#i admit with very much shame
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hehe im glad i got that second ask bcs i was a bit confused about if you meant me jack as in just encouragement to write more? or if you meant jack doohan? sgsjshssj but aaaaa thank you, im so glad you liked it !!! 🥺 i really enjoyed writing it, just like im enjoying writing a jack smut/suggestive thing coming up…… 🤭
#i would stay tuned if i were you#i too have been browsing the jack tags…….#i admit with very much shame#i loved theeee frat boy fic ?? dont remember what it’s called or who wrote it but i think you know#it was so good oh my lord#anyways#thank u again <33#have a lovely day!!#asks!#anon!#🌀!
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They are enjoying the twin thing
#also hilarious video to upload pond thanks for your service#he really went 👉🏽 tank tops#this is also very much an excuse to have Phuwin flexing on my blog I admit it i have no shame#phuwin tangsakyuen#gemini norawit
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having some thoughts and I need to get them out, but they’re real hard to put together
#following the discussion on artist’s boundaries and parasocial relationships#like I need to get them out but that would be admitting a very deep part of all that goes on inside#and I’m not sure if I’m ready or mature for that yet#but still. it’s a mix of shame and regret and also a sense of recognition for where this comes from#and it’s wrecking my brain so much rn I’m genuinely considering deactivating#it’s bad#ignore me#vent
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Just know that even tho I'm not here, I am thinking about all my f/o.
I am rewatching every movie with them. I hope this bad feeling passes and I'll feel less like a worthless waste of space.
I hope they can pull me through...
#Qiite literally going to have a movie night... I need it. I need them... I'm struggling really bad this time around#if need be I'll send myself to the hospital if it gets to be too much. least I'll be safe there.#quite*#not saying this to get attention im just speaking my thoughts and acknowledging my feelings#and letting people know that I'm not okay. its okay to let your friends know you aren't okay.#not everything has to be sunshine out your ass 24/7#im in a very bad place.#its not shameful to admit it#just hoping it doesn't come to that and that my fo can pull me through this..
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also i think ive already said this but about people trying to make cassandra wayne a thing. like. i GET it and i respect it but also im sorry it sounds so much worse. ‘umm but cain links her to her abusive father’ well yeah. but have you considered that it sounds cool as fuck…
#like i GET that she has rejected them and thats empowering and stuff but also yay <3 the angst of it all <3#also. is that so bad. controversial opinion here but lowkey i kind of love not being able to escape ur parents legacy and shadow and#being the person that they made u. its the shame and guilt u carry the forever association do i look like them. yummy.#mossy posts#dc#sorry. i simply enjoy pain and suffering and cyclical violence. and also generational trauma its very juicy 2 me#shes literally the daughter of cain. the sacrificial lamb. doomed to sin. and you want to CHANGE IT!! could not be me.#i get that its an attempt to rescue her trauma from the narrative and stuff but lowkey. it just sounds much worse and removes#something which i think is narratively compelling. like i get and respect it once again... but its just not for me.#also. can we be real and admit that bruce’s behaviour towards cass is like. abusive also in a different and lesser way#furthermore. no one else is changing their name after adoption so i don’t understand why she should? why can’t she just. reclaim it#as her own?#and again it just sounds BAD! im sorry!!!!#scared i will get crucified for this.#cassandra cain
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i think the point of a university-level education is a bit lost on some of my course mates...
