#i absolutely do not want to put my mental health in the hands of tumblr users?????

[oblivioustoast]

bro this just does not seem like a great idea..

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "causing" someone's ED? (massive TW obviously)

so i (18x) have a pr0ana sideblog. i say this in the LOOSEST sense of the term; while i interact with pr0ana tags and content, i don't make any myself, and my "platform" is nonexistent. i primarily use the blog as a way to feel less alone since i can't talk about my ED in real life. it's a vent blog. i don't have the name of my sideblog anywhere on my main blog, and vice versa.

a few weeks ago, my good friend (18x) found this sideblog and decided not to tell me. over the next few weeks, we had several conversations about my ED and their dysmorphia (though according to them not a full-fledged ED), all started by them. at one point i promised them that i would try to get just a little better every day, and i do! i do try that constantly! but about ten minutes after saying that i posted something on my sideblog about how paranoid i was about calories or whatever, because yeah i'm trying to get better, but that doesn't mean i magically stop struggling. i also told them i was NOT on pr0ana tumblr or interacting with that sort of content, because i wasn't comfortable sharing that about myself. i didn't know my friend knew about the sideblog at this point.

they dmed me a while after this post to ask why i had lied to their face, or as they put it in a vaguepost on their blog, "made a promise and then turned around and immediately broken it." i got very very frustrated, since i think what i do on the internet is my business, as is my mental health. this definitely reflected in my tone, so i think i was definitely TA, at least initially.

during this conversation, though, they basically said that i needed to talk to them about my emotions and stop hiding them, and that i had to take the hand they were extending. here's where the main problem started. they then said that they considered contacting my mother or friends but decided in the long run it wouldn't be beneficial. my mother is emotionally abusive, which this friend knew, and would absolutely involuntarily hospitalize me if contacted about my ED.

i became extremely angry, both that my friend would have my mother's and friends' contact information in the first place (we met through tumblr and have only met in person ONCE -- i do not, clearly, have their parents' contact information or even their names, and this was not information i volunteered to them) and that they would use it as an ultimatum. at this point i became extremely furious and basically told them to leave me alone because no one who genuinely cared about me would do that, and i didn't understand why my mental illness was seen as something i HAD to overcome if i wanted to avoid getting literally hospitalized by my mother. at this point they told me that i was refusing to accept help and that i was "aestheticizing killing myself." they then blocked me. i was still fucking angry. i never blocked them from my main, but i did block all their accounts from my sideblog and change the url.

they later unblocked me and we tried to remain civil. we never stopped interacting with each other's posts or whatever. they initiated contact a few times, which i ignored. the first instance they initiated contact was sending me a poem they'd written about the situation, which made me feel like shit, and the second time was just saying "hey." i didn't respond either time because i didn't know how.

i saw a vaguepost that they made on their blog yesterday that basically said they were fucking angry that, after an entire lifetime of struggling to avoid developing an ED, the "person they used to be in love with" was the reason they were developing one. it was clearly about me and i felt a rush of shame so overwhelming that i didn't really know what to do with it. i dmed them to tell them that i loved them and i was sorry, that i didn't mean to hurt them, and that i didn't want things to end like they did. reading back over the message now, it feels very "woe is me" (i was crying while writing it), but basically it just involved me apologizing a million times.

i woke up this morning to their response, which was: "are you saying this because you miss me or because you don't have anyone else left? i don't want to be your last choice." i hadn't gone into the conversation with the intention of regaining their close friendship because, frankly, i don't want that. i hadn't gone into it with a goal in mind. a problem i've had with this friend in the past is that they seem to view a lot of interactions and relationships as almost transactional in a way that i don't (demonstrated by their insistence that i had to talk them about my mental health in the first place). i told them this, and told them i just wanted to apologize and that i loved them. they said that they were sorry, too, but that the timing made them "suspicious," i assume because they know i've been extremely depressed and lonely lately (i just moved to college without any of my best friends and have been making vent posts about it on my main personal blog).

i know it wasn't the intention, but it made me feel like they were using my mental illness against me yet AGAIN, and i stopped apologizing. as i'm typing this i'm trying to decide whether to block them. but i feel like shit about the whole thing, because i was responsible for the formation of their ED, and i feel like i should be able to handle whatever anger they have towards me for that without getting my feelings hurt and being petty. i don't know. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[stonedstargazer666]

Stoned Head cannon

So this is gonna be based kinda off of a couple of pictures I saved from twitter and here on good ole Tumblr, earlier this month. well my collection keeps getting larger...Anywho.. Yes, I am baked outta my gourd, this is just gonna be raw writing and I have sat long and hard about this. I'm sorry if I don't tag anything correctly. i'm zooted. Fem terms used. NSFW under photos. (DNI: If the thought of getting your BC messed with if your taking it orally messes with you. )

Ok so you're dating Vessel, right? You get along with the others really well. you bring out a side of them that Vessel rarely sees. Which is fine dandy and wonderful. If it weren't for the fact that the boys are seemingly testing the boundaries with you. Light touches that could easily be brushed off as accidental, brushing the hair out of your face with lingering touches.

Well Vessel sees you just brushing it off, you're confident enough to tell them to back off sure. Brushing their hand away, giving them a glare, or flipping them off with a laugh. You're absolutely loyal to Vessel, perfectly devoted the both of you would say. But gosh, if Vessel didn't want to absolutely claim you. Sure, you two have your fun regularly, but you were on the pill. He didn't know how to bring that up to you, on one hand he loved that you were stern about your health and just wasn't ready for kids.

BUT on the other hand, when you take your placebo week, you get emotional over videos of babies laughing and giggling till they can't breath. Vessel see's how you coo at your phone while laying in bed, earbud in or over ear headphones depending on the vibe you had. listening to the sweet shrieks of laughter, he listens to you talk to yourself how your friend's baby is so cute, when they post pictures. It was a monthly habit that drove him up the wall. Until he read about activated charcoal, and the dangers of it messing with oral birth control... Oh.. well this could be useful information. He better read up on that... ya know just in case....

(NSFW content ahead, continue if you dare)

Now that he has learned about the activated charcoal, he thought that would be perfect. He had been meaning to try out a different way of painting his body. You liked it when he wore the paint in the bedroom, who was he to deny his sweet little dove? On stage it was the normal body paint, but lately in the bedroom...the texture of the paint felt different on your tongue....or...or did it always feel that grainy? You vocalize your concern in a needy whimpering voice, feeling your own hot breath bounce off of his neck. Tongue halfway pressed against the pulse point of his throat.

Vessel rumbles a deep throaty laugh, assuring you that yes it has. for the last month It had. Vessel would hide and put the water activated charcoal on his throat, fingers, hands, chest. ALL of your favorite places to lick, suck on, worship. Mentally Vessel reveled in the fact that he was messing with your birth control. You would be a wonderful mum, and the boys...oh the boys would know who you belonged to. two birds one stone really. But you didn't know this, you didn't need to know that little fact. HE prayed and thanked God that nothing had changed over the past month, nothing that would arise suspicion of what he was doing... The sound of you greedily choking and trying to swallow around his fingers brings him out of his thoughts. He takes a moment to take in the pretty sight. you on the bed, ass up, face down cause you're a good girl yeah? Yeah ,you are, tilting your head to the side. your tongue lavishing his long fingers.

He coos at how pretty you are. A pure work of art, taking his fingers into your mouth so willingly, while also taking him so perfectly into your drooling sex. Vessels eyes zero in on your convulsing throat, moaning audibly feeling you successfully swallow around his fingers without choking or gagging. Oh such a good girl you are, He praises. As you swallow the charcoal, bringing you one step closer to being claimed and owned by him inside and out. With that thought in mind. Vessel pulls his fingers out of your throat. Reaching around to wipe them right over your womb, the striking black pops against your pink warm skin. Almost like a promise, Vessel flips you over onto your back. slowly...so deliciously slowly does he show you what his new healed piercing is capable of. Oh now you really feel it, and you clench hard. Vessel watches the moment you succumb to his slow deep ministrations. He takes a quick moment to make a mental note to thank IVy for the suggestion. Who knew that a Jacobs ladder would be just utter heaven. Vessels thrusts start getting sloppy, and rougher. his hands gripping the fat of hips with a bruising force. His hips stutter as you beg so prettily through tears and desperate moans for him to come inside.

Oh how you sang little dove, your voice cracking as you scream his name. BEgging him to come, your voice is delirious. It's pure unadulterated music to his ears, He slams into you one more time, rutting into your poor bullied cunny, grinding against your swollen nub just right. Your climax hits, your back arching off the bed as you hopelessly grind and roll your hips. Vessel soaks in the sight of the pure pleasure on your face, as he grinds deeper. Seeing a faint bump in your pretty tummy, just underneath the black streaks he left there earlier...

He cums hard, and so much. Poor man, must have been so pent up... but Gods does feel so fucking good to feel his release overflowing, and dripping. But you still whimpered softly about feeling so full Vessel stared at the marking he left, it looked ever so slightly rounder. He wonders if he could maybe talk you into getting it tattooed. Just for him. He slowly pulls out, whispering praises, telling you what a perfect girl you are, gently rubbing your sides. Waiting for you to come down from wherever you floated off too during your climax. Once your breathing evened out to his liking, he got up. Disappearing, just to come back with a soft warm wet wash cloth. Gently cleaning you up, taking a quick picture of the marks. For later reference of course. Then wiping them away, reverently. After cleaning you both, he throws on black sweat pants. Then lovingly wraps you in your favorite soft blanket. The soft sigh you let out lets him know your relaxing, and are comfortable. He picks you up, cradling you close to his warm chest. Walking out to the common area to sit with you in his lap. Showing the other three, that he was the only one that held your heart.

