#i THINK this is everyone she knows/speaks to
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christ-max -mv1
summary: you invite your boyfriend max to spend christmas with you for the first time, however, your family doesn't quite believe you're dating a formula 1 world champion. wc: 5.8k
folkie radio: HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOUUUU! i hope you're having the best day ever with your loves ones. this fic ended up being longer than i intended but i hope you like it!
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
You're nestled into Max's side on his couch, wrapped in the soft throw blanket he keeps specifically for these quiet moments together. The afternoon light filters through the floor-to-ceiling windows of his Monaco apartment, casting a glow across the room. Your feet are tucked under you, and you can smell the lingering scent of the coffee you both made earlier.
The Netflix show you'd put on - some random documentary about deep-sea creatures - has become mere background noise. Max's fingers are threading through your hair in that gentle way that always makes you melt, occasionally stopping to massage your scalp. .
"I can't believe the season's actually over," you murmur, tracing lazy patterns on his arm. "Feels weird not having to plan around race weekends anymore."
Max chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest where your head rests. "Yeah, but now we have to plan around all the end-of-year events instead. Did you see how many galas and ceremonies are coming up?"
"At least those don't involve you flying halfway across the world," you tease, tilting your head to look up at him. His hair is slightly messy, free from its usual styling, and you resist the urge to reach up and run your fingers through it.
"True," he agrees, then glances at his phone on the coffee table. "Speaking of events, I can't believe it's already December. Christmas is going to be here before we know it. Guess time flies when you're busy winning championships."
Your heart skips a beat. This is the opening you've been waiting for. You've been thinking about this for weeks, planning how to bring it up. "Actually… I wanted to ask you something about Christmas," you start, sitting up slightly to face him better.
Max's blue eyes meet yours, curious. "What's on your mind?"
"Well…" you bite your lip, suddenly feeling nervous despite knowing there's no reason to be. "I was wondering if you'd want to spend Christmas with me and my family this year? I know we've kept things private, but I really want them to meet you, and-"
"Wait, really?" Max interrupts, his whole face lighting up with that boyish excitement that made you fall for him in the first place. "You want me to meet your family?"
You can't help but smile at his enthusiasm. "Of course I do. We've been together almost a year now, and they keep asking why I'm always smiling at my phone." You playfully poke his side. "Which is your fault, by the way."
He catches your hand, intertwining your fingers. "My fault? I'm just being my naturally charming self," he grins, then his expression turns slightly more serious. "But are you sure? I mean, won't they be surprised when you show up with, well…"
"With a four-time World Champion?" you finish for him, laughing. "Actually, my dad might pass out. He's been watching F1 since before I was born. He has no idea I've been dating his favorite driver."
Max's eyebrows shoot up. "I'm his favorite driver?"
"Don't let it go to your head," you warn playfully. "But yeah, he's got your merchandise and everything. It's actually kind of embarrassing how much he talks about you during race weekends."
Max throws his head back laughing, and you can't help but join in. "Oh God, this is going to be interesting," he says, wiping at his eyes. "What about the rest of your family?"
"Well, Mom will probably try to feed you until you burst - she's like that with everyone. And my little sister Ruby, she's seven and she's going to have so many questions. She's in that phase where she wants to know everything about everything."
"I can handle questions," Max says confidently, then hesitates. "What kind of questions are we talking about?"
You pretend to think about it. "Oh, you know, probably things like 'How fast have you ever driven?' 'Have you ever crashed?' 'Do you want to marry my sister?'"
Max nearly chokes on air at the last one, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "You're joking, right?"
"About Ruby? Nope, she has absolutely no filter," you laugh, then soften your voice. "But seriously, they're going to love you. Just be yourself - the you I know, not the racing driver everyone else sees."
He pulls you closer, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I'd love to spend Christmas with your family. I can't wait to meet them." He pauses, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Should I wear my race suit when I meet your dad?"
You swat his arm, laughing. "Don't you dare! He'll actually faint." You settle back against his chest, feeling warm and content. "Thank you for saying yes. It means a lot to me."
"Thank you for asking me," he murmurs into your hair. "I love you."
"I love you too," you respond, smiling as his arms tighten around you. The documentary continues playing, forgotten again as you both start planning for Christmas, trading ideas and jokes about how to break the news to your family.
You're sitting cross-legged on Max's bed while he's in the shower, your phone propped up against a pillow as you FaceTime your family. Your mom's face fills most of the screen, with your dad peering over her shoulder and little Ruby bouncing around trying to get a better view.
"Honey, we can barely see you. The lighting is terrible," your mom critiques, and you adjust your position slightly.
"Better?"
"Much better! Now, what's this important thing you wanted to tell us about Christmas?" Your mom asks, while Ruby shouts "Is it presents?" in the background.
You take a deep breath, trying to contain your smile. "Well, I wanted to let you know that I'm bringing someone with me this year… my boyfriend."
There's an immediate explosion of excitement. Ruby starts jumping up and down, your mom gasps dramatically, and your dad's eyebrows shoot up with interest.
"Finally!" your mom exclaims. "We've been wondering when you'd introduce him. You've been so secretive about this boyfriend of yours."
"What's his name?" Ruby pipes up, her face suddenly taking up half the screen as she pushes closer to the camera. "Is he nice? Does he like Disney movies?"
You laugh, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Yes, Rubes, he's very nice. And his name is…" you pause, knowing what's coming. "Max. Max Verstappen."
There's a moment of silence before your dad bursts out laughing. "Good one, sweetheart. Now, what's his real name?"
"I'm serious, Dad. I'm dating Max Verstappen."
Your mom is trying to hold back her laughter now too. "Honey, isn't that the racing driver you and your father are always watching? The one your dad has all those caps and shirts of?"
"Yes, and I'm actually dating him," you insist, feeling your cheeks heat up.
Ruby's face scrunches up in confusion. "The fast car man? From TV?"
"The very same one, Rubes."
Your dad wipes tears from his eyes. "Come on now, what's next? Are you going to tell us you're best friends with Lewis Hamilton too?"
"Dad!" you groan, running a hand over your face. "I'm being serious! We've been dating for almost a year. I'm literally at his place right now!"
"In Monaco?" your dad asks skeptically. "Prove it."
You swing your phone around to show the familiar view of Monaco through the windows, but your dad just shakes his head. "Could be any apartment in Monaco."
"You're impossible!" you huff. "Fine, don't believe me. You'll see at Christmas."
Ruby presses her face closer to the screen again. "Will he bring his race car?"
"No, Rubes, he can't bring the race car," you say, softening your tone for your little sister. "But I promise you'll love him."
After a few more minutes of your family teasing you about your "imaginary Formula 1 driver boyfriend," you end the call with a mix of frustration and amusement. Just as you flop back onto the bed, you hear the bathroom door open and Max walks out, his hair still damp from the shower.
"How'd it go?" he asks, noticing your expression.
You let out a laugh. "They think I'm making you up. They literally don't believe I'm dating you."
Max raises his eyebrows, looking amused as he sits next to you on the bed. "Really?"
"Really. Dad laughed so hard he nearly cried. And Ruby, my little sister, just wants to know if you're bringing your race car for Christmas."
"Sorry to disappoint Ruby," he grins, then looks thoughtful. "You know, maybe we should've waited to tell them in person. The looks on their faces would've been priceless."
"Oh, don't worry," you sit up, wrapping your arms around his neck. "They'll still be priceless. Dad's going to lose it when he realizes all those times he was rambling about you during races, he was actually talking about his daughter's boyfriend."
Max laughs, pulling you closer. "What else should I know before meeting them?"
"Well, Ruby's seven and obsessed with Frozen. She'll definitely make you watch it and probably sing along too."
"I can handle that," he says confidently.
"And recite all the lines?"
"…Maybe not that."
"And act out the scenes with her?"
Max's eyes widen slightly. "What have I gotten myself into?"
You kiss his cheek. "Too late to back out now, Verstappen. You're stuck with us."
"Wouldn't have it any other way," he murmurs, pulling you in for a proper kiss. "Even if it means playing Olaf the snowman."
"Oh no, you'll definitely be playing Elsa. Ruby's very particular about casting."
The look of horror on his face makes you burst out laughing, and soon he's joining in too. As your laughter dies down, you can't help but think about how perfect this feels - being here with him, planning to spend Christmas with your family, even if they don't believe you yet. You can't wait to see their faces when you show up at their door with Max Verstappen himself.
"Hey," Max says softly, breaking into your thoughts. "What are you smiling about?"
"Just thinking about how Christmas is going to be interesting this year."
"Interesting is one way to put it," he grins. "Should I wear my race suit when we arrive?"
"Don't you dare! Dad will actually faint."
"That's kind of the point," he winks, and you grab a pillow to hit him with, both of you dissolving into laughter again.
"Let me guess, another text from 'Max Verstappen'?" your dad teases from his spot at the kitchen counter, making air quotes with his fingers. He's wearing one of his many Red Bull Racing shirts, completely oblivious to the irony.
"Actually, yes," you reply, rolling your eyes. "He'll be here soon."
Your mom chuckles while peeling potatoes. "Honey, you can just tell us who your boyfriend really is. We won't judge, even if he's not a Formula 1 champion."
"Mom, I've told you a million times-"
"LOOK!" Ruby crashes into the kitchen, pointing at the TV in the living room where they're showing highlights from the last race. "It's YN's boyfriend!" She dissolves into giggles, clearly in on what she thinks is a funny joke.
"Very funny, Rubes," you mutter, but check your phone again when it buzzes.
Max: "Just turned onto your street. Nice neighborhood 😉"
Your heart starts beating faster. "He's here," you announce, heading toward the front door.
"Oh, we're still doing this?" your dad calls after you, amused. "Should I get my Max Verstappen cap for him to sign?"
"Actually, Dad, yes, you should," you shout back, slipping on your boots.
"Sweetie," your mom starts in that gentle voice she uses when she thinks you're being ridiculous, "you don't have to-"
The sound of a car pulling up interrupts her. You open the front door and step out onto the porch, watching as Max's car comes to a stop in your driveway. Your family has crowded behind you in the doorway, probably expecting to catch you in your "lie."
Max steps out of the car, looking unfairly handsome in his dark winter coat and scarf. His face lights up when he sees you, and you don't hesitate to run down the steps toward him.
"Hi," he grins, catching you in a tight hug and lifting you slightly off your feet. "Missed you."
You hear a loud gasp behind you, followed by what sounds like your dad choking on air.
"Missed you too," you murmur against his chest before turning to face your family, keeping one arm wrapped around his waist.
The scene on your front porch is priceless. Your dad's mouth is hanging open, his face pale except for two bright red spots on his cheeks. Your mom has both hands pressed to her face in shock. Ruby is the only one moving, bouncing up and down with excitement.
"IT REALLY IS THE FAST CAR MAN!" she shrieks, breaking the silence as she barrels down the steps toward you both.
Max laughs, crouching down to her level. "Hi Ruby. Nice to finally meet you. Your sister has told me a lot about you."
"You're real!" she exclaims, poking his arm as if to make sure.
"Very real," he confirms, looking thoroughly amused.
"I… you… but…" your dad stammers, still frozen in the doorway.
"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. LN," Max says, standing back up and guiding you and Ruby toward the porch. "Thank you for having me for Christmas."
Your mom seems to snap out of her shock first. "Oh my goodness, please come in! It's freezing out here. I… oh dear… the potatoes… I should… more food… I need to…"
"Mom, breathe," you laugh, as Max follows you inside.
Your dad hasn't moved an inch, still staring at Max like he's seeing a ghost. "You're… you're actually… the Brazil overtake…"
"Dad, no F1 talk yet!" you warn. "Let him at least get his coat off first."
"Right! Yes! Coat!" your dad says frantically. "I'll take your coat! And then maybe… could you… would you mind signing my…"
"Collection?" you finish for him, smirking. "The one you thought I was making up?"
Max raises his eyebrows at you, remembering your conversation about your dad's merchandise collection.
Ruby tugs on Max's hand. "Do you want to see my Frozen dolls? And can we watch the movie? Sissy said you've never seen it!"
"Ruby, let him settle in first," your mom calls from the kitchen, where she appears to be panic-cooking. "Oh God, is the food good enough? Do Formula 1 drivers have special diets? Should I-"
"Mom, the food will be perfect," you assure her, then turn to Max. "See? I told you they'd be cool about it."
Max tries to suppress his laugh as your dad continues to stare at him in awe, your mom stress-cooks enough food to feed an army, and Ruby continues pulling on his hand.
"Very cool," he agrees, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Though I think your dad might need to sit down."
"I'm fine!" your dad squeaks, then immediately sits down heavily on the nearest chair. "Just… just give me a minute to process that my daughter is actually dating Max Verstappen and I've been accidentally talking about my future son-in-law during every race and-"
"DAD!" you exclaim, feeling your face heat up while Max chuckles beside you.
"What? I'm just saying… all those times I said 'that Verstappen boy would make someone a good husband someday' and it turns out-"
"Okay!" you interrupt loudly. "Who wants coffee? Max, come help me with coffee!"
As you drag a laughing Max toward the kitchen, you hear Ruby start explaining the entire plot of Frozen to him, your mom muttering about needing to buy more food, and your dad still talking to himself about racing statistics.
"Still think this was a good idea?" you whisper to Max.
He pulls you closer, grinning. "The best. Though you might want to tell your dad to breathe before he passes out."
"Can we build a snowman after coffee?" Ruby calls out.
"Only if Max gets to be Elsa!" you shout back, earning you a playful glare from your boyfriend.
Looking around at your slightly chaotic but loving family, and seeing how naturally Max fits into it all, you can't help but smile. This is definitely going to be a Christmas to remember.
The initial chaos has settled into a cozy scene in your living room. You're curled up on the couch next to Max, who has Ruby practically attached to his side. She hasn't stopped talking since everyone sat down, and Max, to his credit, is giving her his complete attention.
"And then Elsa makes this huge ice castle," Ruby explains, using elaborate hand gestures. "Can you drive as fast as Elsa runs up the mountain?"
"Probably faster," Max answers with a grin, making Ruby's eyes widen.
"Even in the snow?"
"Even in the snow."
Your dad, who's finally regained his ability to form complete sentences, sits in his armchair trying very hard not to bombard Max with racing questions. He keeps opening his mouth, then closing it again when you give him a warning look.
"It's okay, Dad," you laugh. "You can ask him one race question. Just one."
Your dad looks like he might cry from happiness. "The overtake in Brazil-"
"Which one?" Max asks with a playful smirk, and your dad launches into an enthusiastic discussion about racing lines and grip levels.
Your mom returns from the kitchen with a tray of hot chocolate and cookies, having finally accepted that she doesn't need to cook enough food for an entire F1 paddock. "Here we go. I hope it's okay, Max. YN mentioned you like hot chocolate."
"It's perfect, thank you," Max says warmly, accepting a mug.
Ruby immediately reaches for a cookie, then pauses. "Do race car drivers eat cookies?"
"Only the fast ones," Max whispers conspiratorially, making her giggle.
"Ruby, give Max some space to breathe," your mom says gently, noticing how your sister is practically in his lap.
"It's fine," Max assures her. "I have nephews. I'm used to it."
Ruby beams at this information. "Really? Do they like Frozen too?"
"I don't know, but I'm sure they'd love to hear your explanation of it," he says, and Ruby launches into another detailed plot summary.
You catch your mom watching the interaction with soft eyes, all her earlier panic forgotten. She meets your gaze and mouths 'He's wonderful' when Ruby isn't looking.
Your dad has moved on from Brazil to discussing tire strategies, but stops himself mid-sentence. "Sorry, I'm probably boring you. You live this stuff."
"Not at all," Max says sincerely. "It's nice talking about it with someone who understands racing. YN usually just tells me to stop being a nerd when I talk about tire compounds."
"Because you spent two hours explaining the difference between C3 and C4 compounds!" you defend yourself.
"It's fascinating stuff," your dad says eagerly, and Max nods in agreement.
"Oh no, there's two of them now," you mutter to your mom, who laughs.
Ruby tugs on Max's sleeve. "Can we watch Frozen now? Please? You promised!"
"Ruby, let Max rest a bit," your mom starts, but Max shakes his head.
"A promise is a promise," he says solemnly to Ruby. "Should we watch it now?"
Ruby squeals with delight, jumping up to get the remote. Your dad looks slightly disappointed that his racing talk is being cut short, but you can see him hiding a smile at Ruby's excitement.
"Fair warning," you whisper to Max as Ruby sets up the movie, "she knows every word. And she will sing along."
"As long as she doesn't expect me to sing," he whispers back.
"MAX!" Ruby calls, patting the spot next to her on the floor where she's arranged pillows. "You have to sit here! It's the best spot!"
Max obliges, settling down next to her while you stay on the couch, exchanging amused looks with your parents as Ruby starts the movie, already mouthing along to the opening music.
Your mom leans over to you. "I'm sorry we didn't believe you," she whispers. "He's lovely. And so good with Ruby."
"I told you," you whisper back, watching as Ruby explains to Max why Elsa has ice powers.
Your dad joins in the whispered conversation. "Think he'd sign my mug collection later?"
"Dad!"
"What? I'm just saying, Christmas cards would be sorted for the next few years…"
You're about to respond when Ruby shushes you all loudly. "This is the best part!"
Max catches your eye and winks, clearly enjoying himself despite being roped into a Disney movie viewing with a very enthusiastic seven-year-old commentator. Your heart swells watching him with your family, how naturally he fits in, how gentle he is with Ruby.
"Do you want to build a snowman?" Ruby starts singing along with the movie.
"Later, Rubes," you promise. "Let's watch the movie first."
She nods seriously, then turns to Max. "Pay attention to this part. It's very important."
"I won't miss a second," he promises, and Ruby beams at him before turning back to the screen.
Your mom reaches over and squeezes your hand, giving you a knowing look. Even your dad has stopped thinking about racing long enough to appreciate the moment – his youngest daughter sharing her favorite movie with your boyfriend, who happens to be the F1 driver he's been fan-boying over for years.
It's perfect, you think, watching your family and Max together. Different from how you imagined telling them, but perfect nonetheless.
"Shh!" Ruby whispers loudly. "Elsa is about to sing Let It Go!"
Max shoots you a slightly panicked look as Ruby starts to stand up, clearly ready to perform the whole number. You just grin and shrug. After all, you did warn him about the singing.
Later that evening, you finally manage to steal a moment alone with Max. Ruby had fallen asleep during the third replay of Frozen, and your parents took her up to bed before retreating to the kitchen to finish some Christmas preparations.
You find Max on the back porch, leaning against the railing and looking up at the stars. The winter air is crisp, and you can see his breath forming little clouds in the darkness. Quietly, you step out and wrap your arms around him from behind, pressing your cheek against his back.
"Hey," he says softly, turning in your arms to face you. His hands find their way to your waist, pulling you closer. "Needed a little break from being Elsa?"
You laugh quietly, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from his forehead. "You were amazing with Ruby today. I think you're officially her new favorite person."
"She's a sweet kid," he smiles, then adds with a playful glint in his eyes, "Though I didn't expect to watch Frozen two times in one day."
"Just wait until tomorrow. She'll probably want to act it out."
He groans dramatically, but you can see the fondness in his expression. "The things I do for you."
"Mmm, and I appreciate every one of them," you murmur, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him softly.
Max responds immediately, one hand moving to cup your face while the other pulls you even closer. The kiss is gentle and unhurried, full of unspoken emotions. When you finally pull back, he rests his forehead against yours.
"Thank you," you whisper.
"For what?"
"For being so perfect with my family. For watching Frozen multiple times. For not running away when my dad started his racing commentary."
He chuckles, the sound rumbling in his chest. "I like your family. Your dad's racing knowledge is impressive, your mom's trying very hard not to mother me to death, and Ruby…" he pauses, smiling. "Ruby reminds me of Victoria at that age."
You snuggle closer, seeking his warmth in the cold air. "I was so nervous about telling them, and then even more nervous when they didn't believe me. But this… this is better than I imagined."
"Even with your dad asking me to sign his entire Red Bull merchandise collection?"
"Hey, at least he waited until after dinner," you laugh. "Though I'm pretty sure he's in there right now planning which items to bring out first."
Max wraps his arms more securely around you, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I love you," he says quietly, and your heart skips a beat like it does every time he says those words.
"I love you too," you reply, tilting your face up for another kiss.
This one is deeper, more passionate, until you hear the back door creak and quickly step apart.
"Oh!" your mom exclaims, looking flustered. "Sorry, I just… wanted to ask about breakfast preferences… but it can wait… carry on!"
She disappears back inside, and you both burst into quiet laughter.
"We should probably go back in," you sigh, though you make no move to leave his embrace.
"Probably," he agrees, but instead of letting go, he pulls you back for one more kiss. "Five more minutes?"
You smile against his lips. "Five more minutes."
In the quiet of Christmas eve, wrapped in each other's arms, you can't help but think how perfectly he fits into your life, into your family, into your heart. Tomorrow there'll be more Frozen, more racing talk, more of Ruby's endless questions, but right now, it's just the two of you, and it's everything.
The winter sun is just beginning to peek through the curtains of your childhood bedroom, casting a soft golden glow across the room. You're wrapped in warmth, nestled against Max's chest with his arm draped around your waist. His steady breathing tells you he's awake before he even moves.
"Good morning," he murmurs against your neck, his voice still rough with sleep. His lips brush against your skin, sending shivers down your spine.
"Morning," you whisper back, feeling his hand slowly slide beneath your sleep shirt, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin.
"Sleep well?" he asks innocently, but his actions are anything but innocent as he presses closer, leaving a trail of kisses from your shoulder to your ear.
"Max," you breathe, caught between wanting to lean into his touch and knowing you should stop. "We can't… my parents…"
"Then we'll have to be very, very quiet," he whispers, nipping at your earlobe. His hand travels higher under your shirt, making your breath hitch.
You turn in his arms, ready to either give in or properly protest - though the way he's looking at you, eyes dark with desire and that signature smirk playing on his lips, makes you lean heavily toward the former.
"You're trouble," you murmur, reaching up to run your fingers through his disheveled hair.
He leans down to capture your lips in a heated kiss. "You love it."
Just as his hand starts to wander again, a voice pierces through the quiet morning:
"IT'S CHRISTMAAAAS!" Ruby's excited scream echoes through the entire house, followed by the thundering of small feet running down the hallway. "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! SANTA CAME!"
Max drops his forehead to your shoulder with a frustrated groan. "Your sister has impeccable timing."
"Welcome to Christmas with Ruby," you laugh, pressing a consoling kiss to his cheek. "I tried to warn you."
"YN! MAX!" Ruby's fists pound on your door. "GET UP! There are presents EVERYWHERE! And it SNOWED!"
"Five more minutes, Rubes!" you call back.
"NO MINUTES! NOW!" she insists, continuing to knock. "Mom said breakfast is ready and Dad made hot chocolate and I SAW A HUGE PRESENT WITH MY NAME ON IT!"
Max chuckles against your shoulder. "I suppose we should…"
"PLEASE!" Ruby calls again. "I promise I'll let you drink your coffee first!"
