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jodilin65 · 2 years ago

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TUESDAY, AUGUST 30, 2022 I’m kicked back in bed and enjoying my new homemade pillow. I decided that rather than cut chunks of memory foam I would just take two layers in the shape of my head pillow and make a pillow out of that, and then one layer for the body pillow. I started with two layers for the body pillow but that was too thick. The two layers of memory foam I have shoved inside a (head) pillowcase help keep me comfortable in any position. If I enjoy sleeping on it, I’ll get a pillow cover for it. It definitely seems pretty comfortable so far. My feather pillowcase was too high for laying on my stomach and the cotton one wasn’t good for my side. Tom helped me put them together today.

His back is better and tomorrow he has a doctor’s appointment to get his blood pressure meds refilled. Of course he’ll be gone when I’m sleeping. Fortunately, he won’t have to see the doctor with shitty reviews because he’s out with an injury. I guess he’ll be seeing the assistant instead. He’ll have to go to the lab as well.

My metabolism is showing signs of speeding up even more and I’m still worried that getting my numbers normal is going to make me anxious. If I could get to October without any noticeable anxiety I would begin to feel a faint shimmer of hope. If I could make it to the new year I would feel moderately hopeful. If I could make it to April I would go absolutely ballistic with joy! A week from now will make 5 months since I’ve had any significant anxiety. I just had a couple of days where I was on edge a month or two ago. I still find it hard to believe it won’t return to haunt me sooner or later. It always does. I have had a few spells in the past where I was able to go months without anxiety over the last 8 years since this shit began. We’ll just have to wait and see. I don’t want to get too hopeful and think this is it, I finally slayed the dragon.

I was able to peel off what was left of my gel nails today. I’m totally amazed by how long they lasted! Not a single chip. Just some regrowth visible. They were worth every penny. My toenail polish still looks good too. Just a slight chip on one of the big toes.

My fingernails still don’t look healthy but I think they’re a little better. Well, all except for one. It split down the middle. I have a Band-Aid over it so I don’t snag it. I’m still leaning toward thinking it was the powder dip remover that damaged the nails and not the return of the fungus. They’re very dried out and rough to the touch. I’ll definitely give them a break for a while.

I got up just in time today. Right after I got up the mowers came and then we had a thunderstorm.

I guess I’m liked by everyone here after all because both Steve and Jim “liked” the picture I shared of the diamond suncatchers. LOL

I didn’t hear Happy yesterday or the day before, but I heard about 15 barks today. As loud as it is, I’m getting more OK with it now that I’ve gotten to know Steve a little and his habits. I just hope it doesn’t get worse when the weather cools down. If it does get annoying, I have to remember to keep my mouth shut and keep the peace. People want to be able to do what they want. People expect that much, and truthfully, even I would have a problem with complainers depending on what it was about. As long as it’s reasonable, I want to be able to live my life too, so I can understand where they’re coming from. If it was off-the-wall shit like in Phoenix, that would be different. There’s never any excuse for that degree of noise at any time of day or night.

MONDAY, AUGUST 29, 2022 When we went to the thrift store, I went exactly to where I saw the doll I liked but she wasn’t there. Assuming she was gone, I was ready to move on but then Tom said, “Isn’t that her?”

I turned around and there she was on the next shelf over. I recognized the dollmaker’s name engraved on the back of her neck and uploaded the picture I took of her to Google Lens. Sure enough, the artist made her for Ashton Drake which didn’t surprise me because as soon as I saw her I thought she looked like something they would sell. She’s a 1992 doll that sold for around $70 and that was part of the Forest Heroines series. This one is Cinderella and she’s 15 inches tall. I love the doll but hate her ratty old outfit which I planned to change. I had a spare outfit that fit her. Lavender pants and a white shirt with ruffles at the shoulders and across the chest and a bow at the neck. I chose to keep her bandana on which has a delicate flower design on it.

I also polished her nails red using a toothpick, since her nails are so tiny. In the original photos of her, I could see that she once held a small dove in one hand and a broom in the other. I’ll be getting a small butterfly used for arts and crafts to glue onto her hand.

God, I feel like I’m back with my old MacBook Air whenever I go to launch speech-to-text! It’s been slow to start lately, which is kind of annoying.

Last night we were without power for 3 ½ hours! We were confused at first because although we did hear thunder, it never stormed here. That’s when we started to suspect that there must have been an accident. Thanks to someone in the group, they shared pictures of an accident on a nearby road. We could see the broken fence when we went down that street today. I don’t think anyone was killed. There seems to be a lot of accidents on that road, but then there are tons of accidents all over the whole damn state.

Not everyone here hates me because I was going out the other day when I saw the old couple sitting in front of their place as they often do. From this distance, I couldn’t tell if it was the husband or the wife. Either way, I waved and said hello and they waved back.

One thing I don’t get about the God believers is how they claim he gave us free will and that’s why he doesn’t intervene when people abuse others. Why do people make excuses for not doing the right thing by intervening when we would be quick to want to hang a person who didn’t help prevent harm from coming to someone else? So it’s OK for him to sit back and do nothing but not for people to do nothing? That just seems a little twisted to me.

It was reliable last night, but the two nights before, my nature sound stopped playing before I woke up. So it’s them turning it on and off and nothing to do with being too far from the Wi-Fi. I figured as much since it was even further in the last house.

I had the weirdest dream last night. The dream had one of those feelings that made me wonder if it was a glimpse into another dimension. We were younger in the dream and had gotten divorced and he moved out of our two-story house, even though we remained boyfriend and girlfriend, so I could sleep better. LOL

He moved into an apartment in a seedy neighborhood. I went over to visit him one night and I could hear the thugs shouting in the streets. He also had a cat.

I told him I didn’t want to actively try to get pregnant, but I thought we should remarry and he should move back into the house. I told him that if he ever had a medical emergency and had to go to the hospital, I probably wouldn’t be allowed to see him as just his girlfriend. I told him there was no reason he couldn’t sleep in the bed when I was up and downstairs on the couch when I wasn’t.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 28, 2022 Tom is in bed now, watching TV on his laptop. His sciatica is bad again. We were going to go out earlier, but the store we want to go to is closed. This turns out to be a good thing because of his back. So we’ll go out tomorrow instead. I want to go back to the thrift store and see if that doll I liked is still there. I almost got her the first time around but was turned off by the price. They’re way more expensive than Goodwill. After we left I regretted not getting it so I’ll get it tomorrow if it’s still there. They even had a Paradise Galleries doll that was still in its box. The face was just OK, though, and I couldn’t see the outfit. The only window in the box was where her face was.

I decided the new memory foam topper just wasn’t for me. My first thought was to return it but then I realized I could cut it into little chunks and make a great body pillow out of it. I might even be able to use some for a head pillow but I wouldn’t cut little pieces for that. Instead, I would just cut one big piece the size of a pillow.

I’ve now gone over 2K miles in VZ. I don’t think I’ll be traveling much today because I’m kind of tired. We did get in a round of golf, though.

My schedule has jumped six hours and two days and I’m not sure why it’s rolling faster these days but it is.

Out of curiosity, I posted a Happy Saturday meme in the park group yesterday just to see how many likes it would get. It got 8 likes and one love.

I later shared a post saying that with all the depressing news - war in Ukraine, war on women, hate for Jews, hate for gays - it was nice to see uplifting posts.

That only got one love. Goes to show how many bigots live in this park. They’re all over the state actually.

Then I noticed something interesting. When I was checking out who liked what posts/comments, I noticed a couple of hidden likes. if I’m understanding how things work correctly then this means someone has blocked me. I can’t imagine who the hell it could be. None of our immediate neighbors have blocked me, the gay guy who hates me hasn’t blocked me, and neither has the woman who didn’t like my suggesting debarking dogs. So who the hell could it be then???

Hoping to find out and settle my curiosity, I requested to join the group from Mia’s account and said I was not a resident but was planning to move here yet they wouldn’t let me in.

If someone really has blocked me, I can’t imagine who the hell it could be. The gay guy hasn’t blocked me and neither has his husband who might be the guy I saw sitting in front of the redneck’s place that I waved to that didn’t wave back. It’s still possible that just because he was looking in my general direction he might not have seen me. I’m a little surprised a republican redneck would have anything to do with gays if that was who I saw. I know they’re at least connected in that the gay guys live near Roy, were close to Roy, and they know that Steve got his dog. The question is how Steve knows Roy. I’m guessing the redneck new people that lived here before it moved in.

