#like. yes I really really would love to have someone to hang out with and brainstorm with who’s HERE

[aroacedragongirl]

Im just going to answer all of these because why not

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

its complicated

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

my father

03: Do you regret anything?

so many things :)

04: Are you insecure?

definitely

05: What is your relationship status?

single, hoping to stay that way

06: How do you want to die?

preferably painlessly

07: What did you last eat?

Honey bunches of oats with almonds

08: Played any sports?

i did karate for like eight years and hated it for at least like half of that

09: Do you bite your nails?

not really

10: When was your last physical fight?

see #8

11: Do you like someone?

this is a really ambiguous question. not romantically or sexually, thats for sure

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

no

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

yes

14: Do you miss someone?

I miss my friends who have all gone off to college around the country

15: Have any pets?

two dogs and a chinchilla

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

tired and annoyed by my mother

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

nope, never anywhere, for that matter

18: Are you scared of spiders?

no, i think they are cute

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

probably not, because it is impossible to predict the far reaching effects of what you do, and you could irreversibly change your life forever

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

what the fuck does that even mean? actually I dont think i want to know

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

i have no idea right now

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

nope

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

nope

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

calculus, physics, and computer science, probably

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

that is literally the same question as question 14

26: What are you craving right now?

sleep

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

probably by accident at least once without realizing it

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

never been in a relationship

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

never been in a relationship

30: What’s irritating you right now?

upon reading this my entire body spontaneously became itchy, fuck you

31: Does somebody love you?

I think my parents do?

32: What is your favourite color?

purple

33: Do you have trust issues?

definitely

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I crashed the car that i am borrowing

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

one of my parents, i dont recall which

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

probably

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

i am guilty of both

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

no

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

never have; hoping to continue that

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

no

51: Favourite food?

i wrote an entire essay on this one in response to an ask if you want to know go read that

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

if the consequences of our actions and random chance count then yes, otherwise no

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

game with friends

54: Is cheating ever okay?

I dont think i am qualified to answer this (aroace)

55: Are you mean?

sometimes unintentionally

56: How many people have you fist fought?

complicated answer, see question #08

57: Do you believe in true love?

no

58: Favourite weather?

just cool enough to wear a hoodie, not too cold

59: Do you like the snow?

yes

60: Do you wanna get married?

no

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

definitely not

62: What makes you happy?

Making things, success, sometimes hanging out with my friends

63: Would you change your name?

probably, idk to what though

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

jokes on you ive never kissed anyone

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

apologize for being unable to adequately reciprocate also why exclusively opposite sex?

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

idk

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

my mom

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

also my mom

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

no

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

probably not

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[half-oz-eddie]

I didn’t know I wanted you (Until I couldn’t have you)

Part 2/5

“…He’s always talking down to me and treating me like a child.” Buck huffed as they slowly followed the hiking trail to a platform above a waterfall.

Buck let out a wistful sigh, releasing all his pent up stress as he enjoyed the view. “Hey, Tommy.”

“Yeah?”

“Did you know this waterfall is a 30 foot drop? They say it’s the most beautiful during rainfall.”

“Oh yeah?” Tommy smiled, leaning against the platform railing and looking down.

“Yeah a-and in the 1850s, miners created the canal to wash gold from the earth. This park actually has connections to—“

“The gold rush, yeah.” Tommy nodded. “Have you ever been here before?”

“No, but..it was on my bucket list.” Buck ducked his head with a bashful chuckle. “Thanks for uh…flying me out here.”

“Sure. You seemed like you needed to get away from all the noise and get out of your head a bit.”

“Yeah…” Buck sighed. “Sorry for kinda—bringing that here with me. I’m just really frustrated.”

“I get it. Working under a guy like Gerrard can be pretty taxing. I lost myself in so many hobbies trying to forget about the work day, and I didn’t really have any family to turn to so it was better than keeping it all bottled up.”

“Or punching someone.” Buck replied with a laugh.

Tommy joined the laughter, nodding in agreement. “Yeah. Or that.” Tommy briefly paused. “And besides, I did fly Eddie to Vegas, and you seemed like you felt a little left out—“

“Yeah” Buck admitted with a smile “a little. A-and this is a bit of a further distance than Vegas. Ah—n-not that this is a competition or anything.”

Tommy shot Buck a charming smirk that made Buck’s heart swell with the feeling he desperately tried to ignore. “Right. Not a competition.”

In an attempt to redirect the conversation and his own feelings, Buck suggested heading to the picnic area.

“These chicken wraps are amazing.” Tommy complimented with his mouth full.

“Thanks I, uh, I learned to cook from Bobby.”

“Mm.” Tommy hummed, continuing to eat to his heart’s content.

“We should do this again sometime—oh, look, there’re some sheep over there!”

“Yeah they’re here for vegetation management. Pretty cool, right?”

“Very cool.”

“And, yes, Evan. I’d love to come here more often with you. Maybe we can do this every time our schedules align?”

“That’d be great!” Buck smiled widely, that nagging feeling returning once again.

Tommy’s so cool.

When Buck got home, he laid out on his bed, sighing dreamily as he reminisced about the day he had.

The waterfall was amazing—Tommy’s so cool—Those sheep were so cute! We even saw a horse—The way Tommy knew the entire trail like the back of his hand was really impressive—The park was so quiet and calming—Tommy’s such a great person.

Eventually, the thoughts of Tommy won him over, and Buck just couldn’t stop thinking about Tommy. The best, coolest, most amazing guy he’d ever met.

No, that would sound a little too weird right? I don’t mean it in a weird way? How do I even mean it?

I like hanging out with Tommy. I like Tommy. He’s cool. So cool. The coolest.

And I don't wanna weird him out.

[starryjkoo]

"the best trips i've had in my life"

I’m still stuck on Jungkook saying that the AYS trips were the best of his life? That’s actually a crazy thing to say when you look back on those trips and where they went and what exactly they did. Hearing “best trip of your life” you would expect something more grand, but for Jungkook it really was just hanging out with Jimin, doing pretty mundane activities and eating a lot of delicious food. Somehow these trips were impactful enough that he felt they were the best of his life? That’s crazy to me.  

Sapporo was beautiful, but Connecticut was… Connecticut lol, it’s pretty but not that interesting compared to other places they’ve traveled and Jeju is somewhere they’ve both already been plenty of times. The accommodations in Sapporo were especially nice, but CT was a camping van and the house from my suburban nightmares. The Jeju house was gorgeous but not anything particularly new for them either. 

The activities? They definitely did a lot of fun things, but most of them were things they had already done before, some of them even on other seasons of BV or with other members, friends, and on “private” vacations. A lot of the trips were actually filled with pretty mundane activities. Jimin even said in Sapporo that was just how he usually spends his time at home. It gave them an excuse to eat lots of delicious food, but that's hardly the only time they’ve done that either.

And yes, obviously they would enjoy these trips because they basically planned them. But that’s another thing, how compatible Jikook are and how well they click because not everyone would enjoy this kind of trip. Even TH questioned why he came at first because they already do all that in Seoul anyways, or how he went off to play golf one morning. So obviously Jikook were going to enjoy AYS, but I still never thought that these trips would end up being the best of JK’s life? Eating, taking drives and playing around with Jimin really topped every other trip he’s ever been on? 

The Jimin part is important because while some of the activities like snowboarding were fun on their own, what made the little things entertaining was how Jikook could take any simple activity and make it so silly and fun. I especially loved things like Jikook shining their bedside lamps at each other and how delighted JK was with that game, how happy he was when JM started playing along with him. Playing cards or having dinner with someone or playing in a pool, shining your bedside lamp at them or taking a drive wouldn’t be fun if you weren’t with someone who made those kinds of things fun and dynamic, if they couldn’t match your humor and energy. In fact some of those things could be pretty boring or tedious with the wrong person. 

There’s so many delightful examples of Jikook being adorably silly while doing these simple things like the mock cooking show in Sapporo, the way they made that scuzzi jacuzzi so fun with the snow, or Jikook coming up with the pool slap game and being so proud they showed it to TH and taught it to him the next day. You could list off so many examples like this and it’s just one of my very favorite things about AYS and Jikook’s friendship in general. I mean, the amount of mileage they can get out of a tiny pool or some bedside lamps is really crazy. JK talked about how they would be copies of each other if they were the same age and it really shows in AYS.

But what I also think really encapsulates Jikook’s bond is that even when things went wrong, such as in CT, they still had a ridiculous amount of fun and considered it a good trip. The cursed hamburger, Walmart, Jimin’s stomach virus, getting eaten up by mosquitos, getting nailed with rain that felt like hail, JK having a cold, JM getting burned by the motorcycle and then stepped on, JK falling into the river, elbowing JM in the face, JMs nose being bruised half the trip, having a fever, honestly just annoying the hell out of each other lol. But they loved that trip! JK wanted to do twelve more seasons after, they started planning Jeju and future trips before CT was even over, (they signed up to enlist together right after this!), JK recounted the trip to Yoongi with the biggest smile on his face. They enjoyed watching that first episode so much and laughed so hard at moments I didn’t even think were that funny (to be fair they were a little drunk there lmao).  

So, even when things went wrong they still enjoyed their trip immensely because they have the kind of relationship where they can take something bad and bond over the experience, turn it into something positive and memorable, create inside jokes that'll probably last forever. They also never truly got annoyed or stressed out at each other either despite both being sick or tired. You have to be so close and get along with someone so well to be able to do that?

So despite JK going to Jeju & Busan with his 97 liner friends, despite allegedly going to Japan with Eunwoo, despite already going snowboarding with TH and WS, despite any other trips or breaks or BV seasons over the years, despite CT being a mess, Jeju being somewhere they’ve both already been, none of the activities being that new or particularly exciting for them, despite being ���company content”, in that moment JK felt so strongly and so positively and so fondly about his AYS experience that they felt like the best trips of his life. You don’t even need JKs words to know that, it was clear by the constant smiles and laughter throughout the show how much he loved it. And what made those trips so fun and impactful was clearly that they were together. That’s just amazing to me? To have someone you get along with so well, someone you have so much fun with and enjoy being around that much? 

I do think these trips offering a break from his insane schedule made them more impactful and meaningful to Jungkook too. You could tell how exhausted he was working nonstop during his solo schedules. Jimin even said in CT he was glad he came because otherwise JK wouldn’t have gotten to do all of those things. It’s funny that solos & tkkrs tried to make it seem like these trips were just piling onto JK’s busy schedule when in fact they seemed to offer him a much needed break to relax and do something fun instead. So the timing of these trips probably did add to why JK loved them so much.

I also think that JK felt so strongly about it specifically in that moment because Sapporo was a pretty emotional trip for them too. Based on JKs words they were also using the trip to make memories to look back on during enlistment, probably also wanted to have one more enjoyable experience before they would have to go away for eighteen months. I think that played a part in this trip feeling more special and sentimental than it ordinarily would have. I thought it was especially sweet how when they were both feeling particularly emotional/melancholy on the train ride they shared that moment together and took comfort in each other. Jimin said that he didn’t think he would have felt excited about the snow in SK, but in Sapporo he loved it so much. And JK saying that he wanted to return to Japan because it was the location of their first trip was terribly sweet. It was a really nice and poignant way to end AYS, because those trips and Sapporo in particular did have a lot of meaning for them, clearly. They truly loved AYS so much.

