#and i forgot to post it here because i barely use tumblr Oops

[mewteoroid]

happy 15th anniversary to my favorite vocaloid group 🎉

[granolabird]

I realized I never posted my Peter x Reader fic on here so I thought I might as well do it even though everyone and their grandma has probably already read it on Ao3 oops.

(Also idk how to do all this fanfic fancy tumblr formatting stuff I apologize I'm an old woman)

Late Nights With Peter

Notes: I wrote this at 1AM during a mental breakdown a few weeks back :) University is a bitch.

It’s late, and I’m half asleep. The tv drones on, displaying some horror movie I can’t recognise past sleep-bleary eyes. Beside me sits Peter, my head resting lightly on his side as I slowly pass out. He doesn’t notice, or if he does, he doesn’t seem to care, only focused on watching the movie and seeing how many marshmallows he can fit in his mouth at once. From what I can tell, it’s at least ten. I adjust myself slightly, snuggling closer to him, and he looks over eyes wide. “Hey, are you still awake?” He speed-chews the marshmallows before he asks, giving me a small nudge. “Barely.” I huff and he gives a small chuckle. “You need me to run you upstairs?” He offers and I shake my head as well as I can from the position I’m in, curled up on the couch. “I’m too comfy. You make a good pillow.” He smiles and presses a soft kiss to the top of my head. “As much as I appreciate the compliment, I think it’s time we get you to bed. I don’t know how long I could stay still, even as your honorary pillow.” He reaches over and presses a button on the converter to turn the tv off, before scooping me up, bridal-style. “Fiiine.” I lament knowing it’s too late to try and stay on the couch, seeing as I’m already in his arms. He grins, before running us up to the bedroom and placing me swiftly under the covers, then following suit.

He snuggles close to me, laying one arm over my side as I press into his warm chest. “How did I get so lucky to find someone like you?” I ask, my words muffled in his baggy sleep-shirt. “I could say the same about you.” He sighs, running a hand through my hair. We’re quiet for a moment, but he doesn’t stop moving his hand through my hair slowly. “Hey, I know it’s late but can… can I ask you something?” His words are uncharacteristically quiet and I look up from his chest, searching his face to figure out what he’s thinking. Peter is notorious for late-night pondering of the worst kind. After everything he’s been through, I can’t blame him. “Anything.” I offer in response, but he doesn’t smile this time, he just keeps petting my head lightly. “This is kind of weird, but do you think the guys back at the school care about me?” He questions, and I lift my head to meet his eyes. “What?” I shake my head, a little confused and still sleepy, and he takes a moment to ponder. “It’s just that, I go on all these missions, I do all this work to help them, and they just… keep going. They don’t thank me, they don’t pay me any mind, and then they go off for drinks after the mission and half the time they don’t even ask me to join them. I’m just a comic relief to them, I think. What if they leave me? My dad left me, Logan left all of us, I’ve never had anyone stay as long as you have really, so who’s to say you won’t leave too? Shit, I don’t know, maybe I just need to go to sleep.” His anxiety seems to grow with every word he says, and his eyes are staring off into somewhere far away. His hand has stopped moving across my hair now and it falls softly onto the bed.

“Peter.” I say, lifting a hand to his cheek to snap him out of his daze. “I do think you need to go to sleep, your mind goes much too fast.” I huff out, before continuing. “But they care about you, I can promise you that. Scott told me the other day that you’re one of his best friends. Did you know that?” I offer, and Peter tips his head slightly, leaning into my hand. “He did?” “Yeah, he did. And you know why they don’t invite you to drink with them. You can’t-” “Get drunk.” He finishes my sentence for me, a gleam shining in his eyes. “But it was pretty funny when I got the video of Kurt drunk off his ass, wailing ABBA on karaoke night.” His sense of humor is returning, and I grin up at him. “He’s never going to forgive you for that one.” I chuckle, moving my hand from his cheek so that it can grip his free hand. He chuckles too, and I feel warmth light up my chest. “And Peter, you know I’d never leave you.” “I know.” He responds almost immediately, pressing his face into the top of my head. “I know, I just get worried sometimes. I’ve lost so many people. Been through so much shit that it just...” He trails off, his words muffled against my hair. “The others on the team care about you Peter, everyone does. You’re basically a son to Charles, and your dad? Who gives two shits about him, the dickhead is a mass murderer. He doesn’t deserve you.” I tell him, and he lifts his face to look at me again.

“Hey! That's my father you’re talking about!” He exclaims quietly, but the light in his eyes tells me he’s joking. “He may be your father, but he’s still an asshole. The only good thing he’s ever done is bring you into this world.” I say sternly. “I don’t know, that time he killed the president was pretty awesome.” He offers, and I force myself to put on the most fed-up face my exhausted brain can create. He laughs fully now, and I feel his chest rumbling as he goes. “Why are you laughing.” I huff, trying my best to sound annoyed despite the smile pressing at my lips. “Because you look so damn cute when you try to look mad at me.” He whispers, and I sigh letting my smile come through and shaking my head. “You’re such a ladies man.” I say mockingly, and he grins at me. “I know, right?” Peter lets another chuckle escape him, before he leans himself down to kiss me. It’s not intense but rather light, soft and subtle, as he uses the one arm he has thrown around me to somehow pull me even closer. I lean into him, and we rest against each other's lips for a long while, just enjoying the presence of one another.

I feel him smiling against my mouth, before he pulls back and looks over me, eyes tracing my face. “I love you.” He says, and I laugh and bury my head in his shirt again. It smells like marshmallows and faint cologne that reminds me of an autumn breeze. It reminds me of home. Peter, my love, my sweet, my everything. You are my home. I don’t voice any of this though, and instead opt for “You smell like marshmallows.” He responds by half-heartedly kicking me under the blanket. “Wow, thanks. I feel so loved right now.” He grumbles, and I look back up to him. “I love you too you big goof. I’d probably love you a lot more if you just let me sleep.” I tell him, and he sighs, letting his head flop on his pillow. “Right sorry, I forgot you’re little miss sleeping beauty. Remind me to wake you up in the morning with a kiss?” He jokes, and I press my face back against his chest. “I know you won’t need the reminder.” I tell him as I settle myself into a comfortable position to sleep in. “You’re right.” He mumbles, and I can tell he’s getting tired too. He adjusts himself, his one arm still flung around me and trying, to no avail, to bring me even closer. Then, Peter settles my head in the crook of his neck, and sighs, clearly feeling comfortable. “Goodnight.” He says, and I smile into his chest. “Goodnight Peter, I’ll see you in the morning.” I tell him, before fading into the lull of sleep. I’m not sure what I dream about, but somewhere running through my dreams I know there is a handsome silver-haired man, who owns my heart, and I know I am loved.

[a-libra-writes]

ok so .... imagine comforting tywin through a nightmare and his chest is heaving and his eyes are almost wild ???? and tywin is so panicked because he’s been dreaming about joanna, which he tries so hard to repress ??? and you’re THERE and rubbing his back and kissing his cheek and being so tender that tywin can’t help but seek comfort ??? (also i might have sent this already, tumblr is so messed up oops)

Haha you had sent this friendo, ive just barely been on tumblr bc im so tired and overworked. havent even checked up on my mutual’s posts which is agh!! i need to set aside a day to dig through my fav blogs. (also peeps are always free to DM me if they wanna chat ahaha i can respond to that a tad better ✌🏽)

sooooo can I just say that this may be the first time wifey has seen Tywin like that? She wakes up to his jolting upright, then the sound of his heavy breathing, and it’s a sort of sleepy haze before sudden alertness - because seven hells, what’s wrong? Is he sick? Did something happen? Her body is still heavy from sleep, but she moves closer to him, touching his back and his arms. Her body and brain are trying to catch up with each other, and it’s dark, so she can’t see him. She has to feel the way his heart is jumping under her palm, and she can feel a slight clamminess to his skin. What is going on?

She’d reach for his face, and find it, cradling his cheek in her hand, and he’d flinch like she hurt him. Tywin’s constant work schedule and driven mind meant he rarely slept well. Honestly, he hadn’t really slept deeply until he began to become close with his second wife, not that he ever realized the change in sleep habits, only felt them. 

Then there was the dreams - he also didn’t notice that he’d begun to have them, after years of restless nothingness. They were nothing to be remembered, nothing important, but some instilled a strong longing. A longing for someone who was right beside him, warm and soft, right there if he reached out, but he still dreamed of her. Only traces of the dreams remained, so some mornings Tywin would wake up particularly clingy... Not that he’d call it that, but you weren’t complaining about the affection and attentiveness.

The problem was, he hadn’t dreamed like this in years. He forgot he could. And with dreams came nightmares, and this particular one carried the memory of the woman who used to be in that bed, a long time ago. He never saw her on her deathbed, but his traitorous mind imagined it.

And that night, it was there, inescapable. Blonde hair spread over a pillow, a face twisted in pain, pale skin turned sickly and covered in sweat. Blood everywhere, and that was the worst of it. She looked like she was lying in a blanket of Lannister crimson, but it was a featherbed stained with her life. The child that caused her death was never there, nor was anyone. For all the blame and hate Tywin hoisted on his youngest child, Tyrion was nowhere to be seen. Joanna may as well have been bleeding out from anything, but no matter what, he was powerless.

Powerless. A Lannister left with nothing but to watch, until Tywin finally willed himself awake, or some distant noise caused it - who could tell? Now he was struggling to focus his gaze, and there were hands on him, and a quiet voice asking questions. “What happened, love? Are you well?”

He took her hands in his, not realizing how unsteady his own were, and held her with so much force it almost hurt. But she didn’t cry out, she only moved closer, her body resting against his. Her head found his shoulder, and he felt her hair brush against his cheek. Dark as it was, he could picture exactly what she’d look like if he glanced in her direction. The concern in her eyes, the frown on her lips.

“Tywin,” She said, his own name an anchor. Now the room was looking familiar, and there was no longer the smell of copper, sweat and death lingering in a humid room. His breathing steadied, and she correctly guessed he was beginning to calm, so she didn’t say any more. She waited until his grip loosened, and his heart was no longer trembling like a rabbit in a trap.

Eventually, they ended up in each other’s arms, lying back down. The sheet was more or less forgotten, and she nestled into his chest. She would have preferred to talk more, to comfort him, but it seems this is where he wanted her - gently running his hand down her back and keeping her close, even when it becomes too warm and she wonders if his arm is getting sore. Her very presence is an anchor, a safe and solid place, far from old memories and frightening dreams - things that Tywin does not consider concrete anymore. Yes, he’s repressing his feelings and memories, but what’s new? With her in his arms, he can affirm what he’s always told himself: It’s in the past. Move on. Look to what’s here now.

Naturally, she might want to have a discussion in the morning. He’ll be visibly tired, more quiet than she’s used to, perhaps less patient with the guards and court. It’s little changes she notices, so she stays close, giving affection when it’s appropriate. Perhaps lingering with her kisses and touches, and she can sense he appreciates it, even if she knows he’ll want to move on as if nothing happened.

[kuiinncedes]

PROMPT LIST? cheerio!tina & skank!quinn, angst #37, quinntina ofc

yes prompt list!! sorry this took so long, thanks sm for prompting sim <33

some pre-notes: first that wow this got long again 😂 2398 words (before probably some edits in the tumblr post editor) *oops i did it again*

1 2 3 these are my other three (very short) “installments” for this “verse” i guess 🤪 i wouldn’t say it’s required to read them tho i think everything is pretty understandable 🥰

this also got a little anti rachel lol 🥴 and anti schue but like yeah and i think that’s it 😗

Angst 37: “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

--

Glee club has been going well… all things considered.

Including the fact that Quinn’s crush on Tina only grows, that Rachel Berry still doesn’t seem to warm up to her and Kurt’s presence in the choir room, that the teacher really kind of sucks and apparently only Kurt and Quinn see it, that most of the other members are still wary around them - around Quinn.

But not Tina. Tina, who’s one of the most popular girls in school, not actually head of the Cheerios but probably the most well-liked, and there’s a reason. Tina is the first to welcome her and Kurt to the glee club after their audition, the first to make an effort to befriend them. She talks to Kurt about fashion, and Kurt is hesitant to bring down his facade but Quinn can tell how much he loves it, how much he’s missed talking about something that brings him so much joy. Even with his temporary and purposely limited wardrobe situation, he’s talked Quinn’s ear off about the things he wants to do and wear in New York City; she doesn’t understand much of it so she’s glad Tina does.

And she talks to Quinn. Tina actually talks to Quinn like… like she’s a person, just another student at this school, not Quinn Fabray, half of the most cold and closed-off duo that walks the halls, ex-most popular girl in school, Quinn Fabray with an unspeakable history, unspeakable in that Quinn will have consequences for those who speak about it. 

