#“you sly dog you got me monologuing”

[befuddled-calico-whump]

Total $hit$how: The Tables Turn

in which Joy sorta gets asked out

cw: adult/crude language, manipulative leader

previous // Masterlist //

×~×~×

Joy was probably driving way too fast.

She couldn't help it. Knowing that Kaius was out there, stuck who-knew-where---and Vic wasn't gonna let them help---really lit a fire under her ass. If the other two noticed the high speeds, they didn't comment on it. Jericho was staring out the window, and Benji was squeezed beside her, chewing on his thumbnail.

“I remember where we turned,” he mumbled as they entered the city limits and the truck began to slow down. “We had to go on foot for a ways, but I should be able to pick out the spot they got him.”

It was dark. Joy didn't even know what day of the week it was at this point, but it didn't look like many of the shops were open, save a bar or two.

“Then what?” she asked. “How do we find him?”

“We…” Benji trailed off, shaking his head.

“We trigger the alarm again,” Jericho answered, eyes still locked on the window. “One of us can act as bait while the other two hang back. Tail whoever comes to take them.”

“And if it's Finley?”

“Then we should've been careful what we wished for,” Joy muttered. An irrational part of her wondered if this was all part of Vic's plan. Get one of them kidnapped to teach the others a lesson about pushing back against his decrees. Well… maybe it wasn't that irrational.

“I'll play the bait,” Benji said.

Joy gave him a sidelong glance. “You sure?”

“Yeah. I mean, they already saw me. Maybe it'll be fun?” He didn't sound convinced.

“Okay,” Jer said. “We'll have our eyes on you. Promise.”

Benji nodded, hands folding in his lap. “Fuck, I hope we find him before Vic catches us.”

Joy'd had similar thoughts the whole ride down. Her optimistic side wanted to believe their handler would be impressed with a successful rescue, but a much bigger part of her doubted it. Was it even possible for them to pull this off without Vic knowing? It'd be real hard to convince him Manak came back on his own, especially if the three of them were cut up from a scuffle. 

And what happened if he did catch them? Would he kick them off the mission? This was probably the best test for pushing boundaries they were gonna get. At least it served the bigger picture. If they could pull this off, maybe there were other rules to be bent. Avenues for doing it their way instead of Vic’s.

“Up ahead,” Benji said, pointing at a brick building. “There's an alley just past there. That's where it is.”

Joy slowed to a roll, eyeing the spot as they passed it. “It's embedded in the wall?”

“Yeah, behind a… a fake brick plating or something.”

Neat. The plating was probably wired into the building itself to get the signal out; either that, or the receiver was pretty close by. Was it inlaid in the building's plans? Or maybe whoever’d built it just snuck out night after night, chipping away a secret compartment. Ballsy of them, if that was the—

“Uh, we might be a bit far?”

“Shit, sorry.” Joy hit the brakes. Probably a little too hard. The other two lurched forward in their seats.

“Okay,” Jericho said, rubbing his neck. “Benji, you can hop out here. We'll swing the truck around and keep a lookout.”

Benji gave several quick nods, but didn't say anything. Or move as Jericho unbuckled and hopped out.

“Hey, you ready?”

He shrugged. “I don't know,” he said, a nervous laugh following the words out. “I guess… easier said than done, playing bait. I mean, I've done it before, but that just means I know it's really fucking scary.”

Joy hit the release on her own seatbelt. “Then I'll do it.”

“Huh? No, you don't have to. I just need to get my nerve up—”

“I'll do it,” she repeated. “Jer, take the wheel.”

“I'm sorry,” Benji said. “I know I'm a coward, I just—”

“Benji.” She clapped his shoulder. “It's cool. Just watch my back, okay?” She was curious about the alarm system anyway.

The truck pulled away as she made her way toward the alley, cursing the dim light and her neglect to ask exactly where on the wall the panel was. Oh well, too late now. She ran her fingers along the bricks, feeling for any difference in structure with her nails. A few areas gave her a false positive, yielding nothing when she tried to pry them backwards. 

When she reached the definitely more obvious panel, she felt a little dumb for trying the others. Joy popped it off, a grin crossing her face as a little green light inside began to flash.

Mission accomplished, now for that side quest. She lined her face up with the compartment, squinting inside. Transmitter, motion sensor… ah, looked like it had light shift detection too, maybe as a backup. The wires disappeared into the wall of the compartment.

Wired into the building itself. First guess. Joy grinned. She almost didn't hear the hum of an engine getting closer.

Right. The other half of the mission. Eh, she was supposed to get grabbed anyway, Joy thought, not bothering to drop her focus from the little hidden setup. The receiver was small, and who she assumed were its creators had gotten here really quick, so their hideout had to be nearby. Either that or the transmitter was running on a mega power source. Though it could also be a combination—

Someone cleared their throat behind her, and Joy turned to see a tall man with a spiky purple faux-hawk, hair shining neon against the headlights of a van.

