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skellymom · 10 months ago
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"Return to Pabu" Part 2
The Bad Batch CROSSHAIR Fan Fic
Companion piece to "Cup Of Caf"
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To read "Return to Pabu" Part 1
https://www.tumblr.com/skellymom/740375615328354305/return-to-pabu-part-1?source=share
Background: The Batch returns to Pabu with Crosshair in tow. How will he adapt? What will life look like for the other Batchers as they settle into civilian life?
The reader (main character) from Cup Of Caf is mentioned. This story is from the point of view of The Batch and Crosshair.
My OC Maadienne "Mad Momma" Dax makes an appearance as Hunter's love interest. Since this story takes place in an alternate universe from "Vagabonds", Love, Sil, and Tiggy do not make an appearance.
(I started this fic BEFORE S3, so Tech lives, Crosshair still has his hand, Pabu was never attacked...and, sorry, no Batcher.)
Word Count: 1.5K
Warning: None. Angst, sadness, fluff, some alcohol use, babies. Affection and types of romantic relationships other than Cishet.
Lovely dividers by the talented @saradika
The next morning Crosshair was gone, his bed empty. Hunter, terrified of losing Cross again, was about to track him down. Echo intervened. 
“He’ll come back. Just needs time to sort out his thoughts...alone.” 
Hunter nodded and proceeded to Omega’s room. She was gone. He had forgotten she slept over at Lyana’s house. Wrecker spent the night with Shep. 
Mad emerged from their bedroom dressed and planted a kiss on Hunter’s cheek. 
“Bye Hunky.” 
Hunter mildly panicked “Wait. Where are you going?” 
“Phee and I are spending the day doing ‘Woman Stuff’. Probably don’t remember, you seemed pretty drunk last night.” 
She stopped, looked at Echo then Hunter. “What’s the matter? Lookin’ sad there Handsome.” 
“Oh...uh...nothing.” 
“He’s sad because his squad up and left him.” 
“Now Echo...” 
“It’s strange not being totally in charge, huh? Gives you lots of time to do other things?” 
Hunter was silent, still sulking. 
Mad’s heart went out to him. “You want me to stay home with you today?” 
Hunter gave her puppy dog eyes. 
“Use your words, Hunky. What’s your head say versus you heart?” 
Hunter scowled. “Both say words are hard.” 
Echo chuckled. “Run away Mad, I’ve got him. Go have fun with Phee.” 
Mad smiled, hugged Hunter who took in her scent, and squeezed back. 
“You can’t ever leave Echo. This man needs you as an emotional interpreter.” 
She kissed Hunter then pecked Echo on the cheek before dashing out the door. “THANKS!” 
Both stood there red-faced grinning. 
“I LOVE that woman.” Hunter beamed. 
Echo clapped Hunter on the back. “C’mon, let’s go sneak Tech some caf at the Med Ward.” 
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And so, the weeks passed by with Crosshair disappearing all morning, finally returning by afternoon. No idea where he went. The Batch didn’t ask at first. Omega had theories, which she shared with her brothers, Mad and Phee.  
Then the rumors started around the island: The local potter, usually rather withdrawn, was making the rounds around the island. Purchasing food for “The Grumpy Man.” Rumors were confirmed as the skinny bald sniper started filling out. His skin and hair becoming healthy and lustrous.  
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Omega set out to start learning how to cook, roping Wrecker in as her sidekick. They packed up meals for Crosshair, insisting he share the food with his new friend. At first, he scoffed, then relented. Eventually Cross slowly started inserting himself into the evening cooking sessions in The Batcher House. 
Crosshair would imbibe in drink and eventually loosen up...for his standards. Sharing small bits and pieces of his experiences while away from the Batch. But nothing TOO deep. Cross was always content to watch the antics of his very happy family. 
Wrecker and Shep would bring in the catch of the day. Then sit and drink, sharing loving touches and sweet glances at one another. They announced their engagement and planned to wed soon. The whole island was invited to the ceremony and reception. They coordinated with Echo on refreshments and Wrecker planned the menu, wanting to cook for his own wedding reception...with Omega’s help, of course. 
Echo, in charge of refreshments, would open a bottle of Spotchka or throw together a Fuzzy Bantha or some other cocktail. Tech had built Echo a mechanical hand that could be switched out with his scomp. From that point on, Echo was the official Batcher Bartender. It wasn’t just throwing together a drink, it was a SHOW! He tossed bottles in the air, catching them, pouring with finesse, lighting the brightly colored alcohol on fire (for Wrecker especially), adding exotic ingredients that Tech helped suggest for certain palates, some of which Phee brought back from her travels.  
On the crazier nights, Echo would toss bottles and Wrecker cooking implements in unison while Mad and Phee sang and Shep hammered percussion on the wooden table with his large hands. Hunter would get up from the table to dance, dragging Crosshair with him. The competition was fierce as both men had an intense “Dance Off” to one up each other.   
Tech was learning the fine art of highbrow humor, especially after one (or several) of Echo’s cocktails. He and Phee would have constant banter at the table. They were hysterically funny when Tech reached the confused slurry speech stage. Phee enjoyed playfully teasing him while he rambled on, index finger raised...then trailing off as he had lost his train of thought. She’d gently slip her hand into his raised one and caress it. Tech would blush red(der) and smile. 
Hunter and Mad sat leaning against each other, shoulder to thigh. Basking in love, occasionally whispering something into each other’s ear. Things that brought their own blush and smile. They shared a secret...eventually requesting Echo make her drinks sans alcohol. Hunter instructed Echo to add Mad’s to his drink, making it a double. By the end of the night Tech and Hunter would carry on a drunken conversation that NOBODY understood except the two of them. Everyone would get hugs though. Even Tech would embrace the guests before everyone left...as Phee eventually escorted him to the sofa. Hunter never made it that far, choosing the comfort of the floor. Wrecker tucked Lula under his head, before leaving to spend the night at Shep’s place. 
Echo would help Mad and Phee clean up, then hug Omega goodnight. He would awaken early like clockwork the next morning, brewing caf in the kitchen. Echo and Crosshair would nod to each other, as Echo slid the packaged food across the kitchen island to him. Then smile as Cross quietly left the house. Afterwards Echo nudged Tech and Hunter awake to start the day. 
