#i actually posted this everywhere else like 2 days ago

[mewteoroid]

happy 15th anniversary to my favorite vocaloid group 🎉

[pinkgy]

idk if u take requests but is it possible for u to write whb x reader that often wears revealing clothes? if u dont take requests then u can ignore this 💗 hope u have a good day!!

Hi ! Thank u so much for requesting !!

Sorry if it's too short :( Since it lacks a scenario I don't have much to write about this, so it ended up this way, also I read your other ask where you said something about this post being with a Fem Reader a bit late ... Like 5 minutes ago by the time I'm writing this, but I tried fixing it a little, sorry about that too.

Since you didn't ask for any specific characters for this post I took some creative liberties and did the kings and added 2 little bonuses with two of my fave nobles ;)

"𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗦 𝗢𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨"

𝗖𝗪: Kinda suggestive (Asmo's fault), tried my best to not make them red flags, bare with me, Fem Reader coded but only in some parts, Kings being kinda possessive, wear whatever you want queen don't let any man disrespect your style.

𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗔𝗡

He won't complain, but you can see in his face that he's not thaaat into your fashion choices.

It's not that you look bad, the opposite, you look too good, way too good actually, but he knows other devils that have two eyes and functioning brains think the same, and that's what infuriates him.

Satan trusts you and knows that your eyes and your heart are placed on him and only him, but still, other devils lusting over you is something that gets on his nerves to the point where he wishes he had thousands of legs to kick all of them.

But since that's impossible and he wouldn't dare to vocally manifest his disagreement, then you'll have to settle for reassuring him constantly that he has nothing to worry about, until your words eventually get to his head and he makes a switch in his mindset.

He'll leave you to do as you please, and in case anyone dares to give you any nasty looks, he has two fists and very strong legs to beat up anyone who dares to disrespect you.

𝗠𝗔𝗠𝗠𝗢𝗡

Doesn't give a fuck, it's your body at the end of the day, you are even free to walk around naked if you want to.

He buys you tons clothes, and if you don't like them he'll give you his card so you can buy them yourself, he's your biggest supporter, and he'll even get you your personal seamstress so you can get the best quality and original clothes that suit your style and your likes perfectly.

Mammon doesn't get bothered by others staring at you, they're his too so why should he care? Their greed to have you fuels him, but knowing that he's the one that owns you and that gets to be as greedy as he wants with you gets him going like nothing else.

He might get worried that you may catch a cold by wearing your preferred style during low temperatures, but Tartaros is a country with outstanding technological advances, he'll find a way to make you heated clothes or anything else so you can still wear what makes you comfortable without getting sick.

Or he could just share his natural body heat with you by carrying you everywhere in his arms, you choose ;)

𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗟𝗭𝗘𝗕𝗨𝗕

Loves everything about you, EVERYTHING, there's no reason why your clothing decisions should be any of his business, and he probably wouldn't even notice, until he does and just tells you how hot you look.

Beelzebub might not notice what you're wearing, but he does notice others looking at you (sometimes), but he couldn't care less until the looks turn into something else, that's when he bothers, but it's nothing that his flies can't solve.

Since a big part of his fashion choices lean towards the more revealing side, he would let you borrow some of his clothes, but make sure to return them unwashed tho, though Beelzebub insisted that if they didn't fit you you could get them fixed by a seamstress, but they wouldn't fit him anymore so why does he want them back?

Beelzebub thinks it's an amazing deal, you get to have his clothes that fit your style perfectly, and in exchange, he gets to have them back but drenched in your scent, what a great businessman he is.

He also likes to get you both matching clothes, take it as one of his love languages, he might forget about a lot of things, but he'll NEVER forget to get you something cute that he thinks you'll love on one of his trips.

𝗟𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡

You would have to give him some time.

He tries, he really tries, you would have to explain to him a thousand times that you dress the way you prefer because you want and not because of others until he finally understands that he doesn't have to hang every devil that steals a glance at you.

Eventually Leviathan will begrudgingly understand, if 100 devils stare at you, he won't hang all of them, maybe 20 if he's in a good mood.

He'll also stop telling you to take off your clothes or to cover up, and he'll just give you dirty looks and shut up, be patient okay? Be grateful he's trying.

Eventually (And after reassuring him for god knows how long) Leviathan will realize that at the end of the day, you're his, and no one will take that title away from you, and the ones who should be feeling jealous are them and not him, so he'll just let them envy you both, he's still gonna hang those who's stare lingers at you for too long tho, you don't have a say in that, good luck.

𝗕𝗘𝗟𝗣𝗛𝗘𝗚𝗢𝗥

If that's what you like, go on, he pays no mind to such a thing, that's your body and he has no right to complain about it, and even if he did, that's too much of a hassle anyways.

It's not like he goes outside that much to notice others lusting at you, but he knows, it's just that he's too lazy to do something about it, he trusts you tho so he knows that he has nothing to worry about because, in the end, he knows you would rather cuddle for hours with him that pay attention to some lowly devil.

If your normal body temperature tends to lean towards the warmer side Belphegor won't leave you alone, because more skin showing= More skin to lay on to sleep.

He'll have Beleth buy you some clothes that maybe are too revealing to wear outside so you can model them to him in private, Belphegor may get a bit annoyed at first because Beleth seems to know your style too well, but that feeling goes away once he sees you, thank god Beleth knows you so well.

Bonus points if you manage to get your hands on a very bold cosplay of one of his favorite characters of an anime or Hentai and wear it around him, you'll have the king of sloth wrapped around your finder as you step into his room.

𝗟𝗨𝗖𝗜𝗙𝗘𝗥

Way more into it than what you would expect, it's your body and there's no reason to hide it, God created humans to not be ashamed of themselves, and Lucifer was proud that you were following his word.

Lucifer enjoys staring at you from a considerable distance as others stare at you and your revealed skin, maybe he does that just to feed his pride, poor lowly devils as they look at something they will never get to have, something that only he owns.

Contrary to others, Lucifer will give you his honest opinion if you ask for it, he would enjoy dressing you up in cute clothes, and he'll even get you some himself and feel like the proudest demon in hell when you wear them.

Just because he enjoys the boost of pride that others staring at you gives him doesn't mean he won't get possessive towards you, there's a limit to everything, and there's a difference between just staring and giving lusty looks and touching (or trying to touch) he draws the line there and those devils will face ruthless consequences.

His main worry is that you may catch a cold if you wear such revealing clothes in cold weather, that's the only time when he'll encourage you to cover yourself, and maybe he'll even try to force you to do it if you refuse, but he's worried okay? There's no ill intentions behind that.

𝗔𝗦𝗠𝗢𝗗𝗘𝗨𝗦

You could wear a sack of potatoes and he would still get turned on.

Lust is like fuel to him, so he doesn't mind others staring at you, that would just turn him on more, and to think that they can't have you because all of your lusty self is reserved for him and only him? Damn, he must stop thinking about that or he'll get hard.

If you were thinking that Asmodeus would behave normally around you when you have such "pleasing to the eye" clothing preferences you are terribly wrong, and covering yourself more won't make it any better, the damage was already done once his eyes landed on you

Also, more revealing clothes>more skin showing>less clothing>easier to take off.

We all know that he would rather have you naked, but since you may be against that then this works too.

𝗕𝗢𝗡𝗨𝗦

𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗔𝗦

Foras wouldn't take his eyes off you, ever, but he's a bit too shy to stare at you, so he often turns invisible so he can look at you all he wants without getting embarrassed.

He would LOVE to go shopping with you, if what you want is a partner who gives you a critical opinion about what you try on then Foras isn't for you because he would just tell you how beautiful everything looks on you and say that you look stunning in every singly synonym of that word that exists.

𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗜𝗚𝗜𝗡

It would take some time until Gamigin is finally used to your clothing preferences, in fact, he won't get fully used to it ever, but seeing you happy with your body makes him happy too, so he doesn't care.

Loves it when you model your outfits to him as he sits on your bed staring at you completely lovestruck, eventually he won't even pay attention to what you're wearing, and his gaze is only focused on you.

[guqin-and-flute]

I came across a post once a long time ago that said that Xichen's philosophy in life is to not ask pertinent questions so he can believe that everyone is Right and Good and my personal reading of him is...yes, but actually no?

I think that it's less of a philosophy than something of a compulsion? Trauma response? There is a very real mental block that says 'The matter is complex' and becomes uncomfortable/unwilling to take a hard-line stance one way or the other when he is confronted with 2 people/sides/arguments that he cannot completely fault. Yes, he doesn't delve into it, ask the questions that would need to be asked to know every detail. Some of that is trust, some of that is willful blindness and the line is fuzzy.

