#i HATED the jokes
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Finally cycled back to finishing Tress (I'm not convinced it was a good idea)... Anyway, is it just me or was Ulaam written like an off-brand Igor from Discworld? Like I know the kandra are weird but the body part jokes were too much
#tress of the emerald sea#ss1#brandon sanderson#cosmere#ulaam#mistborn#terry pratchett#discworld#igor#city watch#books#reading#this really bugged me#i HATED the jokes#i didn't really love the book#it was too whimsical for me
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
“their relationship is too deep to be sexual” what’s deeper than dick in hole. please tell me
#people missing context this was about the wwdits show runners pulling a 2012-era queerbait#and was a joke#also if you're going to send me an anon asking me why i hate ace people. miss me with your homophobia thanks
52K notes
·
View notes
Text
#&c.#chatter chatter#🦎🌿#aromantic#asexual#aroace#alterhuman#changed the content of the original post bc some of yall in the tags are clowns (this is an aro joke i made bc im sick of amatonormativity#and so many people in the tags completely missed the point and then reinforced that amatonormativity and im pissed about it)#this breached containment like hell. it got 15k notes. i hate it here. so i changed it#this wont stop people being annoying in the tags but it gives me some release
33K notes
·
View notes
Text
STATEMENT: im really proud of dan, it must take immense bravery to pretend to not want to kiss blonde phil. if i had blonde phil so close to my face and the chance to kiss him i would stick our lips together with super glue, this took a level of acting skills i frankly didnt know he possessed within him, and i must applaud him for it.
#i feel ready to joke about this i feel better i dont hate them that was funny but they could have posted it a tad bit earlier :3#dnp#dan and phil#phan#dan howell#phil lester#daniel howell#dnp tit#d&p#dip and pip#amazingphil#dnptit#phlonde i want him
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like Jon is a bit of a rebound…
#I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: you can shove ANYTHING into gravity falls#but I mean the TMA lends itself to gf so well are you joking#bill just hangs around the archive and Jon hates him#Martin also hates him#it’s my belief that Ford and Jon have met at least once#my art#tma#the magnus archives#jon sims#jonathan sims#bill cipher#gravity falls
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
Vanny's type in FNAF is so obvious...
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#mike schmidt#tape girl#fnaf vanny#fnaf tonya#fnaf vanessa#glitchtrap#fnaf movie#fnaf help wanted#security breach#fnaf fanart#THIS COMIC IS UNSERIOUS#BUT also yay taps girl again!!! 🩵#A saw a couple folks make the joke Mike and tape girl had similar vibes#and that Vanny has a ‘type’ of sorts#WHICH TBH I think is sorta sweet?#like Vanessa likes people who are far calmer than her#seeing how hectic her own mind gets#having calm vibes around her woukd soothe her.. it’s cute#glitchtrap gotta MIND his own business 😤#tbh Vanessa and Glitchtrap’s dynamic will never not be funny#she hates that dude and for good reason 🩵🩵🩵
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
»»------------------------------««
Throwing tomatoes at Jimmy stimboard
Req by myself
Note ; I hate him and want to throw things at him and expect a stimboard for my queen Anya <33
Another note ; HELP THANKS FOR SO MANY NOTES??? 😭 didn't expect this would be my most popular stimboard atm
🍅-👊-🍅
👊-🍅-👊
🍅-👊-🍅
»»------------------------------««
#autism#stim blog#actually autistic#stim#stimblr#stimming#stim gifs#stimboard#visual stim#punching stim#fighting stim#mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#i hate jimmy#i want to throw him at a wall#tomato stim#fruit stim#tomatoe stimboard#mouthwashing jimmy#boo tomato tomato#cursed stim#joke stimboard#this is so unserious#unserious stimboard#mouthwashing shitpost#mouthwashing stimboard#angry stim#wrong organ#Critical Reflex#anti stim
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
do you ever just … picture a whole scene, a whole fanfiction in your head, you know how to place every single word of the english dictionary that you need (or your language dictionary), you know how to structure your sentences, you know just what your characters are going to say to each other and then… and then you just open microsoft word.
#writing memes#i hate writing#joking#i love it#it’s just hard#the writing process#writing humor#writing#writers block#writers on tumblr#ao3 writer#writeblr#writerscommunity#writers and poets
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
The number one Perirep hater: Timmy Fairywinkle-Cosma.
#i don't actually hate perirep btw this is a JOKE#fop a new wish#perirep#just in case someone has that tag blocked#fopanw#fop peri#timmy turner#my art#fairy timmy
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
An argument against the car symbol is that drawing cars is harder than circles (planets)
#life series#traffic smp#wild life smp#smallishbeans#this took too long only to be mildly funny#the joke was to do serious fanart but i hate detailing#anyway my actual opinion is that everyone should draw and write whatever celestial symbol they want#wild life spoilers
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
#/j#am I really joking though. who knows.#I actually just sat and flailed on my bed and screamed for half an hour I'm unwell#I Hate My Chemical Romance#I have to dissappear forever now that is the only solution#my chemical romance#mcr#gerard way#mikey way#frank iero#ray toro#the black parade#when we were young fest#when we were young 2024
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
speaking of “day of the dove”, it deserves to be famous just for the part where the Klingon captain is talking to Kirk and Spock and his wife who’s just been beamed aboard comes up and starts laying into him and he goes “my wife and science officer” by way of explanation and introduction and it cuts to Kirk and Spock looking at them like this for no real reason
which could mean nothing
#give them a second they’re buffering still#I know they looked nonplussed but the pacing of the cutaway is half of the joke#I know Kirk is just in ‘I hate Klingons’ mode but in my heart he’s mad because being married to the science officer is HIS thing#I’m really on a roll with the bad posts today#ftr I do know it means nothing actually I just think it’s funny#tos#star trek#spirk
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m gonna be honest idk what’s happening in house md most of the time, the only thing i’m focused on is robert sean leonard serving dr. mario realness
#this is a joke i love rsl this is not slander#house md#james wilson#robert sean leonard#gregory house#hate crimes md#malpractice md
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
The OG Herobrine is just funny to me
#minecraft#herobrine#canon vs fanon#i made this before going to bed#no hate on you guys#I only made this as a joke#my stuff
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
uhuh yea sure buddy whatever you say man
#james wilson#house md#house md fanart#hate crimes md#hilson#robert sean leonard#rsl#whiny big brown eyed whimpery beautiful no rizz man#malpractice md#denial is a river in egypt#yes i made that joke before shut up#p.e.w.art
2K notes
·
View notes