#how the hell are they gonna show all of this in 8 episode

[monsterdictableau]

Link here.

[breeberrypies]

rbing bc there were too many tags so it wouldn’t show in my art tag. LET ME SPEAK MY TRUTH ABT MY SHOW⁉️⁉️

++(also you guys should totally not pirate this tv series nobody cares about anymore on wcostream.tv)

THEY TOOK VOLTRON OFF NETFLIX.

[sparrow-ceiling]

LUCIFER IN EPISODE 8 POST

because i want to squeeze him like a rubber duck (I WROTE DICK HELP)

OK FIRST CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE PARALLEL TO THE TRUST FALLS WHEN HE CATCHES CHARLIE (TWICE)!!??? Like she trusts him. They love each other. They're gonna be ok. Charlie never set out to do this but in saving all those other people she also saved herself and her dad and i love her for that. Also I just realized they have the same little cheek circles its so cute <3

(help why does Charlie look like Candace Flynn In the first pic-) LOOK at him hes such a short king. He's trying to hide it with that silly little hate but he's fooling exactly nobody.

"I'm going to FUCK you." HES SUCH A DAD LMAO he really thought he ate that one. Also its so silly how his hair part switches sides all the time I love him for that. ((Also did anybody else notice that when Charlie pops in she has her hair tied up and stuff but before and after she's like. disheveled/bloody etc. Probably just a mistake but still interesting.))

ALSO HIS WHOLE FIGHT WITH ADAM IS SO FUNNY why is he so unserious about everything LMAOO. Also bonus look at his slutty little eyeshadow in the first pic (also most of these pictures but its so silly I love it. Also probably necessary to keep the design from being monochromatic) He really gives so few shits about Adam and just beats the hell out of him it's hilarious (honestly giving Alastor-Vox dynamic a little bit but I may be reading into things too much)

ALSO THE DYNAMIC DUO!! They really destroyed that fucker so hard together. PLUS get you a dad that looks at you the way Lucifer looks at Charlie.

ALSO HES SO FUNNY HERE. Hes so fucking confused. And concerned hes just like uhhhh. Awkward wet cat of a man!!!

ALSO THIS IS SO FUNNY LIKE READ THE ROOM MAN. Your daughter and her friends are soaked in blood and you're out here asking who wants to have pancakes (I mean fair enough though. I could use a good pancake after slaughtering angels honestly). But the contrast between them is so funny.

AND LOOK AT HIM HES SO SWEET TRYING TO CHEER UP HIS DAUGHTER. WE LOVE A KIND MAN!!! (Also i just realized he only has four fingers)

Also girl what are these fruity ass stances chill out bro

AND HE TAKES HIS HAT OFF TO SALUTE SIR PENTIOUS AWWW. Hes so genuine about it too <33333

ALSO HIS REACTION WHEN ALASTOR SHOWS UP LMAO. The SASS, he hates that guy so much kdhsjksf

Anyway that concludes my rant about lucifer i love him so fucking much!!

[melefim]

Swearing in Dead Boy Detectives: Charles Rowland

Overview:

46 curses total, 19 different words said in 8 episodes.

Episode 1: 1 Fuck, 1 Shit, 1 Bastard, 1 Piss

Episode 2: 1 Bloody, 1 Bloody Hell, 1 God, 1 Bollocks

Episode 3: 2 Fuck, 2 Ass, 1 Bloody, 1 God, 1 Cunt, 1 Bastard, 2 Sod, 2 Slag

Episode 4: 1 Fuck, 1 Shit, 1 Hell, 2 Bloody, 1 Bloody Hell, 1 Wanker, 1 Sod

Episode 5: 2 Shit, 1 Bloody, 1 Bloody Hell, 3 God, 1 Prick, 1 Knob, 1 Tosser

Episode 6: 1 Fuck, 1 Damn, 2 Bugger

Episode 7: 1 Shit, 1 Bloody, 1 Bloody Hell

Episode 8: 1 Bloody Hell

Curses Per Episode:

Episode 1: 4

Episode 2: 4

Episode 3: 12

Episode 4: 8

Episode 5: 10

Episode 6: 4

Episode 7: 3

Episode 8: 1

Uses Per Word:

Charles’ favorite curse word is Bloody, which he says 6 times! Fuck, Shit, Bloody Hell, and God are all tied for second, with 5 usages each.

Bloody: 6

Fuck: 5

Shit: 5

Bloody Hell: 5

God: 5

Sod: 3

Ass: 2

Bastard: 2

Bugger: 2

Slag: 2

Damn: 1

Hell: 1

Cunt: 1

Prick: 1

Knob: 1

Bollocks: 1

Wanker: 1

Tosser: 1

Piss: 1

Unique words:

Charles had the most unique curse words of any character, with 8 words that only he says: Cunt, Knob, Bollocks, Bastard, Wanker, Bugger, Sod, and Slag.

Edwin and Charles are the only characters who say Bloody Hell.

Charles and Crystal are the only characters who say Prick.

Charles and the Tabby Cat are the only characters who say Piss.

Charles and his ‘friend’ in the group of boys who kills him are the only characters who say Tosser.

Edwin, Charles, and the Night Nurse are the only characters who say Bloody.

Most of Charles’ unique words are British, so it makes sense he’d have so many that no one else says- he’s the British character who curses the most. It stands to reason that the primarily American cast of characters wouldn’t be using a lot of the same words as him!

Percent of Total:

Charles swears 46 times throughout the season, which is 14.2% of all cursing in the show.

Rankings:

Who Swears the Most: Charles is in 2nd place, with 46 times.

Most Curses in an Episode: Charles holds 2 spots on the top 10 ‘Curses per Character per Episode’ list: His 12 curses in episode 3 tie him in 8th place along with Crystal for episode 6. He also holds 10th place for swearing 10 times in episode 5.

Curse Word Variety: Charles has the best swearing variety of any character, with 19 different words throughout the show.

Unique Curse Words: Charles has 8 unique curse words that only he uses, the most of any character. (Cunt, Knob, Bollocks, Bastard, Wanker, Bugger, Sod, Slag)

Individual Words: He holds the top spots for usages of Bloody (6) and Bloody Hell (5). Combined with his 8 unique words, this means there are 10 different curse words that Charles says more than any other character.

Lines:

Episode 1: Edwin, hurry the fuck up! (Gas mask ghost fight)

Episode 1: Piss off, cat.

Episode 1: The little bastards are pretty clever, and their scratches sting like fire.

Episode 1: Look Edwin, you're the smart one, and I'm the one who does shit like this.

Episode 2: Oh my god, here we go.

Episode 2: Bloody Hell. Is this what's gonna happen to Niko?

Episode 2: I thought you said even Aramaic was easy with a bit of study. Bloody read it.

Episode 2: Bollocks! (After he breaks the vessel)

Episode 3: He was such a cunt.

Episode 3: So let's keep the bastard from ever getting his hands on it.

Episode 3: How do we break this bloody loop?

Episode 3: Edwin, don't slag her off just because it turns out you aren't the all-knowing expert on everything, yeah?

Episode 3: I'm just sick of watching this asshole kill his family a million times for no fucking reason. Tried it your way, and it did nothing. Sod it, let's try mine.

Episode 3: Mate, don't slag her off just because it turns out you aren't the all-knowing expert on all things, yeah?

Episode 3: I'm just sick of watching this asshole kill his family a million times for no fucking reason. Tried it your way, and it did nothing. Sod it. Let's try mine.

Episode 3: God, that must have been mental.

Episode 4: Sod it. Can't spy on people without a spyglass, can I?

Episode 4: Bloody cats. You all right, mate?

Episode 4: I've had enough of secrets about that wanker!

Episode 4: What the bloody hell is down there?

Episode 4: I'm also bloody angry.

Episode 4: Every day, I'm fucking smiling.

Episode 4: I sure as hell couldn't stop my dad from beating the shit out of me.

Episode 5: I'm also bloody angry.

Episode 5: With that prick demon and her missing memories, she isn't keen on starting anything.

