#i actually asking for help i need this
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part 4 of a lot funnier in my head than on paper
#before anyone asks its not a series the part 4 is a joke dont go looking#the solver granted me this mental image#definitely not at the right skill level to draw it correctly but i did good enough#nori forgetting her ipod in space and then needing n to launch her into orbit to get it back#yknow now that im actually stopping to think about it v would be the only one of the two in functioning order at this point#or they just waited for n to regen and then forced him to do this#we both know n is fully capable of punting nori into orbit#something something stupid mutt#my hatred for this is growing the more i look at it im gonna finish off the tags#art#murder drones#murder drones n#murder drones nori#murder drones uzi#murder drones flesha#i guess#or#murder drones cyn#serial designation n#one day ill be able to draw n in a way i like#noris text box is supposed to be a rose it did not come out looking like a rose#i dont know how to draw roses help
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it is so not fair....that's I don't know how to draw male bodies and masculine features correctly.....when I have tHAT MANY CHARACTER X PERSONA THINGS IN MY HEAD. I NEED TO SEE THEM ON PAPER. I WANT TO LOOK AT IT. NOT DISGRACE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS WITH MY MEDIOCRITY. HELP. FR IM ASKING FOR ANY AND EVERY LICK OF HELP I CAN GET. THIS SACRILEGE SHALL NOT GO ON ANY LONGER.
I wanna be able to touch my thoughts and it's not working. how do I download the "draw men right" software into my hands? what's the update? me wants it. me needs it.
#😭😭😭😭#its pure torture#i can't just besmirch their glorious visage with my sorry excuse for phalanges#they wont do right#i want to draw my self inserts with my faves is that TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR????#i need comfort sometimes and i dont have the skill level to do so#i actually asking for help i need this#i ocs and inserts deserve to be shown#i got women down to a science but men elude me. WHY.#what did i do to deserve this?
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Grass is green, water is wet, and Jonathan Byers does not like Steve Harrington.
These are known facts in the universe.
Computers were going to take over the world, a “mobile” phone was being invented, and Steve Harrington had lost most of his hearing.
These were unknown facts--rumors even, if you will. Eddie had never seen even a grain of truth to support any of them.
(Well, maybe the computer thing, but only because Grant and Dustin both had made a couple of convincing arguments.)
So he doesn’t think about it, when his freshman gang up on him.
Doesn’t even factor the “can’t hear well” thing in, when he was tasked (demanded, whined, bitched and moaned at) with helping them explain to Steve why going to the release party of the new D&D box set, located at a hobby store only a mere 2 hour drive away, was important.
Eddie’s not even sure how the little shits got him to agree to do it until he’s standing in the parking lot in front of the former King himself.
“The store’s leading up to the release with a handful of one-shots.” He’s explaining, unsure whether to pull out the bored act or play up his court jester persona, and thus mixing and matching on the fly.
He does not care if Harrington doesn’t know what a one-shot is.
“They’re releasing the set at midnight. You have to be there to get it though, you can’t have someone else pick it up for you because they only got a certain amount in.”
Harrington’s frowning (no surprise) but it’s not until Eddie is well into his spiel about how his van is already full with the elder members of Hellfire, and thus has no room for the freshmen, that he realizes Steve isn’t quite looking at him.
Is in fact, looking over his shoulder.
Eddie stops. Follows Harrington’s gaze.
Parked across from Steve’s Beemer, is Jonathan Byer’s barely working clunker car.
A handful of steps in front of it, and thus nearly right behind Eddie, is the man himself.
His hands are still moving, mouth shaping words silent as he goes, his gaze locked not on Eddie or the kids--but on Steve.
Who turns back around as Harrington’s eyes slide right back to him.
“And this is taking place next Friday?” He says, in that sort of annoyed but resigned way parents aim at their children. “After school?”
“I’d like to go during school, but the freshmen insist you wouldn’t let them ditch out.” Eddie tells him. “They had two separate arguments about it.”
Loud ones, that had interrupted the game and given Eddie a migraine.
Once again Steve’s eyes slide away from him, to Jonathan.
“They’re not skipping school.” He says suddenly, a glare forming and Jonathan makes an annoyed noise.
“They argued about skipping, they’re not going to.” He says aloud, and finally steps up so that he’s next to Eddie instead of behind him.