It will be interesting to see how we’re treated if we ever make it to play bingo.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 27, 2022 It’s a dark and rainy day out there. The kind you like every now and then but wouldn’t want every day. The plants wouldn’t want it either. I took the money tree out to get some rain because I read that they like that.

It’s only 78 degrees today instead of the usual upper 80s to low 90s.

We ran out to a thrift store yesterday. Like with Goodwill, you just never know what treasures you may find in places like that. I saw a realistic porcelain doll for $15 that I liked. Just maybe I’ll go back and get it. It was kind of small. I don’t think it was even a foot long. The outfit was hideous, but that can be replaced. We also went into a store similar to Overstock. If I was looking for a large planter, it would be a nice store for that. They had a pretty rainbow planter.

Tom shot a creepy cool video yesterday. There are these bugs called walking sticks. A mama walking stick with a baby walking stick on her back was navigating the side of the house by the master bedroom. Fucking Google won’t let me download it.

The foam lavender-scented topper came yesterday and it’s comfortable. It’s especially comfortable when I’m lying on my back. Feels a little weird at first when I shift to my side or my stomach until I get used to it. I’m hoping it will help with the cutaneous nerve issues I’ve been having. Seems to be helping so far, but it definitely makes me sleep warmer so I don’t need the throw at the foot of the bed. Just the cover sheet and thin coverlet. In the winter, I’ll add the throw. I’m glad I only got the 1.5” because softer just isn’t good when you’re heavy. Back when I was skinny, it was great. I don’t see how he stands his 3” topper. We definitely have different tastes in that we can’t share the same bed, but most importantly his constant snoring would keep me up all the time. All the time we were on the same schedule anyway.

Norma and Michelle were the first to be dreamt about on my new topper. I was telling Norma about my sorry childhood. Then I was at Michelle’s house and I followed her into her bedroom as we were chatting. There were two twin beds and she said something about her husband who I knew slept in one of the beds. One bed had what appeared to be some medical equipment around it and I assumed that was probably her husband’s bed.

Then Michelle and I were preparing to go out walking with a friend of hers. I asked how long we were going to walk, saying that I would prefer not to walk longer than half an hour.

In the second dream, I was in a large hotel or apartment building with long corridors. I had just gotten some treats out of a vending machine when a German shepherd was suddenly standing by my side, eyeing the treats curiously.

“No!” I told it firmly and the dog took off down the hall, much to my relief.

Not far behind it, I was looking for a certain room number that didn’t seem to exist. The numbers skipped the room I was looking for. As I was searching for the nonexistent room, I saw an older fat guy open one of the doors and let the German shepherd inside.

We were packing to move in the last dream. I have no idea where we were going, but I said that it was the last time I was doing it because it was a pain in the ass.

Ended up regretting and removing the post about the barking yesterday. I should have figured as much. Besides, this is a little different than when we complained about the freeloaders of Phoenix. That’s because technically, they really aren’t doing anything wrong. If they left the thing outside to bark for hours on end, that would be different. They don’t let the dog bark incessantly. They don’t blast loud music. They don’t have underage people living there. And most importantly, they’re quiet at night.

Three people “liked” the post. One woman “liked” it and then “unliked” it, I noticed while I happened to be on Facebook. Toni commented, saying that she appreciates my comments, but patience and tolerance is a virtue. They’re not doing anything wrong and there isn’t anything you can do with a yapper, trust her.

Well, patience has nothing to do with it since this dog isn’t going to change. It’s a natural barker. I could tell that the first time I heard it. Steve just doesn’t care to train it. But she is right in that they’re not doing anything wrong since it’s only for a minute or less, one to three times a day.

Then some married gay guy chimes in, saying this one has gone too far and it’s no one’s business what people do in the privacy of their own homes. Then he shares a link to the county’s noise ordinances.

Not sure what privacy in homes has to do with anything but he did have a point about people being allowed to make noise between 10:00 PM and 7:00 AM. I don’t know if it would be “OK” if he were to suddenly have a boom car stereo blasting in and out half a dozen times a day, but he (Jim) was right. It had gone too far and no one wanted to hear it so I deleted the post.

So yeah, nothing does change when you don’t speak up because then you don’t piss people off and risk being spited. It really is better to just deal with people’s shit as long as it’s not literally harming you in any way or costing you money. Yes, the inevitable return of the motorcycle is going to suck but he has every right to ride it as often as he wants.

I’m not gonna leave the group, but I’m going to go quiet for a while because while I came here to live and not to please people, I don’t want to offend anyone either. Besides, as much as people preach forgiveness, people rarely forgive, forget, and move on.

For a minute I felt slightly embarrassed knowing Irma and the honker probably saw the post, but what are they gonna do about it? Come over and give me a good spanking when they return? I don’t have to win anyone’s approval. Just tolerate and get along with them and hope they don’t screw us over to the point that we’re forced to fight back in any way. I can just imagine how many people in this park are aware of it, though! It’s a small park even with the new addition, not that anyone’s living there yet. It’s getting close, though. They brought in tons of houses.

I told Jessie that while this isn’t something I tell many people, but when he goes, I go. I was telling her that I could not only not function on my own in such a high-tech world and with a driving phobia, but I would be so miserable without him. She said she would be devastated if she lost David and that if it happened to both of us we could live like the Golden Girls, if not next to each other. That’s sweet, but I would still be miserable and prefer to join my husband in the Land of the Dead. Even if I wouldn’t miss the shit out of him and even if she drove us wherever we needed to go, I couldn’t go into her house and demand she not cook anything smelly while I was sleeping and not do this and not do that so as to help ensure that I don’t wake up. And while she’s not exactly inconsiderate, most people aren’t as considerate as Tom either.

Toni really does love to talk to herself, LOL. So much so that a part of me wondered if she might hear voices, but she seems too sane for that.

“Okay,” she said with determination as I was approaching her yesterday. Then, “I know I have to go back to work.”

When she saw me, I asked if she needed help with anything and she thanked me but said she was fine. She’s gonna be having hip surgery at the end of next month, which will hopefully help her get around better.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 2022 Hearing the dog daily yet again has me torn between those who believe that complaining only stirs up trouble and those who say that if you don’t speak up, nothing ever changes. The problem is that I can’t get the office to respond to my emails and I don’t want to go down to the office either. I think I’m just going to have to accept that I’m going to have to live with this fucking mutt for many years to come. I’m destined to always have something annoying to deal with. If it wasn’t this dog, it would be somebody else’s. If it wasn’t a dog, it would be something else like perhaps additional motorcycles.

I know it won’t do me any good, but I did post in the park group saying, “Just a friendly reminder that dogs CAN be trained and we do NOT want to hear them inside our houses. If we did, we would have stayed in the mainstream and not come to an adult community that is supposed to be peaceful. Just saying.”

Two people “liked” it within an hour of posting it. So I’m not the only one sick of this shit that isn’t supposed to be in these kinds of places.

I had a horrible nightmare last night. We were talking about whether or not we may move in the future and I was saying that I wanted to take our time and get it right and not settle. Tom told me he understood as we exited some kind of building and walked down a bunch of steps. To one side of the steps were large rocks in which the sea waves lapped. The water surface was a foot below us.

Quickly and without warning, Tom jumped into the water. I froze with surprise and wondered how he knew the water was deep enough to jump into.

A few seconds later when he didn’t resurface, I began to panic. I started shouting his name and then I lost my footing and ended up in the water as well. The dream ended with me shouting his name frantically.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 25, 2022 Today’s storm has arrived. I don’t know if we’ll get as much rain as we did yesterday, but we’re certainly getting thunder.

I don’t like the way my snorkel with the attached hose fits, so we’re sending it back. He likes his, though. It covers the whole face. The problem is that my temple area is so narrow that I have to have it uncomfortably tight in order to get a good seal. Instead, I’m getting a regular snorkel set like what I used in Hawaii.

I also got a set of four tiny diamond paintings with rainbow beads stemming from them that you can hang as suncatchers in windows.

Sometimes the only way to know if Alexa can do something is to just ask her. I switched out my incandescent light bulb in the lamp by the bed for an LED so that the plant on the nightstand can have decent lighting. I told her to turn that light off in six hours and she did! Sure wish she wouldn’t ask and tell me things I didn’t ask for, though. She still does that at times and it’s still annoying. Why don’t people care what their customers want? I guess when you’re as big as Amazon is, you don’t care if you lose some customers because you can afford to.

