#hurt 118

[daniwib]

Oh look, it's my current wip!

I love when trauma makes characters messy. I love when characters don't know how to show love. I love when they lash out. I love when they're vile and break down. I love characters who aren't perfect victims. I love when stories don't excuse behaviour but allow you to understand it

[captain-flint]

I wanted to be a part of that. You were.

[louferrignojrofficial]

buck being sad and guilty whilst his friends have a dance party

[beyourownanchor6]

—chris doesn't come back au is finally here ya'll!! not only is this the longest fic i've ever written, but it's also my 200th buddie fic!! thank you to everyone who's encouraged me on this journey; can't wait to take ya'll on this angst fest 🫶🏻

rated: e | words: 110k | ch. 14/14 | read on ao3

summary:

Christopher was gone, missing.

It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but as Eddie watched the man he loved break right in front of him, he knew Buck blamed himself, that the guilt was already eating him alive.

Eddie had the urge to be in two places at once, wanting to comfort Buck, but needing to find his son. Chris was his whole world; Buck had stepped right into it.

They didn’t find Chris that night, or the next. He was gone, swept away with the storm. Some things floated back to shore, while others, well—they were lost forever.

—or—

After the tsunami, Christopher goes missing. He doesn’t come back, at least, not right away. This is NOT mcd.

THIS FIC IS COMPLETE!

tagging squad below, just lmk if you wanna be added or removed <3

tags: @loserdiaz @redlightsandicedtea @loveyourownsmiilee @monsterrae1 @bi-buckrights @swiftiebuckleyhan @honestlydarkprincess @queerbuckleys @spotsandsocks @justsmilestuffhappens @eddiiediaz @djdangerlove @eddiebabygirldiaz @elvensorceress @jackluvsdaniel @stanningsky @wh0re-behavi0r @ronordmann @spaceprincessem @transbuck @giddyupbuck @wildlife4life @betty-boom @hippolotamus @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @underwaterninja13 @pirrusstuff @nmcggg @theotherbuckley @louis-tenn @the-gayest-wug @buckley-diaz-rules @muppetbuddie @gamer-kai @blorbodiaz @saybiwithme @trashbaget @steadfastsaturnsrings @bibuckbuckgoose @wikiangela @hobbitnarwhal @shortsighted-owl @pirrusstuff @goldencherrymooon @kinardbuckley @daffi-990 @greenfairrryy @mattsire

[hood-ex]

"I've never understood the desire to harm. To hurt. The desire to destroy."

You sure about that, Dick?

Joker: Last Laugh #6

[aventuras-de-andre]

a stab wound would’ve hurt less than chp 118

[buckslafdhoodie]

I know I mostly deal in fluff but hear me out.

Imagine Tommy going down in a helicopter crash, similar in nature to the one Owen and Hen have in the crossover episode. Right down into an active forest fire, no gps, no radio, no backup. Just him and the flames and a few broken bones.

Now imagine Buck, at home, knowing Tommy is on scene at the fire upstate and keeping the news on while he does chores, cooking dinner, maybe even babysitting Jee-Yun so Maddie and Chimney can have a date night.

He has his mac and cheese half way out of the oven when the news anchor of the hour reports on the presumed death of one firefighter who went down in a helicopter just moments earlier. Ear ringing, heart racing, mind spinning as he sees the footage of the helicopter Tommy sent him a selfie in front of earlier plummeting into a flame filled valley hours away.

Before he can even stop to turn off the oven, Bobby is calling him and Hen is texting the station group chat, but all Buck can think about is his Tommy, his boyfriend dying alone in the middle of the helicopter they met inside.

And Tommy? He’s limping towards high ground, up the side of the valley away from the fire line, praying to the smoke filled sky that the casual peck he gave Evan before leaving the loft that morning wouldn’t be the last, even as the fire rages around him and his adrenaline begins to dwindle.

(Buck promptly asks Lucy a favor in getting him, Bobby, Hen, and Chim up to the fire as quick as possible and Tommy finds himself in between two boulders that shield him from the flames as the wind shifts away from him, leaving him stranded but thankfully alive for a full day before he hears the sound of some ATVs and familiar voices nearby.)