“Munson slow down, I can’t sign as fast as you’re talking.” He adds, in the hang-dog grumble he’s notorious for.
Eddie stares at him.
“Can he seriously not hear me?”
“No.” Steve and Jonathan answer together.
“I can kind of still hear,” Steve adds, gaze returning to Eddie’s face. “But its more loud music or noises. I can lip read, but you’re also talking too fast for that.”
Without pausing, he turns back to Jonathan and says; “Why can’t you take them?”
“It’s Friday.” Byers deadpans.
Eddie’s not an expert on sign language, but his hands somehow looked deadpan too.
He’s not sure how Jonathan did that.
“So?” Steve snarks back.
What follows is an argument that Eddie is not, at all involved in, mostly because he’s too busy handling the fact that Jonathan Byers has learned sign language, for Steve Harrington, apparently, and given the tone the argument is taking they still don’t even like each other.
Eventually the argument ends, Steve throwing his hands in the air and demanding that Jonathan owes him.
(Eventually Eddie will corner the ever so quiet Will Byers and ask why the hell his brother learned sign language for someone he clearly fucking hates.
“Oh they don’t hate each other.” Baby Byers would say, in that shy, quiet way of his. “I think they’re actually friends now?”
“You think?”
“Well--you’ve seen them.” Will shrugs. “I think being mean to each other is kinda their thing.”
‘What the hell.’ Eddie would think, right up until he stumbled across one of the kids sign language books.
Byers the Elder, he decides, isn’t the only person who should learn sign language to chew out Harrington properly.
The pay off is immediate.
Or at least, the pay off of watching Steve’s shocked face the first time Eddie signs something vulgar at him is, anyway.)
#you can read this as#stonathan#or as#steddie#or as all three idc LOL#steven harrington#eddie munson#jonathan byers#I am once again back on my shit of Jonathan and Steve having THEE most antagonistic friendship#just constantly slinging insults and being low key mean to each other#and then Jonathan just casually signing the same way the party does to help Steve out once his hearing really starts to go#very much#“Youre a fucking dick and I hate you but also youre family and included”#eddie is BAFFLED#but is equally quick to jump on that bandwagon#0o0 fanfics#if asked Jonathans excuse as to why he learned sign language is so he can make sure Steve is properly hearing him talk shit about him#very “he needs to know hes wrong” vibes#Nancy and robin sigh very dramatically about it#Steve can actually read jonathan's lips the easiest/clearest and refuses to tell anyone that#but Jonathan somehow knows anyway
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Couldn’t stop thinking about Dust being able to pass as Classic. So I had an idea where Dust replaces Classic in a timeline and steals(?) his partner.
He gets conflicted when he starts actually caring about you… But denial is an easy road to take when there’s seemingly no consequences to your actions.
The reveal i guess. Most normal reaction to learning your partners been replaced for god knows how long and you have no clue where he is.
Now that I think about it I might’ve gotten some inspiration from that one chapter of IJAG by @htsan (iykyk) only a lil bit tho
(Full rambling of the idea + extra sketch cuz i liked the expression) ↓���
I originally wanted y/n to notice the differences instantly but i think it would be angstier if they didn’t and only noticed like months later >:3
#hoodies are hard#i need to practice more#hrmmm#also i guess the new sona is staying#lol#theres much more to this but basically dust gets attached#he was not prepared to get attached (dumbass lmao)#you may ask ‘oh he can just kill them why does he look so scared?’#hes scared of losing them#hes selfish#theres so much angst potential here hehehoo#the idea of sans just being trapped in a basement unable to teleport out for whatever reason… help him…#dust trying to get information out of him about y/n while taunting him about how easy he is to replace#but theres also a funny side to it cuz like. ‘hey whats your favorite movie again?’ ‘Very funny sans#You know what my favorite movie is…’#Dust who has no fucking clue: ‘ehehe yeah i know im just joking’ *hes actually freaking out a bit on the inside*#sans#dust sans#my beloved#my beloathed#sans x self insert#sans x reader#sans x you#undertale au#fic idea#prolly a oneshot#leafs art#replaced au
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As per usual, it’s DP crossover with (probably) DC, although you could probably adjust it for other fandoms
ANYWAYS
A little kid and his mother are trick or treating in another city, perhaps at some kind of event rather than knocking on doors, and the kid is dressed as Phantom. It’s very adorable, with his little ghost-shaped bucket and clearly homemade and already stained costume—listen, white only works if you can just fly over street grime or phase it out of your clothes—and his slightly I’ll fitting wig. The kid is SO happy to be out and about dressed as his favorite, and maybe even showed it off to Phantom back in Amity Park before his family left.