Went about a week without hearing Steve’s mutt, but I heard it today. Something like 15 to 20 barks. I’m sure he was taking it to the doggy park.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 23, 2022 On the way to Howard Beach, even though I’m a little tired and his stomach isn’t the greatest.

Funny how I remembered it was the bigoted Rosemarie’s birthday on the 6th but didn’t remember till today that yesterday was Nane’s birthday. She’s 62 now.

So yesterday on Nane’s birthday, we got four lovely plants from Lowe’s for just $21, a Petra Croton from South India, which likes bright light and is in the pink planter in the living room. It’s a combo with two different colored leaves. One has pink lines and the other has white.

Then there’s the Asterisk Ivy from Europe which likes medium light and is in the dark gray pot in his bathroom.

Next is the Green Fantasy Fern from Tropical America, which also likes medium light. It’s in the yellow planter in the bedroom.

Lastly is a combo Fittonia from Peru, also known as a nerve plant. Some leaves have red lines and others have white. I actually like the white better because it pops against the dark green leaves. This one prefers low light and is in the green planter in my back office.

We ordered a moisture meter. If I like how it works, I might get more so each plant can have one. That way I don’t poke roots every time I stick it in the dirt.

The combination watering/misting bottle was a joke so we ordered squeezable bottles with a long, skinny spout. The problem with the other one was that as soon as I tilted it to spray the backs of the plants, water would spill from the watering spout and make a mess.

Besides a waterproof camera for the front, since this one keeps crapping out on us, I’m getting assorted scented soap samplers to put in my bath gloves. The scents are African Violet, Passion Flower, Fresh Milk & Shea, Black Currant, Island Ginger Mango, Ocean Pur, Seafresh Mineral, Lavender Chamomile, Cucumber, Pineapple Cocoa, Almond, Rosewater Jasmine, Lemon Verbena, Organic Oatmeal, and Juicy Peach.

Lastly, I got some foot-soaking bombs to put in our electric foot-soaker.

I can’t wait to grow my hair out again! They have this new reverse hair dryer that sucks in hair and straightens it at the same time it dries it. I don’t see myself growing it to the insane lengths I used to have, but maybe to the middle of my back, so almost two years. I have a short back and my hair grows fast, especially when I have enough thyroid in me. I’ll start up with the scalp massages and the gentle pulling to help speed up the process.

I offered 4 diamond paintings for $30 each in the park group. I got 9 likes, 5 comments, and 0 buys. ☹

I also dropped my maiden name on Facebook. I don’t want to be associated with anyone with that name, and it’s too Jewish, especially for Florida. Fucking everyone hates Jews and gays here. It’s fucking pathetic.

Absolute silence from the termite, so I don’t know what to think. Why would this fucking idiot hide her friend list yet post publicly? This exposes at least some of her friends.

Later…

At the charger now after what was easily the best beach run ever! Thank goodness for the lady that was already in the water when we arrived or else I’d have completely freaked out. Even he would have been startled. The lady said she went there every morning to snorkel and said six manatees were swimming around us and we were like…wow! They were huge! Manatees are ugly but harmless. They would stick their noses out of the water and blow air through their nostrils at times. They were amazing to see. We both took pics and can’t wait to check them out at home after we eat the burger and fries we’re now on our way to grab from Checkers.

Along with the manatees were the usual fish we’ve seen that feed off of the grassy areas. Plus, there were these striped fish like the tropical fish we saw in Hawaii. I’ve gotta look up what they are. They were bigger than the smallest fish we’ve seen. Tom saw something slither along the bottom but said it didn’t look long enough to be a snake. An eel?

It’s a great beach, like I said. Closer to home and never crowded. At least not when we’re there. We were there for about 90 minutes and only a few people were there. It was very quiet and relaxing, save for a couple of annoying motorcycles cruising the parking lot for a few minutes and a few planes, but that’s about it. No screaming kids, no ball-throwing close by, no loud music.

Plenty of loud music on the road, though. It’s awful with the way the roads sound like such warzones with all the loud music and motors. Just fucking ridiculous. I don’t understand why this shit is still legal. Come on, politicians! You love to control people’s lives. This is your chance to tell people what to do, so why not jump at such a great opportunity?

Anyway, the lady there also pulled out a scallop and then put it back in the water, saying you can only take them when they’re in season, whenever that is.

We totally love this beach. The only negs are the lack of waves and excess seaweed.

Had a dream that someone broke into wherever I/we were living. I didn’t see an intruder but knew someone had to have been in the place because the blinds were open that I had closed and other things were out of place.

My first thought was to go back outside and call the police, but suddenly I realized I was braless and it bothered me. The dream ended with me trying to decide if I should just call the cops first or take a chance by running in to grab a bra, even if the intruder may still be inside the house.

Later…

Back home now and his pics came out shitty but he got some awesome videos of the manatees as well as other fish! One of the manatees had a long white streak we’re guessing is a scar from a boat propeller.

They usually range from about 10 to 13 feet long, I just looked up and can weigh between 800 to 1200 pounds. They also live 50 to 60 years!

I think the small fish we saw are mullets and the striped ones could be sheep heads.

The goggles we used suck. They didn’t seal completely. I need to remember to take my nose pincher next time, too. We’re gonna get better goggles for next time. The kind with a pipe so you can breathe.

The sun and sea helped perk me up. If only I could walk to the beach every day I woke up tired. Or hang out on a private dock when I was tired at night.

I’m in such a great mood and there are no words to describe how wonderful it is to be able to wake up and not have to worry about the middle of my day approaching, knowing I’d be likely to get hit with anxiety and mindfucked into some very dark thoughts.

Florida is so much more fun than Cali. If we suddenly knew we had to return to our old house and he had to return to the same old boring job where he was overworked and underpaid, we would be so depressed! I was so, so miserable there.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 21, 2022 Nothing but some weird dreams to report. I read an article about a woman who swears she was struck dead by lightning in a previous life when she was 2 years old and that she was “shot” into the body she’s in now. The article also talks about how some people believe dreams are glimpses into either past lives or parallel universes. As vivid and as detailed as many of my dreams are, I’ve often wondered the same thing. It just seems hard to believe the brain can make up so much random stuff but I don’t know. I couldn’t consciously do it to such a degree while I was awake, so I don’t know how my brain does it when I’m asleep.

I had a dream I was in this older-looking house. It was large and set close to others and in the middle of the street it was on. The house itself reminded me of something you would find in the Northeast. It was interesting in the way it was laid out. Upstairs you had a total of four doors, two of which were directly across from others. What was weird was that there wasn’t a traditional hallway in between but almost a whole room that was perhaps 12x15.

I had another dream that I wrote something to the termites that they didn’t like. They tried to get ahold of me to give me a piece of their minds by sending a message containing some automated thing where I had to request the URL from them in order to read what they had to say.

Then I was horrified because the termite was there in the room with me. Tom was out at the moment and I wondered how the hell I was going to explain her sudden presence when he got in.

The termite’s termites lived just a couple of buildings or houses down from us (I don’t know if I was aware of this all along or if I just discovered it). It was night time and I was taking a stroll down the street since the sun had set and it had cooled off. I peeked through their basement window which was lit up. I never did see them, but when the light suddenly went out, I quickly moved along so I wouldn’t be spotted.

It was so dark and there were no streetlights. As I walked down the street, I soon realized I was lost and unsure if I was still on my street. I could see the silhouette of the street signs against the night sky, but couldn’t read them. Then I spotted some people through a large window. I asked if this was (whatever the name of my street was) and one of them nodded.

So I walked back up the street. I could now make out our place clearly because our bathroom, which happened to be on the other side of the street and only enterable from there, was lit up. The glow of the bathroom light spilling out its door cast light on our house across the street.

Hoping it was Tom using the bathroom and not some intruder, I peered through the door and saw Tom at the sink. At first, he seemed annoyed or maybe disappointed by my presence but seemed OK once he started talking.