“Ah. Hi,” she said. Weird. She figured she'd be grabbed by now.

“Whatcha doin’ there then?” the man asked.

“Checking out your system,” Joy said. “The hidey hole is neat, and I was curious.” Mission. “Guy named Vic told me about this spot,” she added, hoping that was enough to get the ball rolling.

“Right.” The man shrugged. “I was afraid of that.” He seized the handle of the van’s sliding door and jerked it open, inclining his head towards it. “Alright. Ah, you can just hop in.”

Joy stared at him. If this was how they fucking got Kaius…

“Ah, shit. Wait, my bad. Manak said you'd be good with it. You're on his team, yeah? Finley just wants to chat.”

Well well. How the tables turned. Joy simply gave the man a shrug and climbed inside.

“Oh, we'll grab your friends too,” he said as he climbed into the passenger seat. “The more the merrier.”

×~×~×

“Thought there was five of you?” The driver, a woman who'd introduced herself as Duckie, said.

“There are.” Jericho had adapted to the sort-of-being-kidnapped thing really quickly. Maybe it was just a skill that you got once you became a parent. “The fifth person… well, it's just us tonight.”

Yeah, because no way would Harbor stick out his neck for this. Joy didn't even want to try to ask after their last proposed rescue.

“Well, Finley will be glad to talk to any of you.”

“Didn't Kaius tell her enough?” Benji asked, still hunched in a nervous pose. He took the kidnapping a lot worse than Jer.

“It isn't about what you know,” the third passenger, a man who hadn't bothered to toss out a name, put in. “It's what we know.”

Ominous, but she liked the sound of that. She was already dying to know more about any of the mission details. If Finley could offer that, willingly, Joy was ready for it. She could only hope the new information was more of a blessing than a curse. But then... Look at their luck so far.

As she'd assumed, it wasn't a long ride before the van was pulling into some oversized garage.

The three of them were ushered out of the van, through an open bay area, and into some side office while Jazz went and got Finley. The place was far from homey, covered in dust, and full of junk. Probably not their usual hideout.

Despite the gentle kidnapping, Joy still let out a sigh of relief when they found an intact Kaius in the other side of the office door, reading a dusty manual for what looked like a hydraulic press, a half-empty plastic water bottle on the desk beside him.

The guy was a bit of an arrogant ass, but it hadn't taken Joy long to accept him as their arrogant ass.

“Thank fuck you're okay!”

Kaius was stiff as a board as Benji’s arms wrapped around him, but under the irritated look, Joy could almost swear she saw the hint of a smile.

“A congratulatory handshake would have sufficed.”

“Ah, right, sorry.”

“So,” Joy said, taking a seat in a rusting foldout chair. “Where are we sitting on a scale from ‘hostage’ to ‘secretly in charge’?”

“A good distance from the latter,” Kaius replied. “But we'll be free to go once Finley gives you her spiel.”

“Oh?”

“Allegedly.”

“Then why are you still here?” Jericho asked, leaning on the desk.

“Wasn't convinced he wouldn't just yap to Vic.”

Joy's head swiveled towards the doorway, where a lean woman with a highlighter-yellow mullet was standing.

Kaius seemed unsurprised by her entrance. "Speak of the devil."

The woman shrugged. "Speak of the yapper."

“What was your plan?” Joy asked, folding her arms to match Finley's stance. “Keep him here forever?”

“He was on the verge of convincing me otherwise when the alarm hit.” She cocked her head. “Now I just have more people to share the good news with.”

In the corner of the room, Benji looked like he was trying to make himself smaller. “So is it actual good news? Because the way you said it…”

“No, you're right. I lied. It's shitty news, but it's the truth, and that's better than anything Vic’s feeding you.”

“What do you want for it?” Joy asked, raising an eyebrow. She'd dealt with this type before; friendly strangers with something slippery about them, always swore they had something you wanted, but it always came with a price. 

“Only your undivided attention.”

Ah yes, the one thing she had a hard time giving. Joy glanced back at Jericho, then Kaius, who gave a single nod. The gesture seemed to be enough of an invitation for Finley.

“I was Vic’s first pick,” she said, stuffing her hands in her pockets and throwing a grin into the room. 

Vic's first… he knew her? Was that why..? Joy bit the inside of her cheek, trying not to let any surprise cross her face. Shock and awe seemed to be exactly what the woman wanted, and Joy didn't want to give her that satisfaction. Not yet.

“I used to work for Rotorworx covertly,” Finley continued. “Ferried supplies back and forth for their batshit science projects. And I guess somewhere along the line, things got a little too batshit. The government took notice and didn't like what they saw. Now,” she swatted her bangs out of her eyes. “That was where it got complicated. See, the DoD has a contract with Rotorworx. Uses them for weapons advancements and aircraft shit. It's not a relationship they wanna fuck up, but they can't let RW keep playing with fire the way they have been. Because it's bigger than a little fire, a little lab disaster. They're…” She snapped her fingers a few times. “well, they're—”

“Fingerfucking reality?” Benji offered, and Finley pointed at him with a smirk.