It’s dramatic, she knows. But it’s part of her untouchable image at this piece of shit school with its horrible students. 

Not Tina. Tina’s not horrible.

(Get a grip, Fabray.)

It feels like she and Kurt are on the edge of a precipice with glee club. Tina likes them, Blaine is nice enough to them (Kurt seems to like him, too), Rachel isn’t very welcoming, everyone else mostly ignores them. (Which is fine - preferable, really.)

They sway in the back, they sing, they do their part. And Quinn has missed singing, so it’s not all bad, she supposes.

But Quinn can feel the tension, the others’ hesitation whenever she and Kurt walk in to sit in the back, their unspoken thoughts, loud in their silence, their barely hidden glances.

She feels like she’ll tumble from the edge with one push.

One day, Tina sits beside Quinn and she can’t stop her jump of surprise. Tina just shoots her a small smile and moves her chair a bit further away, but Quinn finds herself wishing she would scoot the other way instead.

Tina keeps sitting by Quinn, and Quinn has no idea why.

She ignores the way her heart speeds up a little every time she makes eye contact with Tina, the way Kurt smirks knowingly at her but then returns to staring at the back of Blaine Anderson’s head, the way she can’t stop letting her eyes wander over to Tina every time Mr. Schuester starts talking about something she has no interest in (which she admits is very often).

Kurt had said glee would give her the chance to talk to Tina. And he was right - she’s made conversation with Tina multiple times (mostly initiated by Tina, though), and she would say they’re friends. Tina has said they’re friends and she definitely didn’t freak out to Kurt about it.

Kurt she called me her friend holy shit -

Inside voice, honey. Your gay is showing.

Shut - we’re literally outside. Let’s talk about you and Blaine.

Nope, fuck you, walking away now.

Kurt - wait! She - but she called me her friend - Kurt -

Besides Kurt, Tina is probably the person she’s closest with. Which still doesn’t say much - she’s not close to anyone besides Kurt…

But she wants to be, she thinks as she watches Tina perform an upbeat solo, a song she doesn’t recognize, but she watches her - how alive she looks, how good she sounds. It’s not like Quinn hasn’t heard her sing in the months since she’s joined, but if she had it her way, Tina would be the only one singing in this entire group. (She would insist on highlighting others, though, so Quinn adds herself and Kurt to that list. Not that they would ever get a solo.)

“All right, guys,” Mr. Schuester says. Kurt nudges Quinn with his elbow to get her to pay attention, and she shoots him a half-hearted glare. 

“So that was everyone who signed up to audition for a solo at regionals,” he continues. “I’ll let you know who we’re featuring by tomorrow. So I’ll see you then!”

“Who do you think is gonna get it?” Kurt asks as they leave, walking out to the parking lot. 

“Um…” 

“Right, I forgot, you’re too busy staring at Tina to know what’s going on in glee.”

Quinn scoffs. “I know what’s going on in glee.”

Kurt gives her a questioning look.

“I do! Sure, I didn’t know about the auditions, but I know Rachel’s probably getting the solo, even though it should go to Tina.”

“Anyone could tell you that.”

Quinn shoves Kurt lightly, a smile spreading across her face as they get into his car. Quinn’s been spending more time at Kurt’s lately - Quinn’s parents don’t give a fuck about her - they did the bare minimum allowing her to stay when she was pregnant and they’ve used up all their good parenting cards, it seems. She’s infinitely grateful for Burt Hummel, because if the kids and some of the teachers at school are going to treat her and Kurt like shit, at least there’s someone in their corner.

-

Completely unsurprisingly, Mr. Schuester announces Rachel as the soloist for regionals the next day, after years of the same thing, from what Quinn has heard.

Surprisingly, Tina isn’t in the room. Although, Quinn thinks, she wouldn’t be either if she knew what the outcome was going to be. And everyone knew what the outcome was going to be.

But Mercedes pushes back against his decision anyway, Santana complains, Blaine and Brittany try to placate, Kurt watches Blaine, Rachel jabbers about her destiny as the New Directions soloist or something, Quinn sits and wonders about the empty chair next to her. (She also wonders what would be the easiest way to get Rachel to shut the fuck up.)

She’s not paying attention, letting everyone’s arguing fade into the background. She barely registers Rachel saying shrilly, “We’re supposed to be a family!”

“Not much of a family when you’re the only one who can have anything good!” Mercedes snaps.

“I bet you wouldn’t react like this if Kurt or Quinn got the solo! Like they would even deserve it! At least I belong here, they don’t even - ”

“Would you shut - ” Mercedes starts at the same time Santana yells back, “Quinn doesn’t need a family, she’s a mother!”

And she knows - Quinn knows - that Santana just does this, she says shit and hurts people and this is just that and it’s whatever but -

Suddenly Quinn is in sophomore year again, hearing the taunts of her classmates behind her back and to her face. Suddenly she’s in sophomore year again, somehow invisible in the halls but also the only person anyone was looking at, pointing at, laughing at. She’s in sophomore year again and teachers do nothing to help her, no one but Kurt bothers to notice anything but the fact that she’s pregnant. And they laugh, and they taunt, and they stare.

She’s a mother. 

There it is. There’s the edge of the cliff that she has been fighting for balance on in this stupid club for months. 

Like they would even deserve it.

They don’t belong here.

And Quinn’s falling.

“I need to go, meet you at your car,” she says roughly to Kurt, who it seems hasn’t been paying attention at all, more focused on committing to memory the details of Blaine Anderson from halfway across the room. Quinn storms out and the arguing continues behind her.

Quinn slams the door to the bathroom as she barges in and all at once, sees that Tina is here (Tina is here?), realizes that she herself is crying, trying not to make noise and she just throws her bag on the floor and sinks down against a wall, hands around her knees and head leaned back. It’s too fucking much.

“Quinn?” Tina asks gently, so gently and Quinn watches as Tina kneels down in front of her. “Are you okay?”

Quinn wipes at her face, laughing harshly. “Yeah. Fine.”

Tina looks at her, not moving but just watching her. Quinn thinks it must be uncomfortable for her to kneel on the bathroom floor in her Cheerios outfit. Quinn thinks that Tina shouldn’t care about her, she should just leave, save her knees from the cold tile.

She doesn’t leave. 

After a moment, Tina says, “Hey, so, you don’t have to tell me anything… but I’m here if you need to.”

Quinn’s not actively crying anymore, grey smudges on her fingers where her makeup was wiped off. Her face probably looks like a nightmare, but she’s too exhausted to care. She leans her head back again and fixes her gaze just above Tina’s head, at the ceiling, the harsh bathroom lights piercing her vision through the tears in her eyes.

“I just - ” I guess I’m talking, she thinks, “Santana said something dumb about me being a mother and that’s what I heard sneered at me every day for months and even now still… and I’m not…”

Quinn trails off, looking at Tina again who nods, encouraging her to continue. She swallows and averts her gaze again.

“…and Rachel said something dumb about Kurt and I not belonging and not deserving it but she’s Rachel and I don’t care about the shit she says - I usually don’t. But her saying that - ” she scoffs. “Newsflash, Rachel, we don’t fucking belong anywhere.”

That was painfully made obvious sophomore year, with Quinn’s exit from the Cheerios, from popularity. It was obvious when no matter what, she couldn’t get it back, any of it. It was obvious when she and Kurt were the only ones to really notice each other and help each other. It was obvious when the only choice they had, the one they took, was becoming this and isolating themselves. It was obvious when the only chance they had was each other.

As if she needs someone else to tell her that, to rub it in.

It’s been building up, she realizes, this feeling, the hatred, the estrangement and isolation. She wonders if Kurt feels the same, how close he is to the edge, or if he’s even on a precipice like she is at all.

Quinn’s falling, she doesn’t know when or how it will end and she just wants -

“Lie to me,” she says to Tina, teeth clenched and voice tired. “I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

Falling, falling, falling - 

Quinn thinks bitterly that she should be used to it after her falls from popularity.

Tina takes her hands gently and squeezes them in reassurance. “I know this might just seem like words, and I’m not lying - you do belong. Both of you. You belong in glee club. You belong here.”

Quinn just swallows again, letting the words wash over her, and in the back of her mind, the part that’s not thinking about - everything, she marvels at the fact that Tina is holding her hands, and Tina’s skin is soft, and Tina’s words and actions feel genuine.

Falling… slowing.

Lie to me.

“We don’t belong. Everyone hates us,” Quinn mutters.

“I don’t,” Tina says, smiling a little. “I know we can be pretty difficult, the glee club, but we really don’t think that. Rachel might - if I’m being honest, I think she’s the one who doesn’t belong in glee club, for a multitude of reasons - but it really is supposed to be a safe, welcoming space. I’m really sorry we haven’t been able to do that for you.”

Quinn shrugs. “You have,” she admits softly. 

Tina looks like she doesn’t know what to say to that. Quinn pushes herself up against the wall, a little awkwardly, hands still intertwined with Tina’s, who squeezes again. “I’ll talk to her,” Tina says. “Rachel. I’ve been getting fed up with her shit, anyway. I’ve been needing to talk to her.”

“Okay,” is all Quinn can think to say, quietly uttered, her voice a little choked. “You don’t have to - ”

“No, I do,” Tina says. “And I want to. Mr. Schue lets her get away with way too much.”

Quinn huffs a laugh and Tina grins slightly, then withdraws her hands and pulls them through her ponytail, suddenly looking almost nervous. Quinn drops her hands in her lap and plays with her rings. Now that Quinn’s calmed down, her proximity-to-Tina-Cohen-Chang-induced nerves are back in full force. 

And maybe she isn’t falling anymore.

“Why weren’t you there today?” she asks after a moment.

Tina’s lips clench into a line. “Knew Rachel was getting the solo. I don’t know, I didn’t want to deal with that today, you know? Three years of the same shit, I’m just tired of it.”

Quinn hums in understanding. She can imagine.

“Are you okay? What do you say we… get out of here? Go somewhere?” Tina asks a little awkwardly, wincing slightly as she stands up and extends a hand for Quinn. She takes it and lets Tina pull her up.

“I’m actually… going home with Kurt, ” - but going somewhere with Tina - Kurt will understand - “actually, yeah, sure. I’ll let him know,” Quinn answers, not letting herself doubt the decision, pulling her phone from her pocket and quickly typing out a text and sending it to Kurt, who immediately responds.

omg did u actually talk and get a date with tina cohen chang

Quinn replies, fuck you, i’m leaving bye

are you okay?

yeah, fine i’ll talk to you later

ok have fun on your date ;)

yeah 🖕

Tina bounces a little and shoots her a smile when she puts her phone away. “Awesome. There’s this coffee shop that I think you’ll love - ”

“It’s not the Lima Bean, is it?”

Tina laughs. “Of course not. Barely anyone knows about this place, at least from school, so I really love it there.”

Tina grabs Quinn’s hand again and they head out of the school, Quinn ignoring how she can feel her pounding heartbeat against Tina’s skin. Hopefully Tina doesn’t notice.

*****

some notes for after 🤪

ok so i don’t really know why i used the “she’s a mother” line and idk if i’m just overthinking it but i’m not saying that scene was bad or anything ?? idk lol it was just on my mind i guess so i put it in slkdgfj (basically,, not related to the canon scene lol i just like adding canon lines 😗)

i think the point i was trying to make if any was that quinn doesn’t really have any family (in this au) so yeah it’s kind of a sensitive point

i did say this was very similar to my previous werewolf!quinn and vampire!tina fic but i’m okay with it now tbh,,, you know like it’s an alternate universe and they just help each other in all universes :’) yeah

i would love to continue this but i don’t have the best track record with that lol so we’ll see 😂

[evalieena]

35 Questions for Fanfiction Writers

well since dearest @bachint​ asked, here goes nothing!

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

well if no downplaying’s allowed i guess i’d give it a 3/5? some mistakes since i’m not a native plus i”m still working on getting my english style better! i like what i come up with all the same, i’ve improved a lot these past two years, and my grammar isn’t that bad i guess?

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to do what developers didn’t do in the first place to make good use of my imagination, to cope with the fact that some characters don’t exist and i will never follow another one of their adventures, to forget about a boring real life...

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

my writing doesn’t stand out lmaooo but i guess i’m always trying to focus on the character’s psychology, struggles and all that, so if someone likes my work, it’s ‘original’ bc it’s usually quite different from the usual stories where there are a lot of dialogues and interactions.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

i’ve been inspired a lot by @welcometogressenheller​ (i wish i could do as well as she does.....), @aceklaviergavin​ (kudos to you even if you never see that post and you probably don’t know who i am), and some others whose name i forgot (sorry!)

