#i /do/ know devon's actually but that's because he told me

[aparticularbandit]

i feel like i should note.  i’m writing a claire/devon t4t fic. and there’s this thing in there about names and a running thing about devon having trouble picking his name (vs. claire, who heard her name once and knew it was hers).

gender is a complicated thing for me.  i do not identify as trans, although technically i fall under the banner.

both of these have been my experiences with names.

i play around with names a lot personally - i’m bandit here, and i really like being bandit, and it has a lot of sentimental meaning to me because i’ve been using it, in one form or another, off and on for over half of my life - but i’ve also used a lot of other names, too, trying them on to see if they fit or not.

but i also - the name i’ve started using (both online and off) when i want to be perceived as most masculine, i remember when and where i was for that one.  i was sitting in a chinese restaurant waiting for my to-go order to be done, and i remember thinking that name, and it was mine, and it was my name, and it was who i was - if i wanted to go in that direction.

so like.  the running thing with devon might feel like a really bad, off-color joke.

it’s not.  i mean.  it is also kind of a joke.

but it is also my experience with names and trying them on to see if they fit.

[thatone16216]

Kwon Jae-Sung x fem!Larusso!reader

What happens when the cocky, bad-boy captain of the Cobra Kai team meets Daniel Larusso's daughter?

*Notes, since Kwon is actually 20 apparently(?) reader is going to be 18. So, technically a year older than the rest of the team, Kwon will also not try to make Robby jealous, Yoon can do that

I thought I would have no problem keeping my promise to focus on the Sekai Tekai rather than on guys, even though I'm not even officially competing. I'm here as a backup fighter in case of any injuries, but I knew that all my focus went out the window with the arrival of the Cobra Kai team.

One look at that dangerous smirk and messy hair, and I was smitten.

He turned toward me, flashing me a smirk and wink, and I'm so distracted that I don't even register the fact that Tory is standing next to him until my sister, Sam, elbows me in the ribs. I turn in her direction, and she frowns at me. "He's the enemy," she hisses.

"Well, 'the enemy' is hot," I hiss back. I feel a soft smack on my head and notice my dad giving me a look. He shakes his head, and I sigh, crossing my arms and turning back to face the announcer.

I have the feeling he's on the "forbidden to breathe the same air as me" list. Good thing I have never listened to that list once in my eighteen years of life.

As we file out, I lock eyes once more with the Cobra Captain, and this time return his smirk.

I have the feeling he's going to make this tournament interesting...

~~~~~

As we wait in the lobby to check in, Devon and I chat until she focuses on something over my shoulder. "Captain Cobra is coming this way," she observes. I turn, despite my better judgement, and lock eyes with him as he makes his way to where the two of us are standing, leaving the rest of his team to taunt mine.

"Hi," I say, watching him approach. I wonder briefly if he's always smirking, because that's what he appears to be doing right this second. "Hey," he says back. He stops in front of me. "You must be, [Name]." My eyes narrow suspiciously and he raises his hands in a surrender pose as he chuckles. "Relax, I'm not stalking you. You and Robby are all Tory talks about. I've seen a million pictures of you. It's nice to finally meet the person I've heard so much about."

I nod, raising a brow at him. "So, am I going to learn your name or am I still supposed to call you 'Captain Cobra'? It's kind of a mouthful if I'm being honest." His smirk seems to turn into a slightly real smile, as he laughs. "I'm Kwon. Kwon Jae-Sung. Future Sekai Tekai champion." I nod, acting impressed. "I see. And what makes you so sure?" I ask him teasingly. He straightens up, eyes holding a real sense of pride as he gives me a cocky, though fully real, smile.

"I'm the best fighter here. I know it, my team knows it, everybody knows it. I fight mean and dirty, giving me an edge over my opponents." I study him closely as he talks about how he's the best. He truly believes what he is saying, and I actually kind of believe him as well. Tori told me about Master Kim when she was training at Cobra Kai, and after meeting her during the fight at the dojo, I believe that her students are put through the damn ringer. He doesn't seem the type to follow directions easily, though. More the opposite.

Before I can keep the conversation going, Devon taps my shoulder. "Incoming, sister," she whispers. I nod, turning back to Kwon. "I have to go. I'm sorry. Good luck, though!" I say, holding out my hand for him to shake. Kwon takes it. "I look forward to seeing you fight," he says back to me. Before I can tell him I'm just a backup, he's gone back to his team.

"What did he want?" Sam asks as she approaches, leveling a nasty look in his direction. I shrug, watching he and his team walk away. "Just to introduce himself. I guess Tory talks about me a lot," I say. Sam scoffs. "He's just trying to get in your head. Don't let him," she says. I roll my eyes. "I'm not even competing, so I don't know why he'd be trying to get in my head," I observe, hoping my sister would understand how stupid she's being. Her next sentence tells me everything I need to know about her current mindset. "You're my sister, though, and the daughter of one of our senseis. If he's in your head, it's to use you to get to us," she explains as though I'm dumb. I sigh as I follow her to our room.

She's changed a lot over the past two years, but at the same time, she hasn't changed a bit.

~~~~~

I roll my eyes with the rest of my team as the captains are coddled and treated like kings while the rest of us just stand around and watch. I notice one of them checking out Robby and narrow my eyes. She better not even think about making a move on my best friend's boyfriend. She'll be lucky if I kill her before Tory does.

I notice Kwon smiling at me instead of the camera as the picture is taken. When Tory leaves, he walks over to me. "Hey," he greets. Before I can respond, my sister marches over and drags me away. "Don't talk to her!" She snaps. I give Kwon an apologetic wave as I leave, him flashing a small smile in return.

I briefly wonder if he ever frowns, because he seems like the type of person to always be smiling. Even when he's angry. I then wonder briefly how hot he is when he's angry.

~~~~~

"You're a dumbass, Robby," I sigh, watching the Cobra Kais celebrate getting a new room. Robby says nothing, only turning around and leaving, and the rest of the team follows him. As I turn to leave, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I pull it out, seeing a text from an unknown number.

Unknown - It's Kwon. Tory gave me your number. I thought it would be easier to talk without getting interrupted this way.

I smile to myself, wondering if he actually enjoys talking to me.

[Name] - Yeah, this works. Especially because I've been told that you're only speaking with me to get in my head

Kwon - Well, you've figured me out. Tell me, is it working?

[Name] - Not really if I'm being honest. Besides, I'm just a backup anyway. If you want to get in anyone's head, it would be my sister's. She's team captain, after all

Kwon - It's hard to tell over text, but you seem disappointed.

I pause briefly reading that. Am I disappointed? I guess I am. Sam has always been the favorite. Even though I'm the oldest, I've never been the most behaved child. Especially not when I'd joined Cobra Kai behind my father's back. Sam has always been the perfect angel, and my parents, my father especially, have always shown their favoritism, even without realizing it. The captain's thing was no different, along with the team tryouts.

[Name] - if I'm being honest? a little

Kwon - If you want to talk, you could always come to my room tonight.

I pause, a smirk on my face as I text him back.

[Name] - this sounds suspiciously like a hookup offer?

Kwon - That wasn't really my intention.

I frown slightly in disappointment, hoping I didn't scare him off, when my phone buzzes again.

Kwon - I wouldn't object to it, though.

I laugh as I reply to him.

[Name] - I'll be there at 11:00. Keep it in your pants

~~~~~

Sneaking out was harder than I thought it would be. I feigned wanting to take a midnight stroll to get over my lack of sleep because my roommates were still up. Devon wouldn't judge me, given the fact that she realizes that a petty rivalry is stupid, but Sam would flip out and most likely tell our father if I snuck out to meet up with a boy. Especially the Cobra Kai captain.

I knock on the door, looking around wearily. I saw Robby walking around as well as I was leaving, and I prayed he didn't return too soon. As soon as Kwon opened the door, I stepped in, quickly closing it behind me. "Make yourself at home," he grumbles. I giggle. "I'm sorry, I just am trying to avoid my teammate who is also wandering around right this second." He laughs, and sits on one of the beds, while I set up camp on the other. I look at the mountain of pillows on his bed, noting that the bed I'm on has no pillows.

I smirk at them. "So, you like pillows?" I ask. He looks confused until he notices the mountain. "They're comfy," he defends. I laugh at him and lay on the bed, facing him on his. "Why'd you invite me here?" I question. He shrugs. "Just to talk. Why aren't you competing?" I shrug, turning away from him to look up at the ceiling. "I'm not good enough."

He scoffs. "I don't believe that." I shrug again. "It's true. I'm not good enough in my father's eyes, and neither is my brother. Sam is the golden child. That's why she's captain. She would have been captain whether or not Tory stayed on the team. I'm not competing because I had strep on the days of the tryouts for the team. As a consolation prize, I was allowed to come here as a replacement in case someone got hurt or sick." I roll my eyes. "It wouldn't have mattered anyway. When it comes to Sam, everyone seems to worship her. My parents only just started acknowledging my brother's existence, and for me, I've always been the sneaky disappointment."

I sit up, training my eyes outside the window. At Kwon's scoff of disbelief, I turn to him. "It's true. They're most disappointed in the fact that I had joined Cobra Kai, and that I chose to remain there during the 'Karate War'. I was there until Eli chose to leave, and I left too."

Kwon nods along to what I'm saying, and he's such a good listener that I find myself telling him even more of the story. "When I was in Cobra Kai, I was a different person. My dad had taught me and Sam Karate from a young age, but I liked the Cobra Kai style better. I thought the offense was more fun than the defense, and I started fighting that way. I also fought dirty. My dad also didn't like the amount of respect I had for his high school bully, so that was another reason he was disappointed in me. The biggest reason he was disappointed, though, was because I wasn't like Sam. I didn't follow hi directions mindlessly, I didn't make everyone's problems my business, and I, most importantly, didn't like the 'right guys'. The only guy I've ever dated was Eli, and that ended because we both knew that there was no way he'd ever be able to settle for anyone who wasn't Moon."

I stare at the city outside of Kwon's window, and I feel the bed move as he sits beside me. "I think that's stupid," he says. "You should be competing while you're here. Your entire team is training for this, yet you aren't able to even attempt to show people what you're made of. You should rejoin Cobra Kai. Master Kim would let you."

I laugh. "Thanks, but no thanks. I can't do that to my team, and I'd rather watch this tournament anyway. Besides, I can't cheer you on if I'm competing at the same time now, can I?"

~~~~~

The next morning, I quietly sneak back into the room. My sister is still asleep, but Devon comes out of the bathroom as I shut the door. "Where were you?" She asks. I glance over at my sister before pulling out my phone. I quickly type Kwon into a text before showing it to her. She raises a brow, and I quickly shake my head. "Not like that," I quickly reassure her. She laughs. "Relax. I was just going to say you're moving a little fast is all," she tells me. I smile at her before my sister stirring distracts us.

"Good morning, guys," she says, yawning. We return our good mornings as we begin to get ready for the day. As Sam gets in the shower, my phone buzzes. I smile as I read Kwon's text.

Kwon - We should get together again tonight.

Devon shoots me a look as I smile at the text. "Moving a little fast, are we?" she snarks. I stick my tongue out as I throw a pillow at her. "Shut up," I say. She laughs as she dodges the pillow. "Have him actually take you out today or something," she suggests. "I'll vouch for you." I nod. "Okay," I decide.

[Name] - How opposed are you to missing practice today?

Kwon - Depends on the reason?

[Name] - I'm bored. I don't want to watch my team practice

Kwon - I don't know. What's in it for me?

[Name] - Theres a beach we could spar on?

Kwon - 10:00?

[Name] - Sounds good

~~~~~

The first time we got together went so well that we've decided to do it every day. Early in the morning, we get together and train, whether it be a sparring session, jog, or weightlifting at a gym, we've been getting together regularly. Today, it's sparring on the beach again. Most days it only lasts about two hours, but today we both have the day off, so we'll be spending it together.

I adjust the workout clothes I'm wearing. I'm in shorts and a (tank/crop) top because I thought it would be warmer today, but right now, near the water, I'm freezing. I settled on my cutest outfit, mostly to impress Kwon. I hear a voice call out to me and I turn and smile as he approaches. "Ready?" he asks me. I nod, and he pulls off his jacket, revealing a rather tight compression shirt with his sweats. I try, and fail, not to stare too hard at the abs I see through the shirt.

As soon as we bow to each other, he runs at me, forcing me to block and dodge his attacks. I back away from him as he relentlessly moves forward, kicking and punching everywhere he could. As I defend, I watch his movements carefully. Every fighter has a flaw in their movements. It could be a past injury, a small habit they never trained away, or, in Kwon's case, a false sense of security. He keeps his arms lower than he should. Not by much, but enough for someone who knows what they're doing to pick up on it. He focuses his efforts more on throwing fast and powerful combinations than he does on his defenses, because he's confident in his speed. While his speed is impressive, he's still open to an attack.