And yet, I don't think that he sees anyone as Right and Good; that's not the point of the response. He very acutely sees everything in shades of gray. His mother was kind and funny and sweet and she loved them so much--she also killed someone and no one else that he trusts will talk about it. His Clan helps people, devotes their time to fighting monsters, is so esteemed that other Clans send their kids to learn morals and stuff--they also locked his mother up, away from him and Wangji except for one day a month and then lied about where she was to the rest of the world.

He doesn't twist himself into knots trying to justify that either of these things are 100% Morally Right; he's just very honest about not knowing what Morally Right is. Except that he's also the leader of the Morally Right Sect and his Uncle's very real project of making a Responsible-And-Upstanding-Clan-Leader-Unlike-Qingheng-Jun-Thanks-For-Nothing-Bro. With all these pressures, he does shockingly well by not being neither entirely rigidly adherent to the rules, nor so much of a worried hand-wringer about not knowing who to trust. He tries to give grace everywhere he possibly can.

When Wuxian asks why his mom killed his father's teacher, Xichen very frankly and calmly says, 'I don't know.' There isn't discomfort in his face or tone;

In fact, he tosses it out with an almost studied nonchalance. He's very clearly thought about this before but he has either never asked or (more likely, in my opinion) has been dissuaded from asking about it quite vigorously at some point in his life and has been convinced that pursuing this further won't actually lead to any useful information for him.

He loves his mom. He loves his Clan. Something fucked up happened--but what else is new? He can do what he can with the power that he has and the responsibilities that comes with. Poking old wounds that have been dealt more than 2 decades ago don't really factor into anything; he can just draw his own conclusions and try not to make the same mistakes.

Like...he does his best with the trauma that he has been handed (his own and others).

[salubriwrites-blog]

You Chose Barbatos (Pt1)

Aaayyee we're back with more "You Chose" one shots. I actually came up with this concept a while ago, but didn't have a Leviathan devil in mind for it. Until I got to Ch5 and the answer became apparent. Will be posting Part 2 uuuhhh later!

“Do you understand the terms?” He asked, cold but urgent as he rose from his desk. His pale eyes twinkled and watched you with the same danger of a faustian devil, not of the King of Envy. 

You didn’t answer right away, not because you didn’t understand, but to keep Leviathan in suspense. Solomon had told you that the more arrogant you seemed, the more cowed the devil would be. Doing as suggested, you finished your wine slowly and allowed Leviathan to wait. Those big eyes never left you, waiting for your answer as you quietly smacked your lips to enjoy the last scent of wine. 

“I do, but I have a question.”

Tilting his head only, he looked willing to answer. 

“Are you going to be one of the devils for me to choose from?” 

Under the desk you balled your hands into anxious fists as Leviathan smiled thinly before shaking his head. “That would be unfair to everyone else, don’t you think?” He smirked as you sighed with relief, accepting his help to get out of your seat. Was this a ploy to make you reconsider? To bait you into throwing aside everything and lay yourself in his coffin, begging for his attention?

You had already been in Hades for a week as a guest to the King of Hades and Devil of Envy. Before leaving Gehenna, Satan pulled you into an alley and pushed you against a building wall as he gave you an energy transference. He didn’t allow you to bury your face in his shoulder, only letting you scream into the open air as he pumped his hips with violent precision.

“You better not strain yourself while you’re there,” he growled, leaving purple bruises shaped like his fingers in your hips as he covered you in bite marks. “No one else is allowed to do this with you. Not. Even. Leviathan.” 

Dripping and trembling from your combined orgasms, Satan left you in the care of one of the King’s generals. A pink haired devil with a purple noose around his neck smiled politely and offered you his arm for silent support as you passed into Hades. The King of Gehenna’s eyes burnt into the back of your ponytail, you know that he stood and watched until you were completely out of sight. 

Despite your best efforts, the King of Hades had worn you down. Taking you out on day trips, never spending a day in the castle as you were forced to tour and admire his kingdom. Keeping you up at night in his office reading up on the history of the Hells, he wore your social and physical battery down. You weren’t allowed to have much privacy in Hades, and those few precious times you did there was always an underlying paranoia as his attendants were everywhere. Not to mention the arms of the abyss; black, white, and silver tentacles that emerged from corners and underneath beds to help you dress, tuck you in, and wake you up. Extensions of Leviathan, you grew wear quickly of the novelty. There were only two places in Hades where you had found peace and quiet without prying gazes.

The first had been in none other than Leviathan’s coffin, where not even the King himself could wriggle his way between the cracks. It was claustrophobic and the quiet it wrought reminded you of Sitri’s bedroom, where your heartbeat sounded so loud and the rushing of your blood through your body made you lightheaded. The second was a place you had found, run into it while trying to escape Glasya who had been tasked with giving you a tour of the King’s prized gardens. Unexpectedly still, it felt like all time had stopped as you ran your fingers over the leaves of the hedge maze that swallowed you up. Whenever you needed that much sought after peace, you would pretend to play hide and seek with your attendants and slip away within the refuge. Though you were never truly alone there either, the attention that waited for you there was warm, welcoming and nurturing. You always came out of the maze with fresh flowers that Leviathan would wither under his poisonous gaze.

After a week passed, Leviathan’s scheme had worked and your fatigue set in. The need for energy, you had gotten so used to it now that you could feel when it was coming on. It started as a tingling in your toes, followed by lightheadedness that left you confused and needing to be held as you walked through the halls of the estate. Which led to now, with Leviathan offering you his hand as he walked you from his office. You were nervous, and for once he expressed something akin to gentleness and patience as you walked into the throne room one shaky step at a time. 

Explaining your needs to Leviathan, the King had gotten a thoughtful expression on his face, leaning back in his chair and steepling his fingers together. You didn’t like one bit the way he looked when he thought deeply like that. Unlike the other, more emotionally driven Kings of Hell, Leviathan was a scheming and provocative devil who actually exhibited meticulous planning in everything he did.  

Iridescent tendrils emerged from the walls to pull the doors open for the pair of you as Leviathan ushered you into the black and silver room. All the devils were lined up, all looking dashing and composed though you couldn’t imagine they were feeling calm. Dozens of eyes snapped to you, and the pressure of those gazes made your head pound. 

“I need to sit,” you uttered, almost falling out of Leviathan’s hands as you half staggered, half crawled to sit on the steps leading to the throne. Before you could though, creeping vines slithered across the ground and caught you, cradling you to sit as you caught your breath. Your eyes stole a glance from him before he was forced to stare his King in the face. 

The noose around the devil’s neck twitched as Leviathan’s eyes tightened at the gesture, but he was not yanked from his place in the lineup. 

“As you can see,” the King began, gesturing to you as the soft tendrils shaped themselves into a lounge for you. “The Daughter of Solomon has grown weak. As she continues to adjust to Hell and Hades, she will be in need of an attendant capable of providing for her. Her condition is fragile and will require the utmost, immediate care. Being available to the Daughter’s every beck and call, prepared to die for her if necessary.” 

No one in the hall spoke, just a sea of eyes that watched Leviathan as he stepped aside to let them watch you struggle. 

“However, due to the unique nature of her needs, she will choose only one of you to be hers.”

Now the devils were showing a reaction, they all seemed to check themselves, straightening out their regalia and preening for you. Not him, though. His eyes remained steadfast on His Majesty, never once fidgeting with his suit or feeling the chain on his horns. 

Leviathan’s plan was nasty, forcing you to publicly reject all other devils in favor of one. His gratification was going to come from watching the hope drain out of their eyes and faces as you walked down the line telling each of them no. If only you could walk now, as you looked out at the neat lineup. You were dreading having to make a choice, because who knew what kind of retaliation you might face for rejecting any of them. Time was of the essence though, you would just have to get your energy back quickly before facing the repercussions of your decision. 

Rising to your feet and taking small sips of air, you started at the left end closest to Leviathan. In a hurry to get it over with, you approached the first devil. 

Orias was standing still, hands behind his back with his shoulders square, staring at you flirtatiously as you approached. You hadn’t thought about how you were going to do it, but you were certain that Leviathan would have notes on your process. Maintaining a respectful distance back, out of arm’s reach, you leveled your gaze against the petite devil. “No,” you said simply, a lump forming in your stomach at the heartbreak in his smile. 

Behind you, Leviathan let out a noise that sounded almost like a snicker. 

