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sweatervest-obsessed · 1 year ago

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Wasteland, Baby

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: 3.4k

TW: Mentions of Murders, mentions of suicide, discussion of suicide, trauma, emotional turmoil, death, arguing, abandonment issues, commitment issues, Angst, some fluff

A/N: Thanks for bearing with me as I try to get off the struggle bus y'all. here is the highly anticipated part 2 of Stick Season !

All the fear and the fire of the end of the world Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl Happens great, happens sweet Happily, I'm unfazed here, too

It had been three years since you left the BAU and you had just turned down a job at the FBI from Erin Strauss. You never heard from her again.

But you did attend her funeral in D.C a week later.

You didn’t alert any of the BAU that you were returning for her funeral, since you could only imagine the pain they were feeling.

The plane ride was filled with thoughts of what life would have been like if you had rejoined the FBI. Maybe she wouldn't have died. Maybe she’d still be calling you and sending you email after email with job offers.

You had quickly stopped by the wake, the day before, to pay your respects, and give Strauss’ family your deepest condolences. It was painful, seeing someone you spoke to last week, stiff, lifeless, in a coffin where they will be for the rest of time.

But the worst part was the burial.

Blending in at a funeral has never been a strong suit of the BAU’s, except for you. You were calm, respectful, and blended in with the rest of the spectators.

Until you looked across the circle and saw Aaron Hotchner looking directly at you. Whatever he had been feeling before, was quickly wiped away when you looked back at him, confirming his suspicions that you were here, in the graveyard. The look on his face was replaced with a more somber one as he redirected his attention back to the priest, but you knew you would be unable to just leave now that you had been spotted.

Once she had been lowered into the ground, Hotch made his way towards you, catching his colleges interested. Where was he going? Who was he looking for?

“Y/n.”

You smiled at him. It didn’t reach your eyes, but it wasn;t fake either.

“It’s good to see you Hotch.”

“I didn’t know you were going to be here today.”

You nodded and looked over as the rest of the people migrated towards their cars to go to the reception afterwards. “I didn’t make it public information, considering I was planning on leaving after the ceremony. I’m just here to pay my respects Hotch.”

“She called you.”

“Yes she did.”

“And she said you turned it down.”

“I did.”

“Why.”

“Hotch, please.”

He took your elbow and pulled you away from the people, giving the two of you some semblance of privacy.

“Will you at least think about it?”

“What is there to think about Hotch? I don’t want to—”

“I wish you wouldn’t lie to me. I know you miss it Y/n. I’m not just some colleague, and you know that.”

You closed your eyes and pinched your brow. You knew coming to this funeral was a mistake. But some part of you, one that you had silenced for a very long time, was starting to break through.

“We can talk later.”

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

“I cannot believe you’re going back.”

You sighed and continued to pack up everything you owned into boxes. You had only broken down the ones from a few years ago–that same part of you had saved them for whenever you had recognized you were ready to be back in Washington D.C.

“Don’t ignore me. I thought you were done with hunting bad guys and certain doctors with glasses.”

You slammed your hands on the table, causing Lucille to jump.

“Sorry.” You muttered and slowly sunk to the ground, deciding it was just easier to sit on the ground and have a breakdown rather than talk it out.

“I’m not going back for him…I’m going back for me. This…” You ran a hand through your hair. “This is n’t what I was meant to do, Luce. I’m not a teacher. I’m okay at it, but…I was meant to be in the field. Teaching is challenging, but not in the way I need. And fuck, I love my kids, you know that I do, but it’s just…”

“It’s not who you are.” She came and sat down next to you, taking your hand in hers. “I’m gonna miss you asshole.”

You rested your head on her shoulder and squeezed her hand. “I’m going to miss you so much.” You whispered back to her.

“You have to visit me. I’ll get lonely up here.”

A smile spread across your face as a tear slowly tracked down your cheek. “ You have my permission to hunt me down and beat the shit out of me if I don’t.”

“Oh don’t worry, I will.”

All the things yet to come are the things that have passed Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass Like the bonfire that burns That all words in the fight fell to

Your desk stayed pretty empty for the first two weeks you were back—like you were terrified that if you got too comfortable, life would pull the rug right out from under you again and you’d have to leave.

It was Garcia who first noticed this, watching as you’d pack everything up into your tote bag each night before you would go home. She didn’t say anything about it though, since you were not the same girl the BAU had grown to know.

You were different, quieter. You spoke when you had something to add, or to correct somebody, but you never participated in the banter; you never stayed longer than absolutely necessary. If the group had decided to surprise you at your new apartment, they would find it covered in boxes—walls bare, fridge almost empty, only essentials like clothes and toothbrush unpacked.

But you had never been better. Hotch had you start consulting side cases when you came back, a way to get you used to the routine of being back in the office, back in the FBI. You would consult up to three new cases a day, still helping with those that would call back a day or week later for updates or more help. They watched as you easily solved things in minutes, that might have taken the team hours.

The first time Morgan called you ‘Girl Genius’ to your face, you punched him in the arm (admittedly a bit harshly). But he wasn’t wrong. You could feel the continuous excitement flowing through your veins; your muscles flexing as you settled back into the thing you were the best at.

You were different, but better.

Spencer noticed this too. He watched as you confidently answered every question thrown at you. He watched as you consulted on cases and noticed patterns he had missed.

Spencer had missed you, badly. He knew he fucked up when he had left that night, needed to go and he spend the night away, thinking about his life; his future. Panic had flooded his body at the thought of you being the one forced to take care of him, forced to deal with his shit history and addictive personality and his annoying ass rambles. He didn’t want to subject you to that.

But then he remembered the look on your face—the pure excitement and adoration at the thought of being able to spend every single minute of your life calling him yours. And once the panic had subsided, he felt that same joy.

When he got back to the house, you weren’t there.

You weren’t at work either.

You had just vanished, and about a day later, all of your things had disappeared too.

And Spencer was a fucking wreck. He was useless at work, and he spent so much time trying to find you, but Penelope wasn’t able to find a thing, and by the time she did, it had been months later, and you clearly didn’t want to be found.

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

It didn’t help that seeing you again in Vermont made him want to melt on the spot. A great deal of relief washed over him, seeing you were alive and in front of him. But then he felt the anger rise in him. You had abandoned him, you had just disappeared without a second thought.

Then he remembered the look on your face when he panicked about marrying you.

You had thought he didn’t want to marry you.

You had no idea that he felt like he was the the problem, and if he told you know, it would just sound like a fucking excuse.

Watching you walk back into the bullpen and set up at your desk was another slap in the face. It feels like nobody tells him anything, because they don’t. But then he realized that only Hotch knew about it because everyone froze on the spot seeing you sitting at your desk, working.

At his desk, he would just watch you. On the plane, he would watch you. And he tried so hard to be nonchalant about it, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your hair, your legs, your arms, your lips—he wanted to take your hand and never let you go, fusing your skin together so he could be with you always.

He was in love with you. And he thought you would rather die than be seen with him again.

If only he knew that you felt the same way—you loved him right back.

And that day that we'll watch the death of the sun To the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on And you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs

After about three months, infinite pining, a few longing glances passed to one another, and incessant whining from Derek Morgan, you and Spencer Reid found yourselves together at coffee one morning.

After about a month later, you found yourself back in his apartment, lips grazing his, not being able to tell where his body ended and yours started.

Then, the next day, he told you he loved you.

He didn’t see you for a whole week afterwards.

But when he walked into work that monday, and you were sitting at your desk, completely unbothered, he took it upon himself to make you talk to him.

No one else was around, except for Hotch. But his office door was closed, and Morgan wouldn’t be around for another ten minutes anyways.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

You turned around in your chair and glared at him. “Excuse me?”

“You disappeared for a week, no word about where you were going, not even telling me you were leaving.”

You rolled your eyes. “Not now Spence.”

“I love you.”

“What?”

“I still love you.”

Your jaw dropped. “Spencer…”

“I’m dead serious Y/n. When you weren’t here after you spent the night, I lost my fucking mind. I thought I had lost you—again. And I wasn’t about to go through that again. I had fucked up once before and I—I thought you had realized you didn’t want to be with me anymore and you had left again.”

You were silent as he rambled on.

“When you left three years ago, I lost my fucking mind. I sat here, staring at your desk hoping you would materialize out of thin air just so that I could apologize to you. And then when you didn’t show up, I begged Penelope to tell me where you had run off to, so I could go and find you and beg for you to listen to me while I got on my hands and knees to beg for your forgiveness. You thought I didn’t want to marry you, but I was terrified because I thought you wouldn’t want to marry me. I mean I had just gotten sober, and I thought we were doing so well and then you brought up marriage and all I could think about was how it was another way for you to find out how much you could hate me and get sick of me since—”

You had finally snapped out the shock you were feeling and placed your hand over his mouth. “Breathe.”

Spencer shoved your hand off his mouth, but stayed silent, taking an over exaggerated breath to prove to you he did.

“We can talk about this later.”

“No.” Spencer shook his head. “We’re going to talk about this now. I want to talk about this now.”

“Spencer…”

“How do I know that you’re not going to just pack up and disappear again.”

“Spencer seriously? I don’t—-”

“You don’t do that? Because we both know you do. You’ve done it twice now.”

“What do you want me to say Spence?”

“That you still love me.” His voice was low, but his eyes were locked in on yours. “I need to know if you still love me.”

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

The Next Week

Another Day, Another Psychopath Killer.

Another way for you to throw yourself into the line of fire because you have always had a soft spot for teenagers.

Someone was targeting suicidal teens, convincing them to end their own lives, merely making him complicit in their deaths. It had sent you (and JJ) reeling. Both of you had lost someone to suicide, and watching as this person preyed on vulnerable kids who deserved to live and be loved took a lot out of the both of you.

You had a bad feeling about this case when it was first passed onto your desk, but it just got worse and worse as the week went on. If only you had figured out who it was sooner, you might have been able to save this one girl’s life. But sometimes life refuses to relent.

The jet was silent on the way back, none of you wanting to speak and break the silence.

Spencer sat next to you on the couch, offering a comforting presence, and nothing else. He knew you (and it bugged the shit out of you). Years of being with one another meant that he knew when you were upset, and he knew that you despised being touched while you were like this, but you hated being alone.

It bugged you so much, but you weren’t going to say a damn thing because having him next to you while you sat and listened to your music and spiraled was exactly what you needed.

He only offered his hand when the plane hit some turbulence, and your entire body began to shake unconsciously. It was between the two of you, and all he did was flip it, so the palm was upwards. It was an invitation that you could immediately ignore and refuse if you wanted to.

But something in you caused your hand to drop next to his and lace your fingers through his.

God was it so fucking warm, and soft. You wondered if he still used the lotion you had recommended to him all those years ago when he would complain to you about his hands being “gross” and “too dry”. He absolutely did.

He managed to hide his smile when you took his hand, but he did give yours a soft squeeze, and continued to read his book, pretending that his insides weren’t aflame and his mind was anywhere but on the words in front of him.

He didn’t turn a page for over four minutes once your hand was in his.

And I love too that love soon might end Be known in its aching Shown in the shaking Lately of my wasteland, baby Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking Though quaking, though crazy That's wasteland, baby

That Night

“Thank you.”

It was the first thing you had said in over five hours, including the plane ride. Once the plane had landed, you and Spencer went back to his apartment, and the two of you had sat in his living room, in silence. He didn’t mind, as long as he could keep an eye on you.

Your mind was far far away. It was back in college. Thinking about your friend and about the life you could have lived if she was still with you.

Spencer had left a cup of tea next to you, your favorite, and sat on the couch. You were situated in the chair by the window, staring out into the night, watching as the rain drops raced down the window and as the lights blurred together.

He was close enough to provide you with some comfort, but far enough away to let you have whatever space you needed.

“Spence?”

He snapped out of his head, looking towards you. Your eyes were tired, and your body reflected the same type of exhaustion.

“Sorry. What do you need?”

“I—.” You interrupted yourself with a yawn, cursing under your breath. “Shit sorry. I should probably go..”

“It’s okay if you stay.”

You looked out the window then back at him.

“I’m not just saying that to get you into my bed—oh my god that came out wrong, I just mean I don’t want you out in that weather and I don’t really like the idea of you being alone tonight, especially after this case because—”

“Spencer.”

“---yeah?”

“I’ll stay.”

“O-oh. Good. good…” He nodded. “I can uh, take the couch and you can have the bed.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled slightl;y. “You’re a gentleman, Doctor Reid, but I’m not kicking you out of your bed.”

“But I—”

“Spence.”

He huffed, crossing his arms as you just laughed softly to yourself, amused.

“Why don’t we both go get ready. Together.”

“Together?”

You nodded. “Yeah Spence.”

“Okay.”

Spencer stood up, and offered his hand to you.

And for the second time today, you took it.

When the stench of the sea and the absence of green Are the death of all things that are seen and unseen Are an end but the start of all things that are left to do

And maybe the two of you would never be together ever again. Maybe you would.

But something about the way Spencer would make your favorite tea,

or the way he would save you the crossword puzzle on his morning newspaper since he knew how much you loved to solve as much as you could without his help,

or when he would leave you notes on your desk, making you feel like a giddy high schooler all over again, or when he felt like a good start to something new

or when he would kiss you good morning and good night, promising you he’d be there whenever you woke up

or when he slowly got rid of things in his apartment to create space for your things as you moved in slowly

or whenever a case was particularly rough for the both of you and he wouldn’t pester you to talk to him about it, instead offering his hand for you to take, and squeezing it, letting you know he was there for you

or the way he would take you on small vacations up to Vermont so you could go see all of your friends and escape from the world of the FBI

or the way he would never storm out of the apartment after an argument, but still give you the space you needed so you could both decompress without getting at each other's throats

or when he whispered every thing he would do for you for the rest of your lives so help him god when he thought you were asleep in his arms

or how he would whispered ‘I love you’ to you as you passed by while you both were working

or when he would never let you run off in the middle of the night because you would panic about whether or not this was all a dream, and one day he would wake up and not love you anymore

or when he got down on one knee and proclaimed his undying love for you, hoping you’d promised to love him forever in the same way he loved you, wanting to be with you, wanting to be near you always

made you feel like everything might be okay after all.

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

#x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid fluff #dr spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x self insert

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winterchimez · 5 months ago

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Bad Blood | Lee Hyunjae

SUMMARY: you and Hyunjae were the best duo the FBI has ever had, well at least, you used to be. so when you finally meet the man you once loved face-to-face after everything that has happened, you're now left with the question if he is worth putting your faith and trust towards him again.

PAIRING: agent!Hyunjae x f!reader

GENRE: angst, crime

WARNINGS: nc-17, mentions of weaponry (guns, bombs), mentions of blood, violence, action scenes, betrayal (but not really ish; you'll find out as you read it), the tension in this is whew 😮‍💨, minor character deaths, kissing, petnames (sweetheart, princess), cursing

WORD COUNT: 2k

A/N: and so winterchimez makes her writing comeback 🫡 happiest birthday to my sweetest @hcuyk i look up to you a lot and im so so glad that we became close & i hope this is worthy for you my vae vae 🥹 and a big shoutout to @kyaroscuro for hyping me up and beta reading it through i cherish you loads too 💗🫶🏻

You absolutely detested the situation that you were placed in.

It was past midnight when you received an alert about the criminal that you and your team had been tracking down for the past few months and decided to resurface into the light. All agents on duty were given clear instructions to hunt the man down, even if it meant that any of you had to open fire.

But it seemed as if your agents had underestimated what he was capable of, and there was a good reason why he was placed on the FBI’s top most-wanted list—he was a mastermind at setting up traps, specifically in hiding bombs throughout the city.

Unfortunately for you and your team, half of your men had already been wiped out and poorly injured only ten minutes into the chase. However, as one of the elite members of the force, you refused to stop and kept moving forward—chasing the criminal up to the docks.

Loading your gun while you were running to aim and shoot at the criminal was a challenge since you also had to avoid harming any of the pedestrians.

Multiple times, the criminal himself has either taken some innocent people hostage or inflicted minor injuries upon them, which only ticked you off even further. You were mentally cursing and wanting just to land a bullet on the guy anytime now.

It was finally when the criminal himself had moved to a dead-end, and he was taking a few steps back one at a time before he realised that he would fall straight down into the violent waves that would wash one away into the deep ocean.

Aiming your gun right towards his forehead, you finally took in a deep breath before announcing out loud the consequences of his actions if he were to try anything funny further.

“It’s over. Quietly turn yourself in, and your life will be spared.”

Instead of raising his arms, the criminal responded by lowering his head before chuckling—his laughter getting louder and more sinister by the second.

“What’s so funny?” You retorted.

“I’m sorry, princess. It’s time.”

Right there and then, he pulls out a remote and quickly taps on the red glowing button. An explosive goes off under the bridge, causing the waves to rise rapidly. The last thing you see with your eyes is the waves crashing down upon you.

It was too late for you to run as the waters dragged you down into the ocean, and the current quickly shifted you far away towards the sea. As much as you tried to paddle and stay above the waters, you were buried rapidly by the waves, and little did you know you were deep down in the dark, freezing waters.