I use this against him, dodging his next kick and aiming a punch at his exposed liver. I'm not going to actually hit it that hard, due to the fact that it can cause permanent damage, but I do hit it hard enough for him to stop. He falls to the ground, in pain and gasping for breath, and I quickly run over to him. "Are you okay?" I ask him, helping him sit up. He laughs, breathlessly. "Yeah, just winded."

The two of us sit and chat, watching the waves crash on the beach for the rest of the day. As night approaches, I shiver, getting slightly chilly. Kwon notices, wrapping his jacket around my shoulders and shifts closer to me, making me warmer. "So, should we consider this our first date?" Kwon asks as we watch the sun setting. I look at him and he's already looking at me. "We've barely known each other a week?" I respond. He shrugs, leaning back. "And?" He questions, staring up at me. I scoff. "We barely know anything about each other!" I protest, trying not to smile. He's squinting up at me and crinkling his nose while doing so, and I have to look away to avoid giving in.

"Tory would tell me about you and Robby all the time, and she showed me a lot of pictures of you. Everything you've told me, like your favorite color and favorite TV show, Tory has talked about. I know all of the surface level stuff about you, like the fact that you hate coconut and people have to hide M&M's from you because otherwise you won't stop eating them. You sounded so interesting that I couldn't not talk to you that first day here. After that, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Your sister accuses me of trying to get in your head, but I can't seem to get you out of mine."

The two of us are silent after his confession, until I finally get the courage to look him in the eyes. "If you promise to take me on a real first date tomorrow, no training involved, I might consider it," I say. His smile lights up his whole face. "Deal," he agrees.

~~~~~

I nod at Devon as I walk out the door, passing through the hall. I make it to the lobby, spotting Kwon waiting by the door. As he waves to me and I begin to walk over, a person steps into my path. I bump into Miguel, who looks at me, annoyance on his face. "Hey, [Name]," He greets. I nod at him. "Hey, Miguel." I try to step around him, but he starts talking to me. I lock eyes with Kwon, who taps his watch he's wearing. I shrug helplessly and Miguel launches into a rant about Robby being a horrible captain and how he's always so distracted. I nod along, impatiently before snapping.

"Why don't you just talk to him?" I finally huff. "Look, I'm late to meet someone, so I'll see you later." I quickly make my way out the door of the lobby before he can ask who I'm meeting.

I walk to Kwon, who's now waiting for me outside. "It's about time," he grumbles. I smile at his pout. "I was trying to leave, but he was complaining about his stepbrother," I say. He rolls his eyes. "He couldn't have complained farther away from you?" He asks, grabbing my hand. As he laces his fingers through mine, I smile up at him. "Aww, are you jealous?" I ask, starting to tease him. He frowns down at me and looks away, a blush staining his face red. "No," he mumbles. I giggle, letting him lead me away from the hotel.

~~~~~

We decided to go to the boardwalk, which is where we spent our day. We ate food, played games, and went on every ride at the park, and we were walking around again when I squealed and grabbed his hand. "Look at that panda!" I pull him closer to the game booth where there is a huge giant panda stuffed animal hanging from the top of it.

Kwon chuckles at my enthusiasm and pays the booth attendant. Kwon needs to knock down every clown on the little shelf to win the panda. On Kwon's first try, he knocked down ten of them. He played again and knocked down eleven. The third time, he also got eleven, despite hitting the clown dead center. Just as I'm about to tell Kwon it's a scam and to just leave, he pays again, and this time whips the ball so hard at that clown that it finally does fall over. He turns to the booth attendant. "Panda. Now." The guy does as he's told and hand's me the giant panda. I smile up at Kwon as he looks down at me. He looks like he wants to say something but gets distracted as he looks up. "The only thing we haven't done yet is the Ferris Wheel," he says.

I take his hand. "Then let's go!"

As we pay and get on the ride, we stare out over the city. I shiver as we get closer to the top, because the cold air hit me. Kwon chuckles, draping his jacket over me again. "At this rate, I should just let you keep it," he says. As I laugh and face him, he stares at me. "It looks even better on you than it does on me," he notes. I feel the blush on my cheeks, despite the chilly air, as his face gets closer. As his breath hits my cheeks, I feel my eyes flutter shut and I lean forward to close the distance.

He kisses me, softly at first, but slowly turning hotter and more passionate as it continues. My hands slide into his hair, just as soft as I'd imagined it'd be, as he pulls me closer by my waist. The fact that we're on the Ferris Wheel becomes forgotten until we reach the bottom, and the ride operator clears his throat.

The two of us get off the ride, me embarrassed and Kwon satisfied, and begin to walk back to the hotel. I'm clutching my gigantic panda on my right side and Kwon's hand on my left side, and as he swings our arms back and forth and twirls me around in the moonlight, I silently wish this moment would last forever.

Neither of us knew how late it was as we walked back into the hotel, but since we were greeted by my angry father and sister, and one very confused Johnny Lawrence, I would assume it was very late.

"Where have you been?" Dad begins to question. I shrug sheepishly. "The boardwalk?" I answer. Dad holds up his phone. "Do you have any idea what time it is? Why didn't you answer your phone?" He asks. I look at my phone and wouldn't you know? Fifteen missed calls and over one hundred unread messages. "Oops. My phone was on silent, not vibrate. That's my bad."

Dad begins to get angry, when Sam opens her mouth. "Why were you with him? You know he's our enemy!" She glares at Kwon, who until this point has been standing silently beside me. It's now that my dad seems to fully register who he is and, more importantly, who's jacket I'm wearing.

"Is that a Cobra Kai jacket? And you went out, alone, on a date, with one of their Captains?" I nod, handing the bear to Kwon. "Yeah, and I had an excellent time. He's quite the gentleman, you know. Held doors for me, walked on the side of the sidewalk with traffic, you know, gentleman things." Dad stalks closer. "We're not talking about this here. Give him the jacket back and say goodbye. You're not allowed to speak with him." I stay put, crossing my arms. "That's not fair!" I exclaim. "Cobra Kai isn't your enemy, Kreese is. So why can't I just go on a date with a nice boy who just happens to be from that dojo? I mean, Tory willingly joined the dojo, and you are still being perfectly nice and civil to her! Kwon's just a normal teenager who had an opportunity to succeed and took it!"

"It goes against everything Miyagi-Do stands for," Dad says. I throw my hands up in frustration. "Miyagi-Do this! Miyagi-Do that! All you ever do is talk about Miyagi-Do! Sensei Lawrence tries to teach us something, you argue against it because it's not the "Miyagi-Do way". Do you know how ridiculous you sound? And I can't date a boy because he happens to attend a dojo run by the guy who taught your high school bully how to fight? No offense, Sensei Lawrence."

Johnny waves it off. "No big deal, kid. Listen Daniel, maybe she's got a point." Dad turns to him. "Does she? Does she have a point? Get back to me when your daughter goes on a date with a cocky asshole who is being taught by a monster, and you'll understand how I feel." Johnny steps closer. "Listen to me man, I was the cocky asshole. This guy, he's not it. You're letting your feelings about Kreese affect your judgement and you're making horrible decisions. Just let the girl go on a few dates and be happy. She's not competing anyway, which you already know how I feel about that, so what's the harm in letting her date the guy?"

Dad glares at all of us before taking a breath. "We'll talk about it in the morning. Go to bed." With that, he climbs upstairs and goes to his room. Johnny sighs and waves at all of us before following after him, leaving me, Sam, and Kwon alone.

"How could you do this to us?" Sam asks, tearfully. Footsteps sound and the rest of my friends appear in the lobby. "We heard yelling," Hawk says. Demetri nods. "I tried telling everyone it was none of our business, but you see how well that worked out." he gestures to the other Miyagi-Do students. Miguel wraps his arm around Sam. "She's right. How could you betray us like this?" He asks angrily. I open my mouth, but Kwon finally speaks. "Betray you? She hasn't done anything to betray you, although listening to you people speaking, it's a miracle for you guys she hasn't. She doesn't even get to train with you people. She was brought here as a backup, but instead of letting her be one, you flew another person in from the states instead. I offered her the chance to join Cobra Kai, and she declined, saying that she couldn't do that to you guys."

The whole team except Kenny and Devon glare at him as he speaks, and I roll my eyes. Kwon then glares back at all of them. "You all love Tory so much, even though she joined Cobra Kai. Your captain would still be dating her if she didn't break up with him, so why the hell is me dating [Name] such a horrible crime?"

My team doesn't have an answer, so Kwon just scoffs. "Pathetic, all of you. Let's go, [Name]." He gently takes my hand and pulls me to the stairs, leading me to his room.

"You can stay with me tonight," he says. "I'm sure I have a shirt that you can borrow." I smile gratefully at him, trying not to think about the betrayed faces of my friends and father.

When we get to the room, Kwon tosses me a shirt before grabbing a handful of clothes and walking to the bathroom. "I'm just going to shower really quick," he says. "Okay," I respond, scrolling through social media. I like one of Yasmine's selfies, noting that she looks like she's finally getting better from the breakup. I still can't believe Demetri cheated on her. She truly did care about him, and I could tell it hurt her a lot. I like a post on Aisha's Instagram as well as I change out of my dress/jumper and into the shirt. It's long enough that it fits like a dress, ending just past my thigh. Aisha seems to be doing well at her new school, and I'm really happy for her, even if I do miss her.

I get a phone call from my mom. I sigh before answering. "Hey, mom!" I say, cheerfully. She sighs. "I just got off the phone with your father," she says. I slump. Of course she did.

"Is he anything like the Cobra Kais were when they were in the Valley?" She asks. "No. Aside from being a little cocky, he's not aggressive without reason." Mom sighs in relief. "Then I don't think you really need to listen to your father on this one. I trust your judgement, and even if it only lasts through Barcelona, at least you'll have a time with him you'll enjoy." I smile widely at him as he comes into the room. "Thank you, Mom," I say, happily. She laughs. "Okay. I'll let you sleep now. Love you, bye." She hangs up on me.

Kwon flops onto the bed next to me, only wearing a pair of sweatpants. He wraps his arms around me as he nuzzles his face into my neck. I pet his hair as he sighs into me. "I'm sorry about your team," he mumbles. I shrug, glad he can't see my face. "It's okay. I'm not sure what I expected from them. I thought they'd be a little kinder to you, but whatever. You're only the first guy I've actually liked since my ex, and even then, I didn't like him nearly as much."

Kwon looks up at me with a smile. "Yeah?" He asks, leaning closer. "Yeah," I say, closing the gap. We share soft kisses throughout the night, mostly just staying up and talking, enjoying each other's company as we slowly drift off.

As I lay in bed, staring out the window, I savor the feeling of Kwon's arms around me, his breath warm on my neck as he sleeps. In this moment, I don't care about the tournament, what my team thinks, or what could happen tomorrow, all I care about it the boy wrapped around me, who listened to my friend talk about me and decided that he needed to meet me. The boy who won me a panda and kissed me on the Ferris Wheel.

The cocky little asshole who managed to steal my heart. Little bastard.

[copperbadge]

how did u psych urself up to go to therapy? my executive function has been awol for like 2 years and it's gotten to the point where it's wrecking my ability to do anything. i'm scared to waste a bunch of time and money going and getting told i'm just lazy or that the problem is just me

Happy to talk about that! But this is really two issues, so I gotta do a fly-by real first on "scared of getting told I'm just lazy". :D

It sounds to me like you're aware intellectually that laziness isn't the issue. You know this is an executive function issue and not a personal flaw, but I definitely get that it's hard to internalize that. So I'm going to drop links here to some discussion of "laziness":

How do you know you're not just lazy? (ask sent to me -- it's long, but you can skim for the laziness bits if you want.)

Lack of motivation means you are avoiding pain (second ask in response to the first)

Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price

These are essentially my proofs when I want to remind you that laziness is a label that stigmatizes an innate behavior -- inability to act is real, laziness is not. If a therapist tells you that you are lazy, and ESPECIALLY that you are the problem, you should fire that therapist. Don't even stay the rest of the session if you don't want to, just say "I see we are not compatible," and bounce. I don't think the odds are high that you'll encounter that, but on the off-chance that you do, that's a bright neon sign that they're a bad therapist.

In fact I would open with that pitch: "I'm struggling with executive function and the self-perception that I'm really just lazy. I need help with the actual executive function issues but also with how I view myself because of them." The therapist's response will tell you a lot about whether they'd be a good fit.

So with that out of the way...

I eased myself into therapy with the speed of a small child entering an extremely cold lake. It helped a lot that all of my therapy has been virtual via Zoom, so a lot of stuff that would have been a barrier, like going to the physical appointments, discomfort in a strange space, etc. were swept away.