The hero, insert whoever you wish here, is probably in civvies and just enjoying the event. The kid, meanwhile, is so glad when people ask who he is so he can explain, and so- the hero gets to hear ALL ABOUT the local town hero who is probably pretty small time despite the kid’s clearly exaggerated stories. The hero certainly never heard of him, but the kid’s mom confirms that Phantom really was the town hero, despite some mixed reviews of the poor guy.
“Did you manage to show him your costume?” the hero asks.
“Yeah! We went down to the cemetery to leave flowers and I got to show him my costume.”
Wait. Cemetery? Maybe it was part of theme, because Phantom had to be named that for a reason, but… it sounded like…
The kid ignores the suddenly VERY still hero and instead turns to his mom. “Momma, do you think we should bring him candy? He doesn’t get to trick or treat like we do, and I can work super hard to get him a bunch!”
The kid’s mom just smiles. “We could, but maybe we should bring him something homemade. I bet he’d like something more filling, teen boys like him have a hollow leg.”
The kid wrinkles his nose. “Like Vernie with the pizza bagels?”
“Like your cousin, yes. We can make some cinnamon rolls and take them to his memorial, maybe bring some of the apples from your grandpa’s garden…”
The hero is pretty much forgotten as the two-part family wanders off, not quite intentionally forgetting the hero is there so much as the hero somewhat accidentally ended the conversation when they just froze and didn’t ask anything further.
Not that the hero didn’t want to. But they’d learn something very serious.
One—there was a small town hero they’d never heard of. Two—that hero was apparently a teen. Third—most pressingly, the teen hero was both beloved enough to have kids dressing up as him and dead enough to have a grave.
This… might require some phone calls.
#dpxdc#danny phantom crossover#meanwhile Danny. sitting on a giant marble slab that has the most ridiculous gag gifts a ghost could ever ask for#he’s just like Oh Sweet Cinnamon Rolls!#he would try to convince people to bring him nasty burger but while val has MOSTLY gotten over her vindictive anger at Phantom DOES decide#that she’s gonna be petty and add cilantro to everything#because Danny has the cilantro soap gene#jokes on her he’ll still eat it#Danny likes his little memorial in the grave. it helps settle him sometimes. also he’s gotten to know the security guards for the cemetery#they’re fun. a bit morbid. they LIKE his jokes so you can stuff it JAZZ#MEANWHILE the hero. Whomstever they are but like 90% of you are thinking either batfam or Justice league#are having just. a TOUCH of a crisis#now they gotta figure out where the kid and his mom are from without either of them figuring out#dealer’s choice on what the GIW and why Amity Park isn’t on the radar#I’ll add my two cents bc when don’t I but I’m by and large not like… dictating this? anyways#I like making the GIW just a BIT more incompetent or just having some massive flaws as an organizational group#so they keep forgetting to tell people to not LEAVE and to keep quiet#average amity Parker if the GIW tried this anyways: aw that’s cute. anyways-#and if it’s dc I guess you need to figure out how the jl never found out. so#i mean there’s a LOT of heroes and cities in dc#and amity park is just lost to the noise or. bc Fenton bad luck#every time Danny tried to call. the jl had some insane disaster and or their systems were down#he eventually figured he might actually be cursed- jury’s still out on that -and he’s saving lives by just handling it himself#he can handle rhe metaphorical mega thunderstorms if it means he doesn’t accidentally summon a fucking tsunami to hit the planet ya know?#the kid and the mom have no idea that what they said was Odd#they are just so used to it. amity park already was using death puns and had an. interesting history and relation with death#even BEFORE there was a dead kid flying around in his white gogo boots
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thinking of a new steddie fic/au hmmm.
It’s just the classic, Steve buys weed from Eddie in season 1 era, he and Tommy meet him at the bench in the woods behind school. Steve and Eddie have some playful banter and clearly get along, but it’s dismissed as just a drug deal and they go on about their lives.