And wouldn't you know it? three weeks later, you tell Vessel that you've been feeling quite strange... Like a weird stomach bug, cause you've been so nauseous lately.... But don't worry, Vessel assures you, you'll start feeling better soon. Just let him take care of you...

[lpsotd]

important announcement part 2: electric boogaloo

greetings tumblr! i haven't made an original post in (i believe) over a month, and i actually didn't plan on making an announcement about my absence at all, for no real reason honestly, i just didn't want to. however, i think i'm correct to assume there's at least a handful of people who have been my curious about my absence, or perhaps wondering why they've noticed a lack of daily littlest pet shops on their dashboard.

this post is going to be long, personal, and serious. i'm going to be talking about myself, my life at the moment, and what i'm going to be doing moving forward.

you can read everything under the cut. i'm providing trigger warnings for suicide and familial death. the first half of this post is where the warnings apply, the other half is about what i'll be doing with this blog and also relates to my internet presence in general.

the latter half of the month of september was extremely taxing on my mental health, the main reason for my mental decline is not something i'm going to touch on here, as it's too personal and there's no reason for me to air out my private business on tumblr.com of all places. all you need to know is that during late september, i was at my worst. i had been trying to push through and continue my life as normal despite the constant turmoil i was in, and i never had the motivation to do anything with myself besides taking a shower, and even then i was rather neglectful of my hygiene. i had plenty of support from those close to me. my mom in particular did her absolute best to make sure i was comfortable and felt loved and cared for, and i did feel that way. however, at this point in my life i was a ticking time bomb and i don't think any one person would've been able to cut any cords to put a stop to the timer.

on september 26th at around 1:45pm, i made an attempt on my life. i'm not sure what it was about that day in particular, but it was then that i decided i didn't want to deal with anything anymore. fortunately for me, i was stupid enough to post what was essentially a suicide note to my main tumblr blog, which friends of mine took notice of. this, of course, worried people and one of my friends called the police to my house. long story short, i spent a day in the hospital and was sent to a psychiatric hospital the following afternoon.

i was in the psychiatric hospital for little less than a week, and if i were to detail my experience here it would make this post at least 3x longer than i intend it to be. (and i do plan on dedicating a large post to it someday) in short, it was an eye-opening experience and i left with a better view on myself as a person. i was discharged on october 3rd and i'm currently in therapy and looking for other methods to help myself.

the doctor at the psychiatric hospital diagnosed me with adjustment disorder with depressed mood, although i'm made to believe i have borderline personality disorder as i get unhealthily attached to people and my entire mood depends on how they interact with me. due to this belief, i'm hesitant to get too close to people because i don't want to risk becoming emotionally attached/dependent on one (1) sole person and my entire mental wellbeing collapsing due to something like us parting ways. so at this moment i'm not sure if i'll ever be able to pursue a romantic relationship.

for the week i've been home, i've been trying to readjust to normal life again after becoming used to the static routine present in the psychiatric hospital. i've found myself becoming easily irritated and overwhelmed by even the slightest bit of noise in my home because the hospital was always so quiet and calm. i'm unsure if this irritability will go away as i become re-accustomed to the semi-chaotic nature of my home.

on top of all of this, my grandfather passed away yesterday and, as of writing this, i'm in a state of emotional numbness and i've somewhat disassociated from the situation. as it stands currently, life doesn't feel too real and i'm uncertain of how i'm going to deal with this when my emotions finally come to the surface.

that's it for the depressing portion of this post. everything from here will be pertaining to the state of this blog, what i'm going to be doing with it, and also my presence on other social medias among other things.

for the past three or so months i haven't felt very compelled to post to this blog. when i went on hiatus a while ago, i thought time away from this blog would reignite my passion for it and i'd be able to come back and do things like i used to. and while that was the case for a while, i quickly lost interest again and sometime in mid-late july i let my queued posts do everything and i barely posted or reblogged anything aside from gofundmes.

while littlest pet shop is still one of my special interests, i'm no longer as fixated on it as i was when i first started this blog. i once debated turning this blog into a catchall for my toy interest and no longer posting daily lps, however that idea no longer appeals to me and i think i'm going to be calling it quits for this blog.

i'm not happy about this decision, but i no longer get joy from logging on and posting to this blog anymore.

i find it foolish to delete this blog and never use it again, though. i still have over eight thousand followers and i believe i should use that to share and bring awareness to donation posts. so this blog will not be going anywhere.

if you want to follow me elsewhere, my main blog is @joplinspiderz and my art blog is @mushyspiderz. i'm trying to put more focus on my presence in art spaces, as i want to get attention for my art and earn money doing things like commissions, as i'm looking for other sources of income so that i can pay for things i need and can stop feeling like a freeloader in my mother's house (that is half of a joke. but i do really want to help my mom with her bills and such as well as my personal things.)

i also have an instagram, threads, and twitter where i will be posting my art as well. the audience i want for my art is people in my age range (18 and older) as i tend to draw things and characters that are suggestive/sexual in nature. all three socials are currently bare (that will change, of course.) the handle for my instagram/threads is joplinspiderz and my twitter is mushyspiderz.

the person i have been portraying on this blog has been a somewhat sanitized version of who i actually am, as i wanted to create a safe and comfortable space for those who age regress because i noticed a good chunk of the people interacting with my posts were age regressers. i'm 18 years old and i enjoy consuming media that is sexual in nature as well as horror movies. i like to include sexual themes in my artwork and my writing as well. you will not find anything outright pornographic on my socials, however sometime in the future when/if i'm able to, i would like to create a patreon where i post nsfw locked behind a paywall (profiting off of horny fools sounds like so much fun /silly)

i sincerely thank everyone who followed this silly little blog of mine and interacted with me. the littlest pet shop community is one of the best fandoms i've been apart of, everyone i've met and spoken to has been so kind. running this blog was also the reason i encountered two people who i consider to be some of my closest and best friends. if i didn't create this blog i'm not sure if i would've met them.

i've always felt joy when opening my inbox here and seeing messages from people who say things like littlest pet shop was a part of their childhood, and that my blog brought them back to their childhood and made them happy. i'm so very glad i was able to give people a sense of joy and nostalgia. running this blog has been a big part of me getting over being seen as "weird" or "cringe" by societal standards. i embrace being seen as "cringe" and i have my rare lps on full display in my bedroom.

again, i thank everyone who followed me here, and if you wish to support me you can follow any of my social medias where i will be posting my artwork. i will be logging on here every so often to boost palestinian gofundmes and donation posts, and i encourage everyone who comes across those to share as well.

that's all for now, farewell. 🩷

[itsclydebitches]

Any tips for new grad students? I'm about to start in the fall and I'm curious how it'll be different/hopefully better than undergrad!

Congratulations, anon!!!

Let's see... some alphabetical tips based on my own experience:

Ask for help. You'll likely have a million questions and, unfortunately, the designated people who can answer them are often crazy busy and may take a while to get back to you, or forget entirely. So don't be afraid to ask for help from whoever might even feasibly know the answer -- including tumblr blogs! You're off to a great start lol

Be on the lookout for advisors early. Whether you're just in need of a singular advisory for a thesis, or if you'll be putting a whole committee together, approach every new instructor with the question, "Would I want them to mentor me through my research?" in the back of your mind. Pay attention to not just their specialties and teaching methods, but who they are as a person. Do you like them? Are you comfortable with them? Do they treat you respectfully? Do they seem to have everything well in hand? I loved my advisor dearly as a person, but he was often waaaaaay behind on his work. Looking back, I would have at least considered choosing someone with better organization/time management skills.

Get good at writing emails. Can you write a succinct, professional sounding email? Great! Get comfortable doing that throughout the whole day. Feeling a little iffy? Practice over the summer. There are a lot of templates online that can help, but you'll want to ensure you're not going into grad school still writing "k thx" from your iPhone at 3:00am. (For the record, your professors may do this, the students should not lol).

Have designated, scheduled downtime. Literally if you don't plan to take a break... you won't be taking a break. Not until your body decides to take one for you, anyway. Friday nights were always my couch potato time. Absolutely no work allowed and no strenuous activity unless it was something I was legitimately excited about (so no getting pressured into outings I didn't actually want to attend). Friday nights were sacred, a time for takeout and only whatever else I felt like doing, usually TV, video games, and vegging out with my cat.

Imposter Syndrome is a BITCH. Luckily, pretty much everyone's got it to a greater or lesser extent, we all just need to acknowledge it more. You know those boards some schools have celebrating places where students have gotten in and other achievements? Yeah, we put one up for failures in our department. Literally a giant, glittery, "CONGRATS YOU DIDN'T GET IT!" board where we hung proposal rejections, grant rejections, school rejections, scholarship rejections, job rejections, and on one memorable occasion a date rejection. I highly recommend it. Nothing lessens the sting quite as much as seeing that you're a part of a sea of similar disappointments and remembering that you're all in the same, often luck-based boat.

Pick a non-academic hobby. Your mental health will thank you, trust me. Like the designated downtime, you need to be doing something that's not reading/writing/researching 24/7. Pick a hobby that in no way relates to academics or your chosen field, preferably something hands-on and creative. Grad school is when I picked up crocheting alongside knitting.