#things are not going to be spoon fed to you you will have to do your own research#seek out your own education guided by lectures and assignments#relish that freedom instead of lamenting it!!#some of these assignments are actually good and ive been able to tailor them to my interests#like rn im learning about the uses of bracken in ancient scotland!#i just did a whole project on tomato grafting (i love solanaceae - tomato family) and whilst it was hard i did enjoy reading about it#we had some mini essays to research and they were so interesting to research and fun to write because one of them was a comparing two#articles and one of them was really bad so it was fun to rip it to shreds and actually apply the knowledge we've been accumulating in class#but i think the point of doing all this is lost on some of them#which is a real shame#maybe im just a nerd?#i very much have the benefit of doing a degree before this so maybe im being harsh#but saying that assessments suck doesnt make them any more interesting#also we have so much free reign over topic that if it sucks it's kind of on you a lil bit#though i will admit some of the assignments are stupid
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Honestly fascinated learning more of the fanon vs canon going on here. Truly tempted to read Tim's comics just to see the extent of what's been done to him
#i wont however. unlike jason tim doesn't die for like 17 years#lot more to try and work through#dc liveblog#update: just finished 442. funky little guy#theyre trying real hard w the new robin this time around. as much as i love jason#i will easily admit he doesn't have too strong characterization#its fun to analyze the details and small bits and what they could mean. but overall if you asked me to describe robin jason id struggle#a shame! but theyre definitely working hard with tim now#anyway yeah fanon is wild#im not rly gonna read anymore tim comics so very real and genuine question here. where does tim liking jason even come from#literally only talks about jason when talking about how his death affected bruce. otherwise its all dick#fanon im holding you by the shoulders please explain yourself to me im so desperately confused how you got here#BEST i can think of. and im just saying stuff here. is that it partially formed out of a want for anyone to like jason??#bc nocturna and harvey were the closest characters he was to and they disappeared after the retcon#and it is easy to say dick was bruces favorite#jason didn't have the chance to join any teams. so maybe the fanon was born of a desire for someone to mourn and look up to him????????????#extra angst for the tower??#idk man
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I’m fucking disabled
#I had this conversation with my therapist last week. I’ll give you the secret HIPAA breaking rundown#I HATE calling myself disabled#I don’t know why. there’s no shame in it. it’s just ya know it’s just what I am#but I still can’t get it into my head that yes I’m kinda fucking disabled#because here I am sitting on this creaky futon unable to understand anything anyone is saying to me bc my hearing is so bad#it’s a bad hearing day! it happens! some days are good! today is very much not so good!#so I told my therapist I’m way cool with telling people I have mental health issues#but when it comes to hearing it’s ‘oh no I’m not REALLY disabled. I just uhhhhh can’t uhhh fuckin hear sometimes ��🏻♂️ that’s normal right?’#and he’s like no my sweet boy you are disabled you need to own that shit#okay… he didn’t say it like that but this is my flashback please let me have this#let me be a sweetie boy in my own mind#he said it’s usually the reverse: people don’t like to admit mental health issues but will mention physical disabilities#I just… I spent 30 something years with great hearing and then it all just got taken from me out of the blue and no one knows why#and I hate that. I’m so angry. I’m so fucking angry and scared and alone#and I hate admitting that yes I am disabled. like really disabled. it feels like defeat.#and it shouldn’t. like I said it’s just kinda what I am now. It’s like saying I breathe or I’m allergic to birds. it just is me.#sorry I’m just having a rough day#I got about an hour of sleep and now I’m holding down the fort while a home inspector and the new buyer look through the house#and I can’t talk to either of them. I can’t understand them talking to each other. it’s isolating.#I have therapy later and I’m hoping I’ll be able to communicate and hear during it. I really just need someone to talk to#I miss talking to people in person. I can still do that it just can take a bit of work and I hate subjecting people to putting up with me#I feel so needy. I just want some human connection. I want to know I can still make this work.#gosh this is whiny. sorry about that. just needed a quick vent to get me through the next few hours#anyway I love you. probably. maybe… ehhh#you can ignore this#text
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@beatingheart-bride
Kiss me? She wants to kiss me?
This took Randall by surprise-which, in hindsight, it shouldn't have, since Emily seemed unabashedly smitten with him, in a way he'd never known any woman to be with him. Most women wouldn't look twice at him, he wasn't exactly New Orleans' most eligible bachelor...but that just didn't seem to matter to Emily. She was head over heels for him, it seemed-and the feeling was mutual.
And even though this was only their first date, he felt comfortable with this request-were it anyone else, any other girl he was going out with, he'd think this was all the set-up for some great big prank, some sort of practical joke cooked up by his co-workers...but this was Emily asking him this, and he knew she would never be so cruel. He couldn't explain how, he just knew, in his heart of hearts, that he could trust her.
And so, it was with trembling lips and a pounding heart that he gave his answer, trying his hardest not to stutter as he gave his breathless answer:
"Y-Yes."
