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fallout4-reacts · 2 years ago

Note

Forgive me Father for I have sinned but the Kellogg one inspired some bad thoughts in me.

Would you feel comfortable doing companions react to Sole romancing Kellogg -because of reasons idk- ?

I'm sorry for the delay… let's just say that sometimes life throws us hardships that are beyond our ability to convey

But, in any case, here it is! I hope you enjoy my interpretation of the companions reactions!

Kellogg: Because the world is a nasty place, I do horrible things. My mother's first true present to me was a gun, and the first lesson I learned in life was that the world would not take care of me if I couldn't take care of myself. There was truth in what she said. But I believe she secretly hoped I would kill my father. No, I didn't. It was the first time I had to confront guilt, and it took a long time for me to sort it out. I felt guilty that I couldn't shield her from my father. Then I was unable to protect my wife and child. I guess I reached a point where I couldn't go back, so I just moved on. I have no justification other than having made my way with what I knew.

Sole: But now... What if we could provide you a new home, a place in the sun, an ideal environment where you could make a difference, where you could protect people who deserve it rather than killing them? Which one would you choose?

Kellogg: Do you know that you're really something special?

Sole: One thing is certain: I believe that everyone deserves a second chances. I believe that if you agree to follow me, we might be able to change the world. You can do it. If you really want to, you can undo all the horrors you've caused.

[… ]

Kellogg: Another great day in the glorious land of sun and sugar of Sole Survivor.

Sole: It was an exciting adventure. When I think of how stupid these folks felt they could get away with murdering so many people.

Kellogg: No mention of a chance to shine in the world for them, huh?

Sole: No. They weren't paying attention. But you paid attention to me. You did it.

Kellogg: How can I say no when such an awesome person is bringing the message?

Sole: Enough to desire to spend your life with?

Kellogg: Beg your pardon?

Sole: You took away my better half; I believe it is past time for you to make things right.

Kellogg: Is that your proposal?

Cait : "NO! It's bad enough that you're dragging your husband's killer along with us; you're not actually asking him to be your love?"

"He proved his worth; he proved his determination to make amends. He saw no other solution than the one he learned about, but when one was provided to him, he accepted it and became a better man. Much good."

"You are completely sick!"

"Perhaps, but I love this man, and you're not going to change whatsoever."

"Maybe I can't change it, but I don't have to stay to see it!"

Codsworth : "Mum/Sir, I understand your desire to see the world in its brightest light, but wouldn't it be healthier to think a little bit before uniting your life with his?"

"Cods, I know it may appear twisted when viewed coldly, but let me explain how I see things; whether good or evil, people are easily blinded. They create tales to excuse their behaviour. Kellogg never lied, never concealed the monster he was, and never hid his face. Despite having done bad things in the past, he is the most honest person I've ever encountered. I'll never be fearful of him deceiving me, hiding facts from me, or acting behind my back. When he does evil, he just confesses it, but since he's been travelling with me, he's been doing good, which is nice... and I love him."

"God. If that's what you desire, who am I to tell you how to live your life? Is he drinking his coffee at the same temperature as you?"

Curie : "It's fascinating to see people interact. This man murdered your spouse, and you want to replace your loss with the same man within a few months."

"He is a man of integrity and honesty, Curie. Yes, he committed evil, but he did not disguise it. That, I believe, is what melted my heart."

"The harm he cause?"

"His sincerity, but more importantly, his integrity. They are not common in the world."

"I understand now. And I understand how you feel. Indeed, being an honest ex-murderer is preferable to being an adorable guy who hides his worst face."

"Exactly."

Danse (Post-BB) : "I am aware that you have a twisted tolerance for the actions and natures of others, but this is even beyond my comprehension, even from you."

"You don't get it, Danse. Kellogg is a complete, honest individual who does not hide anything. He has never lied about his true nature. Concerning his activities, it's not like the Maxsons and Fathers of the world, who pretend to be doing good by committing atrocities."

"Unfortunately, I suppose I grasp your point. But to the extent that you've fallen in love with it?"

"The heart is unpredictable. I have a strong preference towards honesty. That's one of the reasons I admire you as a companion."

"All right, let's be straightforward: please do not send me a wedding invitation. Now I'll tend to my armor, and you should take care not to get yourself killed."

"With Kellogg watching my back, I'm confident it won't happen."

"I guess."

Deacon : "I've seen some bizarre things, but this one..."

"I understand that the presence of the Institute's finest assassin circling us may make you anxious, but—

"No, I saw and understood. I'm not a moron. Neither do I have any reason to disbelieve you, or him. No, what bothers me is that you fell in love with the man who murdered your spouse."

"It's just that I'm trying to put everything behind me. Things aren't as they used to be, and the odds were stacked against us. Kellogg made the correct decision. He seized the opportunity to rebuild the world with me. And I want to reshape the world alongside him."

"You're the boss. Was I supposed to bring cyanide or rat poison as a wedding gift?"

"I'd like some cyanide. More radical."

Dogmeat : Kellogg has a special knack to find the best dog food cans. He also makes Sole happy. Dogmeat adores Kellogg.

Elder Maxson : "From a strategic standpoint, it was a brilliant benefactor tactic to recruit the assassin working for your worst enemy to your cause, but falling in love with him?"

"He is the most truthful and honest man who walks this earth."

"He's no longer a real man. He belongs to the abomination kin rather than the human species."

"It's a good thing it's not your call."

"As far as I'm concerned, if you're able to integrate the Institute and defeat that foe, you're free to sleep with whomever you want... except a ghoul. Never sleep with a ghoul."

Hancock is gradually retreating.

Hancock : Well, ditching the past is like second nature to me. I ain't saying I can dig it, but I can dig it. Nah, I can't dig it. I would never have snitched to my bae's killer. Is he a good lay?"

"Hancock…"

Nah, but what I'm sayin' is, if this is really the fuckin' century's fuck... I mean, ya know, as partners, we gotta share everything. Even chillin'. Together. He bangs good?"

"Hancock!"

"Sister/Brother, does he make you scream his name so loud that everyone in Sanctuary knows he's hitting hard?"

"Does that mean you accept my alliance with Kellogg?"

"Honey, I'm gonna be your bro of honour. Does he bang good?"

Gage : "A man like that as the tender half of the Overboss? Gangs will never dare strike against you. Everything else is out of my hands. If the job is done well, you can fuck molerats; that's none of my business."

MacCready : "…"

"Say something!"

"…"

"Mac!"

The mercenary examines Sole meticulously.

"I felt like I had my boss in front of me, but this person who dresses the same as them has just told me that they are going to marry the murderer of their spouse."

Sole sighs deeply, rubbing their temples to ward off the impending headache.

"Kellogg is so much more than my husband's killer, and you know it."

"But, above all, he is the murderer of your husband."

"If I decide to go over it, who are you to oppose?"

"I make no objection! I doubt your sanity, but I'm not going to argue. So long as he doesn't mess with my pay..."

"No one will be touching your caps."

"Then you can marry whoever you want!"

Nick : "I'm done"

Sole can argue, debate, and explain, but Nick continues to walk towards Diamond City unconcerned

"Niiiiiiiiiick!"

"You have your assassin to lead you to the Institute and find your son; you no longer need me."

"Nick! You're not simply helpful; you're also my friend!"

The synth abruptly spins on his heels and stares at Sole.

"And your friend has one last warning for you: smother your husband's murderer in your sheets, or you'll wake up with that man's dagger in your throat one day. You can come and find me if you live to this day and slice his throat back."

Sole sighs despondently.

"You're going to tell me that everyone you help, all the clients you've reached out to, all the things you've done, you've only done for the holiest of human beings?"

Nick pauses for a bit before sighing.

"Listen, I'm not claiming to be a moral angel, but he murdered your spouse. This is the man who stole your life!"

"And he's helping me in bringing her back! He never pretended to be anything other than himself; he never lied; and he never attempted to abuse anyone. Okay, he didn't have a decent policy! Okay, he had a nasty boss who asked him to do horrible things in a horrible world! But he leaped at the chance to try anew. Is he less valuable than Strong, Cait, or Danse?"

"Don't bring the Brotherhoods back to the mat, or else I'll leave even faster."

"He's been doing really good for months!"

"He has been doing evil for years! Where has the justice gone?"

Sole pauses, then crosses their arms and stares at Nick.

"Is it a question of justice? Is it justice of the old or new world?"

Nick pauses, rubbing his neck in discomfort. Then, after a long pause in which Sole tries to let him consider everything, he appears to submit to the arguments.

"I… I guess I'm starting to get it. I mean, I'll never understand why you fell in love with him, but I see where you're going. Okay. After all, it's not my job to tell you who you can or cannot sleep with."

Piper : (sorry for the cliché) "WOW! I mean... WOW! Wow, wow, wow. You're the only one who can tell me such twisted, twisting stories! I saw the following headlines: The husband of the Sole Survivor is the man who murdered their spouse."

"Do you realise that not everything in life is an article?"

"Let me get the shock as best I can!"

"All right, so what time is the interview?"

Preston : Preston stands there staring at Sole for a long while without saying anything. Sole can't help but feel a little uneasy. They begin to waddle from one foot to the other, hanging their heads in shame they did not expect to feel. They showed up to inform Preston as a fact: "We eat mirelurk for dinner; there is no more ammunition in the Zimonja outpost; this hat fits you very well, I'll marry Kellogg." But Preston is now stuck in a long-lasting silence. He merely stares at Sole, not showing any emotion.

"Look, I… I need to get back in a moment, so if you could—

"Kellogg. Is that the man who murdered your spouse?"

It's a reaction. Sole didn't believe they'd get any more. They're overjoyed.

"I know it sounds strange—

"What's even more strange is that I am compelled to accept your judgement. You've done well thus far, and I can't deny that Kellogg has been a huge help to us. How can you possibly fall in love with him? I'm not sure. But I was already missing it when you brought him along. At this point, what is one more or less step on the verge of insanity."

The Minutemen's Colonel shrugs his shoulders.

"I will kill him if he betrays us or poses a threat to us. And I shall kill you."

He moved away without adding anything, taking a quiet step towards his guard station while whistling. Sole let out a sigh. Surely, that's the best reaction they could expect from Preston.

Strong : “Human strong, human good warrior. Human take you spouse. Human became spouse. I get it.”

X6-88 : "I am unable to adequately describe how much I agree with your pragmatic decision and how impressed I am with your order of precedence. This individual is a tremendous asset to the organisation, and I have no doubt that he will never compromise you. Sincerely, I admire your commitment to the Institute and confidence in one of its greatest components. Your denial of his past actions demonstrates your elegance, and it will be a privilege to be associated with you indefinitely."

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bibururokku · 3 months ago

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Tysm for your time doing the matchup, my dear birthday buddy!!! You really spoiled me with the addition of the one-shot!

Although I can’t say I didn’t see this result coming, I was certainly in denial over the possibility. I swear Kaiser puts me through four stages of grief as a character because he’s so commonly agreed upon as a red flag, and I know we share similarities. This matchup was like the final nail in the coffin for me to resign to the fifth stage of acceptance because this seems to be an unavoidable fate at this point LOL

My unfiltered thoughts/reaction is UTC, btw. i just formatted it a little for a bit of organization. I don't recommend you or anyone else to read through it because it's chaotic, but if you or anyone else wants a laugh or is really curious, then go for it??? I just did it for fun because, by the time I actually saw and was able to read through this, I had just gotten back from an event and was absolutely tired and thought it’d be funny to see my exhausted, long-winded thoughts wwwww

—Oh! oh, no... it's Micha. I'm screwed; Denial is not just a river in Egypt, ueueue...

Pardon granted, but also, wdym by “who are you?”??? huh???? Www, but thanks for the compliment ig, wwww

Ah, my pretentious vocabulary has prevailed again

Idk about unique, but I'll take it www

Really? One specific line of text in my yappuccino led to this???

Oh there's no other match, okay www

Yeah, I guess so wwww

OTL

I'm like that one line from Hercules rn: "They think 'no' means 'yes,' and 'get lost' means 'take me, I'm yours.'" LOL

I might end up hating him a bit? Oh, you have no idea wwww; Well, hate might be too strong of a word. Dislike, maybe? I mean, I don’t actually have a problem with Kaiser; I just don’t like how similar we are. Now that I think about it, though, he might hate it too and even more than me, LOL. After all, sharing similarities means we share weaknesses—vulnerabilities, which is a big no for both of us! LMAO, but as ppl, when it comes down to it, yeah, I would wwww

Ehhhh, human relationships are supposed to be complex by nature, so I don’t think this is much different, even if it’s is more complicated than usual, which it probably is, wwwww

Yeahhhh, Kaiser in a simple relationship doesn’t sound like Kaiser, lol. Maybe once he is at peace with himself and years of his relationship, but as he is now? Absolutely not, lol

Not the Ness mention wwww; This poor guy can’t even be dismissed from his emperor’s service in peace… Not that I don’t contribute to that lack of peace either,,, Eh whatever, this is about Kaiser, not him, lol! Though this reminds me that Kaiser likes to be seen as an enemy or smth by other ppl, so I might’ve dug my own grave into this one by admitting I’m not fond of him 💀

“Absolute misery” what lovely words to use when discussing potential relationships 😂

Well, he’s not wrong; Humanity is a clusterfuck, so I don’t blame him wwww

Hmm, not really. Two can play at the game of manipulation.

That’s true; of his 19 years of existence the guy has like what? 4? 5? years of experience with other people, the poor guy is probably still a bit overwhelmed by the complexity of people and is trying to navigate it the best way he can like a literal child.

I see your point,,, unfortunately, wwww

Oh????

So it was my empathy that was my downfall 🤦‍♀️

👀???

Actually, I like that. It matches well with his character, especially because of the meaning of his name. If he’s god’s chosen emperor, a role that often comes with the title of being the father of an empire, it’d make sense and would only be natural if his partner would be the mother of his empire.

Oof.

Wait, no, the addition of the pun here is actually so big-brained with his character rn, bc he’s like a rose bush that needs to be deheaded. He needs to get rid of those faded flowers of his past to encourage growth and new blooms so he can keep being healthy; otherwise, the old blooms will rot and infect the new blooming flowers, making the entire bush susceptible to pests and diseases.

Hold up, isn’t that what he’s doing in his current arc???? He got rid of the spent flowers that were Ness, the freedom of his football/soccer, and the comfort/security of his current position in Bastard München in order to grow… Holy shit, am I cooking something with this rn???? Wait, does this mean he’s actually kinda healing in his own way right now??? 🤔🤔🤔

I knew my biting words would come back to bite me one day, but not like this!!!! Wwww, but yeah, that shit doesn’t really work on me. At most, he’d get points for being a prick– pun intended.

…So literally me, especially when annoyed??? 😭😭😭😭

This is both true and funny to me since it really doesn’t take much to pick him apart, but given his background, childhood, and social norms, it makes sense how he was able to get so far with his facade without getting caught; Unfortunately for him, Blue Lock isn’t a place that adheres to the social norms that helped him maintain his mask wwww

That comparison makes me think he’d probably hate me, too, tho??? wwww

I mean, tbf I think that goes for most ppl wwww

Oh, this description wwww

Ideal??? Me??? Idk about that man. Someone recounted to him in the same light I am is probably going to be a real pain to him, maybe even a literal nightmare. Also, the trauma of his past with no examples of healthy relationships and the fact that he has feelings of being unloved probably make it difficult for him to picture such a thing, hence why one of his desires is to be loved in general. He’s not in a position or space to think about ideals. Besides, he wants to become someone who can’t be defined by the impossible, so nothing should just be ideal for him because if he isn’t going to be defined by the impossible, then everything he imagines should be attainable by his own hand as long as he works for/towards it.

No, I’m pretty sure that’s his brain trying not to implode when it’s up against someone who essentially challenges the very core of his values and modus operandi as a human.

Yeah, this sounds more like he's issuing a challenge to see who is the better one between us and which of our methods of function is more effective wwwww

I can see it; I’ve also realized there is some symbolism that I can apply to our relationship, too, which is… something

Makes sense, given everything he was deprived of since he was young

Ngl, I got shivers just imagining the intimacy of that moment

Inch resting...

Oh, oh my, not the *cough cough* wwww

Yeah, I'm sure he can relate; maybe not in the same way, but still—

😭😭😭😭

That makes sense actually; it's basically just another defense mechanism of his

Well, one can see why

I’m aware… 🤡🤡🤡

LOL, in my defense, as I was writing, I just thought the more detailed, the better bc it's easier to get more accurate results, which led to that specificity wwww

Not sure if they'd be good sparks, but those behaviors will definitely create sparks; Then again, the occasional argument, bickering, and conflict can lead to a stronger relationship by establishing common ground and compromises, which this relationship definitely needs to be built upon. I do understand him and why he acts the way he does, so I can overlook some projecting, but he’s still gonna need to compromise to make this work unless he wants to recreate his parents' relationship with me wwww; He can be like his father all he wants like that, and I can play the role of his mother and skedaddle away bc I tolerate some traits less than others and he can go be a stereopticon if he wants to project so much 😒😒😒

This relationship is really going to be something, isn't it? wwww

Oh definitely.