Prepare to hold down two jobs. This really only applies if you're going to be teaching while you get your degree (or if you have an outside job for the paycheck), but I was pretty blindsided by what it took to be a full-time student and a half-time instructor. I don't really have good advice beyond "Figure out your time management skills now" and "Don't pour all your energy into one or the other because the one you've neglected WILL come back to bite you in the ass," but even just being aware of how difficult it is going to be would have staved off the initial shock.

Read strategically. Perhaps this is different for someone not in the Humanities, but you will be reading a LOT in grad school. Like, an absolutely stupid amount. There simply will not be time to cover everything from title to footnotes (I know, it hurts), so get comfortable with reading abstracts, chapter summaries, skimming, and otherwise summarizing lengthy works to figure out what you should prioritize. Unless a whole article is assigned for class, figure out what you need from any given text -- or what you think you may need -- and hone in on that. You can always return to read more if you have the time.

SAVE EVERYTHING. Do not delete emails. Get copies of everything even remotely official. Print everything out. Buy yourself a couple of cheap file boxes, stick them under your bed, and keep it all just in case. What kind of things have I unexpectedly needed to dredge up weeks, months, or even years later? The printed paper with hand-written comments to justify a grade I gave. An ancient email from a committee member proving that they did in fact sign off on a certain chapter choice. A copy of the publication forms I signed for a book collection after those got lost on their end (somehow). Seriously, save everything. You'll never know when you may need proof of some communication you've had.

Take naps. That's it. That's the advice. Someone gives you shit for being "lazy" or tries to make you feel bad for "wasting" a sunny afternoon? Make them step on a Lego and then both of you take your nap outside. Naps are beautiful and sacred and life-saving. Just set a good alarm for whenever your next class/meeting is.

Work at making friends. Unlike high school or even college where you'll be spending the day with a core group of people, in graduate school (unless your school is really small) the students are a lot more spread out and there aren't as many built-in opportunities to socialize. So plan to put in more effort at connecting with others because you will want that camaraderie, both for practical help and your sanity. I didn't realize how much more I needed to do to get to know my peers until I was nearly finished my Master's. Luckily, my PhD threw me into an office with seven other grads, so I didn't have a choice about getting to know them lol

You're responsible for your own learning. You've gotten a taste of this in college, but grad school cranks it up to 11. You're an adult (not an "adult" adult like a college student) and you've committed to putting forth 2-7 additional years towards your education. The expectation is that you want to be here and will showcase the necessary effort without outside influence (unless you require accommodations, of course). Be prepared for your instructors to treat you like a peer, both when it comes to the fun stuff - intense debates about your field! - and the responsibilities they expect you to follow through on. In some ways grad school is nothing like college because you are now focused on one subject, you are working collaboratively with people who were once solely authority figures, and 95% of the work will occur outside the classroom via self-teaching. You're a professional now. Still being mentored, but well on your way to that equal standing. The sooner you realize that you are responsible for your own education and future career -- not your teachers, your parents, your BFF, your roommate, etc. -- the better.

Most importantly:

[neitherabaron]

just wanted to ask because i thought the answer might be interesting— what’s been the hardest part of working on the death of byron von raum (and/or any other projects!) so far? and conversely, what’s been your favorite part?

thanks!! hope you’re having a good day :-)

TW: Mental health

I'm gonna try and give you an in-depth answer because I'm super aware that it's been a long time since I provided any real updates on Byron. Your question's very apt because there are things about the project that I absolutely love, and others that I'm really struggling with.

To start with the good stuff - my favourite part by far is the music. I really believe in these songs and the ones I've written so far are killers. There's one about Byron's childhood sung by his parent. It's got an ostinato on violin (and maybe Uillean pipes? budget depending) that runs through it and evenually builds into a sweeping instrumental section with a chord progression I'm a little bit in love with. And the standout song is the one that probably would have been Marius' signature song with the Mechs if we'd gone in that direction back in the day.

But on the other hand, it is very, very difficult for me to work on Byron right now. For a while now I've been searching for the right way to explain that even though I believe in the project, it's not coming anytime soon because of that.

The thing is, the story is bleak. Way, way beyond Mechanisms-bleak. Like, I don't know how it will be recieved by other people beyond the friends I've shared it with, but it's bleak enough that I actually find it really distressing. Somehow I've written a story that pushes almost every one of my triggers and speaks to everything that personally frightens me.

But it's absolutely Marius' story. I can't change it and try to keep it light - everything that can go wrong for these characters has to, must go wrong. I care about them and they start with so little and they lose everything and they're awful to each other in between.

I still work on it, but I have to handle it and myself with care, so there's no timeline or work schedule I'm keeping on it right now. When I have a good idea, I sit and write for an hour if I can. But (and I've mentioned this on my Tumblr in the past without naming the project) every time I do that, I have a panic attack, and I'm on edge for the next 24 hours after. Always. I want this story to exist, but at the moment I don't want to put myself through the experience of making it. It's just me and I have nobody else to back me up. The Mechanisms covered some upsetting stuff sometimes, but we had friendship and support and camaraderie. To make this story happen, it'd probably need to be the main thing I do for about a year. And I don't think I can do that as long as the plot and themes are affecting me like this.

I think I'd also need the plot and characters to have more nuance than I'm likely able to convey in a Mechanisms-adjacent song-narration-song album format. I think I've mentioned in the past that I don't think it's a particularly effective way to convey complex themes, but some elements of the plot demand a deep look at the characters, because they do some truly horrible things and we need to see what brings good people to that point. So if I reach an emotional place where I can work full-time on Byron, I'll probably explore other ways to tell the story. One possibility is doing it as a mini-series with a song in every episode, so I can explore the characters through dialogue. An episodic release might give me a way to work through it at my own pace while looking after myself, I don't know.

I also have to be honest, when I started work properly in January 2020, the world felt like a very different place. With everything that's going on in the world right now, things I couldn't have imagined back then, I don't know the extent to which this story qualifies as entertainment anymore. Would I feel comfortable putting out this story full of war and horror and misery and saying it's a fun thing for people to enjoy?

To tell the truth, I don't think I want to make upsetting things at the moment. I just did Rat-tailed Rover and had a blast. I need to have some surgeries done on my abdomen before I'll be ready to go again, and there's no timer on that, but Carnaval des Gobelins is fully written and ready to record once I'm recovered. And I have so many ideas after that, that I really think I could go as long as people care to listen. I'm having so much fun and getting so much artistic satisfaction writing songs about rat paladins and gay goblins and I'm not giving myself panic attacks doing it. I'm aware that's probably not what some people were hoping to hear re: an update on Byron, but right now I feel like I'd rather make you wonderful people smile, laugh and feel represented than present you with a really bleak story where I make a character you care about suffer over and over again.

Anyone who's been following me here or on Twitter will know that I love Byron, I adore Marius, and I value my time and friendships shared with the Mechanisms beyond anything I've ever done. That's part of who I am. The goodwill of my listeners and the Mechs fandom means the world to me. So this is not me saying that The Death of Byron von Raum isn't coming. But I haven't figured out yet how to deliver it in a way that keeps me mentally and emotionally safe and happy. I don't know when that will be, except that it isn't now. In the meantime, I'm going to throw myself into Carnaval des Gobelins (well, as soon as I've finally had my op - it's been a year and counting) and I'm gonna give you the ten best songs about folklore monsters you've ever heard. And I'll keep it up as long as you're there to listen. Thank you x

[v3nusxsky]

Hi can I ask for a hurt/comfort fic where r is just really stressed from being a high achiever and they're beating themselves up for not getting a good grade and subsequently not eating/sleeping/being harsh on themself because they don't 'deserve it' so lady lesso gives them a pep talk and stays w them for a while to make sure they actually take care of themself? Thank you, needed this personally for something that happened today <3

Hey @moon3thereal thank you so much for the request I hope I did it some justice and I just want you to remember that grades do not define you as a person and as long as you tried your best then that’s all that matters. As a student teacher myself that’s all I could ever ask for from my students. I hate how sometimes grades are put above someone’s wellbeing and mental health.

Top marks

Authors note~ I tend to write from experience and as a high achiever I often deal with feeling this way. It helps to reach out and remember you deserve the love and care no matter what*

Trigger warning ~ pressure to be the best?

Prompt ~ tumblr anon ~ see the ask

Grades are important. You knew that. You had it drummed into you since you were old enough to even understand what a test was. You had to be the best. And if you weren't the best then you had to work harder. Failure is not an option. Your parents would only be proud of you were the best of the best. Full marks, not a mark below of you seemed to lose your worth. Knowing this is how they felt, meant you always put an unnecessary amount of stress on yourself even at an early age.

That's why when you failed, well you didn't fail exactly you got ninety nine percent, you were absolutely crushed. You had failed. Your utterly perfect record tarnished. And all you could do is blame yourself. You let yourself and your parents down, which meant you deserved to be punished. After all that's what your mother would do. She wasn't here to do it so you had to be strong to do it to yourself. Immediately you began to try and formulate a new studying routine. Adding in even more hours into your already hectic schedule.

Ever since the results of that test, you had spent every last waking moment with your head buried in a book. You tried many different methods of retaining information yet nothing seemed to work. Adding to your frustration, all you could do was cram more. You began to cut out meals and even staying up into the early hours of the morning and waking up at five in the morning every day. You were hardly managing to get about three hours of sleep a night.

Weight began to fall from your already small frame. Your focus deteriorated with each passing day. You had even slipped back into old habits as a form of punishing yourself for failing. The pressure you placed on yourself holding a massive cloud of grief over your heart. Truthfully you wanted help, to be free from the enormous burden but you didn't know how to get the help. Anyone you had previously attempted to tell had completely agreed with your parents, reassuring that they were going to be creating a strong and reliable leader for the realm. Didn't matter if you wanted to rule or not, they were conditioning you to be their perfect puppet.

