#how much editing is done varies from piece to piece

[moonlight-fox]

Varies wildly. But. For some (short) things it's stream of consciousness 'write it all down in a single go'. For others I'll have a single document and then sort of be doing...

Prose prose prose prose prose

<in the next couple of paragraphs this happens>

<And then this>

Prose prose prose prose prose prose prose

<and then this>

Prose prose prose prose prose

Which might be beat by beat or act by act depending on how I'm feeling beat by beat plans on what happens next that when I'm up for doing some writing on that work I can replace.

Though I'm currently transitioning from working in notepad to working in scrivener so my workflow is currently up in the air. To make that second approach work in scrivinr my current work flow is a manuscript for the short piece with individual files for each <bulleted what happens next> and then have a notes file that I've got on the right panel and be doing my writing in the left panel, with the <plan> over in the little window where you can make a quick note about the section to remind you what's in it in the corkboard view.

Meanwhile for the 3 year project with weekly updates I'd be writing the individual chapters in the stream of consciousness 'write it all down in a single go' and have a libre office spreadsheet with notes to myself on my plan, and which chapters I'd written and which I hadn't written and when each was going up online, with an estimation for how much of the stuff I hadn't finished but had started I'd written (So, "Yeah this is about halfway done, I'll slap a 50% into that sheet) and conditional formatting so when written it went green, when not started it was red, and anything in between was yellow, and a little section of the spreadsheet off to one corner for 'chapters I've written but haven't figured out where I'm going to place them' and sometimes I'd outline plot beats I needed to happen to know how many chapters related to the current arc and figure out what order things needed to go if that involved following multiple characters and what a natural pace for that - Seperate notepad file, obviously - with the most complicated arc from a narrative planning stage (arc 2) needing me to break out a flowchart once I'd figured out what all the story beats that needed chapters of their own (and possibly even had written them all) to figure out the correct order for them, and then filling out the stuff in between with side-content, world building, subplots that sometimes became heavily relevant for an arc and othertimes remained as subplots. Much less planning for those until I was wrapping up and had to think carefully about the use of the chapters I had remaining because...

...Well, obviously when I saw an opportunity to end a pokemon fanfic on Chapter 151 I did it, so which characters needed subplots wrapping up and how many chapters I had spare to do remaining one and dones or a Halloween two parter were limited.

...If I still had access to some I might have even broken out some project management software because it was basically just a dependency graph I was making.

And then in the final editing pass I'd add in the HTML for formatting before copying it into the relevant pages for my NeoCities page.

While for the epilogue I had about 20 different notepad files where I wrote each character's epilogue at various time stamps, and then made a spreadsheet to figure out what who was in which so I didn't miss anything while copying all of that into a master document, and then juggled the order of each person in each time zone until it felt like it flowed. That was fun to write and then left me with a narrative jigsaw after doing editing passes on each individually before stitching them together and then more editing passes when I was happy with the order.

...I'm not sure if I'd use scrivener for something I wanted to publish as HTML or not...

Like, maybe, and then copy paste into notepad before doing the HTML on it?

hello writers.

[ink-the-artist]

I love your artwork so much! Your colors are so vibrant and none of the white speckles in the paper ever shows, its so impressive and I really dig it! I was wondering if you use any sort of blending medium? Like baby oil or anything? Either way, I really enjoy looking at your artwork and I'm always excited to see whatever you'll make next

I use a colorless blender (prismacolor, which is wax-based so baby oil probably wouldnt work) but my scanner is also rly bad about picking up white specks in a way photographing the art with my phone isnt, so I usually have to do some digital editing to get rid of them as well.

I do this by duplicating the layer, setting the one on top to "darken," and using the mixer brush to blend out the white spots + just use the eyedropper tool to select the color of that area (needs to be a slightly lighter shade of it) and color over the white spots with the brush tool

i edited a small bit of the original scan to show what i mean

original:

with the edited layer:

heres how it looks set to normal instead of darken, I used both the mixing brush and regular brush just to demo it

[iraprince]

gonna show u guys a little opalescent highlight hack i threw together today

rainbow gradient above your main figure (i usually have all my main figure folders/layers in one big folder, so i can clip gradient maps + adjustments to it!). liquify tool to push the colors around a bit. STAY WITH ME I KNOW IT LOOKS STUPID RN I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS

THEN: set it to add/glow (or the equivalent in ur drawing program), lower the opacity a bit, and apply a layer mask. then u can edit the mask with whatever tools you like to create rainbow highlights!!

in this case i'm mostly using the lasso fill tool to chip out little facets, but i've also done some soft airbrushing to bring in larger rainbow swirls in some areas. it's pretty subtle here, but you can see it better when i remove the gradient map that's above everything, since below i'm working in greyscale:

more granular rambling beneath the cut!

u could also just do this with a brush that has color jitter, but what i like about using layer masks for highlight/shading layers is how simple and reversible it makes everything. i can use whatever brushes i want, and erasing/redoing things is super low stakes, which is great when i often approach this stuff with a super trial-and-error approach.

example: have u ever thrown a gradient w multiple colors over an entire piece, set it to multiply etc, and then tried to erase it away to carve out shadows/highlights? it's super frustrating, bc it looks really good, but if u erase something and then change ur mind later, u basically would have to like. recreate the gradient in the area u want to cover up again. that's how i used to do things before figuring out layer masks!! but masking basically creates a version of this with INFINITE undo bc u can erase/re-place the base layer whenever u want.

anyway, back to rambling about this specific method:

i actually have TWO of these layers on this piece (one with the liquified swirls shown above, and another that's just a normal concentric circle gradient with much broader stripes) so i can vary the highlights easily as needed.

since i've basically hidden the rainbow pattern from myself, the colors in each brushstroke i make will kind of be a surprise, which isn't always great -- but easily fixable! for example, if i carve out a highlight and it turns out the rainbow pattern in that area is way too stripey, i can just switch from editing the mask to editing the main layer and blur that spot a bit.

also, this isn't a full explanation of the overall transparency effect in these screencaps! there's other layer stuff happening below the rainbow highlights, but the short version is i have all this character's body parts in different folders, each with their own lineart and background fill, and then the fill opacity is lowered and there's multiply layers clipped to that -- blah blah it's a whole thing. maybe i'll have a whole rundown on this on patreon later. uhhh i think that's it tho! i hope u get something useful out of this extremely specific thing i did lmao

[lilolilyr]

~ Lilo's 2024 Star Wars recs ~ (another Ao3 year in review)

This is specifically the star wars edition of my reader year in review, the rest & more info can be found here!

Descriptions/summaries by me, click the links for the ones from the authors.

The Good Sith by sonnyrain - Obi-Wan Kenobi and all of the Vod'e time travel and end up on a Sith planet. Obi-Wan, now 'Aranar', turns to the dark side, swearing to protect his men no matter the cost. Over a million words, lots of plot and character developments, fix-everything, still ongoing as of mid last year but you can read the first part(s) on their own.

I love this fic a ridiculous amount, I read several parts at least twice, and I'm thinking about it constantly. Like, when I think up my plotless little fluff piece fix everything bedtime stories I think up to fall asleep (and sometimes when something's good have to forego sleep to write down immediately because I know I won't remember fuckall come morning), I think of the versions of the characters from that 'verse just as often as I think of canon star wars characters or ones from any other fics. It fits into my headcanon 'verse really well because I always work with multiverse settings, and I love the kid characters especially little Sithling Aurek and his twin Soul.

Knives and Spices by argentee, mikaiyawa and others: A whole group of humans from earth is kidnapped into the Star Wars world, and separate fics follow separate characters. One becomes Mandalorian, one a pop star, yet another befriends some pirates and travels to lands we've never seen in canon. 280k, ratings and warnings vary, series still ongoing, parts can be read separately

I love and adore all kinds of self insert stories but this one is just extra levels of amazing - it's basically humans are space orcs meets Star Wars, and humans are all a bit force sensitive - the ending of the series summary describes it perfectly: "how much trouble can a few humans cause? All of it. All the trouble." and I love it all to bits!

