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befuddled-calico-whump · 24 days ago

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Total $hit$how: The Tables Turn

in which Joy sorta gets asked out

cw: adult/crude language, manipulative leader

previous // Masterlist // next

×~×~×

Joy was probably driving way too fast.

She couldn't help it. Knowing that Kaius was out there, stuck who-knew-where---and Vic wasn't gonna let them help---really lit a fire under her ass. If the other two noticed the high speeds, they didn't comment on it. Jericho was staring out the window, and Benji was squeezed beside her, chewing on his thumbnail.

“I remember where we turned,” he mumbled as they entered the city limits and the truck began to slow down. “We had to go on foot for a ways, but I should be able to pick out the spot they got him.”

It was dark. Joy didn't even know what day of the week it was at this point, but it didn't look like many of the shops were open, save a bar or two.

“Then what?” she asked. “How do we find him?”

“We…” Benji trailed off, shaking his head.

“We trigger the alarm again,” Jericho answered, eyes still locked on the window. “One of us can act as bait while the other two hang back. Tail whoever comes to take them.”

“And if it's Finley?”

“Then we should've been careful what we wished for,” Joy muttered. An irrational part of her wondered if this was all part of Vic's plan. Get one of them kidnapped to teach the others a lesson about pushing back against his decrees. Well… maybe it wasn't that irrational.

“I'll play the bait,” Benji said.

Joy gave him a sidelong glance. “You sure?”

“Yeah. I mean, they already saw me. Maybe it'll be fun?” He didn't sound convinced.

“Okay,” Jer said. “We'll have our eyes on you. Promise.”

Benji nodded, hands folding in his lap. “Fuck, I hope we find him before Vic catches us.”

Joy'd had similar thoughts the whole ride down. Her optimistic side wanted to believe their handler would be impressed with a successful rescue, but a much bigger part of her doubted it. Was it even possible for them to pull this off without Vic knowing? It'd be real hard to convince him Manak came back on his own, especially if the three of them were cut up from a scuffle.

And what happened if he did catch them? Would he kick them off the mission? This was probably the best test for pushing boundaries they were gonna get. At least it served the bigger picture. If they could pull this off, maybe there were other rules to be bent. Avenues for doing it their way instead of Vic’s.

“Up ahead,” Benji said, pointing at a brick building. “There's an alley just past there. That's where it is.”

Joy slowed to a roll, eyeing the spot as they passed it. “It's embedded in the wall?”

“Yeah, behind a… a fake brick plating or something.”

Neat. The plating was probably wired into the building itself to get the signal out; either that, or the receiver was pretty close by. Was it inlaid in the building's plans? Or maybe whoever’d built it just snuck out night after night, chipping away a secret compartment. Ballsy of them, if that was the—

“Uh, we might be a bit far?”

“Shit, sorry.” Joy hit the brakes. Probably a little too hard. The other two lurched forward in their seats.

“Okay,” Jericho said, rubbing his neck. “Benji, you can hop out here. We'll swing the truck around and keep a lookout.”

Benji gave several quick nods, but didn't say anything. Or move as Jericho unbuckled and hopped out.

“Hey, you ready?”

He shrugged. “I don't know,” he said, a nervous laugh following the words out. “I guess… easier said than done, playing bait. I mean, I've done it before, but that just means I know it's really fucking scary.”

Joy hit the release on her own seatbelt. “Then I'll do it.”

“Huh? No, you don't have to. I just need to get my nerve up—”

“I'll do it,” she repeated. “Jer, take the wheel.”

“I'm sorry,” Benji said. “I know I'm a coward, I just—”

“Benji.” She clapped his shoulder. “It's cool. Just watch my back, okay?” She was curious about the alarm system anyway.

The truck pulled away as she made her way toward the alley, cursing the dim light and her neglect to ask exactly where on the wall the panel was. Oh well, too late now. She ran her fingers along the bricks, feeling for any difference in structure with her nails. A few areas gave her a false positive, yielding nothing when she tried to pry them backwards.

When she reached the definitely more obvious panel, she felt a little dumb for trying the others. Joy popped it off, a grin crossing her face as a little green light inside began to flash.

Mission accomplished, now for that side quest. She lined her face up with the compartment, squinting inside. Transmitter, motion sensor… ah, looked like it had light shift detection too, maybe as a backup. The wires disappeared into the wall of the compartment.

Wired into the building itself. First guess. Joy grinned. She almost didn't hear the hum of an engine getting closer.

Right. The other half of the mission. Eh, she was supposed to get grabbed anyway, Joy thought, not bothering to drop her focus from the little hidden setup. The receiver was small, and who she assumed were its creators had gotten here really quick, so their hideout had to be nearby. Either that or the transmitter was running on a mega power source. Though it could also be a combination—

Someone cleared their throat behind her, and Joy turned to see a tall man with a spiky purple faux-hawk, hair shining neon against the headlights of a van.

