#i dunno. i want someone to genuinely like me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
hi i have two (2) questions
are you the person on yt that makes those masm sun x moon comps... bc if so, i have watched those so many times and im losing my mind i love them so much thank u for the content
bwahaha what are ur opinions on the episodes from today n yesterday (11/28 and 29) :3 ... rip any chance for sun and moon to be together legitimately EAHAHGFHA
OH HAIII
AJALDHWKD YEAHHH IT'S MEE KICKS A ROCK,,, OMGG YOU'VE SEEN THOSE AHWLFHEKFHWJJFD thank you so much for watching my silly compilations<'3333, the gays got me a YouTube editor arc fr
AND UHHHGHEJSWJHXKSFJ I HAVE SOSOSOSO MUCH TO SAAAY MANNNNNN YEAH ugbsuwhfjd iii guess we'll never have them siiigh idk what do i expect from this bois (no hate, just used to it)...
with complete honesty i do not support moon using a love potion on sun, HE SHOULD'VE TRIED SOMETHING ELSE, BE BETTER TO HIM, ANYTHING BUT THAAAT but then again my goodness he's so clueless he's so dumb he's SO INNOCENT AHWLFHEKF MY GUY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND EMOTIONS NO ONE HAS ACTUALLY GUIDED HIM PROPERLY TO KNOW WHAT TO DO, YEAH "BE NICER" BUT TELL HIM HOOOOW HE'S TOO SILLY
forcing someone to love you with love potions is crazy and not good, THEN AGAIN, MORAL?? SUN DID THE SAME AND NO ONE WAS TRASHING ON HIM FOR IT, THEY THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY HSQLHD??? and also
i
had so many cute little sun x moon moments without moon actually breaking any boundary MORE THAN JUST GIVING HIM A LIL KISSY ON THE CHEEK that i can't truly be grossed out by it
IT WAS ON HIS CHEEK WHEN IT COULD'VE BEEN ON HIS LIPS!!!! AND HE DIDN'T!!!! HE RESPECTS HIM!!!!! WJLSGEKJD
he was GENUINELY BEING SO NICE TO HIM, MY BOY WENT TO MAAAAKE CUPCAKES FOR HIM, NOT EVEN BUY, MAKE, HE MADE 129 CUPCAKES CAUSE DIDN'T KNOW WICH ONE WOULD HE LIKE THE MOOOSTGHJSJHSJSHSH
and and abqndbwnndbebfkf
don't get me wrong i don't HATE or despise Roxanne, i just don't like they're making her this DIRTY, THAT EVIL LAUGH GOT ME DEATH STARING AT MY PHONE AHQKHFKWGH ??? WHY WOULD SHE ACT LIKE THAAAT
on god was it just for the potion i would support her but this
THIS
TAKING SUN ON A DATE RIGHT AFTER HEARING HOW HEARTBROKEN MOON WAS???? THAT'S NOT COOL ROXANNE
they're all so fricking dumb dumb blocky dummies omg
AND DUDE MOON WASN'T EVEN MAD (yet) AT ROXANNE, HE WAS JUST SHOCKED AND SAD AND WALKED AWAYYYYYY, UGHHHHDWJZJS HE LITERALLY PROVED HE WOULD BE A GOOD BOYFRIEND
UGH MOONNNNN IF YOU ONLY HAD AN IDEA OF WHAT TO DO TO MAKE SUN THINK IT THROUGH AGAINNNNN
ughhhanshnebf but i guess by sun's words he will never like moon, i guess, i suppose, i dunno, i'm so saaaaaaaaaaad i just want my gay people, why is that so much to ask foooor THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE LOVEY DOVEY I JUST WANT THEM TO PLAY TOGETHER AND MOON GETTING SUN A LITTLE FLUSTERED AGAINNNN I CAN HAVE THAAAAT
anyway anygay......... i still like my ship
i respectfully don't fw roxanne x sun.......
