#i ...don't know where i have them currently lol
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"Tag nine people you want to get to know better" thing. (I'm not against such things, on the contrary, I would like more of them, I don't know, for some reason I've been very sociable lately.)
Tagged by: @macaron-jester
Favorite Color: Purple. It's always been purple. Idk why.
Currently Reading: "Five books of the lives, heroic deeds and sayings of Gargantua and his son Pantagruel". We are currently studying medieval literature in lectures, and I decided to start with this one from the whole list. But I like it and I didn't regret this decision at all. I think I'm going to be obsessed with medieval literature in the near future anyway, I think I'm going to be too interested in this topic the more I start studying it.
Last Song: Hush -- Deep Purple. It's been about an hour since I listened that song on my playlist, lol.
Last Movie: I watched a lot of movies during the holidays, but I remember that the last ones were "The Mask" and "Shrek the Third".
Last Series: Honestly, I'm not a fan of series just because I'm too lazy to watch them, although sometimes I really want to. But at the same time, I've often felt gusts of nostalgia lately and I've been watching some animated series because of the memories and the fact that they sometimes inspire me. "Adventure Time" was one of them.
Sweet, Savoury, Spicy: Sweet things can't be without savoury things, just as savoury things can't be without sweet things. They are complete opposites, but at the same time they exist in harmony. I can't choose one thing, I need this damn balance every day, sorry.
Craving: I usually don't eat for half a day, so when I get home, I'm ready to eat anything. But sometimes I think about cinnamon bun, garlic bread, or ciabatta. Or schnitzel with pickled cucumbers. Or about cranberries in sugar. I'm not picky about food.
Tea/Coffee: Once upon a time, I couldn't live without tea. Now I can't live without coffee.
Currently working on: That's where the fun begins. A comic that I plan to release either on October 31st or November 24th (I even thought about rescheduling it to December.). It's actually a long story, because I want to do it probably from 2021 or 2022, (I even have some kind of storyboard of some moments from then and one concept art or something like that. Actually, that's not all, there are more such things, it's just what I have access to now) but then I lacked the skills, 2023 was a big shock and disappointment for me, which caused me to be in a kind of stagnation for a long time, and in 2024 I may have recovered from that year, but I was just exhausted. I think this year I will finally create what I wanted and I will have to start in the near future to make it.
I'm currently making concepts for the main characters, and so far 3/8 of the main and minor ones are coming out. There are a lot more secondary characters as well as the main ones, but I can't show some of them in the way I would like. I can't post the finished part now because I want to show them all together.
Sometimes I open FL Studio, but for this I definitely need to catch the moment when some annoying melody starts playing in my head. A couple of days ago, I didn't have time to save that kind of the melody. But maybe I'll recreate it someday if I remember. I used to have a guitar and I could play the first half of "Killer Queen" before the chorus according to some tutorial. Basically, I'm just drawing, rather than doing music thing.
Beware of this, y'all, more than half of my subscribers! But I'm not insisting, I'm just suggesting.
@flowuraa @c00kietin @artsandstoriesandstuff @bvannn @owlthatnestslow @hyperiinked @lavendercheesecake @ridiculouslyaverageguy @tobyfoxfacts
rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better
Tagged by @indrid-hot - thanks a bunch!
Favorite Color: A nice, warm, sunny orange - but also honestly most other colors of the rainbow and then some.
Currently Reading: The Tevinter Nights Dragon Age short story collection.
Last Song: L'appuntamento - Ornella Vanoni
Last Movie: Ah, gosh. HM. I haven't watched anything that's not a TV show in a while. I semi-voluntarily caught the last fifteen minutes of Scrooged over the winter holidays I guess?
Last Series: Last series I watched any part of is, as always, "Emergency!" because I will never not be stuck in 70's paramedic hell. If we're talking new-to-me shows, a friend's making me watch Grey's Anatomy (early seasons) once a week, probably because observing my growing despair about the characters' poor life choices is fun. I don't even normally watch medical shows, and yet here we are lol
Sweet, Savoury, Spicy: Savory if I had to pick
Craving: Some good spaghetti with olive oil and obscene amounts of lightly toasted garlic.
Tea/Coffee: Yes please, lol
Currently working on: OH BOY WHAT A QUESTION.
Spinning: Gotland on my spindles (4-ply, one single per spindle, for funsies - except I accidentally mixed up which bits of fiber go with which single on which spindle, so that'll be fun to sort out...), 7oz/200g of red Merino on the wheel (for a crochet hat, followed by 9.5 oz of red and black Merino for a woven scarf). But also 24.5oz/700g of grey Merino. And cotton on the supported spindle. And I've got some laceweight viscose on the mini turkish spindle that I should really work on...
Crocheting: Half a dozen things, including a lacy collar that needs buttons and blocking, a gigantic star-shaped wrap-around shawl, an incredibly boring granny square top for my little sister, and too many others to count.
Art: The Emergency! tarot as the eternal never-ending WIP; I also have some Dragon Age Veilguard related plans revolving around the Grand Necropolis and irl Catacomb Saints and I'd love to get some DA-style tarot cards done for all my player characters.
Writing: I still have a couple unfinished fanfics that need another chapter, as well as two deeply self-indulgent OC/Emergency! crossovers that friends are making me write, and I also have some Dragon Age stuff in the works - though if anyone will ever see that is another question entirely.
Music: Practicing various stuff for LARP; also slowly chipping away at Hozier's Work Song because my partner asked nicely.
With no pressure, I will tag: @geminyde, @caseyscraftycorner, @swords-n-spindles, @alpacazappa, @rosesonneptune, @rose-of-pollux, @zooarchaeologyatdinner, @kalikatze aaaaand I can't decide on a 9th person to tag so whoever wants to do this: You're It!