Episode 5: Oh, bloody hell.

Episode 5: I've got some heavy shit that I need to sort out. I get it. Just… God, I really wanted them to be good guys

Episode 5: You tossers really hurt some people. You were cruel just for the shits.

Episode 5: God, you knobs really don't get it.

Episode 5: Oh god, I'm worried that maybe I'm like Brad and Hunter.

Episode 6: I mean, Monty's our mate and all, but Gladys could have buggered off.

Episode 6: Nasty bugger.

Episode 6: Don't listen to him Crystal, it's just some sort of a mindfuck, innit?

Episode 6: He's wrong you know? You're still pretty damn special.

Episode 7: What the bloody hell was that?

Episode 7: Bullshit. When did you go to school here for reals?

Episode 7: We're going as fast as we bloody can!

Episode 8: Oh, bloody hell. And you're always just popping up. Where do you even come from?

Notes:

Charles’ “I’m also bloody angry” at the start of episode 5 is the same clip from the fight with the Night Nurse at the end of episode 4, remembered as part of Crystal’s nightmare.

Fun Fact:

Charles has the last curse in the show- Bloody Hell at the end of episode 8. (Which bookends nicely with Edwin having the first- Bloody Hell at the start of episode 1)

Updates:

Updated % of total swearing chart to reflect an adjustment to the total.

Added in chart for most curses per episode

Adjusted placement in most curses per episode to reflect a missed god from Crystal in episode 2.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Dead Boy Detectives Swearing Posts:

Masterlist

Swearing by Episode

Swearing by Character

Swearing by Word

All Swearing Posts

And if you like lists of things like I do, you can check out my other Dead Boy Detectives ones here!

When Charles’ Shirt Colors Change

George Rextrew’s Edwin comic inspo board

Full soundtrack with timestamps

Moves, Incidents, and Cases Masterlist

First pass at finding where the songs in the score are used- full post with timestamps in progress

[artists-ally]

I think Harvey would be thw type of person who makes love specially when he’s feeling sad. Like he needs comfort and to be as close to his s/o as possible, fingers intertwined and all that nice shit. How do you think reader would comfort him after he had a discussion with someone of his family?

{Oh, My Human Heart} Reader x Harvey Specter

So my mind went to [SEASON 8 EPISODE 5 SPOILER WARNING] where Harvey went up to Boston to defend his brother against his wife's divorce. That shit crushed my soul man, so this is based on that! Enjoy!! Title is a lyric from this song.

Word Count: 3,191

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, smut, Season 8 Episode 5 Spoilers

Summary: When Harvey returned home from visiting his brother unexpectedly, there is an obvious weight to his shoulders as he slumps inside. And it’s your mission to find out what it is and wipe it from his memory.