and i am doomed to like doomed yaoi
THANKS FOR THE QUESTIONSSSS AAA
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
so me n sibling finished rise rewatch with all the newfound turtle lore after our big tmnt media binge......... many feelings i wanna get out
firstable........ how anyone watched this show and didnt think those were the ninja turtles in purest form i will never understand. like you cannot deny any of these characters being the same characters but with new roles to fill. raph is the protector. mikey is the heart. leo is the strategist. donnie is the brain. it just created a new dynamic, but never strayed very far from what came before
second....... take the ninja turtles and just hammer home a story about generational trauma and healing from it, giving them strength from how much they love and trust each other.... you break my heart wide open i am crying
to me they are the best amalgamation of all the turtles who came before them like: silly and sweet like 87, they have this close familial understanding unconditional love like 03, and this overarching story of bringing a family back together like 12
started this watch of all turtle media because rise on its own felt so good, but having gone back and seen all the other pieces i was missing makes me appreciate what it was doing more, because i felt every other series and movie in this one in spirit, but with the ideals of the modern cartoon saying: hey kids, its okay to ask for help, youre not alone, your feelings matter, and the people around you should support you
and on top of that, obviously the most visually stunning version to date, utilizing years of lessons learned from western cartoons and anime, meshing together in breathtaking action, but also having the most hilariously snappy comedic animation that uses what seem like cheap movements of a frame to make every line of dialogue all the more hysterical, and having these very expressive characters be able to be very subtle in the touching emotional moments.
i genuinely love this show so much and i feel really stupid for not having watched it sooner, and the fact it is the shortest of all the shows that never got the chance to finish its story makes me so sad. but at least what story it did get to tell was beautiful.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rottmnt#unpause rise of the tmnt#tmnt#thoughts#idk i have a lot of feelings about them and im sad people didnt give it a chance#and for the dumbest reasons too#listen to me when i tell you every other turtle show has had a weapon swap out and that that is the dumbest reason ive ever heard#bitches dont even know about 87 mikey and his grappling hook#or the 2 times in 03 they got new weapons#or the fact 12 mikey has a kusarigama#but really they made leo not a leader so they could make him a character on his own and he really does shine#im just sad he didnt get to finish his arc of becoming leader#anyway....yes i finally watched this show in the first place because i saw an amv of raph with surface pressure#and as a bitch with oldest sibling traumas i was like uh oh is this for me#and it was!#i dunno sorry for long post out of nowhere as someone whos been uh... no talky on internet for past.....5 years?#its just unearthed a want to be creative in me and i genuinely havent felt passion like that in all that time
258 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes i see a post and its like. hm. you actually care very little about the story or characters or plot at all bc all you want is for the token male twinks to kiss.
#i KNOW i know. tumblr. twink kissing website.#but still. genuinely.#my criteria for if i trust someone's takes on voltron are their opinions on allura and hunk. and ships other than klance.#and the non-romantic relationships also. that's a big main one actually.#has not led me astray yet.#like to clarify i LIKE klance ok. i am an enjoyer of them. but idk.....the way that theyre the Only thing anyone writes/cares about.#like yeah klance was done dirty but what about the characters of color. what about the disabled characters.#what about the platonic relationships. what about the familial relationships. what about the themes of war and genocide and imperialism.#what about the very real queerbait that happened right in front of us but everyone ignored#and whined about the fake made up queerbait that happened in their heads.#idk. people can engage with media however they want and its not a horrible world ending thing if they only view it thru the twinks kissing#but i dunno. viewing media with the shipping lens can blind you to all the other things.#AND I KNOW THE IRONY OF POINTING THIS OUT FOR *VOLTRON* OF ALL THINGS. I KNOWWW I KNOW I KNOW.#its not a problem that is exclusively this fandom either i see it everywhere. side eyes buddie fandom.#but idk man. im sick of not being able to find fic/art/meta that is focused on things other than the twinks kissing.#i think thats why im putting such a big focus on the other relationships in quintenary stars tbh. like there IS klance#or will be eventually but its just one of the relationships that will be happening. theyre found family theres siblings theres friends#theres the Themes and the Motifs and the storytelling devices. et cetera et cetera.#anyway this isnt really directed at anyone im just thinking out loud#winter speaks#voltron#anti klance#<- not really???? but i dont want ppl yelling at me so.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
AAAH I have a mutual who’s 18 and he sorta kinda is flirting with this one guy who is a minor as a joke of course ( to which a concerned anon said that it’s weird ) but I can’t help but flashback to er*s
