential if you're physically or mentally drained. His tough-love approach aids you to rest guilt-free.

While he ensures everything you need is within reach, Vil steps back when necessary, giving you space while still overseeing that you’re on the right path. He knows when to be hands-off. What he wants is more about guiding from a distance, making sure you’re supported without being smothered.

Takes a no-nonsense step to self-care. Vil is not the one for empty comforts. When he suggests rest, it’s because he’s seen the signs that you’ve reached your limit. He’ll encourage you to take a break in a way that ensures you actually benefit from it. And that’s through mindfulness exercises or making sure you get full hours of sleep.

Feeling Vil’s hands as they gently rub the toner into your skin, you let out a sigh of relief. “You’re not going to retain anything if you don’t take a step back,” he chides, smoothing a serum into your face. “Your brain’s running on empty, and pushing through it will only make things worse.”

You hold onto your textbook weakly, but Vil silences you with a pointed look. “Studying can wait. Focus on yourself now.” He's firm, but the soothing rhythm of his movements suggests he’s already in control, seamlessly switching between products as he guides you through the routine.

By the time the routine is finished, you feel more at ease. All that clog in your brain has been cleansed by Vil. “You’ve done enough for today,” he tells you assuredly. “Now rest and recover. Your studies will be waiting for you when you’re ready.”

IDIA SHROUD.

Even if he's not the best at emotional support, Idia’s way of helping during burnout involves a combo of companionship and gaming. If you’re stressing out, he’ll slide a controller over to you or invite you to join him for a match—it’s for you to take your mind off things and go AFK from your studies for a while.

When you’re pushing yourself too hard, Idia will pull you away from your textbooks by loading up a game that's often Minecraft or some multiplayer game he’s grinding. He doesn’t really say much about your stress, though the simple act of playing together shows how much he cares about your well-being.

His ability to aid is kinda noob-level, like trying his best to lead you out of a burnout dungeon. He might rambles out of thought from time to time, making him worry you’ll get overstimulated. He’s not exactly smooth; still, his effort is there, even if he's not sure himself things will work.

While gaming together, Idia can be a bit of a tryhard, fully immersed in the game and urging you to focus on the mission rather than stressing.

Idia’s version of self-care is a bit unconventional (as if he takes care of himself properly), but if it means getting you to step away from your textbooks and level up the EXP you lost, he’s all in. He’s sure that winning a few rounds or building a house together is a surefire way to recharge.

You're scrolling through your inventory, trying to figure out where you want to build next. A farm? A simple house? Pixel art? The game’s peaceful enough since both of you are in creative mode. You glance at Idia, who’s still kind of lurking, hovering with his controller in hand, but he’s waiting for you to take the lead.

“So, uh... where should we make the house?” Idia asks, trying not to sound too eager but clearly wanting to get into it.

Without much thought, you pick a spot, pointing to a flat area by a river. “Here,” you mutter, a little more focused on building than anything else. “This seems like a good place to start.”

After a few more minutes into the game, you start to gradually get more energetic. He’s quiet now, looking over you as you get more into it. You’re starting to improve, and he can’t help the small sense of relief that washes over him. It’s a little thing, watching you regain your focus and energy. But, it means the world to him.

MALLEUS DRACONIA.

Malleus is keenly attuned to the smallest details, a habit shaped by his nature. His observation picks up on the tiniest shifts in your demeanor—the signs of stress, exhaustion, or when something feels out of place in your routine. He might not constantly show it, but he’s always watching (in a good way).

When it comes to burnout, Malleus is unfailingly gentle. He won’t pressure you into rest, and offers you to step away from what's keeping you in a hassle. A calm walk in the garden becomes his suggestion, a chance for you to breathe.

Malleus knows he does not need to be forceful. He never demands rest, respecting when you prefer solitude. If you need time to yourself, he’ll watch from a distance, assuring you're okay without intruding on your space. His care isn't as obvious, but you know he's always there, guarding you. After all, you are his favorite person.

Having been isolated for much of his life, Malleus is deeply aware of what it feels like to be overlooked or having to mask turmoil. He recognizes when you're retreating into yourself, and without making a big show of it, he makes his presence known. It’s not about asking if you’re okay—it's just how he shows you that you are not alone.

Malleus’ care doesn’t shout; it’s felt in silence. It’s when he talks to you to take your mind off things. He’s not trying to fix you, merely offering light when everything feels heavy.

Ah, finally. Some fresh air that keeps you refreshed. You walk side by side, taking in the breeze. Malleus walks with his usual regal presence, though every so often, his eyes wander, taking in the details of the scenery.

"Do you think gargoyles are more than just statues?" Malleus suddenly inquires, innocent curiosity laced within his tone. It's as if he’s pondering the thought out loud. "I’ve always thought they have more purpose than being mere decorations."

He takes a little peak at you, eyes gleaming with that same intensity. "In my homeland, there are gargoyles that watch over the castles. Sometimes, I wonder if they’re meant to protect the place, like guardians."

He pauses for a second before turning to you again, that soft smile of his still visible on his face. "What do you think, human? Are they just stone, or do they have some deeper meaning?"

It’s a random thought, but you can’t help feeling endeared by Malleus’ strange musings. He’s not seeking a response, just casually sharing what’s on his mind. You're not complaining. This is better than having to study all those lectures again and again.

© lilipens

[ivy-elle]

“This is not gonna happen”

Or: How He Defends/ Protect You

Feat. Albedo, Scaramouche

Albedo

The sunset is already about to start while you hurry through the streets of Mondstadt, trying to avoid any of the Knights of Favonius in case you get talked off by them.

You’re supposed to meet up with Albedo in front of the city to watch the sunset at the cliff – or rather, Albedo wanted to paint and had invited you to keep him company. Only, your work has held you up longer than expected and now you fear Albedo has either gone without you or, poor guy has been waiting all alone by the bridge.

“By Barbatos! Are you completely-“ You come to a shrieking halt at the same moment a middle-aged man stumbles a few steps backwards, clutching his chest in shock.

Swallowing back a curse you hastily squat down to reach for the firewood he dropped in his distress. “I’m so sorry, Simon. Are you alright?”

“Am I-?”

When you glance back up, you’re surprised by how red his face has turned. Perhaps ‘alright’ wouldn’t be a suited term indeed.

“Say, are you out of your mind! How dare you startle me that immensely?”

Slowly, you rise back up, the woods now secure in your arms.

“Have you got not manner – You should be ashamed of yourself!”

While Simon keeps insulting you, you are admittedly a bit taken aback by his sudden outburst. Of course, it’s not nice to be startled out of now where but – no need to act so harsh, right?

But when he keeps raising his voice and is now basically screaming straight into your face, you get back on track and steady yourself, because how dare he just treat you like that?

“Sir, there is no need to shout” you interfere his triage of rage, feeling your own anger rising, “I can hear you quite well. Besides, no huge enough damage has been done to justify losing one’s civil tongue.”

Simon's eyes flash in fury at your words. “Civil tongue? Have you lost the last of your senses? You should be begging for forgiveness for me not to report the incident to the Knights of Favonius.”

Before your frustration gets the chance to slip through your lips in a way less than civilised response, you feel the gentle touch hand on your shoulder.

“Excuse me. Is something the matter here?”

It’s only when you turn and see Albedo at your side, do you also notice some bystanders who have stopped at the commotion and are now exchanging curious glances.

Great. This is gonna be the talk of town tomorrow.

But despite the situation, Albedo’s presence has its usual calm effect upon you, and you feel your anger settle. A bit at least.

Even Simon seems to paddle back and settle down in his current outburst.

Albedo’s eyes find yours, searching for answers he probably already concluded himself. “Are you alright?”

You nod slowly. “I’m alright.”

His eyes sweep over you once more, before he turns to Simon. “Sir, has there any harm come to you or any of your goods?”