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Dinner came and went. The Batchers kept their drinking to a minimum tonight. Everyone just wanted a quiet evening. Hunter and Tech wanted to sleep in an actual bed again. Mad and Phee WANTED THEM to sleep in an actual bed again. 
Besides, Hunter and Mad had an announcement to make: Mad was expecting. While everyone was beyond happy and joyful, it was no surprise. A definite event to celebrate. Wrecker brought a cake to the table and Hunter handed Mad his vibroknife to cut it.  
“Uh...we don’t have something maybe...CLEANER to use?” 
“Made sure to wipe it down properly.” 
“Let me guess...this has some kind of significance, yeah?” Mad cocked an eye at Hunter. 
“Well, I WILL be using this knife...MY knife to cut our child’s umbilical cord.” 
“WHAT???” Mad frantically searching Hunters stone cold expression for any trace of total BS. 
“I’ll wipe the blade down properly beforehand. Especially if it’s a C-section.” 
“HUNTER, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMNED MIND???” 
Hunter’s face was dead serious...until everyone at the table burst out laughing. Then he winked at Mad. 
"Kriff! Thought the booze pickled your brain!!!” 
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Hunter gently took the knife from Mad, flipped it back and forth expertly one handed and slid it back into its sheath. Suddenly, he knelt down beside her on one knee. The laughter in the room died down to total silence. Mad could see from everyone’s face this was spontaneous and unexpected. 
“Mad” Hunter took both of her hands in his.  
He cleared his throat. Hunter’s expression was mixed: Intensely passionate but nervous. He was out of his element and not used to doing this sort of thing in front of others. 
“Ah...As you know, I’m not the kind of guy whose all about grand public gestures...but I was struck in the moment to tell you...in front of the most important group of people in my life to the most important individual who is carrying my child...that I LOVE YOU intensely with my VERY BEING.”  
Mad slightly cocked her head and gave him her veiled sassy “No duh, Hunky” expression. Hunter almost broke out in nervous laughter but caught himself. Clearing his throat again, he leaned in slightly. Mad got serious and mirrored this gesture. They were close enough to intensely look into each other's eyes and focus on one another. The rest of the room seemed to fall away into the distant background and disappear. Just two people declaring to each other their deepest desires. 
Hunter continued. “I know we didn’t plan for this to happen.” He lovingly stroked her belly. Mad squeezed his hand. “I also know we didn’t plan to be formally married...and I don’t expect that. Heck...” He looked slightly embarrassed letting it all hang out. “I don’t have a ring...or technically own ANYTHING...I’m...poor. But I have a life to give and I want to give it to you. I’ll be the most devoted father to this baby and the most devoted partner to you.”  
“I know the Nomaadi don’t stay in one place too long. And...if you’ll have me...If you want me...I’ll go anywhere and everywhere you want to go. I want both of us to be together for whatever amount of time we have left in this life.” 
Silence. 
Then Mad spoke. “Hunter...” Her voice caught a hitch and she inhaled sharply. She was touched deeply by this gesture of vulnerability and commitment. The baby, barely formed yet, fluttered sharply inside her belly...the first time she ever felt its presence. Everything seemed so REAL suddenly, not just the concept of being pregnant... 
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PLEASE like, comment, and/or REBLOG!
To read RETURN TO PABU Chapter 3:
https://www.tumblr.com/skellymom/756137825067515904/return-to-pabu-part-3?source=share
IF YOU WISH TO BE ADDED OR DROPPED FROM MY TAG LIST, PLEASE MESSAGE ME! Don't just comment as I might miss it. Thanks!!! <3
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flickerngflower · 16 days ago
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Hello Kitty Alluka ❣️🐱🩹
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masterchef901 · 4 months ago
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I've had a long and stressful day at work so if any pattern-seeking bloggers out there are somehow interested in a diagram detailing the common qualities among the fixations of this pattern-seeking blogger I have spent the last hour compiling them into a helpful-if-horrifying mangled venn diagram:
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If anyone is able to identify an instance of Soft Deranged Failurehood that importantly lacks any Bosshood, please know that Science eagerly awaits your contribution.
CONCLUSIONS:
People who say 4-way Venn diagrams don't work are cowards.
Cats are complete beings. Humanity introduces only impurities.
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mari-lair · 4 months ago
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How does gon having even less self worth change his personality from canon? We have already seen how, erm,volatile he can get when the ones he loves are hurt, and part of me is scared for our boy about all the different ways he could hurt himself both physically and emotionally, especially now that he's more powerful and knowledgeable about nen then he was in canon.
It's not a super drastic change, at least on the volatile/reckless aspect, cause Gon was highly discouraged from making Nen vows when he learned about them, and he was raised in a world where Breath of Archangel exists (He would never use Breath of Archangel on himself, the cards number and transformation limit are too small, but he knows that if a loved one gets too hurt, he can 'save' them.)
His stubborn "I need to earn my victories in a way that makes me and my giant standards for myself satisfied or I'll feel weak and useless." and "I can die but you can't!" mentality is mostly the same, despite him being even more of a monster. While Gon's attraction towards powerful opponents started earlier in this AU, his pride is lower (he may be in Ging's shadow on both islands, but he was easily the strongest person in Whale Island, no competition. By comparison, he isn't a big fish in Greed Island), and people he looks up to saying he needs to be strong/ looking at him as a powerhouse more than a kid, is not a greed island au exclusive. He is also arguably more competitive than Whale Island Gon, so the approach may vary but overall his fighting vibe is the same "impulsive but smart in battle that use fights to prove or punish himself"
What does change a lot is Gon's way of approaching people: Whale Island Gon was always loved by people, GI Gon was loved by mostly NPCs built to love him, and he lives in a game he enjoys but that people see as a ruthless competition at best and a nightmare at worse, there is a bigger disconnect than he had in whale island, so he is insecure about how enjoyable/valuable his presence is. When he interacts with real people he wants to show that he is useful and tries to be as helpful as he can (with tasks, with game information, even with nen tips) without expecting others to help him back. He wants to gush about the game but he also wants to earn their time in a way. There is a reason a considerable amount of people confused him for a very charming NPC at first.