#granted the er*s situation was thoroughly complex and the reason she did those things was her copism with not being able to pull ( LLLLLLL )#and ik that guy doesn’t mean any harm etc etc he’s not messed up like some ppl#BUT I DUNNO STILL#sobbing#they’re pretty sweet so#hes*#OH AND HES IRAQI TOO I LEGIT COULDNT BELIEVE THAT#dora daily#lowkey kinda sorta sad that a whole anon was more concerned than ppl i knew and who knew my age#and freely saw it happen so readily#and everyone else on that blog#genuinely and utterly disappointed#it’s always protect minors until the minors need protecting goddamn#this is especially directed at rhy yeah I’m not censoring that#🤷♀️#too busy simping over minor characters who don’t have a time skip in canon and aging them up then complaining about it when ppl call out#the brain deadery of that behaviour#girl pls#you did not care about minors from the beginning literally bye#e[redacted] literally ruined my brain chemistry to say the least I will never go into how what she did absolutely muddled my brain never#told anyone and I don’t think I can ever tell someone ever#not to mention practically hyperventilating being unable to breath literally going into madness and ppl think that I’m overreacting and#telling me to shut up about it and blaming me for the situation as if I wanted any of this#lmaolmaolmao#all that and I was expected to do uni girl byeeee I need a good century to recover at least ☠️#the only thing I DID want is friends but clearly that was a hard ask when ppl can get friends just by existing on this god forsaken app#atp I don’t even know what to say literally just wth#yall say mdni with your dumbass banners and decorate it like something special when yall are the ones to keep from minors you disgusting#wastes of clean oxygen 😭 mdni my foot gross ass adults should’ve never trusted them#the way I’d give them therapy to their complex traumas ☠️ imagine relying on a minor for therapy
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's not going too well
#cw vent#but#:[ i feel so baaad about it idk#one of the only things im known for in school is self harm and i dont wanna go back tomorrow#and now it feels like sh is basically my only recognisable thing#so everytime i look down at my arms and see scars fading away i just feel so terrible about it#what am i doing? why am i not cutting myself tahts what im meant to do thats what ive always done!! thats all anubody wants from me#i kinda really don't like how#basically everykne in my school really doesn't like me much cuz all i really have going is that i cut myself#have autism#and may or may not be a tranny#even though all of those things are things that are true qnd i dont even think they're bad things#i just. i dunno. i feel bad. like genuinely they have one thing they want me to do#and thats hurting myself!! but im not even doinf that right now#this is so dumb. all my problems are dumb as fuck huh#im so scared of school now#its not even just how the people act#when i go into the corridors there are so many people#so when im finally alone it always feels like theres someone behjdn me. its scaring meee i dunno. i hate school#please dont make me go back tgere. wait no what do you mean this is gonna be another three or so years#and even after those threes years i still have to go to university.. and get a job#this is the rest of my life i think and that makes me sad#i really tried to like school i tried so so hard to like school#but its so difficult. too many people too many noises#too many rumours and too many ableists#there are also too many tags on this post#but rlly the bad part of school has never been the work for me. im a dumbass but i do like learning#weh. dont make me go back. can i sleep for 72 hours instead of going to school#i hate walking into that stupid building everyday and being able to feel everybodys eyes go onto me#its all so scary. i should stop venting on here but i probably won't im sorry
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
whats the point of me doing anything if all its going to get is people laughing at me
#gross ugly messy sobbing right now#i just want to be taken serously#i dunno. i want someone to genuinely like me#im gonna fucking die alone both literally and figuratively#luke.txt#drunkposting#im so stupid im so stupid#i wasnt supposed to drink today anyway#im such a stupid idiot failure who isnt good for anything#im getting so many job rejection emails#every day its a new one#im not good for anything#sorry
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
it would be really cool if I could have a day this month where I wasn’t so chronically afraid it felt like my intestines were twisted into a möbius strip. Because ya’know- I really like my digestive tract being an orientable manifold. If that’s all the same to the universe.
#it’s the grad school applications I think. It’s really really getting to me#I just. I dunno. It’s hard to eat. Sleep. Talk to people. I try my best but yeah. This is most of what I think about all the time.#Is it normal to feel this bad because of them? Like is this typical levels of graduate school application stress?#The stakes feel so high even though I know they’re not. If I don’t get in I just apply for a job and then reapply to grad school later#But I think it goes deeper than that. The idea of grad school applications has got me really closely examining myself and…#I genuinely worry I’m just- a kinda mediocre mathematician at best#I’ve been starting to feel really insecure about how slow my processing speed is. Would anyone want to invest in someone like me??#Who does legitimately have disabilities that make efficiently solving problems harder for me than most?#My dad once told me I’m not capable of thinking like a mathematician. Because I’m so slow. He encouraged me not to major in it.#I’m really happy I disregarded him. I can’t imagine doing anything else. I love math and I love research. But I wonder if he was right#I guess it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. I’m going to do math whether I’m cut out for it or not. And if that has to be recreational#Because no graduate school wants me. Then so be it.#But I do really want to go to graduate school. I really love the grad level classes I’ve done.#I really hope I make it#vent#graduate school jeremiad#research jeremiad
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i thinkkk. that cypher when given the chance would actually be very indulgent. idk i have nothing really to base this off of but to me he feels like someone that would want to spoil a partner. i don't think he gets the chance to do nice things for people very often.
