#hunter x hunter crack

[the-menace-in-pink]

‘Cover them up, sl*t!’ Chrollo edition + HxH characters group chat

I don’t know what the thought process was behind this but— this what happens when: sleep deprived, on my periods, bored as f*ck. 

Not a masterpiece but I super grossly doodled that in 10min 🥹 might make an upgraded ver one of these days 💀

Zeno being a bigger Chrollo hater than Kurapika tho, bless him!

[honehonn3honey]

What happens to this empty place, waiting for my arrival...

Rook in my heart. You can read the monster list here @lustlovehart

[Alt under the cut]

This is the original version but God, I don’t see anything else and I didn’t want others to get hurt watching

Now here I put my thoughts as I drew him:

I think our beautiful creature doesn't really have a human anatomy, his limbs are long and with very little muscle covering. Their bones could click together if it fully manifested. Claws replacing part of the bony fingers and nails. You could feel the long ribs behind that thick sack

He doesn’t need beyond his big and cool gothic sack to cover his abnormal appearance, after all the is no more shadows and fog for everyone’s eyes

The darkness consumes you from the pores, in each puff of lungs, you could become one with him and he would be delighted

I feel that it is detached from all worldly, but I would keep a thing or two of those who most appreciate... like the feathers of Neige or a brooch of Vil

[crusty-chronicles]

is there any chance you could add killua for the airheaded but strong s/o headcanons? If not, then no worries, I just love how you write them!

Yeah, I don't mind but it's gonna be platonic because I'm a little iffy about writing for him romantically. He's just a boy 🥺🥺🥺 This is mostly a crack fic.

BONUS AIRHEADED S/O HEADCANNONS: Killua (HxH)

Honestly tried to kill you at one point

Oh you're strong huh?

Then proceeds to hit you with everything he's got, only to see that it hardly affected you. (Kinda like the way he first treated Zushi)

After that he's petty, but impressed.

Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉 You've earned his respect 🥳🥳🥳

You're basically Gon 2.0

And he hates it

Cannot take you two anywhere

"We should break the lock to get in." Gon suggested.

"Are you stupid?" You scoffed.

"What's the point of having a door if you're just gonna break it?"

And Killua is momentarily at peace that at least one of you has some sense. Until you open your mouth again.

"Obviously we should smash open a window."

And Gon is nodding along enthusiastically

"You're right! What would we do without you 🤩"

And Killua is just 😮‍💨.

He is the parent of the group and I will die on this hill

If Gon's the sun, you're a nuke

He's constantly dragging you away from Hisoka

Nope. Not today

Why do you insist on talking to strangers.

No scratch that.

Why do you insist on talking to creepy strangers????

It gives him a massive headache everytime you almost get abducted.

Honestly thought about putting a tracker on you to avoid this happening.

But then he remembers you're practically indestructible so he drops it.

Is afraid Illumi will come for you and hurt you.

He was never allowed to have friends, and after Illumi threatened you and Gon at the Hunter Exam, he's very protective.

But then he remembers something you said after Greed Island.

"The three of us are all gonna become the best of the best. We're gonna get all wrinkly and old together and still kick butt!!! We're gonna stick together no matter what!"

And it temporarily quells the fear of his brother.

It makes him look forward to that outcome and gives him something to fight a little harder for.

When it comes to fighting, he does get a little envious of how you and Gon just rush in without thinking.

And how you always manage to win despite the circumstance.

But he never feels left behind because of it.

Like with Gon, he won't baby you, just call you an idiot and move on.

You fell?

Get up loser.

You can't read?

Find somebody else to translate. Or he'll make you do it and be laughing nonstop while you struggle to pronounce the word "Apple"

"Gon what color's an orange?"

"An orange is the same color as it's name. Just like a lemon."

Please somebody take you two back to first grade.

Killua is begging.

Even though he won't baby you, he'll rush as fast as he can if you're in actual danger.

You got caught by the phantom troupe?

"Are you completely brain dead!?!!? Where are you!?!?"

Now he regrets not putting a tracker on you.

"This nice clown man gave me candy and told me to follow him." You tell him over CALL.

"HISOOKAAAAA!!!!"

He is screaming and panicking.

You trespassed into the mountains his family lives to see him.

"WHY???? DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT MIKE!?!?"

And when he gets there he sees you rubbing the monstrous canine's tummy. Petting him and calling him a "Good Boy."

Names he has called you out of spite: Idiot, Moron, Dummy, Psycho, Airhead, Ditz, and probably Pea Brain

On the bright side, you are Alluka's favorite person.

"Give me your ribs."

"Oh, are you hungry? Let's see if we can't find you a smokehouse for those ribs."

