#i DO have an issue with all of the immature people trying to cause problems on BOTH SIDES

[timetravelrocks]

rhetorical question here what's the syscourse stance for "endogenic plurality and dissociative disorder systems are two completely different experiences and thus should not be compared to one another"/"endos in theory CAN exist but shouldn't be within CDD circles and vice versa unless explicitly allowed by all involved"

normally we'd stay away from this sort of topic but i (⛓️) feel that syscourse is so focused on comparing these two experiences that shouldn't be compared in the first place? probably falls into the "neutral" umbrella, as does this blog, but... i don't know. it feels like the possibility needs to be brought up more. if we weren't so dissociated right now, i would go on a longer rant explaining exactly what i mean. maybe i'll get to that later (presuming any of us remember to do so)

syscourse interactions are allowed on this post specifically

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

So with some of the takes I've been seeing in the Wandee Goodday tag, I wanted to share my perspective.

Just to note - I firmly believe art is subjective and what we see can vary a great deal based on our own perspectives and lived experiences. I'm not calling anyone wrong, I'm just saying this is my personal take on things. (I feel like this should be obvious, but nuance is so often lost online).

And my main goal with watching QL is fun and escapism. I'm here to have a good time. I tend to go with the flow, I like imperfect characters (I even like the fucked-up ones), and I trust the characterization and plot elements to be doing what they need to do until a problem shows within the narrative itself.

Ok, disclaimers done - here's my take on Dee & Yak's interactions around the fake dating idea.

I think all of their interactions are deeply affected by the degree to which they have already developed genuine feelings for each other, but are not yet in a place to admit it, even to themselves.

Do I think Yak has real concerns about being out as a boxer trying to hit a career high? Absolutely. But I think his quick jump to a "let's end this" reaction was mostly a kneejerk attempt to protect himself for what he felt when Dee, the man he is already emotionally connected to, and desperately wants to be able to kiss, dropped a request for fake dating over a real deepening of their relationship.

We don't yet know the level of societal homophobia this show is aiming for, BL land can go many different ways with this, but considering his brother's openness in the gym that he owns, training boxers, there is a tone being set. Yak literally holds hands with Dee in the middle of the street. He doesn't panic when people recognize him at the hospital. This may change, but I'm going to trust the signposts that his career concerns are valid, yes, but are not the dominant issue between them.

Similarly, is Dee competitive and overly focused on winning? Clearly. It's set up in his earlier conversation with Yak for a reason. But at the same time, his insistence that it has to be Yak is not just about his need to win - again, this is about genuine feeling. He wants Yak. This is a way to get Yak, and to frame it to himself in a way that feels less scary and vulnerable, especially after being hurt by Ter.

I know a lot of people saw Dee as being pushy. I do agree with that, and yes it is going to cause more issues for them in the future. But I wish more people also saw Yak holding firm to his boundaries and refusing to give in to the immature behavior from Dee, showing why he's such a good partner for Dee.

And sure, we haven't seen Dee support Yak as much so far, but the scene with the mother and child wasn't there just for kicks. Dee is empathetic and caring, and that will be important in his relationship with Yak as well. He is there for people when things are at their worst.

Some people see Dee on the bridge as being manipulative.

I saw Dee as finally cutting out the toddler shit and being emotionally real about why he's taking the scholarship too seriously, how sensitive he is to what people think of him, why Yak is someone he trusts implicitly, and how he knows it's not Yak's problem and it isn't fair to expect him to fix it.

Some people see Yak as finally agreeing to fake date as showing he is weak to emotional manipulation.

I see a man who has more agency than that. I see a man who is affected by seeing genuine vulnerability both because of how caring he is as an individual, and because of how much he wants a real emotional connection to Dee. And eyes-open, he makes a choice.

These are two characters who have never just been friends with benefits from the beginning. And the narrative has never been about what they are saying. It's about what they are feeling.

[arrenlebanen777]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS 111

"everything can be transcended" ✨Sun Scorpio in 5th house: is very dramatic, intense, all or nothing, usually when they where kids they likes to listen metal or very intense music like "gojira" or emo like "placebo", high libido, they love making dark and mysterious art like movie scores, dramatic acting, techno, art that involves chaos, eroticism or s*xuality too. ✨Chiron in our natal chart can be treated a lot and that's when it becomes a healer, but if it's not treated it's just pain. ✨Sun scorpio in Aries degrees(1, 13, 25):  not the mysterious type of scorpio, but rather raw, blunt, and feisty (sometimes quite impatient). ✨Sun square NN: Problems with ego and soul, It is recommended to do spiritual practices here that allow to tame (dominate/transcend) the ego, because the ego here can play a rather hindering role in the evolution of the individual because doesn't want to disappear: fear of letting go, attachment, immature rebelliousness. ✨Pluto conjunct Chiron generation(s): have problems with real self love, because they try to love themselves first without knowing themselves, which generates quite arrogant, immature, lack of integrity and demanding people/personalities (crystal generation). ✨Mars square Moon: explosive anger(like bakugo's type), very fiery, hot, extremely passionate, mood swings, they have to learn to channel that strong energy by doing something physical like running, yoga, exercise, swimming, martial arts, and at the same time connect them with their emotions otherwise that energy can go to extremes such as violence, anguish or overindulgence. ✨Mars opposite Part of Fortune: Gives Mars in Aries type of behavior. +18 ✨Mars aspecting Saturn: Here I am going to share something intimate and an easter egg(for men): I know that this position could indicate small d*ck, but there are so many natural ways/exercises to make it grow bigger that if you do them in a saturnian way (this means with discipline, effort, persistence and persevering) you will be "rewarded" For example in my case(mars trine saturn): A few years ago I had it 5 inches and now I have it almost 8 inches. So everything is possible. ✨Mars in Taurus or Taurus degrees(2, 14, 26): could suffer from premature ejaculation(P.E). They might overload any of their 5 senses during s*x just to increase s*nsual pl*asure... Since 5 senses here are so strong, they have to learn to manage/channel their s*xual energy throughout their whole body, mind and spirit so that the energy is not only concentrated in the g*nital area, which is what causes premature ej*culation. If they do this, they can become very good in bed and even last a long time satisfying each of the 5 senses of their partner and of him at the same time in the encounter. ✨Mars in Aries or Aries degrees(1, 13, 25): Something similar happens with Mars in Taurus but instead here the problem is quickness and selfishness, which could cause s*x to be short and fast, although they are very hot and intense so here the time does not matter but the intensity of the encounter is what satisfies them. Here they are like the partner who likes rough s*x, quickies and if they set their minds to it, they can last a long time since they have a lot of energy/stamina. ✨Mars in leo but in cancer degrees(4, 16, 28): have mommy issues, is very k*nky, childish, they are quite comfortable to be around since they have a dominating aura but in a very maternal way, its like very protective energy, they could be very lazy, they have a lot of drive but they will start only if they feel like it(cancer influence), much of his drive goes to things that give him comfort and nurture him. ✨I have seen that much of what our mars and venus desire s*xually it is very superficial since they make up our personality and ego. And if you want to see what it is that you s*xually desire most deeply, look at your 8th house, even if it is empty, that can say a lot too. Since the 8th house represents our hidden side, it also represents our intimacy at soul level (that's the deep side of scorpio) like all water houses. So in the periods of life where you follow the s*xual desires of your Mars and Venus and you feel empty, remember that they will only fill your ego/persona which always leaves a feeling of emptiness inside that unconsciously makes you go for more, because the ego can never be filled. If you really want to have your s*xual life on another level, in a higher vibration, more spiritual, more transcendental, more healing, more nutritious and full, look at your water houses (4th house, 8th house, and 12th house) or where you have Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces in your chart since s*xuality(sacral chakra) is the water element of our human bodies.

[xvxnux]

don't!