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I finished my reread of TSC in preparation for TGR, and I have thoughts
Jean's sassiness and the way he calls/insults everyone in his vicinity like they're an ant beneath his shoe
The starcrossed tragedy between him and Renee. They're the right people at the wrong time but there's no "in another universe" for them because this is the only one where Jean lives.
"Probably not,” Abby said. “My Foxes chose to fight back.” Yeah, fuck you too Abby. This is why you're not the counselor of the team.
"Loving something is not enough" book theme if I've ever seen one
Right on cue, the fact that rainbows aren't Jean's first little miracle.
The difference between a book centered on Jean and one centered on Neil is incredibly evident. Picking up on what I said about Neil being a protagonist full of agency, here we have the very opposite. For the entire book things happen to Jean and he is unmoored, swept left and right by the current, stubbornly stuck in that corner where he can only take and receive and submit. And again, it works so well because we've known him for two books already, and we get constant sparks of that righteous rage he feels inside that at some point has to explode. And when that happens, we'll get the turn we need to a character who starts exercising agency. But reality is never that sweet, because Jean is right, his cage is so much bigger than the one he had before, but it's a cage nonetheless.
Speaking of differences between Neil's and Jean's POVs, I know it's already been pointed out countless times in the fandom, but it will never stop being funny how Jean salivates while looking at beautiful people, whereas if you ask Neil to describe them he'll go "Huuuuuuh, 2 eyes, 4 limbs?"
"Oh, he thought. It’s so big." Guess where I still get teary eyed.
"Unsteady fingers put in the Raven digits over and over and over." GUESS WHERE I STILL GET TEARY EYED.
We meet Neil at a point in his life where he's hiding his real identity even from himself, and we don't get to see who he is when he's given the freedom to be confident in his own skin until the very end of TKM (even though it's only a little glimpse). At the end of TSC we finally see him crystal clear, and the guy is a mafioso through and through lmaooo People going "oh Palmetto recruited the son of a criminal" like no you don't get it, the father is not the problem here lol
The cultural disconnect between age of consent laws in California/S.Carolina and Italy slapping me out of the book (and fandom discourse)
Too much has already been said about Jeremy's mysterious past. What I will add is: Jean is clearly in dire need of proper, well-adjusted friends who can build a solid support network around and under him, but it's obvious Jean is extremely conflicted over the gap between them. He doesn't want to talk about his life, but there's also a real concern over the fact that these people cannot fully understand him because they come from a different world than his, and the result is that Jean wants to protect them from himself as well. For his character to grow he'll have to step away from his broken reality and into something healthier, of course, so he will get closer to how they live, but there's always going to be a gap between them because his life literally belongs to the yakuza. He has freedom, as Neil reminded him, but his life will be cut short if he fails to deliver what he was bought for. And that's something that the characters we have as of now can empathize with because they care, but cannot viscerally understand, and I'm not sure they will accept (see the mirror between Jean stopping them from calling the police, and Neil asking Jean not to involve the Moriyama). I'm not sure where the story is going, if Jerejean will always have this gap between them that they consciously cross for the sake of each other (which is a good love story in itself), or if Jeremy's mysterious past will somehow help Jean see him as someone closer to him, someone who can understand where he comes from. If the gap stays in place, we'll probably have the different kinds of love Jean can feel toward a romantic partner who deeply cares for him, and for partners like Kevin and Neil who got their hands bloody just like Jean did.
#aftg#tsc#the sunshine court#moving on to tgr soon as it comes out#will probably tag it like “tgr spoilers” or something
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Fragrant olive (Osmanthus fragrans) might be my favourite shrub/small tree of all time. It's known for its intense, sweet fragrance, like ripe apricots. You can instantly tell when there's a fragrant olive in the neighborhood when they bloom, as it's heavenly to be greeted by their fragrance
#my nonsense#ella reads manga#yume no hashibashi#osmanthus fragrans#plants#botany#genuinely the best 'discovery' i made in japan#i started experiencing this lovely scent here and there and i had no idea where it came from#i asked locals and they couldn't answer me (what do uni guys know about flowers ig)#but eventually i tracked it down to these flowers#i pressed some and took them home with me#i ...don't know where i have them currently lol#i should look for them#botanist problems#anyway i love this plant so much and was overcome with joy when they brought it up in this manga#as if they needed to fish for my tears even more
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@istadris
I have been given permission to ramble lol
So, three different ideas. One of them is honestly very small and I hope to post it by the end of the month. It's meant to be a Valentine's day oneshot with "Secret Admirer" as the prompt. Nothing super crazy, so not much to talk about
Second idea was inspired by a random video I stumbled across on YouTube where a contractor was going through the original Luigi's Mansion and discussing what he would do if he were tasked with renovating tbe building. I've just been toying with the idea that Luigi probably renovates it in his spare time, because he at least has some of the skills to do so himself and it gives him something to stay occupied with. I also toyed with the idea of him making it a Bed and Breakfast or an inn, or even being hired to do some renovations on one of Bowser's older castles/ forts and that's how it turns into a Bowuigi fic. I also have a random note about it maybe taking place not long after SPM and it being him trying to ignore that trauma and just keep chugging along.
However, looking back on it now, the handful of ideas I had could easily fit into the Koopa Valley AU that @darkwingsnark and I talked about a while back. Which was roughly a Harvest Moon/ Stardew Valley AU in which someone that the Mario Bros saves ends up leaving their house/land and property to them after they pass away. Said person that passed is a Koopa that lives on a farm on the fringes of the Darklands. Mario isn't really about it, he's got a million things going in already, but Luigi is absolutely up for moving away and looking after the farm the way the old man wanted. Luigi basically integrates into the community little by little and strikes up a deal with Bowser using the farm. Ans it was basically a bit of discovering things about koopas and their culture, integrating with the village, falling in love with Bowser, and learning more about the old koopa that passed away through his old belongings. Said idea is currently forbidden because I know Snark has a million things going on and I have a literal dozen ideas chewing on my brain at the moment, on top of having my own plate full of things irl. So it's a very fun idea and I'd like to revisit it one day and collab with Snark, but I know there's a lot going on at the moment. Even for myself, I know I probably cannot commit to that kind of project right now.
