#how that felt so validating
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something about finding the people who sit through your info dumps with joy on their face and enthusiasm for your passions. something about finding the people who info dump right back at you because they know you love hearing about their passions. something about finding the people who manage to sum up your being in one niche, oddly specific sentence that lives in your mind rent free for the rest of time. something about finding the people who not only accept you for who you are but embrace you for who you are. who not only tolerate your quirks and differences but love and cherish them.
#i’m in my feels today if you couldn’t tell#just thinking about one friend in particular who i don’t get to see in person nearly enough but i text all the time#idk it’s the little things#the way we send each other videos of ourselves explaining whatever we’re learning about right now#the way we don’t write it in a long message because the emotion and vibes don’t translate properly#the way he’s told me that the way i dress is so gender nonconforming in his eyes#how even though i’m afab and i wear glittery makeup and crop tops and have pink hair#i still look so queer and so gnc and so Not Girl in his eyes#how that felt so validating#how i could feel the genuine love in his words#how he told me once that i’m ‘not a person with lore but rather a person with a schtick’#and how he explained to me what my schtick was and how accurate it was#how he told me he can’t wait for me to get my degree(s) and be an openly queer person in stem#how he can’t wait for me to defend my thesis sometime in the future and be wearing the brightest makeup and the biggest earrings#and the tallest boots#how he loves that i go to my chem lab every week with glitter on my eyes#how it’s cool that i don’t care if i stick out like a sore thumb because i’m me#i remember how he dropped the she/her pronouns immediately upon ne saying i didn’t really vibe with them#(even when they were still technically on my list of ‘ok to use pronouns’)#how his boyfriend who i don’t know very well has always they/them-ed me because my friend does#and if my friend is doing it then it must be the right thing#idk i just love my friends#and this friend in particular is someone i’ve gotten really close with over the past 6 months or so#and i’m so glad to have him in my life#platonic love#friendship#tell your friends you love them
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Calypso and the Pink Unicorn's pirate drag show !!!!!
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[PRINT] - [COMMISSIONS]
Wee john served so hard it should be illegal 16 dead countless injured, I am dead Calypso was so hot
Process (and my french rant on why I hate the choice of la vie en rose) below vvv
Final without the text
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Rough colors
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Sketch !
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Sorry english people, but what follows is too french an opinion to voice in english (I'll sum it up for u in the end <3)
Ok alors je suis désolé, Con o'Neill chante vraiment très bien ca n'a rien avoir avec sa performance, mais vraiment la vie en rose c pas possible. Le man est sur les champs Elysées a me vendre des tours Eiffel en plastique jpp- Franchement pipe et jambe de bois ca serai mieux passer. Ou les demons de minuit !!!!pourquoi pas les demon de minuit ?????? Chanson hyper connu française. Ok c moins cucu que la vie en rose, mais bonus point plus kinky (je pensais jamais decrire les demons de minuit comme etant kinky mais here we are-)
Ou juste n'importe quoi d'autre-
(And words of wisdom from my evil advisor @quijicroix : légende vivante (de Lorenzo) ça va avec tout. Ou une chanson triste de jul (pas bande organisée, tu peux pas ken dessus). Après tout le monde déteste la police ou nik le front national c les chansons les plus romantiques que je connaisse. Y a santiago aussi, avec le gros mat la. Les trois mâts, pour le steddyhands.)
Tout sauf la fucking vie en rose pitier (meme si, encore une fois, Con o'Neill la chante vraiment bien)
Welcome back english people ! To sum it up : la vie en rose is a french song for tourists that set up a fight or flight reaction in every native speaker. I'm glad people enjoyed this, but I cannot describe the cringe and disappointment I felt when they decided to have him sing this song- (even tho he sings it beautifully (which is part of the disappointment))
They are SO MUCH love songs in french, why this one.