In the last dream, we were living in a small building in a rural area. Two-story condos or apartments of some kind. We must not have found the neighbors disturbing because I was dreading the day it built up in the area enough to want to move. When I stood on our upper-story balcony and looked down, I imagined a bear wandering through and climbing the railings and tried to imagine what I would do. I guessed I would run into the bedroom and shut the door and then run into the bathroom that was off of it and shut that door too, then hope to hell I had my phone on me so I could call for help.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 20, 2022 OMG, the redneck speaks! He never commented or reacted to any of my posts/comments before (nor Toni’s from what I could see) so I thought he decided he hated us. LOL This was a comment I left in regards to people airing out their park peeves.

“I’m not the type to run to the office to complain unless it’s something really big, but what really gets to me is when they tell us what to do as if we’re children and they’re our parents. Have they forgotten that we’re the ones paying them?”

Redneck replied with “could be a democrap thing like wearing your mask when your in your car all by yourself smh”

Maybe the reason he decided to “like” and comment on my comment was that I said I wasn’t the type to complain. I purposely threw that in there as a throw-off, too. Maybe he was suddenly like, oh wow, so she wasn’t the one that complained about the dog?

Although I still doubt the office ever said anything to him.

Am I honestly the only lib in this park? Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in the whole damn state.

My lower stomach is definitely flatter. No doubt about it. The cutback in sugar? The meds? Both? I’ll weigh in when I get up tomorrow if I remember, and see where I’m at.

Although I’m not as tired as yesterday, I’m still tired. I’ve only had energy for one day since the 13th. It’s obviously not going away, so I just have to learn to live with it. Nothing woke me up but the same thing happened when I woke up to pee and had to Benadryl myself back to sleep.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 18, 2022 Even though it only lasted half a day, it was so nice to have energy for the first time in 5 days! I cooked, cleaned and exercised. Together he and I also transferred the money tree into its new home.

Only one of the new five pots is an ugly color. That would be the dark gray one. I have a pale yellow pot, a pale pink one, and two green ones. One is a bluish-green and that’s the one the money tree is in. We didn’t realize it was in a smaller container inside the pink bucket it came in. I’m sure it appreciates the freedom it now has with all the extra breathing room. Hopefully, it will grow better.

He got soil especially made for money trees. Plus we got other soil for whatever plants we end up getting later on. I’m hoping to find a plant that does okay in artificial lighting since the bedroom is usually pretty dark. I’d like to have a plant in each room. An aglaonema would look great in the pink pot with its pink hues on its leaves.

We ordered a small watering can that also has a sprayer so I can mist and water at the same time.

Sometimes I don’t hear from Jessie for about a week and I wonder why. Nothing seems to be wrong and she checks in every day yet is slow to pick up and respond to my messages. Since we golfed together she hasn’t mentioned doing it again. She hasn’t told me anything about what kinds of apps she’s gotten either. I sent a message earlier and asked.

Damn, do I miss the hell out of Aly! This is purely a dream but if she were to suddenly contact me and say she never died and it was all just a joke, I would be way too excited to be pissed at her!

We ordered some smart bulbs and I got the last nightgown to complete my new collection. I decided to get the light gray. That way I don’t have to worry about the black possibly bleeding. I might still get the black one someday so I can have seven instead of six and therefore have a whole week’s worth.

I had a vibe about us moving in 2026 or 2027 but I don’t know. The horses are still consistent and my gut feeling is still strongly sure that this isn’t our forever home but you never do know. Since I can’t imagine us ever having the kind of money for a nice house on the beach or a luxury high-rise that was soundproof, I’m torn between going rural vs. staying in a community. They both have their pros and cons.

Later…

Oh, of course they want to ban Anne Frank’s book from schools. Like gee, what a surprise these days, right? I saw the headline about a Saudi Arabian chick going down for 34 years for tweeting, and I could sit here and tell you that’s just so damn typical of those countries, but I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if we eventually ended up with shit like that happening right here with all the steps we’ve been taking back into the dark ages.

The woman wanting decorative vases (Teresa) just now got my message and I realized that it’s entirely possible but very unlikely that Redneck wasn’t notified of my comment and doesn’t know about his hidden inbox.

She’s in one of the new houses and moving on Saturday. That was fast. I didn’t think those houses had been there for long. Maybe she considers it her FL starter house like this is (hopefully) our FL starter house.

I’m now scrambling to get done what I need to so I can be a tired waste product for the rest of my day since I’m exhausted from being woken up by a storm. ☹ Really, it’s getting REALLY hard to try to convince myself that this is all just one big coincidence and that there really isn’t anything up there wanting me tired so much of the time.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17, 2022 There really is no winning for women no matter what they do. A whole shitload of them that would prefer not to have to abort in non-surgical ways if they have an accident are running to get their tubes tied. Sure enough, a lot of doctors are arguing with them about it, especially if they’re young. It’s total bullshit.

Meanwhile, if a guy wants fixing there are no questions asked. Ask me again why I resent men in general.

It’s like women just can’t fucking win. They’re “lazy” if they don’t work. They’re not with the times if they have kids, but of course they can’t get rid of those little embryos to begin with either. Now they can’t even talk about abortion without risking being arrested, you have a woman forced to carry a headless fetus unless she can go to Florida, then there’s the parentless 16-year-old in this state who isn’t “mature” enough to decide for herself if she should have an abortion, so she too may be forced to carry if she doesn’t find a way to get rid of it on her own even though children should be mandated to abort no matter what because kids shouldn’t have kids. Period.

Sometimes I really think we’re heading for a national ban on abortion and birth control, not to mention the shit that may come to the GLBT community and Jews. Even then, where there’s a will there’s usually a way (to abort) but that’s not the point. The point is that they shouldn’t have to. Men don’t have to so why should they? With Tom and very few other exceptions – FUCK MALES!

How far back into the Dark Ages do we have to crawl before this insanity stops? Really, how far down into the pit of depravity do we have to sink? How many more lives have to be ruined by people’s stupidity and twisted beliefs?

It’s been a week now and I still have the perfect manicure and pedicure. Worth every penny!

I don’t know if I could do either diet but sometimes I wonder if I might be better off going with alternate-day fasting when it comes time for me to get serious about it. I’m going to have to go to 1000 to 1200 calories a day if I were to eat every day and that’s going to leave me hungry as hell. So if I’m going to be hungry anyway I might be better off just not eating every other day and then I can enjoy having whatever I want on the days that I eat.

Again, the people here definitely don’t seem very friendly. One woman had an accident and was injured and asked if anyone was going to Winn-Dixie because she was unable to drive. She never got a single reply. But the same person asked if anyone had any decorative vases available and I told her that I did and I even showed her a picture of the vase. It was from my parents. I never use it. Even so, she never replied to me. Are there that many people that know of and are pissed that I’m annoyed by the redneck’s dog or am I just being paranoid?

It is so typical that as soon as I fall in love with a new product at a grocery store they stop selling it. We went to Publix the other day and it was the second or third time they didn’t have Chi Chi’s pina colada. I noticed that Walmart now claims to have it but I’d be willing to bet just about anything that I won’t get it. I think sometimes they advertise things they don’t actually have.

The money tree was starting to look a little shabby and I read that they recommend a medium planter for it which is 6” so we got a set of five planters on Amazon, each a different color. At some point, we’ll go to Lowe’s even if they make shopping a miserable experience with all the blasting music and pick out some more plants to go in the extra pots. I’m not going to re-pot the Rosemary, though, who also looks a little questionable now. I don’t know what it is with me and plants but hopefully they’ll both be okay.

Anyway, this is the fourth day in a row I’ve been tired and I have no idea why. I slept longer even though I woke up four or five times along the way. I did muster up a little energy to hit the road but I can’t because my headset can’t connect to the Wi-Fi and I don’t remember the password. He’s already gone to bed.

He got a mesh extender to hopefully keep Alexa from cutting out in the bedroom even though I don’t know that that was the problem to begin with. I really think something is messing with my sleep like it always has and therefore it’s more connected to that. Not how far the bedroom’s Alexa is from the router or whatever the hell it is. The sound of the mower didn’t wake me up today but the smell of fresh-cut grass did. Then I had to pee twice and then it seemed like I just woke up for the hell of it. Something up there definitely hasn’t wanted me to sleep well for most of my life. Sometimes I wonder if a lot of my problems as an adult have to do with some twisted form of compensation for not having to get up to an alarm every morning like everyone else under 65. I think I’d rather have pain than fatigue at this point. I thought the answer was extending my waiting time before having coffee but now I don’t know. If it’s my thyroid still not being good, why am I not tired every single day? I’ve been dealing with this for a year and a half now. Oh, I’ve had fatigue far longer than that but the heavier fatigue that interferes with my activities has been going on for about a year and a half or so. I wonder if I could have possibly caught covid and I’m having post-covid fatigue. I’ve heard that can linger for quite a while. I doubt it though. I guess it’s just age and my thyroid because there’s absolutely nothing to suggest that I have obstructed sleep apnea, cancer, heart disease, or anything else I can think of off the top of my head that may cause this. I’m not malnourished or dehydrated so I don’t know what it could be.