(⭐) today is my birthday and i thought i'd post this pac about "what you shouldn't accept?". intuitive tarot reading and maybe not resonate with everyone, hope you enjoy this.

i

for pic one i see it's important that you don't allow any more emotional abuse. i see that you can have someone of influence or power (it can be a mother, father, boss) that directly affects your emotional and with that overloading your mental causing you to have heavy crises of anxiety and even depression. i see that it doesn't just stop there and that this person makes you feel diminished. it's important that you see the best way to work this out and try to get out of this pic one situation, unfortunately they do this to you out of pure evil and not because they want you to learn something. definitely that person has personal issues with you but I don't see a deep reason for that person to do that. it was probably things based in the person's own head and it's reflecting some kind of HER frustration on top of you.

random: i see that this person can attract fights and arguments to you, and i see that you are unwilling and unhealthy to face them. i also see that you will find some way to feel more peaceful and with that the fights and arguments will not affect you as much as now because you will be with inner peace. meditation, listening to your favorite music can help you. if you are asking for a spiritual direction i see that this north is about to be revealed to you and regardless of what the only thing you need to do is take the opportunity and move on, taking yourself out of this suffering.

ii

first of all pic two is not true! everything people say about you is a lie! the people around you (some friends or relatives) have only one function in your life at the moment: to let you down, to say that you can't do it, to say that you won't make it and that you shouldn't even try! the point is that you urgently need to cut these people out of your life. these people have no consideration and at least respect for you, people are cruel and spit any shit on you. honestly pic two people do this because they know it's easy to manipulate you, your ideas and your ideals. you are definitely a super open person and you trust these people, and the more you believe that you are everything they say the more you believe in people... you are sinking.

you may be afraid of being alone, and as much as you know yourself deep down and love the fact that you are like that, all that changes when you have to deal with people. Is it easier for you to believe in people, sinking like this just in exchange for a shitty friendship or company? not. you won't be alone, pic two, but you need to get these people out of your way or at least get the influence these people have on you.

random: you may be neglecting someone. not giving the real value that person deserves. there's someone wanting to get close, but you don't let that person in because of sheer arrogance and bad influence opinions. be careful not to become the people who hurt you pic two, that way you will definitely be alone!

iii

i see injustices of other people towards you, actually a person. i see that apart from this injustice you already have a big problem with yourself. this person can hurt you even though you know you have other issues that make you feel bad. It's been a while since you've felt a little happiness, right? i understand you. this pile can serve the people who chose pic one. this person is sapping your energy more and more, is a person who can be dramatic and blame bad choices on you. it's a person who sneaks up on you and hurts you when you're okay... ok, i get it. this person waits for you to recover to destroy you and with that you are in an infinite loop! this person who commits these cruelties against you is an immature person and uses a sharp tongue knowing that it will not have great consequences but it's time for you to turn against this person, you need to put him in his place!

you can refuse to impose yourself due to lack of patience or even avoid conflict, but it's better to get into a big fight where you have chances to attack than to be in a constant fight where you just get beaten. no matter how much you spare yourself i see that nothing will change. unfortunately you will have to go against it.

random: i see you are going to receive a gift, a very good opportunity. this can be a work or study opportunity, i see that with this opportunity you will have great financial gains.... it will be your chance to get out of this situation! but make no mistake, pic three, as long as you hide from the conflicts you will remain in the same situation.

[pseudowho]

Hi Mrs. Haitch :D!!! I have a bit of a problem dump in the following 2 paragraphs. And I absolutely do not expect you to read or respond unless you want to! You’re not a therapist and you’re not responsible for others’ emotions. If you do want to read/reply, that’s really welcomed as well!

I personally have had/am having issues with men who are in their thirties hitting on me when I thought I made it clear I just want to be completely platonic friends AND they all knew my age from the start 🥲 TW - I was 19 when two 33 year olds sexually harassed me (one was a coworker who said stuff out of the blue, like, “you want kids? I’ll put one in you” (for context, he heard me talking to my co-hostess about wanting to raise children in the ways I never got loved, nurtured, and cared for) // “What if I touch myself and moan your name?” // “Wanna hear a joke TRIGGER WARNING “Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot kids inside you” which was literally such a disgusting and inexcusable joke??? Hello?) and currently there’s a 30 year old guy who KEEEEEPS trying to get me to be his super close friend (he was flirting CONSTANTLY until I made it really overly clear I don’t want romance with anyone atm). He knows I am 21 as well! Which is wild to me! Just wild. I’ve literally FELT my frontal lobe developing in the past few years (It’s like I could suddenly start to understand the importance of more practical decisions), and it won’t stop developing until I’m 25 either. So for a full grown 30 year old… to be… I’m 9 year younger than him… idk… it’s weird to me…

and I was wondering, should I feel bad for these people? Would you let pity/guilt override the judgment? (I am not perfect at all and have my share of flaws, but I have had a issues with letting hurt people who hurt people, get away with stuff they do to me AND I feel guilty for not being their personal therapist, even though expecting that of any single person who ISN’T one’s professional therapist, is unfair). You seem like a kind person who understands the depth of humans, so I think I trust your judgment! And would love to hear what you have to say if you want to share. The 33 year olds have deep rooted issues and my heart truly sympathizes with them (but I do feel a shit ton of disgust too. if they ever did that to somebody else I would be SO MAD).

I’m eventually somehow gonna figure these questions out (as life tends to go), so don’t worry about this ask at all if it’s not ur cup of tea, or is draining.

Take care and hope you have a LOVEEEELYYYY DAYYYYYY!!!! (Also curious what ur fav tea is? Mine is Numi’s earl gray. It’s too perfect, so elevated. Very flavorful and elegant and THE NOTESSSSSS oh god. Could write a whole post on it)

Anyone who thinks comments like that are flirting, need to be re-educated. With a baseball bat. They'll call it 'dark humour' when really they're just cunts, so they're doing you a real favour showing you that early.

Well done for not being flattered by the attentions of an older man, because...

If there's anything that women aged 30+ tend to notice, it's that when men their age hit on much younger women, it's usually because that man's character is lacking, he's emotionally immature, a predator who relies on younger women and girls being less self confident, and it is most often a RED FLAG.

These 30+ year old men are usually not with women their own age, because the women their own age recognise that they're arseholes or losers, most of the time, and we cringe when they then repeatedly shoot their shot with young women who they will flatter with that age old adage of 'you're so mature for your age!'

If they have deep-seated issues and they turn it into someone else's problem, without any sense of ownership or willingness to actually work on resolving or improving from their issues, RUN.

Never get with someone out of pity. Have some self-respect, and do not let them mistake your kindness for weakness.

Because people see me as understanding, I am a therapist. To everyone. All the time. Strangers, within hours of meeting me, will often pour out their emotional vulnerabilities and traumas; while I'm tough and able to compute it all, and to help them, and read through a solution, it is sometimes a heavy burden.

But for YOU, remember there is a difference between you therapising someone, and someone using you to trauma-dump. Learn to recognise the two, and protect yourself from being used, especially if these are the very same men who have recently been trying to get into your pants.

My favourite tea is Yorkshire Tea by Taylors of Harrogate, with a splash of milk and a spoonful of brown sugar or honey.

Don't let these pieces of shit use you, kiddo.

They're not "daddies"; they haven't earned such an esteemed title. Nothing daddy about these tramps.

All my love, and I have a knife in my pocket,

-- Haitch xxx

[demonqueenart]

Hey, thanks for bringing this stuff about DnP to light! Obviously, as a someone who’s been a fan of theirs (and still is) for about ten years now, it’s a hard pill to swallow, but even when I was younger I could tell that some of the jokes/statements they made were definitely in poor taste. I never acknowledged the wider hurt it may have caused, though, and I’m definitely learning to be better than that and listen to when poc are talking about these issues.

I guess there’s definitely an element of defence, particularly in this day and age, where people immediately assume that their faves are being cancelled and they’ll rush to defend them to avoid that from happening. To be fair, I’ve been that person before in the past, but I’ve learnt to internalise that “no, people aren’t trying to cancel DnP or ruin people’s fun, and believing that is simply immature; we are simply holding them accountable so that they can make amends and make the space more inclusive to everyone.”

I know there isn’t anyone that you can fully trust, but DnP have always shown capacity for kindness, acceptance and inclusion (as a trans person, I noticed over the years how they became more and more trans inclusive with their language, which was nice to see), especially with their recent support for Palestine which so many other creators have not bothered to even talk about, so I want to hold out hope that they would genuinely want to make up for what they’ve done, and I really hope they do. We all hope that. In the meantime, it’s up to us a phandom to make the space more inclusive to poc fans and to allow this conversation to happen without getting scared or angry or defensive.