Tagging: @kjbg-fantasymoon (your request is next babes <3)

~~~~~~~

The door slammed. Hard. Concerningly hard. 

“Harvey?” You shouted out into the kitchen, taking off the towel from your shoulder and set it on the counter. No one responded. Worry coursed through you, and you grabbed the knife from the cutting board. Just in case. 

Your husband rounded the corner and you jumped, but let the fear drain from your held breath and set the knife down. “Jesus Harvy, you could’ve… hey, what are you doing back here?”

Harvey looked indecipherably pissed. He had hard creases in his face and his lips pressed in that flat line that meant someone was about to see that side of him that meant he was gonna raise hell. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and he let his hands fall to his sides. 

“Okay, okay come sit, love,” You reached for him and guided him to the island. “Do you want to talk about it? A distraction? To be left the hell alone?”

That communication strategy had worked wonders when Harvey came home from a lethal case. All the details you knew about this one involved his brother and a divorce from his wife. It had already shattered Harvey’s heart to hear they were splitting up, but this was… this was rage. Raw fury. 

“I am going to open my mouth and let the floodgates go with it, and I just need you to try and make sense of it. Because for reasons only known by Jesus-fucking-Christ himself can this be possible.”

You just nodded, letting Harvey take some deep breaths. You noticed his hands were shaking. He was shaking. What the fuck happened in Boston?

“Marcus called me up there to represent him for his divorce,” Harvey started, thumbs in his eyes. “He told me that it was because she had an affair. I was ready to go kick down her door and take their kids away myself. Turns out, he lied to me. She was divorcing him because he started gambling again and he told Haley not to tell Katie.”

Your blood ran cold, all remorse leaving your body for Marcus. How could he fucking do that? 

“So, tell me this Yn. Why would my own god damn brother, who I spent my money on to build him a dream restaurant, lie to my fucking face? Not once. Not twice. Four times. Four opportunities he had to tell me and he waited till the last fucking second. I-I can’t even begin to describe how sick it makes me feel to have Haley be put in that position.”

“It is wildly unfair for her, and for their son,” you felt awful for them. They were the sweetest kids and didn’t deserve to have that weight on their shoulders. 

“I mean, was he not apart of the fucking family when mom did that to me? Did he suddenly just show up on our doorstep one night looking for a place to sleep like a stray cat? No, he didn’t. He’s my fucking brother. He was there when mom did it to me. And he saw what it did to our family. What it did to me. He was the one trying to fix our fucking fucked up family. To piece it together after the fall out and he expects me to do the same when he did the one thing worse than practically fucking cheating on her.”

“Harvey I think that's a little-”

“Now he’s destroying his own life. No, not even destroying, destroyed. He has ruined all chances of working things out between him and Katie and honestly, I can’t be fucking bothered to watch it crumble to the ground. And the worst part of it is he had the audacity to ask me to win this case. He doesn’t deserve to win let alone ask me. What a selfish, lying son of a bitch-”

“Harvey,” you placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him from walking away. He had been moving around animatedly, now up out of his seat and waving around. “Take a deep breath. Please.”

He did.

“Good,” You smiled softly. 

He took another. And another. “Sorry… just- sorry.”

“It’s okay,” You came and stood in front of him, hands flat on his chest. “Let’s go and get you changed and we can keep talking through it. If you’d like.”

Though Harvey’s eyes were harsh, that anger wasn’t directed at you. You’ve dealt with him like this on more than one occasion, and you’ve learned to recognize the difference. He didn’t dare look at you the way he is now.

After taking his hand and leading him up stairs, you took your time undressing him so he could be more comfortable. Once upon a time he had told you that the feeling of your hands on him could make him forget anything and everything. It was only in your best interest to do that for him now. To calm him so he could see the full picture.

Starting with his tie, you walked to the closet and hung it up in the empty space from where you picked it out this morning. Much the same with the jacket, tossing his still crisp white-shirt in the laundry. He handed you his belt and shoes, and while you put them away, he took off his dress pants and put on sweats by the time you came back. 

“Better?” You asked, placing his hands across your middle. 

He smiled, “Better.” 

Harvey was still sitting, but he rested his forehead against your stomach, just breathing. With calm hands you massaged his scalp and neck, his shoulders and arms. It was important to give Harvey his space at times like this, letting him speak when he wanted. Otherwise he’d just get defensive and shut down. That was not beneficial to either of you.

“I’m so fucking mad at Marcus, Yn.”

“I know, my love. I know,” You spoke softly, kissing the top of his head. “So am I.”

“I just don’t understand how he could do that after what mom did to me. I thought- I thought we were brothers again.” 

His voice cracked, and you could feel the first tear drops soak through your shirt and cool your skin. Your stomach clenched and dropped. You know Harvey and Marcus have been rocky for decades, but since he forgave his mom and started rebuilding their relationship, things naturally got better with Marcus. 

So much for all that hard work. And you had been so proud of him for taking those steps. And you knew the toll it took on him. Now it was all back at square one. 

“I am so sorry, Harvey.”

“What the fuck do I do?”

You paused for a long while. “I don’t know.”

When he looked up at you, eyes all red and bleary, you wanted to fly to Boston and smack Marcus yourself for putting Harvey right back where he was when he was sixteen. He may not have been the one asked to keep a secret this time, but he knows what it’s like to be in that situation. To feel so pinned and powerless. The looming decision of whether he should betray his mom or dad, a constant threat, and either outcome will ruin the family. 

“Are you up for listening to my ideas or do you still need to get things off your chest?” All you got was a shrug and a few spilled tears. “Okay, there’s no rush.”

“I just don’t know what to do, Yn. I have no fucking clue what I’m supposed to do. I want to beat him into the dirt the most. I want to hold Haley and tell her that none of this was ever her fault and she is not the one to blame. Goddamn do I want to hug Haley right now…”

You had to close your eyes. You didn’t want to see Harvey in this position, especially because you knew what this did to him. It stirred up all those memories and emotions from decades ago. Now they were all at the surface, controlling every one of his thoughts. And there isn’t a whole lot that you can do to get them to stop.

“I think you’re angry.”

“You’re goddamn right I’m angry,” Harvey huffed, making you let out a weak chuckle. 

“And I also think that I know you when you’re angry. And that you don’t think clearly when you are. So, how about we distract you for a while and then we get some sleep. Then, maybe in the morning, we lay it all out again and go over what we know. Look at all the facts and whatnot. Because, despite your very much warranted anger towards Marcus, he is still your brother. And family means more than anything to you, Harvey. I can’t let you spend the next thirty years in regret for not trying. You owe that to yourself. Not anyone else.”

“I don’t even know where to start with all this bullshit.”

“That’s where I come in,” You smiled, sitting in his lap with one leg on each side of his. “Look Harvey, you have every single right to be upset. I am pissed at Marcus for doing that to Haley. But I will not let this drive another cavern between you and him. The two of you have been through enough. He fucked up, and he knows it because you’re Harvey goddamn Specter and you told him he did. But you forgave him once. And you forgave your mom. It is worth a shot to hear him out, and I’m not saying it has to be right away either. Just eventually.”

Harvey’s brown eyes darted around your face, that tight line still on his lips. When you tilted your head and batted your lashes, he sighed out, nodding. “Okay, okay fine you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” your smile made him finally unclench the space between his brows. “It’s because I’m really good at knowing who you are, and knowing how to approach a situation. You’re good at being a kick-ass lawyer and I’m good at taming that kick-ass lawyer.” “You love it when I let that animal out of the cage,” he smirked, hands stroking down your thighs. 

“If you refer to yourself as an animal in a cage again I will walk out that door and spend the night at Donna’s.”

“Okay okay,” he grinned ear to ear, pressing kisses on your cheek, then down your neck. “I’m sorry for being so… hostile. Thank you, Yn. For calming me down.”

“You’re welcome, my love.”

“I don’t know what it is that you do, but you make it all disappear.”

“It’s my secret,” you whispered, kissing his lips. “And I won’t ever tell.”

“I bet I could make you tell me,” Harvey winked and grabbed around your waist, taking you with him when he leaned back. 

“Oh, is that a fact?” “No, but it is a challenge.” 

He tangled his hand in your hair, bringing your mouth to his. He tasted like whatever cheap whiskey he had on the plane and mint. You let your body form to his and didn’t mind the way his tongue found yours. Harvey’s hands were gentle as they peeled away the cardigan on your shoulders, tossing it away to be picked up later. 

He took his time, slowly stripping you and easing you on your back. You wrapped your legs around his waist and needed to have his mouth on yours again. He was such a good kisser. So thorough and precise with what he wanted to do to you. 

And he was always very thorough. 

Harvey placed kisses down your chest, down your stomach and to each hip.

“Babe-”

“Shh,” he hushed. “Just let me do what I want. You just lay back and look pretty. Fuck do you look pretty, my love.”

Your heart melted. Normally he had a wicked, dirty tongue but tonight was obviously different. He wanted something to focus on, and if that was going to be you, then so be it. You surely weren’t going to stop him from spreading your knees and tucking his head to your core. 