PS : at this point (ep7) I don't know why Stede is still bothering with Ed "I'm hitting the banks didn't tell him which one" teach, when Izzy hands is right there ????? Sir please open your eyes
#I've never felt so validated by a show in my life#eat shit izzy haters !!!!!! How does it feel to loose this hard ?? hehehe#If you saw me post this with a huge typo in the title#No u did not#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd spoilers#ofmd season 2#ofmd s2#izzy hands#wee john feeney#wee john ofmd#izzy hands ofmd#drag show#drag queens#ofmd s2 ep6#pirates#digital painting#illustration#art#my art#digital art#fanart#ofmd fanart#israel hands#prints
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i wrote up this whole rant yesterday about how I didn't find the Solas arc satisfying in this game, and seeing the ama and interviews today, I think I understand why that is lol.
yes, Solas carried this game. Yes i loved every time he was on the screen. yes his arc made me cry. NO it was not satisfying. and i'm just gonna go ahead and copy paste my rant explaining my feelings the best i can.
(i wrote this yesterday before all the revelations)
Solas's writing wasn't successful to me not because I think he was written out of character, necessarily. I think that every individual instance of his character being written on-screen was fine, but to me, his character was missing the wider context that put the isolated actions we saw of him in the game into perspective
The entire point is that the Dread Wolf/Fen'Harel persona that we see is a mask he wears. And that's fine, I like it! But what makes a mask interesting is to see what it's masking, and Rook doesn't really get to see that unless you choose the reedem ending. I guess what I'm getting at is that I craved to see more Inquisition-style Solas, in particular Trespasser Solas who was so remorseful but stuck in his ways, who stuck to his path but said stuff like "I would treasure the chance to be wrong once again, my friend." All these different sides are real sides of Solas, but because the game didn't really show us all these sides then we're left with a lopsided picture and now I have to deal with all these fools misinterpreting him all over the internet
I can still interpret it my way well enough, but the thing is that's my interpretation and it's a valid interpretation of the source material itself, but other people's interpretations are also valid because the game didn't really get more into his motivations other than "it's all mythal." But if you go back to inquisition, you can see how passionate Solas is about his ideals! His banter with other party members and his approval and dialogue you get with him really suggests that he actually CARES about his goal at an idealistic level, it's not just about regret. I like the regret! I like the history with Mythal!! I just wish it was more of something in his backstory that shaped him to who he is today and is something he needed to work through in order to finally see things clearly, instead of being the one magical thing that had to happen for him to get his "redemption"
I'm also rather frustrated that the right answer was just going straight back to the status quo, when we KNOW the veil is falling apart and shattered and an unnatural wound inflicted on the world that turns spirits into demons, prevents the world from achieving the magical/technological wonders it once had, keeps elves from immortality, and creates this fear and class difference between mages/non-mages and people who understand the fade and those who don't. Like when I replayed Origins i was struck by how many plot points are basically "the veil is weak here which means that there are demons here and they killed hundreds of people!!!!!!" Things like that are still going to be a problem hello why was none of this addressed 😭😭😭 I wish we could've validated the problems Solas's plan resolved to fix instead of saying "you just need to move on man this is just you taking your issues out on the world" because it WASN'T THAT
'm also really frustrated that we don't see a SINGLE big plan of Solas's go right because I know my man, I BELIEVE in my man, I know that he was smart and clever and had wins!!! I don't mind him fucking up but when all we ever see of him are major fuck ups it annoys me because COME ON. He's the DREAD WOLF. He knows how to make plans and carry them out. He saved thousands of slaves during his time, he fought and won countless battles, he locked away the Evanuris! Sure things fell apart in the actual veil part but he was able to trick all of them and did succeed in locking them away. The only thing we actually see him accomplish in this game is escaping regret prison, which is instantly seen as less cool because Rook gets out after like five minutes, and taking down the archdemon which was pretty hot but that wasn't about trickery, that was him engaging in straight up physical fighting in his wolf form. Anyway it frustrates me because now people in the fandom can rightly laugh about him being stupid and having bad plans. Yet I can't help but go back to inquisition and listen to his advice, dialogue, etc, and he's always so thoughtful and wise! So i just find it hard to believe that this man is incapable of taking a win. even if he kept all the Ls in this game but they had included a few more wins i wouldn't even be mad but it was literally just a collection of Solas's Ls and it frustrates me because I think he's better than that
i'm just worked up about this because i've been seeing takes about solas from people who used to like him but this game made them hate him, and the fact that the source material from datv as an isolated game actually supports their perspective is driving me insane. cuz if you ask me a lot of solas's character and motivations between dai and datv are actually at odds with each other. even if the surface characterization is absolutely on point, there was just so much context and scope that we're missing in this game. i can't handle it
#crazy how i know all the reasons as to why i felt this way now#it's because the creative director intentionally didn't want to validate solas's reasons!!!#he wanted to write him like a boring villain you're not supposed to like!!#so they sanded away his nuance!#the reason why his motivations feel different between the games is because they ARE different#ugh save me solas dai save me ilysm#solas#datv critical#datv spoilers#dragon age#bioware critical
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i was pregaming with the boys and my buddy tyler started going off on how cold it was gonna be that night, ribbing me for not bringing a jacket cause "man, you aways get cold!"