We can bond over shared trauma!!! Oh, and interests, too wwww, though I don't think the relationship will get very far if we don't do the first one /hj

I'd give you a prize like people do for those scientists if I could, but I don't think I have the credentials for that wwww

...I'm listening..? Reading?? Idk. I'm paying attention! wwww

Awwweee, I might feel a little bad depending on what these acts of service were, but it's ok; it's the thought that counts!!! That's also very true now that I think about it, and very sweet... am I actually being convinced rn? wwww

Yeah, that too, lol

Ness mentioned part 2 wwww; Ngl idk if Kaiser really does this intentionally bc it's not like he really knows how to do anything else with others with his background, but I get it

Not sure about missing it since he never got it, but yeah, I get what you mean

It’s like how medicine can actually be poison depending on dosage no?

Hnnnggg... I'm in this picture, and I don't like it; I really outted myself with this one, huh? 🤡💀

Why does this lowkey give me a heart attack??? wwww me and my art is like Kaiser and that soccer ball, lowkey, he's kinda always had that ball with him; I always sorta had my art with me. He poured his everything into the ball, and I poured my everything into my art. It's kinda scary. I wouldn't mind if he read through one of my finished works; it's polished and completed, filtered and processed. He can find glimpses of my mind with the bits and pieces of my heart if he looks carefully, and I'm prepared to give it out. If he managed to stumble upon and pick up an unfinished WIP or my notes and research??? dhbfjhernjgtn I'm screwed. Everything is raw and unprocessed; my entire heart, mind, and soul are gonna be on display for this guy to see and they say an artist can tell what kind of person another is based on their art, so if he were to see that I might die a little on the inside. Just a little bit. ueueue

He didn't get much growing up, so it'd make sense for that to be where his taste lies, idk how to translate it directly in English, but as my parents have told me: "the taste from childhood/the taste of memories is the best." and given his childhood I'm sure he was out there making simple and basic dishes for himself

Oh, that's...

:((((

Wait, what if he gets extremely sick??? If he reaches the point of needing to rely on someone for his health because he was that unwell, then what? ...wwwww why is that my first thought and concern?

Nuuuu!!! :((((

It's okay if he gives it back; we can save it for later or smth if it helps him ueueue 😭😭😭

Ok, but opera and museum dates would be so much fun??? But also, not him showing up to the performances, I'm gonna have the relationship boundary talk of my life if our relationship isn't in a secure place;;;;; Hopefully, he misses the ones with certain setlists, LOL. Wait, he's in the back? Tall ppl in the back and short ppl in the front moment. I hope I spot him before the end tho; otherwise, I'm gonna get jumpscared 😂😂😂

Actually, yes, take me away, plz small afterparty with the two of us over the big group gathering any day!!! Also, quality time together, let's go!!! 💕💕💕💕

Ok, Elsa, just bc you're numb inside and the cold doesn't bother you doesn't mean you should stop taking care of yourself on the outside... I ruined the moment with that, didn't I? wwww

Micha would probably be so done with me for that LMAO

HELP, he's actually having a standing man emoji/"he's just standing there... menacingly!!!" moment. WWWW, what is he even doing? wwww ahhh jealousy??? ok, fair enough wwww there's no way I wouldn't make fun of him for that tho, sure it's my moment, but that doesn't mean he can't establish himself closer; we're equals, after all, it's not like my presence will dim just bc he's there esp at an event where ppl are just geeking out over stuff it can't be helped if it's for him to contain his jealousy tho. I think I'd actually like and prefer him to be closer ngl, scary dog privilege for some of the weirdos who show up at times like, "Sic 'em Kai-kun!!!!" wwww

Yeah, that's very cute and endearing of him ngl

Opposites attract! Though very physically, in this case, LOL

Ueueue it's the 35 cm height difference for me; also, this makes me realize that we have like,,, the standard manhwa depicted couple height difference LMAO

Haha, most people who are into MBTI tend to be surprised about this, but after getting to know me more, they usually come to realize it that this is the case, so it may just be how I choose to present myself wwww, but also 👀👀👀

I'm taking notes 📝📝📝

Omg, a one-shot too??? Lemme just... 👀👀👀

:(((((( well, now I feel like an asshole for what I said earlier about his parents' relationship ueueue... wwww ik he's not real, but I'll still apologize to his fictional ass for being a bitch lol; Now that I think about it, that's very fitting of us, though, huh? the bastard emperor of roses and his biting bark bitch of an empress lmao

hdbjfhrjg tysm for that??? wwww anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed writing the matchup!!! Despite my apprehensions, I promise I'll give Micha all the love and affection he missed out on and deserves, even if some of it is tough love to help him blossom LOL

Also, eyyyyyy b-day buddies, let's gooo!!!

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP + ONE SHOT — @bibururokku

Your match is...

— Michael Kaiser

✦ Pardon, but who are you? What’s with this amazing bio and incredible personality?

✦ The first thing I thought when I read your bio was, wow, the vocabulary!

✦ I love reading people who have a unique writing style. You can tell there’s depth behind it, that there’s life experience.

✦ Also, the way Kaiser came to mind, as usual, shook me a little because it was reading a very specific line in your text that suddenly made his entire character take over my thoughts, and I realized this bio could only belong to him.

✦ Conclusion: there’s no other match for your profile.

✦ It’s almost like he directly whispered to me, “This one’s for me.”

✦ And the more I read, the more I confirmed: yes, this is for him.

✦ There were also details that made me smile because I thought, “Hmm, if I put Kaiser in her path, she might actually end up hating him a bit, right?”

✦ But that’s what makes the relationship interesting and human: that it’s full of complications, that it’s not easy, that you have to fight for it.

✦ I can’t see Kaiser settling for a simple relationship where everything is easily won. It wouldn’t be worthy of his character.

✦ On the contrary, the harder it is to obtain, the more he’s the type to persevere. You can already see it on the field when he bluntly tells Ness that he no longer wants the freedom of his football because he thrives under restriction.

✦ In other words: in absolute misery.

✦ And what represents a greater misery for Kaiser than human relationships?

✦ You might think, “No way, the guy is a pro at psychological manipulation!”

✦ But to me, he studied psychology precisely to blend in with the human crowd, to understand it, and then to manipulate it. Probably because, at his core, he grew up isolated with his father, didn’t see many people, and couldn’t grasp social norms. You can see for a long time that he struggles with others, that he even fights when someone offers him something because violence is the only form of communication his father taught him.

✦ He knows how others think, but in a mechanical way. Like learning a concept by heart and regurgitating it as learned. Deep down, he doesn’t grasp the essence of it. It reminds me of that part in your bio: “I treat most like a business partner, so in that sense, I am pretty closed-off and predictable; I’ll give basic respect without letting personal feelings interfere.” It’s an automatic, learned behavior for dealing with specific social situations. Deep down, you’re not like that, but it’s simpler, and it works.

✦ All this to say that I think your existence plays a major role in this whole play.

✦ Oh yes, the passage that directly made me think of Kaiser is this one: “As for motherly, I’m just the type of person who likes to care for and nurture others, which I suspect stems from me having to mentally mature quickly due to a difficult childhood, so if I’m fond of a person, I want to make sure they’re alright and have support in all aspects as I didn’t get that.”

✦ For me, it speaks for itself.

✦ I always thought that what Kaiser needed, besides a few sessions with a therapist, is a general detox where he could purge all the evil that’s been eating away at him since birth, and that the only cure is the sincere affection someone could give him: a mother’s love.

✦ The one he never had.

✦ It’s hard to imagine Kaiser in a healthy romantic relationship because his view of humanity is so skewed, but I think that by starting a healing process, everything in him could blossom — pun not intended, of course, given his affinity with roses...

✦ At the same time, I think one has to be able to handle the responsibility of a relationship with someone as psychologically unbalanced as he is, and for that, besides having thick skin, you need the temperament to match. “Funny and sassy probably go hand-in-hand with the things I say since I’ve got quite a mouth on me, which is surprising for peers and acquaintances who see me with friends. It’s fluent in sarcasm and doesn’t mince words, which can be amusing.” I think when he meets someone (typically Isagi), Kaiser tries to establish dominance right away to secure personal safety — that is, to ensure the other doesn’t dominate him first. It’s a typical defensive mechanism.

✦ On the other hand, I think he can quickly be destabilized by someone who doesn’t falter in the face of his attempts at dominance. Someone who responds, who stands up to him, and who even manages to challenge him in areas where he usually feels comfortable.

✦ And you see it multiple times: the stronger Isagi becomes, the more he gains the upper hand over Kaiser, the more the latter is completely shaken because all his certainties crumble, and that’s when we start to understand who he really is. You have to slip into his cracks to see him in his most human, hidden aspects.

✦ He clearly resembles that bully in the schoolyard, who’s quite pleased when everyone bows down to his reign but gets scared when a teacher comes to grab him by the ear and put him in his place. A bit like with Noa: Kaiser despises him to the core but doesn’t challenge his status in the hierarchy.

✦ Kaiser, with his very complex psychology, could be a real challenge for you.

✦ “an ‘elegant strength’ about me due to my ‘intelligence and talent’ that I ‘carry all so gracefully’” Oh damn. So much power and beauty…

✦ “I’d make for a good lawyer since I’m very persuasive as I make good arguments and am good at playing semantics and twisting things in my favor thanks to those traits.” Someone skilled with words… Someone who knows how to stand their ground and defend their opinions… Hmm. Could I have stumbled upon our German emperor’s ideal?

✦ (Honestly, I can hear Kaiser melting over a description like that)

✦ (The attraction of the challenge, meeting someone of his caliber…)

✦ I’m quoting a few details from the things you like that clearly connect with Kaiser: “acting, documentaries, flowers, floriography, food, learning, music, psychology, reading, researching, social studies, symbolism, traveling.” All these keywords fully evoke me Kaiser, really, these are exactly the interests I imagine for him. Damn, I’m so glad I received your description.

✦ To me, he’s a man who presents himself with a lot of elegance and distinction but who deep down prefers very simple things, whether it’s in terms of food (we learn this in the pages of the latest released volume) or even in the small pleasures of life.

✦ I even wonder if he would let you touch his tattoo, from his jugular down to his biceps, then the tip of his elbow, forearm, and the back of his hand.

✦ (^ his ultimate love language, in my humble opinion.)

✦ (Especially since I think his neck is a very sensitive area for him, both for the worst and the best reasons *cough cough*)

✦ OH, speaking of physical contact. I was particularly struck by your testimony about the experiences you’ve had. I won’t go into details since this post remains public, but: “dislike: unsolicited physical contact.” That and the whole part where you explain it to me really resonated with me, and I’m sure it would have resonated with Kaiser too.

✦ Honestly, it gave me chills, and I even felt a wave of sadness because it could so easily echo within him as well. I mean, in the deepest parts of him. His entire childhood was built on the unhealthy relationship of violence he experienced with his father; he grew up with beatings as the only form of affection. It’s acknowledged by the manga that he inflicts pain on himself as a traumatic response to his past.

✦ In my understanding of his character, he can’t stand being touched, and this is one of the reasons he paradoxically allows himself to touch others and cross boundaries without any shame, like he does with Isagi, grabbing his chin and then his wrists during their first meeting. Kaiser attacks before being attacked.

✦ Deep down, I think even a simple caress on his skin deeply unsettles him, possibly provoking sudden violent reactions that no one could have anticipated.

✦ He resembles you.

✦ (Another thing regarding your dislikes; I’ve rarely read dislikes as specific as yours in the bios I read for matchups) (Quite funny, I won't lie)

✦ “Behaviors I’m not fond of in a person are abusive, controlling, impatient, inflexible, obsessive, possessive, prejudiced, tactless, uncooperative, violent and volatile.” This is the part that made me smile and think, “This will create sparks between these two.” These are traits Kaiser exhibits at various points in the manga or that I can perfectly imagine him displaying in a relationship with someone. Obviously, most of them are consequences of his traumas, which he projects onto others. It reminds me of the moment when he admits he wants to be the “father who inflicts suffering on others on the field.” He’s repeating a behavior he experienced in the past.

✦ Someone once told me, “Children are mirrors: they reproduce everything they see, hear, and experience.” And it’s true.

✦ Daaamn, there are so many things that match!!!

✦ I’m as excited as a scientist who’s just made the discovery of the century AAAAARGH

✦ (I’ve noted down plenty of little details to create connections with Kaiser, no worries)

✦ "My love language(s) are quality time and acts of service." "If I were on the receiving end, though, I'd probably prefer quality time and physical touch." It's funny because I think Kaiser has the exact same love languages, in the same order. That is, he comes across as the king who has all the servants doing everything for him, but with someone he genuinely cares about, he'd be the one to offer acts of service. The same goes for you, which doesn't surprise me given your backgrounds: letting people touch you is actually the ultimate proof of your love. It's such a sensitive and intimate thing for you both that you can only imagine it as the purest expression of your feelings for each other.

✦ Wow, that's beautiful.

✦ In my opinion, Kaiser does everything he can to protect his inner self from others, even Ness, who’s been closest to him these past few years, doesn’t truly know his deepest motivations and wounds (at least, that’s how it seems to me). So someone like Kaiser, who works hard to keep emotional distance from others... can only become obsessive once he falls for someone. It’s inevitable. It’s like the reins have been loosened, like a hungry beast has been set free. To me, Kaiser is starving for affection, and he needs it so badly that once he gets a taste... he won't be able to turn back.

✦ It becomes addictive for those who’ve missed it the most.

✦ And that can be just as dangerous as it can be the start of healing; it’s all about the right dose and timing.

✦ "I’m also extremely touch-starved" I don’t need to say more. I know you understand exactly what I’ve explained about Kaiser.

✦ Now, a little compilation of common traits with our German prodigy: "I also tend to write one-shots that fall under those genres since I like them." Without saying he writes fanfics or anything, I think anything related to creating a character might really captivate his attention. I can totally picture him sitting in his chair in the evening, wearing a bathrobe like we saw in the video room, reading your script, the pages you've written about your characters and universe. He’d do it very carefully in complete silence, with his glasses on and one knee crossed over the other. He’d silently turn the pages, and if he had nothing to say at the end of his reading, it’s not because it left him indifferent: I think it would keep turning in his mind, eventually deepening his interest in other people’s art. In your art.

✦ "The same goes for my other hobbies, like baking and cooking." I don't see him as extraordinarily talented in the kitchen, and his current appearance might suggest he enjoys fine dining: but nope. As I mentioned earlier, I think his culinary tastes are actually the same as when he was a child, and he loves the simplest dishes. Family meals... Oh wow, a good beef stew. A fondue!!! A Sunday barbecue at noon in the summer...

✦ A turkey on Christmas Eve.

✦ The symbolic evening of his birth...

✦ Now, I’m not sure he’d be very expressive because I think his relationship with food is a bit peculiar, especially when someone offers him something—like cooking for him. So I think it would take a lot of time and effort for him to finally accept tasting your dish. Not because it disgusts him, quite the opposite—the delicate smell of smoked meat would make him crack—but because he doesn’t know how to accept kindness from others.

✦ And you know what? I can totally see him being moved to tears by tasting a warm, delicious meal cooked just for him. He wouldn’t show it, he’d try hard not to show anything, but the expression in his tear-filled eyes would say it all.

✦ (Though he might eventually give his dish back due to the overwhelming emotions, but I promise: he loved it.)

✦ "Dancing and singing are covered by the clubs I’m in, and since I picked them, I’m satisfied with them, especially when we perform and make covers." In the category of more specific hobbies, I think he might eventually enjoy opera and museums (culture and art in general), and also come to watch your performances. He’d probably start in the back, discreet, a bit withdrawn from the crowd. And then he’d be the first to applaud you at the very end, you know, and that would prompt everyone else to clap along with him.

✦ He’s proud of you, and you leave the room together. He’s planned something and insists it’s just for the two of you. He’s never liked crowds or groups; he prefers small gatherings where he can focus on the one person who truly matters to him.

✦ The kind who’d wrap a scarf around your neck because it’s cold. You’d comment on it, and of course, he’d reply, "The cold? I’m used to it. I don’t feel it anymore."