“They sure are. And as you can imagine, the Department of Energy had something to say about that.”

“Then why didn't they just shut them down?” Jericho asked, shifting in place.

“Oh y’know. Privatized company, partnerships with various three-letter-agencies, high value assets, billionaires,” Finley replied, counting off each on a finger. “It gets really convoluted really fast. The DoE tried to have a chat, but their CEO wasn't having it. So they figured, why ruin a perfectly good relationship when they could just hire someone to break their new toy?”

“So they hired Vic,” Joy finished.

“Bingo. And Vic tried to hire me. He wanted to build a specialized team and needed my expertise, or so he said. I mean, can't blame him. I'm probably the best pick for an op like this.” Finley shrugged. “But I did my own digging. Poked around, listened in on a few closed-door conversations, found out that yeah, they want the Reality Cage destroyed, but they also want someone to pin the crime on.” She leaned into the doorframe, fixing each of them with a look before continuing. “And that's where you come in, sweethearts.”

It took a moment for the words to settle, split-seconds of denials and excuses and justifications flashing through Joy’s head like a firing squad. Vic needed them, they had specialized skills, he'd made a deal that benefited everyone, why trick them like that?

But Finley was right, wasn't she? As much as Joy wanted to tell herself that no, she was inclined to believe this stranger over Vic because she was biased, because Vic was a cold bastard who clearly didn't give a damn about them, it was enough. 

Vic didn't give a shit about them. Finley didn't stand to gain anything from telling them, at least as far as Joy could figure. And worst of all, this was the final puzzle piece to make it all make sense. Why else would Vic hire a bunch of random criminals he had no reason to trust? Why else would he put them through weeks of training to do what he and Sahota could've done in one night?

It was all a con, and she should've known better. Of course they weren't being set loose after the mission. It had seemed legit enough when the offer was first made, but had that just been her desperation talking? At the time, the choices she'd been presented with were to take Vic’s offer or land her happy ass in prison. Guess either option had always ended at the same destination.

“We appreciate the warning,” Jericho said, his expression nothing short of troubled. Jer… he had a lot more stake in this than any of them. All he wanted was to see his kid again, but Vic, that son of a bitch…

“Why did you tell us?” Joy said. “Why not let us take the fall?”

“Good old fashioned chivalry ain’t dead yet,” Finley said. “And I wanted to let you suckers know you're off the hook.”

Benji's eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

“I pulled a few strings and got my guys signed on as a contingency team. If Vic fails, the DoE is sending us out. Only difference is, we're not playing scapegoat.”

“And they're letting you?”

“The prison scheme was Vic’s plan,” Finley answered. “Five nobodies with criminal history, caught breaking into Rotorworx with intent to steal and pawn and break things. The poor Reality Cage was caught in the crossfire, bringing a year of sketchy-ass progress to a close. So sad.”

“Then why would he bother with us? He could be in and out without a trace.”

“Does Vic really seem like the type to neglect covering his ass? He's not gonna risk it.”

“And you are?”

“Sweetheart, I am all about risk.” Her teeth flashed in a fresh grin, and Joy forgot her next point. Fuck.

“The sum of it is, we're free to go,” Kaius said.

“Exactly. No guilt, no betrayal from old man Shepard, no cops. Pick up where you left off and don't look back.”

“What about Sahota?”

Finley raised an eyebrow, squinting at Jericho. “Who?”

“Sahota,” Jer repeated. “Vic’s partner?”

She shrugged. “I didn't know Vic had a partner. Everything I dredged up pinned him as a solo operator.”

Joy exchanged a look with the others. “Does… do you know anyone who would know about him? If he's in on this?”

“Vic’s a shadowy bastard. There's a lot about him no one knows. Including what company he keeps.”

Was Sahota in on this? She didn't want to believe he could be, but he was just as secretive as Vic. He'd given them the chance to win a chat with Finley, which could've blown the whole lie wide open, but had he known it was a losing game from the start? Even after Jericho came out on top, Vic hadn't honored the bet. 

Maybe he did know. But maybe he didn't get a say. Vic called the shots in their partnership; in their relationship.

“Is that all then?” Joy asked, slouching in her seat. Free to go or not, there was a big fucking mess in their wake, and she didn't know if they should do something about it. She didn't know if they could.

“That's all. Run away, or go back to Vic. I did my moral duty. It's in your hands now.”

This was it then. They could just leave. Fuck off and slip back into the lives they'd left. Would it be safe? Probably not, but none of them had really been safe from the start. 

“What do you think Vic will do?” Benji asked as Finley left the room, closing the door between them. “If we leave, I mean.”