Another difference is that he is curious about how players feel about him, so he can bluntly ask if someone likes spending time with him or if he is giving too much info too fast, etc. He is more self-conscious and insecure with strangers. He doesn't assume a player will stick around even if he likes them, so he can spend a lot of time alone. Unless he gets a goal that fires him up or starts a conversation on a topic he is passionate about he will unconsciously prioritize the person he accompanies (in small ways, like "Where do you want to eat?" instead of "Where should we eat?" and such). The more he likes someone the more selfish and stubborn he is with them.
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dreamyeuphoricll · 1 year ago
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Top 9 anime studios 😍❤️
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❤️ To the animators :
As a dedicated anime fan, I want to take a moment to express my sincere gratitude for all the work and efforts you have put into creating the amazing anime that we all love and enjoy. Your creativity, passion, and dedication to your craft are truly inspiring, and your work has brought joy and happiness to millions of people around the world.
Thank you for sharing your incredible talent and creativity with us, and for bringing to life some of the most exciting and emotional stories that we have ever seen.
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sheridan-le-fanu · 3 months ago
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I think that people who ship Kurokura probably read Omegaverse yaoi, while people who ship Leopika are probably lesbians without gfs.
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livethrushit · 13 days ago
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togashi & i riding the same wavelength three years apart
top: my abstract drawing of a lady in agony, 2020
bottom: chrollo in chapter 406
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lokiusly · 1 year ago
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remember when B-15 walked in on the s1e1 interrogation with Loki and Mobius?
She asked “What are you doing?” in a tone that felt like,*why are you flirting while everyone’s looking for the variant?*
And his sassy response was “is it your job to interrupt?” as if saying, *really? You couldn’t let me have this, ONE time?* AND he literally winked and said to Loki, “sit tight— it was just getting good!”
And even LATER when Loki escaped, Mobius was petty and pointed out, “This never would’ve happened if you hadn’t interrupted us!” aka *if you had only let them kiss me, we wouldn’t be in this mess!*
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xuanelle · 3 months ago
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komugi, are you still there?
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techhasmjolnir · 5 months ago
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Fill in the Blank
The Bad Batch (all members) x GN! Reader
Plot: It's not too long after you and the boys rescue Omega from Kamino, and you're trying to lie low until the heat on all of you dies down. The forest moon of Endor is your current hideaway, and you're trying to kill time one night by playing a simple game...
Author's Notes:
I apologize in advance for this, because it's exceptionally stupid, and I absolutely love it. I came up with this after having a conversation about what kinds of games the Batch might enjoy, and I casually mentioned it would be hysterical to play the classic silly party game, Mad Libs, with them. There's not much action in this story as it's heavy on dialogue, so if that's not really your thing, you might want to skip this one. If you want complete brain rot, then this is for you.
Important Notes: This can be considered a (mostly) SFW story. The NSFW content could technically constitute profanity, sexually suggestive terms, and straight up gross descriptions...you know, the way Mad Libs is supposed to be played! There's also an admixture of words from the SW universe along with common words we use on Earth. Just getting that out there before someone has to leave a comment of, “that doesn't exist in Star Wars...” Shhhh. This is my story. Be quiet.
Nobody was exactly thrilled with Tech's suggestion to seek refuge on the forest moon of Endor, but after liberating Omega from Kamino, you were left with few options for sanctuary. With credits low and rations even lower, Hunter relented, and now you've been in seclusion for nearly a galactic week while waiting to hear from a fixer you knew on Ord Mantell. Having Omega with you complicated everything, and it was a rude awakening trying to adjust to her boundless energy, enthusiasm, and curiosity. You and the guys tried to keep her occupied, but it became a struggle very quickly.
You planted the suggestion of having a bonfire one night to break the monotony of always piling back into the Marauder at nightfall, in addition to providing some type of enrichment for Omega. Omega was especially excited because she had never experienced one before, and Wrecker offered immediately to go look for kindling – with Omega in tow. You hoped this would be relaxing for everyone and at least for awhile, help take their minds off the gravity of the situation. It didn't take long for them to locate an assortment of downed branches and a few dry logs, and in minutes, Wrecker had the fire going.
“Don't get too close, 'Meg,” Wrecker cautioned. “It's real easy to burn yourself, and then you'll look like me!”
“Wrecker, don't tease her like that,” Echo chided as he slid down to the ground and leaned against a decaying tree stump. “More like, don't frighten her.”
“I'm not scared!” Omega interjected as she went to sit beside Hunter, stretching out her arms and legs, basking in the radiant heat. “I'll stay right here by Hunter, where it's safe.”
“It is safe everywhere as long as you stay close to us, Omega. For now, please try and relax,” Tech called as he emerged from theMarauder with datapad in hand, tapping on it as he sat down next to you, Crosshair on your other side.
“I see you didn't bring the spotchka with you, Tech,” you said with amusement as you nudged his shoulder. “Yes, I know all about the stash you guys have onboard. It's an unspoken rule that having a campfire means you're supposed to do at least a little imbibing. Maybe tell a few stories, dare people to do stupid things... You know, unwind and have fun.”
“Might I ask how you knew about –”
“It doesn't matter, Tech. I'll go get it. After the events of the past week, I think we could all use a drink,” Crosshair interrupted as he stood up and disappeared into the ship, and returned with not one, but several bottles cradled in his arms, and a small stack of cups balanced carefully in one hand.
Hunter glared at him disapprovingly, then looked down at Omega's small form nestled against him as if to say, “Really? In front of the kid?”
“What? One's for me and you can split the rest,” Crosshair said as he tossed a bottle to Wrecker and set the other down by you and Tech, then returned to his spot, not bothering to use a cup in favor of taking a long swig straight from the bottle.
“Well, I would say 'cheers,' but since there's not much to cheer about, how about “here's to surviving another day,” you said a little more solemnly than you intended as you raised your cup, the the rest of them following suit.