I didn't even want to see a psychiatrist for my Adderall prescription, but I knew I needed help and medication seemed to be my best option, so with the assurances of several people that it wasn't therapy so much as mental health maintenance, I saw a psychiatrist. And he was lovely! (I just met with him yesterday to go over my next few months of scrip.) For a while that was all I did: talked every month to a kind person who asked specific and measurable questions about my mental health -- mood, sleep patterns, ability to work, hobbies -- without getting especially personal. I thought, okay, I can handle this, I can probably handle more, so I asked him for a recommendation for a therapist.

He looked at the network of independent practitioners he belonged to (Clarity Clinic Chicago, if you want an example of a good network) and found me a couple of options. I got extremely lucky to find someone I felt was appropriate for me right out of the gate, though some of that was also knowing what criteria I had: I wanted someone who explicitly stated they specialized in adult ADHD and disability, and who seemed like they were interested in addressing a whole person and not a single issue. When we met she seemed nice, wasn't pushy or judgey, was familiar with spoon theory and disability activism because she also has ADHD, and didn't blink (or ask overly invasive questions) when I said I was very uneasy about therapy because of past experience. She was comfortable with the ambiguity I brought -- I basically said "Look, I think this is something I need but I'm not entirely sure what my goals are yet, it's just I only recently found out I have ADHD and I am rethinking a lot of stuff," and she was like fine, let's rethink it together.

It still took me a long time to start talking about anything meaningful, but she handled the non-meaningful stuff as if it was serious and important, which helped. Admittedly I have really good insurance so I pay $20 a session for therapy, which also helps; it's pretty negligible in terms of health costs for me. I can afford to dawdle.

So, all that said...my path may not be an option for you, but I think it indicates the kinds of options you have. You don't have to jump into serious and heavily emotional processing first thing if you don't want to. You can shop around for therapists and you can drop any bad ones you encounter speedily, or if you find one you immediately like you can still spend time getting comfortable before dropping into the heavier stuff.

I would suggest that if you have a prescribing psych or doctor for any kind of mental health meds, ask them if they have a recommendation. If you don't have that, ask around people you know or believe have access to therapy and see what they think. If those aren't available to you or you're uncomfortable with that, I'd do a search for licensed therapist and your health insurance, or see if your workplace has an employee assistance program that can recommend you someone.

Good luck! I hope you get what you need. Lord knows I've been there.

[hearts4skywalker]

why don't you bring your girlfriend? // robby keene

materlist!!

summary: robby keene had always been cobra kai's top fighter. when kyler decides to throw a party, kenny and the others all bombard robby on why he doesn't bring his girlfriend to the party.

pairings: you and robby!!

warnings: pet names (baby), you're literally such cutie, fem prns, probably cringe, takes place end season 3 (except it doesn't really make timeline sense but for the sake of the one-shot bear with me), hawk and devon being cobra kai, it didn't not come out the way i wanted to so i might make another robby one-shot idk 🤷‍♀️

w/c: 1100

robby had been punching the dummy for what felt like hours. his knuckles hurt and had blisters all over them. nothing cobra kai's top fighter couldn't deal with, however. next to the brunette was tory. she had just finished nis sparing with kyler when she sat down to take a drink.

seeing everyone grabbing water, robby followed. he twisted the cap off of a plastic water bottle, flicking it into a corner to never be found again. robby wasn't one to chat during practice. he found it disrupting and the last thing he would want to do is upset silver or kreese. truth be told, the boy was terrified of his senseis.

"party at mine tonight. be there by 7 or i'll open the kegs without you guys." robby didn't have to look up from staring at his bloody knuckles to know who's voice it was. kyler's voice annoyed robby to no end. robby listened to the people who said they'd be there. tory spoke up. "keene, you going?"

robby shook his head. "can't make it." kyler's face went from being full of pride to slightly offended. "why not? you too good for your friends now?" kyler rolled his eyes. robby cocked an eyebrow, standing up and walking over to the group. "sorry man i told my girlfriend i'd come over after practice." tory looked surprised.

kenny's eyes widened. "wait, robby, you have a girlfriend? since when?" this was news to everyone. even though robby and y/n had been dating since before he was on the run last year, the two never told anyone. partly because they were both very private people and partly because y/n was scared of samantha larusso. "uh about a year and a half now." robby looked around the room, realizing his mistake.

"why don't you bring your girlfriend?" tory interrogated. it was a pretty solid idea. robby just didn't know if y/n was all that of a party person. it couldn't hurt to ask he supposed. "i'll ask her. but no promises we'll show." and with that, robby left to head over to his girlfriends.

robby softly knocked on y/n's front door, knowing she was home alone and he didn't want to scare her. y/n quickly opened the door. her face lit up when she saw that it was robby. she threw her arms around his neck, giving him the biggest hug she could.

"hey, baby, i have a huge question to ask." robby started. the two had been laying in y/n's bed for quite some time now. it was around 6, an hour before the party started. y/n hummed in response. robby sat up, subconsciously scooting y/n up so she was still laying on his legs. robby took a deep breath. "kylershavingapartytonightandimayhaveaccidentallyletitslipthatwe'vebeendatingforayearandnowtheywantmetobringyousoyoucanmeetthem." (kylers having a party tonight and i kinda let it slip that we've been dating for a year and now they want me to bring you so you can meet them)

y/n was taken back by how quickly he attempted to get that out. "sure, seems fun." y/n patted robby's leg reassuringly. "wait really?" robby pushed his hair back, a sign of relief escaping his legs. "really. it's been a year and i think it's time for me to meet them." y/n sat up, shrugging. "you're actually the best." robby smiled, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

an hour later the two had arrived at kyler's house, already hearing the music blasting from a few houses down. there weren't many people there, just the cobras. tory described it as a "inner circle only" kind of thing. robby opened y/n's car door, offering his hand for her to grab. of course she couldn't pass on that offer. she took robby's hand. robby slammed the door shut with his free hand.

the two didn't know whether to knock or to just walk in. judging by how loud the music was, the two just walked in. the chatter stopped when the couple came into sight. "holy shit." kenny whispered to kyler, pointing at robby. "yo, keene, your girl was real?" kyler raised an eyebrow. y/n flipped him off. "this is y/n. y/n these guys are kyler, kenny, hawk, tory, devon, and....stingray?" robby pointed at each person, pausing at stingray.

y/n nodded towards everyone. her and robby went to go sit on the couch. "so, y/n, how did you and robby meet?" tory questioned, trying to help y/n ease into the group. (we love a polite queen) "oh.. uhh.. i think the first time we met he was working at larusso's car shop and i was picking up my car. right?" y/n held robby's hand a little tighter. she looked up at him for confirmation.

"pretty sure that's what happened." robby nodded. tory smiled at y/n. "c'mon, y/n. me, you, and devon can just talk while they do... whatever the fuck they're doing." tory had a weird tone in her voice when she said the last part. kyler had been trying to get stingray to chug a beer without spilling drop. "be back, baby." y/n kissed robby's cheek before taking tory's hand and running outside with her and devon.

devon took a breath of fresh air. "those people piss me off so much." devon laughed. tory nodded with her. the three girls sat in the grass, staring up at the stars. "you look good with robby. he's been a lot happier." tory reassured y/n. not like she needed the reassurance, but it was still nice to hear.

the girls talked about themselves, as well as cobra kai as a whole, for a good hour and a half before people started leaving the party. robby came outside, car keys in hand. "you ready?" he asked. y/n nodded, brushing the grass off her knees. she held her hands out for tory and devon to grab. she pulled them up within seconds. "it was so nice meeting you guys." y/n smiled at the two. the girls smiled back at her.

robby opened the car door for y/n, then closing it when she was fully in the car. he got into the driver's side, starting the car. "so, how'd you like them?" robby reached a hand over the gear stick to hold her hand. he rubbed his fingers over he knuckles. "it was good. they're sweet girls. especially tory." robby snickered.

y/n looker over at him confused. "it's nothing, baby. just never heard the words 'tory' and 'nice' in the same sentence."

[storiesforallfandoms]

favoritism ~ pete davidson

word count: 2171

request?: yes!

@absstark​ “Hi! Ik your requests are closed atm but if u are able to, would you please be able to write me a Pete Davidson x female reader where they are dating and she’s a writer at SNL? Thank you 😊”

description: in which he’s dating one of the writers of his show, so the cast often jokes about her favoritism for him

pairing: pete davidson x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two, three)

It was actually quite ironic how everything started.

Pete was out at a bar with a couple of his SNL friends when he noticed a pretty girl sat by herself. He didn’t want to seem like a weird guy by just staring at her, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. She was breathtakingly beautiful.

He felt someone nudge him and he looked up to see they were all looking at him. “Sorry, what were you guys saying?”

Colin smirked at him. “Go talk to her/”

“What? No, I can’t.”

“Why can’t you?” Michael asked. “She’s alone over there.”

“For one, we don’t know if she’s actually here alone. She might have a date who’s in the bathroom, or she’s waiting for him to show up. She might even have a boyfriend who’s not here. And two, girls don’t like being approached by strange men in bars. She’ll probably think I’m a fucking creep.”

They were all giving him a similar look before Devon grabbed his shoulders, turned him towards the bar, and gave him a shove. He stumbled slightly, almost bumping into another person along the way. He regained his footing and glanced over at the woman to make sure she hadn’t seen. With the encouragement of his friends, he took a deep breath and made his way across the bar.

“Hey,” he started, very lamely. She looked up and gave him a polite smile. “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you, but my buddies kind of peer pressured me to come talk to you and I’m mainly doing this to get them off my back. If you just want to reject me, I’ll happily back off.”

She chuckled and glanced over Pete’s shoulder. “Are they the group very obviously staring at us right now?”

Pete followed her gaze to see his friends watching them like a pack of hawks. They didn’t even have the decency to look away when they were caught. Colin even smiled and waved his fingers at them.

“Yeah, those are my asshole friends,” Pete confirmed.

She smiled and waved at the group before turning back to Pete. “Here, sit with me. Give them something to talk about.”

Pete pulled up a stool next to her. He extended a hand towards her. “I’m Pete.”

“(Y/N). Nice to meet you.”

They talked at the bar for hours. They hardly noticed the other patrons starting to clear out or the blaring music starting to die down as the bar did its last call. Pete didn’t even notice his friends had left until the bartender had come to give them the last warning before closing. Before they parted ways, (Y/N) gave Pete  her number and told him to text her the next day.

“Just so I know you’re actually interested,” she had said before walking away.

And he had. The moment he woke up, he texted her, “Hope texting you this soon doesn’t seem to desperate, but I’m very interested - Pete.”

Near seconds later, he got a response. “I’d be a hypocrite if I called you desperate. I’ve been waiting for you to text me since I woke up.”

They texted back and forth all day. Pete was almost late to work because he was too busy texting to realize the time. When he arrived on set he was radiating with happiness. He hadn’t felt hits way in a long time. He had a really good feeling about this one. A strong feeling he hadn’t had before in any of his relationships. There was no doubts this time around.

His castmates noticed his good mood and asked what was up, but he just responded with a shrug and played it off. The guys who had been out the night before knew exactly where his good mood was coming from, but Pete decided to keep it to himself. He didn’t want to get too ahead of himself and tell everyone about (Y/N) just yet.

“Hey, Pete!” Lorne called as he spotted Pete making his way to set.

“Hey Lorne,” Pete said. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to introduce you to our new writer. She’s starting today, so try not to scare her away just yet.”

Pete chuckled, but it died off when Lorne stepped aside and gestured to the newbie. “(Y/N)?”

Her eyes widened, too. “Pete?”

“You two know each other?” Lorne asked.

“We met last night,” (Y/N) responded.

Lorne looked between the two of them. “You...met last night?”

“Not like that,” Pete assured him. “We met at a bar and just talked all night. We exchanged numbers, that’s it.”

Lorne had a skeptical look on his face that made Pete’s heart drop to his stomach. He knew how this was about to go: he would have to delete (Y/N)’s number and their messages, and he’d have to forget their would be romance before it even started. It was a HR issue, one that they would definitely not be allowed to explore.

This was the quickest broken heart he had ever gotten.

“You know, technically I should be sending you to HR to discuss this,” Lorne started. Both (Y/N) and Pete winced at the idea. “But that’s a lot of time and paperwork, and all that bullshit. So, I’m going to take both of your vocal promises that whatever this is will not interfere with either of your jobs.”

The two of them happily agreed. Lorne nodded and muttered something about leaving before he witnessed something he shouldn’t. That left (Y/N) and Pete alone, a slightly awkward tension in the air.

“You didn’t mention that you’re working for SNL,” Pete said. He meant it to come out lighthearted, but he winced when he realized how accusatory it actually sounded.

“I...actually didn’t know you were on the show,” she admitted. “You never mentioned it. You just said you were an actor.”