"That's quite the offer from her," you tell Max. "She usually doesn't allow any delays on Christmas morning."
"We're coming, Ruby!" Max calls out, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. "Give us two minutes to get dressed."
"TWO MINUTES! I'm counting!"
You can hear her dramatically counting down in the hallway, making Max laugh. "She's serious about this, isn't she?"
"Oh, you have no idea."
The living room is a festival of color and chaos when you finally make it downstairs. Ruby's bouncing by the tree in her Christmas pajamas, while your parents are settled on the couch with steaming mugs of coffee.
"Finally!" Ruby exclaims. "I counted way past two minutes!"
"Sorry, princess," Max says, accepting a coffee mug from your mom. "But I'm here now."
"Max, sweetheart, you really didn't have to get us anything," your mom says, noticing the pile of presents he'd arranged under the tree last night.
"Of course I did," he replies warmly. "It's Christmas."
Ruby's practically vibrating with excitement as your dad starts distributing gifts. "Can I open mine from Max first? Please?"
At your nod, she tears into the elaborate wrapping paper, gasping when she reveals a beautiful wooden chest with golden details. "It's like a treasure chest!"
"Open it," Max encourages, smiling.
Ruby lifts the lid carefully, her eyes widening. Inside is a complete collection of princess dresses, each one a perfect replica from different Disney movies, along with matching accessories and a tiara for each one.
"The chest is magical," Max explains, kneeling beside her. "Every time you open it, there might be a new surprise inside. And look at this…" He reaches in and pulls out a small envelope.
Ruby opens it to find a letter with the Disney castle letterhead. "Dear Princess Ruby," she reads aloud, her voice getting more excited with each word. "You are cordially invited to spend a royal weekend at Disney World, where you will have a private breakfast with all the Disney princesses…"
She doesn't even finish reading before launching herself at Max, nearly knocking him over. "Thank you thank you thank you! Can I try on the Elsa dress right now?"
"After presents," your mom laughs. "Let's see what else Santa brought."
Your dad opens his gift next, finding an envelope that makes him pause. "Son," he says, voice thick with emotion as he reads the contents. "This is…"
"VIP passes to the British Grand Prix," Max confirms. "Including garage access, grid walk, everything."
Your dad has to sit down, clutching the passes like they might disappear. "This is… I can't…"
"And this," Max hands him another package, "is just a little something extra."
Inside is a vintage racing jacket from your dad's favorite driver from the 80s, signed and authenticated. Your dad actually tears up.
Your mom opens her gift next, despite protesting again that Max shouldn't have gotten them anything. She unwraps a beautiful pair of earrings.
"Oh, Max," she whispers, "This is beautiful."
Ruby, who has been surprisingly patient, tugs at Max's sleeve. "Can we do my princess breakfast now?"
"After we finish presents," you laugh. "And maybe we should have real breakfast first?"
"But I'm a princess now," she declares. "Princesses have special breakfast times."
Your mom shakes her head fondly. "How about pancakes fit for a princess?"
"With chocolate chips?" Ruby negotiates.
"With chocolate chips," your mom confirms. "Max, honey, how do you like your pancakes?"
"However they're made is perfect," he assures her, but your mom is already heading to the kitchen, muttering about making sure she has enough chocolate chips.
Your dad finally finds his voice again. "Max, this is too much…"
"It's not," Max says firmly. "You're… you're family now. Or at least, I hope…"
He glances at you meaningfully, making your heart skip a beat.
Later, after pancakes and multiple princess dress changes from Ruby, you manage to steal some time alone with Max in your favorite spot on the back porch. The morning sun has warmed the air slightly, but there's still a crisp winter chill that gives you an excuse to stay close to him.
"Your turn," Max says softly, pulling out a small wrapped box from his pocket.
Your hands tremble slightly as you unwrap it, revealing a velvet jewelry box. Inside is a delicate silver necklace with two intertwined pendants - a heart and a tiny racing helmet.
"Max," you breathe, touching the pendants gently. "It's beautiful."
"Look at the back," he says quietly, his voice carrying a note of nervousness you rarely hear.
You turn the heart over to find an engraving: "You're my biggest victory. -MV"
"I love you," you whisper, pulling him down for a kiss. His arms wrap around you, holding you close as if you're the most precious thing in his world.
When you finally part, you hand him your gift - a wrapped box that makes him raise his eyebrows at the weight.
Inside, he finds a handmade scrapbook filled with your personal moments - sneaky paddock kisses, quiet mornings at home, victory celebrations, and candid moments no one else has seen. The final page holds a photo from yesterday - Max on the floor with Ruby, both laughing during their third viewing of Frozen.
"This is…" he starts, voice thick with emotion.
"Wait," you say softly, reaching into your pocket. You pull out a key on a simple keychain. "I thought… maybe… if you wanted…"
"Move in with you?" he finishes, breaking into that brilliant smile that never fails to make your heart race. "Yes. Absolutely yes."
He pulls you into another kiss, deeper this time, one hand cradling the back of your head while the other holds the key carefully.
"MAX!" Ruby's voice carries from inside. "I need help with my Cinderella shoes! And then we have to build a snowman! A FROZEN snowman!"
You both laugh against each other's lips.
"Duty calls, Elsa," you tease.
"Only if you'll be my Olaf," he grins, pressing one more quick kiss to your lips.
"Always," you promise, letting him lead you back inside where Ruby waits, already changed into her third princess dress of the morning.
Your dad catches your eye as you pass, "If you don't marry this boy," he whispers, "I will."
"Dad!"
"I'm just saying," he shrugs, then heads outside to join the snowman-building committee.
Your mom appears at your other side, wrapping an arm around you. "He's right, you know. He's perfect for you."
You lean your head on her shoulder, watching Max let Ruby direct him on where to place the snowman's arms. "I know," you smile. "I know."
"Best Christmas ever?" she asks softly.
Looking at your family, and Max in the middle of it all, belonging there like he's always been part of it - you smile.
"Best Christmas ever," you agree.
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfiction#formula 1#max verstappen#max verstappen smau#max verstappen fic#f1 x reader#f1 fanfiction#formula 1 fanfiction#formula 1 x reader#max verstappen fluff#mv1 x reader#mv1 fanfiction#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen smut#f1 grid x reader#harrysfolklore#max verstappen fake instagram#max vertsappen fic#f1 smau
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One of my favourite things about Arcane is that all the couples can be read as toxic, which is GREAT.
I'm tired of people bringing morality debates into dark media. Let dark media be fucking dark. You guys wouldn't survive a day in the TMA fandom, needing everyone to be as good as gold. How are they going to make for enjoyable complex characters if they're not morally grey. In fact, I wish there'd been more expansion on just how morally black they can become!
"CaitVi is so toxic" According to lesbian statistics, that sounds just about accurate. 💀 Heck, I wish Caitlyn had done more (Not really, but it would have been nice to further explore the darkness in her heart). Isn't it adorable how she immediately folded as soon as Vi called her cupcake? Caitlyn's like one of those villains that will consistently do the most....until it comes to someone else hurting her girlfriend. The only one allowed to hurt her girlfriend is her. 💀
Then let's talk about Vi. Someone pointed out how Vi never cared about Zaun's independence in the first place and many people yelled that they were wrong. But actually, they were right. Vi never wanted Zaun. Zaun was Silco's dream, and Jinx inherited that dream cause Silco would never shut up about it. Vi wanted Piltover to take responsibility for all the shit they allowed to happen in the Undercity. That's a part of the reason she joined up with Caitlyn in the first place. Let's not forget she wasn't dissuaded when she dragged Jayce down to fight with her and he killed a child. Children been dying, it's been her whole life. Someone needed to do something about it, and Zaun would have just isolated the people from all the privileges that Piltover SHOULD have been providing for them. Some people just can't accept that Independence cannot in fact solve every problem, and sometimes independence is colonisers running away from the responsibility of fixing the mess that they started in the first place.
Besides, we all know Vi joined up with the Enforcers because "I feel like I am worthless if I can't be of service." She'd already run out of family members to serve, Caitlyn was the next best thing. She's just like Jayce.
And speaking of Jayce, let's talk about his violent levels of codependency with anyone who'll give him attention. People LOOOOVE to talk about Mel, but it's there with Viktor too. When bro wasn't basing his worth on his inventions, he was centering it around Viktor.
Viktor who decided at some point in his life that he would not LIVE without Jayce. He was fine dying without him, but living without him was unacceptable. Oh how healthy. 🙄😂 Viktor be the kind of toxic ex to threaten divorce 500 times over, then burn the world when you actually leave him. Jayce is no better cause he's the kind of guy to keep going back to his toxic Ex.
Yes, Mel is manipulative. That's what I love about her. How are you guys failing to give this woman the praise of being an outsider in Piltover, but running their entire council. 💀 Girl raises her hand once and the whole government starts spinning. She was the best sugar mummy Jayce and Viktor could ever ask for. She kept the whole city running. Literally the entire of Piltover dancing on her palm. And yes she manipulated Jayce but let's not forget she thought that was a love language. 💀 You wanna be mad at someone, be mad at Ambessa for raising her that way.
I also don't think it's fair to blame her for the Undercity situation, she's not native. Monkey see, monkey do, and not a single one of those Council members actually cared about the situation down there, it was deplorable. 💀 Jayce did way more in his two weeks as Councillor than any of those drug pushing, money laundering, Piltovian heads of government.
And that just covers MelJayVik, we don't even need to get fully into TimeBomb, cause we know what's wrong there. 💀 Surely we have not forgotten the many teammates Jinx has killed, but making sure to never kill Ekko cause that's her man. Ekko has a lot to unpack, like how his consistent and unwavering love for Jinx is an indication of a lot of doors he might not be ready to open. I know they dynamics go crazy and I love to see it.
Ambessa and Sevika are a crack ship but I'm sure we all know bedroom dynamics go crazy with Mrs. Warlord and Miss Liberation. I love it when characters clash in a toxic heap. It's insane and should be explored.
Quit saintifying my toxic ships with your woke morality debates. If you want everyone to be sunshine and rainbows then you should be watching literally anything else. 💀 "It's not healthy." GOOD, I like it that way. 💀 Angst, spice and trauma are the recipe for a plethora of explorative fanfiction. Any of their dynamics can be taken in any toxic direction and I want that EXPLORED.
#arcane#arcane netflix#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#vi arcane#violet arcane#jayce arcane#jayce talis#caitvi#caitlyn x vi#vi x caitlyn#viktor arcane#viktor x jayce#jayce x viktor#meljayvik#meljay#jayvik#timebomb#ekko x jinx#jinx x ekko#ambessa x sevika#ambessa medarda#arcane ambessa#I'm gonna need Arcane fans to quit ruining the opportunity to get dark fics out of all this
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WHOOPS I posted a bit out of order sorry O///O
Part 10
The quiet conversations slowed for a moment when there was a polite but hesitant knock on the door. When I opened it, a tall soul with a slender frame looked down at me.
“I'm sorry to bother you,” came a polite, soft-spoken voice, “but… I'm not sure where I am, or how I got here.”
“Please, come in, and I'll try to explain.” As the soul passed under the lintel, I started to close the door when I heard another voice.
“Wait!”
Another soul came running up to the cafe, and I gestured for them to come in. “Welcome, please come in.” The two souls followed me to the counter where they seated themselves, looking at me anxiously. “Coffee or tea?” I asked, as was my habit.
“I don't suppose you've got a beer?” asked the soft-spoken soul.
“‘Fraid not. This is a cafe, not a tavern.”
“Coffee then, please, with vanilla creamer and syrup if you have it.”
I looked at the other soul. “Coffee with sugar.”
Nodding at the two, I began to speak as I prepared their drinks. “I know this all seems a bit strange, but this cafe is a waypoint on your journey.”
“Journey? I don't even know where I am or how I got here!” the second soul exclaimed.
“I understand,” I began, but the second soul exploded again.
“No, you don't!” The soul jumped to their feet, sending the stool clattering along the floor behind them. “You don't know what's going through my head right now! You don't know shit!”
Out of the corners of my eyes I saw a few patrons rise to their feet, but I shook my head ever so slightly. “You're right, I don't know what's going through your head,” I said calmly. “But I'd like to try to help you, if you'll hear me out.”
The soul looked aggravated but gave a short nod.
“You're here because something happened to you. This cafe is between the realms of Life and Death. Think back; what's the last thing you remember?”
The soul seemed to breathe a bit harder, and anger was etched into their face. “Why should I tell you? What does it matter?!”
“Because she wants to help,” came a gentle voice. Both the soul and I turned to the first soul who had come in. “I remember being in pain, my body felt like it was on fire and like I was being stabbed with needles radiating out from my back.” The soul paused, and there was complete silence as every patron in the cafe watched the three of us. “I remember my family telling me they loved me, and going to sleep… and then I found myself walking and realized this cafe was where my feet were taking me.”
The soul looked at me. “I'm dead, aren't I?”
I nodded, my smile gentle and sad. “You are. The door you came through is the door to Life. The other door,” I nodded at the opposite end of the cafe, “is the door to Death's realm and whatever afterlife awaits you. I do not know what you will see when you go through it, but you are welcome to rest here as long as you like.”
The soul nodded their thanks, but the more aggravated soul wasn't satisfied.
“So that's it? I'm dead? I'm dead and you don't know what's gonna happen to me. That's all I get?” A fist slammed down onto the counter, making the cups shake. “This is bullshit!”
“Hey now, let's try to breathe a bit here, buddy.”
A familiar voice came from Life's door, and I saw Deadpool saunter through as everyone's attention turned to him. He came right up to the soul who'd been shouting and stood toe to toe with them. “Being dead isn't cool, I know. But you know what's even less cool? Taking your anger and fear out on someone who's trying to make this transition easier for you. Now, I'm gonna count to four, and you're gonna breathe in. Then I'm gonna count to four again, and you're gonna breathe out and relax. You with me, friend?”
“And if I tell you to fuck off?” came the terse reply
“Then you're no longer welcome in this cafe,” I answered, “and I tell you to fuck off, at which point you are escorted out. You're not the only one who's had shit happen to them.”
The soul looked at me and then back at Deadpool and made a frustrated noise of acquiescence.
“Glad to hear it, pal.” As Deadpool led the soul to a more quiet part of the cafe, I turned to the soul who'd intervened. “Thank you for jumping in,” I told them. “I'm sorry for your passing and losing your loved ones, but I'm glad you're not in pain anymore.”
The soul gave a pained smile. “I have to tell you, I was expecting something a little… different after my life on Earth had ended.”
“That's not the first time I've heard that,” I chuckled. “If I may ask, what faith or spirituality did you follow?”
“I was—am—Christian. No offense, but I was hoping to see the Pearly Gates.”
“You may yet see them,” I answered. “I have no idea what waits on the other side of that door. You're welcome to stay here as long as you wish.”
“Do I get free refills?”
This time I laughed. “Of course. I'll even throw in a couple of cookies.”
“That sounds like a deal!”
You run a café on the edge of life and death. Souls who have been departed from their bodies temporarily, such as in comas or near-death experiences, can relax in your quaint cafe for as long as they need before they can either return to their bodies or begin their journey to the afterlife.
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yapper
part two - part one here
barcelona femeni x reader requested
summary: the girls stick up for you during an interview
a week after the locker room moment, you feel better.
alexia’s words, esmee’s hug, and the love from your teammates reminded you that you belonged here, loud voice and all. but still, the memory of the online comments lingered. so, when you found out about the team interview, a little knot of anxiety formed in your stomach.
“just don’t overtalk,” you whispered to yourself in the mirror that morning.
“let alexia speak. everyone loves alexia.”
the studio is bright, with a camera crew buzzing around as you, alexia, ingrid, aitana, mapi, and esmee take your seats in front of a large barça logo. everyone is wearing their kits, and the energy is playful as you adjust your boots for the camera.
alexia sits to your left, esmee to your right.
“okay, everyone ready?” the interviewer asks with a cheerful tone, and you all nod.
“first question: who on the team is most likely to get a red card?”
everyone bursts into laughter before mapi speaks up.
“irene.”
“cata,” aitana adds, grinning.
“definitely cata,” ingrid agrees, nodding.
you laugh along with them, keeping your comment short.
“yeah, those two for sure.”
the interviewer smiles, moving to the next question.
“who on the team is most likely to be late to training?”
“ona,” aitana says immediately.
“no, no,” mapi protests, “it’s salma.”
“keira?” ingrid adds thoughtfully.
“oh, keira, yeah,” alexia agrees.
you can’t help but chuckle.
“we’re just exposing everyone right now.”
the conversation bounces back and forth before the interviewer jumps in again.
“who on the team is most likely to score a bicycle kick?”
“kika,” everyone says in unison.
you frown dramatically, pretending to sulk.
“i miss oshoala, she scored an amazing one last season.”
everyone laughs, nodding in agreement.
“we all miss her,” alexia says with a small smile, her voice softening.
the interview moves quickly, and you focus on staying in your lane, letting others speak. but then the question comes.
“who on the team is most likely to give a 20-minute speech on a random topic?”
before you can even react, mapi jumps out of her seat, raising her hand.
“me!”
everyone laughs, including you, but then you hear alexia.
“it’s not you. it’s y/n.”
your eyes widen, and before you can even respond, she continues.
“but don’t worry, because everyone on the team would sit for those 20 minutes and listen happily.”
esmee wraps her arm around your shoulder, pulling you into a hug.
“period,” she says, earning more laughter from the group.
mapi leans forward, looking straight at the camera. “los que odian deberían estar agradecidos de escuchar tu voz.” (haters should be grateful to hear your voice.)
you can’t help it—you laugh, covering your face with your hands for a second. the moment is too much, too kind.
the interviewer grins, clearly enjoying the dynamic.
“okay, next question. who is most likely to have the most screen time on their phones?”
everyone looks around, unsure.
“esmee,” you say, pointing at her without hesitation.
she nods solemnly, admitting defeat.
“yeah, it’s me.”
the room erupts in laughter.
“who is most likely to cancel plans at the last moment?”
“caroline,” mapi says, almost immediately.
“and marta,” ingrid adds with a laugh.
“yeah, those two,” alexia agrees, shaking her head fondly.
“who is most likely to have 500 contacts in their phone?”
you don’t even hesitate.
“alexia.”
she gasps, turning to you with mock outrage.
“me? no way. it’s you.”
you shake your head, laughing.
“alexia, you know everyone!”
“and you don’t? all that time in england? don’t act innocent.”
the back-and-forth makes everyone laugh, and you feel a small swell of pride.
“who is most likely to know all the new tiktok trends and dances?”
“vicky,” you say without thinking.
“100%,” esmee mumbles.
“she does it in the locker room a lot.”
ingrid giggles. “it’s true. she’s always dancing.”
“who is most likely to get a terrible tattoo?”
your eyes shift to mapi, and everyone follows your gaze.
“none of your tattoos are terrible,” you clarify quickly,
“but you’re most likely to get a bad one since you have the most tattoos, if that makes sense?”
aitana nods.
“no, that makes sense.”
mapi shrugs, clearly unbothered.
“fair.”
“who is most likely to get a yellow card?”
“y/n,” they all say in unison.
you groan, throwing your head back.
“i hate that i can’t even argue that.”
the final question is the easiest.
“who is most likely to win the 24/25 women’s champions league?”
“barcelona!” everyone shouts and yells, and you jump up, running to the camera.
pointing to the badge on your chest, you grin.
“vammoossss!!!”
the interview ends with laughter and smiles, and as you walk off the set, alexia drapes an arm around your shoulder.
“see?” she says softly.
“no one’s annoyed by you. they love you. we all do.”
you nod, the warmth of her words settling deep in your chest. you’d never forget it.
masterlist
#barcelona femeni#woso fanfics#woso community#woso x reader#fc barcelona#esmee brugts#alexia putellas#ingrid engen#mapi leon#aitana bonmati
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theyre in my head. forever. take some scraps
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc gangle#tadc jax#tadc zooble#tadc pomni#before anyone speaks up i am a lesbian pls dont point out the dyke part#i simply think he could be lesbian material. is he? no#i personally see him as very questioning and weird. too stunted with too many walls for romance#begrudgingly accepts friendships and maybe gets One close enough that gives him a weird. moment. realization#kicks his ass into gear that oops cant be driving them all away now or ill wanna kms#i wish i was capable of multishipping bc ribbun has some funny potential but man.#as is its too Not For Me. but gangle beating on jax for revenge is sooooo funny#also the fact ragatha and jax are the same person in different flavors? delightful.#both hiding themselves to such an extent that the one everyone knows isnt Real.#rags hiding herself through helping others while jax does it through pushing them away viciously and acting out#despicable. they care for each other in their own weird way.#she hates him but doesnt want him to die. she hates him but if something happened then she would be worried.#thanks for reading my rambling
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I specifically want to elaborate on this part:
Decontextualizing and rephrasing an interview: I am not going to pretend that I am an expert in academic best practices, but I do believe one thing, if a person is speaking on their own identity and lived experience, it is always much better to directly quote than it is to rephrase. As I read this source, I initially didn't know that it was AI, and I was already upset. An interview that is widely available on the internet with no pay wall, was poorly sourced and made more vague than it was in the initial text. By creating one degree of seperation between the original words of A WRITER (whose literal job was largely based in choosing the right words to describe experiences they had) harm is already done. It makes vague what was once clear, and removes Keri Hulme's voice from her own narrative.
As someone who has spent a LOT of time and effort on the nitty-gritty of quoting others in professional documents, I feel like I have a pretty good foundation on which to speak about this.
As a general rule, you want to directly quote the speaker as much as possible.
First and foremost, this is because you don't want to put words in their mouth or misrepresent what they said, as that's dishonest on your part as the interviewer/writer/etc, and harms your credibility. Remember the "Coolsville sucks" meme? Yeah, don't be that person. Quotes should be full and verbatim as much as possible, because anything else presents the possibility that you aren't accurately or fully representing what the speaker said.
The second reason is because when you re-word someone else's quote, you inherently inject your own biases into the new version you create. What that means is, consciously or unconsciously, you are influencing the way readers perceive what was said. This is bad because at best, you're speaking over the person who's quote you re-worded. At worst, you're manipulating your readers to think as you do, regardless of what the original quote said.
When presenting a quote from someone else, your job is to communicate as clearly as possible the speaker's original statement and intention. If giving the direct quote is not possible, careful paraphrasing is vital.
If I say "Sara James then went on to express her dissatisfaction with the pay she received", what would you assume the original quote is?
It could be "Yeah, I found out I was only getting paid ⅓ as much as my costar, even though I have 40% more screen time and I did almost all of my own stunts, so needless to say I'm not happy and I've been talking to my team."
But it could ALSO be "I was surprised when I found out what we were all getting paid. Not to sound like a total nepo baby or anything, but normally the projects I do pay more, y'know? But then I found out that the reason pay was lower for everyone - not just me - was because production was donating a whole bunch of money to the local children's hospital since we filmed in the lot next door. Which I thought was really cool of them! Like, obviously the hospital doesn't get much say in the filming, so I thought it was really cool of production to give back as, like, a thank you. Plus we got to go visit the kids, which was just amazing!"