That was it. You failed the mission, and god knows what will happen to you.

With the last few seconds you had before you knew that you were going to pass out, you could only pray that you would end up somewhere and that your fellow FBI agents would find you and take you back to the headquarters within the next 24 hours.

But it seemed that help arrived much quicker than expected.

As you felt half-unconscious, your body was quickly lifted from the waters, and you were back at the docks again. Whoever was carrying you was quick yet gentle, carrying you bridal style before heading towards a dimly lit area between the cargo boxes and placing you down to catch your breath.

Your saviour wasted no time and quickly performed CPR on you, causing you to spit out a large amount of water that had gotten into your passageways and helped you to steady your breathing again so that you were able to at least talk.

The moment you tried to focus your vision to get a glimpse of which of the FBI agents came to your rescue, your eyes immediately widened, and you quickly took out your other spare gun that you kept safe and intact behind your bulletproof vest and rested it on his temple.

You weren’t expecting to see him again.

“Sweetheart, can’t we just exchange a few words before you decide to pull a gun on me? I even saved your life, you know,” Hyunjae sighed as he slowly lifted your pants to reveal an injury you had neglected while you were on the chase for the criminal.

“As I’ve said, the next time we meet, I will not hesitate to pull the trigger and kill you off, traitor,” you deadpanned.

That’s right, Hyunjae was a traitor—an ex-FBI agent and your former partner-in-crime.

Both of you were inseparable for years. You trained and deployed on countless missions, and for five years, you were grouped as a duo. Hyunjae was the best marksman, and you were his right-hand-woman.

Together, no criminal out there was a match for you two, no matter how dangerous or well-equipped they were. In reality, whoever dared to provoke you two would not have a great outcome the moment that they were captured and brought back to headquarters.

He was a soulmate you never knew existed, and the both of you were always together no matter what. At some point, all of your colleagues were convinced that the two of you were a thing, but neither of you wanted to label anything. You both were fine just the way you were, and as long as the bickering and childish acts went on, you were fine.

Until you ran into Hyunjae killing off one of your superiors in his office a year prior.

This was someone you trusted your whole life with, but at that moment, he was a complete stranger—with splatters of blood all across his face and clothing and those deep, lost eyes as he looked down at the lifeless body on the ground.

As an instinct, you loaded your gun with your trembling hands and moved it up to aim at him, causing the male to direct his attention towards you.

There were no words exchanged for a solid ten seconds, and you could tell that tears were about to stream down your face as your vision blurred.

There was this bittersweet smile plastered across his face, and he only stood there, not moving an inch, before he finally decided to break the news to you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

Those were his last words before he leapt out of the broken windows, running deep into the forest before the entire building was alerted and a wide manhunt began to capture your ex-partner.

However, the FBI should’ve known that he was one of the top commanders at that point and would not be easily located.

After a few months had passed, the news came to light when it was revealed that Hyunjae was leading a double life—not only was he an FBI commander, but he was also the CIA’s top informant.

With that, you have distinguished that you two are now on different pages and that things will not end well for either of you the next time you see him again.

So here you were, pointing your gun at his temple, ready to pull the trigger anytime.

Part of you wanted to surrender so badly and just interrogate the hell out of him instead of resorting to violence, but you knew that being an agent meant that there was no room to let any personal feelings get in the way.

But it seemed as if Hyunjae wasn’t bothered by your actions in the slightest, and instead, he took out a clean cloth from one of his pockets to clean the wound before wrapping it well to prevent any infections that may happen.

No. There’s no way you’re going to back down now. “You’re going to get yourself killed if you keep this up; you know that, right?” You pushed the gun forward and added some pressure, but he was not alarmed in the slightest.

“Alright, the cloth isn’t going to last for long, so I highly suggest that you treat the wound as quickly as you possibly can-”

“Stop playing games with me, Hyunjae. You know you’re part of the FBI’s most wanted list now, don’t you?” You warned.

There were a few seconds of silence before the male sighed and wrapped his fingers around your gun, yanking it down forcefully. “You’re so gullible, Y/N.”

“What the actual fuck? You sure have the audacity to say that right to my face after what you’ve done-”

“What I’ve done a year prior-” he raised his voice slightly and finally turned to meet eye-to-eye with you for the first time in a while. “-it’s all part of the plan to patch things up and to eliminate any potential harm to the FBI.”

You scoffed. “Bullshit. You’re with the CIA; why bother about the FBI when you killed Chief-”

Before you can finish your sentence, Hyunjae uses one of his arms to push you against one of the cargo boxes, causing you to yelp silently with the sudden force. This time, he rests his forehead against yours, trying his best to tell you something while lowering his tone.

“Y/N. You can hate me all you want, but I’m not doing all of this for the CIA. No matter what, my heart is always with the FBI, but most importantly, with yours.”

Wait a minute.

Did he mean what he said during that last sentence?

That can’t be true, and you were certain that you were probably hallucinating since you had lost quite a bit of blood and you were literally drowning ten minutes ago in the waters. It has got to be a side effect of all of those.

But Hyunjae wasn’t done.

“I’ll tell you right now that you’re in great danger, and you have attracted quite the attention from multiple organisations out there. But I’m not going to let them lay a finger on you, and it will always be a top priority to keep you safe first and foremost.”

“Hyunjae. I’m not in the mood to be playing games with you-”

“And neither am I, Y/N.” Hyunjae slightly pushes you back against the box, this time moving in close until both of your lips are mere inches apart. “You’re mine, and forever will be.”

In the blink of an eye, he presses his lips onto yours, devouring them as if there was no tomorrow. It was the first time you exchanged kisses, and you never realised how soft his lips were, and he knew how to cause butterflies in your stomach. He slowly moved his hands up to your neck and held it firmly, allowing him to deepen the kiss even further.

As much as he wanted for it to last as long as he could, he pulled away and kissed your temple softly before whispering into your ear.

“You wanted the truth, and I have given it to you. It’s up to you to do whatever you want with the information. But know that I’ll always be lurking in the shadows, keeping you safe from any harm before we can finally meet face-to-face again,” Hyunjae whispered.

When he finally let go of his grip on you, a soft, sincere smile was plastered across his face before he disappeared into the darkness of the night, leaving you confused as hell as you laid your head back on the box.

As the sound of the choppers began rumbling in the sky, indicating that the FBI had sent back up to rescue any of the surviving agents, you knew it was time to get up and head straight back to report at the headquarters.

Before you did any of that, you decided to turn your direction right towards where Hyunjae had run off one last time before a single teardrop fell straight down onto the ground.

“You have never once left my mind, Hyunjae. And now, you’re just making me go insane with whatever you have up against your sleeves.”

A/N: i haven't written in months so this might not be the best but i tried 🥹

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @k-films @flwoie @gluion @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @sulkygyu @jaerisdiction @lngwayup @djidfk @daisyvisions (join my permanent taglist here!)

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lucidlivi · 1 year ago

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Never Been You

Requested: @hzllxhoundxx

Everything Tag List: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @heavenlyackles @anixiiee @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch @k-slla @alternativeprincess @spnbaby-67 (if you'd like added to my everything tag list, please indicate by saying "please tag me in everything Jensen/Dean")

Warnings: Angst, Demon Dean, Kidnapping, Violence, Mature Themes, Demon Dean Being an Absolute Dick

Following S10 E2, S10 E3 (of course with my twist!)

I got carried away so this is a hella long one for you guys!

"you need to get to Beulah North Dakota now!" I rushed out to Castiel who was on the other end of the phone call.

"I do?"

"yes, Crowley and Dean were there, we have to pick up their trail."

I looked over to see Sam in the truck hunched over in pain.

"good, great."

I felt the emotions wash over me for what felt like the thousandth time since seeing the footage of Dean, our Dean, sporting black eyes. Castiel has no idea.

"Not exactly, Cas, Dean's a Demon." I said feeling the unshed tears slip from my eyes.

"Dean's a Demon? How?"

"It's the mark Cas, it messed him up, I don't know." I cried.

"that's a vast understatement." Castiel grumbled.

"look Cas, I know you're not feeling so hot right now, but I need you, it’s sort of an all hands on deck situation, so…"

"so I'll be there."

I hopped back in the truck I had rescued Sam in and continued to drive to North Dakota. I played through every scenario in mind of how this could go, and none of them ended well.

I needed to find Dean, I needed to help him.

"I got a lead, disturbance at a night club, a rowdy patron beat a security guard senseless. It sounds like a demon thing to do." Sam said looking at his phone.

"I guess let's check it out then."

It was still daytime when we were pulling up to the strip club.

Of course Dean would end up here.

"think that's the guy?" I asked Sam, looking at a muscular security guard who was wearing a sling identical to Sam's and had two black eyes.

"I would say it's a safe bet."

I stopped the truck hopping out, followed by Sam.

"excuse me sir, is this the guy who attacked you last night?" Sam asked straight forward, showing a picture of Dean.

"that's the guy, I called 911 but he was gone before they showed up."

Damn.

I didn't expect him to still be here, but it felt like a blow to the gut to actually hear it.

"that dude get to you too?" He asked Sam referencing his sling.

"uh no, this uh is just a hunting accident." Sam responded.

"would you do us a favor, if this guy shows back up, please give us a call." I said producing a fake FBI business card with my number on it.

"you bet."

"thanks."

I ran a hand through my hair with a huff before getting back in the truck.

"what now?" I asked, feeling the tears prick at my eyes again.

I couldn't bare the thought of Dean actually being a demon.

"I don't know." Sam said in defeat.

I drove the truck to a nearby motel, renting us a room. Sam had been through hell, he needed to rest. I helped him lay down on the bed, noticing his eyes get instantly heavy.

"I'll be right back, I'm just going to get something out of the truck." I told him, rushing outside.

As soon as I stepped outside, I heard a voice that made my blood boil with anger.

"hello there love."

I turned around to see Crowley with a smirk on his face.

"did ya miss me?"

I huffed in anger, reaching behind me to pull a blade from my belt loop.

"oh so much." I growled.

"easy now, I know you're here for Dean, and I'm here to give him to you."

Is this a trick?

I could never truly trust Crowley.

"I don't understand."

"you see he's bad for business, he's.. he's become uncontrollable, must be the mark.." Crowley trails off with a smirk.

"anywho Dean's your problem now, again, forever." Crowley added.

"then where the hell is he?" I snapped, not being able to contain my anger towards the king of hell.

"ah ah, first there's a small matter of my finders fee."

"nothing ever comes free with you, wouldn't have expected anything less."

****************************************************

I hesitantly walk in to the bar not knowing what to expect. I didn't even tell Sam where I was going. I knew he didn't have the strength to fight, and I didn't want him to get hurt.

"hiya angel." Dean said looking up at me with a smirk.

I felt my breathing get heavy as I looked at him. It was Dean in the flesh, but this thing was so far from Dean. Dean was brave, he was kind, Dean cared.

"I told you to let me go." Dean said picking up his glass of whiskey and sipping it.

"you know I can't do that Dean."

He smirked, taking another sip.

"by the way, your pal Crowley, he sold you out, didn't take him much." I said stepping a bit closer.

"sounds like him."

"Dean, we can cure demons, don't you remember that?" I asked taking another step closer.

Dean picked up the first blade, walking past me in a threatening manner.

"a little latin, lot of blood, yeah it rings a bell. but did you ever stop to think that if I wanted to be cured, I wouldn't have bailed."

"Dean that was Crowley, you don't know what you're doing."

"that's what you think." Dean said pouring himself another glass of whiskey.

"well it doesn't matter Dean, whatever happened, whatever went down, we will fix it." I said cautiously taking another step towards him.

"Oh will we? Meanwhile I'm doing all I can to not come over there and rip your throat out."

"Dean you don't mean that."

"I'm giving you a chance to run sweetheart, better take it." Dean threatened.

"I'll pass." I said quickly.

“I'm not walking out that door with you, I'm just not, so what are you going to do angel, huh? Are you going to kill me?" Dean asked.

I felt a chill run down my spine at the way he called me angel. It was laced with venom.

"I didn't come here to kill you."

"why? you have no idea what I've done, in fact I might have it coming."

"I don't care Dean, you're my best friend, and I'm here to take you home. I'm here to save you."

I wanted to admit so much more to him.

I wanted to tell him that it's because I was in love with him and couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I was worried now that I wouldn't get the chance too.

I heard Dean start to chuckle.

"save me? why would you want to save me? it's never been you, you know." Dean said taking a sip.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Dean got up sauntering his way over to me. I instinctively took a step back, not trusting him. I soon found out though, the more distance I tried to put between us the closer he got. I raised my hand up putting it on his chest to stop him from getting any closer.

Dean smirked at me before twisting my arm and bringing his hand up to my throat. He pinned me to the wall a twisted look in his eyes. I felt a chill run down my spine, he was getting pleasure out of this.

"I see the way you look at me, the way you lust for me, you want me." Dean smirked.

I glared at him, trying to turn my face away, his hold on my throat getting tighter.

"you don't want to kill me because you're in love with me, and you have been for quite some time, haven't you?"

I couldn't speak, Dean's hold on me was too tight. I furrowed my eyebrows as if to convey he wasn't right, even though he was.

"and its never been you for me.. you see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, i've been fucking everything with a heartbeat." Dean growled.

I could feel the tears brim my eyes as his words cut in to me. I knew he was just trying to hurt me, but part of me wondered if that's how Dean actually felt.

He let go of my throat, shoving me to the floor. I instantly stood back up taking out the handcuffs from my back pocket.

"you really think those are going to work sweetheart?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"well there's one way to find out."

As I took a step forward, the window shattered and the entire room started filling with smoke. I looked to my left to see someone had threw a smoke grenade. I felt the air rush from my lungs as I breathed in the smoke. I put my shirt over my mouth and nose, trying to find an exit. I started to cough, as my vision got blurry.

I finally found the emergency exit, pushing it open. I saw the silhouette of a man on the other side as I collapsed from smoke inhalation. He struck me across the face hard, causing me to fall back to the ground, hitting my head in the process.

I was seeing stars as I sat clutching my bleeding head. Dean came out glaring the man down. I heard them exchange some words, but couldn't make out exactly what they were saying.

I noticed myself start to slip in and out of consciousness.

I saw them start to fight, Dean clearly having the upper hand.

I felt like my head was on fire, as I glanced up seeing Dean holding the first blade to the guys neck. He was going to kill him. I was surprised when he dropped him, tucking the blade back in to his pocket. I tried to muster up any strength I could to get up, but my body was betraying me. Dean walked over to me, a sick grin etched on to his face as he swayed his hips.

"Dean please." I choked out.

"time to sleep now baby."

Dean raised his hand striking me, and that's the last thing I remember before my world went dark.

****************************************************

I was in agonizing pain as I fluttered my eyelashes open. I panicked as I couldn't move my body. I looked down to see my arms and legs were bound to a wooden chair. I gathered from my surroundings that I was in some kind of warehouse, but I didn't recognize where.

"oh good, you're awake."

Dean came over crouching in front of me so we were eye level.

"let me go." I growled.

"can't do that angel." He said caressing my cheek.

I quickly moved my head away, causing his hand to fall.

"you don't want to provoke me." Dean growled.

"or what? you're going to kill me?"

Dean gave a sickly sweet smile. He leaned in close whispering in my ear.

"or you're going to wish you were dead."

"I'm not scared of you Dean." I snapped.

Dean lets out a chuckle, standing to his feet.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you so much, feisty little thing."

"why don't you let me out of these ropes and I'll show you just how feisty I can be."

Dean chuckled again, grabbing a bottle of whiskey taking a sip.

"I don't even know why I'm talking to you, this isn't even the real you." I scoffed.

"oh it's the real me alright, the new real me, the me who sees things for what they actually are."

I scoffed again rolling my eyes at his words.

"hunters, do-gooders, fighting the natural order, well let me tell you something sweetheart people like me, we are the natural order."

"yeah well people like me still gotta do what we can." I growled.

Dean smirked as he crouched back down to my eye level.

"oh don't be so full of yourself baby, cause you see from where I'm sitting, there ain't much difference from what I turned in to, to what you already are." Dean smirked.

"and what is that supposed to mean?" I growled.

Dean took one hand resting on my cheek, the other on the back of my neck so I couldn't move away from him again.

"I know what you did when you went looking for me, how far you went." Dean whispered, dangerously close to my face.

I felt the guilt sink back in.

I just kept telling myself I did what I had to in order to find Dean. I felt my breathing quicken as Dean came in closer, practically brushing his lips against mine.

"so let me ask you baby, which one of us is really the monster?"

I felt the tears brimming my lashes as Dean stared at me. Dean smirked as he stood back up.

"Now you and Sammy were trying to get a twenty on Crowley and me from any demon you could snag, but Crowley didn't want to be found, and no one showed when you summoned. But you my angel, you found your own way didn't you?"

I was ridden with guilt as I remembered how I tricked Lester in to summoning a demon to make a deal.

"You would've liked to have gotten there before the deal went down but you didn't really care about poor ol' Lester did you? Oh and just so you know, I uh killed Lester myself." Dean smirked as if it were funny.