Next time they meet is when a frantic Steve comes and finds Eddie after he’s just fought off the demogorgon for the first time. He’s rattled, and skittish, wearing a nasty black bruise on his eye, and just overall not acting like himself. He snaps at Eddie multiple times to just ‘hurry up’ and ‘get him his stuff’, and sure he’s being an asshole, but more than anything Eddie is just concerned. He has never seen The King Steve Harrington lose his cool like this. So Eddie cautiously gives him the weed, making sure not to give too much, and lets him go about his day, but not before asking if he’s alright. Steve clearly wasn’t expecting this and brushes it off defensively, but that doesn’t mean he’s not thinking about it for the rest of his week. How the hell did Eddie Munson notice something was wrong, when his own parents didn’t? Nor his “friends”?
They cross paths again a year later, the beginning of season two. Steve is still with Nancy and has freshly dumped his old douchebag crew of superficial friends. He is still sitting quite comfortably on the higher ranks of popularity, but there is no denying his status is not what it used to be. He comes to buy weed from Eddie in the first week back at school, and it’s a casual interaction. He’s still as charmingly stuck up as he ever was, but now without Tommy there to judge his every move, he seems a little more at ease when making casual conversation with Eddie. Eddie doesn’t mention the year before and Steve is so glad for it, secretly very embarrassed that he went to Eddie for some refuge after arguably his most traumatic experience to date. He gets his stuff, giving Eddie a smirk when he notices he’s dropped the price significantly for Steve when it’s just him alone. Eddie gives him a challenging smile back, almost daring him to call it out, but he doesn’t. They both just laugh and part ways.
The next run in is tina’s halloween party. They notice eachother when Steve first arrives, making eye contact and giving a polite nod. Maybe Eddie lifts his drink up to Steve in a silly salute. They don’t speak at all or make any effort to hang around eachother. That is, until Steve storms down the stairs in a rage after he’d gone up there with Nancy Wheeler. But then are those- tears? Eddie was standing on the front porch smoking a cigarette, trying to discreetly hide from one Billy Hargrove to avoid having to sell him anything, but staying visible enough that he won’t lose all chances of making any money tonight. Steve storms right past him and hits his shoulder. Eddie whips around and is about to call him a dick before he sees who it is.
Steve tries to quickly wipe his face, he won’t make eye contact with Eddie, and he’s clearly trying to get out as fast as he can. Eddie doesn’t let him, though, since he’s obviously not thinking very clearly and is most likely about to do something emotional and stupid. He asks if Steve’s alright, and his answers are all short and rushed, so he’s definitely not. They’re not really friends, but Eddie’s not an asshole.
— “Did you drive?” Eddie asks
“Yeah”
“Well, you’re drunk, Steve. You can’t get behind a wheel right now. And if I knowingly let you, then that makes me an accomplice. I’ll take you home.”
Steve tries to protest, attempting to push past him, but Eddie interjects. “Yeah, yeah, alright! Don’t thank me yet, Steve’o. This is not for you, see, I’m not trying to get a criminal record, here. I cant go to prison, Steve. Do you know what they’d do to a pretty guy like me in prison? Nope, let’s go hot stuff.” —
Eddie takes Steve home. They don’t talk much. By the time they reach Steve’s drive way and Eddie has put his van in park, Steve is making no attempt to exit the vehicle just yet. Eddie doesn’t know what to do, he didn’t really plan this far, so he’s just tapping away awkwardly at his steering wheel while Harrington stares down the dashboard so clearly lost in thought Eddie fears his head might explode. Steve tells Eddie what happened, says it’s ‘relationship troubles’, and he’s not quite sure what compelled him into being so honest with Eddie Munson, but he’s blaming the alcohol. Eddie wasn’t expecting that. They chat for a bit, Eddie makes Steve laugh and considers the whole night a success after that. Then they start cracking jokes about their shared hatred for Hargrove, and Steve looks and sounds a bit more ok to go inside. He thanks Eddie, quite sincerely actually, and it throws him a bit. He stutters a ‘yeah, for sure. It’s no problem.’ And Steve goes home.
After that, it’s a little different. Steve, doesn’t actually really have anyone, anymore. When they go back to school he’s now greeting Eddie here and there in the hallways, making conversation when they find themselves alone together, in the lunch line or at the bathroom sink. He doesn’t approach Eddie when there’s too many people around, though. As much as he’s grown, Steve Harrington still carry’s some prejudice in him about how certain things may make him look. But it doesn’t bother Eddie too much. It’s not like they are really friends, they’re just like, strange acquaintances. And Steve would never deny that they get along, that really Eddie’s ‘not so bad’. So that’s a win.