“Ah. Hi,” she said. Weird. She figured she'd be grabbed by now.

“Whatcha doin’ there then?” the man asked.

“Checking out your system,” Joy said. “The hidey hole is neat, and I was curious.” Mission. “Guy named Vic told me about this spot,” she added, hoping that was enough to get the ball rolling.

“Right.” The man shrugged. “I was afraid of that.” He seized the handle of the van’s sliding door and jerked it open, inclining his head towards it. “Alright. Ah, you can just hop in.”

Joy stared at him. If this was how they fucking got Kaius…

“Ah, shit. Wait, my bad. Manak said you'd be good with it. You're on his team, yeah? Finley just wants to chat.”

Well well. How the tables turned. Joy simply gave the man a shrug and climbed inside.

“Oh, we'll grab your friends too,” he said as he climbed into the passenger seat. “The more the merrier.”

×~×~×

“Thought there was five of you?” The driver, a woman who'd introduced herself as Duckie, said.

“There are.” Jericho had adapted to the sort-of-being-kidnapped thing really quickly. Maybe it was just a skill that you got once you became a parent. “The fifth person… well, it's just us tonight.”

Yeah, because no way would Harbor stick out his neck for this. Joy didn't even want to try to ask after their last proposed rescue.

“Well, Finley will be glad to talk to any of you.”

“Didn't Kaius tell her enough?” Benji asked, still hunched in a nervous pose. He took the kidnapping a lot worse than Jer.

“It isn't about what you know,” the third passenger, a man who hadn't bothered to toss out a name, put in. “It's what we know.”

Ominous, but she liked the sound of that. She was already dying to know more about any of the mission details. If Finley could offer that, willingly, Joy was ready for it. She could only hope the new information was more of a blessing than a curse. But then... Look at their luck so far.

As she'd assumed, it wasn't a long ride before the van was pulling into some oversized garage.

The three of them were ushered out of the van, through an open bay area, and into some side office while Jazz went and got Finley. The place was far from homey, covered in dust, and full of junk. Probably not their usual hideout.

Despite the gentle kidnapping, Joy still let out a sigh of relief when they found an intact Kaius in the other side of the office door, reading a dusty manual for what looked like a hydraulic press, a half-empty plastic water bottle on the desk beside him.

The guy was a bit of an arrogant ass, but it hadn't taken Joy long to accept him as their arrogant ass.

“Thank fuck you're okay!”

Kaius was stiff as a board as Benji’s arms wrapped around him, but under the irritated look, Joy could almost swear she saw the hint of a smile.

“A congratulatory handshake would have sufficed.”

“Ah, right, sorry.”

“So,” Joy said, taking a seat in a rusting foldout chair. “Where are we sitting on a scale from ‘hostage’ to ‘secretly in charge’?”

“A good distance from the latter,” Kaius replied. “But we'll be free to go once Finley gives you her spiel.”

“Oh?”

“Allegedly.”

“Then why are you still here?” Jericho asked, leaning on the desk.

“Wasn't convinced he wouldn't just yap to Vic.”

Joy's head swiveled towards the doorway, where a lean woman with a highlighter-yellow mullet was standing.

Kaius seemed unsurprised by her entrance. "Speak of the devil."

The woman shrugged. "Speak of the yapper."

“What was your plan?” Joy asked, folding her arms to match Finley's stance. “Keep him here forever?”

“He was on the verge of convincing me otherwise when the alarm hit.” She cocked her head. “Now I just have more people to share the good news with.”

In the corner of the room, Benji looked like he was trying to make himself smaller. “So is it actual good news? Because the way you said it…”

“No, you're right. I lied. It's shitty news, but it's the truth, and that's better than anything Vic’s feeding you.”

“What do you want for it?” Joy asked, raising an eyebrow. She'd dealt with this type before; friendly strangers with something slippery about them, always swore they had something you wanted, but it always came with a price.

“Only your undivided attention.”

Ah yes, the one thing she had a hard time giving. Joy glanced back at Jericho, then Kaius, who gave a single nod. The gesture seemed to be enough of an invitation for Finley.

“I was Vic’s first pick,” she said, stuffing her hands in her pockets and throwing a grin into the room.

Vic's first… he knew her? Was that why..? Joy bit the inside of her cheek, trying not to let any surprise cross her face. Shock and awe seemed to be exactly what the woman wanted, and Joy didn't want to give her that satisfaction. Not yet.