TECHNICALLY in both of these, you could argue that displeasure about pay IS mentioned - but the specifics of the situation are entirely lost in the oversimplified paraphrasing, and THAT is why changing direct quotes can be dangerous.
So, yeah. I just wanted to elaborate on that particular point because it's one I covered *heavily* while in college. How you quote someone is important.
":')))))))) you realise that gen AI is available to everyone though right??? Queer creators can use it just as much as anyone else??? I just don't understand this post... It really feels like a cheap way to get on the 'AI Bad's bandwagon, and coming from such a thoughtful and insightful creator that's incredibly disappointing... It's okay to not comment on subjects you're not an expert in y'know...?"
Y'all know the drill, I am replying to this publicly but that is not an invitation to send any negative messages to the person I am replying to.
Anyways, let me start by saying that the original context of the post you're replying to is discussing an event where a queer org used generative AI to steal an interview with Keri Hulme. So let's start there. To be clear I don't even know if the original interviewer was queer so let's put the identities of stealer and stolen from to the side. I want to explain the harm done in this example specifically and I hope this is illustrative of what harm generative AI can (and does) do.
The original place I saw generative AI was a queer org that explicitly says they are using generative AI "for good", and as a way to bring more queer history to light. So let's take them at their word, and assume they are not out to cause harm. This is the best example of generative AI that I can imagine, so I hope that makes it clear that I am not coming at this issue from bad faith in any way.
Here is the harm they are causing:
Decontextualizing and rephrasing an interview: I am not going to pretend that I am an expert in academic best practices, but I do believe one thing, if a person is speaking on their own identity and lived experience, it is always much better to directly quote than it is to rephrase. As I read this source, I initially didn't know that it was AI, and I was already upset. An interview that is widely available on the internet with no pay wall, was poorly sourced and made more vague than it was in the initial text. By creating one degree of seperation between the original words of A WRITER (whose literal job was largely based in choosing the right words to describe experiences they had) harm is already done. It makes vague what was once clear, and removes Keri Hulme's voice from her own narrative.
The original interviewer is not paid, or given proper recognition: I get it, sometimes just copy pasting an interview doesn't feel transformative enough, but something that one would learn if they worked in the queer history field and weren't a literal robot rehashing what has already been said, is that not everything needs to be transformed. In those cases, we give credit to the person who said the original words (in this case Keri Hulme), and the interviewer who facillitated the conversation (in this case Shelley Bridgeman). This case (again a best case scenario), takes the attention and byline away from the original interviewer and gives it to an AI.
The original publisher of this story is deinsentivised from paying interviewers in the future: The original publisher of this interview has ads on their website. As a person who also has ads on their website, taking an article like this and rephrasing it for no good reason (the orginal word count was not prohibitive and the rephrasing did not make it more readable), takes money from the publisher. It's pennies, but it's also removing numbers could have been used to justify further interviews with asexual people and archiving of asexual stories. The org that stole from this publication does not interview people themselves so the money and numbers that could have gone to continue to preserve asexual stories goes to stealing them instead.
These are just the active harms that I saw in this specific case. As you said, I am not an expert in generative AI, and will not be speaking as if I am. But I will say that asking me not to speak out on active harm that is being caused in queer history spaces, is disrespectful to my many years in this field.
To illustrate this even clearer: if you were a patron, you would know I recently took down an old article. I have been rereading and editing our backlist of articles, and I found one that no longer fit my standards of sourcing. My standards had recently raised due to a video made by HBomberguy about someone in the queer history space who was stealing from other creators. I watched this video not as a work project, but because I watch most of HBomberguys videos, and this one made me think more critically about sourcing. An AI can't do that. All an AI has is what has been inputted, and it is right now impossible to input every available peice of information about ethics into an AI and get a coherent ethical basis on which it will function.
It is a distinctly human trait to absorb information and change in that way. AI can rephrase information that already exists, steal it, recontextualize it even, but it cannot create something altogether new.
Do I believe that there one day might be an ethical use for Generative AI? Maybe. Do I believe that coming into a queer history space, stealing the words of a Maori asexual author, rephrasing them, and giving the original interviewer and publication no form of compensation for their work, is accomplishing that? No.
On a more personal note: I am coming at this issue with a bias. As a queer history creator, I do not want AI in my space, because it is literally damaging to my financial prospects. It has been like pulling teeth to try and get patrons in the current state of the global economy. I don't blame anyone from that, but I feel very disrespected that I am being asked to compete with a machine now. Not only that, but I am being asked to shut up and be fine with it? No, absolutely not. I cannot and will not stay quiet as space that I have fought tooth and nail to create in mainstream discussions is taken and given to AI.
AI was not supporting me when I was sent gore to try and scare me off of discussing queer history. A person did that. AI was not there to tell me I had written too many sad stories, and I needed some happy endings to remind myself of the good in the world. A person did that. AI was not there when I was being harrassed for supporting and including asexual stories on my website. A person did that.
And after all that, I am being asked to lie down and take it when my ability to pay the people who supported me in those ways, is being threatened. Nope. Not going to happen.
An AI doesn't have to make rent. An AI doesn't understand what it feels like to have to stop holding their wife's hand in public. An AI didn't get calls from people needing comfort in reaction to the election. Pay me for my work, and get this AI nonsense out of my face.
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Cindy Lou Who
james potter x slytherin!female!reader
summary: you and lily have been polar opposites from birth, disconnected in everything. but when the one thing she has crosses the bounds, you can't avoid it even if it destroys you.
warnings: eventual smut! 18+ heavy angst, cursing , jealousy
a/n: it's part 2! no, its not a dorcas and y/n love story.
i hope you enjoy and you can fw it or not, not my issue.
—
The journey to James's parents’ cabin had already been a nightmare in the making, but the fact that you somehow found yourself stuck in the car with the Marauders made it feel like the universe had personally conspired against you. It was as if Lily was trying to send a message to make you never speak to her again.
Ten minutes earlier:
You stepped off the train, dragging your suitcase behind you, and made your way toward Lily and her usual entourage. You could already feel the tension between you and the rest of the group, but at least Lily was there to distract you.
"Ah, Y/N!" Lily cheered, her arms suddenly wrapped around you in a hug. You stiffened slightly, offering an awkward smile as she pulled back to look at you. Her grin continued to grow, "We were just discussing seating assignments," She explained, glancing at the group, which was all standing around and debating loudly.
"I voted for apparating. It's quicker, and no one has to listen to Sirius whine the entire time," James grumbled, shooting an annoyed look at Sirius, who was lounging against the wall with an exaggerated sigh.
"Well for one, your apparating skills absolutely scare me," Dorcas chimed in.
Mary snorted. "Yeah, I’m pretty sure we'd show up without a neck if either of you tried to apparate us," She said, resting her head on Dorcas’s shoulder, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she looked over at the two boys.
Sirius immediately recoiled, "Excuse me? Leave me out of this, my apparition skills are impeccable if you ladies must know," He said, puffing out his chest and sticking his tongue out at both of them.
Marlene chuckled, chiming in, the sound light and teasing as she looked at you. "Yeah, I think we need someone with actual skill, not just a big ego." She glanced at Sirius, her eyes twinkling with amusement.
Sirius shot her a playful glare, but his lips twitched as though he might actually be enjoying the banter. "You wound me, Mar. But I’ll have you know, I’ve never left anyone in a heap of twisted limbs," He said, half-defensive, half-proud.
You sighed, clearly tired of their antics as Dorcas spoke again, "Okay, okay, if you two are done with the theatrics, how about we get someone who actually knows how to apparate without leaving us in the wrong century?"
Sirius raised an eyebrow dramatically, looking at you, "Well, actually, someone insists that ‘bonding time’ means suffering in cramped cars with people you barely know, which is really quite charming," He said as if everyone was meant to agree with his sarcasm.
James shot a playful look at Lily, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Don't blame my little Lily-bear for her big heart," He teased, only for her to stomp on his foot, causing him to yelp.
“I don’t even understand why we discussed apparition in the first place,” Lily huffed, annoyed, “We are driving and that is final.”
You snorted at the sight, feeling momentarily distracted from the impending doom of the ride. Mary, ever the voice of reason, cleared her throat. "Ok Mother, back to the cars. Who's in which?"
You raised an eyebrow, scanning the group with mild skepticism. "Can any of you actually drive?" The question hung in the air, and for a split second, the group fell into silence, as if your voice had been the last thing they expected.
"Well, Remus and I can," Dorcas answered with a grin, clearly amused by your audacity. "And James already asked his parents to send over two cars," She added, her eyes twinkling.
"Wow, loaded with money, Potter?" You teased, turning to James, who shot you a mockingly smug grin.
"Don't act like you didn’t know," He replied with a wink as if he always knew how to make your sarcasm work in his favor.
"And how many people can each car fit?" Mary asked, eager to move things along.
"Four each, including the driver," James answered, his voice laced with confidence.
"Well, this is perfect!" Lily exclaimed happily, her voice full of relief. "Peter can't make it anyway, so Y/N can take his spot!"
Your stomach twisted. "Excuse me?" You nearly gagged, your face contorting in disbelief.
Lily’s eyes softened with an apologetic look. "Oh, don’t worry! They won’t bite, I promise," She assured you, gesturing to the Marauders, who were now standing off to the side like a haphazardly formed band of troublemakers.
You couldn’t hide the disgust that flashed across your face as you looked at the group. The thought of being stuck in a car with them—all of them—felt like some cruel twist of fate. “Can’t you just ride with the boys?” You asked, crossing your arms and giving Lily a pleading look.
Lily hesitated for a moment before offering a sheepish smile. “I could, but I kind of want you to get along with them, Y/N. I really don’t want to force you into anything, but they’re good people underneath the mess," She said sincerely, rubbing your palm comfortingly.
You felt the pressure building. On one hand, you wanted to be a complete brat and insisted that you’d rather take your chances with a single, less painful car ride with the girls. But on the other, you knew this trip wasn’t about you. It was Lily’s weekend, and you couldn’t spoil it just because the Marauders were a walking headache.
"Actually, Lily, it's fine," You sighed, rolling your eyes. "It’s just a four-hour car ride. I’ll survive."
Lily looked at you, her eyes full of sincerity. "Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable—"
"Yes," You groaned dramatically, cutting her off. "But if you ask me again, I will change my mind."
Lily’s face lit up with a sweet, relieved smile. “Thank you, Y/N,” She whispered in your ear, pulling you into another hug.
You smiled faintly despite the dread that churned in your stomach. You lightly pushed her off, trying to hide the weirdly sentimental feeling. "Let’s get this over with, then," You muttered, grabbing your luggage and marching toward the exit.
As you walked out of the station, you could hear the sound of the Marauders’ footsteps trailing behind you, their chatter and laughter loud enough to make you wince. Your fate was sealed, and you had no choice but to endure the upcoming car ride with them.
But who knew? Maybe the next four hours wouldn’t be as bad as you were imagining.
--
Thirty minutes into the car ride, and you were already questioning every decision you’d ever made in life.
For one, Sirius and James hadn’t stopped talking since you left the station. It was like they were competing to see who could out-talk the other, their voices blending into an incoherent mess of loud jokes, sarcasm, and the occasional burst of laughter. You swore you could hear Sirius’s voice every five seconds, but it was impossible to tell what he was even saying.
The only bearable one in the bunch was Remus—the designated driver, who for the most part, was quietly focused on the road. He had a way of staying out of the chaos, and you were thankful for that. If he’d joined in, you might have just jumped out of the car.
Unfortunately, luck had not been on your side, and James was sitting right next to you. Of course, he was. As if this trip hadn’t already been your own personal hell, the universe had decided it would be even more fun if you were forced to endure James’s company.
The luggage was shoved behind you both, making the car feel cramped in every possible way. And somehow, the small space between you and James seemed to grow more suffocating by the second.
It wasn’t like you hated him—well, maybe you did a little bit right now—but he wasn’t exactly your favorite person to be sitting next to. Especially in a tiny car where you had no choice but to pretend that everything was fine.
And to make matters worse, James had been sneaking glances at you every couple of minutes. You could feel his eyes on you, even when you kept your focus fixed firmly on the road ahead, your chin resting in your palm as you leaned against the cool window, trying to ignore the constant pounding in your skull.
You tried your best not to react. You weren’t about to make eye contact with him or give him any reason to think you wanted to engage. The last thing you needed was him making some stupid comment about how uncomfortable you were being, as if that would make it any better.
But no matter how much you ignored him, you could still feel him there, like a weight pressing on your chest.
You wondered—truly wondered—how you had managed to get yourself stuck on what was likely the worst trip in the history of trips. It wasn’t even like you’d had a choice in the matter.
You were thinking that perhaps you should've grabbed a book from your bag or even your Walkman from home.
Anything to avoid the chaotic, uncomfortable mess that was currently your reality.
But then again, you still wanted to make Lily happy. It was her weekend, and you knew how much this trip meant to her.
And you knew you had to endure this for her, even if that meant suffering through endless hours of loud barking and James Potter’s stupid glances.
But you were starting to develop a newfound dislike for the countryside and for the stupid cabin you were heading to, and especially for James Potter and his stupid face.
You were stopped in your train of thought by the loud crunching in your ears as you looked beside you in disgust to see James eating Sour Cream & Onion chips loudly.
You had hoped that James would choke on the chips he was shoveling into his mouth right then and there, but he was luckily immune to your silent prayers. Instead, his eyes flicked over to you as he extended the bag in your direction, his mouth still full.
“Want some?” He asked, chewing loudly, completely oblivious to the venom in your stare.
You groaned, slumping back in your seat and closing your eyes, hoping that maybe—just maybe—you could escape the situation by sheer force of will. But no. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough to get rid of James Potter. You could still feel his gaze on you, heavy and unrelenting, like a hot spotlight.
“You know,” James continued, completely oblivious to your very clear displeasure, “You could be a little nicer.”
Before you could respond, Sirius—who had been quietly enjoying the chaos—turned around in the front seat, his usual shit-eating grin plastered across his face. “Slytherins are incapable of that. It’s not in their blood.”
You rolled your eyes, but before you could snap back, Remus muttered a resigned “Sirius,” trying to rein him in.
You leaned forward, making sure your voice was dripping with sarcasm as you met James’s gaze, “And Gryffindors are incapable of not being complete and utter twats.”
James’s eyes lit up with amusement at your choice of words. You could see the smug little grin forming at the corner of his mouth, like he was proud of his ability to get under your skin.
“Ah, she speaks!” He said dramatically, as if this was some huge victory. You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes and groaning. “I was beginning to think you were either deaf—or perhaps a robot.”
Your eyes narrowed as you leaned in just a little closer, meeting his gaze, keeping it steady. “I believe you’ve got something right here.” You moved in slowly, and you could see his face flush just slightly, his lips parting as if he was about to say something.
You didn’t give him the chance. “Right here…” You muttered, keeping your eyes locked on his, before quickly flicking your finger against his forehead.
James immediately shot his hand up to his forehead, wincing as though he’d been hit with a particularly nasty spell. You couldn't help but smile brightly, crossing your arms triumphantly. You were winning.
Sirius, of course, couldn’t help himself. He started laughing so hard it almost sounded like he was barking. “Wow, Y/N—1, Prongs—0!” he whooped, throwing you a thumbs-up from the front.
You heard the nickname, but your victory felt too sweet to care about it right now. You were too busy basking in your small but satisfying win. Maybe it was the most minor of triumphs, but seeing James’s smug confidence deflate for even a moment was pure, unadulterated joy.
James, still rubbing his forehead, pouted dramatically. “Good to know," He muttered under his breath, though you could hear the faint hint of amusement in his voice. “That’s what makes you happy.”
You leaned back in your seat, your grin never wavering. “You have no idea, Potter,” You said, crossing your arms again, feeling very much like you’d won the game.
You suddenly decided to just take a nap for the remaining two hours of the trip, head leaning against the cold window.
At least then, this trip will be bearable.
--
"Aww, isn’t this a sight for sore eyes?" You heard a voice mutter, and your eyes blinked open to see Sirius staring down at you with that signature smirk of his.
You hummed in confusion, realizing that your head was no longer against the window but resting on the broad canvas of a shoulder and jaw.
Your eyes widened as you quickly snapped up, inadvertently knocking your head into James's chin. He groaned in protest as you hissed from the pain in your own skull, rubbing it with one hand.
Sirius barked out a laugh, the sound loud and unmistakably amused. You shot him a death glare. James whined like a child. "Couldn’t you have just gotten up softly?" he asked, tending to his chin as if it were more damaged than it likely was.
"I was repulsed," You said bluntly, crossing your arms over your chest.
James smirked, clearly enjoying your discomfort. "Didn’t seem that way with your head on my shoulder," He teased, and before you could stop yourself, your fist landed squarely in his shoulder. He groaned dramatically.
You hated how easy it was for him to tease you, it was almost as if he didn't hate you as much as you hated him.
"Shut up, Potter," You muttered under your breath, a small smile tugging at your lips despite yourself.
Finally, Remus got out of the car, and you were beyond relieved to be able to stretch your legs and get out of the cramped space. As you stepped out into the fresh air, you were hit with the sight of the cabin—a massive wooden oak structure that dwarfed most houses you had seen. Of course, it shouldn’t have been a surprise with James's family wealth, but it was still impressive.
"Admiring something?" James’s voice called out from behind you, and you turned to see him watching you with that grin of his.
You stepped toward him, eyebrows furrowing. "We were trapped in a car for four hours together, and you still want to annoy me?" You asked, annoyed.
James’s grin only widened, something almost unreadable flickering in his eyes. "It’s just so fun," He said sweetly, his tone laced with something that made you furrow your brows deeper.
He moved past you with that same self-assured confidence, and you couldn’t help but watch him for a moment, your mind swirling with an odd mix of curiosity and frustration.
What an odd boy.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of loud cheers, and you turned to see Lily and the other girls finally arriving at the cabin. Lily immediately rushed over to you, throwing her arm around your shoulders. "This is going to be so fun!" She exclaimed excitedly, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.
Your expression remained indifferent as you shrugged off her arm. "Sure it will, Lils," You said, barely hiding the boredom in your voice as you moved past her toward the cabin entrance.
Inside, the cabin was everything you expected—grand yet homely. Fairy lights twinkled on the ceiling and wound their way along the railings of the stairs, casting a warm, soft glow. A beautifully decorated Christmas tree stood in the corner of the living room, and the fireplace was already crackling with flames, filling the air with the comforting scent of wood smoke.
You couldn’t help but admire the place, its charm undeniable.
Okay, maybe you were admiring it a little more than you wanted to admit.
As much as you wanted to keep exploring the cabin, you couldn’t help but feel the overwhelming desire to just collapse into a bed and escape the chaos for a bit.
The car ride had been long—four hours spent crammed between the Marauders and Lily, with Sirius and James' constant bickering as background noise. You could already feel the tension in your shoulders from it.
You made your way up the stairs, eyes scanning the doors with name cards carefully placed next to them. It was so Lily to do something like that—everything organized to the tiniest detail. When you reached your door, you saw your name beside Dorcas’s.
You hadn’t spent much time with Dorcas, but from what you’d gathered, she was a bit of a mystery.
She was quiet in a way that was similar to you, but then, the next moment, she was all sharp humor and a wild streak of extroversion. It was interesting to watch her switch between the two.
You just hoped she didn’t have any issue with Slytherins. You’d heard whispers from some Gryffindors, and while you liked to think you were nothing like the stereotypical Slytherin, you still didn’t feel like being judged by a new person.
James and Sirius were already enough of a headache on that front.
You pushed the door open and stepped into the room, instantly relieved by the sight of two beds with nightstands and soft lamps. It was cozy—nothing too extravagant, but warm. There were two separate closets as well, and a part of you actually sighed in relief. Privacy. That was something you valued deeply.
"Thank God for separate closets," Came a voice from behind you, and you turned to find Dorcas already standing in the room, “Sharing a closet can drive me absolutely nuts, I need the privacy,” She added. You hadn’t even heard her come in. Her eyes were fixed on the closets, and somehow it felt like she’d read your mind. "As do you," She added, her voice light and as if she head read your mind.
"I—I do," You stammered, caught off guard.
Something about Dorcas always made you feel a little out of your depth, though you weren’t sure why. She had this way of being so at ease with herself, and it was hard not to be a little intimidated.
Dorcas just shrugged, as if your reaction was nothing new. She walked over to the bed, settling herself against the headboard with a relaxed sigh. "Honestly, I’m glad we’re rooming together. That car ride was chaos. I’m not sure I’ve recovered yet."
You chuckled awkwardly, the tension still clinging to your limbs. "Agreed," you muttered, fiddling with your bag as you unpacked some of your things into the closet. You felt Dorcas’s eyes on you, but when you looked over, she was giving you a teasing smirk, as though she could see right through you.
"The Marauders weren’t too insufferable, I hope?" She asked, already knowing the answer.
You laughed dryly. "Well, Remus was a saint," You said, trying to keep it light. "Black and Potter, though? Bloody migraines." You sighed, shaking your head as you hung up a few shirts. "I don’t know how they do it. They thrive on being insufferable, I swear."
Dorcas let out a soft laugh, a mix of amusement and sympathy. "That’s their usual act," She said, as if it were the most predictable thing in the world. "Don’t worry—you’ll get used to it. Or at least, you’ll stop being surprised." She shifted, lying back and staring up at the ceiling, her hands behind her head.
You looked at her, unsure if you were ready to get used to them.
It's like she could read your expression or your thoughts in general.
Dorcas gave you a quiet smile. "You’ll get there," She said with surprising wisdom for someone who seemed so carefree. "Just don’t take it too seriously. They’re all talk."
I hope I never do, you thought, but kept it to yourself.
You couldn't help but think of how you would ever survive this entire trip. In all honestly, you would rather have spent it with Petunia degrading you.
And you were incredibly worried that the tension in your spine would always still there.
You looked at Dorcas questioningly, "Do you think this trip is going to be fun?" You asked, your voice quieter now as you paused in the middle of unpacking.
Dorcas rolled over onto her side, propping her head up with one hand as she looked at you with a thoughtful expression. "I think it'll be interesting. Not sure if 'fun' is the word I’d use. But you never know. It’s a change of pace, at least." She smiled. "One thing’s for sure: it’s going to be memorable."
"Let’s hope it’s the good kind of memorable," You muttered, smiling slightly despite yourself.
"Trust me, I’ve got a feeling this is going to be one for the books," Dorcas replied, giving you an amused look.
You gave Dorcas a slight smile as you both suddenly heard a thump downstairs and several voices of laughter as Dorcas stood, smiling, "Think I'm gonna check up on everyone down there, wanna come?" She asked, looking at you.
You fake yawned, stretching out on the bed. "I think I'll actually take a nap, feeling quite drowsy," You said, trying to keep the tone casual.
Dorcas gave you a smile, but there was a flicker of disappointment in her eyes. "Okay," She replied softly before turning and heading for the door. She closed it behind her, leaving you alone in the room.