Like a Tree by the River by @bairnsidhe - at Galidraan, Komari has a vision of the canon future and decides that she'd rather leave the Jedi behind than be a part of that massacre. Somehow, this ends with her and Dooku being adopted by mandalorians, and her in turn kind of adopting teenaged Obi-Wan at Melida/Daan? 20k T

Idk, this isn't even such a long one and I mean all of BairnSidhe's works I've read are great but somehow specifically this one with Dooku being the 'a bit old' ad and Komari therefore the bu'ad of a random coruscanti Mandalorian just stuck with me and I sometimes randomly think of Dooku being all confused and have to smile xD the plot&writing is also really good!

How a Romance Novel Saved the Galaxy by @arianaderalte: The mandos get their hands on a novel that describes a romance between mandalorians and jedi, and just how perfect jedi really are as partners for mandalorians... This changes things when both groups interact irl. 200k, rated T, Violence

This series has Everything. Jedi, Mandalorians, action, relationships, all kinds of queerness, and excerpts from a romance novel about the ancient Sith wars. Honestly, this fic just couldn't be better! I binge-read through it in one go even though I should have done a million other things at the time and I didn't regret it one bit xD

All the Amavikka stories: the slaves on Tatooine have a separate secret culture with language, myths and names, and Anakin, coming from this culture, reacts to Palpatine being his newest slave master

I think this idea of Tatooine slave culture and of Anakin's characterization is so interesting and I love reading it, from long Double Agent Vader by @fialleril, which I think is the original fic creating the Ekkreth lore, over the ongoing series Biting His Own Tale by @adragonsfriend, to the short story I can't find anymore about depur erecting a tower, a song-fic to Babylon by Dirt Poor Robin and the reason for my obsession with that band - please, if anyone has a link, send it my way! - and all other fics, I love this trope so much!

I think Ekkreth Skywalker was one of the first trope rabbit holes I stumbled into when I got really into Star Wars longfics in the middle of 2024, and I'm always excited to see references to it in fics mainly about other characters as well, like Breaking Chains by @jehanneargentee, and I went back to (re)reading fics about the trope on purpose several times as well :)

The last fic leads neatly into the next trope I really loved this year, Time Travel stories, more specifically Obi-Wan Kenobi time travelling and meeting mandalorians :D

I don't really have more specific stories for this one, I read so so so many of them that they just blur together in my mind. I marked a couple with the Ao3 rec function so I assume I liked those especially much, but going through them now I still don't really remember much, but I do recognize a couple fic author names as authors I read many good fics from, Ariel_Sojourner AppoApples @batshieroglyphics @roosjem LeeTheHobbit @triscribe cjwritesfanficnow @laurabwrites y'all's are awesome! Everyone, go check out all their fics!

I do also read and enjoy stories where people other than Obi-Wan travel through time, one that really stuck with me is In Good Time by morwen_of_gondor, about the Mandalorian trainers Kal Skirata and Walon Vau time travelling back to their time on Kamino.

All the fluffy h/c, fix-it, everyone lives, no order 66 Clone Wars fics! Pro-jedi, pro-clones, anti-sith (which sometimes includes Anakin, sometimes not), usually focusing on the 212th.

I never watched the series and it's been ages since I watched Attack of the Clones, but somehow, probably on the time travel -> Obi-Wan fics -> General Kenobi pipeline, I ended up reading a loooot of clone wars (fix it) fic, specifically lots and lots of Codywan!

You know that lovely feeling of getting into a new fandom without having any preconceived notions or otps or anything, so you can read All The Fic without any ships or bashing squicking you out? Yeah, that was me in Star Wars several months ago, cursed be the Codywan that got to me xD I can barely read time travel fics anymore without mourning the existence of the Vod'e because changing the past usually means they won't be created (unless they're the ones time travelling of course. Love those fics) and where I used to read just about anyone x Obi-Wan (and also anyone x anybody else lmao), I'm not pretty exclusively into Codywan... That being said, there's a reason for that, and that's the amount of amazing fics for that ship that I came across!

Again, I don't have specific fics that I remember because I just read so many one after the other... I guess I'll have to re-read them all. Which is great actually because me not remembering them much means I can reread them basically for the first time! I did mark some as rec but looking through them now I think they're not mainly recced for the codywan... My shippy bookmark tag might give a better overview.

Another ship I got into was clone troopers Waxer x Boil, I like the thought of the Vod'e being a society of to outsiders identical looking but to each other separate people who only see their immediate batchmates as siblings (which would also psychologically make a lot more sense), and these two are just super cute.

One of the first Waxer/Boil fics I read is also Codywan and it's one of these clones&Obi-Wan time travel fics I like so much :D The 212th Attack Battalion's Guide to Saving the Galaxy by Accident by @antigrav-vector and @quarra, it also has some Dooku/Sifo-Dyas which is another ship I really like.

Another one I still want to continue reading is RCAU: Open Skies mainly by @cacodaemonia, what I've seen of it so far is great and the story is So Long (almost 900k, a honestly daunting wordcount and probably what made me procrastinate continuing it, but also Awesome because So Much Fic), it's cute and shippy and no order 66 but also has plot and interesting characters and ocs and I just love it <3

Also similar but less ship centric, I absolutely love all the fics where Fox gets to kill Palpatine. Just, best trope ever. The Corrie Guard deserves a little Sith Murder. As a treat.

Jaster Mereel and his haat'ade (True Mandalorians), there are a bunch of really good ones where they rescue Obi-Wan and the Young from Melidaan, but also in general all the Jaster fics are great!

While I'm very anti guns irl I just love the fictional Mandalorian culture xD with their cool armor and their codex and the language (per my last count I know 90 words of Mando'a just from fic reading osmosis, send me an ask if you want a list lmao), the vibrant culture created by it being a creed, not one species... and Jaster is just my favorite Mando'ad ever, maybe because he doesn't have much canon attached so fanon just went wild? xD there are also a bunch of jedi shippy fics with him and Dooku sometimes in ot3 with Sifo-Dyas, or him and Jon Antilles like the wonderful 100k wip trade your heart for bones to know by @blackkatmagic, and I think there was one with time travelling adult Obi-Wan as well - edit: yes several, by @roosjem @cjwritesfanficnow @batshieroglyphics <3

Skywalker Family Values by Ariel_Sojourner: Sith-son Luke and senator daughter Leia end up in the same summer camp, it ends in a destruction of the speciist camp, a rebellious theatre performance and the reintroduction of their parents... Aka the parent trap/ Doppelte Lottchen AU that is still somehow perfectly in tune with the Star Wars world! 55k, T for violence.

Can't forget the fic that actually got me into Star Wars! At least I'm pretty sure this is the one? I think there was a tumblr post talking about crackfic ideas for a parent trap AU, and I went looking and found this one, which is actually 100% serious and such a good read. I actually made my mom read it as well xD Das Doppelte Lottchen (German original parent trap book from 1949) was one of our favs for her to read to me when I was a kid, and my mom is always looking for new reading material and as I'm mainly reading fanfic, I'm always happy to find fic she'll also like.

And, because I turn everything into a tag meme, maybe some of you also want to show your appreciation for the writers who got us through the last year - everyone who sees this, feel free to make your own post (if it's just Star wars fic I guess you can reblog-add to this one, but otherwise seriously make your own post)! and remember to leave your authors some comments especially if they can't be @-ed on tumblr :) tagging all the authors already tagged above and everyone else who sees this!

here's my 2024 rec list for other fandoms

more of my fic recs • my writing • my Star Wars • Star Wars fic recs

[silverlining-ships]

I had someone DM me recently asking for tips for creating an SU sona and drawing in the style, which is one of my favorite topics to think about and discuss!! I'm definitely not the end-all-be-all of SU style replication and have so much to learn, but I wanted to share my method for anyone interested in creating SU art! So here's a Steven Universe Style Replication guide!