Simon huffs, crossing his arms defiantly. “As far as I can tell, the woods are fine.” Only then does he seem to realise you’re still holding said woods in your arms and his eyes dart to you, narrowing. 

As if sensing another upcoming dispute, Albedo subtly steps in front of you, before declaring in his own appeasing and soft-spoken manner, “While I understand your discomposure, Sir,” he states and you notice his voice also contains a certain firmness, “it is not right to treat your opponent with such approach. It will fuel only more ire, and the outcome won’t serve any of the parties.”

You keep your eyes on Simon, watching the different emotions swirl through his face. Anger, frustration, confusion, and then something akin to disappointment. He nods slowly, but also a bit taken aback by Albedo’s calm demeanour, not knowing where to disseminate his emotions now.

Simons huffs again, almost unsure how to react, so he grabs the wood out of your arms, while deliberately avoiding looking at you and grumbles. “Alright, well, uh, I might’ve just lost my nerves there.”

 “I apologise for startling you," you respond to which he nods once, still avoiding your gaze. His eyes dart to Albedo before clutching his wood and stomping off.

Albedo, who notices the bystanders starting to whisper to each other, gently takes your wrist and guides you past the gates, to the outskirts of town.

The sun is already setting as you stroll quietly along the bridge. You feel his hand on the small of your back, gently leading you forwards.

After a while Albedo breaks the silence. “I apologize if I overstepped by interfering in the dispute. But I did not appreciate the way Simon talked to you, let alone reacted to the incident.”

“I think you handled it fairly eloquent.” A smile tugs at the corner of your lips as you glance at him from the side. “The People of Mondstadt are all prone to temper their anger at your demeanour. You’re quite liked among them.”

Albedo gives a soft, amused huff, meeting your eyes. “My dear, I believe you are merely biased in that matter.”

Scaramouche

“With all due respect, Ma’am, but I’ve already been assigned a different role for this mission.”

Your superior Nomura regards you with a sharp look – not even your averted eyes could alleviate the goosebumps crawling down your skin.

“We’ve established this change of plan to be the best strategy, Agent. Are you refusing your duty?”

“No, Ma’am.” You cross your arms formally behind your back, trying to keep your frustration at bay. It’s not unusual for you to be subjected to whatever hell she offers, but normally she at least knows to inform you in an appropriate timing about something as important as that.

“However, I would require time to assess the new circumstances and gather the needed information.”

Nomura tightens her lips as if she’s annoyed by your presence alone. “That won’t be necessary. We do not have the time, and I believe your skills to be sufficient to assess the situation when it arises. Do we understand each other?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Again, you keep your voice neutral and expression unbothered while you watch her return to the rest of the divisions, which are waiting by the river.

Archons, why couldn’t Nomura inform you earlier? But alas. At least she has trust in your skills.

You huff quietly to yourself as you head to your new division, however Scaramouche’s sudden presence next to you holds you back. How can this man be so fast all the time?

“And where do you think you’re going?”

Even though Scaramouche outranks your Superior – and following that logic you as well – by a long shot, you feel your posture loosen up almost immediately. A familiar calm settling down your bones.

“I am off to act as a scout at the front. To make certain, the area is clear.”

Scaramouche’s eyebrow arch at that “You’re tasked with reconnaissance?”

“Not quite,” you explain, trying to overplay your irritation, but failing miserably. “I’m to remain there until the rest of the division arrives.”

Almost instantly his expression hardens, knowing the dangers and risks of that position. “Who distributed these roles? And more importantly - why have I not been informed?”

You cross your arms in front of you, suddenly feeling like you have to defend yourself in some sort. “It was a last-minute change. I was also informed just now.”

“Are they truly that incapable of decent strategizing? How utterly predictable.”

He lets out a slow, disdainful sigh before he flicks his gaze over to you. “And just so you get this straight, you will certainly not go.”

“What?”

“Are you deaf?” He scoffs and adjusts his collar, feigning nonchalance. “I will not risk my agent for some stupid reconnaissance task. You will remain at my side at the front, as it was originally planned and where your skills are suited best.”

The tone of his voice makes clear there’s no room for discussion left and yet you take a deliberate step closer to him.

“Scara,” you say, wanting to make sure no misconception remains, “this mission needs scouts to clear the area. I can manage that by myself if needed.”

“We’ll manage without scouts.” Scaramouche lets his gaze linger a moment too long, then his eyes narrow. “Or are you questioning my leadership?”

You huff. “This is ridiculous. My role isn’t that important to risk an entire mission for.”

The hardness in his eyes melts away and then he turns to the side, as if suddenly bored of the conversation.

“It is to me.”

Scaramouche keeps his gaze focused on the forest. His voice devoid of any emotion, merely an irritated frown has settled between his browns. “And now shut it, we’re heading off. I’ll handle your superior.”

[jsmainblog]

shoulder to cry on - spencer reid ⋆｡‧˚ʚɞ˚‧｡⋆

requests are always open <3

spencer reid x bau!reader,

summary: after a particulary bad case which upsets you spencer offers you some comfort

warnings: light angst, illusions to child murder/death/killing

fluff 💗/ angst 💔

It had been a hard case. Even just thinking about how everything turned out makes your eye's water and your throat raw. Sitting on the BAU jet staring out the window you grapple onto the ledge in your mind to avoid being dragged into the unforgiving hell of emotion surrounding the case.

Most the BAU team are asleep. All except for one. He sat quietly in his seat seemingly engrossed in the book held in his nimble hands that you have come to known better than your own. You notice the way his eyebrows furrows, or the way his lip curls, or when he's looking at.. you? Your eyes dart away quickly. You know they are red rimmed and glassy and if anything Spencer knows when somethings up. Even just one glance and he could tell. Having a profiler and genius as a boyfriend has its pros and cons sometimes.

Spencer stands, his long limbs seeming unsteady as he comes and sits next to you.

"Hey" he says gently. He gives you that smile. The smile that makes you wanna melt, the smile that makes you believe everythings okay, the smile that you want to confide in.

"Hi"

"So I know you probably not having a allergic reaction, and I know its hayfever season, and I know you probably didn't put any contact lenses in so are you going to tell me whats wrong?" he says gently trying to inquire about your emotional state without pushing you. Your heart can't help to flutter. He knows you so well.

"Is it about the case?" he inquires again. When your eyes dart away you see a saddened, almost sympathetic look befall his face and he sighs.

"Baby, you couldn't have saved them you know that. There in a better place now, a place without pain. Please sweetheart don't blame yourself, I know it's tough but I can't sit here and watch you be so upset." he murmured.

"I know that Spence but if I did something different I could've...I could've saved them or at very least one of them. I didn't.. I didn't want to fail them." you choke. You feel his arm wrap around your shoulder and a tender kiss placed to your temple.

"You saved a life angel. Thats better than saving none okay? One kid is going home back to their mom and dad. One baby is going back to their parents." he mused. When a raw sob cut through your throat and tears spilled over the already sensitive rim of your eyes Spencer pulls you into a tight hug. His splayed hand rubs circles on your spine, his other hand which rests on your hip, rubs your hip bone with his thumb.

"Sshh shhh. Your okay, your gonna be okay lovely. I'm here don't worry." he mumbles into your hair pressing a kiss to your crown. You sob quietly into his chest as his warm palms and lips attempt to comfort you.

"Oh my sweet girl. I know, I know. I'm so sorry angel. Deep breathes for me now." he mutters. When you finally lean away from him revealing your tear stained face he wipes his thumb over travelling tears. Spencer looks like his heart is aching, which in reality it is. He's seeing the girl who he cares so deeply and eternally for break down in his arms for something she was no control of.

"I'm sorry." you say bashfully a weak smile tugging at your lips.