You sighed, rubbing your forehead. Dorcas was nice, but you really didn’t feel like hanging out with the whole group right now. It was just too much.
You reached for your backpack, hoping to lose yourself in time with a book. But when you opened it, your stomach sank. No books.
"Fuck," You muttered, frustrated. You never forgot your books. You always packed them, even for short trips.
You flopped back on the bed, groaning. This wasn’t going how you’d planned.
After a few moments, you grabbed your toiletries and towels.
Screw it.
A shower would help clear your head.
You turned the tap, and the hot water came on quickly. Stepping into the stream, you let the heat wash over you, hoping it would erase the tension from your body.
The noise of the water filled the bathroom, and for a moment, everything felt quiet.
You sighed deeply, letting go of the frustration. It wasn’t ideal, but you’d figure things out later. For now, you’d let the world outside the bathroom fade away.
After a nice, long shower, you slipped into a soft nightgown, figuring you wouldn’t be going anywhere tonight. The warmth of the cabin made it easy to settle in, and you were content with some peace and quiet.
But as you put your things down, you suddenly heard Lily’s voice ringing out from downstairs.
"AAAAAH!" Her scream echoed through the house, followed by frantic footsteps.
You froze, heart racing. Was she hurt? You quickly rushed out of your room, ready to help. The moment you reached the top of the stairs, though, you saw her laughing hysterically in the living room.
"I told you she would come down!" Lily called, gleefully looking at James and Sirius, her hand outstretched for galleons.
You blinked, your heart slowing as you saw the grin on her face. "What the hell?" You muttered, out of breath.
James was looking at you in wide-eyed awe, but you couldn’t help noticing how your nightgown was just a little too revealing—way more than you’d planned for. The last thing you needed was to give James any more ammunition.
"Really, Lily?" You scoffed, already turning to head back upstairs.
"Wait!" Lily rushed to you, her eyes pleading as she grabbed your arm. "Just come hang out for a little bit!"
You immediately thought 'Fuck no!' but then you thought,
It's her trip.
You glanced at her, and despite everything, her puppy-dog eyes got to you. "I suppose.." You muttered, giving in.
Lily squealed, her excitement infectious as she pulled you downstairs. "We’re about to start the puzzle!" She said with a huge grin.
You raised an eyebrow, not sure whether to laugh or groan. "A puzzle?" You teased. "Are we in fourth year?"
Lily pouted. "Stop being such a buzzkill."
Marlene leaned over from the couch with a smirk. "Lils always makes us do something childish on the first night. Gets it out of our system before the real fun starts."
"Exactly," Mary added. "A bit of innocence before we dive into the chaos."
"And so she doesn’t feel guilty when we get wild later," Sirius teased, his grin mischievous.
Lily stuck her tongue out at them. "I do it because it’s fun! And once we finish, we can glue it and hang it up. Isn’t that cute?"
James groaned dramatically. "But Remus and Dorcas always do the best work, and the rest of us just give up."
Lily shot him a look. "Not this time. This time, we all finish it fast."
Well, that didn’t turn out to be the case.
Lily had, of course, accidentally bought a 900-piece puzzle, and it was much more complicated than anyone had expected.
You, Remus, and Dorcas were the only ones making any real progress. You were surprisingly good at it, which seemed to amuse everyone else. The three of you worked mostly in silence, with you passing pieces to Remus and Dorcas helping out when necessary.
Meanwhile, the others had either given up or wandered off. Lily, Marlene, and Mary were baking cookies, and Sirius was napping on the couch, his loud snoring filling the room.
But, as always, James was not one to leave you alone for long.
"How are you guys still working on that?" He whined, popping up beside you and peering over your shoulder. "It’s annoying and difficult!"
"Just like you," You muttered with a sly grin, not looking up from the puzzle.
James’s started smirking. "Sorry, what was that?"
You scoffed, "Just like y-"
Before you could finish your sentence, James was behind you, fingers digging into your sides, tickling you mercilessly. You yelped, trying to push him off, but he only laughed louder, his hands relentless.
Dorcas and Remus exchanged amused glances, clearly entertained by the scene unfolding.
"Say it again!" James demanded, his voice obnoxiously loud.
You gasped for breath, trying to squirm away from his grasp. "Stop it, Potter!" You barely managed to keep your voice serious, but it came out more like a laugh.
"Okay, say I’m the most brilliant person at Hogwarts!" he pressed, his grin wide.
"I will never say that!" You laughed, finally able to wiggle out of his grasp.
"Come on!" James pushed, tickling you more.
"Okay, okay!" You cried, laughing helplessly. "You’re the most brilliant person in Hogwarts, now get off!"
James finally relented, sitting back with a smug smile. "That’s what I thought."
You quickly adjusted your nightgown, your face flushed with embarrassment. You couldn’t believe you just got into a tickle fight with James Potter—of all people.
Lily appeared, her eyes gleaming mischievously. "What just happened out here?" She asked, her voice teasing. "I heard you laughing."
You turned away, trying to hide your embarrassment. "You didn’t hear anything."
"Actually—" James started, but you punched him lightly in the knee, making him wince.
"—I heard nothing," He corrected quickly, his voice strained as he rubbed his leg.
Lily flashed a knowing smile. "Sure," She said, winking at you before heading back into the kitchen.
You groaned inwardly. This was only the beginning, and already Lily was convinced you were best friends with her friends.
Your mind drifted back to earlier, to James’s behavior and how Lily always seemed to indulge him. It left a bitter taste in your mouth.
"I'm heading up," You said abruptly, not waiting for an answer as you made your way to the stairs.
"But the cookies aren’t ready yet!" James called after you, his voice almost pleading.
"Enjoy them when they are," You snapped, already heading up to your room.
As you reached your door and flopped onto your bed, you let out a long, frustrated sigh. This was going to be a weird trip.
#singmyaubade#james potter#marauders era#harry potter#marauders#hogwarts#hp#james potter x y/n#remus lupin#tw mature#james potter x reader#toxic!james#toxic!reader#james potter x you#marauders x reader#james potter smut#james potter x female!reader#harry potter marauders#the marauders#marauders imagine#marauders smut#lily evans#sirius black#y/n l/n#y/n moment#peter pettigrew#james & peter & remus & sirius#marauders fandom#dead gay wizards#marlene mckinnon
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Danny X Cass Part 4
They arrive at the pantry in just a moment. Danny, Cass and the rest of the batfam go to take their seat while Clark and Diana go to make some teas and snacks. Danny and Cass sit beside each other with the other side of Cass being Spoiler. Opposite of Danny is Bruce while beside him are Nightwing and Robin. Red Robin takes a chair and sits right behind Batman while still taping on his wrist computer.
Batman, Nightwing and Robin keep staring at Danny while Clark and Diana prepare the snacks and teas but Danny doesn't look nervous at all. As much as Danny wants to take all of them seriously, he really can't when he knows what he knows.
A moment later Clark and Diana come with 2 trays of snacks and teas and put them on the table. They take a chair each and sit near the end of the table. Clark and Diana can feel the intense glares from 3 bats. Both of them glance at the target in question and they can see that the guy takes the glare with stride. It's like the person that is being glared at is someone else.
Suddenly, a loud ding sounded in the room. Danny takes out his phone and a grin spreads on his face. Danny shows the screen to Cass and she also releases a few giggles. Feeling the glares becoming more intense, Danny puts his phone on the table and lets everyone see what he is seeing.
On his phone is a selfie of Dan holding a bloodied Darkseid in one hand with a caption "Can't even give out a decent fight. Even Boxy is a better sparring partner than him." Another message entered Danny's phone and there is a selfie of Elle with Danny's clone bitch slapping Trigon in the background. "This place is so cool. You gotta bring me here to play more." Danny shows the rest of the heroes that the deed is done and they finally relax. Clark stands up from his table and goes back to the other room to inform the other heroes that the threat had already been taken care of.
Danny then puts back his phone and continues drinking his tea. Heh. They might think that they are being scary but they don't even know even now Danny is still flirting with Cass. That's one of the benefits of being able to read the opponent's body language and ghost speak. To others holding hands is just holding hands but to them, holding hands can be used to convey all of your emotions.
They stay like that for a while longer until Clark returns from the other room. Seeing Clark fully seated, Bruce finally speaks.
"Who are you really?" Bruce asks with the most intimidating voice he can use.
"Didn't I say? I'm Danny Phantom. High King of Infinite Realm etc etc. I have a lot of titles but the high King one is the only important one." Danny says carelessly.
"How old are you?" Bruce asks.
"20"
"Impossible." Red Robin suddenly interjects.
"Why is it impossible?" Danny looks curiously at him. He genuinely doesn't know why it is impossible.
"There are records of you all across time all the way back to the ancient human. There are even traces of you in multiple pantheons." Red Robin says.
"Oh, you mean that. Duh, it's easy. I time travel. It's quite easy to time travel when your pops is the master of time." Danny says.
"But didn't you say Clockwork hates when someone messes with time?" Superman asks.
"If there is a time traveler that messes with the timeline, who do you think will deal with the guy? It certainly ain't that old man. He sends me to deal with the time traveler/magician who are trying to change the timeline." Danny says.
"Is Clockwork your father then?" Diana asks.
"Adopted parents. He is my parents/mentor for anything ghost related. Well actually for most things related except personal human problems." Danny says.
"How long have you known Black Bat?" Nightwing asks. Finally the real question.
"Wait, I think 10 years now. You are 21 right Cass? I remember when I first met her she was being chased down by this weird ninja. After I shot a few of them down with my Fenton Taser, Cass handled the rest of them. She then passed out from exhaustion and I brought her to my secret hideout (A cave Danny found just then). After a few days, Cass fully recovered and since then, she and I have been meeting every few months whenever she comes around."
"Also, I know all of your real identity. The phrase 'Dead man tells no tales' is a complete bs by the way. The ghosts really like gossiping. Like that one time I heard a ghost say that he sees Bruce fall into the dumpster because his grappling hook is jammed. Or that one time Dick got catcalled by an old lady."
The bats (except Cass)froze when they hear that Danny knows their secret identity. Bruce sighs and takes off his cowl followed by the rest of the family.
"Do you also know my identity, Danny?" Clark asks.
"Yes, I know you Kal-el. Your parents are very proud of what you have become."
"You met Ma and Pa?"
"Your biological parents."
"You- you've met my parents?" Clark's voice shakes. Danny nods while smiling warmly.
"If you want, I can set up a meeting with your parents. Not for long of course. It's not good for a mortal to be inside the realm for too long. And that invitation extends to all of you."
Most of them stilled at that invitation.
#danny phantom#dead silent#danny x cass#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#batfam#cassandra cain#justice league
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family outing | t. fushiguro
authors note: happily holidays freaks.
summary: toji decides to take his pretty little stepdaughter out for a picnic
pairing: toji fushiguro x stepdaughter!reader
wc: 4k
warnings: smut under the cut + dark content (stepcest) + public sex + spitting + pussy/ass eating + mating press + breeding kink + comparison + dumbification + dacryphilia + ‘daddy’ + creampie + overstimulation + infidelity + praise + degrading + squirting + age gap (15 years) + slut shaming + lmk if i missed anything mwah
others: inspired by these videos: 1 2, unedited
toji never really cared for your mother. she was decent, had a good job and held his attention for long enough. it didn’t take a genius to know you hated her, though. you were hostile whenever you were home and spent most of your time far away from her in the mansion you called home.
you were home for your brief holiday before you began grad school, and toji had failed to keep his eyes off of you from the beginning. when he came home to were laying on a pool chair wearing the tiniest fucking bikini he’s ever seen. you’d barely looked over your sunglasses to greet him. that was the first time he wanted to bend you over, though excitedly not the last.
you barely spoke to anyone while you were home despite your mother pestering you about getting to know toji. they got married while you were out of the country, not that you’d bothered making an effort to see her or him anyway. however, toji was enjoying watching you shift in false discomfort when your mom suggested you two go off and do something together while she works. he watches the way your legs cross and your eyes light up albeit subtly. that’s why he takes the perfect opportunity to smile evenly at your mother.
“we could go out for a picnic. it’ll be an easy way to get along. everyone likes food.” toji’s lips quirk up into something more sinister, but no one seemed to notice but you. you arch an eyebrow at him and glance down at your phone briefly for the time. “it’s almost 4, a little later for lunch don’t you think? plus, it’s getting dark soon.” excuses. toji clicks his tongue in false approval, knowing damn well you’re trying your best not to be alone with him. and you are. because you have no idea what you’ll do if you’re left with him.
“you afraid of the dark, sweetheart?” he snarks easily at you, jutting his chin slightly. you puff air from your nose, rolling your eyes irritatedly at him. oh, how he wished to make them roll differently. “no. i'm worried about the people wandering parks at night.” oh? toji smiles but decides against voicing the nasty thought that ran through his head. “listen, we’ll head out to the park and you can go ahead on to work. don’t worry about us, honey. we’ll get along just fine.” toji’s eyes cut to you briefly as he speaks but most of his words are focused on your mom.
oblivious to the rising tension between you two, she smiles and claps her hands excitedly. “good! good! okay, i really have to go but i love you two. send me pictures and be safe!” she kisses the side of your head (much to your dismay) before kissing toji. she’s out of the door faster then you can blink and you slowly realize exactly what you’ve gotten yourself into. toji watches you carefully before he decides whether he wants to make his next move now or later. your legs are tensing, he can see that because of those tiny fucking shorts you have on. you’re biting down on your lip and scrolling aimlessly on your phone.
he steps closer to the couch and hesitates, looking down at you before resting his hands on your shoulders. “i think you should go get ready,” he purrs, letting his hands slide forward just slightly. you jolt but pretend that you hadn’t, swallowing thickly. “don’t need to stay out late, you know. we don’t know who might be wandering the park at night.” suddenly you hate yourself for speaking earlier but also thank yourself because the chills running down your spine are unimaginable.
"you're right." you murmur in response. "maybe we shouldn't go at all, would be much easier." you side-eye him out of the corner of your eye. toji ignores how you're glaring at him, settling for leaning down to whisper in your ear. "i'm going to put some finger food in one of those cooling bags your mom has. by the time i'm done, you better be down here. understood?" his voice is light, but there's a certain edge to it that makes you sit up straight.
you swallow and turn to face him fully. you've given up on distracting yourself with your phone, your heart is fluttering and your pussy clenching at his tone. "whatever." your voice shakes but you ignore it for the sake of your sanity. toji's jaw clenches but he doesn't work to say much. you finally stand to push past him on the other side of the couch, glancing up at him briefly as you go.
toji felt irritated, but he decided it was all in due time. he'd have his way with you one way or another. and this stupid little date would be perfect. perfect for him to fill your cunt.
that's exactly how you found yourself on your stomach, clawing at the blanket toji had oh-so gently sat down earlier. his strong hands grip the fat of your ass cheeks, spreading them so he can spit on your asshole. you clench subconsciously, whining softly at the foreign feeling. "shut up." toji hisses as he watches the glob of spit slide from your asshole and down your already wet folds.
"you're already showing me this fucking hole in public, you wanna get caught too? fucking slut." his words go straight to your pussy as it clenches around nothing. his tongue slides around the skin near your asshole. he teases you with long slow licks nearing closer and closer to your puckered hole. he wants to ease his fingers inside your ass and threaten to fuck the tight hole, but he needs to know how your cunt feels. he needs to know how tight the pussy you've been teasing him with is.
you dig your face impossibly deeper into the soft blanket underneath you. your fingers are already clenching the blanket and if you moan any louder someone will know exactly what's going on in your little secluded section of the park. toji's ministrations don't cease at your whines. instead, he slips his tongue in your ass while his fingers dig into your ass cheeks to pull them apart further.
"pretty fucking ass." he mumbles, pulling away briefly to admire the slick forming. "you've never had this ass eaten before? tell me, baby." you tilt your head back briefly to attempt to make eye contact with him, but this notion fails when he places harsh smacks on both of your ass cheeks. your back bends as you moan with a shaky hand covering your mouth.
he watches your ass and pussy clench around nothing, begging to be filled. toji traces his fingers along your pussy lips, laughing darkly when your cunt twitches in anticipation. "don't be a slut, baby. wait patiently and i'll give you what you want." the words are ironic coming from him because if it was up to him, he'd have fucked you into the ground by now. however, you looked so fucking good and you deserved to be ruined. so he'd ruin you.
his fingers slowly slide into your cunt, eliciting a loud squish! as they enter you. somehow there's already cum sliding down his fingers and he lets out the harshest scoff. "how long has it been? barely started eating this-" he emphasizes his point by thumbing at your asshole. "fucking hole and the other one 's wet? slutty, slutty baby. should've fucked you sooner."
if you weren't already feeling the effects of toji on you you'd have refuted his claim. he shouldn't have thought of fucking you at all...but you liked it. you wanted your stepdad to take time out of his day, out of his work week to fuck you. you wanted to feel bad and be scared to get caught as he filled you the exact way you needed to be filled. you wanted to sob an cry while his cock stretched you beyond what you’re used to.
toji’s tongue returns to your ass while his fingers slowly begin to pump in and out of you. his tongue ignores the resistance of your hole, pushing through to lick sloppily at the inside. every time his tongue slips inside it comes back out with a soft pop!, and the sound mixes with the loud wet noises coming from your poor cunt. toji’s fingers start to pick up the deeper he begins to get in your ass.
toji shifts slightly from behind you, adjusting to he can use his free hand to put his thumb in your ass. he laughs at the way you clench around his fingers. you’re so fucking needy. your pussy sucks his fingers in deeper every time he pulls out to thrust back in. “you always this fucking tight? or you just been waiting for this?” you whine, freeing your hand from your mouth to grip his wrist.
“i haven’t-! no! i’m not like that!” you cry desperately. toji snorts, pulling his thick fingers out of you to watch your reaction. your hips stutter, pausing briefly before shaking back against him to search for that fullness you’d lost. “‘not like that’? this pussy’s hungry for me and i ain’ even fed her properly. do you dream about this?” you shake your head again, parting your lips to argue with him when he shoves his fingers back into you.
you cry out again, softer this time despite your lack of secrecy the second he slipped his fingers into your cunt. toji laughs, kissing up your neck and across your jaw before landing at the corner of your lips. “shhh, baby girl.” he coos, kissing your lips as his fingers begin to piston in and out of you. your moans are swallowed my his hungry lips as they move against yours, sloppy and uncoordinated kisses being exchanged between the two of you. toji’s tongue slides against your lips before finding its way inside your mouth, wrapping around your tongue sloppily. you groan louder when his fingers find that spot deep inside of you, roughly pressing at the soft spot.
your hips twitch erratically at the newfound pleasure of having your g-spot abused. toji pulls away from your mouth, watching the fucked expression on your face as he dug his fingers further in you. he watches the way your eyes water and your lips pout before parting into a ‘o’ shape. you’re so fucking pretty, he really just cannot help himself. “behave and i’ll let you cum the first time.” he purrs sweetly, pressing a kiss to your parted lips.
toji doesn’t give you a real chance to reply. by the time you’ve barely come to your senses to reply, you feel his hot tongue nudging its way back into you. his fingers pump into you in quick, short pumps as his tongue assaults your asshole. he pulls away to spit harshly onto your open hole, chuckling lowly to himself as it winks back at him. you’re overwhelmed. you’ve never had someone pay so much attention to your ass, let alone lick at it like you’re some kind of dessert. you push your ass further into his face, desperate for the feeling to continue.
you start to feel that burning feeling in your tummy, your heart’s pounding and you temporarily forget you’re outside. you’ve forgotten toji’s words about being quiet but you still find yourself covering your mouth. this feels wrong, but it feels so so good. you sob loudly as a third finger slides into your pussy, glancing back at toji who only meets your gaze. you can see the smugness in his face and it does little to nothing to deter your orgasm. your face pinches, thighs tensing as the burning sensation overcomes you. “‘m gonna- oh fuck!”
the noise that leaves your throat is inhuman. you rock forward at the strength of your orgasm as your cunt flutters around toji’s fingers. you thought he’d stop but you can still feel his fingers pumping in and out of you still. toji’s tongue somehow finds itself deeper into your ass as you cum. the sensation renders you speechless, your voice escaping you. “don’t worry baby we’re not done.” toji shifts behind you, sliding his fingers from your drooling cunt. he presses a wet kiss to your asshole before pulling away completely. he spreads his fingers to watch your slick nearly keep them together, thick strings of cum spreading between each finger.
“don’t spent too much time coming down. i still have to fuck this pretty pussy.” he slaps your pussy for emphasis, laughing when you find your voice again to whine at the pain. "no toji. can't" you mumble into the blanket. your chest moves rapidly as you try to gather yourself. despite your protests, your pussy clenches as the cold air hits you with toji moving out of the way. your hips jut much to your annoyance, hips shifting forward and away from imaginary fingers.
"shh, sweet girl. daddy's gonna give ya what ya need." he murmurs, laughing to himself when your asshole clenched. toji teases your pussy, sliding his fat tip up and down your pretty, drenched pussy. he watches as his tip starts to glisten from your slick, the way his cock slides easily against you from how wet you are. he slaps his cock against you one more time before he decides to pull away, a sly smile tugging at his lips.
he slaps your ass with a sense of finality, gripping your hips. "turn over, baby girl. c'mon. don't make me wait." you push up on shaky arms to turn yourself over. somehow, the top of your sundress had stayed up and you were hoping he'd allow you that sense of conservation. knowing toji, though, he wouldn't. and he didn't. the second you turned over his hand was on the top of your dress, pulling it down to free your tits.
toji palms your tits roughly, pulling at your nipples as he ground his cock against you. his eyes flicker over you, the way your lips are parted and drool escapes them. he watches your lashes flutter as you blink in a futile attempt to become more aware. your dress is a little damp from both of your fluids, and your pussy looks so so pretty in this position. he's won the jackpot, he thinks. if only he married this pussy.
"enough. you ready for this, pretty girl?" you grunt harshly under him, glancing up at him to nod. toji slaps his cock against you one more time before beginning to slide into you. his fat tip begins to press into you, forcing a soft sob from your throat. it's an uncomfortable feeling because he's so big. you've been fucked before—plenty of times—but toji's cock is stretching you wide enough for you to be nervous. he'd had you on your stomach so long you hadn't gotten a chance to see how big he was. clearly, he was big enough to split you in half.