#((ah don't worry; you're not failing her-i can understand why it wouldn't be everyone's taste!))#((i admit that i'm not a fan of my food looking back at me; so i don't think i could prepare; say; a crab))#((nor could i pick a lobster from a tank to boil-i'll just buy the meat and use that; thanks!))#((i'm not a big fan of regular fish; i tend not to like that very much; except for say fish and chips))#((but if given the choice; i much prefer shellfish-good prawns; shrimp pasta))#((a nice seafood-y sandwich mix; that tends to appeal to me; but again; i can understand why it wouldn't be your speed!))#((no shame in that!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Dark Shadows
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share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order, then send this to 10 people (anon or not, your choice) 🎥🎬📺
hi reina fancy seeing you here!! in no particular order (and also just off the top of my head so everything but the first 3 are subject to change):
annabeth chase (percy jackson)
elizabeth bennet (pride and prejudice)
kiara carrera (outer banks)
toni shalifoe (the wilds)
gina porter (hsmtmts)
stiles stilinski (teen wolf)
inej ghafa (six of crows)
ruhn danaan (crescent city)
jude duarte (cruel prince)
michelle jones (spider-man)
#stiles and ruhn repping the men in this list aklsdjfhlkasjdfhlk#i guess that says something about my preferences in men#also the top 3 are my top 3 ever characters and don't read into that too much#(actually don't read into this list at all I think there's realities I'm not ready to figure out)#but ANYWAYS#annabeth lizzie and kie are my top three girlies and I don't rank them against each other#they are just collectively The Best#the characters I have trauma bonded with the most lmao#everyone else exists on the next tier and i obviously love them very very much but the top 3 girls are my girls you know#this also doesn't include the characters from the very trashiest of the books I read that I won't admit to but let me tell you this#will grayson III and darius acrux would be making appearances if i had less shame#emory scott woud also be up there#cassian could probably make a claim as well but#anyway
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i am once again chickening out of getting a haircut bc trying to look up reference pics for what i might want is just wading through a sea of styles that i know took a lot of work and expensive products to get like that and i know i simply will not be able to replicate it
#//juri speaks#i had gotten to a point last night/this morning where i was like ''ok! i think i can actually cut it to where it just brushes my shoulders'#like i felt i could emotionally handle chopping off that much but... after seeing all those professionally styled wavy hairdos?#knowing that it's so easy for my hair to look very dumb at short lengths?#very scared again! can't do it! it's been at LEAST 3 years and probably closer to 5 since i've been to a stylist#and i wouldn't even know what to ASK for or what i WANT#i just know that my hair is very dry and very sad and very tangled all the time and i genuinely do not know what to do with it#but it feels shameful to admit that to someone who knows very much about hair#uuuuughghghhghhhhhhhhhhh i just don't know y'all
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from just the first episode i thought wednesday was kind of tropey and i didn’t really like what it did with the addams family canon BUT it’s just unbelievable how 100% perfectly they captured my 5th grade escapist fantasies. being a hypercompetent morbid weirdo who went to a boarding school whose whole aesthetic, theme, and curriculum was centered around death and danger and who was also a successful novelist and solved mysteries was so exactly what i dreamed about that i’m enjoying watching it just because it scratches that old itch with surgical precision
#in 5th/6th grade i had hair that was i think shoulder length but it actually got into such a big tangle that it was literally the entirety#of my hair#for some reason i decided to keep this a secret and wore my hair in a bun for like 4 months except that the bun was the shape my hair was in#when i finally admitted to it -- and mind you i didn't keep it secret out of a sense of shame or anything#i honestly don't remember what exactly it was -- i think i thought it would eventually resolve naturally and just didn't want to involve#anyone else#anyway the hairstylist who cut my hair deserves so much credit because she produced a really cute asymetrical bob out of it#and in my defense the knot developed shortly after my dad moved into a new house so a hairbrush for that house hadn't been bought yet#so if i wanted to brush my hair there i had to remember to take my brush from my mother's house which i obviously forgot all the time#wait why did i bring this up on a post about wednesday addams#OH because before that i DID for some period of time have 2 long braids#the 2-braided character i imprinted on as a child was sheeta from castle in the sky#she has her braids shot off by the villain#i donated my hair in the 2nd grade i think and me and bestie masha k (who was nausicaa in our ghibliverse RP)#were like 'omg....this is JUST like sheeta....the ancient prophecies are coming true'#as if it was some crazy coincidence and not a situation i directly created by asking my mother to make an appointment as supercuts#wait you know what else i just realized#yentl 🤝 sheeta#characters i imprinted upon who have two long braids that get cut off#very sleep deprived hence the stream of consciousness tags#OH regarding the fate of the hair knot#most of it was cut off as one discrete chunk and my aunt actually still has it in a plastic bag to this day#she calls it the 'hairloom' and the idea is to show it to the next generation if they ever wine about having to take care of their hair lmao
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Pick all the cherries you like, but don't tell the next people to come by that there are no cherries aside from the ones you have in your basket and those exactly like them.