I’d also like to point out, even though I know that this isn’t in any way related to the conversation at hand, that I was personally disappointed by a tour announcement because I knew I wouldn’t be able to go. Even though the most basic tickets are technically cheap, they’re still not accessible to a lot of poor people, and considering the UK is going through a cost of living crisis right now, it was certainly a bit of a slap in the face. I will admit, I was incredibly surprised that Dan put WAD on YouTube for free, so there is obviously a growing understanding on their part that their tours aren’t accessible to everyone, so I’m hoping they’ll find a way to make this new tour accessible, but I still think this tour has a problem with exclusivity in a LOT of different areas, as you’ve pointed out. I have friends from different continents who have complained about the exclusivity of the tour, even from friends who are in Europe (but aren’t in the more Western parts of Europe; there are no shows in Greece for example, despite the fact that there’s a large number of English-speaking phans in Greece).

One last thing I want to mention, though, I saw an anon talk about the subtitles on their videos. I have sensory processing issues, and I’ve always found that their videos have proper subtitles on them. I’m not sure whether I’ve missed some videos, but I’ve watched a substantial amount of their content and I haven’t found the subtitles to be a problem, so I’m wondering if perhaps the subtitle issue might be an individual issue instead? Again, I really don’t want to assume if I’ve got something wrong, but for me personally, DnP are one of the only YouTubers I’ve been able to trust to have proper subtitles on the majority of their videos, so that ask confused me. If anyone’s able to clear up that confusion, I’d appreciate it, because I don’t want to misrepresent someone else’s experiences just bc they don’t match mine.

Anyway, I’m really sorry for the long ask. Again, thank you for bringing this all to light, and I really hope things improve. I will always love Dan and Phil, and I trust that their hearts are in the right place the majority of the time, so I really do hope they grow from this. I’ve seen genuine growth from them over the years already, but there’s still a way to go, and none of us can shy away from it no matter how much we want to.

Stay safe, and have a nice day!

I'm glad I can be the one to shed light on racism and normalize talking about it in this community. Back when we weren't able to have this discussion properly, I would have never expected people to ever understand or accept me in this community again. I was told by many of my well-intended friends who've been here longer than me that the only way to move forward was to make peace with the racism that was happening here. (And don't get me wrong, they meant well and they’re a very good friend of mine for that. They didn't have to support me when I was at my lowest, when I was so damaged from it I could hurt them so easily. But they did it anyway because they cared. Some of them may not even share the same worldview as me, but that has never been a barrier for them to reach out and say they support me.) What I'm trying to say is, that the phandom was that bad before: The only way to survive as a poc who's being oppressed by this community in the past was to shut up about our experiences, or leave.

So when I saw your ask, able to articulate a full understanding of the situation of what's going on here, it feels like I had served my purpose. For the past fifteen years of this fandom's existence, we have never been able to talk about this until now. And yet, me and other blogs talking about this have managed to make an impact, enough to make us finally open up about it. A lot of you feel safe enough that you no longer chose to go anon by it now. That is fucking amazing. I hope that it has been healing and educating for all of you, and that we as a community will be able to move forward in the right direction this time :)

As for the subject of subtitle issues, I would admit I don't know a lot about it too much, since I never have to use it. From what others have said in the tags, it seems older videos had proper subtitles, thanks to the free community captioning. But ever since the hiatus, everything has been all over the place and they might not have that proper system to rely on anymore?? I don't know much, so if anyone is interested in expanding more on the subject, or more to where the op of this ask can be coming from, I would love to hear more. We should know what exactly happened so we can bring this to dnp to see where we can improve. (Also, I’m glad that ask opens more discussion about this now. And I didn’t realize it’s disability pride month, yay!)

[ID/ a banner with light blue sparkly background; the disability pride flag slides in from the left and darker blue text pops in reading "Make some noise for Disability Pride Month!!" /end ID]

Banner by dapg-otmebytheballs

Auto-message: This ask’s purpose is to acknowledge dnp’s past/present exclusivity, not to cancel them! But to embrace mistakes that they’ve made so that 1. we won’t exclude people in need in this community, and 2. we can normalize bringing up exclusivity so that improvement can happen. Hopefully this will one day help dnp realize that this is a safe space for them to talk about their mistakes, so that this space can become safe for people of all kinds too <3

*If you don’t understand what is happening, scroll through my blog for context. And I’ll be taking time to answer my asks, so don’t think I’m ignoring youuu*

[reel-fear]

Happy Disability Pride Month! Please don't support SCAVENGER ON THE WIND

CW for body horror, disturbing imagery and paranoia triggers below!

I know a lot of people are probably excited about this MAP

It's one that came out recently and got a lot of views fairly quickly. However, as you can see it features body horror and disturbing imagery in its thumbnail.

This is dangerous and not okay for multiple reasons. For one. Warrior Cats is a series for children, children are not good at handling disturbing imagery nor body horror. It could give them nightmares, stress, or even trauma in the worst cases. See stuff like Smile HD and other shock horror using children's media that is luckily now commonly frowned upon.

That's not to say all horror using children's media is unethical just that it 1. Should come with a prominent warning that it is not for kids and 2. Shouldn't feature shocking content in the thumbnail as anyone who could be triggered or disturbed by that content can't prevent YouTube from showing it to them. This video breaks both rules.

This is the only warning the MAP has. It mentions nothing specific that could actually trigger someone and doesn't even bother to label itself as not something kids should consume. This warning has all the usefulness of opening a game that tells you "This Game Contains Scenes". I'm sure many of you are thinking it could just be a simple and easy-to-fix mistake...

However, the host is not interested in fixing any of this despite people politely pointing out these exact problems. Which I will show soon.

Another important thing is that generally making horror content should always be done with caution. You shouldn't include anything too graphic or disturbing in your thumbnail and oftentimes it's preferred you keep it very tame. Doing otherwise could cause people with particular triggers to have a horrible reaction to them.

Sadly disabled people are already really ignored and stepped over in a lot of horror communities, analogue horror is sadly a very prominent one. People with physical disabilities are often tagged as "Body Horror" with no consideration to how hurtful that label could be to them and sometimes even used as disturbing images to jumpscare you in stuff like games inspired by Mandela Catalogue.

the mentally ill are only treated worse both by fans of horror and by horror content itself. This treatment actively contributes to their discrimination in real life, which is why it's so important to listen to them on topics like this. Sadly it doesn't seem like this host cares for them at all.

This extremely defensive and immature post was made in response to these incredibly polite and kind comments.

These people were:

Super polite

Offered solutions to this problem.

Were just trying to prevent harm coming from people who might find the content in this MAP disturbing.

The replies they received were none of the above. Funky and Erlkremling [A prominent horror WC artist] both dismissed these concerns with Erlkremling being particularly rude to them.

This is dangerous but most of all shows an extreme lack of care or regard to those who suffer from mental disorders.

I myself tried to point this out, only to get even crueler comments from the host and Erlkremling.

This is to put bluntly, fucking cruel to those who suffer from these problems. Why is it that when Cheetah Z has flashing lights that could harm people it's a problem but saying 'don't put disturbing imagery in your THUMBNAILS which nobody can prevent from being shoved into their dash' it's too far to compare them?? This is so blatantly treating mentally ill folks like their issues, their struggles, THEIR SAFETY FOR FUCKS SAKE, is less important than their 'actually disabled' counterparts.

They are literally admitting this is a problem, that other popular horror medias in this fandom suffer this problem. But instead of seeing that and saying "oh my god, I'm contributing to a running problem of ableism in this fandom I should stop." They're saying "Well if those other people ALSO think a png is more important than disabled people's safety surely I'm in the right!"

The absolutely apathy towards the suffering of disabled people has genuinely brought me to tears just thinking of the way they replied to me. THIS IS OVER A PNG, A THUMBNAIL THEY COULD TAKE JUST A FEW HOURS TO REDRAW, that fucking image to them is more important than the safety of disabled folks. Happy fucking disability pride month to you too btw.

To put it bluntly, if you see this situation for the upsetting awful mess it is I would highly suggest not supporting this MAP and letting the participants know what kind of behavior they are associating themselves with.

Here's a link with all the map parts, tell the participants what kind of behavior they are encouraging by taking part in this project.

Here's the og map call, tell the host how unacceptable and cruel this treatment of the mentally ill is.