If Harvey could do one thing for the rest of his life, he’d sure have a hard time picking between you and the law. While he loved his work, your mind and body were two things even the high of winning couldn’t compare to. Harvey loved you. Ferociously. With every part of his body he loved you. 

His tongue circled your clit, and your hand went in his hair to keep him there. The laugh that tumbled from him was nothing short of star-seeing. One thing about Harvey is if you weren’t satisfied and thensome, neither was he. He loved making you cum on his tongue, loved how you tasted. 

It wasn’t long before you warned him you were close, and he just hummed into you, vibrations making you arch up off the bed, tugging equally as hard on his hair as you did the sheets beside you. 

“I will never get sick of making you feel good, Yn. I love that I am the one who gets to spend these moments with you.”

“Harvey,” you swooned, cupping his face to bring him back up so you could kiss him. Your scent was strong on his lips and made you only need him that much more. All it took was a few impatient grabs at his shirt to make him take it off so you could finally get your hands on that body of his. 

All that time in the boxing gym surely paid off. 

Harvey brough your knee up and pushed it flat on the bed, pulling the other one around his hip. He pushed in, chest to chest with you as he sat still for a few moments. 

“I love you so much, Yn,” Harvey whispered, thumb training down your cheek, your neck. He slid it all the way down your arm and laced your fingers together, kissing them as he pulled back. He wouldn’t leave your lips alone, not that you wanted that in the slightest. He was all soft words and pleas of desperation. Telling you how good you felt.

It was like your wedding night all over again. When the two of you met, it had been in a fury of hands and tongues. All fast because there wasn’t a second to waste when it finally happened. But on your big day, he laid you down, just like this, and worshiped you all night long. 

Every word from his mouth was just him telling you how much you meant to him, his body seconding that omission. He was so dedicated to you, to making you feel good. It was all long, smooth strokes of his body inside yours, the warmth of your combined breaths. Swallowing each other's noises of pleasure.

“I am so in love with you,” Harvey smiled. “I am so fucking in love with you.”

You couldn’t hide your smile if you tried. It wasn’t rare that Harvey was affectionate– per say– but this was an illusive moment. He wine and dined you whenever you asked, you were always his plus one anywhere in the world. But it was these small, yet enormous moments of intimacy that you cherished the most. This was a side of Harvey that took a very long time to bring to the surface. And he too realized the weight of just taking his time and being soft with you. 

“I love you too, Harvey,” you whispered against his face, his mouth now busy with the side of your neck. Harvey couldn’t keep his hips slow for long, and they snapped to yours. Air pushed out of your mouth and right into his ear, right where it drove him crazy to hear what he did to you. 

“Fuck, my love, if you keep making those sounds this isn’t exactly going to be how I-”

“Now it’s my turn to take care of you,” you responded, locking your ankles together behind his back.

A shiver ran through his shoulders and he dropped to his elbows, hips driving into you faster and faster. Harder. It didn’t take him long to reach his high, fucking you through it. His heart pounded underneath his skin so hard you could feel it. A slight sweat at the back of his head where hair met skin. 

When he lifted his head, his eyes looked less… weighted. He looked much more himself. Muc more like Harvey and a little less like Mr. Specter. 

You mentally patted yourself on the back. 

There wasn’t anything you could do to convince him to not drag you into the shower down the hall. The warmth of the water, the heaviness in your body only made his fingers on your scalp that much better. He kissed all over, giving your ass a loving smack when getting out before wrapping a big towel around the both of you. 

“Promise in the morning that we can do this all again and then I can make you a big breakfast?”

“Only if you promise that there will be sausage and bacon,” your eyes were droopy, but the smile reached them anyway. 

“Good thing Postmates will go to the grocery store nowadays,” Harvey slipped one of his shirts over your head, straightening it out over your body. “You look so adorable in my clothes.”

“I know, why do you think I wear them when you’re gone?” “You wear my clothes when I’m gone?” You pff’ed out some air, “Don’t act like you don’t notice the suspiciously large pile of your laundry in the hamper when you come back.”

“I don’t think you know how happy that makes me, Yn,” Harvey’s smile was nothing short of pure adoration. He was never short on pure adoration when it came to you. 

“Yes I do,” You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Why do you think I do it?”

“Because you know me. Really really well.”

“That I do.”

Harvey breathed out, shaking his head. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for something anyone would do for their husband.”

“Well, in my experience, most wives aren’t nearly as observant or as dedicated as you are, Yn. And I want you to know how much I appreciate you and everything you help me through when I don’t know how to help myself.”

Your eyes melted, much like your heart when he hugged you. Nice and tight and just how you liked them. You always felt impossibly safe with him, and his hugs were impossibly your favorite thing in the world. 

Harvey would listen better in the morning. Especially after a good night's sleep. You just hope that all your efforts will lead him in the right direction. And that direction isn’t the clearest right now, and that’s okay. Both of you know it’s okay to not make a decision as big as something like this.

But you know Harvey will try. And that is all you can ask of him.

[spxdyr]

okay look. ill never say 9-1-1 has perfect writing. hell, i might not even say they have particularly good writing. but the one thing the show is, is intentional.

i saw a post talking about all the plot holes in season 8 so far, and to be honest none of them were really holes.

1. where did the bees go? this feels like a silly question mostly because the show literally explained that they were moving with the wind or smth. like the plane emergency was only barely triggered by the bees.

2. what happened to the madney/henren conflict over mara? i saw what they were seeing but hen & chim are grown ass adults who realized the goal was to get mara home. the conflict never needed to happen because madney is having a second baby.

3. why is eddies years & years of repression solved with one conversation? it wasnt. he's still repressed the only thing that changed about eddie in 8x06 was him trying to stop punishing himself for the mistake he made with chris. nothing else has changed. idk what they were seeing with that one.

4. why has denny dying had no longlasting impact on henren? two things with that one. one, this was a buck & eddie focused episode. we got no furthering for storyline for anyone else, that's just how network tv works. two, when has 9-1-1 really ever given us longlasting impact. the closest we got was buck's leg crushing (which technically, at this point, has seen no further repercussions-not even a limp) and the shooting, which was more the emotional repercussions than any physical. lets not jump to conclusions based on an episode that didn't focus on henren at all.

5. and the most important, the bucktommy breakup. if i have to keep beating this goddamned horse about this fuckin breakup im gonna lose it. the breakup was written in the script from the beginning. from the: leaving buck on the side of the road, the dismissiveness around buck and his lil curse. and its not even the dismissiveness, because eddie was also in disbelief about the curse. its about the "your five minutes of screen time is up evan" and the comments about having a team that acts as family when tommy never had that. it was even the distance between at the funeral scene. because if we look back at the other funeral in season 7, eddie was right there next to buck because it wasn't just a buck moment. buck needs that support.

that's it for now

[gartenofbanny]

I'm gonna be straight up, Vaggie is severely underdeveloped as a main character in Hazbin Hotel. One of the major aspects of her character that didn't even get explored was her change of heart towards demons.

As said by Adam, Vaggie was one of his best Exorcists, and since Adam doesn't really mention any other of his Exorcists aside from Lute, it's possible that she was nearly as bloodthirsty and skilled as Lute, but not equally.

However, three years before the events of Hazbin Hotel, Vaggie showed mercy to a Demon child. Lute caught her, crippled her, and left her for dead in Hell. I'll get to that part in an entirely different blog, but what I'm trying to say is that it's just never explored.

Why did Vaggie spare the Demon Child despite being one of Adam's best Exorcists? What caused the sudden change of heart towards demons? Had it been an adult Demon, would she kill it? There are so many questions that could have been answered and given Vaggie more depth if the writers focused on developing their main cast instead of cramming in as many characters and plotlines as they could within 8 episodes.

And I'm not gonna lie..Vaggie really needs more development because she honestly feels like the Millie of Hazbin Hotel. She's more defined by her relationship with Charlie, and the Exorcist aspect of her isn't explored all that much in the series.

As of now, I don't have any rewrite ideas or even ideas as to how Vaggie even made this significant 180. Anyway, that's all for today.

[navree]

I don't doubt it honestly because the broader WB/Discovery company under the leadership of David Zaslav has just made shitty decision after shitty decision (I remember CNN Plus, and also I will never forgive the ten million movie cancellations including my beloved Batgirl). So cutting down episodes shortly before production seems pretty in tune with how the ship has been run, especially since the choice to keep filming regardless of the writer's strike was absolutely a network decision that was always going to negatively impact the season, it's why I and a lot of others were looking at it askance when they said that's what they were doing. Not to mention that the current trend for dramatic/serious/prestige television shows has been eight episode seasons for a couple years now, so HBO/WB/Zaslav/the suits wanting to stay on trend even to the detriment of the storytelling also isn't that far fetched.