You were confused with Lady Leonora Lesso had requested your presence in her office with immediate effect. As far as you knew, you had done nothing wrong to warrant a visit to her office. In fact you had kept yourself to yourself so much so that you couldn't even be an accomplice to anyone else's actions. As soon as your classes were done for the day you made your way to her office riddled with anxiety. Maybe this was about the grade? Was she mad at you for failing too? Oh god were you about to be dragged to the Doom Room?

With trembling hands you knocked on her office door, waiting until she granted you permission to enter. You did so nervously and locked the door as she had requested you do. Lesso gestured to the chair in front of her desk indicating she wanted you to sit. You sat, hands folded neatly in your lap and your eyes showing the fear you were feeling run rampant within.

"Little one? Are you okay" she queried in a soft tone, making you do a double take. Was she being nice? That was odd. "I'm okay thank you Lesso I just have studying to do" you murmured hoping that she would let you leave. Unfortunately for you all that did was cause a frown to form on her lips. "That's why you're here darling. "You're overwhelming and overworking yourself too much" she stated as a matter of fact causing tears to spring into your eyes. How could that be true when you still failed. Yes it's one mark. But it is one mark off being perfect. As you should be.

Noticing you're teary state the older woman stood and came to kneel in front of you. Her pads of her thumb coming to write the stray tears now falling. "Oh little one, I know. It's just one mark my darling honestly it's not the end of the world" she murmured to you making sure to wipe every stray tear. It always amazed you how she seemed to know exactly what was wrong. You couldn't help but break down and fling yourself into her arms. It took a few minutes for  Lesso to respond, bringing her hands to stroke comforting patterns over your back. "Hush little one it's okay. You're still amazing. It's just one mark, it was a really hard test love. You should be so proud of yourself"

You allowed yourself to soak in her words and her soothing embrace. This was the motherly affection you'd craved for years and never found. Yet here in her arms you felt as though you were a small child becoming comforted by their mother after falling down. "Thank you momma" you whispered into her shoulder feeling her immediately relax at the word "momma." "You're so welcome my little dove, now I want you to get something to eat for me and some sleep tonight hmm?" And you nodded but held on to the woman tighter not ready to lose the contact just yet. Your silent question being answered when she held you closer to her body and told you to just rest for a little bit.

Word count ~ 1047

[frenreyfire]

Intro Post Yippee!!

Who am I?- How I tag things (+ Trigger Tags) - Boundaries- Before you Follow

Who am I?

♡ I am Travis or Mint. Name might change, still figuring that out.

♡ Previous Usernames (pink is for tumblr names): spacekids, gummieshark, angelthlng. I use minthardcore on other websites.

♡ I use they/them, it/its, ny/nym pronouns (ny/nym is basically just he/him pronouns but replace the h with n and the i with y. Do not he/him me).

♡18

♡ Sapphic, aromantic, generally queer and a-spec, nonbinary, therian/otherkin/dog/alien/deer thing 👍

♡ I primarily post digital art (I use Procreate (or IbisPaintX, not super often tho) w/ an I Pad + Apple Pencil or I use jspaint with a trackpad), but I do a lot of traditional art (graphite, colored pencil, gouache, pastels, collage- basically any medium I can get my hands on. Primarily graphite though). I also knit and dabble in other physical arts like that. One of my favorite projects I've done is making a lithograph print. I’ve also made a long furby and my current pipe dream is to make a BJD.

♡ I have a buncha things wrong with me. Many are undiagnosed. Some are. You will never know.

♡ Games/Books/Comics/Shows Interests- Half Life but the AI is Self Aware, Half Life, a lot of other Half Life extant media, TF2, Dungeon Meshi, DND, Fin fin (on teo the magic planet), I have no mouth and I must scream, the Bible/Christianity (I am not Christian I just think it's neat), MLP, Portal, Mouthwashing, Elden Lied

♡ General Interests- Angels, Armor (specifically medieval european armor), Wizards, biology, conservation, activism, aliens, plushies & dolls, furbies and extant media. I like Nu Metal, 80's-90's pop, K&J-Pop, Country, Rap, and a lot of other genres! I love music and listening to things.

How I tag things

♡ Not Mine- Self explanatory. Posts that are not mine that I’ve reblogged.

♡ Mine- Writing, drawing, or other things I post.

♡ Sorta mine/kinda mine/stepchild post- Usually a reblog response/ collaboration that I feel I haven’t contributed to enough for it to be mine.

♡ Important/Fundraiser- Important resources or fundraiser I encourage y’all to check out.

♡ Travid Art- My Art

♡ Travid Doodles- Doodles/WIPS

♡ travid barks- Random thoughts I have

♡ Textpost- My textposts

♡ Good shit- Stuff I really like!

♡ I have other things I tag a lot but they’re pretty inconsistent. I go through cycles of tagging random stuff.

♡ I only put fandom tags on my own original posts, not on reblogs.

♡ Trigger/Content Tags I use- blood, gore, firearms, artistic nudity, suggestive, nsft, nsft text, flash, flashing, eyestrain, suicide joke

Boundaries

♡ Likes w/ no reblogs- Absolutely!

♡ Rambling in reblogs- Please! I love to hear people’s thoughts on my stuff :)

♡ Tagging me/Messaging me about stuff- Sure! If you think I’d like something, lmk!

♡ Using my art as a PFP or banner (or as anything else)- Please ask and credit me.

♡ Reposting (not reblogging, re-uploading my stuff here or on another site)- Ask me and I might make an acceptation, but usually no. If you're going to do it at least credit me and link my post though.

♡ Requests- Sure! If I like your idea I might draw it. If your idea doesn’t interest me I won’t draw it. You are not entitled to my time. I am not going to draw your dog. Unless it’s cute.

♡DMs- Sure! Again, you are not entitled to my time but if you want to DM me, feel free.

♡ Critiques- Sure! I’m always looking to improve and if something looks weird, lmk! Art is a hobby for me. I do not have a lot of time to spend on it. Do not be rude/condescending and do not be mad if I don’t follow your advice.

♡ I am not responsible for anyone else’s mental health. I am not an art machine. I am not a therapist. I do not owe anyone anything. You do not need to know everything about me. I'm fine sharing about my personal experiences, but if I say "no" I mean it and I will block if pressed.

♡ I struggle a lot with social cues. If I do something that makes you uncomfortable, let me know!

Before You Follow

♡ I can't really control who interacts w/ me, so this is purely a b4 u follow/ DNF (i'm using this acronym. i'm sorry to all who know).

♡ Don't follow if ur under 16- I post weird shit. Get outta here.

♡ DNF Pro-Israel people, Eco fascists, people who actually like Joe Biden, libertarians, radqueers and radfems- just don’t follow if you’re a dick. Also goes for bigots & rightwingers obvi.

♡ Softer DNF if you think that like. Extreme kinks are problematic? I'm into gore and I don't think fiction 1-to-1 applies to reality.

♡That being said DNI if you get off to irl abusive/problematic media. Like not CNC or whatever but snuff type stuff

♡ I'm uninterested in debating ppl about my boundaries. I don't have to talk to you. Why do you even want to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to you? Goober.

♡ I don’t care what media you like. I am highly critical of certain medias, and I am not responsible for warning you about that. If you will have a meltdown over criticism of your favorite show, assume I hate it and don’t follow.

♡ If you're going to get upset at me about media I like, do not. I will not engage in that. I was a DSMP fan when I was 13. I have been to too many rodeos to care. I'm usually pretty good at acknowledging faults in medias I consume. If u want to point out something I miss, go ahead! But I'm probably aware of, like, the weird undertones of Elfen Lied.

♡I engage with NSFW creators. I might reblog explicit or NSFW posts. I might not tag them because my bar for explicit/NSFW content is pretty high (I went to art museums as a kid so nudity isn't inherently erotic to me and I'm bad at reading intent). I tag explicit stuff with "NSFT" and related tags. If you have a problem with that, do not follow.

♡ I'm not going to post explicit NSFW, but I draw nudity (not full frontal nudity, just topless stuff :P). I will tag it as such but be warned.

♡ I also do a wee bit of horny posting (horny tagging? idk), so beware.

♡ I block somewhat conservatively, but I do block people if I dislike them enough.

♡Ik DNI lists are sooo last season but I'm mainly putting this here to cut my losses. I don't really check the pages of ppl who follow/interact with me, but if I catch a whiff of this stuff I'll block. So yk. We can prevent this from happening if you dont follow me or if you block me first <3.

Updated- Dec 9, 2024

[wild-wombytch]

Ok, I'll pin this before shits go insane. The TL;DR is that I'll be temporarily uninstalling social medias so I have no idea whether I'll reply to about everything or when. All the following posts on this blog are queued. I'm probably not leaving radblr, just going on hiatus.

Putting the rest under the cut because I feel the best thing to do is being open-hearted and honest. I want to explain the reasoning nobody cares about behind it and I don't want to spam everyone's dash about this : (TW negativity, mental health, trauma dumping?, personal, pretty lengthy, blah)

I'm definitely overdramatic due to my own mental shits, but I'm getting SERIOUS anxiety from my reply to this post about poverty and middle class.