#i think it'd come through even More with his kid if he ever VISITED THEM.#gush:{♟️}#i guess to me it feels like. i dunno part of i think is he'd just genuinely want to spoil someone but also i do feel like that comes with-#the thought that people can be 'bought.' likeee. he can make up for never being open with people if he buys extravagant things for them.#it's not the whole reason ofc part of it is that he Genuinely Wants To but i think that mindset would make sense considering-#how secretive he is in every other aspect of his life.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
The absolute MISERY of wanting to be Explicitly Nice to someone but not knowing if itll Make It Weird. I hate emotional vulnerability i hate direct communication i want to telepathically transmit affection to random people and never speak a word of my feelings.
#nothing makes me feel vulnerable like wanting to tell someone something genuinely nice. it is so stupid#currently this is abt me wanting to tell my fellow lesbian basketball teammate that shes the first butch ive met irl. my age#(also dunno if she IDs as butch so even there like id have to find a different way to phrase it yk)#but just like. its been nice. the season is wrapping up. i just want to say im glad i met you but HOW#god its wretched#its also a problem i frequently face in many situations its just oj my mind rn#my shit
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
fuck my ex friend frfr
#vent#dunno. just remembered her last message again#im glad we're not friends anymore. and will never be#im straight up not going to talk to someone like her ever again. thanks#i got enough of That type of human in the 'ex friend' category. seriously#for context: told my friends i was proship. they were ok with it. liked some proship stuff on twitter.#my friend got recommended it. this friend blocked me not only on twitter but everywhere.#and they kicked me from a very important server to me. and i think they didn't plan on telling me. had to ask one of the friends#(bless them i still love tgem /p great person) about the reason#and months later the first ex friend wrote me a message with no ability to reply to them. :)#and she basically said 'i can't associate with you. if only you'd change then we could be friends again'#and a lot more stuff but the details are already fuzzy in my mind! i have garbage cleaners installed in my brain <3#so yeah the more i think about it the more i realize just how much better i feel without her#do miss that second friend. hey. if any of u stalk me or whatever? please send best wishes to syu#i genuinely want them to be okay and happy. seriously
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
sources are a weird ass thing im definitely canon compliant. very compliant. to the point ive scared some of our friends by acting accurate to shit we havent witnessed in source yet. but god damn being a fictive of a very well known fandom is so goddamn surreal. when i first showed up here- in our brain, in this world or whatever the hell you wanna call it- i was greeted with strangers saying hi, greeting me like an old friend. people i didnt know knew my name and things about me that i wasnt even sure of. made jokes about parts of my life that i didnt know anyone knew about. it fuckin threw me off. it still throws me off. people know me when i show my face. people talk to me familiarly or bring up my source. dont get me wrong its pretty sweet, if i hated it id just change my name or some shit. if i gave enough of a shit id hide who i am. but its a little surreal. by this point im so used to the expectation of people knowin me that it confuses me when they dont. and thats fucking weird isnt it. imagine walkin into some group of people and opening your mouth and everyone just goes 'oh hey dude'. youre sitting here racking your brain trying to find out where youve met all these people. how you couldve plausibly met all these people as they include you in the chat and you come up with nothin. you dont know em. but they know you. intricately. its damn weird. feels kinda like a pressure to be me. which isnt a bad thing i dont hate bein me, but. there are parts of me i know arent what they want of me. theres this underlying knowledge that theyre makin assumptions about me because of who i am and what they know. its like i can feel the cogs in their brain grease up and fire off with the knowledge we both know in our head. that youre expectin something of me and i know that aint me. im compliant but im not perfect. as fun as it is to have a well known source it also feels kinda fucked up. people expect a lot outta me and im just me. ill never stop bein just *me*. whether thats compliant or not isnt my problem, but i can *feel* the expectations and assumptions about me and my life. the jokes shot off by strangers. the comments about material i know about but man thats me. im just me. nothing more nothing less. im just a guy. a kid doin his best out here. i dont know how i feel about being 'famous'.
