#but I could definitely spend more time coaxing relief and watching him blossom as a result. I really could | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

void-tiger · 1 year ago

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I think I kinda like you. But I care more about watching you grow. And I can be patient. (I can grow myself in the meantime. Maybe we’ll meet halfway. Maybe we’ll only observe eachother’s growth in parallel. Maybe that’s for the best. But that’s okay.)

#tiger’s musings #if things stay somewhat parasocial? that really is okay #I just really love that sunlight feeling when things are genuinely friendly #that stillness with a gentle breeze next to a pond if we’re both calm and can just rest quietly #and watching him blossom in realtime with gentle cat’s tongue encouragement and teasing #i dunno what ‘type’ of love this is. i’m too aro and inexperienced to know for certain #but I could definitely spend more time coaxing relief and watching him blossom as a result. I really could #and…I just don’t /care/ if it’s friendship or romantic or whatever.#I really do want a secured friendship #but I think if we both continue to heal in parallel even if Nothing Else?#that’ll be okay. because we’re both growing #I know that just having him nearby makes me want to be kinder and gentler and more assertive and Try Again with my creativity #and these were already existing goals mind you #but having people in my life (which i do. online friends y’all know who you are)#just gives me that extra push I often need #and…I really don’t know all what happened to him and his family. I just recognize things when I see it #but…I think he’s definitely warming up to me now. and I swear in some ways I get to see that healing #and…it’s just so satisfying to witness.#like. yes I really really would love to have someone to hang out with and brainstorm with who’s HERE #but. if all that happens is we both heal by being in eachother’s orbit a bit removed #then…guess I’ll be okay with that. we still made positive impacts albeit somewhat indirectly #anyway. we’ll see #(and…honestly? somewhat parasocial is safer. y’know. because Life Crap when you’re queer vs environments)

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