#how we live now

[denimbex1986]

'There are certain kinds of films that really impact me emotionally. One genre is what I will call “Saddest Film I Ever Saw”, and weirdly the Brits seem to have almost cornered the market on this one.

If asked, I usually say the very saddest film I have ever seen is “Never Let Me Go”, the heart-rending British Sci Fi classic based on Nobel-prize winner Kazuo Ishiguro’s novel. Oh, and if that didn’t make you cry, with its trio of Oscar winners and nominees — Andrew Garfield, Carey Mulligan and Keira Knightly — trying to love and live before they are forced to sever their limbs (yep), then the Merchant-Ivory production of Ishiguro’s “The Remains of the Day” has to.

Or your tear ducts have straight up dried up.

And, also from the UK, Saorise Ronan in the insanely sad Dystopian Sci Fi film, “How We Live Now”. Oh.my.garsh. There’s a new one: a distinctly British tale of late love, “All of Us Strangers”.

Gay Love and Heartbreak: Who Knew?

I have read a lot of reviews of this film, and, well, it had a nearly perfect IMDB Critics and Users score. I recently had a debate with some other people who are quite knowledgeable about film, about whether IMDB scores even matter. They eschew IMDB and use Letterbox���d — all the cool kids do, apparently (LOL).

Trust me, IMDB scores matter. Nearly every film I have ever seen that has had an IMDB score higher than 6.5 has been Good, and ones with a 6.8–7.1 score (they hardly ever (ever) go higher than that) are usually amazing.

What critics have keyed on is not that this is a beautiful tale of Gay love, of growing up Gay during the AIDS era and having parents who, in the words of The Fresh Prince, “just don’t understand” (or do they?), and then get killed in a car crash. Although all of that is present. Critics have keyed on the fact that “All of Us Strangers” is a timeless story of love and loss. Period. It could be any pair of people: old, young, gay, straight. It doesn’t matter, because Haigh’s and co-writer Taichi Yamada’s script and direction deliver the goods.

The Progress We Have Made

This film probably could not have been made, or been as successful even ten years ago. But today, when despite the forces of Evil arrayed against LGBTQ+ people all over the world, and especially in the US, Haigh presents us with an achingly beautiful love story between two people, who happen to be Gay Men. And it shows us, sans any prurience, gorgeous scenes of Gay Lovemaking that are the farthest thing from pornographic or even lurid.

And he does this by asking more narrative questions than he ever answers. Which I, personally, love.

Andrew Scott plays Adam, a screen-writer (how Meta) living in a nearly empty apartment building somewhere in London, at some point in time (the recent past? the near future?), who by a simple twist of fate ends up in the arms of Harry, played by Paul Mescal. I have loved Scott ever since his turn as a sexually active Anglican Priest in Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s amazing TV series “Fleabag”, and also love Mescal for, among other things, the critically lauded “Aftersun”.

A Queer Ghost Story?

What makes the narrative so fascinating is that, in parallel with this surprising tale of new love, Adam decides to return to his home town and finds his Mother and Father still living in the house in which he grew up, and still the same age they were thirty years ago right before they died in a car crash.

Why and how this impossible thing is happening provides much of the narrative force for “All of Us Strangers”, and Haigh inter-weaves the yearning love of Adam and Harry with Adam’s need to talk to his parents. You see, he needs to know if they knew he was Gay when he was in school (they did) and whether his Mum approves of the fact he likes Men, not Women (She does).

If you are fully willing to “suspend disbelief” (as Poet Coleridge famously said) then you are all in, and the only important thing is to see how Adam’s dialogues with his Mum (played by the excellent Claire Foy) and his Da (played by the under-rated Jamie Bell) will give them, and him some Peace.

It Gets Weird, then it Gets…

And why do they need that? Because, and this not a spoiler, they are all probably Dead. Jamie Ramsay’s gorgeous, yet unintrusive, Cinematography establishes a dream-like visual language in which we simply follow along both the Love Story and the Ghost Story, and really don’t want it to end.

But, alas, the story needs to go somewhere, and in the third reel Adam comes back to the Apartment Building to find Harry dead in Harry’s apartment. Again, not a spoiler, as it is never clear if any of the few characters in the film are actually alive in the first place.

As they lie together on his Bed, the shot of the two of them starts to shrink against a white background, eventually collapsing like a Neutron Star. Queue tears — bawling, really.

Question posed? Yes. Answered? Brilliantly, no.'

[i-am-still-bb]

How We Live Now - Update

I’m reading through what I’ve written so far and am probably going to nix or heavily rewrite everything from Part CXIX forward. That’s everything from immediately prior to Fili’s homecoming through to the most recent part posted. I’m not satisfied with how I wrote the story from that point onward. 

That being said. Those chapters will remain available. On Tumblr I will simply add a link to a post with the the full story line with links to each part (once the story is complete) and add “Deleted Scene / Alternative Ending” to the titles of the deleted parts. On Ao3 the deleted parts will be moved to a separate document within the series. Comments and feedback on those chapters will be lost when I do that, but I do want to keep those parts available and still have the main story be easily followed within the main story document. 

Watch this space for updates. They might come as early as this weekend. 

[i-am-still-bb]

Probably.

My top fic by hits is How We Live Now.

I have others that I think are more innovative or fun in terms of style, but I do think that HWLN deserves that spot.

Fic writers!!!

Please reblog for sample size!

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[apollos-olives]

before october 7th this blog was a meme page btw.

[aashiqeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[astearisms]

fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started

[foolsocracy]

he should've been at the club

[qqueenofhades]

oh god is biden dropping out? i don't know what happens then

Jesus effing Christ.