Pete chuckled. “Okay, we were both a little untruthful. Maybe we start over on the introductions.” He held his hand out to her. “Hi, I’m Pete. I’m a main actor on  Saturday Night Live.”

(Y/N) giggled and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Pete. I’m (Y/N), and I just got hired to write for Saturday Night Live.”

“Well, congratulations. And good luck on it. I heard the cast are all assholes, except for that Pete guy. So make sure you give all the funniest jokes to him.”

(Y/N) giggled again, looking down at the ground between them shyly.

It was the start to an amazing relationship. Pete could honestly say he hadn’t felt this happy in a very long time. They kept their personal lives separate from their work lives, which seemed to be the big key to making things work. Nothing was ever discussed about the show unless they were on set, and the minute they walked on the lost their relationship was put on the back burner until they left.

But the moments they had outside of work were some of the best moments of his life. He loved being with (Y/N) and spending most of his free time with her. He was trying not to go too fast with their relationship the way he had in past relationships, but it was hard not to be a bit optimistic with how well things were going.

Of course, dating a co-worker came with some teasing from other co-workers; especially when the other co-workers were fellow comedians. The main joke that the cast liked to tell was that Pete was getting favoritism from (Y/N) when it came to being given the best jokes.

It started during the table read for a skit. They were about halfway through when Punkie cut Pete off mid-joke to proclaim, “No fair, he’s getting the best jokes!”

Everyone stopped to look at her in confusion. They couldn’t tell if the look on her face was serious or not, so Pete asked, “Excuse me?”

“Your jokes here are so much better than mine,” Punkie said. “Must be nice sleeping with one of the writers.”

Punkie laughed, but Pete looked horrified by her “joke”.

“(Y/N) didn’t even write this sketch,” Kenan pointed out.

“That’s a very serious accusation, Punkie,” one of the producers commented.

“Come on, guys, it’s just a joke,” Punkie said. “I’m not mad. Just keep reading.”

Once they finished the table read, Pete decided to approach Punkie himself. “Hey, Punkie, listen. I know what you said was a joke, but...can you maybe be mindful of the way you say it? You could get (Y/N) into a lot of trouble if the wrong people heard what you said.”

“Pete, I didn’t mean it. Everyone knows (Y/N) isn’t actually giving you favoritism in the sketches.”

“I know, I’m just saying to work on your delivery. I really don’t want to have to deal with HR.”

“Okay, I get it. I’ll try to be more funny about it next time.”

And that was truly the wrong thing for Pete to say; for him to agree that if it was clearly said as a joke, that it was fine to say that (Y/N) favorited him. Because once he made the distinction that it was okay to do it in a joking matter, it was like the entire cast had decided they wanted to joke about Pete and (Y/N). It wasn’t anything new for the cast, they joked around with each other all the time. They were all friends, and you had to have a sense of humor if you were gonna be on SNL.

But man, after some time, Pete found it so much more annoying than his castmates meant it to be. He was trying so hard to separate his work life from his personal life, like Lorne had wanted, but now it was like his personal life was open season for all of his friends.

And it was definitely something (Y/N) had noticed. The jokes were never made to her face the same way they were to Pete’s, but she heard the whisperings or the aftermath of certain jokes when approaching Pete. She never said anything at first, which made Pete hope that maybe it didn’t bother her as much as it bothered him.

But one night, as they were leaving set, Pete noticed that (Y/N) seemed distracted. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him as they walked through the doors onto the lot.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” he asked.

(Y/N) nibbled on the inside of her cheek before she spoke, “Do your castmates really think I favorite you when writing?”

Pete stopped walking suddenly, causing (Y/N) to stumble a little. He turned to face her and she did the same.

“Baby, of course not. They’re only joking when they say that shit. No one actually believes it,” he assured her.

She shrugged. “I guess, but they say it so much. I’m starting to worry that they actually mean it but don’t want to say it, which could get us both in a lot of trouble if it ever comes back to HR.”

Pete put his hands on her shoulders. “Baby, I promise they do not mean it. If it ever got to HR, they would all swear up and down that they’re joking. They just like to poke fun at me because I had to fall in love with a new writer on set, out of all people. But it’s not serious, I can promise you that.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “You fell in love with me, huh?”

Pete couldn’t help but smile too as his hands ran down her arms to take hers. “I would think that’s pretty obvious by now.”

“You haven’t said the big L word before,” she said. “So, I don’t know, I thought maybe this was all just for fun.”

He chuckled, knowing that she was joking about the last part. They both knew they were in this relationship for the long run. There was nothing “just for fun” about it.

But she was right in saying that he hadn’t said the big three words to her yet. Although he knew deep in his heart that he did love (Y/N), he hadn’t been ready to say the words to her just yet.

That big L word was out there now, though. So, realisitically, he was part way there.

“I love you,” he said.

He didn’t think the smile on (Y/N)’s face could get any wider, but it did. She lit up like Times Square and leaned closer to him.

“I love you, too.”

They closed the gap between them to kiss. It was meant to be a sweet, romantic moment for the two of them, but it was quickly cut off by someone calling, “Get a room you two!”

They pulled apart, chuckling at the reaction, before deciding to go home and do just that.

[idk-i-want-mcl-content]

my candy's profile 💗🦇

first of all, I want to thank @eldaryasharbinger @queenkamisama and @candysweetposts because they had inspired me to do this with my oc and I completely credit them with the template ideas and everything 💗 I really enjoy reading about your candys!

credit to @cafekitsune for the dividers 💗 (also, I'm going to make a spanish version of this post, but later)

As a warning, this is a REALLY long post, i'm not joking lol I've yapped a lot and there's still a lot of info left xd

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 24 years old (she's turning 25 the year the game takes place)

Birthday: December 8th

Nationality: Salvadorian.

Languages: Spanish, English and French.

Sexuality: Panromantic Demisexual.

Appearance details: She has little dimples that are visible every time she laughs or smiles, has a lot of bruises on her knees and stretch marks on her hips. Most of the time she has eye bags and she straightens her hair, but naturally it has more of a wavy texture. She has body hair.

Outfits

Work - Every day - At the beach - Formal/Date

Relationships dynamics

Devon, main romantic interest: When she first arrived at Devenementiel she was a bit intimidated by Devon, because she wanted to do things right and give a good impression. As time passed, his charisma and kindness made her feel a lot more comfortable and after he helped her in her first solo project, she felt like they were on really good terms. Candy definitely feels attracted to him, but questions if it would be a good idea after what happened last time (she hasn't told anyone on the team about it) - When she had to start looking for apartments and Devon helped her with the interview (he volunteered after seeing how stress she was about it), it was the first time in MONTHS she saw Devon nervous around her. Ironically, he seemed to be enjoying the situation more than her, and the shine in his eyes when he called her "my wife" would be something difficult to forget. ("Didn't you say this would be difficult?" "idk, it was easy to think about you as my wife" "... you said WHAT NOW?") - On Devon's part, there's a lot of qualities of her that he likes, after all he hired her, but he specially likes how passionate and dedicated she is with her work and hobbys, but sometimes she can get way too carried with details and it stresses him lol they're working on it tho.

- Both are ambitious and so, I can see them having constant problems with making time to be together. They sort of mirror each other in the things they value the most and their biggest flaw, so finding a balance it's going to be harder than confessing to each other lol - Candy was quite disappointed with Devon's behavior when Thomas told everyone Roy's habit. She kept herself out of the jokes and everything but when they were deciding whether or not to spy on Roy and she told him how inappropriate it would be (for a THIRD time) for a moment she could tell he was hesitant, but proceded with everyone else except her and Amanda. Days after, when the topic came up again (because Roy did prank them and told them Amanda and Candy warned him): "I should've know you were planning something." "I'll give credit to Roy for the prank, but I was actually concerned for him. " "Candy, we are friends, nothing was going to happen to him" "Devon, believe me, you don't want to go on that hill with me again. I think you know Roy's boundaries, but this is one of mine's" and if bro didn't noticed he was fucking up, it was clear by her tone and glare: It reminded him of her "conversation" with Jason. Roy, coworker and friend: Roy and Candy had good chemistry since the start, mainly because of how easy going Roy is and as time passed they ended up being friends. They like to talk about Roy's swimming competitions and you can BET they were following some Paris 2024 Olympics events.

- They liked talking about TV shows Roy watches and every once in a blue moon when their schedules are free they like to go to the movies with other friends. Wouldn't say their friendship is perfect, because sometimes they but heads when Roy's being way too impulsive but at the end of the day they balance it out. Thomas, coworker: Candy didn't knew how to approach Thomas at first, he and Amanda seemed to her like they were just going to be on co-worker terms, feeling like they didn't have anything in common. Now that she has been working at Devenementiel for some time, she enjoys debating with Thomas A LOT to the point that if Amanda or Elenda see them talking they will literally leave xd.

- They are the type of friends where one ask a seemingly insignificant question and the other answers the most serious way, trying to think logically about it, and the conversation ends up being an hour long lol. In my canon, them and Amanda are like, the moon to Devenementiel's team Sun¿

- Their relationship sometimes can be unpredictable, because they disagree on really important topics and as i've mentioned my Candy heavily dislikes gossips and Thomas isn't as bothered with boundaries as she is, so when in ep 04 Thomas started to talk about Jason's personal life she started to dislike that part of his personality, even arguing with him "How is it that you feel comfortable sharing the personal information of others, but never talk about yourself and when people ask, you ignore them? Isn't it unfair?" And Thomas just gave a half-ass answer. Amanda, coworker: Now, with Amanda it's really funny, because even thought they work in the same department of the company and both have similar work styles she didn't like her from the start.

- She thought Amanda would be the type of person to put others down to lift her own accomplishments, and at the time she didn't really bother talking with her outside of work-related things. After all, she had plenty of coworkers like that in EPMC and even ballet.

- Her perception of Amanda changed with the events of episode 08 and after sitting with her and talking, she found out Amanda thought the same of her, plus she thought Candy didn't took things seriously enough sometimes. But instead of making her angry or offended Candy just laughed because for the longest time they were both concerned about something false, finding it ironic. Amanda was quite puzzled with her reaction but at the end they agreed to try and be friends, which ended up being easier after that first bad impression.

- Candy takes a lot of fashion advice from Amanda and she considers Candy a safe person to talk a little more about her own sexuality, since she mentioned she has dated women before. Since Amanda likes dancing, she's the only one of the team who Candy has show some of her performances (Even thought she has years of experience Candy's really shy of her abilities since she compares herself A LOT with others). All of this trust, of course, has taken them some time to build up but they've become more closed than what people think.

Jason, work rival: Can I just say, that I think this Candy on paper, would have fitted better in Goldreamz rather than Devenementiel? but what's done it's done yk. (in my mind there's an au where she is working at goldreamz but that's a story for another day) - When she first met Jason on ep 02, he didn't necessarily impressed her but she didn't thought he wasn't as bad as Roy mentioned, however, the things she assumed about Amanda ended up becoming true with Jason: His arrogance and constant remarks about him being better than Devenemetiel and Devon in everything annoyed her quickly, and interally she was trying not to take it personally and ignored Jason's attempts to provoke her, something he didn't quite appreciated. "How interesting, Devon, it seems like your new employee is the most professional out of you three." "Better say of the four of us, Jason. Or would you say arrogancy is a desirable quality in a bussiness partner?" "You can interpret it as arrogancy, but I'm prideful of the services my company can offer to our clients" "If you were so confident, at least in my opinion, there wouldn't be such a need to remark it every time you speak. After all, actions are worth more than words, isn't it?" - In general, she doesn't find Jason to be incompetent or anything like that, but she despise that facade of his. If it's canon that Jason searched for Candy's number and contacted her, he would promptly get ignored, not because she doesn't want to answer but knows that's exactly what he wants. - In ep 06 when Goldreamz and Devenementiel's team are arguing, I imagine she wouldn't say anything and just dedicate to analyze and contrast information, retaining a laugh because she finds it so funny when Devon, Thomas and Jason are being sarcastic.

Elenda coworkers, friends: Elenda reminds Candy SO MUCH of her best friend so it's not a surprise they got along pretty quickly, as she did with Roy. She has a soft spot for Elenda tbh, similar to Brune. They are wholesome and Elenda makes her laugh a lot. Even if she has insisted to see at least a video of any of her ballet performances, Candy isn't revealing anything lol. I can 100% imagine them going to a karaoke and BLASTING Crowstorm's songs (picture them not being able to talk the next day at work xddd) either that or pop songs. I imagine they just found each other in a karaoke as a coincidence once, since both were with their own friends, but now they go together.