I don't regret it per se. I almost chose to ignore it because this is a painful topic and those who never experienced it wouldn't believe the amount of spits in the face you get from the middle-class as someone poor in the form of about daily microagressions and what trash you interiorize from it (you don't get much from billionaires because they don't even know we exist and they clearly don't frequent us, they fuck with us as a class but not on an individual level). As everything engaged with emotionally, it can quickly become a bomb. Yet, radblr has made (and still makes, we're all WIP after all) me someone less passive and more inclined to speak up. I'll never be grateful enough for that. So I chose to "woman-up" and make my voice heard. As insignificant as it seems. Because no one can talk for me better than myself.

Maybe it's absolutely nothing for a lot of people (and I guess it objectively IS nothing) but it is ENORMOUS for someone battling crippling anxiety (and I'm not choosing the word "crippling" lightly. My mental health literally gives me such tangible physical pains, gluing themselves to my already existing back issues/arthrodesis that I am physically disabled. I am heavily medicated. I am in a day hospital. I recently genuinely considered asking for a full-time internment in a mental hospital for maybe a month or two because I am becoming dangerous for myself and a burden). I used to be so passive, shy and anxious that I wouldn't voice my opinion at all in fear, that's how I got into the TRA movement so obediently. Exactly the example of Solanas about women completely conditioned out of their female power and inner worlds by their fathers, then becoming the emotional rags and handmaiden of every other men. I'm slowly unlearning that. Participating in something like that was part of the process. I don't know if I dose well. If I should dose and not be too "spicy" at all. Probably not. Radfems showed me the key to my shackles and I'm just starting to understand how it works. Yet, now I'm projecting all of my past experiences on this and fear I'm from one hand encouraged in a direction and going to get my neck broken for it from the other as a punishment. I shouldn't care, yet I still do at this point of my journey.

Again, I'm a mental mess. All is a bit blurry and unreasonable when we talk about anxiety/ptsd. I fear I'm going to get terfed out the terves and cancelled, do to speak. And it is oddly terrifying due to the mess I internalized and how highly and gratefully I look at radfems, with my tendency to idealize.

So when I was about 70% of my reply and I rechecked the whole thread to see it was Tepkunset out of all the Tumblr users I was "siding with"...fuck, did I stutter a nervous laugh. When I made this blog, I made a point to avoid interacting with hers, because I also used (and still do, to some degrees) highly look up to her. Like radfems, she is smart, brave and outspoken and I was all starry-eyed for her. She doesn't know of me and would probably block me on sight now (and probably will if that's not already done by seeing my reply), but she had genuinely been a model to me and got me in social justice and to think deeply about a lot of things, including myself as someone existing within bigger systems. I'm not making shits up when I say she changed the course of my life and I wouldn't be here in my journey if it wasn't for her. It was a process for me to actually embrace "heresy" and accept that I disagreed with her, my icon, about gender issues (which is a shame, because I think if cancel culture wasn't such a thing, she would genuinely be an amazing person to debate with). I've never been into celebs cult but that definitely was a close one. That's why I didn't interact with her blog, other than sometimes paying a visit and reblogging through other blogs as to not be blocked by her. Because I genuinely still respect her and want to hear about her thoughts even if I don't necessarily agree with them anymore, and want to see if she's okay and sometimes I rake my drawers to send money her way when life gets Bad™.

So that's some bullshit irony there that I feel torn in my "loyalties" among people I deeply admire yet disagree with and who themselves probably only intereacted with me anecdotally and know of me as much as they know of the flies in their kitchens. So essentially all that noise is in my head only yet what if I told you my back pains that almost miraculously vanished after seeing an osteopath yesterday just came back and now I can't lay on my back at all, no matter how many painkillers I take? Yes, I'm stressing out that bad over a Tumblr post no one cares about. If it was a telenovela it would be one of these scenes where a character is caught between a fight between their current crush and ex and has to pick a side and gets rightfully dumped by both.

So yeah, it also stirred a lot of things I haven't processed yet about my TRA days and even shittier moments of my life. I definitely wasn't ready for that.

I also genuinely internalized that I shine in society by not being very smart or useful or assertive like the women I admire so much. I'm not even sure about what I write, because I have no inner voice, my thoughts happen as I voice them, my brain is barren cotton, a perpetual state of dream. I don't know which of my memories are exact and which are dreams and past thoughts. I have amnesia of full discussions I had and consents I gave and I am completely stunned when people prove me I said something, because, in all good faith, I have not a shred of memory. Maybe a drop of a hazy memory you'd have in a dream. My past self and my current self both seem unreal, like other people. So I stick to ideas I have of my identity, shards of it, labels. I fiercely defend them because they are the only sense of self I perceive at all. Because I don't even feel human outside of thel. So I still have the same fear as during my TRA days that a breeze can make everything crumble. Most women here are very bright, it would take nothing to unmask the lack of ability I have to counter, to emotionally rein myself in, to construct a consistent data-based retort. That's why I was afraid of radfems in my TRA days already.

Anyway, that plus my irl social life being toxic currently makes me cope by going on social medias, which I know are awful for my mental health, yet I persist inflicting that on myself. There are several medical leaves at the day hospital so I'm ~aLoNe~ with my shits. Then you know the shit circle of life it is : not sleeping, not eating, being more anxious, sleeping less, being more anxious, eating less, reflecting too deeply on which way of sabotaging myself is the most reasonable...

So radical times call for radical measures. I'm deleting temporarily all of my apps instead of seeing notifications all the time and obsessively checking if everyone hates me yet or if nobody cares and pondering which is worse by looking at a wall for a whole day trying to not think about SH. That's stupid, and cowardly and pathetic and unfair towards people who reads me and puts thoughts in their replies and it's many other ugly things probably. But if I don't I'll implode. I just want to break the circle of feeling like shit and back pains that ruin my life so I can get back on my legs and maybe tackle one thing at a time. And I quite literally need to touch grass, even if I don't want to see anyone in my irl circles for now.

I don't know if any of this made sense. I'd probably also regret dumping all that tomorrow. Sedation is finally starting to work, so I guess that's why I m so talkative so I'll surf on it, post this, delete everything and pray I'll also forget about this until it randomly pops into my mind and gives me an existential crisis 20y from now. Should I even be given a right to vote and access to internet until I'm fixed? Are those rights part of the reconstruction process and of creating a sense of self?

Idk, I'm just tired. I wish you all well during this time. Radblr is wonderful despite occasional disagreements. I hope we can still be sisters after that and hope you won't think less of me. If you do, well, you're probably right, I also think less of myself every time I dare to exist and open the mouth. I am also the daughter of my father, after all, so I have plenty of reasons to think I deserve my own hatred and other people's.

I said I needed to be honest and open hearted so I've been. That's also why it's the over sharing website I guess? Here's a random gif to conclude this because I don't know what else to say and this is all fairly embarrassing:

[something-pithy]

Notes and an Update: Astarion, Tav, and Trauma in Stories

Pictured above: actual footage of trauma response from Astarion (j/k! kinda!) to catch your eye :D

Hey glittercats and cosmic kittens!

So I've definitely been neglecting the updates here, which I'm going to try to do better with.

We're up to Chapter 11 on this bad boy, and I've adjusted the anticipated chapter count to 30 (but honestly it's probably still all lies because I have absolutely no sense of how much writing each point on my outline ends up being loool).

I have a DOPE beta who's fucking amazing both in terms of conventions and idea partnership and I'm telling you right now, this story is so much better for having their hands and eyes on it.

SOME CONTENT WARNING STUFF RE: THIS CHAPTER:

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) and symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

.

.

.

MORE DETAILS ON THIS -- SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

So hopefully that's enough room for people who don't want to be spoiled to escape!

So I'm going to copy/paste the end note on the story, and expand on it a little bit.

So, although Tav is a "good drunk," as Frank Gallagher might put it, she is 1000% engaging in pretty serious substance abuse, or to be more specific in this chapter, alcohol use disorder. I'm not going to go into the way this story is going to approach mental and behavioral health disorders and trauma; hopefully it will speak for itself. Suffice it to say substance abuse and trauma are not the central subject of this story, but also, Astarion and Tav as they exist in this little pocket dimension of the BG3 universe have been impacted by the trauma they've each experienced both together and as individuals. In general, the impact of trauma can look and feel a lot of ways. Sometimes it's horrifying, sometimes it's heartbreaking, sometimes it's rage-inducing - but let's be honest, sometimes that shit is funny, too, because humor is such an incredible survival tactic / coping mechanism. Even if sometimes we're laughing at shit that shouldn't be funny. (Maybe especially then.) This story isn't going to be an after-school special or a PSA. It's a story about people, and sometimes people are fucked up (literally and figuratively). Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. If this has activated you, or you have earnest questions or concerns about what's going on in this story / with these characters, or you just want to shoot the shit, hit me up on my tumblr. There might be more notes there on this eventually, but for now, this chapter actually took a lot out of me and I'm still out here with these perpetual COVID symptoms, so... lol NOT TONIGHT. As always, thank y'all for reading, kudosing, and commenting.

OK, so I may have lied about the no notes part... but honestly, in re-reading that note, I think it kind of gets to the point.

But ALSO...

I've been a geek on the internet for a long, long time. I've engaged with different fan-based writing and roleplaying communities (tabletop, chat-based, forum-based, butt-based -- EVERYTHING) for pretty much the entire time.

"The Tragic Backstory" seems like it's been A Whole Thing since people started creating characters whether for roleplay or stories.

I think times have changed somewhat, but back in the day I ran in circles where a lot of thoughts about writing, creating characters, roleplay, etc. coexisted somewhat peacefully, but an old chestnut that consistently (maybe without fail) turned up in any conversation that involved Writers of Quality was a contingent of folks who had deep disdain for The Tragic Backstory.