Steve finds Eddie again not long after the party to buy some more weed, a plan that sparked purely out of boredom. Eddie says yes, of course, but tells him if he wants it today he will need to wait till after school and meet Eddie at his place, since he was busy. So Steve takes a trip to the Munson trailer to make his deal. Eddie invites him inside and they sit together on the couch as he gets Steve’s bag ready. They end up making quite pleasant conversation, joking around and ultimately finding they are really enjoying each other’s company. They enjoy it so much so, that Steve ends up smoking there, with Eddie. So now they are kind of like, hanging out? And it’s fun, so they do it again. Still they’re not, friends friends, they just get along. Eddie just sells Steve weed sometimes and they keep it civil.
He doesn’t hear from Steve for a while, and the next time he sees him it’s from a distance, in passing. The man has the most roughed up face Eddie has ever seen, bruised and swollen in multiple areas, stitches and bandages all over. It’s really, concerning? completely metal, but alarming. This is the second time Eddie has seen the guy all beaten up like that. He knew that boys fight, but surely not that bad? As worried as he was, Eddie doesn’t approach him to ask questions, because they don’t know eachother like that. So he goes on about his day, and he doesn’t see Steve again after that for quite some time.
Then it’s summer, Eddie isn’t graduating again, and he’s not really sure what to do with himself over the break. The new mall has just opened up, and there’s a cool music store up on the second floor that he likes to visit sometimes with his band friends. And wouldn’t you know, working at the Scoops Ahoy located directly across from his favourite store, is Steve Harrington. The guy hasn’t come to Eddie for any weed since last year, and then there was that sighting where he looked like he’d just fallen face first into a flying fist or two, so it’s been a minute since Eddie’s seen him. And he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a nice surprise. He only goes into scoops once. He’s curious, okay? Sue him. And, he knows the girl who works with him, Robin. So he plays it off like he had no idea he’d see Steve there. And to his surprise, Steve actually acknowledges him. He doesn’t act like Eddie is a total stranger just because they’re not in school anymore. The interaction is quick, they make very casual conversation, Eddie says hi to Robin, grabs his milkshake and goes home. That’s all. He doesn’t go back, and he doesn’t really plan to. Steve’s nice, and he knows Eddie’s around if he needs to buy from him again, and that’s really as far as their relationship goes. That’s all it ever was. It’s been fun getting to know Steve Harrington a little bit better, even if it was just for a short time. Eddie liked having the chance to see in past the quaffed hair and pressed polo shirts to learn that Steve was really just a person under it all. He never thought he’d say it, but Harrington wasn’t so bad. It was a nice little eye opening experience for Eddie.
Eddie was ready to write off his little blips of interaction with Steve Harrington as a thing of the past, no hard feelings, and move on with his life. That is, until he gets a knock at his front door in the middle of the night afew days after the big mall fire. And it’s Steve on the other side. And he looks awful, his face is the worst Eddie’s ever seen it. And he wasn’t really knocking, more like pounding. He says he needs Eddie’s help.
What the fuck?
#and then he#he asks eddie for help getting really strong drugs oit of your system#and if he knows if there’s anything out there that can have long lasting affects on your system#and if he can please have some weed too actually so he can sleep because maybe that will help#because please give me more paranoid steve not just moving on right away from being fuckinh drugged non consensually !!!#i need to see season 3 steve going to eddie for help after the russians because he doesn’t know anywhere else#and eddie is just like what the actual fuck is this man on about ????#what the hell goes on in the harrington household that causes him to get a black eye annually#and now be rambling about getting drugged????#eddie getting so curious about what is actually going on with him#ugh#anyways might write this proper oooh what do we think#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie#robin buckley#st3#stranger things 2#stranger things 3#steve and eddie#steddie fic#steddie au
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made a quick animation HEAVILY inspired by this post by @signanothername , i liked the idea too much, hope u dont mind-
havent drawn skeletons for years now
#utmv#killer sans#color sans#nightmare sans#something new au#othertale#dreamtale#color x killer#i think#killer!sans#killertale#this is so sketchy help i was rushing#at least i like how mare looks here#i really hope its ok that i didnt ask#i was justlike omfg i need to draw this RIGHT NOW#im so embarrassed#utmv au#undertale au#my art#was listening to nastyona while making this#hits different actually
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Ghostly Host AU
So! Ghosts need a physical Anchor in the living world, or they are liable to fall apart and fade away if they stay for too long.