“I used to work for Rotorworx covertly,” Finley continued. “Ferried supplies back and forth for their batshit science projects. And I guess somewhere along the line, things got a little too batshit. The government took notice and didn't like what they saw. Now,” she swatted her bangs out of her eyes. “That was where it got complicated. See, the DoD has a contract with Rotorworx. Uses them for weapons advancements and aircraft shit. It's not a relationship they wanna fuck up, but they can't let RW keep playing with fire the way they have been. Because it's bigger than a little fire, a little lab disaster. They're…” She snapped her fingers a few times. “well, they're—”

“Fingerfucking reality?” Benji offered, and Finley pointed at him with a smirk.

“They sure are. And as you can imagine, the Department of Energy had something to say about that.”

“Then why didn't they just shut them down?” Jericho asked, shifting in place.

“Oh y’know. Privatized company, partnerships with various three-letter-agencies, high value assets, billionaires,” Finley replied, counting off each on a finger. “It gets really convoluted really fast. The DoE tried to have a chat, but their CEO wasn't having it. So they figured, why ruin a perfectly good relationship when they could just hire someone to break their new toy?”

“So they hired Vic,” Joy finished.

“Bingo. And Vic tried to hire me. He wanted to build a specialized team and needed my expertise, or so he said. I mean, can't blame him. I'm probably the best pick for an op like this.” Finley shrugged. “But I did my own digging. Poked around, listened in on a few closed-door conversations, found out that yeah, they want the Reality Cage destroyed, but they also want someone to pin the crime on.” She leaned into the doorframe, fixing each of them with a look before continuing. “And that's where you come in, sweethearts.”

It took a moment for the words to settle, split-seconds of denials and excuses and justifications flashing through Joy’s head like a firing squad. Vic needed them, they had specialized skills, he'd made a deal that benefited everyone, why trick them like that?

But Finley was right, wasn't she? As much as Joy wanted to tell herself that no, she was inclined to believe this stranger over Vic because she was biased, because Vic was a cold bastard who clearly didn't give a damn about them, it was enough.

Vic didn't give a shit about them. Finley didn't stand to gain anything from telling them, at least as far as Joy could figure. And worst of all, this was the final puzzle piece to make it all make sense. Why else would Vic hire a bunch of random criminals he had no reason to trust? Why else would he put them through weeks of training to do what he and Sahota could've done in one night?

It was all a con, and she should've known better. Of course they weren't being set loose after the mission. It had seemed legit enough when the offer was first made, but had that just been her desperation talking? At the time, the choices she'd been presented with were to take Vic’s offer or land her happy ass in prison. Guess either option had always ended at the same destination.

“We appreciate the warning,” Jericho said, his expression nothing short of troubled. Jer… he had a lot more stake in this than any of them. All he wanted was to see his kid again, but Vic, that son of a bitch…

“Why did you tell us?” Joy said. “Why not let us take the fall?”

“Good old fashioned chivalry ain’t dead yet,” Finley said. “And I wanted to let you suckers know you're off the hook.”

Benji's eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

“I pulled a few strings and got my guys signed on as a contingency team. If Vic fails, the DoE is sending us out. Only difference is, we're not playing scapegoat.”

“And they're letting you?”

“The prison scheme was Vic’s plan,” Finley answered. “Five nobodies with criminal history, caught breaking into Rotorworx with intent to steal and pawn and break things. The poor Reality Cage was caught in the crossfire, bringing a year of sketchy-ass progress to a close. So sad.”

“Then why would he bother with us? He could be in and out without a trace.”

“Does Vic really seem like the type to neglect covering his ass? He's not gonna risk it.”

“And you are?”

“Sweetheart, I am all about risk.” Her teeth flashed in a fresh grin, and Joy forgot her next point. Fuck.

“The sum of it is, we're free to go,” Kaius said.

“Exactly. No guilt, no betrayal from old man Shepard, no cops. Pick up where you left off and don't look back.”

“What about Sahota?”

Finley raised an eyebrow, squinting at Jericho. “Who?”

“Sahota,” Jer repeated. “Vic’s partner?”

She shrugged. “I didn't know Vic had a partner. Everything I dredged up pinned him as a solo operator.”

Joy exchanged a look with the others. “Does… do you know anyone who would know about him? If he's in on this?”

“Vic’s a shadowy bastard. There's a lot about him no one knows. Including what company he keeps.”

Was Sahota in on this? She didn't want to believe he could be, but he was just as secretive as Vic. He'd given them the chance to win a chat with Finley, which could've blown the whole lie wide open, but had he known it was a losing game from the start? Even after Jericho came out on top, Vic hadn't honored the bet.

Maybe he did know. But maybe he didn't get a say. Vic called the shots in their partnership; in their relationship.