I'm talkin' some deep, scathing, elitist shit, my beautiful people.

And I'm not gonna lie to you! This is approximately ten thousand years ago (no but seriously, decades), and honestly, I was up in those conversations, too, throwing around my disdain, assured by my fellow elitists that even though I frequently employed some form of Tragic Backstory, it was OK when I did it because it was good.

I mean in retrospect, it's kinda bullshit. There's always gonna somebody who's gonna think your shit's good, and there's also always gonna be somebody who thinks they're a Better Writer Than You who's gonna think your shit is... well, shit.

Not gonna lie, I still have very strong and particular preferences when it comes to the fic I read in general, and that includes backstory.

But over time, I got progressively less insecure (not just about my writing, but in general) and consequently less concerned with judging writing that's not my flavor as "bad" or "shitty" or "juvenile" (looool seriously, I was a dick) and more concerned with finding and creating writing that is my flavor.

However, and I don't think I'm going to apologize for it, some dickish tendencies linger in my soul. I'm going to try and frame these thoughts in terms of what compels me in a story I'm reading and what I do (or try to do) in my own writing.

This is a very long way of saying if something I say (or have already said) makes you feel like I'm coming for your neck, please know that I'm not.

My thoughts and/or opinions may cause you or someone you love to feel Some Type of Way. That is not my intention. I have no desire to:

Yuck anyone's yum

Contribute to or activate the crippling self-doubt that plagues almost every creative I've ever met

Be a dick.

Having said all that, I do have Thoughts on This Matter.

People write for a lot of reasons, but I'm fairly convinced that nobody's doing it with any level of purity. There are tons of incredible, beautiful, moving stories that feature a whole-ass Self-Insert, maybe even the dreaded Mary Sue.

(lol lookin' at you Dante's Inferno, Tyrion Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire, and countless others lol)

People write to explore topics and themes that interest them, that compel them, that they see recurring in the world around them and/or their own lives.

One of those things is trauma.

In my writing, I approach trauma, disordered behaviors, dysfunction, dysregulated emotions, etc. (topics both of great interest to me and, not coincidentally, ones with which I have a great deal of personal experience) from a place of wanting fervently to tell the truth.

And I'm pretty good writing some things that feel true.

But I know that in some ways, I've shied away from harder truths; from using my writing and the characters I create not only as reflections of what I see in the world, but as accurate (rather than idealized) reflections of myself.

Because of this, while I've explored redemption arcs in roleplaying games (where being cheesy or facile or juvenile or fulfilling personal fantasies felt much safer than on a page), I've skirted neatly around it, I think, in my writing (for the most part). Because I absolutely was the girl who wanted to "save" or "fix" the wounded (and emotionally unavailable, and/or abusive, and/or toxic) lover. I wanted stories about it. I wanted to roll around in that narrative, bathe in it, eat it up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

All while occupying the role/perspective of The Good One / The Good Girl whether in a game or in a story I was consuming.

But it's not the truth. Not the whole truth, at least. Not for me, anyway.

My admiration, respect, regard, and all the other good words for the writing and acting in Baldur's Gate 3 cannot be overstated. Each of the "origin" characters (and honestly, any character "Tav" has the opportunity to even have a conversation with, much less spend a significant amount of time with) is thoughtfully and truthfully written. I see this more in some than others, but that depth and breadth of understanding about human beings -- sorry, sentient beings -- shows up all over the place and honestly I almost can't stand how much I love it.

I'm not going to say that there's no character I feel this as deeply with as Astarion, but... idk, sometimes.

But there's no need to quantify this. Astarion is one of a number of characters from the game that I'm low-key obsessed with.

As such, when I decided to take on the story outcome in which, in my opinion, he throws all the growth, all the processing, all the truth and reconciliation I saw him moving toward in the game into a fucking woodchipper, I did not want it to be easy.

I get wanting it to be easy, and there are delicious, delicious fics out there that go this route. I think anybody who writes Ascendant Astarion at least flirts with it.

And it's not a binary; it's not either, "OMG this is completely uncomplicated, I love you I'm your spawn and it's just like if you hadn't ascended except your SUPER EXTRA POWERFUL AND SEXY AND HOT AND WHOOPS THERE GO MY PANTIES" (which, tbh... lool I'm not mad at) or "ASTARION IS IRREDEEMABLE LET ME WRITE OF HIS TRAGIC DEMISE AND TAV'S TRAGIC WITNESS TO IT / ENGINEERING OF IT." Which I'm ALSO not mad at, because THOSE THINGS CAN BE TRUE.

But while I'm subscribed to some stories that follow those paths or ones like them, and when I get that notification it's time to STOP THE PRESSES bc mama needs to READ, for me the challenge of this is if I'm going to continue Astarion and Tav's love story (or rekindle it lol), I want to honor the four years of intense character work Neil Newbon and Stephen Rooney and honestly the whole goddamn BG3 team from soup to nuts have done by considering "What would really happen here" as brutally as possible.

Komo, my incredible thought partner-cum-beta, can tell you about the pages of back and forth between us about "fml, how can we make this story work and maintain fidelity to the integrity* of these characters???? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

*not personal integrity -- meta shit. The integrity of their arcs, development, personalities, histories, traumas, etc.

SO. Back to trauma.

I said in my end note for chapter 11 that this story is not an after-school special (which looool probably at least some of you are like wtf are you talking about my dude and I'm like looooool omg life before kids were a whole target demographic unto themselves - kind of lol) or a PSA.

Which alludes to the fact that YES, I want to tell the truth about the ugliness of this relationship and the individuals in it with nuance and empathy and sensitivity; that I want to write about the pain and harm and longing and ache and all of it in ways that are neither hyperbolic nor diminishing.

But also, look, my darling motherfuckers, my comrades in fuckery, whoever's made it this far into this rambling monster of a -- whatever the fuck this is lool -- PEOPLE WHO HAVE TRAUMA ALSO HAVE FUN.

SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ENGAGING IN BEHAVIORS THAT ARE DESTRUCTIVE TO THEMSELVES AND/OR OTHERS.

I don't think I've sufficiently unpacked this part to dig down much deeper into it, but what I will say is that this is not going to be a passion play about Poor Tav or Drugs Are Bad, Mmkay? or anything else.

What this is going to be (or at least, what I passionately want it to be) is -- framed with a delicious little fake-dating muffin of an emotional MacGuffin -- a portrait of some people in all (or lordt jebus please let me achieve at least MOST) of their complexity.

ALL OF IT.

Lordt Baby Jebus, Allah, Milal, Great Spaghetti Monster, ANYBODY

(not Lolth lol)

hear my prayer!

Aight, that's all I've got for today. <3

If you made it this far, PM me and tell me something you want to see in the story! I'll make you a treat.

And if it don't fit in the story, I might be able to make a li'l drabble happen.

COMING SOON to Writing Notes Storytime:

Identity in this story and in stories in general

The Good, the Bad, and the Neutral: Alignment and Astarion (and some other ppl, too!) in BG3, DnD, and This Story lol

Stuff I'm forgetting bc I'm STILL not over this never-ending COVID fuckery

[infloresco]

RULES.

Hi, Janice here and I am finally writing some rules. It is a short thing, just putting things that I think that are very important. If I think of more, I will definitely add it here. I am a pretty nice and chill person. I love screaming about our muses and their interactions. I am an absolute angst lover.

General rules & quality of life.

This blog is semi-selective & independent. Activity varies from to to week basis since I don’t have a set work schedule. Most of the IC interaction will most like be with mutuals since it is better for me tracking wise.

AU and OC’s are always welcomed and encouraged, especially if we have discussed it previously. (I have yet to write down all the different verses Robin is part off, so If you ever have any questions about them, please don’t be afraid to ask.)

NSFW content is present in this blog. I will always try to tag everything accordingly but as a general rule interaction as will be discussed before hand. Because of that it is advice to be 18+ and over. Any interaction with a minor will lack any sensitive material. Anyone lying about their age in search of NFSW interaction will be blocked! On the tagging topic, for the most part I don’t have any triggers, but if you aren’t so sure about something and you wish to discuss it before hand you can always contact me. (the best way to do it is on discord. Tumblr IMS are glitchy for me tbh)

Very important, my inbox, asks are always welcome, IC (obviously if we are mutuals I will reply to it eventually) and OOC (especially if you wanna know more about my take on Robin). My anon are one but as a general rule: don’t abuse it. I’ve received a few ill intended messages. If they were to continue, I will definitely turn off anon.

For the most part this blog is multi-ship. I love discovering dynamics and if our muses click, expect me sending you cute lil things and musing about them. But if that’s something you aren’t too keen on, please let me know. The last thing I would like is to be a bother to you.

If I reply to an ask and you like to reply to it, please do. If you like it but you just want to reblog it, you are more than welcome to do so. I really don’t mind. And on that note, I’m not really on the reblog karma thing, If you want to reblog a meme from me, please do it. If you did it by accident? Please know I will not be made about it.

As established before, activity will vary weekly because of work but I will like to say that it will also be dependent on how I am feeling my muse. Hyper-fixation of certain topics prompt me to reply immediately, while sometimes I might not feel motivated to write. I try as much as I can to reply to all my drafts and inbox. Rarely do I clear my inbox so if you sent me something, I will most likely respond to it, eventually.

My mental health is slowly getting into a good place but sometimes the decline comes and my activity might become less. Even if I am not writing, I always love to discuss and plot, actually gives me motivation and serotonin to come back. But it is important that you know that I do this for fun, if you start pressuring me for replies I am going to call you out on it.