“We just have to get far enough away that he won't find us,” Joy answered, uncertain even as she said the words. What would Vic do? What would Sahota do?

“What about Harbor?” Jericho said, and Joy cursed under her breath.

“Harbor has a hard-on for Vic,” she muttered. “I'm sure he'll be fine.”

Jericho didn't look convinced. “You want to leave him there?”

Ah fuck, she couldn't handle the disappointed dad look. Jer was a master of it. “I didn't… I mean, no, I don't want Harbor to take the fall or anything. But he's cozy with Vic, isn't he?”

Jericho grimaced. “He… I think there'll be trouble for him if he stays.”

“Because of Sahota?” Honestly, if their trainer wanted to kick his ass again, Harbor had it coming.

“Because of Vic.” Jer sighed, rubbing his face. “It's been a long night. I… I talked to Harbor. Just before Benji came in. Vic was there when he hurt Sahota. I think… I think Vic made him do it.”

Fuck. Joy bit her lip. Fuck. What was one more thing she didn't want to believe? From the start, she'd known their relationship went deeper than business partners. They loved together for fuck's sake. Sahota had been there for twelve years. Why would Vic encourage that?

As much as she didn't want to, it was just one more thing that was easy to believe.

“We need to go back for him," Jer said. "Maybe we can convince Sahota to come too.”

“You think he would?” Kaius piped up, brows creasing.

“I think he should have the option. Look, you all can run. You should run. I'll go back to the compound, talk to them both about this—”

“No,” Kaius said. “They will know we were gone by the time we return. If it's only you, I'm not certain Vic will give you another opportunity to leave. He still needs his scapegoat.”

“He knows it was Finley who got you,” Joy cut him off. “Either way, he'll be suspicious.”

“So we'll lie,” Kaius said, getting to his feet. “Tell him it was Finley, but we don’t believe a word she said.”

“It won't work. He'll see through it.”

“He only needs to buy it for one day,” Kaius said. “Once night falls, we'll be gone. For good. If Harbor has any sense, he'll be with us.”

“And if he doesn't?”

“He's a free man. It's his funeral to plan.”

Jericho stepped in closer, closing the circle they'd unconsciously formed. “It's worth a try, but I'm not the best liar.”

“Ruebin is,” Kaius said, and Benji perked up beside him. “I'm sure he can convince Vic long enough to give us time.”

“One last mission,” Joy said wryly, and Jericho cracked a smile.

“Guess we should hit the road.”

Joy hopped up, pushing the door open. Finley was still outside, slouching against a shipping container like a freckled scarecrow.

“I guess I did tell you you could go back to Vic,” she said, eyes glittering as she fixed them on Joy. “Didn't think you'd reach that conclusion so soon, but props for the heroism.”

Joy raised an eyebrow. “Another closed-door conversation?”

“It's a bad habit.” Her arm swept out, gesturing for the warehouse exit. “I won't stand in your way. Best of luck tricking that sly bastard.”

Joy sighed. “I guess… thanks. You saved our asses.”

“Only for you to jump back into the frying pan, but I did try.” Her smile faded for a moment, eyes holding the tiniest bit of seriousness as she looked at Joy. “Well hey, I can't blame you either. I'd do the same for any of my idiots.” She reached out her hand, pressing a piece of paper against her hand. Joy closed her fingers around it, looking to Finley for an explanation.

“If said sly bastard gives you too much trouble, give me a call," she said in answer. "I'll see what I can do. And if he doesn't, and you wanna get dinner sometime…” She winked. “It's a versatile offer.”

Joy tried to keep herself from flushing as she gave a quick nod, squeezing the paper in her fist. “Yeah. Yup. Uh, thanks. Again.”

Dinner, huh? She hadn't given much thought to after, and they still had a long and bumpy road ahead, but… she could do dinner. Probably. She had questions about that alarm system of theirs anyway.

The hard part was behind them. Now time for the harder part. The Harbor part. The guy was a dickhead, but if Jer’s assumptions were true, he didn't deserve to be left in the dust. They could get him out of Vic’s clutches and part ways, easy peasy. If they could get him out of Vic's clutches.

What if they couldn't convince him? What if he just ran off to snitch the first chance he got? They'd have to be ready for a quick exit. And Sahota…

She didn't know how they'd convince Sahota. It was a dangerous bridge to cross. If he knew, if he'd been lying to them all this time, the game would be up. The end. But if he was in the dark too, didn't he deserve to know? Didn't he deserve the chance to quit a job that would probably get him killed one of these days? To leave behind a partner who would let that happen?

The four of them squeezed into the truck’s cab and Joy started her up. They'd walk that line when they came to it, and damned if she wouldn't give it her all, but right now, they had an hour to get their story straight, an hour to prepare to face Vic. No sleep, plenty of new, exciting, dooming information. 