I have so many other thoughts and feelings about AYS I’d like to unpack eventually but really I think what encapsulates my feelings on AYS is just JK saying that these were the best trips of his life. I guess this is just my really long winded way of saying how special I think Jikook’s bond is. You can’t really argue that JK enjoyed AYS as much as he did for any reason other than that he was with Jimin. Even if JK simply enjoyed getting to take a relaxing trip during his busy schedule, what made a lot of the small things so fun was Jikook’s unique dynamic. That trip wouldn’t have been possible with someone else because quite simply it wouldn't have been the same trip. It had to be Jikook for AYS to be so incredibly relaxing but also have the right amount of activity, eating, and playing, for the simple things to be that enjoyable, the food so prominent, the shared dorky sense of humor, the few moments of softness and vulnerability, the comfortable vibe between them.

I’ve never seen JK yap that much in BTS content either, you can tell how comfortable he is with Jimin in particular and how easy and familiar their dynamic is too. I’ve never honestly seen them that relaxed and stripped back in BTS content before, which was part of the reason I enjoyed AYS so much. I felt like I got to genuinely know them better and I really loved that. They could have made the show more dynamic and entertaining by packing it full of activities or other people, but it seems like the main focus was just doing the things they enjoy doing together and having their ideal vacation, which I massively preferred.

I also thought it was really meaningful that they did their little AYS thing right before they enlisted together. They just really enjoyed that show so much, they really bonded over creating it, had so much fun coming up with the title and the little details, and clearly felt so much genuine fondness for it. For them to end their CH2 with AYS was really meaningful, because that’s literally how they closed out the whole CH2 “solo” era, with something they created together. Just the fact that they were even thinking about AYS in that moment shows how impactful it was for them. Jikook closed out their CH2 together while at the same time entering the next chapter of their lives together too. They just make my heart so warm for real. I really loved AYS so much and I’m so glad that Jikook loved it just as much as we did if not more.

ending this with my favorite Jikook edit ❤️‍🩹

[willowsnook]

When Love is Left Unspoken pt. 2 (MV)

max verstappen x reader

pt. 1 here

I could be talked into a pt. 3 if people want it

It had been a week since the Austin GP and forgetting about what happened had been impossible mostly because Max would not leave you alone.

He didn't reach out directly, but every morning this week, you had woken up to a new gift outside your door. Flowers, chocolate, coffee, pastries, clothing, etc. You had no idea how he even knew your address.

You struggled with what to do. On one hand, you had missed your best friend for a long time. You missed the inside jokes, the comfort you found in him, and supporting one another. But on the other hand, you couldn't stop thinking about how he threw it all away because he was scared of loving you. You had never been scared of loving him, even if you never said. Well maybe that was hypocritical.

Saturday morning an envelope accompanied the box outside of your door. You opened the box first, revealing a vintage RedBull racing bomber jacket that cost who knows how much. It was cute, you'd give it that. Opening the envelope you froze as you read the letter that sat next to a paddock pass for the Brazil GP.

I know you hate me and you have a good reason to but I will do anything to have you back by my side even if you refuse to look at me. Please come to Brazil, I know it's your favorite track. You can stay on Checo's side of the garage if it makes you feel better.

Love, Your Max

Brazil was your favorite track and in the past you had always travelled down early to experience the culture for a bit before the racing started.

You facetimed Carmen, hoping to talk this through with someone else.

"Hey girl, what's up?" She asked, clearly in the middle of a workout.

"Oh, I can call later if you're busy," you said and she shook her head.

"No, it's okay!"

"Max invited me to the Brazilian GP," you told her slowly and her eyes widened.

"Wow."

"I know, I don't know what to do."

Carmen was silent for a little bit, clearly thinking. "Is there any part of you that wants to make up with him?"

"Yes," you admitted quietly. "But I hate myself for even thinking that. I don't want to just forget about everything that happened and take him back with open arms."

"I don't think you necessarily have to forget what happened but maybe focus on the people you both have grown to be in these last few years. Maybe treat it like you are starting over."

"So you think I should go?"

"Selfishly yes of course," she said grinning and you couldn't help but smile back. "You don't even have to spend time with him. Just see how it feels to be around him."

After hanging up with Carmen, you texted the number Max had given you for his assistant in order to get flights and a hotel figured out.

-----------------------------------

You landed in Brazil on media day and didn't plan on going to the track until Saturday. Max was pulling out all the stops even when he couldn't see you as evidenced by the ridiculously nice hotel he put you in. The view was amazing and laying on the bed was a variety of your favorite snacks and drinks with a card that read "I'm so glad you're here -your Max."

The 'Your Max' thing was working even though you hated to admit it. You spent the next two days traveling around the city by yourself and then with Carmen.

Saturday rolled around and you found yourself nervous to be at the paddock despite Carmen's constant reassurances. You hadn't seen Max yet and you weren't really sure what to say when you did.

Funny enough, the first person you ran into when you made it to the RedBull garage was Christian Horner.

"Y/n!" He said surprised to see you. "It's been a while, how are you? You know my wife is obsessed with your tik tok channel."

"Ahh tell her I said thank you," you replied kindly. "I've been doing well."

"We're glad to have you back," he said and your heart swelled. "It's been a rough year for him."

"I'm not sure I can change that," you said politely and he gave you a look.

"You just being here might," he commented before leaving you to go talk with the mechanics. You wandered around the garage, catching up with a lot of people you hadn't seen in a long time.

Max spotted you as he was coming out of his drivers' room and his heart stopped. Of course he knew you were in Brazil, but he still wasn't 100% sure you'd show up. He didn't think he should approach you so he just lingered by watching you. You felt him watching you and looked over at him, trying to control your breathing and gave him a small smile.

He smiled back before being called off to get ready for the sprint. Leaning against the back wall you pulled your headphones and settled in to watch. Max was doing pretty good, battling with Charles for most of the race. Your face appeared on the broadcast and you smiled to the camera, giving it a small wave.

After the race you checked your phone to see that you'd been tagged in countless tweets.

@.username12312: Was that y/n y/l/n in the RedBull garage? I thought her and Max had a falling out???

reply to @.usernam12312 @.user345: Yeah they haven't been friends for a long time. It had something to do with Kelly

reply to @.user345 @.username12312: oh yeah, you're right! I always liked y/n better anyways

You were amused reading the speculation and decided to stir the pot further. While Max was doing interviews you found Checo in the garage and asked him to take a picture with you. The confused man agreed and you quickly posted it to your Instagram story with the caption: My favorite RedBull driver, good luck tomorrow!

Carmen and Lily both slid up with laughing emojis and you walked back to Max's side, trying to avoid the rain. It was really coming down now and you weren't sure if they would even be able to go out on the track. You found Max a little while later sitting against the wall, legs sprawled out in front of him. You sunk down next to him, holding your knees into your chest.

"Think you'll be able to go out there today?" You asked casually and he looked over at you, clearly excited to hear you speaking to him.

"I would say probably not," he replied. "Maybe tomorrow morning."

"How much longer until we know?"

"Another half hour would be my guess," he said. "I can call for someone to take you back if you want to leave now?"

"No, I'll wait," you said looking down at your phone. You sat in silence for a while and the rain was starting to make you very sleepy. Losing the battle with yourself, you rested your head on Max's shoulder and he stiffened.

Max smiled to himself as you dozed off and the two of you caught the attention of the cameras, the photo soon to be splashed everywhere online. Quali was called off and Max nudged you awake, reaching out to help you up.

"Ride with me back?" He asked hopeful and you nodded. You ran into George and Carmen on the way out and she gave you a knowing look to which you rolled your eyes at.

"You guys should come out to dinner with us," George said. "We're meeting up with Alex and Lily too."

You hesitated, not wanting to miss out but at the same time your social battery was dead. You could only handle so much social interaction before you were craving your warm bed to snuggle into. You started to give in and agree but Max cut you off.

"I think y/n is done being around people for the day so I'm going to take her back."

You looked at him surprised and the realization that he still knew you so well just added more fire to the internal turmoil you were facing. Bidding them goodbye, you followed Max out of the paddock and into the car he had rented for the weekend. The car ride was silent as well as the elevator ride up to your floor.

Max followed close behind you as you made your way to your room and it was starting to irritate you.

"You don't need to walk me to my room Max," you said and he looked at your sheepishly.

"I'm in the one right next to you."

"Are you fucking serious?" You asked frustrated. "I need space Max!"

"I just want you to be safe," he defended and you rolled your eyes.

"From what?" You exclaimed. "Oh yeah, your girlfriend I mean ex-girlfriend is from here. Think she's sending people after me?"

"I don't think that's funny," he said, eyes darkening. "Sue me for wanting you close to me. I'm not going to apologize for that."

"You are the worst," you bit out before shoving into your room, slamming the door.

---------------------------------------

Stepping out of the steaming shower and back into the bedroom you glanced worriedly out the window. You wouldn't necessarily say that you had a fear of thunderstorms but they tended to make you uneasy.

Trying to distract yourself you put on South Park, your favorite show to watch in a hotel, but it didn't work. After a couple of booms you were still on edge. Sighing you got up and left your room, hoping a small walk around the hotel would ease your mind. By the time you made it back, Max was leaning against the wall by your door, waiting for you.

"Can't sleep?" He asked and you nodded.

"The storms."

"You always were scared of them," he teased and you scoffed.

"I'm not scared of them!" Right as you said that, a streak of lighting flashed by the hallway's window followed by a loud crash of thunder. You jumped a little and Max smirked.

"Come on," he said gesturing back to his room. You hesitated and he sighed. "We both know you won't fall asleep alone to this."

Giving in, you followed him into his room. It was a carbon copy of yours and you were amused to see South Park playing on his tv. He climbed into his bed but you stopped short; the scene in front of you reminded you of so many times before. When you traveled with him back in the day you'd often find yourself in his room at night hanging out. You always fell asleep and woke up in his arms, neither of you ever saying anything about it.

Max sat up in the bed looking at you, he knew what you were thinking.

"Y/n," he said softly as he watched you wipe a tear from your eye.

"This is so hard Max," you said, voice breaking. "How am I supposed to just forget?"

"I don't know," he confessed. "I'm sorry."

"It's not even like you broke my heart that day," you said meeting his eyes. "You had chipped away at it for so long that there wasn't even anything left to break."

Max's heart dropped and he moved over closer to where you were standing, so that you were now eye level.

"I was so scared back then y/n," he said and you put your head into your hands. "So scared of failing that I did things I shouldn't have done, like pushing you away to protect myself."

"Protect yourself from what?" You said, looking back at him.

"Your unconditional love," he said sadly and you tried to compose yourself, taking a deep breath.

"You acted like nothing happened, I watched you move on with your life," you accused, whispering to him.

"I did not move on, I was a mess. I couldn't eat or sleep for months and I latched on to you in whatever way I could through your videos or podcast. Every picture or video you saw of me was strictly PR."

"But you never reached out, not once in these past few years," you said, starting to grow angry with him.

"Neither did you!" He exclaimed.

"That's not fair Max," you retorted, moving away from him.

"Isn't it though? You accused me of moving on but I watched you do the same. I watched your popularity grow, watched you start to travel around the world, watched you post with other guys. You didn't need me to be happy."

"I needed my best friend!" You yelled and he flinched. "I needed you to be there to call when I got a new deal! I needed you to be there to lean on when I had self doubt! You ruined everything Max. I could never be truly happy celebrating something because in the back of my mind I was thinking about how you should have been there with me!"

Max squeezed his eyes shut, sitting down on the bed.

"I don't know how to fix this schatje," he whispered and you flinched at the term of endearment. "Everything has been so dark for so long. I am okay with you hating me forever. Because even if you just look at me, it'll be a better day than what I've had."

Sniffling, you stared into his red rimmed eyes. "I want to forget about you so badly Max but I can't."