"I never meant.." I started to choke out but Dean cut me off.

"who cares what you meant, that line that we thought was so clear between us and the things we hunted, ain't so clear is it?" Dean yelled.

I bit my lip to stop the tears from falling.

"wow, you know, you might actually be worse then me. I mean you took a guy at his lowest, used him, and it cost him his life and his soul, nice work baby." Dean said crouching back down.

I spit in his face, the anger I was feeling towards him boiling over. Dean angrily wiped his face off with the hem of his shirt.

"there's no point in trying to bring your best friend back now." Dean growled.

"oh I’ll bring him back, if it's the last thing I do." I growled.

"In fact, your uh guilt ridden, weight-of-the-world best friend, has been M.I.A. for quite some time now. I have to say though, I'm loving the new model, lean, mean, Dean."

I rolled my eyes turning my head away from him.

"I can't believe you're still trying! I mean, I couldn't wait to get away from you. I chose the king of hell over you! I guess I was just tired of having to coddle you, always having to yank your ass out of the fire. Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?" Dean said.

I could feel the tears run down my cheeks as he spoke.

"this isn't my best friend talking, he would never say those things." I spoke, more for my benefit than for his.

"you never had a best friend, just an excuse for wimping out, and guess what angel, I quit."

"no, you don't get to quit, we don't quit, okay you and me Dean we're bonded whether you like it or not, and this bond is all that we've got." I cried.

"well then we've got nothing." Dean smirked.

I looked down at the floor, praying that Sam had noticed I was gone. I was praying to Castiel to come find me. I knew if it came down to it, I couldn't kill Dean, even if it meant he'd kill me. I was praying for another solution.

I heard the door open and the sound of heeled footsteps against the floor.

"you brought us a play thing?"

I looked up to see a female, she wore black eyes similar to Deans.

"not us, mine." Dean growled at the girl who took a step closer to me.

"but I want to play too." she smirked coming over to me, brushing a piece of hair off my bare shoulder.

I shivered at her touch, trying to move away with what limited space I had.

"I said no." Dean growled.

I glanced up meeting Dean's eyes and for a second, just a second, I could see he wasn't totally gone.

"have you gone soft on us Winchester?"

"ha, not even, but you see that one's kind of a special project of mine, and I want to kill her myself." Dean smirked staring at me.

"okay, then I won't kill her."

As she said this, she shoved the chair back, causing me to hit my head on the concrete below. I grunted as the air was knocked out of my lungs.

"I'll just hurt her." she laughed.

"Dean please." I pleaded, struggling to breathe.

"Dean's gone." the woman whispered, running a hand through my hair.

"Dean I know you're in there. I'm begging you. I always rely on you because I know I can. Dean you're the most selfless person I know. I know that somewhere inside you still care. I know you don't want to hurt me Dean." I cried.

As I was putting on my show, I managed to wiggle one of my arms free. I reached around to grab my blade that was hidden in my belt loop, but I didn't feel anything.

"are you looking for this?" she smirked, inspecting the demon blade.

"go back to hell where you belong." I snapped.

"nice show, even almost had me fooled for a second." I heard her laugh.

She held the blade to my cheek. I could feel my breathing quicken as she ran the blade down my cheek towards my neck. She pressed in just enough to draw a small trickle of blood. I looked past her to try to reason with Dean again but I didn't see him.

I suddenly felt blood splatter on my face. It was coming from the woman's mouth as Dean plunged the first blade deeper in to her spine. I watched the life leave her eyes in an instant. Dean grunted as he ripped the blade out, her now lifeless body slumping over my own. He threw her body off of me, picking the chair back up.

He started to pace around the room as if he wasn’t sure what just happened.

"look what you made me do!" Dean yelled.

"Dean, let me go, and then I can help you." I whimpered weakly.

Dean glared at me, his eyes going black before flashing back to his normal green ones. Dean growled, opening the door to the room before slamming it shut leaving me alone.

I had to get out of here. I noticed my blade still on the ground, just a few feet from where I sat. If I can get to it, I can cut myself free.

I leaned over as far as I could, causing the chair to tip over sideways. I once again smacked my head on the concrete as I fell. I groaned at the impact but shook it off, using my free arm to pull myself closer to the knife. I reached out my arm, my fingers just barely grazing the handle.

"come on!" I exclaimed, trying to grip it again.

I finally managed to wrap my fingers around the handle of the blade. I breathed a momentary sigh of relief, cutting my other arm free from the ropes than cutting my ankles free. I stood up weakly looking for an exit. I took my sleeve, wiping the blood off my face.

I wasn't sure how much of it was hers, and how much of it was my own.

I finally saw a red exit sign. I mustered up all my strength sprinting over to it. I put my hand on the door, but suddenly stopped.

I couldn't leave him.

I wouldn't.

I was debating with myself when I heard a loud growl. Dean must've come back and noticed I was gone.

"you're coming home whether you like it or not." I whispered, running through the warehouse.

I could hear Dean walking after me, opening doors as he went. It was eery how calm he walked.

"come on baby, don't you want to hang out with me, spend a little quality time." Dean yelled.

I quieted my breathing as I found the keys to the electrical room. I moved quietly against the walls towards the room.

I heard Dean kick down some doors, growling every time I wasn't behind one of them. I managed to get to the electrical room. I fumbled with the keys trying to unlock the door.

"fuck" I muttered in frustration.

I finally got in, and immediately pulled every switch I could, killing the power.

"that's smart angel, but now I know where to find you." Dean growled as he rushed towards where I was.

I hid against the wall waiting for him. I heard him enter quietly, looking around for me.

"come on out angel, you're just making things worse for yourself." Dean growled.

I rushed over to the door, just as Dean threw the switches back, restarting the power.

"now this is me yanking your ass out of the fire." I spit slamming the door and locking him inside.

I heard Dean chuckle.

"this is your big plan, locking me in?"

"Dean, just please come with me and we can cure you." I said holding out my demon blade.

It was completely silent.

"Dean?"

I jumped in fright as Dean banged on the door, slowly splitting the wood.

"you act like I wanna be cured, personally I like the disease." Dean growled, using a hammer he found to break the door down.

"Dean stop! I don't want to use this blade on you!" I yelled holding it out further in front of my body.

"that sucks for you doesn't it angel, cause you really mean that." Dean smirked, hitting the door with the hammer again.

"Dean if you come out of that room, I won't have a choice." I whimpered, choking back tears.

"oh sure you will, and I know which one you'll make, isn't that right baby?" Dean growled smacking the door harder.

I knew the door wouldn't hold him much longer.

"I'm lucky though, cause there's just enough demon left in me that killing you, ain't gonna be a choice at all." Dean growled continuing to break the door down.

I felt the tears streaming down my face at this point. I could see the door giving way. I turned around sprinting away before it broke completely. I heard one last loud bang before the door gave way. Dean's heavy footsteps were once again behind me.

"come on angel, lets kiss and make up. I'm tired of playing let's finish this game." Dean growled.

I leaned against the wall taking a deep breath. I didn't have the strength to continue. I knew I was no match for him.

I glanced down the corridor where I thought Dean was coming from. I didn't see him though.

I turned around just in time to see a hammer flying towards my head. I ducked quickly, pushing my demon blade against Dean's throat. I could hear Dean chuckle as he looked at me, raising his hands in mock surrender.

"well, well look at you baby, go on do it." Dean growled leaning in to the knife.

I felt the tears cloud my vision as I slowly dropped the knife.

I couldn't kill him.

I watched as Dean's eyes went black. He gripped my throat throwing me against the wall before slamming me on the ground. I watched him take out the first blade, bringing it above his head.

"Dean I love you."

I closed my eyes, waiting for death to come.

But it didn't.

I opened my eyes to see Dean growling, as if he was fighting an inner battle with himself, a battle for his soul. I caught sight of Castiel sneaking up behind Dean, wrapping him in his arms. Dean growled, trying to get out of his grasp.

"Dean it's over." Cas said his eyes flashing their beautiful blue.

Dean collapsed in CastieI's arms, before I slapped the demon cuffs on him. I felt myself relax as I saw Sam rushing to my side.

****************************************************

"I'll meet you guys soon, just one thing left to do." I said holding the first blade in my hand.

"Be careful." Sam said placing a kiss on my forehead.

I gave him a nod, watching him get in the impala with Castiel and a still unconscious Dean. I sighed as they pulled away from me.

"you can stop hiding now." I called.

I saw Crowley emerge from the shadows, a smirk on his face as he eyed the blade.

"pleasure doing business with you." He spoke reaching his hand out.

I quickly pulled it out of his reach.

"what are you going to do with it?" I inquired.

"oh toss it in a volcano, leave it on the moon, i'll get creative." He laughed.

I hesitantly eyed him.

"believe me love, I don't want Dean getting his hands on the precious any more than you do. he knows I've ratted and he tends to hold a grudge....I don't want to get how you say boned."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"besides a deals a deal."

I huffed before handing the blade over to him.

"I hope you know this doesn't make us square, quite the opposite actually, I swear Crowley if I see you again.." I started but he cut me off.

"oh stop it love, no one likes a tease."

I glared at him one last time before hopping in the truck, starting the drive back to Kansas.

I felt like my head was going to explode from everything that had happened in such a short time. Dean's words replayed in my head on a continuous loop.

It wasn't him, I know that. It didn't make anything he said any less hurtful though.

It's never been you.

You see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, I've been fucking everything with a heartbeat.

Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?

I felt the tears cloud my vision, making the road harder to see. I pulled over to the side of the road and cried. I let out every emotion I'd been holding in.

I cried for Dean, I cried for what he went through. I cried for me. I cried for the strain that this was going to put on our relationship. I just cried.

I didn't know how long I'd been crying but I finally collected myself enough to start driving again. I knew that Sam and Castiel could handle Dean. I'm sure they were already back in Kansas, starting the purified blood cure on Dean.

I didn't even know if I was ready to face him again. I spilled my darkest secret to Dean, fearing that I would be dead and never having the chance to tell him.

Dean didn't kill me though.

He could have very easily, I didn't put up much of a fight.

But he didn't.

I was praying that maybe some part of him felt something for me too.

I managed to make the rest of the drive to Kansas. I pulled up to the bunker, hearing Dean growl as the demon was expelled from his body. I hesitantly walked over seeing him slumped over in a chair, much like I was hours ago. Sam injected another syringe of purified blood in to his arm.

"what the hell are we doing to him guys? I mean even after everything he said he didn't want to be cured, that he didn't want to be human." I spoke, feeling the tears that I was sure I had cried all out, start to rim my eyes once again.

"well, I can see his point, you know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain." Castiel said staring directly at me while talking about pain.

"I guess this is easier." Sam added.

I was about to respond when Dean groaned, trying to move. He raised his head, showing us his black eyes, before they returned to their shade of green.

Dean groaned hoarsely before exhaling a big breath. He looked at the three of us confused, as if everything was coming back to him.

"you look worried guys." Dean spoke up.

I could feel Dean's eyes stay on me. He stared at me intently. I just hoped I didn't look as broken as I felt.

Castiel, Sam, and I gave each other a look, all wondering the same thing. Was Dean back?

Sam uncapped the holy water throwing it on to Dean's face. I sighed with relief when he didn't have a reaction to it. Sam smiled at us. I was still a little apprehensive as was Castiel.

"Dean, we've missed you." Sam said.

Castiel and Sam unchained Dean, helping him to his feet. I felt like every word I wanted to say was stuck in my throat. Dean stared at me as the boys led him to his room. He was weak, the blood cure taking a lot out of him.

How was I even supposed to talk to him about this?

Castiel and Sam returned quickly after getting Dean settled.

"how's he doing?" I asked the boys.

"he's still a little out of it, but better. I mean I think the blood cure, all of it, it really wrecked him you know." Sam said giving me an apologetic look.

It was silent for a moment.

"on the plus side, he's hungry again so I'm going to go pick us up some food, you guys mind keeping an eye?" Sam added grabbing the keys to the impala.

I nodded my head as he walked out. Castiel was unnaturally quiet.

"what is it Cas?"

"one problem is solved, but one still remains. Dean is no longer a demon, that's true, but the mark of cain, that he still has, and sooner or later that's going to become an issue.”

I knew he was right, Castiel always was.

"one battle at a time Cas." I half smiled.

Castiel looked at me with a sad face. It was no use hiding my emotions from him because the angel always figured it out. Castiel stepped up, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I felt a tear cascade down my cheek as I sunk in his embrace.

"I'm uh, going to get cleaned up." I whispered.

I felt every muscle in my body aching as I walked to the bathroom. I cringed when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked like hell.

I sported a hand shaped bruise around my throat, along with a cut from my knife. I had a gash on my head, and my face was still crimson colored from the blood. I could see various other bruises forming all over. I licked over my lip that was busted from being thrown against the wall by Dean.

I definitely looked as broken as I felt.

I sighed as I stepped in to the steady stream of water, the sound of the water slapping against my skin drowned out my sobs. I scrubbed my skin until it felt raw.

I got out wrapping the towel tightly around my body. I tiptoed past Deans room. I couldn't help my curiosity as I heard Dean and Castiel talking.

"thank you, for stepping in when you did... has uh she talked to you? what does she say, does she want anything to do with me?" Dean asked.

I could hear the hurt in his voice. It made me hurt more.

"I'm sure she knows whatever you said, whatever you did, that wasn't really you, I mean it certainly wasn't all of you." Castiel reassured.

"Cas, I tried to kill her. Did you see her? I did that! I can't take back the things I said Cas." Dean said.

"Dean I feel I can be honest with you. You two have been through so much together, you're bonded. It'll take a lot more than you trying to kill her with a hammer to get her to walk away." Castiel said.

"you realize how screwed up our lives are that, that even makes sense?" Dean says causing Cas to chuckle.

"I think you should talk to her, and then maybe you should uh take some time, allow both of you to heal."

I heard Castiel exit Dean's room, closing the door. He gave me a wordless look as he passed, signifying that his words were just as much meant for me as they were for Dean.

Castiel the wise.

Of course I couldn't walk away from Dean.

I sighed as I walked to my room, quickly throwing on some clothes. As soon as I lay in my soft bed, I realize how burnt out I was. I heard a soft knock on my door.

"yeah?" I called out hesitantly.

"it's me, the real me."

I felt the air get caught in my throat.

"come in."

Dean opened the door slowly. I could see the hurt flashing in his eyes at he looked at me. I sat up not meeting his eyes. Dean walked over, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"(y/n), I.."

"you don't have to apologize Dean, I know that wasn't you." I spoke.

"it doesn't make it any less shitty though." He said through gritted teeth.

"or hurt any less." I admitted.

Dean ran a hand through his hair in frustration. I could see that this was really hurting him.

"but you could've killed me, and you didn't, you saved me, you stopped yourself." I said finally meeting his eyes.

"I couldn't kill you. I feel for you too much, even as a demon." Dean whispered, hesitantly looking at me.

I felt my heart swell up at his words.

"what I said, it wasn't true." Dean said, sliding just a bit closer to my body.

"it's okay if part of it was, it's never been me and that's okay." I said feeling my heartache.

Dean looked at me as if I had three heads.

"never been you? It's always been you."

I felt the tears run down my cheeks as Dean put a hand up, caressing one of them.

"Dean I don't know how we move on from this." I cried.

"I don't know either, but we're going to do it, together, just like always."

I smiled at Dean for the first time.

"there's my Dean." I whispered.

Dean leaned in slowly, leaning his forehead against mine.

"did you mean what you said?" Dean asked hesitantly.

I gave him a confused look.

"that you love me, did you mean it?"

I swallowed nervously as I stared at him. I slowly nodded my head adverting my eyes from his gaze. Dean grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.

I gasped as Dean crashed his lips on to mine. I was shocked so naturally I was still. Once my brain processed what was happening I pressed my lips against his, kissing him as if my life depended on it. He pulled away slowly, keeping his forehead pressed to mine.

“I love you too, I always have.” Dean spoke.

I felt the tears well in my eyes again, but these tears were different. These weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of pure love.

Dean smiled as he reconnected our lips together in a heated kiss. It was lustful, neither one of use being able to contain the passion we had felt for each other for far too long.

Dean slid his hands under my shirt, gripping on to my hips as he deepened the kiss. I was so caught up in the moment I ignored my muscles screaming at me to stop. Dean brought my shirt over my head, breaking the kiss just long enough to do so. I felt insecure as my bare chest was now exposed for him. I panted as he brought his lips down to my neck gently kissing over the bruise.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Dean said in between kisses.

I grabbed the hem of his shirt taking it off. I saw the mark of cain glistening on his forearm. I brought his arm to my lips, slowly kissing over the mark. Dean pushed me back on the bed so he was hovering over me. I gasped as his hands slid there way down my body to my shorts.

It was slow and passionate. I felt like my skin was on fire every time his fingertips met my skin. Dean dragged my shorts down my legs, his fingers brushing against my sensitive heat.

I wasted no time putting my hands in his pants yanking them down over his butt and down his legs. I was surprised to feel that he was already fully erect.

“do you want this?” Dean asked kissing my lips.

“more than i’ve ever wanted anything.”