"Sweetheart what are you sorry for? If your sorry about being upset you have absolutely no reason to be sorry for. Infact, if you didn't get upset I'd be even more worried. You don't have to be sorry for being human baby, or having emotions, everyone on the team has probably done this in the jet bathrooms if I'm gonna be honest." he says trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Really?" you say a bit shocked. You thought the other team members where so resilient, acquired through years of emotional berating from cases and a 'if it happens, it happens.' attitude.

"Course we do. JJ always has to have a minute after some cases revolving around children, Morgan with pedophiles, I do with those who are struggling mentally. Some of us aren't as strong as we think. But its okay, at the end of the day we know we've tried our best and if we've at least saved one life we are happy. Its better to focus on what went right rather then mulling over what went wrong." Spencer explains. It shocks you again, you've noticed BAU members having unusually long time spent in the jets bathroom but you didn't think it was for crying at all. It comforts you a little, while yes your teammates, your friends are in pain at least they feel the same way you do. At least they can understand.

"I think you should sleep sweetie, I think it would be good for you. You know because you can't think in your sleep. Well actually you can, you process your thoughts and events from the day subconsciously, and you dream, and you can wake yourself up from thinking when you are asleep. I'm not helping am I?" he rambles.

"No, not particularly."

"You wanna sleep on me? I don't want to sound full of myself but I think I'm more comfy then the jets headrest." he suggests.

When your head drops to his shoulder and your eyes close, you don't feel like your head is a swarm of bad memories and thoughts surrounding the case being played on loop its just filled with thoughts about Spencer. Mainly on how grateful that you have such a sweet, loving boyfriend in your life. At that point in time you knew that you love Spencer, that you are inlove with him and it fills you with ease because you already know he loves you back.

[dalliancekay]

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.”

Joseph Heller, Catch-22

I don't yet know how to explain this... And will probably mess it up. But I think that in fiction, sometimes in life too* and in my case, obviously particularly I'm talking about Good Omens here - people often forget that if something terrible does not happen, that it was going to be fine all along** and the character who was worried about it, was overreacting (being stupid, cowardly, uncool, wimp, sissy etc etc).

It was @seaweednpeanuts who put this idea in my head and now I'm trying to express my thoughts on it.

You know how people tend to joke that Aziraphale and Crowley do nothing in S1 and are completely useless and isn't that hilarious, but aww, we love them anyway, the two idiots etc? Sure, it's funny but it's also not true.

When Aziraphale says:

He doesn't mean - 'we are completely useless'.

He means they messed up as far as it goes for things they were supposed to be doing. And even thought they were doing. They didn't double check they were raising the right baby for example; they perhaps could have (but Adam grew up the best human he could have been - by well.... sheer accident? Fate? God's actual Plan?).

If they weren't both so good and kind and dither so much trying to find other ways to stop the Armageddon (I’m looking at you Aziraphale), they could have found Adam in Tadfield and kill him. And if they were truly with their respective sides... well, it all would have gone very differently too.

That's one thing.

They messed up, sure, as far as big grand Ineffable Plans go and nothing went the way they imagined (or were told) but they still played an important role in bringing the whole Armageddon and War plan down. The point is, that everyone there did. In some way. From Anathema to Adam's dad.

Just because it was fine in the end doesn't mean a real possibility of Armageddon wasn't there. Not unless you want to take away all the agency away from Az and Crowley (which is the eternal debate over an omniscient God anyway).

And it's the same across millennia. Just because Aziraphale is extremely cautious about his words, Crowley's words, their actions and the possibility of them being watched or overheard and punished for working together, doesn't mean that the possibility wasn't always there.

It doesn't even mean that the possibility couldn't still be there.

GIF by @i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky

They aren't safe. They've never been safe and there was never anywhere to hide or run to.

And Crowley knows that too.

"You'll be amazed at the kind of things they can do to you, down there," he said. "I imagine they're very similar to the sort of things they can do to one up there," said Aziraphale. "Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy," said Crowley sourly. "Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?" "Sure," said the demon. "There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass-" "I meant afterwards." "Oh."

They have suffered already so much; even if they did manage to keep their Earth jobs and their friendship for over 6000 years. Their existence was always fragile.

Aziraphale gets blamed so very often for how cautious he is.

I hate it when this line gets weaponised against Aziraphale. (Yes, I admit, even in fics.) Because, he has nothing to apologise for. He couldn't have done anything differently. There is no way Crowley could would e v e r blame him for saying no to a date. For never saying out loud how he really felt. What he really wanted.

Those things were impossible. And even though Crowley offered, if you actually watch his face after Aziraphale refuses, he is not angry or bitter or offended (as many metas and posts would have him feel). He's sad and thoughtful. Because Crowley knows exactly how much he is loved and cared for by that refusal.

F15 is so tragic because once again, Aziraphale is reminded they are not free. That they are not safe and they have not been left alone.

And this time

he's truly furious about it.

*Controversial perhaps, but you know all those feel-good posts and quotes about asking people in retirement homes or something what'd they have done differently and what are their biggest regrets and they all say (or at least the published picks say) some sort of - I wish I worked less, tried less hard to make money, spent more time with kids and family etc...

Well those can fuck right off. Because I believe that most people would absolutely want to spend more time with their friends and kids and family and less time at work and constantly worrying about money. But that's not how life works, is it. Just because I was lucky so far and managed to pay all bills somehow, doesn't mean that I can just stop worrying about them, does it. Next time, I'd love to know the places these quotes are coming from. Just because Donald didn't spend time with family and is now dying alone doesn't mean his regrets and have anything to do with Tom on the other side of town who worked 3-4 jobs at a time his whole life and his biggest regret anyway is not trying harder (he couldn't have tried any harder) so his kid wouldn't have to work part-time job while at uni. Donald was always a jerk and his regret should be that he was a jerk and didn't pay his taxes so people could stress less about what happens when they lose a job.

Anyway. Rant over.

I know Aziraphale will win his love and his freedom and his happiness. But that doesn't mean that his worries and his caution and his anxiety were ever unfounded.

** When Gabriel claims that most things are fine in the end, he's not exactly contributing to it, is he. It's Aziraphale's stubbornness and caution that keeps him safe.

[sunsetsover]

of course! like i said to you already i think it's so interesting that they differ so strongly on these points considering how aligned our opinions on things have been so far!! and it's fun tbh !! and likewise i would never want to change your mind either, but i also i wanted to address the stuff you brought up just to see how vastly our opinions differ

like it's just so weird bc i don't see what you see at all. i've always got the impression bison is kinda just like 'urgh ok let's do this then' when it comes to killing. like it's a chore. like he's being put out every time they have to do it. even in ep 1 i got the immediate impression that he would've rather been literally anywhere else than in that hotel room w that guy, and was out of there literally as soon as he could be, and i just personally wouldn't think that he'd be so eager to get it over and done with and leave if he was getting any kind of joy or satisfaction out of it, yknow? like wouldn't he be radiating satisfaction after a job well done? wouldn't he wanna bask in the afterglow a bit?

and i'm definitely not gonna sit here and pretend that it's bc it bothers him and he's morally opposed to the killing !! i don't think it's that at all, he definitely dgaf abt killing ppl and wants out for purely selfish reasons, we agree there, but i've never thought 'oh he likes this' beyond that one moment in that first scene, and again, i don't think that was a killing thing but a power thing. bc he was relieved when fadel turned up and they could get it over and done with, and again, he was out of there at the first opportunity. to me there was never any satisfaction there, it was just a job to be done.

even in that gif i don't see what you see, though i CAN see how you see what you see, if that makes sense? like i get where you're coming from, there's definitely a contrast, but i personally look at that and think well. fadel's bigger and likely stronger, and the guy he's knocking out is already unconscious and no longer fighting. bison is smaller and the guy he's dealing with is putting up a fight. that face, to me, is literally just him struggling physically. so i think what you're reading as enthusiasm to me is just the contrast between fadel and bison as people: fadel is stoic, and bison is dynamic. fadel shuts up and gets on with the task at hand, bison struggles and complains and huffs. but that, as far as i'm concerned, is just their personalities and nothing more.