A few more rejections down, you came to stand face to face with Foras. You and he had developed a friendship that included finding places to hide from Leviathan. “No,” you said with a little more difficulty, wishing that you could grab the word and swallow it as his shoulders fell. His rejection tasted bitter in the back of your throat as you moved hurriedly past him. All the while, Leviathan walked parallel to you, reading the faces of his subordinates and reveling in their emotions. Occasionally he would make little sounds and comments that would dare the devils to act out of anger. 

“Oh, that’s a surprise.”

“I thought you two had something.” 

“Shame.”

His spiteful commentary followed you down the line as you started just ignoring the faces that you walked past, eager to reach the end. Ready to make your choice, you kept your eyes forward and didn’t even look at most of them. His Majesty’s snarky observations stopped when he saw you moving with purpose, your weakened state temporarily abating as your choice drove you. Leviathan’s eyes started searching the devils that were lined up ahead of you, trying to predict to whom your stride took you. 

Perhaps it was the devil’s own ego that made him wait at the very end of the line, he was a subordinate to the Perfect Devil of Envy, after all. What a way to stroke his ego as he watched you rush past the devils who were now stepping out of line to watch and see where you’d go. However your strength was failing you, the dew drops of sweat trickled down your neck and under your dress as you neared the end of the line. Just how many devils had Leviathan summoned for this public humiliation? Most of them you didn’t even recognize as you brushed through. 

You collapsed before getting to the end, where a strong pair of arms caught you as you stumbled. Relieved, you smiled upward, prepared to touch his face and make your choice-

“Your Majesty, the Most High, the Greatest, and the Most Beautiful,” a deep voice announced, the bass in Glasya’s voice stirred adrenaline into your system. “I’m afraid that the Daughter of Solomon is too weak to continue.” 

That wasn’t true, you thought but your limbs felt too heavy to pull yourself upright and out of his hold. Hanging your head backward, from your upside down perspective you saw a pair of golden boots approaching. 

“She has worn herself out from coming all this way, please excuse us so I may tend to her as the one she chose,” speaking smoothly and confidently, Glasya stood with you in his arms. 

No, no. You thought, rolling your head away from his chest, trying to open your mouth to speak. Your jaw felt heavy and your limbs weighed down, this had to be some sort of spell he had cast on you. Or was it actually the exhaustion? You couldn’t tell because you found your throat and chest tightening, lungs aching and bones sagging.

Leviathan was looking at you, seeming to wait for you to confirm that Glasya Labolas was indeed your choice. When you didn’t show an outward sign, he shrugged and waved his hand. 

“Very well-”

“I apologize for interrupting, Your Majesty.” A cool voice butted in, and the room went still as you found the strength to yank your arm out of your lap as if by marionette strings.

Rolling your head, you peeled your sealed lips into a smile as he winked knowingly at you. “I believe that she just needs a little bit of a pick me up before she continues.” 

His lips felt warm on your skin, tickling and tanning your cheeks with a flush as the devil had the audacity to kiss you in Glasya’s arms. Maybe it was the butterflies stirred to life in your stomach, or maybe it was the little bit of strength he lent you, but you wrapped your arm around his shoulder and kissed Barbatos back. 

Whatever trick Glasya had pulled was no match, like a flower before the dawn you found your strength and opened for the sunny devil. Wriggling with new found power, you fell out of the devil’s arms and Barbatos caught you easily. A tsunami of disappointed murmurs threatened to crash over the pair of you, disgusted and envious of the unabashed affection the devil took from you. 

“Barbatos,” you gasped though, clinging to his shoulders, knees weak and barely to hold yourself up as you turned your focus onto Glasya. “I choose Barbatos, not you.” 

The dark devil did not respond, just stared wondering if you would tear into him for what trick he had used to manipulate your silence. You didn’t give him another glance, turning to give Barbatos a softer, more appropriate peck on the lips. 

“So be it,” Leviathan said stiffly, it was clear to you that even he was annoyed that whatever scheme he had planned backfired. That you grabbed the blonde devil’s hands excited, pulling him eagerly out of the room. “Well, Barbatos, I temporarily release you from your duties. The Daughter of Solomon has a need for you, do not make me regret her decision.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Your Majesty, the Most High, the Greatest, and the Most Beautiful.” Barbatos replied, bowing deeply before letting you pull him from the throne room. Out of the corner of your eye, you thought you saw him flash Glasya a rude gesture just before the doors closed on you both.

[boiohboii]

The trophy boyfriend pt3.

The one where the rumors turn into reality

People thought they lost Carlos to a different type of WAG

or

In which f1 fans are introduced to a South Korean chaebol and now they want to fight her rumored boyfriend for her love and attention.... but is he even her actual boyfriend?

PART 2

Liked by KimJeonwoo, carlossainz55, SuaveStore and 918,251 others

Danielricciardo: hello everyone, I know this is not the way I usually post things, but I want to do that for her.

Her being the love of my life: Kim YN. I have met you 6 years ago, you had just graduated and were excited to visit your friend, however I fell behind you trying to get your attention, just a minute to have your phone number, but alas you heard the thud turned around, looked me in the eye, nodded and then left. I wanted to cry that day, not because of embarrassment, no, because I had let an angel just walk away from me. I spent years with your face in mind, looking everywhere I go in hopes of finding you again, but it was you who found me. The only difference this time is that I knew you were my friend's friend. I knew your name, and I knew you were way out of league- you still are and always will be.

I remember your blinking eyes at my proposal of a date, and you just gave me that precious smile of yours while writing your number on my arm. I had tried to think so hard of how to impress you, impress a woman who had everything at her feet, you could always just pick and choose whatever you want whenever you want.

That date was simple, just us in your restaurant and no one else. At first I had thought it was for your privacy, but 2 years down the line I had asked you about that night, and I will always remember your words: "I do not care if anyone knew, yes I value my privacy, but I valued getting to know you more, you are much more important to me" and since that day I swore that I would not drag you into my world- we are, after all, from 2 very different worlds- but as we now approach our 5th year together, I can not help but boast about you for once. Boast about the fact that you had taken me as your fiance and the man you will call your husband.

I swear that till the day I die I will cherish you. I will respect, love and care for you for the rest of my life. I may be a race driver, but I will, first and foremost, always be yours.

This is for every fan of mine, thank you for being by my side and thank you for everything throughout the years, to reassure you I will not be retiring but my priorities have shifted a bit. I am and will always be grateful for the wonderful opportunity I have been granted and I will keep working hard for you and for my team. Please do not try to know where Y/N is or what she is doing, she is a private person and I hope all of you understand that. I don't want her to regret being with me, so please leave her alone. I will not be releasing anymore pictures of her on either of my accounts as we have been doing for the past 4 years, don't try to send a follow request on her account either, she will not mistakenly accept- she is one of the smartest people alive.

Thank you Kim Y/N for the lovely moments and the breathtaking years. I can only dream of the many more dazzling years to come with you by my side, darling.

~comments on this post have been disabled~

{Taglist: @laneyspaulding19 }

NEXT

[ladyyatexel]

Friends, Romans, Tumblrites, lend me your reblogs.

I'm Xel and I live in a society! I think there's a solid chance you do also! So you may relate to the profoundly crappy thing that happened to me and that I once again need a community assist.

I lost a temporary job that was supposed to turn into a permanent job in June because no one there felt safe enough to retire. Only two of us in the apartment were under 50. One of the crew was over 70. Three were chronically ill/disabled. No one felt safe enough to leave in order for me to stay, so I was trained for basically 6 months for nothing.

I have survived on savings from that job until this point, but I'm at the point where I cannot pay rent. I'm looking into getting help from sources more local to me but the internet has always felt like people who cared about me more than the people I share DNA with, really.

Many of the social services that I was signed up for expired the day that I was supposed to be told that I would be a permanent hire, and since that didn't go down, now I have to start it all again from the beginning, and there are gaps in my security net.

I tell you all of that just to say that I am actually trying to do things, I'm not here to just beg and coast along on some sort of lavish lifestyle where I, uh. Keep living in this dodgy apartment with my cat.

I don't want to bore you with an itemized list, but like 2,000 US dollars would get me through September and October without being worried about it like every 3 minutes. My rent is 700 and change, if you would like to know that. So I'm looking for like September and October rent and money to renew my driver's license, pay a few utility bills, buy a bag of cat food, and refill my medications.

If you have the notion to toss help at an internet pal or the extended reblogged acquaintance of an Internet pal, as is more likely the case, probably, that would be super rad of you.

I'm an artist! You could get things with images on them from me! I sell buttons, prints, and commissioned illustrations if that's your thing. My commissions are going a bit slow as of late - I only recovered from being not really able to walk like 2 months ago, and so I'm doing a lot of catch up like everywhere else in my whole life and trying not to spend too much time at a desk since it aggravates the spine thing that was the problem in the first place.

