#i dunno. i want someone to genuinely like me
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metamelonisle · 2 days ago
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(keep in mind this post is not planned out and i am largely speaking from my thoughts)
i know people like to clown on white cishet men who explain that they're right-wing because they were told they were inherently evil or cruel or only capable of destruction or manipulation by everyone around them, and people mostly interpret that as "i learned white people did bad stuff in the past and this made me hate the WOKE left" when the truth is genuinely so much more harrowing.
being told you're inherently, irredeemably evil for reasons you didn't pick and can't change by the people around you that otherwise claim to champion "justice" and "humanity" for practically your entire life is genuinely traumatizing. being treated like an irredeemable boogeyman by people who don't even know you simply for how you were born is traumatizing. it doesn't matter if you have some sort of societal advantage or safety net. pain and trauma is subjective and shaped by perspective and experience, and i can guarantee that that this sort of experience hurts and it hurts bad.
like. i know there are lots of queer people who are former right-wingers, and i am willing to bet that a lot of them were right-wingers because until they realized they were queer, they were actively barred from even looking into queer spaces and demonized until they wanted nothing to do with it at all. and then they, like any normal person would do, simply joined up with people that accepted them. and then they changed, and those friends weren't so accepting anymore, and then suddenly the old community that scorned them for was accepting them with open arms.
and the reason why i know this pain so clearly is because. well. I'VE been dehumanized for things i can't control my entire life! I KNOW what that shit is like and it's horrific! I don't care if it's satisfying to give "them" "a taste of their own medicine", stop giving that pain to people! You're only making things worse!
i dont know how to say this but even if your dehumanization isn't systemically supported it can and will still traumatize people and fuck up their sense of self and there are people who absolutely will pounce on that opportunity that you have created and you will have no control over who those people are.
i dunno how to close this but i guess the message i want you, the audience, to take away from this is to stop generalizing people as evil just because of their body or blood. you don't know these people. you don't know their lives. their stories. you don't know their values, and you cannot make that judgement based on appearance alone.
i get that you're scared. i get that we're all scared. but i swear to god, you cannot fucking do this to anyone. from a humanist stance, it's unethical to prematurely judge someone as an enemy for something they cannot change about themselves, like their lineage or face. from a pragmatic stance, you are ensuring an enemy that could have otherwise become an ally. but by all means, leave that white boy alone.
i dunno if this is controversial but im gonna say this as a brown trans woman. i think now is absolutely 100% not the time (not like it ever WAS the time but ESPECIALLY not now) to be generalizing men (especially white cishet men) as inherently evil or right-wing and isolating all of them on principle. i cannot possibly further emphasize how vulnerable all of us are and i understand that when people are scared we will naturally want to shift into us vs. them to try and keep ourselves protected. but in so many ways that mentality only enforces a shallow illusion of safety and all it ultimately does is push out people who otherwise would have gladly stood by you because you were too afraid of them to treat them with respect
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bulbabutt · 2 years ago
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so me n sibling finished rise rewatch with all the newfound turtle lore after our big tmnt media binge......... many feelings i wanna get out
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firstable........ how anyone watched this show and didnt think those were the ninja turtles in purest form i will never understand. like you cannot deny any of these characters being the same characters but with new roles to fill. raph is the protector. mikey is the heart. leo is the strategist. donnie is the brain. it just created a new dynamic, but never strayed very far from what came before
second....... take the ninja turtles and just hammer home a story about generational trauma and healing from it, giving them strength from how much they love and trust each other.... you break my heart wide open i am crying
to me they are the best amalgamation of all the turtles who came before them like: silly and sweet like 87, they have this close familial understanding unconditional love like 03, and this overarching story of bringing a family back together like 12
started this watch of all turtle media because rise on its own felt so good, but having gone back and seen all the other pieces i was missing makes me appreciate what it was doing more, because i felt every other series and movie in this one in spirit, but with the ideals of the modern cartoon saying: hey kids, its okay to ask for help, youre not alone, your feelings matter, and the people around you should support you
and on top of that, obviously the most visually stunning version to date, utilizing years of lessons learned from western cartoons and anime, meshing together in breathtaking action, but also having the most hilariously snappy comedic animation that uses what seem like cheap movements of a frame to make every line of dialogue all the more hysterical, and having these very expressive characters be able to be very subtle in the touching emotional moments.
i genuinely love this show so much and i feel really stupid for not having watched it sooner, and the fact it is the shortest of all the shows that never got the chance to finish its story makes me so sad. but at least what story it did get to tell was beautiful.