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

i didn’t write much but i guess that my latest fics are really nice (There’s No Light In You Anymore, and the whole Faith series on AO3). also my big project “Now That You’re Gone”, i’m glad i’ve been able to write that much for it and i intend on continuing as soon as i find the motivation!

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

pain, struggles and all that comes with it as long as it’s in the character’s mind, because beware here you step in a dark space

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

ordinary scenes of life? i always find my writing lacking as soon as i step out of my comfort zone, i’m all for rambling and never-ending pain

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

desmond/descole surely

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

all the good guys (and dimitri allen because i’d love writing about him but i’m? just unable to?)

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

that may come as a surprise! angst!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

a mix of question 8 and 10 and you’ve got your answer

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

professor layton and the shattering secrets!!! i’m so happy of what this AU will look like when i’ll be done writing the following chapters, at first it probably looks annoying but heck i wanna promise anyone who’s reading it that the plot twists are gonna be worth it even though the overall background isn’t that original because i’ve mixed up different elements from other games (aaaand we’re back in our oh-so-amazing comfort zone that covers up a massive lack of imagination)

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

ummm? the vampire diaries maybe? back when i was 10 or 11 lol

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

hands up... pROFESsoR LayTON

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

i didn’t write for many fandoms but back in my younger days i used to do self-insert fics with the vampire diaries cast and it was so odd and i wish i hadn’t just confessed that on my tumblr blog

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

nothing that comes to mind

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

dunno either

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

PL and the shattering secrets! huge canon divergence and one heck of an AU (also its original version is much worse, my mind was going crazy when i was 15)

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

i love reading AUs, writing some requires solid imagination which i have not, but honestly i don’t really mind

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

gen

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

desmond sycamore x his wife / randall ascot x hershel layton (be it romantic or platonic) / randall ascot x basically anyone from the MM i guess though i didn’t write anything about that yet (it’s about to change guys)

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

yea i can’t write without listening to music - any playlist does the trick as long as i like what i’m listening to but usually i listen to sad soundtracks, or i’m inspired by some random lyrics

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

i’d go with challenges bc my horrible ass has very few ideas but i usually come up with independent ideas

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

one shots!

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

i don’t remember ;_;

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

i’ve got one OS in mind with randall/layton but i don’t want to be the talk of the town because it’s probably going to be awful? also any other fic including the PL3 crew

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

@welcometogressenheller telling me she believed i was a native!!! i struggle so much trying to improve my writing style in english and i have a lot of insecurities so it was so heartwarming and incredible to read...

also basically any other comment where people tell me they like what i write. i love that writers feel the need to take some time reviewing my works bc i need constant validation

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

well i’ve never really received ‘harsh’ criticism or anything, save for some very rare remarks on my grammar so i guess i don’t know? at first it’s always sad to see that what i’ve done isn’t perfect but i guess it’s impossible to be perfect so i’m really happy that people take some time to underline what looks wrong to them

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

currently trying to with shattering secrets and it’s actually a great way to improve!

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

MERCILESS ANGST

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

i wish i could but it would perhaps be a huge spoiler so i don’t wanna say much about them...

i have 1) annabell sycamore, des’s wife, whose personality fits very much mine. she’s a playwright, spends lot of her time writing and acting in front of des AND WITH des. also she’s a very realistic person and some people usually tell her that she’s being too pessimistic 

2) aurelia from the shattering secrets and on her i really cannot say much... if anyone’s read this far it would be so nice if you could give SS a shot by the way!! 

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

desmond sometimes finds happiness but it’s always taken from him

(isn’t that a summary for everything i’ve ever written?)

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

i don’t translate my works from my original language to english, i write straight in english. i spend a lot of time making sure i haven’t done any grammatical mistakes, checking the definition and the use of some words i’m not sure about, and sometimes it’s quite a pain and it can be also very discouraging bc i end up believing what i write comes from a random internet dictionary while deep down i know it’s not true but hey what can i say. huge insecurities laid bare here.

(if any reader of mine’s reading this, i apologize)

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

(beware: spoilers for the whole prequel trilogy!!!)

“Hershel Layton was puzzled. A funny emotion to feel for someone who loved puzzles that much, but nothing could ever describe better the way he’d felt for hours now, hours that seemed like ages.So much did happen in the span of a few hours.

First he’d learned his parents could be targeted by Targent, then Aurora had made it clear that she didn’t want to live anymore, all so she could protect them. Then Desmond—no, Descole—had taken the key from her hands, and revealed himself as the dangerous scientist Layton knew him to be.

Then they’d fought. Despair was filling the air, though Hershel didn’t understand what Descole meant when he cried that the Azran legacy was all he had to live for.

And as if there hadn’t been enough betrayals as it was, Emmy was soon to follow. Luke had been abducted. He’d had no other choice than siding with Descole to prevent Bronev from unleashing doom on Earth. Misery didn’t seem to end.

Just when he’d thought he’d finally be able to change things, Descole had been ready to sacrifice himself to save Luke. And then…

Then everything just collapsed.

He held his agonizing brother in his arms; the one who’d wanted so hard to take him down only a few hours back was now confessing, fearing death was on the way.“

[...]

from ‘Six Times Hershel Layton Remembered, Plus The One Time He Didn’t’

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

oops i haven’t got anything more to say but thank you for reading? perhaps?

[siriusly-parker]

𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 - 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐

never forget - part 1 i’ll do this later sorry

Pairing: James Potter x reader

Fandom: Harry Potter - Marauders Era

Words: about 850 (this is a short one sorry)

Warnings: Cursing, and more bad writing, lots of dialogue cause i’m a hoe for dialogue which i’m trying to beat and it also makes it faster to read so oops sorry the next parts are gonna be better and i know i said that last time but dude life is hard and i’m craving nachos

A/n: ok. sorry for taking so long to write the second part and for it to be so short. even though my writing is really really bad and i’m not exactly proud of this i’m honestly trying my best (which in my opinion is still not enough). i’ve been doing my research on writing and been planning the story (so if the writing is bad at least the plot is entertaining). aaaaalso the story is kinda taking a turn... and i don’t hate it. but i kinda hate myself for it. but it’s fine. kinda. ok. thank you so much for understanding and keeping up with the series. the next parts should be coming out soon. i love you.

Days passed and she didn't understand how he could not understand. He was her best friend. How had that changed? When had that changed? Why had that changed? How could it simply change? Why couldn't things stay the way they were? Too many questions and they all made her head hurt. They all made her heart ache. And it was all because of the same person that used to make her smile a week ago and promised to never hurt her years before that. But they grew up, things changed, and he broke his promise. 

At first, he didn’t even notice that she was ignoring him. Which made it all that much worse. He spent so much time with Lilly that he completely forgot about his other friends. Sirius missed his best friend and went to complain to her for the third time that day.

“Yyyyyy/nnnnnn….”

“Oh merlin, what again?”

“I’m boooooored…”

“Okay. And?”

“Do something about it.”

“I’m not your babysitter Padfoot. Doesn’t Rem-”

“Tutoring.”

“Well, Pet-”

“The one getting tutored.”

“Weeeeeell, then it’s a perfect occasion for you to study as well. Bye.”

“PLEEEEEEEEAAAASE!!!”

“SSshhhh…” 

They both turned to the angry little lady who hushed them. The library was definitely not the right place to do this. So she packed her things and dragged Sirius out of there by his Griffindor tie.

“Ok. Let’s do this.” Y/n said.

“Wow. Don’t say that.”

“Say what?”

“Let’s do this. It’s cringe in real life.”

The school year had only begun, but autumn was already letting winter take its place. The weather, too cold to make a pile of leaves and jump into it, but not cold enough for snow, made going outside, not the best option. So they opted for the only thing that came to mind and the thing they were best at: Pranks.

The first prank was for Remus and Peter since they basically rejected Sirius out of their study session. Chocolate. Chocolate is all of what the prank consisted of. Well… Special, kinda magical, chocolate. Chocolate that makes you only say the truth? Maybe. Kinda. Yes. That’s exactly what it was.

“Mooooooonnyyyyyy…”

“Oh no.”

“Why does everyone react so disappointed?”

“I think it’s just your way of approaching people. Not you. As a… great… human being…?” Y/n tries to reassure her confused friend. And pretty much failing, with her just as much confusing and confused words.

“Well thank you, my dear. We came here REMUS, to actually give you a gift. But you’re a bitch. So no. And we hate you”

“Aaah...Aaactualy, no. We don’t, we still love yo-”

“Even though you’re a bitch.”

“Yes…Uhh... We have chocolate for you. My parents sent some to me and I thought you’d needed them more. Plus, I know they help you study.” Y/n says, the most convincingly possible.

“YEAH! SINCE YOU’RE STUDYING. RIGHT NOW. WITHOUT ME.” 

“Ok Sirius.” She adds while ruffling his hair which his dog side (and even his human side) enjoyed.

“Oh. Well, thank you, guys. That’s very thoughtful of you. Normally I’d say this is weird and probably a prank but in case it isn’t, I don’t want to make Padfoot anymore mad. For… no… apparent reaso-”

“OH. SO MISSING MY BEST FRIEND, ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH OF A REASON TO TAKE OUT MY ANGER ON OTHERS???”

“ᶤ ᵈᵒᶰ’ᵗ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᵗʰᶤᶰᵏ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ’ˢ ᵃ ��ᵒᵒᵈ ʳᵉᵃˢᵒᶰ ᶠᵒʳ ᶤᵗ ᵇᵘᵗ ᵒᵏ”

There was silence. Everyone understood that feeling. They all missed him. Y/n simply smiled at him. A sad smile. For that split second they understood each other’s pain. But a sudden cough made them break eye contact.

“Uuuhh… Can I get some of that chocolate too.”

“Of course Pete. I brought it for the too of you.” 

Y/n’s sweet smile made him blush. He’d never quite seen her like that. So...calm and kind? Not that she wasn’t kind, but she was more aggressive and rude. Not in a bad way, not “mean”, but more like she just had to be. She had to be like that to protect herself. As if to make her look strong. She just had that attitude that made it clear to everyone to not mess with her. The whole situation made her walls brake down. She had no protection and was completely bare. And that smile… It was forced… but it was so… so genuine?

“I think I’m just gonna go.” Said Sirius while already walking past the group of friends.

“I’m gonna go with him.”

Remus screamed “Uhh… Thanks for the chocolate!”, but they were already gone.

Y/n tried to follow her friend down the castle’s halls but lost him at the first turn he took. He simply disappeared. She kept walking, but suddenly stopped at a right turn. What she saw made her sick for some reason. It made her feel like she felt that same morning. It made her feel like when she sat beside Remus and James beside Lilly at breakfast. Hanging out with Sirius numbed the pain, but the view in front of her put the tears back where they were before.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

thank you so much for reading the second part of never forget! please comment what you liked and didn’t like, what you wish to happen in future parts, or any type of constructive criticism. i love to hear your feedbacks and support.

also! i decided to also post my writing on wattpad. i know. i’m sorry. but think about it. if you like my writing here, you’ll like it there. i don’t LIKE wattpad but i like the interface and how it’s made and how practical it it. I like how i can post messages for easier updates and you you can give better feedback. i’ll be posting on both. but i’m thinking in also writing original stuff (when i don’t suck as much, which may mean never) and tumblr is not the best place for that. wattpad is a platform MADE for writers and tumblr is simply not. i’ll of course be posting on both tumblr and wattpad. but if you want to keep up with this series and the ones that are coming, wattpad may be better. i’ll keep you posted on everything on here and on there as well. my username on wattpad is: @siriuslyparkr (parker without the e). tell me how you feel about this. also thank you for understanding and please don’t hate me. love you!

never forget on wattpad:

part 3 - coming soon!

taglist:

@hi-there-x @koreandrama-crazyyyy

@df841 @hanniejji @streetghostfighter07

@milouquinha @midnight-from-hell

@randomlyoblivious @littlebrownngirl

@emcchi @bellalikesboth @angelmarie823

@siriuslysirius1107 @wwhitewwolff @evyiione

@ateliefloresdaprimavera @marvelismylifffe

[the-last-airbadger]

My 2020

Hey y’all. So 2020 happened. That was a thing. Apparently. I know for a lot of people this year was uhm… pretty shit… but it was still a year that happened so it’s time for my annual reflection post (probably the only time I still post about myself on tumblr lol) and maybe we might even find some good things that happened this year!

 The Beginning of 2020 vs Now

So, a lot has changed since the start of the year. A pandemic happened, for one. I can’t believe that a year ago I could still go to class every day and see my friends and now I’m pretty much stuck at home every day. The year started out pretty normal and then march happened and well, you all know what happened next. The worst part about the pandemic for me personally was probably the fact that I barely see my friends anymore and I can’t go to class every day. Some people may not think that not going to class is that bad, but I really enjoyed university more than I ever enjoyed school and I was really happy going there every day, and I was already sad I’d only have 4 to 5 years to spend there, so when that period got even shorter it made me kinda sad.