Before you start:

Gather LOTS of references. references EVERYWHERE. I have a google drive folder specifically for Jasper references, but I plan on having folders for each character as well. If you know you're going to draw a specific character a lot, gather references!!!

also, gather references of characters you base your S/I on physically. my sona has traits from both Steven and Connie's body types, so I used photos from their references when creating mine - I specifically used Connie's turnaround as inspiration for the height/posing of mine!

((you don’t HAVE to create a turnaround ofc, but thinking of your sona as one that needs to “follow the rules” of the other characters’ designs can help creating something that looks proportional and accurate!))

Colorwise, it’s fun to consider your f/o or the characters you interact with before creating an outfit palette -> I specifically use yellow as a base color because of the way it meshes with Jasper’s orange pallet, as well as being complementary to Steven’s pink and Connie’s blue

Drawing:

SU has the benefit (and curse) of inconsistent style and size references. it's partially proportions to the other characters, yea, but it's more in the shape language you use when drawing in the style, which is why references are so helpful! 

(unrelated but I love how this shows how much I still struggle drawing jasper.... even after six months straight of exclusively drawing her. sigh.)

take these drawings I threw together! these are four completely different characters, but they all feel different because of the shape language used:

even with my own style bleeding in, really focusing in on what their core body is expressing is what demonstrates the character.

this translates to creating your own sona, too - think about how your sona would fall into the shape language. my sona is similar to Connie, but a bit curvier and stockier, which shows especially in the core of the character design!

I know the "belted shape" concept has gone around this fandom for years, but I'd recommend not depending on it as in my opinion it doesn't translate nearly as well as just a general concept of the form - like how it doesn't work as well with Peridot when she becomes tiney

[obligatory PSA that anatomy knowledge/practice helps so much here - I've been drawing SU for YEARRSSSSS but my understanding of the forms got so much better when I started practicing gesture drawing/anatomy practice]

Expressions/facial anatomy:

so again, SU has so much style inconsistency that the way you draw expressions will vary based on the boarder - this EXCELLENT because this means expressions are really easy to pass in the style! but some visuals anyway:

most of the time, faces are extremely simplified with one guideline across the face, a little bit higher than where the "cheek" starts if the character has a cheek

if more masculine, the guideline will be a bit higher and the eyes will be shorter

an interesting note with Spinel specifically is that her eyebrow expression is done through her hairline, which is part of her really fun 20s inspired look!

Lineart:

i feel like if anything really makes something look "canon", it's how the lineart is done in a finished piece. if I compare with a couple fake screens/edits I've attempted:

the lineart makes all the difference here!!!!

for specs reasons if you're curious, I use procreate with the "baskerville" brush on a higher stream line setting. I do not have pressure sensitivity, so all of my lines are hand-weighted, but if you have pressure sensitivity you might have an easier time here!

facial details tend to be slightly thinner. eyes tend to be a little bit thicker on either the top/bottom or sides, although it depends

outer borders, major clothing, outer hair tufts and other major features are the thickest lines

sometimes lines aren't used at ALL for various features (gem facets, some more minor clothing details, like the bottom of Lapis' top or the waistline on Jasper's uniform)

[random screenshots I pulled as examples]

the key part with lineart and style replication, though, is that is varies WILDLY by style. as long as you have some line weighting it's really easy to get it to pass as SU style

lastly I HIGHLY recommend practicing screenshot edits or fake screenshots if you can!!! I feel like the silly edits I do really help emphasize my understanding of what it takes to make something look like the style, and my little journey into making fake screenshots/"canon" screenshots is a big part of how I've learned to draw in SU style!!!

That's all I have for y'all, make all the SU art in the world!! 2025 will be the Year of Steven Universe Art!!!!

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Wasted Love {Part II}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Language, High Angst

Words: 6.3k

Summary: Nope.

Note: Posted the first part of this months back and finally getting around to part 2. I hope you like it. Look out for the final part.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

As you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Previous: Wasted Time |

-Lewis-

"For fuck's sake!” He threw the controller across the room.  When it collided with the floor it shattered sending pieces everywhere. "Woah. Woah! What the hell?!” Andrew, Miles, and Daniel all looked at him with varying expressions of confusion, shock, and concern. "Yo, what the fuck is your problem? It’s just an L in MK," Andrew said. He sighed then rubbed his face, pressing a little harder than necessary. "Like we can go again, and I'll let you win if it's that serious," Miles said. He sighed again, his head miles, leaps, and bounds away from the video game, the living room, or his friends. His mind was still in that penthouse suite with you standing in front of him as you argued going back and forth both pushing and neither relenting even a little. His head was still there picking apart every word, every expression, every shuddered breath, every pupil dilation. "Yo, Lewis," Daniel called bringing his attention back to them. "Nah, this can't be about the game. Even you're not that petty," Miles said putting his controller down. "What's up?" He rolled his head around cracking each joint in his neck and shoulders. He hadn't realized until now how wound up he'd been over the last 2 and a half weeks. He also hadn’t realized how steadily his anger and frustrations were climbing too. What was him being in disbelief for the first few days after the confrontation turned into anger then annoyance. Right now he was festering and stewing in all three. He couldn’t believe that after everything you'd been through, everything you'd shared, the lengthy conversations, the trips to and from each of your homes, the late-night phone and video calls that lasted for hours and hours, the dates, the trips, the interactions with his family and him yours, all of it, you were here.

While he had thought you were building and strengthening and growing toward each other despite his insane schedule and lack of free time, that wasn't the case at all. If you had then there was no way you could have said the shit you did or believed he would do some shit like that. "Dude," Andrew began. "It's nothing," he lied. "Bullshit. It's not racing that's been going good, it's not the other hustles either. What, is it Y/N?" His entire body tensed at the mention of your name. That was different. Before, your name brought him peace, a smile and so much more. "Bingo. What is it? Haven't seen her in a few weeks, she too busy for your ass and you salty for it?" He was used to Daniel’s teasing, and usually, he would laugh it up and allow them to bust his chops, but right now Daniel was rubbing on a sensitive topic. Before he realized it he'd kissed his teeth. That action made all three of them perk up. "What's wrong?" "We're done," he blurted out as if the words were acrid acid on his tongue. They were quiet for a few moments, then Miles broke it. "Done? Fuck outta here. You're lying." "I'm for real,” he replied with a touch of exasperation in his voice. "What? What happened?" He sighed again then told them the whole story not leaving out anything. He wanted to hear their thoughts mainly because he felt they would take his side. As he went through the whole thing again he had to admit to himself that there were some things he shouldn't have said, things that he recognized fueled your ruthlessness, things he now regretted. When he'd said his piece he waited for them to tune in, however, a good minute passed before any of them said a word. They just exchanged looks as if speaking nonverbally and trying to come to a consensus. "She fucked up right." Daniel made a face. "IIIIIIII mean," he stretched out in that high-pitched tone that said even more.

"Hold on,” Andrew interrupted, “Has something changed? I thought you were all about her these last months. I thought since she finally gave you the time you were being real.”

“I was—am—was. Shit.”

“You slipped up?”

“No! It was nothing, it was work.”

They all gave him the look as if he was full of shit. Kissing his teeth again he rolled his eyes. “I’m telling the truth. It was work, nothing more. Hell I even told them that when they tried to tag team off each other to spit game. I told them I was seeing someone, and it was getting serious, and I wasn’t bout that life anymore.”

“That’s what I thought,” Miles said.

“I didn’t even know she was there. She showed me some fucked picture and she ran with that shit.”

“What picture?”