ABOUT SHIPPING:

I love to write various different ships. I love the discovery of something new. That said, please don’t force any ships for my muse. Chemistry is very important in any type of relationship. Be the romantic type or even a friendship. I love it when our muses vibe.

Robin is written as demi-sexual. Connection is truly important and the first step to have any sort of relationship.

I am open to a list of dynamics, from slight toxic and age gaps (muses need to be of age of course) Enemies to lovers… anything that gives me drama and angst. When I think of more I’ll write it down.

NFSW memes are open to people I ship with.

I have a bias for these ships: LawBin and Frobin but that doesn’t mean I won’t write anything else. Frankly I’ve been wanting to write Robin x Crocodile.

I am probably missing some things, but I couldn't figure it out. I think I've said like a million times already, but I will add anything that comes to mind.

[theghostbunnie]

I’m curious but ever since you dropped your Harrison hcs I’ve been thinking about what he would be like when he gets older. Are there any hcs/info you have for him??

I'M SO HAPPY Y'ALL ARE INTERESTED IN MY HCS IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME!!!!! 💖💕💫🩷

I have like two paths I could see my version of older Harrison going down. Let's say roughly age 17 or so, he either swears off using absolutely any of his natural magical ability and keeps his illusion/slide of hand tricks utterly private for the most part. The first being a desperate attempt to regain his parents trust, the second with the card tricks being more of getting shamed out of being open with his peers with his hobbies. I wouldn't wanna see him kept on this path and I often pair it with some major character development story. (In my head atleast, I don't think I'd ever be able to use a fanfiction writing website or have the energy to regularly update one or anything like that. I would definitely maybe write short fics on Tumblr one day.. maybe)

The other option being he actually never stopped working on his talents like that and has steadily gotten so much better. (At the start of the show he accidentally sets David on fire, in much later episodes he's able to make rings of flame, already MAJORR improvement!!) He works on his other abilities, making things levitate ect.

So when they start having these hiccups, often small physical items or spells bursting out of him during strong feelings (leading to panic and embarrassment only making it worse.) Harrison feels like it's a total setback. That his work so far didn't mean anything, he has no idea where his powers come from and as they change he apparently has no idea how to control them after all. Alot of old doubts, and new ones emerge. "Maybe it would've been better to have never had them in the first place."

I like to think after awhile he regains this hold over it, and it was just a sign of like. His magic going through puberty/hj and it turns out stronger in the end.

Other older Harrison HCs include he's definitely a swiftie and jumps up on his bed lipsyncing doing a fucking Matilda as shit floats everywhere.

His formal vest and top hat get switched out for a casual vest and beanie hat (constant hat hair) wouldn't it be so funny if he had a top hat shaped pin on it/hj

His like signature little thing I love putting on his clothes and drawing him with is the ace of spades. Small charms n shit I love it.

His frienemy thing with Nerris as she matures turns more into friend leaning. (Bc like, their dynamic is not 50/50 she is nearly always the one coming at or for HIM 😭 and it's coming from a very childish reasoning- which is okay. Bc she's a child.) So as she gets older and grows out of her issues that caused them to not get along they become closer.

Mostly due to them both being much better friends with Preston and spending time with each other via him.

But since they're older and Preston fills alot of his time with the multiple hobbies he has and Nerris has other friends to hangout with, Harrison is still left on his own sometimes. He goes through these bits of bad mental health and "everyone hates me" thoughts but doesn't really let anyone know about it.

I have this OC Quincy, technically not a camp camp oc I'm actually embarrassed sometimes to add him into things bc he doesn't fit the vibe of cc what so ever but the angst he can make is so good 2 me

He's this demon with magical know-how but no power of hisown. I like to think of Harrison (who notoriously throughout the show wants company.) Kinda ignores all the red flags and "I've always said don't judge a book by it's cover"s his way into accidentally getting manipulated by him. But also getting incredibly helpful magic lessons out of it too before it comes to a head.

[the-little-ewok]

A more permanent hiatus from writing

So I have made the difficult decision to stop writing, at least for Tumblr etc, on a more permanent basis. I appreciate and love every single one of you who have taken the time to read, comment, reblog, send requests and prompts. Writing saved me from a very dark place and helped me come to terms with some things.

I've had an absolute blast interacting with everyone and I won't be removing my masterlist so that will stay for people to re-read if they want.

The fact is after some big life changes and the way things are here on Tumblr right now (more on both of these points below for those who want more personal details), I just don't have the time or energy to continue writing and it has become no longer a temporary hiatus. I'm afraid this may be permanent for now.

I will remain on Tumblr just no longer as a writer.

For those who want to read no further I bid you farewell, and thanks for all the fish 💜

Tw for the below : Miscarriage, pregnancy, mental health, general complaintyness, probably too much personal details 😂

For those of you who want a better explanation on why im leaving writing..

I came to writing fanfic again after the loss of my daughter. We spent a long time trying to get pregnant, only to loose her to a premature birth (second trimester miscarriage) and then told there was no guarantee I could ever carry a child to full term. Tumblr saved me from being in a very dark place with knowing this information. The people I met here are some of the best. I loved writing, and I loved that my writing brought joy to people. It brought a light back into my life and helped me do something to distract myself. I'm greatful for every single person who interacted with my fics. You have no idea how much your support, comments, reblogs and GIFs helped me. It helped me slowly come back to myself again.

Recently we have been incredibly blessed with a rainbow baby after an extremely stressful high risk pregnancy which absolutely took it out of me both physically and mentally, and caused me to take an initial step back from writing.

I sort of underestimated how much having a child would take out of my time and I honestly just do not have the time to write now. When I do have time im probably found catching up on sleep 😂

I really thought eventually I would come back to writing and don't get me wrong, I have 10000 ideas pinging around my brain and about 15 half finished WIP but the thing is, right now I got to prioritise family time. I am adjusting to life as a mom and just a general different pace of life. I feel it would be rude of my to continue to string people along thinking I will finish your requests or that WIP I've promised may eventually appear. And I guess maybe one day they will. But I can't make that promise and I feel guilty for continuing to pretend I'll get to them eventually. So please, accept my apologies if you were waiting on something. I know a bunch of amazing writers if anyone would like their request passed onto them to be fulfilled!

Second big reason for me leaving writing is .. interaction. The absolute lack of comments, reblog, messages, anything, is unreal. Anyone can click the like button but what writers need is something that makes them feel like you actually read their work, that you enjoyed it, that you want more. Please for those writers you follow, drop them a message about their fics, ask them questions, discuss headcannons, reblog their work, tell them what your favourite line was. Anything! Blind reblog with no comments and likes make writers feel like they put in all the effort for no reward. Interact with your writers people!

So that's what it is. Maybe one day I'll post my writings again, maybe I won't. For now I'll leave you in the capable hands of the incredible Tumblr writers that remain, and again, thank you so much for every comment and reblog. I love you guys!!

[sacrificethemtothesquid]

Hi! You always reblog really nice posts about mental health and writing, and I wanted to ask for advice! I’m struggling to focus on my writing. I spend the day thinking about scenes I want to improve etc, and when I can finally write I start doing something else, and then I waste my time with stupid shit on social media instead of doing what I wanted so badly! Do you have any tips that help concentrating? I turn off my Wi-Fi at times but my brain just keeps telling me to go check twitter or whatever, and I fall for it every time. :/ I write so slowly I lose a lot of nice stuff I make up in my head, I really wanted to get better at this. I love your blog, hope I’m not being annoying!!! Xxx

I am so sorry for the late response to this. I've been wrapped up in offline things and wanted to give you the proper consideration you deserve. You are absolutely not annoying - I'm sorry I've left you hanging for so long!

In terms of concentration, I don't know that I'm the best person to ask. I have an ADHD diagnosis and my meds help me focus. That's the simple answer, which I don't think is what you're hoping for.

BUT that being said, even with my meds, I also do the social-media-instead-of-writing thing and I completely understand how frustrating it is. I have ideas! They're good ones! But they evaporate the second I open the document, and to console myself, I seek out the instant dopamine of tumblr and pinterest, feeling guilty the entire time.

My question for you: are you trying to write everything in a straight line, or are you making notes for whichever scene is currently in your head? If I love a scene but I'm not there yet in terms of the overall story arc, I'll write that as it comes. I think of it as quilting: I come up with scenes like fabric squares, and then I can arrange and stitch them together as the narrative dictates. Sometimes they don't fit, and that's okay. Not all the fabric gets used in the quilt, but the simple act of writing benefits the whole. No writing is wasted.

There was a post here on tumblr that changed my entire outlook on living with ADHD, and it also applies to writing. I can't find the post right now, but it had to do with "junebugging": instead of forcing yourself to do a specific task, ie the dishes, you put yourself in the vicinity of the task, ie the kitchen, and putter around until you eventually get your hands in the sink. In the past, I would have been vicious to myself, cursing myself for my failure to just do the fucking thing, but if I'm a junebug - big and striped and a little dumb - I can bob around the lightbulb, occasionally harmlessly bonking against the glass in my single-minded pursuit of light. It's not my fault my executive function is fucked. It's just the way my brain is wired. Might as well embrace it.

It works for my writing too. If I'm not feeling particularly linear, I'll open the document and poke at what I've already written, or I'll brainstorm new stuff, or stitch some scenes together. I'd love to say I do this without judgement, because my therapist would be proud of me, but although I've gotten much better, I am still working on the whole "radical acceptance" thing.

