#i CANT. i CANNOT. i want to but i CANNOT.

[pettydollie]

rapper!chris x singer!reader hcs

a/n: lowkey a collab with @bambi-slxt bc of all the headcanons she sent me LMAOO thank u sweets!! <3

SFW

chri$ is definitely one of the more "soft" rappers. everyone knows that hes a lovesick puppy for you. he doesnt have ONE line including the words "my bitch". instead he replaces them with "my girl" OR "my wife" :((

i think he would 100% make an album fully dedicated to you. kinda like tyler the creator's "call me if you get lost" in a way. for example, in the song "HEAVEN TO ME", tyler explains his dreams. chris would rap about all of the things he wants to do with you and how he sees you in his life forever

he has many features on peace on the beach with my peach since its partially about your guys' sweet relationship! theres moments in the record where there are beautiful beats paired with your heavenly vocals and cute voice cracks while chri$ is dropping barssss (ill make a post ab lyrics i think he'd add)

sososososo supportive of your creative journey. he was with you as you wrote and planned out your extremely personal debut. he even helped out at the studio :c

but then you started adventuring some time after your 2nd-3rd album. you started experimenting with different genres/styles. you created storylines and visuals along with your music.

out of the two of you, chri$ is definitely more famous. anyhow, he got invited to the met gala and had u has his plus one obviously, where you both looked drop dead gorgeous!! i literally cannot see him wearing a basic ass suit and tie to the met. he has to be on your level and match your uniqueness which make you two stand out so much!

when you both got up the steps, he was being interviewed by emma chamberlin, who was also a fan of his. she asked about the creative process of his newly released album and he totallyy put you in the spotlight, saying "yn helped me a lott honestly. she's... literally a genius." he grins, turning to you while keeping his hand on your waist.

you guys like toying with the paparazzi when they're bothering you. you goofballs make silly faces right in the cameras so they back off

one time when you were being interviewed, your sweet boy wrapped his arms around your waist as he listened to you talk. you were a little nervous and stuttered a bit, but chris consoled you by rubbing small circles into your waist and whispering a gentle "it's okay baby" to your ear.

you fangirl on stage when you catch your boyfriend's eyes in the front row. sometimes you entirely stop what you're singing just to giggle and squeal "hiiii honey!!" while twirling your hair like a little girl. the audience cheers with screams when they realize chris is with them in the crowd-- but feels like its only you two in the stadium when he blows you a kiss (some corny shit he never thought he'd do) and mouth the words "i love you".

for the holidays, u two visit homeless shelters and childrens hospitals and perform for everybody <3

imagine just hanging out at the studio with him and your guys' friends. he's manspreading on a leather couch while massaging your feet resting in his lap as you write lyrics in your lap, your friends helping you out as you do.

you knew that somewhere down the line there was going to be some kind of beef. a popular rapper decided to call out chris for something he did years ago as a literal child. you both ignore it until he sends out a tweet about you. something around, "nd his bitch bad asf id hit fs but she a fuckin weirdass childish mf"

you ignore the fact he called u a "weirdass childish mf", you cant care less, many people dont vibe with ur ideas and thats okay!

u do however care about how his girlfriend would react to seeing him wanting to fuck you. and you'd met her before too, she was a little snobbish, but respectful nonetheless. you joked to your boyfriend about dropping your own diss track on him, but he actually seem intrigued. you shut it down almost immediately though, you didn't wanna make something small such a big deal

but at the next big event you guys went to, you found the rapper's girlfriend and showed her his tweet. she thanked you with a furious scowl on her face before she ran off and slapped the shit out of him in front of everybody

chris gets a custom made $500k chain that has ur name and little details that remind him of u around it :((

NSFW

speaking of that chain, he wears it whenever he pounds into you so you'll be reminded of how he's yours.

chris loves ur vocals so much on stage! he finds them beautiful, but he loves them even more in bed.