i offered to run down the street to my place to grab one, and he just stared at me like an idiot. "why do that when you can just borrow one of mine?"
i thought he'd just toss me one of his hoodies, but he ushered me back to his room and had me try on his leather jackets, watching me like a hawk and critiquing their fit more to himself than to me. "Nah, that one makes your arms look small," "this one falls on your hips weird", "you're swimming in that one, lol".
when he found one he approved of, he pointed me to a mirror in the living room where the rest of the guys were waiting. in my reflection was just some guy. just some guy, standing around with just some other guys, drinking beers and laughing at youtube videos. no too round shoulders or too wide hips or too long sleeves to give him away.
i locked eyes with our buddy jason through the mirror as drove his knuckles into my scalp and smiled, "That's our fucking boy!"
#forcemasc#actual shit that happened tho#ftm#cis bro validation#i love my fuckin boys so damn much#non-sexual post#just cant gush about how good this felt irl
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Nature of the Arcane- Positive and Negative Energy
(For reference, Arcane = the series; arcane = the magic) Come help me figure out how the heck the magic system of Arcane works.
What is the anomaly? Why was it born? Why is it that other mages in the series don't seem to cause anomalies, but Hextech does?
I refuse to be content with a magic=good or magic=bad explanation, and Arcane loves to play with nuance. I was trying to sort out my thoughts on why some magic has bad side effects while others don't, and this is where I'm sitting now. My (spit-balled, half-baked, and probably leaking) thesis:
The arcane/using magic has 2 separate outputs: the order you placed (Hextech) and the resulting exhaust (wild runes; the anomaly). Hextech can use runes to control magic, but there's a second output of natural, wild magical energy, that Hextech doesn't account for. Both of these energies can build up, and when they're reunited, they have explosive reactions (see: Mage Viktor's world, the final blip that takes Jayce and Viktor, and possibly various smaller explosions throughout the series).
For example, when positive and negative charges meet, lightning strikes.
Justification below the cut.
Science break! Ever been shocked by static electricity? That's because of a buildup of one charge, say positive, on you, and a buildup of negative charge on another object. Nature loves balance, so when you two touch, the charges discharge in a shock that connects the positive and negative charges and allows them to balance out. Size this idea up big enough, and you get lightning- powerful, fast, and destructive.
More importantly though, you can't just charge positive energy, without also charging negative energy at the same time- creating one by necessity creates the other, so that there's an overall balance of electricity types (hey look, a metaphor, creating one inevitably leads to the other…).
Let's carry this idea over to the arcane. What if there's a 'positive' magic and a 'negative' magic output?
(Note, I use the electricity words here intentionally- positive/negative do not mean in a cosmic/moral/ethical way, but in a scientific, 'hey we need 2 connected words to separate these concepts' sort of way.)
Positive: Hextech; runes; the intended output. Teleportation, levitation, everything we see it accomplish.
Negative: the wild rune, the anomaly; the unintended output.
And, when the two come together, lightning strikes.
Lightning 1- Viktor vs Ekko's Z-drive. Viktor spends S2 becoming a centralized conduit of 'positive' magic, via the Hexcore and top ups from the crystals under the Hexgates. As the Machine Herald, the claw is continually using runes and doing magic behind him. In short, he's been building up a lot of positive magical energy. When Ekko chucks the Z-drive at him, it's powered by an anomaly, or 'negative' magical energy. Put the two forces together, and let the fireworks happen; a part of the Machine Herald's mask gets struck off in the blast. (But the Z-drive has less negative energy than Viktor's positive, so it doesn't totally wipe him out.)