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scattered-winter · 10 months ago
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sometimes i see a post and its like. hm. you actually care very little about the story or characters or plot at all bc all you want is for the token male twinks to kiss.
#i KNOW i know. tumblr. twink kissing website.#but still. genuinely.#my criteria for if i trust someone's takes on voltron are their opinions on allura and hunk. and ships other than klance.#and the non-romantic relationships also. that's a big main one actually.#has not led me astray yet.#like to clarify i LIKE klance ok. i am an enjoyer of them. but idk.....the way that theyre the Only thing anyone writes/cares about.#like yeah klance was done dirty but what about the characters of color. what about the disabled characters.#what about the platonic relationships. what about the familial relationships. what about the themes of war and genocide and imperialism.#what about the very real queerbait that happened right in front of us but everyone ignored#and whined about the fake made up queerbait that happened in their heads.#idk. people can engage with media however they want and its not a horrible world ending thing if they only view it thru the twinks kissing#but i dunno. viewing media with the shipping lens can blind you to all the other things.#AND I KNOW THE IRONY OF POINTING THIS OUT FOR *VOLTRON* OF ALL THINGS. I KNOWWW I KNOW I KNOW.#its not a problem that is exclusively this fandom either i see it everywhere. side eyes buddie fandom.#but idk man. im sick of not being able to find fic/art/meta that is focused on things other than the twinks kissing.#i think thats why im putting such a big focus on the other relationships in quintenary stars tbh. like there IS klance#or will be eventually but its just one of the relationships that will be happening. theyre found family theres siblings theres friends#theres the Themes and the Motifs and the storytelling devices. et cetera et cetera.#anyway this isnt really directed at anyone im just thinking out loud#winter speaks#voltron#anti klance#<- not really???? but i dont want ppl yelling at me so.
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kavehater · 7 months ago
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AAAH I have a mutual who’s 18 and he sorta kinda is flirting with this one guy who is a minor as a joke of course ( to which a concerned anon said that it’s weird ) but I can’t help but flashback to er*s
#granted the er*s situation was thoroughly complex and the reason she did those things was her copism with not being able to pull ( LLLLLLL )#and ik that guy doesn’t mean any harm etc etc he’s not messed up like some ppl#BUT I DUNNO STILL#sobbing#they’re pretty sweet so#hes*#OH AND HES IRAQI TOO I LEGIT COULDNT BELIEVE THAT#dora daily#lowkey kinda sorta sad that a whole anon was more concerned than ppl i knew and who knew my age#and freely saw it happen so readily#and everyone else on that blog#genuinely and utterly disappointed#it’s always protect minors until the minors need protecting goddamn#this is especially directed at rhy yeah I’m not censoring that#🤷‍♀️#too busy simping over minor characters who don’t have a time skip in canon and aging them up then complaining about it when ppl call out#the brain deadery of that behaviour#girl pls#you did not care about minors from the beginning literally bye#e[redacted] literally ruined my brain chemistry to say the least I will never go into how what she did absolutely muddled my brain never#told anyone and I don’t think I can ever tell someone ever#not to mention practically hyperventilating being unable to breath literally going into madness and ppl think that I’m overreacting and#telling me to shut up about it and blaming me for the situation as if I wanted any of this#lmaolmaolmao#all that and I was expected to do uni girl byeeee I need a good century to recover at least ☠️#the only thing I DID want is friends but clearly that was a hard ask when ppl can get friends just by existing on this god forsaken app#atp I don’t even know what to say literally just wth#yall say mdni with your dumbass banners and decorate it like something special when yall are the ones to keep from minors you disgusting#wastes of clean oxygen 😭 mdni my foot gross ass adults should’ve never trusted them#the way I’d give them therapy to their complex traumas ☠️ imagine relying on a minor for therapy
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isdalinarhot · 5 months ago
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whats the point of me doing anything if all its going to get is people laughing at me
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it would be really cool if I could have a day this month where I wasn’t so chronically afraid it felt like my intestines were twisted into a möbius strip. Because ya’know- I really like my digestive tract being an orientable manifold. If that’s all the same to the universe.