He smiled softly at you before patting the bed.

"Please sleep here tonight, it will make me feel so much better knowing you were well rested. I'll sleep on the pull out couch," he said standing up.

"Just sleep in the bed with me," you said sighing, wiping the tears from your face before climbing into the bed. Max slid in next to you, leaving a healthy distance between the two of you and you drifted off to sleep.

The sound of his alarm woke you up at 4:30 and you groaned sleepily. Max's arms were wrapped tightly around you, his head buried in your hair as he refused to open his eyes.

"Max, you have to wake up," you said and he mumbled incoherently into you. You pried his hands off your body and stood up, stretching. He watched you lazily from the bed, wondering if this was a dream.

"I'm going to go get ready and then I'll meet you back in the hallway in 30 minutes okay?" You asked him and he nodded. Leaving his room you headed back into yours to get ready for the day. Your eyes were still a little swollen from last night but that was nothing a little makeup couldn't fix.

Pairing the new RedBull jacket with a black jeans you gathered all your stuff before texting Carmen about what had happened last night. All she responded was that we would discuss it in person and sent a winky face.

Max looked more awake standing out in the hallway and you both left for the track.

Qualifying was a mess to put it simply. Crash after crash after crash. It was spiking your anxiety to watch and you were just praying that Max would make it out unscathed. He did make it without crashing, but not without controversy.

You grew furious as you watched everyone in Q2 get to finish their laps following Lance's crash except for Max and Esteban. This made him miss out on Q3 for the first time in forever. You knew he was pissed when he got out of the car and his eyes met yours for a brief second. He talked to his engineers before grabbing your hand to drag you with him to over where he had to do interviews.

Standing behind the reporter you watched him try to contain his anger.

“If a guy goes straight into the wall, it is a straight red,” he said. “I don't understand why you need to take 30, 40 seconds for a red flag to come out...”

His voice was rising as he said it and both you and the reporter braced for the impact of whatever he was going to say next. He started to say something but then looked over at you and stopped himself, taking a deep breath before waving off the question.

“I don’t care in all honesty, it is so stupid to talk about. It’s ridiculous.”

He answered a couple more questions about the race happening later and you waited patiently. Christian came to join you and gave you a knowing look.

"I told you that being here would make things better," he said with a glint in his eyes. "I'm giving you credit for him avoiding more community service."

Things got even better after that with Max winning the Grand Prix in what you could only describe as a complete masterclass.

As the celebrations wrapped up, you and Max found yourselves alone in the quiet of the garage, both still processing the day's whirlwind. He glanced at you, a hesitant warmth in his gaze.

Max reached for your hand, gently holding it, as if afraid you'd slip away again. "I'm glad you came, I've needed you here for a long time."

"I'm still not sure where we stand Max," you said unsure of how to deal with what you were feeling.

"As long as your standing next to me, I'll be okay," he said cheekily and you smiled. You knew that your relationship had a long way to go but maybe, just maybe, it was finally starting again.

[magickizu]

"Interesting, really." The red headed man put his hand up to his chin, thoughtful. His looks are quite well kept, as expected from a scholar. A little peach fuzz donned his face on the chin and sides, proper shoes and pants held up by a belt with an orderly ruffle shirt in ivory and vest in chestnut. As he could never without his ruffles, as impractical in the lab as they were. But he could simply tie them up, for his new experimental form of alchemistry.

"Yes, I know. Although; due to recent discoveries a few researchers and scientists, me included, are now speculating about the possibility that this predatory adaptation also resulted from our interference with humans- may I elaborate?" The merman flicked his shimmering tail in excitement, his scales have often been compared to labradorite, as been his eyes. His light, wavey hair, tied up in a messy bun with some strands hanging in his face, as the merman fixed his glasses as best they'd hold up, eagerly holding on to the boards of the dock. Grinning star-eyed up at the human, almost like a sea-puppy.

"Sure, darling. I am intrigued, do tell." He smiled softly at his lover as he began a tangent about his latest theories, based on his newest bioarcheological findings.

It's been a few years since Darryl moved to this little island, originally to indulge in his experiments and get away from his pressuring parents, who set up marriage proposals left and right. Luckily he got out of it by claiming to already be married to his work.

Never in a hundred years, would he have thought to encounter someone this engaged in scienc- just as engaged as he was! But there he was, at shore one night. Observing and noting constellations. He originally didn't want to scare off the stranger, but the sudden leap in his chest left no room for air, for his mind to think. But instead of scaring him off, the mysterious stranger seemingly found enjoyment in the conversation. His name was Whylt and he'd been around for quite sometime, apparently he'd heard of Darryl and was eager to meet him.

The two soon became friends. Close friends. And soon after that, even close to the point that one felt confident enough to steal a kiss in the secure darkness of the night, near the water and their now shared home. It felt like a dream come true, to Darryl. Even more so as Whylt opend up, told there was more to him and for the first time in their lives, they felt the sweet embrace of love in the soft sea breeze warm from the summer air, under the bright full moon. At first the redhead was worried. Worried he might just wake up in a shared bed with a poor lass, that he knew could never be loved by him as she deserved. Back with his parents, who know nothing but of a "good friend and colleague" of his. Worried that one day he might just wake up without this beautifully kind and smart being next to him, that the merman would flee and take his heart with him. But after one night as Whylt confessed similar thoughts and worries, they'd promised to vow to stay, until death do them part. And it's been quite a few years, a bit more than half a decade, since then.

"And have you made the effort to start writing yet? The papers for your theories?" The redhead grined smug, knowing full well his partner rather enjoys the practical part much more. As he earned a drawn out, dramatically bored sigh from the merman, his grin grew wider.

"Not yet, of course! I... Must find more evidence to prove or counter it. After all, I must consider all sides!" He breathed a laugh, trying his best to get around the mountain of paperwork waiting for him at his desk. Darryl let out a hearty laugh, bellowing into dusk and after a short moment, Whylt joined in. The merman lifts himself up onto the dock, temporarily exchanging his fins for legs.

"The food's ready too, if you'd like." The now two men help eachother stand up, the human getting kiss from his love, as they do.

"Thank you, dear. I love you, my little squirrel." He said laying is lips on the other's again, gaining the same form of affection back.

"I love you too, my little otter." He grabs the pale hand of the merfolk, to hold it up gently and adore it with another kiss. "Let's go, then." They smile at eachother smitten and content. In this moment and for many, many years to come.

“So mermaids and sirens are two different species?” “Just so. My people, what you call mermaids or merfolk, share a common ancestor to you humans, making us distant cousins. What you call sirens, however, are fish that evolved to look and sound like humans to attract their favorite prey.”

[sweetluna20]

my favorite girl

caitlin clark x reader angst

(be nice)

“YOU DID GREAT”

“all for my favorite girl”

dowling catholic has just beaten valley high. not only with the same city rivalry, this game was the season opener, caitlin just got done with fiba u17, the game was huge. everyone was there, it honestly seemed like everyone in des moine was there. 

you sat in the first row watching your best friend play her heart out. 

her basketball games always brought a smile to your face, seeing your best friend play with so much passion always made you smile. 

the loud horn rang, signaling the game ended dowling won 80-26.

you watch as students started to leave, filled with excitement and joy from the win.  sitting on a bench outside of the school waiting for her. you wondered how she was feeling, you couldn’t wait to see her smile from the win.

then you see her.

she was walking out with some of her teammates smiling and laughing about their win. you waited till she parted ways with them, smiling as you watched their.

then she spots you, running up to her and tackle hugging her.

“YOU DID GREAT” the excitement and enthusiasm in your voice could be heard thousands of miles away.

“all for you my favorite girl” she responded with a huge smile on her face. as she wrapped her arms around your waist. 

you hide your face in her neck hearing the sweet nickname. staying like that for a bit. you let go of her embrace, asking her in a much calmer voice.

“where do you want to eat champ”  still trying to get your mind off of the nickname. 

“hmmm, do you want to try that new pizza place, it’s by jordan creek?” she sounded happy but seemed sad that you let go of her embrace.

“Oh my god yes! i’ve heard so many good things about it! lilly and emma went there a few days ago and i swear they still haven’t stopped talking about it!” you exclaimed with so much excitement.

caitlin smiled widely, she loved it when you would get so excited and passionate about whatever you guys would talk about. but she was also trying to push back her jealousy. even though she knew she was your favorite person, lilly and emma were two of your closest friends. she was jealous how they got to hang out with you all the time. she had just gotten back from fiba U17 which took up practically all spring and summer and now basketball season started so she would barely  see you again. she couldn’t help but to feel jealous when she would watch and hear you talk about them all the time. 

“you gotta stop hanging out with my dad, you’re starting to turn into him, champ” she nudged you in the arm.

“hey, it’s not my fault that your parents needed someone to look after colin and it’s not my fault your dad loves me” you’re really close with the clark family, the clark parent has always saw you as a second daughter and blake and colin have always seen you as a sister. 

“eh colin’s fine, you should come travel with me next time i’m in fiba” 

“cait you know i would love to, but with what money? i’m babysitting colin for my college fund”

“ill pay for you!” she replied with her great big smile 

“you have as much money as i do. now focus on the road before we get in an accident” you could hear the fake annoyance in your voice as you roll your eyes at her.

“you’re no fun” 

turning on taylor’s 1989 album, the same one you’d gotten catlin for her birthday a while back. 

you hadn’t even realized you were there until she turned off the music.

“you ready?” she asked calmly

“yea i just zoned out” taking her hand as you guys run inside.

but that was the old days 

the old caitlin

now you barely see her, talk to her, touch her.

all because her stupid boyfriend being jealous of you.

hell the last time you guys even spoke was a because of a fight.

“God y/n why didn’t you tell me you’re dating someone, i’m your best friend” she yelled

“You’re blaming this on me?” you asked, you were confused and hurt.

“Yes i’m blaming this on you, we’re difting apart, you never talk to me, god I didn’t even know you were dating someone. we haven’t spoken in literal months y/n, this is the first time we’ve talked and we’re fucking fighting”

“Oh My Fucking God Caitlin, you don’t get the right to put this on me. ever since you gotten with connor you’ve been ignoring me, you act like i didn’t exist when you were with him, you don’t respond to me or acknowledge me. and for what he was jealous of me? it’s not like you even like me. you have no right to be mad at me for not telling you i’m dating when you don’t even care.” you yelled back. hurt that she’s mad at you, hurt that she’s been ignoring you, hurt that she got with connor after you told her you loved her. 

silence fell between you two. feeling tears starting to form, you knew it was time to leave.

“i’m going to go, bye caitlin.” you left, head down, with tears streaming down your face. you close the door hearing no response.

but caitlin did respond, too quite for you to hear.

“I love you so much y/n, more than you could ever know.” as she hears the door shut. she silently sob realizing her best friend, her childhood love, her favorite girl had just left. 

all because of a stupid boy she doesn’t even love.

(this is ass so i’m sorry)

i really gotta stop writing angst before i get murdered.

★taglist★: @heart4caitlin, @equalhealerr, @connormccafferyhater, @caitlinclarkismakingmeweak

[iwriteofdelrey]

I was wondering if you can write a Bumblebee(B-127) x Cybertronians!reader, where B-127 was staring at trash burning, and the reader fell out of the trash chute, and he saves the reader just in time before the reader went in the fire, and we help him build Steve?

AWHHH RAHHH I LOVE I LOVE HIMMM (I’m in my bumblebee onesie as we speak)

I LOVE ITTY IGHHFKDSKSKDKFKFKFIGIG

B-127 x cybertronian! Reader

Spoilers for Transformers One if you haven’t seen it. 

gnreader, mentions death, injuries, and angst, not edited.