"toji..” you pause to frown up at him. “‘s not gonna fit.” he's nearly as thick as a soda can and long enough for you to be concerned. still, you peek at him through your lashes to beg him to stop or slow down. toji only rolls his eyes. "we're gonna make it fit, pretty baby. can you do that f'me? hmmm?" he settles his hands on either side of you, leaning down to brush his lips over yours. your eyes shift over his face, flickering up to his eyes before slowly making their way down to his lips.
if you hadn't gulped already toji would be convinced you were joking. you were questioning the fit but the way you were squeezing him--the way you gushed, toji knew you weren't scared. his hips shift as he pushes further into you. he smashes his lips against yours before you can cry out, quieting your moans and loud pleas. he knows you can take it because you're his good girl. you'd just have to prove it. "tight fucking cunt." he hisses against your mouth, shifting his hips forward once more. "not even halfway and she's tryna bully me out. why 's that, hm? she too shy? can't take this fucking dick?"
you whine against his lips, sniffling softly as tears begin to spill. "no, no! you're too big, toji. i can't- can't take it! please!" your cries fall on deaf ears as toji presses down on your hips to slide further into you. he watches you squirm with a satisfied grin tugging at his lips. your body is warm and the tears that slip from your eyes are scorching. he watches in pure satisfaction as your cunt clenches tightly around him the further he digs into you. "bet this pussy wasn't shy when you were in college." he tuts at you, releasing one side of your hip to spank your clit.
he relishes the way your hips twitch and your back arches. you're so fucking responsive. "remember your mom said you're a sorority girl. how many times were you gettin' fucked in the bathroom? now you wanna tell me 's too big? you're my little slut, baby. you can take it." you're not gonna tell him when you can take it and, frankly, toji doesn't care. his eyebrows twitch in annoyance at your escalating whines. you've come to your senses because you're pushing at his stomach. your eyes are closed in both discomfort and pleasure, and tears are starting to accumulate on the blanket.
"fucked those college boys with no problem but the second a real man tries to take this pussy you wanna cry." he rolls his eyes in pure irritation, gripping your hips tightly so he can finally slam you down on his cock. he groans in relief as your warmth surrounds him fully. his cock twitches inside of you and he already knows he's fucked. you're so fucking wet, so fucking tight. he can't take it. he moves his hands to slide underneath your thighs, pushing them up so that he has more room.
"move...toji please." your voice is so soft he would've missed it if the wind was blowing. your stepdad tuts at you, spreading your legs further to settle between them. "please what? what's my name?" he watches the conflict in your eyes. you're contemplating if you want to give in (as if you hadn't already). your eyes flutter shut before opening again. "please," you pause, a disgusted frown pulling at your lips. "daddy please? fuck me! i need it- need you so bad."
a warm feeling starts to brew in his chest after your little declaration. toji hadn't given a fuck when your mother mentioned she had an adult daughter but now? god was he grateful he met her. he would've never found this pretty pussy on his own. "since you asked so nicely, princess. gonna take it realll good f'me, huh? slutty fucking pussy." he practically purrs his words to you. toji doesn't bother starting slow, immediately starting with pounding in and out of your cunt.
your cunt makes the nastiest, wettest noise as toji's cock slides in and out of you. he's not going nearly as fast as he wants, but your pussy gushes around him nonetheless. your back arches off the ground as his tip kisses your cervix. he keeps hitting deep inside you every time he pulls out halfway just to fuck right back into you. "oh my god.." you murmur. you shift your hips in an attempt to fuck yourself forward as he continues to pound into you.
"oh my fuck- daddy please! harder! need it!" you're practically sobbing for him to fuck you harder. your fingers press weakly against his stomach and you find yourself unable to decide if you really want him to go harder. your pussy feels so full--you feel so fucking full and you feel like you're going to explode. "whatever you say, baby. been so fucking good." toji leans over, pressing your legs back further. his lips attach to yours in the neediest kiss you've ever taken part of. it's sloppy and desperate and it's so fucking good.
your tongue slides against his in near perfection, one of your hands reaching up to grasp at his hair. you pull him closer to you, jutting your hips against his. toji's pounding is incessant, and your cry against his lips. "let go of my legs, toji. i want you to cum in me." you whine against his lips. toji releases your legs reluctantly, letting you wrap them around his waist. he grunts as you push him impossibly deeper inside of you. "fuck i should've met you sooner." his hisses, pressing down on your stomach. "should've married this fucking cunt. could be inside you for days, keep cumming inside of you, get you pregn- oh fuck!"
you press toji inside of you to keep him there. your fingers grasp his hair tightly, forcing his lips to remain against yours. he's groaning despite your attempts to keep the both of you quiet, his hips beginning to stutter and your fingers beginning to twitch. "then fucking do it. fill me up daddy, please." he laughs against you, pulling back to slam back into you. "yeah, baby. knew this fucking pussy would want me. i knew you'd fucking love this." you nod dumbly, muttering incoherently about how you need him.
toji grips your neck as his hips begin to stutter. your pussy tightens around him and flutters as he nudges your g-spot. every time he pulls back he hits it with perfection only to push forward and kiss your cervix. you need him to cum inside you. you need it the same way you need oxygen. you just want to feel the same warmth you've craved since you met him a week ago. he's right, he should've married you. you'd give him what he wants and more. "is this pretty pussy gonna cum for me?" he's whispering so close to you that you can feel the warmth against your wet lips.
you nod hard and fast, squeezing your eyes shut as the knot in your stomach tightens. you move your hips to no real avail. he's fucked you so stupid you can barely match his rhythm. your pussy almost hurts from the stretch and the overstimulation from your first lingering orgasm. you can feel your asshole flutter whilst your pussy attempts to shut around toji's dick. "ohhh i'm gonna- fuckfuckfuck." you sob your words out, nails clawing angrily at toji's back. he doesn't let up, continuing to fuck harshly into your pussy even as he feels spurts hit the bottom of his stomach. he ignores the fact that you've squirted on his dick, fucking you like he needs it.
"this is what i needed from you. knew you weren't a brat. jus' needed to be fucked." he chuckles, though the joke is lost on you. he watches the way your eyes have rolled. your pretty lips are parted, but no sound leaves them. you're done for and he's about to cum so deep in you that he knows it'll take. toji slams his hips forward, his balls slapping against your ass as he finally cums. he glances down to see the white ring of your cream at the base of his dick, now watching his own cum drip down. he can see your pussy twitch and he presses meanly on your clit just to watch you practically howl.
"too much." you murmur, eyes opening just slightly to see his face. toji presses a kiss to your lips, licking at them to let himself in. he gives you one more sloppy kiss, relishing in the after of the harsh orgasms the two of you had. "you did so good." he coos, pressing kisses to your tear-stained cheeks. "good fucking girl. c'mon, we'll go home so you can take a bath." you grunt, blinking your eyes completely open to watch his face. he was looking at you differently. softer. maybe you'd like having a stepdaddy after all.
#dark content#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk#toji fushiguro#toji fushigro x reader#toji x reader#toji x you#stepcest cw#tw pseudocest#tw stepcest#dark smut#toji smut#toji fushiguro smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#smut#fushiguro toji x reader
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stop waiting- L.H
There's not a synopsis, I'm sorry
Disclaimer: nsfw, contains smut!!
It had been 3 months since Lee Heeseung’s world turned upside down. 3 months since he switched from a homemade man to a big party animal. 3 months since his girlfriend, Karina, left. 4 years of relationship, for nothing. 4 years of promises and plans simply went down the sink. 4 years for at the end be cheated on with that Sim Jake guy. But Heeseung didn’t need her anymore, he had his soju, his hennessy and his weed. They would never leave him. That’s why every Friday night till Monday morning, he had his ass stuck in a party, surrounded by strangers, numb of feelings.
Numb of feelings, that was the best part, he couldn’t feel anything among the strangers, |among the drinking, the loud music, among the dancing, the sweat bodies, among the sex, and the different beds he had been on. 3 months of living completely alienated from reality. It was the price he decided to pay in order to not feel the pain, to try, somehow, fill the void Karina left on him.
He was at one of those parties, smoking some weed on someone's couch, next to his best friends Jay, Sunghoon and Ni-ki. He didn’t talk or hung out with them too much when he was in a relationship. But now, he was free and he had no one to tell him what to do or not. Even though his focus wasn’t on his friends, it was on a girl across the room. She was wearing a mini skirt and stiletto heels and she was an old acquaintance, they studied at the same high school, they had art classes together, and he simply hated that girl.
He hated her because she was perfect. She was beautiful, talented, kind, funny and intelligent, and, of course, he had fallen in love with her back then, when he was still a loser. During that time, they became closer very quickly, and he did everything for her. Everything to see her smiling. But she kept him in the friendzone, because she was banging with his old brother, Lee Taemin, who simply dumped her 2 months later, after he lost interest.
It was 4 years ago. It was the last time she talked to him, and because of that, even being perfect she was also an asshole.
He kept staring at her, wondering how were the odds they would be at the same party, in the same night? He dragged his joint again, trying to relax and praying she would go away soon. He probably wasn’t good in that manifestation thing cause out of the blue, she started to scan the room, till her gaze crossed with his. “Fuck”, he cursed under his breath. And, worse, she started to walk toward his group. “For fuck’s sake…”, he cursed again, then tilted on the couch, trying to convince himself that her presence wasn’t making him uncomfortable. Maybe it was because he hadn't seen her in 4 years, but she looked even more beautiful, the most radiant and sexy version of her, which made him hate her even more. “Damn”, he thought when she stopped in front of the couch he and his friends were sitting on.
“Hello, guys!”, she greeted, smiling, “Hey!”, drunk Sunghoon, sober Jay and stoned Ni-ki greeted her. But not Heeseung. She lifted an eyebrow and turned specifically to him “Hi, Heeeung”. He lifted his gaze, dragged his joint and exhaled slowly, everyone was looking at him, apparently he had no choice but to answer “‘Sup?” “Are you good?” “Do I look good to you?”. She stared at him, he looked good, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. “It’s been a while…”, she continued. Heeseung chuckled, “You think so?” “Why does he keep making rhetorical questions?”, she thought. “Can we… hum… can we talk? In private” “Now you wanna talk?” “Well, yes, it’s important” “You can speak. My bros and I, we’ve got no secrets” “I know we haven't spoken in a while…” “A while?!”, she ignored the 1000th interruption and continued, “...but, hum, could you tell your brother to stop trying to get in contact with me, please?” “Are you talking about Taemin?”, she nodded. Hee laughed, “You gotta be fucking kidding me! You come here, after 4 years, to ask me a favor!? Involving my hyung!?”, he paused to chuckle, “Do you think I am some sort of idiot?”.
She was embarrassed, the way he was stating she did sound like a selfish bitch “No… I just didn’t know who else to occur” “Well, if you want Taemin hyung to stay away from you, you go and tell him yourself”, she held back the tears, she didn’t remember Heeseung being so rude. Probably because he wasn't, but now he hated all women, he despised them.
“Heeseung, please, I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t need your help” “I’m not your fucking bitchboy anymore” “But…” “If you’re done already, the door it's that way” he pointed to the door of the living room. “If you aren’t done yet, go anyway”. She opened her mouth to say another thing but she gave up, it didn’t seem he was going to bend.
“Sorry for bothering you. Bye, guys” “Bye!”, the other 3 said, while the 4 of them watched her go. Jay poked Heeseung’s arm to scold his friend, “Bro, you didn’t have to be rude with her” “What?! Are you defending her?!” “Bro, I’m just saying you could have helped her, you know your brother is an asshole!” “She’s not my problem, Jay. She picked Taemin back then, now she deals with him” “Yeah, but can you stop acting like a resentful child just for a second and…”, Heeseung put his hand on his ears and shouted, “Ah!”, Jay shutted his mouth and tapped his ears “You’re giving me a headache, Jongseong!” “What a hypocrite”, he thought before standing up. “Where are you going?”, Sunghoon asked “Bathroom” “Good! Bring me some more of this drink, yeah?” “Don’t you think you’ve drank too much already?” “Sorry, mom”, Jay rolled his eyes, “Will be back soon”.
When Jay stepped out of the bathroom the first thing he saw was her talking to her friend Minji. She had red eyes and was clearly nervous. He probably shouldn’t cause of his loyalty to Heeseung, but he couldn’t help himself, he had to do something to help. So he approached them, “Excuse me, girls…”, they turned to him “Hi, Jay”, she sniffed. Jay and her were friends in high school, they were lab partners, but he ended up being under Heeseung’s guard after they stopped talking. “I’m so sorry about Hee, he has been angry at everything lately” “It’s ok, I shouldn’t have talked to him, I know Karina doesn't like it, but he was truly my last option” “You…” “She’s telling the truth. She already tried everything, but Lee Taemin keeps creating fake accounts on instagram just to try talking with her”, Minji completed “I’m sure he does, but… you said Karina doesn’t like it when you talk to Heeseung?” “Yeah, that’s why I distanced from him” “You’re kidding, right?”. She crossed her arms and lifted an eyebrow, “No, Jay, I’m not” “Heeseung thinks you did that because of his brother” “Why would I? Heeseung was one of my best friends back then” “Fuck!”, Jay put his hand on his forehead, “Heeseung is so stupid!” “Why?” “Karina told him you asked her to tell Heeseung that if one Lee sucks, then 2 Lees probably sucked the double and you would rather lose your vision than to see any of them in front of you again” “What?!”, she and Minji said in unison “I never said that. Karina hated me since the first time we met” “Its true”, Minji commented. “Oh my God, I have to tell Heeseung about that”, Jay turned to leave, but she didn’t let him. “Jay, wait…”, she held his arm, he looked down at her hand “What?” “Don’t do it. I don’t want to ruin their relationship. Hee’s happy with her and I want him to be happy. Even with a nasty bitch like her” “Lucky for you, they are not together anymore”, her lips parted. “W-what? Is that for real?”, he nodded “What happened?” “She cheated” “With who?!”, Minji asked “Minji!”, she scolded her friend “How’s he dealing with that?” “Terribly. He’s angry at everyone and everything. He goes out every weekend, he leaves on Friday night, and shows up on Tuesday morning. And he’s drinking and smoking a lot” “Damn”, she muttered “I really thought it was weird to find him here tonight” “Yeah… Anyway I’ll try to convince him to talk to his brother” “Ok. Thank you, Jay, it really means a lot to me”, he smiled “It’s nothing. Bye, girls”, he said before winking at them and leaving.
When he joined his friends on the couch again, Heeseung wasn’t there anymore. Sunghoon was laying down, with his mouth open, REM sleeping while Ni-ki tied the korean man’s shoe’s laces in a way that Hoon would fall when he stood up. “Where is Heeseung?” “What?” “Heeseung. Where’s he?” “I have no fucking idea, bro” “Damn, Ni-ki! Is the weed destroying your neurons?” “Bro, I am not understanding anything you are saying today” “Fuck…”, Jay muttered, before leaving to try to find Heeseung. He asked at least 30 wrong people before finding the right one “Jungwoon! “Hey, Jay” “Have you seen Heeseung?” “I don’t even see him at home, man”, they were roommates, “Fuck…” “I think I saw him in the kitchen with a girl, then they disappeared”, Jay groaned.
He knew it meant he wasn't going to hear from Heeseung till Tuesday “Ok, Woon. Thanks bro”, he poked the younger’s chest and left, Sunghoon and Ni-ki would need his help to reach home and trying to find Heeseung was pointless.
…
A week later:
Jay was at the apartment they shared with Sunghoon and Niki. The 3 of them were having a gaming night, they even invited Jungwoon and Heeseung, but none of them heard from Heeseung since last Saturday. According to Jungwoon, he didn’t spend much time at their place as well. “He went home on Monday, I guess. Then he went to work, I didn’t hear from him for 2 days, and yesterday he showed up, said he had an off day and stayed in his room all day. I went to work this morning and when I came home in the afternoon he was already not there”, Jungwoon told them, sitting on their carpet while eating popcorn.
“Are guys worried about him or is it just me?”, Sunghoon asked “Yeah!”, the rest of them answered in unison. “Yes, man. But I have a plan” “What’s it?” “Do you guys remember that girl from his art class? The one he was best friends with?”, the other 3 nodded, “You don’t even attend the same high school as us Jungwoon!”, Sunghoon pointed out, “I want to be included. Now go on, Jay” “So, I talked to her at the party we went to last weekend, and it turns out Karina lied to Heeseung all that time” “What happened?”, Niki asked, “She never said those things to his ex. Apparently Karina just didn’t like their friendship and she cut contact to avoid ruining it” “Karina didn’t like any of his friendships”, Jungwoon added “That bitch”, Sunghoon rolled his eyes, disgusted. “You have to tell him that”, Ni-ki said “Yeah, but who said I can talk to him?”, at that moment Jay’s phone buzzed:
Lee Heeseung shared his live location with you
“Oh my God, guys. It's him!”, felt like he guessed he was the subject of their conversation. “What does it say?”, Woon asked “He just sent me his location”:
Park Jongseong: ‘Need me to pick you up, bro?’
Lee Heeseung: ‘Nah, come over. Bring the guys with you’
Park Jongseong: ‘Which guys?’
Lee Heeseung: ‘Anyone you want. Just come, it's boring without you to parent me’
“He wants us to come to a club in Hongdae”, they protested, nobody is in the mood for it. “I go, you guys can stay” “No! It’s game night! It’s not gaming night without you, Jay”, Sunghoon cried, “But I have to talk to him” “Do you think it will really help him to know the truth?” “I think so, at least a little” “So you should go” “Yeah…”
Park Jongseong: ‘Omw. Will be there in 20’
28 minutes later, Jay found himself in a club, trying to avoid being pushed and humped by the people on the dancefloor. He tried to text and call Heeseung one thousand times but he wasn’t successful. It took him more than 10 minutes to find the motherfucker among a smoke of weed and 2 girls on his lap, one in which leg. “Jongseong! Finally, man!”, Heeseung shouted so Jay could hear him over the loud music. “Same, bro! Same!”, Jay already had lost his patience, he didn’t know if it was because of the ocean of sweat and drunk people he had to face to find Heeseung or the whole past 3 months. “What’s wrong, man!? You seem stressed!” “I’m stressed!” “Why, bro!?” “I have to tell you something and you went missing the whole damn week! Where have you been, man!?” “Here and there! What do you want to tell me!?” “I'd rather do this somewhere where I don't have to shout in order for you to hear me!” “Chill out, man! At least tell me what this is about!” “Karina!”. Heeseung furrowed and his jaw tightened up, “I don’t want to know!” “Yes, you do!” “No, I don’t! She’s past!”, Jay pressed his temple, he was already done with that son of of a bitch, ““Can you stop being a fucking brat for at least 10 minutes and listen to me?!”, Jay said with his jaw and fist clenched. “Ok, ok! Chill, bro!”.
After Hee convinced the girls to leave his lap, he walked with Jay for the parking lot. He sat on the hood of his friend’s car and lit up another joint. He offered to Jay, but he declined “So, what’s about Karina?” “She is a freaking liar” “I know. That’s why we are not together anymore” “That’s why you’ve lost your best friend too” “What are you talking about?” “Remember when Karina said she asked her to…”, Heeseung cutted Jay, he didn’t want to remember those words. “Yeah, yeah, go on” “Apparently Karina made everything up” “How do you know?” “She said she never asked Karina anything. She also told me Karina didn’t like when you guys were friends. So she stopped talking to you cause she didnt want to ruin your relationship”. Heeseung scratched his chin, trying to find a way to attack her, "How do you know she isn’t lying too?” “You know what happened to all your friendships when you were dating her”, Jay was right, Karina didn't like any of his friends, boy or girl, she wanted him all for herself.
He dragged again, trying to process everything Jay said, “So… it wasn’t because of Taemin?” “No! She was your best friend, man, she wouldn’t have done it to you”. Heeseung placed his hands behind his head, everything Jay said made sense, all he wanted to do was scream. “Fuck!”, he screamed repeatedly. He jumped from the hood of Jay’s car and started to walk around “Can’t fucking believe on this!” “I couldn’t either” “Damn! All of those years for nothing”, he stopped walking in a sudden, as he remembered something really important. “And she reached out for my help, bro. And I acted like an asshole!” “Yeah, but you can fix that” “How?” “Talk to your brother” “Yeah, man I thought about that”, Jay rolled his eyes, Heeseung’s sarcasm didn’t affect him anymore. The older man threw the joint on the ground and stumbled on it with his shoe. “Can you help me? I think he’s here”, “Yeah, su…”, Jay’s phone interrupted him.
He got surprised when he checked on it, and saw her name on the screen “Hold on, it’s her”, he picked up “Hello?” “Jay? Please, help…”, he heard a sound of crashing, as her phone had been thrown on the floor “Hello? Are you still there?” “Who said you could do that shit, huh?”, he heard a masculine voice approaching her phone along footsteps “It was a mistake, nobody needs help. Bye’’, Jay’s face turned into white, as he saw a corpse. “Jay! What happened?” ”Taemin, I think he’s with her” “Fuck!”, he cursed “Stop cursing and let’s find them. I heard an echo, I think they’re in the bathroom” “Let’s go!”.
…
“Who’s that Jay, hum? Is he your new boyfriend?” “What if he is? It’s none of your business, your creep!” “Nah, nah, nah, baby girl. Don’t speak like that to me, cause I already made you happy” “It wasn’t happiness! You used me for your own pleasure when I was hopelessly in love with you!”, Taemin chuckled, and touched her chin. “Well, I guess I did. But…”, he approached her lips “I’m truly “ “Bullshit”, she spitted on his face “Ugh! That’s disgusting!”, he dried his face “Where are your manners?” “Who are you to talk about manners?! You were just rubbing your boner on my groin without my consent!” “It’s so cute when you pretend you weren’t enjoying it” “I wasn’t!” “Sure”, he caged her in between his arms, and dipped down to kiss her, but she didn’t kiss him back, of course. He pressed his erection in between her legs, holding her forearms against the wall when she tried to fight back.
That's when Jay and Heeseung came into the bathroom. Heeseung’s blood started to boil when he saw his hyung forcing her to kiss him “Lee Taemin!”, he shouted. His brother stopped kissing her and turned around “Heeseung?!” “Take your hands off her!” “Right now!”, Jay completed “Yeah, right now!”. Taemin laughed, “Or what?”, Heeseung approached him “Or I will tell dad you have been selling drugs to teenagers, he will love it” “Are you really using the ‘I’ll tell dad’ card?” “You bet I am”, the oldest man looked at her, then to his young brother “Fuck it! This bitch isn't worth it”, he took his hand out of her “If she isn't worth you can leave her alone, right?” “Whatever, man”, he slammed the door when he left the bathroom.
At that moment, she slid her body down the wall, buried her face in her knees and started to cry. Heeseung looked at her, then to Jay, he didn’t know what to do. “Do something”, Jay mouthed “Me!?” “Yes, go!” “No! You go!”, Jay didn’t even bother answering, he just turned around and left the bathroom. Hee rolled his eyes, then squatted in front of her and tapped her head, softly, “Hey… are you ok?”, she lifted her head and looked at him, she looked scared “Did he hurt you?” “N-no, he just forced me to kiss him and pressed his hard dick on his groin” “Fucking disgusting”, he muttered. “I was so scared he would do something more”, Hee stretched his hand and caressed her hair “It’s ok, he is not here anymore and he will not bother you again”, she leaned forward and hugged him “Thank you, Hee”, he nodded, without hugging her back. Then, he took her arms off him and stood up, “Well, I think I’m going to take some air, wanna join me?” “Ok”, he helped her stand up and took her to the parking lot.