Third idea is inspired by my all time favorite Mario political intrigue fic, which was Firebird by LightningLaveau. It also takes some influence from a very old fic idea I had started back when I was working on stuff like The Failed Pixl but never got far on, as well as @shapeshiftinterest saying there is not nearly enough fics and art exploring the Mr. L and Rookie dynamics of Luigi and Bowser. Said fic idea is basically that MarioKart is translated into underground/ illegal street racing, which leads racers to take on alter egos/ ways of concealing their identities. Daisy and Bowser are close friends and Daisy somehow convinces Bowser to give it one singular chance and to race with the group she's with. Bowser, not expecting it to stick, does a semi-basic disguise to dress up as Rookie. Meets Mr. L and the rest of the group and kind of can't help but stick around for the shenanigans.
I don't know how political I'd make it, especially considering how that Firebird was the inspo for it. (And really, truly, I can ramble about Firebird all day. I LOVE that fic and I think about it every month, I swear. I hope the author is doing well, especially since they took the fic down a couple of years back. If anyone can find it on Wayback Machine or internet archive, I will love you forever.)
Firebird is honest to god my gold standard for writing political intrigue and suspense with the Marioverse, and I loved the way the author weaved both things they plucked from canon and things they riffed off of for the story. As far as my own fic, it's not a very fleshed out idea yet, but it's definitely there. Which is why it's going in the vault for the moment
Instead of a swear jar, I need a WIP idea jar, for every random fic idea that I know either is not going to be written, will take a million years for me to write, or is probably not going to be completed. Double points if I'm already eyeball deep in one, if not more, other projects.
On an unrelated note, I feel the need to drop 3 coins into a jar
#third one is one i want to do the multichap fic for#for sure#and i could either do something small or something like the koopa valley au for the renovations idea#but yeah i am obsessed with firebird to this DAY#also snark#i stumbled across the old notes for the koopa valley au and i forgot we named the old koopa Jenkins lol#bowuigi#bowser x luigi#luigi x bowser#writing#fic writer#fic writing#wips#firebird fic#mariokart fic#lightninglaveau
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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Books of 2025: ADRIFT IN CURRENTS CLEAN AND CLEAR by Seanan McGuire.
Ah, yes, my favorite January tradition: heartbreak in tiny series installment form :)
This one is about a turtle-obsessed disabled Russian girl who gets adopted by an American family and fitted for a prosthetic she doesn't ask for, want, or need, and then she splashes through her Door.
I love Russian language and culture things (shout out to accidentally double minoring in college), so I was excited for a Russian protag and a Russian-coded Door world! Excellent enrichment in my enclosure. Neat cultural expansion on the Wayward Children universe (multiverse? cosmos?? insert appropriately scaled setting word here).
I also liked the aquatic nature of Belyyreka--terrifying giant frogs and delightful giant turtles and delightful talking foxes on the riverbanks were all lovely, and the worldbuilding about different weights of water was neat! Very mind-bendy kind of setting, I dig it.
This installment felt very slim (146 pages in my copy), and Our World Heavy--the first 46 pages were in Colorado, and the last 100 were in Belyyreka, but it felt like we did More Frequent and Larger Time Skips in Belyyreka compared to Earth? Kind of speedrun mode, sans Quests, really (this one was a lot more oriented toward Finding/Building Your Family, which was signposted pretty clearly upon our arrival in Belyyreka). Mostly a quieter installment up until the, y'know, Typical Impending Tragedy of Return at the end. (Did I almost put it down at 1AM last night with 30 pages left so everyone could Be Happy? perHAPS,)
Overall: I had a good time! But, ow, my heart (once again and forever).
#books#books of 2025#adrift in currents clean and clear#seanan mcguire#book photos#wayward children#i cannot begin to describe how much editing i had to do to get these colors to look right#given the shitty lighting conditions in which i took the picture lol#anyway i have uh. mixed feelings. about how the russian was handled#(i always have mixed feelings about how russian is handled)#but like. do you transliterate it AND italicize it? do you just drop the cyrillic letters in there? Who Is The Book For lol#i also unfortunately am unsure how i feel about the twin prosthetic instances in this book?#but it's not really my lane so i won't go into it#if anyone who shares her disability has talked about this please let me know because i'm curious though#....okay i do also have a quibble about this kid's name#licherally within the first two words of the book i was like. Uh Oh.#because she's 'Nadya Sokolov'. in a russian orphanage.#seanan. ma'am. where did u put her final 'a'. it's a hugely gendered language she should be Sokolova#(bardugo did this too and it drove me nuts lol)#IF YOU'RE GONNA BE SLAVIC WITH YOUR WORLDBUILDING GO ALL THE WAY#so admittedly i was on High Russian Alert because of this#and i don't love italicizing the ~foreign~ words#especially not if they're transliterated.....#it was particularly the 'be sure' that got me actually. because 1. if the kid is russian and you're basically translating all her other--#--thoughts into english. why is 'be sure' spelled out in transliterated russian. why not either show us the shape of the letters or save--#--the 'oh it's in russian' revelation for AFTER#i just. have a lot of thoughts. about how things are handled in translation/transliteration lol.#(i spent a very long time pondering this for my own writing projects. i would just write it in cyrillic and figure it out when typing)#ANYWAY MANY THOUGHTS MOST OF THEM NICHE. i think i had fun overall though. not my fave installment but i'm still here for the ride
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from this thing on twt
#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#zarla s#sunny's art#jthm#shitpost#johnny c#didn't like this one that much so i didn't even post it on twt lolz#i was like " hmmm who should be the big-eyed one#at first i thought nny would be the one asking but i recently read this sidefic where edgar is trying to make things#less awkward by filling the silence with questions#so i was like lol imagine edgar just asking nervously#brusk also told me the same thing and mmmyes#i wanted to wait to do another sketchdump so i could post this one but i didn't want to wait till the trend was ove#also it's not like have anything else to post . i just have some stupid crossover i did of vargas and code lyoko#really poorly made sketches too so i don't think i'll post them they're also in spanish#the only one in english is this one of jeremie taking edgar to the factory#and edgar's like “ a supercomputer ? while jeremie's thinking something like ” i need to launch a return to the past#why would edgar even know about the supercomputer in the first place though#idk all of those doodles were so pointless but fun to do#i have those and some drawings of edgar bleeding to death but i'm NOT posting those#lol i drew nny's boots he looks so silly#i'm currently working on the askblog ( just setting answers together so i can work on them later#idk if i'm happy or if this is just a manic episode but I FEEL GREAT bye#won't schedule this one like the others bc this is just a silly thing
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a writing mystery i have yet to figure out is like... okay so you've got Story and Characters and Setting, right? all of those interact. your characters are who they are because of the setting in which they live. your story is what it is because of who your characters are and the decisions they make. etc. they're sort of nested.