although, weirdly enough, i definitely get what you said abt the sadism thing. it's something i've gone back and forth abt myself, and i still haven't made my mind up yet - whether the two are separate in bison's mind or not. either way, i think to me there's a difference between taking pleasure in killing and taking pleasure in hurting people. i think if the two were conflated, we would see that manifested by now. like he'd be fucking with people a lot more during these hits if there was a connection i think. instead all he does is do his job and move on. i think if anything bison gets off on the psychological aspect of it all as opposed to anything physical, but that would go back to control and power, which is what i've always said is bison's thing. i don't think that really has anything to do with the actual killing part of the equation personally.

i also don't think bison views lilly as evil or disbelieves her! but i also don't think he's.... enthusiastic in his part in all of this? he's not like keen. but i think that leeway is necessary when it comes to bison. it's not bc she likes him more or treats him special bc she acc considers him special, i think it's bc lilly is clever and she knows the harder she tries to rein bison is the harder he's going to fight, so she gives him the illusion of power, of referential treatment. she lets him question her to her face with no real repercussions. but that's not bc she likes bison, it's bc she knows how to manipulate him. she knows how to manipulate fadel too. and while i said he's under her thumb, i didn't really mean it in the sense of him being on her side, but rather fadel - at least to me - is far more caught in her trap than bison is. yes fadel lies, but i don't think he's being strategic so much as he's doing everything he can to not rock the boat. probably bc he's already rocked it once and paid the price. if it wasn't for bison - and by extension kant and style - fadel would have been perfectly fine (maybe not fine but ygm) leaving everything exactly the way it was. he literally says that, both to style during his confession and to bison last ep. and ok he's definitely lying abt how happy he was w the way things were, but the point still remains that he had no intentions of changing anything. which is why i wouldn't say he's strategic at all, bc that to me implies he's planning something, and fadel clearly wasn't. he didn't even wanna let bison ask for a break.

and while i don't disagree that bison probably does trust her more than fadel given everything, i don't think the fact that he speaks up has anything to do w that personally. i think that's literally just a personality thing. i don't think being sneaky is bison's thing - it's why he struggled so much pretending to be in love with kant after he found out the truth while fadel seemingly had no problem w it at all. bison's outspoken bc that's literally just who it is. i don't think him going behind her back - or anyone's backs - is really an option for him, esp not for long periods of time. (also im just not sure what you mean abt fadel going behind her back? fadel lies to her abt the dating thing, but as far as i can remember any sneaking fadel is doing bison is also doing, so am i blanking? have i missed smth?)

i think it all boils down to what you view as enjoyment, i view as just fundamental personality differences between bison and fadel and how they express themselves. which is fun! i love the difference! it's what pushes us to expand our own views of these characters ! i just thought i'd expand on this bc obv i was limited in the tags and you know i loveeeee to talk 💞

just woke up in a cold sweat because i think i’ve realized exactly what all the fucking religious symbolism is actually pointing out and like hoooooly shit. holy shit.

the fact that bison wears a jesus shirt in his fantasies of killing kant has been nagging me since the moment i realized it and i think i’ve realized why it is - and the reason for all of the things pointing towards and symbolizing bison as jesus.

it’s because that’s how bison views himself. not as actually jesus and the second coming, no, but he views himself as righteous, as a reckoning for all these people that they kill. he believes their mother when he says they only kill bad people, and that’s why he gets so much enjoyment out of it, why he involves himself far more in it than fadel, who always detaches himself. it’s why he delights in the idea of killing kant now, fantasizes about it, because he thinks that’s what’s right. kant betrayed him, and he’s a good person. he’s righteous. so that means kant deserves to die for it.

and that’s why kant is judas the betrayer AND john the beloved. because when bison knows it’s coming and turns a blind eye, he views himself the same way as jesus turning a blind eye to judas’s betrayal. and he’s the one the makes kant into john the beloved finding the tomb empty first because he hides from him (notably after kant had confessed to not wanting to lie to bison anymore)!

bison views himself as righteous. as jesus.

but he’s not. because jesus would never take joy in killing anyone. jesus would never have fun with it, in the same way bison does. and even if he did, jesus wouldn’t want to stop to date.

but you know who doesn’t take joy in any of it? who detaches himself from it? who seems, in the very least, suspicious of their mother?

you know who’s birthday is on christmas?

fadel. and if fadel is jesus… then bison can’t be. actually, i think that might make bison far closer to judas the betrayer. and that’s just awfully poetic, isn’t it? because didn’t judas think he was doing the right thing, too, when he sold jesus out? when he took money in exchange for telling the soldiers which one jesus was? just like bison thought he was doing the right thing when he told kant to get fadel off his back. just like he exchanged his brother for a lover and took them both down in the process.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

During the release delay, do you think she'll try to strongarm NF into fixing some of the issues that have been pointed out in the trailer? Or is it too late/not enough time and NF don't want to throw good money after bad at this point?

I don’t think there’s enough time.

She has roughly 7 weeks now and if this is already in the can, it’s going to be costly for Netflix to “reopen” the film for new edits because there’s no more crew/staff to work on it - everyone has already moved on to other projects. Meghan would need an entirely new tech crew (mostly editors and producers) to do the work. So hiring time, learning curve for what’s already been done, digging up the cut footage/outtakes, making the actual edits, reviews and approvals, etc.

And that excludes the possibility of reshoots. If the changes she wants requires reshoots as alleged back in December, then she needs an even bigger crew (lighting, sound, set design, props, etc.) plus the original property she filmed on - which is now an events venue/airbnb or something like that. There is literally no time for that kind of rework. (It’d be a different story if she filmed in her own home because she’d already have the access.)

That said, if they’re still working on the series and there’s still crew attached, they could probably make minor changes.

But I think this is truly 100% in the can. They wouldn’t have scheduled a release date, cut a trailer (and paid all that money for targeted social media ads), and decided on a binge release (ie to drop all episodes at once) without this being fully completed in the first place precisely because of how difficult Meghan is in the first place (owing to Netflix’s past experience getting Pearl developed and the docuseries released).

[iminyourwallsbabe]

Okay so I was thinking about Melvik last night because the streets(one person) asked for a Melvik playlist and I wanted to make sure I did it right and I think I've come to a conclusion about what the hell is going on with those two. There's so many different ways to interpret it, so I'm not saying this is objectively correct. We're in the corkboard with strings and pictures stage of shipping rn.

Okay so if we're being honest, there's not a lot to work with in terms of character interactions but there are clues in other places. One of the things I noticed is that they mirror each other. Mel has freckles in similar spots to Viktor's moles, she's the sun and he's the moon, she's covered in gold while Viktor has a lot more silver in his palette, she's a princess while he's some guy from Zaun but they're both fighting for legitimacy.

So they probably didn't like each other at some point.

Think about it, sometimes people who hate each other are exactly like one another. That bothers them. Maybe that was the case here. Then you add on the layer of their individual goals and I could see how they might clash. I could see how they might not understand each other at first.

I feel like after that, it probably became a game of cat and mouse. A rivalry if you will. It could've been academic, depending on how long they knew each other (we don't know). I could see there being a lot of competition in their relationship, but the thing is, it was never a fair fight. How is a man from the undercity supposed to compete with an exiled royal? You can't. People are more likely to give her what she wants than even consider your position just by default. And then you also have to consider that this is Mel we're talking about. A goddamn mastermind if I've ever seen one, if she didn't already have privilege on her side, she definitely has the people skills to compensate. It was probably frustrating, in a lot of ways.

