#i HATED the jokes

[lizziestudieshistory]

Finally cycled back to finishing Tress (I'm not convinced it was a good idea)... Anyway, is it just me or was Ulaam written like an off-brand Igor from Discworld? Like I know the kandra are weird but the body part jokes were too much

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[cahootings]

“their relationship is too deep to be sexual” what’s deeper than dick in hole. please tell me

[neurovarious]

[evermorepeyton]

STATEMENT: im really proud of dan, it must take immense bravery to pretend to not want to kiss blonde phil. if i had blonde phil so close to my face and the chance to kiss him i would stick our lips together with super glue, this took a level of acting skills i frankly didnt know he possessed within him, and i must applaud him for it.

[noodles-and-tea]

I feel like Jon is a bit of a rebound…

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanny's type in FNAF is so obvious...

[phantomhivestims]

»»------------------------------««

Throwing tomatoes at Jimmy stimboard

Req by myself

Note ; I hate him and want to throw things at him and expect a stimboard for my beloved Anya <33

🍅-👊-🍅

👊-🍅-👊

🍅-👊-🍅

»»------------------------------««

[soleilsplanet]

do you ever just … picture a whole scene, a whole fanfiction in your head, you know how to place every single word of the english dictionary that you need (or your language dictionary), you know how to structure your sentences, you know just what your characters are going to say to each other and then… and then you just open microsoft word.

[jaytalking]

The number one Perirep hater: Timmy Fairywinkle-Cosma.

[hootyhoowoo]

Craning just a little, Shen Qingqiu looked past the lord’s shoulder.

Luo Binghe stared down one of the most powerful cultivators in the human world, and scoffed. His lips twisted into a smile that was anything but happy. Shen Qingqiu’s heart stuttered - though maturity had given his former apprentice’s features grace and refinement, they were of course still familiar to him. But he hadn’t ever seen such an expression on them before. It was the kind of look that taunted the person across from it, as if to say ‘come pick a fight with me - I’ll enjoy watching you lose’.

The bolt of heat it shot right through him was entirely inappropriate, and he immediately decided to pretend that it never happened.

-

‘I Wish You Were My Husband’ -by Feynite Chapter 4

[lilacpaperbird]

american tiktok refugees have flooded rednote/xiaohongshu and this is how chinese wincesties are responding to the antis lmao

Translation:

To Wincest Haters

1. All foreign Destiel shippers must add honorifics when addressing Wincesties.

2. Foreign Destiel shippers are not allowed to interrupt conversations between Wincesties

3. Foreign Destiel shippers must greet Wincesties every morning and evening.

4. Posts by foreign Destiel shippers must not exceed 14 characters, must include punctuation, and cannot include include any offensive or disrespectful remarks. Posts with emojis ranked first in Xiaohongshu are prohibited.

5. Foreign Destiel shippers are forbidden from using stickers/memes.

6. Foreign Destiel shippers must obtain permission from Wincesties before sending images or voice messages.

7. Foreign Destiel shippers can only post 10 comments per day; exceeding this limit will result in a ban.

8. Foreign Destiel shippers are prohibited from posting any information that defames Wincesties.

9. At 10 PM a curfew will be imposed on all foreign Destiel shippers.

[mini-minish]

regarding that recent discourse on tw*ter of if andrew would like aaron's kids or not: im not listening to any of you. neil josten literally sent me these pictures himself 🧡

[lu-dlc]

An argument against the car symbol is that drawing cars is harder than circles (planets)

[naddyartz]

The OG Herobrine is just funny to me

[shrub-rose]