"I don't want to go back up there, anyway..."

I listened to Chihiro and Ocean Eyes while making this lol.  

You were a miner. A very low-ranking miner. 

You had tried to be happy. Sometimes it didn't work.

You always ended up frowning, doing your job.

You had a [Preferred paint color] paint job and were always covered in scratches or dirt. It was rough. It was so rough. 

You were always tired, always looking pitiful. You didn’t know why you did. You were working towards saving Cybertron. 

You weren’t treated with much respect. You were always being taken advantage of. By anyone. The bots who worked aside you, your superiors, everyone. It seems cliche, but it does.

Doesn’t everyone get stepped on, especially in this environment? Well, you could argue yes, but it sure was damn different.  

You already had a dangerous job, and felt so invisible and treated with such disregard. You were by yourself, always by yourself. 

Sometimes, on little breaks, you thought to yourself. You thought to yourself a lot; Too much for a little ol’ bot with a low-ranked job. It was hard to find your reason in life and who you were. 

 Sometimes you’d question why you had no cog or were not of high rank. You’d question why you even had to mine for Energon anyway. Why were you always mining for it? It was hours on end.

No sleep sometimes. Barely, if you’re lucky. 

One day, you were working on putting packages and boxes together to send to the other bots to put on the transport.

You were leaning over the edge of the conveyor belt, even though you shouldn't have, to make sure some of the packages were sealed correctly. It is true that some slack and rush, and don't even check if it's right or corrected.

something had happened in which all the bots had to evacuate for something.

You tried getting up from leaning over the edge, but instead, you got shoved and pushed.

You had fallen in. It happened so fast. It's like you fell sideways but you went downward.

You or anybody else didn't have time to react. Did they even care? Probably not. Maybe some did.

You hit the side of your helm and it felt like you blacked out. You blacked out on what seemed like the conveyor belt to the...To the trash chute!?

You were barely even conscious. You really just look up and then close your eyes. You couldn't think much about anything. All of this happened too fast. You felt a cold liquid run down your face (do they even bleed? or. would I say leak?)

That's really beside the fact.

You did hear "Oh my primus," a couple times from the bots above you, but really it was kinda late to grab you or get anyone to save you.

Now to B now!

Bumblebee was simply watching trash. Trash that goes into the burner.

He didn't really get the point, but at least he could keep this assignment.

Sure he felt lonely, but again, it wasn't like he didn't fully enjoy his job. He could just hang by himself all day.

All B was was just a bot who was by himself a lot. All the time. No one even came down there.

Yeah, sometimes he wanted someone who he could talk to, or hang out with. It felt like hell. Maybe it was. I mean he did work near the trash burner on one of the lowest levels. It might as well be.

Even trying to be optimistic, he would find himself frowning at the trash like this.

( LMAO THIS POOR BABY)

Anyway, he really did try to stay as sane as he could.

when he heard a sound coming from the trash chute, he couldn't help but wonder what it could possibly be.

"Do they just send anything down here now?" he went.

"It can barely fit down the chute," he continued, getting closer to it.

Once whatever was in the chute got close to the end, it came down fast.

With a BANG, you fall on the conveyor belt, limp.

"Oh my Primus, it's another bot!" he said, quickly acting, pulling your limp frame off of the conveyor belt before you could reach the trash. He stopped the machine and placed you on the ground.

You look kinda conscious but definitely not responsive.

He took off his protective helmet and tried to figure out your situation.

"Are you alright?" He tries to speak to you.

All you could do was move your eyes. Little by little you realize you were on the ground.

"Do you need help?" He asked again, panicking, especially after realizing you had a cut or a bruise of some sort on your helm.

"Try getting up, maybe I could help you if you get Energon running through you again," he suggested.

You blink a couple times.

You try to recognize where you are. You couldn't Though, was that really the most of your worries. You fell into the conveyor belt and almost died for crying out loud.

You groan and put a servo on your helm as you get up slowly.

You rub your face plate and look back at it. Dirt, dust, and-- shit you're leaking.

You put your servo back and down and look around. Everything through your optics felt so saturated. It felt not normal. You hadn't even noticed the bot next to you, looking just as concerned for you as you were for yourself.

You could honestly care less about your surroundings or who this other bot was. At least for now. Not in a mean way. You just felt hurt. Your frame felt numb and so did your face plate.

"Y-you fell down the chute..." He began, looking at you.

You rubbed your helm a bit more and looked at him then at where you would've ended up if he didn't do anything.

"Thank you," you said simply.

"My pleasure," he replied.

"I'm guessing don't have many.. uhm options to get back up there..do I?" You asked.

He shook his helm.

"I could help you- with your injury that is. You seemed to have taken a really big fall," he said, grabbing something.

You guess you did. You barely remembered what had happened it had all gone down so quick.

You looked down. Maybe if you hadn't leaned over the edge, none of this would've happened. You were lucky to even still be online.

B looked at you, after grabbing a bandage. He saw you were upset. He couldn't blame you. Maybe you had it good up there.

"Hey, uhh, I never got your name--" He starts, trying to distract you.

You widened your eyes, getting ready to respond.

"Oh, it's Y/N," you began.

You look at him as he gives you the bandage, hoping he'll respond with his name back.

"Well, Y/N, I'm B-127, I work here at this very level...Just me..." he says smiling...Kinda.

You give a weak smile. He seemed sweet. And alone. Just like you.

"I worked as a low-rank miner who packaged boxes for transport," you go on. "Not so different from picking out valuable stuff from scrap, and watching trash." you finish.

"Looks like I'm stuck down here, but at least you seem cool," you say smiling a little more.

He smiles back sitting with you. He was pretty happy. You were a person he could talk to.

"At least we'll have one another," he says.

"It's better than what my life was up there." You say, thinking.

"I'd rather be down here than be up there," you continue.

After a couple of days, a bot couldn't tell if you guys had been friends all your life or if you guys met a couple days prior.

It was funny because, after about a month, you guys decided to build a buddy!

You decided to name him Steve :3

After building Steve, you had wanted to make a mask just like B's.

"I made a mask like yours, B. Isn't it hella badass? I got it from you," you laugh.

He definitely calls himself Badass after that

(that's where he got the name from!)

You both are glad you found each other when you guys did. You both needed it.

silly ahh alien LMAO

-King

[bekolxeram]

I woke up to a dash full of bones, and I thought to myself: What a day to be a moopsy!

But then I realized it was the same kind of bones people have been trying to force feed me since May. I'm a moopsy with standards, give me herringbone, funny bone, trombone, Jackson Rathbone (jk I've never seen Twilight), any other kind of bone.

Please don't force a moopsy into vegetarianism.

Oh, and I've read that opinion piece. It's certainly one of the articles ever written.

First of all, I feel like I'm in a time loop, I can't believe I have to dig through the vault to find this post from June. Tommy wasn't taking Eddie on an "adventure" in 7x04. Both flying and combat sports have been Tommy's passions way before Eddie showed up in his life. They happened to share common interests, so Tommy asked Eddie to tag along for the ride, but he was going to Vegas anyway, solo or not.

Exploring your partner's interests would be more like... I don't know, showing up to a groom-less (and fun-less) bachelor party while being on standby because it's important to your partner? Listening to him ramble about a dead outlaw even though you're so tired from your shift and taking care of him all night that you're basically mumbling half-asleep, yet still manages to catch that he's said "crossed" twice? Thinking your partner is stressing himself over a stupid curse but you still put on a nice suit, drive him to the cemetery and stand behind him while he gives a century old mummy a eulogy, for it to unexpectedly turn into a moment of connection between you two?

Secondly, I'm not even getting into the whole "slow burn is the only valid form of romance" thing. I just never imagined there would be a day I see the words "slow burn" and Bathena put together. They're the antithesis of slow burn. They're explosions in the form of beautiful fireworks. I understand that the author only started the show about a month ago? But literally, in the first episode of S7, Athena told the therapist that while she loved her husband, she didn't know how to just slow down and chill out with him. The cruise ship disaster arc ended with them bonding over yet another near death experience. Life's too short for slow to them.

Thirdly, 9-1-1 doesn't really do cute dates? It's either in the ending montage of an arc or it's a setup for some terrible misfortune afterwards. It's not a YA style queer coming-of-age show either, the best you'll see Buck navigating through queer spaces is speeding from "calling himself an ally while on a date with a guy" through "walking into a room full of people with a soot eating grin". (While we're on that, I guess I have to dig out another post from June about the first date closet comment. Tommy took the initiative to tell Eddie they were just hanging out, and Eddie bought it. He didn't mind keeping Buck's sexuality private, but he did mind Buck pushing him back into the closet with the hot chick lie.)

Finally, Tommy has been relatively involved in the Fire Fam circle ever since his re-introduction. He literally stole borrowed a helicopter and flew the 118 to the Pacific Ocean just to save Bathena. He was at the wedding, he was at the medal ceremony, and now he's part of the hospital vigil for Denny. And each time he's not just there for Buck, he's there for Chimney, he's there for Hen too. For someone who puts so much emphasis on "slow burn", the author seems rather hasty in pronouncing BuckTommy dead on arrival, after watching a total of 5 out of 18 episodes this season (with 2 of them heavily featuring passengers on the plane and putting the whole fire fam to the side no less). Every relationship takes time to build up, I'm sure the author understands that, welcoming a new member into your family is not a question of yes or no, it's also a question of when. Tommy has mentioned 3 times how much he wanted to have a team like that behind his back, how alone he was navigating through life with only negative influence like his father or Gerrard. Buck's story in 8x05 started as a spooky comedy about a mummy, but ended as a heartwarming tale of Buck empathizing with Billy's loneliness and declaring himself part of Billy's posse. So what do you think will be the more satisfying payoff to Tommy's story? Him being formally welcomed to the family eventually? Or having him break up with Buck then cast aside with a mere "lol sucks not being a main ig"?

[average-mako-enjoyer]

I need your Kaidan opinions for the fave character game. Pwease. 😻

From the character ask game.

Oh God, I will have to change my pants by the time I'm done.

Favorite thing about them

Everything??? He's such a complex dude, and all of his complexity is shown so subtly in a way that also reflects him as a character. I love it.

But most of all, his emotional maturity, his intelligence, his self-esteem, and honestly, how incredibly badass he is.

He doesn't use Shepard as a therapist, as a fixer for his problems, as a pillar of strength to lean on. Instead, he always comes into this relationship (platonic or romantic) as an equal, and it's so refreshing to see.

Every other squadmate needs something from Shepard, and with Kaidan it's the other way around. It's Shepard who needs Kaidan, a person who will remind them that what military propaganda usually pushes as "the hardest choices a soldier can make" are actually the laziest choices.

Kaidan knows that killing is easy. Destroying is easy. But showing restraint, showing compassion, trusting someone, doing the right thing, that's hard.

Also, Kaidan is literally the only squadmate who consistently tells Shepard that they can step aside, that they don't have to do everything alone, that they have their team for a reason, and oh god, thank you Kaidan, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Least favorite thing about them

My god, he's stubborn.

And yes, Shepard needs someone like that in their close circle, but oh Kaidan, my man, my dude, my wonderful human being, you have to learn to relax, to let things go sometimes.

I think the main thing about him is that he's actually so passionate, he feels deeply, and friendship and love are so important to him, but he has trust issues, and he has standards, and he's very intelligent, and all of that runs over this deep well of emotions that he carries around.