“Is that all then?” Joy asked, slouching in her seat. Free to go or not, there was a big fucking mess in their wake, and she didn't know if they should do something about it. She didn't know if they could.

“That's all. Run away, or go back to Vic. I did my moral duty. It's in your hands now.”

This was it then. They could just leave. Fuck off and slip back into the lives they'd left. Would it be safe? Probably not, but none of them had really been safe from the start.

“What do you think Vic will do?” Benji asked as Finley left the room, closing the door between them. “If we leave, I mean.”

“We just have to get far enough away that he won't find us,” Joy answered, uncertain even as she said the words. What would Vic do? What would Sahota do?

“What about Harbor?” Jericho said, and Joy cursed under her breath.

“Harbor has a hard-on for Vic,” she muttered. “I'm sure he'll be fine.”

Jericho didn't look convinced. “You want to leave him there?”

Ah fuck, she couldn't handle the disappointed dad look. Jer was a master of it. “I didn't… I mean, no, I don't want Harbor to take the fall or anything. But he's cozy with Vic, isn't he?”

Jericho grimaced. “He… I think there'll be trouble for him if he stays.”

“Because of Sahota?” Honestly, if their trainer wanted to kick his ass again, Harbor had it coming.

“Because of Vic.” Jer sighed, rubbing his face. “It's been a long night. I… I talked to Harbor. Just before Benji came in. Vic was there when he hurt Sahota. I think… I think Vic made him do it.”

Fuck. Joy bit her lip. Fuck. What was one more thing she didn't want to believe? From the start, she'd known their relationship went deeper than business partners. They loved together for fuck's sake. Sahota had been there for twelve years. Why would Vic encourage that?

As much as she didn't want to, it was just one more thing that was easy to believe.

“We need to go back for him," Jer said. "Maybe we can convince Sahota to come too.”

“You think he would?” Kaius piped up, brows creasing.

“I think he should have the option. Look, you all can run. You should run. I'll go back to the compound, talk to them both about this—”

“No,” Kaius said. “They will know we were gone by the time we return. If it's only you, I'm not certain Vic will give you another opportunity to leave. He still needs his scapegoat.”

“He knows it was Finley who got you,” Joy cut him off. “Either way, he'll be suspicious.”

“So we'll lie,” Kaius said, getting to his feet. “Tell him it was Finley, but we don’t believe a word she said.”

“It won't work. He'll see through it.”

“He only needs to buy it for one day,” Kaius said. “Once night falls, we'll be gone. For good. If Harbor has any sense, he'll be with us.”

“And if he doesn't?”

“He's a free man. It's his funeral to plan.”

Jericho stepped in closer, closing the circle they'd unconsciously formed. “It's worth a try, but I'm not the best liar.”

“Ruebin is,” Kaius said, and Benji perked up beside him. “I'm sure he can convince Vic long enough to give us time.”

“One last mission,” Joy said wryly, and Jericho cracked a smile.

“Guess we should hit the road.”

Joy hopped up, pushing the door open. Finley was still outside, slouching against a shipping container like a freckled scarecrow.

“I guess I did tell you you could go back to Vic,” she said, eyes glittering as she fixed them on Joy. “Didn't think you'd reach that conclusion so soon, but props for the heroism.”

Joy raised an eyebrow. “Another closed-door conversation?”

“It's a bad habit.” Her arm swept out, gesturing for the warehouse exit. “I won't stand in your way. Best of luck tricking that sly bastard.”

Joy sighed. “I guess… thanks. You saved our asses.”

“Only for you to jump back into the frying pan, but I did try.” Her smile faded for a moment, eyes holding the tiniest bit of seriousness as she looked at Joy. “Well hey, I can't blame you either. I'd do the same for any of my idiots.” She reached out her hand, pressing a piece of paper against her hand. Joy closed her fingers around it, looking to Finley for an explanation.

“If said sly bastard gives you too much trouble, give me a call," she said in answer. "I'll see what I can do. And if he doesn't, and you wanna get dinner sometime…” She winked. “It's a versatile offer.”

Joy tried to keep herself from flushing as she gave a quick nod, squeezing the paper in her fist. “Yeah. Yup. Uh, thanks. Again.”

Dinner, huh? She hadn't given much thought to after, and they still had a long and bumpy road ahead, but… she could do dinner. Probably. She had questions about that alarm system of theirs anyway.

The hard part was behind them. Now time for the harder part. The Harbor part. The guy was a dickhead, but if Jer’s assumptions were true, he didn't deserve to be left in the dust. They could get him out of Vic’s clutches and part ways, easy peasy. If they could get him out of Vic's clutches.