#dave (he/him)#rambling#literally just spitting my shit at 1am#dunno if anyone else relates but wow#those expectations sure do exist#im not gonna elaborate#i know if i do ill get people on my ass about it.#and im too cool to give my time to that shit#(dont wanna deal with it)#a lot of the time i feel like im mirroring my source self subconsciously to appeal to the masses#but im just me. im just like that#fictive#actually plural#plural system#if any of our friends see this i swear it aint aimed at yall#you guys are free to do what you want and i GENUINELY dont care#i always feel this weird mix of acknowledgment and dread when someone mentions my source to me#like hell yeah man that IS me. im that guy#but also#oh god. you know me. youre expecting a lot outta me huh.#i know what youre thinkin. i know what youre assuming about me.#im not your guy. leave me out of your spotlight#standard joy of being known vs mortifying ordeal of being known shit#yknow#damn
1 note
·
View note
Text
uughhhhhhhhh
#perhaps we’re simply too different#but i dunno#is it really so much to vent in order to get something off your chest and to seek comfort in someone else?#i mean. evidently not. considering how much you do it#but i don’t say anything because i care about you and want you to feel better#and i *like* being there for you!!!! i *want* to be there to support you!!!!!!#like genuinely. i really don’t mind#but when i do it#then it’s. different. i suppose#sigh. whatever. whatever#really glad you trust me like that! really fucking wish i could say the same about you!#i don’t expect you to be my damn therapist i just want someone who will fucking listen#is that truly so much to ask?#eughhhh#this post is directed at nobody here etc etc#🪶.txt#unrelated thoughts
1 note
·
View note
Text
Hrrrnggg food struggles are hard and stupid and I hate them
#thomas gets me food thats pretty much explicitly and only for me#bc im a weirdo that likes certain foods that just arent gotten often in this house#plus its easier for me to pick smth to eat when i know im not taking it away from someone else#but his brother took some of my food and is now wanting it more and now im like#wow cool i have to share. aka be afraid of taking food from someone else#even tho i shouldnt fucking give a shit i know i shouldnt#but god im. mad abt it#i dunno.#sucks living with ppl you dont know/trust w/ your everything#food shits always been hard for me im. genuinely actually upset#over fucking chicken nuggets. i feel stupid but im so upset#go from starving constantly to the point of regular stomach pains#to relying solely on the food thats in the house you moved into and making ppl upset in the process#and ruining your own gut from only drinking soda#and now that i have food regularly for myself only its suddenly being taken from me#i dunno its fucking stupid its just nuggets
0 notes
Text
"You are pretty annoying"
"Did you just call me pretty?"
You are delusional if you think that your boyfriend Bakugo would ever hold his thoughts about you, even if they're bad.
You've been in this weird relationship for years where you yap his ear off, and he teases in return. Your friends find it amusing, actually.
Your relationship with him didn't begin in the best terms. In fact, he found you annoying and overly friendly for his liking.
You always found a way to enter in people's lives without being nosy, it wasn't the typical psychology complex when people try so hard to be involve in everyone's lives just because they need to find a solution to help themselves feel good. You genuinely cared about others, and these others found you easy to talk to.
Among other people, you were one of the most popular girls in UA. With your big smile and obnoxious laugh, Bakugo thought you were fake. Always laughing at shitty hair bad jokes, and cluelessly chatting with that monoma prick like he wasn't messing with you to rile you up (which apparently never worked)
One day, he saw you from afar and pretended to walk the other way to not run to your face.
"Hey, Bakugo!" You exclaimed running after him.
He cursed lowly, and his shoulders tensed a little bit.
"Hey"
He didn't want to talk to anyone. It wasn't personal this time.
"What's with that face? You look like Deku said something"
Your statement felt like you left your words hanging, like you were missing some important complement.
Something like...what?
"Huh? What do you mean?" He squinted his eyes at you, finally stopping in his tracks.
"I dunno," you shrugged, losing your characteristics smile. "You always put that face when Deku opens his mouth. It doesn't matter what he says. You always end up like that"
Deku, in fact, said something, but that wasn't the point. The main point was you reading him so well to the end that he'd never said anything to you, but you still knew what happened to him.
That day, he started paying attention to you, too, and he changed his mind about you being fake.
After months of getting to know each other, you two formed something very unique and cliché at the same time. The famous grumpy x sunshine thrope characterized by the angry pomeranian and the chatty girl that everyone liked. The unique part was Bakugo actually getting involved with someone else.