He opened his messages, found the picture then showed it to them. You’d sent it to him a few hours after you’d left when he texted you that, “You were fucking things up”, your reply was the picture and a simple reply, “Naw bruh you did that shit all on your own. Own it!” It was the last message you’d sent him. It was now almost 3 weeks later, and you were still radio silent.

“Woah, yeah. That looks bad,” Andrew spat out.

Daniel took his phone and studied the picture closer. “Is she kissing your neck?”

“No.”

Miles now snatched the phone and studied it. “And her hand--.”

“No. Nothing happened. The wild shit is this was a backroom photoshoot for the brand. We were posing for the designer for their social marketing.”

“Does she know that?”

“I don’t know. I shit you not, she blew in like a hurricane and within 10 minutes she was gone. She didn’t let me explain. Nothing. Someone sent her that picture.”

“Someone wanted to start shit and she took the bait.”

“9 months. 9 fucking months I’ve been bending backward trying to erase my past for her. 9 months I’ve been putting in wild effort to show her, prove to her I’m not the same dude I used to be, 9 months I’ve been going hard trying to show her what she meant to me and that I’m not fucking around when it comes to her, but 10 minutes and it all blew the fuck up. Now I’m angry, what the fuck was I doing this whole time? Why?”

They didn’t bother replying because there was nothing else to say. They knew everything he was saying was true. He’d cut out all the extra shit months ago because he wanted to get closer to you. He’d decided to be the committing type and he was happy to do it, happy to show you he was more than his reputation. He’d turned on plenty of trips, parties, and things of the kind with his boys because it would have backfired. He’d worked hard to earn your trust but in truth, he hadn’t earned anything. You still saw him as he used to be. And that was the hard pill for him to swallow.

~~~~~~~

-1 Week Later-

“Uncle Lewis let’s go in the pool.”

Snapping out of it, he smiled at his niece then nodded. “Of course princess, let’s go.”

He walked to the edge of the pool and stood beside her. As they prepared his nephew approached and began doing the same thing. As they counted down from three he jumped at 2.

“Aw, Uncle Lewis you cheated!”

He shrugged and watched them leap into the water creating massive miniature splashes of the one he’d just created. When they emerged they came after him trying to attack him like little baby sharks. Each of their attempts was blocked and turned around on them. When one failed he grabbed the other and tossed them across the pool then did the same for the other. Soon there was almost just as much water outside the pool as there was inside.

By the time he got out of the pool the sun was setting and he was exhausted. Dropping himself into one of the lounge chairs, he sighed and allowed himself to relax. However, relaxation wasn’t in the cards for him. Though the activity from before worked to distract him from his heavy thoughts, now with the absence of said activity it all came flooding back. With an exasperated grunt, he grabbed his phone off of the side table and then went to his socials.

As he aimlessly scrolled through the posts he liked a few and kept swiping. Some of the posts he registered others he didn’t. Within a few short minutes, he somehow found himself on yours. He didn’t even notice until he was staring at one of your recent posts, a picture of yourself staring deeply into the camera. It looked like something shot for a brand or a photoshoot rather than a natural selfie.

For several moments all he thought of was how fucking gorgeous you were. The saying ‘the eyes are the windows to the soul’ rang true for you because every time he gazed into them he was always pulled into their depths to drown in their beauty. Fuck, he missed you he thought to himself. On the 4th post he’d landed on he sighed seeing you laughing uncontrollably with your best friend. You looked like you hadn’t a care in the world; like you were blissfully happy. The thought hit him then that you looked like you didn’t miss him one bit.

Acknowledging that made his heart thud painfully then his annoyance was back. It was just like you to leave him to fall apart while you escaped with carefreeness. He’d always suspected that he felt more for you than you felt for him. He guessed that this was his proof. He tapped the tag in the photo of your best friend and found even more videos and pictures of you. The backdrop said you were either on an island or some European seaside town and you were enjoying yourself. He pressed his finger to the screen, freezing the video on your smiling face. Drinking wasn’t really his thing, but fuck did he want a drink or three right now.

“You’re messing yourself up.”

Snapping his head up, he found his mother sitting beside him.

“Mum.”

“Not only are you messing yourself up with everything you’re keeping in but you’re trying to use everything you possibly can as an escape, case in point this last-minute trip,” she finished.

“Mum, it’s not like--.”

“And according to Miles and Daniel, you’re spiraling inside, and it’s not a little.”

“I’m fine, mum, I promise,” he half lied placing his phone on the side table face up.

“You’re not. How could you be fine? The first woman you’ve allowed yourself to fall in love with in years has done a flip and turn because of your actions.”

His brow rose, “What?”

“Acceptance of one’s actions is important, Lewis. I have always taught you that.”

“Naw. Nope, I didn’t do this. I didn’t make this happen. She is a distrustful person.” He sat up straighter then, “I worked my butt off to show her she could trust me, to show her that I wanted her and only her.”

His mother shook her head about that. “If you’re still doing the things you know are triggers for her, how are you proving anything?”

He looked at her incredulously. He knew she liked you a lot and had grown closer to you over the past months, but he didn’t know when she’d completely jumped on your ship while abandoning his.

“Mum, I can’t control half the things she thinks,” he pleaded.

“The pictures Lewis. The pictures and your choice of words.”

He sighed then because he knew that she’d talked to you already. He was tempted to ask his mother for the play-by-play, but he decided against it knowing she probably wouldn’t go for it.

“It was innocent. It was work.”

“Did you tell her that? You know someone sent her those pictures? Someone wanted to start problems and it was too easy because you helped them along.”

“I tried to tell her, but she basically called me a liar. She looked me in my eyes and decided not to believe me. Plus it’s a lot more than she ever afforded me. She’s photographed with a lot of guys all the time; some work, some not, she doesn’t explain any of it to me, yet I trust her enough to believe it’s not something wild or disrespectful. Yet when it comes to me, I’m automatically the knob.”

“Lewis,” she warned.

He raised his hand, sighed out then leaned back in the chair.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.”

They sat in silence for a few moments before he continued. “She treats me like an option mum--a bloody option. This whole year, the 9 we’ve been together and the 3 it took to claim her, I’ve treated her like my only choice.”

The truth to those words was a truth he’d buried deep. His mother reached over and took his hand.

“Sweetie,” she began.

He knew what was coming, knew she was either going to defend you or try to soothe the pain he felt. He didn’t want either.

“She acts like I never said the words.”

Another truth he’d buried. “I said them, I meant them and she--she never said them back, never even acknowledged them.”

That night was still fresh in his mind. The night when his body and heart felt matched perfectly, it was the night he’d said the words he’d felt for weeks and weeks before. He’d stared deeply into your eyes and said them. ‘I love you.’ He’d meant them. He didn’t know he could still truly feel that way about anyone or feel enough to say the words. You’d proven him wrong, and he was cut up because of it.

 “Lewis, I’m thrilled that you’ve finally found someone that you want in your life for more than a few months. It makes me so happy that you have found someone to love. She is a wonderful woman, but, who cares what she does? If this is how you feel how you truly feel, if she is who you choose and wholeheartedly want beside you then you are supposed to be with it be about her no matter what.”

“Seriously!? No.”

“That my love, is the difference between a boy and a grown man. A grown man is one hundred percent true to what’s in here,” she reached over then pat his chest just over his heart. “He is about it, and nothing changes it because it does not matter.”

“How—H--how do I do that? How in the world do I put myself out there--,” he voiced before she cut him off.

“--And invite her to break your heart? Is she worth the risk?”

He didn’t want to open his mouth to even answer this. If you weren’t worth it, he wouldn’t have spent so much time perusing you. He never would have made so much of an effort to include you in his world and life, he wouldn’t have waited 6 fucking months to sleep with you so both of you were sure where your hearts were, he wouldn’t have ever told you he loved you. Of course, you were worth it but the memory of the look in your eyes as you spoke to him, the last thing you’d said to him held part of him back.

“I have always been and will always be that bitch with or without you.”

That coupled with the way you looked at him just before the elevator doors closed held him back.

“Lewis!”

“I—I don’t—I don’t know anymore.”

He rubbed his forehead. “I thought I knew, thought I was so sure, I was sure, but--I don’t.”

This was fucked, he thought as he felt his mother’s eyes boring into him. When she stood she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him as she did when he was a child after a spill. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out while he relished this comforting embrace.  It was in his mother’s loving and judgment-free arms he finally broke letting it all go.

Hours seemed to pass this way, or perhaps it had been just mere minutes. When his sister approached he felt heaps better but his heart was still heavy. A notification from his phone drew his attention as his sister sat on the floor before him. As he checked it, his sister gave her best attempt at a pep talk. Some words he caught others he missed but the sentiment was sometimes time helped people see the error of their ways and come up with ways to fix the errors. He didn’t know if she meant his errors or yours.

He went into his socials DMs and found a message from your best friend. After hesitating for a few moments he tapped into it and found a video. It took him to a recent video that was only available to her close friends. Your face came into view, and he instantly noticed the tears on your cheeks. You held your hand up to block the camera view, but the angle only changed.

“When bestie is tired of frontin' for the gram with the having the time of my life posts and allows herself to be sad and you gotta cheer her up,” your best friend said.

“Stop. You can’t record me like this. I’m not sad,” you protested.

“No?”

You were quiet for a few seconds. “No.”

Your voice was clouded as if your throat was tight words struggled to make it through. “Not sad—really, really sad,” you said voice a sobbing whine.

Fuck, he thought. He hated seeing you cry.

“What—what do I—do I do now?”

“Allow yourself to feel it,” your friend suggested.

You sobbed some more, and he watched your friend hug you before the video ended. So many things flew through his mind but the two things that kept coming around. The first was how much he missed you.

The second, you were worth it.