Dean, with my consent slowly slid himself in to me. I groaned as my body adjusted to his large girth. He started to move at a slow pace, savoring the feeling of finally being together so intimately.

“It’s always been you.” Dean said as he thrusted deeply.

I don’t think either of us had the energy for the sex we really wanted to have but this sex was sweet, and full of love. I moaned as Dean picked up the pace, but still savoring the feeling of every thrust inside of me. I brought my hips up matching his thrusts. I was a moaning mess as we thrusted against each other, our lips crashing with each thrust.

“Dean” I moaned signifying that I was close.

Dean thrusted some more, softly but at a steady rhythm. I moaned one last time as I felt myself spilling over the edge. I was gripping him so hard, it cause him to release his arousal too. Dean’s body gave out as he collapsed beside me.

“hey guys I got the… oh god really Dean?” Sam said dropping the bag of food and covering his eyes.

I laughed at him, joined by Dean.

“not even back twenty four hours and this is how you’re spending your time.” Sam groaned in embarrassment.

“blame Cas, he’s the one that told us we should talk.” Dean laughed.

Sam backed out of my room, shutting the door behind him. I gazed at Dean but found out he was already staring at me.

“I didn’t save you, you saved me.” Dean whispered tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“I’ll always save you Dean.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

Author Note:

I really hope you guys like it! If you feel so inclined please leave a heart, comment, reblog or a follow! I appreciate it!

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on-my-vigilante-sht · 2 years ago

Text

I Can’t Leave

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Summary: When the reader is forced into hiding, she’s desperate to inform her fiancé and his son

Warnings: canon level violence, talk of domestic terrorism, some angst, guns

Word Count: 3.2k

Masterlist

“Here you go,” I said, putting a glass of whisky in front of my father. I took my seat across from him, raising my glass. “To the Speaker of the House, part three.”

He smiled, touching his glass to mine before taking drink. “Thank you, dear. So how’s work?”

“It’s good. I mean, as good as hunting down predators and murderers can be,” I sighed. “But it’s good, I feel like I’m doing some good in the world.” I looked up to find my father’s expression falling. “What?”

“I just- uh… well it’s not that I want you to be unhappy but this next thing would be easier if you hated your job,” he chuckled awkwardly. Confused and nervous I urged him to go on. “Well there are some bad people after us, Y/N.”

“Dad, you don’t need to dumb it down. I’m an FBI agent, I take down bad people all the time. What’s going on?”

“Some extremists are after our family. Y/N, they sent death threats… about you specifically,” he said as gently as possible.

“Okay, so? I mean yeah, it’s strange that they were sent about me in relation to you but they’ve sent them to mom. I get them on my own from people we’ve locked up.”

“They suspect that the extremists are working with some members of Congress in the opposing party. Which can be incredibly dangerous for you.”

“So what? You want my team to investigate? I can hang back on this one if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Well I’m glad you’re willing to hang back because… you need to go into hiding.”

I only stared at him, not believing what he was asking. “Did you seriously just ask me to go into hiding?”

“Y/N-”

“No, absolutely not,” I refused. “Dad, I’m an FBI agent. If anyone can protect themselves it’s me.”

“This is serious. I’ve talked to people in Homeland Security, people way above you and your team and they recommended you go into hiding.”

“What about you?” I was visibly upset now. “Are you hiding?”

“I can’t. The houses are already divided and each party is getting more radical. I can’t just leave, especially when I was just reelected.”

“So what makes you think I can just leave? Why can’t I just have body guards?”

“Because your job won’t allow that. I know you’ll run away from them with no regard for your own safety the second a — what is it you call them? Unsub? — when an unsub runs away. Besides, they said you won’t be safe unless everyone thinks you’re dead.”

“Excuse me?” I was angry now. “What could possibly be going on that Homeland Security thinks I need to be dead? Oh my god,” I said suddenly, realizing what my father was asking. “Can I at least tell my team that this is fake?”

He shook his head regretfully. “I’m sorry. Homeland Security wants as few people to know as possible.”

“Can I at least tell Aaron and Jack?” Tears were pricking my eyes now as he shook his head no. “Dad, he’s my fiancé,” I was begging now. “He has a son. Jack is basically my son. He already lost his mother to a bad guy. I can’t leave them. He can’t lose two mother figures.”

“That’s exactly why you need to be protected. So you can be a mother to him again.”

“Can’t you see this will do irreparable damage? Aaron won’t let me back into his life after I knowingly hurt him and his son in a way they’ve already been hurt. You want me to go into hiding? Fine but please let me tell Aaron.”

“I’m sorry dear, my hands are tied. Your death is already being orchestrated now. Your car will be crashed in about 10 minutes.”

My eyes widened as rage filled me. “I don’t even get to see anyone one last time?” I covered my face in frustration. I needed to calm down if I was going to think of a way to communicate with Aaron. “Fine but just let me do one last thing.”

My father nodded eagerly. “I’ll try my best to fulfill that.”

“Part of the reason I came over was to get my old Hot Wheels. I was going to bring them back for Jack. Can they say they were found in the trunk and you said to take them to Jack because I was delivering them?”

He thought for a moment. “I don’t see why not. I’ll ask the agents posing as officers to bring them.”

“Thank you,” I breathed. “I just didn’t want to leave Jack with nothing, you know? I’ll grab them,” I said, heading into my old room. Immediately grabbing a post-it note and a pen.

I’m alive. Tell no one. Love you - Y/N

I folded it up as tight as possible and stuffed it inside the door of a ‘65 Mustang I had once broken the door off of when I was a kid. I then replaced the broken door, which only fell off when you rolled it around, before tossing it into the box with the others.

Aaron had been cooking lunch on one of his few days off, excited for Y/N to return home so they could have some alone time when he heard a knock on the door. Cautiously he grabbed his gun before creeping towards the door silently. Checking the peep hole he spotted two cops. Frowning, he put his gun down behind the door before opening it. Before he could say anything the officer spoke. “Aaron Hotchner?”

“Yes?” he answered hesitantly.

“We’re very sorry to inform you but your fiancée, Y/N L/N, has passed.” Every ounce of hurt Aaron had ever felt hit him all at once. All the shots, stabs, and the countless punches Aaron had ever felt. This hurt more than Haley, which at the time he had thought would be the worst pain of his life. He didn’t even hear what the cops were saying until they mentioned his son. “We found these. We spoke to Y/N’s father and he said she was bringing them back here to Jack.”

Aaron stared down at the box that was filled near to the brim with Hot Wheels. The same toys that Jack and her had been so excited to play with together. He took the box before quietly shutting the door, wanting to be alone. Setting the box on the kitchen counter he leaned up against it, letting his agony consume him. He couldn’t even make tears fall as empty sobs wracked his body. Aaron was consumed with anger, hurt, sadness, any and every emotion associated with grief. But most of all he was trying to figure out what to say to his son. How could he tell Jack that yet another mother figure was taken from him?

Unable to handle anything he texted his sister-in-law that he had to go into work and asked her to take Jack for the night.

Aaron completely lost the rest of the day. He felt like he was in some sort of haze. He only “woke up” when he started going through Y/N’s Hot Wheels collection, desperate to hold onto her. When he stumbled upon the ‘65 Mustang he was consumed with memories. The first time he had met her parents she had showed him her old room including this exact car. She told him that she used to pass secret messages with her friends in this car. Curiously he fiddled with the door until it popped out. Peering inside he was surprised to see a note stuffed into it. Anxious about what he’d find he pulled out that note that had been very tightly folded.

Without even reading it yet Aaron already felt emotion consume him at the sight of her handwriting. Pushing through he read the note.

I’m alive. Tell no one. Love you - Y/N

He read and reread the short note trying to convince the whisper in his mind that it was in fact for him and Jack. Y/N’s father’s reelection had caused some sense of insurrection in radical groups and he had heard rumors of death threats against her family but they had received death threats in the past. They must have gotten worse and more targeted for Homeland Security to force her into hiding. He also knew she’d never fake her death without telling him and Jack and judging by the nature of the note being smuggled in she hadn’t known about the plan.

While he was relieved to know she was alive but afraid for her safety. If a threat was bad enough to force her underground it must be serious. And he still had to deal with the worst part of it… telling the team and explaining the situation to Jack.

He texted his sister-in-law again that their jet was delayed so he could take Jack for the night and bring him to school tomorrow. Just 15 minutes later Jack was back in his home.

After his son got settled in, Aaron went into his room. “Dad, where’s Y/N?”

Aaron hesitated for a second. “Um yeah, about that…” he had no clue how his young son would handle the news. Especially after Haley had already been killed. “Well first of all, Y/N is okay. She’s safe with a bunch of people to protect her but she’s going to be gone for a little while. Some people are angry at her father and well… they’re threatening to hurt her so some very powerful people think it’s best that she hide for a little while until she’s safe.”

“Is it like the people who hurt mom?” Jack asked with innocent eyes.

That hit Aaron like a bullet. He wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. “Sort of. They want to hurt her family but this is about something bigger than her family or our family.” He didn’t really think it’d be a great idea for him to explain the intricacies of domestic terrorism to his son right before bed. “But you can’t tell anyone about this, understood? We weren’t even supposed to know she’s alive. Not the team, not your aunt, not your teacher, not your friends. It could be really dangerous for Y/N.”

Jack nodded. “Okay dad. When will Y/N come back? In time for the wedding?”

Aaron also didn’t need the reminder that your wedding was supposed to be in two months. “I don’t know but I hope so buddy. I hope so…”

The next day at work Aaron was trying to work up the nerve to speak to everyone about Y/N’s death. There was a case about some women who looked like her and he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe this was connected but he knew he wouldn’t be able to share his theories with anyone.

As everyone filtered in they were all wondering about Y/N. “Hey, Hotch, where’s Y/N?” Morgan asked.

Aaron sighed heavily. “About that… I learned yesterday that um…” this was difficult to say even though he knew it was a lie, “Y/N was killed in a car crash yesterday. I thought this news needed to be said in person rather than over the phone.”

The room was left in shocked silence for a moment until Derek spoke. “Hotch I’m so sorry.” Everyone was keenly aware that this would be the second woman their Unit Chief loved that died.

“It’s not just my loss. It’s all our losses,” he deflected, the always altruist boss.

“How’s Jack handling it?” JJ asked.

“He’s not ready to talk about it so I’m giving him some time. I can’t imagine it’s easy losing another mother figure.”

“How are you handling it?” Rossi asked.

That was a question he didn’t know how to answer. Truthfully he wasn’t okay even though he knew his fiancée was alive because he knew dangerous people were after her. “I can’t really afford to think about it right now. Wheels up in 15, we’ll debrief on the plane.”

1 Year Later

Even though his fiancée was still alive he was still reeling from her loss. It was hard having absolutely no contact and no updates about the status of her or her case.

He was filling out case reports when he heard a knock at his door. “Come in,” muttered not looking up. After not hearing anything in response he looked up to find Y/N’s father, the Head of the Secret Service, Mark Sullivan, and the Secretary of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge. “Sirs, how can I help you.”

“This is about my daughter,” the Congressman began. “She’s alive.” Aaron wasn’t sure if he should reveal that he knew that or not.

“You already knew,” the Sullivan observed.

“Yes, I did. Y/N sent me a note,” he admitted.

“Has she had any contact with you since?” Ridge asked.

“She hasn’t. What’s happened?” he knew they wouldn’t come to him at work unless they needed profilers.

“It’s been a year since Y/N went underground. She’s been bouncing around various countries and they’ve somehow managed to follow her without us making any headway on the investigation. And we’d like the BAU to help us track these terrorists down.”

“I’ll have my team on it. Where are we going?”

“Brazil.”

In less than an hour the entire team was on the plane with Garcia calling in. “Why are we headed to Brazil? We don’t have jurisdiction there,” Reid asked.

“There’s a very high profile victim being hunted by a small domestic terrorist organization. The Brazilian government wants them out and they’ve given us full jurisdiction over any US citizens there as well as the ability to question any Brazilian citizens as long as they’re arrested by Brazilian officers or agents.”

“So who’s the vic?” Emily asked.

“It’s Y/N,” Aaron admitted. It felt like he had just released a breath he had been holding for a year. “She didn’t actually die in a car crash, she had been in hiding.”

The plane erupted into angry yells and confused conversations. “Hotch how could you not tell us?” Derek asked angrily.

“I know you’re all confused and angry, so was I. I wasn’t even supposed to know, Y/N had to smuggle me a note. As far as I know she never knew she was being forced into hiding until it was too late for her to say goodbye.”

“Still you should’ve told us,” Derek seethed angrily. He felt lied to by his boss and one of his closest friends. Both of which were always supposed to have his back.

“Enough, Derek,” Aaron said sternly, silencing the plane. “If you want to be angry be angry at the terrorists threatening her but I was just trying to protect her and she was trying to protect Jack and I. Like it or not this is bigger than you and I will remove you from this case if you can’t keep your emotions in check. Got it?” Derek begrudgingly agreed and soon enough the team was discussing theories.

It took a week full of interviews, analysis, dead ends, hundreds of suspects, and more fake names than they could count but the BAU finally tracked down the terrorist organization that sent one of their agents running. And along with with their investigation they had found where their teammate was hiding. Every member of the BAU wanted to rush over but they couldn’t afford to send the terrorists underground again so they waited for them to make a move.

As soon as the BAU got word that terrorists were moving in on Y/N’s location they headed over. Aaron’s heart was beating out of his chest the entire ride over. Terrified that they wouldn’t reach his fiancée in time.

They pulled up to the small cottage just as Aaron spotted some men dressed in camouflage creeping around the house. Aaron barely put the car in park, too anxious to get to his love. “FBI! Put down your weapons and step away from the house,” he ordered as the rest of the team and several other soldiers stormed out of the cars.

Seeing as they were outnumbered several of the terrorists put their guns down and raised their hands in surrender. The same couldn’t be said for the mercenaries at the back of the cottage as he heard a window shatter and several yells from inside. Immediately going for the door he had to knock it down, stumbling inside to find a stand-off. Y/N was stood half shielded by two guards with her gun raised at a few terrorists. The guards he recognized as Secret Service also had their guns raised and they were yelling.

“It’s over,” Aaron announced as soldiers appeared into the window, drastically outnumbering the two men who had their guns aimed at Y/N. One took a shot and he was instantly put down by at least five bullets aimed at him. The partner seemed to have been accidentally been hit because he went down with a yell. But Aaron didn’t care about him, he was concerned about Y/N. He looked over, finding her tending to one of her guards who had suffered a bullet to the arm. Her hands were covered in blood and Aaron wasn’t thinking rationally as he reached her. “Are you okay?” he asked, gently grasping her shoulders.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Can you call an ambulance?”

“Sure,” he agreed hurriedly. “This is Agent Hotchner, we have two suspects down and a wounded agent. Send medical assistance immediately.” By now the other guard and some soldiers who had medical training were attending to the wounded agent and pushing Y/N away. “Y/N,” he called, dragging her attention away from the guard.

She looked at him, really looked at him for the first time in a year. “Aaron,” she began to cry, throwing herself at him. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for leaving,” she sobbed against his bulletproof vest.

“Hey, no, it’s okay,” he hushed, squeezing her tightly and stoking his fingers through her hair. “I know you didn’t want this. Thank you for sending that note to Jack and I.”

“I couldn’t bear the thought of either of you losing someone again,” she explained. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

Masterlist

#aaron hotchner #hotch #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader

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eldritch-nightmare · 6 months ago

Note

hi hi !! i was wondering if you could make any creepypastas of your choice (but if you can please include toby) with a final girl reader? you know that cliche of slasher movies, thank you <3

a/n: fun fact abt me my favorite final girls r carly from house of wax and princess from laid to rest. and arkin from the collector. he is everything to me. honestly wasn't all too sure who i wanted to put in this so i just sorta chose at random?? idk maybe in the future i can use this premise for some of the others if u guys want that. this is really short nd kinda bad tho and i apologize for that. i'm trying to ease myself back into writing so tht might b why tbh

warnings: not proofread. pre-relationship?? the romance isn't really there for the most part but the obsession is, attempted murder, gn reader, reader has a younger brother in lj's part, laughing jack is probably actually his own warning i think he's kinda. kinda fucked up in this. many mentions of attempted harm to a child.

includes: ticci toby, jeff the killer, and laughing jack.

TICCI TOBY

He had been tasked to kill you. He doesn't know the reason, nor does he really care. Maybe you knew too much, or maybe Slender had other reasons. Whatever they were, you had to die.

And Toby rarely ever messed up an assignment. He never had any issues killing anyone. Sure, they typically fought back, but he'd always get them in the end. He didn't think you'd be any different.

He was rather... surprised, to put it simply, when you proved to be a challenge.

You didn't want to die, so you fought back. Hard. Honestly, it was impressive how determined you were to live. He's never really met someone like you before.

This is one of those very rare times where he's a bit glad he can't feel pain, because if he could feel the pain he gained from you fighting back, he probably would've blacked out from it.

The only reason you get away the first time is because you had stabbed him one too many times and he didn't really want to bleed out and die, thank you very much.