Lightning 2- Viktor and Jayce's rainbow time. Jayce's acceleration rune might be the negative magical energy in this case (since it travels with him via Mage Viktor's anomaly), paired with the anomaly that Viktor grabbed beneath the Hexgate. That works in opposition to Viktor's compiled positive magical energy via the Hexcore and similar products. With these together, the balance between positive and negative is reached, achieving net neutral magic dispersion, and of course, an implosion that sucks in (or teleports, we can be happy) Jayce and Viktor, ending the conflict.
Perhaps in Mage Viktor's timeline, a similar explosion occurs, resulting in the destruction that we see Jayce traverse in the alternate timeline. But in the main timeline, Jayce and Viktor were able to contain that explosive potential to just themselves, via Jayce's acceleration rune.
"Pass me a tome" Jayce's (quoting Viktor) explanation of the anomaly/wild rune (S2:E3)
Jayce says that Viktor theorized that wild runes are "patterns that would occur naturally where the border between our world and the Arcane is thin." By the theory, wild runes are expressions of magic not quantifiable by traditional runes- natural outputs of magic that are uncontrollable and untamable.
This still works with my positive vs negative theory- it's just that Hextech, and by extension the boys, are only viewing it from the perspective of positive energy (they accessed magic, but really only half of it). From that view, negative charge, which they can't interpret why it's building up or that it even is, might look pretty wild and untamable- however, we see mages control this negative magical energy. Mage Viktor uses the anomaly to send Jayce back to his timeline. The Machine Herald is able to transport it and start to destroy/convert the world.
Because it's still a useable product, so long as you understand what it actually is, I'm not fully content to say that the anomaly is an entirely wild thing, or an unpredictable force. It's possible that Mage Viktor intentionally manipulated it to send Jayce, Ekko, and Heimerdinger to their temporary alternate universes to set in motion events to save the main timeline. I think the anomaly definitely has somewhat volatile characteristics, a bit more chaotic perhaps, but it's still controllable.
(Additionally, Ekko breaks time using both hex shards (assuming they're still in the Z-drive, I'm not sure off the top of my head), and a tiny anomaly. The fact that he's able to control it to a degree also shows that the anomaly is not fully wild and untamable.)
I suppose my overarching feeling is that the anomaly is not necessarily better or worse, or more dangerous, than the 'positive' magic of Hextech- it's just a different, inevitable byproduct of magic use.
Then why don't mages cause anomalies and 'lightning strikes'?
Simple- they know how to account for both positive and negative energy in their spellwork. They know how to equate a balance, so nothing blows up in their faces.
Granted, the only mages we really see in Arcane are Mel, the Black Rose, and Mage Viktor, and the only real discussions we get about magic is from either the Hextech nerds or Heimerdinger, who may not be working with the full picture of how the arcane works. Our sources with regards to actual mage work in Arcane are pretty thin (and I probably need to rewatch Mel's S2 scenes).
But the Black Rose mentions as Mel leaves that (paraphrased) 'it's a dangerous world out there for a solitary mage.' This seems to imply that mages work best in collaboration- perhaps that allows for a balance between positive and negative energies, preventing 'lightning strikes.'
The real point- The Need for Collaboration
While the obvious theme to be drawn from this is the need for balance, another interesting one is the need for collaboration. If mages in Arcane indeed do work together to prevent destructive magical fallout, this again points back to a core element of Arcane's relationships:
Things (magic in particular) work best in collaboration.
That's how the boys crack Hextech
That's how Jinx and Vi start to bring Vander back and reconcile
That's how Viktor and Sky work in the commune
That's how Ekko, Powder, and Heimerdinger crack Hextech again
That's how Caitlyn and Ambessa start to work, and how the lack of honest collaboration exposes Ambessa's selfish gains and weakens Caitlyn emotionally and politically
That's how Mel literally does everything politically (and why her arc narratively suffers when she's on her own against the Black Rose for so long [I still love her tho])
That's how Piltover and Zaun fend off Ambessa's assault
That's how Viktor and Jayce end it- together.