the really sensible thing to do would be to choose a setting, flesh that out, figure out who lives there, and then generate a story from that, right?
what do you do when you're working backwards? i almost always start with some snippet of story, but then when i start fleshing out the characters they morph into people who don't fit the story, or when i start fleshing out the setting it starts making the characters and/or story not make sense, and it just all becomes a huge headache
#tin kitchen in the garret#this is why i mostly write fanfic lol#i love fic and original fiction equally but with fic i can have 2 out of 3 of those elements taken care of for me#im thinking about one of my shelved original fiction projects again#currently i've just got... two guys with things wrong with them (hell yeah) and half a setting (fantasy version of where i live)#and only a vague idea of a story (oh god oh no)#it started out with a completely different plot where a guy comes back from the dead wrong#im not entirely sure what happened to that story! it's totally different now#i think i started trying to figure out how the coming back from the dead worked and settled on 'environmental magic contamination'#and went waaaaay off on a tangent#and the dead guy's personality changed a lot to the point that i wasnt sure his death made sense#originally he was almost a newt geiszler expy & i was like. no. this is original fiction. i want a different guy to write about#maybe i should recycle the original concept into a fic actually. ill give that some thought#anyway. ended up shelving the project because i got stuck in the worldbuilding swamp#but i still love my guys with problems...#high-achieving environmental scientist who copes with a debilitating anxiety disorder by spending all his time studying lakes#who stumbles onto a government conspiracy completely by accident & becomes the target of unhinged psychological warfare#from a respectable local politician who's trying to cover it up#don't ask me what the government conspiracy is i do not know. worldbuilding swamp#enter: pest control guy who keeps getting distressed phone calls from the scientist#pest control guy's type is Men With Problems so naturally he's like. huh. what is wrong with this guy 👀#but then over the course of trying to help him realizes like. oh shit this is not just anxiety this guy is in serious trouble. what the fuc#also pest control guy has an undiagnosed chronic illness that's steadily getting worse. but he's fine :) no he's completely fine really :)#definitely not sick. nope. definitely doesn't need to see a doctor#don't read into any of this. he's completely normal and fine#and. yeah that's about all i got#worldbuilding swamp.#it is really hard to get the vibe right with widespread magic in a modern setting#i want it to be scientifically study-able but that started making things feel too sci-fi#edit: noooo tumblr cut off my tags with the funny story about the tarantulas
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How fortunate am I to have so many Things to love and be excited about, to appreciate and look forward to?
Things I feel so strongly about that they stumble into my mind, univited, at random times of the day? Things that spill into my speech and vocabulary without me noticing? Things that impact my vision to the point where everywhere I look, everywhere I go, I see ghosts of them?
How lucky am I to have so many Things I love and cherish enough for them to reshape my very person, change my beliefs and make me grow? Things that make my own loved ones see the Things out in the wild, and go out of their way to make sure I see them too?
How wonderful is it that I have Things that I love so much that the very act is deemed and dubbed "not normal", making my love for them seem like it's more than they are supposed to recieve? An out-of-the-ordinary and above-the-norm appreciation for the Things that make the people around me shake their heads, call me "silly".