✦ "There’s also cosplaying, but I only do it for conventions, meetups, and photoshoots with friends. But there are time and financial restraints, so it’s much less frequent." He might come to see you, not necessarily standing directly in front of your booth but watching from afar. Watching people line up at your stand for autographs and photos, maybe gritting his teeth or furrowing his brows because there’s a hint of jealousy. But he’d never interfere because he knows it’s your moment. His moment will come later.

✦ And the fact that he puts himself second is a sign of his devotion in itself.

✦ "For appearance, I’m honestly built like Hoshino Ai" Honestly, I can totally see Kaiser preferring people with a physique that’s the opposite of his, meaning shorter people with dark hair and a somewhat innocent look, but who have a strong personality.

✦ "from the way her body physically looks down to her height of 4’11” or 151 cm" Hehehe, shall we talk about hugs between 151 cm and 186 cm?

✦ "Lastly, my MBTI is INFP-T" (I won’t lie, I was a bit surprised by that MBTI, I thought you’d be something else) Kaiser is really hard to type due to his unique childhood, which, in my opinion, forced him to develop cognitive functions that he didn't have in order to survive. These functions are called “shadow functions,” and according to Carl Jung’s theory, they shouldn’t be developed at all in someone whose cognitive stack doesn’t include them. I have my own idea of Kaiser’s type, which is nothing like what Personality Database gave him, and I think it’s the most complementary to INFP.

✦ "my enneagram is 4w5" It’s commonly accepted that Kaiser’s is 3w4. You both share the 4, which in his case is a wing. This means that his 3, which represents the achiever profile, is supported by the 4, the profile attributed to the individualist. When combined with the 3, the 4 makes Kaiser someone who is motivated by achieving success while asserting who he is through his work. This is exactly what we see when he seeks to develop "a shot that defines me" and when he wants to be recognized for his work. There’s a strong identity quest in Kaiser’s relentless journey, and this is represented by his 3w4 enneagram. We can also see it throught the "wholistic restrictive ego" that Isagi describes in chapter 267.

✦ Well, because you both inspire me so much, here’s a little one shot.

Content warning: angst, self-harm, hurt/comfort.

The room was dark, silence hanging like a heavy shroud. It was late, and a bad dream had pulled you from sleep. In the bed, an immense coldness lingered. Your hand groped blindly. You could hear the sheets crumple under your grasp. The place beside you was empty.

This was usual.

And because it was usual, you got up, rubbing the corners of your eyes with your fists. Then you slipped out of bed, pulling on a robe before heading downstairs to the living room. There a light was on.

The TV was on but it was strange, you didn’t even hear the sound because all your senses were focused on the figure on the floor.

"Michael!" you cry out.

He was slumped on the floor but not asleep. Your first instinct was to approach, drop to your knees to lift a hand... Then you remembered not to touch him unless he gave his consent.

"Michael, look at me..."

There was something around his neck. His own hand, clenched like a vise. His breathing was short and erratic. A clammy heat battled across his forehead, down to his temples. The sound from the screen continued to crackle in the background. His gaze lifted to it, revealing the replay of an old match.

"It’s... the first one I saw." his murmur barely escaped his throat. "Before I started playing."

His grip gradually loosened on its own. You watched, helpless, worried.

"It was Christmas Eve, I was on the street. There was the store window. A sports shop."

"Micha..."

"I saw a vision of my father."

He slowly straightened up on his knees, his palm wiping away the sweat clinging to the roots of his hair. You moved to brush a few blonde strands behind his ear, always careful not to touch him directly.

"Fuck..." his head tilted back, exposing even his Adam’s apple. "It’s been a while."

"Is there anything I can do?"

His blue eye landed on you.

"...Nothing."

"Alright. Then tell me when..."

"There is. Hold me."

Your heart began to pound harder in your chest. A fire ignited within you. Your arms opened to welcome the one who let himself fall against you. The tattoo encircling his throat seemed to emit a faint scent of roses. You inhaled its fragrance, wrapping your arms completely around Kaiser.

"Like this. I... feel okay." His face nestled into the curve of your neck. His warm breath settled there. "You’re not leaving, right?"

"I’m here."

"You’re here."

A word about your match: You’re the sexiest Hollywood couple of all time, hands down. I absolutely LOVED writing this matchup, thank you so much. Give Kaiser all the love you can; I'm convinced he has so much to give too. He just needs time to blossom...and love.

And OH MY GOD I see on your blog that you were born on 10 December like me????

#michael kaiser (derogatory) my beloathed (affectionate)#i'd probably actually make that his contact name if we dated #bc i’m derogatorily affectionate www 💕💕💕💕#and i could switch it to my betrothed if we got engaged!!!#real nn/contact name evolution www #it's delulu hours #tho idk what it'd be if we got married #my beloved would make the most sense but that's basic #and it doesn't rhyme #and isn't derogatory enough #anyways that one shot!!!#ngl reading it made me want to make a manga/comic for it #but that requires an mc or s/i design #omg bllk s/i hours??? 🤔🤔🤔#thanks for the matchup/food suo #i might be cooking something with this #also that hollywood couple comment #power couple confirmed wwww #the tension would be unreal tho #it’s ok if he’s a red flag 🚩#i may not be color blind #but i am a flag pole #so i will let that man hang #until the color fades #but i’ll never leave him out to dry #bc i have to be there for him #as the fcking flag pole WWWW #but only if we get there :PPPP #he's gotta work for it with me~#bc a relationship goes two ways~ ʅ（￣︶￣）ʃ

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stargazerlillian · 4 years ago

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FOLKS OH MY GOD!!! I think this is the best Song Machine Episode I’ve seen yet!!!💘💘💘💘💘

#Blooming where I'm planted #Seriously I’m not even kidding - sound wise this is literally now my favorite Song Machine along with Aries!💘💘💘💘#This also might quite possibly be one of my all-time favorite Gorillaz songs PERIOD.💘💘💘💘#I mean - you’ve got killer aesthetic visuals - I’m always a sucker for the color pink... and sparkles...✨✨✨#Well-placed and meaningful verses by 6LACK that flow perfectly in time to the music...#2D looking perfectly at peace as he plays piano and sings under the glow of the pink neon lights... classic...💗#Murdoc up to his usual antics in the background... and it turns out it was a LITERAL Pink Phantom he was hunting.😕#Huh. Guess Murdoc decided to become some sort of renegade Ghostbuster or something. IDK.🤷‍♀️#I must admit when he just BURST IN through the door at the end out of nowhere I burst out laughing!!!😆😆😆😆#Murdoc we get it you’re an attention seeker. But I’ll let this act-out slide on account of your amazing cartoony comedic timing!👍#And of course ELTON FRICKING JOHN!!! I mean COME ON - it’s SIR ELTON!!! I don’t really need to explain that element!!!#Just... my God I STILL can’t believe this is a real thing that just happened!!! AHHHH!!!💘💘💘💘💘#Pardon my rambling this episode just made me really excited - I haven’t felt like this in SUCH a long time LOL.😄#Overall this is a retro-inspired masterpiece lovingly combined with modern elements and beautifully crafted visual representation.#In short - this song and its MV are PURE ART.✨💘🎨💘✨#Guess I have something to listen on repeat for at least a hundred times before moving on - that is IF I move on haha!

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my-1heart · 3 years ago

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A Baby Sized Problem!

Characters: Zhongli, Childe, and ofc our dear reader!

Reader: gender neutral <33

Special character appearance: Xiao and Scaramouche

Scenario: It’s such a normal day! Lovely and sunny… wait a minute… WHY IS MY S/O HOLDING A BABY??

Notes: I am so sorry for this coming out like 2 weeks after my last one omg TT This idea kinda just poofed into existence lol

I am in no way sure how most toddlers talk but I’m basing this from what I’ve personally heard them say 💀

More in “Keep Reading”!

Zhongli

“Dearest meet… um… Childe and Xiao.”

- pardon me????

- you’ve met Xiao and Childe already but why were they… infants/toddlers

“How did this happen?!” You asked, picking up Childe. Zhongli could only give you a confused look back.

“Well I was getting ready to leave for work when these two happened to be seated at the front door.” He explained.

You were about to say something when Childe grabbed your face.

“Is something the matter, Childe?” Zhongli asked.

Childe just began babbling, as if trying to explain what happened. To distracted by Childe, Xiao began fussing.

Zhongli only noticed when he lost his grip on Xiao, luckily he was caught in time causing you to let out a sigh.

“Well then… I guess we’ll be parents for a day. Isn’t that right, Childe?” You cooed.

- yes this was unexpected but no you weren’t gonna pass up this once in a life time opportunity!

- kamera(idk how to spell) photos LITTERED your living room

- Xiao does not like being seated next to Childe for some reason

- Childe is an absolute joy as a baby

“Um! Ba ba! Ah ah. Hm.” Childe babbles again.

“Oh? He did what now? Really? Zhongli! How could you!” You gasped, causing the man to near drop Xiao again.

“What did Childe tell you?” He asked, glaring a bit at the child (pfff).

“Appa! Ah ba ba!” Childe babbled, nuzzling your face.

“He said you took his toy! Zhongli, how cruel!” You began nuzzling the child back, in an act of pity.

- poor Zhongli

- the odds were against him

- he didn’t understand how you understood that

- he finally understood when you started laughing your ass off (Childe found it funny too LMFAO)

“Childe, it isn’t nice to talk about other people.” He said sternly.

Xiao, who had been sleeping, awoke and started speaking.

“Xiao, hungry” he pouted, waving his fists in the air. (If you weren’t sure, Childe is the baby and Xiao is the toddler)

You needed to prepare food, so you decided to set Childe down.

Biggest. Mistake. Ever.

- a very loud cryer

- Zhongli had to pick him up and set Xiao down

- Xiao is a pretty chill baby tbh (he’ll fuss when he’s uncomfy or is in need of something but other then that chill as fuck)

- Xiao actually makes his way towards the kitchen to find you

- you only notice because you felt a slight tug at your leg

“Oh hello Xiao. Are you curious on what you’re eating?” You asked, to which he raised his hands towards your face and began standing in his tippy toes.

“Up, up!” He chanted. How could you refuse? You couldn’t, so you picked him up so he could see what you were cooking.

(Idk if any food that is made in genshin is smth babies can eat so I’m not gonna be specific)

- he seemed excited when he saw what you were making

“Excited for lunch, huh?” You teased, to which he nodded happily.

• Meanwhile •

- baby Childe = hair puller

“Childe, no. That’s not something you should- ow. Ow. Ow. Childe let go.” HAHHRBWKKW HES STRUGGLING AND ITS A SIGHT TO SEE Zhongli demanded.

- Childe really shook his head no and continued pulling

- poor Zhongli TT

- convinces Childe by the use of toys

- honestly he can be easily distracted by like everything

- Zhongli does that thing where he holds onto Childe’s hands so Childe can walk

- Childe babbles like CRAZY when Zhongli does this

“Un un!”

“Oh really? Is that what that is? Hm I’ll take that name into consideration, thank you Childe.” Zhongli responded to what seemed like a name suggestion for something in the home.

Xiao started squirming so you let him down and he ran straight to where Zhongli was.

“Food! Done!” He cheered. Zhongli then directed Childe’s walk direction towards the dining table.

Helping Xiao in his seat, you realized you didn’t have a baby chair for Childe.

“Zhongli… he’s gonna have to sit in your lap and your gonna have to feed him,” You said, “unless you want to take care of Xiao?”

“I believe I can handle Childe, though you should probably take care of Xiao quickly. He doesn’t look to bright at this time.” He responded, peering at the child.

- Xiao looked like he was about to cry

Quickly making your way to Xiao, you grabbed his plate and put it in front of him. He happily ate as you watched Zhongli feed Childe.

- heartwarming. Everything about this scene is heartwarming.

- when they finished the two of them definitely fell asleep until night fall (they turned back to normal magically)

This whole day was very heart warming and you were excited to show case all the photos you got of the two.

﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄

Childe

- you literally woke up due to an odd amount of weight on you

- open your eyes, sunshine, cause it’s Scaramouche and Childe!

- well baby Scaramouche. Oh and Zhongli is there too!

“Well good morning to you three. Childe why is there a mini Zhongli and mini Scaramouche on top of me?” You questioned your boyfriend.

“Scara was busy nagging me about how annoying I was a few minutes ago and all of a sudden poof! Miniature Scaramouche.” He explained, glancing over at the now drooling Scaramouche.

“Hu Tao dropped Zhongli here. She doesn’t know what happened either but asked if we could look after him.” He then glanced over at Zhongli, who was… thinking about his life choices?????

- literally had his hand on his chin as if he’s thinking

- Childe internally: wtf???? He’s a literal baby, why does he look like he regrets everything????

“It’s great that you offered help and all, but I’d like to be able to get up and get ready.” You expressed, handing Scaramouche to your boyfriend.

- Holy archons was that a bad idea.

- Scara definitely does not like Childe in the slightest.

- tantrum. Full on tantrum because Childe is holding him LMFAO

- Zhongli clings onto Childe instead, while you hold Scaramouche

- Scaramouche is clinging onto you as if his life depended on it

“Okay you two can wait in the living room. I need to get ready.” You instructed, as Childe grabbed Zhongli and quickly exited the room.

“Now, you.” Ayo bestie chill he’s a baby today you began, looking at Scara. “I need you to sit tight on the bed, I’ll be out in a second.” You quickly left to go get ready. (Scara is like… not baby baby, more like a one year old baby)

- absolute trouble maker.

- literally disappears from where you left him on the bed

- he somehow found his way into Childe’s emergency weapons stash????

- Childe runs into the room due to hearing your panicked voice

“Scara… is gone! I cant find him! I left him right there!” Oh you were such a panicked mess, you literally just lost a child in a very small space.

Zhongli kinda waddles in behind Childe (mf just left a child by himself-) and quickly latches onto his leg for support.

“[name]! [name]! Closet!” He babbled, now waddling towards the closet.

- well at least you knew Zhongli can speak some coherent words

- plus his waddling is adorable ( T v T)

- you, Childe, and Zhongli peer into the closet and near Childe’s stash of weapons

- LOW AND BEHOLD Scaramouche is in the middle of the pile holding onto a bow 2x his size

“I thought I told you to clean those.” You glared at him.

“Whoops, hey Zhongli! It’s time to go!” He stumbled, quickly scooping up the confused toddler and ran.

“Ah hah! Abba, ba.” Scaramouche began babbling, as if to brag about Childe being scared.

- luckily the more dangerously sharp objects were kept somewhere else

- he’s a fast baby

“You are quite the runner, Scaramouche. Now then, up we go.” You cooed, picking him up.

• With Childe •

“They’re pretty scary, huh Zhongli?” He asked the toddler, holding him quite tightly.

“Ow, Childe.” Zhongli mumbled, squirming a bit. He’s so calm wtf

“Oops! Haha, sorry Zhongli.” He laughed, releasing the poor child.

- Childe = scared for his life right now

- you walk out with Scaramouche, who’s babbling like CRAZYYYY

- because he was reverted to a baby, his mental knowledge has also somewhat reverted to his age (he remembers people but that’s about it)

“Childe, we have stuff to do today. Sooo I guess we’re bringing them with.” You decided, making your way to the door.

“Alright, Zhongli let’s go!” Childe cheered, following you.

- Zhongli waddled from the living space to the front door

“Your walking skills are getting good, Zhongli!” You expressed, “But, I think it’d be best if you held him, babe.” Immediately, Childe picked him up and went out the door.

- you followed behind with Scara

- going to the market was a blast!

- Scaramouche was babbling about every new thing he’d seen

- Zhongli was also talking a lot

- you guys had lunch at Wanmin restaurant (that’s the name right-)

- Childe definitely bought some toys for the two kids

“Don’t you think that’s a bit much, babe?” You asked, looking at the few toys he’d bought.

“No, not at all. It’s just like 8 toys.” He responded, visibly excited.

The moment Childe shook a little toy, Scaramouche’s attention was now attached to him. Immediately, Scara started squirming in your hold, luckily you kinda stabilized him so he began opening his arms towards Childe.

“Well, well, well. How the tables have turned.” He sneered, with a shit-eating grin.

You handed Scaramouche to him, in exchange for the toys he held. Now that Scara was distracted, you clutched onto Zhongli’s hand and continued shopping.

(The toys were stored in your bag <(￣︶￣)>)

- Zhongli was quite distracted as well

- he’d, once in awhile, pull you towards something that caught his attention

- Childe was doing okay with Scara (luckily)

After you finished your shopping, you returned home with a now sleeping Zhongli and Scaramouche.

Quietly setting them on the bed, you both exited to put away the groceries you had just finished purchasing.

“Whew! I had no idea how hard it was to tend after babies.” You exclaimed.

“Hmm, I’d say it wasn’t so bad today. Zhongli is quite calm for his current form and well… Scara is Scara.” He responded, laughing a bit at the end.