In Amity Park, this usually isn't too much of a problem. Sure most Ghosts can't stay for a week without a Host, but the ambient Ecto-Levels in Amity Park are enough that they can stay for a few days or so at a time with little worry.
This changes however, during Reign Storm.
When Pariah Dark awakens, Tens of Thousands of Ghosts use the Fenton Portal to escape the Rule of Pariah Dark, running away into the Human Realm.
If Amity Park had stayed where it was, this would have been fine. They could have stayed in the Living Realm for a few days, and maybe the Weaker ones would need to find a temporary Host, but that was fine since Amity was filled with thousands of Liminals.
Unfortunately, Pariah Darks first move was to suck Amity Park into the Ghost Zone, alongside all of the Ecto-Energy that had accumulated there.
Now left trapped in the Living Realm with no way back to the Zone, thousands of Ghosts suddenly needed Hosts or they would start dying off by the Hundreds. In a Panic, they spread out across the Planet in search of viable Hosts.
Any normal Person wouldn't do, they needed a Living Being that could actually handle their Power, or someone who matched their Soul. Preferably both. Liminals were the best since they had a durable Body and a Malleable Soul, so any Ghost could use any of them as a Host.
But outside of Amity Liminals were very rare, and finding someone who matched their Soul was time-consuming and hard. Thankfully, in recent years the population of Aliens, Metahumans, Enhanced Soldiers, and even extra durable baseline Humans had spiked across the world.
All across the planet, People suddenly found themselves stuck with a new Passenger in their Bodies.
Those new passengers thankfully weren't malicious, for the most part, but it was still annoying. The only good thing was that they now had new Powers, which neat.
They could summon the Ghosts in their Body outwardly, and then command the Ghost to use their Powers in whatever way they wanted. Only other Hosts could see another person's Ghost, which meant they looked very awkward to normal people when they fought. Generally, Hosts seemed to act more strangely after getting a Ghost, as if they lost a few of their Inhibitions.
Why did they feel the sudden need to strike a flamboyant Pose? Or over dramatically scream?
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Host AU#Ghostly Host AU#Tens of Thousands of Ghosts were suddenly released onto the world in desperate need of Host Anchors to survive#Not all of them survived long enough to find one#The Ghosts basically act as Stands#That's basically the main reason I made this#I wanted to make a Jojo's reference#The Ghosts mostly end up in Hosts that suit them the most#Spectra ended up with Hugo Strange#Skulker ended up with Deathstroke#Ember ended up with Black Canary#Johnny and Kitty actually got seperate#Kitty was stuck in the Ghost Zone when it all happened while Johnny was stuck in the Human World#Johnny ended up with Jason Todd#Kitty asked for help in finding him and ended up bonding with Jazz again so they can search#You can see where thats going#Danny is his own Host as a Halfa so he is fine#Sam becomes the unwilling Host of Undergrowth#Tucker becomes Host of his own Past Lives somehow#Who would end up with Superman? He would be a sought after Host by virtue of his fame#You know what would be funny?#Box Ghost ends up with Superman#Lunch Lady ends up with Lois Lane cause for some reason she is a good enough Host
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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Everyday I exist and every day I get more and more exhausted seeing the “lol Batman looks at Danny and goes “who’s gonna adopt this kid” He’s so adoptable!” posts.
#bones rants#bones speaks#dpxdc#bones writes in the tags#i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again#GIVE AN ACTUAL REASON FOR BRUCE TO WANT TO ADOPT DANNY!#this man had seen thousands of black hair and blue eyed kids in misfortunate situations and with backstories parallel to his own#so why is Danny the exemption and is the person he puts under his (bat)wing#make a reason and make it compelling. I understand forwarding a plotline to get to the scene you envisioned#but making a character one dimensional ain’t it man.#always ask why Danny is the exemption to the other thousands of kids who could’ve gone under Bruce’s wing. Bruce is a very paranoid person#and doesn’t bring people into his inner circle easily. offering a complete stranger a room in his home could happen#maybe he then relates to Danny and wants to help him with his need for Justice#and THEN adopts him but man oh man. look at all of the robins adoptions.#that shit wasn’t willy nilly and it had actual weight behind the adoptions
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finally has gotten around to finish gtn act i and dude Harrow is 17.. Gideon keeps describing this satan incarnate super duper evil person then line drops something like she looks young and frail and shes actually short and emo and she teared up when she left her tomb of a planet what a loser
AND YOU WANT ME TO HATE HER????