What if they couldn't convince him? What if he just ran off to snitch the first chance he got? They'd have to be ready for a quick exit. And Sahota…

She didn't know how they'd convince Sahota. It was a dangerous bridge to cross. If he knew, if he'd been lying to them all this time, the game would be up. The end. But if he was in the dark too, didn't he deserve to know? Didn't he deserve the chance to quit a job that would probably get him killed one of these days? To leave behind a partner who would let that happen?

The four of them squeezed into the truck’s cab and Joy started her up. They'd walk that line when they came to it, and damned if she wouldn't give it her all, but right now, they had an hour to get their story straight, an hour to prepare to face Vic. No sleep, plenty of new, exciting, dooming information.

The shitshow was about to begin. She just hoped they were all ready for it.

×~×~×

tag list:

@theonewithallthefixations , @violets-whumperflies ,

@whump-me , @pirefyrelight , @soheavyaburden , @snakebites-and-ink , @whumpsday ,

@kixngiggles , @echo-goes-aaa , @whumpcateyes , @clickerflight ,

@sodacreampuff , @starfields08000 , @neverthelass , @melpomenelamusa

#im in my 'fuck it we ball' era #this story does not pass the bechdel test /j #also this has me thinking about an au where they don't make the choice they make here :) and what would happen to hunter after :)#even better if he went with his other option in his last chapter and didn't snitch to vic #with the intent of telling them he kept their secret when they came back #only they don't come back :)#total$hit$how #writing #calico writes #“you sly dog you got me monologuing”#new crack ship is joy x the alarm system tbh

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zorosleftmantit101 · 1 year ago

Text

Zoro and sanji as a conversation I had with my friend.

Characters: Zoro and Sanji

C/W: swearing, use of the word fag (where both gay 🥰)

A/N: He loves me I promise ❤️

Sanji: Zoro

Sanji: I think my mama is gay for your mama 🤯

Sanji: she was saying how like she genuinely thinks your mum is a stunning lady

Zoro: thats so sweet

Zoro: i thought your mum was going to spear tackle me and break my fingers 🥰

Sanji: what

Zoro: IDK I WAS SCARED

Sanji: bro she can do nothing

Sanji: she pays hundred of dollars to see 💀

Zoro: are you shaming your mum for being blind

Zoro: thats metal as hell

Sanji: I got my blindness from her dipshit🙄

Zoro: your blind?!

Zoro: sorry i dont think we can be friends anymore

Zoro: i just hate blind ppl

Zoro: but whats this

Zoro: *insert 1 attachment photo*

Zoro: blindness healing wizard is here!

Sanji: bro

Sanji: kys

Zoro: love you too

Sanji: die

Zoro: *live

Zoro: you miss-spelled it lol

Sanji: lick my armpits faggo

Zoro: maybe

Zoro: maybe i...

Zoro: wanna

Zoro: 🥰

Sanji: Ok bae, just put the phone down

Zoro: yes dad 😖

Sanji: 😦

Sanji: your older than me

Zoro: oh yeah

Zoro: yes son

Sanji: ok

Sanji: thats worse

Zoro: yes mum

Zoro: what do you want from me

Zoro: yes uncle

Zoro: yes grandma

Sanji: NONE

Sanji: LEAVE ME ALONE

Zoro: IM IN YOU WALLS

Zoro: 🥰

Sanji: IM IN THE BUS DIPNIPS

Zoro: IM IN THE BUS WALLS

Sanji: NOT POSSIBLE 🙄

Zoro: Oh yeah than how do i know your on the bus then

Sanji: CAUSE I TOLD YOU

Zoro: Nuh uh

Sanji: Fym nuh uh

Zoro: I mean NUH UH

Zoro: Dont make me get my wizards on you

Zoro: Bartholemu the mysterious will fuck you up

Sanji: Your wizard is a bitch

Sanji: and a losser

Zoro: Alright thats its im going to get benadict cumberbatch the awesome to explode your brain

Sanji: Can you stop being autistic

Zoro: NO ��

Sanji: ok

Zoro: ...