He still had a job to finish though, so you fighting back meant nothing to him. He was told to kill you, and that's what he planned on doing.

It didn't matter how long it took. Though, as time went on, Toby couldn't help but find himself wondering what he would do with himself when he actually killed you.

He's never found any joy in hunting someone down, but he finds himself strangely excited when it comes to you. It's the first time he's ever felt this way for someone he was meant to murder.

He doesn't really want to let that excitement go just yet, and maybe he's delusional but it almost seemed as if you were having fun with these little life-or-death chases you two had.

Maybe he lets you get away a few times. You would've been dead a long time ago if he hadn't found you interesting.

And who knows... maybe he can convince Slender that you're a worthy candidate to be a proxy... that way, he won't have to kill you.

JEFF THE KILLER

Absolutely thrilled at the idea.

Jeff is a big fan of horror movies, and he's always dreamed of having some final girl type of person that he could never kill.

Key word. He dreamed of it. He's not a big fan of it when it actually finally happens, not at first.

You were annoying, always somehow dodging his knife and managing to fight back against him long enough to make your escape.

Now, normally, Jeff would've just dropped you and gone on with his killing spree. He didn't have to kill you, and it's not like he's scared of you going to the police. He's already on the FBI's most wanted, trust me, he couldn't care less.

But there was a thrill that went through him whenever he got close to killing you. Each time he's able to cut you, he feels his heart pound in his chest.

It reminds him of when he first started killing, and that feeling was becoming addictive.

He didn't even realize how obsessed he had become with killing you until he actually got the chance to kill you. He had you cornered, and there was nowhere for you to go.

He could've ended it right then and there, but he hesitated. Jeff the fucking killer hesitated to actually kill someone. What the fuck? That made no sense.

The hesitation was enough that it gave you a chance to get away, leaving Jeff alone to ponder why he had hesitated.

And during that time, he left you alone.

But trust me, once he finally figures out why he hesitated, he'll be back. You can't escape him.

LAUGHING JACK

Hates it and hates you. Your little brother was supposed to be an easy kill. He had been so desperate for a friend, neglected by his parents, that he was eager to let Jack into his life.

But then you had to come home for the holidays, and suddenly it was hard to get the brat alone without you being around. The only time he could torment your brother was when everyone else in the house was asleep.

When your little brother went to you crying about how his friend Jack was being mean, telling him horrible things, you weren't supposed to fucking believe the kid. You were supposed to be like the others, brushing off the kid's concerns and sending him back to bed.

But you didn't. You believed your brother, and now you can fucking see him, and he hated it. Oh, he wanted to kill your little brother so badly, but he wanted to kill you more for ruining all the fun.

All of the torment on your little brother stops, and instead he starts tormenting you instead. His ultimate goal was to get you to kill your little brother. It would be a satisfying thing for him to see. And maybe even poetic. You're trying so hard to protect him, and you end up being the one to kill him... that would be nice.

But you don't make it easy for him.

Seeing your fear was entertaining, especially when he was able to strike at your insecurities. At some point, he found that he didn't mind how long this little plan of his would take. He just wanted to see what made you cry. What scared you? What had you reeling away in disgust? What made you laugh?

Okay, that last one confuses him and he does not at all want to know what makes you laugh. No. No he does not.

Sometimes, he doesn't even torment you. He just silently watches you, which you find to be arguably worse than him actually trying to cause you harm.

It felt like he was studying you whenever he did that, and you hated it.

And Jack finds himself struggling to hate you the longer this takes. You've become interesting. He finds himself looking forward to seeing you, and he finds himself admiring you whenever you end up smiling when he's around.

Though, that's not something he's quite ready to admit yet.

#anon #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby x you #jeff the killer x reader #jeff the killer x you #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack x you

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deancaspinefest · 10 months ago

Text

Something Happening Somewhen

Author: allthismusic | Artist: eggchef

Posting on Wednesday March 27

Dean is 24 years old, and a quiet night at a California dive bar turns into a near death experience turns into a trip through time thanks to the stranger he meets in the bar. When he lands in the bunker twenty years into his future, he finds out who the stranger is — and what his relationship is to Dean’s own older self. Dean’s not sure what he thinks about this at first, but when Cas takes him back to his own time (accompanied by the older Dean, who is determined to make sure that nothing they do in the past screws up their lives in the future), he gets to know the angel, and he gets a glimpse at a future he never would’ve dreamed that he might be able to have.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

In the cool evening air, Dean looks around. He’d left the Impala back parked at the dingy motel where he’d rented a room, but he’s not quite ready to call it a night. He opens his remaining beer and looks down the street to see if there’s another bar nearby that might be worth checking out, but before he can make a decision he hears the door to the bar he has just left open behind him. And he knows, he just /knows/, that it isn’t some other random patron headed home.

“What the hell is this, huh?” Dean asks, “Something about ‘not interested’ you’re not getting?”

And then the guy says his name.

“Dean,” the man begins, and Dean gets it.

“Oh, lemme guess, my dad tell you to check up on me?” Dean asks. He doesn’t wait for an answer, just begins to walk, knowing the man will follow. He’s a hunter, obviously. Explains the build, and the suit that is only meant to pass muster at a brief glance, like the fake police badge or FBI creds the guy probably carries. Dean should’ve clocked him from the start.

And for some reason John had thought that Dean needed checking up on. That he couldn’t be trusted to go it alone, nevermind the fact that he had finished the hunt his dad had sent him on two whole days ago and had yet to receive any new case coordinates from John.

To Dean’s surprise, he hears a laugh behind him. He stops, and now he does turn to face the guy again.

“No,” the man says. “I’ve lost count of how often I’ve been told I’m bad at following orders, but even if that wasn’t the case, I wouldn’t follow your father’s.”

“Oh yeah? Then how do you know my name?” Dean demands.

“You left your wallet on the bar,” the man replies, holding it up. It’s definitely Dean’s: worn black leather, secondhand from his dad, containing a meager number of bills and at least three fake IDs tucked behind a real one— well, real first name, although it gives his surname as Campbell, just in case.

“Oh,” Dean says, wondering for the second time that night if he has misjudged this guy’s intentions. Maybe he’s just a normal businessman trying to do a good deed for the day and return a lost wallet, despite the wallet’s owner being an absolute weird freak toward him. “Thanks.”

The man offers the wallet out to him, almost gently, like he’s proffering a bit of food to a scared, stray dog, and Dean steps forward to take it. “It’s your birthday,” he says, and before Dean can ask, the man explains, “I saw it on your ID. On one of them, anyway.” Dean nods. “Happy birthday,” the guy says. “I should’ve bought you a beer.”

(continue reading on Ao3 on Wednesday March 27)

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic #deancas fic #destiel art #deancas art #pinefest 2024 #pinefest previews #2024 Dean/Cas Pinefest #author: allthismusic #artist: eggchef #Pre/Post-Series Time Travel Fic #Established Relationship (and non-Established Relationship)

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matthew-gray-gubler-lover · 8 days ago

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Baby it's cold outside

Fluff.

An unplanned pregnancy. Reader not being too sure if Spencer's going to be happy about being a dad. Spencer being absolutely overjoyed about being a dad.

You want to wait until Christmas to tell Spencer that you're pregnant with his baby but after a day out in the snow, you can't wait any longer.

(Four years ago)

Your life was Forever changed Accident that Happened one day In a coffee shop It was a snowy And Windy day out and you needed a cup of coffee really bad. You ordered your usual cup of coffee and took out your gift card to pay. Only to have the barista tell you that you didn't have enough left on your card.

" You need another $1.29" The barista tells you, As she stands behind the counter chomping on gum looking at you judgingly.

" Oh, OK, I thought that I had enough left on here. OK, let me see if I have another $1.29" You say, opening up your purse and quickly looking through it. Some of the items in your purse ending up being tossed on the coffee Shop counter.

The barista Rolling her eyes at you, As she continues Chewing on her gum loudly. The long line behind you starting to grumble.

And that's when you Felt a tap on your shoulder. you were Sure that it was an angry customer behind you getting ready to yell at you for not having enough money in your purse.

You turn around and see a man with brown hair Wearing a Purple sweater and a crossbody bag.

" Let me help you. I have the money for it. It's OK. I'll cover your coffee today" The man smiles warmly at you.

" Oh my gosh, thank you so much" You say with the relief that it wasn't someone getting ready to yell at you, but also you had a little bit of guilt given that this man had to pay for your coffee.

" Don't worry about it, these kinds of things happen" He tells you, handing a $5.00 bill to the woman behind the counter. Who suddenly doesn't look so angry.

You stand there Looking at the man You find him very cute.

" OK, here you go, enjoy your coffee" The man tells you, smiling, and then turns around to order his own coffee.

You sat down at a table after adding your cream and sugar to your coffee. And waited for the man who paid for your coffee to walk by so you could thank him properly.

After you saw him add an alarming amount of sugar to his coffee He come walking by your table.

You stood up and thanked him.

" I wanted to thank you for paying for my coffee, that was really sweet of you"

" Oh, you're welcome. I couldn't just let you stand there and try to find the money to pay for your coffee Everybody makes mistakes. You didn't know that. You didn't have enough coffee bucks left" he said with a smile.

" Well, I would have had enough left, but it was a birthday present And I bought myself a Danish to go with my coffee on my birthday and went home and put a candle in it and pretended that it was my birthday cake" You told him, not really sure why you felt so comfortable talking to him.

" Oh, that's really sweet" He responded.

" Would you like to sit down?" You asked the man

He looked at his watch and said "sure, I can sit down. I I have some time before I have to be to work" He pulled out the chair and sat down.

" I should probably tell you my name since you paid for my coffee so hi i'm Y/N"

" Oh, hello, I'm Spencer Reid"

" Thank you Spencer Reid for saving my day. It's really cold and the heat in my apartment doesn't work too well, so I came out in this horrible weather to get a hot coffee"

"Only to find out That you have ran out of money on your card, that's just sad"

"It is, but that's pretty much my life So umm, what do you do?" You can't believe that you're even asking this question But there's just something about Spencer Reid that makes you feel comfortable

" Well, I work for the FBI of the BAU actually Behavioral Analysis Unit, we pretty much hunt down the bad guys" He tells you before taking a sip of coffee like it's no big deal.

You were so intrigued by Spencer. The two of you ended up meeting at this coffee shop every chance you could. You found yourself being sad every time he wasn't there, knowing that he was away on a case.

After two months, these Meeting at the coffee shop mornings Led to more It led to a movie date. It led to him showing you his apartment. It led to his teammates noticing There was something different about him.

Until one day, Spencer Reid asked you to be his wife. The two of you were married on Valentine's Day, the day of love, the perfect day for the two of you.

(Present day)

Spencer finally has two weeks off, And it could not have come at a better time. Given it is Only a week until Christmas, so that means one week before Christmas and one week after Christmas that way the two of you can spend together. Even though you have been married for three years already It's still something so special to share with Spencer.

Both of you are so excited and have lists of things that you want to do together Spencer didn't really have Christmases growing up, So it was something that was so wonderful for him, spending time with you, decorating the Christmas tree Putting lights around the house and building snowmen.

Over the past week, the two of you baked cookies together, watched Christmas movie's, Drank Hot chocolate. And stood at the window of your apartment, watching the snow fall.

Not to mention the Christmas pajamas That the two of you have been wearing. Matching Christmas pajamas, something that Spencer never thought that he would wear before he met you.

Pajamas that had Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Frosty the Snowman. The Grinch. As well as sets that had gingerbread cookies, regular snowmen And Santa Claus.

You enjoyed snacking on candy canes together. And eating other holiday snacks.

Spencer did notice you getting a little bit tired lately, and you have said a few times this week that you weren't feeling well for a little bit in the morning, Spencer just thought that it was all of the excitement that the two of you have been having together, all of the happiness and joy of the season.

Today you and Spencer are going ice skating. Of course Spencer is a pro at it even though it's his first time ice skating.

You, however, not so much.

The building of snowmen. Snowball fights All of that you could do, but ice skating you just couldn't quite get it, but you wanted to try.

Spencer held on to you as you tried skating. After he laced up your ice skates, the pink ice skates the Penelope gave to you for Christmas last year after you had told her that you would love to have gone ice skating with Spencer.

" You're doing great, honey" Spencer tells you lovingly.

" Really. Because I feel like I'm doing a horrible job of it. The only reason I'm not landing on my butt is because you're holding me" you tell him with a loud chuckle.

" And I'm going to keep holding on to you because I don't want you being all bruised up and in pain for Christmas" he tells you before kissing you on the cheek. as he still holding on to you.

" After at least Half hour of this, you decide that you want to be self-sufficient and you are going to skate on your own, even though, truth be told, you wouldn't mind if Spencer stayed holding you like this, skating around the ice rink for the rest of the day,

" OK, I'm going to go for it" You tell him with a thumbs up.

" Are you sure? I don't mind still holding on to you" Spencer tells you is he reluctantly lets you go.

" Yeah, I can do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a big girl. I'm going to be a brave girl and I'm going to skate all on my own" You say with confidence.

Spencer can't help but laugh at this, the fact that his Wife is saying that she wants to be a big girl.

" OK, go for it my Beautiful Wife" He Tells You taking both hands off of you now.

You barely make it anywhere at all before you fall down and land sack on the ice

" Oh no!!" you yell out.

Spencer comes Skating back over to your side and picks you up.

" Are you OK, honey?" He asks, picking you up with ease off of the ice. Standing you securely back up on your pink ice skates as you lean against him.

Tears start filling up your eyes as you remember hitting the ice. It's not really so much about the pain that you're feeling, it's about the little one that is growing inside of you. As much as it hurt landing on that ice Your main concern was that you did not damage yours And Spencer's baby.

"Y/N You OK, honey? Please answer me, you're crying. Are you OK?" Spencer asked, his voice filled with worry.

You could hear Spencer but couldn't quite make out what he was saying. It wasn't until he started brushing his fingertips along your cheek that you come back to reality.

"Y/N Please answer me, are you OK? Did you hit your head?"

Finally hear what he is saying and look up at him and answer.

" Yeah, Yeah I just landed on the ice really hard" You told him as you panted.

" This is Exactly what I said. I didn't want to happen. You know, statistically people get hurt more just walking down the street Then they do ice skating. But I didn't want you to get hurt. I'm so sorry, honey. I shouldn't have let go" He tells you. His voice filled with guilt, As he runs his hands up and down your arms, trying to make sure that you are warm.

" No Spence, It's my fault. You told me that you didn't want to let go of me. I knew that I'm not a good skater and I shouldn't have let you let go of me" You tell him.

" I know that you're not a good skater, which is exactly why I shouldn't have let you go"

You put your left hand on Spencer's face and hold it there. Your hand is beyond freezing Especially the medal from your wedding ring and you really should have worn mittens, but Spencer doesn't even mind.

" Please don't blame yourself, it's all on me. It was my idea to even come out here and I skate. I think we should just go home now" You tell him.

" I do too. We'll go home and we'll drink some hot chocolate. I'll get you some ice if you're in pain. Maybe some ibuprofen, We can watch Movies in our Christmas pajamas, just you and me in our own little Christmas paradise" Spencer tells you as he glides you to the edge of the rink and walks you to the bench before he removes your ice skates.

You can't help but smile, looking down at him is he unties the skates that he had put on you just a little bit ago.

The two of you home and you Walk into the door together, Spencer telling you Did you should go upstairs and take a shower to warm up.

You shake your Head yes and give a audible yes.

As you do, Spencer gets the water ready and the packets of hot Chocolate so that they will be ready by the time you come out of the shower.

The shower does help warm you up, When you get out and dry off, you put on your black pajamas with candy canes That are all over them, Spencer set them out for you so you know that he's going to be wearing his matching pair.

You open the bathroom door and walk into your bedroom, where you see Spencer already laying in bed beneath the cushy Christmas Comforter.

" Hi honey, are you feeling better now?" Spencer asks, leaning up a little bit so that he can reach out for your hand.

" Yeah, I feel a little better, And you sure look comfy"

" I am very comfortable here with our Christmas sheets and our Christmas comforter hot chocolate And a Christmas movie awaiting for us to watch" You pointing out all of the things that are in the bedroom.

When you get closer to the bed, he puts his hand out for you and helps pull you into the cozy, warm bed Before putting an arm around you and cuddling you close.

" Are you sure you're OK? Are you in pain?" He asks you Genuinely concerned.

" No, I'm not really in pain right now. I'm sure I will be tomorrow, but that's OK. I have something that I want, will actually. I do want to tell you, but I need to tell you"

"ok" He says, his voice laced with concern, not really knowing what you're going to tell him. Are you breaking up with him? Do you want a divorce?"

" It's nothing bad, it's just something that I need to tell you"

Spencer lets out a sigh of relief.

" OK, what is it, honey?"

" Well, why I was so upset that I fell on the ice wasn't because it hurt. And I mean, it did hurt. Don't get me wrong, it hurt a lot, but it's because" you Stopped talking, looking down at Spencer's hand on yours.

" it's because?" He repeats the last two words that you said.