THIS IS MY FIRST READ PLZ INTERACT WITH NO SPOILERS
#The locked tomb#tlt#gtn#Like i know she makes your life a living hell but have you considered shes tiny and young and a little bit off kilter?#Their banter is so cute i love gideon stupid chivalrous NAIVE SO HELPFUL NATURE#the house of Canaan want your ass girl be fr#Gideon the ninth#i love harrow judgey attitude god i need something from her pov sooo bad#But ig thats reserved for book 2#Rambles#Also plz dont ask why it took 11 days i actually Only Started today so
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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Something I really like about timebomb is that Ekko actually knows what he's getting into.
I'm not really seeing it get talked about but in season 1 they mention that Ekko and the firelights help people addicted to shimmer get off it and lead more fulfilling lives within the community. I should probably rewatch the scene for the exact wording (might be misremembering tbh) but that comment implies A LOT.
First: Ekko's mission is helping people where he can, he would probably try and help Jinx even if he wasn't in love with her
Second: He has experience dealing with severe mental illness as that often goes hand in hand with drug abuse, namely depression/suicidal ideation like what Jinx was exhibiting
Third: He's probably mapped out best course of action FOR dealing with this and has already figured out his own limits/boundaries. Meaning he knew what he was getting into trying to talk Jinx out of suicide, and was thus more equipped to deal with the aftermath
Fourth: He's probably helped ex members of Silco's gang. The firelights seem to have a theme of healing and repairing and recovering, so they've probably also learned to forgive. If they're mission is to rebuild the lanes into a safe space, they can't exclude people they don't like, they have to make room for them. I think they fought Silco out of necessity, and I doubt Jinx would be the first person they help who's killed one of them.
These all might be a bit of a stretch but I think it really fits. Beyond that, it shows that Ekko can ACTUALLY help Jinx. As much as unconditional love can do, Ekko has the tools for Jinx's recovery and a path ready for her. He also probably knows that her "healthy" will look different from AU Powder's "healthy." On top of that, I expect he knows how to respect her even in the middle of psychotic breaks and won't agitate her already frail mental state
#if you would like to (respectfully) disagree with me I'll GLADLY talk with you. I can think of nothing but Arcane atm#timebomb#ekko arcane#putting it in the tags bc I want to let people agree with my timebomb takes without having to listen to my other ship opinions#uh on that note I have some Caitlyn and Vi opinions that go a bit hand in hand with this#but I think that in contrast Caitlyn and Vi are mutually self destructive#see neither of them seem to make the others mental health... better.#Vi is desperate and needs love wherever she can get it#and Caitlyn... I'm not sure. I have a hard time reading her but a lot of the vibes I get off her feel like she just likes having the power#over vi#I KNOW THAT'S A STRONG CLAIM#hear me out#Vi in her search for unconditional love does a lot of enabling#a good example is when Caitlyn arrests that henchman in episode 3(?)#Vi is VISIBLY uncomfortable with that and for good reason!#Caitlyn just locked someone up for life for... nothing?#kinda like Marcus did to her (yes Marcus was trying to protect her but I doubt that's how Vi sees it)#but Vi doesn't voice this or push Caitlyn on it#instead she asks Caitlyn not to change#not great communication on Vi's part#but also indicative of how little their values align#and how little Caitlyn actually considers Vi and her problems and history#Caitlyn doesn't help Vi heal and she turns on Vi the second Vi stops enabling her and letting Caitlyn do as she thinks is best#neither of them are ready to deal with the others problems or communicate well#again. willing to discuss this. my opinions are swayable.#I just personally found Caitlyn made the most sense and was most compelling when she was going down facist dictator path#sure she could be more but I don't think the show ever really transitioned her away from that#you can see it in the way she treats Maddy#hhhhhh I should go to bed rather than spill every last thought I've ever had
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Beloved Residents of Dirtmouth (And Quirrel 👍)