Zoro: your making daddy angey

*you have been blocked by this user*

#zorosleftmantit #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece headcanons #one piece funny #headcanon #one piece x you #crack post #ronoroa zoro #zoro #roronoa zoro #zoro smut #pirate hunter zoro #black leg sanji #zoro x sanji #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #zoro x reader #one piece crack

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morallygreyintrovert · 8 months ago

Text

The tortured hunters department (Dean’s version)

John Winchester, the smallest man who ever lived -

‘I would’ve died for your sins. Instead, I’d just died inside’

‘And you deserve prison but you won’t get time’

‘And in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. And I’ll forget you, but I’ll never forgive. The smallest man who ever lived’

You can’t convince me taylor Swift Isn’t a Destiel shipper. If John winchester has no haters then I’m dead. Obviously I’m reading another fic where our poor Dean is struggling to battle his demons and childhood trauma

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lil-elle · 1 year ago

Note

Can I request xikers reaction to you smacking their ass?please)🧍

HELP ME THIS IS SO SILLY

Smacking XIKERS' Ass 💀

pairs: bsf!xikers x gn!reader

genre: crack, (mostly) shy boys, best friends, crushes? (Yujuns one)

word count: 827

content: mild coarse language (?) ((Literally in the title too))

a/n: i love silly stuff like this sometimes hehehhehehe

Minjae:

Would squeak out of surprise and then get embarrassed by it

He'd turn around and look at you smirking at him. He'd be so red in the face

Try to play off his shyness and embarrassment with anger, scolding you but his voice is cracking and you can't take him seriously 😭

Junmin:

Would just gasp and freeze, taking a good few minutes to process what just happened

Would look down at you slowly and just stutter gibberish, you can't help but giggle at his flusteredness

When he finally snaps back to reality he'd be wagging his finger at you, scolding you with a high pitched voice, telling you that's immature and inappropriate

From then on he'd somehow manage to catch your hand whenever you try and do it again

Sumin:

“Woah!” “Hey, now!” “Look but don't touch!” chuckles and other cheesy one liners

He'd smack yours back as payback, let's be real. But it's okay, you probably like it (he liked when you smacked his too 💀)

It'd become a competition honestly, you'd sneak up on each other and try and smack each other as hard as possible and whenever one of you screams, the other would just point and laugh

Jinsik:

Would gasp and just turn to you dramatically with a red face while trying to ask you why you did that through stutters

Would then try and play it off with a joke or something as if his face isn't beet red and you'd just be giggling at him, clearly not buying it until he'd eventually just bury his face in his hands

Literally a roller-coaster of emotions. He would not be forgetting this for a while

Hyunwoo:

He'd cope with being embarrassed by rambling to you about the ethics of doing something like that and how completely unacceptable it is (random bullshit) all while his face is slowly going red

He'd be like “well what if I did it back to you!” Only for you to stare back at him like 👁👁 (you want him to do it, you just didn't expect that)

He'd end up just running away and he'd literally lie awake that night. Poor boy is traumatised from the embarrassment and now he's convinced you think he's a weirdo

Junghoon:

He'd just turn around like 🤨 but a small smile would start to creep onto his face that he'd try to hide but it'd be too obvious

He'd honestly just think it's funny or random of you to do that, maybe a little embarrassed but mostly just playing it off like “lmfao what”

You'd keep doing in everyday trying to get a reaction out of him and he'd just be like “pfft” every time and nothing more, may as well give up 😔

Seeun:

He wouldn't make any sound or actually be that scared or surprised. He'd just turn to you with a smirk on his face, just finding it amusing

He'd find a way to start teasing you….somehow 💀. He'd be like “damn didn't know you wanted to touch me so bad." He'd make you the one that's embarrassed for doing it

He'd also definitely do it back to you. He'd catch you off guard and just smack with the most speed and velocity. Bro would literally send you into orbit I'm not gonna lie

Yujun:

He'd shriek like lowkey shriek like a little girl. He'd just turn around like :O and stare at you so flabbergasted

He'd be so red too, like head to toe red as he stares at your satisfied grin. He wouldn't even be embarrassed, just flustered by the contact. He's a little baby, what can you say

He'd be another one to lay awake and think about it. All im saying is he definitely has a crush on you and you just made it worse

Hunter:

IJBOL. He would burst out laughing and you'd just be confused but he wouldn't stop laughing and you'd end up feeling awkward and embarrassed for some reason (he's doing it on purpose

He'd tease you about it, saying it's cute or something and just making you feel so flustered so you'd never do it again

Secretly, it made him super embarrassed which is why he tried so hard to influence you to never do it again. He doesn't want you to see his weak side

Yechan:

Literally wouldn't care like he'd just smile and chuckle that little chuckle of his. Then he'd just be like “what's up?” As if smacking his ass was a greeting of some sort

You'd just be standing there like “???” because the other members at least acknowledged what you did but he's just standing there talking to you like it didn't happen???

You'd just walk away confused until suddenly he's sneaking up behind you to do it back and you're shrieking and he's laughing at you do hard you're convinced he might suffocate

♡♡♡♡♡♡

TAGLIST:

@hyunromi @chocoeon @hyunukitty @minjaezed @ihyeokzu @cake1box @chiiyuuvv

#xikers #xikers imagines #xikers fanfic #xikers fluff #xikers x reader #xikers drabble #xikers crack #xikers minjae #xikers junmin #xikers sumin #xikers jinsik #xikers hyunwoo #xikers junghoon #xikers seeun #xikers yujun #xikers hunter #xikers yechan

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thedramall4ma · 3 months ago

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Raging Brachygou.