So I went premium with Sleep Sounds but the damn tracks are looping every hour and not 10 hours like I thought they were supposed to. If I want to find out if the problem really was being further from the router or if it could be Amazon, I need to go back to using Nature Sounds. At least then I can get my preferred sound and for 10 hours as long as it doesn’t cut out.

Surprisingly there isn’t a single thing new on the termite’s wall. With her profile set to public, I expected to see birthday wishes but there is absolutely nothing. I’m guessing Mark’s home by now and recovering there.

MONDAY, AUGUST 15, 2022 In reading around the park group, it seems that there are others who say that the people here don’t seem very friendly. That’s exactly what I was thinking. They definitely seemed friendlier at the other park. There were only a couple of people I didn’t like there. The grumpy old man who moved to Arizona and Melody. But I’ve definitely noticed this here, even though we’re not out as often as I was there. I think after you meet people like the scum we lived with in Phoenix, and the dominating tyrant that Stacey was, along with people like Ellie, Donna, and Rosemarie, it’s easy to think Westerners are worse in general.

I could be imagining it, but I get the impression the redneck, my new nickname for Steve because he totally looks the part, doesn’t like Toni much either. I don’t care if he has a problem with me because we came here for the weather and cheaper living, not to score points with the neighbors. I’m just glad that Toni’s so nice since she’s next to us and that no one’s on the other side of us half of the year. Really, I don’t have any hard feelings towards Toni because I knew up front that anything I told her could get around. Still, I miss Bob, Virginia, and the Twenties! Hell, even Crazy Dixie was better than the redneck and the honker. I’m not the least bit surprised there are more dogs here since it’s more customary to allow them indoors in the East whether their owners are rude, inconsiderate assholes or not.

I’m still going through and posting old journals for future publication. Actually, I’m sharing some now. I’m only doing it here, though. I’m so embarrassed when I think of how into the God fantasy I was in the 90s when I was young, naïve, and a lot more emotional. Things were so direr to me back then. The way I wanted so badly to believe that there was something up there I could pray to for good things to happen. The way I thought it was cursing me in every way possible. Maybe it was, but the fact that I dwelled on and obsessed over it so much makes me shake my head in sadness and embarrassment when I think back to those days. I guess we all do silly things when we’re young.

While I’ve never read or seen the show The Handmaiden’s Tale is based on, it’s kind of scary how life can imitate art. The author was told she was crazy to think that a religious takeover from the right could happen, yet we’re in the middle of that happening. Oh, I don’t know that it will get as far as in the book and show, but you never do know. I think if it goes that far, it’s not likely to happen while I’m still alive. I don’t think they’ll try to run the Jews out of the country, but again, you never do know. I think the blacks will still be the last ones they pick on. Their next target will be the gays.

They’ve been banning books like crazy too, so I think that speech is very likely to be targeted soon enough, but you know what? I’m not hiding and I’m not going to be bullied. I’m not gonna change my life for crazy people/laws. I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone push me around. I gotta live my life and not worry about what may happen because I said this or I wrote that and someone had a problem with it. So yeah, I’m sharing things little by little. I skim the entries and if I don’t see sensitive info, then I don’t care who sees it. So if anyone wants to give me any shit about something I wrote in 1989, for example, they’re on their own. Meaning that they can send all the threats and summons they want but I will always refuse to succumb to that kind of shit. Always.

I had a dream they passed laws restricting women from wearing certain types of clothes. Maybe guys too, but definitely women because my tights became illegal and I refused to give them up and give in to crazy. Years ago I would have said this was an absolutely ridiculous dream that could never happen. Now I’m not so sure. Any country is vulnerable to ending up with the wrong people running it.

Three strikes and you’re out, Nature Sounds! They’re back to being erratic again, so I canceled them for good. I’ll use Sleep Sounds even though it loops every hour. I don’t like their version of underwater as much, so I’ll use either box fan or plane.

This is the second day in a row I’ve been tired. I napped, but it didn’t do me any good.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 13, 2022 The night before last I slept 9 hours and got a great sleep score. Therefore I was up later than usual. Last night, however, I didn’t even make 5 hours. Didn’t get the greatest sleep score either. So I’m too tired to accompany Tom on his walk which he’s taking right now. The humidity is lower because it’s been dry. I’m surprised since it is still peak storm season. It’s probably waiting until I’m trying to catch up on sleep before it storms again.

We got a $20 car vacuum and I vacuumed out the car as well as dusted it and wiped off some soda that spilled on the inside of the door.

My Steve paranoia wasn’t unrealistic after all. That old guy probably did see me waving to him too, and if it wasn’t for Toni telling me that some people don’t get the Hooter, I would probably think there was a connection there as well. Had a feeling my message was being ignored and not unseen. Me replying to one of Steve’s comments letting him know I DM’d him and that the message may have gone to his hidden inbox confirmed my suspicions when he ignored that too.

I still don’t get why people can’t handle reasonable requests. Why are they so sensitive and take things so damn personally? A simple “we’re working on it” would have been nice but he couldn’t even give me that much.

So, just like at the other park, someone in the office outed me to him. Or maybe they told him that they got a complaint and he just guessed it was me since Toni probably opened her mouth and discussed the damn dog with him. I was stupid to trust her. I knew it was a bad idea yet I stupidly went and confided in her anyway. That’s my first guess as to what his problem is with me. I don’t think the office said anything to him either way.

I only heard four barks today and I didn’t hear anything the last couple of days, but I’m sure that’s only because I kept missing it. If I’m in my back office with the fan on, I’m not likely to hear it. I would bet just about anything that if the park said people could do whatever we wanted with dogs, and if there was room for it, the redneck-looking bastard would leave the thing outside 24/7 no matter how much it barked or who it pissed off.

I meant to post this a while ago, but then Tom came back from his walk and we started talking. He said that toward the back of the park. Someone was blasting music really loud. You could hear it a block away. OMG, that would piss me off! I can’t believe that’s allowed and tolerated here. I know I read in the handbook that you’re not supposed to have any parties or anything that can be heard inside other people’s houses. He said this is the second time he’s heard it. It was rock music the first time and tonight it was Spanish music. I’m just glad they’re not near us!

The rope isn’t keeping the sheets from slipping, so now he got a couple of cheap straps that you buckle. This should be a lot tighter.

I also ordered K-cups, a new body pillowcase since the one I got pilled up big time, and my fourth new nightgown. I got one with green and white tropical leaves against a navy background. Another has a leopard print. Then there’s one with shooting stars against a navy background. The one on its way is solid blue. I may get one or two more. The next one I’m going to get is black. I don’t know if I’m going to get the gray one. They don’t have a colorful variety, but at least they fit in and are comfortable.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 11, 2022 Tom is out trimming the corner tree by the lanai and living room.

Yesterday I got fed up with the barking enough to message Steve, but as usual, it’s either gone ignored or unseen. There are still a lot of people that don’t know about Facebook’s hidden inbox which really pisses me the fuck off. They now let us choose whether or not to get messages from outsiders, so why not let them all enter the same box and let us decide whether or not we’re willing to see potential spam?

There were two barking sprees that I know of, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more. There were something like 20 to 30 barks both times and he did absolutely nothing to shut the thing up. He obviously cares if it’s heard in his home a lot more than in other homes.

I have no idea why, but I received an automated e-mail from Tabitha saying that it would be a good time to get my application going for a house here. Um, hello! I already live here. I just want you to make Steve shut his dog up.

My T4 should now be settled in. I’m not going to start calorie reduction until my TSH is settled in. First, I’m starting with intermittent fasting by narrowing the window in which I eat each day. I’m doing the 8-hour window that Aly once did before she got sick. When she wasn’t sick, she was naturally plump, so she sometimes only allowed herself to eat during 8 hours of the day. I’m going to start with that and then I’ll focus on ingredients and eventually calories. I’m already focusing a little bit on ingredients because I’m not having as much sugar.