On the other hand, I do think that mentally I’m in a much better place than I was last year around this time. Being home this much really gave me time to reflect and work on my issues, and because my sister was stuck in our house for a couple of weeks I got to talk to her a lot which really helped me feel better. I think in general my entire family (my brother, sister and mom) have become a lot more open with each other which I think is great! I guess quarantine can have some benefits.

 The Best Things about 2020

Okay, here’s is where we’re going to get even more positive and go over all the good things that happened (to me) this year! To be honest, most of the year was a bit of a blur so I probably will forget quite a bit, but I’m going to give this a try anyway. At the start of the year (when things were still normal) I was super excited to get into the next semester, as the one before had,,, kinda sucked, and those 6 weeks of class I had at the start of the year were really great. I remember me and my friends having a competition of who could get mentioned the most in our teacher’s powerpoint presentation so those classes were always interesting. I also finally got to dye my hair for the first time with the help of my friends. I’ve been wanting to do that for so long, and I’m so happy I finally got to do it! I even know how to do it myself now, and my hair hasn’t been brown since the start of march! Then, at the start of march, my dad and stepmother moved away and I permanently moved in with my mom. Before, I used to live with both my mom and my dad and I got really really sick of switching houses every week, so to finally live in one house and have all my stuff in one place was a bit of a relief to me, and I’m still really happy with it. After that, things become a bit blurry. I remember that at the start of quarantine in … April? I watched Sex Education or the first time, which is now not only one of my favourite shows ever, but also taught me a lot and helped me with some of the issues I was dealing with. We’ll skip over the subsequent sexuality crisis I had (I think I might actually be straight??), and skip straight to the summer, when I started watching I-Land. I watched every episode as it aired live, and because of this show my Fridays really became the highlight of the week. I don’t think I’ve ever been so invested in a survival show XD. The rest of the year was mostly just me spending time with myself. It got a bit lonely sometimes, but I also don’t think I’ve ever written as much as I have this year, and my drawing has significantly improved (if I may say so myself)! Especially towards the end of the year, when I started making a planning every day to prevent myself from wasting away all my time on youtube, I got super productive, and I wrote a lot, and made a lot of art, and I really felt good. I even started (gasp) working out. Yeah I know. Shocking right.

There was also a lot of good music that was released this year, and, to close this section on a great note, through one of my classes I finally found a group of friends to play D&D with! We haven’t actually played yet, but we will, and I’m so excited to play the game and get to know these people more! They all seem really kind!

 My Resolutions for 2020?

Now, here’s the part where we check whether I actually reached all the goals I set myself for 2020. As usual, I have no idea what my resolutions were, so I honestly have no idea how I did. Let’s see, shall we?

Express my feelings more (as in I get really awkward in any sappy or mushy situation but I would like to be able to tell people I appreciate them without cringing) – UHM way to attack me on the very first resolution jeez. I did get more open with my family but I still can’t tell people I care about them without cringing so this is a fail lol

Again, learn to depend less on other people’s opinion and trust my own – I’ve been working on it, I think I’ve gotten a bit better? So win?

Get my sleeping schedule back on track – did that! It’s a bit whacky again now because of the holidays, but October and November were a big success regarding this resolution

WRITE MORE. This time I’ll make some concrete goals: Either I’ll get my story’s first draft done, or I’ll write 100 pages on a single project – okay, so here’s the thing. I don’t think I did any of these particular things, however this time I am 100% sure I wrote a lot more than the past years. I cannot count all the files and pages and notes I have now, but I wrote a lot, so I’m counting this as a win

I want to try NaNoWriMo (not necessarily in November, but at some point) – yeah, didn’t do that oops

I want to read a lot again but maybe not as much as this year because I want to focus on writing too. 40 books? – 49 books babey

Read all my current unread books (Aru Shah 2, Skullduggery Pleasant 9, Gemina, The Mistborn Trilogy and Call Down The Hawk) and finish my reread of Heroes of Olympus and the Raven Cycle) – Did all of these except Skullduggery Pleasant 9 (the start was so boring I decided not to read it all) and The Mistborn Trilogy (I am about halfway through the first book I think?) so I’m counting this as half a win

Finally read a book by V.E. Schwab (I’ve been wanting to try one of her books for ages) – Did that! Read a whole trilogy. It was good but not as great as I expected them to be. I think my expectations were too high though

Finish Playing Twilight Princess (I promised my brother) – Did that! I’m really proud of myself and so is my brother

Go. Swimming. Seriously. It’s scandalous that I still haven’t done that after waiting so long to be able to – IT’S BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE I LAST WENT SWIMMING WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I did buy new swimshorts but I still haven’t actually used them… shame on me

Try to worry less about school and not overwork myself – kinda?

Maybe try another drawing challenge somewhere this summer? I haven’t done any of those in a while and I feel like my art needs more attention – okay, so I didn’t do that, but I did at the start of the year make the resolution to make portrait/photoshoot-like drawings for my 8 main oc’s, and I did actually manage to finish that, and they are some of the best drawings I’ve ever made, so though I haven’t actually done a challenge specifically, I did do something

I want to try a 24 hour readathon – Yeah, didn’t do that oops

I kinda want to learn a piano piece as well, but I already have so many hobbies I want to focus on so I don’t know if I’ll have the time ☹ – yeah my dad sold our piano so… fail XD

 Expectations for 2021

Now, after last year I think it’s safe to say we can never really know what to expect. But! I’m going to guess anyway because it’ll be really fun to see next year whether I got anything right.

The first thing that I think will probably happen this year (if I don’t majorly mess anything up) is I’ll be writing my thesis next semester, and then in the summer I’ll get my bachelor’s degree. Honestly I can’t believe how fricking fast those 3 years went, but I guess I’ll just have to roll with it lol. Corona vaccinations will also probably start happening next year, and hopefully this will mean that going outside and seeing my friends will be possible again next year – at least a lot more than it was this year. I hope 2021 will be the year of hanging out with friends and getting to live a little again. Maybe even get to go to class. That would be great.

On to more minor – but no less exciting – things, 2021 will probably bring us a new season of Sex Education! I’m sooo excited for that holy shit. And, in a similar vein, I have high hopes for kpop releases now that SHINee is finally back, and it looks like Haseul is also returning to LOONA! 2021 will also be the year in which ENHYPEN makes their first comeback, and some of the other I-LAND contestants will also make their debut, and there might even be a new season of I-LAND as well in the summer? So there’s a lot of things to look forward to. Oh, and I almost forgot, Dan Howell’s book will be released in May, and there will be a new Grishaverse book, and the Shadow and Bone show will start airing, which I am really curious about. Again, lots of things to look forward to!

 2021 Resolutions

I’m not feeling as ambitious as I was last year, but there are a couple of things I want to try and do, so let’s jump into the resolutions!

I just came up with this today, but I think I want to try and build a bit of a skincare routine? The skin on my nose is kinda flakey, and I think it couldn’t hurt to try and take better care of my skin

Keep up with my daily workouts. I want to work out every day, except when I’m at my dad’s or when it’s a special day, like Christmas or something.

Be able to do either 50 push-ups on my knees, 25 normal push-ups, or both

GO SWIMMING

Keep up with planning daily! It’s a really good way to balance all of my 3195 hobbies and it helps me to not get stressed about school

Write (almost) every day. I need to make it a habit

Draw at least once a week, every other day if possible

Go outside at least once a week. That doesn’t seem very hard but with corona I did not realise how little I go outside if I am not forced to. Sometimes I spend 3 weeks without going out and I don’t even notice it. That can’t be good for me lol

Try to make healthier food choices. Maybe follow the lunch meal plan of the guy whose workout videos I follow.

Get my bachelor’s degree

Grow a beard. I’m getting closer… I know I’m getting closer…

Meet with my frIENDS and give them the alBUMS I have for them

Be more careful with my money, maybe even save a bit of money

Spend less time on social media

Read more educational books

I think that’s it! I can’t think of anything else right now so these will have to do. I wish that 2021 will treat all of you much better than whatever mess 2020 was! Happy 2021!

Last year’s post: (x)

@the-official-pentacorn @asiandutchgirl

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 64

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when it's Quarantine Day 64? 

It's May 14, for those of us who are still having a hard time keeping track of the days, which means we  are very close to halfway through yet another month. Since April ended sometime in the late Pleistocene Epoch, this is a pretty solid accomplishment, go us! It also marks two weeks of being here in North Carolina instead of home in Virginia. My balcony plants are either super dead or forming their own jungle ecology by now, no middle ground. I'm not even going to contemplate what the milk is doing, because it was already not new before I forgot to throw it away on May 1. Oops. 

One of my followers sent me a message today to say they liked my quarantine journal, which is very nice to hear! I have been journaling for an audience off and on since I started my Livejournal in 2001 (I am oooooooold), but Tumblr is not necessarily a natural home for diary blogging. Still, a lot of my internet friends live her, and it's comfortable, and at this point journaling is pretty much the only way I can make sense of what's happening from day to day and week to week. I wrote a few things down during the first couple weeks of quarantine, but it barely seemed real for awhile. My daily journaling began around Day 28 because I had a night where I could no longer smell or taste anything, and it turned out to be allergies but it scared the hell out of me. It suddenly occurred to me that not only would journaling be something interesting to look back on, but it might be a vital part of contact tracing for someone like me whose appointment calendar is written on her hand as often as not. I have not needed to use it for that, thankfully, but I have gotten to tell a lot of stories and work through a lot of stuff in my own brain. If it has entertained anyone else or made anyone else feel less alone, that's even better. 

Today was another tiring one. I spent a lot of time trying to learn a bunch of stuff about Medicare on the fly, plus line up consultations with an elder law attorney for my mother in law and fill out the questionnaires we need to have done in advance. Answering those questions is long and tedious, and it often involves unpleasant truths like spelling out every medical problem either of them have, and every potential financial liability. I got six pages into the thirteen page form and called it a day, because even getting that far had involved about two hours of research and signing up for various government and insurance web portals to dig up information. Blech. It's like registering for the bar exam all over again but with less questions on moral turpitude and more disclosures about gifts to grandchildren. (And I shouldn't complain, the bar exam application was closer to 40 pages.) 

Things with my mother in law did go better today. I feel like I complain about her all the time on here and it's not really fair because she's a great person and I love her a lot. If I didn't, I wouldn't get so upset if she's not taking care of herself! She and the kiddo had a good time today playing games and reading books, and she was able to get in for a very important medical procedure that she had skipped last month because she had nobody to drive her. Today she got that procedure and as a bonus it meant keeping her leg propped up for hours, so overall it was great and there were no new falls. We also had to sit for quite awhile to do the questionnaire stuff, so that was one side benefit of me banging my head against the metaphorical wall for a few hours. Now that she's sleeping and eating more, she just has a lot more energy, and that's a good and bad thing when she's supposed to take it easy. 

Dinner was good today too, my husband decided to make a picnic for the balcony and did up roasted breaded chicken, biscuits with hot honey butter, and spicy potato-bean hash. It sound weird, but it was all very tasty, and the weather today was amazing. It's been very cold all week, but now it really feels springy and perfect. The table umbrella was not working, but I managed to jury-rig it with a bungee cord. Now it won't close but it stays open quite nicely, which beats the opposite. I'm also trying to drink more water, because the air here is super dry and I'm eating a lot of salty food, but results are mixed so far. I need at least another couple cups before bed. 

Had another post-bedtime conversation with the kiddo just a few minutes ago, one of the hardest ones yet. He was very sad because he said things are not getting any better, only worse. After teasing that out for a couple of minutes, we dug down to him being very sad about the fact that his Papa is sick and not getting any better, and that he wants to visit him, but it's also horrible because Papa not only doesn't remember their previous visits from day to day, he doesn't always remember the kiddo right away at this point. And fuck, I didn't know what to say at all to that. He cried, and I cried right along with him, and told him that he was right, it's horrible and unfair that this should happen to anybody, but especially to Papa, who has always been so clever and had such good stories. In a lot of our bedtime conversations I can remind him of good things that are happening or things to look forward to, but there is no reason to assume that anything is going to get better in this situation, and every reason to believe that they will be worse soon. 