In the present, he still resents, but admires, the way you always develop in big groups, how every room seems to light up the moment you walk in, and of course, how you read him to perfection.
You two have been laying on his bed for the entire noon, and you've been trying for half an hour to make him talk about his friendship with Deku, now that he openly accepted that he is his friend, You've been pushing the man to tell you how he really feels about apologizing and getting him back after chasing him when Deku thought that it was for the best move away.
"For fucks sake, can you stop?" He tells you grabbing your hips and tickling the skin under your shirt.
"I'm just trying to coaxe you to tell me what you really feel. You know it's not healthy for your mind and body to keep your emotions bottled. You are a person, not a ticking bomb waiting to explode. " You try carresing his neck with your fingerpads.
He looks at you from his side of his bed, and his brows get knitted while his nose scrunch a little.
"What?" You ask at his demeanor.
"You are pretty annoying," he says with a gruff voice, moving one of his hands from your hip to the back of your head, entangling his fingers with your hair.
Your smile widens.
"Did you just call me pretty?"
Now you are showing your full smile, teeth, dimples, and all, the whole package. He can't help it. The butterflies erupt in the pit of his stomach, and the tip of his ears turns in a pink hue.
"Dumbass," he said, rolling his eyes and flicking your forehead.
God, getting to know you was the best that ever happened to him.
#mha x reader#bnha bakugou#my hero academia#bakugo x reader#bakugo headcanons#mha bakugo katsuki#bakugo smut#bakugou smut#katsuki bakugo x reader#my hero academy fanfiction#my hero academia x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#mha bakugou#katsuki bakugo#bakugo katsuki#bnha drabble#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugo x reader#mha fluff#mha fanfiction#mha
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
man. ppl who hate ppl using tone indicators bum me out!
#tbh dont feel like posting an indepth explanation#but its like. wow way to make other autistics who benefit from them#feel like theyre not doing their best to adapt the 'right' way#like u dont gotta use them but ppl r so mean abt them...#some ppl have a harder time w certain social aspects and they were helpful!#but now im never comfortable using them publicly#bc i feel like ill be Judged for it#like man i WISH the autistic community on any site was actually like#capable of uplifting other autistics#even the ones they cant relate to :(#or who they dont think are 'doing social stuff right' as if thats not WHY ppl may have tried them in the first place!#dunno. communications hard for me a lot and i found them helpful!#the main ones were rly useful for me#(dunno if this makes any sense but dunno!#it genuinely bums me out and its my blog . do what i want. try to say things best i can .......)#to reiterate idc abt some ppl not wanting to use them!!!#i specifically mean like#the weird animosity yowards ppl who DO use them#it feels a little pointlessly mean#esp as someone who struggles a loooot socially esp w knowing how to convey my emotions+intent esp under pressure#and sometimes have very limited words to work w
1 note
·
View note
Text
I think I kinda like you. But I care more about watching you grow. And I can be patient. (I can grow myself in the meantime. Maybe we’ll meet halfway. Maybe we’ll only observe eachother’s growth in parallel. Maybe that’s for the best. But that’s okay.)
#tiger’s musings#if things stay somewhat parasocial? that really is okay#I just really love that sunlight feeling when things are genuinely friendly#that stillness with a gentle breeze next to a pond if we’re both calm and can just rest quietly#and watching him blossom in realtime with gentle cat’s tongue encouragement and teasing#i dunno what ‘type’ of love this is. i’m too aro and inexperienced to know for certain#but I could definitely spend more time coaxing relief and watching him blossom as a result. I really could#and…I just don’t /care/ if it’s friendship or romantic or whatever.#I really do want a secured friendship#but I think if we both continue to heal in parallel even if Nothing Else?#that’ll be okay. because we’re both growing#I know that just having him nearby makes me want to be kinder and gentler and more assertive and Try Again with my creativity#and these were already existing goals mind you#but having people in my life (which i do. online friends y’all know who you are)#just gives me that extra push I often need#and…I really don’t know all what happened to him and his family. I just recognize things when I see it#but…I think he’s definitely warming up to me now. and I swear in some ways I get to see that healing#and…it’s just so satisfying to witness.#like. yes I really really would love to have someone to hang out with and brainstorm with who’s HERE#but. if all that happens is we both heal by being in eachother’s orbit a bit removed#then…guess I’ll be okay with that. we still made positive impacts albeit somewhat indirectly#anyway. we’ll see#(and…honestly? somewhat parasocial is safer. y’know. because Life Crap when you’re queer vs environments)
1 note
·
View note