He gave you a quick peck on the lips before going to check on the two napping buddies.

- Zhongli woke up first

- you thought Scara kinda like passed away or some shit cause he was dead asleep (。_。)

- Zhongli attached himself to you after he awoke

- he was still kinda out of it and defo went back to sleep while you held him (Childe = jealous /hj)

- once you set him on the bed again, you and Childe took refuge on the couch (yes you guys have a couch-)

Your day as a make shift family was quite lovely per say <3

﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄﹃﹄

Notes: and just like that, it’s the end!

Yeah this one was super short and I apologize for that, but sadly half way through Childe’s I started getting distracted-

Anyways I do hope you enjoyed this one ^^

#genshin impact #genshin impact Imagines #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #zhongli #childe #tartaglia #zhongli x reader #zhongli x gender neutral reader #childe x reader #childe x gender neutral reader #genshin #scaramouche #Xiao #zuzu’s creations

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vukovich · 3 years ago

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peculiar prompt: soulmate au where your dick is the same exact length as your soulmate’s (i guess everyone has a dick in this universe idk 😂) anyways drarry discovering they are soulmates in whatever convoluted way you would like!

Nine and Three Quarters

Summer weddings were an unlikely tradition for a family that ran high to freckles and sunburns, but Harry didn't mind. Usually.

This wedding, though, he'd have just as soon not attended. It wasn't that he harbored any romantic intentions toward Charlie, but seeing him so bloody happy made Harry keenly aware of his own solitude.

Charlie and Constantin fed each other forkfuls of cake and grinned. They were perfectly-matched. Identical white short sleeve dress shirts and gold waistcoats, sparkling blue eyes and mirrored grins as they threatened each other with blobs of icing, much to Molly's horror.

Their matching gold rings felt like an extension of the tattoos on the underside of their left forearms. Charlie's was a dragon, of course. Constantin's was a crouched hippogriff. They were exactly the same size, but different designs and colors.

Forearm tattoos abounded among gay wizards, but it had taken seeing Charlie and Constantin together for him to notice the pattern. A plate of cake floated to his table and set itself down in front of him. He picked it apart with his fork, separating the layers of frosting out from the the cake, then mashed the fluffy cake down into a pellet.

A breathless Charlie flopped into an empty chair next to him and surveyed the wreckage on his plate.

"Got a grudge against that cake?"

"Huh? Oh. No. Sorry."

Charlie slid Harry's cake away, probably for its own good. Constantin and Fleur fox-trotted past, and one of them reached out to ruffle Charlie's hair.

"No date?"

"Nah." Harry licked his fork clean, rolled the bits of cake around in his mouth, and wished he'd have eaten the slice.

"Still doing the playboy thing, eh?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess."

Charlie huffed a laugh. "You guess? What else would you be doing at clubs?"

Harry shrugged again.

"Well, if you get tired of it and want the name of a really good soulmate tattoo artist, let me know." Charlie wiped up a dab of frosting off Harry's plate and popped his finger in his mouth. "Until then, enjoy hunting in the dark."

Charlie rose to leave, but Harry reached out and grabbed him by the buckle on the back of his waistcoat.

"Soulmate tattoos?"

"But I thought the tattoo went on my arm."

Harry kept his hands in his jeans pockets, just in case the man decided to help him disrobe.

"It does..."

Bushy grey eyebrows rose in speculation, and the man's brown eyes squinted at Harry, unsure of whether Harry was playing a prank, playing dumb, or playing at nothing.

"So why would I take my trousers off?"

"Riiiggght," he said slowly, gently spinning back and forth on his stool. "Why don't you tell me what you do know about soulmate tattoos."

Harry hooked his thumbs in his pockets and looked around the tattoo parlour for clues, but there was nothing but drawings on the walls. Pictures of forearms, too, all with differing sizes of beasts and creatures on them.

"Uhm," Harry started, "they go on forearms." The man nodded and motioned for him to continue. "And... they're... magic?"

The man shook his head and sighed. "The death of gay wizard culture, I swear. I blame that app."

"Wait, there's an app for-"

"Soulmate tattoos are the size of the wearer's dick."

Every tattoo Harry had ever seen ran through his head at once, and he stood slack-jawed for what felt like hours.

The man continued. "And so part of getting one is getting your dick measured. Professionally."

"I... Uh..."

"Men lie on the app. That's why all these boys are running around thinking they don't have soulmates, but older men know better. Back in the day, we'd just walk up to a bloke, line our arms up, and pair off."

Harry looked at the ceiling and tried to imagine a scenario in which that didn't sound both terrifying and oddly comforting.

"Why would you line them up?"

The man stared at him for a long. fucking. time.

"Soulmate dicks match, kid." He grumbled something about the Internet. "Now do you want the tattoo or not?"

"I... Uhm... Maybe later?"

"Suit yourself."

There had to be a better way to do this.

Harry balanced on tip-toe, focused on his dick with one eye, and dipped his quill. His tongue peeked out a corner of his lips as he concentrated on tracing around his shaft.

Was the quill angled accurately? Was the nib too far from his skin to be accurate? Was width even relevant?

He let out a held breath and dropped down to his heels. The paper on his desk was an embarrassment.

"Looks like a fucking caterpillar," he grumbled to himself.

Maybe they made enchanted quills for this.

The nook of art supplies at Flourish and Blotts was overwhelming, but it smelled good. Needle-sharp enchanted nibs sounded like a terrible idea. Image-grabbing paper sounded equally dangerous. What if he got his dick stabbed or absorbed into a piece of paper?

Someone cleared their throat behind him.

"Can I help you?"

Draco Malfoy met his eyes with a hesitant smile. He looked strangely at home surrounded by paper and ink. He wore a rumpled black t-shirt that advertised in bold white letters "Truth Quills: The Reign of Error Ends Here".

"Uhm... maybe?"

"What kind of project are you working on?"

"I'm... just... tracing something?"

Draco nodded and reached up to grab a pack of nibs just above Harry's head. The Dark Mark on his forearm caught Harry's eye. It wasn't a Dark Mark anymore. The skull wore a crown of red roses, and the snake had been filled in with vibrant yellow and blue markings. Harry decided it looked a bit like a Grateful Dead album cover. But prettier.

"These are good for most projects if you're just starting out."

Draco handed him a plastic box with more thingamajigs than he had any idea what to do with.

"Uhm, okay. Thanks."

"No problem." Draco's eyes wandered down to Harry's forearm and his smile faltered. "Anything else?"

"No, I think I'm good."

He wasn't good. He was nowhere near good, and he had black ink all over his dick. Also on his hands, and the table, and the floor, but those were less important.

"Looks like a goddamn Holstein dong."

"Alright," Draco said, and his smile was bordering on a smirk. "But what's the reference? What are you trying to trace?"

A dozen dick-shaped things came to mind, and Harry blurted, "A banana."

Draco did not laugh. Not with his mouth. Just with his eyes. His t-shirt today said "Blink Ink: Drier than your ex" in jagged black script.

"Mm hm," Draco squeaked through his nose. "Is accuracy important?"

Harry let out a relieved sigh. "Yes."

Draco cleared his throat and schooled his face. "Here."

He handed Harry a Truth Quill. "That ought to give you an accurate outline of your... banana."

"Hot damn!"

Harry held the outline of his cock up to the light. Damned if it wasn't perfect. He laid it face-down on his forearm and frowned. How was he supposed to get it onto his skin?

Draco faked a cough and covered his mouth and nose with his hand. "Pardon?"

"I need to transfer it."

"But a backlight won't work because..."

"Uhm... it can't... light can't go through the... other... thing."

Draco's t-shirt today had a frilly, looping font that said, "Nearotica: Almost There."

"Dare I ask what material you're transferring this banana onto?"

Harry focused on Draco's forearm, and the curve of the roses, and the sinewy body of the snake.

"Uhm... leather?"

Draco shot him a challenging look Harry didn't understand. "I suppose you'd want a cautery tool for that."

"Uhm... okay."

He wasn't okay. He had two burned dots on his forearm, and a hole in his paper at the base and tip of the outline.

Over a hundred galleons spent, and all he had to show for it were what looked like two mosquito bites that were exactly one penis-length apart.

The hell with all of it.

Harry dropped bags of barely-used art supplies on the store counter, and Draco's chin snapped up. He cocked his head and looked at the bags while Harry read his t-shirt: "Thrill Your Darlings: Tropes and Nopes."

"Didn't work out?" Draco asked.

Harry bent down, rested his elbows on the counter, and shook his head. "Can I return it?"

Draco shrugged. "Store credit, since it's all been opened."

Harry buried his face in his hands. "I'll take it in coloring books."

"I'll throw in some markers."

Draco shot him a pitying smile and stood to collect the bags. His eyes caught on the two burn marks on Harry's forearm. He set his elbow next to Harry's and pressed their wrists together.

"Huh," Draco exhaled. He rolled his tattoo against Harry's forearm. The peak of the rose crown touched the mark nearest Harry's wrist, and the snake's tail met the other.

Harry stared at their arms, wide-eyed and panicked in the best way.

"Is it-" Harry started. "Do they, uhm..."

"I... do believe so. If your banana outline was accurate."

Harry gulped. "It was."

"Huh," Draco repeated. "Well, in that case, there's a giant mandala coloring poster I've had my eye on, but it's a bit much for one person."

Harry let a grin spread across his face. "Consider it sold."

#peculiar prompts #drarry #drarry fluff #cw: self-harm (accidental)

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jungshookz · 4 years ago

Text

kiss me at midnight; myg

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; ceo!y/n x secretary!yoongiverse!! sfw!! fluff!! the title says it all!! this is the moment we’ve all been waiting for!!

➺ wordcount; 8.1k

➺ summary; y/n finally musters up enough courage to tell yoongi about her i-know-i’m-your-boss-but-i-have-non-boss-feelings-for-you feelings.

➺ what to expect; “careful, secretary min… i might have to give you a raise if you keep sweet-talking me like that.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

“let’s see… the decorators are coming at 2, the caterers are coming at 6:30, the DJ is coming at 7…” yoongi reads out loud as he goes down his checklist, “the bartender sent over the special drinks menu which i emailed to you this morning, and- ah, right, the caterers mentioned that they were able to switch the mini hot dogs to sliders instead-”

“oh, that’s great! mini hot dogs just don’t carry the same level of class as teeny little hamburgers…” you narrow your eyes slightly as you clasp your hands in front of your face, tapping your fingers against each other, “what about the chocolate lava cakes?”

“mhm, don’t worry, those are on the menu as well, as per your request,” yoongi pauses, “ah- the people bringing the photo-booths are coming to set them up at 5 - we’ve already cleared out the space for them, so that should be good to go… also, are we putting a limit on photos?”

“a limit?”

“yes, a limit,” yoongi looks up at you and shrugs, “there’s only so much film and it wouldn’t be fair for one person to take ten photos and for another person to not have any at all.”

you immediately scoff before dismissing yoongi with a flick of your wrist, “silly yoongi, you can’t put a limit on fun. just tell them we’re willing to pay for extra film and for one of their workers to hang out at the party and wait until the booths need refilling.”

“there.. is no limit… on fun…” yoongi mutters to himself as he continues to scribble notes down in his notebook, “and… that’s it!” he clicks his pen before tucking it back into his shirt pocket, “pretty much everything has been taken care of. if all goes well, this’ll be a fantastic new year’s eve party.”

“yay!” you throw your hands up into the air before leaning back against your chair with a giggle, “this is so exciting. i love throwing parties!”

“and i love planning parties...” yoongi hums absentmindedly, looking back down at his list, “so i guess we make a pretty good team...”

“teamwork makes the dream work, right?”

“mm.”

a couple seconds of silence ticks by as you scour through your brain for a new topic of discussion

you could... talk about the weather?

or maybe ask him what he did over the weekend?

ask him about what he did on christmas day??

“so…” you clear your throat, smoothing your skirt down before folding your arms on your desk and leaning forward slightly, “you bringin’ any... hot dates to the party tonight?”

wow

that was... not an ideal topic of discussion

also, way to sound like a creep!

“me?” yoongi glances up at you and tilts his head slightly, “well, i’ll be with you.” he pauses, dark brows knitting together, “did you… want me to bring a date?” he shifts in his seat, “i’m sure i can arrange for someone to accompany me if that’s what you want.”

“no!” your eyes widen and you shake your head quickly, “i mean- no, i was just- you know, i just- usually you have a plus-one that you bring to parties and, like, i’m sure that you probably had other new year’s plans that didn’t involve being at the party your boss is throwing- i’m just saying that perhaps, if you were planning on actually bringing someone, i just wouldn’t want to be a cock-block-”

you’re cut off (thankfully) when yoongi’s phone suddenly starts to buzz on your desk

he extends his arm and catches it right as it’s about to fall off (which, admittedly, shouldn’t have been as hot as it was, but yoongi could be sitting there doing nothing and you’d still find it attractive)

he holds a finger up pardon himself and you nod before leaning back a little

“hello? …oh, perfect. yes, i can come and pick them up now…” yoongi trails off, sandwiching his phone in between his ear and his shoulder before pushing his sleeve up a little to check the time on his watch, “i can be there in… roughly half an hour? yes. alright. perfect. see you soon.”

he hangs up with a beep before looking back over at you, “sorry about that! your dress and heels are ready for pick-up. what were you saying before my phone went off?”

“hm?” you clear your throat, “oh! uh… nothing. i was just- you know, small talk. but you can go now if you want to- i mean, obviously you need to go and pick up my outfit for tonight so i’ll just let you go-”

“alright, perfect-” yoongi nods and gets up from his seat, “i shouldn’t take too long but if anything comes up, just call me-”

“yep! you got it, homie-” you shoot finger guns at yoongi before quickly forcing your arms down and shoving both your hands in between your knees so that they won’t do anything like that again

your face flushes bright red as soon as the door shuts behind yoongi and a quiet groan slips past your lips before you smack your forehead down on your desk

jesus

that... was rough, to say the least!

sure, you fumble over your words whenever you talk to yoongi on a regular basis, but it’s never usually this bad...

what’s gotten into you today?!

maybe it’s just the pre-party jitters!

“get it together, y/l/n.” you mutter to yourself, patting your cheeks lightly before pulling your laptop towards you and opening it up

if there’s anyone who can get you get your shit together, it’s hoseok

Y/N Y/L/N (10:12AM): help me

you perk up when hoseok responds almost immediately, your laptop letting out a little ping! from his message

you have half a mind to scold him for not doing work and being on the company’s messaging system but you dO need to talk to him right now so

Jung Hoseok (10:12AM): What did you do this time

Y/N Y/L/N (10:12AM): nothing!! idk what’s wrong with my mouth today i’ve never called anyone homie in my entire life

Jung Hoseok (10:13AM): ?

Y/N Y/L/N (10:13AM): you had to be here to understand :-//

Jung Hoseok (10:13AM): Okay well

Jung Hoseok (10:13AM): I don’t know what I’m supposed to say now

Y/N Y/L/N (10:13AM): can you just come to my office because it’s too much to type out

Y/N Y/L/N (10:13AM): and bring me an iced coffee from the vending machine while you’re at it because yoongi left to pick my dress up

Jung Hoseok (10:14AM): Let me get this straight

Jung Hoseok (10:14AM): You want me to stop working and you want me to go to your office so we can gossip about Yoongi

Y/N Y/L/N (10:14AM): gossip sounds bad

Y/N Y/L/N (10:14AM): ‘discuss’ sounds more professional

Jung Hoseok (10:14AM): …

Jung Hoseok (10:15AM): See you in ten minutes lmao

»»————-　♡　————-««

“you asked him if he was planning on bringing a date to the party?!” hoseok laughs, leaning back against the chair before folding his arms over his chest and shaking his head, “wow. what, are you going to help him plan his wedding too?”

“don’t say that!” you groan, rubbing your fingers against your temples in tight circles, “i was just trying to start a conversation… i don’t know...”

“start a conversation? about what? about encouraging yoongi to be with someone who isn’t you?”

“keep up the attitude and i’ll reduce your lunch break from one hour and fifteen minutes to one hour and fourteen minutes.” you raise a brow in warning, hoseok gawking before wagging a finger at you

“i’ll report you to HR for abuse of power!” he jokes, his smile faltering when he notices that you still have that mopey, kicked-in-the-gut look on your face, “okay, think about it this way: this party couldn’t have come at a better time, you know? because now you know exactly what you have to do!”

“huh? oh, right.” you nod slowly, “yeah, of course i know what i have to do at tonight’s party.” you snort, pulling away from your desk and sitting up straight, “but... you know, just to make sure that you know what it is that i have to do, would you mind telling me what exactly we’re saying i have to do?”