Sadly unless there is a big backlash, it's very unlikely any of these creators will care about those they have affected. I honestly can't even describe how horrible all the things they have implied in these comments is.

To try and argue some people are just 'too mentally ill' to belong in internet spaces is HORRIBLE, they want people they deem 'too disabled' to simply NOT EXIST in online spaces. This is literally them fully admitting some disabled people simply don't belong in public spaces, don't deserve to be heard in online discussions and are simply not as important as other disabled folks when it comes to making things accessible for them.

I've been genuinely losing sleep over this at times, neurotypical people just have no idea how stressful, how upsetting and how hurtful it can be to know you're considered 'lesser' than other 'actually disabled' folks. To be trampled and spoken over, spoken to like you're NOTHING on these issues. So please from the pleas of a disabled artist in this space.

Please, Please reblog and spread this, on this month above all else we should be focused on stopping this kind of behavior.

Just because it's a consistent issue in this fandom doesn't make it okay to spread it even more. In fact I am inviting anyone reading this, if you see gore, body horror and general disturbing imagery in a thumbnail please inform the uploader of the real damage it can do to the mentally ill. Sadly, I put off posting this for a long time, because I didn't think anyone would listen or care unless I did it this month.

That's just a sad reality for a lot of mentally ill folks, in online spaces we're silenced. We just have to live with that a lot of the time, but I'm not gonna let this slide on a month dedicated to people like me and those who behavior like this hurts. Neither should you.

[elslittlestories]

The Bad Autistic Batch

I've had this in the back of my head for a while and finaly took the time to write it down. It's a mix of observtions and headcanons I guess? On how I feel like the 4 original members of the Bad Batch are all autistic af!

Tech

The obvious one. He said it himself, his brain doesn’t process thoughts and moments the way most people do.

He has a hard time identifying his feelings and therefore tends to push them away and rely on logic and rational thoughts, which always come easy and loud in his mind.

Very gifted, he’s too smart to care about social rules and never bothered to learn cues and small talk. He was created to solve problems, people shouldn’t expect anything else from him. He comes off as cold and obnoxious to most people, always speaks bluntly without thinking of the effect of his words on the person opposite him. Simply because it doesn’t occur naturally to him that some truth might need sugarcoating.

He’s a self-taught everything, with infinite curiosity and thirst for knowledge. He gets bored fast though and will skip from one subject to another as soon as he feels like he’s mastered it. He’ll get REALLY excited if you ask him questions about anything.

He doesn’t care about his looks, as long as it’s practical, he’s good with any outfits. Although, he’ll wear comfy clothes whenever he can. His hair is kept just long enough so that he can slick them back with gel and get them stuck with his goggles’ headband.

To self-sooth, he relies on his sound databank—he can listen to a record on a loop for hours—and mental games such as counting backward from 1 million with only prime numbers. Tapping on his datapad is probably also a sort of stimming.

Outside of his brothers, he has a hard time maintaining a relationship, may they be platonic or not. To start, he doesn’t really understand the concept of different types of relationships. He’s oblivious to most hints of interest and needs someone—Wrecker—to point it out. He’ll panic, be really awkward about it, overshare to hide his fluster…until he figures out what makes you tick and weaponizes it!

Crosshair

In case there were any doubt, he’s a neat freak. He NEEDS his stuff to be in the right place, as much as he needs routine and discipline to control his stress level. Even though his military training has taught him how to deal with the unexpected, he has a hard time dealing with change.

If given the choice, he’d only wear his blacks. The tightness of the fabric is comforting and he doesn’t have to think about assembling an outfit or whatever. He cuts his hair every week, the same exact way, from left to right, then the backside of his head.

He won’t eat new food unless his hunger is life threatening, not because of sensory issues but because his transit is a bigger drama queen than he is!

He’s the most emotionally immature of the squad and used to have the wildest mood swings. He became good at keeping a stern straight face once he realized people would use it as a way to arm him. He’s also the most stubborn: good luck trying to change his mind on anything.

On a general basis, he hates people. Especially the one that wants to touch him! The only person allowed to hug him is Wrecker, because there’s no stopping him anyway. He may go mute when overwhelmed, hence the number of fights he got himself into rather than have a talk. With time and around the right people, he might get better at dealing with his feelings, but for now it’s easier to just avoid people, since they’re the one causing said feelings.

Maintaining any sort of relationship is close to impossible outside of his brothers. It takes a very special person—like Echo—to get his affection and respect. Romantic feeling are out of his bucket list, he finds the concept of flirting ridiculous anyway. If you want to be with him, just say it! He’ll probably reject you, the man has some heavy attachment/abandonment issues to sort out first. Trust Omega to help with that, so maybe one day…

Wrecker

THE emotionally mature one of the squad! Feelings are always intense for him and he wears them on his face. He’ll cry for anything, but since he can break your spine with his bare hands, people usually don’t make fun of him out loud.

He has huge difficulties in learning practical stuff—he was the last to speak clearly and read—and won’t do anything good with verbal instructions if they go longer than 5 to 10 words. He’s good with his hands, though, and once Tech got him into the marvelous world of explosives, he became unstoppable. Even Tech will admit Wrecker is the expert in the matter.

Another thing he was quick to learn, thanks to his emotional awareness and Hunter’s help, was how to read people. If only to stop being played! It might also be the secret to their squad sticking together despite their differences and hot temper.

He’s very open about needing "autistic joy", such as eating his favorite snack, listening to a song on a loop and watching things blow up. It tends to make him look childish. His brothers are very protective over this and make sure nothing prevents Wrecker to enjoying his sweet nothings.

He loves to isolates for an hour or two, to watch his favorite holovids, but is otherwise very touchy feely. Hugs sooth him a lot when he’s stressed out. If he can’t get one, he’ll rely on singing his favorite tune or repeating a word in his head. He used to do it out loud when he was a kid but it drove his brothers mad so he internalized it.

He can handle a flirt, although he has a hard time catching a hint. It’s easier to notice someone’s interest on others than himself, probably because of his lack of self-esteem. He’d most likely be a very clingy partner.

Hunter

AKA the king of masking. He may look as close to normal as a defective clone can be, in control of himself, but take a step into his mind and you’ll be surprised.

First of all, he has HUGE sensory issues, no doubt worsened by his genetic enhancement. He has learned to tough it out and ignore the strong reaction some textures or smell or sounds causes him to experience. But they tend to turn into stress. He’s constantly devoured by anxiety and fear—of anything from touching that one thing that will overstimulate him so much he won’t be able to function, to making a bad call that cause one of his brother’s death—and there’s no amount of spinning his knife that can sooth it.

He relies on rules and discipline to get a sense of control, even though one might argue his sense of both those concepts is not exactly by the book. It tends to help with tuning down his emotions as well. Just like every sensory input is loud to him, his feeling can be deafening and mastering them was mandatory to become the squad leader.

It was with that in mind that he became an expert in social behaviors. Mostly unconsciously, he studied everyone around him to learn how to hold himself and how to read the room. Despite him being naturally introverted, you’ll often find him chatting with the various captains his squad was assigned to work with. Told you, he’s a king of masking.

On the rare occasions he failed to contain his emotions—bursts of anger on the battlefield aside—it came out loud and violent. Took Wrecker to squeeze him in his arms for Hunter to calm down.

One thing he couldn’t learn this way is flirting. He can’t do it for his life, despite being the receiver of numerous attempts from various species. Maybe it’s because of his sensory issues, but the idea of sex is of no appeal to him and he has never felt something strong enough to be called romantic love. That stuff is just not for him, he feels contempt with his brothers and Omega.

Oh, and the bandana is just an excuse for no easy hair routine. Give him one reason to get out of his armor and blacks, and he’ll slip into floppy clothes in a heartbeat.

Last but not least, all four of them have a STRONG sens of justice—although sometime missplaced—and prefers staying home rather than being anywhere else, wherever home may be.

[rykersreign]

Me and my reasons on why Sonic from Sonic Prime is not too out of character for him!!

I feel like I should start by saying absolutely no hate to people who don't like Prime Sonic. I 100% understand why someone might not like him as a character and I do lightly touch on that!

Also I would appreciate it if when you state your opinion on the matter you do it in a civil way so we can all have a normal conversation on it. I will delete comments that seem too attack based or are just hating on this subject.