In this case, I figured it was best just to level with him, even though he's only ten. I told him that I remembered having to do this with my grandmother, and that was terrible and sad, and it felt like losing her in tiny pieces. It hurts, and it will hurt to lose Papa, and it's okay if he needs to cry or needs to not go on a visit or needs to talk about it with me or Daddy. But I also told him that I believe that my grandma is in heaven now, and that she doesn't forget anymore, and she's not hurting or confused, and that one day we are going to have so much to talk about, and that helps me to feel better. And I reminded him that for Papa, every moment with him is important because every moment he is living in is the one he remembers best. So when seeing the kiddo makes him happy, he is very, very happy and he doesn't remember feeling sad or scared or angry, even if he was just yelling a minute ago. We can still give Papa lots of good moments, because we love him. 

After that, we had to go fix ourselves up because we were both extremely snotty and gross, which gave us the opportunity to make stupid jokes about whether we should waste the extremely valuable toilet paper and whether a Kleenex over one's face counts as appropriate masking. There is definitely something to be said for the period of cathartic humor after a difficult talk. To further that, we went and had some cocoa even though it was already after ten, and I let him have marshmallows and whipped cream. Carbs and sugar, hell yes! It's good for what ails you. Then we watched Micarah Tewers again because silly seamstresses is what makes us both happy these days, and by then he was feeling okay to go to bed again. 

He's sleeping now, and I think he's doing all right. He said he likes talking to me like this, and I'm glad. I like talking to him too, though it is a continuing revelation to me the kind of complex inner life he has going on. I mean of course I understand that he is a real person, but internalizing the fact that he has somehow gone from being the extremely demanding wet bag of flour I brought home from the hospital ten years ago to a full-fledged self-determining individual whose thoughts and insights amaze and baffle me is an ongoing process. (He was an extremely cute bag of flour, don't get me wrong, but I swear to god, raising kids is sometimes like suddenly realizing your adorable baby kitten now has opinions on politics and wants you to defend your positions on moral virtue.)

Anyway, it's time for me to get to bed as well, because the only Walmart pickup slot I could get on Monday was for Friday at 7am. At least they're unlikely to be running behind during the first slot of the day, I guess? It's funny because I also made a Walmart pickup order for when I get back to Virginia, and they were offering me same day pickup. It seems like they may be a little bit more back to normal than we are here. I may have to check and see if they have toilet paper and yeast and everything. That would be awesome. 

[visualgirladvance]

a year of becoming less unlike me

this is going to be really informal, i think. it feels less personal if i try to follow any sort of academic convention. i don’t, like, need to use capital letters. it isn’t going to help me talk about, fuckin’, titty skittles any better. okay. yeah. there you go. (update: I ended up using some capital letters. Oops.)

so, like, i started HRT a year ago today. technically i only started blockers today, and estradiol tomorrow, but like, who cares. same fucking difference. it’s a bit more ~symbolic~ if it’s on valentine’s day. ides of february doesn’t mean shit. i’m trying to push today as a birthday alternative- difficult, given various other significant things occuring today, but i’m just that self-centred, i suppose. it doesn’t feel like a huge deal? probably because it’s not, same way a birthday isn’t. at least, most aren’t. i bet eighteen, twenty-one, et cetera feel special because of the legal implications. do people celebrate their twenty-fifth because they can rent a car? probably not, but like hell i’m not going to.

where was i

right

HRT

okay so like i think the first thing that i didn’t expect was how easy it was to take it somewhat consistently? taking pills regularly has always been hard for me but, y’know. titties. they are an excellent motivator. i mean, i’m small as shit, and looking at girls online thrice my size despite being on this shit just as long as i’ve been hurts like hell, but, still, titties. of course, they weren’t the first thing i noticed- that was the soft skin. at least for me, my skin got soft crazy fast, and, like, incredibly so. cis girls were wowed by the softness of my skin. it’s been cold for a while now, so i’m a bit dried out, but once spring comes again i’ll probably be a squishy soft mess. delightful.

another thing that defied expectations was the lack of emotional impact, probably. i don’t feel much different, except in a couple noticeable ways that i’ll probably get to at some point in the next twenty-five minutes before i change classes. people talked about crying all the time, (which i still fail to do except on rare occasions) getting mood swings, (which i suffer from no more than i used to, which is to say, somewhat? i dunno, it’s hard to tell when you yourself are having mood swings.) and feeling joy consistently for the first time in their lives. (haha, nope.) it sucks that i’m missing out on all of that, i guess, but i can’t really feel too bad about it. HRT really doesn’t actually feel like a radical life change once you’re on it? it just feels like the new normal. a better normal, but still, y’know. normal. and my normal ain’t great.

right yeah i said i would get to that stuff huh. even though it’s been, like, thirty-odd seconds since the (likely non-existent) people reading this read that, it’s been like five minutes for me. okay! okay. so, like, here we go.

the first thing was, like, my sexuality? wait wait no i promise this isn’t horny. i don’t mean it like that. that didn’t change at all, actually. i meant it more like, y’know. i used to think i was bi? or, well, i was bi? it’s unclear. Shit, sorry. Decided to type like this now. It’s like that sometimes. Anyways, a few months back, I kind of went through a crisis? At some point, I realized that I really just had not had any interest in boys for a long time. There are a few that I had, like, realized the aesthetic appeal of? But, like, I didn’t want a boyfriend. Girlfriend, non-binary partner? Hell yes. Boyfriend? Fuck off, no, please no, fucking, why,,,,, right. Okay. Eventually, after some turmoil, I settled on just being a lesbian. And I like being a lesbian! I think the term suits me. Now, though… I’m not sure I really ever was bi? Like, I had just… assumed I was, because I had a crush on someone who I thought was a dude (and, to be fair, at the time, so did they) but wasn’t- and now, like… did I ever really have anything to suggest otherwise? It’s not really relevant- I am who I am now, and all, but my dumbass brain can’t stop thinking about the mechanics there. I suppose that’s the same kind of factor that motivates someone to write an illegible mass of text about her medication usage over the past year.

Okay! Okay. the second one. right. this one is kind of hard to talk about because it’s embarrassing? not in, like, a horny way, i swear, but like. okay. the one emotion i find myself able to feel very strongly (that i could not before, not in the same way) is, like…. flusterhood? flusterdom? i’m very easily flustered. that is what i am saying. and not by, like, overtly sexual shit. i’m talking, like, if i think about cuddling with a hypothetical girlfriend for too long, my brain locks up and i find myself unable to speak, it sounds so nice. seriously. it’s the worst. i mean, like, it’s nice to feel that way, but also being able to accidentally lock yourself up when reading a short story about trans catgirls cuddling is really annoying at times. don’t even get me started on when someone is flirting with me. i swear to fuck

right i was supposed to be talking about HRT huh

i mean yeah it could be false causality but like. i think HRT impacts that.

i kind of forgot what i wanted to do with this? i never really had a conclusion in mind. i guess i could have, like, gone over the life changes that’ve occurred since i started? i’m basically all the way out of the closet, i have actually dated someone, i know so many more people than i used to, i finally stopped fucking growing (thank the gods, five foot six inches is way too tall for me) and uh

i dunno. maybe i thought writing this would make me feel nice about how far i’ve come?

it hasn’t, just to clarify. not really. i still feel as though i have so much more to climb, to endure, to grit my teeth and push through. 

okay i really wanted this to be done before i changed classes but like. y’know. here i am in seminar. okay i think i’m really done here but thank you for reading this if you did. it’s really, really not worth reading, like, this is barely worth getting posted on tumblr. seriously. fuckin’, like, why did i even- okay. cool. thank you

[nikatyler]

*gasp* a replies post! A long replies post! A long replies post where I overshare again! *o* Yeah I kinda missed doing these. I’m now at home, but won’t be for much longer. First, I’m going to meet some of my new classmates on Friday and I’ll spend the whole weekend with them! We’re going somewhere...well I don’t even know where that is, just that it’s in nature and I’ve never been there before! Thank gods we’re meeting at the main station in Prague, or else I wouldn’t get there myself. Then on Moday, I have to go to my uni, and then once more on Wednesday I think? And on Wednesday, I’ll have to wake up at 4 am. my LiFe Is SoOoOOOoO HaRd oH mY gOd. No, I’ll be fine.

And a month from now, I’ll be moving to my dorm. That’s some crazy stuff. I can’t believe it’s happening. Last week, my dad actually took me to Prague and we went to see where it is. The location reminds me a lot of my home, but I won’t tell you what exactly that is because no one needs to know that. Anyway, school starts in October. I’m actually looking forward to studying, but the “living alone in a big city with people I’ve never seen before” part is scary. D: I’ll give you updates.

Anyway, today was a weird day. First, I sat alone by the lake when these two guys came and talked to me (I didn’t mind that actually, they were kinda nice), then when I got up and said I had to go home, one of them complimented my legs...which would’ve been really nice but then he basically implied he’d go to bed with me...and like literally five minutes ago he said he had a girlfriend...basically men are scary. Then later, mum and I went grocery shopping and I saw my middle school crush with his girlfriend...and decided that his girlfriend is cute, way cuter than him actually...bisexual culture I guess, crushing on your middle school crush’s girlfriend lmao. Then we went to pay for our groceries and the cashier...was my childhood friend who also happened to be my first crush and also my last crush and these days I’m wondering if I’m really crushing on him or if I’m just holding onto him because I don’t know any better. Long story but if you ever feel like I have a thing for childhood friends to lovers trope, maybe blame him.

Wow. Oversharing much? Let’s get to those replies then, before I tell you what colour my underwear is or something.

Also!! Stream Lover. You won’t regret it.

volcanopasta replied to your photoset “@ ea guess what we still don’t have in ts4”

I miss spooning

I feel like that’s one of those little things half of the community misses. ;-;

simlishprincess replied to your photoset “MAGNOLIA???”

she’s morphing

She’s broken like this really often and it scares me :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Vanessa: “So do you forgive me?” Gwyneth: “Of course I do. I must...”

Lol, a bpr founder telling thez plan no more children, they are so funny

These sims have no clue what I have in store

And just you wait for gen 2

Just you wait

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “There it is. Wonder what she could use the computer for…;) (no, I...”

Well I can`t say this is surprisingXD

Yeah...do most people go for purple? At least most bpr people I follow/followed went for this colour :D I also wanted to do this thing where the founder chooses the pink person, but the heir is purple. Idk why, I just wanted it to be like that haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Uhh oh hi again. You guys are seeing this right after the last post,...”

Jeez, Vanessa looks like that liquid Terminaor from Terninator 2.Funnily enough he was posing as a police officerXD

Lol I have no idea what you’re talking about because I’m bad at watching iconic movies (read as: I haven’t watched any of the movies that people think everyone has watched :’D) but I’ll believe you lmao

dandylion240  replied to your photoset “I really can’t justify this, can I? Listen, I have to stay true to my...”

Sometimes the aliens won't let you go even if you want to.

Oh you’re right

create-a-sim replied to your photoset “She traded her policeman hat for a fishnet top. Fashion, you know.”

me as a policeman

Saaaame

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “You know how I said I couldn’t justify this? Well…Alexa play Oops I...”

Yeah, make Roxanne that purple sibling/s

Careful what you wish for 👀

dandylion240 replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

Awe I'm glad you didn't delete without telling anyone. You would have been missed. But you're not the only one who thinks about doing that though.

I love seeing you on my dash ❤️

1o8percent replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

I’m glad that sharing your worries was able to help you. Simblr can be overwhelming and well life in general can be too. It’s nice to have someone to let it out to. I’m glad you’re still around!

♥♥♥

Thank you guys so much. This happens to me from time to time, but it’s never been this bad.

desira-sims replied to your post “Random thoughts and ideas: NSB, BC and my hair (again)”

I’m slowly working through the sentence starters too. I didn’t realize quite how difficult some of them would be. Lol

Same! I might incorporate one of them into my yellow gen because it would fit there perfectly. God I’m really going to milk this one awful awful event for angst huh. That will be frowned upon. As for the other...I have an idea for it but it doesn’t fit the og Raleb timeline at all (it was for them) and I want it to be canon...like I kinda just don’t want to call it an AU, but I guess I’ll have to.

aiseinei replied to your photoset “Eden: “Ughhh oh my god my life is soooo hard!”

I would be too if I was stuck staring pink in the mirror for the rest of my life �� no very cute!

Oof same haha. One of the reasons why I was hesitant about starting BPR was the pink :D

And then I went and made my founder marry a pink sim and have four pink children with her, because that makes sense. I love making myself suffer, yay!

Thank you, btw!

medleymisty replied to your post “I'm not saying I want to re-read my entire NSB but...I kinda do. Will...”

*hugs* We're our own worst critics. I used to cringe at my old stuff too, but really it was decent. I might have learned more since then, but it was still good. I'm glad you can see the good in yours. :)

I’m definitely not as hard at my younger self anymore. I went and read some of my stories written when I was 13-14, and I tried to look at it that way. They weren’t perfect, but maybe they were good for a child of that age. I mean, I always got good grades on my writing homework, and my teachers have always liked how I worked with words, so...yeah, it’s not perfect, but I’m not going to have perfectly fleshed out characters and storylines when I have barely even understood that the world isn’t just black and white, good and evil. There are shades inbetween.