“y/n. come on.” hoseok presses his lips together before leaning forward, “what do people usually do at new year’s eve parties?” he asks gently, in that infuriatingly condescending tone that people usually use when they’re talking to children

“people share their new year’s resolutions with each other?” you hum, thinking back to the new year’s eve party you were at last year where you ended up talking to a very friendly bartender about all the plans you had in mind for the new year

you can’t help but wonder how he’s doing

“well, yeah, but not quite what i had in mind-” hoseok shakes his head, “what else do they do?”

“they... sing karaoke really loudly?” you frown before letting out a gasp, “oh no! i didn’t think of that! do you think it’s too late to rent a karaoke machi-”

“wow, i really have to spoon-feed this to you-” hoseok slaps his hands against his thighs before letting out a huff, “a new year’s kiss, y/n. does that ring any bells?”

“oh, right! i forgot about that part,” you chuckle lightly, tilting your head back against the top of your chair to look up at the ceiling, “but what does that have to do with-” you pause, head snapping back down to look at hoseok with wide eyes, “oh, you’re saying that i should- with yoongi- hoseok, i can barely look at yoongi for five seconds without breaking eye contact-”

“why not?! its new years! you have to have someone to smooch when it’s midnight. even i have someone to kiss!”

“wait, who are you kiss-”

“and you know what the best part is?” hoseok grins, “you have an excuse to get super drunk tonight! and a drunk y/n is a slightly more confident y/n-”

“oh, i can’t- i can’t ask him, no.” you chuckle nervously, your hands suddenly feeling a little clammy at the thought of asking yoongi to kiss you, “because then he’s going to feel like he has to kiss me because i’m his boss, and the next thing you know, i’m being called up to HR-”

“you’re overthinking this again, y/n,” hoseok sighs, “don’t forget the fact that i caught him checking you out at the halloween party. you have to admit that he’s slightly interested in you.”

“that’s different!” you argue, your brows furrowing, “i was dressed as a sexy friggin’ bunny, for god’s sake!”

“and tonight, you’ll be dressed as a sexy friggin’ boss! the only difference is that you won’t have a little cotton tail and two bunny ears-”

“i don’t know…”

hoseok rolls his eyes at your doubt and resists the urge to get up and slap you across the face to get you to come to your senses

you can’t expect anything to happen between you and yoongi if you’re not willing to do something about it in the first place

he can’t even list out how many times you guys have had similar conversations that always end in you chickening out and changing your mind

you were supposed to make a move at the halloween party but you ended up bailing on the plan at the last minute and hoseok had to listen to half an hour of you whining about it over the phone

he adores you but sometimes he just wants to grab you and yell at you for being such a wimp when it comes to yoongi

“okay, you know what? forget yoongi. i’ll be your new year’s kiss!” hoseok teases, leaning forward before wiggling his eyebrows enticingly, “maybe if people see me canoodling with the boss i’ll finally get the street cred i deserve-”

“you know, i don’t know if i’ve reached that level of desperation quite yet-”

“i’m a great kisser, so it’s your loss...” hoseok kisses his teeth, raising his hands in defense, “anyways, just try not to overthink it. take a deep breath, relax, and hopefully you won’t point any more lame finger guns at yoo-”

“-ooou’re fired!” you stand up and slam your fist down on the desk the moment yoongi steps into the room, hoseok jolting at the sudden announcement, “you are fired, my good sir! you heard me loud and clear!”

yoongi’s eyes widen slightly and he presses his lips together before stepping aside and lowering his head

“what the hell are yo-” hoseok glances over his shoulder and it dawns over him when he spots yoongi standing by the door, “oh! oh. uh, okay. yes... i am... devastated...” he clears his throat as he rises from the chair slowly, “please... give me a second chance? i... won’t do it again?”

you blink, pulling down your blazer slightly before giving him a curt nod

“...okay, but this is your last chance. next time, you’re really fired.” you clear your throat, sitting back down before gesturing towards the door, “you may leave now, mr. jung.”

yoongi nods in acknowledgement when hoseok walks past him and he waits a couple of seconds before speaking up

“sorry. i didn’t realize you were busy because the door wasn’t closed all the way.” he smiles sheepishly, raising the garment bag in his hand, “i just wanted to put your dress in the closet for you.”

“yes! go ahead.” you smile, gesturing towards the closet before sitting back down in your chair

“by the way, i passed by that breakfast place on the way to the laundromat-” yoongi pauses, glancing over at you on his way to the closet, “you know, the place that makes those BLT bagels you like so much?”

“ooh, with the spicy mayo and the avocado?”

“mhm-” yoongi smiles, shutting the closet door gently and turning to face you, “they do chocolate chip waffles now and i thought maybe that’d be something you’d be interested in for future breakfasts.”

“oh, no way!” your eyes widen in excitement, “i’m very interested in chocolate chip waffles for future breakfasts!”

“that’s what i thought.” he chuckles, making his way back towards the doors, “anyway- i’ll be out there if you need me, boss.”

“mhm!”

you immediately get up from your chair as soon as yoongi leaves the room

you told yourself that you were going to wait until tonight but you’ve been thinking about your dress all week and you wanna see it now!!

“dress, dress, dress-” you murmur to yourself like a maniac, your heels clicking against the floor as you jog over to the closet

you push down a squeal of excitement after unzipping the garment bag and getting a good look at your outfit for tonight

you spent hours searching for the perfect dress and it was totally worth it now that you’re looking at it

it’s a navy blue midi-length dress that sort of cinches in at the waist but the skirt itself is relaxed so you don’t need to worry about your legs being constricted

there’s also a high slit in the skirt which is exciting (you had to shave your legs yesterday which wasn’t as exciting)

and it’s a long sleeve dress but the sleeves and sheer and billowy but cap around your wrists

it’s classy but also a little sexy but not like your halloween playboy costume level of sexy

you’re still not sure what possessed you to dress up as a playboy bunny but even you have to admit that that little black dress looked great on you

you zip the bag back up before pushing it aside to sneak a peek at the suit that yoongi will be wearing to the party

he asked if he could keep his suit in your closet and obviously you said yes because it’s yoongi

your eyes light up when you notice something peculiar about his outfit

it’s navy blue as well!!

the corners of your mouth lift in a wide grin, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of you and yoongi (unintentionally, but still) wearing matching colours tonight

heh

»»————-　♡　————-««

“c’mon, stupid thing...” yoongi frowns to himself as he struggles to tie his tie

he’s been at it for the last ten minutes and it seems like his gummy worm fingers aren’t going to be useful anytime soon

and it probably doesn’t help that he’s using his phone camera as a mirror instead of going to the bathroom to use the actual mirror

he doesn’t know if it showed this morning but he’s been a nervous wreck all day!

he practically zipped out of your office as soon as he had the chance to and he just hopes that you’re not suspecting anything

it’s just that as each day goes by, he gets more and more conflicted over what to do about his feelings for you

this wasn’t supposed to happen!

when he first realized that you liked him, he was flattered and admittedly it was a nice stroke to his ego knowing that his boss was interested in him, but he didn’t know it’d turn into this

he didn’t know he’d end up liking you back

this is a disaster!

he’s not supposed to like you back!

he already tried forcing himself to stop liking you but if anything it’s made things worse

he thought your schoolgirl crush was sweet at first and then one day he found your poor excuse of asking him to stay after hours to help you re-organize your pens was cute and ever since then it’s gone downhill

like the other day when he was eating lunch with you - you took the paper sleeve that holds the chopsticks and you folded it into a makeshift chopstick rest and gave it to him to use and,,. he’d have to be crazy to not find that wildly endearing

yoongi lets out a huff and leans back against his chair as he looks at himself on his phone screen

“good going, moron.” he grumbles to himself before lifting his hand and flipping himself off, “you and your feelings.”

of course, it’s not technically a... bad thing that he likes you back, right?

...but what’s everyone going to think?

he knows that he’s on the list of people getting the christmas bonus (because he helped you type it out) but what if people think he just slept his way to the money??

oh, god

that’s not who he is!

this is too much to think about right now

he just had this suit pressed and he’s not about to ruin it by nervously sweating in it

he’s just going to enjoy this party with you and then deal with his feelings later!

future yoongi can handle it

present yoongi is just going to enjoy the ride B-)

“whatcha up to?”

“-!” yoongi jumps and scrambles up from his seat when he hears your voice all of a sudden, “y/n! sorry, i didn’t hear you come out of... your... office...” he trails off, voice softening slightly as he takes in how beautiful you look in your dress

obviously he already knew what you were going to wear because he was the one who picked up your outfit from the dry cleaner’s but... it’s a different experience actually seeing you in it

beautiful

there’s really no other way to describe it

you look... beautiful.

“i don’t know why on earth you’re wearing a tie to a party.” you snort, eyes flicking down to the tie hanging loosely around his neck, “this isn’t a business meeting, yoongi.” (you decided it’d be best to take hoseok’s advice. no overthinking - just relaxing! and it seems to be going well...)

“oh.” yoongi snaps himself out of his daze before shaking his head, “i… i don’t know why, either. i guess i’m just used to wearing a tie.”

“well, i say ditch it - you know, let loose a little! it’s new year’s eve, after all.”

before yoongi even knows it, you’re stepping towards him and sliding the tie from his neck in one swift movement before tossing it onto his desk

ᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ

you even smell pretty

he freezes when you reach up to undo a couple of buttons on his shirt, his hands gripping the edge of his desk so tightly that his knuckles are stark white

“there we go!” you smile, fixing yoongi’s collar before nodding to yourself, “much better. also, do you think you can help me with my heels? i put them on already but the little buckles are flimsy and i can’t do them because of my nails.” you raise both your hands before wiggling your fingers

“mhm, of course.” yoongi steps aside and gestures towards his chair, “take a seat and i’ll take care of them for you.”

yoongi’s chair squeaks slightly as you sit down on it and you make a mental note to get him a new one

...maybe you should get everyone in the office new chairs to make your crush on yoongi less obvious

lots to think about

“so, do you think anyone’s going to have fun tonight?” you ask quietly, leaning back against the chair, “i’m nervous.”

“i’m sure everyone’s going to have fun, y/n,” yoongi lowers himself onto the ground so that he’s down on one knee before raising your leg so that your foot is pressed against his chest, “they get free food, free alcohol, and there are fun 2021 party hats and stupid 2021 glasses to match. what’s not to love?”

“me. i’m the part they don’t love.” you snort, propping your elbow up on yoongi’s desk before leaning against your fist, “i’m gonna take one step onto the rooftop and immediately ruin the party somehow. i bet the dj will stop playing music and his records will make that awkward scratchy sound.”

“don’t be so harsh on yourself…” yoongi scolds, tucking the thin strap into the buckle and giving it a little tug to make sure it’s nice and secure before lowering your foot gently, “besides, if anyone looks at you weirdly, i can just call security and have them escorted out of the party.” he tuts, smiling up at you as he lifts your other foot

“ooh. careful, secretary min… i might have to give you a raise if you keep sweet-talking me like that.” you joke, pushing the ball of your foot gently against yoongi’s chest teasingly

“oh, yeah? i wouldn’t be opposed to that, boss…” the corner of yoongi’s mouth twitches in a side smirk as he slips the other strap into place, “alright, there we go! heels are nice and secure.”

he gets up from the ground, dusting his knee off before extending his hand to help you get up from his chair, “ready?”

“as ready as i’ll ever be...” you reach for his hand only to pause, your nose scrunching slightly as you pull away, “i don’t know. let’s think this through. do we have to go to the party?”

“well, you are the host.” yoongi points out, “and i planned the whole thing! do you know how hard it was to arrange for a karaoke machine on new year’s eve?” he frowns playfully, “you can’t bail on me like this.”

“i guess...”

“listen- whenever you want to leave, just let me know and i’ll grab the entire plate of sliders, a crisp bottle of champagne, and then we’ll head back down here to eat, drink, and watch the fireworks from your office window.” yoongi tilts his head, his hand still out for you to take, “deal?”

“...throw in the chocolate lava cakes as well and we have a deal.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

“wow! you really outdid yourself, yoongi.” you nod in approval as you look around, “look at this place!”

you never even knew the rooftop had the ability to look like some trendy upscale bar that sells cocktails for $30 each

“hey, if this secretary thing doesn’t work out, maybe i could become a party planner.” yoongi jokes, lifting his glass up with a smile

“you know, i really think you could.” you clink your glass against his before taking a sip of the bubbly champagne, “by the way, you don’t have to hang out with me all night. you’re allowed to go and mingle with your coworkers.”

“i know.” yoongi hums before his nose scrunches slightly, “but every time i talk to them, they’re always gossiping about something and i think gossiping is unproductive.”

“wha-” you gawk, your lashes fluttering, “you’re telling me that you’ve had access to juicy office gossip this whole time and not once have i ever heard any of it??”

“i mean...”

“you have to tell me something. i’ll take anything!”

you grin excitedly when yoongi gestures for you to come in closer

“jungkook and tzuyu had sex on the photocopier by the supplies room.” he blurts out quickly, clearing his throat before taking a sip of his own champagne, “but you didn’t hear it from me!”

“they- what?!” you gasp in shock, jaw practically dropping to the floor, “they did?? during work??”

“no, it was after work!” yoongi shakes his head, “i think you had a meeting across town that night which is why we weren’t here... otherwise we... probably would’ve heard it but- it’s on the CCTV security cameras and everything. of course, since the photocopier is kind of out of frame, you can only see their lower halves-”

“well, then how do you know it was jungkook and tzuyu??”

“their shoes! and jungkook’s socks. he’s the only one who wears bright purple rubber-duckie socks to work.”

the two of you turn to look at jungkook across the rooftop and you blink before looking back over at yoongi with a pout

“that’s my favourite photocopier.” you mutter, “i hope they didn’t get any... fluids inside of it-”

“gross! why would it be inside of the machine?!”

“i don’t know! people go crazy during sex sometimes!” you raise your hands in defense before clearing your throat quietly, “okay, but seriously, i feel like having vigorous sex on a piece of office equipment is definitely violating something so i might have to bring them in for a little chat-”

“ooh, can i be there when you scold them?”

“absolutely-”

“miss y/n?” you jump in surprise when someone taps your shoulder gently from behind

you glance over your shoulder to see joy before smiling politely, turning around fully to face her, “joy! what’s up?”

“i’d like to talk to you about something, if that’s alright - do you have a moment?”

“oh! um, of course-” you pause, turning to hand yoongi your glass, “let’s head over there for some privacy. what’s on your mind?”

“it’s just... you know, regarding past comments i may or may not have made about you-” she chuckles uneasily, “seeing as you still have to figure out who’s getting christmas bonuses this year, i thought that-”

yoongi bites back a grin when you turn back to look at him with pleading eyes and he shrugs helplessly before raising his own glass at you and downing the rest of the champagne

»»————-　♡　————-««

yoongi’s never been a huge fan of parties mainly because he’d much rather enjoy a bottle of champagne and full-sized burgers in the comfort of his own home

he really only started going to parties once you became CEO of the company and he wasn’t left with a choice because he was worried that you’d fire him if he didn’t attend any of these festive celebrations

he likes to think that you’ve opened him up to new experiences, helping him become a better human being overall

:-)

“hey!” yoongi chokes on his tiny burger patty when someone gives his back a hearty slap, “i’ve been looking for you everywhere! i have a bone to pick with you, min yoongi.”

yoongi’s brows furrow in confusion when it’s hoseok that plops down on the bar stool next to him

“what-” yoongi swallows his bite before giving his chest a couple of pats to help get the masticated chunks of meat down smoother, “what did i do??”

hoseok opens his mouth to say something before pausing, eyes flickering to the side as he reconsiders what he’s about to say

he’s a little tipsy thanks to the open bar so he didn’t really think this decision through but he’s here now so it’s a little late to back out

you explicitly asked him not to meddle but he feels like if he doesn’t do anything, then you’ll never do anything and you’ll just go to the grave keeping your feelings for yoongi a secret

does this count as meddling?

he just has to find a way to steer the conversation towards the topic of you and yoongi and romance

this might be meddling, now that he’s thinking about it

...

it’s fine!

he’ll do it in such a subtle way that yoongi won’t even notice!

“it’s not something that you’ve done. it’s something that you haven’t done.” hoseok clears his throat, narrowing his eyes at yoongi suspiciously, “do you like y/n? because she likes you.”

(not very subtle, but hoseok never likes to beat around the bush.)

“woah-” yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise and he lets out a nervous chuckle before looking around, “ha, i- um- where did you get that idea from?”

“you didn’t deny it.” hoseok grins in success, “so you do?”