Aside from that feel free to tell me how you feel about the matter!!

I feel like Sonic's character in prime is not necessarily the worst or out of character for him. I actually really like this version of sonic due to his character flaws! I find it to be a fun and different way of writing him in his earlier stages of character development.

First we should approach the negatives before we approach the positives; Sonic is very immature compared to his previous iterations. He is impulsive, not the best at truly working in a team, and can be annoying at times.

These characteristics get in the way of his ability to problem solve and act in a way other iterations do but these aren't too far off from other versions of Sonic.

This can 100% make him an unappealing and sometimes frustrating character. I know I've watched some scenes in the show and hated his responses to some situations.

Although Sonic does have some positives! He's still loyal to his friends, tries his best to listen past his impulsive nature, and is overall still as loving as ever.

There are plenty of Sonic timelines where he is the one that messed up. Was it this bad? Not always but it's not rare for him.

Idw sonic for example allowed Metal Sonic to live his life the way he wanted which immediately backfired, same with the Mr Tinker situation.

Sonic has a consistent characteristic in which he trusts too much and wants others to have the chance to change. Any mistake he makes is due to him trying to help others.

While Sonic from Prime's situation is much different he still was trying to help others. Prime wasn't just a simple mistake Prime was a big mistake but that's not weird for his character.

Sonic from prime still puts effort into helping so many people but at times that could be a flaw. This want to help others often backfires as he doesn't fully trust his friends to be safe and handle the situation which can make him seem overbearing; This is consistent with him tho. He has always been the self sacrificing type Sonic frontiers is a good example of that.

Throughout all of Sonic frontiers he is hurting himself to help others.

Most sonic iterations want to help others so desperately they don't think about the consequences whether that causes hurt to themselves or others.

Although many iterations of Sonic trusts their friends abilities and skills they can all still be scared for what can happen.

Sonic from Prime makes mistakes that are undeniable, I mean he destroyed the entire universe but he's still got those positive traits that can sometimes even out the negative.

I feel like judging his character at this current point of the show is very harsh given how much as a character he is potentially set up to change.

At this point in the show it really depends on if the writers want him to approach those issues or not.

[malaierba]

It's really remarkable how Natsuo's attitude is born from such a clumsy attempt at being mature, in a situation where it isn't even clear how much she's at fault.

Don't get me wrong, she did what she did, both with Sanae and her brother but she was like. What, 10? She probably knew she was behaving badly with Sanae, that's why she carried that guilt onto high school, but I also think... She was compelled, in a way. She tried to read those around her, find the problem, provide a solution that ended up being quite clumsy.

It's made very obvious in her backstory with Sanae that Natsuo's NEVER been good at socialising. She isn't a natural when it comes to reading the room, minding people's feelings, politeness. And it's so interesting how her brother resents her for it, but Sanae? Sanae from the FLOOR kept a cool head and tried to get her to explain herself. And Natsuo didn't. Natsuo realised she was the bad guy, and committed to the act.

It's the whole bad guy act. She took her casual hurtfulness, her mindless bluntness, and put it alongside how her actions caused the fallouts with her brother and Sanae, and was like. Ah, so this is who I am.

Obviously the theme in Teppuu is self-loathing but I look at all of the above and wonder, was it all also a clumsy attempt at being mature? At being a grown-up? Endlessly childish to think "I must own up my actions, so since these were the actions of a mfer, I will own up to them by being exactly that, and I'll act like idc about what happened bcs someone who did wouldn't have acted as I did in the first place".

Just. Contrived copium lol. Trying to regain a sense of control by doubling down on what she did, and acting like she also doesn't care who she's hurt, even thoughhhh the whole story started because she DOES she did care and she still cared when the manga ends. Trying to take responsibility by being super immature about it and refusing to open the can of worms.

Sanae foils her so well. She IS the most mature character in Natsuo's age range. She engages her directly, calls her out on her attitude, doesn't back down since they both know she's right, doesn't flinch when faced with Natsuo's taunts. And still, she has that little bit of teenage immaturity. That whole, I'll show you that doing things properly (unlike you) gets you farther (and maybe then you'll learn this lesson)

Which doesn't happen through her ofc. And it hurts her, but she also seems to reach a point after the fight that's like. Yeah, she still pisses me off. Still mad the cookie crumbled like this. But I can move on, I can let this unresolved business ordeal go.

Sanae moves on, yet Natsuo remains stuck. The parallel in what it takes to mature, the fact that they both develop as characters through a loss. You just can't have it your way all the time, you win some you lose some, sometimes it's unfair but such is life. Doesn't mean that examining WHY things are unfair is pointless. That's what Sanae seems to do that Natsuo doesn't. Sanae realises, even if I had won Natsuo wouldn't have learned what she has to learn. Her issue is with me but also not really (it's not even with her brother, it's with herself and how she relates to herself and others, it's with her unpacked repressed trauma). Fighting may prove a point but it won't solve the issue.

Just. Damn. You think it's just beef between two ex-childhood friends but it goes hard in a way that only stories about being messed up in ur teens does lol

[cloud-somersault]

It's cause Red Son doesn't act like he's over a thousand years old. He acts more like he's MK and Mei's age. Especially with how he acts around his parents, he doesn't act like he had any independence in his life.

So it's easy to see him as young, since he doesn't act like he's older.

I understand that this is meant to offer an explanation, but I think it highlights an issue that some people in the fandom have of not understanding that immortality doesn't equal maturity.

Like, Wukong still acts immaturely and is over 3,000 years old.

I understand red son doesn't act like an old and wise demon, and we have to take into account that he was neglected as a child and didn't get the attention and love from his parents he wanted. He craves attention, he wants acceptance. He wants to meet their high expectations. We can have all that while also respecting that Red Son has been around a while and knows some shit. He's seen some shit, too. He's been through some shit.

At least, I think so. Red Son's backstory is a big mystery, and I don't know how they handled it specifically in LMK, because there's some important details that are missing, but anyway.

I get that this is explaining how people see him and why they see him that way, but I also am trying to show that demons mature differently and assuming someone's age based on how they act is gonna cause problems because people mature differently and at different rates. I've met some wise af 25 year olds and some really immature 50 year olds.

So then we go back to "he's young demon wise" but again, if we look at the other demons, we see that maturity and sense spikes up and down with them. Like the most capable people in MK's crew are the mortals LMAO

And actually, I think Red Son does show a lot of maturity in certain ways. He knew to work together with MK was the only way to stop the spider queen. He put aside his hatred to do that. He helped Mei get out of those webs. He gave Mei, MK, and Sandy a place to stay when they showed up uninvited. He didn't like cut them off when they stole from him because he hangs out with him at the beach later like?

I guess what I'm saying is: there's a way to incorporate and consider a character's age and their maturity level while making them multifaceted and realistic. With a measure of respect. So, we can roll with Red Son being an ancient demon, and show that in a variety of ways while keeping his personality and current maturity levels in tact, is all. And, tbh, I feel like the monkie kid crew did this well with Red Son helping them get to the celestial realm. That's a good way to balance that immortality and maturity and characterize him

[redwinediary]

entry 1: emotions

this is my first entry!! yay :D

what you should know about me is that I'm a very very emotional person. i don't know how and who to blame for that but i am; i cry doing anything and that's just how it is. someone yelling at me? crying. someone showing that they care about me? crying. it's something that i don't like since i would like to show other basic human emotion that isn't crying. a part of me wants to blame astrology since my moon, sun and rising is all three water signs but blaming my emotions on stars is fucked. my upbringing isn't any better and not to play into the stereotype of oversharing online but my family is fucked up to say the least.

if you've watched inside out, sadness and anxiety for sure ar the bosses in my mind (i have not watched the second movie so i do not know what it is about). in relationships, it's even worse but that's another topic for another day since that in itself is going to be a L O N G post, but recently i kind of got my heart broken by a man who i gave a chance to, i can't get into that now either cause it's fresh in my mind. fresh meaning it's been 2 weeks and I'm dumb and can't move on. you really do know a heartbreak is bad when I've spent my hard-earned money on self-help books to help me regulate my emotions.

i do get attached to the men, even in the talking stage since i have attachment issues. it is bad for me, i am more than self-aware and i am trying my best to work on it. again, that's another story for another day.