~~~~~~

-Y/N-

Everyone said that the first month of a breakup was always the hardest and those words were proving true. Since those elevator doors had closed you’d done everything to keep yourself moving. You piled on work to make sure you had no free time to sit and think. However, that didn’t quite work because wherever you went, something reminded you of him. Either it was a café or a location you went to for a shoot, or even something you ate. You nearly threw yourself into the ocean when one of the set interns brought you a glass of Almave.

When work didn’t prove successful, you picked yourself and your friends up for a girls’ trip to a faraway island. You drank, partied, and posted it all on your socials hoping you could fake it till you made it, but the faking became too much. By nightfall every night, you wallowed with a bottle or two of wine.

While you were beyond pissed at Lewis you also knew that picture was sent to you on purpose. You weren’t an idiot and had dealt with plenty of conniving, duplicitous bitches in your days. You knew someone was trying to fuck with you and start shit and you were giving them what they wanted. That didn’t matter because none of that changed the content of the photo.

Every time you came back to that no matter how much of your anger had dissipated, it all came back with that one nugget of fact. It was straight-up disrespect. If the tables had been turned and it was you, Lewis would have made a huge fuss over it by being extra petty. You refused to believe you were in the wrong, but several bits of your interaction tried to come through to show you had been in the wrong for a few things.

You were a passionate person and usually when arguing that passion shines through and oftentimes you get reckless at the mouth not caring how your words are thrown together or the force of those words. You knew you fought dirty; it was the only way you knew how. You blamed it on the years of living a single and independent life after one of the worst breakups of your life. It had caused more damage than good. You’d had no one to answer to, no one to consider or consult and you oftentimes still lived there in your head. It was a major switch to flip and a switch you failed, more times than you liked to admit, to flip.

You knew that night you’d said whatever came to mind and didn’t care if the words hurt. In fact, you said some things to cause pain and that was the source of your regret. Lewis had often told you throughout your 9-month relationship that your mouth would get you in trouble in more ways than one. He’d warned you about your recklessness and told you he wouldn’t stand for it because if he really wanted he could get just as reckless as you.

That was one of the things you loved about him. He wasn’t afraid to call you out on your bullshit and put you in your place when you got into your bad girlfriend mode.

Sighing, you raised the glass of wine to your lips and guzzled until it was empty. Your eyes fell to the now empty wine bottle, and you debated with yourself over getting another. It was the 2nd bottle of the night, and you knew if you got a 3rd you’d have entered lush territory, but you didn’t care enough to resist. So you slinked across the kitchen to the wine fridge and grabbed another bottle of wine, but before you closed it you grabbed one more just in case.

After you’d popped the cork and filled your glass to the brim your phone went off with a security notification. Checking the application, you reviewed the notice of someone entering your code into your security gate.

“What the hell?”

Another notification came in informing you a car was pulling up the drive. You went over the registered movements watching the videos to figure out if you had a security breach or if someone was just showing up unannounced. On the 3rd video, you realized who it was.

“No fucking way.”

You walked out of the kitchen, through your home, and to your front door. Before you got there, the bell rang. Once you turned the corner you saw who it was through the intricately decorated glass doors. Lewis Hamilton. Neither of you moved. You stood there staring at each other. You couldn’t read the expression in his brown eyes, but you could read the dark circles underneath them and his lackluster complexion. He looked slightly sick but also indifferent. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was having as hard a time as you were. You’d purposely stayed off his and his friends' accounts to avoid any excessive thoughts of him.

Lewis didn’t move a muscle, he patiently waited for you to make your move. It was a move you didn’t know how to make. You’d be a liar if you said you hadn’t wanted him to run after you and fight some more, but you also didn’t want to see him again. So one hand itched to grab the knob and open the door for him but the other hand wanted to override the security system and shutter down your house.

You closed your eyes and took several deep breaths giving your body control to see which side won. When your hand wrapped around the knob you wanted to break it. Once you opened the door, you snapped your eyes open.

“What the hell are you doing here? How did you get past my gate?”

Lewis scoffed and slightly shook his head before speaking, “Let me in, Y/N.”

You scrunched your face and doubled down on your annoyance. “What? Not a chance in hell. Answer me. How?”

When your best friend's name came out of his mouth your eyes bugged. There was no way.

“Bullshit! There is no way my best friend would give you my security code for my gate without letting me know. There is no way!”

He looked unamused now.

“Yet she did.”

You studied him still shocked.

“Let me in.”

“No. Why would I do that? We have nothing to talk about.”

“I think we have a lot to talk about.”

You scoffed. “Five weeks too late. Anything I had to say was said already. We’ve both said enough. You should go 44.”

Lewis took a sharp breath in and released it. As it came out it sounded like a hiss. “Oh boy. Y/N, stop talking! For real just stop—fucking talking and let me in!”

“What the fuck?! Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Do I fucking look like one of your side bitches, or your groupies?!”

From the heat rushing through you, you could tell that your anger was beginning to really boil now. With quick moves, Lewis moved from his side of the door to close the space between you. Before you knew it, he had one of his hands cupping your skull and his lips pressed to yours. Like magic as if on command you stopped moving and any thought of protest faded, hell any thought at all faded.

Lewis’ lips moved against yours in a way you’d found yourself missing the last five weeks. He kissed you like a starved man, like a man who’d come back to claim what was his and your body reacted in the only way it had ever reacted—eager acceptance.

A small whimper escaped you and that was when Lewis backed off. You kept your eyes closed relishing the feelings that had now bubbled up within you, feelings you’d been working overtime to suppress and ignore. One kiss was all it took for the geyser to erupt.

“You talk to fucking much for your own good,” Lewis whispered.

You could feel the whisps of his breath against your face and picked up the scent of mint, and some form of berry. You tried to control your breathing so he wouldn’t see how much he still affected you. Opening your eyes, you peered into his glossy doe ones.

“You’ve said more than enough. I still have shit to say. So listen.”