Few thoughts:

The billionaire Democratic donors got their way, apparently. All I saw was that the big-dollar donors were secretly putting pressure on the rank-and-file Democratic elected officials (i.e. House and Senate) to denounce Biden or not get any more money, and other shameful backroom maneuvering to knife Biden. I will refrain (lol, no I won't) from speculating that billionaires of any political stripe feel threatened by Biden's increasingly progressive tax/wealth redistribution policies, and saw their chance after the bad debate performance to knife him. Because until further notice, I'm going to think that was the biggest factor.

I don't know if there's an actual health condition that made Biden agree it was the best time (in fucking July) to step down, but if this was an issue, there needed to be planning last year, at the earliest, to prepare for a new successor. I don't know what's going on. This is a clusterfuck on many, many levels.

However: it is true that this does change things and not necessarily only for the worse, as long as Harris is immediately confirmed as the new nominee and this stupid Democrats In Disarray nonsense, which is giving the media exactly what they want, is put to a fucking end. If Harris is also swept aside and the billionaire donors try to install their preferred "Centrist!!!" candidate (lol Manchin or some shit) with an equally antidemocratic closed-door Star Chamber convention, then yes, we're fucked. Because the Congressional Black Caucus and African American voters saw exactly what the rich white man billionaires were trying to do by torching Biden and then Harris, and they are not going to play ball with some Magical White Man replacement.

If Harris is immediately confirmed as the new nominee (and to the best of my knowledge Biden has endorsed her), then she has a chance of reinvigorating the race. There were a lot of Americans who did not want either Biden or Trump. I suspect they were fucking braindead, but so be it. Harris has apparently polled pretty and increasingly well in recent days (in some cases actually better than Biden) and again, there is no remotely small-d democratic alternative to her. The billionaire donors already trashed the duly elected (by the primary process) Democratic nominee. If they do the same to Harris, then yes. We will have Trump and there won't be any more democracy in this country on either side, because the Republican big-bucks donors will gleefully pick up where the Democratic big-bucks donors left off.

Jesus fucking Christ.

The message needs to be "Harris is Joe's successor, she is younger and already has four years of experience and is the only candidate." Anything else is a fucking gift from god to the Republicans, once more getting trashed after Trump's terrible RNC speech. Maybe she can then pick Whitmer or Shapiro (both popular and effective Democratic governors of swing states, MI and PA respectively) as a running mate, but the nominee has to be Kamala. There is no other fucking choice. This is already enough of a mess.

If that can happen, and the fucking donors can refrain from fucking it up, then... okay. It's not great, but it does change things. It makes the ticket younger. It makes it historic (first Black female president beating Trump would be amazing). It could reach people disenchanted with the current two-old-white-guys setup.

This is an incredible sacrifice on Biden's part and I only wish that I could believe he did it voluntarily, rather than being forced out by a small class of rich people worrying about his policies getting too progressive.

I wish him only the best and I recognize this decision was taken under extreme pressure. If we then lose to Trump, I hope everyone who forced Biden out burns in hell.

I was a diehard Biden supporter not because I loved the guy personally, but because he was the only choice for preserving democracy in America. The essential stakes of the election have not changed, even if the billionaires just knifed us in the fucking back, possibly to nobody's surprise, because R or D, they are not our friends.

Kamala is the only choice. I will now have to defend her as hard as I did for Biden. She needs to beat Trump. There is nothing else to it. If you think she can't, then you need to work at helping her do that. There is already enough calamity and doom. We do not have a choice. We cannot lose sight of what is at stake here.

Kamala Harris/Whitmer and/or Shapiro and/or Buttigieg 2024.

The end.

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[i-am-still-bb]

Day 2: kissing OR banter

Fili/Kili, T How We Live Now - Tumblr / Ao3

Ao3

--

Before that summer Kili hadn’t really given much thought to how kisses could be different. There was just kissing, right?

There had been kisses before. But it always felt awkward. What are earth were you supposed to do with your hands? Close your eyes? Keep them open? And teeth—where were they supposed to go?

Then there was that kiss with Fili on the wall beneath the stars after the bombs fell. And none of those questions mattered anymore.

There were the tentative, questioning first kisses. Uncertain, fumbling, slow.

Then those that came with experience and knowledge. Hesitation was now teasing, intentional, because Kili knew that Fili would reach for him and drag him down.

There were comforting kisses in the dark when the world seemed to close in and worries seemed much more real under the press of darkness.

Playful ones under the sun.

Kisses that were cool and wet after a swim.

Slow. Because they had nothing but time.

Kisses that tasted of desire and burned with an urgency that bowled them over. Ones where they protested the parting only to press closer.

There was that first kiss of the after. Tense with uncertainty and nerves and a knowing that they had each changed, a fear that it would not be the same as before—before the war, before death, before fear and scars.

And they were right; it was not the same.

They had both been changed by what they had seen, what they had done, and what they had endured.

But, in the most important ways, it was the same.

They just had to relearn what they thought had been tattooed under their skin, knowledge that they thought would stay with them forever.

In time it would be even better than the before.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[persona-brainrot-real]

Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)

Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.

And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.

Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.

[dreamaboutwhathappens]

also insane to think that 10.1 million people attended with TICKETS but there were thousands of people outside each stadium every night, and countless more watching streams online all over the WORLD. like, the true number of people who attended the eras tour over the past two years is far beyond what we’re imagining rn. and i’m just so proud of her and amazed at this success and grateful to have been a part of it :,)

[fungi-maestro]

Happy tdov to fat trans people. 🏳️‍⚧️ Biggest thing that helped me as a trans kid was seeing older fat trans people. There were a lot of really irritating "advice" posts going around early in my time on the internet with a lot of misinformation in them, but one that I constantly saw (in addition to people claiming you should wear your pants rediculously low or only wear button ups) were posts saying you had to lose weight to transition. Can confidently confirm that is completely untrue. 👍