After Heeseung called Jay and told him everything was ok and he could go back to his gaming night, they sat on the hood of her car. Heeseung got a beer on their way out of the club and she was laying down, stargazing. “Jay…”, she looked at him, “...he said you and Karina broke up”, he nodded, drinking more of his beer “He said to me you stopped talking to me because of her” “It’s true” “I thought you were an asshole for all those years. That you didn’t care about me or our friendship…”, he paused “...it was just made up”, he drank more. She sat up, “Hee, I always cared about you and our friendship, I’m sorry that I just walked away instead of talking to you, I just wanted to see you happy” “I’m sorry for not trying to understand you too, I just believed in her blindly” “It’s ok”.
They remained silent for a few moments before he finally said something. “I missed you” “I missed you too, Hee” “I like your tattoo”, he pointed to her left thigh. She had a beautiful and majestic dragon who went from her low belly to her leg “Do you?” “Yeah. It comes to the hip?” “To the low belly” “Wow! Sick’ “Thank you! I drew it by myself” “Really?!”, she nodded “I remember when we were in high school you were very good at art class” “Yes, I miss that time” “I don’t “Really?” “Yeah. That time was hell” “Why?” “I suffered every time I was around you” “I don’t understand…” “I had a massive crush on you and you just wanted to know about my brother” “You had a crush on me!?” “Yeah” “Well, I had a crush on you too!” “What?!” “But you were always flirting with Karina, so I thought you wanted her, not me. So when Taemin started to flirt with me, I just… got hooked on him” “She was the one who flirted with me!” “But you let her” “Damn, can’t believe it. Fucking unbelievable!”, there it goes, he was losing his temper again.
He jumped off the car’s hood and started to scream with her, “Do you have any idea of how happy we could be right now?!” “Hee…” “I’m ruined because of her! Ruined! And you!? You were almost raped in that bathroom! Fuck!”, he kicked the front tire of her Jeep. She jumped off the hood too, “Why are you so mad about it?! You were the one who got into a toxic relationship! The one who lost yourself in that damn relationship!” “Why didn’t you tell me you like me?! Why?!” “Why didn’t you tell me you liked me?!”, he didn’t say anything, she was right, it was as much his fault as hers. But she was pissed with his behavior since the last party, “I know why, cause you’re a coward!” “Shut up..”, he muttered, “You’re a fucking pussy! Your fucking loser!” “I told you to shut up!”, he screamed at her. She stepped forward, till her nose was inches from his nose “Or what? Fucking assho…”, but he didn’t let her finish, he took her lips on hers, discharging all the represed anger, all the feeling of inferiority he felt over the past years. It all turned into a ferrous, aggressive kiss.
She felt his salty tears on her lips, maybe she had crossed the line, so she pulled away from him to apologize “I’m sorry, Hee. I didn’t mean to, I was angry and…” “Shut up” “But…” “Did you enjoy the kiss?” “Well, I didn’t have much time to savour it but…” “Can you just fucking answer me?” “Yes… I think so” “Good”, Heeseung pulled her waist to another kiss, this time he leaned her against the hood of the car, in which she laid down, melting to the kiss, enjoying all the magical tricks Heeseung was doing with his blessed tongue. She never thought he could make her feel this way. She put her fingers on his hair and pulled it, searching for some relief. He moaned into her mouth, running a hand up her thigh, pulling her dress up with it, stopping on her belly button line. He looked down to appreciate the tattoo “You’re a terrific artist” “Thanks”, he took another look at it, then rubbed her hip bone, she thrusted it up as a reflex, he smirked “I can’t fuck you in public, babygirl” “I have a car, you know?” “I am waiting for your invitation”, she smirked, then reached for her purse and car keys. She stood up, then unlocked the car and opened the backseat door “Come in”, he did, she followed, slamming the door behind her.
Heeseung threw his belongings on the seat next to him “Come here”, he tapped his lap, she took her heels off and obeyed him. He grabbed her hips and pulled it down against his boner, wanting her to feel how much a simple kiss just made him crazy. She moaned with the stimulation, “Damn, you’re already so hard”, she muttered “It hurts”, he faked a pout “Won’t you help me?”, she smirked before moving her hand to his belt, unbuckling it. Heeseung watched her open his zipper and pull his boxers just enough for freeing his hard member, she gulped when she saw it, he was bigger than she thought. He squeezed her hips lightly, “Are you ok?” “Yes, I… I’m just thinking about how sore I’m going to be tomorrow”, he smirked “You know what a man likes to hear”, she took her lips to his neck, sucking it with the goal of leaving a mark on the sensitive skin. Heeseung threw his head back, and rolled his eyes, trying to suppress the groan stuck in his throat, his cock pressed against her belly was aching, he needed some damn relief. She finally pulled away from his neck to see her masterpiece “You are going to wake up with a bruise on your neck just for you to know” “You’re a fucking temptation”, he muttered, “What are you going to do about it?”, he didn’t botter in answer, he just ran his hand down her dress and pulled her laced pantie to the side. He looked her in the eyes the whole time he got into her, her facial expressions trying to hold a moan back was priceless, when his head collided with her cervix he started to move her hips, and neither of them could keep silent anymore, soon the moans started to stood out the sound of skin colliding. The windows of the cars started to fog but it wasn't important, Hee looked at her, who had her lips nailed in her bottom lip as she moved her hips by herself, “You’re taking me so well”, he commented in between his cutted breath, “Are you calling me a whore?” “I don’t mind if you are a whore, as long as you are my whore from now on”, she changed the angle of her hips, founding a sensitive spot, unable to speak more than just a muttered “Yes”, she whined, “Fuck, I’m cummming very very soon” “Good girl”, he held her hips again helping her to hit the edge, and when she did, he bucked his hips up to reach his own orgasm. After he unloaded inside of her, he pulled her body against his chest and muttered against her hair, “You are mine now”
…
2 months later:
Dragons. All Heeseung could think about was dragons. Because the thing he saw the most over the past 2 months was a dragon. Her tattoo dragon. Sex was good and she treated him like her boyfriend. Safer than fuck random girls he found in parties. It didn't mean he gave up on his shallow life. He still went to parties, he still avoided his feelings and had no intention in turning what they had into something serious. Even so, during the past 2 months he got a lot better, he wasn’t angry anymore, he still went to parties, but just Friday and Saturday nights, he went home after the parties ended, he started to help Jungwoon taking care of their place, he participated of the gaming nights, he took her out to places where there was not alcohol, he didn’t even got late for work anymore. Heeseung’s friends loved her, they knew he was feeling better because of her presence and her cares, “I feel like the void inside of me is finally filled again”, he confessed to Jay once “Don’t you think this is a problem?” “Why would it be?” “If she’s gone you will feel empty again” “She’s not leaving, bro” “How are you so sure?” “I just am” “If you say so”. But one day, everything was about to change, he just didn’t know yet.
Heeseung had a day off work and he decided he wanted to spend it with her. He texted her a casual:
‘I need you. Come over’
And half an hour later she was there, naked on his bed, doing what they did the most. They usually had very funny and nonsense talks after sex but that time she chose a topic Heeseung didn’t like at all, “Don’t you think…”, she said while tracing lines into his chest, where she was laying on, “What?” “...shouldn’t we like…” “Just say it, you can say anything to me” “...shouldn’t we be dating?” “Oh! Why do you think like that?” “Cause we’ve been doing this for almost 3 months already, and we kinda act like a couple but we're not a couple officially” “Why do you think we act like a couple?” “Because we do” “But… give me an example” “We go out on dates, we have sex, I know your friends and family and you know mine… Do you need a few more?”, she was right, he was getting trapped, “I don’t know, I ended a 4 year relationship 6 months ago” “Do you still love her?” “No, I don’t” “Do you love me?”, he lifted his head from the pillow “Do you love me?”, she lifted from his chest “Well, yes” “What?!”, he sat up too “Why?!” “What do you mean with why, bro? Do I need a reason to love you?” “Well, I don’t know how you can love me”, he stood from the bed, panicking, “Well, I see now”, she stood up too and started to wear her clothes, “Hold on, you don’t have to leave. We can just pretend we didn’t have this conversation, and you didn’t say you love me. There’s no need to feel embarrassed” “No. I am not embarrassed and I don’t want to pretend I didn’t say I love you. I’m not ashamed of my feelings” “Fine! Just… don’t go” “Look, Heeseung, we probably shouldn’t see each other anymore” “What?! Why?!” “You clearly need to love yourself right now and I am not wasting my time with someone who is not even aware of that”, she passed through him and grabbed her purse, “C’mon!” “Bye, Hee, figure that mess out”, then she walked out the door. Heeseung sat on his bed, still naked, feeling the hole in his chest getting voided again.
…..
2 weeks later, Heeseung felt like hitting the rock bottom. He was at a party again, leaning on the wall, holding a red cup with some shit cheap whiskey in it. His eyes burned two people across the room: Ni-ki and her.
He actually missed her and watching her getting all flirty with one of his best friends didn’t make things any easier. Ni-ki didn’t have much fault, she was the one who started a conversation and she was the one who kept touching his arm and chest whenever he said something funny, which was very often. But Ni-ki was equally blamed cause he bent to her charm, he probably was high from some herb he smoked. They were getting closer and closer, Heeseung could picture them leaning for a kiss anytime soon and for that, Jay could see smoke coming out from his ears. “What the hell are you doing, man?”, he asked, “Wondering which part of his face Ni-ki would like to be punched’ “Bro, no! You can’t do it!” “But I guess I will” “Please, don’t. Stop watching them”, but he couldn’t, he tried 3 thousand times and his eyes kept turning back to them. “Unfortunately, this isn’t an option” “Why not?” “Cause I fucking can’t, Jay! Fuck… Do you think I like it!?” “What’s the matter? You say you were happy to be completely free again” “It turns out I’m not” “What’s going on, bro?” “I miss her” “Do you?” “She made me feel… good, the best I felt the past 6 months. So, yeah, I miss her” “And you’re going to sit here and watch her flirting with someone else?” “She wants a real relationship” “So what?” “I’m never going to date again” “Hee, I know trauma can be difficult to get over but… if you want her, you must face your fear before someone else does and you lose her forever. I know Ni-ki wouldn’t mind having a girlfriend, so stop waiting and go after her! ”. He closed his eyes, just the thought of Ni-ki and her being a couple and having them around as a couple was killing him inside, but he couldn’t be in a serious relationship, not after everything Karina did to him. He opened his eyes to tell Jay he was going to leave, but he saw Ni-ki bending down and whispering something in her ear. And worse, she giggled, then nodded, which impulsed Heeseung to stand up and walk towards them. Then, he grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the bathroom, ignoring all her protests.
“What the fuck, Heeseung?!”, he didn’t say anything, “You’re being fucking ridiculous just like your brother. He did the exact same thing, forced me into a bathroom with him and did things I didn’t want to!” “Don’t compare me with Taemin. He’s a piece of shit” “You’re exactly like him, asshole. He just wanted to have fun with me, so did you!”. He was facing a window, she couldn’t see his face, so she didn’t know he was crying till he sniffed, rubbed his nose with his point and middle fingers before turning to her and saying with a weak voice “Shut up…” her furrow faded away instantly, her face relaxed, she didn’t know what was worse: his shaky voice, his swollen eyes or the sadness he was carrying in his gaze. She walked toward the Korean man “Oh, my God, Hee! Are you actually crying?” he nodded “Why!? I know I was rude, but, didn't mean to make you cry”, he didn’t say anything “Hee, talk to me…” he cleaned his throat “I…” he paused “Don’t…” “Don’t what?” “Pick him. Pick me” his voice failed again, he only had strength left to beg “Please” she frowned again “We already talked about it. If you’re not willing to take things seriously, you should let me go”, he didn’t say anything again, “Are you going to make things serious between us?”. He looked at her, she was waiting for an answer with a question mark expression printed on her face. “Fuck it” he said, grabbing her nape and pulling her for a kiss. A messy kiss cause he was a fucking big mess at the moment. He spent the last 3 hours thinking about the possibility of her lips being touched by Ni-ki’s lips and he was going crazy about it. So, yeah, he might be fucking rude in his perspective for just kissing her with roughness and without her consent, but he didn’t fucking care at that point.
All that mattered at that moment was the grip on his hair, her jawline being cupped by his big hands, those heavenly pieces of flash moving with his, the sweet taste of her cherry lip gloss mixing the salty taste of his tears, rolling down his face, reaching their lips and being absorbed by that act of love. Then suddenly, her hands moved from his hair to the hem of his t-shirt and started to run over his bare chest. In that moment, his conscience hitted him and he broke the kiss, stepping back “I’m so sorry. I….”, she looked up at him, searching for some hope, a small sign which would show her that, yes, he was going to fight with his own demons for her, for them. He rubbed the skin of her cheek, smiled, then nodded, “I’m doing anything for you, babygirl”. She smiled at him, maybe this time, he wasn’t going to run away anymore.
#enhypen#enhypen smut#lee heeseung#lee heeseung smut#heeseung#heeseung smut#enhypen imagines#enhypen one shot#enhypen fanfic
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RE-TAKE | b. eilish.
ꨄ︎ delivering some more teacher!billie for you… <3
you’re halfway out the door when her voice stops you.
it’s a call of your name, laced with an angry and frustrated tone. you freeze, hand tightening on the strap of your bag. the classroom is empty now, the faint sound of footsteps fading down the hall as everyone clears out for the day.
but you’re still here.
you swallow thickly, turning on your heel to face your teacher. her hair that was previously flowing down her shoulders is now placed in a messy bun, her blazer already discarded on the back of her desk chair— now only clad in a white, too-tight button up and a black skirt.
“we need to talk,” miss eilish says, her voice low and steady. her eyes don’t leave you as you start to walk forward, and she tuts at you harshly.
“no, shut the door.”
your skin feels clammy as you shut the door behind you quietly, dropping your bag on the floor and standing next to the doorframe, awkwardly. the air is thick and hot with tension, and you’re even more scared because you already know what this is about.
it’s about the fucking quiz. the one you didn’t even finish because your mind was elsewhere, lost in a maze of thoughts that all seemed to lead back to her. it wasn’t your fault that miss eilish decided to wear tighter dress pants and a flowier, lower-cut top that day. she had looked so pretty, and she still had that hickey on her collarbone that you had given her the night before, that she tried so hard to cover up with that small collar of her polo.
“come here,” billie says, snapping you out of your intrinsic thoughts. your feet move before your brain can catch up, carrying you toward her.
she waits until you’re standing in front of her desk before holding up the paper, “do you want to explain this?”
your eyes drop to the paper, to the bright red “F” scrawled at the top. even her handwriting was angry with you.
your face burns with shame, and you smooth your hands over your own skirt in hopes that it’ll calm you down. “i… i just had an off day,” you mumble, not even daring to meet eyes.
“an off day,” she repeats, her tone laced with amusement. she gives you a cocky, mocking nod, “that’s funny, because it seems like you’ve been having a lot of those lately. why is your shit not together?”
you swallow hard, your hands clenching at your sides. you don’t even dare to respond.
“look at me,” she says, and your heart stutters in your chest.
you lift your eyes, and there it is— that look she always gives you, the one that makes it impossible to breathe. she knows you down to a T, and her eyes are sharp, knowing of you, like you’re her prized possession.
“you really are better than this,” she says softly, leaning forward, her elbows resting on the desk. “i know you are.”
you nod, your throat too tight to speak. you fight for your eyes not to drift down to her exposed cleavage, so you flutter them shut before you make any more mistakes.
“but…” she trails off, tilting her head slightly, a loose strand of her black hair slipping over her shoulder. “i’m not happy with you. the retake date has already passed, so you’re going to have to show me that you want to pass my class.”
the way she’s looking at you, eyes slit and low, nearly makes you fall to the floor that your shoes keep twisting on, anxiety fueling you.
truth is, billie was always so big on not fucking you in school. it just seemed too risky, but today, it was like she couldn’t care less. she was already pulled closer to you now, unbuttoning your cardigan slowly as you gulped.
“what—what does that mean? i thought…” you stammer, but she just continues with undressing you, her smirk deepening.
“you’re my smart girl,” billie says, her voice like honey. she passes you a wink, “i think you’ll figure it out.”
that nearly kills you. your cardigan’s now on the floor, discarded like it’s worth nothing— and it really isn’t worth anything, not in this moment.
billie doesn’t kiss you with the usual softness she gives you, she kisses you like you mean nothing to her, like you’re worthless, like you’re just her pathetic little student who can never pay attention in class.
it’s quick, the way that billie rips your clothes off, propping you up on her desk as she fumbles around in a locked drawer of her desk, pulling out a thicker, longer, harder strap that you’ve never seen in your life.
“what the—?” you speak shyly, half due to confusion and half because there’s no way she’s going to use that on you. but your eyes turn wide as saucers when you see her slip her skirt and panties off, slipping on the strap and fastening it to her liking.
she pulls you by the hips without saying a word, the tip of the faux cock aligned with your entrance as her tattooed hand snakes around your throat, “don’t fucking talk at all, you hear me? you’ve done all the talking you need to in my class, giggling and whispering instead of doing your work. such a slut..”
you wince as the strap stretches your cunt out, your walls stretching to accommodate how fucking big it was. billie starts off slow, but that doesn’t last for long— she slams into you at a brutal pace, your stomach twisting as her hand slaps over your mouth to block your moans.
“shut up.” she seethes in your ear, her free hand kneading at your ass as her grip on your lips tightens, “you wanna get caught? you want someone to come in here and see me fucking you like this?”
you think her question is rhetorical until she slaps the flesh of your thigh, pushing you to answer her. and she lets you, her hand coming off of your mouth so you can mumble quietly, “n-no! please, billie….i’m so sorry…”
your eyes blink away tears as you feel a mix of pain and pleasure erupt in your abdomen, and it almost feels like too much, the way she’s fucking into you so hard. but deep down, you wanted this, wanted her to put you in your place. you wanted to fail that quiz so you could be where you are right now— legs shaking, pussy clenched against her strap. it was so wrong, but it felt so right.
a moan passes through your plump lips, and it makes billie’s frustration with you only worse. it’s like something snaps in her, the pace that she’s fucking you at almost seeming inhumane as your ass collides with her thighs, the sound echoing off of the classroom’s walls.
“such a dirty whore,” billie growls, her lips right against your ear, “know you could do much better in my class, but you’re just so distracted… may have to have a talk with the counselor, hm? do you need to be switched to another teacher?”
“n-no! miss eilish…please, wanna stay with you…wanna stay in your class…” you whine pathetically, and billie chuckles at how desperate you look.
tears find themselves streaming down your cheeks as you feel your orgasm closer and closer, your pussy clenching around the strap sporadically. almost inaudible whines leave your lips as you fight to stay upright, “i-i’m close— m’gonna cum, please, i—“
“cum for me.” billie orders, though her voice still drips honey. her hand snakes between your legs to rub your clit, assisting you through your orgasm as you heave, your cum sticky and hot as it races down the length of billie’s strap and onto her thighs.
billie fucks into you slowly a few more times before pulling out, watching as your cum seeps out of your cunt and onto your clit, glistening in the dim lighting of her classroom. billie gives you a kiss on your back, “good job, my girl— took me so fucking well.”
you thank her through puffy lips and teary eyes, laying on your back on her desk as she flips your paper over, writing a new grade on the front.
A+. Good job. :)
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One bed
Azriel x reader
Word count: 3000+
Summary: Due to unforeseen circumstances, you end up in the same room as Azriel
Warnings: none
I'd love to say I have solved the Frozen thingy, but I haven't yet. I've started writing part 3 and that's where I stopped because of the madness around. I was so close to making a solid plan for it. Unfortunately, the work happened, then Christmas at work baking f***ing chicken farm. Then husband got fever🙄and he couldn't live without getting someone else sick as well, so now son has high fever too and I'm the last one somehow surviving here. At least I have whole week of holidays next week. I hoped to relax and write more, but we'll see. Wish me luck🥴
Anyway here's something small and not so angsty that just popped up suddenly. Hope you enjoy it.
And for everyone who celebrate, have a peaceful holiday 💕
"I thought I've reserved enough rooms," Rhysand sighed. The last hour he was talking with the owner of the inn we were staying at, trying all possible tactics to persuade him to find us one more room. Impossible task from the very beginning as the inn was full.
We were on non-official official mission. At first, there were only six of us supposed to go as Amren declined, intending to stay with Mor in Velaris, protecting it. However, the two of them had yet another quarrel recently, which led to Amren suddenly appearing with a packed bag in hand a few seconds before intended departure. Nobody, not even Rhys, had balls to tell her no. And that's why we ended up in this situation. Rhys had everything perfectly planned, as usual, but he couldn't have known this would happen. And now we were one room short, but again - nobody dared to tell aloud whose fault it was. Amren was like hungry bulldog, ready to tear to shreds anyone and anything at the best of her days. Now, she was pissed off.
Feyre and Nesta took their keys, Feyre giving me an apologetic look. From the start, they were supposed to share rooms with their mates. This was also kind of vacation for us, so it was only logical they wanted to be with their partners.
That left Rhys with last two keys in hand. Amren snatched one and without looking at anyone or even a small mumbled sorry, she left. We exchanged look and whole group finally relaxed.
"Sorry," Feyre murmured as she headed to her room with sorrowful expression.
Before she left, Nesta gazed at me with silent question and I nodded. I would be fine, for sure. Cassian winked at me as he followed her. They both knew about the feelings I had for Azriel for quite some time, each supporting me in their own way. At this point, probably everyone around knew, except for the mentioned Shadowsinger and I didn't plan to be the one to break the news. I knew my limits and he was off them.
Rhys turned to me and Azriel with sorrowful expression, brows furrowed. "I'm sorry, Az, but you know.. Ladies first," he offered me the last key. Spymaster didn't even as much as blink, no protests at all. He looked as his usual self, unbothered by the problem at the hand.
"Thankies," I smiled, took the key and looped hand to Azriel's arm. "Come."
They both opened mouth in surprise, none of them expecting this from me. Rhys recovered as first.
"Enjoy yourself," he smirked and I rolled my eyes.
"Ha ha ha, how funny," I stuck out tongue at him. He chuckled and hurried after his mate, leaving the two of us alone. I raised brow at Shadowsinger who was still too shocked to speak. He didn't even notice Rhys' teasing.
"What? Did you think I would let you sleep on roof or what?"
"B-b-but," he stammered, his cheeks dusted with pink.
"No buts. Come!" I had to pull reluctant Azriel down the hallway.
"I can try another inn-"
"Nonsense! You would miss all the fun. Plus, I really don't mind. We are friends after all. I have nothing to be afraid of, right?"
I came to a sudden stop, realizing something.
"Wait! You mind staying with me in the same room?"
Before, it didn't occur to me that he could be against. I thought we were getting along pretty well, given the fact that we tended to seek out each other's company, sitting together and talking. The two of us even often hung out in the city, venturing cafes and bakeries. I thought he liked to spend time with me, but it could be only my mistaken impression. I knew I couldn't hope for more than friendship and I was fine with that as long as I could be close to him. He could feel differently though.
"No!" he hurried with an answer, eyes wide. "No, nothing like that. It's just.."
"What is it?"
"It's just.. you are female and I'm male."