Lewis then squeezed your hip bringing you back to the present. It was then you realized your body was pressed to his and his hand was gripping you holding you against him controlling your body like he always did. Shit, you thought. You loved when he took control, loved how he always knew how to shut you up when you got into one of your what he would call Y/N fits. Lewis squeezed your hip once more while biting his bottom lip and you wanted to knee him in the balls because of how easy it still was for him to turn you on.

As if he knew it too, Lewis released you as quickly as he’d grabbed you and walked into your house. A shiver rushed through you making you shudder. Asshole, you thought while you closed and locked your door. When turned around he was standing there waiting for you. Rolling your eyes, you led the way back to the kitchen. Once there you grabbed your glass and finished it.

“Speak.”

Lewis scoffed. “Don’t test me, Y/N.”

Clenching your jaw you refilled your glass then watched him with slightly narrowed eyes. You were not going to make any of this easy for him.

“I’m tired of these subs you keep throwing my way. So fucking tired of it. It’s like you enjoy being cold and evil to me and that’s not even cool. I’ve never taken joy in being cold to you.”

Shaking your head you took another sip from your glass.

“I’ve known you for years. Yeah, it wasn’t like we were in the same friend group, but we were cordial. I’ve wanted you the entire time I’ve known you. Yeah, yeah, I was messing with other women throughout that time.”

“Messing? Just say fucking. Call a spade a spade and move the fuck on,” you blurted out.

“Again, stop talking!”

His voice bounced around the kitchen, but you didn’t feel fear. You’d never feared him. You knew he wasn’t one of those men who hit women. That had never and would never be him. Narrowing your eyes, you took a large gulp of your wine, your conflicting feelings wreaking havoc on you.

“You act like you don’t have a past or even things from your past you’re ashamed of. Shit Y/N! I’ve told you I am not that man anymore, I’ve changed.”

“I don’t believe you.”

The silence stretched and you kept your eyes on him. He looked hurt but also frustrated. “I get that, and I’ve been killing myself by doing what I can to prove it to you, to show you I deserve your time.”

Shaking your head you scoffed. “You don’t have to prove shit else, Lewis. I have all the proof I need; I saw it all in that picture!”

“The picture was bullshit. Tell me you don’t get someone is fucking with you.”

“Again why do they want to do that Lewis? Huh! Is it because of your thot ass!”

“Oh my god, here we go again! Stop throwing my past in my face. I’ve owned it and have walked away from it. That picture was bullshit. I was working. What that picture doesn’t show--.”

You grabbed the wine bottle and began walking away. “I don’t give a shit anymore!”

Lewis’ hand wrapped around your wrist stopping your movement. “It was a photoshoot, Y/N. Someone took a picture of an impromptu photoshoot and sent it to you out of context.”

You scanned his eyes for any sign of a lie.

“You’re lying.”

“I have never lied to you. I swear it. You can even go to the brand owner and find out, it’s easy to do.”

You couldn’t believe that. “You’re lying Lewis.”

“I’m not. I told you I would never do some shit like that to you.”

You kept scanning his eyes unable to wrap your head around what he was saying. He had to be lying. Right?

“Look--,” he began dropping his hand and releasing you. With a sigh, he continued, “I came here to give you this.”

He then pulled something from his back pocket and held it out to you. The large brown envelope in his hand looked like doom in the form of an office supply.

“This is the last goddamn time I’m going to have you throw my past in my face. The last fucking time, Y/N. It’s not fair and I shouldn’t have to explain shit to you because this was before you and has nothing to do with us, here or now, but for some fucking reason I feel like I have to, and it irks the shit out of me especially since you don’t give me the same courtesy.”

His words felt like dull blades whipping against your skin. That flared your anger.

“You don’t have to explain shit to me.”

“Shut up!”

That was it. Though you liked it when he stood up to you, you hated feeling this backed into a corner, especially with the truths he’d just dropped.

“Listen, you’re not gonna be--.”

That was all you got out before Lewis’ lips were pressed to yours once again and again everything stopped. His lips manipulated you making you slump back against the wall you hadn’t realized you were pressed to. Lewis’ large hand squeezed your hip once again and you’d never wanted to strip someone more than him right now. When he pulled his lips from yours he kept his forehead to yours.

“You’ve never fucked with a guy like me. I told you that 9 months ago and it’s still true. I’m not going to just let you talk to me any old way. Those other fools were weak as fuck. I’m not weak. I can handle your ass,” Lewis said.

He didn’t need to say shit else because you were now turned the fuck on. Your eyes locked and it took everything in you to remain composed though his lips looked more and more tempting with each passing second.

“Are you listening now?”

You had no words.

“I’m done with that life. It’s boring, it’s old and to be honest it weighs me the fuck down. I want you and it goes past sex, it goes past claiming you or getting a notch, or even letting the world know I got you. None of that matters to me, it never has. I want you. I want Y/N. I’ve been real this entire time.”

Again he pushed out the envelope to you.

“After I give you this it’s all in your hands, your court, your decision. I’ll chase you but I’ll only chase you so far. This is how far.”

Your eyes dropped to the envelope between your bodies, but you didn’t reach for it. You couldn’t. You were actually scared of it and what it may hold. Glancing back at him, you studied his face.

“Your decision, make it. If it’s not me then cool. No hard feelings, we’re still friends and I’ll wish you nothing but the best but,” Lewis paused then cupped your chin as he pressed himself against you more. With his face mere centimeters from yours, he finished, “My lips will not touch yours until you come to me for it.”

Holy shit, you thought to yourself.

“Our next kiss if it’s in the cards will be done by you, not me.”

From the look in his eyes, you could tell he was serious. You could tell he meant this with everything. He was done chasing you, done giving and giving only to have you keep him at a distance. Fuckity, fuck, you thought.

“Are you gonna take it?”

You wanted to shake your head, but you couldn’t move. It was like he was the headlights, and you were the deer. You recognized the fear you felt. You knew it was do or die and you knew this was the moment of truth for your relationship. With what he’d told you about the picture being a set up you were more confused than ever. Rightfully, he shouldn’t even be here right now, not after your conversation before and how it all went down. He was still here trying to get you back.

You slowly took the envelope with a shaky hand, the only tell of your fear. Lewis slowly backed away from you while keeping his eyes on yours. When he was a few feet away he turned and began walking out of the kitchen.

“So that’s it?”

Lewis stopped then looked back at you. His expression was different now. You could tell how hurt he was now, how much you’d hurt him.

“You tell me, Y/N.”

You didn’t know what to tell him, so you didn’t say anything. Lewis nodded, the disappointment filling his eyes before he turned from you and walked away. You stood there listening to him walk through your house, his footsteps getting further and further away. When you heard the door close you released breath you didn’t know you were holding. The notification sounds from your phone told you that he’d driven down the drive and left the property.

It was then you put the envelope on the kitchen counter and took several deep breaths trying to calm yourself. No matter how many breathing exercises you did you still couldn’t calm down. Your mind raced replaying the conversation, dissecting every move, word, and glance, and analyzing it against every other conversation over the last 9 months. When your legs gave way from the weight of it all, you dropped to the floor. One question kept screaming in your head.

Had it all truly been wasted love or was there still hope?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[fanby-fckry]

In rare case, artist posts hands before the rest of the body:

I was lamenting how the hands on the Dual Ref Sheet WIP weren’t really showing the shapes I wanted them to, so I did some practice hands (hand study? does this count as a hand study?) based on screenshots of Vaggie’s hands.

It was originally 20, but one was from a poor quality screenshot that made it difficult to see where the wrist went, and the pose was similar to some others anyway, so I gave up on it. :P

The Vaggie refs and backup image descriptions are both below the cut.

P.S. I’m sorry if the image descriptions aren’t up to snuff; I’ve been having trouble writing coherently, which is why I focused on drawing. I didn’t expect to post these, but when they were done I was just so proud that I had to! I’ll come back to this after I get my antipsychotics sorted out.