He wants to love with abandon, but he can't. He wants to do the right thing all the time, but it's impossible. He has to learn how to compromise, how to live in the gray area.

Honestly, there are so many parallels between his and you-know-who's ark, no wonder all his fans feel so strongly about Kaidan.

Favorite line

So, so many.

"I think we're gonna need a bigger boot, Commander."

"I could shoot someone if it would make you feel better."

"Mike Hazer? Hazer the Laser? Almost didn't recognize you. ... You owe me money."

"Looking back, I have a few regrets, but not many. That's pretty damn amazing, right? Messed up kid that I was, never would have dreamed of the life I've had."

"You'll never find out."

I love his sarcastic ass. And I love all the glimpses into that deep well that is his heart. He's so good.

brOTP

Joker! Oh my God, that first dialog between them is fucking amazing. I feel like Joker is one of Kaidan's main sources of gossip (something Kaidan is interested in both professionally and recreationally), and Joker finds Kaidan's dry wit incredibly funny. They get along just fine because they enjoy teasing each other for sport, but other people probably misinterpret this as dislike. Same with him and Ash.

Also, Tali! Two nerds just talking about tech, weapon mods, all that good stuff. And he's obviously very sweet and protective of her. I really have to read about those two.

If we're talking about ME2 squadmates, his choice would obviously be Samara. I think he would've been fascinated by her story, her abilities, her lifestyle and would've hung out with her a lot. They're just very similar people in my mind, and for Kaidan, it would have been an excellent insight into the extremes of the morality he tends to lean towards.

In ME3, he probably hangs out a lot with James and Steve because he likes Steve and he can tolerate James most of the time. XD I think Kaidan and Steve have a lot in common. There's this careful quietness about them. They're both observers, they're both cautious and reserved. And I think Kaidan can see that there's kindness at the core of Steve's soul, and that's important to him.

And finally, mShenko, because whether they end up as a couple or not, they're friends first and foremost. Their romance is purely friends to lovers. Not mentor/mentee+friends to lovers, but friends to lovers. They're open and honest with each other, they care about each other deeply, they know how to tease each other without hurting anyone's feelings. They're equals.

OTP

mShenko. Oh god, it's so good. The slow burn, the maturity of it, how they don't hide behind unnecessary labels and the promises that would probably never be fulfilled. They're just there for each other despite everything, despite their time running out, and it's perfect.

Bonus points for being so obviously horny for each other.

nOTP

Kaidan/Ashley. I just think they work a lot better as friends.

Random headcanon

Kaidan doesn't really like to talk about his childhood, not because it was bad, but because he had a "rich kid's childhood", and things that were common for him throughout his life are actually quite unique and only come when you have a lot of money.

How can you casually mention your annual vacation aboard your family yacht in the company of an Earthborn orphan, a turian from Palaven, and a quarian who spent most of her life on a starship?

Also, both mShep and Kaidan enjoy being knocked around a little from time to time. So they do sparring sessions together, and this shit is _intense_.

Unpopular opinion

He does casual hookups while on shore leave like any other normal Marine. He finds a girl or a guy, fucks nasty, blows off steam, and returns to his duties.

Song i associate with them

Garbage - Control

Favorite picture of them

This one.

Thank you for this ask! I always love to talk about my man Kaidan.

[lemonsrosesandlavender]

Fae Bindings//2

Rolan x Fae reader, first chapter here (or read on AO3!)

Warnings: corsets/body mod, fae seduction/Rolan-desperation-related dubious consent, under-negotiated kink. Rolan’s bad game ending, Lorroakan abuse references. Future D/s relationship, discipline. Mild blood play. Restraints. Sounding.

Explicit below the cut!

Rolan turns away from you before he strips, drawing in ragged and uncertain breaths.

‘Second thoughts?’ you ask. Give him a choice. Give him ten choices, safe in the knowledge he’ll say -

‘No.’

He pulls the tarnished mantle from his shoulders, drags off his scuffed boots and worn trousers until he is dressed in nothing but his red undershirt. The picture he presents is uncertain, shame-ridden; hunched defensively into his crossed arms, and his tail twisted about his ankles.

You pluck the shimmering corset from its hiding place, and pad back over to him.

‘Remove your shirt, too,’ you murmur, your breaths like a soft breeze against his neck. Rolan shivers, gasps a little - but he holds himself resolutely, miserably steady.

‘I thought such garments were worn over shirts. It… is bad for the skin, to wear them without.’

‘So, Rolan, you have worn such things before?’ Your hands find his waist, tracing the faint curve that exists there now. You know full well he hasn’t; not in any of the dream visions that you saw.

‘No,’ he says, quietly. ‘I have no time for such… vanities.’

That, though, is not true. You saw a time when his hair was carefully twisted and styled, instead of hanging loose and unkempt over his shoulders. A time where his mantle was painstakingly shined, and his claws as sharp and beautiful as any fae creature’s could hope to be. Now, they have been cut down to stumps.

‘You will have all the time in the world, with me.’

Rolan twists around, tears in his eyes.

‘Are you sure? Do you really want me? Do not deceive me. Please. I cannot bear any more disappointment.’

‘Of course,’ you tell him. ‘Of course.’ Putting the corset down, you lead him by the hand to the tree that pierces through your lair from floor to ceiling, twisted round with knife-flowers.

‘What happened to your lovely claws?’

Rolan winces, his cheek twitching. ‘My master. Requires that I do not scare the customers, any more than necessary.’ His tone, at first painstakingly neutral, suddenly twists into quiet, bitter sarcasm. ‘If he cared about what our customers thought, he could aim his fist in less obvious places.’

You listen to every waver in his tone, every sway towards rebellion or defeat. A man still wishing for more, somewhere below the surface.

Reaching out, you touch his face, see his shoulders drop an inch in relief at the admission and your gentleness. Then, abruptly, they rise again.

‘I don’t deserve this,’ he gasps, tears welling in his eyes. ‘Cal and Lia died because of me. I tried to blame someone else, but it was my own wretched foolishness, my own hubris -‘

‘Hush,’ you murmur, imparting the word with just enough magic to soothe, to let you wipe the tear from his cheeks before he spills another. ‘Every mortal makes mistakes. You have paid for yours far too many times over.’

‘It could never be enough!’ he whispers. ‘I know… I know that you are using your magic to calm me.’ He shakes his head. ‘Do whatever you like. It will not change my mind. I should despise myself.’

‘Spend enough time with me, and you will find yourself perceiving mortality differently. I ask nothing of you but that you try. That you accept that somewhere deep with inside, there is a part of you that might deserve better. At the very least. Your master is not deserving of you.’

Rolan’s flicker to yours, his grimace softening from anguish to mere uncertainty, and less by the second.

‘I suppose so,’ he admits.

‘Your siblings would not have wanted to you to suffer. They wanted to see you a powerful wizard - yes, even Lia -’

You see him frown, hesitating to believe it - but so close -

‘Let me show you,’ you murmur. ‘Take one gift from me at least.’

‘I…’ He swallows. ‘Alright.’

You settle one arm around his waist, your other hand guiding his, until the tender pads of his fingers meet the sharp edges of the knife-flower, and he gasps as the silvery petals draw blood.

‘Why -’

But his question is answered before he can finish it. From the smarting, beading cuts on his fingers flows magic, magic that strokes over his claws until they are long and beautiful once more, that weaves his skin back together until nothing but a pearl of blood is left of each wound; and you lap that away with your tongue, tasting an iron willingly given, that sates where it would otherwise destroy.

Rolan groans, shivering at the feeling of your tongue on his fingers.

‘Gods,’ he whispers, clutching at you. ‘You said you would take me, so take me, Gods-damnit.’

‘Then remove your shirt.’

‘Yes -’

He yanks it off, as if he is suddenly glad to be rid of it. His cock is stiffened, not yet full but -

‘Ah - ’ he groans, as your own sharp nails tease softly over his skin, rolling down his foreskin tenderly as his cock swells to your touch. One more caress, and it is leaking. Such easily, wantonly given gifts. You lick that from your fingers too, finding in just a few drops such pleasure that you wish to swallow the whole. It must wait, though.

‘Put your arms up,’ you murmur, stepping behind him, and slip the corset around him. The first, loose lacing you weave with magic; a smooth, quick instruction to the cord to prepare itself, snaking in and out of finely-worked eyelets. Rolan’s breath is heightened; arousal, most certainly, but nervousness alongside it.

‘Is this… will I be able to take it off?’

You press a kiss to his shoulder, his wingtip, his spine, before you answer.

‘Why would you want to take it off?’

‘Zurgan - ’ He twists around, putting his clawed hand over yours as you gather up the laces. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Rolan.’ You let a little firmness wind into your voice. So little trust in you, to want the right thing for him.

‘Ah - it does not matter,’ he whispers. ‘So what if it fuses to me? I can be no worse off.’

‘That is a poor way to look at a gift.’

‘You are right. I am sorry.’

‘It is alright,’ you whisper, feeling pity for his too-quick surrender. ‘It is true. You will not be able to remove it. Even if you could, your body will be shaped by it, the muscles that once held you upright wasted away; eventually, you would not be able to sit upright without it. But that is nothing to the pleasures of being bound. All of the weight you carry on your shoulders… it will carry it for you. I will carry it for you.’

A gasp catches in his throat, his fingers no longer staying yours but seeking reassurance. His head is bowed; you raise it, meeting a little resistance at first, but as your lips brush his neck he arches it back of his own accord, whimpering.

With a snap of your fingers, you order the vines back on the tree, enough to make space for Rolan.

‘Are you ready?’

He nods quietly.

‘Then brace yourself.’

He tentatively reaches his arms up - and the vines catch them, dragging his wrists upwards.

‘Oh -’

Rolan slumps face-first against the trunk, and then immediately straightens, remembering he is about to be laced.

You pull the cords softly, carefully evening them out, ready to begin.

‘Oh Gods,’ he whispers. ‘Please.’

‘Are you afraid?’

‘No,’ he lies, but you can smell it on him. It is… intoxicating. Soon, he will learn that he has nothing to fear from you; he will understand you as well as any mortal could. But for now, you breathe it in deeply, holding the laces out as you shift forms to rut against him, first with a clit, hot and pulsing; and then a thick, hard cock.

Rolan’s tail twists round your ankle as he gasps and moans, trying awkwardly to stifle the sound but to little effect.

‘Gods - you - ah -’

‘Shhh.’

Stepping back, you begin to pull; not tight, yet, just enough that the corset begins to follow his shape, sitting close against his skin. The knife-flowers inch closer to him on the vine, making him jerk his head up.

‘Why are they -’

‘They want to be close to you. My lair breathes with all of my want.’

He doesn’t understand yet, but you can show him. You coax another, blossomless vine up between his legs, tenderly wrapping around his cock; teasing over the head, the slit -

‘Zurgan - gods - nnnnnnnhhhhhh -’

His knees buckle as the vine presses inside him, sliding down his cock slit.

‘Breathe out,’ you murmur, pulling the laces tighter. Rolan nods but… for some reason the poor mortal can’t control his breathing at all. He’s gasping raggedly, shaking as the vine fills him as deeply as it can.

‘I - am - Gods -’

You reach around and stroke his cock gently. ‘Do you feel it now? How I want you? Do you like it?’

‘Yes,’ he whimpers, his voice wet with tears. ‘You - if you keep touching me I will -’

‘Not yet,’ you tell him. He will come for you, so many times - but not yet. ‘We have more lacing to do.’

‘I see,’ he whispers.

The flowers, too, crowd around him, their soft undersides brushing his wrists.