Brune, coworkers, on good terms: In my headcanons, Brune can speak spanish as her second language so when Candy is burned OUT of speaking french she would exclusively talk spanish to Brune lol They are not as closed as with Elenda, but they do joke around and appreciate the other's sincerity.

um hello hi and thank u for reading all of this? like wow xd I'm going to continue adding info and as i've mentioned before i'm going to make a spanish version of this post, just for the funsies yk, but that's going to be on another time. Also, I would have been infuriated if I wrote this before episode 08 because my perception of Thomas, who I've had considered my main route, change in an awful way :c Devon too did things I don't like, but for the sake of completing this I chose him (believe me I thought about it a lot of time xddd)

[eldaryasharbinger]

Making this post again, this time as it's own post and not a reblog (for context, the original post that inspired me to actually share what Is going on my head was about a theory on Jason's possible dynamic with Candy so I'm writing my own thoughts about it! I'm brainrotting about it so you've been warned!)

OP was talking about "imagine if Jason is actually just going to manipulate you for his own power and success" and something along the lines, not 100% accurate I just can't remember it right now so I might reblog it later just in case anyone wants to give it a read!

So now I'm like, ok HEAR ME OUT and consider my candy Petronilla the example candy here because that's the way I thought about all these (she's got the sweet personality, is all pink and pretty so keep that in mind ok??!)

Okay now we can really get into it and I'll start by saying, what if Jason did not only just fall FIRST but also HARDER and is either in denial or too arrogant to admit it or something like that yk, like he's been actively trying to seduce the enemie's new girl just to end up falling in love "accidentally"(???) and he feels like it's not possible that he's just imagining things so he pretends it's not true (kinda something similar to what actually happens in Baldur's Gate 3 and Astarion, he tried to get into your sheets for his own protection and ends up catching feelings for Tav)

But once he's like "oh shit! I really do love her!" he suddenly feels bad about himself because he genuinely cares about candy but he's not right for her since he's this annoying b- I mean, since everyone else low-key despises him too, so maybe he's kinda worried that he can't be good or that candy could NEVER feel the same way after everything she knows about him and everything Roy Devon etc could've told her about him (this is the angst part in the enemies to lovers...)

I got inspiration from this pic, I don't even know the context but IMAGINE he's looking at candy like that because he doesn't really know what to do about it but he loves her dearly or sum and he's kind of frustrated??

Like I don't know if that's just me but I don't only see "love" in his look I kinda see sadness as well?? something like that?? YEARNING even???

While she's just there, with her doe eyes... not knowing how much this man cares... Like tell me my version wouldn't go great with Hozier's song "Too Sweet" (currently going viral I think on Instagram and idk about TikTok since I'm not on there, I only know about it because of the Harvey Stardew Valley edits lol)

take a look at the lyrics please and pretend with me, let's be crazy about this together...

(realistically I don't really know if this could be possible like in the canon so I'm not even going to say that it's a theory. I only thought about it when I saw Jason's expression in that exact picture a little bit before launch, got inspiration for my new MCL Oc Petronilla, had no context and still RAN with it)

[tategaminu]

SOOO the title for 05X6 dropped and I'm going feral

Be prepared to hear my long ass theory about this episode and why it will be the rayllum fully gets back together episode (I'm annoying)

Of course we already know season 6 will mirror S3 or at least that's what it looks like. "Moonless Night" is episode 5‚ the same one when Callum and Rayla first got together‚ just as 4 had the title of the place they reach. (The Midnight Desert‚ The Starcrapper)

I have to add‚ just as season 3 had Nyx‚ there's this sky girl called Astrid who may act as the Nyx parallel‚ who knows.

I don't use Discord but my info provider (hello there) told me Devon said episode five would be emotionally heavy and a favourite. A person said ep2 of season 5 were their favourite because the cute rayllum moments and Devon said "until 5 of 6" 🧐

Aparently, it was confirmed by writers this episode would DESTROY people KILL EVEN, well maybe not that but you get me. We know how emotional these two blorbos are for each other right? and we for them. In Discord, a person said ep2 of season 5 were their favourite because the cute rayllum moments and Devon said "until 5 of 6" 🧐

Now let's go to the juicy part. The title. This title is absolutely loaded. like wth. We all know whose favourite girl is related to the moon right? of course we are worried. But I think she's gonna be ok, in the end at least, let me explain.

Of course I'm asuming this scene from the teaser may be from episode 5. We see Callum falling in a moonless night but I'm guessing the title isn't that literal. I think Callum is falling emotionally and literally just as he has before for Rayla. He fell in love with her‚ he fell off a cliff for her and then fell emotionally when she left. The sky he is in is dark‚ no moon‚ representing his own mental state without Rayla. Rayla left him at night just as Callum is falling in the night (omg)

Callum had a moonless night every day for two years because his guiding moon wasn't in his life. I think they may talk about it or it will affect Callum in this episode some way.

Note that the teaser opens with this scene, next we have Aaravos saying "we are all of us, stardust, held together by love for an instant"

(wow subtle foreshadowing you guys)

and the teaser ends with Callum losing his love wings. The wings he got for her. Basically opening with a rayllum scene and closing with a "rayllum" scene ya know

In Chasing Shadows Rayla specifically mentions the stars in his eyes‚ when he does the big speech:

Now‚ what do I think will happen?

EP3: They visit the Silvergroove? just like in ep 3x3. Maybe visit Ethari? "heeey your husband is alive ok bye". My own guess is that they will get the boat from the leaked scene there since there are moon animals in that thing and reach the frozen ship with that.

Ep4: they reach destination and meet the sky elves, Astrid included, with no hiccups. ba dum tss

Ep5: Basically 05x3 but different and sexier

Whatever Callum is about to do I highly doubt Rayla will agree with it because you know how they are (me getting hurt is ok but not you). He convinces her like he did in TTM‚

But this time Rayla is the one to say it

I think that even if Callum promises he will be ok‚ he will have a "I want you to know" moment again and that may lead to talking about her leaving. This may derive into a kinda argument. Callum and Rayla can't continue their talk because they get interrumped (once again) but the memories of a broken heart and feelings affects him badly. He's just emotionally distraught and loses his love wings because whatever. I doubt Rayla isn't seeing any of this, you know how she is. She didn't spend 7 hours watching him sleep to actually not watch this like c'mon

This time Rayla may be the one saving Callum from falling (literally and metaphorically). Now yeah Rayla can't fly but maybeeee

A: she calls out for his name, "waking" him up

B: she just jumps (im going for this one) like Callum did for her. She jumps, not knowing if it's going to work, wakes him up after catching him‚ Callum is able to get his wings back and fly them both into safety, Callum gets his love wings again for her but this time she's being the savior (in the most part). Maybe even completing whatever mission they ask as well. TOGETHER.

After this we may get a Rayla is a hero speech or this time Callum is a hero speech, I don't know‚ I think it would be more fitting if it's from Callum and the hero Callum speech is from Rayla to her parents. Whateve, they finally have their three sesaon dragged conversation and they both kiss like in S3 but maybe reversed this time (Rayla kissing first and apologizing and Callum kissing her next) and they fully come back together :'). I dont think we will get an I love you until ep 9 but we won't really need it here right? we already know!

The episode ends with them kissing under the moon. Moonless Night ending with with a moon night (metaforically and literally)

Now‚ this is just my own guess and it sounds very very self-indulgent (heh) but a girl can dream

[the-skull-breaker]

MCL New Gen ep 4 spoliers !

alright alright ! the new episode is out for VIPs, and just like the previous one I got to play Roy's route early, I'll play Thomas' once the ep releases for everyone !

without further ado, click on "keep reading" to see my full opinion !

so first we got to go to the Cosy Bear for potentially meet Castiel serving, but sadly we've arrived late and didn't get to actually meet him, we did get to see Lynn however, tho I understand how Castiel's fans must be disappointed, like I would have loved o see how mister rockstar deals with serving customers, it could be really funny !

then Lynn and Thomas have a small discussion and Thomas just casually told her he was in love with her in he past (I will not go into details about him because, again, I'll make another post about his route later) which led to the topic of romantic relationships. now there was a quick scene with Brune before going to the cafe about her relationship with Roy and the bet the night before, and honestly I was kinda worried about it with the way she approached us but it turns out she's not mad about the kiss, so that was a relief.

to go back at the cafe discussion we got to know each characters' relationship statues and, surely, we got to Roy and Brune's, and while I did expect them to not have an actual serious relationship, I was surprised by how honest they were about their true feelings, and I was ESPECIALLY surprised by the fact that THEY DID NOT EVEN KISS. so anyway they ended up breaking up in a calm and mature way, which I did no expect but honestly ? as uncomfortable as the whole thing was I'm glad it turned that way instead of being messy, however it seemed like both Thomas and Devon were pretty disappointed with the lack of drama which is hilarious.

now we get to Candy's relationship with her ex and we've got the choice to got into details or not, I've chosen the first option which raised my LOM with Roy and as much as I should have expected this I did NOT expect how nice our coworkers were, especially Roy and Devon ! first Roy saying that he hopes karma will get to our ex is the sweetest thing, I'm even more in love with him ! then Devon who says they will not make business with our ex-workplace which is so awesome from him, couldn't ask for a better boss than him !

then we see Jason and the topic of why he's our enemy is brought up and honestly ? I hate him even more... basically his company is just to spite the fact he was disqualified to the contest because... he cheated... and took the opportunity of working with the city hall so he could copy Devon's project... good job, dickhead, you've played yourself ! now I want even more to mess with his plans and drive him to ruin ! *insert maniacal laugh*. now about his past relationships is none of my business, he can have many conquests I don't care, I'm definitely not into him anyway. (anyway sorry for those who do like him, nothing against you, I just don' like him at all)

and FINALLY we get to the illus scene which in the case of Roy happens in the bus and wow, I do wish I was in the place of Candy there ! the way he holds us close to him so we wouldn't fall while potentially not thinking much about it just because he might think it's just normal I just... aaaaaahhhh I love him ! then we discuss more about our expectations in a relationship and it's clear he would be such a good partner, I wish I had one like him...

and here you go, many people may think nothing much happened but remember that we're still in an introduction state, this episode was clearly about learning the LIs' view on relationship, and from what I see on the preview it seems like the next episode might make things more serious in terms of story, so hold on, be patient, it could still be great !

anyway, that's all for me, have a nice day !

[sphaxcca]

My Candy Love New Gen ep. 4 Review

Here I am after finishing the last episode of MCL New Gen ready to give my honest and unasked opinion about it. Fasten your seatbelts cause we are about to start and i'm not gonna be gentle

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT...

So the episode opens with Elenda who's basically trying to drag us so bad to the Cosey Bear because apparently Castiel was serving there ( No judgement toward Elenda, i wanted to see my husband too). Unfortunately for me and her, he already had left when we showed up to the Cafe. >3>.

Seeing Lynn animated was so cute and a little bit nostalgic but nothing compared to the GASP I emitted when she started talking to Thomas and he told her he was in love with her. GEEEEZ, now i get why that kid was a pain in the ass and RUINED my pic-nic date with Tomato head, THE DOTS CONNECTED. Btw it was a very cute scene and a tribute to Iris that I hope she will show up in Thomas' route.

Moving on, inspired by Thomas' love confession, everybody starts talking about their love life (expected since the episode's name is hearts looking for love). And this is where things went horribly cringe and outrageous: Ofc i'm not talking about Elenda and Devon ( It was cute to know that she had a crush on Devon and, about him, a little peak to where the story is possibly going to lead - a busy man that works his ass off so bad for Devenementiel and has no time to date)or Amanda but about ROY and BRUNE.

Hoooooly shit, the chill of second hand embarassment that I got just by reading the interractions between these two was undescribable I swear( Elenda became basically my guide spirit: her reaction was the same i had. ). Everything was so outofcontext and nonsense that I'm actually wondering why Beemov decided it was a great idea to give space to something so....childish? I mean, we're talking about (almost) 30yo people.. and they got together because they were...desperate??????? - "Yeah with my exes things weren't doing good so we decided to date even tho we don't talk, don't touch and fell uncomfortable with each other" - COOOME ON, BFR, you guys ok? Also, I really hope that we're gonna discover something deeper about Roy (or that he's going to get a development at least) that makes him more that what i can pick up and feel from him right now: childish Gymrat fixed on pool that give us nothing. I'm genuine deluded about the way they handled this.

Moving on to JASON PART. He basically shows up when we're still talking sitted by the table. I was obviously expecting the part where he was going to be pointed out as a "womanizer" but what I DID NOT EXPECT was the reaction he had when he overhears our conversation: I felt him being sarcastic as usual but at the end i felt he was kinda....hurt??? idk if you get what i mean, he literally said he had REASONS why he doesn't want to be in full term relationship and this opens my mind to an INFINITE AMOUNT OF THEORIES

Connected to what I've read on some theories here, someone said it's because of the condition ( or the pathology) that made his hair go white...