And it baffles both souls so much that Nanika accepts that as fulfilling her command.

Plus you have endless amounts of energy that works to drain both girls out. Even when they've both already swapped twice.

Killua designates you her official babysitter when he's busy.

You are a complete lunatic and moron, but you're one of the people he trusts the most.

Even if he does complain about you a lot.

MASTERLIST

[kiwizoom]

Mer Illumi x Hisoka

[zorosleftmantit101]

Zoro and sanji as a conversation I had with my friend.

Characters: Zoro and Sanji

C/W: swearing, use of the word fag (where both gay 🥰)

A/N: He loves me I promise ❤️

Sanji: Zoro

Sanji: I think my mama is gay for your mama 🤯

Sanji: she was saying how like she genuinely thinks your mum is a stunning lady

Zoro: thats so sweet

Zoro: i thought your mum was going to spear tackle me and break my fingers 🥰

Sanji: what

Zoro: IDK I WAS SCARED

Sanji: bro she can do nothing

Sanji: she pays hundred of dollars to see 💀

Zoro: are you shaming your mum for being blind

Zoro: thats metal as hell

Sanji: I got my blindness from her dipshit🙄

Zoro: your blind?!

Zoro: sorry i dont think we can be friends anymore

Zoro: i just hate blind ppl

Zoro: but whats this

Zoro: *insert 1 attachment photo*

Zoro: blindness healing wizard is here!

Sanji: bro

Sanji: kys

Zoro: love you too

Sanji: die

Zoro: *live

Zoro: you miss-spelled it lol

Sanji: lick my armpits faggo

Zoro: maybe

Zoro: maybe i...

Zoro: wanna

Zoro: 🥰

Sanji: Ok bae, just put the phone down

Zoro: yes dad 😖

Sanji: 😦

Sanji: your older than me

Zoro: oh yeah

Zoro: yes son

Sanji: ok

Sanji: thats worse

Zoro: yes mum

Zoro: what do you want from me

Zoro: yes uncle

Zoro: yes grandma

Sanji: NONE

Sanji: LEAVE ME ALONE

Zoro: IM IN YOU WALLS

Zoro: 🥰

Sanji: IM IN THE BUS DIPNIPS

Zoro: IM IN THE BUS WALLS

Sanji: NOT POSSIBLE 🙄

Zoro: Oh yeah than how do i know your on the bus then

Sanji: CAUSE I TOLD YOU

Zoro: Nuh uh

Sanji: Fym nuh uh

Zoro: I mean NUH UH

Zoro: Dont make me get my wizards on you

Zoro: Bartholemu the mysterious will fuck you up

Sanji: Your wizard is a bitch

Sanji: and a losser

Zoro: Alright thats its im going to get benadict cumberbatch the awesome to explode your brain

Sanji: Can you stop being autistic

Zoro: NO 😡

Sanji: ok

Zoro: ...

Zoro: your making daddy angey

*you have been blocked by this user*

[morallygreyintrovert]

The tortured hunters department (Dean’s version)

John Winchester, the smallest man who ever lived -

‘I would’ve died for your sins. Instead, I’d just died inside’

‘And you deserve prison but you won’t get time’

‘And in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. And I’ll forget you, but I’ll never forgive. The smallest man who ever lived’

You can’t convince me taylor Swift Isn’t a Destiel shipper. If John winchester has no haters then I’m dead. Obviously I’m reading another fic where our poor Dean is struggling to battle his demons and childhood trauma

[lil-elle]

Can I request xikers reaction to you smacking their ass?please)🧍

HELP ME THIS IS SO SILLY

Smacking XIKERS' Ass 💀

pairs: bsf!xikers x gn!reader

genre: crack, (mostly) shy boys, best friends, crushes? (Yujuns one)

word count: 827

content: mild coarse language (?) ((Literally in the title too))

a/n: i love silly stuff like this sometimes hehehhehehe

Minjae:

Would squeak out of surprise and then get embarrassed by it

He'd turn around and look at you smirking at him. He'd be so red in the face

Try to play off his shyness and embarrassment with anger, scolding you but his voice is cracking and you can't take him seriously 😭

-

Junmin:

Would just gasp and freeze, taking a good few minutes to process what just happened

Would look down at you slowly and just stutter gibberish, you can't help but giggle at his flusteredness

When he finally snaps back to reality he'd be wagging his finger at you, scolding you with a high pitched voice, telling you that's immature and inappropriate

From then on he'd somehow manage to catch your hand whenever you try and do it again

-

Sumin:

“Woah!” “Hey, now!” “Look but don't touch!” chuckles and other cheesy one liners

He'd smack yours back as payback, let's be real. But it's okay, you probably like it (he liked when you smacked his too 💀)

It'd become a competition honestly, you'd sneak up on each other and try and smack each other as hard as possible and whenever one of you screams, the other would just point and laugh

-

Jinsik:

Would gasp and just turn to you dramatically with a red face while trying to ask you why you did that through stutters

Would then try and play it off with a joke or something as if his face isn't beet red and you'd just be giggling at him, clearly not buying it until he'd eventually just bury his face in his hands

Literally a roller-coaster of emotions. He would not be forgetting this for a while

-

Hyunwoo:

He'd cope with being embarrassed by rambling to you about the ethics of doing something like that and how completely unacceptable it is (random bullshit) all while his face is slowly going red

He'd be like “well what if I did it back to you!” Only for you to stare back at him like 👁👁 (you want him to do it, you just didn't expect that)

He'd end up just running away and he'd literally lie awake that night. Poor boy is traumatised from the embarrassment and now he's convinced you think he's a weirdo

-

Junghoon:

He'd just turn around like 🤨 but a small smile would start to creep onto his face that he'd try to hide but it'd be too obvious 

He'd honestly just think it's funny or random of you to do that, maybe a little embarrassed but mostly just playing it off like “lmfao what”

You'd keep doing in everyday trying to get a reaction out of him and he'd just be like “pfft” every time and nothing more, may as well give up 😔

-

Seeun:

He wouldn't make any sound or actually be that scared or surprised. He'd just turn to you with a smirk on his face, just finding it amusing

He'd find a way to start teasing you….somehow 💀. He'd be like “damn didn't know you wanted to touch me so bad." He'd make you the one that's embarrassed for doing it

He'd also definitely do it back to you. He'd catch you off guard and just smack with the most speed and velocity. Bro would literally send you into orbit I'm not gonna lie

-

Yujun:

He'd shriek like lowkey shriek like a little girl. He'd just turn around like :O and stare at you so flabbergasted

He'd be so red too, like head to toe red as he stares at your satisfied grin. He wouldn't even be embarrassed, just flustered by the contact. He's a little baby, what can you say

He'd be another one to lay awake and think about it. All im saying is he definitely has a crush on you and you just made it worse

-

Hunter:

IJBOL. He would burst out laughing and you'd just be confused but he wouldn't stop laughing and you'd end up feeling awkward and embarrassed for some reason (he's doing it on purpose

He'd tease you about it, saying it's cute or something and just making you feel so flustered so you'd never do it again

Secretly, it made him super embarrassed which is why he tried so hard to influence you to never do it again. He doesn't want you to see his weak side

-

Yechan:

Literally wouldn't care like he'd just smile and chuckle that little chuckle of his. Then he'd just be like “what's up?” As if smacking his ass was a greeting of some sort

You'd just be standing there like “???” because the other members at least acknowledged what you did but he's just standing there talking to you like it didn't happen???

You'd just walk away confused until suddenly he's sneaking up behind you to do it back and you're shrieking and he's laughing at you do hard you're convinced he might suffocate 

-

♡♡♡♡♡♡

TAGLIST:

@hyunromi @chocoeon @hyunukitty @minjaezed @ihyeokzu @cake1box @chiiyuuvv

[thedramall4ma]

Raging Brachygou.

I'm not sorry.

[feitansballsack]

Would you guys still love me if I brought this to your attention… (poll under the break!!)

Along with visualized headcannons…

And fanart…

[the-menace-in-pink]

‘3 CM TALLER THAN YOU’ Killua vs Feitan chat

I got reminded of the Navy Seal meme and somehow Killua and Feitan came to mind lol. Just a snippet 💀

[iateyourfav]

Beastification - Chapter 1

Cid sends the Bad Batch on a mission to rescue a certain Mr Beast from the grasp of Jabba the Hutt. After they retrieve him, something changes. There's something different about Mr Beast and they can't tell for certain what it is. Will they ever get rid of Mr Beast?

The Bad Batch x Mr Beast

Tags: sfw, Crack fic, slow burn, Mr Beast AU, I'm trying to be serious about this.

CW: the y/nification of Mr Beast, mentions of child abduction, canon violence, indication of mpreg (sfw), Mr Beast talks to a invisible camera, Lore breaking content

Words: 881

Will update on Wednesdays and Sundays

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | ...

Read on ao3

Cid hadn‘t told them much about the mission, as usual, but still, something felt fishy about this one. What was most suspicious was that Cid had this slight smirk on her face the entire briefing while she neglected details on whatever would await them at their destination in favor of talking about how they would thank her for this mission once they come back.