To be honest, it would be a greater help to me to just receive some Aid rather than full-on commissions, but I completely understand feeling fishy about people getting something for nothing and also feeling bad for being a charity case on the internet, so I'm not opposed! If you want to chat about that, I have a commissions post on the side or top of my blog depending on where you're looking at this!

Ko-fi contains my buttons and is a good place to toss digital dead American presidents if that suits you. I will get hit by some PayPal fees in this process but, I'm willing to call that a call for help on the internet tax.

I promise I'm a real person and not a bot who has made up a cat and is pretending to have interests. My blog has been here since 2010! I've met people on this website in person and everything. I've had embarrassing obsessions no bot would bother coming up with. Speaking of:

Similarly to times before, I would like to be able to do something in order to feel like I have earned some kind of support, and as of my birthday last week I have resolved to try very hard in the next year to conquer my fear and absolute mortification about many of the things I make, so I will once again go digging into my archives for things I can post for you to enjoy as thanks and tribute! I also have a poll running right now to see what kind of buttons people want!

Thanks for taking a look! Be nice out there, take care of your spines!

[copper-16]

For those lovely people who read Do You See Something I Can’t?…Chapter 8 will be posted tomorrow (June 2nd), at 1pm EST!

We’ve got 5 chapters, 57k words in total, and a schedule (because I am nothing without my schedule!) Since the chapters are a little on the longer side, I want to give everyone ample time to fully read. So, the plan is that there will be a new chapter every 3 days, so the whole thing will be posted over the span of a little over 2 weeks. 

I totally understand how it can be hard to follow a story when there are long gaps in between chapter being posted, so I hope this is easier to follow along and engage with, by writing everything ahead and posting in a streamline manner. We shall see if this makes it better for you guys as readers, I’m curious as to your feedback! Regardless I want people to enjoy reading it, and if that happens then I am a happy camper, above all else. 

Spotify Playlist for the second half can be found here!

For everyone who is still reading this long ass announcement and have gotten themselves all caught up if they wish, here is the first part of Chapter 8 before it is posted tomorrow 🩵

Ingrid stared down at her phone, shifting nervously in her seat. Mapi sat across from her, the Spaniard’s hands folded on the table in front of her, as she watched the Norwegian closely. 

The dark haired woman sat up more, swallowing roughly. There were a million thoughts going through her head, and she looked up at the brunette with a slightly panicked expression. 

“What if I just went back?” Ingrid asked in a panic, and Mapi tilted her head to the side, her eyebrows furrowing. 

“Do you actually want to? Or are you simply scared to make this call?” She asked gently, and the full back allowed herself to slouch slightly under the intensity of her—girlfriend? Friend? Person who professed their love to her less than 12 hours ago, and hasn’t had time to put a label on it yet? 

She allows herself to slouch slightly under the intensity of her…of her…of Mapi’s gaze, feeling a bubble of shame rise up in her. The Spaniard is quick to stand, walking around the table to take a seat next to Ingrid as opposed to across from her. 

“I am not asking to make you feel bad,” Mapi reminds gently, gesturing to the phone. “But I know you do not want to go back there, and that you are scared to put your foot down. You need to though, and I promise you will get through it. I will be right here,” she continued, and Ingrid looked over at her skeptically. 

It was such a strange jump, the last twelve hours. Ingrid had returned to Barcelona to pack up her apartment to move, and had almost finished doing just that. There were boxes littered everywhere in her apartment, a fact that Mapi had yet to comment on. 

Instead, they remained where they were at the table as the sun rose in the sky, and Ingrid worked up the courage to call her manager back and explain that she was not going back to Wolfsburg. 

The Norwegian picked her phone up finally, pressing the contact for her manager before she held it up to her ear. Her foot tapped anxiously below her, a reminder of the anxiety coursing through her body even as Mapi sat beside her, looking at her with encouragement. 

“Hello Ingrid!” Thomas said cheerfully into the phone, and Ingrid opened her mouth to speak before she coughed abruptly, which kick started her into speaking.

“H-hi Thomas!” She replied, her voice thready and nervous, an octave too high. If her plan had been to play it cool, she would have been failing miserably. Luckily, her only goal was to get through the phone call in one piece. 

“Is everything alright?” Thomas asked quickly, concern laced into her tone. 

“Yes, yes, everything is okay. I just need to talk to you about something,” Ingrid choked out, even as she felt like her throat might close up. Her free hand lashed out, clamping down on the center back’s thigh with a forcefield of anxiety. 

The brunette, however, didn’t miss a beat, simply peeling the Norwegian’s hand away from her thigh and lacing their fingers together, squeezing softly. Ingrid gripped her hand tightly, and the Spaniard could feel the shake of the full back’s hand in hers. 

“Okay, what did you need to discuss?” Thomas asked, sounding diplomatic. Ingrid took a large breath in, slowly letting it out before responding. 

“I am going to stay at Barcelona. I will not be accepting Wolfsburg’s offer,” The dark haired woman managed to get out, hoping that she sounded more confident than she felt. Mapi’s thumb was very lightly trailing back and forth over the back of her palm, and she reminded herself very gently to relax her shoulders. 

“You—what?” Her agent spluttered out, clearly caught off guard. 

“I want to stay here, in Barcelona. Tell Wolfsburg I reject,” Ingrid repeated, her voice more secure this time. 

“Ingrid, you would be insane to reject their offer! It is one of the most lucrative deals I’ve had come across my desk for a female footballer, you’d be in the top 5% of paid female footballers. Hell, you’ve already told them you’d accept!” Thomas implored, his voice edging on panic. 

He had promised Wolfsburg that this deal would go through, that Ingrid would accept. She had always listened to him, she had always been easily manipulated when necessary. 

“I gave them a verbal agreement, but no contract was signed. I don’t…I don’t care about the money. Get me more brand deals or something, I want to stay in Barcelona,” Ingrid repeated, standing up for herself as Mapi watched on, growing more nervous as the conversation continued. She couldn’t hear what Ingrid’s manager was saying, but she could tell that he wasn’t responding with a super positive tone. 

“Ingrid, as your manager, I cannot let you do this. You need to get your head on straight,” Thomas replied harshly, and the full back straightened, her nerves washed away and replaced with something akin to anger. 

“My head is perfectly straight,” if it were not for the seriousness of the situation, both women might have laughed at the falseness of this statement, considering the Norwegian’s sexuality. “I am staying in Barcelona.” 

“You’ve told Wolfsburg you’d be there!” Thomas cried, though it wasn’t really true. She had agreed to the deal, sure, but she had never signed anything. She wasn’t obligated to them, she only was because Thomas had tried to make her obligated to them because he knew it would earn himself more money.

“No, you told Wolfsburg I would be there. And why the hell are you pressuring me so heavily? You are supposed to be on my side, not theirs!” Ingrid accused, and Mapi resisted the urge to flinch at the return of the woman she had become acutely used to in the last six months. 

“I am on your side, it’s just that—” Thomas tried, but the dark haired woman was quick to cut him off before he could really even begin. 

“No, you’re not, if you’re trying this hard to push me into something I clearly do not want. I’m staying, that is the end of the discussion!” Ingrid cried, removing the phone from her ear and slamming her finger down onto the ‘end call’ button. 

The Norwegian’s phone clattered onto the table as she breathed heavily, a fraught silence descending between them. 

The brunette was holding her breath, unsure of what was going to happen. Ingrid had been upset on the phone, she had been angry. 

Would it translate into anger toward Mapi? That is how it had always been, but the Spaniard wasn’t sure if that would persist or not. She knew Ingrid was capable of change, but she was unsure if something as triggering as this could lead to anything resembling softness. 

What’s going to happen? Well…you’ll have to tune in to find out! 

[brooooswriting]

Hey, I was wondering if you could write a Jenna Ortega x Reader fic. In which they were best friends as kids with the same dream of being an actor. Then by becoming an actress Jenna moved away from R because of her busy schedule. After several years without speaking to each other, they find themselves both engaged to play in Wednesday. PS: I love your work. Also sorry for the mistakes I don't speak English.

Long time ago

Jenna Ortega x reader

A/n: I still had this in my drafts and decided to post it, I don’t like the way it ends but I couldn’t think of something better. So enjoy :)

“Since when did you want to become an actress?” The interviewer asked the brunette in front of him, Jenna Ortega. “Oh, since I was a child. My best friend back then and I always had this dream of becoming actors and you know, take over Hollywood, I guess in some way it did come true” she answered, a smile gracing over her features.