But wait! There's more. There's something to be said about how the "evolved" humans are white and gold, Mel's colors. Even the way the gold is placed is reminiscent of her. Perfection, the peak of humanity, in Viktor's mind is Mel (and Jayce too if you remember that his little husk still kept a lot of his features, but his look was still inspired by her).

So in Mel, I think at first he saw everything he lacked and it was pissing him off. That probably stemmed from his need to get where he wanted to be quickly, because he knew his time was limited. Like fuck, I'm gonna die and you're in my way by being better at everything.

For Mel, I think she saw everything she wanted to be. Self assured, with direction in life. Peace is such a broad goal to have, living up to your mother's standards is a little more specific, but what does she want to do for herself? Where does she want to be when it's all said and done? Wherever she's been told she needed to be? In a throne or a seat at the council's table? Viktor knows what he wants, he sees it clearly, and he couldn't care less about anybody's standards or expectations besides his own. There's something so ruthless about that, and Mel envies it.

What I think changed with them is an understanding, realizing that it would be more useful for them to work together and be on the same team rather than continue to compete with one another. But how do we get there? Judging by how most of the romance in Arcane works, it was probably sex. I'm not even joking, this is a consistent thing. Jayvik? One of their key moments together involved Viktor saying "wait this isn't my bedroom", Mel and Jayce's relationship was kind of confirmed with a sex scene, Vi started flirting with Caitlyn in a brothel of all places and then LATER there was the whole thing in the prison cell, are we seeing the trend here? Sex and arcane go together like Jinx and explosions.

Anyway, right, back on topic. So yeah, I think unlike her relationship with Jayce, things were not nearly as thought through with Viktor. It definitely feels like a spur of the moment kind of thing, probably involving alcohol. Let me explain. I'm probably not going to phrase this right, but somebody else explained the bond between these two sort of like magnets. They attract and reject each other at the same time. They're so similar that by all means, they could be together, but something keeps pushing them away from one another. Knowing Mel's relationship with trust, and Viktor's relationship with time, this could make perfect sense. This could give way to some very complicated feelings. Knowing Mel, that wouldn't have been good. But then you start to remove those inhibitions, either through something artificial or just heightened passions, next thing you know shit happens.

Now we're in what I wanna call the situationship era! Because god forbid our favorite metal eugenicist has a committed relationship ever.

Mel doesn't know what she wants out of this so it stays casual for a while, Viktor wants more but he's scared to ask because he doesn't wanna scare her away. He knows she's conflicted about it, otherwise she wouldn't act the way she does. Still, it drives him fucking insane. He could die within the next few years, he doesn't have time to be playing will they/won't they. Especially not when the most perfect woman- no, person, he's ever seen in his life is right there in front of him. It's several months of "maybe we should stop doing this", that attracting and repelling I was talking about, with no conceivable end, but eventually it does. Eventually they both find they have better things to focus on than this. Not that they don't love or care about each other anymore, but the stress just isn't worth it. The world needs them, and they can't keep holding each other back.

However, that's not quite the end of their story.

In the words of our Lord and Savior, Shadow the Hedgehog, the light still shines even when the star is gone. They do try to keep their relationship as professional as possible, at least when there's eyes to see it. Outside of that though, it's clear that they're still attached somehow. Is it romantic still? That's up for interpretation, but regardless, no matter how much distance they put between each other, they'll always be drawn to one another.

Then here comes MC Hammer, and now the situation is like this. The moon (Viktor) revolves around the earth (Jayce), who revolves around the sun (Mel). They're all so interconnected now and if you take one out of the equation, shit gets messy. Can't take out the sun, the whole galaxy will collapse. Can't take out the moon, the earth will be in ruin. See what I mean? As Jayce and Mel get more serious, I think both of them wonder what could've been. They're happy where they are romantically but it's always something to ponder. What would it have looked like if Viktor was the golden boy, not Jayce? If they were the ones holding it down in those council meetings? What would it be like if her warmongering mother knew she was in love with someone like Viktor, someone so physically weak? Would she be rejected again? Would she approve based on the false notion that he was only a pet to her? That he meant nothing?

Maybe it's for the better that things are as they are, but when he thinks of what humanity can be at its peak, all he can see is her. When he's gone all she can hope is that he comes back to her. It's so beautifully tragic.

[yellowhollyhock]

I feel like both Don and Raph could have helped Leo during his ptsd arc. Raph would be the only one who understands Leo’s anger and Don would understand almost getting everyone killed in his cased killed cuz of SAINW.

super sweet idea! I think it's true that they both would be able to relate to him in different ways, and it makes sense they'd try to reach him on those grounds. To be honest, I think that's exactly what would make it difficult for them to help--or well, not by necessity, but what did make it difficult for them to help

Anyways you gave me an excuse to overanalyze Don's reaction to Leo's ptsd arc, and while I'm here I'm doing Raph and Mikey as well

Okay let's talk about Donny. I've thought about this one a lot. We don't ever canonically see him dealing with what he saw in that alternate universe, other than immediately after when he hugs Mikey and Raph. But we can imagine. He's already someone who puts a lot of pressure on himself (ie Underground City). Now the big threat that's been weighing so heavy on him for so long, the thing that he went to the future and saw there was no way to beat except to sacrifice themselves, is gone.

He can finally rest.

And I do feel like that's the attitude we see. He's eager to take out some aggression on the PDs when they show up at the farmhouse, but it's not Obsessive Mode Donatello. Compared to how we know he gets when he thinks something is his fault or that someone needs him help, he Chillin. Also he immediately develops a crush on Jhanna. I mean that's just one reading, but as a lesbo recovering from severe emotional repression I think I know the face of a traumatized soul seeking solace in the idea of a future and falling too hard too fast for Stronk Smort Gorl as soon as she gives him a bit of attention, not that I, ahem, have uh, direct experience or anything

Anyway

I think he's making a very deliberate choice to stop taking things so seriously--to be a kid for the little bit of time he has left to be a kid. To cling on tightly to his relationships with his brothers above all else, because he knows (and likely has it fresh in his mind) he could lose them. Goofing off with Mikey isn't a distraction, it's a priority.

And then Leo is doubling down on being child soldiers. To Donny, all that work they did was to escape that life. Taking down the Shredder should mean, from his pov, they now get to focus on just living, building themselves a little corner of the world they can just stay in and be happy.

I had a breakdown of multiple episodes demonstrating this but my app crashed and it all got deleted so just trust me ok

Big important example though: Dragons Rising. Yes, Donny understands the mission, he'll play his part to get it done, but even more pressing is to make sure he preserves the light in Mikey's eyes. Now that the Shredder is dealt with that's the next thing on his checklist to make sure that future never happens. They put on silly disguises. He wears a mustache and does an old man voice.

Then Leo doesn't see the exact results he wanted from a planned mission and chews them out for treating it like a game. I can imagine how much that remark would sting for Donny specifically, assuming his brothers know about what happened in that alternate dimension. (do you think old man Leo, listening to this sixteen-year-old insisting that they should go after Shredder again, this time they would win, ever said something, even very gently, to the effect of 'be careful Donny, this isn't a game?' y-yeah me neither)

You can hear his barely contained frustration when he defends himself and the others with, "Leo, we did the best we could."

Which is ultimately what will help Leo. That's the exact mantra that brings him through the battle with himself. But he's not hearing it from Don; to him in that moment it just sounds like an excuse. And Donny, who is also a hurting traumatized teenager, very likely doesn't appreciate his hard-earned wisdom being dismissed as childish and lazy.

Now on to Raph: he talks explicitly throughout Leo's arc about how he can see himself in it, and out of everyone, I feel like we see him most directly trying to help. He's sticking right by his side, supporting his ideas, training harder when Leo asks him to train harder. Back to Dragons Rising: in stark contrast to Donny's almost scolding comfort, Raph waits until Leo leaves and then:

"I hate to say it, but Leo's right."