“i...” yoongi pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek before he lets out a huff and his shoulders droop in defeat, “yeah. yeah, i do. ...but what does that have to do with you?”

“oh, it has everything to do with me!” hoseok chirps, clapping his hands together excitedly, “i’m here to give you advice!”

“yeah, okay,” yoongi immediately scoffs and rolls his eyes as he turns back to pick up his drink, “no offense, but i don’t think i should be getting advice from the guy who was almost fired today-”

“oh, please, i wasn’t getting fired when you walked in.” hoseok raises a brow, “we were talking about you before you barged in so y/n obviously panicked and changed the subject to make it look like she wasn’t going all goo-goo-ga-ga over you-”

“what? you were- y/n was talking about me?” yoongi perks up, his interest in the conversation suddenly reigniting, “really?”

“she’s always talking about you,” hoseok points out, “don’t get me wrong - i love going to her office to talk about you instead of doing my work, but it’s exhausting! which is part of the reason as to why i’m willing to give you advice to get this show on the road.”

“i don’t need advice, though.”

“of course you need advice. if one of you finally made a move, i wouldn’t need to give you advice, but here i am.” hoseok gestures to himself before shrugging, “so... what’s wrong with you?”

yoongi scoffs in offense

that’s a little ruDE

“what’s wrong with me?”

“yeah. why haven’t you made a move yet if you like y/n back?” hoseok emphasizes as a reminder that this crush goes two ways and that yoongi can be blamed for the lack of action just as much as you

“because... i can’t! it’s not that easy, man.” yoongi shakes his head, “i can’t just ask her out. she’s... like... she’s miss y/n.”

“yes. and the sky is blue.” hoseok frowns, “i’m sorry, what’s the problem?”

“she’s the boss!” yoongi snaps, glaring over at hoseok, “she’s our boss!”

“exactly! she’s the boss! if you’re going to date someone in the office, it might as well be the person signing off everyone’s paycheques at the end of each month-”

“but you can’t- the rules!”

“what rules??”

“there are no rules! that’s why i’m so confused! i’m used to rules! that’s how the world works in my head! what the hell am i supposed to do now? go rogue?! i’ve never gone rogue before!”

“oh, god, who do you think you are? some secret agent? all you’re doing is asking someone out-”

“i can’t date y/n-”

“give me a legitimate reason as to why you can’t date y/n.”

“i’ll be penalized!”

“who’s going to penalize you?!”

“the boss of our boss!”

“please!” hoseok groans loudly, throwing his head back in frustration, “you don’t think he’s goofed around with any of his secretaries?”

“okay, but this isn’t me goofing around with y/n, this is me... being serious with y/n!” yoongi presses his lips together, unsure of what to say next, “yeah. i wanna be serious with y/n.”

“i promise you that no one cares about relationships as long as work is handed in on time and bags of money are being made.” hoseok hums, gesturing for the bartender to fix up another drink for him

having this conversation about you with yoongi is just as exhausting as having this conversation about yoongi with you

...

he doesn’t know if that sentence made any sense but all this alcohol is making the words jumble up together

“well, okay, but-” yoongi chuckles nervously, turning and setting his glass down on the bar countertop, “then we’d have to make a file with HR declaring the status of our relationship, and then we’d have to talk about whether or not we want to keep things private or let the whole office know- oh, god, and what if it doesn’t work out? what if we break up? it’d be embarrassing after having declared our love for each other in front of everyone! and favouritism! don’t even get me started on favouritism! people are going to bag on y/n if they find out that i’m on the list of people getting a bonus! ...but, in my defense, even if we weren’t together i would probably still be on that list because i’m hardworking-”

“yoongi-” hoseok interrupts, slapping both his hands down on his shoulders before letting out a sigh, “do you like y/n?”

“yes.” yoongi answers without missing a beat, “i like y/n. a lot.”

“okay. then that’s all that matters, right?”

yoongi opens his mouth to respond but he pauses

huh

that... is a fair point...

it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks about his relationship with you

what is it about alcohol that makes some people so wise?

“do you know what kind of a person you’d be if you just repressed your feelings and pretended that they didn’t exist at all? a coward, that’s what you’d be. because y/n is a fantastic woman and you need to hurry up and make a damn move before she realises she’s wasting her time on you and moves on to someone else who isn’t afraid to show their true feelings for her.” hoseok shakes his head gently before pulling away from yoongi with a nonchalant shrug and a snort, “but, you know - i’m drunk as hell and i’ve had nothing to eat so all the things coming out of my mouth righ’now could be complete and utter bullshit!” he hiccups, giggling to himself, “who knows!”

“well… what do you suggest i do?”

“what else do you do at a new year’s eve party?” hoseok’s head flops to the side, the over consumption of nothing but champagne suddenly hitting him like a brick wall

“…share new year’s resolutions?”

“wha- god, you guys are truly the perfect pair- no, dumbass, you kiiissss someone at midnight.” hoseok slurs, “you already know she’s into you. and now i know that you’re into her so she’s definitely not going to oppose giving you a big ol smooch!”

“well, it’s-” yoongi pulls his sleeve up to check his watch, anxiety bubbling in his stomach when he realizes there are exactly twelve minutes to midnight, “oh, god.”

okay

that’s fine!

it’s fine, he can work with twelve minutes!

all he has to do is 1) find you, 2) start a casual conversation, 3) somehow transition the casual conversation into a not so casual conversation about his feelings for you, 4) transition from the not so casual conversation to asking if you’d like to be his new year’s kiss, 5)-

“i can’t pull this off in twelve minutes. i don’t know how i’m going to do this!” yoongi swallows thickly, turning to look at hoseok (who’s starting to doze off), “how the hell am i going to do this??”

hoseok picks himself up off the counter, turning to face yoongi before a wide smile spreads on his face and a little gasp of excitement slips past his lips, “hey! i’ve been looking for you everywhere. i have a bone to pick with you, min yoongi-”

“okay, buddy-” yoongi quickly reaches out to keep hoseok from toppling over, “you’ve definitely had one too many-”

»»————-　♡　————-««

ding!

yoongi steps off the elevator with a huff, quickly checking the time on his watch for the millionth time tonight

he spent two minutes running around the rooftop like a headless chicken in case you were still up there somewhere

luckily jungkook told him that he saw you leave the rooftop and there’s really only one other place that you’d be

he makes his way down the hallway towards the double doors of your office, smiling in success when he sees that one of the doors is slightly ajar

bingo!

maybe it’s because he’s now confident about his true feelings for you, but he feels like there’s a spring in his step right now!

(it could also be because of the liquid courage, but that’s neither here nor there.)

he pushes the door open a little to stick his face in, giving himself a mental high five as he sees you leaning against your desk with a flute of champagne in your hand, staring out the window

“hey!” yoongi clears his throat, knocking on the door gently, “there you are.”

“hm?” you turn to glance over your shoulder, “oh, yoongi! yeah, hey.”

“i didn’t realize you’d disappeared... i would’ve brought the sliders with me if i knew you were in here.” he jokes, shutting the door behind him with a quiet click, “everything okay?”

“ah, well. maybe next time.” you smile stiffly, turning away from him to look back out, “yeah, everything’s fine. joy practically talked my ear off up there so i just felt like i needed to get away from the party for a little while.”

“you know, the fireworks are starting soon...” yoongi points out as he makes his way over to you, “you’re probably going to get better pictures of them up there than down here in your office.”

“yeah, i know… but it’s also going to be very loud up on the rooftop and i’d prefer to start the new year off with working eardrums.” your nose wrinkles as you let out a chuckle, “also, i…”

“what?”

“i… i don’t know, i just don’t really want to start the new year awkwardly standing in the middle while everyone else is getting new year’s kisses.” you reach up to scratch the back of your neck before chuckling awkwardly, “that… makes me sound like a very bitter single person and i swear it wasn’t supposed to come off that way-”

“no, i totally get it.” yoongi shakes his head as he wipes his hands on the side of his pants, “as a matter of fact, i kind of wanted to talk to you about something-”

“hold on, hold on- before you say anything, i-” you interrupt him, turning to set your glass down, “i, um- i have something that i wanna say to you as well. can i go first?”

“oh! yes, okay….” yoongi cowers down a little, pressing his lips together tightly, “is... everything alright?”

“yeah!” you nod quickly before pausing, “i mean, sort of. kind of. i’m… not sure if it’s going to be a good idea or not, but i just want to let you know that if you… you know, if you feel uncomfortable or something after i tell you this, you’re free to pack up and leave, you know? i mean, i actually already have a letter of recommendation written for you so if you wanna go off and work for someone else, i’ve already put in a lot of good words for you-”

“woah, woah-” yoongi raises his hands before letting out a chuckle, “i- while i definitely appreciate the gesture, you know i’m… not planning on going anywhere, right?”

“yeah, well… things change!” you clear your throat, gaze averting as you reach up to scratch the back of your neck, “things... change. i… don’t mean to sound so elementary school about it, but i…” you trail off, the little voice in the back of your head reminding you that this is your last chance to back out and not tell yoongi about your feelings for him

you’ve chickened out more than a handful of times, so what’s going to different about this time around?

you look up at yoongi and he blinks twice before offering you a soft smile, “you…?”

how are you supposed to back out when he’s looking at you like that?

and maybe it’s just because he looks particularly handsome tonight in his suit or because you’re all riled up on cocktails, but...

“i like you.” you blurt out, trying your best not to cringe or make any faces, “like… in a… romantic? way?”

yoongi’s eyes widen and the smile fades from his face, though you don’t have much time to process whatever reaction that was before he’s speaking up

“you like me.” yoongi repeats, swallowing thickly before nodding, “in a romantic way.”

“yeah.” you shrug, “and i have for a while, but i just never said or did anything about it because i thought it was inappropriate - you know, because i’m your boss and around the time i started liking you was when we held that seminar for workplace harassment and i didn’t want to make you feel like i was harassing you or creeping on you or anything - a-anyways, at first i thought i was attracted to you solely because you’re hot in that broody, college skater-boyfriend kind of way and i thought it’d go away on its own, but then the feelings never went away, and then i thought that maybe this was just a more serious schoolgirl-type crush that would take time to go away, but then a lot of time went by and it still didn’t go away, so… here we are now, at the end of the year, and i… still have a huge, huge crush on you-”

“-i like you too.”

“okay, cool, but i’m not done talking about-” you pause, your eyes flickering upwards, “wait, what?”

“i like you, y/n.” yoongi breathes out with a smile, his shoulders visibly relaxing, “actually, i’ve known for a long time that you liked me and at first i was just flattered and admittedly i was a little cocky about it but then i... actually started to like you one day and- well, i didn’t want to say anything because- woah-!”

yoongi yelps when suddenly a paperweight is hurled in his direction and nearly whacks him in the face, “what the f-”

“are you kidding me, yoongi?!” you snap, slapping your hands down as you glare at him across your desk, “are you kidding me?!”

“okay, i-i-” yoongi stammers, “i wasn’t expecting this reaction so i’m not entirely sure how i’m supposed to-”

“you knew that i liked you this entire time-” you groan, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose, “and you knew that you liked me this entire time... and you didn’t say or do anything about it?!”

“well, why didn’t you do anything about it first?” yoongi exasperates, “you- you’re just as much at fault here as i am!”

“because i-” you laugh lightly in disbelief, “because i thought that if i told you that i liked you, that you would feel pressured into saying that you liked me back because i’m your boss! how would i know if your feelings were genuine or if you were just playing along? of course i couldn’t tell you!”

yoongi chews on the inside of his cheek anxiously as you let out a huff before stepping away from your desk and heading over to stand by the window again

“i...” he trails off, bending down to pick up the paperweight before setting it down on your desk gently, “i’m sorry that you... struggled with that... but... i think the important thing is that i do like you, y/n. i genuinely like you, and i was an idiot for not saying anything earlier... i let my doubts get in the way and...” he sighs, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, “i’m not good at- i’m not good at dealing with this kind of stuff and usually i just brush it aside and hope the problem goes away but i see you almost every single day so i couldn’t just brush it aside-”

“yeah, well-”

both of you freeze up when you suddenly hear the countdown chanting echo from up on the rooftop and yoongi feels his heart plummet to his stomach when he realizes he didn’t even ask if you wanted to be his new year’s kiss

shit

shit!

“i’m just-” yoongi shakes his head furiously, “i get nervous when there are no rules and there certainly isn’t a handbook for what to do when you’re attracted to your boss-”

10!

you let out a scoff as you turn to face him, “-and you think there’s a handbook for what to do when you’re attracted to your secretary?!-”

“i was a total coward for not saying anything sooner and i wish i did! i wish i kissed you at the halloween party!”

“you- you wanted to kiss me at the halloween party?”

“of course i did, dumbass!” the name slips out of yoongi’s mouth before he even realizes it and he smiles sheepishly when you give him a warning look, “...miss dumbass.”

“anyways,” yoongi coughs, “i-if you’re still interested, i’d really like to kiss you tonight if that’s okay-”

“wait, did hoseok put you up to this?” you narrow your eyes in suspicion before pointing to yourself, “because he told me to ask you to kiss me tonight-”

“yeah, he put me up to this because we both know that you certainly weren’t going to make the first move-”

“how dare you?” you scoff, crossing your arms stubbornly, “i could make the first move if i really wanted to-”

“what?! that’s bullsh- oh my god, can we agree now to kiss first and then argue about this later?!” yoongi snaps, eyes full of panic at the thought of not making it on time, “please??”

“fine, but-”

1- HAPPY NEW YEAR!

you don’t get a chance to say anything else before yoongi swoops in swiftly to lean in and kiss you, warm hands quickly reaching up to cup either sides of your face

the sound of people cheering and fireworks going off in the sky is nothing compared to the erratic thumping of your heart and the high-pitched ringing in your ears

oh, wow

your lashes flutter as you feel yourself relax, your fists uncurling against yoongi so that your hands rest on his chest

you can feel his rapid heartbeat through his shirt and that’s all the confirmation you need to know that yoongi really, truly likes you back

yoongi’s hands leave your face so that he can reach down to grasp your hips and pull you towards him, only for his arms to snake around your waist a second later

your hands slide up his chest before your arms wrap loosely around his neck, feeling as though nothing else matters except what’s happening right now

you’ve dreamt about this moment for so long but it’s so much better than you could’ve possibly imagined it to be

and you’re not sure if it’s the copious amount of champagne that you consumed tonight but you just feel so warm inside

yoongi pulls away (far too soon for your liking), his eyes lidded and hazy as he smiles fondly down at you, “happy new year, boss.”

you can’t fight back the wide grin on your face when he leans down to nudge his nose against yours, both of your hearts undoubtedly beating in time

“happy new year, secretary min.”

❄️christmas with cee 2020 masterlist 🎄

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here?

or perhaps you want something shorter to read?

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xiu21chen99 · 4 years ago

Text

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

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studiobeebo · 4 years ago

Text

~♡ Shio, Shoyu, Miso ♡~ [1/?]

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x Female (she/her) Reader

Warnings: None

Words: 1.9K

Genre: y’all already know it’s just gonna be fluff

A/N: so i made a lil thing sorta based off this cute thing i saw on reddit. idk what i’m doing pls don’t ask.

reblogs are greatly appreciated as they are the main way to get my works around so please consider doing so if you like it! enjoy!

When you had first met Megumi, you honestly didn’t think much of him.

Now, that’s not to say you didn’t find him attractive, but a cute guy around your age coming into the shop with a few of his friends just really wasn’t something very noteworthy in your life. You had only been helping your parents around your family owned ramen shop for about a year or so, but that was long enough to know that the general demographic was people who wanted a tasty, warm meal without having to blow too much money. Needless to say, teenagers fit that demographic fairly well.

Your shop was well known in the area, but it was by no means fancy. In fact the building was a tad bit run down, you didn’t even have any decorations or anything hanging up on the walls and the entirety of it only seated maybe thirty people, so it was clear people didn’t frequent the place because of the ambiance. No, the reason you always seemed to have a steady stream of customers was that the food was simply so good that despite the lack of an enticing atmosphere or even many food options, people couldn’t help but be drawn to it. That mashed together with your friendly family and the decent prices made for a perfect little neighborhood place to eat. So again, when a group of three slightly noisy teenagers sat themselves down at one of the bar tables on the far side of the seating area, you didn’t really have any reason to bat an eye.

“Hey welcome guys!” You put on your usual cheery customer service voice as you filled their glasses with ice water, trying not to lean into any of their personal spaces. “Your options are salt, soy, or miso ramen, with or without beef and or pork. Do you need some time to think about it or do you think you’re ready to order now?”

Like you said, there weren’t many options.

“Oh, can I get soy?! Or maybe- hm, maybe I’ll have miso…”

“You’re tasteless, miso is the worst kind.”