More assorted thoughts on this topic:
This theory somewhat requires that the arcane is not conscious, not retaliating for Hextech using magic improperly, which is debatable. The Black Rose says "the arcane is waking up," which could imply a sentient force, or simply a natural force like how the world 'wakes up' to spring after winter. Ekko also claims that Jayce 'pissed off' the arcane, which Jayce is cutely embarrassed about, which is a possibility, but not one that I'm getting into here- it's entirely possible that Ekko is also wrong! Jayce and Viktor frequently are! (also, the hexcore being sentient does not necessarily mean that the arcane is sentient- Viktor describes it as a learning matrix, so it could very much be a Flubber situation. He done taught the rubix cube science before ethics.)
As Viktor brings Jayce up to the top of the Hexgate, Viktor winds the anomaly in his staff and talks about the balance between order and chaos- maybe positive magic is one and negative the other?
@avelera and @linddzz were throwing around some awesome thoughts similar to this strain, including how it looks like Mage Viktor 'cleans up' the smoke output of the spell in the snowstorm. Their theory is that what I call positive and negative energy is actually constructive vs destructive force in equal output from the Arcane, and that balance between those two types is needed (i.e. if you want magic to do what you want, you also need to let it blow up some stuff) which would also explain what I've called lightning here. Definitely worth a read!
There are so many holes in this theory, but I still wanted to organize my thoughts about the anomaly, Hextech, and how Arcane tells the audience to view magic. In S1, Hextech is all good and great, possibly dangerous, but in S2, Hextech and its byproducts are all infectious, destructive, and never productive. I found the switch a little jarring, and went searching for a deeper meaning.
Also… does this mean that Arcane is actually a big metaphor for the dangers and impacts of technological advancement on natural society and how Mother Nature will come back to bite us all in the butt? Has Arcane been a secret Ghibli film all along???
#arcane#arcane meta#viktor arcane#jayce talis#ekko arcane#I guess I'll tag#jayvik#Since I know fic writers are having the same questions as me#hextech#hextech meta#mage viktor#If you've got thoughts to expand on this please be my guest#I need not validation I just need this out of my head#I just felt so weird about the way they treated magic S1 vs S2#Like I want the magic to be fun and cool whyyyy is it moldy and infecting things! it makes me sad!#Yes I understand that it's part of a greater nuanced conversation about how progress today can mean destructive impacts on tomorrow#Because Arcane is usually good at nuance#But I want happy magic time!#And I don't dislike that Mel is a mage#it just seemed kind of sudden and very underexplained#But she did get a great fight scene as a mage tho!#Give my girl more political manipulations to be doing!
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Smitten rambles [again]
Thinking of the lead up to HEA again, you tell the princess you want to stay in the cabin to compromise a middle ground, the princess uncomfortably tells you that thats fine because it is what you want and smitten starts freaking out because it cant be that the princess is unhappy about staying with them, can it?, the thing im most interested by is the fact that he inmediatly starts finding a culprit about this, it has to be someone else it has to be the cabin itself and he tries to find solutions of how to remedy that, but when this happen what i genuinely thought would happen was smitten was going to blame himself about it but instead he tries to find any other reason than himself to blame, because his fantasy of the knight in shining armor rescuing the princess cant be the problem, right?, this is such insane rambles by now but I would like to think that smitten thought that he can't be the problem after all he only wants to make her happy but if the problems is him then what can he do, if the princess wants something from him that he can't give then what is he supossed to do, no he has to show her what he is, maybe if he showed her his feelings, how much he loves her, how he truly feels about her, maybe she will realize that he can be enough for her the way he is now and that she can be happy with him
Now im rambling into probably headcanon territory but I truly don't think smitten (and honestly the other voices as well but this a smitten ramble) doesn't know how to change himself or atleast doesn't even want to think about it, since theyre shards of TLQ theyre also stagnant like him, a facet of his self but as we can see with other voices (for example broken on apo with paranoid and hero) they can manage to change their view or atleast broaden their perspective about things, but smitten seems fixated on the fact that he can't be the problem if the princess is unhappy because he doesn't know what do in that scenario, he has to show her his feelings, the contents of his heart so that she will realize that she was wrong, that there is nothing wrong with him and she can make her happy still, this also comes with how little smitten thinks of himself, he has no self preservation when it comes to the princess and would do anything for her even if its for his own detriment but if it makes her happy then hes happy.