It was you, you were the ‘best friend’ she was talking about you. It was your biggest dream to become and actress and by now you finally had some roles but you weren’t as big as Jenna. The girl who kind of ghosted you a couple of years ago, well 2 years and 4 months to be exact, but whose counting right? Well, you were as you were still hurt. It broke the both of you when she moved away from home for her new jobs but you never imagined her to stop answering at all, she texted less and less for 1 year’s until she suddenly didn’t reply at all.

“Mom? I have the role, I did it!! This could be my break through” you screamed into the phone. Your first big role, you were actually hired for the new ‘Wednesday’ series and you couldn’t wait. Sure, you had to move to Romania but it was definitely worth it. So, that day you packed your bag, happy to meet new people and finally show your talent.

Two weeks later you arrived in Romania, beforehand you had built up some contact with Emma Myers and Naomi over instagram. You had decided to meet up at the airport as you were all arriving around the same time, you could share a ride to the apartments and get to know each other more. It still wasn’t out who was going to play Wednesday herself and you couldn’t wait to find out.

About an hour later met both of the girls and made your way towards the apartments where you’d meet the rest of the cast. The mood between you three was pretty chill, it was noticeable that all off you were a bit nervous to meet the rest but nonetheless you were happy. “I heard that Cathrine Zeta-Jones is going to play Mortica” Emma told the two of you as you shared all the tea you’ve heard about the series.

After storing your luggage you went to meet up with the rest where Tim burton would finally reveal the actress that would play Wednesday. “Emma, Y/n, since you are the people that will be the closest to her you should meet her first” Tim said before he led you into a room where a certain person said. You would recognize that face everywhere, you froze, your breath slowed while your heartbeat quickened, while your face felt hot your arms where feeling so cold. The girl in front of you froze for a millisecond before recovering and greeting the third party in the room, Emma, who immediately noticed your weird behavior. “You alright?” She mumbled out in your direction, only earning a light shaking of your head as an answer. “Im sorry, I don’t feel good” you directed toward the director of the series, “oh, then you should probably go lay down, we can do this somewhen else. Get better” he told you before you speed walked out of the room, walking through your other crew members who were pretty confused. Emma and Tom looked after you with concern written all over their features, while Tim certainly was something special, he somehow felt connected to you and your behavior was more than weird to him. Jenna on the other hand couldn’t quite decide what/ how she felt, the only thing she knew was that she’d have to look for you after this.

“We’ll be friends forever right? No matter what, we’ll stay together?” Jenna asked you as you sat on a swing, your mothers sitting on a bench not far away talking about who knows what. “Friends forever, no matter what” you answered as she held out her pinky, intervening it with your. Both of you whispering out a “pinky promise”

The memory flooded in your head as you laid in your bed staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what to do now. The whole thing made your head and your heart hurt, so you plugged in your headphones, hoping that they’d make you stop thinking.

“I think we’d make great actresses, we’d be very believable” you told the brunette as you were coloring at the table in the living room. “Of course, we could always play the best friends” she grinned as she looked at the picture you drew, “yeah, after all we are best friends forever, right?” You said holding out your pinky, hers wrapping around yours, “pinky promise”

Memories clouded in your head that night when you fell asleep, exhausted from the tears and the overthinking. The next morning you were the first person awake, as you also were the first person asleep. You made your way into the kitchen to make yourself a coffee and sat down on the small balcony with your script as you watched the sunrise. A small ‘good morning’ came from behind you shortly before the sun was completely up causing you to turn around, in front of you Jenna.

The girl sighed when you immediately stood up and went upstairs again. She understood that you were mad at her but you would have to talk to her when you worked together. At the moment you didn’t seem to show any signs of budging.

You went upstairs into your room again where you sat on the end of your bed resting your upper body against the headrest. The script in your hand was slightly shaking as your eyes watered. You didn’t know how you should be able to work with her when you could barely talk to her.

The next time you exited your room the car to drive you to set arrived. You squeezed in the back next to Emma and Noami keeping up slight smalltalk so it wouldn’t get too awkward. It was rather obvious that there was something wrong between you two but nobody wanted to make things worse so they kept quiet.

It went like this for over two weeks, you talked to the others and tried to keep your distance from the brunette but as the filming went further it was harder and harder and it was obvious that it took a toll on you. That night there was a knock on your door and you already dreaded who was gonna come inside but invited them in nonetheless.

“Hello hun” it was Cathrine. You smiled as you greeted her back while she wandered around your room until she sat down on your bed next to you. “How can I help you?” Your voice was polite as it always was when you talked to her, she was like a mother figure to you. It was weird, honestly, she hugged you when you first met and since then there was just a connection. “I wanna talk to you about something that seemed like an obvious problem to all of us, we’ve seen how it takes a toll and you and we want it to become better” you sighed already knowing what this is about. You pulled your blanket up higher until half of your face was covered. “I don’t wanna talk about it” you mumbled into the blanket as a hand stroked your arm. “What happened between you two hun?” Another sigh followed before you decided that there was no going back.

“We used to best friends, a long time you know. We’ve always wanted to be actors, together but she made it wayyyy before I did and that has never been a problem to me. I was proud, the only thing I wanted was to stay in contact and we did for a small but until she suddenly ghosted me. No text, no call, not even an answer on my texts. She left me like I was nothing, while she was my best friend, maybe even more than that. But I was nothing to her” you had to hold back your tears, you didn’t want to cry and kept telling yourself that Jenna wasn’t worth it, but oh how she was. “That sound terrible and there are barely any excuses that could make what she did okay but it’s also hurting her. Maybe you should talk to her, listen to what she has to say for herself. You can either be friends again or you’ll at least get closure” you laid your head on her shoulder as you nodded slightly.

“Now let’s get down, we are having drinks” she pulled you downstairs without any regards to your unwillingness. “Look who I found upstairs” she called out causing the others to applaud and you to blush, the blush got even worse when your eyes met Jenna’s. “Come on, Gwendoline is making drinks” Emma said and pet the spot next to her.

It didn’t take long for everybody to be a bit tipsy while you were a bit more than tipsy, you were babbling and rambling while everybody was laughing. When your face suddenly changed the only person who noticed was your old best friend. She knew that look, and wasn’t surprised when you suddenly stood up and walked away, nobody else seemed to notice in their intoxicated mindset.

So she was quick to stand up and follow you upstairs where she found you, unsurprisingly, howling over the toilet. “Did you already throw up?” She asked as she kneeled behind you, the answer was a slight shaking of your head. “Then let’s wait a bit longer, shall we?” She said as she rubbed your back. It was unknown to the actress if you were to drunk to realize who she was or if you just needed the comfort, but she took what she could get.

About 20 minutes later you didn’t feel like throwing up anymore, so she helped you up and took you to bed, hers not yours. She wanted to make sure that you were fine and it was closer. “Why did you ghost me? I loved you so much and you just disappear. Why? Do you know how much that broke me?” You slurred when she sat you on the bed. “I’m sorry, I was overwhelmed and I was in love with you and I was scared that people here weren’t going to accept me and that you weren’t going to accept me when I told you, so I thought that if I break any contact that I’ll forget about you. But I never did, I still love you like the day I left. Every damn day I thought about that stupid smile you had when I FaceTimed you or how your eyes sparkled when we saw a dog outside, the way my heart fluttered when you texted me and when you held my hand. It was like everything was you” she guessed that you’d forget about all this in the morning. “You could have just told me. We could have been a power couple” you grinned before falling back on the bed and falling asleep.

The next morning you woke up in Jenna’s arms which made your heartbeat quicken at least until you noticed the unbearable headache and groaned. The sound caused Jenna to wake up, “headache?” She asked as she untangled herself from you to reach over you. You grabbed the water and the pills from her hand and mumbled a small thank you. “Do you remember what I said yesterday?” She asked with hope in her eyes, the way it felt to have you in her arms was just right. It was like it was made to be, like you were a puzzle that was finally done. “I do, most of it I believe at least” you mumbled as you drowned the rest of the water. “Maybe we should-“ before she could finish someone knocked on the door. “Guys you are late! We will be picked up in 10 minutes” that made you two jump from the bed and run to get ready.

The day on set was awkward, there was a lot that you two had to talk about but you couldn’t be alone for even 5 minutes. And to make it worse, today was the filming of the first kissing scene.

You laid on the ground in the middle of the woods, you had big cuts all over your body and fake blood was everywhere. Jenna was kneeling down next to you, her hands on your wounds. “You will be alright” she said in her Wednesday voice, but you shook your head. “I won’t. There is no way anyone will come in time but at least I get to spend the last minutes of my life with you” you chuckled weakly. “You are not going to die!” She said but you both were sure you would. Your eyes started to drop slightly, “stay with me” she said before her eyes roamed your face.