"cmon mama lemme hear that pretty voice"

in fact, you two created a song just to have playing in the background while you two get intimate

chris audio recorded him eating u out once and you saying, "oh, fuck chris, it's so good!" and he decided to use that as an adlib in his favorite songs OR disses he wrote about someone being a jerk to u

watching chris perform did things to you. seeing him sweat, brushing his gorgeous hair out of his face, putting in so much energy into his performance... it's intoxicating! sometimes you wish he'd just drop the mic, pull you onstage, and make love to you infront of the world.

he talks about marrying you while he's balls deep inside of your wet cunt :( saying how he wants to drop a humongous bag on your ring, give you the wedding of your dreams, and how he desperately wants to hear "missus sturniolo" from others' mouths

chris will totally pop up behind stage after a show and guide you to your dressing room not so subtly. you apologize to your manager before rushing to your private room like a giddy teenager. "wanna see her sweetheart, she wet for me righ' now? oh, there she is.." he coos as he bends down to his knees right in front of your pussy when you pull down your pretty pink stage costume.

@leah-loves-lilies @1everythingmustgo @star-sturn @junnniiieee07 @mattsneezing @freshloveee@freshsturns@emma4eva @r6diosturns @matthasmywholeheart @donthugmeimhot @blahbel668 @chrissturnsss @joanofarcily @mattscoquette @slutsturn @sturnioloremarker @ashley9282828 @jnkvivi @sturncakez @lanasturn @riasturns @st7rnioioss @strnlxlqve @starlace111 @mattsfavbigtitties @stvrlighht

[kings-highway]

some safe-for-work headcanons regarding how they might of gone about having sex for the first time for some of my favouritr haikyuu ships:

daisuga: look you know these bitches had it scheduled. not like a meticulous planned thing, but it was definitely something they knew was going to happen in advance. Like they talked about it, agreed they both wanted it, and then 3 weeks later Suga's parents go away for the weekend and they know like a solid week in advance that their "hang out" on Saturday evening is basically exclusively so they can have sex. They're very prepared. This also probably makes that week of training super annoying for the team bc they cant figure out why their captains are being SO overly giggly like you are seventeen/eighteen year old men wtf is going on.

iwaoi: i've always thought they were probably way more nervous than any of their friends assumed and definitely did not have sex as early as people thought. like mattsun and makki both constantly tease them in a way that insinuates they're actively having sex but they probably didnt actually do it until like... the last few months of high school. They were both just nervous! Iwa was very afraid of rushing things and doing it "wrong," and Oikawa wasnt even sure what doing it "right" would be so they had like 6 false-starts before they actually managed it.

ushiten: dorm living is not condusive to intimacy so when for the first time in like 8 months since they started dating that they have a confirmed evening with a locked dorm alone they end up making out for just a crazy amount of time. Tendou is too nervous to actually move anything forward because he's too anxious over the possibility of rejection but he keeps making these weird half-insinuations like "haha I cant believe nobody's going to be back for another four hours... we could do anything and get away with it... isnt that so funny... like nobody would know if we were making out or having sex or just reading a book... haha... isnt that crazy... me and you..." and he's all weird and twitchy about it until Ushijima tells him he doesn't think the idea of them having sex is crazy at all and then it is on immediately.

kuroken: highkey, kuroo probably lays out like a whole romantic, corny ass evening with candles and rose petals and is prepared to have a whole long conversation about being "ready" and Kenma just sort of rolls his eyes and is like "have you finished talking? this is Too Much. I need you to understand this is Too Much. Oh my god I love you but WOW." (it works anyway and Kenma is sufficient wooed).

tsukkiyama: this one might be a little out there but I genuinely think they're the most likely to have it happen by accident, or in a spontaneous moment of opportunity. Like they both intend to just take advantage of the empty house with only a bit of making out and then suddenly they're losing their clothes and it's like "we'll have a conversation about it tomorrow, im sure."

kagehina: okay this one is more stupid but I imagine after they've been dating a while Hinata is like "you know what, im ready to take the next step" but Kageyama cannot read ppl so Hinata's somewhat obvious attempts at seduction go entirely over his head, and Hinata is getting increasingly frustrated and dramatic and trying really really hard to get Kageyama to realize what he wants and it ends up causing a fight between them because Kageyama thinks Hinata is being weird and Hinata thinks Kageyama is being intentionally distant and eventually Kageyama blows up and is like "Oh my god if you want to break up or something just say so!!!" and Hinata is like "Oh my GOD I dont want to break up with you I want to have sex with you!!!" and of course that shuts everyone up and unfortunately Yachi is probably also there and wants to die.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