If I could lose 40 or 50 pounds, it might really help my blood pressure. Maybe even my cholesterol. Right now, I don’t even see myself losing 10 pounds. I’ll find out soon enough, however, just how doable or not-so-doable it is.

I’m guessing my TSH is a 7.something right now. Still too high to bother with any serious dieting. I start to feel tears of happy and excited anticipation build up in my eyes when I think that the next test could possibly be my first normal test in years…without the epic anxiety. Trying not to get my hopes up too high, but what a thrill it would be to see green! I’m tired of those red numbers signaling that results aren’t normal.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 10, 2022 It still blows my mind to know that in 2007 we crawled into California in an old beat-up truck with barely a few hundred bucks to our name. 14 years later we flew out first class with many thousands.

Other things blow my mind in a bad way. In getting my Bing points, I came across an article about a Nebraska mother and daughter charged with aborting, burning, and burying the daughter’s fetus. Again, I can’t help but think to myself…I can’t believe I’m reading this shit.

The only thing I don’t get is why they waited so long since the daughter was over 20 weeks. Of course, Facebook had to throw them under the bus by sharing their DM’s with the pigs.

Began watching a show called Chambers. Not sure if I like it that much but I think I can stand to watch it.

We had quite a storm last night. It was very windy and very fast-moving. We lost power for 20 minutes so it’s a good thing I wasn’t sleeping then as well as in the afternoon and evening before. It was funny when I heard the dog make 3 barks and then Steve yelled “Shut up!” Nice to know he’s just as annoyed by his mutt as I am, but why can’t he do that when it’s on the street as well as at the door of their house and have the same consideration for others as he has for himself?

Later that day, the 3 barks turned into 30. As expected, I had to hear 15 barks this morning while golfing. The woman who lives with him doesn’t have the same last name. Assuming they’re not married, it would be so nice if they broke up and she took the damn dog with her.

No nightmares last night, but I had a weird dream involving my old ENT. I flew by myself to see her. I was in a large exam room and in the middle of the appointment, some guy was in the room for a second before he disappeared. I then asked the doctor if it was only once a year, could I continue to fly over and see her? LOL

TUESDAY, AUGUST 9, 2022 I let the pros take care of me today and got a pedicure with regular nail polish and then gel nails. It totaled $52. The place was smelly with all the fumes and the girl doing my pedicure was a little rough when massaging my feet, but it was otherwise a nice experience. The manicurist was friendlier. I got dark pink on my toenails and neon pink on my fingernails.

I have no idea why, but despite things going well for us, I was plagued with three or four negative dreams last night. I can’t remember all of them, but they seemed to mostly center around poverty. Hopefully, these aren’t signs of anything bad to come or else we may have a very bleak future ahead.

In one of the dreams, we shared a wall with Toni. It was a thin brick wall and there was a loose brick in which Tom hid a small stack of bills. I was concerned that Toni might discover it, but Tom felt confident that she wouldn’t.

No wonder this country is so far in debt. Sure, I can see them running out of retirement money eventually when you give 10 billion bucks to Ukraine. Really, what the fuck were they thinking?! Ukraine is not our problem, so we should stay out of it and take care of our own. They need to fight it out and figure it out on their own. We can’t be expected to solve everyone else’s problems for them.

Between inflation and our country giving away our much-needed money, who knows what kind of financial shape Tom and I will be in a decade from now or what our health will be like?

My TSH should be settled in by four to six weeks from now. So the next time they draw blood, I should find out if my 8-year dream is still just a dream or not.

MONDAY, AUGUST 8, 2022 On the road now and beach-bound for Howard Beach. We’ve never been there before. It’s closer than Honeymoon Island. It sticks out further into the gulf, too.

The magnetic lashes I tried would be a whole lot better if I could see what the fuck I was doing. I’m so blind, even with a magnifier! This is not your typical liner, but this thick gooey stuff you can’t even wipe off. It’s otherwise cool, but I think I’d rather try the old-fashioned sticky lashes or just struggle to apply mascara. I still have long lashes, they’re just thinner.

I have my headphones on now thanks to our attention-needy boom car stereo lovers. Decade after decade and still no one does anything about them. The concept of a ��peaceful trip” is long gone.

Met up with Jessie in VR! We golfed together. It was so much fun and she even got to “meet” Tom. We both talked her through the course, giving her tips and pointers. It was funny because she was like me when I first started, hitting balls too soft or too hard. It takes time to get used to it. Practice makes perfect, as they say, and if it doesn’t, it at least makes better.

We went to Publix yesterday and they were out of Pina Colada. I want to mix my own drinks sometime and get one of those variety packs you mix with rum.

In park group news, someone left a rude comment on my post saying, “Debark dogs. How about devoicing you? Wow.”

So what if I clearly pointed out that not only does it not harm the dog, but they still bark, just not as loud? Can’t anyone look this shit up?

Toni shared a post on what’s currently available at the local animal shelter. I left a comment saying we were thinking of possibly getting a dog, it just has to be hypoallergenic and she “liked” it.

Yesterday my stomach went a little psycho on me, presumably from the greasy chips I ate the previous day. My stomach isn’t used to eating stuff like that. I got Merlot since they were out of Pina Colada. Plus, the chips and a candy bar.

In checking the news, I read that a pharmacist refused a woman the morning-after pill and won the case against him based on “belief.” Well, geez, can we all just kill someone and cry belief then? snorts in disgust

Then Indiana became the first post-Roe state to ban abortion and I just can’t believe I’m reading this shit and that this shit is happening in the US, and all in the name of some fucking fantasy and a God that likely doesn’t even exist, or give a shit if it does.

Great Beach we just spent over an hour on! Until a trio of ball-playing teenage girls ruined the peace, screaming like 5-year-olds. Got there shortly before 8. By 9:30 or so it started picking up. Loud music was blasting for a bit in the parking lot too.

We’re at the charger now. Baskin-Robbins didn’t have the ice cream flavor I wanted to try. So I got stuffed chive and onion mini bagels instead.

He’s looking on his phone for a larger Walgreens. They downsized the one by our place to add doctor’s offices. If I can find it, I’d like a bottle of Bacardi white rum so I can get some cocktail mixers from Walmart and be a one-time “bartender.”

Anyway, I really like this beach and it opens at 7. What I like best about it is that I don’t need my water shoes. The sand wasn’t soft and powdery but wasn’t littered with sharp shells and large rocks either. The sand was kind of packed, making jogging on it easier. Tom shot some VR footage with his new camera, sure that he wants a nice one someday.

The water was the stillest we’ve experienced so far. A slight negative is all the seaweed. Most of it was along the shoreline, though. Saw several minnows too, unlike at the other beaches.

It only costs $5 to park rather than $8 at this place.

It was cool and cloudy. I regret wearing sunscreen because I probably got no color at all.

Overall, it was fun and gorgeous despite those that came to ruin our peace, and one plane after another flying overhead. I swear these days it’s not a matter of being able to avoid being under a flight path since they fly everywhere, but a question of how high the flight path is that you have to live under. They have kayak rentals plus these things with big wheels that you paddle. Not sure how the big wheel thing works, but we want to try it sometime.

We’re back home now. We stopped at Walgreens, but they only sell wine now and not liquor. The lady said very few of their stores carry liquor. So we went to a liquor store and I got a 750-milliliter bottle of Bacardi white rum. It was $13.00. Better than the larger bottle for $22.00 that I was originally going to get. I didn’t realize I could get one that much smaller. With our next Walmart order, I’m going to get a variety pack of eight different mixers. There’s Mojito, Hurricane, Rum Punch, Bahama Mama, Mai Tai, Pina Colada, and Blue Hawaiian. I’m sure I’ll love them all.

It’s a good thing I checked because notifications haven’t been coming in lately. Debi, the woman who commented on my comment said she worked for a vet and swears that debarking is cruel for a dog and causes much postoperative pain. She asked where I got my info. I told her I googled it, not that Google can always be trusted. I also assured her debarking wouldn’t be my first choice. I would prefer to train the dog with bark collars. Whatever, though. I’m not gonna argue with a stranger or defend myself to anyone.

Ooh, look at that. Steve joined the group. Is his timing a coincidence or could it have to do with my comment? Then again, I don’t even know if he knows my name to begin with. Not unless Tom or Toni mentioned it and he happened to remember it.

Watching season three of Haunted. They say they’re true stories and I wonder how they’re verified.