The shitshow was about to begin. She just hoped they were all ready for it.

×~×~×

tag list:

@theonewithallthefixations , @violets-whumperflies ,

@whump-me , @pirefyrelight , @soheavyaburden , @snakebites-and-ink , @whumpsday ,

@kixngiggles , @echo-goes-aaa , @whumpcateyes , @clickerflight ,

@sodacreampuff , @starfields08000 , @neverthelass , @melpomenelamusa

[polisena-art]

I’m jumping in to submit a request! I love it when people draw one of the caballeros cooking. I think they all have their strengths and weaknesses. Personally I feel like Panchito is a dream in the kitchen. Part of me wants to make a joke about Donald burning water but he can probably at least make a good fucking sandwich. Zé…. Man I have no idea. He is a mystery to me.

I ended up rambling about headcanons OTL but! I’d love to see you draw a cab of your choice cooking or something like that!

OK SO,, Zé has been shown cooking in his comics and apparently he's pretty decent at it (his nephews do like his food) but, as everything in those comics, it all depends if it's gonna be relevant to the plot.

José might not be a chef but I'm sure he can make the Brazilian classics like rice and beans, strogonoff (the Brazilian remix), pasta with sausages, farofa de ovo, canja, bake a cake AND OF COURSE he can work a grill for churrasquinho of whatever mystery meat he can put his hands on. He doesn't do much cooking because it's "ARGH... work", but for his nephews and when it comes to showing his friends what Rio's cuisine is like, he will do it. Also, I think if he's feeling truly inspired and has people helping him, he can make a traditional feijoada, just... don't criticize it. like, EVER.

Traditional Feijoada is supposed to be rich, it's not supposed to be spicy/hot!

[pomefioredove]

i personally think vil can be shipped with SO many characters (including, but limited to, leona, azul, and idia) just because of his perception of beauty. you’d think with how obsessed he is with his looks he’d be vain and cruel and think beauty is the conventionally attractive features society agreed upon. but he isn’t!! and not a lot of people know that. (my take! :) vil finds beauty not in the conventionally attractive features many others do, he finds beauty in doing the best you absolutely can. in taking care of yourself. and so many of the twst characters do not do that. it’s why yuu is long overdue for an overblot 😭 the characters i listed earlier. (my take!! again! :) leona is super unmotivated to take care of himself and shows a lot of signs of depression!! he stopped giving anything any amount of effort until the spelldrive tournament (which obviously went… not so well) because he felt hopeless and basically?? worthless,, both azul and idia have a low self esteem, i don’t know too much about them (on. book 3… im just a pro listener to my friend’s lore ramblings) so i won’t give my take yet! yuu…….. yuu is…!!!! tries their best of course but. it’s kind of hard to. take care of yourself AND a cat AND all of your friends(?) AND your literal principal at the same time. and also try to have that principal not hang the fact of ‘you’ being poor and having no recourses over your head every time you try and say no when he asks you to help him out with something ridiculous that should not be your problem at all. maybe that was a little specific but. yuu’s been through it is what im getting at. and they are hardly appreciated enough as they should be. now. VIL. VIL would appreciate yuu to the absolute best of his ability. and more. in this essay i will

ANON.

ENOUGHHHHHH GGGGRRGRGR I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABOIT THIS EARLIER

yuu is so overlooked as a character, I know they're supposed to be a vessel to project onto but that's a whole Guy to me. a whole Person. like there's so many traits that canon gives them. and one of them is "motherly". whether that's WILLING or not depends on the player, but everyone in CANON!!! makes constant comments about how grim is like yuu's little baby and how yuu essentially takes emotional care of so many students. in the recent event ace said something like "there's crowley's official beast tamer" in reference to how yuu just. takes care of these chaotic little things.

vil is literally the only other character who plays a similar role in the story.

... cause chars like trey and lilia are almost there, but distinctly different in their roles, while vil is THE mother.

one of the things that elevates vilyuu to otp levels for me is that vil is one of the only characters in game that treats yuu with respect, and as an equal. I like to think that he kind of admires yuu, and almost looks up to them in a way, for all they're capable of. yuu having not overblotted or melted down (yet) is probably something vil finds fascinating (and kinda worrying), because he knows them well and he KNOWS how much shit they go through. I'd imagine he's almost envious of the self control they have

and I think they're the closest out of everyone in the overblot gang. yes that includes malleus idc. literally everyone in this game is so fucking mean to yuu but vil isn't.

he canonically has such a huge soft spot for the prefect, platonic or romantic or whatever, that's just. so different from what he shows others. to me

[zackstriker]

Their recent inability to shut up about sex is making me craaazy because it’s giving “we’re not having sex right now so we’re incredibly sexually frustrated and will not shut up about it!”. It’s a more recent thing too, not their typical sporadic comment but literally every video and occasional tweet and reply has had sex and positions and top and bottom since June. Idk maybe it was Dan’s birthday maybe it’s the summer weather but they cannot shut up about Phil being a bottom and their love of sex.