#it’s the grad school applications I think. It’s really really getting to me#I just. I dunno. It’s hard to eat. Sleep. Talk to people. I try my best but yeah. This is most of what I think about all the time.#Is it normal to feel this bad because of them? Like is this typical levels of graduate school application stress?#The stakes feel so high even though I know they’re not. If I don’t get in I just apply for a job and then reapply to grad school later#But I think it goes deeper than that. The idea of grad school applications has got me really closely examining myself and…#I genuinely worry I’m just- a kinda mediocre mathematician at best#I’ve been starting to feel really insecure about how slow my processing speed is. Would anyone want to invest in someone like me??#Who does legitimately have disabilities that make efficiently solving problems harder for me than most?#My dad once told me I’m not capable of thinking like a mathematician. Because I’m so slow. He encouraged me not to major in it.#I’m really happy I disregarded him. I can’t imagine doing anything else. I love math and I love research. But I wonder if he was right#I guess it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. I’m going to do math whether I’m cut out for it or not. And if that has to be recreational#Because no graduate school wants me. Then so be it.#But I do really want to go to graduate school. I really love the grad level classes I’ve done.#I really hope I make it#vent#graduate school jeremiad#research jeremiad
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caracello · 2 years ago
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i thinkkk. that cypher when given the chance would actually be very indulgent. idk i have nothing really to base this off of but to me he feels like someone that would want to spoil a partner. i don't think he gets the chance to do nice things for people very often.
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nerdyqueerr · 2 years ago
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The absolute MISERY of wanting to be Explicitly Nice to someone but not knowing if itll Make It Weird. I hate emotional vulnerability i hate direct communication i want to telepathically transmit affection to random people and never speak a word of my feelings.
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purring-tiefling · 2 years ago
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fuck my ex friend frfr
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cabin-fever-collective · 3 months ago
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sources are a weird ass thing im definitely canon compliant. very compliant. to the point ive scared some of our friends by acting accurate to shit we havent witnessed in source yet. but god damn being a fictive of a very well known fandom is so goddamn surreal. when i first showed up here- in our brain, in this world or whatever the hell you wanna call it- i was greeted with strangers saying hi, greeting me like an old friend. people i didnt know knew my name and things about me that i wasnt even sure of. made jokes about parts of my life that i didnt know anyone knew about. it fuckin threw me off. it still throws me off. people know me when i show my face. people talk to me familiarly or bring up my source. dont get me wrong its pretty sweet, if i hated it id just change my name or some shit. if i gave enough of a shit id hide who i am. but its a little surreal. by this point im so used to the expectation of people knowin me that it confuses me when they dont. and thats fucking weird isnt it. imagine walkin into some group of people and opening your mouth and everyone just goes 'oh hey dude'. youre sitting here racking your brain trying to find out where youve met all these people. how you couldve plausibly met all these people as they include you in the chat and you come up with nothin. you dont know em. but they know you. intricately. its damn weird. feels kinda like a pressure to be me. which isnt a bad thing i dont hate bein me, but. there are parts of me i know arent what they want of me. theres this underlying knowledge that theyre makin assumptions about me because of who i am and what they know. its like i can feel the cogs in their brain grease up and fire off with the knowledge we both know in our head. that youre expectin something of me and i know that aint me. im compliant but im not perfect. as fun as it is to have a well known source it also feels kinda fucked up. people expect a lot outta me and im just me. ill never stop bein just *me*. whether thats compliant or not isnt my problem, but i can *feel* the expectations and assumptions about me and my life. the jokes shot off by strangers. the comments about material i know about but man thats me. im just me. nothing more nothing less. im just a guy. a kid doin his best out here. i dont know how i feel about being 'famous'.
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mx-mehri · 4 months ago
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uughhhhhhhhh
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eevyerndracaneon · 9 months ago
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Hrrrnggg food struggles are hard and stupid and I hate them
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sweetnans · 3 months ago
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"You are pretty annoying"
"Did you just call me pretty?"
You are delusional if you think that your boyfriend Bakugo would ever hold his thoughts about you, even if they're bad.
You've been in this weird relationship for years where you yap his ear off, and he teases in return. Your friends find it amusing, actually.
Your relationship with him didn't begin in the best terms. In fact, he found you annoying and overly friendly for his liking.
You always found a way to enter in people's lives without being nosy, it wasn't the typical psychology complex when people try so hard to be involve in everyone's lives just because they need to find a solution to help themselves feel good. You genuinely cared about others, and these others found you easy to talk to.
Among other people, you were one of the most popular girls in UA. With your big smile and obnoxious laugh, Bakugo thought you were fake. Always laughing at shitty hair bad jokes, and cluelessly chatting with that monoma prick like he wasn't messing with you to rile you up (which apparently never worked)
One day, he saw you from afar and pretended to walk the other way to not run to your face.