Shelley, a girl in her late 30s in Oregon that I’d been friends with on PB for quite a while, and eventually Facebook, dumped and blocked me. Funny because I was considering cutting ties with her because her paranoia was really getting to me. Because I was sharing links to some of my entries on Facebook, it freaked her out even though I assured her that only a few friends could see them, none of which were hers. I don’t know what it is she’s hiding, but whatever it is, she doesn’t want her boyfriend to know about it. Some people really need to get over themselves.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 6, 2022 Still getting radio silence from the office about the newsletter and I can’t believe they’re not getting the messages. They’ve gotten my message in the past and “Cindy” got a newsletter after she complained so yeah, someone in the office is connected to Steve.

I messaged Toni and asked who delivered the Hooter and she gave me a couple of names I wasn’t sure I recognized. Then she told me she didn’t understand why half the park doesn’t always get their copy. So it isn’t anything personal against me. I didn’t really think it was.

She also told me about a group on Facebook for residents and I joined the other day. Looks like one of the administrators is Marjorie, the one on the welcome committee who welcomed us to the park last year. There are something like 257 members and the group is a couple of years old.

Steve isn’t on the member list but his wife or girlfriend or whoever she is is on it.

The very first post I saw was funny. A lady wrote: Again to you ignorant people who just don’t get it yet. KEEP YOUR DOGS OFF MY YARD. LET THEM DO THEIR BUSINESS ON YOUR YARD. That means whether they are doing #1 or #2.

LOL, I commented: I don’t mind if a dog pees in our yard because it soaks into the ground. I also don’t mind if they poop as long as the poop is picked up. What I do mind is barking. Fortunately, it doesn’t go on and on for hours like in other places I’ve lived in but some dogs are loud and I think bark collars or even getting the dog debarked, which doesn’t harm the dog or stop them from barking but only from being loud enough to hear in other people’s houses, would be a considerate thing to consider.

Hopefully, Julie will see it and she and Steve will be more considerate, but I doubt it. I still wanted to put that out there anyway. It only got one reaction. A “surprised” reaction by a woman I’ve never heard of before. Why was she surprised, I wonder? I guess she doesn’t hear barking every day. I’ll admit I haven’t heard it for the last couple of days, but that’s only because of where my schedule is right now.

I ran the honker’s name in the group. I couldn’t find him before because I was spelling his name wrong. It’s Darryn, not Darren. Looks like he got married last month. But I swear his girlfriend was a brunette, not a blonde.

He lives below Toronto, just left of the Buffalo, NY line. I was just thinking about that too, and how I was hoping they didn’t break up (assuming his bride is Carrie with a dye job) because too much time on his hands may mean more shit for me to have to listen to.

It just hit me that on the honker’s wall, it said he went to a university in 1982. That means he’s actually older than me and not younger because I was 17 in ‘82. His bride looks like she’s in her late 30s to early 40s.

Irma is also in the group.

Where they spited you at the old park for complaining, I guess here they just ignore you, so I’m not the only one being ignored. Someone complained to the office about dogs shitting in their yard and the office ignored them until they sent a picture of some mutt doing it.

Toni also told me that an old guy named Al lives across from her. She said it took him five years to say hello to her, so maybe that’s why the guy sitting in Steve’s carport didn’t wave back when I waved unless they just didn’t see me. I don’t even know that that was the neighbor. It might have been someone else who lives here. Or maybe it was someone visiting or who lives with them because Julie was offering up a walker for sale and I can’t believe she used it for herself.

Decided to start making some of my LJ entries public because there really is no reason not to. I’m even going to allow anonymous comments, but if there’s any spam that will stop.

It’s been hot, humid and stormy. We went for a bike ride early yesterday morning. It was humid, but tolerable as opposed to walking.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 5, 2022 I’ve been pretty tired these last few days. Just not sleeping well. Slept a little better last time around, but after I worked out the fatigue set in again. We’re still going to go on an early morning bike ride.

Jess got her VR headset but doesn’t know what to do with it. She’ll figure it out. She must have made some progress because she sent me a friend request, even though I told her to give me the name of her username beforehand because I don’t accept just anybody. However, her obsession with Disney made it kind of obvious.

I’m going to discontinue the CoQ10 for a while. I’ve been noticeably hungrier lately and I think it’s tied to that. Since it’s not helping my blood pressure, I might as well stop it.

Better yet, maybe I’ll give it a little more time since my blood pressure was almost normal when I just took it. The high end of normal anyway.

Andy’s mom is 95 years old and healthy. I asked him if he took any other medication besides cholesterol meds, and he said they told him his blood pressure was a little high when he was in the hospital and that if blood pressure medication is recommended, he’ll take it. He also rubs some kind of testosterone cream into his arms at times because he stopped being able to get off at 43. Plus an occasional pill when his hands and feet swell from too much sodium.

I chatted with Kim and the reason she didn’t want to discuss things on Facebook wasn’t just that she was telling me things about Heather but financial things as well that she didn’t want documented so they couldn’t be used against her. As fucked up as it is, if you’re on Disability, the people you live with and their income counts as money you’re making even if you’re not the one making it. She said Heather made a lot of money as a banker at a restaurant and then she became the owner of it. How the hell does an 18-year-old manage to own a restaurant?

Anyway, Disability wants her to pay 8k back. Oh, I remember Disability and their bullshit overpayment notices. Nonetheless, she’s really stressing about that and the fact that she was trying to save money for repairs needed around her house which is pretty old. It was built in the 1930s.

The Heather saga doesn’t make much sense. I guess when Kim asked to go to her graduation that’s when she said she was done with her and wanted no contact. I suspected the husband or some other family member had something to do with her dumping such an easygoing person like Kim. Kim said she didn’t know if it was teenage hormones or what, and then sure enough, she said Heather hates Jim, her husband. She’s been telling her to divorce him for years because he’s supposedly an introvert who’s not social and is non-praising. I guess he talks loud too and Heather is very sensitive and perceives it as yelling.

I don’t know Jim, I don’t know Heather, and I don’t live in the household to see what’s going on but it doesn’t seem like enough of a reason to dump your parents. You dump them because they’re doing the shit my parents did, or worse. So my guess is there’s something more going on, even though she says he’s never been physically abusive. IDK, maybe Heather’s just a spoiled brat.

I’m kind of surprised Kim would go for a guy as she described. She’s always seemed to prefer outgoing guys. Isn’t that why she left Mark; because he just wanted to sit around and not do anything?

Despite her having a depressing few months, it was great to talk to her for the first time in over 20 years. I reminded her that we met 30 years ago. It’s been that long!

She called me while navigating the turnpike to go home. She said she was coming up to an area with bad reception and I said that was no problem because the timer was about to go off so I could have my coffee and she said, “Oh, you’re going to have a cough a cuppee?”

LOL, she remembered the joke that Tracy K, wherever she may be these days, started.

Started watching a limited series called Keep Breathing. It’s good so far. It’s about a girl and two guys that crash in a small plane in the Alaskan wilderness. She ends up being the only survivor.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 4, 2022 So Kansas decided to write abortion protections into their constitution. But if I understand things correctly, they can continue to one-up each other and take away the state’s right to abortion. Also, a federal ban, which would ban it nationwide, is in the works. Remember, it’s not what the people want, but what the people running the country want. So I wouldn’t be surprised if it passed. Each side will keep trying to outdo the other. So even if the federal ban is passed, I think it will continue to bounce back and forth like most people’s rights seem to do these days unless they’re black. After centuries of religious brainwashing, I just don’t see people quitting policing women’s bodies. It’s just fucking ridiculous that people have to make other people’s personal decisions for them.

Galileo says that while the decision to take BP medication is up to me, leaving it high can lead to complications in the future. But like with cholesterol, what are the odds of me actually having those complications, and when? As we know, just because something could happen doesn’t mean it will. And if it does happen, it may not be for 20 years anyway. They asked if I would at least be willing to switch from a wrist to an arm cuff. I hate those things. I don’t know what I’m going to do yet.

I have more to write about, but I’m too tired to do it. I haven’t slept well for the last few days. When stupid me woke up to pee, I figured it was late enough for there not to be any thunder, but I was wrong and ended up getting shorted an hour or two of sleep. We had a dry spell for four or five days until yesterday. So I don’t expect to sleep well until I get back on days.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 2, 2022 Even though I slept for 7.5 hours and got a high sleep score of 92, I woke up tired for some reason. I don’t know why. I’m still waiting an hour after taking my medication.