"you can't pick and choose what you like from canon" common misconception! yes you can
#hi it's august 6 2023 rho here#i would like to add on: if a fandom as a whole has made a decision to go ham with bits and bobs from canon then that's great!#just acknowledge that this is a move from official canon please#the danny phantom phandom is fun like this. we keep some of canon and obliterate the rest and fill in the gaps with fanon.#a lot of the time the line between fanon and canon is a blurry mess. and it's fun this way!#but at the same time most everybody i've seen who goes ham with fanon (myself included)#will openly admit it if they're using a fanon concept and know as much. and if it turns out that widely-accepted 'canon' is fanon after all#well there's no shame in that! won't stop us from using it but we'll just use it with the awareness that it was a fan idea instead of part#of the OG show!#it's very chill generally :D
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what with the current pikafad activity i'm reminded how in the first one i couldn't remember the name of bug pokemon super well & so my vote submission got screenshotted & shared with the whole server
#yeah that was me if anyone remembers that#shame my submission for pikafad3 didn't get very far but i'll admit the ''intentionally shit'' part flew over my head#i had too much fun making calliopichu's source list#. also. man. being on social media/the internet as a whole kinda sucks when you're constantly thinking about how#if you say stuff & someone finds it funny you can just get shared with a whole audience. out of nowhere#& those thoughts are justified#my answer back then didn't out me as having made it but it still felt a little jarring because#i didn't Want to think that if i was silly enough in the voting form that other people'd have to see it. i was being earnest#didn't ask to be spectacle
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Welp idk if it did, ima just vent anyways.
#I feel like I would do decent with a therapist#I think about it all the time#but I also think I’d dread to go consistently#bc I might find I’m late or just anxious to go in each time#anticipating finding a therapist that I actually vibe with is another thing#I would probably not be as honest as I can be with my therapist if I like them#something about regretting admitting certain things and feeling shameful after#my pride probably wouldn’t let me say everything I need to get off my chest#I hate being vulnerable even when I need it#I was told it’s unusual to cry or at least learned that through ppl’s reactions#I always felt like I had to repress my emotions#and in hindsight have trained up a very unregulated nervous system that doesn’t know how to regulate emotions still#so as an adult I can’t process what I’m feeling in the moment which makes it harder to express how I feel#so it’s like as much as I feel like talking to someone would help#I also see so many cons to it aside from the costs
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Oooohh i have a request!:
Playing “never have i ever” or something like that with logan and wade (maybe along the lines of a boring friday night with nothing else to do) and you admit to never having an orgasm by anyone but yourself
Flash forward you’re in logan’s arms and wade is eating the fuck out of your pussy, and then they switch 👀👀
i’ve written something similar two the second part here, but i love the never have i ever idea! // divider from @strangergraphics
boredom isn’t something heroes are used to. there’s always something happening somewhere, someone needing to be saved. but tonight, everything is quiet. the three of you were suspicious at first, but you checked every police scanner, news outlet, and all of your contacts and came up with nothing. the bad guys had decided to take an evening off, and now you were stuck with nothing to do.
you, wade, and logan all sit around in the living room with bottles of beer. you and wade stare at the mindless gameshow on tv while logan rests his eyes. you’re definitely bored, but wade is restless. it’s like he’s itching for something to do, like his body is physically unable to handle the inactivity.