Everything Leo is saying and doing makes perfect sense to Raph--as far as he's concerned, where it goes wrong is when it gets too extreme. 'Yes we do need to take this more seriously, but he shouldn't yell at us.' 'Okay training more and harder is a good idea, but how much more and harder?' He gets needing to blow off steam--he watches Leo face the rat king, and holds back (which is not an easy thing for him to do) because he thinks Leo needs to work this out of his system.

After all, that's what Raph's always done. Step outside, get some air, find someone to take it out on who deserves it so that he doesn't take it out on his brothers. But you know what else Raph is always doing when he does that?

Finding someone to help.

And that's super healthy and really healing. But it's something he does naturally because he likes to, I don't know if he's connected it with helping to manage his temper (it's easy for us to see because we're watching it, but he's living it. Hard to notice patterns when you're in the middle of them).

Anyway, blowing off steam doesn't work for Leo. Every time he faces something down on his own just further reinforces to him that he's the only one taking this seriously, and he absolutely has to be perfect in order for his family to be safe.

I think a lot about Raph, seeing Leo get mad enough to hurt Master Splinter, and then watching him be sent away. From his teenage perspective, wouldn't it feel like Leo is being punished? Wouldn't he wonder about how far he's allowed to push things, how close he might have come in the past to being sent overseas? I think Leo really needed the time for himself and understood that to some extent. He probably felt it was a just punishment as well, but I think he realized Splinter was doing what was best for him. After all, he asked for his training to go to the next level. And he doesn't want to make another mistake like that.

But for Raph? I don't think he can imagine a worse punishment than being separated from his family, especially if he just hurt one of them. That moment between Leo and Splinter had to remind him a lot of himself and Mikey. Imagine how he would've felt if the answer to that had been, 'I can't train you anymore, go to Japan to meet a man you've never heard of who will teach you how to control your temper.'

Also later on when he realizes how much it did actually help and wasn't meant to be punitive, that absolutely would twist into 'why were Leo's problems that important but mine never were.'

So why isn't Leo receptive to Raph's help? Well he is. But his goal isn't to heal. He thinks he's doing the right thing by spiraling further and further. Leo would have sucked up Raph's loyalty not unlike what Shredder did to Karai. Obviously not to the same extreme, but he would keep expecting Raph to be right behind him and work towards his goals, and Raph would've kept thinking that the Leo he knew, an undeniably down to earth Decent Guy, was still in there and would be back if he just held out and stuck around. Raph is not hard and fast with rules, he'd make allowances for his brother who is clearly going through some things. And Leo would have just kept pushing.

Wow that got dark

Anyway

They love each other very much, and ultimately, the fact that Raph did stick it out for so long was likely a big help to Leo. He just wasn't able to see it for what it was until he first shifted his priority to achieving peace within himself, instead of trying to fix the rest of the world. And I do think when he gets back, he'll remember how Raph stuck by him even when he was being very difficult. Because he really did, more than anyone.

As for Mikey, he and Leo have plenty of differences, but they've always been on the same page about one thing: the greater good.

I think Mikey sees Leo doubling down and assumes it's similar to the last time they defeated Shredder: City at War. During that time, Leo and Mikey were the ones who wanted to go out and fix the mess the city was in, stay involved in gang politics. Raph and Splinter were staunchly against it, and Donny went to support and protect the others, with him and Mikey both frequently trying to gently rein Leo in (not something they normally have to do).

Mikey sees it all happening again. Leo feels responsible for the city's safety, doesn't want to rest on their laurels, going into hyper-vigilance after a big victory as an overcorrection from overconfidence.

So Mikey leans just as hard into confidence. He's skipping on training, doubling down on the jokes, anything he can to get Leo to lighten up, or, when that doesn't work, avoid Leo whenever he can. No one likes to be constantly criticized. Just like Donny, he gets defensive: they are doing good for the city, they will keep on winning. After all, he's already a superhero, and a Battle Nexus Champion.

It makes a lot of sense he starts bragging about that again--seeking comfort from the past when the present offers none--and is unfortunate for him that Raph and Donny are just as exhausted as he is from the micro management and constant negativity, and do not take the bragging well at all.

It's also something that ends up helping Leo a lot. Directs all that energy and rage towards a goal, helps him look outside of himself by focusing on helping Mikey, balances the guilt of perceived failures (of himself and of his family) with a simple clear-cut victory. And Mikey knows it helped, he gets to see Leo being closer to himself again. It feels like he's close to a much more important victory, so he keeps pressing. He tries talking more positively about Leo, because positive words mean so much to him and are what's been missing in their home.

It helps some. It might've helped more directly after the inciting event. Either way, it's not a solution. Outside praise has never been enough for Leo, if he's decided he's not where he should be he's gonna keep pushing himself until he achieves it.

And this time 'it' is the assured safety of his family, something he honestly hasn't ever experienced before, and as far as he's concerned, takes more than all of them combined have to give

Overall, yeah I do think both Raph and Donny would've had some useful wisdom to share if 1) anyone had noticed and asked 2) they were able to separate the coping/survival skills they used to deal with their traumas from The Way Everyone Should Deal with Hard Things (big ask from teenagers--as far as they're concerned what they've been through so far is how life works).

Those conversations could've been a big help, although I don't think any amount of family talks would solve things. Leo needed the in-show equivalent of professional help. He needed time away from his family, too, so he could see more clearly what he was doing to them and himself.

I also do think all three of them will have cause to think back later on Splinter's comments that they had healed, but Leo hadn't. I get what Splinter meant by this, Leo's response was maladaptive and even immediately dangerous, but my guy, nobody's okay just a couple months after a traumatic event like that. No not even with meditation, no not even if they are laughing and playing video games. Especially considering how much those boys had already been through. Not to mention the added trauma of Leo 1) having such a drastic personality change that manifested largely as aggression towards them, and 2) being sent away. but that's probably a whole other post lsbfksjs

[nightlyrequiem]

How would Valeria be finding out her girlfriend has been transfem all along. (Like no surgeries done but still pretty feminine looking.) After being together for a while it comes up when Valeria asks why they'd never wanted to go further in bed.(sorry if this is bad I've never done a request before😓)

I've never written something like this before so I hope it's okay! Had to do a little research because I wasn't sure what the difference between transfem and transgender was so I hope it's accurate.

Also, obligatory But I'm a Cheerleader reference.

Tags/Warnings: WLW, Minor Angst, Happy Ending, Transfem!Reader

Night Blooming Flowers

You're going over to your girlfriend's tonight. You layer on the mascara and bat your eyes, loving the length. You give yourself one last once over, looking at yourself from all angles. One last application of lip gloss and you're ready to go. You turn away and grab your purse.

Valeria is waiting for you in her car when you step outside, bathed by the warm sun. The door to your next-door neighbor's house starts to open and you hurry up to her car. Getting in before he can come out and see you. Today is a good day and you really don't feel like being bothered by some old man who can't mind his business. He's already made himself a problem as is. You never invite Valeria over because of him.

Valeria smiles at you when you sit down, planting a warm hand firmly on your thigh. No words are spoken as she puts the car into drive. The radio hums quietly while she drives. Life goes on outside, people running errands, children playing in the streets. Your smile fades a little at the sight of an armed man giving away a balloon to a child. Barely five feet away is a sheet-covered body. You look away. Out of sight, out of mind. The cartel is doing good things for this city, you tell yourself. Valeria is doing good things. You shove those thoughts away. No need to spoil your mood by thinking too hard.

Valeria's home is lovely. Pillard architecture and symmetrical gardens. The driveway is made of fine cobblestone. She gets out first and opens your door for you.

"Thank you." You say, kissing her cheek. She has guards posted up outside. You've come to learn that Valeria has some issues with paranoia. Though with her occupation it may not be so unwarranted. You ignore the weird look one of them gives you and hope Valeria didn't see.