Silence reigned uncomfortably for awhile as you all started to loosen up, all the anxiety and tension leaching out with each mouthful of spotchka. You caught yourself staring across the fire at Hunter and Omega, his arm curled around her protectively. Shadows danced across her tiny face as she grew mesmerized by the way the flames licked at the firewood, and memories of you as a child sitting around fires with your friends flooded your mind. Then it dawned on you that there was a game you always used to play with them on nights like these that never failed to leave all of you exhausted from laughing.
“All right, this feels too much like a funeral, boys. This is not what having a fire is supposed to be like,” you said as you put down your cup. “I have something that should significantly lighten the mood.” You got up and everyone turned to watch you dash off to the ship, wondering what you were up to. When you returned, you held a few small books, a pen, and some water for Omega.
“Ta-da! I just remembered I had these. I keep them on hand for cheap entertainment during those long, boring hyperspace trips, when browsing the HoloNet won't suffice.”
“Hm? What do you have there?” Tech asked, adjusting his goggles as he tried to read the title of the topmost book.
“This,” you said triumphantly, “is only the greatest party game to ever exist. It's a classic on my homeworld, and I think you all might really like it. It's a word game—”
Wrecker groaned, then downed the rest of his spotchka. “A word game? That doesn't sound fun at all.”
“You didn't let me finish! This is a game for people who don't like games,” you said, purposely turning to look at Crosshair, who shrugged at you. You looked over at Wrecker and continued, “One person picks a story that has certain words omitted, and they don't tell the players what it's about. Instead, the players are asked to provide words to fill in the blank spaces in the story. When the story is finished, it's read back to the players and then they discover just how hilarious, shocking, gross, or just plain stupid their creation is. Sound like something you'd be interested in?”
“Well...when you put it like that...it doesn't sound so bad,” Wrecker replied as he poured himself another round. “Tech, you would be good at this.”
“Oh...there's just a few things you need to know before we do this,” you added. “I kind of made up my own rules with how to play, and I make it mandatory that you are to make your ideas as weird, vulgar, or...suggestive as possible. It's sort of tradition at this point.”
“Which means it's bedtime, Omega,” Hunter said. “This doesn't sound like this would be an appropriate game for you.”
“No, Hunter, please let me stay! I don't want to go to bed!” Omega protested as she stood up and brushed off her tunic, looking down at Hunter with the best pout she could muster.
“Let the kid stay, Hunter. She's been coddled enough,” Crosshair rasped after taking another long pull of spotchka. “Besides, she might come up with something better than any of us.”
“All right, fine. But if things get too out of hand, you're going to bed, Omega, and that's it,” Hunter sighed.
“That is such a dad response,” you snickered, not aware of the glare Hunter shot back at you. “All right, we're getting distracted, here. Are you guys in or out?” You started flipping through one of the books to find something that would be an easy introduction.
“I think we're in... Omega looks like she's about to launch out of excitement,” Echo chuckled.
“Good, because I've picked one out that's quite relevant. Do I need to go over the parts of speech, or is everyone set? Honestly, I think I might be more excited than Omega,” you laughed. “It's been a long time since I last played this. One thing before we begin – I don't usually ask each person individually for a word. You can all say whatever comes to mind, and I'll use the one I like best. Oh, Tech...before I forget...”
Tech turned to you with a quizzical expression on his face. “Forget what? It appears you have everything you will need, at least for the moment.”
“Remember what I said about making the stories as messed up as possible? That means I'm putting you on notice that you are going to have to offer up ideas that are completely tasteless.”
Crosshair spluttered and coughed violently, nearly choking on his spotchka. When he recovered, he started laughing so hard, you thought he was going to mess himself. “Tech speaking like a reg?! I'll believe it when I hear it! We heard him swear ONCE back when we were cadets, and we never heard him do it again.”
“I told those other cadets not to touch that droid, if you recall. It was their own fault what happened to them,” Tech replied huffily. He sighed and then looked at you. “Do I have to?” he asked, not sounding thrilled. “I do not prefer using crass language if at all possible.”
“Yes, you have to. Otherwise we are all going to goad you mercilessly all night until you do. Be a good sport, Tech. I promise it won't tarnish your reputation or insult your intelligence if you let slip a little vulgarity, okay?”
“Come on, Tech, play along and live a little,” Wrecker said as he gulped down the last of his drink, belching pleasurably and grinning at Omega, who was giggling helplessly.
“Okay, here we go. If anyone needs me to explain what a certain part of speech is, just stop me. For the first prompt, I need a plural noun.”
“Are you referring to common or proper nouns?” Tech asked. “We will require clarity before providing adequate responses.”
“Common noun, Tech. Proper nouns will be described specifically, like “a city,” or “name of person.” Stuff like that. So, guys...and Omega. What do you have? Don't be afraid to just say whatever comes to mind. That's the whole point of this game.”
It was silent for a moment until Crosshair chimed in a little too gleefully with, “street whores!”
Echo spit out his mouthful of spotchka and started coughing, while the others turned to look over at Crosshair, who had a complete shit-eating grin on his face. You, however, started laughing silently, already noting the story was destroyed with just one entry completed. Omega started giggling again and you couldn't tell if she was doing it because of Echo, or because of what Crosshair said. Your suspicions were confirmed when she leaned in and asked, “Hunter, what's a street whore?”
“I'll...tell you when you're older, kid,” he replied as he kneaded his temples, knowing by the end of the night he was going to have a massive headache, and not from the spotchka.
“Street whores, it is!” you confirmed, this time audibly laughing as you wrote it down. “For the next one, I need an adjective.” Wrecker and Omega looked at you blankly, and you added, “adjectives describe something or someone. For instance, “quiet.” As in, “Tech is being quiet.”
“Horny!” Crosshair blurted out, and this time the rest of the guys started laughing, because they finally caught on to how they were supposed to play.
“Crosshair, you're pretty good at this. Are you sure you haven't played this before?” you chuckled.
“No, but I understand the assignment better than the others, evidently. Come on, what's the next one?”
“Another plural noun. Omega, why don't you give it a shot? Don't let Crosshair have all the fun,” you encouraged.
She tapped her bottom lip and looked up at Hunter, who shook his head. You all waited patiently for her, and you saw her perk up before cheerfully offering, “pleasure droids!”