It wouldn't have solved all the issues, I stand by my belief that Condal and Hess are not good showrunners, that regardless of writing ability for television episodes, they are not well equipped to actually make decisions on where the broader story should go and command a writer's room to help them get there, because the decisions that they made in that regard just sucked. I maintain that they mostly lucked into being showrunners in the chaos of Miguel leaving and them having written the most episodes of season 1, not because of ability to craft an overall story themselves because the overall storymaking decisions were bad, and that is on them as writers/showrunners, and would have stayed the same no matter how many or how few episodes they had. But issues that have been criticized when it comes to pacing, that it feels like nothing happened this season, that it felt too slow or too drawn out, or conversely like a lot of decisions were happening on the flip of a coin with little build up or explanation, that absolutely would no longer have been a problem if they had an extra two full episodes to wrap up storylines, or even if they'd been informed of how many episodes they were getting from the getgo rather than having to cut from ten to eight in under a month.

It doesn't absolve Condal and Hess of all the myriad ways that made the writing this season so abysmal, and writing has always been touch and go with this show (I've said it a million times but season 1, while it had good bones, was extremely flawed and had a lot of room to be better than it was). But this absolutely made it so much worse, and it tracks with the behavior we've seen from this network and Hollywood as a whole in the past couple of years.

i'm sorry hbo allowed this writing team to plan out a ten episode season until a MONTH before shooting when they cut it down to eight????? and then kept production going when the writer's strike started like two weeks after and kept up for the entirety of the filming schedule??????? i said that filming during the writer's strike was the death knell of this season but oh my god i did not expect to be this fucking right

[ms-cartoon]

I found some Hazbin Hotel Season 2 information and I'm NOT excited for this season? (Don't know if it's official or if they'll stick to it.)

(MY THOUGHT PROCESS READING THE POST)

• There’s an unexpected surprise about Alastor’s backstory (New)

I'm pretty sure that whatever it is, it's not gonna surprise me at all, but you can try.

• Vox is a very big antagonist

Like he should've been in the first season instead of the angels?

• The season will consist of 8 episodes

That's just another way of saying this season is gonna be rushed and crammed as hell.

• Sir Pentious will be an important character

Why?? Cuz he turned into an angel after he died?? They already rushed those two scenes of him dying and being resurrected. I doubt he'll be that important.

• Voice recording for the season has wrapped

Not that I wanna bother watching, but let's hope the dialogue won't be cringe (I'm already jinxing this am I?)

• The season will have more songs than Season 1

VIV PLEASE!!! That is the last thing I want!! Some of the songs are okay, but the way I see it, they do a lot more storytelling than the show itself. We do not need so many songs in an 8 episode season!

• First animatic clip featuring Baxter was released

Yeah I know . . . It was fine.

• Charlie and Vaggie will have their own “sexy life”

Oh no .. . .Vivziepop, Adam, PLEASE! DO NOT ruin the only decent ship in this goddamned show!!

• There will be more of Rosie with the other Overlords

What could Rosie or the overlords have anything to do with the story at this point? Like what is their purpose? I don't think there was even a point in them being the center of that ONE episode. And even if there was a purpose, their scene was so rushed in, I didn't have time to care.

• The season will be bigger and there will be a lot more action

Bigger how? You just said there will be 8 eps.

I bet there's more action than the story right?

• There will be a “fun, sexy song” between Charlie and Vaggie

• More time will be spent in Heaven compared to Season 1

WHY?????

• Alastor’s backstory will be touched upon, but won’t be the main focus

I feel like it should be. Why even bring it up if it's not that important?

• The wait won’t be as long as it took between the release of the pilot and Season 1

Trust me, I'm not waiting.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Random QL Grievances: 2024 Edition

Once again taking @lurkingshan's lead and doing my own version of this one. And in case the word grievances in bold and in the title is not enough of a clue, I will be saying not so nice things about some shows. You've been warned.

"The root of disappointment is expectation" Shows that were promising even before they started or that raised expectations and didn't follow through.

Last Twilight

I had high expectations for this show from the team and the story alone, and they were met until the halfway point, ok maybe episode 8. When it was good, it was really good. But when it turned bad, it turned irredeemably bad. Like I said at the time, this show had a real opportunity to say something about people with disabilities and also class disparity. But the message that one can only be happy when they're abled and one can only be worthy when they have "a proper job" is one that still pisses me off today. In my mind, they broke up not long after and Mhok is happy in with someone else in Hawaii.

23.5 Degrees

Speaking of badly handled characters...This show did so many things wrong, but the one that hurt me the most was what they did with Aylin. Once again, the message is, you need to change what is unique or different about you in order to be accepted and by extent be happy. I hate it.

Wandee Goodday

It started off so strong. A lot of things pissed me off about this show by the end, so I'll just mention the one that still kinda makes my blood boil. The most atrocious case of pair the spares.

The On1y One

More than anything, what pissed me off the most about the ending of this was that I felt like I was manipulated. I felt they purposefully left the story without any resolution, to make sure they got a second season. Because the director was asking viewers to put pressure on whoever, and to talk about the show and sign petitions or whatever the hell it was, while the show is still on, so for me felt like it was all planned. They did a disservice to their own work and their own team by stretching this story and adding elements to make sure it couldn't possibly be told in one season. And I have no issue with planning for a second season, but there are ways to do this and still make the audience feel like they saw a story with a start, a middle and an end. Even if it's an open ending.

I Hear the Sunspot

If you follow me or know anything about me, you know that it hurts my soul to put a jbl on this list. I am in pain. But I couldn't not do it. This was one of the biggest disappointments of the year for me. Not only because it's a jbl, but because from the start it had everything going for it. I still can't believe they managed to so spectacularly ruin this show in its second half. I said enough about it at the time, no point going into it again.

Other 2024 big disappointments :Jack & Joker (not enough bl in this bl), Unknown (that ending), The Sign (what a mess), Love is Better the Second Time Around (in so much pain), My Strawberry Film (it's not a bl but also doesn't know it is).

Other Random Grievances

Biggest Loss of Trust aka #in nobody we trust - Blossom Campus

Strongberry... What the hell? Nothing that strongberry has ever produced before could've prepared me for this mess. I still have no words for whatever this was.

It should've stayed on the shelf -Love is Like a Cat

There was no love and no cat. And they killed the dog. And if that wasn't enough, it was just so incredibly boring.

Worst adaption of a webtoon - Jazz for Two

As it turns out, pretty is not enough. Who knew? But seriously, Korea always gives me the pretty pictures and the pretty people. But this was awful. I read the source material and honestly it baffles me how they could make so many wrong choices.

Biggest waste of a good premise and excellent visuals - Dead friend Forever & 4 Minutes

And they killed Fuaiz TWICE!!!! I'm just gonna assume that his characters will not survive from now on. Anyway. I really loved the visuals of both these shows. But the writing just couldn't measure up. They both stumbled at the end, although I think 4 minutes stumbled way before that.

I think maybe I should stop. Anyway I only included shows I watched till the end, and not ones I dropped.

[devastatinglygreen]

Why do you think they're waiting for the Lady Whistledown reveal?

aside from drama? and i mean that seriously. i know everyone had headcanons and wants for years here but they're building tension. there was no real tension in part one outside of sexual and the stakes need to be higher for the penultimate episode.

the next bit is spoilers we know have been pretty much seen by too many people for ep 5 at least so wander under the cut at your own risk:

i think, and i know a lot of people aren't going to be thrilled about colin not knowing before some things happen, that they need to do two things: solidify their relationship a bit and basically send penelope into a spiral to take the stakes higher.

they have plot armor, they're not going to behead penelope right there in the queen's garden with the peacocks once she gets caught. the only thing truly up for grabs is polin. and not even that, not really, but it's the thing the audience is going to care about.

the spoilers have penelope trying to tell him but failing because she keeps getting interrupted. every time she fails, the clock ticks further. it's a pressure build. eloise is on her back. colin is just wandering along, deliriously happy and penelope knows she's carrying this bomb she's gonna blow up in his face.

she lost eloise to it. colin is the love of her life. i think we can all do that math. she's so stressed out by eloise's timeline she can barely breathe and then comes cressida.

you've got cressida taking credit for LW, colin's happiness sitting on her shoulders (tho i do think it's also so smart of them to have him defend penelope to portia before he finds out, it might give him some insight to how penelope is treated and feels when the right time comes), eloise is assuming things and giving her hell.