ohhhh that’s an interesting take… with phil’s medical stuff that definitely could be the case. I firmly believe there’s truth in every joke (universally, not just w dnp) so i could see that.

i assumed its more of the boiling frogs theory. i think they’re purposely including lots of romantic/sexual moments within videos a) because they know we will eat it up (and we do), but also b) because they have the freedom to do so and there’s a sense of reclamation (kinda like when baby gays only talk about being gay because they actually can for the first time) and c) to either let us know they’re together without explicitly saying it or to prepare us for a hard launch post tour (dan did similar stuff to soft launch the gay before hard launching it after II).

They’ve been doing so much subliminal couple-y stuff lately like the bride+groom look in dnp dress each other and the matching shirts in todays video. i used to not think there would ever be a hard launch (i think they’re together but i thought they would want to keep something to themselves bc of how much the internet took from them) but they keep pulling more and more shenanigans that makes me think they might just be boiling us for the hard launch after all.

It’s interesting though because you can see moments when they still limit what they say bc of how it could be perceived, like in the video today when Phil changed the lyrics of paparazzi into a joke bc he didn’t wanna say the “i’ll follow you until you love me” part out loud. Similarly there’s been a few jump cuts in recent videos where they have been laughing at a joke that was seemingly cut.

I also must admit i did not participate in top/bottom discourse or anything back before the hiatus, so my lore knowledge in that particular regard is somewhat lacking in historical context.

All that being said, I do love a good bottom phil joke tho.

[starredforlife]

ok top five scenes from the kung fu panda universe (any of the movies, shorts, shows, etc). could be fight scenes, character moments, etc etc so on and so forth

FERN THIS IS SO HARD. FOR ME. UHM !!!!

ESCAPE FROM GONGMEN TOWER please watch it right now please please it's such an underrated scene musically and visually. this is the scene where tigress catches a flaming arrow and that's the exact moment i became a homosexual. vic history. it's also the scene where we see her chops as a leader of the five and the way she's fit into this role to balance out Po so well. and also all her potential as who she could've been, if she'd been chosen to be the dragon warrior herself. but she's not.

MUSICIAN'S VILLAGE I LOVE this scene the way it introduces, to the audience, that the score is going to play a part in the fight scenes of this movie is absolutely magnificent. and the way we get reintroduced to the furious five's + po's fighting style, and it reminds us immediately that they are formidable--and then sets up the inciting incident of the plot with so much mystery (and we see the 2d animation style again too, which has always represented po's inner subconscious. WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THAT FOR THE FOURTH MOVIE. whatever)

i would say the bridge fight (kfp1) and i adore that scene but i have to say, i really love the performances, the ambience, the color boards, the sound effects, and the emotional impact of shifu and tai lung's fight in the 3rd act more. i love when kfp actually invested time in its non-main protag characters. tai lung was an absolutely fascinating villain and this scene just rounds out his character so well

The entirety of the secrets of the scroll short film oh my god i love that one so much. teenage tigress. my baby girl.

FUCK okay and then the fireworks factory (2nd movie) where Po confronts Shen about his past. And he gets shot with a cannon and Tigress doesn't get to him in time. breaks my heart every time. i'm going to include the scene where Tigress and Po fight right before that in the jail too bc the musical score called "Fireworks Factory" starts with THEIR HUG. AND IT ENDS WITH HER RUNNING TO CATCH HIM. AND FAILING. MY BAKA LIFE !!!!! i don't even ship them anymore like i did when i was 14 i mostly just love tigress but their platonic relationship is v important to me. i have to include their hug bc that did irreparable damage to me as a tween. sorry the quality of the first vid is so ass. their relationship in the entire 2nd movie is so good i could write a whole analysis on it probably. it's paining me physically to not include their earlier boat scene talk.

this is also the scene where tigress snarls at the gorilla and that changed my brain chemistry forever.

i love the entire second movie this is so hard for me AUGHHHGHGH okay quick honorary mention: i also love the scene where we see shen fight the three masters (rhino, croc, ox). that quick fight scene is SO well executed. the dialogue and the performances are incredible. i used to have every line of dialogue of this movie memorized and especially loved reciting this scene (skip to 1:10)

and then if i had to pick a moment from the third one it's the one where oogway's statue gets wrecked at the jade palace. it lands emotionally very well for a scene that could have easily been mishandled too comedically or too quickly. like it still gives me chills. and i'm not even gonna touch on the character animation/acting of tigress and shifu here bc GOD. kai's theme does rock also!!! AND i LOVE the colors in this movie SO MUCH holy fuck

and then a minor detail from the first one is i love how the characters act with each other, namely the five and shifu. they clearly have a history and/or comradery with each other. shifu undoing the nerve damage tai lung did in a way specific to each of his students stands out to me in particular.