Tensions were high on the Marauder. Everyone hoped Cids indications would mean better payment this time around. While Omega was asleep in her Gunner Mount/Room the rest of the batch gathered in the cockpit.

Wrecker, who sat in the copilot seat, broke the silence first. „I don‘t know what’s going on with Cid and this mission. I just hope we‘re gonna get paid and not killed.“ He crossed his arms, pouting.

„It will be a rather simple extraction. To be completely honest, calling it a pick-up would be more fitting. We will meet the target on Mos Eisley. Though I do wonder how they ended up there and why we are sent to bring them back. This mission seems to mock our abilities“ Tech replied, sounding just slightly angry at this extraction not having to make use of his heightened intelligence. „We‘re approaching Tatooine.“

Hunter leaned against the back wall, brows furrowed. He didn’t like this. Usually, when they were sent on simpler missions, only two of them would go, but Cid insisted they would need all hands on deck on this one. It didn‘t make sense to him. Deep in thought, he almost didn‘t notice the small hands pulling on his arm. 

„It‘s gonna be fine, Hunter, don‘t worry. It could be fun!“ Omega smiled up at him, excited as ever. Of course, she had never been to Tatooine before, so that fact alone made her excited to go through on this mission. Though that excitement quickly vanished.

“You‘re staying on the ship. The mission is simple, but we‘re not gonna take you into Jabba's Palace. That place is swarming with scum.“ And with that, her smile dropped.

Hunter knelt down to be able to talk to her face to face. „It‘s for the better. It‘s nasty in there, you wouldn‘t wanna see it anyways.“ Her patted her on the shoulder before standing up again. By this time they already entered the atmosphere of the planet and were getting ready to land in front of Jabba‘s Palace.

Shortly after leaving the ship the batch found themselves in front of the massive doors leading into the Hutt's Palace.

“I‘ve only heard horror stories about this place. Can‘t say I‘m excited to go in there.“ Echo commented with an already disgusted look on his face, despite not even having entered the building yet. „It‘s gonna be a quick job. We‘ll be in and out in no time. We just pay the bail and leave with the target, that‘s it.“ Hunter responded.

This triggered an annoyed huff from Wrecker. „Great, another mission where we can‘t blow anything up.“ The gates were opened for them and quickly after placed in front of Jabba to state their business.

„We‘re here to bail out one of your captives.“ Hunter tried to keep the conversation short, not desiring to speak to the Hutt more than necessary. Tech handed over the payment to one of Jabba‘s servants at the same time, also wanting to leave as fast as possible. To nobody‘s surprise, all of them felt uneasy in an establishment like this, with bounty hunters all around.

The protocol droid finally translated whatever Jabba was saying. „Your prisoner will be brought up shortly. Jabba wishes for you to leave with him as quickly as you can, he can not bear to hear any more of his voice.“

Just then their target was brought in, a sight to behold. He walked in, with the most dazzling blue eyes any of them had ever seen. Body moving in a perfect curve, hair just shaggy enough, and beard perfectly trimmed. He looked at them, one after another, through perfectly curled lashes. 

It took Hunter hitting his shoulder for Wrecker to snap back out of this state of hypnosis. „Wrecker, get him.“

His cheeks turned slightly red before going up to the hostage and taking him from Jabba‘s guards. They immediately made their way towards the exit. Wrecker tried to ignore the fact that he was guiding this incredibly attractive man out of imprisonment.

The man‘s head turned towards him, ever so slightly and elegantly, like every movement he had seen from him so far. „THANK YOU.“ he whispered. This wasn‘t directed at them as a group, but exclusively at Wrecker, making his face grow even hotter. He could only muster up a grunt as a response, feeling flustered.

Omega waited for them in front of the Marauder.

“I told you to stay inside.“ Hunter shouted towards the girl, slightly irritated. „I‘m fine. I got bored so I wanted to at least wait outside for you.“ she yelled back. Then, her glance shifted from Hunter to the hostage her brothers were bringing with them. Her eyes widened, jaw dropped. 

Everybody stopped in their tracks, expecting the worst from Omega‘s facial expression. A ambush, maybe. But her eyes rested on their acquired target.

“Woah, is that Mr Beast??????“

[solitary-star]

I haven’t posted on here in a little while, so here’s a collection of some sketchbook doodles! Most of these are, as per usual, related to Cryptid Sightings by @naffeclipse <3

[crusty-chronicles]

hi!! i hope you're doing well!! i was hoping if you could write an (platonic) airhead headcanon for gon from hxh?? you dont have to if youre not comfortable w writing it!

i really enjoy reading your works and i hope you have a lovely day!!!