i mean, wouldn't you be a mess too? like, give the girl some grace her entire life is imploding right after getting what she's always wanted and never thought she'd get and losing the two most important people in the world to her only a few months before. would you want to blow that up again? yes, yes, i'm sure everyone who says "but she has to!" is very morally outraged and perfectly righteous in their own lives scoffs at the idea that penelope might struggle with a secret she doesn't know what to do with.

it's not like we've never seen how that eats her up before, right? oh. we totally have. nvm.

anyways. cressida. i kind of hope it's the turning point for peneloise because i think even eloise knows she's not a good person to have in a position of power like that. say what you want but penelope doesn't lie in LW.

add in they seem to be bringing in book scenes and i'm going to guess colin catches her after she takes off to print something saying cressida is a whole ass lie. fight ensues. angst! stakes are ridiculously high. the wedding is planned. the pedestals are knocked over and now colin will know everything. does he love her after that? can he? does he trust her ever again? (clearly yes or they're gonna need to change up that family tree thing they released lol).

this will give way to colin having to come to terms with penelope's legacy and how it affects his own estimation of himself and his writing. jealousy like the book. it's a colin issue and he knows it but he still has to deal with it.

colin very much thinks penelope is his purpose, right? the book says it. LN said it about show colin. he's gotta reconcile that LW and penelope are two halves of the same person. he can't put them both in boxes.

anyways what i mean is that the stakes need to be high and her blurting it out then having 2.5 episodes of them moping around about their LW fight isn't really the thing that gets your heart racing when you've got 8 episodes to tell the whole story.

(also as an aside, i think it's going to lead to us getting second "firsts" in a way. it's not going to be a first kiss or anything but i feel like the energy of it all will be different and i, personally, think that could be very fun)

[the-solar-eclipsed]

astral projector watcher gem fanart :D

just gonna put some lore that ive seen + my own twist to watcher gem

gem was a failed experiment in the watcher realm, she was created by the watchers and has no true parents, her purpose was to be the watchers killing machine and they would have succeeded if grian hadn’t broken out of the watcher realm, since the watchers were so focused on hunting grian down the security weakened and gem escaped

the 1.18 lets play was gem trying to learn how to be “mortal” and blend into the world so the watchers wouldnt find her

at the time pearl was still with the watchers and knew gem existed just now who she was specifically eventually pearl escaped the watcher realm when grian came back to save her

gem met xisuma and was invited to season 8 of hermitcraft, which pearl was also invited to because grian introduced her

pearl, grian, and xisuma knows something’s off about gem, but they can’t figure out what it is

obviously then the moon crashed and stuff and season nine came around, gem is much more comfortable as a mortal and almost forgot her past

until she subbed in for cleo in limited life, where she learned the watchers make these death games for entertainment and to harness the negative energy

unfortunately for the watchers they gave her the ability to dimension hop (she is a cannon dimension hopper to those who dont know) and she joined secret life, to the other players she was just added and the watchers just assumed some other watcher added her so they never bothered to ask about it, and then the boogey curse happened and the watchers had no idea that they assigned 1) one of the best killers on the server, and 2) a hell of a good actor this task. unlike other watchers who were turned, gem being a “pure born” watcher makes her essentially immune to any of the curses and magic that watchers use to run the game. it was really difficult, since she didnt actually have the curse she would have to run to the person killed and tell them about the task/how to act, and it worked somehow, she played the act that a curse was spread all around the server and the watchers were none the wiser… except grian, he knows first hand what the boogey curse is like secondhand and firsthand, he knows how people act - violent, careless, and overall just a sense of bloodlust - and gem showed none of the signs. her kills were tactical, there was pain in her eyes every time she killed or influenced a kill. but grian is still really confused with wondering what gem could be he never really though she was a watcher because how could she be? grian and pearl are watchers and they still get really affected by the games (so no grian doesnt know gems a watcher)

its now wild life and gem realized shes going to need to adapt and change otherwise the watchers are going to be suspicious, she does hold a slight grudge on pearl but not as strong as she makes it out to be, the watchers think they’re farming even more negative emotions but they actually are gaining less and less as gem is in the games just because that’s how she is.

of course she is still a watcher and killing still calls to her, which is why even as dark green she helped people when they wanted to kill - so she can collect the energy to eventually stop the watchers and because something in her loves seeing the death happen -

we can also see this with the snail episode, she loves the snail and admires how they’re violent little creatures, saying its a shame they cant be allies - peaking a slight suspicion in the watchers but nothing huge

and back to some shiny duo stuff: pearl is so confused as to why gem is like this, she wasnt like it in secret life and real life and it scares her, theres something so brutal and cold in gems eyes that most people dont see as gem is just the peaceful one who even kept her barn burn down, but pearl can see it - gem is hiding something, which is why she always is trying to bug gem, to understand what, but gem is trying to protect pearl and so she stays cold and “hateful” to pearl whenever she comes by, heck she even is hateful to impulse because she is so scared of the soup group members being hurt

but now the main stuff: her astral projection powers, grian knows what everyone’s powers are, and again, gem is confusing him, he doesnt get why gem has that power, and honestly neither do the watchers, gem managed to give her one of the powers that she normally had when she wasnt in the games, but something in the games restricts her and she just wanted some freedom back, and using the power re-energizes her

to anyone who read all this: thanks! ive been meaning to dump some ideas about watcher!gem since she was already cannon to me but this made it even better!!

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

I’m gonna be honest I don’t understand how people can be hazbin hotel fans and just know everything vivziepop has done and dont care or they choose to pretend they dont know so they dont have to feel guilty about it. Shocking news, you can be INCREDIBLY critical of media you enjoy parts of. I enjoy parts of this show but I’m not going to go buy shit to watch it and support some random lady using a closed religion to make her tumblr sexyman character look “scary”.

I saw someone say vivziepop misgendering someone (allegedly on accident) after getting mad, was a “nothing sandwich” which 1. No the fuck it aint. And also 2. Are you actually off your rocker nuts. I don’t give a fuck if it was an accident heat of the moment thing. Sure you can apologise for that, not me who you misgendered so I cant accept it, but misgendering anyone is never a “nothing sandwich”. Same guy also said that vivzie demonising and appropriating vodou was okay because “Alastor can do it” That… doesn’t fucking matter? VIVZIE can’t practice vodou and neither can her weird red suited deer man, sorry to burst your bubble.

I think everyone thats scrolled even a few inches on my blog (cause really thats all I have) can tell I like Angel Dust. Lots of people like Angel Dust. But apparently half of those people can’t comprehend you can dislike aspects of a character while liking other ones. I mean this directed toward fans by the way. Id sure as hell prefer if he wasn’t fucking fetishised for being a gay man but its vivziepop so literally what can I expect from the lady that makes merch glorifying his abuse. “Yes vivzie! Id love to purchase merch of a traumatic situation ive also been in! Thank you so much for making it look pretty!” I will literally eat glass and drink battery acid before any of this shit actually comes outta my mouth.

It’s so fucking weird how her spin-off show has better representation, humour, writing, and more than her actual main show. Im super glad Helluva Boss is good. Im glad there isn’t any stupid racist representations in there or overly fetishised gay men. Fizzaroli and Ozzie are a cute couple thats written very nicely but even they have elements of vivziepops unsavoury interests that you can see sometimes, but oh my god. Put some of that care into your MAIN show. I am holding out so much hope that vivzie continues the good writing of episodes 7 & 8 so much I am not going to stop noting that, but I am also fully ready to crash and burn from those hopes and that is so fucking disappointing.

[kissorkill16]

Ideas For WTRB Season 3

Me: *pulls out a list*

1. I want Trinity to escape the cell Mr. Peterson threw her into. Obviously, Mr. Peterson took the keys with him, so she couldn't get out by herself. I have a feeling that someone will find her in there and let her out.

2. I don't want the show to do Trinity how it did Nicky. How no missing posters were put up of Nicky. If they do the same thing to Trinity, I'm gonna fucking scream.

3. I want someone to visit Nicky in the hospital! His parents, his friends, anyone! Hell, at this point, I'd even accept it if Mr. Peterson went to visit him. I love him, I just want him to get better.

4. I want the Inventor's Club to get back together, the finale made me sad.

5. I want that bitch Finch to get a redemption arc, because I will absolutely not accept it if she does the same thing she did to Nicky in Season 2 and get off the hook. Thankfully, Finch is confirmed to join the gang at some point in the series, but if she does something bad to Nicky or anyone else in the group, I want her to get punished for it.