Last night I went clubbing with all five characters. Amelia is still my favorite. I think my second favorite is Mo. It’s a tie between Miss Aubrey and Hart. Oblio is my least favorite because he’s just boring. It’s true that there are only so many songs, the wardrobe only has so many outfits, and we can’t change the characters’ outfits or “walk” through the club, but it’s otherwise fun. It’s not only a good cardio workout, but it’s like meeting up with the same friends at the same club. LOL

Jess ordered her VR headset, so we should be meeting in the virtual world soon!

Kim and I were going to chat, but she ended up too tired by the time she finished doing everything she was doing. She’s always been a very busy person and never home. She doesn’t want to discuss the Heather situation on Facebook so she’s going to call me. I told her I wouldn’t be up before 8:00 tomorrow.

Loving the new Pretty Little Liars show on HBO. None of the original cast is in it. I love the mystery and all the twists and turns. I don’t like the regular mention of race, of course, and I don’t think teenage motherhood should be promoted either. I’ve always been against the idea of kids having kids and firmly believe teenage pregnancies should be aborted. I’m not going to change that just because today’s society is anti-abortion. Just another one of those hip and in trends that are politically correct, ya know? eye-roll I prefer to do what I believe is right, not what’s “normal” or in style, etc. Kids just shouldn’t be having kids. And neither should those who can’t afford them or have severe psychological problems or alcohol/drug addictions.

Galileo messaged me wanting to follow up with my BP readings and asked if I would take one now. I just did 3 readings and the upper number was 158 the first time and 161 the second and third times. The problem is I just ate. I’ll relax a little longer and take one more reading, and I’ll let them know that I just ate.

Okay, so after a bit, I was able to share a snapshot of the blood pressure cuff with readings of 156/91. I definitely have mixed emotions about this, LOL. They’re kind of pestering me but at the same time, I love it. It’s 2:30 in the morning, so it’s like having a full-time live-in doctor and it makes me feel safer. But I did remind them again that I don’t like to treat anything that doesn’t have symptoms because I’m prone to side effects. I considered lying about the numbers at first, but one of my biggest pet peeves is lying. I hate liars. Pretty little liars, ugly little liars…I hate them all. I used to be more okay with it, but now I won’t lie about anything unless it’s absolutely necessary. It really has to be for his/my/our own good to get me to tell a lie that isn’t exactly white. Casual lies like saying I’m fine when I’m really pissed about something if someone passes me on the street and asks how I’m doing is one thing. Giving doctors false information is another.

This is the second month in a row we didn’t get the Hooter. My paranoid side says it’s connected to Steve, but come on. He can’t possibly be friends with that much of the park. I know he’s tight with someone in the office because of the way they ignored my message, which was rather unprofessional, to say the least. But he can’t happen to be friends with someone in the office and whoever delivers the newsletter, can he? If he’s behind it, what did he expect? Just like I could ask the freeloaders in Phoenix, what do you expect when you’re noisy or you have something that’s loud that your neighbors hear every day, even if it doesn’t go on and on for hours?

My realistic side says they’ve got someone new delivering the newsletters and they’re missing our house. Because we’re at the part of the street where it forms a T, it would be relatively easy to do, depending on the direction of your route. If it was because Steve can’t handle my being annoyed by the barking, then Toni wouldn’t be getting a newsletter either because they’ve discussed it way before I even mentioned it to her.

MONDAY, AUGUST 1, 2022 We’re planning to go to the beach at the end of the week. I was considering stopping writing until then but then decided not to. I like to keep my entries even and consistent and not write in big chunks. I’ll work on my story on the road like I did last time.

Tom really likes the VR webcam and says it’s way better than he thought it would be. Even the difference between a $40 air pump and a $60 air pump is amazing, so he says. He pumped up the tires on the bikes because we want to take them out early tomorrow morning. I still prefer riding when there are fewer people and not much traffic. It will be cooler then too.

We both agreed to give up sugar for a while and I’m going to cut way back on carbs. I don’t want to cut them out completely. That would be very hard to do anyway as it would with trying to cut out all cholesterol. I don’t want to give up potatoes and I don’t want to not put creamer in my coffee since I can’t stand black coffee, but I can trade the bananas in for blueberries and stay away from pasta and bread.

I got a Rosemary plant from Walmart. It’s a nice-looking plant. It’s much easier to chop the needles than it was to chop the basil leaves from the basil plant that died.

Thunder only woke me up twice in July, which is way less than I expected. Let’s see how I do with that in August.

Part of receiving Medicare meant that he could get some free gifts. I think it was $80 worth of health-related stuff, so he got some lotion, dental toothsticks, and some other things. The only expensive thing he got was a new thermometer. I guess this one is easier to use and high-tech. It talks to you and tells you what your temperature is.

Kindle Publishing came through after all, and I received $24 in royalties. So that easily covers my Dance Central app.

I received some shocking news from Kim B even though she didn’t go into detail. Like many people, she’s afraid of Facebook and doesn’t want to say too much there. She won’t even leave audios. I offered to have her call me, but I guess she turned in for the night. I told her she could also go back to the old-fashioned way of doing letters if she wanted. I’m always curious as to what’s going on with her and wish she lived in my town. I really miss her!

So she asked how I was and I told her that I was better and that the anxiety had backed off considerably since we slowly ramped up my dose and that my TSH was coming down. How is she doing, I then asked her and she said that there was quite a bit of drama, but things are settling down. I told her I hoped it wasn’t serious and she said that it was, but she guesses that was just life. I asked if it was OK to ask what was going on and she really surprised me. I thought she was going to tell me something bad happened to her health-wise. Instead, it’s that her daughter isn’t talking to her and wants absolutely no contact whatsoever with her. This really blew my mind because Kim has always been so easygoing. Doesn’t swear. Doesn’t get moody. Doesn’t get emotional or dramatic in any way. So what in the world could she possibly have done to piss off her daughter that much? The only thing that comes to mind is that it’s got to involve her husband. Like maybe he did something to her that she didn’t handle the way her daughter would have liked. Kim has always been tolerant and accepting and isn’t pushy in any way, so if it was something like her daughter seeing someone she didn’t like, she may voice her opinion, but she wouldn’t demand she stopped seeing them. Whatever it was that happened, I can’t believe her daughter, who can’t be more than 20 years old or so, would cut her out forever. Hell, I didn’t even cut my own parents out forever and they were abusive. Literally.

OK, now for the bits and pieces of the dreams I remember. It was one of those dreams where one dream kind of morphed into another, even though they were all part of the same dream. I went to the ER to investigate something. I might have wanted to see if someone was working there. I was by myself and I wasn’t sure I wanted Tom to know what I was doing. I feigned stomach pain to get in.

Then Aly was beside me and she didn’t look well. She said she needed water. I called out to the many people in the room for someone to get her some water. Suddenly we were outside and a cop reached into his cruiser for some water. Still not looking well, I asked her what was up, and then she started listing off a bunch of things about me. Her tone of voice suggested they were things that annoyed her and she was trying to make a point. The only thing I remember her mentioning was that I supposedly wanted to run while drunk. My dream self laughed at this one with confusion because Tom had mentioned me saying the same thing. The dream ended before I could find out whether or not she was going to dump me.

Why are all my dreams of her usually negative? Or just these vague weird dreams? Why can’t I have a dream where she happily tells me that there is no afterlife, or that there is, but it’s so wonderful that she’s actually glad she died at 40 instead of 80 and that she can’t wait to meet me there because we didn’t get to meet in real life?

Then there was another dream where I was staying in a hotel room with my mother. It was a long room that had four twin beds along one wall. My mother was sleeping in the third to last bed by the inside wall. I had been sleeping in the one that was the second from the outer wall in which a corridor ran. I thought of moving to the bed by the corridor to be further away from her snoring but I didn’t want to be closer to the corridor either.

Then I was roaming the property between my first childhood home and my grandparents’ house and wondering what it must have been like for them when we were gone to Connecticut for the summers at our beach cottage. Did they feel lonely with us gone? Less safe?

In the last dream, I was getting dressed up to attend a dinner party. I was unusually self-conscious for some reason and I wanted to get my outfit just right. I had dyed my hair bright red in the past and it had grown out so that only the tips of my hair were red and I thought it looked cool.

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