1 and 2 are masterpieces to me and i have my Things about the 3rd one but overall, a beautiful trilogy. i wish the 4th one didn't exist im killing it with my bare hands. vic hate movie? vic murder it. 5th rule of the streets.

[konjkitkatty]

I so agree with your goat cult headcanons!!

It would make extra sense for Goat's followers to be capable and powerful, as Shamura and by extension the Goat are gods of War/Knowledge, and not Death - meaning the bishops of the old faith could just send an army of cultists to invade the goat cult grounds and kill everyone (possibly goat too), and it would take a god of War/Knowledge a much longer time to gather/revive followers after a catastrophe like that, than it would take Lamb, a god of Death (one of the reasons I think the cult doesn't get attacked in COTL, there's not much of a point - the lamb resurrects almost immediately and can bring back as many followers as they would like, given enough bones)

One thing Goat can do to combat this is train and teach their followers to be able to defend themselves while they're out on crusades - I'd imagine a Cult of The Goat game would have some military management aspects to it lol

(Sorry for the yapping I have so many brainworms for this au and goat in general)

NO COME BACK NO PLEASE DONT APOLOGIZE TALK TO ME ABOUT MY AU DONT GO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[citrine-elephant]

last reblog:

three good leon screams... or uh, close enough to three! good things always come in threes. i think?

-physical agony. dude loves to whimper, so why not cry out at a sudden bone snap. or like. anything? all those whimpers and moans and huffs and puffs. guy's a screamer, ain't he? maybe. wink. w i n k. WINK

+ mental torment, mental torrmenntt. needd to mentally torment himm. make him think his friends are dead. convince him he actually did all those murders because uhhh he pressed the wrong button or some shit. idk. aough.

-> for help. he doesn't seem like the type to want to cry out for help. he'd rather deal with the problem on his own, right? and in re6, when he goes down? the way he begs for help sounds so... defeated. ashamed maybe. nevermind the whole "if you don't pick me up before this timer runs out then im gonna die" thing

+ to help someone else when he can't. someone who's hurt worse than him, but he can't reach them and someone needs to help them omfg someone plEASE-

-> genuine fear. i don't fuckin know what would startle this man and i want to concoct something in my fics. drugs? yeah that works. a good crutch for this kinda thing. mentally a little out of it, that's a starter.

but with leon. genuine fear would probably be due to someone else getting hurt, especially someone he loves and cares for. but maybe, if they get the re5 jill treatment lol-

[thinkin-bout-milgram]

Episode 32: The Reality of Art Students

Disclaimer: I don’t take credit for the translations. These are from the official Milgram account and put on the comic for a more friendly viewing experience.

-mercury

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

Thinking about Player raising Xehanort... How Xehanort never felt Hatred, Jealousy, or Doubt while living with them... How Player tried their best but couldn't be there for the crucial moments of Xehanort's fate... Do you think Player feels guilty, wherever they are, for their part in raising a monster? Or are they one of the only people capable of loving the monster Xehanort became?

I like to believe that Player loved him the whole way through. And not just because Xehanort was one of Ephemera’s descendants or because they presumed him to be the child of destiny.

For whatever reason (which ml hopefully reveals to us), Player chose to raise Xehanort on their own and keep him safe, even if it meant keeping them both isolated for over a decade. Was Player a perfect parent? No, but they were clearly determined to do what they believed would be best for him. They sat him down in their lap, told him stories night after night, making sure this young child was not only entertained, but as prepared as he could be for what he’d inevitably encounter on his life’s journey.

I think Player would feel guilty if they saw what Xehanort became, if they saw that they were wrong about his fate in the end…and depending on the circumstances, they may even feel guilty for taking him away from Scala, from his mother, thinking that he could’ve lived a completely different life, had he stayed.

But I really like what you said. Xehanort ends up doing a lot of awful things, but I don’t think they would’ve stopped loving him for even a second, no matter how far he went down his dark road. For better or for worse, Xehanort stays autonomous, clever, and perseverant his whole life, despite all the doubts and challenges he faces. I don’t think it’s too farfetched to credit Player with at least giving him that solid foundation. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, y’know?

Anyway, my point is…at the end of the day, Xehanort is Player’s child. Of course they’ll always be capable of not just loving him, but loving him unconditionally, in spite of everything he’s done. Because that’s just the kind of person and parent Player is.

[squids-comics]

Now this guy gets it!

[god-of-this-new-blog]

2

2 a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

SO. I personally believe that L and Light switch often depending on mood and what suits a given encounter etc. Penetration does not domination make. I will now provide some various situations and lawlight encounters worth considering:

L riding Light. He’s harsh about it, pulling Light’s hair. Light comes too quickly, but L won’t stop. Light, over-stimulated to the point of tears, is begging L to get off of him or to finish already. Light is kicking the sheets. L has his hands pinned to the mattress.