6. I want to see more of Aaron and Mya. I know we saw them in "Dark Echoes", but we only saw them and Mrs. Peterson for a split second. I want to see them more, and I also want to hear who their voice actors are.

7. I want proof that Aaron and Nicky are best friends! 13 episodes into this series, and it still hasn't been confirmed that Aaron and Nicky know each other. If you know Tiny Build and have access to their discord, please ask them if Aaron and Nicky are still besties like they were in Nicky's Diaries and the books.

8. I want Trinity's parents to actually change! Especially that Karen mother of hers. They want to send her to boarding school and they wouldn't even listen to her when she tried to explain to them that their family was in danger. You'd think they'd learn to trust their daughter more after she nearly got kidnapped by a psychopath.

9. I want to see Jay and Luanne Roth. I know we saw them in a picture frame in What Do That Clue Do, but that's not enough. I want to see them care for Nicky.

10. I want to hear Diane's voice actor.

11. I want to see the Forest Protectors' downfall!

12. I know this is weird and kind of wrong, but I want to see more of the Shadow Man. I know he's a bad guy, being a manifestation of Nicky's fears and all, but I just want to see more of him.

13. There's a popular theory that Franklin Peterson (Mr. Peterson's older brother) is either the Shadow Man or The Guest. I think he's The Guest, and I kinda want that theory to be proven true.

What do you guys think? What do you hope to see in Season 3?

[melefim]

Swearing in Dead Boy Detectives: Fuck

Overview:

Fuck was said a total of 90 times, in all 8 episodes and by 15 different characters.

Uses Per Episode:

Fuck is said in all 8 episodes of the show, one of only 4 words to do so.

Episode 1: 7

Episode 2: 5

Episode 3: 13

Episode 4: 5

Episode 5: 8

Episode 6: 13

Episode 7: 16

Episode 8: 23

Uses Per Character:

Fuck is said by 15 different characters, more than any other word.

Edwin: 2

Charles: 5

Crystal: 20

Jenny: 18

David: 12

Esther: 6

The Cat King: 6

Tabby Cat: 2

Calico Cat: 1

Litty: 8

Kingham: 5

Brad: 2

Hunter: 1

Twitchy Richie: 1

Girl in Crystal’s Memory 2 (Club Fight): 1

Percent of Total:

Fuck is used 90 times, which is 27.9% of cursing in the show.

Variations:

There are 7 variations of the word used in the show, with the most popular being Fuck, which was used 42 times.

Fuck: 42

Fucking: 37

Fucked-up: 7

Fucked: 1

Fucker: 1

Fuckboy: 1

Mindfuck: 1

Rankings:

Total Uses: Fuck comes in first for total uses, being said 90 times.

Number of Episodes: Fuck is one of only four curse words that is said in all 8 episodes- the others are Shit, Ass, and God.

Most Uses of a Word in a Single Episide: Fuck holds 5 of the top 11 spots.

Most Uses of a Word by a Single Character in One Episode: Fuck took the title here as well, being said 10 times by Jenny in episode 8.

Total Characters: Fuck comes in first for number of characters to say it, with 15 using it throughout the show.

It is one of only two words said by the main trio of Edwin, Charles, and Crystal, the other being Damn.

It is one of only four words said by both Edwin and Charles—the others being Damn, Bloody, and Bloody Hell.

Favorite Word: Fuck is the favorite word of 7 different characters: Jenny (18), David (12), Litty (8), The Cat King (6), Kingham (5), Tabby Cat (2), and Brad (2).

Curse Word Variations: It comes in first for most variations, with 7.

Lines:

Episode 1:

Charles: Edwin, hurry the fuck up!

David: I'll fucking gut you! (x2 while possessing Crystal)

Crystal: It's just a stupid fucking name.

Tabby Cat: Fuck you. I'm not telling you nothing about that house or the witch inside.

Crystal: So maybe he's our fucking demon now!

Edwin: Police don't know what to do with a fucking witch!

Episode 2:

Litty: Little ghost fucker!

Litty: I'm gonna tell you something, because I think you really need to hear it, okay? You should go fuck yourself.

Litty: You know what? You can take that sweater and you can shove it up your ass. Do you have any clue how powerful we are? We are fucking gods!

Kingham: You better hope we never get out of here or we are going to fuck you up, like 'brass knuckles and mace' fuck you up!

Episode 3:

Jenny: It's a super fucked-up story so I'm gonna need some coffee

Crystal: What the actual fuck?

Calico Cat: At least we don't have to go inside. This house is fucked up.

Crystal: Just what the fuck is it?

Litty: Looks like they left you behind because you fucking suck.

Litty: They're all gonna fucking die.

Litty: We were fucking kidding, can't you take a fucking joke?

Litty: Stupid fucking bitch!

Charles: I'm just sick of watching this asshole kill his family a million times for no fucking reason. Tried it your way, and it did nothing. Sod it. Let's try mine. (x2 due to time loop)

Charles: His dad was bad, Edwin. Royally fucked-up bad.

Crystal: I am done wasting my energy on your fuckboy bullshit.

Episode 4:

Jenny: Ok, so you're what? You're just, you're not gonna leave until I explain this even though it's private and go the fuck away?

Tabby Cat: Fuck off. The kid had a sardine.

Crystal: You fucked with my head, I'm gonna fuck with yours.

Charles: Every day, I'm fucking smiling.

Episode 5:

Twitchy Richie: The fuck is this?

Jenny: Oh my fuck.

Crystal: You walk around acting like the sun always shines, and then you lost your shit while beating the Night Nurse. Edwin and I are walking on eggshells around you instead of just saying 'what the actual fuck?'

Jenny: What the fuck, Maxine?

Hunter: Oh, fuck that, you whiny little bitch.

Brad: It's a fucking tragedy that we died, okay?

Brad: What the fuck does that mean?

David: I'm a demon! And I always get what I fucking want!

Episode 6:

Crystal: I want to keep this demon the fuck out.

Jenny: Just like whatever the fuck I am doing is none of yours.

Crystal: It's like he's fucking haunting me.

David: Oh no, I'm so fucking scared.

Charles: Don't listen to him Crystal, it's just some sort of a mindfuck, innit?

David: Why the fuck do you smell so weak?

David: What the fuck did you do?

Crystal: I gave up my powers, OK? I got you out of my fucking head.

David: Now, she's just another fucking terrified lump of human flesh!

Crystal: I am nothing special, So why don't you just leave me the fuck alone?

David: Did you really think that you could beat me with a fucking cricket bat?

The Cat King: Do you hear me? I will stop fucking playing nice!

Esther: Teeth Face, what the fuck?

Episode 7:

The Cat King: Why the fuck are you here?

Esther: I know you blew up Monty's spot, you little fucking snitch.

The Cat King: I don't give a fuck, OK? End of audience.

The Cat King: That was my third life, you bitch. I only get nine. Would you fuck off? Fuck!

Crystal: Fucking bullshit, like I can't help.

Crystal: God, that's fucking insane.

Jenny: Fucking kid.

Jenny: What the fuck?

David: Why the fuck would you even want that?

David: What the fuck did you do? Where are we?

David: Maybe I was just fucking with you.

David: Fuck! Fine, you got your memories back.

Jenny: What the fuck was that?

Esther: You, you.. you think that you're the only one who's ever been screwed over? You're not. I fucking deserve this!

Edwin: That is so fucking stupid, It's unbelievable!

Episode 8:

Girl in Crystal’s Memory 2 (Club Fight): Get your fucking hands off my boyfriend, you slut!

Crystal: Oh, my God. Oh, I'm a fucking awful person. Oh, God, I'm the worst.

Jenny: What the actual fuck?

Jenny: And why the ever-loving fuck is my hair braided?

Jenny: Fuck that! That is bullshit!

Jenny: No fucking way.

Kingham: "No fucking way" to you. "No fucking way" to that side braid. What the fuck is that?

Jenny: Fucking fuck!

Jenny: Screw it. I'd rather know my own life, no matter how fucked-up.

Jenny: Jesus, fuck!

Crystal: Fuck! (Esther has the boys)

Jenny: I figure a meat cleaver can cut up a witch, but what the fuck do I know anymore?

Crystal: Because whatever fucked-up little thing you have going on with Edwin, you must care about him a little.

The Cat King: Fuck me. Did you even listen to my story?

Esther: Oh my God, my own sacrificial knife? I'm impressed. But I'm not fucking around that you're also gonna patch that wall before you die too.

Esther: Who the fuck are you?

Esther: What the fuck? Hey hey hey no! What did you just do?

Jenny: God, that sounds so fucking procedural.

Crystal: I don't have to give up my new fucked-up life while I'm trying to sort out my old fucked-up life.

Notes:

Not included:

In episode 1, Crystal flips off Edwin in the malt shop.

In episode 2, Litty flips off Charles, Edwin, and Crystal with both hands, and then later Kingham and Litty both flip off Edwin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Dead Boy Detectives Swearing Posts:

Masterlist

Swearing by Episode

Swearing by Character

Swearing by Word

All Swearing Posts

And if you like lists of things like I do, you can check out my other Dead Boy Detectives ones here!

When Charles’ Shirt Colors Change

George Rextrew’s Edwin comic inspo board

Full soundtrack with timestamps

Moves, Incidents, and Cases Masterlist

First pass at finding where the songs in the score are used- full post with timestamps in progress

[greenerteacups]

oooh please someday tell us what you think of GOT

oh, no, it's my fatal weakness! it's [checks notes] literally just the bare modicum of temptation! okay you got me.

SO. in order to tell what's wrong with game of thrones you kind of have to have read the books, because the books are the reason the show goes off the rails. i actually blame the showrunners relatively little in proportion to GRRM for how bad the show was (which I'm not gonna rehash here because if you're interested in GOT in any capacity you've already seen that horse flogged to death). people debate when GOT "got bad" in terms of writing, but regardless of when you think it dropped off, everyone agrees the quality declined sharply in season 8, and to a certain extent, season 7. these are the seasons that are more or less entirely spun from whole cloth, because season 7 marks the beginning of what will, if we ever see it, be the Winds of Winter storyline. it's the first part that isn't based on a book by George R.R. Martin. it's said that he gave the showrunners plot outlines, but we don't know how detailed they were, or how much the writers diverged from the blueprint — and honestly, considering the cumulative changes made to the story by that point, some stark divergence would have been required. (there's a reason for this. i'll get there in a sec.)