My dear, beloved Things, may I always stay silly for you ❤️
#yes this is yet another post about legendborn lmao#but also one of my friends sent me a post with a reminder to log into Genshin today#just to get the birthday-greeting card for one of my/my favorite character#and they send me this because even though it's my favorite character#this person also knows I don't actually play genshin that much and knows that I would probably miss it if they didn't remind me 🥺🥺#and my friends let me yap about Legendborn the other day lol#and my fellow legendbornian-in-crime commented on my insta story about annotating the book that “noone loves this series more than you”#which ofc isn't *TRUE* true but it still made me feel all fuzzy lol#my parents also got me a few sets of silver earrings for christmas bcs I mentioned in passing I wanted more silver jewelry#and one of the pairs they got me was with owls because Owl City has been one of my favorite artists since forever#and I THRIVED in 2012-fashion bcs the owl jewelry was fkn EVERYWHERE and I got SO MANY because it made me think of Owl City lol#and my brother got me The Book Of Bill bcs both he and I love Gravity Falls SO MUCH#I just love ✨️ loving ✨️ things I guess#so this post is very much a love letter to my special interests and hyperfixations <333#currently have had 'Tears Run Dry' by Patrik Jean on repeat for the past 2 or so days bcs it's fkn STUNNING#but it also makes me think about my friend's ArleFuri fic bcs it just fits so welll 😭😭#and at the same time (and the reason I have it so within reach lol) is bcs I have added it to an OC's playlist for a story I'm writing#I have so damn many things I love and I almost start crying thinking about how fortunate I am to have all these things I love so dearly#and live in a time where all of these things exist and I get to experience them all at a moment's notice#and just simply get to indulge in fandom behaviour and have people around me who also LET ME do that#i love hearing people yap about what they're passionate about regardless if I know what it is or not#like how beautiful isnt it to see someone's eyes sparkle and looking like they're itching all over because they simply can't help it#they just can't contain their love and passion for the Thing ??? absolutely incredible#tove rambles#oh and don't fkn get me started on how 'Dream Catcher' by Set It Off basically is the reason I'm so determined to become one#and it being part of how I made my 17-year old self believe I could actually do what I CURRENTLY DO nearly 10 years later
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out of curiosity do you follow any hockey teams/players? hope you’ve been having a lovely day also <3
i'm gonna be honest, the only hockey player that exists to me is tyler seguin because of the Body Issue shoot, That Tweet, and he's very, very attractive.
but other than that, no, i'm not really into it!
#i'll be honest i have a love/hate thing going on#the fic is SO good even if you have no idea who these guys are#like it's incredible. the hockey fic writer thing is a joke on this website at this point but it's also not a joke#so many good stories by a bunch of very talented writers!#sometimes when i'm out of football things to read (very often the case!) but still want a sports fic#i'll just go find a random one on ao3 and am often satisfied#(until i look up the guys lol. i'm sorry. there are so few hockey players that are attractive to me)#but then like. i also get insanely petty and bitter about it#because WHERE are these incredible fic writers for my sport?? my ship??#(not to dismiss the amazing fic writers we DO have. but there are so few 😔)#we have Narratives we have Lore we have Gorgeous Guys trying to kill each other too!!#but it's like....i'm pretty sure i know why hockey is the most popular sport on tumblr and ao3#(it being. you know. the whitest sport.)#and that's not to diminish it as a sport or as a fandom! talented great people in it! many beloved friends and mutuals!#and i know there IS a growing overlap between hockey fans and football fans and i'm thrilled about it!#but like. to even that balance out. i don't feel like i need to actually get into it.#sorry! more than you wanted probably!#but yeah. not really into it. do enjoy the fics though when i come across them!#and i'm sure there are many ships my mutuals are into that i would be into as well#if i wasn't so trapped by my own current obsessions!#i hope you're having a lovely day as well <3 <3
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my current project: jump forever!
this is the first of those scheduled posts i mentioned earlier!!! i figured i would start by talking about my current project - that way i can start posting updates about it without confusing you, Michael. The next post is gonna be about the beginning of this whole Godot thing i've been on, and then i'm thinking about maybe doing a Before Godot post as a bonus once i've talked about all my godot stuff (i love saying this as if anybody cares (besides you, Michael)). setting all that aside, though: this one's gonna need some backstory, so you should buckle in.
around this time last year, me and my little cousin (he's still in high school, but we've always been pretty close) got really competitive about a little game called Jump Forever. it's a side minigame from WarioWare Mega Microgames (the GBA one) where you just jump over a little rope until you fuck up. it's really fucking fun as an addictive little mobile game, and with a quick lil emulator it was one. thus, the addiction began.
truth be told, the phase last year didn't even last that long, but i had a long bus ride a couple of weeks ago and found myself opening the GBA emulator on my phone to pass the time. that led to a little bit of playing at home, which led to beating my cousin's score, which led to getting even more into the game than i was before. as our scores get higher, we've turned to better controllers than a phone touch screen for serious record attempts - i use a ds lite i had lying around (that i reshelled! it was very fun) and he emulates on pc with a controller (i think). this got me thinking about a potential "definitive edition" of the game - probably still on mobile, but with controller support, better touch controls (the game only needs <-, ->, and A!), faster resets, selectable skins, and maybe even unlockable skins? of course, when i finished my work on fnaf (ooh foreshadowing), my sights were immediately set on a Jump Forever remake.
with all that said, welcome to the game as it currently stands! at the moment, i've got wario, the rope swingers, and the score all just about set up, with one exception; the characters have collision, the rope swings (at varying speeds, even!), and wario's speed and physics feel very accurate - but i'm still working on the ai (if you can call it that) of the rope guys as they walk back and forth. i want it to work exactly the same way as it does in the original but i always overthink random mechanics like this. hopefully the next update i give will be about how i cracked it! even if the implementation ends up jank, though, it wouldn't be the first: the rope guys check if wario is too close to them to make it over the rope with an Area2D that just checks for wario when the rope hits the ground. it works! i could just like check wario's position in the code (and it'd probably be way more efficient), but this way just... works.
i still have a buncha crap i still gotta implement before the game's even really playable - the walking ai, the title screen, the little "Ready?" animation, etc. - but that's only the beginning of my work. firstly, i'm probably gonna enlist chloe (oooh foreshadowing) to help me out by drawing some new assets (if she's free, it is finals season), and then changing the game's native resolution from 240x160 (the GBA screen) to something not fucking insane. i've got "reworking all the sprites into easy to read spritesheets" on my to-do list, and after that, making the new assets (and then maybe the skins?) will be as easy as drag & drop. once it's got the new assets and all the polish that needs to come with a shiny new resolution, i'm gonna transition into the next phase - researching how to release a game!!!