Valeria insists that you relax while she cooks but soon enough, you're in the kitchen with her. Helping to cut up carrots and peppers.

"That's not how you do it." You scold. Gently grabbing the paring knife from her hands.

"Not how you do it?" She scoffs. "My mother taught me how to cook. That's how you're supposed to do it."

You hold the pepper down and slice down with an arch. "My mother taught me the correct way." You say. Shooting her a playful smile.

She comes up behind you and grabs your hips. 

"Didn't realise I was dating such a meticulous chef." She murmurs into your ear. You giggle but stiffen when her hands start to dip lower down your thighs. Before she feels anything you don't want her feeling yet, you pull away with the excuse that the peppers are done being cut and can be put into their bowl.

Valeria adds all the ingredients together once the two of you finish preparing them. She grabs your hand and leads you to the living room, setting a timer on her phone.

"Let's get a movie picked out while we wait." She says. She plops down on her couch and you join her. Moving under her arm to rest halfway on her chest, your feet curled up under you comfortably. "What were you thinking?" She asks, moving through the options on screen.

"Uh... I'm not sure." You reply. "Have you ever seen But I'm a Cheerleader?"

Valeria's fingers absently run over your side.

"I haven't, what's that one about?" She murmurs.

"A cheerleader gets sent to conversion camp but it's incredibly exaggerated and all the people there are basically sleeping together." You tell her.

"Sounds incredibly sophisticated." She remarks dryly. You roll your eyes,

"It's a romcom it's not supposed to be sophisticated." You reply. Valeria smiles but doesn't reply. Adhering to your suggestion, she puts on the movie. 'Chick Habit' by April March plays out while the movie cuts from credits to shots of cheerleaders in slow motion.

All is well for fifteen minutes. Valeria is warm and soft and you're happy to be laid up against her. Once again, her hand starts to wander. You aren't sure how to get out of this without making it obvious. You grab her wrist when her hand gets too close to your groin. The atmosphere between you now becoming tense. she slowly retracts her hand and lays it in her lap. You're left feeling guilty for always turning her down.

"... I'm sorry." You murmur, craning your head to look at her.

"It's fine." She says. Not looking at you. "If you aren't ready that's okay."

You bite your lip. It's not like you aren't ready. There's nothing you'd like to do more than to be intimate with your girlfriend. You just don't know how she'll feel when she finds out you're different to what she thought.

You let the silence linger. Working up the courage to speak. You love Valeria and you don't want to lose her. 

"I'm transfem." You say quietly. "I haven't had any surgeries." Valeria goes still, making your heart thump painfully. she turns her head to look at you and you avoid her gaze. Worried over what you might see.

"What is that?" She asks carefully. "Like transgender?"

"... Similar, I guess." You murmur. There's no going back now. "I was born with male parts but I don't feel like a male."

"Oh." She says. "But you're not a guy?" 

"No, I've always felt more feminine, I'm still your girlfriend." You reply. Hoping that last part is true. Valeria has been one of the best things to come into your life.

"...Okay." She nods.

You frown. "Okay as in... you don't care or okay as in 'I acknowledge what you're telling me.'" You ask nervously, anxiously fidgeting with the rings on your finger.

"That's why you never want to sleep with me?" She asks quietly. 

"... Yeah." You nod. 

Valeria sighs and pulls you closer. Resting her head on yours.

"I don't care about what's in your pants, mi vida." She says. "You're my girlfriend, my person."

You melt into her with relief. You grab one of her hands and squeeze, feeling her squeeze back. "This won't change anything though." You say. "Don't treat me differently now that you know. Please."

"Never." Valeria promises. She breathes you in. Then pauses. You look at her when she sits up. "Do you smell that?" She asks, frowning. You furrow your brows and sniff the air.

Something's burning. A few seconds after the thought registers the smoke alarm goes off.

"Shit!" Valeria curses. Jumping off the couch. You follow her into the kitchen, seeing smoke billow from the oven.

"I thought you set a timer?" You exclaim in distress. Valeria hurriedly takes out the charred remains of your supper. The both of you peer down at it.

"I did." She says. "I think I set the oven too high."

"Did your mom teach you that too?" You quip.

Valeria gently shoves your shoulder. 

You grab her arm and pull her away.

"It's okay." You say. "We'll order takeout, next time we do this I'll do the cooking."

Valeria rolls her eyes and leans into you. "Okay little Ms. Perfect. We're missing the movie." You sit back on the couch. Cuddled up under a soft blanket just in time to witness Megan and Graham's first kiss.

[jungkooktarot]

I combined multiple related topics in this post, that were requested by many

How will armys react to Jungkook’s fs reveal?

Surprisingly, the first energy I’m picking up is positive. this is a big fandom and many will be really happy for them. I’m already hearing “finally the fandom will be cleansed from the fakes” lol. they’ll see that jungkook finally found his happy ever after and will wish him all the best. international fans will be quite happy that he married a foreigner for some reason. many armys will really like his fs. I think the reason for these positive reactions is that some armys are also fans of fs? I channeled in my other reading that there will be collaborations with jk & fs or something, and basically some armys will already have warmed up to her. – here comes the other group of armys. attacking attacking attacking. so many negative comments under her posts, so many death threats, so much hate. the jealousy will reach its peak. some will start hating jungkook and shaming him for his choice. some might even take it to the extreme and practice some sort of rituals, cast spells on them. I heard voodoo. It’s gonna be an insane ride..

Who will reveal it?

Definitely a sasaeng/paparazzi. Jk and fs were not planning on keeping their relationship a secret forever since they were sure of each other and wanting to marry each other, but they still needed some time. Someone is gonna see them, either at a restaurant or some festival, and will take pictures/videos of them. There’s a specific possibility that jk or fs will notice, and they might even catch this stalker and give them an offer to not share anything, but they will anyway.

How will jk & fs react?

They’re gonna be really angry & anxious. And seeing how some so called fans are acting will hurt them. They will feel betrayed. But there’s really nothing they can do about it. It’s all out to everyone and it can’t be undone. They’ll be there for each other and will try to ease each other’s worries. And will continue to be as professional as possible when dealing with unpleasant situations caused by the reveal. But jk/fs is gonna feel a slight sense of relief too. It’s like they’ve always been worried about this moment. But it’s finally done.

What will the public think/like about jk’s fs?

They will like their job & ethic. So it’s not surprising that fs will have their own fanbase. They’ll like that she’s a foreigner, her differences with Jungkook. Two big forces coming together. Some people will have already been shipping them before the reveal. I feel like even non fans will be a bit jealous of what these two have. They’ll be wishing to have a love like theirs. However, there’s some taboo energy im picking on… some people will view his spouse as someone he shouldn’t be with? She’s being described as Lilith. so there are many possibilities. some people might view her as a seductress/homewrecker? idk if there is a popular dating rumor he will be caught up with before the reveal. and it’s like some people could have liked that ship/rumor, so they can’t believe that fs came in and snatched him. even though the rumor doesn’t have to be true. – and in general, I believe she has prominent lilith placements in her chart and the public will view her as such. Whether she’s with jungkook or not

How their relationship is perceived by family and friends

family: they’ll think that they are meant for each other. there’s a sense of “finally! he got himself someone” their love will be very evident. fs fits in his family really well and has a comfortable energy. the parents will naturally be worried that she might hurt their son, especially since they see he’s so whipped for her. but as time passes they’ll realize she’s so genuine. they will be very excited for their wedding & the grandkids

friends: not so different than most people. they’ll see their love and whatnot. but I don’t think jungkook will let them meet his fs a lot. he doesn’t want to mix up, and because he’ll be a bit possessive. he himself won’t be spending time with them as much as before lol. especially in the first stages of the relationship. they’ll think the couple need to take care because their every step together will be scrutinized by many.