I'm not sorry.

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the-menace-in-pink · 2 years ago

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‘3 CM TALLER THAN YOU’ Killua vs Feitan chat

I got reminded of the Navy Seal meme and somehow Killua and Feitan came to mind lol. Just a snippet 💀

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feitansballsack · 7 months ago

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Would you guys still love me if I brought this to your attention… (poll under the break!!)

Along with visualized headcannons…

And fanart…

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crusty-chronicles · 1 year ago

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hi!! i hope you're doing well!! i was hoping if you could write an (platonic) airhead headcanon for gon from hxh?? you dont have to if youre not comfortable w writing it!

i really enjoy reading your works and i hope you have a lovely day!!!

Ah yes, another chaotic crack fic coming up.

BONUS AIRHEADED S/O HEADCANNONS: Gon (HxH)

For starters, there is not a single thought to be had between the two of you

Heads empty with static

You tripped and fell?

He's stumbling on your body and toppling over.

Gon got stung by a bee?

You're fighting the entire hive, only to end up having the worst allergic reaction of your life.

You wanna play in the rain without a jacket?

The both of you end up with colds the next day.

Gon can't do math and you can't read or write, so it balances out.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Poor Killua is the one who has to put up with both of you

"No Y/n. Eating a glow stick will not make you radioactive and shiny." "No Gon. You can't bake a cookie in one minute just because you set the oven to 1500 degrees."

His two best friends are complete idiots and he can't do anything about it.

But on the bright side, you and Gon are endless entertainment.

You most likely met during the Hunter's Exam.

He and Killua were surprised to see another kid taking the exam, especially one that was keeping up just as well

Leading Gon to ask his famous icebreaker question.

"Why do you wanna become a hunter?"

And immediately your face scrunched up in confusion.

"A what? I thought we were all playing a game."

"But you had to fill out an application." Killua pointed out, very suspicious of your answer.

"Really? Cuz I just snuck in."

Both boys leave it at that because #1, a new friend. And #2 you've got to be really skilled to make it this far.

Also keeps you far away from Hisoka

Like he legit fears for your life and will not let you fight him.

He's seen that clown up close and personal and doesn't want you to get hurt or, knowing hisoka, worse.

"Hisoka gave me a lollipop and told me to meet him outside."

"SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW!"

Now while Gon's ditzy, he's nowhere near as clueless as you.

You're lactose intolerant?

Then why are you downing cheese sticks like you're never gonna eat again?

I'm sorry? You're allergic to shellfish?????

WHY ARE STILL EATING GNAWING ON A CRAB LEG!?!? STOP YOUR FACE IS TURNING RED!!!!

Please stop jumping into lakes to catch fish. 🥺

You're gonna get sick and Gon wants to show you how to fish

There is no babying

You ARE the babies.

Buuuut, Gon will mother hen you after every fight because you're ten times as reckless as him.

You got stabbed once during a fight, and instead of moving back, you pushed yourself further into the blade just to punch your attacker.

Which resulted in a huge lecture from Killua while Gon tried to stop the bleeding.

"If I see a light, should I go towards it?"

"NO!"

Tbh Gon really doesn't have any nicknames for his friends. At most he'll just introduce you as one of his best friends.

He doesn't have it in him to be mean spirited towards you like a certain assassin.

Has a habit of encouraging your bad ideas instead of shutting them down.

Make no mistake, he knows they're awful ideas, but you're trying.

And Aunt Mito says it's the effort that counts.

Speaking of Mito 👀👀👀

She adores you

Surprisingly, you're very helpful in the kitchen.

Just not around knives, which she realized after you sliced through the cutting board.

She also likes how responsible you make Gon.

He's more observant and careful when you're around.

To put it simply, he loves you and Killua with his whole heart.

Two of the most important people he'd do just about anything for.

MASTERLIST

#gon x reader #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter x y/n #hxh gon #gon freecss #hunter x hunter #airhead s/o #stronk s/o #crack fic #x reader #x y/n #platonic

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iateyourfav · 10 months ago

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Beastification - Chapter 1

Cid sends the Bad Batch on a mission to rescue a certain Mr Beast from the grasp of Jabba the Hutt. After they retrieve him, something changes. There's something different about Mr Beast and they can't tell for certain what it is. Will they ever get rid of Mr Beast?

The Bad Batch x Mr Beast

Tags: sfw, Crack fic, slow burn, Mr Beast AU, I'm trying to be serious about this.