[stolenkissesdiaz]

me? oh i’m good yk just thinking about how maybe buck gets all excited when he finds or learns something he knows chris likes but when he goes to send it to him, he remembers they haven’t spoken since he left. u think he ever goes to eddie’s house bc he misses chris and after he opens the door, for a split second, he forgets he’s gone and his smile drops slightly when he remembers? how eddie probably notices and bites his cheek looking away with guilt bc he forgets he’s not the only one that misses chris? u think they rewatch chris’ favorite movies? that buck practices cooking his favorite foods? or has a list in his notes app of a bunch of book and documentary recs and new places to show chris when he comes back? that he keeps chris’ favorite snacks stocked in his loft? or that buck comes over eddie’s house and sends eddie to grab something just so buck can dust off chris’ bedroom so eddie doesn’t see? how he probably looks around the room feeling a little sick bc it feels like chris is dead sometimes? confused why there was a lump in his throat when eddie told him chris didn’t dress up this year for halloween bc they usually always do…..laugh out loud. lmfao even.

[taleofdaringdo]

Not thinking about how Tommy may have looked forward to this Christmas not being alone.

Not thinking about how Tommy may have already been planning how to spend it, hoped he'd be invited to the Christmas party thrown by Bobby and Athena, or spend it with Buck and Eddie

And DEFINITELY not thinking about how this will be not only yet another lonely christmas, but also a Christmas spent in heartbreak and devastation

No... I'm not doing okay 😭😭

[fandomqueen6754]

I’m looking for a fic where Eddie tells a story about his dad taking away a plush when he was a kid and thinks it’s a funny story and everyone is like ‘Eddie, that’s not normal’ and explains that’s trauma not funny

[treasurehuntbuck]

i'm scrubbing through s4 rn and you know what? buck begins episode of all time. god little buck hurting himself over and over again. maddie standing there in the truck bay so so pregnant, with her big sad eyes. buck sitting in the er staring at her, promising her that's gonna be someone someday, he just hasn't figured it out yet. her giving him the jeep. telling him its freedom. telling him to go far away and be happy. him thinking she did the same thing when in reality she ran and ended up trapped. him asking her to come with him, offering her freedom. her giving it up to protect him like she always has. she sends him off on this journey of self discovery and he ends up at the 118. and the only reason he's able to be a safe harbor for her in s2 is because of his time with the 118. and buck spends years holding on to the idea that she abandoned him, that she didn't want him. and he finally realizes she's always wanted him. i know we joke that buck is her first kid, but wow. she shows him the postcards and its like she's proven to him that he's been wanted and loved his whole life. even when he didn't feel it.

[coderooster]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a moment sum up Buck more than him getting progressively angrier to the point where you think he’s genuinely about to throw hands, only for him to save (kind of) the guy berating him. That man could never hurt anyone intentionally, no matter how horrible they are to him.

[typicalopposite]

You know what would be HILARIOUS (and by hilarious I mean 9-1-1 style humor that is laced with disaster and always ends badly… I’ll get to that in a bit)

What if Buck starts out next season on edge… because he is just as suspicious as the audience about how his own personal life (injury and emotionally wise) has been relatively calm… hell he even got shitfaced drunk at the bachelor party and wasn’t even that hungover the next day (that was Eddie)

so he starts being extra cautious. Maybe even extra superstitious. Because SOMETHING is bound to happen… right? And then during one episode everyone is teasing him on how he’s being ridiculous… even Chimney is like come on man you’re over thinking this… and so he starts to let his guard down. Everyone is probably right. His head has just been clear for the first time in a long time… maybe ever?! That explains it. Having Tommy explains it!

Then they get a call. A bad call. A call they need air support for… and well… yeah, that explains it 👀

[eden-28]

had a dream last night where Buck realized he was in love with Eddie and woke up before Eddie found out. literal hurt/no comfort 😭😭

[buckevantommy]

ohhhh they made a blunder with the timeline: tommy tells gerrard he transferred out of the 118 5 years ago, but then later bobby references buck's arrival at the 118 being 7 years ago. hmmmm

[aventuras-de-andre]

this felt like comparing the best fix-it fanfic to canon