#how to set boundaries

[wisterianwoman]

Self-Care is Not Selfish: The Recovering People Pleaser's Dilemma

Is it selfish to put yourself first? If you're used to being walked all over, you might think so. Let's talk about when to help, and when to set boundaries instead.

Finally, a nuanced answer to the question: is self-care selfish? This article discusses the importance of self-care as a gateway to giving, explore our responsibilities to our families and communities, and equips the reader with practical strategies for harmonizing these seemingly divergent priorities. “Yes” Woman As a recovering people pleaser, I used to live my life in service of others. My…

[diary-of-an-artist]

Trust your gut feeling when it‘s telling you you‘re not ready for something. There‘s a difference between being scared of doing something and knowing deep down that you‘re not up for it. Simply because it doesn’t align with your soul. Yes, you should get out of your comfort zone and explore every now and then. But when your gut feeling is telling you that it‘s just not for you, don‘t trick yourself into thinking it‘s something you gotta do to „get out of your comfort zone“. People outside of you will tell you their opinions but make sure you take them with a pinch of salt. Know your values and the path you want to take on and you are the only person who has a right to meddle in that business. No one else. Often times we let other people cloud our judgment and make us doubt our own values. „You should do this; at your age you need to do this; aren’t you just scared of trying something new?“ But stop yourself to ask „is this really what I wanted? Or am I just doing it for them?“ It always starts with small steps in the wrong direction and then suddenly you‘re on a completely different path.

[li-nox]

person a: “Say, is it okay if I stop by tomorrow after work for your birthday?”

[me, internally]: Uh, no. I want peace and quiet.

[calltoamentor]

Speak Your Needs or Yield Your Peace

Speak YourWalking away is scary, but setting boundaries and owning our truth can be scarier. How to know when to walk away can be one of the most challenging aspects of finding our people--almost as hard as knowing when to stay.

Daily writing promptIn what ways do you communicate online?View all responses Have you ever been so terrified of conflict or letting someone down, or “hurting them with your damage” that you fled clear in the opposite direction at the first sign of disagreement? Ever tell yourself you are unworthy or incapable of a life that aligns with who you are because of how thoroughly your past defines you…

[kurtbennett]

Boundaries, Friends, and Acts 22:22-29 (One big important amazingly helpful thing both Paul and Jesus did to help themselves set healthy boundaries)

God Running is a place for anyone who wants to (or even anyone who wants to want to) love Jesus more deeply, follow Jesus more closely, and love people the way Jesus wants us to. Continue reading Boundaries, Friends, and Acts 22:22-29 (One big important amazingly helpful thing both Paul and Jesus did to help themselves set healthy boundaries)

[blossoms-phan]

dan is so fake he’s always like “this is your chance to ask us important, hard hitting, deep philosophical questions” someone asks how do you feel having an entire generation look up to you and he’s like physically? yeah haha we’re so tall 🤪

[edorazzi]

Page 30 of my Miraculous Mentor AU comic A Matter of Trust! In which Bri decides to reach out to the two weirdest guys in her life (and I get to adapt my all-time favourite PV scene)! ❄️❤️

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Weekly updates each Sunday! You can also read ahead early on Patreon, and/or buy me a Ko-fi if you'd like to support my work! 💖

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

How to say no

Positively DBT - BDD, Autism, ADHD Peer Support

[roses-are-repulsed]

You are not broken for being repulsed. Nothing is wrong with you. You don't need to be fixed. Do not hurt yourself by purposely going past your limit to trigger your repulsion - that's not how exposure therapy works nor is it supposed to cause harm to yourself.

Do not make yourself physically ill trying to be "normal" you deserve better. You deserve kindness. Grant yourself that kindness.

[etherealacademia]

going to high school was harder than my entire undergraduate degree at a top university. i'm starting my master's degree in a month and i bet I'll be able to say that high school was more difficult. i don't know how i survived that environment

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

good night and sweet dreams to the best, sexiest, sluttiest, smartest, realest, most based, valid, relatable, girlipop, sympathetic, cunt, fun, cool, feminist, aspirational girlboss character in dead boy detectives: doll spider <3

good night to her and no one else. i hope the rest of y’all have a bad night and terrible dreams.