CW: the y/nification of Mr Beast, mentions of child abduction, canon violence, indication of mpreg (sfw), Mr Beast talks to a invisible camera, Lore breaking content

Words: 881

Will update on Wednesdays and Sundays

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | ...

Read on ao3

Cid hadn‘t told them much about the mission, as usual, but still, something felt fishy about this one. What was most suspicious was that Cid had this slight smirk on her face the entire briefing while she neglected details on whatever would await them at their destination in favor of talking about how they would thank her for this mission once they come back.

Tensions were high on the Marauder. Everyone hoped Cids indications would mean better payment this time around. While Omega was asleep in her Gunner Mount/Room the rest of the batch gathered in the cockpit.

Wrecker, who sat in the copilot seat, broke the silence first. „I don‘t know what’s going on with Cid and this mission. I just hope we‘re gonna get paid and not killed.“ He crossed his arms, pouting.

„It will be a rather simple extraction. To be completely honest, calling it a pick-up would be more fitting. We will meet the target on Mos Eisley. Though I do wonder how they ended up there and why we are sent to bring them back. This mission seems to mock our abilities“ Tech replied, sounding just slightly angry at this extraction not having to make use of his heightened intelligence. „We‘re approaching Tatooine.“

Hunter leaned against the back wall, brows furrowed. He didn’t like this. Usually, when they were sent on simpler missions, only two of them would go, but Cid insisted they would need all hands on deck on this one. It didn‘t make sense to him. Deep in thought, he almost didn‘t notice the small hands pulling on his arm.

„It‘s gonna be fine, Hunter, don‘t worry. It could be fun!“ Omega smiled up at him, excited as ever. Of course, she had never been to Tatooine before, so that fact alone made her excited to go through on this mission. Though that excitement quickly vanished.

“You‘re staying on the ship. The mission is simple, but we‘re not gonna take you into Jabba's Palace. That place is swarming with scum.“ And with that, her smile dropped.

Hunter knelt down to be able to talk to her face to face. „It‘s for the better. It‘s nasty in there, you wouldn‘t wanna see it anyways.“ Her patted her on the shoulder before standing up again. By this time they already entered the atmosphere of the planet and were getting ready to land in front of Jabba‘s Palace.

Shortly after leaving the ship the batch found themselves in front of the massive doors leading into the Hutt's Palace.

“I‘ve only heard horror stories about this place. Can‘t say I‘m excited to go in there.“ Echo commented with an already disgusted look on his face, despite not even having entered the building yet. „It‘s gonna be a quick job. We‘ll be in and out in no time. We just pay the bail and leave with the target, that‘s it.“ Hunter responded.

This triggered an annoyed huff from Wrecker. „Great, another mission where we can‘t blow anything up.“ The gates were opened for them and quickly after placed in front of Jabba to state their business.

„We‘re here to bail out one of your captives.“ Hunter tried to keep the conversation short, not desiring to speak to the Hutt more than necessary. Tech handed over the payment to one of Jabba‘s servants at the same time, also wanting to leave as fast as possible. To nobody‘s surprise, all of them felt uneasy in an establishment like this, with bounty hunters all around.

The protocol droid finally translated whatever Jabba was saying. „Your prisoner will be brought up shortly. Jabba wishes for you to leave with him as quickly as you can, he can not bear to hear any more of his voice.“

Just then their target was brought in, a sight to behold. He walked in, with the most dazzling blue eyes any of them had ever seen. Body moving in a perfect curve, hair just shaggy enough, and beard perfectly trimmed. He looked at them, one after another, through perfectly curled lashes.

It took Hunter hitting his shoulder for Wrecker to snap back out of this state of hypnosis. „Wrecker, get him.“

His cheeks turned slightly red before going up to the hostage and taking him from Jabba‘s guards. They immediately made their way towards the exit. Wrecker tried to ignore the fact that he was guiding this incredibly attractive man out of imprisonment.

The man‘s head turned towards him, ever so slightly and elegantly, like every movement he had seen from him so far. „THANK YOU.“ he whispered. This wasn‘t directed at them as a group, but exclusively at Wrecker, making his face grow even hotter. He could only muster up a grunt as a response, feeling flustered.

Omega waited for them in front of the Marauder.

“I told you to stay inside.“ Hunter shouted towards the girl, slightly irritated. „I‘m fine. I got bored so I wanted to at least wait outside for you.“ she yelled back. Then, her glance shifted from Hunter to the hostage her brothers were bringing with them. Her eyes widened, jaw dropped.

Everybody stopped in their tracks, expecting the worst from Omega‘s facial expression. A ambush, maybe. But her eyes rested on their acquired target.

“Woah, is that Mr Beast??????“

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