emotionally i feel so mature and also immature if that makes sense? in comparison to other people i know how to regulate and communicate my emotions but in hindsight, i have tendencies of shutting down completely and masking my emotions to protect the other person. in other words, I'm aware.

i feel like it just strained from just bottling everything up since i just don't want to burden or hinder people with my problems since I've been called "a lot" for emoting and letting my feelings known. so personally it's just better for me to stop telling everyone to make everyone else happy and content. i know it's bad and i should not. self-awareness is key, but doing something to change your habits is even better.

anyways, that's it for now <3

bella xx

[sinofwriting]

honestly, kind of a crime because pda was soooo good like i downloaded it and im not ashamed to say that. like they were so cute and i just love them and the fact that they're so affectionate towards one another even after 2 years. which is something i really like in your writing is that all of your couple (at least the ones i'm thinking of) are just so love-y towards each other and they're in love and they support one another and just i love them.

i love max being a menace, it definitely shows especially in like private professor where he just handed them invitations at the perfect time to stop the questions which was so slay of him. needed to see some more of the drivers reactions but i was just so happy with the fic. also the max fic with the princess impersonator ((?) i think that's what they're called but maybe not cause like they're not real people but i can't think of what they're called rn) was so good. i really appreciated the fact that he still was there for p even though he wasn't with kelly anymore. him falling in love at first sight(basically) was so cute and i love that!!!

i could definitely see charles being a touchy person, like one of his love languages being physical touch just makes sense. i think he'd be like more comfortable being touchy near people he feels comfortable with like his friends and family especially. but he's not afraid to show his love ya know? im really excited for the charles w ferrari reader too. (tbh im just really excited to read more of your writing)

i mean most of max's braincells are focused on driving so that one braincell is all he has left (i know he's smart) but he's also just babygorl /j. at least he's got great tits to make up for it /hj. oof, i'm nervous about the angst bc i just want him to live his best life and yeah but i am ready for it (i think)

i would love a nickname!<3

TLDR: i ramble, use the word like too much, love your fics, am happy to be here, am excited for what's next, would love a nickname.

I’m a whore for established relationship fics hence why I write so many of them. And pda is like my baby, either and or the written fic or the smau companion piece to it. And I try my best to write relationships as supportive/good (i won’t use the word healthy because healthy is different for every relationship). The affection between them was my favorite thing to write. PDA is regarded as fairly gross or immature, if it goes beyond holding hands or a quick peck on the lips and I’m just like… why? I too am like Logan in PDA, if I want to kiss or cuddle my (hypothetical) partner I’m going to do it, I don’t care if I’m in public. Also you downloaded it??? Brb need to cry. That is so sweet.

Max being a menace is canon in all my fics, I don’t think I’ve written a single fic that either is for Max or has Max in it where he isn’t somewhat a menace. In Made For Each Other, we have Max causing issues with PR. In Private Professor, we once again have a bit of PR and then also him just handing out invitations and the universe rewarding his chaos with the FIA official coming in before anyone can ask any questions. And then in Causing Problems we have Max being a menace but moreso in the assholeish sense and doing what the title suggests, Causing Problems. (also that fic, I don't know what my brain was cooking when it came up with that idea, but damn. I’m messy)

I know what fic you're talking about with Max and princess impersonator! (I literally just reread it last night), that isn’t one of my fics but is a fic that I think I reread about once a week. Honestly though everything by @dilemmaontwolegs is god tier and I can't rec them enough. 

Also, Max strikes me as the kind of guy that no one expects to believe in love at first sight (he doesn’t) or for it to happen, but in fic verses, I can see it happening to him. I can see him hearing his friends talk about it and him rolling his eyes, scoffing, telling them not to think with their dicks too hard, but then it happens to him (like in Made For Each Other) and he gives no fucks, that is the love of his life and love at first sight is real thank you very much. 

The angst won’t be that bad for the Max fic! I promise! It will be fairly brief (I believe) and will mainly be due to him and his one brain cell that isn’t dedicated to all things racing.

The Ferrari!reader fic, oh Figlia Mia (the name of the fic), it’s going to something. I’m actually going to be posting it in a few hours and I’m hoping people will like it considering some decisions I made. 

If you ever want a different nickname let me know! But I shall declare you as ramble cell. Thank you so much for your lovely asks!

[loveyourlovelysoul]

one a problem may give you frustration or anger cause you can't solve it or have no control over it (and that's okay, we cannot control everything: that's not our duty, even if we were probably "taught" so in our childhood; and it's also okay to feel angry or frustrated too). but what many do to "free themselves" from the excess of energy accumulated (basically to cope with it cause they are emotionally immature and weren't given the keys to control/welcome their emotions -especially negative ones as they were taught these aren't right- and work on their triggers) is to throw frustration and anger over any other small annoyance or "wrongness" they come around (people included).

what I want to say is, especially when there are anger issues or unresolved problems: it's often very likely that people are not reacting to the real trigger, but to a similar one which they feel "okay/safer" to throw themselves at. basically: the addition of this unpredictable/sudden annoyance's energy (that seems even bigger than what it is) to the already triggered and stressed mind/body's energy imbalance, feels unbearable and uncontrollable: they basically cannot block the energy's excess anymore and since they haven't processed the original problem correctly, they react to the "wrong"/smaller negative thing by making it bigger and also bringing it different consequences especially if there are other people involved (e.g. child growing up with parents having anger issues: parents may feel more "at ease" overreacting to anything their kid does also cause they are in an "higher position" compared to their child. I mean, they cannot overreact with their boss, for example. -beware: not saying it's right, AT ALL. cause it's not. plus, children do not have the emotional knowledge to understand their parents' problem/overreaction is unrelated with them... not even most adults have it, how may they. how may had you. forgive yourself, please: try to stop carrying around all this anger and pain, it's not gonna help you in any way).

[monthofsick]

Thanks, I hate it

Nov(emeto)ber 2022, Day 7: Enemy to Caretaker

OCs: Tiago, Hunter

This is my first time writing an actual asshole caretaker who doubles as a very biased narrator. I feel a tad guilty for picking Tiago again, but it all came together so naturally. Even though this is written from a very subjective point of view, I also simply love to make seemingly perfect people sick.

TW: Vomit, mild scat/both ends, mean caretaker

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hunter Calaway was perfect.

He had the face of an ancient demigod – big, expressive eyes, sensual lips and cheekbones you could cut paper with. His curls were naturally defined, he was tall and athletic (kind of a given, considering he was the college’s basketball MVP) and he had flawless caramel skin. He also had heterochromia, because of course he had. A real life Gary Stu like him needed his special eyes. It was like people from all around the globe had come together to create an ultimate winner in the genetic lottery.

Tiago hated him with a passion.

Maybe he was a tiny bit biased because of the whole Diamond issue. Diamond was the campus goddess, head cheerleader and pride of the debate club. Tiago had a crush on her since junior high, but who did she end up with? The Great Hunter himself. Because he was such a kind‑hearted gentleman who loved to spend his free time doing voluntary work.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, both Hunter and Tiago had been assigned to represent the basketball team at New Student’s Day. They had to conceptualize a banner, create a flyer and come up with fun activities to attract new talents. Tiago had felt honored to be picked for the job… until he realized that a) he had to work together with his personal nemesis and b) they had only been chosen because no one else had volunteered for the task. Now he had to invest his free time while constantly fighting the urge to display his aversion.

Today was especially frustrating. They hadn’t agreed on how to translate the team’s logo into a banner yet. Tiago wanted to focus on the colors for a more clean and modern look, Hunter wanted their Rottweiler mascot front and center. It didn’t help that Mr. Perfect wasn’t his usual upbeat and diplomatic self this afternoon.

„See, they’re basically kids“, he explained in a disgustingly patient tone. „We need something to stand out from the crowd and catch their eyes.“

„Okay, but we don’t want them to think they took the wrong turn to elementary school.“

„But everyone loves our Rottie! Go, Rotties, go!“ Hunter’s face lit up for a moment. „Wait, I just had the best idea ever. You know that I help out in an animal shelter? We could bring an actual Rottweiler, they have a total sweetheart right now. It would be an audience magnet and bring awareness to adopting pets.“

„Everyone and their grandma knows that you volunteer for any good cause known to mankind.“ Tiago exhaled audibly. „That’s because you’re bringing it up like every ten seconds.“

„That is so not true.“ The smile on Hunter’s lips faded as quickly as it had appeared. „Can we just stick to the topic, please? I made a suggestion, you can give your opinion on it. This is not about me.“

„Isn’t it always about you?“, Tiago growled. He knew perfectly well that it was immature and irrelevant, but this entire conversation was oh so typical. Of course, Hunter never had bad intentions. How dare he accuse him of such profanity?