Light—who is younger than L and has a bit more stamina—bottoming for L and working him to the bone. Light is still technically begging, technically under L’s control, but very quickly it is starting to seem like Light is holding the reins during this encounter.

Light has been mouthing off, so L gets his boy under a desk, one leg over his shoulder, hollow of L’s knee pinning him in place. However the dynamics change pretty quickly when L realizes that Light is making a point of being an impossible tease. It ends with L sitting with his head against his keyboard, cursing at Light who is still working, agonizingly slow, between L’s knees under the desk.

L bottoming for Light, but keeping him collared and leashed all the while. If Light slows or takes him too harshly, L need only tug on the leash in his fist to issue correction.

Anyway. I think strict sub bottom and top dom is boring. Sue me.

[polisena-art]

rosinha x liu and zé x edu like that one two bi exes meme (please tell me you know what im talking about LMAO)

LMAO I DO!! JDFJNDJN yes- literally- damn Also, just a headcanon of mine but, while I could see Rosinha and Liu having a lasting relationship I kinda can't see Edu and Zé working out in the end. I think Edu would smash it and leave it if you know what I mean...

[raytorosaurus]

hey what was that thing you said about hang ‘em high and 2 guitars fucking each other. i’ve been listening on repeat and i’m hearing it but now i can’t find the post

you may be thinking of these two wonderful posts by @weaponsofclairvoyance which come directly after one another for very good reason lmaoo.

when i reblogged the first one before i saw the second, hang em high was one of the first songs i mentioned, and i've literally used both "dogfight" and "trainwreck" to describe that song before...and those are not coincidences lol. one of ray-and-frank's biggest strengths is making music that's as emotionally evocative as the lyrics and serves the purpose/meaning of the song. mcr does sometimes play with juxtaposing dark lyrics and upbeat music for a specific effect (e.g. headfirst for halos), but hang 'em high is a brilliant example of form matching content, of every element in a song fitting perfectly together - only in this case, they fit perfectly together in the way two cars might after a high-speed crash, twisted hideously out of shape but seamlessly into one another. gerard's vocal performance is out of this world but he wouldn't sound as mad or desperate without those guitars fucking nasty underneath him lol. their parts on the verses are in constant tension with each other - there are moments of mismatched rhythms so it feels like one of them's trying to speed up and moments where one of them's out of key so it sounds dissonant, but it's all done intentionally. so then when they all crash together (vocals drums and bass too - honestly the drums on this track fucking rule) at "don't stop if i fall" it hits you Right in the chest.

^one of the best things this band has ever written, it should be impossible for 45 seconds to be that powerful.

anyway electric guitar is such a versatile instrument on its own so with dual guitars the possibilities are endless and ray and frank are just. my favourite partnership ever i can never shut up about them. if you couldn't tell lol.

[peresephoknee]

“An eager black hole” OH?! because you are also drawn to men who can piece your narrative together to make you feel whole?!?

[devilsrecreation]

What are your thoughts on Miss Piggy? I'm personally not fond of her bc of her abuse of Kermit but I wanted to know what you thought

She’s an icon, she’s a legend, and she is the moment

Listen, I get it. She was absolutely RUTHLESS whenever she felt insulted/disrespected in the og muppet show and it IS considered kinda abusive nowadays. But I think that’s the point of her character: she’s a diva but she’s also not one to be messed with and doesn’t need anyone saving her. As for her…temper, characters change. She’s mellowed out a bit imo. She’s had a bit more development without changing her entire personality. Not to mention, she has good qualities too. She definitely worked hard to get where she is now. She gives it her all 100% of the time on stage. She has a sweet spot for her friends. She may not be Mother Theresa, but her heart’s in the right place

I’m just saying she’s a lot more complex than just beating on Kermit and some of the other muppets yk? From what I can remember, she had good reasons. Floyd once put her dog, Foo Foo in a dresser and in return, she puts HIM in a dresser. I love Floyd, don’t get me wrong, but if anyone messes with my pets, you’re dead.

[inyourbenevolence]

I Need A Miracle is produced and edited by Sarah Golding

Sarah is an award winning versatile voice actor, director, writer, producer, podfest organiser. Also pod host of the writing how-to pod ADWIT, (with Lindsay Harris Friel) and sole host of Audio Fiction interview pod INDIE AF.

@merelymatt says, you've probably heard Sarah's voice in The Silt Verses among other productions, but did you know she makes audio drama happen as well as being in it?? Sarah's a huge fan of monologues, which I did kind of know when I pitched I Need A Miracle to Wireless, but I definitely didn't know to what extent. She's produced the mum-themed Mummylogues and now the dad-themed Daddylogues to get more monologues out there for your ears, and that made her the number 1 correct person to make I Need A Miracle everything it can possibly be!