To elaborate more on the Pesterquest stuff -

Alternia is a hell world. It's shitty to live in, even if you're a highblood, unless you fit a very specific mold of person AND are lucky enough to be born of a high caste. Every troll character we care about is, in some way, fucked over by their relationship to their society; Eridan and Vriska get it the worst, having been forced to participate in the murdering side of things since they were young, but every lowblood is screwed and every highblood is made worse even just by their passive participation. Kanaya becomes less sympathetic because she seems completely at peace with the society she grew up in, and Feferi wants to enforce casteism, even if it's of a different flavor. Gamzee and Equius both hold genuinely casteist beliefs and attitudes, which slip out and alienate them from the people they care about.

Putting a friendship simulator into the middle of all this is... a choice, I guess. I'm not going to begrudge anyone for wanting that or liking that, but it's going to be inherently at odds with what Alternia is and is meant to represent, and thus, fundamentally at odds with many of the characters' arcs and even basic personality traits, so heavily are they influenced by the shit society they grew up in.

For a non-Eridan example, Karkat loathes himself in massive part because his society loathes him. He's kill-on-sight and lives in daily terror of death. He wears a symbol at all because not having one marks him as even more of a freak, even though he knows that that symbol is connected to the empire's biggest rebel, whose footsteps he is expected to follow. The reason he's so obsessed with being leader-y and earning his teammates' reapect, or the respect of anybody, is because he's so deeply insecure about whether or not he even deserves to exist.

If you soften Alternia to the point you can write a lighthearted friendship simulator in it, then that characterization... goes away. Karkat is no longer motivated by deep, overwhelming insecurities, which drive him to idolize the society that deems him unworthy, mistakenly believing that if he can find validation in that society, he'll feel less bad about himself. Instead, Karkat is just kind of an asshole!

It's the same way with Eridan. He and Karkat are equal and opposite in this way - while Karkat is marked for death by his society, Eridan belongs to the extremely privileged caste of sea dweller royalty - even moreso than Feferi, as Feferi is slated to be murdered by the Condesce as soon as she comes of age (and her ridiculous optimism is likely something she cultivated in outright defiance of this fate). But it turns out that being a sea dweller sucks shit, too, if you aren't the extremely niche type of person that society deems "correct."

Eridan is not actually casteist and genuinely likes his land dweller friends - and this is unacceptible. Not only that, but smaller "unacceptible" offenses are wrapped up in big ones - despite not liking murder and feeling guilty about it, murder is objectively the correct thing for Eridan to be doing, constantly, to the point of it being "all [he's] ever done practically," because if he doesn't fulfil the duty of his bloodline to be murdering lusii (and by extension, their charges, who are culled when their lusii die), EVERYBODY dies. The constant push-pull of trauma, societal expectations and obligations, the fate of the species, and the fact that he is inherently not the "right" kind of person for his society, are pretty much his entire character. He's basically a walking ball of anxiety and emotional turmoil.

So, again, if you soften Alternia to the point where you can write a story about Eridan wanting to see Shrek in a public theater (something he would not actually be able to peacefully do in canon Alternia - at least not without taking off his cape, hiding his fins, and going anonblood - as sea dwellers are considered ridiculously hostile to the point even Gamzee's nervous about being on the beach for too long), Eridan ends up being just kind of an asshole!

Pesterquest!Eridan is, and I cannot stress this enough, fundamentally not the same guy as canon Eridan. They have practically nothing in common, from the fact that PQ!Eridan is willing to do something for leisure, to the fact that he isn't widely feared and the movie theater doesn't empty out in a panic when he turns up, even down to the fact that he likes femme fashion (canon Eridan goes to Lengths to lean into masc fashion) and Shrek (canon Eridan is a hipster). Hell, even the fact that PQ!Eridan SMILES is a massive deviation from canon!Eridan, who has never once been depicted smiling, and probably hasn't for many sweeps.