She suddenly leaned forward and pressed her lips to yours in a slow but passionate kiss. When she pulled away your eyes opened again as you smiled at her before they dropped shut and sirens could be heard.

After the director called cut Jenna helped you up from the ground. “That was great guys, go get cleaned up before we film the next scene” you nodded and went away to the makeup trailers but you pulled her away before you arrived. “Can we please talk about this? I can’t concentrate” you pleaded with a hand on her waist. “I don’t think there is a lot to talk about” your heart broke before she continued “I like you, you like me. So let’s do on a date. I wanna make right what I fucked up before” you smiled as you nodded before leaning in kissing her with your hands around her waist.

“Yes!” And “finally” could be heard around you causing you to break apart. The crew stood around you which made both of you blush and Jenna try to hide her head in her chest while they laughed.

This was the beginning of something great

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

Knot-a-lot of Moons Ago

A Birthday fic for @heartstringsduet

Hi Michelle! Sorry I'm late! This is for you, on your birthday <3

I won't say Happy Birthday, bc it'll mess it up (this one doesn't count bc it's deleted). You might also notice three extra, free flowing Happy Birthday's in the header. That was a mistake, but it all adds up, as you'll see soon.

And if you feel like saying thank you, or even saying 'Maarr almost 16K words? This is too much!!' Just know that, 1) As for the word-count, this fic turned into a monster all on its own, one that I completely lost control of. And 2) You having a birthday catalyzed me actually posting my first fic to this fandom, so really I should be thanking YOU! (thank you)

Summary:

Knot - ugh NOT (and why does TK keep seeing that word everywhere now?!) even a year ago TK Strand gave fully into the universe and it's magnetic pull towards one Carlos Reyes, and married him.

Ever since they did the photoshoot that brought them together, the internet has been going wild over them, and TK not so secretly enjoys the attention. Carlos doesn't really get TK's guilty pleasure of reading fanfiction about them, though TK claims it's good for 'Inspiration'.

One night, TK comes across the fics of a certain user named EnchantedToReadYou..

Beautiful words woven in intricate patterns makes him think of him and Carlos, their story and what they had to go through to get to where they are now. And both he and Carlos certainly finds some inspiration.

A fanfiction about fanfiction. And about TK and Carlos. And an homage to EnchantedToReadYou's writing, on her birthday (or well, on the day after because this author is late as usual.)

And a snippet (or frøsnapper as they say in danish):

It’s amazing, TK thinks, skimming over now familiar words, how this author brings color to their stories with their words. The mystery-filled deep darkness of a room at night in New York City barely concealing someone trying to make their way through a window, bringing the light that they thought they were seeking out in the very room they’re trying to enter. 

The harsh cold grey of a city on days where nothing makes sense, the green grass and clear spring air and pink fluttering butterflies both outside and inside someone’s belly on a day where it does. Every color made clearer and yet clouded with the nerves of being newly in love and knowing it’s reciprocated. By the hope of trying and the fear of not knowing the destination. 

Or the sunflower yellow of a day spent in love, matching the flowers that symbolize finding yourself by becoming someone who might be able to be someone’s boyfriend, the dark center of the flower painting the background of truths not yet confessed and everything else ruling against these two lying lovers.

This story is a sultry, warm yellow, intensely inviting, speckled with the purple of lovemarks scattered on inner thighs, deep in color as all the layers of love and worship, of hunger, surrender, and trust.

[eleanorandphantom]

Shifting Story Time!!

Okay so to start!

I, unfortunately, did not shift to my DR either time but surprisingly, I shifted to the same place twice

It was around 6 days ago, I had taken a break from shifting attempts so shifting hadn't been in my mind at all throughout this time. The only time shifting was brought up in my day was when I randomly said out loud "Huh, I want to be in my waiting room right now. Guess I'm there now lol" and just completely forgot about it and carried on with my day.

WELL SHOCKER CUZ THAT NIGHT I SHIFTED.

As I said, it wasn't to my DR, nor my Waiting room. I shifted to a fucking abandoned storage unit box thingy in the MIDDLE OF THE WOODS?!?! The only DR this could possibly remind me of would be my apocalypse DR, which funny enough I scripted that I would live in a rundown place, but not a storage unit. I'm gonna put some pics from Pinterest to describe what it looks like there:

I was inside this thing, the opening was completely off of the hinges so it was on the ground. Vines and moss COVERED this thing, and the scent of rust was THICK in the air. Metal bars kinda jutted out of it and there were a lot of bugs everywhere, like flies, butterflies, moths, etc.

There was a dip in the earth under it which led into a path in the woods, in the distance I could hear some forms of gunshots/yelling ???

this is what the path kinda looks like, although a ton more trees than that though, I could barely see the path.

When I woke up here I was standing alone inside the rundown storage unit, and I looked around confused. I realized I shifted when a mosquito bit at my arm and I could smell the rust, at first I was petrified.

I immediately started walking out of the unit, I tripped over the dip in the earth, and then I started hearing the gunshots, far in the distance. I started repeating my switch word (it's a phrase that I use if I shift to the wrong reality that brings me immediately to my waiting room, in case of emergency) my switch word is "shoot wrong reality"

I kept repeating it and I saw glimpses of my WR, but I wasn't grounded enough and the gunshots got so close that I shifted back to my CR out of fear. It was TERRIFYING. BUT SO AMAZING.

It was honestly beautiful there, I love the idea that nature would take control after the apocalypse and how beautiful it would be with nature corroding everything, masking away any form of civilization with beauty and life.

When I came back I screamed (sorry momma & papa)

It took me about 2 hours to register what happened, and it had me questioning whether I shifted or not, but I know I shifted because I was there

That was the first night, the night after I SHIFTED BACK??

It was for a shorter time, but I remember waking up and running fast, there were more storage units scattered around, I thought I saw someone else running and when I called to them I woke back in my CR

I don't know where this place is, but I was there, TWICE, and now I'm so excited to actually try to go to my DR

So yeah!!!

It took me a while to really process this, which is why I didn't want to post about it right away, I needed to be completely sure, as I don't want to spread misinformation

I hope this gives you some motivation! Happy shifting <333

[prythiansfavoritefox]

Elain focused on her breathing, trying to steady them. 1, 2, 3. She had had the dream again. The dream that was not a dream, but an unfortunate reality she had to relive every time she fell asleep.

Her father, who had died in front of their very eyes. Her father who had been depressed and disabled for much of his life, but came back to fight for them in the end. Who had been so heartlessly murdered by the King of Hybern.

She took a shaky breath as the tears began to fall down her face. She missed her father so badly, but she could not speak to this with her sisters, who had resented him greatly. And she understood, she really did, but...it would be nice to speak to someone who truly loved him for once.

Alas, there was no one to speak to but a cold grave. Getting up, Elain brushed her hair, sweeping it into an elegant bun. She hesitated, looking at the coat in the closet before deciding she didn't have the strength to fight her need for comfort. She threw on the coat, savoring the lingering scents on it.

Nobody else appeared to be awake. Good. She wished to take this journey alone without being followed or questioned. She wasn't stupid; she knew Nuala and Cerridwen had been set on her to keep track of her movements. Well, there was little she could do to counter that. At least she could befriend them and try to get them on her side so she could gain benefits.

The entire Inner Circle would probably faint with shock if they saw that Elain had taken such a long journey on her own two feet. It's not proper for a lady to walk this far! She's too delicate to walk this much! Pahhh. They always seemed to forget that they would all be dead were it not for her killing the King of Hybern. It wasn't something she much liked to talk about because of her aversion to violence, but some days she wished to scream it so that they'd think she's actually worth something.

Hell, Cassian would be dead too were it not for her. He had lost so much blood due to the shredded wings that he had been inches away from death. Elain had used her healing powers on him, and Cassian, half-delirious with blood loss, had not realized what she'd done. Not even Elain knew how she'd done it, considering when Feyre had been bleeding and dying months later, she had been unable to summon the powers again, no matter what she did.

The only good thing about that was that Nesta had managed to save them and the Inner Circle didn't know about her raw magic, otherwise they would find a way to use her too. No, better they think her a useless silly little thing.

As she walked towards the headstone, to her surprise, she already found somebody there, kneeling beside him. For a wild moment, Elain thought that it might be Nesta. She knew she had somewhat made her peace with him recently, so it wasn't entirely out of the realm. She began to run towards her father's resting spot, crying out, "Nesta!" The person beside the grave turned around. Elain's words died in her throat.