I was so relieved to hear that, that I wanted to laugh, but I didn't. "That means that you will pounce on me like an animal as soon as door close?"
He flushed fiercely, averting his eyes. "You know I will do no such a thing. It just means that you might be uncomfortable because of that."
"I'm fine. Believe me," I said softly and took his hand. "So come on, silly."
He chuckled and this time, he willingly followed me.
The room, we got, was quite a nice one for an old inn, but it was rather smaller one. Most of the space was occupied by bed big enough to accommodate Illyrian wings. It was one of the reasons Rhysand chose this place, thinking about the comfort of his brothers. We were supposed to spend here whole week, maybe longer, so it was necessary.
Except of bed, there was only small table with two old chairs, hearth and connected bathroom.
After we settled down, the air had somehow thickened, both of us suddenly embarrassed. And so I did what I could to lighten the atmosphere a bit, but every try for a conversation died out soon after it started. At last, I gave up.
"It was long day," I stretched out, all my joints making a satisfying cracking sound and Azriel grimaced. He didn't like when I did it. "I'm tired. Do you want to use the bathroom as first?"
"No, go ahead," he offered and started to line up on table all the daggers he had on him. I paused and watched him, amazed. How could he hide so many? I thought he had only two, max three. He noticed me and smiled shyly.
"I'll clean them while you take shower. Don't worry, I'll put them away afterwards."
"I don't mind them at all," I mumbled, ashamed I got caught. "I'm just stunned you managed to sneak in the whole arsenal. Seeing it now, I would bet that not only do you have one for each of us but also even one spare."
At that he finally laughed, the rich sound warming my heart. I already missed that sound. Corners of my mouth curled into satisfied smile and I quickly gathered all necessary things and went to the bathroom.
When I came out, the daggers were gone from the table. Azriel was seated on the same chair he occupied since we came, pyjama in hands. He was staring into space, looking somehow troubled. Shadows gathered around his ear and he looked up at me, faking smile. Without a word, he stood up and hurried to the bathroom.
While I was waiting, I shoved my used underwear to the bottom of my bag and climbed to the bed, snuggling up in a warm blanket. It was quite cold here, old window hardly blocking the cold wind from outside.
Azriel took quite long to finish. By the time bathroom door creaked open, I was almost asleep. He rustled around for a while and adding big log to the fire, he turned off lights. I waited. The room went completely silent.
I opened eyes. "Are you kidding me," I sat up, sighing. "Az, I thought, we already talked it out." I glared into a dark corner by the hearth.
"Don't worry about me and sleep," he replied from his place on the old chair.
"You can't sleep on that old crap. It will most likely give in soon." The only answer was silence.
"C'mon, Az. It won't do you any good if you're sleep-deprived. To none of us in fact. What if something happens and you won't be able to fight because you are too tired and sore?"
Again silence.
"Do you want me to help you to the bed? I warn you, I'm going to drag you here not by arm but by ear this time."
He chuckled. His wings rustled and mattress dipped under his weight. "Fine then. Have it your way."
I tucked him in like a small child, mindful of his wings and settled down, heart pounding in my throat.
"That wasn't necessary."
"Believe me it was. And don't try to fake it. I'm light sleeper. I will know if you get up in the middle of the night."
"Fine, fine." He sounded amused. He was lying on his back, wings folded and tugged close to his body.
"Relax. The bed is enough big for both of us. Even if you touch me. I'm not made of sugar, I won't melt into puddle," I assured him as I curled up on my side of bed with back to him, taking as little space as possible so he had enough comfort. He made a sound at the back of his throat.
I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep at all with him being so close. But as bed warmed up with his presence and his calming scent wrapped around me as another blanket, I fell asleep in no time.
* * *
Azriel didn't even blink an eye. He was just lying there, stretched on his back, gazing at ceiling. He wasn't used to falling asleep next to someone. After she reassured him, he relaxed a bit but only his body. He was too nervous and excited at the same time. He was scared to even breath, not wanting to wake her up. How could she sleep so soundly? Didn't she feel the same? Didn't his presence stir her nerves?
Shadows curled on pillow near his ear, whispering. They described him in detail how she drifted off with sweet smile on her lips. Smile that she was still wearing. He wished he could see it with his own eyes.
He dared to turn his head to the side to watch her back, her shoulder slightly rising with every breath. Even at place like this in the middle of nowhere, she kept smelling like field of spring flowers, delicate and sweet. He inhaled deeply, enjoying the moment.
He felt so lucky right now and thanked the Mother for sending Amren at last minute, giving him this opportunity. For years, he was trying to get closer to Y/N. No matter how many times, he was ready to tell her about his feelings, he always gave up in the end, not daring to even suggest it. She was everything he wasn't, beautiful, kind and perfect. She deserved better.
He watched her entire night, mesmerized. It was strange. She was always so energetic during the day, yet at night she didn't move at all. It made him wonder whether it was because of him or it was normal.
It was after the sunrise when he finally calmed down and dozed off for hour or two.
* * *
Three days later, a knock sounded on our door. We were just finishing off the lasts of our breakfast. We looked up in time to see Rhysand's head peeking in. He held hand over his eyes with sassy smirk on his lips.
"Can I come in? I wouldn't like to see something inappropriate."
I rolled my eyes while Azriel bid him in, unaffected by his teasing. Honestly, everyone was making fun of us for no reason. After the first night, Nesta pulled me aside to ask me how it went and how I felt. I had nothing to tell her. At least nothing interesting anyway. I slept like a baby and not only the first night, but every night after.
Every evening, Azriel dutifully took his side of bed and I curled up on mine. No touching, only a pleasant small chat between friends. It was noticeable that he didn't sleep much the first night, however after that, he didn't seem to have such troubles. I was glad for that.
"I came to inform you that finally one more room is available. If you want, one of you can take it," he grinned and waited for our reply with one brow raised.
Out of the corner of eye, I looked at Azriel who was already eyeing me with unreadable expression. It seemed he wouldn't speak and it was up to me to decide.
"Well.. I don't mind to share room with Az at all. But if you'd like to have your privacy.." I turned to him.
His eyes widened slightly and his lips moved without making a sound.
"I don't mind, too," he managed.
"So," Rhys dragged the word. "You want to stay together? Really?"
We nodded as one man, not willing to give him what he hoped for. He was visibly disappointed.
"Fine then," he sighed, "as you want. I'll inform the owner."
* * *
A week later we were so used to this situation and each other's presence that we returned to our usual selves, rambling about anything, laughing, even touching lightly.
Our mission was over and this was our last night of sharing room. Azriel was spread on bed next to me, his wing gently touching my back. I was slowly falling asleep while we did small talk. Somewhere between dream and reality I got idea. Crazy as it was, my sleepy brain didn't find anything strange or wrong with it and my body acted on its own.
With closed eyes I rolled to his side, wrapped arm around his waist and rested my head on his chest. Azriel made a surprised sound and stiffened, but he didn't try to push me away. His smell filled my nose, his warmth seeping into me. Frantic but steady melody of his heart lulled me deeper into sleep. Last thing I felt before I completely drifted off, was his body relaxing under me and his arm holding me close.
* * *
Azriel was so surprised, he couldn't think straight. What was happening? He touched Y/N lightly, yet she didn't mind. She was almost asleep, relaxed and seemingly comfortable with him as her pillow. He felt her smiling into his chest and that gave him courage to wrap his hands around her. She hummed with satisfaction and dozed off completely.
Azriel gazed at her, unsure what to think or feel. Naturally, it made him happy, a dream-come-true kind of situation, but was it really okay? Was it really happening? It seemed to him just like a figment of his imagination, fed by amazing week spent by her side, so close to her.
He pinched himself, really painfully, leaving a bruise on his forearm. It was real. He swallowed hard. Slowly small smile spread on his face. He could get used to this.
When the initial surprise and embarrassment had passed, he found himself enjoying this. His heart was pounding fast, as he touched her hair and pushed them aside to see her face. He couldn't help it and traced a single finger down her face and jaw, mapping her full lips, lovely nose and soft arches of her brows.
He chuckled lightly. Y/N didn't even stir. So much to a light-sleeper.
As he watched her, his fantasy took over, offering him all kinds of imaginary situations that could lead to them ending up in this position; from innocent snuggling together for the night to them being naked, covered in sweat and spent after good sex. His heart squeezed in pain. He loved it and wanted it all. He didn't even realize that he was tugging her closer and closer, holding her so firmly there was no space left between them.
Despite everything, the scenario of innocent snuggling immediately became his favourite one. It held a certain kind of peace and warmth, something he longed for the most. He kept replaying it again and again until he fell asleep, too. The fantasy followed him even to his dreams where it became so real that it was unbearable.
* * *
I woke up unusually early at dawn. Still drowsy I looked around, not comprehending where I was. I was warm and comfy, so ready to close my eyes again, until I notice rising and falling steady flesh under me. That completely woke me up.
I looked up, finding Azriel still fast asleep. He was smiling sweetly, yet the tears rolled down his cheeks, soft whimpers leaving his lips. My chest tightened at the sight. It hurt me to see him like this. I reached up and gently wiped the tears off.
He slowly opened eyes and looked at me, still smiling.
"Good morning," I whispered.
"'Morning, Y/N," he replied, his deep voice raspy in the most sexy way. His thumb started to move up and down my waist in soothing motion.
"Bad dreams?"
"Sometimes dreams can be so beautiful that they make one cry," he murmured. He sounded so sad that I felt like crying too. Instead, I placed both of my hands on his chest and rested my chin on top of them.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I searched his eyes.
He shook his head and wiped off the rest of his tears. "I just wish I could go back and keep having the same dream for the rest of my life," he sighed, his eyes never leaving my face.
I propped up on my elbow and caressed his cheek. "You know that dreams don't have to stay dreams. They can became reality if you want them to."
His eyes widened and he swallowed hard. He seemed to be thinking very hard about something. Determination filled his eyes and he lifted up his head, stopping an inch from my face, waiting.
It was so sudden that I held my breath, but I didn't pull away. Watching me closely, Azriel leaned even closer and his lips lightly grazed over mine. I moaned, my body acting on its own. My eyes closed and I firmly pressed my lips to his. All the years of my suppressed feelings poured into this one kiss, not believing that there would be any more. He groaned and opened up, slowly moving, testing the waters. His fingers dug into flesh of my waist, holding me impossibly close.
It ended as suddenly as it started. He reluctantly broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine, heaving.
"I want it to become real."
#azriel x reader#azriel acotar#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel fluff#azriel x you#azriel#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#acosf#acotar fanfiction#sarah j maas#acotar x reader
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fic idea i’ve been thinking abt for a while: paige fic inspired by casual by chappell roan since she a player or whateva 🤯🤯 angsty maybe but like she better come to her senses and lock in
CAUSAL / paige bueckers
warnings : light angst , paige being dumb
pair : paige bueckers x fem!reader
wc : 758
The first time you had met Paige wasn’t at some party or social event—It was on the court. Sort of. You weren’t an athlete but worked as a videographer for the athletics department. One of your first assignments was filming their preseason promo footage for their team. Making sure to get shots of them walking out on the court and shooting some free throws.
It was during one of the shoots that she had walked in late, her blonde hair pulled back in a messy bun. She glanced over at you briefly, sending a polite smile your way before setting her stuff down and going onto the court.
As you were crouched by the baseline adjusting your camera, you heard her voice.
"Hey, you're new, right?"
You looked up, a bit startled to see her standing in front of you with a basketball in her hands, her smiling that made your stomach flip and you stood up.
"Um, yeah! First week on the job, very exciting." You managed out, trying to not be nervous.
"Well, welcome to the team then. I'm Paige." She said, extending her hand for you to shake.
"I'm Y/n! Nice to meet you, Paige."
And just like that, she was back on the court with everyone else, sparing a glance and a smirk your way a few times.
Over the next few weeks you saw Paige regularly. If it was just practice or during media days, she always went up to you and said hi, making a few jokes that would leave you flustered.
It wasn't too long before your interactions started becoming more personal. She'd linger after practice just to speak to you, asking about your favorite movies, asking about your editing skills. She'd help you with your camera supplies, making it impossible to not fall for her.
One evening after you got home, Paige had texted you.
Paige: Hey, are you free?
You: yeah, what's up?
Paige: wanna come over?
A smile was brought to your face as you grabbed your keys and bag, heading out the door.
When you got to her apartment, she opened the door in sweatpants and a white tank top, her hair a bit damp like she just got out of the shower.
The night started off slow, the both of you sitting on the couch just talking and watching a show. Eventually it turned into her asking about your editing again, being very interested in it. Somewhere between watching a movie, Paige had leaned in and kissed you-soft, warm, and tentative, like she wasn't sure if you'd pull away from her.
You didn't.
Her hand came up to cup your cheek, her thumb brushing against your skin as her lips moved against yours. When she finally pulled back, her eyes searched for yours. "Is this okay?"
"Yeah, it's more than okay." You nodded, your cheeks warm as her heart pounding in your chest. She smirked before leaning back in again, this time slower and deeper, one hand creeping to the back of your neck, keeping you close to her as the other slides up your thigh.
The movie was forgotten in the background, all you could focus on was Paige. Her soft lips on yours, her hand resting between your thighs.
You knew she didn't want anything, it was obvious. But the breaking point came a few months later after one of her games, seeing her all up on another girl messing with you, your stomach was churning in you. You told yourself it didn't matter, Paige had already made it clear what she wanted but you still couldn't push past it.
"I need to talk to you." You said, cutting to the chance once the two of you met afterwards.
"Yeah, what's up?" She smiled over you , stepping closer.
"I really don't think I can do this anymore, Paige. I-I know you made it clear what you wanted but I just can't. I want more than just a cause relationship, ya know?"
"Oh.. You know I don't want anything more. I'm not changing that." She looked away for a brief second, her jaw tightening.
"I know, and I'm not asking you to change. I'm just done though, I can't keep hurting myself for you." You said softly before turning to leave, your chest aching as your eyes well with tears. You can hear her behind you, taking a few steps as she watches you walk away.
She watches the one person she's ever wanted walk away, because she can't bring herself to speak up.
a/n : I KNOWWW you said have her come to her senses but….
tags : @mrsarnold
#lesbian#wlw#paige bueckers x fem reader#paige bueckers smut#paige buckets#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x reader#uconn huskies
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lemon sorbet with jack <3
hating you for christmas | jack hughes x ex gf!reader
❅ summary: jack gets a christmas card from his ex. he can't get over her.
❅ pairing: jack hughes x reader
❅ content: angst
❅ word count: 1.2k
❅ prompt: hating you for christmas - everclear
❅ warnings: lots of alcohol, car accidents
❅ tags: @tomskookie @dream-girl06 @skepvids @devilinpradaheels @r0wdymaize86 @summert158 @lolatokki @camiesully
❅ note: i hate love and love hate
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙₊⋆ ͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆
“jack! mail’s here,” luke called, slamming a stack of envelopes on the coffee table.
“thanks, rusty.”
“let’s see if there’s anything good.”
he started flipping through the pile. bill. bill. card from mom and dad. card from nico. card from fitzgerald. card from quinn. card from cole. card from trevor. card from keefe. junk mail about gutter cleaning.
“hey, this one’s from y/n.”
“gimme that.” jack snatched the envelope from luke, his eyes wide. he tore open the envelope, revealing a cute little christmas card, similar to the one from last year. the one he was on. he stared at the cardstock, with y/n’s smiling face and her stupid boyfriend. the back was just word after word about how her life was happy and perfect and her job was great and her house was grand and her boyfriend was specimen of a man.
the envelope was addressed to luke.
jack ripped the card in half, then in half again, and again, and again. “stupid y/n.”
────୨ৎ────
I don't want to hear about your new job now
“i just need to finish my business certification, then as soon as i get the money, i’m gonna open the flower shop.”
“gonna make the arrangements for our wedding?”
“of course, jacky,” she said, kissing his cheek. she slid onto his lap and he wrapped his arms around her waist.
I don't want to hear about your new boyfriend
“jack, it’s so beautiful.”
“of course, love. i wanted you to have the best ring.”
“i love you.”
“i love you too, mrs hughes.”
I don't want to hear about it all working out for you
“five more minutes.”
“babe, you have to go to morning skate.”
“but you’re so warm.”
she rolled over so she faced him. he pressed his lips to the tip of her nose. “you’re such a goof.”
No, I don't want to hear it now
jack hughes stuns with girlfriend at devil’s charity gala
devils forward spotted with girlfriend outside bar
jack hughes speaks: 4 nations face off, road to the cup, and his elusive lover
────୨ৎ────
I don't want to hear about your swinging new place
I don't want to hear how everyone thinks it's great
“we should get a house soon.”
“what’s wrong with the apartment?”
“we’re getting married, silly!” she booped his nose. “your mom’s gonna want grandbabies.”
I just want to sit in our apartment and hate you
jack sat on the couch, his head in his hands. y/n had been gone for a week now. he didn’t know how to tell his parents, how to ask luke to let him back in the apartment.
she was gone.
Yes, I will be hating you for Christmas
“you’re never around!”
“you knew that when we got together!”
“if you can't be present now, how can you be present as a dad?”
“i will try.”
“but you can’t try now?”
“i’m sorry.”
she placed her ring on the counter.
────୨ৎ────
You can have the Christmas tree
Remember when we bought it at the store down the street?
“i think that’s gonna be too tall, baby.”
“nah, it’ll work.”
“what if we get this pink one?”
“wait, that’s actually so cute.”
I don't want to think about the lights on your white skin
“thanks for bringing me here, jack. it’s beautiful.”
“you’re beautiful.”
he cupped her face and kissed her, the lights shining onto them. “my pretty girl.”
No, I don't want to think about it
“god, i love you so much.”
“i love you more.”
────୨ৎ────
I don't want to think about last year at your dad's
“jack, i just want to say, since y/n’s in the kitchen, i think you’re the best boyfriend she’s ever had.”
“about that…”
“what’s up, son?”
jack wiped away a tear as he opened the velvet box. “think she’ll like it?”
he was immediately engulfed in a bear hug by her dad. “you’re a good kid, jack.”
────୨ৎ────
I don't want to think about my face in your soft hair
I will be hating you for Christmas
as soon as jack opened the door and stepped inside, y/n was in his arms.
“missed you so much.”
“i missed you too, baby.”
“hate it when you leave.”
“aw, did my sweet girl miss me?”“your fiancé missed you quite a lot.”
────୨ৎ────
I must be losing my mind
“is there a y/n cloning facility nearby?” luke asked.
“no?” jack answered.
“then how come every girl you bring in looks like her?”
“that is not true.”
“last monday made a convincing twin.”
There's gotta be a better way to deal with the pain
“luke, i’m gonna hurt you if you keep talking.”
“dude, go to therapy or something.”
“i don’t need therapy.”
“right, because hooking up with girls who look like your ex is cheaper and easier.”
“i’m gonna get you scratched.”
“nico only listens to people of sound mind.”
There's gotta be a better way to deal with the hate
“you don’t even know what that means!”
“who here went to college?”
jack picked up the nearest object, a plastic cup, and threw it at luke, who ducked. the cup made a slight dent in the wall.
“now look what you did!”
“no, luke, it’s your fault. you poked the sleeping bear!”
“bears mate for life, jack.”
Wish that I could find some way to make you go away
“you’re on the devils, right?” the blonde said, holding onto his arm.
“god, you’re so hot.” brunette number one said.
the other brunette placed a sloppy drunk kiss on his cheek.
“you’re single, right?”
“no, i’ve got you three.”
“oh, you’re a fox, jack.”
“well, ladies, i try.”
Wish that I could have a drink and make you fade
he couldn’t even count the number of drinks he’d had or the number of girls on his arm. tonight, he was not jack hughes, y/n’s miserable ex. he was jack hughes, first overall pick, new jersey devils star forward and alternate captain. he was a hotshot, the big ticket item, the best looking guy at the club.
except with drink after drink, all he could think was how y/n was at her stupid apartment in the arms of her stupid boyfriend and not a single girl here tonight was her.
I wish that I could have myself a drink and make you fade
so he slammed another shot down. the girls cheered. another shot. another glass. another bar. another club. another bottle. another taxi. another shot.
“ladies,” he began, his speech so slurred and impaired, “tonight, we dance.”
I wish that I could have a drink and make you go away
“let’s go back to my place.”
────୨ৎ────
Wish that I could make you go away
five injured in hockey player’s car crash
jack hughes’ mugshot: click here!
devil’s forward jack hughes dui
jack hughes involved in collision - 6 girls in car
I will be hating you for Christmas
“hughes, those are all from different occasions!”
“i’m aware.”
“what the hell were you thinking?”
“i wasn’t, sir.”
“clearly! jack, if you keep this up, i will not hesitate to scratch you!”
Yeah I will be hating you for Christmas
“like i care!”
“you should.”
“nothing matters!”
────୨ৎ────
he got an envelope from his desk and scribbled her new address on the back. the stamp was placed in the corner with extreme precision. the shredded remains of the card were placed inside, like flowers in a vase, like a body in a coffin. then, a note reading
Thanks for the Christmas card
#jack hughes#jack hughes fic#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes x reader#nj devils#njd#jh86#newjerseydevils#౨ৎ azure writes <3#nhl x reader#nhl fanfiction#nhl imagine#nhl players#new jersey devils#christmas#azure's ice cream parlor <3
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Where the Wild Things Are - Chapter 10
Chapter Ten: Family Line
Plot: Wild men or monstrous infected creatures, the world is wild and ravaged by Cordecyps but some are raised in it and flourish becoming a wild thing.
Word Count: 4K
Pairing: Joel Miller x Platonic!Teen!Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic!Reader
Warnings: canon-typical fighting/violence, injuries, harsh language, tw: NOTES OF SELF HARM, ANXIETY ATTACKS/RESPONSE, trauma from abusive mother, description of child neglect/abuse
a/n: I hope everyone enjoys the holiday season and here is a Christmas angsty post
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Scattered 'cross my family line.
I'm so good at telling lies That came from my mother's side. Told a million to survive
Scattered 'cross my family line.
God, I have my father's eyes But my sister's when I cry.
I can run, but I can't hide From my family line
Anything could happen. One wrong move can turn this into a bloodbath. You can see each individual, pausing at a woman who wears a balaclava covering the lower half of her face but you recognize those eyes. Lila squirms seemingly recognizing the group as the woman lowers her mask, both you and Lila saying the same thing.
“Mom..?” “Momma!”
The air is like daggers filling your lungs, stabbing you as you inhale, scraping and cutting you as you exhale. You’re not sure if she knows you anymore. Are you some fleeting memory of her poor child that left her? Abandoned her all those years ago. Do you even recognize her? Of course you do, she is the same in your memories, in your dreams and nightmares. She probably smells the same if you were to be in her embrace. The smokiness and burnt smell that others would cringe away but you seek comfort from it, the smell of burning wood always reminds you of her. The sharpness of almost rubbing alcohol changed to something more fruity whether it was wine or yeasty beer. But that smoky smell never left her. Even now breathing in fresh air you expect to get that hint of smoky. You are surely death gripping the reins as Lila vibrates in your saddle her hands reaching out to be taken…by her mother. You see the shocked looks from Tommy and Ellie as their gaze darts from you to the woman staring at you with equal shock. She finally speaks and it sends chills of fear but also safety through you.