And radical acceptance: it's hard. It's really hard, but it's so, so necessary. It can be true that you desperately want to write while also being true that you would much rather check twitter. These are not mutually exclusive. I want you to let go of that guilt, if you can. Like we say in my support group, if being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now.

Look at your writing. Ask yourself what is stopping you, what's got you snagged like a sleeve on a doorknob. Are you not sure how to proceed? Does the scene in your head not fit with what you've already written? A piece of advice I got years ago: if you're having a hard time writing a scene, the problem doesn't exist with the scene itself, it exists three pages back. It's like trying to solve a maze: sometimes if you get stuck in a corner, you have to backtrack and find a new path. This might mean getting rid of something you've written - don't delete it. Don't delete anything. Open a blank document and copy/paste it in there. Label this document "bits and pieces". You might be able to use those bits - those quilt squares - later. Another piece of advice: what exactly is the story you're trying to tell? I'm having issues with my novel. It's ostensibly a murder mystery, but the mystery part wasn't coming together until I admitted it wasn't really a murder mystery, but a love story between the protagonists. Admitting that let me change my focus from the whodunit - which I hadn't connected with and felt forced to continue - to the developing relationship, with the whodunit as the vehicle. Now it's working a lot better.

The last thing I'll say is that you might be burnt out. That's okay. Muscles can push against a weight for only so long, and creativity is the same. Are you dreading opening that document? Take a break from it. Junebug. Work on something else. Take a shower. Clean the sink. Read something else you've written. Read something written by someone else. A farmer can't work the same field all the time without the soil getting depleted. It needs some fallow time and maybe a nice cover crop to recover. This is part of the process.

Be kind to yourself, my friend. I hear a lot of pain in your voice and I want you to know that it's all right. It's going to be all right. Even if you're not writing right at this second, you are still a writer. You will always be. Every writer that ever lived has gone through what you're going through. You're never, ever alone.

Take care, and let me know how it goes.

[archive-of-the-incident]

PLEASE CHECK AFTER THIS POST FOR THE POLL WE PUT UP TO SEE WHO’D BE INTERESTED IN WHAT :) We did one and a couple were interested in cheap adopts but that was months ago. Check out the sample arts attached, too which will be posted after this! All of these higher prices might change, too. I also don’t wanna hear any bullshit off “profiting off this situation”. And I didn’t even do anything. But you mfs have proved you’re absolutely insane and will make up anything. I had plans a long fucking time ago, I’m not “profiting” off of anything, you bitches interrupted me and my headmates. Check my tumblr from the beginning.

❌:Me and my headmates will be back to our usual activity, including the plans of cheap, or pretty affordable commissions AND adopts that were mentioned a while back. We just need to finish an art trade and a birthday card and we’ll hop to it.. I am so sorry to Ramona who got her beautiful adopts overshadowed by this bullshit.

Some of our upcoming plans and info

(Note: Customs will always cost more.)

The cheap adopts info-

(Will range from 3 USD to 25-30, it depends. We’re basically going to make a whole price range, less complex adopts on base or not in chibi forms for 3-5 USD at least and the highest I’d ever think we’d go is 30-40 for special events. You have an option to pay for those for much less OR wait for a sale where you could get more content for that price, it’s all gonna depend how we feel. 30-40 would be for complicated hand drawn refs and an added headshot etc. Or, one for 20-25 on base with added on art.

It’s all gonna depend on how well our sales are received. So don’t take any of those higher prices as solidified. All we know for sure right now is that there’ll typically be a lot of 3-5 USD ones along with 10-12 USD. They usually will be that cheap. Our goal is to provide lower prices and discounts out of our own kindness, and because we are in a place where we are financially comfortable and well taken care of, and we just want to give back for that privilege out of our own want, while still making a couple dollars on the side for our system so they can buy things for themselves. And also to get Fawn things as gifts for her hard work in school, and fuel her special interests of course. She has had jobs in physical establishments but they have taken such a toll on her physical health (asthma attacks and more) AND mental health, and she deserves to rest and be able to do art at home or have her alters do it. We’ll actually be living some time in Colombia each year where she’ll be hella pampered like she deserves. So yes, we just want to do a nice thing and also making these specific adopts accessible (you’ll see some of the ideas in a minute :) ) because of how much fandoms or any kinds of special interests/hyperfixations can mean to people, and we wanna give a discount on that.

-Most of our adopt ideas is making feral/furry adopts of who we’re based on and other characters from DFTM OR references (such as mark’s adopts hes planning based off of the movies hes canonically reviewed,) (if anyone is interested,) and again if anyone is interested there will be other fandoms, for those who are also fictives, fictkin of them, or have them as comfort characters.

But that won’t be all we make. We’ll make a variety of things.

Note: Some freebies will be released occasionally. None of our adopts have a schedule.

(VERY GENERAL LIST)

-Warrior cat/other fandom/non fandom oc adopts (Will range from 3 USD to 25-30 USD, it depends. We’re basically going to make a whole price range, less complex adopts on base or not in chibi forms for 3-5 USD at least,

Elaborations: Character based of of “fursonas/feralsonas” being higher priced and with more art, along with characters who are separate of them. but still themed around them at around 25-30 USD maybe? Depends. It would involve chibis, back and front view etc the whole thing.

General common hyperfixation/special interest adopts for very cheap, like for example bug themed adopts, dinosaur themed adopts, etc etc. (You are actually free to request them down below of what you’d like to be done, and it can be reserved for you! This would be cheaper than what we price regular customs at IF you choose artistic liberty or a premade.)

Choose your hyperfixation/special interest, species etc, fully customizable: 20 USD (Off base ref)

Choose your hyperfixation/special interest mystery adopt: 10 USD (Off base ref)

MLP oc adopts- 5-10 USD (Off base)

Farm animal themed adopts - 4-15 USD, maybe 20

HMF furry/feral experiment based adopts- probably 20-25 due to complexity.

Series of adopts that are themed around certain events or references-

Adopts centered around Mark’s movie reviews, like bat furry adopts or knight themed adopts etc. (Mentioned earlier)

Movie themed adopts in general

But they’ll be just as original to where it’s just a fun nod.

And more! Keep in mind we sell and create a variety of things. It won’t just be adopts or just DFTM etc, if you read me trying navigate our next plans to the end, thank you! Polls will be coming in with art example. Check this thread where we try to keep all the info together.

[psychic-refugee]

Thanks to the Anon on @heyharoldsboo 's page who gave me a shout out. Sorry I don’t do Anon Asks, frankly I don’t believe in anons. I barely believe in people who have fully developed blogs that have been operating for years. People curate and create online personas, myself included. It’s smart to not put your real life online. So, I take everything I see and hear on the internet with a grain of salt.

I do very much believe in protecting my peace, however. I’ve seen way too many people get brave behind the anon feature and just go absolutely vile.

As much as I know some anons are sweet and well meaning, “I won’t set myself on fire to keep you warm.” Tumblr and writing are a hobby, my mental health is the biggest source of wealth for me. I’m going to protect it at all costs.

My other justification is that Tumblr is free, it doesn’t cost anything to create a blog and to do the minimal work to make it not look like a porn bot. People can create a blog and ask me things that way if they really wanted to.

Sorry if a newcomer with an empty blog has tried to follow me, I’m pretty heavy handed with the block feature if I presume you’re a porn bot.

I do appreciate the thoughts and shout out.

So, lets talk about Cease and Desist letters. They mean nothing. lol That’s the long and short of it. They’re used as an intimidation tactic. Sometimes the threat of a lawsuit is enough to get the recipient to back down. It’s part of legal theatre.

They are not legally binding on either the sender or the recipient. If the accusers got anything, they could wipe their butts with it for all that it technically matters. You can write as many demands as you want, the recipients have the choice to ignore it. Most firms send it as an extra-judicial way of hopefully avoiding litigation. Why litigate for thousands upon thousands of Can$ if they can just send a warning shot? Sometimes, C&Ds are bluffs. Now, most people would take threats of legal action seriously, but given the accusers’ erratic behavior and immaturity they’ve shown thus far, they could also just as easily dismiss it as a joke.

It’s probably true that they do not have the money for attorneys. By that same logic, they do not have the money to make a suit worth it on PHW’s end. Will he really spend that much money on principals? Not sure a C&D is worth the time and money either.

If they say they haven’t gotten anything, I’m more inclined to believe them.

One anon made a good point regarding addresses. PHW’s representation might be having a hard time locating these women. Assuming he hasn’t spoken to them since high school, we’re talking at least three years. That’s plenty of time to have moved to a bunch of places if they don’t have steady employment. Did they go to university? Are they still in university? Could they be staying with a friend and don’t have a legal address? Could they still list their parents house while they’re living somewhere else?

So far, they’ve done PHW’s legal case more of a favor by continuing to post rather than to go dark. Given how toothless C&Ds are, it’s not worth the billable hours or fancy heavy stock letterhead to write one IMO, plus on top of hiring someone to find them.

I also see these women as being petty enough to have posted the letters if they got them. It’s not illegal to show a letter you’ve gotten. It’s their letter, if they show they got one, then they’re just stating facts. There’s no implied or enforceable gag order on not revealing they got a C&D.

His legal team may not want to prematurely reveal themselves either. Given how volatile Twitter and Tumblr could be, I wouldn’t want to expose my firm to trolls.

C&Ds aren’t required either. If I was going to sue, which they may still be considering at this stage, then I would just serve them an actual complaint. I don’t think a C&D is worth it at this stage if ever.