You take a deep breath for two reasons. One, because you really wanted to tell him on Christmas morning, and two, you're still not really sure how happy he's going to be about it.

" It's Because I'm pregnant" You told him, looking into his eyes to see if he was happy.

" You're pregnant?, You're really pregnant?, We're having a baby?, we made a baby?, I'm going to be a dad?" Spencer asked all these questions, his voice so happy.

" Yes, you're going to be a dad, I wanted to wait to tell you on Christmas morning, but since you were so upset about me falling on the ice and you thought that I was upset with you because of it, I was just upset because I thought that I might have hurt our baby" You explained quickly.

"I can't believe I'm going to be a dad" Spencer says so happily Before putting his hand on your stomach. " But how did it happen? We're so careful"

" Well, we're not always careful. Remember the week before Halloween? We went to the pumpkin patch and then we carved the pumpkin and you kissed me and one thing led to another. We weren't careful that night" You remind him.

" Oh yeah, I remember that night, So then you Didn't mean for this to happen?" Spencer asked. You almost a little sad now.

" I didn't plan for it to happen, but I'm glad that it did" You tell him.

" So am I, I'm so glad" He told you Before lifting up your shirt a little bit and kissing your stomach.

" Hi baby, I can't wait to meet you This is your daddy, by the way I'm so looking forward to meeting you" He looks up at you and holds your hand. Just think, this time next year we'll have a baby. We'll have to get matching pajamas for the baby too"

You're so happy that Spencer is so happy about this.

" Yes, we will, I'm so glad that you're happy, Spencer. I wasn't sure how you were going to take it"

" You thought I wasn't going to be happy. Why?"

" Well, I was just thinking about how, you know, you're going to come home from a long hard case and you're going to be tired and just want to go to sleep and you're not going to want to have to deal with a crying baby. And then when it gets older, it's going to be Throwing itself on you when you come home and saying daddy, daddy, I missed you" You tell him all of the things that you thought about.

" I'm not going to mind at all and I'm not going to be doing cases anymore. Now that we're having a baby, I'm going to quit my job at the BAU and I'm going to teach full time then. That's what Blake did. She left the BAU to teach full time. That would be a safer job for me and then I can come home every day to you and our baby"

" Spencer, you love working at the BAU. You're the hero. You're the good Guy that gets the bad guys, I don't want to take that from you"

" Yes, I am the hero and I do love being the hero and I will continue to be one. I'm going to be a hero to my family. I will be teaching other people how to be the heroes"

" Are you sure, Spencer?"

" Oh, absolutely. Then I can come home every day to you. I want to be a part of every part of the pregnancy and every part after it. I want to be there for every doctor's appointment, when we find out if we're having a boy or a girl, Through the morning sickness and the cravings, I want to be there when our baby is born, holding your hand, cheering you on. I want to see our baby when it's first born, I want to be there for my baby. I want to be there for the baby's first kitchen sink bath, Their first bath in the real tub, The diaper changes, the bottles, their first bite of real food, Their first day of school. The first time they fall in love, I even want to be there for the bad stuff when they're sick, when they have an earache, even when they have their first heartbreak. I want to be there for all of it, I don't want to be a dad like mine was. I will never, ever leave you Or our baby, Not ever" Spencer reassures you as he still has his hand on your stomach.

" Daddy's going to be here for you through every step of the way, You know, I believe that they can hear stuff in there. That's why I told JJ when she was pregnant with Henry to put earphones on her stomach, so he didn't have to hear all of that bad stuff. and so I'm going to read to our baby every day" Spencer gasps "A Christmas Carol. I own the book A Christmas Carol. I'm going to read it to the baby"

"OK" you say with a laugh.

" And not to brag, but I also know how to deliver a baby. I mean, I studied The instruction manual When JJ was pregnant, just in case I had to Deliver Henry if JJ was out in the field. That never happened, but I didn't actually deliver a baby when we were on a case and that boy was it something The Unsub was standing right over me As I was delivering the baby and then the mother actually named the baby after me" He said with a big smile, so proud of what he had done.

" Oh yeah, I remember that. Wasn't that the same day that you took me to the closing of Rossi's favorite bar and we all sang karaoke together? Well, just about everyone did. As I remember, Blake and Hotch didn't join us on the stage"

" That's right, that was the day"

" Well, hopefully there won't be an issue like that when I go into labor, but I still want you to be there"

" And I will be, I promise I will be. I'm going to go into the station first thing in the morning and tell them that I'm not going to be an agent anymore. I'm going to be a teacher"

Spencer took you to the station with him so that we could tell everybody about the baby.

Morgan came over and of course he had a comment.

" So pretty boy and pretty girl got together and made a pretty baby. I'm happy for you Reid, I really am" he told him as he hugged Spencer.

Everyone congratulated both of you and said that they were going to miss Spencer, but they know that they will still be a part of your life's as well as your future child.

The next few months went buying a flash. you started getting items for the baby not knowing If you were, having a boy or a girl made it a little bit difficult, so you just bought some neutral colors for things until we found out.

Then the day came that you could find out if it was a boy or a girl. Matthew and you were so excited. He held your hand as the doctor moved the little ball around your stomach from the ultrasound machine.

Then we heard the words " You're having a baby girl"

they couldn't be happier. they left the doctor's office and went to the store buying everything that we could for our little girl. We are now going to make the nursery Disney Princess.

Before they knew it, the big day had arrived.

Spencer was there from start to finish, just like he said he would be, holding your hand, cheering you on, and when the nurse handed him his baby girl, he couldn't be happier.

The next Christmas was even more special now that you are a family.

all of you Wearing your matching Christmas pajamas. Red pajamas with Santa Claus on them.

Life had never been more magical for Spencer Reid. He has more than he ever thought that he would ever have.

The love of his life and now a little girl He loves more than he ever thought possible.

"You know what, Spencer? I think running out of money on my gift card was the best thing that ever happened to me" You tell Spencer, looking over at him as he holds your daughter.

" Really. Why is that?"

" Because that's How I Met you, I think running out of money on my gift card was the best gift I was ever given"

Spencer can't help but agree with you, If it hadn't been for your card running out of money He never would have talked to you, and you wouldn't be sitting here right now in your cozy little home on Christmas morning with your own little family.

#spencer reid #mgg #doctor spencer reid #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #dr reid #reid

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veryace-ficrecs · 2 months ago

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Supernatural Outsider POV Fic Recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

God Killer by h0lm3stuck - Rated G

“There’s no way,” Austell says. “That’s——he looks like someone’s dad.” Someone’s criminally hot dad, but still. He’s not splattered with blood with a haunted look in his eyes, not itching for a fight, not toting a bloodthirsty angel along on a leash. Jeanie has to be wrong, there’s no other way around it. “No fucking way is that Sam Winchester,” Austell mutters. “That’s Dean,” Jeanie unhelpfully corrects. “Why do you look so scared?” She laughs. “He doesn’t bite.”

Attached to His Hip by sabarah23 - Rated G

The first time Jeremy saw the green-eyed boy, he had an infant attached to his hip. - or 5 times Dean was a dad in spirit only, and 1 time it was in name, too.

Story Time by Ltleflrt - Rated G

I like to imagine that someday when Dean and Sam and Castiel have finally saved the world, and are able to settle down, that Dean and Cas will get married and settle in a little town and Dean will make friends with all the neighborhood kids. He’ll keep an eye on them, and keep them out of trouble. And he’ll tell them stories….

Devil's in the House by glorious_spoon - Rated G

In which Sam hustles pool to pay for his textbooks, and an unexpected opponent turns up. Pre-series, outside POV.

Superheroes by aeli_kindara - Rated T

"I fuckin' hate group projects." Dylan gives Dean a wary glance. He gets it — he’s not the biggest fan of these things himself. But when you’re a group of two, “I fuckin’ hate group projects” is awful close to “I fuckin’ hate working with you.” In which a teenage Dean Winchester makes a friend and leaves something behind, and Sammy doesn't know when to shut up.

Crossovers

Criminal Minds

Monsters in Your Closet by AlbusCorvus - Rated G

When Castiel goes on a hunt alone and is caught by a particular FBI team, the brothers do something they never thought they’d have to. They kidnap SSA Spencer Reid to make an exchange. But being kidnapped by delusional serial killers is nothing like Spencer thought it would be.

Monsters are Real by WhiskyBoys - Rated T

'Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.' Stephen King. The kid sitting in the interview room swings on the rear legs of his chair, throws back his head, and at the top of his lungs, sings a painfully off-key version of 'Wanted Dead or Alive'. Hotch looks at Morgan with one eye-brow arched in question. "You think he's your unsub?"

No Difference by The_Bookkeeper - Rated T

Derek has been in a lot of bad situations. This one easily makes the top five. Or would, if Dean and Sam Winchester were actually acting like the sadistic psychopaths he expected them to be. Instead, Dean is referencing Star Trek, Sam is comforting Reid, and Derek has never been more confused.

Buzzfeed Unsolved

The Bizarre Winchester Murder Spree by Origamidragons - Rated T

“This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved we are discussing two of the most prolific and strangest serial killers in recent history: Sam and Dean Winchester.”

Percy Jackson

We Hitch an Awesome Ride by ariadnes_string - Rated G

Percy and his friends get a lift from some guys who might know as much about monsters as they do.

There's Nothing Weirder Than Teenagers by Calculatrice - Rated G

The kid is blinking startled, sea-green eyes at him, and Sam distractedly thinks that he looks a bit like a lost baby seal. "Who are you?" He asks, as if Sam's identity takes priority over the fact that his friend just threw his body into a lake. ___________________ In which a goth kid attempts to drown his friend, and Sam is suitably concerned.

Empousai and Demigods by Eternally_Sidequesting - Rated T

A hunt gone sideways gives Sam and Dean an idea of just how much they don't know about the supernatural.

Indiana Jones

Remnants by oneiriad - Rated G

It's not always easy to find the thing that's keeping a ghost around - bullwhips doesn't exactly make it any easier.

#veryace recs #supernatural #supernatural fic rec #supernatural fanfiction #outsider pov #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #criminal minds #buzzfeed unsolved #percy jackson #ao3 fic recs #fanfic recs #ao3 #indiana jones

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givemewallywestorgivemedeath · 2 years ago

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I want to tell you about the Flash arc ever: Rogue War.

We start off in the first issue with a totally normal premise. Zoom had escaped jail and was having a romantic fling with Cheetah. The two of them were running around killing people for fun. So naturally Wally and Diana teamed up to stop this horrifying turn of events. Oh and they're also trying to stop the murders as well. Diana was blind for unrelated reasons and she lassoed Wally so that he could act as her seeing eye dog. It's all very normal.

Anyway, so Captain Cold and Captain Boomerang were all doing in-depth research on the Flash family tree. Boy, can I relate to that. Mirror Master hauled in the Turtle for the crime of being... around? I guess? And Weather Wizard found a note tapped to their door inviting the Rogues to a Rogues fight.

In the next issue the Rogues broke the Trickster out of jail and then they tried to hunt down the corpse of the previous Captain Boomerang. It didn't go so well.

Hartley showed up and kidnapped Zoom's wife which was an ABSOLUTELY BALLSY THING TO DO MY GUY. Speaking of kidnappings, Zoom kidnapped Jay because he wanted Jay to build him a cosmic treadmill.

Then we get our Rogue fight. Captain Cold, Mirror Master, Weather Wizard, Captain Boomerang and the new Trickster vs Wally's best friend (Pied Piper), Wally's childhood best friend (Magenta), Heat Wave and the old Trickster. Someone start blasting the John Cena wrestling music because I associate that with massive showdowns and this is one for the century!

But what exactly was the titular character The Flash doing during all of this, I hear you ask. Well. Wally and Linda spent this issue in the doctor's office running tests and finding out that they couldn't have children. It's all very depressing and we're going to move past it because I won't do the scene justice.

Anyway, so the Rogues were fighting each other and we find out that Hartley's team was working for the FBI. They weren't the ones who had sent the Rogues the note inviting them to a Rogue fight. No, they were just a random, convenient grouping of Rogues who happened to have a bone to pick.

Cut to issue three and Wally was at work. He heard on the news that there's trouble going on so naturally he suits up and heads out. He arrived, in the middle of the Rogue fight, and he had no fucking clue what was happening because there were about nine Rogues duking it out in the middle of the street for no reason.

Now there are three teams. The og Rogues, who want to quell the Rogue uprising and find the previous Captain Boomerang's corpse. The FBI Rogues, who have the previous Captain Boomerang's corpse and don't want to give it up for FBI reasons. And Wally, who would really like them to stop breaking skyscrapers please and thank you.

So they're all fighting and causing just an insane amount of damage to the city when all of sudden the Top shows up out of nowhere and is all "Aha! Rogue fight!!" and suddenly there were four teams in this fight. And that's not all! Turns out the Top was the one who left the note and he had his own Rogue team at his beck and call. Girder, Murmur, Plunder, Tar Pit and Double Down now enter the fight.

There were FOURTEEN Rogues all trying to murder each other and Wally was left scrambling to make sure that they a) don't kill each other, b) don't kill him, and c) don't kill any civilians. Wally did knock out Hartley at one point and then Wally brought him back to his house to crash on his couch which was very cash money of him. Wally was like "go sleep off your bad decisions and we'll talk about this over breakfast ❤️"

But yeah, Wally was straight up not having a good time. Captain Cold killed the Top and shattered bits of his body everywhere, fires were raging because Heat Wave decided to go nuts, both Tricksters were battling it out mid air with acid bombs, ect, ect.

While this is all going on, Zoom's wife found Captain Boomerang's body and he was very much a zombie. The FBI wanted a zombie Captain Boomerang for... reasons, I guess? Cap begged for death so Zoom's wife let him die. Terrible timing though because right when he died the new Captain Boomerang barged into the room. See, the new Captain Boomerang was the previous Boomerang's son and he wasn't happy to see what he thought was a random lady killing his father.

So he threatened to kill Zoom's wife.

Not a great idea.

Zoom showed up and took his wife somewhere safe. That safe place was Wally's living room because it's fucking Zoom and he does whatever he wants.

And now we have five teams. The OG Rogues, the FBI Rogues, Top's Rogues, Wally and Zoom. Why was Zoom on his own team? Why wasn't he fighting with a Rogue group? Well, before Zoom was Zoom, he was an FBI analyst who specialized in the Rogues. He hated them with every fiber of his being. Zoom's main goal was to make Wally suffer but killing a bunch of Rogues was irresistible to him. Plus, they threatened his wife.

This was apparently too easy for Wally though. I mean, fourteen Rogues and Zoom at the same time? Pfft. Come on. So naturally Captain Cold called in Dr. Alchemy to distract Wally. Dr. Alchemy apparently thought 'distract' meant 'brutally beat him' because, by god, the man did not go light on the already extremely beat up and tired speedster.

But that's not enough. No, Cold was like "This is still too easy. Call in the big guns." So they brought out Grodd.

16 Rogues and Zoom versus a man who was bleeding out on the floor. Super awesome and fair fight. You love to see it.

Bart ran in at this point and was all "you never invite me to anything fun, Wally". Because Jay's missing and Wally's at deaths door and Bart learned from Wally that you hide your emotions under a layer of sarcasm at all times. Wally genuinely thanked him for the help and, at the realization that this was so serious that they were abandoning snark, Bart responded with a genuine "you're welcome". In one of my favorite blink-and-you'll-miss-it scenes, Bart and Wally stood back to back, surrounded by Rogues, prepared to make their last stand.

Then Zoom swooped in and killed a few. Zoom said his iconic line "I don't give a shit about the Rogue stuff. This is a speedster fight now." (I'm paraphrasing) Zoom grabbed Bart and threatened to snap his neck. Bart said his iconic line "Do it. You won't." (I'm paraphrasing but not as much as you'd think). Zoom then said his iconic line of "SPKFDVL" (not paraphrasing)

At this point Zoom decided that 16 Rogues and himself was WAY too easy for Wally. So naturally he invited Eobard Thawne to the party. Eobard showed up to the fight fashionably late on a cosmic treadmill. One that had Jay chained to the hood like a dead deer.

We still have two issues left people, so buckle up because it doesn't get less insane from here on out.

The Rogues actually had pretty good survival instincts so they took Zoom's whole "speedster fight" thing to heart and they bailed. They got out of there like rats abandoning a burning building.

Wally then showed the world how smart he was and managed to free Bart and Jay. Wally then showed the world how dumb he was and fought Eobard and Hunter on the cosmic treadmill. They then started time traveling with about as much control and finesse as a drunk driver in a snow storm.

They did a hit and run somewhere in the time stream. Poor Captain Boomerang. He got knocked into the arms of Meloni Thawne in the far off future. (And that's how Bart's brother Owen was born)

Hunter's whole plan here was to take Wally back in time to force him to watch Hunter's previous vicious attack on Wally's then pregnant wife, Linda. This attack was devastating as Hunter's attack caused Linda to miscarry the couple's unborn twins. Hunter wanted to make Wally suffer because Hunter thought tragedy would make Wally a better hero.

Eobard's just there cause he likes fucking with people.

So the two of them hold Wally down to make him watch the worst moment of his life when BARRY FUCKING ALLEN SHOWS UP.