“I bet you’ve never even tried it, Kugisaki!”

“They’re going to need a minute to think. That bit’s hard for them.”

The taller boy with dark hair and an apparently permanent scowl on his face groaned out in annoyance, his eyes only meeting yours for a moment before he turned to yell at the other two to lower their voices. You nodded with a smile, leaving them to decide and chuckling to yourself as you moved on to ask the customers at the other tables if they were doing ok.

“Ok! Excuse me- er....crap, what was her name again Fushiguro?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

“I don’t know, usually you remember to ask the important stuff like that!”

The not-so-subtle arguing was enough to catch your attention as you made your way back over to the trio, your smile being a bit more genuine this time around in response to their odd yet funny dynamic.

“It’s (Y/N), sorry about that guys! So, what can I get for ya?”

The three of them listed off their orders and after you repeated them back for confirmation, you gave them a quick thumbs up before going back to the kitchen to put their orders in with your dad. Within a moment of your absence, Itadori was turning to Fushiguro with that excited puppy look that adorned his face almost 24/7.

“She’s kind of pretty, don’t you think?”

Fushiguro’s eye twitched, but luckily Kugisaki was quick to butt in with an argument of ‘How come you’re only asking him what he thinks, huh?!’. It was a simple question, but what annoyed him was the added use of ‘kind of’. Itadori was extremely simple, so the thought that he only thought you were ‘kind of’ pretty irritated him because how could Fushiguro be here doing a double take just to get a better look at your features every time you spoke to them while Itadori just barely took note of it? It was uncharacteristic, but he couldn’t disagree. He could tell you definitely had a slight air of putting on a cheery showiness for the sake of good customer service, but either way, you were...cute, and he was insistent on leaving it at that without bothering to admit to it out loud.

“I hope you both know you’re paying for yourselves.” He interrupted, hoping their argument had moved on from their waitress so that he wouldn’t be asked about his thoughts on you again.

“Eh?! Since when were you so cheap!”

“Ok guys!”

The three of them jumped slightly at the sound of your voice, simultaneously turning to see you holding up a tray with three steaming bowls of ramen sat atop of it.

“Soy with beef, soy with pork..” You listed off while setting the bowls in front of the copper haired girl and the smiley boy respectively, “And miso with no topping.” You finished, eyes flicking up to meet the dark haired boys as you placed the final bowl in front of him. It was only for a moment, but you could have sworn your saw a speckle of pink dust his cheeks before he looked away from you with a short “Thanks.”.

“Mhm, no problem.” You hummed out, scanning your eyes around the restaurant to see if you were immediately needed elsewhere before deciding to continue and indulge your interest in the three, or more specifically, your interest in the cute boy with the black hair. “So... you guys are from that traditional religious high school, right?”

The pink haired one’s eyes lit up as he struggled to finish the noodles he was halfway through slurping up so that he could speak.

“Yeah, yeah! I guess our uniforms are a giveaway..”

You laughed, leaning your back against the empty seat that sat next to them at the bar. As if you needed any further confirmation, you could tell he was the energetic extrovert of the group.

“Yeah, you don’t really see many of them around. Though I’ve heard it’s kind of a hard school to get into.”

“Pfft, maybe for normal people, it was no sweat for us.” There was that copper haired girl again with a confident look on her face as she too stopped eating to interject, though you hardly took what she said in a bad way as she didn’t seem to mean any harm from it.

“That so? Guess I’ll have to call you guys next time I’m having trouble with my classes, I swear I can barely manage the workload I get.”

“Haha I feel that, I actually started school elsewhere but I just transferred a few months ago! Oh- I’m Itadori by the way! This is Kugisaki, and Fushiguro’s the sulking rude one!”

“Hey.” Fushiguro finally stopped his eavesdropping to join in, sending a glare Itadori’s way, but he just seemed to brush it off as if he’d been under his friends' scrutiny plenty of times before. After a moment though he turned back to you, though as much as he wanted to say something to you, he didn’t really know what to say. He wasn’t like Itadori or Kugisaki who could just strike up a conversation with anyone anywhere, but while he turned over his conversational options in his head, you pushed away from where you had previously been leaning and gave a sheepish, apologetic smile that easily brought his attention away from his thoughts.

“No no you’re good- Sorry, I should be leavin’ you guys to eat anyway. Just call me over when you’re ready to pay or if you need anything, alright?” You spoke, your words being directed more towards who you now knew as ‘Fushiguro’, however it was his two friends who responded with an affirmation before going back to their meals.

Once again you were off to tend to other tables and do the other tidbits of your job, though this time your head was filled with questions galore. Did Jujutsu Tech students come into town often, or was this some special outing? What grades were the three of them in? And most importantly, you wondered if they would ever be coming back? You weren’t one to get flustered or form crushes easily, but you had to admit you were a bit taken by Fushiguro. He was cute, sure, but he had a cool, mature air about him that could make anyone be left wanting to know more about him, especially because most of the conversation you did have was with his friends and not him. However once again your mental flow was interrupted by Itadori waving you over, barely waiting for you to make your way by their side to start speaking while the three of them handed over their respective payments.

“That was crazy good, (Y/N), we’ll have to come by some time again if that’s ok!”

“It’s not like she’s the one making it, Itadori.”

“You realize that a restaurant’s whole goal is to get people to come back, right? Of course it’s ‘ok’..”

Despite Fushiguro’s matter-of-fact statement, his eyes still shifted to yours as if he secretly wanted to know if you wanted them to come back as well and the smile you gave him in return only solidified the fact that he wanted to return either way. Though of course he boiled that down to ‘The service was good and so was the food’, but part of him knew that was bullshit.

“I’d love to see you guys around again!” You said, collecting up their empty bowls as you spoke. “I work most weekends and some days after class so you should try to stop in while I’m here.”

“Hell yeah!” Itadori exclaimed as the three of them got up from their seats one after the other, Kugisaki and Itadori saying their goodbye’s as they pardoned their way through the tables and other customers to leave, though Fushiguro stayed behind for a moment, a hand rubbing at the back of his neck as he spoke.

“...Sorry about them, it’s practically like wrangling preschoolers whenever we aren’t on du- er, in class.”

He knew the apology wasn’t necessary and that you didn’t seem all that bothered by either of his friends’ lively personalities, but he found himself feeling a bit...left out in the fact that he had yet to really speak to you. Why he even felt compelled to speak to you in the first place was a mystery, but he figured that was one question that didn’t really need an answer for right now.

“Oh, it’s no problem.” You laughed, giving another smile as you tried your hardest to not act as fidgety as you were feeling on the inside. “I mean- I’ve got friends like that too so I-“

“Excuse me?”

A polite voice cut you off halfway through your sentence and you turned to see an older woman waving you over, clearly not wanting to be rude but wanting your attention nevertheless.

“Sorry-“

“You’re fine!” You sputtered out, maybe a bit too excited as you slowly backed away from him, “I’ll see you around if you guys stop by again, huh, Fushiguro?”

His eyes widened slightly, a bit surprised by that hopeful tone to your voice before he nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips and a bit of slightly shameful excitement tugging at his heart.

“Yeah, we’ll- I’ll see you around.”

#im still soft for megumi #can you tell i dont outline or Ever Know Where I'm Going With My Words #haha a.d.d. gang wya #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #megumi fushiguro #megumi fushiguro x reader #also dont ask me when the next part will be #because I Never Know

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noitsbecky127 · 3 years ago

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rebecca watches tos: amok time

I’ve never seen this ep but ik it’s the fuck or die one

chapel is bringing spock soup, give it up chapel, ily but the man is gay

I bet it’s good soup though

oh ok so pon farr just straight up makes vulcans go feral and throw soup at walls

just let him go to vulcan jimothy

oh this intro is a little different! guess they changed it for season 2

“play servant to a man that is not hers” spock it’s the 23rd century she was just trying to do a nice thing for you

man idk if we’ve ever seen spock showing this much emotion in his voice, save for naked time ofc

spock, what are you holding behind your back

oh here’s chekov! I knew he existed in TOS but I wasn’t sure when he was gonna show up

guess you’re gonna miss the inauguration, bc spock’s choices are fuck or die and I don’t think anyone wants the latter

jim do not make him postpone this

ah ok spock took matters into his own hands

man how badly does pon farr fuck you up that spock could have diverted course and then forgotten about it

spock really just went “I’ve arrived in sickbay and now I will leave sickbay ✌️”

“I think I’m going to get spacesick” ok I’ve decided I like chekov

“he’ll DIE, jim” *dramatic music* *closeup on william shatner’s face* *commercial break*

spock: yes i know why i’m dying, no i won’t tell you, we exist

who tf is spock looking at

“consider that an order” I feel like using your authority to get your best friend to explain something personal to you is an abuse of power but what do I know

man how heavily guarded is this if spock’s willing to disobey a direct order in order to not explain it

oh right, biology. the biology of vulcans. the biology specifically belonging to vulcans. vulcan biology. that biology.

god spock’s so embarrassed I just want to reach through the screen and hug him

“the birds and the bees are not vulcans” yeah, it’s a metaphor, spock

jim you can’t tell me you’ve never wondered how vulcans choose their mates, given that you’re obviously in love with one

chekov and sulu have a wonderful dynamic I can already tell

spock ik the federation is a post-scarcity society and all that but that doesn’t mean you can just destroy your computer

chapel don’t just watch him sleep, that’s weird

oh ok he’s fully awake now

spock don’t come on to her

spock you’re gay

oh ok she has a first name

spock’s taking his emotional support humans down to vulcans huh

spock: she is t’pring…my wife jim, who was like 90% certain they’d been flirting for the past six months: beg pardon

did they beam down at sunset or is the vulcan sky just straight-up red

t’pring is so pretty

alright now spock’s gone full feral

“become the property of the victor” christ this is dated

I knew she was gonna pick jim but why’d she do that anyway, she definitely doesn’t want to marry him so what is it

really t’pau? insulting his heritage? fucking rude

I see jingle bells is a way of life for vulcans

ah so jim wants to make a good impression on his (however spock is related to t’pau)-in-law

spock: (holding a big axe) jim: scared_and_horny.gif

jim did not dodge that swing. spock could have sliced him in half. ripping open his shirt and exposing his titties was a deliberate decision. in this essay i will

it really says a lot about how lost in the sauce spock is that he’s attacking jim so viciously, bc he would never do that under normal circumstances

jim. jim your titties. they are bleeding.

this is the most homoerotic fighting I’ve ever seen

obv jim isn’t dead but he sure does look dead

even though ik jim is fine spock is still breaking my heart rn :(

t’pring’s logic certainly does check out

“live long and prosper, spock” “i shall do neither” :,(

spock smiling gives me so much serotonin

bones is a goddamn treasure i swear, where would the enterprise be without him

so rolling in the sand with jim and choking him broke spock out of the blood fever huh, funny how that works

“in a pig’s eye” I love Bones

good episode, always good to see something that sparked many many fanfics, and if I wasn’t already fully down for spirk this ep would probably change my mind

#rebecca watches star trek #rebecca watches tos #star trek #star trek the original series #star trek tos #amok time #star trek liveblog #tos liveblog #star trek tos liveblog #liveblogging

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rint4rous · 4 years ago

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hogwarts au! oikawa

a/n: wrote this with a bad headache LMAO so if you see mistakes no you didnt <3

yeah help

anyway

oikawa toru

sixth year slytherin

captain of slytherin quidditch team

this one. very popular with the girls.

always gets gifts and confessed to, he turns them all down nicely tho

he flirts with them a little but never goes out with anyone

thanks but no thanks, hes focusing on quidditch

mostly hangs out with hanamaki, matsukawa, and iwaizumi

you, sixth year gryffindor

a chaser for the quidditch team

actually you and oikawa had a bit of a rivalry thing going on

because oikawa was getting good grades AND is good at quidditch

and it doesnt even look like hes trying.

and he lowkey comes off as arrogant sometimes

and youre like i hate geniuses

the two of you met during first year when he tried playfully hitting iwa in the hallway but iwa dodged

and you happen to be speedwalking past and then next thing you know you get slapped???

you stop walking and turn to oikawa

hes like HOLY CRAPDFHJSHJR

“I AM SO SORRY-”

“it’s alright!”

“are you sure??”

“yeah, it was an accident, right? …. unless it wasnt?”

“NO I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT”

“i thought so! see you ‘round!”

then you skip away

yeah. yall dont really start competing and shit until you found out your mom and his mom had BEEF??? WHEN THEY WERE IN SCHOOL????

you found that out at the end of first year

“i heard tachibana’s son is in your year. or i guess she’s oikawa now.”

youre like yeah what about it

“my dearest y/n, you’re a smart little girl, okay?”

“so make sure you’re better than that oikawa kid, alright?”

and little innocent you is like “ok”

so start of second year, you study and work extra hard

but here’s perfect little oikawa who always knocks you down to second place

at first youre like. i’ll just work harder!

and he joins quidditch and so do you

so you try hard at that too

you’re not like a sore loser or anything so when slytherin wins you shake his hand with a smile

but by the end of the year you’re just kinda :/ now because you never see him studying or practicing spells so how the fuck is he BETTER THAN YOU AT EVERYTHING!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!

third year you come into school with like not very good feelings abt oikawa

and your mom was on your ass about your grades and you’re like omfggg im TRYING OKAY IM TRYING SO HARD

too bad tho thats when he starts liking you …

middle of third year is when you start expressing those feelings for oikawa out loud

“i hate self-centered geniuses. come back down to earth, will you.”

he heard you say when test results came back

and hes like is she talking abt me? lol nah shes probably talking about stupid ushijima over there

and then he finds out you were in fact talking abt him

hes kinda hurt lol

then when the new term rolls in

and the two of you just start talking shit about each other and start arguing all the time

“what’s the answer, l/n?”

“fairy wings.”

“oh my bad, i didn’t realize she said oikawa, and not l/n.”

“oh sorry, i thought you wouldn’t know the answer so i answered for you! i saved you from embarrassing yourself. you’re welcome~”

your seatmate yaku was holding you down with all his might and HOW IS LITTLE MAN ABLE TO HOLD YOU BACK HIS GRIP IS STRONG BRO

the whole class s ighs here we go AGAIN

the teacher doesnt even bother sending you guys out to hall anymore because this happens so much

you always try to sabotage each other in potions

one time his eyebrows almost burned off after his potion exploded in his face

makki and mattsun like LMFAOWFEHERGUYER

then when the year ends you’re like ranting to your mom like “i hate geniuses. who does he think he is? just because he can beat me at everything?? i’ll show him. i’ll make him eat dirt in the field. i’ll wipe that dumb smirk off his face. i’ll-”

your mom: omg my little baby so full of hate just like her momma

fourth year you’re so determined to beat oikawa at something

he sees you in the library, unprovoked, once and he comes up from behind you like

“aw, is l/n gonna try beating me again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

you: hold it in hold it in hold it in YOU’RE MATURE NOW Y/N L/N. YOU SHOULD BE MORE MATURE THAN THIS DIMWIT IN FRONT OF YOU. inhale exhale inhale exhale

“aw, is oikawa gonna try beating ushiwaka in quidditch again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

way to be mature

poor oikawa tho you pressed a wrong button so he just leaves silently

you kinda regret it after

so this year goes like the last and so does the next

“arent you tired?? of competing with oikawa all the time??” your friend semi asked you

“kind of”

“then stop?? you dont have to fulfill your mom’s high school revenge lmao”

“ughh eita i know but im too far in”

one time you were out breaking curfew #savage

no but seriously you couldn’t sleep so you thought some fresh air will help, the dorms were super suffocating right now

you were stressed after your mom’s monthly letter

beat oikawa this beat oikawa that

you turn at a corner and you see the man himself, ALSO BREAKING CURFEW

now the both of you are looking at each other like 👁👄👁

“GOD L/N I THOUGHT YOU WERE A TEACHER I NEARLY DIED FROM A HEART ATTACK”

“shush before we both get caught”

“right sorry sorry”

“so what the hell are you doing breaking curfew.”

“what are you doing breaking curfew.”

“i asked you first”

“so?”

“just answer the question, oikawa.”

he looks around, making sure the coast was clear before he motions you over to him and as you walk towards him

you see the door hes standing in front of

he drags you in there and what you see is

a bunch of practice dummies

“yeah i,, practice my spells here at night. contrary to popular belief i’m not a genius like ushiwaka or tobio. i’m flattered you think so, though.”

and youre like he... actually practices?? he is actually human?

“what’s with that look? you wanna join me practice at night?”