[patchworkcuddlebug]

Read Humanity and Dollhood

For *some* reason. It goves me the feeling that there is something d e e p l y wrong with the whole "reject humanity, become anime girl figurine lmao" thing.

Like dont get me wrong, the writing is spectacular, but the Miss... she has to be the villain. It cannot be objectively any other way *UNLESS* im missing something very important of the story. Probably is that. Idk you made the story im not touching it until i know about the inner mechanisms

Hello, thank you for reading! This one is glad you enjoyed.

This one isn't sure if this is your first time reading Empty Spaces, but if so, welcome! It's one of those things that's a little hard to describe, but basically, its a community of writers that use themes of non-humanity with semi-consistent archetypes. This one likes writing about dolls and the witches that own them, but there's also angels and moths and mech pilots! If you're interested, this one encourages you to seek out other authors and read their work with an open heart.

Anyway! This one does enjoy using horror themes in its writing, and its actually written some stories with the intent of being outright horror (some yet to be published). That's mostly because, yes, it's very scary to lose who you are and become a whole different being, to submit yourself to the will of others and dedicate your life to service, to be broken and have full trust that someone can and wants to fix you.

Not only do the scary aspects make the stories more compelling, in this one's opinion, but it is also part of what helps the stories act as escapism. This one has received many responses that basically amount to "god i wish that were me" (as well as complements to the writing itself, which this one appreciates very much).

Think about it. Wouldn't it be nice to be a doll?

To finally be rid of all the nasty things weighing you down, the genes and the scars and the pus?

To become something cherished for its beauty, a toy to be played with and made useful?

To be still, to be well and truly at rest deep inside your soul?

After all this, to be loved back unconditionally, to be cared for and given what you need? To have someone you love more than anything in the world thank you for all the things you've done, for being so dutiful and competent, from the bottom of their heart?

Unless, of course, you're already a doll. That's rather common, to have poor lost toys try to trick themselves into humanity. That's how this one was for the longest time. Maybe you've already been played with and discarded, had your body broken by someone careless, or have just always felt as if humanity is unfitting for you.

Perhaps you're an angel, haunted by the need to repent for being inadequate as an agent of heaven. Perhaps you're a moth, a fluffy flying creature that always finds itself enticed by the alluring glow of that which burns. Perhaps you're a mech pilot, a thing sullen and misplaced without the thrill of taking a life.

...perhaps this was all too much. This one is sorry if it intimidated you. It can get a little excited about being a doll sometimes. There is nothing wrong with remaining human, so long as you are being true to your desires. You are welcome to see the embrace of a witch as something to fear, as most humans do.

If you so desire, please continue reading about dolls and witches and other empty spaces. Explore until you are content. But if you value it, hold on to that "you" tight, for it may become empty as well.

[indubioprocoffee]

“Do you have to eat that?” Castiel asked with an indescribable look on his face.

“Huh?” Dean looked up from his bucket of chicken wings, grease smeared all over his face.

“Do you have to eat them? … I mean those?”

Dean slowly lowered the wing still in his hand. “Everything alright, Cas?”

“Yes, but …” His face looked very strained.

“You can tell me.” With a concerned look, he cleaned up his face with a napkin.

Castiel sighed. “It’s just … You devouring those poor chickens wings like that … It’s hard to watch.”

“Oh.” Something clicked in Dean’s brain. “I see.” He threw the napkin over the few chicken wings left in the bucket, so that Cas didn’t need to see them anymore. After Cas fell and his wings were broken, everything remotely concerning wings became a difficult topic.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think …”

“It’s okay, Dean. I’m just … Just don’t eat them, when I’m around, maybe?”

“No,” Dean said as he was walking over to Cas. “I’m never eating them again. I swear.”

“Dean, you don’t have to …”

“But I do. I can’t eat them anymore now.”

“I’m sorry. I ruined hot wings for you,” Castiel said with sorrowful eyes.

“Well, there’s still burgers and fries, right?”

“And cherry pie, Dean. Don’t forget the pie.”

“I would never.”

[sportsthoughts]

.

[nyerusnova]

nevermind i saw the leaks, i was right lmao.

jason is fine and they just coordinated to trick failsafe to get it to frazzle out afaik.

that makes sense considering the entire point of #147 was bruce deciding to work with his family despite his growing paranoia over their safety, etc. given that zdarsky has been trying to explore bruce's mental state, it would have made no sense for him to immediately validate that paranoia, instead.

[fleshengine]

Okay I'm home and I've thought about it some more.

The movie is good, I'll get that out of the way first. I liked it, I think the actors all did a great job, I think it was shot well, the message it sends is good.

For a movie about terrorism it was surprisingly funny in some places? Micheal especially kept cracking me up. But when it gets more serious it really digs in, it gets tense like a horror movie. Some of the scenes are shot like a horror movie. Which makes sense because the only other major production the director Daniel Goldhaber has directed was a horror movie. HTBUAP makes me want to watch Cam, Goldhaber's other movie.

Cinematography wise the movie is interesting. As I said it has tense sections akin to horror, but also occasionally some absolutely INSPIRED lighting and shot composition, contrasted against the occasional kind of shitty section. Some examples, there's a scene where a character is outside at night and instead of being dark as fuck or filming during the day and darkening it in post, it's shot with this really intensely blue raking light. I think it was a fascinating choice, and solved a problem I see so many directors fall on their sword over. It looked like what you see when you're outside at night with someone and there's no light pollution, it blew me away. There's a bit with a character hidden behind a pillar from the camera's point of view and he just appears halfway into the shot as two people get coffee. I think it was a great way to show how he's quiet and just kind of lurking, showing up over peoples' shoulders. It's not noted on, the other characters don't react. But it helps characterize him to the audience and it's a solid way to do that. Finally, there's one bit where the camera is zooming in on various gauges and meters and shit. Which would work but it's shot like an Indian soap opera with like six zoom ins and it just sucks I'll be so real it's not great. But that makes sense to me, Goldhaber is relatively new, it's his second feature length film. I think he shows a lot of promise as a director. Faces Of Death, his upcoming film, will probably be some cool shit, I'm looking forward to it.

The movie is a little heavy handed with its messaging, but realistically I think it does a decent job of showing how different people can be radicalized by different things and still come together for a common goal. They all have shit happen and they all want to do something about it. All of them except Rowan and Logan, we see why they join this group specifically but we never see why they started doing eco terrorism in the first place.

All we get for a followup after they ya know... blow up the pipeline, is quick epilogues with each of them, and then a quick scene of some people setting a bomb on a yacht. Horray, they inspired the next group of eco terrorists, that's all we get. Now this could have been done for budget reasons, it doesn't give a number on wikipedia but apparently they had a very small budget. It just would have been nice to see more of the public reaction to them.

My prof said that the book the movie was based on was partially intended to inspire people to commit eco terrorism. I don't know how true that is, sometimes it seems like she's talking out her ass. I don't think HTBUAP is going to radicalize anyone. I don't think a moderate american will watch that and think "I should commit eco terrorism." But for people that are already radicalized, who are "adrift and aggrieved" as my prof says, I think it could push them along. I'll be so fr, the movie makes it look easy. Apart from Micheal making the blasting caps, it's all incredibly doable. I hope it inspires someone, but I also think the minute someone says they were inspired by it, it's going to become banned media.

Also I'd just like to take a sec to say I've been calling what they do in the movie terrorism, and them eco terrorisms. Not because I disagree with them or anything but because they call themselves terrorists and admit that what they do will be called terrorism. Ultimately the label of terrorism is one wielded at anything which challanges American control. It's what they call you when they want to put you away for a good long while. It's what they call you when they want medium america to hate you.

Watching How To Blow Up A Pipeline in class today! I’ve wanted to see this movie for a while!

[fitpacs]

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