You know. The man who has been dead for years.

You see, Barry was also time traveling because of course he was, he's Barry Allen. While Barry didn't have a single clue about what was happening, Barry saw an adult Wally getting beat up and the man went into a rage. That's his KID goddammit.

Barry did his whole best dad thing and gave Wally a pep talk. Wally, for his part, was pretty chill about time traveling Barry because honestly time traveling Barry showing up wasn't really as uncommon of an occurrence as you would think. Barry then dragged Eobard back in time to kill him (not joking).

Okay we're in the end game now.

Wally kicked the shit out of Hunter and threw him in front Linda, shielding her from Hunter's attack. Hunter flipped out and tried to operate the cosmic treadmill but he fucked up and hurled himself through time. Skill issue.

Wally time traveled back to the present where him, Bart and Jay yelled insults at the retreating Rogues because the Rogues were holding them at Turtle point.

The three made a mad dash to the hospital when they heard news that Linda was Not. Okay. Linda went from not pregnant to nine months pregnant in the span of a second because Wally fucked with time. Linda was in labor and EVERYONE WAS FREAKING OUT.

And that's the story of how the West twins were born.

The End.

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storiesofsvu · 2 years ago

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A Dangerous Game Ch 6

Emily Prentiss x reader warnings: language, alcohol, usual BAU case type violence/talk, smut, daddy kink, breeding kink/cum kink..... sorry for the delay on this ch, i just kept getting stuck uninspired to write this week despite desperately wanting to! i hope this week is better but im wokring more shifts and managing this weekend so i doubt it lol send me good vibesis anyone else having trouble with desktop? Like it LAGS so bad when i try to type. Ive swapped browsers, cleared out my computer & i swear its just worse….

You’d reached your six month mark with the BAU, which meant you’d been called into Emily’s office in the middle of a paperwork day, your heart nearly skyrocketing in your chest until you realized what it was about. She praised your work, both in the field and at the home office, commending how good of a fit you were for the team, and that she couldn’t be happier with your placement, and that you were putting down roots here, that you felt comfortable enough to do so. While you had been on edge at first, the meeting relaxed almost instantly, while she was still your superior, there was a sense of comfortability as you talked, laughter and jokes passed back and fourth. Right as you stood from your chair when she’d dismissed you she spoke once again,

“Hey, Pen and I are grabbing drinks after work, you wanna join?”

“You… sure that’s a good idea?” You raised a brow and she chuckled at the meaning behind your words.

“We’re allowed to be friends, aren’t we?”

“Guess we are.” You smiled back, “yeah, that sounds great.”

It may have been your six month mark since starting with the BAU, but today was the start of allowing yourself to be friends with and be seen with Emily while in your home territory. You just reminded yourself that this didn’t mean anything was changing, you’d picked up on it before Emily had even brought it up. Penelope had jokingly asked over coffee if you were scared of Emily, and that there was no reason to be, because under that dark exterior she truly was a softie. You’d laughed it off, saying that at your last posting your superior was strictly that, he’d been the type to not separate work from anything else, keeping the boundaries between employees strict and never hanging out with the team. Thankfully that was enough of an answer for Penelope and she didn’t ask anymore questions.

Medford, Oregon was the next city that the team was called to.

This time the unsub was targeting couples, and after some examination, the team was quick to figure out his hunting ground was spilt between three separate bars, and on a scheduled rotation, it was almost like he wanted to get caught. The profile was made and JJ was the one to announce it on the local news for what to look out for, withholding just the right amount of information to make sure he’d strike again.

“I don’t like this whole sit around and wait tactic.” The local captain grumbled.

“We’re not going to sit around and wait.” Emily pointed out, “we know where he’s going to be tonight.”

“So what? We just stake out the location and pull over anyone suspicious? That’ll be great for business.”

“We’re going to send in some undercovers.” She retorted and it was his turn to laugh.

“I don’t know how the FBI works agent, but that kind of thing takes time out here.”

“Good thing I came with reinforcements.” She practically smirked, glancing through the team, “JJ’s already made herself known… Wilson? How’d’you feel about stepping up?”

“You ask that like I have a choice in the matter.” You laughed, shifting up onto the desk behind you, “yeah I can handle it.”

“Good.” Her eyes danced over everyone for a moment, “you and Morgan will handle this.”

“You two up to that?” The local asked, “this guy, he only takes vics who are guaranteed to leave together, ones who are clearly couples.”

“Oh I think baby girl and I can handle it.” Derek chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist and you groaned, playfully shoving him away from you.

“Morgan keep your hands to yourself until we’re on the job.” You teased and he laughed again, ducking down to kiss your cheek leading you to shove him away from you again.

“We’ll get you two ready and wired up and as much as I want you immersed in your roles please remember that we don’t know what this guy looks like yet, you need to be aware of your surroundings.” Rossi commented and the two of you nodded, assuring him that you were up for the task. Someone had to get this unsub taken down, no matter what kind of pretending you had to do in the meantime.

Voodoo Martini was the location for your little set up that evening, JJ and Spencer set up already inside, separately at opposite ends of the bar. Emily and Dave were monitoring with the sheriff in an unmarked van out front with back up around the block. They’d gone in before the bar opened, outfitting it with cameras to monitor the situation and Emily was currently kicking herself for having to send you in on a case like this one. A last minute shopping trip to accurately fit the part left you in a scoop necked halter top, tits pushed up and practically bouncing with each step you took and a pair of jean shorts that Derek already had his hand in the back pocket of while the two of you approached the entrance to the bar.

His arm wound securely around your waist as you entered the place, glancing around as if you were checking to see if anyone you knew was there tonight. The place was pretty full already, dark with coloured lights highlighting the room, soft strobes over on the dance floor. One wall was lined with booths, high top tables scattered throughout the space and two bars, one in the corner of the dance floor beside the DJ booth that was three steps down from the level you entered on where the other larger bar was. Approaching that, Derek squeezed at your side,

“Grab me a beer sweetheart? I’m gonna run to the bathroom.” He pressed a kiss to your temple and slipped off into the crowd leaving you to greet the bartender.

You ordered the beer for him along with a vodka soda for yourself, turning so your body language was open to the room, eyes surveying the crowd for a moment while you took the first couple of sips of your drink. It wasn’t long after that a guy came up, introducing himself as Brandon and asked if he could buy you a shot, you accepted and turned the flirt on just the right amount. You knew Derek was back before you felt his hand on your waist simply at the way Brandon tensed,

“Miss me?” Derek greeted, his free hand brushing your hair off to the side so he could kiss your neck, pulling you snug to him as you slid the beer in his direction.

“Could you have taken any longer? Fuck.” You nipped at his jaw, “meet Brandon.” You gestured to the other man, who practically squeaked out an excuse about needing to meet his friends before scurrying off and Derek chuckled into your ear, his breath hot on your skin.

“Not our guy.” He murmured.

“He did approach thinking I was alone.” You replied, turning to face him and he kept you close, his free hand moving under your chin, tilting it up to him.

“Yeah?” He raised a brow, “well the guy at ten o’clock has had his eye on you since you walked in and hasn’t stopped staring since I came back.”

“I’m not stupid enough to look, I’ll trust your instinct.”

“You trust my instinct to turn up the heat now then?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow and you held back the urge to roll your eyes.

“These guys are good.” Emily commented from inside the van, “better than I expected.”

“Almost too good.” Rossi replied, gesturing towards the tv, it gave them video access but no audio. Emily’s eyes drifted back toward the screen and widened at the sight of Derek pulling you closer to him as the two of you kissed, “you sure these two aren’t sleeping together?” Dave asked and Emily did her best not to choke on her coffee, letting out a laugh.

“Doubt it.”

“Dunno,” the sheriff cut in, “if two members of my squad looked like that, I’d think they were.”

“Now that I think of it, when we were in Miami I was going to the ice machine and I saw Wilson sneaking back into her room, looked like she was coming from the direction of Morgan’s.”

“You know who would know the answer to this?” Emily was doing her best to shush the topic as quick as she could, Dave glanced toward her with a raised brow, “Garcia.”

“Good call.” He nodded with a small chuckle, turning back to the surveillance in front of them.

Back inside the club, Derek and you mingled, wandering between the bar, a high top table and very reluctantly, you let him drag you out onto the dance floor. You were careful to alternate your drinks with glasses of soda water that looked like they still had booze in them, but still played up the illusion of being drunk. The two of you chatted with more than a few club goers, first to make sure you looked and were approachable, and second to try and find your target. A few hours later and you found yourself back up at the bar, talking with Drew, the guy who Derek had clocked right as you’d gotten there. He certainly seemed interested, buying the both of you another round as the three of you got to know each other a little bit better, pulling lies out of thin air as you went. You’d just accepted a fresh drink from Drew, raising it to clink against his glass, your hand lingering on his arm a moment too long when your phone buzzed on the bar top. Your brow furrowed and you felt a surge of anxiety shoot through you at the notification being labelled ‘Prentiss’ so you quickly scooped it open and swiped open the message.

‘We’re at the wrong place, news bulletin must’ve spooked the unsub. Just found a body two blocks from Whiskey River.’

‘Copy that.’

You nudged at Derek, showing him the screen as you spoke, “babe, our ride’s here.”

“Better get goin’. Thanks for the drinks man.” He clapped Drew on the shoulder as you hopped off the bar stool, swiping a pen from the bar top.

“Sorry we’ve gotta leave like this.” You feigned a pout, grabbing his hand and writing down seven random numbers, “call me.” You shot him a wink before the two of you slipped out of the bar, not dropping the act until you climbed into the SUV.

The rest of the night felt like a whirlwind as you left the bar, the team and local pd splitting up to canvas and examine the crime scene to try and figure things out. While you were glad to be out of the club and finally away from Derek’s lingering touches you could still practically feel the heat from his body on you and that was making you absolutely crave the touch of Emily. Part of you was starting to wish you could have gone undercover with her instead, though you knew you never would have been able to keep focussed and you doubt she could’ve either.

Emily did her best not to stare at you, wishing she could have just five minutes alone with you to pin you to a wall and have her way with you. She felt her stomach twisting at the memory of Derek’s hands all over you, the way he’d slowly kissed up your neck to show off to Brandon, just how well the two of you had done at posing as a couple. She was proud of the UC skills but it also lowkey made her want to throw up in her mouth. Having you still dressed in the same clothes, with just an FBI hoodie over top while you moved through the crime scene certainly wasn’t helping anything either.

Despite not catching the unsub you and Derek still stopped for a shot at the hotel bar when you finally got home before going your separate ways, a way to say ‘good job’ to the other without having to actually discuss things that had happened. You got back to your hotel room, your head tilting when the door opened and you found Emily perched on the end of your bed, a satin robe loosely tied over her naked body, the bulge between her legs evident.

“You here to debrief me?” You asked with a grin, pulling the hoodie off and tossing it to the spare bed as Emily stood, stepping toward you before her hand gently grabbed your jaw, tilting your face up to her.

“No.” She smirked, “I’m here to remind you who you belong to.”

“Oh?” Your eyes widened and she chuckled, dropping your face from her hand.

“I know it was all an act, but what can I say? I don’t like when other people touch my things.” She shrugged, her hand trailing down your body, slipping between your legs, “and who does this pussy belong to?” She grabbed at your cunt and you gasped, your breath catching in your throat.

“You daddy…” You breathed out, your eyes fluttering shut and she chuckled.

“That’s what I thought.” Her hand tickled up your body again, tugging at the hem of your shirt as it went and you pulled it off, “I think it’s about time daddy marks you, hmm angel… would you like daddy to stuff you with cum?”

“God yes.” You practically moaned, fingers swiftly getting rid of the robe she had on, gulping over the size of the strap she had on.

“Good.” She smirked, her hands undoing your bra, letting it fall to the floor before they slipped into the waistband of your shorts, urging you to shove them down your legs along with your panties.

Before she could even get another word out you’d sunk to your knees in front of her, looking up at her with doe eyes, a pout on your lips before your tongue darted out, swiping a long lick on the underside of her cock.

“Please?”

“Christ.” She muttered, feeling herself flutter around nothing at the idea of it alone as she nodded and you let out a small giggle.

A moment later and your lips had wrapped around the toy, sinking down to the base, letting it hit the back of your throat in the same moment the base of the toy hit Emily’s clit and she groaned softly. Her hand tangled into your hair, watching the way you began to bob on her length, wet, sinful sounds leaving your lips as you did so. You were eager and she was never going to deny something like the sight of you on your knees for her, you were so fucking hot.

One of your hands glided up her thigh and your fingers slipped under the strap, beginning to toy with her pussy and she gasped. The moment two of your fingers slipped into her wetness she moaned, her free hand clutching at the dresser, never in her life had she had someone get her off while she fucked their mouth and it was an entirely new sensation she would never forget. The sight of you in front of her, burying her cock into your throat, the way your skin bulged as she did so, the eager way you sucked more and more into your lips with each thrust was already enough for her. But now there you were, fingers fucking into her with ease, curling and twisting with expertise, easily finding the sensitive spot within her walls. She was moaning before she knew it, tugging at your hair, holding you down on her cock, living for the sounds you made groaning around it as your fingers fucked her faster, the wet sounds from her cunt getting louder and dirtier with each move of your hand.

“Oh fuck… fuck princess!” She cried and her cock slipped from your mouth with a lewd pop, your fingers not letting up.

“You gonna come for me daddy?” You asked, your voice like silk, the tip of her dick resting against your cheek while your fingers curled within her once again and her thighs shuddered. “I know you want to.” You teased, lips wrapping around her cock once again for a couple of pulses, “come in my mouth. Please?”

“Fuck…” Emily swore softly, watching the way you wrapped around her cock once more as your fingers picked up the pace and within a matter of seconds she was shaking above you, orgasm rocking through her as you continued to bob on her cock.

Her hand shifted from the dresser to the base of the toy and you let her pull it from your lips, opening your mouth as your tongue extended out, waiting for her cum. She shivered in the cool air of the room as she squeezed at the base of the toy and the lube spurted out into your mouth.

“Ah!” Her hand shot out to your jaw right before you went to close it and you grinned as she did so. Emily ducked over you, her tongue surging into your mouth, scooping up as much of the lube as she could, deeply kissing you before pulling away ever so slightly. She then opened her lips, letting it drip down back into your mouth until it was painting your tongue once again, “good girl.”

She watched as you closed your mouth, swallowing the lube before presenting her with a clean empty mouth.

“Get on the bed so daddy can fill that needy pussy with cum.” She nudged at your shoulder and you were quick to scramble onto the bed, watching as she refilled the dildo. “On your hands and knees angel.”

You quickly flipped, letting out a low moan as Emily’s hand sunk between your legs, her fingers teasing your folds, smearing your wetness around, “you really this wet from just getting daddy off? You naughty girl.” She cooed.

“Please…. Please daddy…” your eyes scrunched shut, “need your cock.. now..”

“Now?” She chuckled, the tip of it sliding through your lower lips, resulting in a low moan from you as your hips pushed back toward her, “I guess you really are needy.” She sunk the tip into you before pulling it out, a whine escaping your lips, “well, you were good today princess, I guess I’ll give you what you want.” She sunk fully into you with ease and you groaned, “words baby….”

“Hard and fast.” You murmured, doing your best to bury yourself into the pillows as she gripped your hips with a dark chuckle.

The first thrust Emily gave you was harder than you expected, a loud gasp leaving your lungs before you bit down onto the pillow, the next one just as hard, as you’d asked for. Her hands gripped at your skin so tightly you knew you’d likely have some kind of marking the next morning. Each pump of her hips met yours with vigor, moans leaving both your lips. She couldn’t help but admire just how well you took it, how much of a good girl you really were.

“Christ baby..” She swore, “doing so fucking good for daddy. Already creaming all over my cock… you gonna come already?” She let out a groan at the sight of the toy smeared with your juices, knowing just how good she was making you feel.

“More… please!” You begged, feeling the pleasure surge through you, your pussy clenching down around her cock, wishing it would never end.

“Want me to touch you?” She asked, her hand wrapping around your hips in search of your clit.

“Choke me…” you managed to utter out between soft moans and Emily felt herself flutter once again. She let out a quiet swear before pulling you flush up to her by the hair, smirking as you moaned at the sensation. Her hand ghosted up your body before wrapping around your throat, squeezing as she continued to fuck you.

“That’s my dirty girl.” She purred into your ear, “so fucking naughty for daddy, you just love it don’t you?”

“Uh.. ye… yes..” Your entire body was on fire, you felt like you were about to burst yet there was something missing. Something that Emily only took a second to realize what it was, her free hand shifting from your hip to your clit, pinching and rubbing furiously at it until you were shaking in her arms, doing your best to not be too loud as your orgasm rocked through you.

The hand around your throat vanished, letting you drop to the bed while the other one returned to your hip, Emily feeling herself pulse as she watched you come. She pumped her hips a few more times before she squeezed at the base of the toy, shooting her cum deep into your greedy cunt. You let out a very satisfied moan at the sensation, shuddering as she softly fucked it deeper into you.