[hi, not to ruin my own amazing transition but: it's 5am and i'm running back to edit this because i completely forgot to mention that i have currently implemented a 2 frame input delay on all inputs, because that's how the emulator appears to behave when i go frame by frame. every single day i rethink this decision more and more. surely there's no way that's how it's supposed to be, right? but i feel so weird changing it now!!! i definitely fucking have to though. next time i work on it. ok anyways]
now. i've posted games to itch.io before. but even then, i kind of fucked it up (i could never get the resolution of my web games to work right???) - so it's no surprise i've always been completely daunted by the idea of "releasing a game". when you post it on real stores, that's when it becomes... real. i'm excited about the new challenges it'll pose, though! now, a mobile release means a couple of things - bite sized fun, simple progression, and fun customization. i've already got the first part nailed down, and i figured i could nail the other 2 at once with a currency system based on how many points you get (or maybe even an xp system? that goes up 1 for each jump? maybe even both???) and skins (purchasable with said currency) that let you customize the player, rope swingers, background, and maybe even the rope itself.
pictured above is my stupid ass skins mockup (i literally just made this). the rope is rainbow, the background has a snow effect and a bunch of snow on the trees/ground (isn't it great?), wario is a lil version of the rope guys, and the rope guys have santa hats. i'm not sure how many different ropes you could really make with how i'm planning the rope to move, so i'll probably end up prototyping the graphics with chloe to figure out how to lay out the sprite sheets, and if they should actually have a seperate hand-grabbing-the-rope sprite for skin purposes. it'll definitely make things really confusing, but if i go for a mobile release i don't want to run ads, and so a currency you can buy with real money (and maybe one or two goofy supporter skins that cost real money, like a solid gold guy or something, as a form of donation) is a good way to make a lil bit of money from people who like the game.
all of this is fun to think about, but it's important to remember that the next thing i have to do is that walking ai. i've gotta Make The Fucking Game before i can do all this crazy other bullshit. i'm sure the ui design for all this is gonna be soooo fun, but i need a game to attach it to first :p
this went on reeeally long but i figure if this is a dev diary or w/e it's gonna end up running long no matter what, and the more info, the more i have to look back on fondly and say "oh shit, i know exactly when this was!", which is kind of the end goal of the project. of course, these incredibly long posts about shit that only matters to me are also incredible content for you, Michael, so i'm sure you're just eating this shit up. enjoy, you weird little man.
#game dev#jump forever#godot#yeah yeah i got some real tags too. just in case i actually need em.#also michael's still here. i think he's funny#it's only been like an hour for me soooo#remember when i said it was 1am in my first post? it's 4am now lol#i looove tags i love rambling under my post where people don't feel obligated to read it#nobody ask me why i have the stickmen swinging the rope instead of kat/ana like it is after you beat them#(he said as if anybody would've noticed)#i think the stickmen are so much more awesome and the fact that you can't get them back is SO FUCKED UP#and lowkey one of the things that got me thinking about Jump Forever Definitive Edition#kat and ana are awesome the stickmen just resonate with me deep in my soul#i'm not proofreading this i'm just hoping it sounds good. really putting the “diary” in “dev diary”#man. im so glad michael is the hypothetical ideal viewer. because that means he's reading all the tags too#hi michael! ur the best :)#scheduling this for saturday at noon (it is currently friday at 4:30 am)#i hope i get the chance to write the next one (about that 2D platformer tutorial!) before like. monday.#god knows i'm not doing my homework lmaooo#when's my next therapy appointment?#that's crazy deep lore we can't get into that on post 2 (honestly post 1)#but it's okay because nobody reads the tags#and that's not even considering that nobody is ever gonna read this post. ever.#besides michael.#but michael knows all about that ;)#or maybe he doesn't... and it's a sexy mystery?#my my i am such an enigma#okay fuck i can't keep adding tags i need to sleep#i really hope tags are collapsed by default or michael's timeline is gonna be in shambles
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I will be forever grateful i can be on this new med. it's one a lot of folks also need and can struggle to have access to! It's important i be on it, especially if i start doing any vid collabs
(some of which, really, all of which, i unfortunately actually need to cancel that were in the preplanning stages, bc the election results have me wanting to wait and see how the general atmosphere of the country is before i agree to meet up with anyone. I feel bad for cancelling, but also i just can't know for sure how safe things are/might be going forward and I'd rather avoid the potential of. ya know. various not great things that could happen at a meet up, tho i would certainly hope they wouldn't. i don't feel like actually addressing them rn, u guys know what i mean)
That said, if the truvada initial side effects could fuck off asap would be so lovely. three weeks at worst, then they should be gone/much better or so i am told. really hope that's true bc losing my mornings to being dizzy and nauseous is Not Working for me lmao. im on week two, and now understand why my new doc said to call if i needed any 'cheerleading' and support to get thru the side effects, bc apparently she's done that for several ppl to make sure they actually make it thru the three weeks and keep on it (lovely of her!!)