Hunter looked down wide-eyed at Omega, who was supremely proud of herself for coming up with an answer, even if she had no idea what it was she just said. He buried his face in his hands, shaking his head lightly, a muffled “what have I done” the only thing he could say.
“Pleasure...droids...” you repeated slowly, scribbling it down and inwardly laughing. “This might seem repetitive, but the next two entries are both adjectives. Are the rest of you going to play, or are Crosshair and Omega going to dominate this story?”
“Uhhhh...salacious?” Echo said with a hint of uncertainty. He looked over at Wrecker, who was deep in thought, scratching at his bald head idly.
“I have one, but...I don't know if I should say it,” Wrecker said sheepishly.
“Out with it, Wrecker. We don't have all night,” Crosshair grumbled as he peered down the neck of the bottle of spotchka, already half drained.
“Is “erotic” okay?”
You started snickering and jotted it down, trying to ignore the jeering laughter of the others over Wrecker's hesitance and inexperience. “Guys, shut the hell up, will you? At least he's trying, and for what it's worth, it works really well in the story. Now for something different, I need a regular old noun. Tech, why don't you give me something this time? You're too quiet and it's bugging me.”
“Why my silence is disconcerting to you, I do not know. I simply do not feel the need to—”
“Tech...” you warned.
He turned to look at you and it was always so evident he was plotting something because his eyes always narrowed in determination with a hint of mischievousness behind them – like right then. “While I will not indulge you with vulgarity at this moment, I will give you something that will likely surprise you, given that it is coming from me. My answer?” You watched as he cocked an eyebrow and smirked at you. “Anal probe.”
You blinked uncomprehendingly for a few moments, then came back with, “I'm sorry, but did you just say 'anal probe?'”
Everyone erupted into laughter and Tech nodded, a wry little smile on his face. “I think you will find this will be a satisfactory addition to the story, if my assumptions are correct. Please continue, for I am now most eager to hear the outcome.”
You couldn't think of a smart-ass retort as you wrote down his answer, now knowing you should never underestimate Tech's deviance ever again. Waiting to speak until everyone got themselves under control, you scanned the page and realized you're barely halfway through it and this story is fucked up. “Alright, guys, let's focus. The next one says 'person in room (last name),' but I'm the only one with a last name here, and we're not using it. So technically, I'll need the last names of two people for the next two entries.”
“This one's easy,” all eyes on Hunter as he finally spoke up. “Skywalker, and Kenobi.”
“Not bad! Not bad at all, although I wouldn't have been surprised if you had said Skywalker, and Amidala. Speaking of, didn't you guys use to have her as—”
“Uh, we don't like to bring that up. In fact, never mention this again,” Hunter cut you off, waving his hand in the universal sign of “zip it” while looking at Omega.
“Duly noted,” you replied as you penned in the next two entries. “Next up is a place, followed by another last name of a person.”
“79's!”
“Hoth!”
“The 'fresher?”
“Mos Eisley!”
“All right, everyone, enough! Omega, loved your idea about the 'fresher, but I think we're gonna go with Echo on this one, with Mos Eisley. What about the last name? You're on a roll now, so keep it going!”
A bunch of names were thrown out there, from Dooku to Chuchi, Windu to Palpatine. All of a sudden Crosshair piped up with, “Dickhead.” All chatter stopped and everyone looked over at him. “You heard me. That was what the other cadets and I always called that old sniping instructor we had. Couldn't stand that sack of sh—”
“Crosshair, enough,” Hunter said. “We'll be lucky if Omega doesn't pick up that particular habit.”
You cleared your throat loudly to get their attention, trying your hardest not to laugh. “Excellent choice, Crosshair. That fits...uh, perfectly?” You covered your face as you lost it, shaking in silent mirth, only stopping once Tech put his hand on your shoulder to see if you were all right. Wiping away tears, you gave them their next prompts. “Make these two REALLY good, okay? I need a part of the body, and a type of liquid.”
The amount of raucous laughter among the boys meant only one thing, and that it was obvious they were going to give you the most childish answers possible. When no one spoke up, you looked around and were met with sly grins. “Well? I'm waiting... I mean, if you're going the route I think you are, then I'll just write both words down right now and we'll move on,” you said, tapping your pen on the page. “All right, 'cock' it is for the body part, and cu—”
Hunter coughed loudly and you looked over to see him with his hands covering Omega's ears, although it didn't stop the girl from giggling while squirming and grabbing at Hunter's hands, trying to pry them off.
From an unlikely source came the response to your question. “Bantha piss!” Echo called out as he started laughing again, hiding his face in his hands.
“Hey, not bad, Echo! I like it! Random question – and I ask because I feel like there's probably a backstory here – but what gave you that idea?”
Crosshair sat up straight as an arrow, looking over at Echo and throwing invisible daggers at him. “Don't do it, Echo, I mean it. We agreed no one had to find out about that.”
Echo didn't have a chance to reply because Wrecker spoke up and spilled the beans. “What? You mean when we had that mission on Tatooine and you got too close to one, and then it let loose all over you? That was disgusting. You smelled for days after that!”
“Yes, thank you for reminding everyone,” Crosshair growled, returning to the bottle for a quick gulp. “Remind me to kill you later, Wrecker.”
“Children, please behave,” you teased as you turned to look at Crosshair, who was still beet red from embarrassment with a look of “if YOU fucking tell anyone else about this, I will end you” all over his face. “We're close to being done, so for the next few, I need an article of clothing, pluralized. I also need an example of a relative. As in, familial relations.” You looked over at Tech, answering the question before he could ask it.
To your surprise, Hunter provided the next piece, although he made sure he was still covering Omega's ears before he spoke. “G-strings,” he said, a crooked grin spreading over his rugged features. His hands let go of Omega and it took a moment before everyone burst out laughing again, with the poor kid looking very confused as to what was so funny.
“Okay, I'm just going to throw this out there,” you replied as you jotted down Hunter's answer. “Next chance we get, we need to find a babysitter for Omega and then get to the nearest strip joint, because you guys are dropping a LOT of hints...”
Omega tugged on Hunter's sleeve, and he dreaded what she was going to ask. “Hunter, what's a strip joint? And why couldn't I go with you?”