This is a really good point but I genuine think about something else that is connected to this and the SHOCK NUMBER 2: Why Devenementiel hates Jason so much?

Apparently our "proud and superior" man with an incredible fragile ego had PLAGIARIZED the project the would have helped Devon to found Devenementiel and, because of that, he was fired and disqualified by the contest. So...first things first: PIECE OF SHIT. Secondly, I genuine would have never thought about him doing something like this and that's the reason why i don't think he did it because he wanted to but perphaps he WAS PUSHED to do so.

Another theorie said that probably he was helped by a third person that played dirty and suggested him the same project Devon did

And I have to admit that this is something very likely, but stil don't really convince me too much.

We can clearly see that Jason has a lot of money, A LOT, and by the way he has so much money i'm assuming he comes from a family that at least has the same amount of capital he has now. We got told that he was basically working as an employer (if i remember correctly) so why trying to steal something from others if you are satisfied and don't need a job? perhaps because you NEED that first place to REDEEM yourself and PROVE someone wrong at least so that.. THE END JUSTIFIES THE MEANS. That's where his family and the white hair make their part: A Dad Ceo that basically disgraced his Son because he couldn't follow or keep up with the family business or - he wasn't good enough- for the role ( and that's why the white hair, because of the stress) . Another thing that might prove this is the fact that Devon told us that he had "private investors" and...i mean, if you're broke, i don't think you can find them just by snapping your fingers and make them appear in front of you, especially when you get fired and disqualified in a competition. He could have use the "family" name and hi charisma to persuade the investors to help him found Goldreamz. And THIS leads me to the last point: Why no long term relationship? Because his family has to end with him and he's scared of the consequences that a partner can have in his life. This reminded me so much Simon from Bridgerton btw. So yeah...I might be wrong (99%) but i want to think that he's a piece of shit just because he's hurt.

His special scene was normal i guess, i love the way my candy was looking at the instagram photos be like - "i'm just studying the enemy...not doing something wrong..maybe".

In the end i decided to try for the Thomas illustration and nothing to complain about, the scene was genuine one of the most cute one in the game so fare and the ilusstration 10/10 chef's kiss and handshake by the president.

[loversfms]

[ … ] ❀ you’re not from around here , are you? i figured because you totally just missed devon ali walking by. don’t tell me you don’t know who he is ? they kind of look like raymond ablack and i could be wrong but i think that they might be thirty-four years old right now. they’ve been living in palmview for the last four years. and i don’t know if anyone has ever told them this before but they kind of remind me of sid from how i met your father. if you stick around the town long enough you might catch them in action working at the book nook as the owner. you see this town isn’t really that big of a place, some folks like to call them the bibliophile of palmview! they took a liking to the name too after a while, go figure. oh crap, they must have heard me yapping. they’re coming this way. i got to warn you though, rumor has it they can pretty transparent at times. i wouldn’t take it too seriously though, from the times i’ve spoken to them they seemed pretty rational to me. we see each other all the time since they live in that two bedroom apartment beside me over in ocean's edge. i better leave you to it. it was nice meeting you!

STATS:

full name : devon ali nickname(s) : dev birthplace : houston, texas date of birth : june 25, 1990 sibling(s) : n / a !children : victor ali (5) & juliet ali (5) relationship status : single gender identity : cis man ( he/him ) sexual orientation : heterosexual faceclaim : raymond ablack

BACKGROUND:

before he was even born, devon's life had been planned out for him. his parents had been hoping and praying for a boy, and they were overjoyed when their first born came to be.

they had high hopes for him, and he seemed to be meeting each one. he did everything early. his parents loved bragging about how his doctors would say he was on a level two years older than he actually was, whether it was growing, talking, moving, etc.

his parents were so pleased, they decided to not test their luck and have any more kids. this left devon feeling incredibly lonely-- a feeling only healed by reading.

his parents were strict, and social opportunities were not often presented to him. he'd attend a birthday party here and there, but play dates were not something he'd ever really experienced. he called his parents strict, they called themselves protective.

"besides," they'd tell him, "what adventure could be better than those found inside a book?" that's when the library trips began. it was one of the few places he'd see other kids outside of school, but half the time he was too engrossed in the shelves to even notice

his parents were right. there was so many different worlds he could find himself in if he picked through the right shelf.

devon made sure to be the perfect son as he grew up. no talking back, always did his homework and studied, and graduated at the top of his class. he was hoping that once he became an adult, he'd finally be in charge of his own life. oh how wrong he was.

despite the fact that his parents had been looking at colleges since the day he was born ( determined to have an ivy league alum in the family ), devon had thought they'd come to their senses ( as if the previous eighteen years of wishes and prayers for a son committed to being the best weren't any indication where they stood )

he finds brown university to be a good place to be-- it has one of the oldest family medicine residency programs in the country. what more could his parents want?

so, he goes to rhode island and studies. attends all of his classes, does all of his work, gets along with his professors and mentors... HE WAS THE PERFECT SON.

but he could only be that for so long. with his plate so full, he hardly had time to read anything that wasn't a medical textbook. and, while he doesn't hold any ill will against his parents, he likes to think he learned more about life from the novels he's read than his own family. as silly as it sounds, it was hurting to not be able to do the one thing he'd found joy in his whole life.

he's twenty-eight and about to enter his final year of residency when his fiancee tells him she's pregnant. something that most definitely wasn't planned and something that wouldn't fit the role he'd seemingly fell into so perfectly.

he's twenty-nine when the twins come, and while he's ready to be a father, it's so hard to have two huge transitions at once-- two new babies with a job search just around the corner.

victor ( named after victor frankenstein ) and juliet ( romeo & juliet ) are the two best things that he's ever been granted, and he wants to do right by them. how is he going to raise them to be their best selves if he doesn't love the life he lives?

he's thirty when his family makes the move to palmview grove, florida, and he promises his fiancee he'll look at all the close doctors offices. however, when his eyes land on a run-down bookstore almost out of business, he makes the impulsive decision to ask for a loan and buy it out. it's the first thing he's ever done for himself, and it just feels right.

his fiancee, however, is not impressed. in fact, she's angry. he can't blame her for being mad-- it's a big decision, it's a big loan, and it was a decision he made without her. he can't really explain himself, but he can't bring himself to apologize

it doesn't take long for her to walk out-- he's convinced she had been looking for a reason, because it seemed a little too easy for her. he was ready to fight for his kids, but it never even came to that.

it took a year of planning, painting, imagining, and night business classes, but the book nook was finally open for business.

three years later, and the book nook seems to be doing better than ever. he's always at the shop, working the register, recommending books to others, or even volunteering himself for the read alouds. he broke up his family, disappointed his parents, and yet he's never felt more himself.

PERSONALITY:

very open and chatty ! working in both a hospital setting and in a business owner position, he's definitely gotten used to talking to people in all types of scenarios

definitely a little bit silly a little bit goofy ... yes he has a medical degree but he's slept since graduation so sometimes ... he's just silly !

such a book nerd probably is on all the forums ... definitely hates booktok he thinks its a disease !!!

suuuuuch a dad... dad jokes incoming i fear...

unfortunately such a millennial ... don't talk to me before i've had my morning coffee ... minion memes on facebook ... it's a lifestyle for him unfortunately...

[drewsbuzzcut]

Drama Isn’t Picky

mat barzal x model!fem!reader

a visceral in doses blurb

warnings: none just a bit of pettiness?

Your phone has been continuously buzzing for the last hour.

The agency you worked with and some of your close friends had been trying to contact you, but you didn’t bother to answer any message or call.

3 days ago you went to a fashion event with your friends Bella Hadid and Devon Lee Carlson. When you arrived with them, they ran into some of their friends.

One of those friends was there with her boyfriend? Husband? You weren’t exactly sure.

Let’s just say you’re not too fond of this certain celebrity’s significant other. That being said, you refrained from greeting the pair because you weren’t going to put yourself in an uncomfortable position.

It might’ve seemed rude to others, but you just stayed as far away as possible while still greeting others around them.

Your actions, however, didn’t go unnoticed by the person you were avoiding.

She in fact was so bothered that she felt the need to tweet out “hockey is for boring people.”

You know that she could be talking about literally anyone or maybe she really didn’t like hockey, but tabloids of you and mat and the rumors surrounding your relationship had recently been published. It was too coincidental.

It got worse once people started talking about how you ignored this person at the event.

People started talking about you, and then they started bringing mat into the conversation.

You were more bothered by the fact that mat was getting put into this when he shouldn’t have been, than you being called out.

You didn’t care what anyone had to say about you, you knew what your reasons were and that was good enough for you.

Seeing mat’s name pop up on your phone, indicating that he was calling had you finally answering your phone.

“Barzy, hey,” you said into the phone.

“Babe? Are you okay? I’ve been seeing what’s going on,” mat questioned.

He knew what was going on. You had even told him about the run in at the event and why you ignored them the same night it happened.

“I’m fine! You know I don’t let what they say get to me. Are you okay?” You’re thankful for mat making sure you’re okay, but you’re more worried about what’s being said about him.

Mat may be a tough guy, but he was still a human being with a soft interior who took criticism to heart.

“I’m good. I swear, babe. I’m just glad to hear your voice,” he assures you, settling your nerves.

Your shoulders drop and your breathing is more steady.

“I can’t wait for you to get home! I miss my napping buddy,” you giggle.

“Miss you more than you know,” he says, you can picture the smile he’s sporting.

“Do you think I should tweet something back. I know it’s a bit immature, but I’m just sick of being silent,” you’re hoping to have the last laugh even if it’s sets off more talk.

“Go for it,” mat encouraged you.

You love the way he’s always by your side, willing to start and walk through fires with you.

“Cool.”

“What’re you gonna say?”

“Hockey is actually for cool people. Only some would understand,” you reply.

Mat’s loud, contagious laugh flows through the speaker in your phone.

You smile at the fact that you made him laugh. It’s a win in your book.

“You’re so cool babe,” mat says, knowing it’ll put a smile on your face, and distract you momentarily from the chaos going on around you.

Later that night when you do tweet your little, petty statement, mat is the first to like it and retweet, not caring if it makes people talk about whether your relationship was real or not even more than they already were.

a/n: This is just a filler part to get the story moving. It doesn’t have much significance besides the fact you get a glimpse of mat and reader’s dynamic and how their relationship is in the early stages. This is about 2-3 months into them dating, so things are still under wraps. Enjoy!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: January 2024

as long as I'm talking about The Gargoyle's Captive, let's discuss what else I've been reading this month.

Maeve Fly (CJ Leede, 2023) - I really liked this slender debut novel, which follows the titular Maeve Fly as she prowls LA like a homicidal alien, playing an unnamed ice princess in a certain theme park by day and indulging her murderous tendencies by night. Maeve is in a downward spiral; she's 27 years old and is preparing to lose her grandmother to illness and her only friend to a blossoming acting career. she sees no future for herself beyond losing the only two people she cares about and has no further goals, contenting herself with alcohol and porn while she rereads the same books, rewatches the same videos, and listens over and over to her playlist of Halloween music. Maeve is, it must be said, an abysmal loser, and I like her terrible melodrama a lot. I do think some of the hype is perhaps overstating the feminist credentials of this book; it sort of reminds me of when a college friend told me their favorite feminist movie was Suicide Squad (2016) because Harley Quinn was in it. Maeve talks a lot of big game about how women are always expected to have some tragedy to be deranged serial killers, while men are allowed to just do it, but it hit me as a little tryhard. there are a lot of books trying to be "the female American Psycho" right now - Eliza Clark's 2020 novel Boy Parts is frequently described as such - but it feels a bit too on the nose when Maeve's ultimate climactic rampage is directly inspired by a glimpse of the American Psycho novel. it's not that deep, but it is a gross, captivating read told from a fascinatingly cracked POV. check out Maeve Fly.

Laziness Does Not Exist (Devon Price, 2021) - yeah Devon Price is still following me (though my days are numbered, I'm sure) so it's a massive relief to say that I did like this book. Price has sort of become my self-help ride or die, mainly because a.) he's so much more self-aware than the average self-help writer that it feels kind of insulting to call him one and b.) he's actually dealing with topics that are relevant or interesting and providing actionable advice. while LDNE didn't engross me quite as hard as Unmasking Autism (while I am, famously, not autistic, I do believe in their beliefs, by which I mean I'm the token allistic among my close friends and I vastly prefer autistic company) it hit me hard in several unexpected pressure points. I'll happily admit that I can't relate to Price's interviewees who willingly work 50+ hours a week for jobs that hate them and are destroying their minds and bodies, but I still struggle to escape the perpetual sensation that a moment at rest is a moment wasted. It probably didn't help that I was reading this book while on vacation at my mother's, where I visited the beach almost daily and was so work-averse that we didn't even bother going grocery shopping because I didn't want to cook. and yet, despite getting dummy chill in some aspects of my life, I am still constantly possessed by a malevolent ghost insisting that I'm wasting my time and have never actually done Enough. maybe Price's next book, Unlearning Shame, will finally fix me; it's out in four days and god knows I'll be getting my hands on it as soon as humanly possible.