#text post#not going to get into the other painful smack of this morning#suffice to say that medicaid does not in fact fully cover vocal therapy/training for trans ppl#even if ur docs feel incredibly certain it is#if i was making a decent bit over minimum wage at consistent hours and already had my current debts paid off mostly#then I'd happily consider paying the chunk Medicaid won't cover but as of now#it would literally be basically two paychecks if not three to cover the estimate for this first visit#and that's only if the poll would have us polling every week like we did before the election#otherwise we're guesstimating it would be upwards of 4 paychecks to cover it#I'm actually gonna get into in here bc nobody reads all my tag essays (fair valid and correct)#im really sad abt this. my voice gets me clocked a lot and while i can mostly handle like. visually being clocked#my voice giving me away genuinely makes me feel a pain in my chest. i can't get my customer service voice to go lower yet#and even if it's my usual voice I've made minimal progress on my own self done vocal study stuff#so like. no one knows how high it was compared to how it is now tho so no one actually hears it as anything near deep#which it isn't but like. there's been a slightly barely there drop of it per at least a couple ppl in my life#i was probably going to be able to learn how to sing again and find my new range. I'd fix my customer service voice#even if it would only ever be a teeny bit lower than how it is now. it would be lovely#im not gonna get too down tho bc someday hopefully I'll be able to make it happen/afford it#and for now...im doing the bad thing of not cancelling the appt yet#i will bc they're booking out for months and it isn't right of me to take a spot i know i can't keep#but. let me pretend i can for another day or two. maybe until monday. then I'll call or msg them on mychart#and let them know i just don't have the funds rn tho i do deeply appreciate that Medicaid at least pays part of it#im just not at a point where i can cover the rest but that I'll reschedule/have a new referral sent whenever that changes#...and hopefully things in this country will be of such a state that such care is still available to ppl like me.#but that's all we're saying on that bc im already having a pathetic little cry over this#(im fine the med side effects have me crying over everything lol i see a sad commercial and Instant Tears like someone died lmaooo)
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they rejected my application :(
#i mean i knew that they were going to. i literally do not have the degree they want#but sometimes it feels as if people in this field don't take me seriously because im young lol#like they assume that my experience just Does Not Apply because im not in my 40s#its fine. i never told anyone irl i applied for the job so i don't have to worry about that (ty past me) (i almost said it like 10 times)#when the time comes for me to REALLY start job hunting ill start taking rejections more personally but this was a good experience i think#them giving me a rejection at all and not just ghosting me was actually a huge relief tbh#am i supposed to respond to the rejection email? i guess i will?#dont burn your bridges etc#it feels a little weird saying ty for the opportunity when they didn't even interview me#but this whole corporate bullshit is just empty tradition at this point so whatever#anyway the GOOD news is that my really big name reference told my current boss (as a joke but still) that he wanted to steal me from her#he works for the state which would be an INCREDIBLE opportunity if he was in any way serious#so when the time comes ill be casually mentioning to him that im job hunting and we'll see where it goes#literally every conference ive been to people know his name and ask where he is so im hoping he will have enough pull to let a fresh grad in#two different people (both also rather big names in the field) have told me that he thinks really highly of me#and while working with him was a little bit like pulling teeth i don't really have the option to be choosy rn lol#anyways. im disappointed but not surprised#it was a remote position too :( oh well
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Grump and not so grump (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Lol#Happy to be the happy sona! Of course ♪#I fiiiinally got a haircut again yaaaay#Actually all the Reds did! We all went to the local barber and they do such lovely work <3#We got our hair cut on smol's birthday and we're all adorable!#It's really nice now that it's out of my eyes and off my neck - smol's is directly in her eyes tho lol#As long as she's happy haha#Continuing the happies trend <3 This was doodled before the brain weirdness but I'm mostly back onto it :)#Got brain-work to do about it |P But better is good! I like better!!#And I like pleased <3#There was plenty to be pleased about! :D Good dreams and good conversation and games and ah <3 Happies <3#Poor Charm gets none of the above! Haha poor lad ♪#The TVAU grump was just a spacefiller so not much more to that#She is cute tho even when she's grumpy#And then the Kaiein thing lol - so I mentioned a bit back about going to meet with one of Kaiein's ''inspiration sources'' ahem ahem#It's the same as before - they're honestly quite ineffectual once you get right down to it#I read basically everything they do in bad faith because there's no established trust - and also I don't care if they're trying to insult me#If they're trying to connect it's sad - if they're trying to be mean it's pathetic - which I mean? Good?? Lol#Them not having power over me in themself is a good thing I'm glad that's where I am currently#Basically they got me a how-to book on digital art - with an emphasis on Photoshop#I know SAI is a lesser-known program but they were the one who helped me buy it - they've probably forgotten#Maaahh it doesn't matter - not even into Evil Time about it it's just so nothing pff#Someday they'll learn that giving gifts isn't the be-all end-all to making friends. I know I would've preferred nothing :P#I'm just happy to be confident enough where I am that while I don't like it - it doesn't actually do anything to me lol#It's a better place to be :)
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hey!! artist friends!! i'd really like to dive into trying to improve my art, particularly when it comes to drawing things that aren't just direct redraws of screenshots.
i especially need help with things like drawing complex poses, side profiles, perspective etc. but i also need help with figuring out shading / lighting because i've procrastinated on learning how that works for way too long lol.
( any drawings of mine that are well-shaded are screenshot redraws, so i had a direct ref for where to put the shadows )
if anyone can direct me to any (preferably free) resources for any of these things, or give me tips that worked for you, please let me know!! you can reblog / reply to this post or send me an ask.
#color rambles | personal#art#artist#artists on tumblr#art advice#seeking art advice#i'm actually in kind of an art block hole atm but i think part of it is that i'm in that part of the cycle where i've noticed flaws-#but haven't figured out how to improve them yet#i've unfortunately fallen a little into the trap of seeing art i like and being like 'i want to draw like that!' and then getting sad#because i don't know how lol#i HAVE improved a lot though. i draw things now i never would've been able to draw a few years ago#but i'm at the point where i've like. almost outgrown my current skill level??? i'm looking at it and thinking 'i need to improve on this'
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WIP Wednesday
So okay I don't know if this is like...a cool thing to do or not, but there's a fic I claimed from the 2022 kink meme list (I couldn't resist, in large part because Tales From Jianghu Shopping Center was listed by the prompter as one of their inspirations for the prompt) that I'm not sure when I'll actually finish writing but I have started it and I'd like to at least acknowledge that I'm doing it even if the prompter won't see this. But the prompt is something along the lines of anything highly specific and niche (like my strip mall AU lol), and I actually happen to have a growing little stockpile of very very niche knowledge about my chosen professional field, which is ceramics! I specialize in wheel-throwing (though I'm also a...passable hand at plaster mold-making/slip casting and handbuilding, I just don't enjoy them nearly as much) so I've started a little something from Lan Wangji's point of view that's a love letter to throwing ♥
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As is tradition, Lan Wangji works in porcelain.