Hunter groaned and rolled his eyes as he reached for his cup and took a long sip. “That's another “I'll tell you when you're older” thing, Omega. “It's not something for kids.”
“Oi, what are we supposed to pick for a relative? We don't really have relatives since we're clones,” Wrecker asked, trying to get everyone on task again.
“Irrelevant, Wrecker. Just because we do not have relatives, so to speak, does not mean you cannot choose from the list of common terms for a family's hierarchy,” Tech offered. “Although...given the way this story appears to be trending, it could be quite amusing to supply a word that is not entirely accurate. Would this be acceptable?”
“Fine by me. Just give me something so we can put this baby to bed. The anticipation's starting to kill me,” you replied.
“In that case, I would like to assist. Would 'sperm donor' suffice?”
You looked over at him, your eyebrow raised in momentary confusion. “Tech, what the hell?! Did you just...?”
He chuckled and nodded only once, shooting you a knowing wink as he brought his cup to his mouth, taking a delicate sip.
“All right, I see what you did there. Quite ingenious, might I add. However, we don't need...or want any more details,” you added, waving your open hand flippantly, cutting Tech off before he had a chance to offer up any justification. “Okay, just three more, and we're finally done. By the Maker, I feel like I'm going to have crippling anxiety after all this.”
“Give it six months,” Crosshair snickered. “You haven't been with us long enough to have developed it so soon. Now, what's left? I'm low on patience...and spotchka, it appears,” he said as he swirled the near-empty bottle around.
“Uhhh, let's see. I need a piece of furniture, a verb ending in “ing,” and one last adjective.”
Thankfully, you didn't need to wait because the responses started flying.
“Couch!” “Wrecker, that's stupid. What about “inflatable bed?”
“That's not any better, Echo. Now what's stupid?!”
“TOILET!” Omega shouted as she tried to make herself heard in the growing din.
“A toilet's not a piece of furniture, kid. Where did you come up with that?” Hunter laughed incredulously.
“I have got it!” Tech exclaimed, everyone immediately shutting up, all eyes trained on him as he looked around, that devious smile of his returning. He turned to you and you knew this was going to be good. By good, you knew it would be hysterical, considering the source. “Queening chair,” he proclaimed with a smirk.
Crosshair's jaw dropped so low it was almost on the ground. This time, you had no idea what Tech was talking about, and at the moment, you really didn't want an explanation, either. “A what, Tech? Judging by that look you're giving me, it's something indecent, isn't it?”
“Extremely. You should go ask the queen of Naboo about hers,” Crosshair muttered once he collected himself.
“That rumor is entirely unfounded, Crosshair,” Tech shot back, rolling his eyes. “Unless there's something you're not telling us?”
“Not now, you two. I think we've wasted more time talking and arguing than actually trying to play this game,” Hunter shot back. He looked down at Omega, searching for any sign she was tired and needed to go to bed. Much to his chagrin, she was more wide awake than ever. “You wanna do the next one, kid? You know what a verb is, right? It's an action word, like 'run' or 'jump.' But for this one, make sure you add 'ing' at the end,” he instructed, making sure to pronounce the syllable for her instead of spelling it out.
She nodded and carefully processed that information, everyone opting to stay quiet to let her think. What came out of her next would go on to become a treasured recording in Tech's archives and the subject of nostalgic stories for years to come.
“Fucking!” she declared happily, once more completely oblivious as to what she'd just said.
For a moment you thought the guys were going to pass out, especially Hunter, whose expression was somewhere between shock and severe indigestion. “Where...where did...who taught you that?!” he said hoarsely, grabbing his cup and swallowing the last of its contents before reaching for the bottle to slop more into it.
“Crosshair did! He says it all the time,” Omega replied. “Hunter? Are you okay? You look kind of...sick.”
Hunter sighed and rubbed his eyes, his look of shock replaced with quiet resignation, followed by a menacing glare in Crosshair's direction. “Why am I not surprised? Crosshair, you know kids are like sponges! What the f—”
That's all it took to break the sniper as he dissolved into uncontrollable laughter, all of you following suit thereafter. This time, no one was able to recompose themselves. Wrecker clapped Hunter forcefully on the back, almost propelling him into the fire as tears of merriment streamed down his face. Echo was laid out flat on his back, hands over his face as he shook silently. You looked through blurry eyes over at Crosshair, who had sunk down to the ground clutching his ribs as he gasped for breath, the sight of which made you laugh even harder. Tech was doubled over, one hand on your shoulder to steady himself as another paroxysm of laughter overtook him. Omega's high-pitched shrieks of glee were by far the best thing you heard tonight, her joy and spirit exceptionally infectious.
Minutes passed before you all eventually calmed down and you were about to put pen to paper when you realized what the context of the story would be if you put in Omega's idea as is...and it was beyond inappropriate in a really bad way. Time for an immediate course correction.
“Oh, uhh...oh boy,” you said hesitantly. “Um...I normally don't do this, but I have to add another word to this so it doesn't turn into something completely morally reprehensible.”
Tech stopped cleaning his goggles, which he had taken off to wipe at his eyes. “I do not understand. What could be so—”
“Trust me, you don't want to know. You'll figure it out when I read this back.” You jotted something down and then reached down for the bottle of spotchka to drink deeply, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “Captain Adverb to the rescue, thank the Maker. This is it, guys...one last word. All I need is an adjective. You got this?”
“Bring it on!” Wrecker said boisterously, waving the spotchka bottle around, nearly clipping Hunter in the back of the head with it.
Since Omega opened the door for it, no one bothered watching their language now as they threw out all sorts of outlandish ideas, none of them quite what you felt were funny enough to close out the story. Tech had gone quiet again, and you knew he had something up his sleeve. You looked over at him and that evil little grin was back.
“You advised me earlier that I needed to provide some kind of suggestive or vulgar response, correct?”
“Out with it, Tech. I know you've got something good cooking upstairs.”
“I thought that was obvious. I deduced that answers with...creative...terms involving body parts seem to be the most entertaining for all of you. Therefore, I would like to offer my response.”
“Tech, just say it! Why do you have to be so difficult?!” Crosshair griped as he quaffed the last of his spotchka.