#owltalk#stp#stp voices#stp smitten#I WROTE THIS IN A DOC SO THATS WHY ITS ALL IN NO CAPS BUT MY GOODNESS DOES THIS LOVE BIRD MAKE ME THINK#ALSO MY APOLOGIZE IF THIS MAKE ZERO SENSE IM NOT A GOOD WRITTERI JUST RAMBLE INTO THE VOID USUALLY#ANYWAYS#I JUST LIKE THINKING ABOUT BIRDS#EDIT: SIDENOTE I CANT IMAGINE HOW FUCKING VALIDATED THE SMITTEN MUST HAVE FELT WHEN THE PRINCESS LOOKING AT HIS HEART TOLD HIM#“ITS BEAUTIFUL...” I IMAGINE HIM WITH THE HAPPIEST GRIN ON HIS FACE AS SHE SAID THAT BEFORE BECOMING THE SHADOW SELF
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anyway to end the series on ganondorf tp's writing, my take (which isn't canon but arguable as a valid "death of the author" read imo) is that he is at his most iredeemable AND that's because he has zero things left to lose and no community left and his goal doesn't even make sense anymore he is parasitic and a ghost and pathologically obsessed by his own godlike legitimacy because that is the only thing he still has and it has prolonged his life in a horrible diminished state in a nightmare dimension so SURELY it must mean something right right RIGHT
#thoughts#twilight princess#tp#tp ganondorf#ganondorf#sorry I am quite frustrated by the Discourse#there is a middle ground between evil bad evil bad and uwu baby!!!!!!! and it's the most interesting reading!!!! aaaaaa#even him not mentioning the gerudos being immediately taken as him not caring about them is veeeery frustrating to me#like#imo the three arguable arguments about what happened to the gerudos are#1) they left hyrule because fuck that shit (real and valid) and he would have felt betrayed#2) they collaborated with hyrule to subdue him (??? that seems weird to me but sure why not) and he would have felt BETRAYED#3) they were genocided because they stood by him#and of course we could assume he doesn't care (even if he drapes his execution sword in gerudo patternings which)#(not gonna lie is probably artists not really paying attention to motives but it's still interesting and noticeable)#but wouldn't that be like. deeply traumatic either way.#would you talk about your people to the enemies you hate. would you remind them of what they took from you#in ww they are children and he is old and had time to reflect#in tp he suffered nonstop and then rejected all connection and all community and is feverishly obsessed by what almost was#and they are not children there is no generational thing happening they are all royalties (and link!!! hi link!!) the beef is genuine#and EVEN IF he doesn't care that would at least be a massive wound to his ego#he had an ego collapse followed by a massive ego surge that's literally his canon character arc#so of course he would be weird about the gerudos!! how could he not be weird about the gerudos!!#again we are always assuming lack of interiority by default for ganondorf and that annoys meeeeeee#especially when there could be unbelievably interesting and tragic interpretations from what we get
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the dead boy detective agency main four are a polycule on various points of the aromantic/asexual spectrum (in addition to their various sexualities), with the various side characters playing the roles of parental figures or talking stages. thank you for coming to my ted talk
#it’s like scooby doo but they don’t have a dog#this is of course just my opinion#but: gay ace demiaro edwin / bi demiaro charles / pan greyaroace crystal / lesbian aroace niko are v real to me#the older characters work as parental figures ofc#then there’s characters like Monty and Thomas who are chatting up edwin but aren’t officially in the polycule#that being said: achillean greyace monty / pan aroflexible thomas are also real to me#this isn’t even getting into the gender fuckery I am putting these characters in#but I felt like sharing#esp since I keep seeing ppl fight over catwin and palaland or whatever that ship name is#I don’t think catwin works not bc of some perceived age thing but bc the cat king is v sex forward and edwin is Not Into That#doesn’t mean tck is ruled out from a place on the chart it’s just not how he wanted#same for monty who came on v romantically and edwin was not having it#all valid and fair !!!#plus the main four needed to get their shit together but this is my fantasy world so shhh#oh and for crystal x charles I think they’re the most allo of th main four so it tracks they had the closest to a traditional relationship#but then everyone gets their shit together and that doesn’t happen as frequently lol#esp as time goes on#like the polycule is more of a series of qprs with some sugar/spice on occasion#there isn’t really a point to this post but this blog is me talking to myself most of the time anyway#dead boy detectives#dbda#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#monty the crow#the cat king
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the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.
being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.
it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.
so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.