“Y/n…is that really you honey…you’re alive?” She says and you think this a dream? As you see tears fill her eyes. The others that a with your mother lower their weapons and even Tommy and Ellie lower theirs too. You are speechless afraid if you say something you’ll wake up or she’ll disappear hearing you confirm you are the child she lost all those years ago.
“I’m sorry. I know this is all overwhelming. But it’s getting close to dark and infected tend to roam here. Look you should all come back with us to Jackson so we can figure,” Tommy says glancing over at you who is still silent dead staring at your mother someone he can’t help but feel like he knows, “Figure this all out.”
Your mother quickly wipes the tears from her face, “Yes I’m sorry. Thank you that is so kind of you.”
With that decided you all head towards Jackson. Tommy leading up front, Ellie in the middle with the other group including your mother, and you in the back with Lila. You’re sure Red could sense your complete shut off and taking over. You take in everything about her, her hair is longer and greying with age, and she looks the same but just older and weathered with time. She dressed normally for the weather nothing standing out, a sawed-off shotgun in her free hand the other holding her reins. You had so many questions since you knew that Kansas had fallen to infected where had she been this whole time? Lila yawns snuggling into your chest. When did she have time for another child, she could be old maybe five or six. She could have had her when you were gone makes sense, you wouldn’t know if your mother was pregnant when you were in the QZ. Or would you have? The way she just acted was nothing you experienced in the fourteen years with her. Was your leaving cause her change? Did she miss you? Looking down at Lila you feel your chest tighten, did having her change her? Was this child the reason she wanted now to be a good mother? You wince already remember her words at that comment. She was the best mother she could be with the resources she had. It’s your fault you made it harder on her to raise you. You wouldn’t have a better childhood if you listened more. Did Lila listen? Was she better at things you struggled to do before? Did she have your mother’s affection? Did she have your mother’s love? Was Lila being born a way to heal her broken heart from you abandoning her?
Your restless thoughts keep you occupied for the duration of the trip and when you come partially aware you are at the gates of Jackson right as the sunset dips below the horizon and the lights of the community start turning on. Watching the large gates open to a small crowd of people waiting for your return but also hearing of the newcomers. Your gaze sweeps seeing members of the council, Dina and Jesse there most likely for Ellie, and Joel and Maria are waiting in the forefront of the crowd. All your horses draw to a stop the stablehands come and start guiding the Jackson and outsider horses to the stables for food and rest. In your arms is a sleeping Lila, your pack and rifle still on your back an empty expression on your face. There might be a look on your face but you can’t think of one as you stare off as the man with the gruff voice helps your mother off her horse and you see a slight weight shift to her, something is either wrong with her leg or foot. You are motionless as everything else moves around you, Dina and Jesse greeting Ellie who seems to be keeping an eye on you. The council alongside Maria with their son as they speak to Tommy about the newcomers, his gaze also flickering back to you as you still just stand there. Other members of Jackson check out the new people the local doctor coming to check some of their injuries, especially a man who’s currently in a makeshift sling. You don’t notice Joel’s concerned gaze on you as people move around you but remain frozen with a little girl in your arms. One person comes over a nurse or someone comes and takes Lila from your arms and you slip your rifle and revolver off to someone so they can be locked up with the other weapons. You mumble lightly that she might have some minor injuries to check, but it comes out like, ‘Cuts…no bites…she’s hers.” Your gaze is still locked.
It’s a shock to the Millers and even those that know of you. Since you’ve been here, it’s harsh, bitter, curses or glares thrown. A hot temper, but then it mellowed out still a spitfire but wasn’t picking fights. This version was frighteningly silent, like the entire world around you faded away only focused on one thing, but even you didn’t dare to speak up or try and react. Joel just sees someone coming at you and he makes a step to go protect you but a woman throws her arms around your shoulders pulling you into a tight hug and crying into your shoulder.
“Oh thank god you’re alive. I thought all these years I lost you and I never forgave myself.” She sobs into your flannel her tears and snot getting on it, your body rigid hands held at your side as she holds you with such tender affection. This was the first time she hugged you, you would remember other times trying to get one only for her to push you away. It was always you trying desperate to initiate one but here she was holding onto you like you were going to crumble apart if she let go. She pulls away with teary eyes she clutches your cheeks looking over you taking in every detail of you and keeping it in your memory. You shudder at the eye contact, you don’t think she’s ever stared at you for this long and it only gets your heart racing more.
“You are so beautiful and all grown up. I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you then, but I was given a second chance now,” She sniffs and you don’t know what to say your hands clenching and unclenching trying to keep yourself grounded. A burning sensation at the back of your eyes.
Everyone could sense how uncomfortable you looked, not knowing how to act in this very emotional situation, “Tommy who is that?” Maria asks not fully able to hear every word being said but it was clear whoever this was knew you.
“The little girl, Lila that’s her mother,” Tommy hesitates in dropping this bomb, “She is also Y/n’s mother.” Joel’s eyes widen once he gets a better view of the woman immediately getting thrown back almost 20 years ago remember her. It was still early in the Outbreak with people being evacuated to other QZs. They were all together in the Dallas QZ until they got separated when it reached capacity. Tommy and he went to Boston and she went to another QZ. He wouldn’t have forgotten her.
“Tommy what did you do,” Maria asks immediately on edge. If that was your mother she knew exactly what she was capable of. Does she warn them to stop this? Had things truly changed with time? No, she abused you as a child she can’t change…but with her crying in front of you Maria felt hesitation to speak. Both Tommy and Joel give her a confused look before returning to look at what’s happening before them.
Your throat feels tight as you barely get the word, “M-mom…I..I” out and she’s all teary while you feel on the edge of having a breakdown.
“Shhh don’t worry about anything. All that matters is that we are together as a family. You, me, your sister,” Her mentioning Lila pushes you further to the edge, your hands squeeze so tightly you’re sure blood is drawn, “Oh honey you’ll love it,” She gushes. Honey that name you only dreamed she’d call you another step towards the edge.
“We’ve been waiting for this moment and…you have Derek…your father.”
You are shoved off the ledge as tears spill from your eyes but you know they aren’t tears of joy. It’s far from it as you see the gruff man with the bandana now lowered come over standing beside your mother. He rests a hand on your shoulder and you can feel it burning through your clothes and scarring your flesh.
“Hey kiddo…it’s been some time,” It’s like every warning bell is ringing in your head. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. You’re not supposed to get a face to the name ‘dad’, he was nameless. A bastard father to a bastard daughter. You were going to die and never know what he looks like conjured up some image of a man that is always changing. You shove your mother off you and she gasps as your father goes to steady her all eyes immediately on you. Your hands are clenched so hard in fists that your face tenses up with these wide frightened eyes. An almost pained noise comes from your throat like you want to scream or cry but are forcing it back.
“Honey..” “Kiddo.” Both your parents try reaching back to you but you take a clumsy step back and then book it pushing through the crowd. Your vision is a blur and you nearly run into Joel who tries to steady you but you shove him away and book it down the street darting down an alley. Your mother tries going after you but is held back by your father.
“Ellie,” Joel calls out getting the girl and her friends' attention, “Try and find her please.” The younger girl nods and the three young kids run off in search of you. Joel turns back to the couple bickering as Tommy and Maria approach.
“I told you it would all be too much,” The man says and the woman runs her hand through her hair, “It doesn’t matter now. We can’t take it back.” She turns to look over at the adults her gaze pausing on one familiar man.
“Joel Miller?” She seemed shocked to see him especially alive after all these years there almost seemed to be a twinge of fear in her eyes.
“It’s good to see you after all these years,” Joel says and Tommy looks between his brother and your mother and it clicks how he recognizes her. The QZ was back in Dallas in their early days. She and Joel were pretty close that was…like 18 ye— Immediately his gaze darts from both Joel to your mother, then to your ‘father’. His first memory of you was thinking how familiar you looked then when he came back with Joel it was like staring at a mirror from face down to attitude. Especially now looking at your ‘father’ you didn’t look a lick like him, maybe Lila did but you certainly did not. He squeezes his wife’s hand and flashes her a small ‘when need to talk’ look which she understands and squeezes back. Your mother laughs awkwardly.
“Yeah, what are the odds…anyway thank you for all you’ve done for our daughter it’s good having her safe with us.” She says and the irony from it given the fact you just ran off.
“It’s glad to see you alive and well,” Maria says fixing her grip on her son, “Y/n has said much about you…but not much about her father.” Her gaze moves from your mother whose gaze almost narrows to daggers to your father who looks a bit nervous.
“Unfortunately Y/n and her father haven’t had the best relationship but we’re hoping to reestablish that, especially in this world where anything can happen,” Your mother says smoothly and Maria tensely nods.
“Well…let’s get you situated with some food, check in on your other daughter, and then we’ll get you and your people settled for the night,” Tommy suggests, and your mother and her group all nod. Tommy begins leading them off to the Tipsy Bison. Maria goes over to Joel who watches the whole scene.
“Joel go find Y/n,” She says and Joel nods but he notices the conflicted look in her eyes.
“You know something,” He questions and she flashes him a look but sighs.
“Just give me time Joel, please. Go worry about her for now.” She pleads and Joel looks at her trying to unpick her but sighs and goes off and looks for you.
Joel hits your normal spots, the stables, specifically Red’s pen but not there, checks Maria and Tommy’s house to see if you’re there, and even goes to his home to see if you decided to run off there but no, he was going to head to the library when he runs into Dina who tells them they found her. The pair head out into the woods to reach a clearing, there’s an unlit stone firepit and some benches made my logs, he’s been here a few times with Ellie and Tommy, but this was mainly a spot for the younger kids.
“Go!” You screech like a wild banshee as a rock hits a stray tree. There he finds, Ellie and Jesse on the outskirts where the forest ends and the clearing starts. You are in the middle of it pacing and he feels a spike of concern seeing flecks of red in the snow.
“Y/n let’s just talk—” Ellie starts jumping back as another object is thrown in their direction a pained held-back scream.
“Fuck off!” You grit out. Your bloody hands grip your hair, your gloves tossed amongst the snow as you pace your heart racing and they can see you choking to get air in your system.
“Kids go,” Joel says and Jesse and Dina nod starting to trail away he sees Ellie look at him hesitant before she too leaves. Joel takes a step into the clearing the crunch of snow makes you whip to face him and he raises his hands like taming a wild beast. Your chest heaves as you eye him with sharp panicked eyes. Tears stream down your flushed cheeks as you continue making that pained noise.
“I’m not gonna do anything kid,” Joel says calmly as one of your hands that grips your hair moves to your flannel clutching your collar as if it’s choking you. Joel rushes as you drop to your knees with an unhuman cry like this tidal wave of emotions finally takes over. He pries your blood hand from your hair to stop harming yourself allowing you to death grip his sleeve as you scream this gutwrenching sound. Joel squeezes you close to his chest as your screams muffle in his coat soon it turns into a heartbreaking whimper. He has to look up to the sky to blink back the burn in his eyes holding you close to him his hand stroking your hair to soothe you.
“It’s okay…I got you,” He says as you tremble in his hold weak sobs and hiccups as you break down. It took a while for your cries to settle down just sniffles fill the clearing, the cold snow seeping into both of your pants a grounding force. Joel pulls back to get a good look at you and you see the pity frown as he takes in your bloodshot eyes, snotty and just out of it from your breakdown. His thumb swipes at your cheek to help rid the stray tears and you don’t even react to it. You don’t flinch at his eye contact unlike your mother, his contact doesn’t send pain throughout your body, your heart doesn’t race, nor does your chest tighten as he holds you. It’s quiet between you too as he helps you to your feet, shrugging his coat off and putting it over your shoulder to stop your shivering. Your stare is endless completely checked out as he rushes to collect your gloves shoving them in his pocket turning and seeing you still standing there. The coat seems to engulf you and he sees little droplets of blood fall from your slack fingers staining the pure snow crimson. Wrapping his arm around your back he begins guiding you out of the clearing to civilization. The other proof something happened would be the stains of blood that litter it. Like a sacrifice was needed to completely let yourself go.
Joel brings you to Rancher Street but instead of the home you’ve been staying at the past month he guides you up the porch steps to the place where it all started. The lights are dim as he guides you to sit on the couch before the still-crackling fire. Footsteps from upstairs and he sees a concerned Ellie coming down the stairs taking in the sight of you unmoving on the couch.
“Ellie get some blankets and a clean rag with water,” Joel says and Ellie rushes off the complete the order. Joel leaves his coat still on you but kneels to untie your boots and you do little to help just a deadweight. Your eyes were almost lifeless the flames of the fireplace flickering in them. Ellie returns with the items before heading off to the kitchen, Joel takes the cloth getting it damp before pushing back some of your hair seeing the scratches you caused, and being gentle to clean them away. You don’t barely react when he accidentally puts pressure on a cut as he cleans the blood and tears from your face. Once your face is clean he goes to work on your bloody hands when their a knock on the door.
“Joel, go I got this,” Ellie says returning with a steaming cup of what looks like hot chocolate, to try and lift your spirits. Joel lets the young girl take over heading to answer the door. There he finds his brother alongside his wife and child.
“Did you find her?” Tommy asks and Joel leads them inside from the cold but not completely in. They can see Ellie speaking softly to you as she cleans your hands but your gaze remains on the flames an exhausted look on your face. “Christ,” Tommy sighs pinching the bridge of his nose and Maria looks over a high wave of emotions seeing you completely shut down.
“Her…her mother…wanted to see know if she would be staying with them,” Tommy asks and Joel immediately feels a rush of anger, “I know it’s a stupid question.”
“Hell no Tommy,” Joel spats, “You think any normal person would react the way she did if they saw their mother and father again? I won’t let that happen.” He points at your lifeless body as Ellie tries offering you the drink but it’s like she’s invisible staring right through her.
“I know that Joel, you think I didn’t see that as well, but that’s her kid. Y/n is their family,” Tommy sighs and Joel scoffs.
“And is she not ours?! Who took care of her all these months? Who let her in their home when she thought she had no one? Who did she cry to and confided to? Us Tommy!” Joel points at himself then at his brother and wife, “Sure I know her mom and we all had our history together, but if my child tears themselves to the point of bleeding at the sight of them I’m not going to stand by.”
“I agree with Joel,” Maria's voice is smooth but a held-back anger in her tone. She holds her son with the protection of a mother and if she could she would be right over by you holding and comforting you. Both Miller brothers are surprised at Maria’s stance and Joel scrutinizes her trying to pick her apart to learn what she knows.
“You know they aren’t going to like this,” Tommy says but the looks on both Maria and Joel’s faces make him sigh. Both of them are willing to die on this hill. “I’ll go let them know that she’s already asleep.” With that, Tommy presses a kiss to his wife’s temple before leaving the home. Joel looks back seeing that you are indeed asleep with Ellie resting her head on the armrests looking over you. Maria rests a hand on Joel’s shoulder as he looks down at his sister-in-law.
“Just take care of her Joel,” Maria says and Joel nods as Maria leaves. Joel comes over to Ellie who looks over you with such genuine concern and care.
“Come on kiddo,” He says offering a hand and pulling the teen to her feet keeping her close to his chest, both drained from the high emotions.
“Will she be alright Joel?” She asks and Joel is silent looking down at you resting on the couch a frown on your face. Even in sleep, you were being tormented.
“She will…come on up to bed,” Joel says and Ellie tiredly listens heading up the stairs as Joel begins putting out the fire. He turns to where you lay lit by the sliver of light from the window and the hallway lights. His hand pushes your hair back making sure you’re comfortable, he doesn’t stop himself from smoothing out the crease between your brows and you seem to settle more a bit of tension released. A flash of Sarah covers your feature and he flinches at the resemblance of his daughter. Why looking at you brought memories of the daughter he lost confused him. There were moments when Ellie acted that reminded him of Sarah but the two of them were nothing alike, while Ellie was loud and brash, Sarah was gentle and soft-spoken This brief moment you look so young and innocent, a child that never got to be a child. You looked like his child.
“No one’s going to hurt you babygirl,” He says as he rises to his feet looking down at his daughter until he blinks and there you lay. He whispers into the air his oath to you.
“I promise.”
Where the Wild Things Are Tags
@afictionaladventure16 @amy172 @amyispxnk @ashisabitgay @batgurl42 @bobbypickl3 @christinamadsen @clovergray @cozyphine @daemontargaryenwhore @darthrue @daughterofthequeen @ellistyle @enamoredofbella @enfppixie @enfppuff @fictional-character-whore @frootloops1213 @gods-menace @ilovehotdadsandshit @ioonatv @jmillersgirl @kitdjarin1 @lainekyuu @legoemma @lemonlaides @lorenaloveslewis @love-giselle @lovelyygirl8 @lunawants @maelartasch @marvelandhamilton @melonmochi @minaridior @n7cje @oscarissac2099 @pandorascosmic @phoenixgurl030 @poetoflawed @queenofthekill @randomhoex @rannifer @rhaenyramistress @scoliobean @screechingsandwichtriumph @severussimp @shotgun-shelby @stargurl99 @stickthegremlin @strangesthirdeye @supernerdycookietrashblrr @theclassicvinyldragon @theredvelvetbitch @todoroki-simp @tracysnook @viviio3o @wife-to-pedro-pascal @your-shifting-gurl
If your name is crossed out tumblr won’t let me tag you for some reason. Sorry :(
#where the wild things are#where the wild things are series#the last of us#the last of us hbo#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller x teen!reader#joel miller x platonic!reader#joel#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#joel x reader#ellie williams#ellie williams x platonic!reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x reader#ellie x reader#ellie x you#tommy miller#tommy miller x platonic!reader#tommy miller x you#tommy miller x reader
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I don't want to go ! Part 2
Pairing : Lee Minho x gn!reader ; established relationship
Genre : angsty, hurt/comfort, fluffy ending
Word count : about 930
Warnings : phobia of needles ; crying ; panick attack ig (idk if it's exactly one)
Author's note : I'm so sorry for taking so much time to post it but it's out now for Christmas (btw merry christmas to everybody who celebrates it and happy day to everyone doesn't <3) ; lots of love and bisous to @giddyfatherchris for helping me ; the pics on top are not mine, credits to the owners
Request : « Can you do a part 2 of the don't want to go lee known fic, where lee know comforts the character while getting a shot, the character cries too, maybe puts up a fight because she doesn't want to get a shot? Lee know tries to keep distracted. » by @200billionlightyearsaway
Masterlist || Part 1
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Honestly, you are happy to have Minho with you, his presence is always reassuring. But at the same time, it's so embarrassing. How could a grown-up like you need their boyfriend to go to the doctor? You feel so childish.
You don't notice the way he's looking at you with slight concern, but you do feel him taking your hand. You smile at him and he simply squeezes your hand. You give your name to the secretary for the appointment, then go in the waiting room. Everything seems so slow, you feel like you're waiting forever. Why are doctors always late?
When you are finally called, you don't even know if you are relieved to leave the room full of sick people or if you want to run away even more. You tense up as you enter the medical room and Minho's hold on your hand tightens.
It's like you're not completely there when the doctor asks a few questions, letting Minho answer as you try to handle the anxiety threatening to overwhelm you. You feel so stupid. Why are you so damn scared of a simple fucking needle ?
Minho has to call your name three times to finally get you to react. You blink a few times before slowly getting up, your movement almost shaky. Your body feels weak as you walk to the examination chair and you are just unable to let go of your boyfriend's hand. The sound of your own heartbeat pulsing in your ears and your already heavy breathing covers everything else around you. You can't see the look of worry on Minho's face as your eyes get glassy, but when you hear the doctor pulling out the needle, you break down.
You instinctively grip his arm as you can't hold back the tears that immediately fill your eyes, looking up at him with genuine distress. You can't do this. You don't know why you react so strongly, but you just can't keep it together. You suddenly start crying, pulling on Minho's arm and messily begging him to get you out of here. You don't care about what the doctor might think of you anymore, all you want is to go home.
"Baby, baby... It's okay. Calm down, love. Just calm down. he whispers sweetly as he cups your face and crouches down to be at your eye level, but it doesn't help.
— No it's not ! I can't just fucking calm down ! You think I do this on purpose ? You think it's easy ? I can't –"
You want to keep talking, keep telling him how you feel, how wrong he is, but you can't. A loud sob interrupts you and you just can't speak anymore. You cower down and cover your face as you cry, vainly attempting to suppress your sobs. Of course you know you should calm down, of course you know your reaction is disproportionate, but you can't control it.
Minho's heart clenches at the sight. He hates seeing you in this state, but it's not like he's going to blame you. He lets out a soft, pained sigh before carefully wrapping his arms around you. He holds you gently, with all the love of a man who only wants to comfort his partner.
You bury your face into his neck, shaky hands coming up to clutch his shirt lightly. He doesn't say a word, simply holding you close and rubbing your back. In a last surge of resistance, you weakly whisper that you want to leave, even trying to get up but it's halfhearted. You know you have to take that damn shot. Minho just keeps you there when you try to move, pressing you against his chest.
"Baby ? You're going to get the shot okay ? You can do it, baby. I won't let go of you, I'll be right there. You can cling on me all you want. But we have to do it, okay ?" he whispers softly without pulling away.
You don't reply, don't nod, but your lack of protests serves as a silent agreement. Minho kisses your forehead lightly in encouragement before looking at the doctor and nodding for her to go ahead. He talks you through it, keeps you close and lets you squeeze him, not even reacting when you dig your nails into his shoulder.
The doctor puts down the empty needle, patiently waiting for you both to be done. Minho tries to be a bit quick as to not make her wait too much, but still takes his time to make sure that you're fine.
"Are you okay kitten ?" he asks softly, watching as you nod weakly.
He presses a small, tender kiss to your lips before turning to the doctor, keeping your hand in his. You hear him apologize to the doctor, but she's quick to reassure him. Kids are way worse, and we can't control our phobias. Minho gives her a soft smile before paying, grateful for her understanding.
He looks at you again and his gaze softens with love when his eyes meet yours. You look drained, exhausted even, and honestly you are. He helps you get up, bows towards the doctor and leads you out. He holds your hand all the way to the car, only letting go when you are settled in your seat so he can go to his own.
"You're okay. he says softly.
— I love you. you reply and he chuckles at the suddenness of the declaration, a mix of amusement and fondness filling his heart.
— Me too, kitten. So much." He whispers before kissing you gently.
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do not repost, translate or rewrite without my written authorisation
#stray kids#skz#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#lee know#lee minho#skz imagines#stray kids imagine#skz x gn reader#stray kids x gn reader#skz fluff#stray kids fluff#lee minho x reader#lee know x reader#lee minho x you#lee know x you#skz x you#stray kids x you#lee minho x y/n#lee know x y/n#skz x y/n#stray kids x y/n#lee minho fluff#lee know fluff#sambi writes#skz hurt/comfort#stray kids hurt/comfort#lee minho imagines#lee know imagines#skz minho
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