Tech rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, solidly ignoring Crosshair's jab. “For your consideration, I would like to give you an adjective that is most...” He paused, trying to be dramatic in his own way as he looked around, seeing everyone waiting on him. “...Rectally stimulating.”
You looked down at the story for a moment, and realizing what that did to the context of it made you drop your pen on the ground. Immediately, both hands came to your face as you broke into helpless, muffled laughter.
“Tech, you'd better not have ruined the story,” Wrecker said accusingly.
You pulled your hands away from your face and sniffled as you rubbed your eyes and shook your head. “He didn't ruin anything, Wrecker. In fact, he provided the absolute perfect finish. Now, hold onto something, because— Wrecker, you can let go of Hunter...that was a figure of speech. Anyway, may I present to you a most entertaining narrative, called 'CAMPFIRE STORIES.'”
“Are you serious? That's a little on the nose, don't you think?” Crosshair groaned.
“Of course I chose this one on purpose! Now, check this out.” You made a production out of loudly clearing your throat, taking a deep breath and exhaling forcefully.
“It is always fun to chop up some street whores and use them to build a horny campfire. Then you get all of the pleasure droids to sit around the fire and tell scary stories. You can tell about Ichabod Crane, the salacious schoolteacher of Sleepy Hollow and his erotic adventures with the headless anal probe. Or you can tell “The Fall of the House of Skywalker,” which was written by Edgar Allen Kenobi. Or you can tell about vampires from Mos Eisley, like the terrible Count Dickhead, who bit people on the cock and drank their bantha piss. By this time, many of the young campers will start shaking in their G-strings and begin yelling for their sperm donor and go hide under the queening chair. Believe me, when it comes to fucking up a bunch of kids, there's nothing like a real rectally stimulating ghost story.”
*****
As you expected, the aftermath of reading that story was nothing short of utter chaos. Crosshair ended up laughing so hard, he disappeared somewhere into the darkness to vomit as quietly as he could before stumbling back to the ship. The others excused themselves quickly, still laughing as they almost tripped over each other in their haste as they made a mad dash back to the Marauder, leaving you and Omega behind wondering what just happened.
After everyone cleared out, you started hearing noises back in the forest that almost sounded like chittering laughter. Omega heard it too, and came to sit by you, pressing herself into your side as you wrapped your arm around her. A chill ran down your spine when you were sure you heard something rustling back in the undergrowth, and you didn't even have so much as your vibroblade with you for protection.
“Guys...please hurry! I think there's something out here!” you purposely yelled, hoping if there was some kind of animal lurking around, you would scare it away.
“I don't like this,” Omega whispered, nudging herself up so close to you, it felt like she was trying to crawl under your skin. “When are my brothers coming back?”
You did your best to try and keep her calm, squeezing her tightly. “I don't know, sweetheart, but stay calm. It'll be okay. Hunter should be back any moment now.”
As if on cue, the guys came filing back in with Hunter in the lead, his blaster drawn. “I heard you yelling. Did you see anything? Are you all right?”
“We're fine, but we definitely heard something that sounded like laughing, and like something walking around dangerously close to the camp site. Scared the shit of out of Omega and me. What took you guys so long?”
Then you noticed that Hunter wasn't wearing his blacks – he was wearing his sleep clothing, and as Wrecker and the others stepped closer to the fire, you could see the same thing, in varying configurations. No one was wearing what they previously had on, and then it dawned on you what happened. This would be a memory forever burned into your mind: the night when a ridiculous story made five grown men soil themselves from laughing.
You decided to spare them the embarrassment of asking why they changed clothes, and as Tech retook his spot next to you, he leaned close and whispered, “thank you for not asking the obvious...that would be a source of embarrassment that we would not want to try to explain to Omega.”
“I'll take this to the grave with me, Tech. Not a word.” You picked up one of the books and held it aloft, shaking it lightly. “Now...do I dare ask if you guys want to do another one? Someone else can write this time, because I want to play and show you how an old pro does this.”
Omega finally loosened her death grip on you and got up, going to Wrecker who gently picked her up, letting her settle in his arms as Tech reached over and took one of the books and your pen. “I would like to pick one, if it is quite all right.” He flipped through the pages and stopped as he found a blank story. “Yes...this will do nicely. Everyone, your first entry must be a plural noun.”
You stretched out your arms and cracked your knuckles, chuckling softly. “Two words, boys. Edible thongs.”
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eldoodlez · 1 year ago
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HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈
I was supposed to post this on the 1st but it slipped my mind. Anyway here’s a bunch of canon trans characters!!! :D
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bowsers-keep · 4 days ago
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Zora Salazar Epithet Erased is the Sundown Kid x Mad Dog from Live a Live lovechild prove me wrong. Putting these two together in a create sim to smash their genetics together
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Equals her.
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Change. My. Mind.
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autisticlio · 9 months ago
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Think its funny when Meruem was revealed to have his Nen type be Emission, there were a few dude bros who were mad he wasn't a specialist. Meanwhile Alluka got confirmed to be one.
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katoarika · 1 year ago
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You deny killugon? Just say you're a homophobe
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hugmekenobi · 3 days ago
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After finishing writing quite an emotionally intense fic, there’s something so wonderful about coming back to writing my reader and Hunter with the rest of the gang! Everything feels so happy and fun!
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sev-on-kamino · 1 year ago
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Oh my gosh!!! Congrats on the follower milestone!! It's so amazing to see your blog grow and you deserve so many more followers 💕
I think I'm gonna go with 🧐 but I'm gonna be super boring because you mentioned it in your example and now I have to know!! how did Hunter figured out that the reader's attracted to them in “Absence//Fonder” 👀👀👀
Thank you so much, Deeja!!! You continue to be a major and amazing part of my time here, and you inspire me so much! Also coming up with all kinds of wild adventures for Rex’s scalpel jockey and the 501st is *chef’s kiss*, grade A+++++, good soup, 5 stars, ask for seconds 🤩
So there were several different incidents where Hunter noticed something was definitely up. Here are 2 of those times because I don’t have an ounce of self-control:
Warnings: incredibly suggestive, thoughts about marking, thoughts about fingering, Hunter’s senses doing what they do when your body does what it does 👀, if I missed something lemme know.