#gorgug thistlespring#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#btw these r just my personal opinions u r 100% free to disagree#gorgug & his rage interest me so deeply because of how deeply that rage existing seems to be against gorgug’s own will#like mechanically classes are choices & you can switch stuff around any time. but gorgug as a barbarian always felt like an unwilling choice#like that 14 y/o kid did not want to have rage. & that really interests me.#i’ve seen people before be like ‘what if gorgug dropped barbarian & went full srtificer’ but i feel like that simply can’t happen??#mechanically yea sure but it always felt like a core part of gorgug that the rage will always be there & it’s a matter of how you channel it#idk. dnd classes narratively being treated as ‘you can not lose this part of you’ even though you technically can#gorgug could be lvl 19 artificer & he’d still have 1 level of barbarian. because that is part of who he is.#btw i don’t think porter truly cares about gorgug valuing his rage only as a way to be a human shield#i think porter just sees that as ‘wrong’ but like. not as in ‘you need to take care of yourself’ & more ‘you aren’t conforming’#he thinks it’s wrong for the wrong reasons. the nastier ‘this is how you should be’ reasons#ppl being like ‘we r being too hard on porter. it’s an 150% courseload gorgug will be overwhelmed’ i think r missing the point bc like.#that is 100% a valid reason to not approve gorgug for multiclassing! but that’s also 100% not the reason porter rejected him.#that whole interaction was basically porter shoving his percieved version of conformity down gorgug’s throat. was v neurodivergent kid coded#no hate to anyone saying that last point btw these r all just opinions#thinking about last ep wilma & digby being like ‘you’re a great barbarian. you’re so great at it. but look at what you made!!!’ like.#they would never mean it like that. but when you only understand half of your son he is going to prioritize the half you do.
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I just. What do you think was going through his mind when his car exploded into pieces in front of him and the piece that landed next to him was a hand crank? Like the world was ending around him, he'd just gone through the rollercoaster of losing and then finding his angel again, and from the burning bones of the Bentley fate offers him an echo of the same object he'd once been given divinely. What did it feel like to reach for a souvenir and find that object given to him in this new context? What did it feel like to use that again in this moment of once again offering the fate of humanity up to the choice of one it's own? To be able to hold this thing, born again from a human made object, and say this time I am going to use it to give them the opportunity to choose their own fate?
#good omens#crowley#I keep thinking about this and how he leaves that airfield wondering if this was all God's plan from the start#I wonder if it felt like finding equilibrium or maybe a sort of reclamation#Like acknowledging that even if you are not who you once were you can and often do still carry parts of them with you#And validation that carrying those parts do not mean you are still that person#That same act starting the universe in motion again has such a different meaning being used to give Adam a choice#Despite the fact it is clearly meant to be an echo of starting the universe for the sake of being created to do so#Hi yes I'm still thinking about the damn hand crank
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Unfortunately for you all, the more crankiness I see about S2, the more I am obligated to love it. Gonna love those gay pirates, both active and retired, so hard. 💖
#to be clear#are there things I would have liked to have seen done differently?#absolutely!#are there valid critiques?#sure thing!#are there things that didn’t work for me personally?#yes indeed#but it was a beautiful season of television and I am so grateful#I love the story and the characters so much#I love that Ed and Stede are finally free#I love that the crew grew into their own#and I love how it ended in a way that felt both resolved and that there were still many stories ahead#ofmd#emynn.op
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I think my Crane's deepest secret is that he broke down and cried his eyes out for an entire hour after killing Great Granny Keeny because despite the horrific abuse she put him through as a child, there was still a small part of him that desperately craved affection from his mother figure and he knew he'd never be able to receive it now.