“Fuck…” you muttered.

“You like that?” She chuckled, raising a brow.

“Want you to come in me every time.” You mumbled the reply and she laughed, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss between your shoulder blades as she slipped out of you.

“I think that can definitely be arranged.”

_______

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#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds #a dangerous game #emily prentiss series #criminal minds fanfic

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fieldofdaisiies · 2 years ago

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Modern az spy in the fbi or something spying on a possible target and falling in love with her 😩

that is fun, of course, here you go❤️

when starting to work that day Azriel thinks it will most likely be just another one of those boring Friday night shifts where he keeps tracing certain kind of people

his lids grow heavy from staring at the screen to make out his target before jumping into his car to follow them

he yawns loudly and tips the coffee mug to his lips and takes a sip

but he nearly spits it out the moment his eyes focus on...you

and good god! you truly are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen

and so he sets out, for his target, but it is really hard to focus as his thoughts keep spiraling

normally he just hunts down the really bad guys, so does that mean you are

otherwise his boss wouldn't have given him this mission right?

Rhysand normally has really good knowledge over who to trust and who not to trust at all

normally Azriel always has to follow the latter, so you definitely must have done something really bad

only Azriel can't imagine that, Rhysand must have been wrong

nevertheless he follows you, watches you as you waddle through the streets, a bag tightly clasped under your arm

yeah, you definitely had something to hid

he is still in denial about it when he sneaks up on you, his eyes trained on your beautiful face

god, you are so stunning

and he should focus! Azriel reminds himself, which is harder than he thought

normally he is a very strict and stern person, but not today, not when you completely swept him off his feet

this is not serious work behaviour and he curses himself for his silly heart that suddenly starts to beat a little faster

long story short, Azriel catches you a moment later, leaving his hiding in the shadows

but what he did not know until then is that you are a spy yourself

you startle and are in utter shock, pointing your gun at him

you have been spying on target as well and now someone caught you?

Rhysand had some wrong information, thinking you were the actual target and has wrongly led Azriel to you

Azriel explains and only after a very long moment do you lower your gun

Azriel wants to apologise for bringing you into this uncomfortable situation and so he offers to take you out for a drink

you are hesitant at first, but agree eventually

and so you go out for a drink the next day

and then again on the following day

and then onto a many more, until you share your first kiss

after a few months you switch to his department and you work together, as a team

#azriel x reader #azriel headcanons

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sweatervest-obsessed · 1 year ago

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Okay.. hear me out the song 'Stick Season' by Noah Kahan... for a fic like her and spence break up and she can't move on from him...

Oh you mean my FAVORITE NOAH KAHAN SONG???

Absolutely girlboss.

It ended up being 3.5k, so please please enjoy!!

(it's a gn! fic btw)

You must have had yourself a change of heart like Halfway through the drive Because your voice trailed off exactly as you passed my exit sign Kept on drivin' straight and left our future to the right

Everyone in the BAU hated letting Spencer drive. It was a fact of the universe. It wasn’t because he was bad at it, in fact he was quite a good driver. But whenever he would drive, it was constant chatter, constant rambling, and sometimes, it would be in between NPR segments where Spencer would correct someone or pause to discuss interesting facts that he knew.

So when Spencer offered to drive the team to the hotel across town, no one had the guts to say no. It was some random town in Vermont, in the middle of October, some weird string of murders throwing another small town into disarray. He was in the middle of describing the science behind why certain leaves change into certain colors when his voice died out.

They were at one of two stop lights in town and they were stopped at one of them. Spencer was looking diagonally across at some random coffee shop, and Derek could not, for the life of him, figure out why Spencer was looking over there.

“Reid? Hello.”

“It’s her.”

“Who?” Derek followed his line of sight again and realized what Spencer was looking at, well, who he was looking at.

You.

“Oh my god. Isn’t that…”

Spencer nodded his head.

“Why is she…”

Spencer just stared at you. “I don’t know.”

You were now leaving the coffee shop, cup in hand and small brown bag in the other. Spencer could probably guess what was in both.

“Green light Reid.”

The two of them started to move again, but neither of them spoke on the way to the hotel. It was almost unbelievable that they hadn’t seen you in over two years and yet here you were, in some random town that had a serial killer.

Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can't face And memories are somethin' even smoking weed does not replace And I am terrified of weather 'cause I see you when it rains Doc told me to travel, but there's COVID on the planes

“No no. Lucille. You don’t understand. He was like, nerdy hot. And I fucked up big time.”

Lucille snorted and handed you the blunt in her hand. “My love, my life. I bet you, he was the problem.”

You scoffed and took a hit. “Yeah right.”

Lucille raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “You’re not still in love with the guy are you?”

“When you put it like that it makes me sound pathetic.”

“Oh girl no, you are, aren't you.”

You sighed and took another hit—a long inhale this time to compensate.

“Sweetie, you are WAY too good for him.”

You laughed. “Mr three PhDs, four Bachelors, and FBI? Yeah. I don’t think so.”

“Weren’t you Mrs FBI?”

“That’s Miss FBI to you. Mrs is reserved for happy married stupid people.” You grumbled and closed your eyes.

“Wow.”

“Wow What.”

“He was really the one wasn’t he.”

You nodded. “I really thought….god I’m so stupid.” You stood up and started pacing along the porch of your house.

Once you and Spencer had broken up, you needed to get out of there. There had to be somewhere where he couldn’t touch you, couldn’t find you. So you closed your eyes and pointed to a random spot on the map. Then when you realized you pointed to Las Vegas, you sat down and wrote down what you knew about Spencer, then tried to find somewhere that he had the lowest percentage of going.

And Fairlee seemed like the right place. There was nothing for him out here.

Except for you.

But Spencer didn’t feel that way. Not anymore at least.

You had taken up teaching, obtaining your teaching certificate up in Vermont and becoming one of ten teachers in the high school (which supported any child in a half hour radius).

It wasn’t hunting down serial killers, but it was still fulfilling.

That’s how you met Lucille. She was another teacher, in need of a roommate, and the rest is history.

“You’re floating away again.”

You snapped back to the conversation. “Sorry. Just. Really thought we were going to get married and be with each other and shit but.”

“But?”

“He wasn’t ready. You’d think three years knowing one another and being friends, and then another three years of dating would, you know. Add up to something.”

“I’m sorry sweetie.” Lucille took your hand and squeezed it tightly. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

“Yeah…maybe, I don’t know.”

She squeezed it again. “Tonight’s the night Damian invited us all down to the bar to hang out, I know we said no but…might as well get free drinks out of a guy who will never get the hint. Free booze, boost of ego. You’re young, you’re hot.”

“I see what you’re doing.” You smiled down at her. “But it’s raining and I’m not in the mood to get soaking wet just from walking from the house to the car then the car to the bar….”

“Pleaseeeee.”

Just as you were about to answer, a pair of headlights turned onto your driveway.

You’d know those stupid fucking headlights anywhere.

“Who do we know that drives a black suburban?”

Lucille shrugged. “I don’t think we know anyone who has one in town, why? Is that what the car is?”

You nodded, your stomach dropping.

“Luce. Hide the weed.”

“Why, it's not Tom and you know he’s over here every—-“

“Now. Luce.”

She furrowed her brows as the headlights stopped in front of the house. She quickly grabbed everything and went into the house.

You stood on the porch, in your pajamas pants, and a sweatshirt, hands in the front porch.

The car turned off and you watched as three figures got out of the car and walked up to the porch, freezing as they looked at you, the rain pouring down on them.

“Why are you here Hotch?”

The man was frozen,and he looked over at Emily, who was just as baffled to see you.

“Y/n?”

“Why are you here?” You asked again.

“Why are you here?”

“This is my home Em.” You stepped back a couple of steps and gestured for them to come up onto the porch so they don’t have to stand in the rain anymore.

Spencer was silent the whole time, not taking his eyes off of you.

The three of them moved up the porch and went towards the door, but you blocked them.

“You need a warrant if you want to enter my house, Hotch. What are you doing here.”

“We need to speak to Lucille Walkner.”

“Why.”

Emily raised her eyebrows, and crossed her arms. She was used to how stubborn you were, but being on the receiving end of it was something she was not a fan of.

“It’s in regards to the string of murders y/n.”

You raised your eyebrows. “I can guarantee you that I have been with Lucille every moment of every day for the past two weeks.”

“We’re not accusing her, we’re just asking—“

You cut Emily off. “Asking her questions. Yeah. I know how this goes. In case you forgot or something. It hasn’t been that long. Why do you need to speak to her.”

“Because she was the last person seen with the most recent victim.”

You looked at Spencer for the first time since he got here. “So was I. But somehow you failed to mention that as well. You’re losing your grip, Doctor.”

The group had never heard your voice so flat, so strict, so full of disdain. It was easy for you to treat him like he was the villain. He felt like one. He was one.

“Y/n.”

You broke your staring contest with Spencer and looked over at Hotch. “Get a warrant and come back tomorrow.”

And with that you walked into your house and locked the door behind you. Feeling a bit more bitter than usual, you turned off the porch light too.

They all stood out there. Dumbfounded.

And I love Vermont, but it's the season of the sticks And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed And it's half my fault, but I just like to play the victim I'll drink alcohol 'til my friends come home for Christmas And I'll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose Now your tire tracks and one pair of shoes And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do

When the BAU showed up at your door with the proper paperwork the next morning, both you and your roommate were at work, twenty minutes away.

Your sense of humor still intact since you managed to leave a sticky note for them:

At work. home by 4.

But that didn’t stop the caped crusaders of the BAU.

When they showed up at the school to interview you and your roommate, Lucille went first, recounting the night all three of you went out to one of three bars in the town, and then when you offered to drive her home, she insisted on calling her own roommate. When you watched her get into her roommate's car, the both of you went home.

When you recounted the same exact story, you both were released for the day.

“Heard you were a pain in the ass yesterday.”

You stopped in the hallway and turned around, facing Derek Morgan. “What do you want, Agent.”

“Woah woah what’s with the formalities.”

You rolled your eyes. “Derek. I’m really not in the mood. I fit the victimology of the asshole on a murder spree, and the team acted like I didn’t fucking know that. I’ve also realized you haven’t connected the fact that all of them are dating or sleeping with the police force.”

“All? We only knew two of the five—“

“Because half of them don’t want to admit that they’re cheating on their wives, and the other half don’t want to admit they’re dating anyone regardless of marital status. Not a single one of the victims were married.”

Derek just stared at you. “Touchy subject?”

You closed your eyes. “I still have a gun license Derek. Don’t make me use it.”

“Too soon?”

“Yeah Derek. Too soon.” You sighed as he pulled you into a hug.

“We miss you y’a know. It’s not the same.”

“I’m sure.” You squeezed him tightly.

“And I’m serious. We haven’t found anyone nearly as good as you have been.” He whispered, kissing your head. “Your desk is still empty. Hotch won’t let anyone sit there. I think he’s hoping you’d come back. I think we all are.”

“I can’t even look at him and it’s been two years” you whispered trying not to cry.

“I know.” He just squeezed you. “I know.”

“God I just….”

Derek pulled you into an empty classroom the second he felt your body tense up. There was one thing you hated more than crying, and it was crying in public. Once the door to the classroom was closed, he pulled you back into the hug, letting your tears pour down his shoulder.

“God I thought I’d never have to see you people again.”

Derek chuckled. “Clearly you didn’t read your contract. It’s required that you’re supposed to see me at least seven times a year and if you don’t, I hunt you down.”

You laughed through your tears and sat down on one of the desks. “You wish.”

“I do.”

“Be serious Derek.”

“I am.”

You sighed and looked up at him. “Well. Now you know where I am so. Come and visit me I guess.”

“Oh I plan on it gorgeous.”

You used the sleeve of your sweater to wipe away some of the tears still clinging to your cheeks.

“He misses you too.”

“Derek….”

He knew it ws dangerous territory, but he had to let you know—He needed you to know how it was affecting everyone, even though it’s been two years. “He does.”

“Why would you tell me that Derek.”

“You have to–

“Have to what Derek. I don’t wan—that’s a lie. What I would fucking give to be back in DC; back at the FBI. But I can’t do it Derek. I can’t go back.”

“But–”

“No.” You backed away from him, out of his arms. “I’m not going back.”

“Please.” Derek watched as your back straightened and your eyes hardened. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore. You were just starting to move on. Fuck. He watched as you closed yourself off again.

“Do you need anything else agent or can I go.”

“Y/n…”

“Then goodbye Agent Morgan.”

So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad No, I am no longer funny 'cause I miss the way you laugh You once called me forever now you still can't call me back

Unexpectedly, but expectedly, the killer was caught. He was some sort of religious nut who had decided that “immoral sinners” be put in your place.

That was something you did not miss: the misogynistic murderers.

But the BAU was getting ready to leave. You were grateful that they had come and protected the community you had grown so close to, but the thought of them knowing where you were made you nervous.

You knew Penelope most likely tracked you from time to time, and you weren’t trying to live completely off the grid/untraceable. But seeing them in person, watching them run around your town, was nerve-wracking.

Seeing Spencer fucked you up the most though.

He looked okay; or better than you at least. He was completely and utterly okay, and it bugged the shit out of you. How could he be okay, how could he move on and be happy without you, while you are stuck still trying to locate the remaining pieces of your shattered heart.

To Spencer, you were a wonderful experience. But to you, Spencer was everything.

The BAU had left, no goodbyes were in order since you had fulfilled your goal of attempting to burn every bridge you had. It was painful, but you just couldn't help it. They reminded you of Spencer. Everything reminded you of Spencer.

Lucille watched as you slowly transformed back into that lost person from two years ago. Your smile never reached your eyes. You drank just enough to be concerning, but not enough to continuously push the boundaries of alcoholism. Your face was pale. You never laughed or cracked jokes any more.

All you could do was think of Spencer. Waking up next to him, his arms around your waist. The smell of his apartment, the rides to work, the glances from your desk to his desk. It was all just too painful.

There were moments where you would pick up your phone and sometimes it felt like the world was against you. Derek posted a picture from some sort of day off, and suddenly you didn’t follow him anymore. Or, if you opened NPR, Doctor Spencer Reid was the headliner in a speaker series at Georgetown in blah blah blah. So you stopped listening to the radio.

Every since he stepped out of the car in your drive you, you’ve wanted to call him. You’ve wanted to hear him speak to you like he did, to love you like he did. You wanted to call him and hear him apologize and tell you everything was going to be okay and this was all just a big misunderstanding and you were his forever.

But you had a feeling that if you called, he wouldn’t pick up.

Oh, that'll have to do My other half was you I hope this pain's just passin' through But I doubt it

One Year Later…

Time flies. Leaves change. Life moves on.

But suddenly it's back to October and you find yourself in a new town, somewhere completely different. Another fresh start. Maybe this one will stick.

But then you get a call.

And it’s from Erin Strauss, offering you your job back, and your hesitation gave her all of the information she wanted to hear. You had three days to make a decision.

Do you continue to run from place to place, hoping and praying that maybe someday you’d be able to feel like you deserved to be loved again. Hoping that someday someone might actually want to stay. They might want you to stay.

Do you stay in this new town, and get attached to the people, making new friends, reminding you of the old ones, and hoping that it will be enough to fill the holes in your skin.

Do you continue to teach. Do you continue to shape minds even though it’s not something you had ever dreamed of doing. Especially when it feels like you’re trying to force your body into loving something it doesn’t.

Do you go back to the FBI–the BAU.

Do you ignite the flame in your chest and let yourself enjoy the chase. LEt yourself be happy with your job and treasure every moment you get to catch the bad guy.

Do you accept the job and move back to the desk you belong at, surrounded by your friends. Once again in a building you call home, letting your guard down for the first time in three years.

Do you let your guard down and talk to Spencer and watch yourself undo all of the progress you had made. Watch as your resolve crumbles and your heart aches and you can;t even breathe around him because it hurts to see him.

Do you give up and follow him around like some lost puppy and beg for him to take you back so maybe you’ll be able to melt your waxen heart and be happy again.

You don’t take the job. You never hear from Erin Strauss again.

Sometimes in your sleep, you can see what your wedding would have looked like. The venue, the florals, your outfits and shoes. Your closest friends and family by your side as you commit your soul to be bound to his.

But every time you get to the I Do’s, Spencer says yes.

It hurts because you never even made it that far.

You didn’t even get an engagement ring.

All you got were pitiful looks and sympathetic glances while Spencer rambled on about how much he didn’t understand marriage or want children–not that you did, but you would have liked for it to have been a discussion between the two of you.

You would have liked a lot of things.

Sometimes, in your dreams, Spencer proposes.

It never leaves your mind, watching as he publicly declares his love for you. Apparently, that was too much to ask for.

And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do Have to do

The pain of waiting to be loved feels like you’ve but split down the middle, letting yourself melt apart. The skin, no matter how hard you try, can never be stitched back together, and even if you manage to get some back, it scars over, reminding you for the rest of your life how unloveable you feel.

Maybe you’ll get lucky and someday you can learn to live with never being truly whole again.

Since Spencer owns half of you, and you will never be whole without him.

Part 2

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