“why don’t we play a game?” wade asks, startling logan awake.
the two of you look over at wade. “what kind of game?” you ask.
“i don’t know, ‘never have i ever?’”
logan rolls his eyes, then shuts them again. he’ll deny any “old man” comments, but he really is one. you elbow logan in the side and he opens them again.
“come on, it’ll be fun,” wade pleads.
“it’s not like we have anything better to do,” you say to logan. reluctantly, he agrees.
you reposition yourselves in the living room. you sit on the couch, leaned against the arm with your feet in logan’s lap, who sits on the other end. wade sits on the floor by the coffee table, his beer on the table without a coaster next to him.
“this is your game, wilson. you start,” logan says before taking a sip of his beer.
“no, don’t drink! you only drink if you’ve done the thing i say,” wade scoffs. how can logan be so old and still know nothing about fun? “okay, okay. never have i ever… gotten arrested.”
you furrow your eyebrows at him while logan takes a drink. you’re almost certainly wade has been arrested before. “i don’t think you’re playing this game right,” you say. “you have to say things you’ve never done.”
wade scoffs. “i haven’t been arrested, thank you very much. all the cops who’ve tried have mysteriously ended up with broken noses.”
you roll your eyes at him. “my turn now? never have i ever… cheated on a partner.”
both of them take drinks, wade with more shame than logan. ugh, men.
then it’s logan’s turn. “never have i ever worn a dress.”
you figure it’s targeted at you, just because logan’s a dick, but to your surprise, wade drinks too. logan raises his eyebrow at him, silently urging him to elaborate.
“you wish you saw that, huh, peanut?” he taunts instead. logan makes a face at that.
“i’m thankin’ god i didn’t have to.”
you play a couple more rounds, all three of you exchanging stories and sipping from your bottles. it takes a lot to get them drunk, but you’re starting to feel it. there’s a collection of empty bottles, mostly beer, but halfway through the game, wade decided to up the ante with some liquor.
it’s wade’s turn again and he says, “never have i ever been with two guys at once.”
he means it as a joke. he doesn’t expect anyone to drink. there’s no way logan would do something like that, and you’re too innocent. that’s why his eyes practically pop out of his head when you throw back the shot.
the game turned sexual a few rounds ago, but it was pretty mild stuff. talk about doing stuff in public, kinks, freaky shit like that. nothing as interesting as this.
both wade and logan turn their full attention to you, eager to hear this story.
“what?” you play dumb.
“two guys at once?” wade asks. you shrug.
“it wasn’t anything.”
“nah,” logan says, sounding interested for the first time all game. “you gotta tell us.”
you sigh. “it was a while ago. i met this couple at a bar and they said they were looking for a third. i had nothing better to do and they were both hot, so…” you trail off, shrugging again.
“give us the gory details. how’d you do it? daisy chain?eiffel tower? double cowgirl? triple spooning? come on, tell us,” wade rambles.
“you’re a fucking perv,” you tell him and he doesn’t deny it. “it was just normal dp.”
logan raises an eyebow. “that stands for double penetration,” wade tells him.
“i know that. i’m just wondering how you took it all,” logan says.
you’re used to this kind of talk from wade. the man thinks with his dick so much that you question if he even has a brain. you’re not, however, used to this from logan. he’s no prude, but he usually doesn’t participate in these kinds of conversations with wade.
“must’ve been a tight fit,” logan adds on.
you look between the men and their interested faces. you’re still pretty bored, the game having grown stale a while ago, and now you’re a tipsy. you want something exciting and right now, you’re feeling bold enough to persue it.
“do you wanna see?” you ask them.
wade and logan share a glance, but it only takes a second before they’re replying “yes” in unison.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wade wilson#wade wilson x reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine#deadpool#deadpool x reader#wade wilson smut#wade wilson fanfic#wade wilson fanfiction#logan howlett smut#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fanfic#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine smut#wolverine fanfic#wolverine x deadpool#deadpool fanfic#deadpool fanfiction#deadpool smut#deadpool x wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool x reader x wolverine
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