That got deep again but I have a lot of feelings about this and I’m sorry to my younger writer self for how I’ve treated her. Keep going, kid.

xiapxls replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Whenever I come across a new blog I'm interested in I always read everything before I hit follow

whysimstho replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

It was how I found your blog actually!

yamekamerainbows27 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have! ✋✋

elisabettasims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I feel like I read over 90% of it?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me. Was in love with Ross since he was born in game. He was such a lil cutie!!

desira-sims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Came across a Ross and Caleb post and went back to the beginning to read it all.

1o8percent replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have ��

Wooow there’s a lot of you. And you stuck with me through the bad and the worse, through all the dumb ideas I got...thank you. Seriously, thank you. There’s more in store, I promise.

You’ll want to punch me in the face eventually, I’m just saying.

Speaking of punching someone in the face, yesterday I was waiting for my hair to dry and I thought hmm, let’s go read gen 2 of my NSB. And...I knew Ross was an idiot when he was young, but I forgot he was that bad. I’m glad none of us accepted it and we only collectively forgave him when he got his crap together. Yay. Also yay we didn’t cancel him because cancel culture is disgusting, people can learn from their mistakes.

I’m going off topic again. That happens when I’m in a good mood.

elisabettasims replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

It's true, there is never enough.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

There is never enough

Glad we’re on the same page haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “��”

Yes, tumblr finally stopped bullying me and send my ask!

Yay tumblr, it got its crap together for once!

No, jokes aside, if you ever send me an ask and I don’t respond, feel free to send it again. I think I got better at answering my asks fast, so you can definitely tell by that. Also, if I answer everyone else’s and not yours...that’s also a sign because I hardly ever keep asks private (unless I’ve been asked to do so, then I’ll always respect your wish!)

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “I have to catch a bus in like ten minutes but here’s what I’ve been...”

This hairstyle suits Ross!

It kinda really does?? It was also the closest I could get to his ts4 one haha.

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Contestant number seven has arrived! Talia: “Is everything alright?...”

god yeah as an experienced bc player i feel that, introductions take SO long and get SO annoying

I had an “ok I’m never doing this again” moment with literally every contestant because 1) it was taking forever and 2) making ten different and yet still entertaining dialogues was hard

And I write a lot so you’d say that would be easy for me, but nope :’D

doka-chan replied to your post “I don't know how many of you are interested in my book...”

Book recommendations are always a plus. Thank you ! :)

I like them too! Not only because, well, I get a book recommendation, but also because I’m always curious about what people read haha.

vintageplumbobs replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Not all of us have time for breakfast! I can’t be looking at that in the staff kitchen! People will riot! ����

Oh that’s right, forgive me tumblr, I have sinned

desira-sims replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

That is the sweetest thing ever. ������

dandylion240 replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

I love it ❤️

Thank you guys ;-; ♥ I loved writing this so much. It gave me that nice warm feeling inside, you know what I mean? They make me so happy! ;-;

wcif a vampire best friend that would eventually end up marrying me?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Every single post of Emerson bc was flagged and they weren’t nsfw either mostly

Yeah, this is so weird...I know people say it happens when the picture has a lot of “skintone” coloured pixels...but that’s not always the case with my flagged posts??

Also (I’ll never shut up about this)...why is there a female-presenting nipples rule when it clearly can’t ever tell female and male nipples apart? I’m just saying. And yes I get it, for AI it sure has to be difficult to tell such things apart but in my opinion that’s exactly why they should get rid of it and only incorporate it when it can tell it apart. Actually, hold on, nope. The nipple rule is stupid no matter what gender the nipple is.

And I’ve just used the word nipple more times than ever before in my nineteen-something years long life.

desira-sims replied to your photoset “Some more pictures of Aretha ♥”

She's so pretty

Thank you! ♥ I’m happy with how she turned out.

vintageplumbobs replied to your photoset “I did not forget about those townie makeovers! @epicvictoria suggested...”

That style really suits her. But then...maybe I’m biased...

I think it suits her way better than her original outfits too, but same, I might be biased...vintage/retro aesthetic is my jam.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

Looking good!

omiscanking replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

I'm scrEAMINGGGG

Haha thank you! I hope it’s a good kind of screaming :D

toxoplasmajuice replied to your post “Thoughts?”

screenshots are cool and all but i say if you wanna rely more on text then go for it! especially if you've figured out that taking all those screenshots is an obstacle for you - do what works best for you, you know?

doka-chan replied to your post “Thoughts?”

For me a story is up to its writer. I don't mind only one picture with a huge text, or the contrary a lot of picture with little to no text. As long as we got attached to the characters, it's not important, as long as it's progressing and understandable.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I don’t mind reading a lot of text. Pics are always second to the story to me.

desira-sims replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I sort of think there should be a balance. No, not everything needs to be shown as a ss, but it should be more than one photo for a wall of text.

Thank you for your feedback! I think it would be no more than one Word page of text. Which is a lot still but I think that’s the maximum I’d go for. And I mean, I’d show all the important moments. It’s just, I guess I don’t need ten different pictures of the same conversation when these people are just standing next to each other. And it doesn’t need to be split into ten different posts either.

I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.

deathflowertea replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

TS4 looks good on her! ��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

Cute!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

I love her!!

Thank you guys! I really like how she turned out too.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I'm thinking of starting something like "random facts about..." tags...”

I do love when people talk about their characters and stories! It makes OCs more real and all the small details are just adorable!

Me too. I want to know all the details. Tell me how you came up with this or that. Tell me what inspired you to do this. Tell me which song you associate with them. Tell me little things like what shower gel they’re using. I JUST LOVE OCS OKAY

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Nicky: “This is a tragedy. Can I burn my picture before anyone sees...”

me whenever i finish a drawing

big relatable mood

create-a-sim replied to your post “list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for...”

I love good lyrics as well ;)

I’ve recently found a lot of appreciation for lyrics that seem simple, but then you get into them or read some behind the scenes facts and realize they’re not as simple as they might seem. Then I feel like the person who wrote it is a genius.

ineptbubbles replied to your photoset “Could I ever get bored of her? Nope.  Could I ever get bored of making...”

Omgosh I love that shirt!!

Me toooo and I need one irl ;-; But I mean, I’ve told my sister so many times this week, maybe when my birthday comes around in December, she’ll remember and she’ll tell my parents I want it? :D I mean I could just ask them for that myself but I just know I’d be embarrassed for some reason.

mlpsimmer replied to your photoset “Roxanne: “Dad, what are you doing here?! You told me you were supposed...”

Your sims are gorgeous!

Thank you so muuuuch! ♥

desira-sims replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

These two. �� My heart. I just love them.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

I love this thank you ❤️

Same. They borrowed my heart, said they’d give it back and then ran away with it and I never saw it again. smh guys, stealing isn’t nice

And no, thank YOU for making me write this ♥

mlpsimmer replied to your post “Tumblr……..your protect-kids-from-seeing-nipples algorithm still isn’t...”

It happened to one of my drafts, which was never published. They were fully dressed, too! It's a little annoying.

Yeah, I just talked about this above in a reply to an older comment. It’s...ugh tumblr, what is u doing

[akaluan]

moon6shadow-main replied to your post “moon6shadow-main replied to your post: That moment when you realize...”

...facepalm I actually forgot about that one. I’ve been rereading and catching up on AO3 and Wordpress but the bleach/log horizons au isn’t there so oops. >.> XD :) (I’ve just been enjoying all the others that have been posted on AO3 & Wordpress. :D Oh ouch, yes I can see that not being good for writing inspiration. I was wondering around on pillowfort for a little while but haven’t really looked at the social aspect of fandom in a few months after heading back to AO3. (1)

Sounds like everyone is still scattered to the four winds right now. Not sure if things have picked up for fandom anywhere else? Although it sounds like you’ve been having fun on discord at some point. :) (2)                   

Although, muses on log horizon/bleach crossover does this mean inspiration for more or cleaning them up to officially post? :) I need to reread them now to remind me what the girls are doing. XD :) Although young or not I’m still expecting Karin to learn to fight younger then she did in cannon, to protect her sister from a (more) visible threat if nothing else.  So some fighting skills but not joining the main group.... oh wait some of the log horizons main characters are really young (3)    

So she and Yuri might fall in with them :/ well fun story wise but young... I forget how young they all are...             

I only put the old AUs on Wordpress as I start to work on them again. It’s just less hassle on my part that way, and some of the AUs or drabbles will probably never get carried over because they’re done.

I haven’t been doing anything on Pillowfort. It’s just not really... I don’t know. There’s not much there and it feels like there really isn’t a large Bleach community there either, so I feel very awkward at the thought of how often I post something -- in such a small community, that sort of unilateral flood is... not what I want to do.

So yeah, fandom is pretty separated and I think a lot of people either scattered to twitter or retreated into private discord servers. A fair number of people did come into the server I made, yeah, and it’s been pretty nice. Just makes it really lonely here on tumblr since some people don’t use the site anymore.

As for the Bleach/Log Horizon crossover, it’s actually me writing it right from the start. I’ve got about 600 new words that should blend into another segment I’ve written to make the opening of the story.

Yuzu and Karin are ten years old in this story. They’re ten years old and their characters are barely level 3 because they just started playing a week or so before in preparation for the expansion pack coming out which had something that interested them (on top of wanting to spend more time with Ichigo). And no, they’re not joining the main group, they’re going to join my OC Guild XD They do learn to fight monsters, though! Nothing really big, but low level fun things with some other experienced players around to help out.

The youngest LH character that I know about are the twins Minori and Tohya who are about 13, I believe. So I’m pretty sure I made Yuzu and Karin the youngest trapped players known, thus the whoops. They’ll get to interact with people about their age, of course, but I’m not getting them mixed up in the Hamelin Guild mess. That’s just cruel and nope, can’t do that to them.

[101itm]

tell-tale: anxiety and depression

this whole post just got fucking deleted so thanks tumblr i have to rewrite it and your only excuse is “oops, something went wrong” fuck you.

*deep breath*

so anyway my mom sent me this:

and although i don’t have anxiety, i definitely had these symptoms as a child. even now (it explains my unnecessary need for straight A’s). OCD and anxiety disorders are under the same umbrella of disorders: “neurotic, stress-related, and somatoform disorders.” so it would make sense if children who ended up having these disorders had similar childhood symptoms.

it’s important to me that people can tell if there’s something wrong with them. i’m not saying self diagnosis is the best thing or the worst thing (a tricky topic that deserves its own post, really). i’m just saying that people need to be able to see the signs and understand them. it makes getting help a lot easier.

and i want to make a series of “tell-tale” that describes the symptoms of various mental illnesses. i have only struggled with anxiety and depression, but many people struggle with other illnesses that don’t get as much attention. i’m starting with the two that i know from experience, though.

anxiety signs & symptoms:

chest pain, pressure, and/or tightness

various heart problems

various stomach and digestive problems (frequent nausea)

hyperventilation and difficulty breathing

low energy and drowsiness

feeling: overwhelmed, shaky, sick, scared

obsessive, intrusive, and irrational overwhelming thoughts (think “what if’s” and planning ahead for unlikely scenarios)

confusion, delusions, detachment, disorientation, forgetfulness

hallucinations

nightmares

anger, annoyance, agitation, easy frustration, sadness/wanting to cry, mood swings, impulsivity, isolation and loneliness

muscle problems and pain

trouble concentrating

derealization: the thought that nothing around you is real

depersonalization: the thought/experience of viewing yourself from outside of your body

blushing (seriously!)

shaking and tremors (i almost forgot! something i’m asked about frequently and i’m embarrassed to admit. i shake all day every day, and it’s only made worse with panic attacks and public speaking)

here’s a link to childhood signs. whether you want to know how long you’ve had it or if you have a child.

depression signs & symptoms:

feelings of: sadness, emptiness, anxiety, helplessness, guilt, worthless, hopelessness, irritability

lack of interest in what you used to like

drowsiness and low energy

trouble concentrating

changes in sleep patterns (my anxiety has me sleep: 10pm to 10am. my depression has me sleep: 3am to 10 am and a 3+ hour nap)

changes in appetite

“aches and pains” headaches, cramps, body pains, upset stomach and digestive issues

lack of motivation

thoughts of suicide (now, something important that i learned a year or so ago: people are most likely to commit suicide when they’re getting better. in the worst part of your depression you won’t have the energy to commit suicide, but you’ll have the thoughts. if you have the energy to commit suicide, it’s actually a sign that you’ve seen the worst of your depression and you’re finally bouncing back. just hold on, it gets better.)

now, i know that they have overlapping tendencies, but in reality they’re opposite sides of the spectrum. it’s hard to explain until you’ve experienced both. my anxiety has me on all day. i’m running around. i’m always thinking. i feel like i don’t have a true break in the day. the best part of my day is going to sleep because i feel so run down from how my anxiety has me all day.

however, on the opposite side of the coin, my depression has me the complete opposite. i’m dragging my feet all day, i want to lay in bed all day. i’m numb, and i barely think. when i do think it’s about nothingness. thoughts like “why don’t humans have whiskers?” just absolute bullshit. the best part of my day is sleeping because i’m passing the time.

anxiety and depression are hard to live with, and it’s hard to get the courage to reach out and get help. sometimes people have to wait for someone else to reach out and help them. but if you know what’s wrong, it’s a little easier to tell someone and get some help. look at the symptoms. make a checklist. get help.

it takes time and knowledge, but it gets better. don’t give up, seek help.

i know it’s hard, and it’s not going to get any easier. but people love you, and care about you, and if you seek help you’ll get it.

it gets better.