"You're-you're not Nesta." Way to be fucking obvious, Elain. But she could hardly think with him near her. When she wasn't dreaming of her father's death and stabbing the King of Hybern, she was dreaming of him.

Well, shit. She was wearing the cloak Lucien had given her that day by the Cauldron. How embarrassing. Her face went beet red as Lucien's eyes focused on her, taking note of her bare legs and the cloak around her shoulders. Her body began to pulse everywhere from her chest to between her legs, and she knew Lucien could hear it. She clenched her hands in her dress, resisting the urge to grab him at that very moment and kiss him senseless. That would be highly inappropriate; they were at her father's grave, for god's sake.

"Elain," he said so quietly she almost didn't hear it, leaping to his feet and bowing to her. "Apologies, lady. I shall leave you to grieve in peace."

Elain grabbed his wrist as he was about to leave. How could she have forgotten? He'd known her father. He'd gone to the continent and brought him back based on her vision. "Please," she breathed. "Stay."

Lucien looked at her hand then back into her eyes. "Ok," he said slowly. He lowered himself down to the grave again, Elain going with him. They sat there in comfortable silence for some time before Elain whispered, "You knew him. My father."

"Yes, I knew Tristan. He was a good man, at least in the time I knew him," he replied. "Feyre never seemed too fond of him, though."

Elain sighed. "Feyre and Nesta never forgave him for leaving us to fend for ourselves during poverty."

"Well, I can't blame them." Elain opened her mouth to protest, but he went on. "But he'd lost his wife and could hardly walk. I don't blame him for hurting either. He tried his best, in the end, to do right by you girls."

Elain nodded. "Poor Papa. Feyre and Nesta were always snapping at him for making his little wood carvings instead of finding a way out of poverty. Perhaps if they'd been a little gentler with him, he might have..." a sigh. "Anyway, he's gone now."

Lucien squeezed her hand. "No one dies as long as their reputation lasts." Elain snorted lightly. "Are you some sort of philosopher or something?" Lucien raised his brows teasingly. "Maybe I am."

Elain couldn't resist smiling back. "What was he like? Papa. With you."

Lucien smiled reminiscently. "He was a very single-minded person. He might have only been human, yet he could command a room with his voice. Very charming, very forthright. And he couldn't shut up about you girls." He laughed. "I remember when I finally told him that we're mates, he grilled me for hours. About my birth, my occupations, my habits. Internally I was terrified of disappointing him, but at the end he just handed me a drink and said, 'You don't look quite like the man I imagined my Elain will marry, but you certainly act like the man I want her to marry.' Then he told me stories about all your childhoods for the rest of the night."

Elain beamed. That sounded a lot more like her father before their family had been lost to poverty. It made her happy that her father was able to be more like himself with someone before he'd left. "Thank you for telling me this," she murmured. "It's nice to talk to someone who knew him as I did."

Lucien inclined his head. "Happy to be of service, my lady."

Elain leaned her head against his shoulder and did not move for a long time.

Inspired by the post I saw a while ago saying Lucien visits Papa Archeron's grave!

[vicomaco]

Ahoy reader, I'm here to vent. My second favorite season is coming, outside the window the sky is showering washing away the sweltering warmth and it inspires me to do the same with my suffocating self, now in pre-mid life (33) and confuse on the direction, tired of all those coats I've put on my shoulders without consent of a self now lost inside the textile. I just spent 2 or more hours of a working day cleaning my tumblr page, I made all of my past drawings private. Doing so I retraced the 10 or more years spent in this platform through different life phases and artistic epiphanies. I realized how much I forgot of myself, especially the joy I had drawing my pictures in my sparetime. Since I remember I have always had a sketchbook and a trousse of pens and pencils on me, everywhere. During elementary, college, high schools, I remember long train trips filling pages with doodles and thoughts. I stopped filling sketchbooks around eight years ago, close to my diploma, I had countless short deadlines, many white nights and a lot of stress. But I still had school assignements and side projects with friends both done in traditional techniques. No more traditional drawing for me, but still drawing for side fun projects. The school trained me to be an illustrator, more than a comic artist. To experiment and test different tools, my favorite still are inks and gouaches. Life after school became all about comics. And comics, at the - fucking long- beginning of your carreer are 90% ridiculously poor payed. The reasonable choice I took to balance that with the time spent on each page was to learn to actually make them on photoshop, safer if you have to erase, remove pages, redo faces. I didn't have much spare time, but when I had I used it experimenting brushes and learning a bit better the programs while making doodles for myself. No, actually a big changement happened: social networks. Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram and all. Part of me was doing them for myself and in order to evolve the technique, part of me was doing them to display them online. The quest for the "likes" serotonin-dispenser just started.

Now, in bigger comic projects, with bigger life events, and less daily energy I have no spare time, I'm full into professional work. Written by someone else, I'm full time into someone else's world. Comics are already life-sucking, but a life-sucking project when it's not even yours it sucks even the ground under your feet. Now I watch, I don't see, I execute, I'm unable to observe anymore. So I don't post on socials anymore, I'm being consumed by them while consuming time, brainless, zombiengly lurking memes and other distractions from the void this job created in me. I don't remember what I like, what I want to draw, what I would write on a sketchbook and god how I miss traditional techniques, I miss having my own ideas, my personal vertical projects and my personal horizontal purpose, I miss the joy behind my work, I don't remember myself. I've never been consistent, nor obsessed too much on something. I've always be in love with the act of drawing, the state of mind you have while doing it, the beautiful line, the beautiful palette. Every subject could be nicely done. I deeply respect artists with the same style, experimenting inside their comfort zone, obsessed with a subject and pursuing it year after year after year. They are coherent, awhile ago they chose one only coat and they decide to wear only that, and year after year it fits them always better. I myself I'm much better than before in terms of style, composition, lines, narration. The appearence of my style is much more solid, the inside is void. My old drawings in this blog were impressive, they could tell the joy I had experimenting. The oldest ones, the traditional ones, were the happiest. My technical traditional skills were better than my actual digital ones and the soul behind each sketch was so alive! I removed the old drawings from my blog not because I'm ashamed by them. But because I had a pity looking at this decline over and over, I wanted a -maybe?- fresh start. Fall always offers me new resolutions and will for changes, now I'm imploding, I'm sick of memes, I'm sick of stupidities, I'm sick of my poor time management. I want to come back in tumblr because it was, to my remindings, the healthier of the social networks, the less silly (at least my dashboard), the more balanced in aesthetic and content. I want to try to let it help me venting or finding myself again, I guess. Are you experiencing my same sickness of the pointless time-sucking web?

[bil-daddy]

hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

[patriamrealm]

Actually I have more thoughts considering what you @immortalwithoutaname said that I just couldn't fit in a responce so I'm doing it here. In regards to my last post - https://www.tumblr.com/patriamrealm/737610093240139776/so-ive-been-playing-the-update-for-pokemon?source=share

So you make very good points! Though I'm not entirely sure they'd be the most viable for the hisuian variants to be extinct extinct rather than just functionally extinct.

With cloning and fossil restoration, cloning has shown to not be the most feasible thing in the pokemon world, when it was done things went wrong and people didn't get the results they fully desired or they tampered to much, IE Mewtwo. Unless there is new information that I am lacking it cloning seems to very much be in it's infancy that few if any are willing to try.

Fossil restoration on the other hand, in one way it takes around 10,000 years for something to become fossilized and the events of legends arceus take place 300 ish years ago. That and every time it's done it results in pokemon winding up with a rock typing that they may or may not have had when their species was fully around.

Every single restored pokemon from fossils has been given a rock typing, EXCEPT in Galar with those poor pokemon put together wrong. But that is likely due to the botched restoration being done. When done correctly the pokemon wind up with a rock typing. We don't see that in the hisuian pokemon in the present. Basculigion is still ghost/water ect. Making fossil restoration unlikely as well.

NOW AS FOR DISTORTIONS! That is also a very good point but I also have a theory about how those function timeline wise. Distortions seem to be able to pop up any-when and anywhere. The any-when being most key to this theory.

I believe that distortions came and went in a bit of a wave starting slow and very infrequent about ohh let's go with 20 years before the rift above Mt. Coronet even opened up. Easy to simply not see especially if they were small and very unstable. Then they pick up a bit before the rift opens, people start to notice, it's like a warning.

Then BOOM! The rift opens and you get distortions showing up near daily, sometimes more than once a day for 2 ish years. After the events of the game happen they start to slowly become more infrequent till they are near unnoticeable again within 20ish years.