Also that he has that much beef with Sollux when, canonically, the two had a lukewarm mutual dislike and didn't even bother interacting until Feferi was added to the mix and Eridan became mad that Sollux was dating her. He wasn't even casteist about him until then, and after, even Sollux and Feferi don't think he's casteist, they just think he's ashenflirting so he can get into a quad with Feferi. Like come on, if you're going to feature another troll in Eridan's route, 1) make it be Karkat, and 2) have Eridan cheat on you the whole time with Karkat like he does to Feferi.

Eridan is just overall a wild choice in a friendship sim - I can't even blame them for just writing an OC and putting an Eridan skin on top - because societally, Eridan isn't even supposed to have non-sea dweller friends. The sea dweller/land dweller race war is something the Condesce deliberately put into place in order to keep land dwelling nobility in line, and Equius cites it as one of the reasons he never got along with Eridan. Like, the very fact that Eridan talks to two land dwellers on friendly terms (Kanaya and Karkat) is a MASSIVE deviation from what he's "supposed" to be like, and a huge hint that he's not as casteist as he'd like to appear. You are genuinely hundreds, if not thousands, of times likelier to end an encounter with Eridan either orphaned or dead than as his friend. He's an unstable maniac, and there's a reason so many members of his team don't like him even though he's legitimately not casteist and they mostly seem aware of it (nobody really complains about or even notices Eridan's casteism by the time they're on the meteor - his contradictions are really obvious, and it's likely that they've more or less realized that he's full of shit).

Again, I don't begrudge anybody for wanting or liking PQ. Who cares, really. I'm just saying that as a canon discussion blog, there's not really any place for PQ because it's so far removed from canon that, like, there's not really anything meaningful to discuss about it. The setting and characters in PQ are fundamentally divested from canon, and not even in an AU way. And it's totally fine if that's what you like, but, yeah, like.

Was Eridan written well (where "well" = accurate to canon): no. Maybe he's fine as an OC with an Eridan Minecraft skin slapped on, but that's not my beautiful son, that's not my baby boy.

What did they get wrong about Eridan (where "wrong" = inaccurate to canon): all.

What route would I have written for Eridan: he shoots you with a gun and you die. And then maybe cheats on you with Karkat

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst

[delphientropy]

(i say "you" in a loose manner and do not actually talk directly to the reader most times. because what i say may be a little upsetting snd it looks like im yelling i just want everyone to be safe)

hey fucking DNI if you think its okay at any capacity to post me or other systems on systemscringe. fuck off. fuck. the hell. off. youre not high and mighty for gatekeeping system experiences. youre not better than anyone for claiming someone who youve NEVER FUCKING MET IN YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE IS FAKING SOMETHING. YOU CANNOT TELL. YOU CANT. END OF FUCKING CONVERSATION. YOU ARENT A PROFESSIONAL, YOU ARENT BETTER THAN ANYONE. IN FACT IM BETTER THAN YOU. I AM BETTER THAN YOU. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

(this post isnt about endos. endos are not systems. theyre something entirely different and should not be in system spaces. stop forcing yourself in mentally ill peoples spaces and utilize your fucking block button instead of harassing me for dekais sake im sick of it.)

[demonandbard]

when i think about kon having sex with bart those first few times, i think about how hard he’s had to work to STOP being a performer in his love life, since he spent his formative years dancing to women who used him for his body as much as they did for his power. with bart, kon doesn’t HAVE to service someone. he doesn’t have to be the showpony, doesn’t have to accept violence as foreplay or be a manly, masculine man to perform an ideal that only really exists in his head. with bart, who’s as much his friend as he is his lover, he can just breathe and be himself for once. after all, what’s wrong with taking off your clothes and just laying back down? maybe kon’s tired of doing all the work. maybe he just wants to be held and fucked on his back by a man he’s always loved in some form since they were kids.