Patternmaster (Octavia E. Butler, 1976) - y'all know I love a messy political fantasy, and this is just... god, the absolute messiest. I thought Mind of My Mind was bad, but it turns out Mary's descendants are going to full-on reinvent feudalism with psychic powers, treating non-psychics as chattel and causing technological advancement to regress since they refuse to handle their problems with anything but psychic powers. and it's even got two brothers duking it out for the throne that will give them power over every bitchy psychic on earth! you love to see it. if I can be 100% honest I do think it's straight up bananagrams that this was the first book released in the series even though it's chronologically last; I genuinely cannot imagine caring enough to figure out what the fuck these people were talking about if I didn't have the previous four books for context. and even "context" may be generous; Octavia still has absolutely 0 interest in explaining what's up with the fucking outer space werewolves who are the psychics' #1 enemy. if I could have brunch with any person living or dead I would summon Butler up in a heartbeat to explain what the fuck her thought process was in plotting out this series over some mimosas, and I would take extensive notes on every word she said. an absolute genius and the uncontested queen of freak shit forever.

Thirsty Mermaids (Kat Leyh, 2021) - I purchased this graphic novel in November 2023 at a conference where I bumped into Queer Comics Peddler, my very favorite queer midwestern pop-up. running into them is always a delight, and this time I came with a question: could they give me a recommendation? the very nice people working offered up Thirsty Mermaids, which was the PERFECT companion for a long airplane ride. it's cute without being overly sappy, and avoids the trap of sacrificing a plot for the sake of checking off as many representation boxes as possible. the story is simple: three mermaids use a spell to turn into humans and go ashore in search of booze, only to realize in the morning that they don't know how to turn back. taken in by a generous bartender, they're faced with the reality of having to make money for the first time in their lives. hijinks ensue, but also a very sweet and warmhearted story about the friends looking out for one another as they try to figure out exactly where they belong and what home even means. also the artwork is GORGEOUS, with the mermaids' extremely memorable character designs being a real standout. if you're a graphic novel enthusiast, definitely check this out 🧜‍♀️

Sugar, Baby (Celine Saintclare, 2023) - Sugar, Baby came to me in a very similar way as Thirsty Mermaids: while visiting a witchy little bookstore that I was immediately charmed by, I asked the cashier what they would recommend. they offered up Maeve Fly (fab) and this novel, a stack of which was on the counter advertising an upcoming event with the author. neither have disappointed, so shout out to that one employee with the great taste! Sugar, Baby sees a young cleaner named Agnes, one of the only biracial women in her unnamed English town, befriending the daughter of a wealthy client and getting whisked away to her new friend's London lifestyle: crashing in an apartment with fellow models, staying out all night to party, and making money by going on dates with extravagantly wealthy older men. Agnes starts out having a swell time, but the cracks pretty swiftly start to form as she realizes how much more dependent she is on these men than her wealthy new friends and she begins to wonder exactly how much she's willing to diminish herself to get the bag. it's not a perfect first novel but it is a compelling one, a perfect airplane page-turner that crashes from glitzy to ghoulish and back with breakneck speed.

The Gargoyle's Captive (Katee Robert, 2023) - my full review is over on patreon for my darling supporters who want me dead (and picked this book in the first place, damn them to hell), but suffice to say this is a fun book to read if you like the sensation of your brain melting out of your nose, if you're really turned on by baby's first bdsm, you are not particularly concerned with trifling matters like "plot coherence" or "character motivation" or "writing that is complex and artful," and/or you've ever wanted to have sex with a dude whose penis is so big that you feel genuinely fear. also, hey, I forgot to include this in my patreon write-up so fuck it: Robert REFUSES to tell us what kind of food the protagonists are eating, ever. whenever they have a meal it's just "the food was placed on the table" "I took a bite" etc. drop me a HINT, man, come on! is it a protein? grain? starches? the only thing I know for sure that they're consuming is wine and a single marshmallow, and god does it show. it's just a very weird and distracting omission and it's absolutely not the worst thing about this book but it is a hill I'm willing to die complaining on.

[imdoingsortagay]

Point of no return

summary: Claire's return from the weekend with her best group of friends.

a/n: wow I wrote ? yeah weird

warnings: crying Claire, cute nicknames, no spoilers of glass onion, sad claire

Reblogs, Comments, and Likes are appreciated!!! Happy reading

Devon: we should be back with your wife in the next 10 minutes 

A yearly trip with all her friends from her hometown wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Claire to do but this time it felt different. 

Even with the world in a worldwide Pandemic, they all decided just to spend the weekend together so as not to “ stop the tradition” formed by her group. 

A group of friends that never seemed to think highly of you due to where you came from, even when Claire was excited to introduce you to them. Only one of them ever being nice to you since she could relate when it came to upbringings. That same group only seems to ask Claire to come to the yearly trip and not you because “ it’s just us sweetie “ even with whiskey being invited. They just never seemed to be nice to you at all.   Yet even when you tried to convince her it was a bad idea, Claire assured you it was fine and that the press would never find out about it. 

Yet something about this was off. You had a feeling that something bad was gonna happen to her but as always she used her charm ( among other things) to calm down your worries. 3 days on some remote island in Greece with people who only seem to bring out the worse in her that you could never admit pissed you off as she worked so hard to be a better version of herself. 

Yet here you were pacing around the house, wearing some fluffy PJs, one of claires old shirts from her college years, and a worried look on your face as the minutes passed. Countless calls to her just to see how’s she’s doing only for her to ignore them, the sudden announcement that one of her good friends from said group of idiots ( the only one you actually liked to be honest) dead, not mention the article about a fire breaking out in some remote island that caused so much damage. All you could do was pace back and forth to calm yourself down waiting for the arrival of Claire. 

As you continue to pace and think of the worst as always, the doorbell rings and you immediately go over to open it to see a very tired Claire being held by Devon, who also seems to be sporting a worried look as well. You move to the side to let them inside and lead devon to your shared bedroom where he lays down a very quiet, yet sleepy Claire to rest up while you wonder just what the fuck happened. 

“ Did she say what happened at the getaway to you?” 

“ no,” devon says the moment that he gets out of your room, feeling sad at the state of his dear friend. Knowing full well how bad those people are. 

“ what do you mean no did you even bother to-” 

While the both of you were loudly talking in the hallway, Claire was preventing herself from crying, mad with how this weekend went. A weekend that could have been spent at home with her wife, who very much warned her all of this was not the best idea to spend time with people only there to please the queen bee of the group. She’d be lying to herself if she said that wasn’t also the reason she was there. 

“ You know those people bring out the worst in you and YOU STILL DECIDE TO GO CLAIRE!” you yell at her as she packs everything that she needs.

“I think we both know that breaking this yearly tradition i have with them would not go over well y/n, and I’ll be safe,” she tells you, going over the list of things that you told to pack. Not wanting your wife to freak out over missing something. 

“ Honey,” you start as you try your best not to cry,” for the love of god, I know you love the disruptors so much but we are in a fucking pandemic, please just stay home with me binge-watching some trashy tv show and text Miles that next year is a go,”. The look on her face brings tears on your face as you see the woman walk out of the house to where her ride is waiting for her. Leaving you hurt that she would just do that to you.

“I know you must be worried about her but for now,” he stops as he places his hands on your shoulders to try to calm you down,” just give her all the love and comfort she needs.” Both of you say your goodbyes and you head to the bathroom to grab a wet towel to clean off her face and go back to the room while Claire just looks at you, afraid to speak to you after having been a bad wife. Ignoring your warnings about the disruptors, not answering any of your calls, and whatnot. As much as you wanted to scold her, in that moment Claire just needed you to make her feel better. 

“ I don’t deserve you,” Claire says as she sees you look around the closet for a comfy shirt to put her in, mad at herself for not listening to your advice. She wants to cry but after all the shit that occurred with the island, the very much dangerous thing that Miles Bron decided to debut the new power source. Yet she wanted to act all tough in front of you, even when you were still bringing her the comfort and love that she wanted at this moment.

Nothing is said after that moment as Claire slowly gets off from bed with your help. Cleaning her face off from all the gunk before changing her into something comfy. Taking off the dress from her body while you help her in one of her t-shirts, trying not to cry at all of the bruises that she has all over her legs along with the burns that seem to be from her bad sun tanning.  You make a mental note for yourself to take care of all the burns on her body in the morning so she isn’t uncomfortable at work.

After countless kisses all over her body, making sure to focus on her legs and thighs ( making a point to focus on her thighs which elicits some hums from her), you get up from the floor, guiding Claire to bed so you can cuddle her. Claire is immediately in heaven as she gets to be the little spoon and her emotions get to her as she starts crying the moment you run your hands through her hair. 

It broke your heart to see her crying, your wife always having to put on a brave face due to her job. All you can do is hold her close to your chest while she gets out all the frustration, madness, and overall sadness from the past couple of days. At that moment all she just wanted to do was cry in your arms, not worry about the aftermath of going to another country in a fucking pandemic, the death of her friend, or even the fact that she lied under oath for a rich asshole who only seemed to want to use her for his benefit. 

“ Claire,” you start off as she removes her head from her chest to look at you with the saddest expression, looking similar to a puppy who got kicked,” you very much deserve the fucking best in life my little bear.” The little nickname that you have for her pushes her over the edge as she starts to kiss you, putting in all of her energy to show you just how much she loves you while you try to push her away as you don’t want to kiss her, just want to have her in your arms. 

“ Hey, why did you stop kissing me?” she says quietly in your lap, a little annoyed at you. 

“ I’d rather have my claire bear in my arms,” you start off,” just want to give you all the comfort after the weekend you must have had my little Claire Bear.” Your wife has no arguments with what you said as she goes back to cuddling you. 

“I do appreciate the kisses though” and you giggle as she perks up, happy to give you many more kisses to thank you for being there. 

“ Can we just stay like this for now? “ she asks. 

“ yes we can my little Claire bear,” you say as the both of you cuddle together, enjoying the comfort that you bring to her and forgetting about all the problems she has. 

The next day rolls around and you are greeted by a sleeping Claire, sleeping  so peacefully, and the constant buss from her phone. Not wanting to worry her pretty little mind, you grab her phone and put it on silent so you can go back to sleep. Deciding that today is just a “ take care of your wife “ kind of day

Wanting to take care of your sweet Claire bear.

Unaware of the consequences that a single yearly tradition with friends brought to both of your lives.

[high-functioning-fang1rl]

Time for some Mother’s Day Fluff because I SAID SO!!! 🥰 I think @barclaysangel @nicascurls @fairchilds-glasses and @silvershewolf247 may appreciate this one cause it made me emotional as HELL.

Nica’s First Mother’s Day:

*****

Nica sighed, setting the paint brush down. Despite her best attempts, she couldn’t seem to focus enough to actually brush what she was picturing on the canvas.

It was Mother’s Day, and regardless of her strained relationship with Sarah, she had woken up missing her mother more than she normally did.

She thought about how much had changed so quickly, staring at the unfinished sunflowers she was painting. She supposed it was macabre, painting the symbol her traumatized mother was haunted by, but recreating the painting her mother had spent countless hours making over and over helped her feel closer to the woman.

“You got a second, honey?” Andy’s voice snapped her out of her thought and back to reality.

Nica managed to smile at her boyfriend, turning away from the easel. “Sure!” She agreed easily.

She followed him out through the cabin, stopping when they reached the dining room.

The first thing she noticed was that all of the kids were there; Junior, Jake, Lexy, Devon, and the twins. A few streamers were hung from the large windows, a small stack of presents piled onto the table next to the most ornate bouquet of flowers that were displayed proudly in the center.

“What’s going on?” She asked slowly. “Did I forget something?”

“HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!” They all shouted in unison.

Confused, Nica simply blinked, and she looked to Andy, finding him leaning against the door, watching her and beaming along with the kids.

“You’ve gotta come open your presents!” Jake told her excitedly.

Stunned, she opened her mouth to reply, only managing a “Wha-? Why?-“

Lexy rolled her eyes affectionately, smiling at her. “It’s Mother’s Day, duh! Of course we got you something.” She explained slowly.

“You know you’re our Mom, right?” Junior said simply, shrugging as if the words didn’t cause Nica’s heart to stop. “In all the ways that count, at least.”

“We’d be pretty shitty kids if we didn’t celebrate you on Mother’s Day.” Devon agreed.

Nica felt like her brain was misfiring, and her heart was racing as she struggled to compute what they were saying. “…You did all of this for ME?”