so far, i'm not saying anything all that original. a lot of people recognized how bad the show got as soon as they ran out of Book to adapt. (I think it's kind of weird that they agreed to make a show about an unfinished series in the first place — did GRRM figure that this was his one shot at a really good HBO adaptation, and forego misgivings about his ability to write two full books in however many years it took to adapt? did he think they would wait for him? did he not care that the series would eventually spoil his magnum opus, which he's spent the last three decades of his life writing? perplexing.) but the more interesting question is why the show got bad once it ran out of Book, because in my mind, that's not a given. a lot of great shows depart from the books they were based on. fanfiction does exactly that, all the time! if you have good writers who understand the characters they're working with, departure means a different story, not a worse one. now, the natural reply would be to say that the writers of GOT just aren't good, or at least aren't good at the things that make for great television, and that's why they needed the books as a structure, but I don't think that's true or fair, either. books and television are very different things. the pacing of a book is totally different from the pacing of a television show, and even an episodic book like ASOIAF is going to need a lot of work before it's remotely watchable as a series. bad writers cannot make great series of television, regardless of how good their source material is. sure, they didn't invent the characters of tyrion lannister and daenerys targaryen, but they sure as hell understood story structure well enough to write a damn compelling season of TV about them!

so but then: what gives? i actually do think it's a problem with the books! the show starts out as very faithful to the early books (namely, A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings) to the point that most plotlines are copied beat-for-beat. the story is constructed a little differently, and it's definitely condensed, but the meat is still there. and not surprisingly, the early books in ASOIAF are very tightly written. for how long they are, you wouldn't expect it, but on every page of those books, the plot is racing. you can practically watch george trying to beat the fucking clock. and he does! useful context here is that he originally thought GOT was going to be a trilogy, and so the scope of most threads in the first book or two would have been much smaller. it also helps that the first three books are in some respects self-contained stories. the first book is a mystery, the second and third are espionage and war dramas — and they're kept tight in order to serve those respective plots.

the trouble begins with A Feast for Crows, and arguably A Storm of Swords, because GRRM starts multiplying plotlines and treating the series as a story, rather than each individual book. he also massively underestimated the number of pages it would take him to get through certain plot beats — an assumption whose foundation is unclear, because from a reader's standpoint, there is a fucke tonne of shit in Feast and Dance that's spurious. I'm not talking about Brienne's Riverlands storyline (which I adore thematically but speaking honestly should have been its own novella, not a part of Feast proper). I'm talking about whole chapters where Tyrion is sitting on his ass in the river, just talking to people. (will I eat crow about this if these pay off in hugely satisfying ways in Winds or Dream? oh, totally. my brothers, i will gorge myself on sweet sweet corvid. i will wear a dunce cap in the square, and gleefully, if these turn out to not have been wastes of time. the fact that i am writing this means i am willing to stake a non-negligible amount of pride on the prediction that that will not happen). I'm talking about scenes where the characters stare at each other and talk idly about things that have already happened while the author describes things we already have seen in excruciating detail. i'm talking about threads that, while forgivable in a different novel, are unforgivable in this one, because you are neglecting your main characters and their story. and don't tell me you think that a day-by-day account tyrion's river cruise is necessary to telling his story, because in the count of monte cristo, the main guy disappears for nine years and comes hurtling back into the story as a vengeful aristocrat! and while time jumps like that don't work for everything, they certainly do work if what you're talking about isn't a major story thread!

now put aside whether or not all these meandering, unconcluded threads are enjoyable to read (as, in fairness, they often are!). think about them as if you're a tv showrunner. these bad boys are your worst nightmare. because while you know the author put them in for a reason, you haven't read the conclusion to the arc, so you don't know what that reason is. and even if the author tells you in broad strokes how things are going to end for any particular character (and this is a big "if," because GRRM's whole style is that he lets plots "develop as he goes," so I'm not actually convinced that he does have endings written out for most major characters), that still doesn't help you get them from point A (meandering storyline) to point B (actual conclusion). oh, and by the way, you have under a year to write this full season of television, while GRRM has been thinking about how to end the books for at least 10. all of this means you have to basically call an audible on whether or not certain arcs are going to pay off, and, if they are, whether they make for good television, and hence are worth writing. and you have to do that for every. single. unfinished. story. in the books.

here's an example: in the books, Quentin Martell goes on a quest to marry Daenerys and gain a dragon. many chapters are spent detailing this quest. spoiler alert: he fails, and he gets charbroiled by dragons. GRRM includes this plot to set up the actions of House Martell in Winds, but the problem is that we don't know what House Martell does in Winds, because (see above) the book DNE. So, although we can reliably bet that the showrunners understand (1) Daenerys is coming to Westeros with her 3 fantasy nukes, and (2) at some point they're gonna have to deal with the invasion of frozombies from Canada, that DOESN'T mean they necessarily know exactly what's going to happen to Dorne, or House Martell. i mean, fuck! we don't even know if Martin knows what's going to happen to Dorne or House Martell, because he's said he's the kind of writer who doesn't set shit out beforehand! so for every "Cersei defaults on millions of dragons in loans from the notorious Bank of Nobody Fucks With Us, assumes this will have no repercussions for her reign or Westerosi politics in general" plotline — which might as well have a big glaring THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT stamp on top of the chapter heading — you have Arianne Martell trying to do a coup/parent trap switcheroo with Myrcella, or Euron the Goffick Antichrist, or Faegon Targaryen and JonCon preparing a Blackfyre restoration, or anything else that might pan out — but might not! And while that uncertainty about what's important to the "overall story" might be a realistic way of depicting human beings in a world ruled by chance and not Destiny, it makes for much better reading than viewing, because Game of Thrones as a fantasy television series was based on the first three books, which are much more traditional "there is a plot and main characters and you can generally tell who they are" kind of book. I see Feast and Dance as a kind of soft reboot for the series in this respect, because they recenter the story around a much larger cast and cast a much broader net in terms of which characters "deserve" narrative attention.

but if you're making a season of television, you can't do that, because you've already set up the basic premise and pacing of your story, and you can't suddenly pivot into a long-form tone poem about the horrors of war. so you have to cut something. but what are you gonna cut? bear in mind that you can't just Forget About Dorne, or the Iron Islands, or the Vale, or the North, or pretty much any region of the story, because it's all interconnected, but to fit in everything from the books would require pacing of the sort that no reasonable audience would ever tolerate. and bear in mind that the later books sprout a lot more of these baby-plots that could go somewhere, but also might end up being secondary or tertiary to the "main story," which, at the end of the day, is about dragons and ice zombies and the rot at the heart of the feudal power system glorified in classical fantasy. that's the story that you as the showrunner absolutely must give them an end to, and that's the story that should be your priority 1.

so you do a hack and slash job, and you mortar over whatever you cut out with storylines that you cook up yourself, but you can't go too far afield, because you still need all the characters more or less in place for the final showdown. so you pinch here and push credulity there, and you do your best to put the characters in more or less the same place they would have been if you kept the original, but on a shorter timeframe. and is it as good as the first seasons? of course not! because the material that you have is not suited to TV like the first seasons are. and not only that, but you are now working with source material that is actively fighting your attempt to constrain a linear and well-paced narrative on it. the text that you're working with changed structure when you weren't looking, and now you have to find some way to shanghai this new sprawling behemoth of a Thing into a television show. oh, and by the way, don't think that the (living) author of the source material will be any help with this, because even though he's got years of experience working in television writing, he doesn't actually know how all of these threads will tie together, which is possibly the reason that the next book has taken over 8 years (now 13 and counting) to write. oh and also, your showrunners are sick of this (in fairness, very difficult) job and they want to go write for star wars instead, so they've refused the extra time the studio offered them for pre-production and pushed through a bunch of first-draft scripts, creating a crunch culture of the type that spawns entirely avoidable mistakes, like, say, some poor set designer leaving a starbucks cup in frame.

anyway, that's what I think went wrong with game of thrones.