„Look, I know you have a problem with me. I don’t know why because I don’t have a problem with you, but can we still try to make this work?“

„Stop being such a fucking saint.“ Tiago rolled his eyes. „You know what? Just bring the dog. If it tears out some kid’s throat, at least we get all the attention. Can we go back to the actual issue now and sketch a draft of the design each of us has in mind? Because that might actually help with the decision.“

„Fine. At least it means we don’t have to talk for a while.“ That was probably the most hostile thing Hunter had ever said. Tiago was genuinely surprised. Maybe he had hurt Mr. Perfect’s feelings by insinuating that he could be anything but altruistic.

Without wasting further thoughts, Tiago grabbed some pens from the art supplies they had been given. He focused on bringing his vision alive – something not even Hunter could top. Every once in a while, he heard a low rumble, but didn’t pay much attention to it. Only when it grew louder he realized that the source of the noise was his unwanted teammate. Tiago couldn’t hide a broad grin.

„Wait, are you so on edge today because you are hangry?“

„No, I’m not.“ Upon closer inspection, Hunter’s unfamiliar grumpiness wasn’t the only thing that seemed off about him. His complexion was oddly dull and there was a frown line between his eyebrows. Plus he had barely started with his drawing. „Can we just… not talk about this right now?“

„About what? Your bowel sounds?“ Tiago chuckled. „Yeah, I bet that wouldn’t make the girls as wet as you normally do.“

„I don’t care, I’m taken.“ Hunter placed a hand on his abdomen as if that would help to reduce the noise pollution.

„Oh, guess what, I noticed.“ If Tiago hadn’t known better, he could have sworn that Hunter had said that on purpose, just to rub a little more salt into the open wound. „But hey, with that impressive growls, you could do a pretty decent Rottweiler impersonation yourself.“

„That’s not even funny.“ Hunter turned his head, but Tiago still saw his throat bobbing rapidly. Then there was the sickly skin tone and tiny drops of sweat forming on Hunter’s forehead. His stomach rumbles now resembled rolling thunder and Hunter’s hand on his belly skipped like the muscles below were convulsing spasmodically.

Suddenly, Tiago had a terrible suspicion.

„Don’t tell me you’re about to puke.“

„Why did you have to – huuuarrck – say that?“ Something between a very sickly burp and a jerky retch escaped Hunter’s mouth. He immediately pressed it shut again, swallowing audibly several times.

„I swear to God, if you barf on our documents, I shove the stuff right back down your throat.“

„Can you please shut up about it?“ Hunter’s lips curled into a nauseated frown while his broad shoulders abruptly hitched with a hiccup. „I… I think something was off with the chicken breast I had this morning.“

„Who eats chicken breast for breakfast?“ Tiago let out an irritated sigh. „Wait, why are you staring at me like this? You’re a grown ass man, can’t you just go to the fucking toilet all by yourself?“

„See, I know you can’t stand me, but… I really don’t feel good right now and I don’t think I would make it.“

Under any other circumstances, Tiago would have probably enjoyed the miserable expression on Hunter’s face. Desperately trying to keep his stomach contents down wasn’t a good look on him. Too bad the idiot had decided to project some kind of imaginary duty of care on Tiago.

„And how exactly is that my problem?“ Tiago became increasingly annoyed by the entire situation. „Do you want me to carry you to the restroom bridal style or what?“

„You could at least lend me a hand!“

„This is a joke, right?“ The almost pleading expression in Hunter’s sad puppy dog eyes was enough of an answer. Tiago huffed, but he eventually decided that helping his teammate up was the lesser evil compared to him hurling all over the table. Begrudgingly, he put his arm around Hunter’s upper body and pulled a disgusted face as the guy leaned on him while they walked. „You better hold it in until we get there.“

„Mhm.“ It wasn’t exactly reassuring that Hunter didn’t even dare to open his mouth for an answer. His body spoke a pretty clear language anyways. Tiago felt Hunter’s shirt sticking to his sweaty back, which was nasty enough. Being way too close to Hunter for Tiago’s own comfort, he noticed every contraction of his muscles, every subdued retch and cramp. Hunter’s stomach sounded like water that was about to boil over – no wonder he was still clutching it tightly. His trained body heaved with a sloppy burp. „Oh God… that tasted like chicken.“

„Pretty sure everything tastes like chicken“, Tiago grinned. Hunter didn’t seem to share his sense of humor, because the very next second, his hand flew up to his lips and his cheeks bulged out. Tiago instantly withdrew his arm and scrambled backwards. “Swallow it down! Or puke on the floor and clean up later, I don’t even care as long as you don’t get it on me.“

Hunter frantically shook his head, then turned around and dashed towards the next trashcan. He hit the ground, hugged the bin like a lifeline and spewed a majestic cascade of milky vomit into the container. Hunter’s assumption had probably been correct – the white flood he barfed up so generously definitely contained chunks of white meat.

„Woah, that smells horrendous!“ Tiago imitated a productive retch, only to be answered with the exact same sound bubbling out of Hunter’s throat, followed by a surge of liquid hitting the plastic trashbag. If only Diamond could see her adored boyfriend like that. She probably wouldn’t feel like kissing him after watching lumpy chicken hash gushing from his mouth.

„G-guess how it tastes“, Hunter coughed, then lurched towards the trashcan again, curdled gruel bursting from his lips. Tiago rolled his eyes and turned away. Why, of all people, was he cursed to be surrounded by morons with pathetically weak stomachs? He wasn’t even a caring person. Was it really too much to ask for to enjoy his life without random jackasses losing their lunch left and right? It was bad enough when it happened to his lightweight friends, but infinitely worse when it was Hunter who was puking up his guts right in front of him. And ew, the stench!

„I suppose you don’t need a trip to the bathroom anymore?“ Tiago turned to leave. „Because I’m really not keen on watching you blowing chunks any longer.“

„Still… need to go“, Hunter croaked, then arched his back as a garbled retch forced a rather pathetic drizzle of sick out of him. He wiped his luscious lips and stumbled back on his feet. Tiago raised both hands in defense as the aesthetically pleasing puke machine tried to approach him again.

„Stay away from me, you fucking reek.“ Tiago scrunched his nose. „If it’s absolutely necessary, I’ll catch you if you fall. But there’s no way you’re gonna get your barf slime hand on me right now.“

„Do you have to be such an asshole about it?“, Hunter moaned. „I didn’t ask for this, you know?“

„Neither did I“, Tiago replied unmoved. Hunter pouted and wrapped both arms around his belly. His hunched over gait gave an insight into the turmoil troubling his intestines. The greenish hue on his face made him look almost comically sick. Had he really expected Tiago to affectionally rub his muscular back and whisper soothing words into his ear? Was it so hard to understand that Tiago didn’t want to be anywhere near the guy when he still looked like the rest of his spoiled breakfast would erupt from his mouth any second?

Miraculously, Hunter made it to the restroom without spilling his insides again. He shambled into one of the stalls, door closing behind him.

„Okay, I paid my due, now I’m out.“ Tiago’s daily requirement of revolting sounds and odors was easily covered. „Enjoy yourself!“

„W-wait!“ Hunter’s raspy voice sounded begging. „I… I need a bucket, like, ASAP.“

„Are you fucking serious?“ Tiago stopped in the doorway. „You’re in front of a toilet, what the hell do you need a bucket for?“

„I’m sitting on the toilet!“, Hunter groaned. „Dude, I’m dead serious, I can feel it coming up - huuuarrrg.“

„Don’t tell me you’re doing a number two as well.“ Torn between repulsion and a nagging sense of obligation, Tiago rushed towards the sinks. The trash bin was mounted at the wall, so he just removed the bag inside. Tiago returned hastily and squinted as he opened the bathroom stall door. For the sake of his own sanity, he tried hard not to take in the cursed image of Hunter sitting on the porcelaine throne with his pants down, cheeks puffed behind the fingers sealing his lips. „Take this, it’s all you’re gonna get.“

Hunter frantically opened up the trash bag, then writhed as he brought up watery chicken fricassee. It didn’t help that the plastic was translucent, granting Tiago a great view of the vomit fountain shooting out of Hunter’s mouth, drowning the crumpled paper towels at the bottom. The spasmodic pulses of Hunter‘s stomach muscles were enough to set the purging process in full motion. Hunter curled up while his body forcefully emptied itself from both ends.