You murmur into his ear, letting go of his cock to grasp the laces once more. ‘Be good for me. Breathe.’

‘Yes - oh -‘

Though he twitches and whimpers, he stays in place, holding himself against the tree so that you can pull, slowly, tighter - tighter

‘Nnnnhh!’

- tighter -

Rolan pants, grasping the tendrils that bind him. ‘I - feel like I cannot breathe - ‘

‘You can,’ you purr in his ear. ‘You can. Your body is not yet used to the feeling but… soon you will know it well. Do not panic.’

You draw the vine out of his cock a little; press it back in. Remind him, reassure him of your want, your power, your determination that he will feel pleasure, even if he feels like he does not deserve it. Of course, it is only overwhelming him more but… he will be thinking less of his breath and more about his aching, needy cock.

‘Ah! Ah - nnnhh - ohh -‘

‘Just a little more,’ you say, kissing his neck. ‘Steady yourself -‘

You coax the cords tight, taking pleasure in his body’s resistance, the close embrace of corset against skin, rising up to clasp his ribcage and down to kiss his hips, the bones rearranging themselves to fit around his tail as neatly as if it had always been intended for a tiefling. It was made for your beloved, after all; and now you know him, it has re-worked itself to his image.

Rolan gasps as you pull the laces one more time, binding them off with a firm tug.

‘Is it done?’

‘For today.’ You run your finger down his back, over an undulating pattern of cord and ridge, the open inches of lacing gap a luscious come-on. So much room to shape him, make him your own.

‘How does it look?’ he asks, a little stiltedly.

‘Beautiful,’ you murmur.

Your hand slips back to his pleasingly hard cock, surveying the lust that you have awakened; thick and hot and throbbing , grown more desperate with every further constriction until he now jerks and spasms at the lightest touch.

‘Are you sure?’ he whimpers. ‘I… would like to see.’

‘I promise, you will see yourself in the mirror soon. I would not deny you such a vision. But first…’

Softly, you call back the vines from his hands, and from his now surely aching slit, kissing his cheek as his shoulders drop and his hands reach searchingly for his waist. You catch them gently.

‘Let me take care of you.’

[planet-crait]

@eat-a-dicker

First off I am flattered and a little sad this subject hasn’t been talked about much given how prominently Dev is in the season and his major role in the season finale. Looking back I didn’t dive in as much as I probably should have on this point I did in other posts but as an analysis post for Dev I should have gone into it more.

But yes thank you for verbalizing that better than me. Dev is extremely traumatized and dealing with all kinds of issues stemming from his neglect and Hazel should not have to be the one to try and help Dev cope with this. But at the end of the day her lack of understanding what Dev is dealing with and how it emotionally affects him does harm Dev. She’s not a bad person or did anything wrong I need to make that clear but neither of those facts change the fact that it hurt Dev.

When Hazel ends their friendship over, in Devs eyes, a hat and being upset about her hat, that would hurt a lot because again, material things are being held in higher regard than him. Despite the fact that he disobeyed a direct order from his father and actively tried to hinder his efforts to find the anomaly to protect Hazel from his father. Again this is the man he is desperate to earn the love and affection from and he still defied him for Hazel who at the end of the day rejects him. She assumes the worst of him and won’t even give him a chance to explain himself despite very clearly wanting to talk and explain.

Hazel is 10 and doesn’t have a clue what Dev is dealing with which is good, but it makes things really hard for Dev who is not good at expressing his emotions well and needs someone who can understand what he’s dealing with and know how to approach him with these more touchy subjects and situations.

It makes this whole thing difficult because Hazel isn’t a bad person but I think in a lot of ways Hazel herself handled the Founders Day mess very poorly. Dev isn’t allowed to apologize or explain, she just runs off angrily and never tries to reach out, and acts in Battle of the Dimmasonian like it’s odd he thinks they aren’t friends despite her doing nothing to reach out despite basically telling him she doesn’t want him around anymore. It’s hard because Hazel is a kid as well and isn’t going to be great at navigating more difficult situations but it’s hard to fully hand wave how she acted in Lost and Founders Day. But also I have some bias here in this regard so that could definitely be clouding my view on this stuff.

It’s a very difficult situation for them both to navigate and neither really have the tools to deal with this stuff but it doesn’t negate the severe harm it’s causing Dev.

There is also the fact that at the end of the day, Dev is only a situational friend for lack of better words to Hazel which adds to the pain of it. From what I’ve seen, Dev cares a lot more about Hazel then Hazel cares about Dev, he only hangs out with her when fairies are involved or he invites her, otherwise he’s not seemingly welcome to join in which adds another layer of sadness to this whole thing. He loves with his whole heart and no one seems interested in returning that love he has to give. He gives and gives and no one is willing to give that same love in return, which might also be adding to how closed off he is at the beginning of the show. He’s so used to rejection he assumes that’s the default and needs someone willing to break down his walls.

At the end of the day, Dev is a hurt and traumatized kid who has no clue how to navigate social situations and everyone in his life is clueless to his lack of understanding and takes those fumbles as intentionally being hostile when that isn’t always the case. When he puts his heart out there it gets crushed in over and over again and no one in his life is willing to help out the pieces back together and in some cases just breaks him even more. And a ten year old trying to navigate this hurts so much.

Part 1 analysis of Dev Dimmadone from Fairly Oddparents A New Wish. A couple of things I want to mention before jumping into this, I have not finished the first season. Last episode I watched was Pattys Possum Party Playground, but I have thoughts and I decided to share them before I reach the end so I can see how my thoughts change as the season goes on or after I finish the finale. Second I recognize I have some bias regarding Dev. I’ll go into more detail why but I heavily empathize with Dev and his struggles so it’s something I wanted to make clear before I started. I’ll also put a Trigger Warning for discussing abuse and my own experiences with it so please keep that in mind. Apologies for how long this gets I didn’t realize how much I had to say about Dev until I started writing. With all of that said let’s get into it.

Something that caught my attention very very early on regarding Dale and Devs relationship is it is painfully and abundantly clear Dale has no love for Dev. We see Dev adores and looks up to his father but no matter how hard Dev tries that love is not reciprocated.

It is unfortunately common for kids who are neglected at home to lash out at school and misbehave, it gets to a point where even negative attention is better than no attention. This is of course not healthy or good behavior but more desperate acts of a kid desperate for any sort of attention.

Growing up, I was in a somewhat not necessarily similar situation to Dev but I can somewhat see parts of myself in Dev? I’m not sure the best wording for it but I was not wealthy nor my family, but I was largely outcasted by my peers and ignored and bullied by them. It was hell. And while Dev isn’t bullied by anyone, he certainly is more the bully, he’s also very alone.

Despite being bullied I had my family who at least cared and I had the occasional recess person? I can’t remember their official title but they wherent teachers lolz. But regardless they took pity on me and let me hang out with them. For Dev though….he doesn’t have anyone in his corner. His dad doesn’t care about him, he has no friends and the teachers don’t care about him. He’s just painfully alone. No one has his back. The sins of his father are put on Devs shoulders regardless of how realistic it is to blame him for things. We see Mr. Guzman glaring at Dev in Lost and Founders Day

All Dev did was hand out bracelets his dad made but Mr. Guzman is suspicious, it seems, of Dev himself as if he is up to something bad with them. The animators actively choose to have Mr. Guzman look at a nine year old this way. He could have been looking this way at the bracelets but no. It was directed towards Dev himself. Despite him, for now, being friends with Hazel and seemingly behaving better Mr. Guzman doesn’t trust that Dev is changing and improving. Instead of being glad something changed with Dev, Dev is met with distrust and suspicion.

In that same episode Hazel assumes the worst of Dev and assumes he was behind everything that happened at the Founders Day Festival. She refuses to listen to him and even give him a chance to explain and decides he’s a bad person. Now this isn’t to say Hazel is a bad person for this, more it was unfair and so far I haven’t seen any real resolution to this. Dev almost seems to be held to a different standard in this regard, we see Hazel screw up big time in The Wellsington Hotellsington in regards to Winn and Jasmine and they forgive her right after she apologizes despite Winn not knowing her for long. Hazel similarly hasn’t known Dev for that long but won’t even let him apologize and storms off very angrily and seemingly never reached out to him to try and work things out.

No Dev does not either but I don’t blame him as much in that regard because Dev clearly has never had friends before Hazel. He doesn’t know really it’s okay for friends to fight and make up and still be friends. And with how Hazel blew up at him I was kind of thinking as well Hazel decided the bridge was burned so to speak and was admittedly surprised when she said in Battle of the Dimmisonian that they could still be friends (which I…question how accurate a statement from Hazel that is but I’ll get their I promise). It’s interesting to me Dev is worried about how Hazel perceives him despite them not being friends. Even though Hazel turned her back on him, he still wants some sort of connection with her even if he’s going about it in an unhealthy manner. Again negative attention is better then no attention, so even if it means fighting and bickering he’d rather take that than have absolutely nothing.

This kid has sky high walls he’s built, but they’re shaky and crumble at the slightest pressure. After only two days of being friendly Dev is willing to disobey a direct order from his father and put himself in harms way to keep Hazel safe. This is very likely the first time Dev has ever disobeyed his father, the man he is desperate to prove himself to and get some sort of love and affection from. He risks ever getting that from his father to protect Hazel, someone he’s not been on friendly terms with for all that long. Which makes him being so alone all the sadder.

I mentioned it in another post but Dev has a lot of love to give people who are willing to put in honestly what feels like the bare minimum of work to break down his walls. And it seems no one has even tried to get past them. He’s written off by everyone as nothing but a rich bully that doesn’t care when that couldn’t be further from the truth when push comes to shove. He’s willing to disobey his father, someone he still is desperate to win the love and affection of, to protect someone that matters to him.

Circling back to the point I mentioned earlier about my doubts regarding Hazel still considering Dev her friend. Now this may just be an oversight but…it still happened so I feel it’s okay to discuss here. In Pattys Possum Party Playground we see pretty much all the classmates we’ve seen previously hanging out and having fun, Dev however is missing. I’m not saying anyone has to invite him, but if you consider someone a friend…why not invite them? Maybe the background characters were thrown in to make it seem more like a party and to emphasize them then being alone. Why not include Dev then as well? Why is he left out of the fun with everyone? A line from say Hazel commenting his dad wouldn’t let him come would do a lot of heavy lifting to show how terrible Dale is and how rough Dev has it and show Hazel is thinking about him.

Again, Hazel doesn’t have to be his friend. But she said they could be friends which is why I mention this. I will admit this is potentially where my own biases come into play. I was the kid people said was their “friend” to get teachers off of their backs and I just didn’t realize this is what was happening and it hurt when I was excluded from things. If I was in Devs shoes I’d feel hurt I wasn’t invited to something everyone else was invited to. And I imagine it would hurt even more as someone already struggling to try and get some sort of love and affection from anyone really.

I hope I’m wrong and I hope we see more of Hazel and Dev rebuilding their friendship, but I’m concerned we won’t really see that or any consequences to that really play out. Again could be wrong I’ll have to wait and see in that regard this is just how I’m seeing things with my own biases as of right now where I’m at in season 1.

We know that Dev gets Peri because he is miserable due to his and Hazels fight and his father’s very public rejection of him. Godparents are supposed to help make things easier to deal with for their kids and help them navigate their difficult lives. Unfortunately, so far from what I’ve seen Peri and Dev aren’t a great match for Godparent and Godchild. I’ve only seen their dynamic for one episode, but when they first met, we see Dev is extremely exited when he first meets Peri:

However, something things to go very wrong because he goes from being sad but not wearing his sunglasses to being back in his sunglasses and being overall disinterested in Peri while Peri seems very frustrated and disinterested in forming any sort of bond with Dev.