The Lan family have been respected masters of porcelain for centuries, generations stretching back, back, back nearly to the beginning of the imperial kiln production in Jingdezhen. They once produced the enormous pots that adorned emperors’ palaces – there are (very distant) cousins of his in Jingdezhen who still do so for wealthy patrons.
It’s easy to forget such a background when he enters his personal studio on the other side of the world and flicks on the lights to begin the day’s routines. It’s precisely what he wants – a quiet life like this, simple and unassuming, is much more suited to his desire than the weight of tradition that could otherwise press him and his work down into something he would never want to be.
Not that he deviates very far from tradition anyway, but it’s the principle of the thing. Lan Wangji takes quiet pleasure in simplicity, in function that is beautiful in its hard-won mastery. There are very few non-traditional ways to accomplish this that he’s interested in, but he likes having the option should he want to take it.
Lan Wangji had learned to throw at his uncle’s knee as soon as it was possible to do so. He has continued to do so since childhood with a single-mindedness that once surprised even his uncle. All he’d ever wanted to do was to sit at the wheel for hours and hours on end, only pausing to warm the water in his bowl with a fresh influx from the kettle and to transfer full wareboards (once he was strong enough) to the drying racks in the corner of his uncle’s studio.
Lan Wangji has always struggled to find the words to convey how integral the motion of the wheel and the smooth slip of clay through his finger and against his palms is to feeling like he fits into his skin properly, but his family seems to understand just the same.
Yesterday, as the sun was westering, Lan Wangji had weighed up a few bags of fresh porcelain. The lumps are waiting for him now, tumbled together under their protective sheets of plastic, ready to be molded and shaped by hands and hypnotic motion. There’s enough of a chill in the studio this time of year that there isn’t any condensation on the plastic when he lifts it, so he folds it away neatly and settles into the easy rhythm of wedging his clay to prepare it for the wheel.
There is, in the middle of the studio, a sturdy butcher’s block workbench. He built it himself right there in the studio, the first piece of furniture that had filled the space even before he’d purchased his Shimpo wheel. It’s very likely too heavy to lift – it’s certainly too big to ever get through the door – but he has no intention of ever leaving this studio to begin another, so it suits his purposes just fine.
Wedging the clay on this sturdy, hip-height table is nearly as meditative a process as all the rest of it. A bit more of a workout than sitting at the wheel, but it’s a good way to warm up in the morning, his muscles well accustomed to the push-turn-push-turn-push-turn of spiral wedging that it’s gone beyond second nature, it simply is. His mind wanders pleasantly as he watches the misshapen lumps of pure porcelain become smooth and rounded beneath his palms. Perhaps he’ll spend the day on bowls. They’re quick and simple, suited to his mood today, and he’ll have plenty of them done by lunch when he already knows his typical solitary routine will be interrupted (and can therefore plan for it so far in advance).
The sun is up properly by the time Lan Wangji finishes his wedging, and once he’s transferred the first batch of prepared clay to the wheel he pauses to stand in the open doorway and look out over the garden that sits between his studio and his home. The grass and the flowers are glittering fresh and dewy in the sunlight as he rolls his shoulders, stretches out his back in preparation to be seated for long hours.
When he returns, the wheel welcomes him, familiar and comforting. He fills an old bird seed bucket with warm water from the tap and arranges the small mirror at the back of the wheel’s tray to the perfect angle to watch his own hands before he settles in and takes a deep breath, sleeves rolled up and apron cinched comfortably tight around his waist as an unnecessary reminder to keep his back as straight as he can while he works.
The first ball of porcelain hits the perfect bullseye of the wheelhead and Lan Wangji leans in to begin centering, the porcelain buttery soft where it runs under his hands. Porcelain, he knows, is notorious for being difficult to work with, particularly for beginners. This far into his career, it’s simply polite and responsive to each confident press of his palms. He cones it first, hands curled around it to coax it in and up; presses it down again with the flat of his hand, every movement focused on the centerpoint of the wheel gliding silently through magnet-powered rotations.
Up.
Down again.
Up.
Down.
Push.
Press.
Lan Wangji loves every part of the throwing process for what it is, but if he were to have to choose only one, this would be his favorite: the moment he can feel the clay running smoothly, perfectly centered the whole way through and ready to become whatever he will tell it to be, the possibilities – for this moment – endless.
#the untamed fanfic#WIP Wednesday#Lan Wangji#If I'm not mistaken the name of the prompt in the list is 'Bring Your Yiling Laozu To Work Day' or something to that effect#and I do plan on WWX showing up later in a way that's inspired by some of my friends in the studio#who work MUCH more chaotically than I do#(ie one of them currently goes mudlarking and digging for wild clay then brings it all in to chuck it in the kiln just to see what happens)#the other one can't remember anything that they do because they take no notes and treat highly precise chemical processes like they're#still a chef adding a dash of this and a dash of that to whatever's in their mixing bowl#and then there's me with my extensive notes and thoroughly researched glazes and all being like#'.....sometimes I don't mind if my glaze ingredients are a gram or two off'#anyway for anyone who didn't know I'm a ceramicist and it's one of my special interests lol#my profile picture and header images across both my blogs are photos of my current work#oh and the Shimpo wheel?????? IT'S A FUCKIN DREAM#the museum I sometimes teach workshops at borrowed one from a different college than mine in town and it was just#so fuckin NICE. It's DEAD SILENT and smooth as silk#and the pedal stays where you put it so if you're doing something large scale you can stand up to get your arm down in it#without having to balance on one foot or sacrifice speed or anything#it was like heaven#it's also like 4k to buy new so LOL NOPE
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