"Hey, Bakugo!" You exclaimed running after him.
He cursed lowly, and his shoulders tensed a little bit.
"Hey"
He didn't want to talk to anyone. It wasn't personal this time.
"What's with that face? You look like Deku said something"
Your statement felt like you left your words hanging, like you were missing some important complement.
Something like...what?
"Huh? What do you mean?" He squinted his eyes at you, finally stopping in his tracks.
"I dunno," you shrugged, losing your characteristics smile. "You always put that face when Deku opens his mouth. It doesn't matter what he says. You always end up like that"
Deku, in fact, said something, but that wasn't the point. The main point was you reading him so well to the end that he'd never said anything to you, but you still knew what happened to him.
That day, he started paying attention to you, too, and he changed his mind about you being fake.
After months of getting to know each other, you two formed something very unique and cliché at the same time. The famous grumpy x sunshine thrope characterized by the angry pomeranian and the chatty girl that everyone liked. The unique part was Bakugo actually getting involved with someone else.
In the present, he still resents, but admires, the way you always develop in big groups, how every room seems to light up the moment you walk in, and of course, how you read him to perfection.
You two have been laying on his bed for the entire noon, and you've been trying for half an hour to make him talk about his friendship with Deku, now that he openly accepted that he is his friend, You've been pushing the man to tell you how he really feels about apologizing and getting him back after chasing him when Deku thought that it was for the best move away.
"For fucks sake, can you stop?" He tells you grabbing your hips and tickling the skin under your shirt.
"I'm just trying to coaxe you to tell me what you really feel. You know it's not healthy for your mind and body to keep your emotions bottled. You are a person, not a ticking bomb waiting to explode. " You try carresing his neck with your fingerpads.
He looks at you from his side of his bed, and his brows get knitted while his nose scrunch a little.
"What?" You ask at his demeanor.
"You are pretty annoying," he says with a gruff voice, moving one of his hands from your hip to the back of your head, entangling his fingers with your hair.
Your smile widens.
"Did you just call me pretty?"
Now you are showing your full smile, teeth, dimples, and all, the whole package. He can't help it. The butterflies erupt in the pit of his stomach, and the tip of his ears turns in a pink hue.
"Dumbass," he said, rolling his eyes and flicking your forehead.
God, getting to know you was the best that ever happened to him.
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fridgevespidae · 1 year ago
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man. ppl who hate ppl using tone indicators bum me out!
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void-tiger · 1 year ago
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I think I kinda like you. But I care more about watching you grow. And I can be patient. (I can grow myself in the meantime. Maybe we’ll meet halfway. Maybe we’ll only observe eachother’s growth in parallel. Maybe that’s for the best. But that’s okay.)
#tiger’s musings#if things stay somewhat parasocial? that really is okay#I just really love that sunlight feeling when things are genuinely friendly#that stillness with a gentle breeze next to a pond if we’re both calm and can just rest quietly#and watching him blossom in realtime with gentle cat’s tongue encouragement and teasing#i dunno what ‘type’ of love this is. i’m too aro and inexperienced to know for certain#but I could definitely spend more time coaxing relief and watching him blossom as a result. I really could#and…I just don’t /care/ if it’s friendship or romantic or whatever.#I really do want a secured friendship#but I think if we both continue to heal in parallel even if Nothing Else?#that’ll be okay. because we’re both growing#I know that just having him nearby makes me want to be kinder and gentler and more assertive and Try Again with my creativity#and these were already existing goals mind you#but having people in my life (which i do. online friends y’all know who you are)#just gives me that extra push I often need#and…I really don’t know all what happened to him and his family. I just recognize things when I see it#but…I think he’s definitely warming up to me now. and I swear in some ways I get to see that healing#and…it’s just so satisfying to witness.#like. yes I really really would love to have someone to hang out with and brainstorm with who’s HERE#but. if all that happens is we both heal by being in eachother’s orbit a bit removed#then…guess I’ll be okay with that. we still made positive impacts albeit somewhat indirectly#anyway. we’ll see#(and…honestly? somewhat parasocial is safer. y’know. because Life Crap when you’re queer vs environments)
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heliianth · 2 years ago
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i really dont know why people hate crazy gadget the worst part of the stage is the artificial chaos the area with the colored platforms is like . its just as linear as the rest of it. it wasnt hard to me.
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