Now why are there red distortion dashes close to present and far past on the timeline? That's because distortions go two ways! So Lets say the distortion on the far left is connected to one of the ones within the rift being open. It's more stable and big but it's a single one that lasts only a few minutes and frankly if anyone did see it they would likely not be sure it was real. And the one closer to the present is the same deal only let's say the one it is connected to is one of the very early distortions before the rift. Small and unstable. Easy to not see happen.

Now the any-when and anywhere really come into play here. A distortion could show up well over a million years ago in far off Kanto and that one is connected back to one of the distortions from after the rift is closed. Next one seen could be Paldea 5,000 years ago.

For everywhere else and every other time period distortions would be extremely rare, some small and unstable others big and last minutes. The likelihood of even seeing one in a world with so much wilderness as the pokemon world would be a near nonexistent fraction of a percent.

Pokemon showing up in the distortions often wind up vanishing. Most people would not risk going in one if they did see it. And the chances of a distortion leaving behind even a single breeding pair that people of present day could use to try and bring back a species is even less likely than seeing a rift.

In the end, it is more feasible and likely that the hisuian pokemon, even in their decline were cared for by the native clans to Hisui/Sinnoh and there are likely conservation efforts to bring them back to the wild while currently they are functionally extinct but never were fully wiped off the planet.

[booksandabeer]

Catching up

I got tagged approximately one million years ago by @burberrycanary 💙 and @somanywords 💛. Sorry it took me so long! 😬

Last song: I don't know the exact song, but I've been listening to the album Cat Power Sings Dylan: The 1966 Royal Albert Hall Concert a lot. I'm not a particuarly big fan of Bob Dylan, or a fan at all, really. However, I am absolutely a die-hard fan of Cat Power and I think that Chan Marshall is probably the best cover artist of...all time? Well, certainly of her generation. That's not to shade her original compositions, which I also love, but she's brilliant at taking songs that you thought you could no longer listen to because they've been played ad nauseam everywhere for decades, and then teasing something fresh and original and truly moving out of them. Listen to her covers of "I'll Be Seeing You" or "Mr. Tambourine Man" or even "New York, New York" and tell me they don't excite you in any way (if they don't, I suspect you have no soul). She's even great at covering herself! Please go and listen to her 2008 cover of her own 1998 song "Metal Heart" right now. It's one of my all-time faves and also, yes absolutely a Stucky song.

Relationship status: I have a person.

Sweet/spicy/savory: Everything all at once, please.

Favorite color: Blue, blue, blue. International Klein Blue to be precise. I cannot get enough of it. Also, I will die on the hill that chartreuse is actually a great color.

Last movie: The Last Stop in Yuma County which was a fun neo-western/crime thriller that didn't take itself too seriously and didn't outstay its welcome. Imagine that! A 90-minute movie. They still make those! Wild. If you like Tarantino and/or the Coen Brothers, but played at a faster, snappier tempo, you will probably enjoy this one too.

Last show: So many. Bodkin, which is the epitome of "this show doesn't know what it wants to be." Is it a quirky comedy? A crime show? A (very tepid) satire? It's not like you can't combine these genres, but the show doesn't combine them, it swings wildly between them. The ending was terrible. I've finally started watching Hacks (a delight!) and I'm still slowly making my way through Kings (only 2 episodes left). Also following along with the new season of IWTV, which remains an absolutely bonkers show. If *this* is what made it into the final cut, can you imagine what didn't? Oh, to be allowed to read the studio notes for this one!

Last thing I googled: The origin and meaning of a Norse/Russian name. For reasons.

Current obsession: The Terror brainrot is still going stong. I have learned so much about Arctic Exploration in the 1800s over the past few weeks. Also, in a curious turn of events, I have started reading Masters of the Air fanfic? I was unfortunately pretty disappointed with the show. I had hoped it would trigger a level-11 hyperfixation but instead it just kinda came and went and I didn't even think about it anymore. Then an author, who I still follow because they used to write Stucky, started posting one Buck/Bucky (yes, they are two different characters) fic after another, and one day I said, 'Why not give it a shot?' Well, here we are, tens of thousands of words later, and for the first time in my life I'm beginning to understand the people whose general fandom attitude is 'I don't care for the source material at all, but the fic! Oh the fic compels me!' I have been compelled. I'm now a person who reads fanfiction for a pairing that includes a character played by Austin Butler (sorry Butler heads, I just don't get it).

Wonders never cease.

--

Like I said, I got tagged for this ages ago, so I don't know who's done this (recently). I'm gently tagging @bromcommie, @aimmyarrowshigh, @zenaidamacrouras1, @shackleton2 and @hail-americas-ass. Also, I mean it when I say I want to know what everyone else is watching/eating/obsessing over/etc. Tell me! Open tag for everyone who wants to do this.

[trellia]

I think this post is a long time coming. But also, maybe 1 - someone has pointers to help and 2 - maybe someone else is struggling similarly and would like to know said pointers too.

I have been quite the recluse the past few months. From everyone, really. Why that is why I’m making this post. If you feel like I’ve been drawing away, you’re not wrong. I have. I’ve not been doing too good since… I’d say October. A lot of events have turned my world around for one, realizing what I am living in and not what I thought I was living in. That was something on its own…. At the same time, I was going through the steps to figure out if I have ADHD. I found out a couple months ago that yes, indeed, I do have ADHD.

The diagnosis was first a relief: finally, I now know there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just wired different. However, relief soon turned into contempt. I became very, very angry. I am very angry. I just reached my 40’s. For at least 35+ years, I’ve been degraded and hurt by the people who should have protected me, understood me, especially in my childhood. Teachers, principals and parents of other children took part in this bullying campaign their children had going, only because I wasn’t following the ‘norms’. I endured trauma so great that I can barely function today.

I mean, I look at the videos of my childhood and I see it immediately: I’m not like the other kids. I’m more hyper, excited, and I just want everyone to take part in the fun, but I’m too much for it. It’s right there. I was called names by adults, and scolded for not doing things the way neurotypical people would. I was called lazy. I was told I don’t care for anyone but myself when, in fact, I have always put everyone ahead of me because I would rather see them happy than be happy myself. So you can imagine how difficult it was to hear that I am selfish and don’t care for anyone else…

I’m also angry at the current people in my life. Some of which have told me to ‘fix’ myself because I was an inconvenience they didn’t want to deal with. So I tried EVERY way to do so, and of course that didn’t work because I was trying to put bandaids on symptoms rather than help with what was the actual problem, but then when I asked for help, I was shunned away like I didn’t deserve it. I lost an entire decade (my late 20’s and my 30’s) asking myself what the hell is wrong with me, why am I such a terrible person, and why can’t I do anything right, and spending my 30’s walking on eggshells everywhere AND in the rpc because I was connection deprived and needed everyone to love me, which led to nefarious people taking advantage and hurt me further. (that’s a post for another day.)

Now here’s the main problem: I’m so angry I want to hurt someone. Not physically, but in every other way. It doesn’t matter who you are, I just want to lash out, whoever you are, friend or otherwise. An example: a friend made a new original character that is actually perfectly fine and pretty good, it’s a great OC! — but inside all I want to do is destroy that break their love for the OC and ruin it for them. Just… because. And that’s NOT okay. The good news is that I see it, I realize it. Which is why I have isolated myself. None of my friends deserve this. But I am angry. I am enraged, because I feel I’ve lost most of my life ‘fixing’ myself until I masked so hard I didn’t even realize until it slipped at 28. I know exactly when it slipped too.

Also, considering the kind of world we live in, I feel like I’ve lived past the mid-mark of my life. I’m not sure I’ll live up to 50 at this point. And it’s not fair. It’s not fair at all that I had to go through all this and still suffer. So yes, I’m very angry. But I also don’t WANT to hurt anyone. Especially not the people I care for… This is why I have not been on disco.rd. I have removed FB (because I wanted to for a long time tho lol ), tiktok… And have mostly removed myself from public spaces.

If you have pointers or ideas on how to get past that anger, please, please share. I don’t really know what to do with it. I don’t know how to tame it. And it scares me tbh. I don’t want to be like this. This isn’t me… but it’s so hard not to be angry…

So… yah: if I don’t respond on disco or otherwise, or not right away, it’s not you, I’m the one stepping away so I won’t say something I really don’t mean just for the sake of harming someone because I can’t accept what has been done to me.

If you read this far, thank you. Otherwise, here’s the jinx of it:

tldr; I was officially diagnosed with ADHD and realized I’ve been treated terribly by my peers because of it and shunned away when I asked for help, so now I’m extremely angry at everything and want to hurt someone (anyone) though I don’t really want to. How do I get over this?