#hollow knight#elderbug#bretta hollow knight#bretta hk#sly hollow knight#sly hk#zote the mighty#zote hk#hollow knight nymm#nymm hk#hollow knight quirrel#quirrel hk#confessor jiji#my art#fanart#Oh the folks Dirtmouth; how you are able to enrich hope into such a bleak setting#Also hiiiiii I'v been replaying Hollow Knight recently!! I'm already at 20+ hours pfffff#And as a result I simply must draw the characters of the humble game I cherish so much hehe#This has also filled my mind with bees of various headcanons I've just made or I've had for a awhile but never shared#Major one I've had: Quirrel has deform lower arms; he was simply born with them and they don't do harm to his person#They can get in the way and get cut easily; so they're often bandaged for safety#+ Quirrel needs a cane/leg braces to help him walk because of serve leg damage caused by his overexertion while wearing Monomon's mask#In summary; the mask made is so his mind ignored the pain rather than actually get rid of it#Resulting in Quirrel never getting the *true* rest he needed for certain expeditions#He knew that risk and warning before but he forget later after his journey away from Hallownest#And for funnies: Bretta is a hypocephalus armatus!! Finding refs of them was quite the challenge so I hope I got the overall feel down#They have funky little back legs I don't think I quite captured here but the effort was fun!#I have way more for the other characters here but for now I shall have my mouth sealed until asked
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Madoka is the promise you won't turn from a child, full of hopes and dreams and the wish to save the world, into a bitter adult who just wants to hurt others and ruin people's lives
Madoka promised to be there for you to remind you of the person you wanted to be and to stop you from becoming what you sought to destroy
Madoka made that promise and became the very embodiment of it
#Moon posting#Feeling emotional about Madoka Magica all out of the blue and I'm making it your problem#IDK I saw a video in my YT reccs ranking Doremi toys and I really enjoyed it (sadly can't remember who it was)#So I went to check what other content the person had made and they had recently-ish done a blind reaction to Madoka#Didn't watch the whole thing just The Good Shit at like double speed (it was completely uncut and I wasn't in the mood for a full rewatch)#And god. The way the fucking ending to this series still makes me fucking sob like a baby EVEN WHEN WATCHING AT DOUBLE SPEED#I dunno what to tell you I really like that series. Like I just do. Madoka is Good Actually#IDK I feel like everyone has a lot of Opinions about the series and all I can say is that y'all are wrong and don't understand it#MADOKA ISN'T ABOUT BEING EDGY GRIMDARK TORTURE PORN!!! IT'S ABOUT HOPE!! AND DREAMS!! AND NOT GIVING UP!!#Y'all remember that post about how sometimes if you need to imagine Naruto encouraging you to help you get out of bed and brush your teeth#Then you imagine that dattebayo#And that is literally what Madoka is.#Except instead of self-care Madoka is there to stop you from being a toxic little dickweed and be nice to others#Sometimes you need to stop and ask: Would Madoka do that? Would Madoka say that? Would she be proud of me right now?#Don't ask me why I'm posting this it is 5 am I should be in bed man
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phenomenon i've noticed about my speech
#i'm able to express my thoughts very well in text bcz im abt to actually see and process what im saying and think about what to say next#so my brain has an easier time keeping track of my train of thought#however when i talk irl i dont have that visual processer to help me#so i have to auditorily process what im saying#also when i talk irl my mouth cant keep up with my brain#and since im just bad at articulating words/speech in general#that alongside my delayed processing skills results in me tripping over my words A LOT#i end up stuttering a bazillion times and needing to backtrack to rearrange my sentences#cin has been listening to epic the musical lately and she asked me to give her a rundown of the story on call today#so i was ATTEMPTING to but the words kept jumbling in my mouth#i repeated words i stuttered and either spoke too fast for me to pronounce shit correctly or had to pause for a moment to recollect myself#i am SO BAD at talking its so embarrassing actually#i wasnt even nervous or anything i just got too excited and couldnt process my thoughts correctly#WHY IS SPEAKING SO DIFFICULT!!!!!#anywhizzle thank u for coming to my tedtalk#my art#tmnt#tmnt mm#tottmnt#mm donnie#tottmnt donnie#donsona#shitpost#<- ig i didnt put that much effort into the doodle
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