„Oh my God, that is disgusting“, Tiago pressed out with a muffled gag. He sure had an iron stomach, but the unbearable stench and the sopping wet gargles were getting to him. Just as he was about to leave, a diabolical idea crossed his mind. Innocent enough, he glanced back over his shoulder. „Do you want me to call Diamond? I’m sure she would give you some tender loving care.“

Hunter looked up, gooey sick dripping from his lips. He nodded feebly.

„You… would actually do that for me? That… that would be great… thanks.“

Thanks? The guy was so naive. Did Hunter really think a classy woman like Diamond would lust after him ever again once she saw him in such a pathetic state, spraying stinking slurry from his back and front?

„Sure thing. Don’t worry about it, just get it all out!“

„Thank you, really… I appreciate it“, Hunter groaned unsuspectingly before he was struck by another retch.

Tiago strove to keep his composure while he finally left the fetid cesspool that had been a college restroom not so long ago. Just like he had promised, he immediately called Diamond and informed her about her lover’s predicament. He really hammed it up and emphazised how desperately sick Hunter was and how urgently he needed the solace of her presence. After Tiago hung up, he strolled down the hallway in a much brighter mood. Diamond was in for a major disenchantment when it came to her gorgeous, sexy and charming boyfriend.

Unless she wouldn’t mind.

Unless she would actually take care of him. Hug him tight, rub his cramping belly, hold the bag for him while he threw up. Pat his back, wipe his mouth, kiss his sweaty forehead and reassure him that he would be alright. Guide him home once he had emptied himself and snuggle up on the couch to make him feel safe and loved. But that wasn’t very likely, was it?

Tiago brushed the thought aside and spent the rest of the day distracting himself from these dreadful mental images. At least now he knew for sure that Hunter Calaway was anything but perfect.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Archive of our own: Up all night to get Bucky

tumblr: birdnamedenza

[alyjojo]

Thinking of You - February 🫦 2024 - Capricorn

Whole of their energy towards Capricorn: The Tower

I’m getting this is someone that may have a people pleasing energy, normally, but either has or will eventually explode with all of the things they keep inside and don’t talk about. This could come as a shock to you - The Tower, you could feel they’re immature or at least how they’ve expressed themselves is. They could also be very emotional. This is regarding either someone that’s indulgent, could be them and they’re being bratty, or you and they’re emotional about it, there’s a selfish vibe being shown as the problem causing a Tower, and them acting a certain way is more like a distraction from the actual problem than the problem - if that makes sense. Yes they’re emotional, but why? Or you. Knight of Cups at the bottom, either they love you, or this is centered around romantic actions being taken…3 Swords in the first row. I assume they’re hurt, because they need to heal.

Feelings: 4 Swords

Done, they’re exhausted, need a break, probably aren’t speaking to you at all. You’re on their mind, but they’d rather you not be. I’m not sure what’s occurred exactly, one of you has messed around with the other one’s feelings and there is no desire to discuss these things for the time being. Or there hasn’t been. King of Swords later could show them wanting to talk. There’s definitely been a break period, or a break up. It’s possible someone works too much (9/10 probably you) and doesn’t speak to the other person for the entire day, every day. Work could be the third party showing up, they’ve waited on you to do something and you aren’t. “Step up” is what’s being said here. This could be regarding your work too, if you’re looking to move up, someone may see you as immature or kind of a goof off, they aren’t sure you have what it takes to handle so much responsibility. They’ve got too much on their plate, no matter who this is. For some it’s you and it’s switched, they hurt you and know it.

Intentions: 10 Wands

I don’t think they intend to give up, there could be a conversation coming up though. Knight of Cups at the bottom, The Hierophant and 10 Cups showing up in this row, whichever sort of relationship this is for you, it’s one of care, love, and respect. They want to be happy with you. “Doing the right thing” may be a burden for them, or they/you have some sort of strict belief system, religion, or mindset of “things need to be this way” which they feel is too much for them. Pressure maybe. Or switch. On some level, a belief system or way of behaving, strict guidelines of some kind, hurts them. If you’re married, it could be their own belief system that keeps them with you, if they stay. Or they feel that way about you. If this is regarding a job, it’s a good job, one that’s hurting them/you, there’s way too much pressure on someone’s shoulders and they can barely manage to keep going, but they are because to them this is 10 Cups. Or it will be. Or it’s worth it. Or that’s how they see it anyway. They could feel like you’ve pressured or hurt a family/work group dynamic and they’re wary of you or what comes next with you.

Again Knight of Cups & The Lovers. This may be a complicated work affair, romance has happened, or someone has feelings, and you still have to see them every day. This can be two friends/coworkers that are into the same person, one is burdened by the other taking romantic action. They could secretly desire you and someone else got to you first, not caring about “the rules” is not for them, they very much do and it’s a huge burden on them to be so…by the book. Morally led, conscious of consequences, etc. Could be your boss?

Actions: King of Swords

Immediately clarified by no communication, no action, they then are embodying this King. Trying to gain perspective on an issue, trying to find the logical answers they need to the questions they have. Or they already know and it’s very black/white practical to them. ABC happens - then DEF is the natural conclusion, and they’re leaving. Leaving forever, leaving for a week, taking a time out or a break from this in order to get up in their head and think things over. Either way I don’t see any reconciliation this month, they aren’t yet sure if what they want to, or how, and won’t take any action until they are sure. With messages, the attitude from this person is palpable. Could be what’s seen as immature. Ace of Wands at the bottom, I don’t see an *unhealthy* anger, but are they mad at you maybe. Are they attracted to you, also maybe. Being King of Swords, they’re shut off to those emotions even if they exist.

Messages:

Their side:

- This was only temporary for me.

- GET REAL 💯

Your side:

- What other people say matters too much to me.

- Questionable past/morals

Possible signs:

Heavy Pisces, Libra & Sagittarius

If you’re dealing with:

Justice rev with the cards underneath show a lack of balance in your connections across the board. Some may be unfair to you. Some feel you’ve been unfair to them. Most you don’t know how to continue or deepen a relationship or connection with some - or should you just end it? Can problems even be overcome, is there space to move forward, there’s definitely a lack of resolution, balance or decision making here.

Aries - feels you got what you deserved, or switch that, the truth has come to light, it sounds negative but feels positive ☀️

Taurus - tired of doing the same old shit, routine, day in and day out, either due to you, them, or needing to reign in the spending and chill awhile

Gemini - dodged a bullet and still got karma, a cycle of instability, fkboy/girl behavior, unreliability, is coming to a close, or needs to before you’ll even bat an eye at them/switch

Cancer - biting your head off, or has recently, they’re angry & vengeful or jaded by you/something you’ve done, could be this person

Leo - if they’re pregnant, they’re just waiting for baby, some could be trying to get pregnant, and others are expecting growth with something they’ve worked really hard on

Virgo - if you’re dating them, you’re not the only one, otherwise they act like a friend but definitely don’t tell you everything, there’s something addictive or obsessive with that - they could want more than friends 💋

Libra - willing to work on the relationship, but they’re defensive over something that’s hurt them, could feel betrayed by you or switch it, some may find an amazing job after the last one royally fkd them over

Scorpio - something is taking off for them, could be traveling, a promotion, a new car, something has them feeling on top of the world

Sagittarius - rushing into commitment, which could make you wary, but they’re being honest about what they want

Capricorn - has to give up on something or someone for their own peace of mind - it’s just too much, could be someone in their family

Aquarius - one of you has expected some sort of news or communication from the other that hasn’t come & it’s disappointing

Pisces - has gone through some very painful/toxic cycles that were part of their life path, or you have, both of you fear the past making a comeback regarding these old wounds