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

[drakewalkerstan]

Other End of the Line - Damien x MC

Summary: After the late night search with Nadia, Kai feels scared and alone, so turns to the only person they know will be on their side— Damien.

Pairing: I wrote this as Damien/MC (I used the generic name, Kai, and no pronouns) but this could technically still be Gen

Warnings: some strong language I guess?

Word Count: 1,626 oops!

Author’s Notes: Ahh! This is the first time in 6 years I’ve posted any writing online and the first time ever on Tumblr! I couldn’t get this out of my head, and it’s part of the reason I made this sideblog haha. Even though I’m drakewalkerstan, I still LOVE Damien, so this was born! 

"Hello?" Damien blearily answered his phone, half-awake and blinded by the glare of the screen.

"Damien," he heard Kai hiss on the other end. "Shit, Damien, help..."

Damien was now wide awake, he sat up in his bed and switched on the lamp on his bedside table, jamming the phone against his ear nervously.

"Kai, are you okay? What's going on?"

"I... I sound fucking crazy. I think... I think Hayden's a robot. Steve too. I swear to god, Damien, please."

"Okay, what happened," Damien asked. He was half afraid that Kai was on something right now, but he didn't want to laugh the call off just in case. Kai was silent for a moment, concentrating on the sound of Damien’s breathing on the other end in order to calm down.

"Okay, I don't know if Nadia told you, but we were in a car crash an-"

Damien’s heart stuttered for a moment, then raced back to action double-time.

"WHAT? Okay, hold up! A car crash? Are you okay? Jesus, Kai, oh my god!"

"Don't worry, I'm fine, we're all okay."

"Thank god,” Damien mumbled under his breath, his eyes squeezed shut in relief. “What happened?"

"We were driving back from the waterfall- Nadia, Steve, Hayden and I- and a deer jumped in front of the car, so Steve swerved and we crashed."

"Oh my god..."

"I’m fine, but... but Hayden tore open the car door and pulled me out."

There was a moment of complete silence, and Damien could only hear the sound of Kai's soft breathing on the other end of the line.

"What?"

"Yeah. I came to and I tried to get out of the car, but the door was totally smashed up and I just couldn't open it. Hayden was able to pry the car door open and get me out of the car. Nadia said it was adrenaline, but..."

"No, yeah, that's weird."

"Plus I asked about it, and Hayden has no memory of it because of a concussion."

Damien turns over this information in his head, but no matter how he approaches it he can’t think up a logical explanation for the insane feat of strength. Kai, silent for a moment, can almost hear the gears in his mind turning on the other end of the line.

"Okay," Kai begins, "other weird things: the fact that Steve has no memory of how to get around his town?"

"Huh?"

"We asked him to take us to the local waterfall where he used to hang out as a teen and he had absolutely no idea where to find it- he was barely able to comment on anything unless we prompted him."

"What do you mean prompting?"

"Okay, so originally Steve just talked about the tourist attractions in town, and didn't even bring up the waterfall until Nadia mentioned that someone told her about it. And then he didn't know how to find it- even though he said he'd been there a few times- until Nadia had to remind him again."

"Kai, it was a while ago, maybe he honestly forgot about it."

"Okay, get this, we visited his house today and he was acting super weird."

Damien, though now more skeptical about the conspiracy theory, opens his mind once again to Kai.

"Weird how?"

Kai takes a deep breath and tries to recollect exactly what was so unnerving about what happened in that little farmhouse.

"When we got there, his dad Robert was joking around about how he was a rascally kid and he used to ride his horse Moonlight. Steve laughed and told his dad to stop messing with us, and he honestly didn't remember that he'd ever mentioned- or even had- a horse named Moonlight!"

Kai waited for any sort of reaction, but was once again met by Damien's silence.

"Okay," Kai snarked.

"Sorry, I'm just thinking," Damien murmured. "Wasn't he concussed?"

"If he was, he didn’t mention it. I don't think that's how concussions work though!"

"Hmm, okay. Is there anything else?"

"So his dad went to the kitchen and Steve showed us a picture of him as a teenager at a football game. When Robert got back-"

"Is Robert Steve's dad?"

"Yeah, sorry." Kai said. "So Robert walks back in and sees us with the picture and gets really mad. He calls Steve into the kitchen with him, so I eavesdrop-”

“That’s my Kai,” Damien interjected proudly. Kai could hear the grin in his voice, and chuckled for a moment before continuing on. In fact, while Kai was deciding whether or not to listen in on the conversation, Damien was a key factor in motivating the eavesdropping, but that’s definitely something Damien would get cocky about, so there’s no way he’s being told that.

“Robert is really mad at Steve for showing us this picture. He tells Steve, and I quote, ‘Our personal lives are our business.’ This is apparently a regular occurrence between the two of them, too.”

“That’s strange, I’ll grant you that, but maybe Robert is really private, or senile or something,” Damien said

Despite everything, Kai snorted at the suggestion.

“I doubt he’s senile, but it gets worse. Okay, fast forward to like an hour or two ago. We are all in the bed and breakfast and I wake up and hear Nadia shouting. Steve’s fucking gone.”

“WHAT? He left?”

Damien is filled with righteous anger on behalf of his friend and it makes Kai feel stupidly warm inside. Even though, both Kai and Nadia know that their friend is a little standoffish and cynical, but any show of caring from him never fails to put a goofy smile on Kai’s face.

“His suitcase is gone,” Kai continues, ignoring Damien’s outburst, “and neither Robert nor Steve are picking up their phones. Hayden calls the police then instructs us to stay in the bed and breakfast instead of joining the search, which…is weird?”

“Kind of, yeah. Hayden insisted you stay in the room instead of all searching together?”

“Yeah! Before even trying to call Robert or the police, it was just ‘I’ll search all of Cedar Rest, I won’t stop until I find him.’ So then Nadia and I say ‘Fuck it,’ and we decide to go searching too. We head out to the waterfall, and we decide to split up-”

“Dumb.”

“-to search for clues. It’s a dinky old town, what’s dangerous about splitting up?”

“...Robots?”

“Shut up. So I find the picture that Steve showed us, which for the record is of him and his dad standing together at a football game. He also doesn’t look any younger than he does now, but whatever. You know what I notice?”

Kai waits for Damien to chime in with a ‘What?’ but he is silent.

“Okay… The matchmaker from Eros is IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE PHOTO.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“Positive! This is the exact same lady, sitting in the crowd at the football game, like… at least 5 years before he’s even supposed to be connected with Eros!”

Damien is, again, completely silent, but Kai can tell that he’s thinking about the new information. On the other end of the line, Damien runs his hand over his face, trying to think of any logical explanation of this connection, but his mind is blank.

“Yeah, that’s fishy. I believe you, something’s not right there,” Damien concedes.

“So I showed Nadia the picture, and when we came back to the bed and breakfast, I found a goodbye note from Steve right by the doormat of their room!”

“So he left of his own volition,” Damien said.

“Allegedly! Nadia went back to her room, she’s freaking out, and Robert, Steve and Hayden are all MIA.”

“So what’s happening now?”

“I’m in my bed, in case Hayden comes back,” Kai says, lowered to a whisper after realizing that the conversation had gotten way too loud. “It’s just- they’re both so perfect, and they’re both exactly in line with what we told to Eros, and with Steve’s weird past and Hayden’s fucking superstrength? Something’s not right and I’m freaked out.”

"Okay, everything’s extremely suspicious. I still don’t think they’re robots, but I’m honestly leaning towards them being a cult or something. I’m going to do some more digging into Eros, and into Steve and Hayden, okay? I’ll use some connections, try to find out how far back their records really go. You just need to stay safe and take care of you and Nadia for now.”

"Yeah. Thank you for believing me. I didn't know what else to do."

"It's no problem, I'm always here for you, Kai."

Kai sighed deeply and flipped over on the bed.

"I know I should have listened to you about Eros. Ugh, I'm so stupid..."

"No. Just because I was paranoid doesn't mean you should have been. It's good that you-"

"Shit shit I think Hayden's coming shit bye Damien"

"Wait, Kai, I-"

The sound on the other end of the line cut out and Damien pulled the phone away from his ear. Shit. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep now, so he got out of bed and opened his blinds, letting the early morning sun in before turning on his computer and starting his search.

On the other end of the state, Kai was stuffing the phone under the pillow and pretending to be asleep, as Hayden pulled back the covers and snuggled into bed. Kai’s heartbeat was racing, and the only comforting thought was that Damien was back home, looking for an answer. Kai felt kind of guilty, thinking about Damien like this while Hayden was curled up in the same bed, but Damien would not leave Kai’s thoughts or heart, no matter how much Kai tried.

[deeton]

vent

i swear i never do this. like not just on tumblr like in real life also literally last week i gently touched on the subject of my personal life matters to my proffesor and starting crying. i NEVER cry. why am i like this. anyways im gonna add one of these boys in cuz ig this is gonna be a long mf  post 

anyways i have no long term goals and i just dont,, fucking care,,, about school. but i love school so much. besides the schoolwork, obviously. but i love it here. i go to school in miami and im from michigan so like it’s actually fucking great. im finishing my sophmore year and writing this post instead of my essay that was due at 11:59 as it’s almost 5:30 am (oops forgot to hit send!) and i have another essay due i got an extention on thats in spanish and then i have my final spanish essay due tomorrow at 9 pm so im just not gonna sleep ig. i voluntarily do the wrong thing. like why . what the fuck. am i in control of my own control? im just so out of balance. and i just donntttt give a shit about anythingggg that i actually need to give a shit about. i wasnt always like this. i mean i use short term goals to get me by. make it to the next festival. make it to the next flight home to be w my parents whom i love dearly. but i dont feel a purpose for anything. i feel like i just want to make people happy and thats it. i just wanna make eveeryone happy. and theyre not. like my brother caused all this drama w my lesbian friends cuz theyre a couple and he deadass asked one of them to fuck behind the others back so now the other girl is salty and wont sell him wax and hes alwaaaaaaaaaays using wax all day every day and he doesnt get out much and his friends are shitty and hes so lonely and it’s so sad cuz hes actually really enjoyable to be around and idk whats goin on in his head. he doesnt believe in 12 steps. he may or may not have taken xans recently after all that work fighting a nasty battle with h for like a year at least. he told me he was thinkin of selling bars i said no dude. like you can just sell wax and not fuck up ppls lives and ik hell take it if he has it cuz thats what i would do. i just want him to have friends

anyways this is the end of my sophmore year of undergrad and it’s the first year where i actually made real live actual friends in mia who actually wanna hang out w me. im michigan i always had friends but each and every one of them is their special kind of wack and makes me sad sometimes but thats life ig???? or could it be better........................... oh except my family friends we’re all on some ride or die shit i love them. but i have friends kinda and it’s awesome but when im alone left w my own thought actively not writing essays i feel like such a piece of shit and im so full of hate. i constantly make hypothetical arguments with people im beefin with and i just make things seem os much worse in my head. i think i hold so much hate for so many people because im supplying it. i hate myself, and im spreading it onto actual stupid ppl who are stupid (thats not hate thats just fax) i dont wanna be gay. i hate myself for being gay. fuck counseling btw im not about that shit thats why im here lol. IDK my parents and family and friends love me for me but i just feel so guilty about it. i feel bad like all the time maybe thats why i look for an escape so much and look forward so heavily to music festivals. im literally awesome tho like im naturally the shit and am really cool and want to make ppl happy but i think i turn a blind eye to this negative side of myself. to be so full of hate it must be out in the open for people to see. i dont know what to do with it, where to put it, or how to destroy it. i just want to destroy myself instead, so instead of turning to drugs and alc, i turn to social media and not giving a shit about my future so that i can destroy my future self since i cant destroy the me who i am rn, otherwise id end up sent to rehab and super addicted to something. i wonder why i have 0 love life and i say im looking 4 love but where it @ tho. ppl just try and use me. and some people who are close to me turn out being weirdly jealous and start being mean and it fucking sucks. i need to meditate on it lol. this sucks, i cant wait to go home but i have to do the work first and i just dont. fucking. want to. 0 motivation. i can barely get out of bed in the morning and when i do thats just where i end up. i just keep telling myself nothing is real but it all is. i use to firmly be a solipsist and say nothing is real but human beings proved me wrong in good and bad ways. i could eat more than  i do i just havent been this last couple weeks bc deadlines mostly. fuck school but i love my school. it took me soooooo fucking long to find my people tho like wasted a year of my life so fuck that.