Ah yes, another chaotic crack fic coming up.

BONUS AIRHEADED S/O HEADCANNONS: Gon (HxH)

For starters, there is not a single thought to be had between the two of you

Heads empty with static

You tripped and fell?

He's stumbling on your body and toppling over.

Gon got stung by a bee?

You're fighting the entire hive, only to end up having the worst allergic reaction of your life.

You wanna play in the rain without a jacket?

The both of you end up with colds the next day.

Gon can't do math and you can't read or write, so it balances out.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Poor Killua is the one who has to put up with both of you

"No Y/n. Eating a glow stick will not make you radioactive and shiny." "No Gon. You can't bake a cookie in one minute just because you set the oven to 1500 degrees."

His two best friends are complete idiots and he can't do anything about it.

But on the bright side, you and Gon are endless entertainment.

You most likely met during the Hunter's Exam.

He and Killua were surprised to see another kid taking the exam, especially one that was keeping up just as well

Leading Gon to ask his famous icebreaker question.

"Why do you wanna become a hunter?"

And immediately your face scrunched up in confusion.

"A what? I thought we were all playing a game."

"But you had to fill out an application." Killua pointed out, very suspicious of your answer.

"Really? Cuz I just snuck in."

Both boys leave it at that because #1, a new friend. And #2 you've got to be really skilled to make it this far.

Also keeps you far away from Hisoka

Like he legit fears for your life and will not let you fight him.

He's seen that clown up close and personal and doesn't want you to get hurt or, knowing hisoka, worse.

"Hisoka gave me a lollipop and told me to meet him outside."

"SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW!"

Now while Gon's ditzy, he's nowhere near as clueless as you.

You're lactose intolerant?

Then why are you downing cheese sticks like you're never gonna eat again?

I'm sorry? You're allergic to shellfish?????

WHY ARE STILL EATING GNAWING ON A CRAB LEG!?!? STOP YOUR FACE IS TURNING RED!!!!

Please stop jumping into lakes to catch fish. 🥺 

You're gonna get sick and Gon wants to show you how to fish 

There is no babying

You ARE the babies.

Buuuut, Gon will mother hen you after every fight because you're ten times as reckless as him.

You got stabbed once during a fight, and instead of moving back, you pushed yourself further into the blade just to punch your attacker.

Which resulted in a huge lecture from Killua while Gon tried to stop the bleeding.

"If I see a light, should I go towards it?"

"NO!"

Tbh Gon really doesn't have any nicknames for his friends. At most he'll just introduce you as one of his best friends.

He doesn't have it in him to be mean spirited towards you like a certain assassin. 

Has a habit of encouraging your bad ideas instead of shutting them down.

Make no mistake, he knows they're awful ideas, but you're trying.

And Aunt Mito says it's the effort that counts.

Speaking of Mito 👀👀👀

She adores you

Surprisingly, you're very helpful in the kitchen.

Just not around knives, which she realized after you sliced through the cutting board.

She also likes how responsible you make Gon.

He's more observant and careful when you're around.

To put it simply, he loves you and Killua with his whole heart.

Two of the most important people he'd do just about anything for.

MASTERLIST

[kalza]

Just wanted to do some more fancier lighting practice, so have some Cadber. This was actually a lot of fun to do, and I'm quite proud with the results

Man, I'm bad at descriptions.....

[arjengelly]

I’m gonna put this out there now… I’ve been shipping them in my Non-Cursed Eda AU (that I’ll eventually write 💀)

Don’t hate me 🙀

Camila was too scared to move on after all these years but Luz assures her that it’s ok and that she has Manny’s blessing. (Luz got a chance to meet with Manny in her brief visit to the afterlife. There is nothing he wants more than for his family to be happy, even when he himself is gone.) Yet nothing could prepare Luz for the person her mother took a fancy to.

Olly Porter to Meadow Park: “Our family tree is so jacked up… I can’t tell if Luz is my cousin or my aunt at this point…!”

[sinisterexaggerator]

Bounty Hunter B-sides Masterlist, as promised!

*The following fictions are based on crackship and AU scenarios that are not considered to be a part of my "canon" in terms of Tales of (Rebel) Scum and Villainy, but are separate entries that are meant to be funny or out of character in some ways, or ideas that I am unable to fit into the series to make it make sense but still want to write regardless.

I. Best in the Bunch: Bane pisses Ohnaka off by making fun of his ritual magicks. He brings flowers by way of an apology.

II. Daimyo Bane: Boba and Bane switch places at the end of The Book of Boba Fett for a short AU where Bane is the Daimyo of Tatooine.

III. Love Letters (headcanon)