[ID: First Image: A collection of digital drawings of my original character, Dual’s, left hand, labeled 1 through 19 and watermarked with my URL, fanby-fckry.

They have long, slender fingers with curved fingertips; I draw them with all 5 fingers. They are wearing full length gloves which mimic fingerless gloves: dark navy across the base of their hand and thumb and cyan on their fingers. On the back of their hand is a cyan water droplet, angled so that the rounded bottom faces their fingers. Their sleeve is not included, and how much wrist is shown varies from hand to hand.

The positions of the hands are as follows:

1: Lightly cupped with wrist bent.

2: Wrapped around a grey rod, fingers posed as if tapping, thumb not visible.

3: Cupped with wrist straight, tilted so that the index is farthest forward, followed by thumb and middle, ring, and pinkie.

4: Leaning on a grey ledge, thumb pointing one way and remaining fingers pointed another.

5: Hanging limp, fingers pointed down and bent slightly.

6: Cupped with a straight wrist.

7: Thrown outstretched, palm facing forward, wrist bent, hand tilted back, thumb relaxed.

8: Pointed upwards, wrist bent, fingers straight, thumb tucked behind index.

9: Lying flat and relaxed, horizontal.

10: Head on view; palm up, fingers separated and bent, curling upwards.

11: Fingers wrapped gently around something not shown, hand tilted so that the base of the hand is barely visible.

12: Hand posed as if recoiling; thumb outstretched, fingers bent, index separated from the rest.

13: Fist clenched in determination, wrist bent, angled so that the thumb is on top.

14: Pointed upwards, wrist and fingers straight.

15: Wrist bent, palm up, hand flat, fingers straight, thumb pointed upwards.

16: Palm up, fingers bent, each one closer to the palm as they move forward, from index to pinkie, thumb relaxed.

17: Wrist straight, palm forwards, fingers straight, thumb stiff.

18: Fist clenched, angled so that the thumb is to the side.

19: Fist clenched around a thin pole, thumb over the other fingers.

Second Image: A collage of screenshots of Vaggie’s hands, roughly in the same poses as my drawings of Dual’s. The one between 16 and 17 is crossed out, because I skipped that one. They are all left hands, except one which I had to flip.

Their positions, in correspondence with the numbers I used for Dual, are as follows:

1: Cupping Charlie’s face during their kiss in the More Than Anything reprise.

2: Gripping her arm tensely in reaction to Alastor’s commercial.

3: Cupping her hand over her chest.

4: Gripping the ledge of the balcony, leaning her weight on her hand.

5: At rest, hanging by her side.

6: Holding a video camera; this one was the right hand that I had to flip.

7: Thrown outwards, fingers outstretched, during Whatever It Takes

8: Clapping during Charlie’s sing-a-long game in episode 2

9: Lying flat on a table, over the piece of paper Adam sent during the trial in Heaven.

10: Contorted in anger, clenching around nothing.

11: Wrapped around Charlie’s waist as she carries her in episode 5.

12: Recoiling in shock after Alastor appears out of nowhere, interrupting her editing in episode 1.

13: Fist clenched in determination.

14: Hand flat on her face, fingers pressed to her temple in frustration; also in reaction to Alastor interrupting her editing in episode 1.

15: Shrugging, palm up, fingers straight.

16: Gesturing with her palm up and fingers bent.

Crossed out: Both hands cupped to her chest during Whatever It Takes.

17: Hand outstretched, palm forward, gesturing in indignation/frustration.

18: Fist clenched anxiously while attempting to wrangle Charlie at the beginning of Happy Day in Hell.

19: Gripping her spear while talking to Carmilla in episode 7.

The last two screenshots are wider, and show more of Vaggie than just her hands. // End ID]

[opbackgrounds]

What exactly had Oda 'not known to self-edit'? Cause I someone who DID drop the series during Punk Hazard, but binged is right before the you-know-what-reveal - it reads great at onces, though I can see why weekly readers suffer. I can't think of a single thing that's doesn't look like setup for later - so I'm curious, what's so unnecessary for you?

There are too many characters, mostly. There didn't need to be 9 samurai. There didn't need to be 7 Vegapunks. There didn't need to be 11 Supernovas. For every character Oda introduces, he must find a place for them, and this is both One Piece's blessing and its curse. It makes the world feel full and lived in, where no matter where you look there are other characters who could be the protagonists of their own story, but is also how you get Raizo spending 25 chapters fighting the long earlobe guy in what's ultimately a meaningless fight no one cares about. Oda himself acknowledged this when he (semi) lightheartedly said he wished he'd made fewer warlords, because then he wouldn't have to write stories for 7 different characters. It's a compounding problem that gets worse as the series gets longer, and Oda is forced to juggle more and more balls with varying success.

And even if that were not the case, there's a lot more fluff than the old days. I pointed this out during Water 7, but if you want an example of a tight arc look there. The gags and little character moments that are essential to the series are all there, but they're purposeful to the plot. There's not an ounce of fat in the whole arc, and it's largely regarded as one of the best in the series.

Compare that to Wano when you have entire chapters dedicated to the little fox spirit or Franky running around the city looking for blueprints to the mansion. They're fine in isolation, heart warming and funny respectively, but it's a lot of wasted pages for not a lot of purpose. A few such scenes sprinkled in sparingly can add flavor to the story, but too many grind the feeling of progress to a halt, and take away time from things that are more important to the plot and/or themes. Like, did you know Tama was a Kozuki? Putting that information in the manga itself would have done a lot to clear up the thematic confusion caused by Hiyori's speech at the end of the arc. But there was too much fluff and too many unimportant characters getting page time that that bit of info is regulated to an SBS where many fans will never see it.

[upsidedownsmore]

Hi!! I was wondering if its okay to ask what brushes u normally use in krita? I love your art!!

Thank you so much!!! I only use the ones available in Krita by default and I tend to jump around based on what I think will work best for each piece, but I can give a little rundown on which ones I use the most and what I use them for :)

Here's an image guide with each of the brushes I've used and that I recommend checking out:

I'll highlight my favorites as well with some examples where they were predominantly used! (though in some cases multiple or even all of these brushes were used)

Marker Details:

Varying opacity and size makes this one my favorites for sketching, especially since it can easily be nearly transparent or fully opaque which helps with value range.

I also like using it for silhouette sketches!

It can also be used for final linework, but it takes more work to get to a full opaque and its lack of texture makes it a little less interesting than Ink-7 Brush Rough imo.

Ink-7 Brush Rough:

Really good for linework, especially for comic styled drawings with it's slight texture, varying weight, and opaqueness.

Also good for just filling in entire areas with a single color as well as non-smoothed shading!

Wet Bristles Rough:

Actually just an amazing brush, its pressure sensitivity is crazy.

Blends strokes like paint and can vary in size and opacity.

Also has a nice subtle texture!

Amazing for smoother coloring and shading, especially if you want a more painterly style.

Watercolor Texture:

(hard to show examples of this, just assume that I've used it in any piece that has smooth shading lol)

Not the best for painting/drawing on its own, however I've found it to be really useful when set to white or black on an overlay layer for adding extra shading and/or highlighting on top of the shading I've already done.

I usually shade individual figures, objects, and parts separately, but using an overlay layer with Watercolor Texture (or even Shapes Square) on top of everything helps make the entire piece feel more cohesive.

Also adds a hint more texture!

Another thing to note is the importance of layer modes!

I know that you asked about brushes specifically, but many of these brushes (particularly those to do with effects and textures) work best when experimenting with different layer modes other than Normal. Overlay is generally a safe bet and most of the best for, well, overlaying multiple layers for interesting effects. But please try out all of them at any given opportunity, sometimes things like Burn, Color Dodge, Soft Light, etc can have more interesting effects!