Junior nodded. “Yeah, Mom. It’s YOUR day. You took us all in when you didn’t have to, and you do everything for us…We wanted to thank you for…everything.”

Her jaw dropped, and tears immediately filled her eyes.

“Oh Jesus don’t CRY!” Junior whined. “It’s the one day we can’t be brats, you better appreciate it!”

A half laugh/half sob was ripped from her chest, and before she could say anything else, she was surrounded, all the kids she thought of as her own hugging her, thanking her, and telling her they loved her.

The rest of the day passed in a blur; the kids had all made her cards and gifts, and with Andy’s help had made sure the afternoon was occupied with all of her favorite activities and foods.

When it was late and the kids had been woken up from their slumber in their “Nica cuddle puddle” on the couch (they’d dozed off halfway through the movie) and had been moved to their beds, Nica and Andy spoke quietly in bed.

“It was all their idea, you know. They came to me with the idea, I just helped them.”

Nica hummed happily. “Really?”

“Really.” He confirmed. “They love you so much.”

Ignoring the lump in her throat Nica admitted “God I love them SO much, Andy. I never thought-especially after Alice…I can’t believe they’d do that for me.”

“What?”

“…Be their Mom.”

Kissing the top of her head Andy murmured “It’s because you’re good at it, baby.”

She snorted drily, though Andy could see the emotion in her eyes. “I don’t know, it still seems crazy I manage four of them on a daily basis, nevermind six when the twins are here.”

“And you manage it beautifully.” He assured her. “Besides, who knows… “ Andy said teasingly, a hint of wistfulness and question in his voice “We may have one of our own some day.”

A slow smile came to her face, and with blushing cheeks and s wide grin Nica just agreed:

“Yeah…yeah, maybe we will.”

*******

Hope you enjoyed! 🥰 I thought we all deserved a little happy fluff! Or at least Nica does 🥹😭 This was so much fun to write! 😍

[tvchi]

The Challenge: About Him

Disclaimers: DO NOT COPY OR REPOST MY WORK. DO NOT TRAIN AI WITH MY WORK.

Warnings: Mature Audiences ONLY: 18+, SMUT, Minors DNI- Nudity, Sexual Intercourse, Spitting, Gagging, Profanity.

Pairing: Jalen Hurts x black female Word Count: 2139

A/N: Alright. Here is where the action is. This is Part 2 of the series. Please heed the warnings up top. This is actual pretty vanilla considering the other things I've written but if you are a minor, SCRAM. As always, your feedback is greatly appreciated because I'm really trying to get better. So Like, Comment, and Reblog as the spirit moves you. ❤️❤️🥰!

If you haven't read Part 1, stop what you're doing and read that first!

Summary: You're chilling with your friends as you update them on what went on in Professor Martinez's class with James. You get an earful about your behavior while they send you spiraling down memory lane.

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 I love hanging out with my friends. They just get me—maybe a little too much. So, naturally, I spoke to them about the showdown after Professor Martinez’s class, and I got an earful.

       “I know you lyin’,” Amber said. “She’s lying, right? I know she lyin’!”

       “So you mean to tell me that fine, chocolate demigod was speaking to you face to face, and you …you insulted him?” Reneé added.

       “It’s the ‘talking about the project’ for me! I wouldn’t be able to talk to that man about nothing except nuttin’. On God!” said Sara.

       “Yall are missing the point. What am I going to do? I can’t have him messing up my work.” I asked.

      “I think we are all in agreement when we say that not only should you make amends with this man, but you should invite us to the breakout session so we can talk about us being sister-wives. That man is F-I-O-N-E,” said Amber.

         I rolled my eyes so hard I thought they were going to get stuck in the back of my head. They all knew that I was on a strict track to get into law school and that I took my GPA seriously. I like to have fun, but I really don’t play about my work, and here they were acting like I was the problem.

       “You know we love you, right?” Sara started, “I just think that maybe you were way too hard on him and making a mountain out of a molehill,” she finished.

       “I’m just going to say it because I think it needs to be said, and I can be the ‘bad guy’ this round. I think you are hard on him for the same reason that you’ve been hard on everyone that has come your way in the past 3 months. You’re still pissed about Devon.” said Reneé.

      My head whipped around so fast to turn in the direction of the Judas in my presence.

     “What did you say?” I asked rhetorically.

     “This man did nothing to you. In fact, a very serious person presented with a group project would approach his or her partner asking about how they should divvy the responsibilities of said project in a fair and equal manner. You bit his head off because… what? He’s a jock. Jocks are students too. He has to get a grade too. I don’t think you’ve even dated and responded to a guy favorably in the last couple of months. I get it. But don’t be scaring off fine, eligible bachelors because of some asshole in your past. That’s crazy.” she rebutted. 

      As I tried to calm my growing resentment towards Reneé and carefully chose my words to reply to this wild accusation, I couldn’t help but think about him. 

      We met at the University’s gallery opening for all of the students in the Thomas School of Art and Architecture. I had taken some classes at the school, and extra credit was given to students who attended the gallery opening. Truth be told, I would have attended without the incentive. There were so many talented creatives at the school, and their work was phenomenal. From the students who wanted to create their own fashion houses, making life-sized framed dresses, to those who experimented with realism and painting life-like portraits. There was something from every different type of creative at this exhibit. Reneé had the dopest exhibit of them all. She made an art installation made entirely of broken glass from liquor bottles she gathered from the entire campus. She sculpted the pieces into a diorama of the university, staying true to the architecture of the different buildings on campus. There was even an interactive portion where you would be told your expected major by a glass representative at the bursar's office, depending on how you answered the prompted questions. As I stood to admire her months of hard work, I walked around the entire installation, and at the end, that’s when we bumped into each other. 

      He stood tall, towering over me. His eyes were deep, almond-shaped, and had a way of eliciting visceral responses that lay dormant in the depths of your intimate parts. His walnut skin gave way to soft facial hair that added a ruggedness to his otherwise clean features. He kept a close crop of hair that he often rubbed in a forward motion in times of nervousness. He had a lean build, doing just enough to make you look twice but not enough to be confused with a professional athlete. The noticeable veins on his forearm made you wonder what his other appendages looked like. 

        I apologized for my clumsiness and tried to move away. He grabbed my arm, pulled me in close, and told me not to leave. He told me that he couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather bump into at this exhibit. We walked around the entire gallery together, discussing pieces. We eventually came to my other favorite piece in the gallery. A bust of a black woman made entirely of rope. It was as technical and intricate as any sculpture or painting, yet the texture was unique. I gushed about the level of skill and patience the artist must have had to create this. 

        “I’m glad you liked it. I wasn’t sure,” he said.

        “Wait,” I choked. “This is you?” He smiled. 

        “I really love this piece, Devon. You really did your thing with this one. You definitely should show it at other galleries,” said a random white male, notably one of the school's instructors. 

        “Thanks, Dean Bright. That means a lot,” He replied coolly.

        As they finished speaking, I tried to saunter off to find Reneé and the other girls.

       “Where you going?” I heard.

       “Oh, I didn’t want to crowd you. I bet a lot of people will want to talk to you about your work. It’s truly amazing,” I said shyly.

      “How about this, I’ll let you know when I think you’re crowding me. But right now,” he stepped closer as he finished, “I need you with me.” 

      He stared into my eyes. At that moment, the din of the room faded to a low, inaudible frequency. It was just the two of us and the silent conversation our eyes held. He took my hand, and we left. 

       We took his car up to his off-campus loft. When we arrived, he got out of the car and opened my door. He pulled me up out of the car and onto the sidewalk. I don’t remember him locking the door. I don’t remember how we got inside the apartment, actually. We crashed into each other in a full-on collision. He tore my dress off of me with brute impatience, leaving me before him in just a lacy thong and breathy anticipation. He smiled wickedly as he took me all in. Before I knew what was happening, my back was against the concrete wall. My legs found his waist and pulled him in close. I buried my face in his, sucking the moisture out of his lips. I wanted more. I craved more. And more, indeed, came. He moved my soaked thong aside and slipped himself inside of me. I gasped for air. His nature was thick and full. I felt every inch, and he found every crevice. I tightened around him. 

     “Shit,” he moaned. 

     He thrusted deeper, and I screamed in pleasure. My head fell back as I tried to steady my breathing. I felt my stomach sink to the bottom, my walls tightened, my eyes rolled back, and I erupted. 

    “Fuuuuuuccckkkk!!” I yelled. 

     I came so hard I thought that I was gonna pass out. He fed me. Repeatedly. As I tried to recover, lifted my waist up to his lips to drink from me. My head hung upside down while he hoisted me up, hugging my midsection to his chest tightly while my back rested up against his abs. He was still at full attention, making his presence known against the upper portion of my back. He ate as though he was starving. I couldn’t contain myself. Overwhelmed with so many sensations, I felt myself tightening again. 

    “Relax your body,” he said. “You taste so damn good. I want you to taste yourself. I’m going to drink from you. Imma spit it down, and I want you to catch it, okay.”

    “Mmmm…Don’t talk with your mouth full,” I managed in between moans. He smirked. 

     His fingers never stopped working as I dangled mid-air. He worked his tongue over my clit, making sure not to miss an inch of my pearl. He came up for air; he shot some of my sweet sap up in the air through the tiny space between his front teeth. The tiny fountain of nectar landed in my opened mouth as I made sure I caught every drop. He continued drinking from my well until I came again. He lifted me up. Lightheaded, spent, and weak, I stumbled onto him. He caught me and chuckled. He carried me into his bedroom and laid me down. My back hit the cool sheets as I try to make sense of everything that happened. He studied me intently. I wondered what he was thinking. I wondered if it was then that he decided that he was going to use me and leave me in a world of pain and confusion. 

        Amber was in front of me now. She was speaking about something that I couldn’t quite make out when Sara decided that we should all play a game. 

       “So it seems that we are collectively in a man rut,” Sara started.

       “Speak for yourself, hoe!” Reneé blurted out as she grabbed another drink.

       “ANYWAAAAY, “ she said as she rolled her eyes and brought her attention back to Amber and me. “ Like I was saying, it seems like we are in a bit of a hard place when it comes to men. I think maybe we are thinking too hard about everything. We are still young, and dating men should be fun—not a chore. So I propose that we do a challenge,” she finished with a gleam in her eyes. 

       “Uh oh,” I said, looking at Amber.

      “Girl, the last time you had us do one of your challenges, we were on the toilet for weeks,” Amber cried.

     “Here me out! What if we just said “yes” whenever we were faced with a proposition or a situation that we would otherwise say “no” to. Nothing too crazy or anything that would put our lives in jeopardy. No creeps, but what if we just said “yes” for like one month. Amber, you can say “yes” to going out with white boy Greg from Cali even though he’s white because life is short and meals are expensive. Adaobi, you can work on that couples project with fine ass James…” Sara said 

    “I am not dating him. Our thing is different. It’s a class project; he’s not my man, so I’m kinda exempt from this,” I interrupted. 

    “Nice try, but you don’t even look at men anymore, girl. So the fact this fine one is speaking to you at all, given the way you’ve been growling at every man in sight, is a miracle. You’re doing this challenge,” said Reneé.

     “Thank you, Reneé. And you, Reneé, maybe we should start a “no” challenge for you because we can’t keep up with your sexual exploits anymore. Ever think about saying “yes” to a friendship without benefits?” asked Sara.

    “Bite me, bitch! Hating is not a good look on you,” she sneered.

    “Are we all in or what?” Sara asked. 

    The whole room looked at me. It seems like I wasn’t getting out of this one. 

   “Fine,” I said begrudgingly.

   “Yay! It’s a go. Here’s to having fun again,” Sara said as she raised her glass of Bacardi and Coke to toast.

   “Cheers!!!” we all said in unison.

    As I sat my glass down on the coaster to my left, Reneé plopped down beside me. “And don’t think for a second you're gonna wiggle your way out of this. I got a friend that is cool with James and goes to your class. I’ll spy on you if I have to.” she threatened.

    The last time Reneé threatened me, she got two of her friends with benefits to break into my dorm, pick me out of bed, and hoist me into the tub, then she hosed me down while I was still in my pajamas. It had been five days since Devon and I refused to leave the dorms. I never saw her so angry in my life. I knew then that she was capable of setting the world on fire if she had to. I also knew that I would have to make nice with James.

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Here is Part 1 Click here for Part 3

Tags: @thecapodomme @writers-of-tmblr @melaninpov @spaceslutsworld @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @mymusicbias @the-black-label @master-builder42 @miraculously-dumb-bitch @megamindsecretlair @hopefulromantic1 @tranquilfandomer @thadelightfulone @vivalaorgasm @hotgrlcece @planetblaque @blackgurlnhermoods @sweettea-and-honeybutter @andriaharris @kumkaniudaku @theblacklewinsky @nun0ir @iloveorangesworld @cocogoddess0g