#sometimes a person can have shitty parents that they deeply resent but still desperately want for things to be different!#always been fascinated by how year one crane felt like he was seeking some sort of validation from his parents#so yoinking that for mine!#shiversverse#jonathan crane#child abuse tw
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man rodeoh hasnt added my not so good review and now im starting to wonder if theres some suspicious reason they dont have any reviews under 4 stars
#its an underwear brand i tried out awhile ago#they felt really cheap and thin and unstretchy when they arrived and within a year completely fell apart at the seams#like i ripped the waistband right off from just putting them on.#the croctches wore right out to nothing and im not even active! i hardly do anything!#and like maybe a year is too much to ask for clothing nowadays but idk i feel like they should last longer than that#i cant afford to replace all my underwear every year#also for tboy oriented underwear i was sorely disappointed that they didnt have pad functionality#idk man#rodeoh#maybe they just arent made for big fat guys idk#the inseam was awkwardly proportioned so it crumpled a lot under my belly but wasnt long enough to go over it#i tried to record a video of how easy it was to pull em apart but it just made me look really strong and also like the start of an OF#i need some validation that im not the only one that experienced this iim dying squirtle
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"fandom discourse isnt that serious" yeah duh but i feel like i should be allowed to talk about things like people being misogynistic or justifying abuse without being told im complaining too much or something, when these are such extremely prevalent issues in fandom 😭
#also idk about you guys but complaining is fun to me#like. being super negative and focusing solely on that isnt fun but that isnt me#maybe thats how some people might see it but thats not how it is from my perspective#i like to enjoy lots of fandom content and then when i see something that rubs me the wrong way i like to get my feelings out#so i block then post about it and then move on#its really not as deep as people make it seem#you dont have to follow me and can even block me if my page is too negative for you <3#other things i complain about are usually me talking about not having good experiences in the fandom#like being told my characterization of saiki is wrong by people who literally didnt understand a word of saiki k#which i feel is valid of me to complain about lol#ok whatever the point is. literally just leave me alone LMAO#this is kind of a vent i guess#someone irl said this to me and i felt inclined to talk about it here because people have said this on here too#also im autistic so a lot of it truly just is that serious to me LMAOODODNDKEKD#meows post
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don't really vent here much these days but man. me/cfs has really affected what things i can enjoy now
not only am i fighting for my life against depression to get into things and Stay invested i also need to factor in fatigue and brain fog so reading and actually understanding a book can take forever now
and going outside? i have to figure out how far i can go/what's my halfway point (alone my range is very small basically just walks around my area that are nowhere near the distance i used to be able to cover, and I rarely get to go places these days because no one's really got the time/energy to come with me or take me and I really can't handle public transport these days. and I suppose it's hard to go somewhere sorta far alone now. I want/need someone with me.)
just... sigh. the boredom and loneliness are probably the worst thing about this. the worst is the isolation though
#a podcast i love just know i wont be able to keep up with right now and it's a shame#i've fallen off mmos too so i've not really felt the urge to play swtor and that was part of my life for like... a sth like a whole decade?#and thats how i've made so many of my friends today! like the vast majority of them#well. more fandomwise but ygm#so many hobbies are becoming harder/more exhausting to do -- god i miss being able to cook routinely#i will say it's been really helpful and validating to find spaces to talk with other pwME though
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"Hug"(포옹) by Seventeen fits the Han brothers so well... Han Yoojin and Han Yoohyun song... ㅠㅠㅠㅠ💔❤️🩹❤️🔥
rough lyrics tl:
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#someone pls make an animatic or something...#s classes that i raised#my s class hunters#s class liveblog#han yoojin#han yoohyun#seventeen#svt#had to post this here too#this is their song to me now#i always liked that this song felt more platonic...#it fits them so well that i cant even decide which verse is who bc it fits them both😭#last verse should def be yoojin --> yoohyn tho bc it matches up SO well w that one scene in the beginning...#edit; im looking at other tls of the last verse and everyone is doing it diff#this is how i interpeted the lyrics tho...#i...think im right??? or at least its valid ckdbcn#my translation#translation
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