[reenignegolb-blog]

Extremely Dramatic Post

Tumblr is very new to me, and I noticed immediately it is flooded with studyblrs scriblrs allthesameblrs, people dedicated to motivate others and themselves with aesthetic displays of the perfect layout of study space or the perfect ratio of coffee mug placement to colored pen number and alignment.It is all so much bullshit in one place. Nice handwriting, looks like you stenciled and shaded each letter in a really fucking long amount of time, and the end result is you copied the textbook. I have never in my life seen anybody take real notes like that. Nobody I have ever met in my entire life actually. It is super weird. I have seen more realistic pages on tumblr where it is like okay good work it looks like a human being took some notes. Who the fuck has that much time on their hands to create 3 pages of cryptic colored aestheshit? Is there not important shit to do in your life? It almost feels like people are bragging and showing off. Who can create the coolest looking notes? Come on. Maybe what bothers me the most is not the notes themselves, but the way people are using them on social media. I think it is great for visual learners. It is the new, ‘just pretend I woke up like this selfie’. You can produce the same exact notes with a computer in half the time. You can also be way more efficient and learn more at a quicker pace with normal written neat notes. I must assume the majority of the studyblrs are not doing something that difficult.

It is the pages that seem set-up that are more than annoying, oh look there happens to be some anime art while you are studying, did you bring it just to take a picture? Oh make sure the styrofoam cup is right in the corner because coffee and studying makes aesthetic, put that snack front and center because you are super creative and healthy! Don’t forgot some quote that focuses the attention on your self, oops spilled expresso with extra cream on my white dress haha. My point besides whining and complaining, which is what I plan to do on here, is that people are portraying a false sense of the real world. The focus of all the posts are on aesthetic and looks instead of learning. I draw a parallel to people posting pictures of themselves showing off their bodies on social media to motivate themselves and others in fitness and health.Their goal is to motivate others, but the reality is the people who display the best appearance get the most attention. The focus isn’t on the hard work it takes in the gym, but on their new blue and pink nike shoes and outfit because dressing well makes you feel good and helps you to lift weights or run. Please don’t go to the gym and feel the need to dress up to work out. 

On another note, where are the engineers or physicists? I don’t think there are any online because they have more work. I do not have time to craft special notes. I have time to make neat ones, but have a ton of work to do. I also work 10-15 hours a week along with my course overload. I may not have my entire life together, but I think those that have time to make the crafty notebooks, the notes are the only part of their life that is put together, and maybe that is why the focus is on that. I barely have time to write down what my professor says in class. Most importantly do these people have lives? If I had to make notes like these I would have no life, and as an engineering student there is just not enough time for life. 

Okay I am not being completely serious. Some if it looks cool. My actual opinion might be that people who can take those kind of notes have their lives together, and my life is a disaster. For those of you who don’t have their lives neat and perfectly organized and colored, do your best. More importantly, go to class and pay attention. Listen attentively and ask questions unless you hate that shit then just be quiet and let other people do that. Read the textbook before class, and your notes will be much better. You will understand what the professor is teaching because believe it or not it usually follows the book. I find myself being a big ol hypocritimus lately, which I hate, because I don’t always make it to class, and I stopped reading the textbooks, and I fucking mentioned a grade once today before talking about something when the grade part wasn’t necessary and I literally stated yesterday I don’t think people should talk about grades. Not everyone can get by with less effort, but it has always been that way for me, so I don’t think I could even make good looking notes if I tried. Would be fun though, and isn’t that the point? I don’t feel like my education is fun at the moment. Brutal is a better word, but at the same time it is easy? I constantly complain on how classes are too easy, and then about the amount of work I have to do. I would say that the work is easy in the sense that I can always do it if I try, but there is a lot of it, and I don’t want to try. In terms of mental health I am mostly baseline, and my grades haven’t been better in my entire college career. What the fuck is my problem then? There is nothing in my way except myself. 

[thedragonlover]

4. "i'm too sober for this" and 11. Dear diary wish you the best day!!! 🌻❤

aaaaaAAAAA THANK YOU

Evidence I can be a dumb: I reblogged that and didn’t even think about the fact that replying to asks about this would mean I’d have to post my writing on tumblr… is it weird that I got a little nervous? Considering I normally just write what I feel like and have uploaded lots of my work elsewhere.ahaha ignore meeee

I’ll write for MM because, hell, it’s cute and I feel like cute today okay not at all because you’re a MM blog and wanted a good chance you’d like reading what I wrote

just beware because I swear bunches and am writing this for giggles, and also I’ve never written for this fandom be gentle

4. “I’m too sober for this.”(Where MC isn’t paired with anyone, but you’ve still had the party and finally met the RFA face-to-face. Trying to avoid spoilers for anyone who hasn’t completed particular routes.)

.

It was a small get-together - just you and the RFA members meeting up for a nice celebratory dinner. It was a shame that V couldn’t make it, but he was grateful for the invitation. You were so relieved to have helped make the party a success, although you didn’t want to take a lot of credit. Everyone chipped in and put in so much hard work that, really, it made you proud to be a member of such a wonderful, kind of dysfunctional family.

Then you all sat down.

Zen got pretty defensive when Jumin commented on this “commoner establishment.”

This was a place that you had picked out, have some respect; don’t worry that it doesn’t meet his ridiculous standards, he’s just a stupid trust fund kid; babe, he’s calling me shallow, I’m too handsome to be anything like that materialistic bastard!

At this point, you were waiting for them to start pulling on each other’s pigtails to fuel all of the fanfiction people were writing about them. You very pointedly suggested seats that put them far enough to avoid physical violence. “No glaring at the dinner table.” They still continued to provoke each other, but at that point you’re glad they’re not making a scene.

No, you wouldn’t let Yoosung play a handheld at the table. Mostly because you forgot yours and wanted him to suffer with you. You said that talking with everyone can be fun too.

“Well… playing video games with everyone would be even better!”

For the love of…

“Especially when I wreck you,” Seven snickered, poking Yoosung’s face.

Of course he took the bait. “What?! No way, I’ll totally own you! Name the game and the time!”

“Mario Kart, an hour before your curfew, you cute widdle baby~” You hadn’t realized a person could literally talk in tildes, and then there was Seven.

“You’re barely older than me!”

Oops, maybe Jumin and Zen weren’t the only ones who needed to be separated.

You told them you’d wreck them both decided to be the adult here.

But, that’s right! Jaehee was here! This woman was a godsend, able to wrangle the most intimidating of business reports into submission! And she knew judo? Hell yeah! You could count on everything remaining under control with this badass at the helm!

…she looked so exhausted though. That’s right, it had taken a lot of convincing (both for her and Jumin) to escape paperwork hell. And you were going to enlist her help in babysitting all of these dorks? Oh, you couldn’t do that to this poor soul. Mama Jaehee needed a night off too.

“I don’t understand why we are eating here. I have chefs at home who would cook whatever dish you desired.”

“I swear, every time you open your mouth, I have to ask myself whether going to jail is worth it! It gets harder each time!”

“Ohoho, that’s what she said~”

“Seven, come on, that one’s not even clever…”

“Clever girl~”

“Don’t.”

Jumin was describing the fancier, more expensive lunch he had earlier that day with Elizabeth the 3rd. Zen was trying to ignore him, caught a waitress’ eye across the restaurant, and nearly made her run into a doorframe with a smile-wink-combo. Yoosung was “sneakily” playing his game under the table, and you let him because he promised to give you a turn. You didn’t notice Seven had stolen everyone’s napkins to make origami cats until his army was being sent to capture the entire table.

When your order was finally taken you asked if someone would drive you home later, and after being offered cars and a rocketship and even a piggyback ride, it’s Jaehee that inquired, “But, why do you ask?”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“Ah,” she responded. Then she added a drink to her order too. “Same,” she thought.

Zen is all for this development! “Well, you can count me in, babe. I just hope you don’t get too handsy with me, or I won’t be able to contain the beast…” Cue more winking.

Deadpan, Jumin responded, “Are you rabid? A beast that presents a safety hazard to society should be put down.”

“Wahh,” Yoosung cut in, “can we please not talk about putting down animals?!”

“Yeah!” Seven stood up. “Don’t! Talk about! Sad things! Around! The baby!” And he clapped for each pause, this man was a living breathing meme and there was no stopping him. So much for not making a scene.

As Yoosung argued about not being a baby, Jaehee accepted the wine glass handed her and downed it in one go. Zen was impressed. And he wasn’t going to be outdone, but then he started choking.

“Children,” she muttered.

“Yeah,” you agreed, an exasperated smile growing. “But they’re all my children, so.”

What a wonderful, dysfunctional family you had.

When Seven tried to ruin the moment with Bee movie quotes, you told them all, “But if you guys don’t cut the shit out, I swear to god I’m going to hang out with that Unknown guy because at least he seems to have some chill.”

“What the fuck,” Unknown blurted out, hiding in a nearby ficus.

11. “Dear Diary, …”

.

The moment you heard Seven start cackling, you knew you were going to regret inviting him over.

Regret turned to horror when he began, voice loud and singsong, “ ‘Dear Diary, today I actually cleaned up the apartment!’ ”

He was standing in your living room, on your sofa, with his shoes on, reading out of your personal diary, and you didn’t even care if you didn’t get away with his murder.

“ ‘But! Hold your applause! Because I also… put on people clothes! And I look pretty damn fine, if I do say so myself–’ ”

You lunged. He leapt over the back, whooping with glee. The chase was on!

Once you managed to convince him to skirt around the couch, you tried to leap over it just as dramatically, and faceplanted - thankfully on the cushions, but still, that hurt your dignity. And then he was sitting on your back, effectively preventing you from getting up and clobbering him.

“Seven! Get off!”

“ 'I hope you’re not a police officer, Diary, because I’ve got Fine written all over me!’ Aww, there’s even a little winkie face! Ooh, is that a list of pick-up lines I see? Were you waiting to use these on little ol’ me?”

“Seven, I mean it–”

“ 'You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.’ Ooh, that one’s old but gold.”

“SEVEN, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU–”

“ 'Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.’ Ah, I’m swooning! Take me, MC, I’m yours!”

With a full-body heave, you launched the man off of you and into the coffee table. It broke. Thankfully, you wouldn’t have to worry about paying V back for breaking it if you were locked away for second-degree murder.

“They’re pick-up lines, not throw-down lines–ouch!”

“Give it back!”

“Ahh, don’t hurt me, master! OW okay that one really hurt.”

“Then stop being a brat and let go–”

“And lose this comedic gold? God Seven will never let this go! I must spread this gospel!”

“AGH I’M NOT YOOSUNG OKAY I WILL END YOU!”

Some time later, after you’d reclaimed your property and handled the irritated police officer called out from noise complaints, Seven came out of your kitchen to find you still pouting on the sofa.

“I hate you,” you moaned.

“Your complaint has been filed and sent to God Seven, and–” He lifted his arms to form an “x” in front of him, declaring, “Hate denied! You must forgive him and smile!”

“Not a chance.”

“Come onnnn…”

“Go away.”

He brought a hand to his chin, as if contemplating a serious matter. Eventually, he nodded several times to himself, then made a pose he had literally ripped from the anime you two were watching earlier.

“Then you leave me no choice! I will have to use… my secret weapon!”

You arched an eyebrow.

Grinning, he sang, “You can come with me to see Elly~”

“…are you suggesting I join you in hacking through Jumin’s security, sneaking past all of his bodyguards, and breaking into his home, to pet his cat?”

“Someone sounds interested…”

You stared.

Hard.

“…dammit Seven, why do you know me so well?”

You threw a pillow at him when he mimicked Karin’s pose and laugh from Street Fighter V.

Kind of like how Jumin threw the two of you out that evening. He was seriously considering the restraining order this time.

These got so out of hand so fast ahaha. Hope they’re mildly entertaining?