maybe kon’s first time with a guy doesn’t have to be a tragedy in six parts. maybe it’s just plenty of boning and holding each other knowing that it’s the safest kon has ever been with a lover bc he cannot hurt bart allen. u cant hurt someone who’s already died. and kon knows bart would never hurt him, even tho he knows bart can. it’s the trust, the intimacy in letting go and letting yourself be loved, entirely, without having to worry about whether or not you’re enough. also, kon gets to throw his legs up in the air for a real one

[ihaveastorminme]

i know that everyone enjoyed otto laying it on aegon, and i may i be struck down right the fuck now for giving criston cole even one single inch of benefit of the doubt, because he deserves none and i cannot fucking stand him and his hypocrisy, BUT

i genuinely do wonder how different Criston's orders for Arryk are to Otto's own suggestion in season one [ep 9], to the lord commander. Otto said it himself, didnt he: 'go to dragonstone, be quick and be clean'. [the idea of a clean assassination is even possible when the poeple you'd have to kill are rhaenyra, jace, luke, joffrey, baby aegon and viserys - and probably and most importantly daemon - the oxymoron of that. the utter silence on that in that council ANYWAY]. How would that have gone? how is that different from what Criston told Arryk?

Is it because the tension is so much higher now, therefore the job harder? because honestly, having the lord commander go to dragonstone, be welcomed there by the woman he has guarded all his life since she was a girl, and then kill her and her entire family - idk man, that feels like a bigger betrayal than Arryk assassinating Rhaenyra, when Arryk has clearly declared his loyalty to Aegon and everyone knows where he stands. I mean, both are horrid, im not arguing for either having any merit. But why is Otto so adamant that the plan is stupid when not even a week ago it was HIS OWN PLAN? I mean, it IS a stupid plan, lets be real; because AT BEST it would only be Rhaenyra that Arryk would be able to kill and the war doesn't end with her and everyone knows it - is This the reason Otto calls it stupid?

Because i kinda do think that [even if he were 100% sincere in his displeasure and disappointment with the plan] he was kinda using the occasion to lay into Aegon and just, push his buttons to soften him up for guidance and manipulation. like, you did this stupid thing without consulting me, you need me, how dare you exclude me cant you see how much you need me. Making him feel small - disrespecting him as he always has - to make then Aegon want his approval? idk man

im not even gonna touch on the audacious audacity of this old man to go around and slander his grandson, who he has plotting to put on the throne ALL HIS LIFE, yet not once has he ever bothered to educate him to rule. suddenly not knowing how to rule is soly aegon's fault. hilarious. Anyway-

[turnin9pag3]

its 3am and i cant sleep again.

its 3am and im tossing and turning.

its 3am and my mind is my own enemy.

its 3am and my mind is my best friend.

its 3am and i want someone to talk to other than myself.

but everyones asleep.

either that or they just dont care enough to answer.

id rather the prior.

actually id rather them talk to me.

no i wouldnt i take that back.

i do not know what i want.

is this my fatal flaw?

i want to talk to someone to pull me out when ive sunk under again.

but i know i cannot tell anyone.

i am a coward.

i am a coward and everyone is asleep so it doesnt really matter anyways does it.

everyone is asleep and the stars on my roof have long since gone out and my bed is on fire and my brain is melting and my head is in purgatory and thom yorkes voice streams from my record player and i scream for it to stop but i cant bring myself to turn it off.

i miss when that sound brought me comfort.

now all it brings is painful unwanted memories.

but i have to want them to some extent because even after yelling for it to turn off i still get up when it goes dead and flip the vinyl around just so i can start screaming again.

and as all this goes on i question to myself- is this insanity.

have i gone truly purely insane.

lolled over on my flaming mattress while i grab these awful thoughts and smother myself in them.

maybe im a sadist.

or a masochist.

im not sure which to define myself because when your inflicting your own pain from outside your body which can you be accredited for?

the victim or the culprit.

i am the result of my own creation.

i am my own demise.

but its 3am and i dont see any stars so maybe ill try to go bed.

but i guess i wouldnt be up at 3am if i could so ill sit in the dark with radiohead softly singing me to insanity til i drift away or rip my hair out.

i guess we just have to wait and see which will come first.

and lord i pray its not the latter.