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The time when your datapad landed you in a cold shower:
After dinner, you, Hunter and Tech had decided to relax in the barracks instead of joining the others in the range. You sat cross legged on the table, as you so often did when Crosshair wasn’t there to stop you, while you fiddled with your holopad. You’d been trying to download a game before dinner, and it still wasn’t finished. You stopped the download, restarted, and ran through the whole process again only for it to stick in the same place.
Releasing a noise of irritation, you ran through the process again, your face scrunched in frustration. You were about to give up and fill out a requisition form for a replacement when Tech came up behind you.
“You are making an uncharacteristic amount of upset noises. What appears to be the trouble?” He asked.
“This blasted thing won’t complete my download, and it keeps giving me an error message.”
He peered over your shoulder, his chest pressed gently to your back.
“Oh, that’s an easy fix,” he said, as he reached around you. His face just barely brushed yours, and you could feel the slight twitches in his muscles, as he began tapping away on the screen.
Hunter looked up from a twirling his vibroblade to watch the pair of you. Once again, your heart was dancing in your chest, and the scent of your body wanting, needing to be touched was driving him insane.
This wasn’t even a new level of intimacy. None of them really maintained physical boundaries with you anymore, save Crosshair, and even he wasn’t as stringent about it as he used to be. The Marauder wasn’t very big, and you’d stopped being precious about space, privacy, and nudity pretty quickly.
The knife continued to move through his fingers. Twirling up, as he watched you swallow. Spinning down while you worried your bottom lip between your teeth.
Forward in time to your fingers tapping along the back of the device clutched in your hands. Backwards, as you shifted your hips. Hunter knew without a doubt that if he could slide his hand beneath the waistband of your body glove, you would be slick and ready.
The knife moved faster, practically on autopilot while Tech continued to hold you in place, working on the screen in your hands until the error message was cleared out, and the download you’d been attempting completed.
“Thanks, Tech,” you said in a soft, breathy voice.
“You’re welcome,” he replied, moving around the table to sit down and work on a project of his own.
Hunter sheathed his knife with a click, noting the way you watched Tech a moment before turning your attention to the game you’d downloaded. Your breathing pattern remained irregular, and the smell of your desire was permeating the room. He was almost relieved when you announced you were showering and practically fled the room.
After the door shut behind you, Hunter swallowed, and exhaled slowly.
“Did you do that on purpose?” He asked, sliding out of his bunk to take a seat at the table with Tech.
“I was helping you test your theory. Was I successful?” Tech replied without looking up.
“Her heart was pounding so loudly, I could barely hear what you were saying,” Hunter said.
“I’ll take that as a yes. You’re welcome.”
“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it, Tech,” Hunter said in a teasing tone.
“That was never in doubt,” Tech replied, continuing to focus on his project.
***
The time when you definitely didn’t fuck up the Marauder with your lack of piloting skills:
“You know, if you weren’t such a hot shot, we could do this less often,” you grunted out as you strained to loosen a bolt on the Marauder.
“Technically, the current repairs were necessitated by your need to be ‘hot shot’ as you so eloquently put it,” Tech replied.
You heard Echo’s muffled chuckle from somewhere to your left, and your face burned. You were glad Tech couldn’t see the look on your face from his position farther aft. You didn’t have your bucket on, so your lack of a poker face would be a true disservice to you here. In fact you didn’t have any of your armor on.
It was absolutely sweltering on the backwater planet you were stuck on for the time being, so you were stripped down to your underwear.
The boys were equally undressed, and you’d slathered them all down with skin protectants to prevent them from burning. Mostly Crosshair. He was already prickly, and the last thing you or anyone else wanted was to deal with him sunburnt and peeling.
Wrecker had you up on his shoulders, so you could reach the necessary panels, and you couldn’t believe how hot he was beneath you. Clones ran hot, but Wrecker was a damn sun.
“Wrecker, I’m gonna have to check my thighs for burns after this. How are you this hot?” You asked.
“You’re the doctor, you tell me,” He replied, chuckling.
“Fair point. Pass me the spanner wrench please,” you asked with a smile. “With any luck we’ll be done soon, and we can get out of here.”
“You could try focusing on medicine and not piloting, and we can avoid things like this in the future,” Crosshair said, placing a toothpick between his lips.
“You know, Cross, it’s amazing how you have the best eyesight in the galaxy, and you still can’t watch your mouth,” you snapped, the heat having sapped every ounce of your patience.
Crosshair looked absolutely stunned, and scoffed before disappearing into the ship. Clearly it was too hot to bother bickering with you this time.
Wrecker buried his face against one of your thighs to muffle his laughter, and a jolt shot through your core. His lips and teeth pressed against the sensitive skin, if he wanted he could bite down, mark your skin. Only the two of you would know.
Don’t go there. You chastised yourself. It was not right to think of him like that, right? Besides you were in a terrible position to get aroused. Think unsexy thoughts, you thought taking a deep breath, as you began reciting all of the bones in the human body.
Hunter had been content to focus on inventory while you all worked on repairs, but he couldn’t ignore your heartbeat pounding in his ears like a war drum. He strolled down the ramp of the ship, under the pretense of stretching his legs, easily finding you perched atop Wrecker’s shoulders.
Wrecker’s hands had a light grip on your bare thighs, and Hunter could hear the strain in your breathing. Deep inhale, shaky exhale.
His nose caught the faintest hint of your arousal, and he had to retreat back into the ship. He’d tried his best to get used to it, as it was bound to happen every now and then, but it still hit him like a rampaging rancor every time. His body reacted as quickly as yours these days. You didn’t even know what you were putting him through.
“Did Dr. Brat annoy you too?” Crosshair asked from his bunk, as Hunter made his way back to storage.
“No, she saves that just for you, Crosshair,” he said with a smirk, nearly laughing when his brother’s heart skipped a beat.
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tagging: @dystopicjumpsuit @iamburdened @sunshinesdaydream @dukeoftheblackstar @rexxdjarin @wolffegirlsunite @sleepingsun501 @808tsuika @wings-and-beskar (think you’ll enjoy this too!)
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