I don’t know what all has happened between the pair, but for me it’s notable he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses when he and Peri first met and are wearing them again next time we see him. He was so excited to met Peri and I wonder if he wanted to try and have some sort of bond with him that was shut down. We don’t know obviously and it’s just speculation on my end but it’s something I wonder about.

When Peri notices his parents later on in the episode he’s so focused on himself he’s not even acknowledging Dev or his questions and seems uninterested in sharing about himself. For me, it reads that Peri is really only focused on granting wishes and not about with forming any sort of bond with Dev, something Dev right now desperately needs. He’s lonely and sad and lashing out because he’s been denied real affection for so long and doesn’t know how to connect with other people. It’s sad that his AU Pairs seem to on some level recognize this as they try and comfort Dev after Lost and Founders Day and acknowledge that they cannot give Dev what he needs.

I honestly think Dev would be much better off with a Godparent like Cosmo and Wanda or even Juandissimo, he needs a Godparent who is willing and knows how to connect with a kid like Dev who has a seriously troubled homelife and Peri doesn’t have the tools or knowledge to really help Dev in the ways he needs. I imagine based on what we’ve seen recently of what Jorgan thinks Godparents need to be for their Godkids I am not surprised Peri isn’t handling Dev the best. He was likely taught granting wishes correctly and quickly for their kids is what makes a Godparent good, rather than forming a connection and understanding their godkid. This isn’t exactly Peri’s fault, he’s new and inexperienced but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s not helping Dev either and granting wishes isn’t what he needs, he needs love and someone to be their for him that loves and cares about him.

A side note, I realize again this is more of a gag and not meant to be taken seriously but since I’m looking at all of the things that has happened to Dev so far I just have to wonder. In Battle of the Dimmasonian, Peri’s first instinct is to hide Dev from his parents when they ask if he has a Godkid.

Again I know this is just for a gag but don’t we all love playing the game of “find ways to emotionally devastate our favorite characters even more so we can give them comfort and put them back together again? No? Just me? Well I’m gonna do it anyways. If I was in Devs shoes in this moment I would probably be thinking that my Godparent is ashamed of me, that they don’t want to be associated with me or anyone to know that they where assigned to help me. We know Peri is anxious and doesn’t want his parents smothering him or being weird about his first godkid but Dev definitely doesn’t know this given all the questions he asked that Peri didn’t answer. In Devs mind this could be just another person rejecting him without giving him a chance. Another public rejection of him.

Again I know this is a nothing burger moment in the grand scheme of things but it’s fun to imagine something for it. This being the moment Dev realizes Peri is just another adult in his life stuck with him who doesn’t care about him. Dev falling into the mindset of “if he doesn’t care about me, why should I care about him?” Because angst is just a little fun to think about.

Dev is so desperate for love and attention he tries to get something for his dad by trying to make it work related in the hopes of Dale noticing and agreeing to do “work”. Asking to throw merch boxes back and forth, testing proximity sensors by holding hands this kid will do anything to get something from Dale but it’s not enough.

It’s hard to properly describe the devastation that comes from realizing someone who should love you, who you thought loves you never did. It’s a gut punch over and over again every time you look at them. This recently happened to me and to be frank I’m still not okay from it. You think someone has your back and cares about you but then you come to realize that you’re nothing to them. For me I swing wildly between rage and crying uncontrollably, for a kid as young as Dev I can’t even imagine what that knowledge is doing to him. And what’s worse is even when knowing you don’t matter to this person and that they don’t love you, your love for them doesn’t just….go away. It lingers, longs for some sort of proof that it was just a fluke, that they love you, that you’re not unlovable and the smallest scraps they throw your way have you scrambling to hold onto that, to show them that you are worthy of their love, but it never works, and you’re just tossed away again like trash. You start to wonder if it’s you that’s the problem. You think there has to be something you’ve done to warrant being treated this way. There isn’t though, but to accept that you would also have to contend with the person you love being a monster and it’s not an easy pill to swallow, it’s almost easier to see yourself as the problem and try desperately to try and “fix” whatever your loved one thinks is wrong with you. You live in survival mode just trying to get through it all and it doesn’t just shut off when you’re not around the person or people causing the harm it’s constantly running.

Since this is a kids show I highly highly doubt they’ll really truly dive into the trauma and after affects of dealing with emotional abuse. When I was a kid shows where willing to dive into these topics but shows these days tend to shy away from it (something I have issue with but that’s not the focus of todays post). I just more am sharing because I think some aspects are applicable to Dev.

Again I have a support system, I have friends who worry and care and let me vent and cry and try and deal with it all. Dev has no one in his corner. No adults looking out for him, no friends to offer comfort, he’s painfully alone and dealing with this sheer devastation, pain so bad it’s the tipping point for him getting a Godparent who unfortunately seems overall disinterested in really engaging with Dev in any meaningful way.

Previous posts have somewhat discussed the Dale situation but it was very uh angry for Dev so maybe I can try and write out my thoughts without wanting to commit a crime. Dale is a horrible parent. There isn’t any other way to put it. He’s a shit parent who emotionally abuses and manipulates Dev, who is desperate for his love and affection. Dev tries to sell acts of affection as work related to try and get attention from his dad and is willing to do insane things if it’s what he wants (he seriously considers eating a lizard. This kid is just so desperate for love). Dale emotionally manipulates Dev and tries to use his own past to guilt trip Dev and deny letting him just be a kid. Kids shouldn’t ever have to work, they’re kids they should be able to just be kids but Dale has Dev so spun around and desperate for love he’ll work if it means maybe his dad will love him. It doesn’t work but Dev is desperate and willing to do anything if it means getting even crumbs of affection from his father who can’t even be bothered to great his son and walk away without him forcing Dev to run to catch up.

Dale clearly has been extremely absent from Devs life overall, we see in Peace of Pizza just how excited Dev was when he thought his dad actually came for Dev.

He’s so happy and carefree and excited to see his dad come to support Dev and the anger when he realizes it’s not Dale hurts all the more. For just a moment he thought maybe his dad did care and want to be there for him but no, he doesn’t even care. It’s notable to me that when he finds out Hazel tried to trick him into thinking his dad came is when Dev really gets angry. He was mostly just playing games and such until that moment when he seems to get genuinely angry and I wonder if that comes from a place of deep hurt. The one thing he wants more then anything is for his dad to actually be there for him, and in his mind Hazel takes that desire and mocks him with it, trying to parade a pretend dad just to use him to get what she wants from him.

This next part is pure speculation but I just don’t know another way to explain this. After Dev revealed he’s lactose intolerant and him being forced to watch everyone else have fun and enjoy something he cannot have a why he was fighting so hard against letting them have one, Hazel mentions they could have ordered him a lactose free version which makes Dev freeze and comment he thought that was a myth. Now I know from a writing standpoint they wanted to make sure it’s Hazel who saves the day, however it carries a very painful implication of Dale likely actively lying to Dev about lactose free alternatives for Dev. I can’t imagine why he would do such a thing, maybe he thinks they taste or smell gross and don’t want them in the house? So he thinks it’s easier to just lie and say they don’t exist and eat pizza and such in front of Dev who can only watch in misery.

And yes I am assuming Dale likely would do this based off of when Dev talks about how he would have to sit and watch everyone enjoy pizza and not get any. He sounds like he’s talking from personal experience and with how sensitive to it he is it feels more like a reaction to something he’s had to deal with before vs a fear of it he has.

Regardless of it I’m correct or not, it is undeniable the school really spectacularly failed Dev in this regard and once again set him up for failure. What do I mean by that? In Peace of Pizza we see Dev show Hazel his allergy card.

(Yes I am going on a mini tangent here bare with me I didn’t know a better place to put this) now I don’t know about you but I have only ever seen allergy cards like this in either a school setting or perhaps at a large dinner where everyone is defaulted to being served the same plate of food and people with allergies or other dietary restrictions have a card so the server knows they have one of the special plates. This to me indicates the school knows or should reasonably know Dev can’t have lactose. Despite them reasonably knowing Dev can’t have pizza, they do not offer him any alternatives to enjoy as a reward. As a kid when something like this was done, an alternative was given to the kid with allergies so they could still participate in the fun and not feel left out, however for Dev it seems the default is he’s left out. He’s expected to and frowned upon for not participating in Kindness Day despite, in his eyes, him being actively punished if he does. While everyone else gets a reward to enjoy, he would have to watch and be miserable. No, this is not the end of the world obviously but it is incredibly unkind to Dev to not have anything for him that he can enjoy as a reward despite being expected to participate for a reward the school knows he cannot have and it carries an extra sting happening on a day literally called kindness day.

Yes I know that the school is trying to teach kids the importance of kindness so it shouldn’t be about the reward, but again it does feel wildly unfair to reward most students while seemingly singling out one to not get anything. They’re trying to teach kindness while refusing to be kind to one of their students. And further yes I understand this was done so we could see Hazel be a good negotiator and be the hero. Yes fine, but it is hard to ignore the implications this writing choice carries regarding Dev. It shows the school is extremely disinterested at best regarding Dev and his health needs and I don’t blame Dev for not wanting to participate if this is what the school does when Dev has an allergy restriction and can’t enjoy something for the entire class. Hazel has to be the one to wish for a pizza for Dev. It’s not Hazels job to make sure her classmates feel included and have fun. It shouldn’t fall on her shoulders to help her classmates, that should be on the teachers but they didn’t seem to notice or care Dev was feeling left out. The school could afford to buy a whole pile of pizzas it doesn’t feel unreasonable to think they could afford to do something so Dev doesn’t feel so left out.

Like I don’t know get him Oreos or something it doesn’t have to be big just something so he’s not the only one who doesn’t get anything. Again yes I realize the point was to have Hazel save the day and get her and Dev closer I understand this but that doesn’t change the fact that it makes the school seem to not care about a kid who is already severely emotionally neglected at home. They could have had the school offer an alternative that Dev didn’t like or if they wanted to keep this a secret have Mr. Guzman be the one to hand Dev the lactose free pizza and make some comment and realize he forget to tell Dev or something. Yes it’s not ideal to have him forget to say anything but for me it would be easier to hand wave away then absolutely nothing, and again it just adds onto Dev the feeling that he is unimportant and doesn’t matter. These moments of rejection and loneliness start to add up and get harder and harder to deal with emotionally.

Rewinding some for just a second but in Stanky Danky we do see a brief moment of Dale showing more love and affection to a sentient trash can than Dev. Once again it’s a short moment on screen for us but we can see Dev is pretty upset and hurt by this rejection.

Dev seems to bounce back from this pretty quickly, possibly he’s used to his dad behaving this way which is a whole other can of worms to open up but at this point, he’s not friends with Hazel and still has his walls up which I think potentially plays a part in this but I’ll circle back to that.

Then theirs the uh infamous statue scene that is emotionally devastating and no one besides Hazel and sort of Wanda seem to recognize how fucked up it is. Even still Hazel forgets all about Dev the second she wins the hat and once again, Dev is a lower priority than an inanimate object. Let me be clear, I am not angry at Hazel, she’s a kid at the end of the day and frankly it’s very easy to distract kids. She’s not a bad kid or friend here for getting distracted I’m just discussing from the Dev side of things that in this episode the two people that matter most to him have placed an inanimate object as their priority over Dev. Whether or not Dev realizes Hazel forgot about him for her hat isn’t exactly clear, but it happened and I talk about it solely because it makes my heart hurt and if I have to suffer so do you.