“as if-” and then you see the book of spells and you guys aren’t even learning any of this YET. and you are determined not to fall behind oikawa “sure.”

oikawas like pardon?

you: i SAID SURE.

and so now at night you practice spells together

only because you want to beat him as if

the arguing goes down a little because you get caught up in beating each other at who gets to do the spell right first that practice runs super late sometimes and you dont have energy to fight with each other that early

everybodys like ??? huh????

but then you’re back to the usual bs in the afternoon and everybodys like oh okay so the world isnt ending yet

so anyway !! yall are practicing again

you’re pointing your wand at a practice dummy and trying to focus so you dont accidentally do something dumb

"hey why do you hate me so much?”

LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OFF GUARD AND BREAKS YOUR FOCUS

“it’s not because i hit you when we were first years right? it really was an accident i swear-”

“you still remember that?”

“well yeah… because i cant think of any other reason why you don’t like me.”

“um… trying too hard to please my mom, i guess. what about you? why did you try so hard to beat me at everything?” you ask, regaining your focus for the charm

“idk, you never paid attention to me unless i did.”

you scoff, “why? you don’t like me or anything, do you?”

“i do tho??”

he literally said that just before you chanted the spell and you got caught off guard and

“stupefy!”

it almost hits oikawa

oikawa: WHAT DID I DO

you: SHITHEAD DONT SAY THAT WHEN IM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHFIBEFH

“HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???”

“I DONT KNOW IT WAS FUN COMPETING WITH YOU WHEN WE WERE SECOND YEARS AND IT JUST DID?? I TRIED SO HARD SO I CAN IMPRESS YOU AND I GUESS MY PLAN BACKFIRED BECAUSE I DONT THINK YOU LIKE ME VERY MUCH”

now youre staring at each other and you’re both red

he kinda quiets down “and you’re a better rival than ushijima anyway. i don’t mean any of the stuff i said, i swear. i know you don’t like me but i just needed to let that out or i will go insane.”

and hes just looking down all shy

at this point you actually dont know if you like oikawa or not

i mean??? you spent like 3 years butting heads with this dude

and he liked you the whole time?? hes crazy this man is crazy.

maybe you were just in denial the whole time

because?? you could’ve stopped competing with him at everything

maybe you did enjoy it somehow

he did make your life at school interesting

“let’s go out on a few dates and we’ll see.”

his head just whips up and his eyes like light up and hes so EXCITED

in the time before you officially started dating

you find out from iwaizumi that even tho he smiles at a lot of girls its actually rarely genuine the only girl hes ever seen oikawa smile about genuinely was you

and that his mom actually didnt approve of him playing quidditch at first because he had a bad knee but he pushed for it because he really wanted to

he has like a smug and a flippant demeanor but hes very attentive and super caring !!

hes super passionate and hard working at what he does and

i guess now you finally realize you are falling

it takes five dates until the two of you officially start going out

if you tell third year you that you were dating oikawa she would never believe it but here you are, walking to class with him

when the two of you walked in the classroom talking

like TALKING NORMALLY AND NOT THE USUAL “i will choke you in your sleep” “ooh, kinda k-” “don’t”

it was already sus when the arguing toned down a bit but now that its like. REALLY GONE?? everybody is so confused

LMFAO matsukawa asks like “what happened?? are you guys broken?”

“no???”

“how rude! dearest y/n and i are dating now!”

everybody in this class: see now thats crazy. that is crazy.

makki: maybe we didnt hear him right. say that again oikawa

oikawa: me and y/n are dating.

everybody: oh okay bc we thought you said you and l/n were dat- WAIT SO YOU AND L/N REALLY ARE TOGETHER???

you: unfortunately

oikawa: h-hey :((((

everybody: SO WE DONT GOTTA LISTEN TO YALL ARGUE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING??? YOU HAVE TO TREAT THE WHOLE CLASS TO BUTTERBEER I THINK WE DESERVE IT AFTER THESE THREE YEARS OF CONSTANT YELLING

nobody was as SHOCKED as your moms

“y/n, baby, i know i did not just hear you say you’re dating the oikawa kid. repeat that for momma again.”

“i’m dating the oikawa kid.”

like?? MOM THIS WAS TECHNICALLY UR FAULT

“so toru, what did you wanna tell me?”

“i have a girlfriend now! her name is y/n l/n.”

“l/n? surely not THAT l/n’s daughter, right?”

“oh it is that l/n.”

when your families have dinner together for the first time

THE TENSION LMFAO

but they do try hard to get along. they try super hard.

they start getting along because MAN YOU AND OIKAWA WERE SOO CUTE AND THEY WANT YOU TO GET MARRIED AND THEY HAVE TO GET ALONG IF THEY WANT IT TO HAPPEN. THEIR GRANDKIDS ARE GONNA BE SO CUTE!!!

“ma, we haven’t graduated yet-”

your mom, ignoring you: THEYRE GOING TO HAVE THE CUTEST HAIR

oikawa’s mom: AND THEY’RE GOING TO BE SUPER SMART LIKE THEIR PARENTS!

your mom: AND WE’LL BE THE BEST GRANDMAS.

momma oiks: PERIOD!

steals your books from you in the halls so he can carry it for you

you tease each other with pet names and shit???

he’ll try to kiss your cheek in the hall but iwa grabs the back of his robe and pulls him away “you’re gross”

“you’re just jealous iwa!!”

when your houses arent playing each other, he goes to your games and vice versa!

tries to distract you in the field

“hey beautiful”

“toru don’t or i will make iwa knock you off your broom.”

“you're so mean”

so anyways yall r couple goals

"listen well, kindaichi, kunimi, your senior is showing you how to get girls.”

kunimi, without looking up from his book: what are you gonna teach us? accidentally slap the girl and get her to hate you for three years while you secretly pine over her during that time before confessing that you liked her the whole time and you go out on five dates and officially start dating? too much work

oikawa: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

#oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa imagine #oikawa x y/n #hq fluff #oikawa au #oikawa scenarios #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #oikawa x reader au #oikawa tooru x reader

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everybodyscupoftea · 4 years ago

Text

keeping a secret

pike jj x reader (ft. cody and tyler)

family secret santa in which the boys can’t keep a secret

this made my heart soft btw so y’all are going to melt

(warnings: cursing, light editing)

Secret Santa never worked the way it was supposed to. The four of you drew names the weekend after Thanksgiving, and when you got together to exchange gifts, you had pretty much figured out who had who.

“There’s a forfeit this year,” you interrupted their excited chatter, clutching Cody’s name in your hand, “if I find out who everyone has before we open gifts because of y’all’s dumbasses, you all have to buy me a gift.”

Tyler scoffed, “How is it our fault, maybe you’re just nosy.”

You raised your eyebrows, “So last year you didn’t borrow my chapstick and accidentally slide your slip of paper back into my pocket with the chapstick? And then JJ didn’t literally try and buy my gift while I was in the same room?”

Cody snorted, “She may have a point.”

“Yeah, I have a point. Y’all are sucking the fun out of it, so please, keep it a secret for fuck’s sake.”

“Mhmm, sure. Um, J, what were you wanting for Christmas this year?” Cody asked, grinning at you.

“I’m going to kill you,” you threatened, flipping him off, before pulling your phone out, “everyone send what they want in the group chat.”

You watched Cody’s message roll in and had to hold back a scoff at a date please.

“Cody, you’re being difficult,” Tyler complained.

“Fine,” he huffed and sent something else.

Idk kitchen shit i guess

Now that you could work with.

“You know,” JJ mused from where he was lying on your bed, “I think that you have me.”

“Pardon?” you asked.

“What’d you get me for Christmas, I know you have me for Secret Santa.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “I’m not going to ask how you came to that conclusion, but I want to make it absolutely clear that if you try and ruin Secret Santa again, I will kill you.”

“You won’t,” he answered, confidently, “but I know because Tyler obviously has Cody after the text thing. And I have-” you lunged across the bed to clap your hand over his mouth.

“Maybank, I thought I was clear.”

He smirked and licked your palm until you jerked your hand back, JJ answered, innocent tone of voice, “I was just going to say that I have someone other than myself.”

“Sure you were.”

As you moved to stand, he frowned, grabbing your wrist, “I promise I’ll drop it. Can we study?”

“That’s what you’re here for.”

Wanna go to the mall this afternoon

Came onto your phone in the middle of your class, and you sighed, reminding yourself to respond to Tyler once the lesson was finished. Your professor let the class out early, and you responded, walking toward your apartment.

Yeah sure. What time?

Now. I’ll pick you up at your apartment

Okay I’m not quite there yet

I know. I’m sitting outside

You snorted, not even remotely surprised. He was parked right outside your building, looking down at his phone, and you ducked, sneaking around the front of his truck before popping up and tapping on the driver’s window.

He jumped high enough that his head slammed into the roof and screamed so loud and high pitched that even you flinched. Tyler grabbed his chest and glared at you, flipping you off.

Laughing, you ran around the truck and climbed into the passenger seat and asked, “What’s up, creep?”

“Nothing much, asshole.”

“To the mall?” you said, buckling up.

“Yeah, gotta get my Secret Santa gift.” You gave him a look, and he glanced over at you at a red light, “What?”

“Ty, baby, please tell me you’re not bringing me to spoil Secret Santa.”

“I’m,” he paused, “not?”

“Uh huh. Well, I hope you’re buying one for me too, that’s the deal.”

“How do you know I’m not getting one for you in the first place.”

“Tyler,” you warned, “I swear to god.”

“Darling,” he answered, “I’m not religious.”

You groaned, “I’m going to kill you before your driving does.”

“I need help,” Cody told you, sitting down with a dramatic frown.

“With what?” you tossed your notebook aside to give him your full attention.

He smiled sheepishly, “Can you wrap my gift for me?”

“What?”

“I know you’re joking. Did the three of you plan this? You’ve all done this.”

“Done what?”

“Tried to ruin it for me.”

“Nope, it’s honestly coincidental and absolutely hilarious.”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m not helping you.”

“Fine,” he pouted, “I guess that my person will be very disappointed, don’t want to upset-” and before he could answer, you kicked out and hit his thigh hard.

“Cody, you’re going to make me do something drastic.”

He smirked, “Oh yeah, like what?”

“I’m going to spoil it for you. I know how much you love Christmas.”

Cody looked conflicted, “Damn, you’ve kinda got me there.”

“Wrap your own damn gifts.”

You showed up to the frat house in your pajamas, ready to exchange gifts. Cody was in the kitchen, finishing up some snacks for the group, and you leaned against the counter, “Good afternoon, sir.”

“Good afternoon, ma’am.”

“Excited for today?”

He beamed, “Of course.”

Tyler stumbled into the kitchen rubbing sleep out of his eyes, and you gaped at him, “Bro, it’s 2 p.m.”

He yawned, scratching his stomach, “I’m catching up on sleep.”

“From what?”

“Life, bro. It’s exhausting being alive.”

Which, fucking true. You held your fist out for him to bump, “Feel that.”

“Nap later,” he suggested and you nodded.

JJ came down the stairs next and tilted your chin up to kiss you hello, tapping his fingers on your jaw a few times before pulling back.

Tyler made a gagging noise and reached for a mug of coffee Cody poured. JJ rolled his eyes, “Don’t be bitter.”

“Can we just open gifts?” Tyler whined.

You laughed and nodded, “Yes, let’s take a seat, shall we?”

Cody looked at you warily, “Why the tone?”

“Tone?” you asked, faking innocence.

JJ side eyed you, “You know?”

“I know.”

Tyler groaned, “Literally how? Who blabbed?”

“Cody did. He drunk texted me asking what JJ wanted.”

He smiled sheepishly, “I have zero recollection.”

“Okay but how did you figure out the rest?” Tyler interrupted.

“You have me, we didn’t buy anything at the mall that time we went, but you followed me around all afternoon, trying to figure out what I was interested in.” Tyler narrowed his eyes, “That obvious, huh?”

“It was. Which means JJ has you because I have Cody.”

Pushing himself back, JJ laughed, “Got it in one.”

You crossed your arms, “So I will be accepting gifts from JJ and Cody in the near future, thanks.”

Cody sighed, “We figured you’d find out, so we actually already ordered them, just not in yet.”

“Oh my god,” Tyler muttered, “y’all are awful.”

“Hey,” Cody pointed at him accusatory, “just because you weren’t at fault doesn’t mean you get to take a moral high ground, you’re the one who ruined it last year.”

“Yeah,” JJ added on, “I’m the only one who gets to take it.”

“You ruined it the first year,” you reminded him, “well, Brooke did I guess. She texted me asking why the fuck you were spending more money on my gift than hers.”

Tyler choked on his coffee, “What?!”

JJ’s jaw dropped, and you suddenly realized you’d never told any of them about it. They all stared at you, waiting for a response, “Yeah, she was mad I guess.”

“Jesus Christ,” JJ muttered.

Cody laughed, “God she was the fucking worst. That’s why your gift was cheap sweetheart.”

After a few more seconds of laughter, JJ finally interrupted, “Okay, we should actually exchange gifts.”

“Right, so, I had Cody,” you started, passing over your gift.

He tore into it and pulled out the apron that said plant mom in a script font with plants scattered randomly all over the front. He snorted, “This is fucking fantastic.

“Thank you,” you beamed, “but there’s actually more, so don’t get stuck on the apron.”

Cody pulled out a set of hockey tickets, two for the upcoming Hurricanes Leafs matchup and gasped, “Dude, oh my god, I’m going to kiss you right now.”

Laughing, you puckered your lips, “Any time, baby.”

JJ chuckled, “Mr. Steal My Girl, huh?”

“Maybank, she’d leave you in a fucking heartbeat for a Leafs player, we both know that. I’m not quite as great, but I’m close,” Cody fired back, softening it by sliding his gift for JJ across the table.

Picking it up, JJ shook it a few times before digging through the bag. He made a weird face and pulled out a pair of boxers. His jaw dropped and Cody was very clearly holding in laughter.

“What is it?” Tyler asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Wordlessly, he held them up and flipped them around so everyone could see daddy issues written across the ass in pink writing.

You and Tyler busted out laughing as Cody sat, arms crossed looking smug. JJ was clearly unsure how to feel, close to laughing, until Cody took pity, “Don’t worry, bro, there’s more in the bag.”

Sure enough, JJ pulled out a new wallet, one he’d been eyeing for months but hadn’t pulled the trigger on because it was a bit out of budget. Smiling softly at Cody, he told him, “Thanks bro, love you.”

“Love you too, J.”

“No sappy hours early,” Tyler interrupted, “give me my gift.”

“It’s 2 p.m.,” JJ muttered but passed the box over to Tyler anyway.

He tore into it and JJ jolted forward, “Dude, it’s breakable, chill.”

Inside was a nice tea set and a box of fancy teas. Tyler blinked a few times, in awe of the contents, “Woah.”

“I know you like tea more than coffee, and we never have any here, so I figured I’d set you up.”

“I-” Tyler cut himself off, “wow, this is really thoughtful. Thanks buddy.”

“Anytime. I’ll tell you where I ordered them too so if you like one you can order more. I kinda just got a starter pack.”

“Yeah, that would be sick.”

JJ squeezed his shoulder and Tyler cleared his throat, passing a small bag across the table. You picked it up, curious, and pulled the tissue paper out. After looking, you let out a loud laugh, “Great minds, huh?”

“Great minds,” Tyler nodded, folding his hands.

“What is it?” JJ asked, leaning over.

“Leafs tickets. Two of them.”

“Well,” Cody said, “guess we can all go now. Sitting in different places, but we can make a trip of it.”

Tyler lit up, “I didn’t even think about that!”

“Boys night,” Cody cheered.

“Fuck yes,” you agreed, clutching the tickets to your chest.

“Oh,” Tyler leaned forward, “there’s something else, but it’s in my room, be right back.”

He disappeared up the stairs, and JJ stood to grab his wallet to start switching everything over. Cody looked pleased, and Tyler came running back down a few seconds later with a box in his hand.

“This too,” he huffed out, collapsing back into the chair.

“You’re going to break that one day,” you warned him, tearing into the wrapping paper. Inside was the pair of running shoes you’d talked about the day you went to the mall with him and you smiled, ��Thanks, bud.”

“Mall trip successful,” he responded, taking the last sip of his coffee before standing again, “who wants tea?”

“Me,” you answered, standing with him while Cody started pulling out plates for the snacks he’d made.

In the loudness of everyone talking over each other, you just had to smile. Sure it was chaotic, but it was your family, and you loved them all dearly.

“Oh,” you remembered, “Cody and JJ I expect my gifts on Christmas Eve, thanks.”

Cody groaned and JJ squeezed his shoulder, “You have no one to blame but yourself.”

for day nine of @obxmermaid‘s holiday challenge: secret santa

#pike!jj #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fic #outer banks #outer banks fic #cody and tyler #obxmermaidholiday #frat!jj

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