[whetstonefires]

You know I'm realizing one reason you keep seeing mdzs modern AUs where the Jiang parents are alive mainly so they can dramatically fail and betray Wei Wuxian by cutting him off financially--defaulting on his college tuition or formally disowning him etc--isn't just that people want to translate the Burial Mounds II arc into modern terms while keeping Jiang Cheng clean of it.

(Despite the fact that the internal logic of Jiang Cheng's character is largely built around him being a person who would abandon someone he intensely cared about under these specific circumstances.)

It's because it's hard to set up a modern analogue for the way that Jiang Cheng is responsible for Wei Wuxian, as his Sect Leader.

We live in a highly individualistic society. People are trying to write Wei Wuxian Tragically Wronged, and because there's a normative expectation that people in the position of parents will provide you with resources, and certainly won't withdraw them without warning, but no such assumption that people in the position of siblings necessarily owe each other support, making this work in modern setting with Jiang Cheng in his canon role would require a lot of extra work, just to get a less readily resonant result.

But I keep thinking about it. Because something that's getting lost here is, not just the nuances of character and relationship, but like...it's sort of key to the story that cutting Wei Wuxian off was, in fact, Completely Socially Appropriate.

The level on which it was a betrayal is subtle, and deeply cutting. And intensely tied up in the very different opinions each of Jiang Cheng's parents had about what obligations existed in their family wrt Wei Wuxian, and what these meant.

The level on which it was the obvious, normal course of action is blatant. That is to a huge extent why it happens: because Jiang Cheng's instinct to conform is a survival instinct, reinforced by trauma, and Wei Wuxian's choices meant he had no coherently compelling reason not to obey it, and enormous peer pressure to do so.

The fact is that Jiang Cheng was making a reasonable choice, the actual thing 'anyone would do in that situation,' unlike Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao's respective wildly warped ideas about what that is.

Wei Wuxian wasn't betrayed by Jiang Sect like your foster parents cutting you off because you're disobedient. Wei Wuxian was betrayed by Jiang Sect like your brother refusing to drop fifty grand to bail you out of jail.

Of course Wei Wuxian tells him not to. And of course the fact that Jiang Cheng already chose in the moment not to pay a cent because Fuck You Wei Ying still stands there glaring, a precedent that can never be taken back.

And then later he's betrayed by Jiang Cheng like your brother cooperating with a police investigation into a manslaughter you really did commit, that's being handled like domestic terrorism. And then like your brother calling the cops on you. And then like your brother helping the cops find where you're hiding.

I'm personally fascinated by the way Jiang Cheng's lifelong resentment for the way Jiang Fengmian reliably bailed Wei Wuxian out of everything informed those decisions to do the normal thing, the way he's reacting against his dead father as well as against Wei Wuxian and the actual situation.

But even without that daddy issues angle, the fact that the person who made that choice was Jiang Cheng, and that it was simultaneously the reasonable appropriate normal upstanding citizen rational thing to do and so shitty Wei Wuxian would be entitled never to forgive it is sort of. The Point.

Of the scenario, and also to a considerable degree of the entire finely tuned narrative construct that is Jiang Cheng.

[calltoamentor]

Acts of Service and Community Care

Is it being called to serve or a trauma response? For a lot of people in the personal development space, it's both. It's seeing that what we experienced doesn't harm others in the same way. But good intentions can lead to self-sabotaging results.

Daily writing promptHow are you creative?View all responses *2024 Caitilin popping in to say this is a throwback post. I will be adding updates and details that have happened since the post.“I’m only trying to help.”“Other people need me.”“Community care is self-care.”We have all had these thoughts at some point. Especially in the case of those breaking generational cycles and looking to make a…

[kurtbennett]

How to Avoid Becoming a Christian Doormat--Acts 20:3-4

God Running is a place for anyone who wants to (or even anyone who wants to want to) love Jesus more deeply, follow Jesus more closely, and love people the way Jesus wants us to. Continue reading How to Avoid Becoming a Christian Doormat–Acts 20:3-4

[bittsandpieces]

You arrogant stuck up bitch! You don't need to give me any time to update my bio. You can block me now! ffs smh 😡

posting this one so that everyone else can block you too

[bitchthefuck1]

Still thinking about this by the way