What’s interesting to me is we see Dev has been suffering for some time, but it’s only after Founders Day that he finally is given a Godparent. Arguably it’s likely the getting direct confirmation that boots are more important to his father then his own son, he bought them on the day Dev was born, seemingly if Devs math is correct, and that overshadowed Devs birth, but I find it interesting to explore some other factors that maybe make the blow feel even worse.

We know Dev hasn’t had a friend before Hazel, she’s really the first person that he called a friend. She helped bring down his sky high walls that his classmates seemed to intimidated by to even attempt to cross over. (I also wonder if somehow a fear of Dale maybe also involved with his lack of friends). And we also know Dale is at best emotionally distant which likely Dev impersonated to try and fit in better with his dad and to try and protect himself from getting hurt. However, Hazel breaks down that protective barrier he’s had on so when his dads statue is revealed and he and Hazel fight, it hurts more then it did previously because he doesn’t have that protection anymore and has to face the full brunt of that pain and rejection. Not only that but he is also, in his mind, losing his first and only friend despite him risking so much trying to keep her safe from his dad. Being rejected hurts, but being rejected while trying to do the right thing? Thats got to be an even bigger emotional blow.

I know some of what happens in the season 1 finale, I don’t know all the details or how we get their but I have a feeling Devs feelings of being unwanted and unloved potentially play a massive role in his breakdown. His school couldn’t care less about him, his dad is emotionally abusive, he doesn’t have any friends and every time he gets a glimpse of happiness it’s brutally ripped away from him. This is a literal 9 year old child, and he’s having to deal with being neglected and ignored by any person in his life who is supposed to really be there for him. It’s realistic to life kids slip through the cracks far too often, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less, especially knowing that things just get worse for him from here. All I can hope is season 2 gives him some relief and he gets someone in his life who genuinely cares about him and will be there for him.

That’s everything so far I have in regards to thoughts about Dev. I always love hearing other people’s thoughts and I certainly will have more as I continue with the season.

[cerealmonster15]

i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent

[triglycercule]

no funny little thoughts today. have this instead,,,,,, mtt fighting shshahsgahagsgaa CHOKES ok i lied maybe i DO have funny little thoughts below where the reference is :3

this is SUCH a cool composition shot i had to draw something based off it (ignoring the erm. the flashing,,,,, this game came out like 10 years ago just ignore that)

anyways triglycercule what are your thoughts??? funny you asked triglycercule allow me to illuminate :3 so ive been remembering that one ask from like 3 or 4 months ago where i answered like well i like to consider the trio to just have met one day and then decided oh hey we should like totally explore the multiverse together (my excuse to draw them in any possible situation possible (mtt at an amusement park when) (soon (probably not))) and recently i was like WAIT i could probably like totally find a way for them to meet because just saying they met (is a totally valid use of my creator powers BUT) is uncreative and vague,,,,,

so i was like damn. how COULD i get them to meet 🧐🧐🧐 so i was like ok so dust beats human. done and done. but like bros BOUND to get bored. like if he gets bored from not having the human to kill then he's gonna seek out SOME other form of entertainment. so dust is like ok how about i work on some old ancient machines i made b4 to pass the time and one of these ends up being like a universal traveler thingy. and to his own surprise he actually MANAGES to get it done???? (i totally didnt steal this idea from myself,,,,, whaaat youre saying there's another triglycercule dust that came up with a universe hopper machine??? NO (sorry mania))

and oops instead of staying in dusttale like he intended dust accidentally gets chucked into horrortale (bro just wanted the sense of accomplishment not to thrown into some random world.) and then cue like horror and him meeting and its all tense and confusing and then horror paps comes around and hes like OMG ⁉️TWO BROTHERS ‼️‼️ and then invites dust over for a nice sweet little bowl of human spaghetti. unfortunately for dust the little teleporter device is no longer connected to dusttale's core (because hes not IN dusttale) so he just kinda has to suck it up and deal with it until he can find a portable power source

dust's not trying to get KILLED out here so he asks horror (who sadly cannot push dust into blue snow because paps is very enthusiastic about his appearance) where he can find like batteries or something. and horror makes some off hand comment about like power sources and his eye being in the core and how theres like no power and oh why did dust immediately start listening once horror mentioned his eye,,,,,, dusts not gonna rip horror's eye out (he has no reason 2 if theres a perfectly good 1 @ the core!) so he tells horror what he needs the power source for and then hes like i can help you get food for your buddies if you help me help you. ok? ok

and then they sneak into the core to get the eye and oops dust didnt you learn your lesson last time!! the little teleporter thingy brings them to another world AGAIN (and now horror's PISSED because this wasn't in their little deal) and guess where is is,,,,, you already know its something new. and i guess to make things uncomplicated this is a something new where killer already killed his chara but he hasn't tried to reset the world and kill himself (and therefore attract nightmare) yet (he's getting there!)

not like they think the au is anything other than just a wasteland because there is literally like nobody around but they stumble into killer and it doesn't even take like more than a minute before a fight breaks out (i probably need to think more about what happened and why they started fighting but knowing the trio its BOUND to happen) and lowkey killer is getting his ass beat what the hell??? he has never experienced a fight where he's been on the losing end in a long ass time & mindgames arent working because they keep seeing through his shit??? (because horror and dust somehow even though they barely know each other and horror's pissed @ dust have like craaaazy synergy and coordination & killer hasnt faught them ever before + yk yk inner turmoil at seeing other versions of yourself) so he gets annoyed and pulls out the blaster to end it

dust and horror don't DIE outright (not like they would be able to tank killer's blaster) because killer decided to be like hey these guys are new and cool and interesting. i should keep them around instead of killing them off and see how much i can play around with them :3 so he just blasts them until theyre at like 0.0000000000000001 HP :3333 and then idk thats it 4 now,,,,,, i think this is silly and fun and cool and i can imagine it in my head and OH NO THE VOICES (make a comic) THEYRE GETTING LOUDER (you should draw this) NO WAIT MY MOTIVATION (coooomic would be a perfect medium for this) im sorry inner voices i cant,,,,,,,

[bibiana112]

Girl are you okay? Cause you've been looking through the "My lesbian experience with loneliness" tag again

Well the short answer is no :D

[annelouiseoosterhuis]

you’re pretty. real pretty.

anne-louise short-circuited. first, she froze, mouth hanging open slightly. then, the blush already on her face from her previous embarrassment deepened to a hot, scarlet red, and crawled up from her neck to the apples of her cheeks and up to the tips of her ears. a hesitant smile flickered over her face, almost as if she was glitching in real time. she never took compliments well. she’d hate to sound conceited, as she never thought of herself as pretty despite fitting into the conventional beauty standard, but she was used to drunk customers commenting on her appearance in a sometimes sweet, but usually crude way, or if they were trying to butter her up after she cut them off for the night. a part of her, deep within, was still that awkward girl in middle school, despite being halfway through her thirties. little annie-lou had suffered through her classmates calling her weird and ugly. she suffered through boys pretending to ask her out, just to laugh in her face when she said yes, or mean girls in school handing her a note that they said came from her crush of the month, but in reality said crush had no idea what she was talking about after approaching them and often got offended that the weird girl with two moms would dare to think they’d like her.

so, yes, she had some scars that had yet to fully heal. that left her sputtering when someone complimented her in any other capacity beyond ‘wow, your style is so cool and witchy!’ or ‘i love that stitchwork, can you show me how you did that?’ when it came to compliments on her looks, she had no idea what to say or do. but then they laughed! briefly, anne-louise bristled again. flashbacks of middle school trauma poisoned her mind and if he hadn’t explained himself just a second later, she might have burst into tears. “now i know you’re lying, because not a soul in this world thinks i could kick anyone’s ass.” anne-louise settled on a joke, though she wasn’t really kidding. “but, uh… thank you.” she finally accepted the compliment, deciding to trust that it wasn’t a prank. she couldn’t let the comment go without thanking them, at the very least. she was too polite for that.

“o–okay.” confused on why he wanted her to join him outside, anne-louise followed them anyway. it was a slow night, and she’d be able to see anyone coming in off the street through the window. on the weekdays, no one really came to o’shea’s unless they were regulars, so they’d know just to wait for her to come back in to take their drink. she hoped, at least. if someone came in and stole a bottle of liquor from behind the bar, she doubted she’d be able to escape a lecture from leon by invoking his uncle’s name. david, the former owner, would be pissed at her, too, if that happened; usually, he'd let her get away with murder, but not theft. that was the problem with anxiety—she ran through several different horrible scenarios in between the time it took to walk around the bar and head outside. she wrapped a strand of hair around her left index finger, using the other hand to daintily shake his own once they made it outside the building. “almost! it’s anne-louise.” an incredibly long name, it came from her moms being unable to pick between their respective choices for their daughter. in the end, they combined the two and cursed her with having to constantly spell it. “most people call me annie-lou, though.” or sometimes just annie, but never just lou. “nice to meet you, leo.” she tried not to wrinkle her nose at the smell of burning nicotine.

If Leo could declare they were knowledgeable in any category, he would be able to boast over his emotional intelligence. Though he tended to discredit his own feelings, snubbing his nose at them and waving them off without so much as a second glance, he could read others well. Most of the time - there were categories he would always be clueless in, merely because societal norms when it came to relationships still boggled his mind. But he could pick up on the little things, and a small grin appeared on his face as he watched Anne-Louise go through every emotion in the ‘surprised’ tier before finally settling on embarrassment. Which Leo didn’t really understand - embarrassment confounded him, and she had nothing to fuss over. Never when it came to him. It didn’t mean he wasn’t still endeared all the same, though, still leaning in close into her space, but properly taking in her features this time. They were pleasing, to say the least.

“You’re pretty. Real pretty.” He pressed, something as simplistic as pretty feeling improper, but it was his usual go to. Despite what someone might perceive about Leo, descriptors like beautiful and sexy always made him want to roll his eyes. They felt like if a word could be a try hard - the compliment was always real when he said pretty. It felt like the most truthful word that didn’t need to be dressed up. It just was. And she was pretty. Realising he’d sounded a bit surprised, like he’d originally expected an ogre as he came closer, Leo let out a sudden snort of laughter, stumbling to explain himself. “I sounded like an asshole. I just meant - when you blushed, it was kinda adorable. Don’t kick my ass, you look like you’d kick my ass if I said the wrong thing. It’s meant to be a compliment, I swear.”

It didn’t shock him that she didn’t smoke, but he was pleasantly surprised when she took up his offer to join him. He half expected to be shooed off by now, like a mosquito that wouldn’t stop droning in your ear, but if she was going to continue entertaining him, Leo wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. “Course I want you to join me.” He said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Eagerly waiting for her to come around the bar top, opening the door and everything as they stepped outside - though he had the temperament of the Tasmanian Devil, Leo still thought himself a gentleman. Occasionally. “Don’t kill me,” Because all the best sentences started that way, “but… Annie? Anna? I know I’ve heard it before - wait, don’t tell me! It’s Annie, final answer.” In his excitement, Leo’s accent drawled out, thick as molasses. “Leo,” he introduced next, shoving his lighter into his pocket after igniting a cigarette, and holding his hand out for her to shake. “Enchante.”

[sixohsixoheightfourtwo]

re: what fandom 'a little life' came from, my immediate knee-jerk thought was "backstreet boys." i have absolutely no basis for this other than Terminally Online Brain Worms esp bc..........there are 5 of those boyband fellas and as far as i remember only 4 main characters in that book lmfao. what can i say. the boyband angle feel right

yeah i'll incorporate that into my belief system