[kittenbradensgf]

oooookay i need to talk iwtv finale again so spoilers below

i was going through all five stages of grief last night i cant lie. i do like the episode i think it was really really well done and incredibly well performed and a brilliant setup for an already confirmed third season.

the part i got upset about was the revelation that lestat saved louis, not armand, that felt very destructive and out of character at first but the more i think on it the more it makes sense.

I do believe armand loved louis, i think he fell in love with him in paris and has been trying to cling to that since, however i think during that time he saw it as unrequited- louis not loving him back, refusing to accept that they were companions, still being hung up about lestat.

One of the most important things about armand is how deeply lonely he is and how afraid he is of that loneliness. I think he knew that when presented with this choice by the coven, it was to stay with them, let louis die in the trial and have security and companionship even if he hated himself for it and was miserable, or to save louis and have only him, who he viewed as not even loving him back anyway, despite all his attempts. it was 13 or 1, with no guarantee and even very little likelihood that that 1 would stay.

It wasn’t until madeleine tells armand that she can tell louis loves him that he realised that he was wrong, but it was too late. he had a chance for a genuine love and relationship with louis, but he couldn’t bear the risk of losing him that he completely sabotaged it anyway before it could truly begin.

Then lestat, the trial, claudia’s death. If he had saved louis, louis still would have loved lestat more, never be satisfied, and be forever changed by the loss of claudia which he would forever blame armand for not stopping it. which is what we see in dubai (and san francisco) when louis does believe armand saved him.

But then lestat saves louis, again proving to armand that it would forever be them who love each other, he can never have either.

With louis in the crypts and not dead, it was either let him die then, which by that point was meaningless as the coven already thought he saved louis, and he had lost his security and relationship with them, again facing loneliness he couldn’t bear, or save him now and take credit for it, letting louis kill the coven and go on to be with him even because of a lie, because otherwise he would have nothing else, no one else.

Armand cannot be alone, he doesn’t know how to be, he needs to serve someone somehow, its his only way of knowing love and staying alive, even if it becomes controlling, manipulative and abusive. he doesn’t know or remember anything more than those behaviours.

All in all, armand loved louis, the love was never fully reciprocated, armand couldn’t bear this and the threat of losing everything to it, agreed to kill louis alongside claudia, but when the plan backfired and lestat saved him, he could only lie and say he did instead to prevent himself for being entirely alone. even if louis would never truly love him back and would always want lestat, his true saviour.

it’s horrible and tragic and heartbreaking and a cycle of broken ideas of love and abuse. and unfortunately very in character, despite what i said yesterday. it is very in character for armand to have an all or nothing approach. and its a learned behaviour.

(not to mention armand actually did give up his entire coven for lestat a century prior which did leave him entirely alone when lestat did not want him, he was not going to do that again, even if it meant self sabotage and losing someone he loved)

[orcelito]

y'all have cursed me ngl. been about 2 weeks since i made Gay Moon Post & in the thousand + notes since i have seen that fucking gay moon panel SO many times

i see ppl redrawing it & im just like "oh Gay Moon Post reference?" & i have to remind myself tht this is a part of the manga that plenty of other people see without seeing my post on tumblr dot com

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded psychopath happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

[puppyeared]

these two are so interesting to me

characters belong to @canisalbus

[obsob]

the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

[orange-coloredsky]

a development team that looks like this could not possibly have any preconceived biases against Black people. noooo way. its just a mistake that all of the Black people in fo4 are slaves or named after fascist colonizers or murdered or stereotypical conspiracy freaks. there is no way that the reality of this team is reflected in the art they create over and over and over and over and over and over and

[ID 1: A photo of the Fallout 4 development team taken from above and forward, showing a large crowd smiling at the camera, made up apparently entirely by white people, and almost entirely by white men. End ID.]

[jessenitrogen]

ratchet is more of a personality guy than a "sweet rims" guy anyway

(this was funnier in my head pls dont yell at me)

[amanfromnewjersey]

I am going insane about these stoats

(my insta is @trisideseye and that's where I mostly post art. I'm purely posting here bc @quiddie is active on here and I need aabria to know, personally ,how fucked up I am about these stoats)