In addition, mess with filter masks! You can even edit where they apply by drawing on the mask directly! HSV/HSL Adjustment (also accessible with ctrl+u) in particular is INSANELY useful for fiddling with the colors and balance of a piece, from individual layers to whole groups and drawings. I also really like blur filters, often times I'll duplicate a layer and make the bottom one blurred to add a glow affect to something without losing its definition.

While this latter stuff isn't about brushes specifically, its generally very important to how I use and experiment with all these different brushes!

Anyways I hope this helps!! I kinda went overboard with this post, but I had a lot of fun writing it! Thank you again for the wonderful ask!! :)

[uroboros-if]

A few things

Hi guys! Just wanted to drop by and say a few things 💕

One, I will no longer be using Wix for Uroboros, and instead will be using WordPress. This change will happen once I finish Chapter 2 to keep myself focused on priorities with the IF.

Two, I've been writing a lot of personal pieces and projects unrelated to Uroboros, but I've written a lot this past month!

A part of me is sad not to be writing on Uroboros, but I've decided to work on my writing discipline to write a couple thousand words everyday instead of worrying about editing. I hope to translate this skill to the development of Uroboros! November will be Uroboros-free for the time being, however.

I've also done this to not lose steam with Uroboros. A certain mental quirk I have is being dictated by my fixations, varying in length and intensity. While I still love Uroboros dearly as one of my first serious projects, I do not want to lose my excitement for it, and that means writing other personal pieces. ❤️

I've learned quite a bit about myself along the way. For some reason, Uroboros is taking extremely slow for me to write relatively; I used to churn out 2k words a day for any other story. Uroboros is a big departure from that, and even writing 300 words takes the soul from my body.

Another struggle I have is getting past the prologue and Chapter 1 in any story I write. With some excellent advice, I've realized it's because I'm hyperfocused on the plot itself. Plot is the building blocks, the foundation, but story is the tale of the characters themselves, and how they carry the readers through the dullest parts of the novel.

I truly needed a breather from stressing out about Uroboros' progress and its finer details. Stepping away from it has given me clarity and perspective, and I have also began to long to return to it. Distance makes the heart grow fonder!

I will most likely be posting the side project I've been working on, under a different name. It's completely and utterly different from Uroboros, and it targets a much different audience, hence why I want to keep my personas separate. I won't say what it is, however!! :)

It'll be a much, much quicker write than Uroboros, but my magnum opus will always be Uroboros, and I will not waste inspiration on anything else if I had it; it's mainly for days I cannot bring myself to be inspired, which are quite many. 🥺

Anyway, that was quite a ramble. I will hopefully see you guys soon!! 🥺💕💕 In commemoration of this mini update, I will break my rule and write a little for Uroboros today. 💕

[nomsfaultau]

I have had this question for a long time.. but I'm not quite sure if I actually want to know the answer because the only theories that come to my mind aren't very.. pleasant and would probably cause me to look at all honey with suspicion afterwards.

How does Fault!Tubbo make honey? How does it even work? Do they theoretically have a lot of tiny wax combs inside that get filled with honey like in a normal beehive? Are they just one big wax comb? If so, does that mean that their legs are basically full of honey? I am very confused and concerned.

You are correct introducing that they are made of a bunch of tiny honeycomb cells. They each have wax caps that contain it much like real honey comb. The flesh is also partly made of honey, obviously congealed and crystallized, bee wax, and well skin probably. It is somewhat melted and inconsistent, with holes that appear at time so that bees have exits. Honey is made in the same way that normal honeybees do, plus also the conversion of human food they ‘eat’ being made into honey. They can subsist on human levels of food input or less DEPENDING on the availability of flowers and how large a hive population there is. Before the Foundation the population was in the million range, and Tubbo spends most of Fault with varying levels below their typical population. This general decreases the amount of food they need, but makes moving the body tiring especially when they can’t rely on walking, since the lower parts of the body support the upper ones weight.

A diagram of the skin and how it transitions to comb. This is lovely diagram provided by Dr. Blake in Excerpts from the SCP Foundation, a short collection of lab reports, contracts, security transcripts, and character POV. The dermis is 1-4 mm and the cells 4-8 mm or so. There are holes in the dermis where cell intrudes, allowing outward passage.

Tubbo is in fact hollow inside when not filled with bees. They can feel and inhabit separate pieces of themselves, and move them as all their motion is done via bees inside moving sheets of comb. It is not fully connected honey comb since then their joints wouldn’t work. This photo is from Casefiles: as edited by Tommy and Tubbo wherein they find and ahm correct the files the Foundation has created, plus some admittedly old drawings of them (since Tommy can only do stick figures)

And as for your last question, honey does not collect in Tubbos’ legs because they don’t have any!

(Actually it’s the wax capping but when the joke opportunity presents itself..)

[1425fivefive]

Hiii i’ve just binged all the afterburn snippets u posted (no idea why tumblr hid these from my timeline btw kinda mad about that) and im feeling feral! U don’t know just how excited i am for it!! It reminded me of learned behavior and honestly who cares about a uni degree and quizzes and shit when i could spend my time rereading and analysing every sentence in that masterpiece of literature!

I was just curious, since you’re a writer i look up to as one of the best in fandom space in general, what’s your writing process? Like do you just get a vague idea and build it up as you write with more vague ideas of how it’s supposed to go? Do you make a proper outline and plot out scenes and major plot points/character arcs? Like what is your writing/editing process?

I’m just curious to know tbh i myself have been writing in fandom for a few years now but i feel really stuck and frustrated where i am, so when i see writing as good as yours i am in awe and wanna like dissect ur brain (in not a creepy way i swear!)

Sorry for the long ask and you don’t have to answer but thank youuu for writing for this fandom <3

hi!! this ask is so lovely, i love talking about the writing process

for me, it really varies by fic. most of the time when i'm writing a short fic (capybara cupid, intricate rituals), i'll have a premise or a line of dialogue, and then i'll just see where the fic takes me. i don't have any outline or "plan" going in other than wanting to explore a particular concept or theme. i'll maybe do one edit for spelling mistakes/grammar and then hit post

with long fics, it's very different. i'll talk about afterburn just because that's the one that's freshest in my brain. i went in knowing i wanted to write about (1) oscar signing a long-term contract with mclaren and (2) lando leaving for ferrari right before 2028. i then sat with it and thought ok, why does lando leave. what happens over 2025-2027 that leads him to the point where he'd actually be ready to leave. and i started thinking through championships and races and oscar's characterization more, and then i started writing with a vague idea of the major "scenes." i knew abu dhabi 2026 and singapore 2027 was going to be big races right from the start. i knew something happened at zandvoort in 2027. but the specifics were sort of vague to me. once i start writing, usually, i get a much clearer idea of everyone's dynamics and how a particular scene will work. often i end up abandoning certain pieces of dialogue i'm really attached to just because once i actually start writing, the dialogue doesn't fit with the characterization. i'm extremely, extremely ruthless in cutting things i think aren't working

anyway, once i have like 60-70% of the fic done, i start going through and editing more substantively. i'll move scenes around, scrap scenes, add new ones where i think they're needed. i think it's really important to let go of things that feel "wrong" even if you like the writing or scene conceptually. just put it in another tab of your gdoc and save it there. you can come back to it later and maybe rework it into something that suits the fic

i also think it's really valuable to think about paring your writing back to its essentials. so often i see fics that are extremely long where essentially nothing happens. that's totally fine if that's what the author's going for, but i think trying to get your writing "punchier" is a good exercise in figuring out what words you "need" to tell a story. i was talking with a friend recently about how i try to stay away from metaphors and similes most of the time because i think it slows down pacing and often dips into cliché

so anyway, my writing process for long fics is: premise -> vague ideas of scenes -> start writing -> start writing a more detailed outline -> keep writing -> read through the fic to figure out if scenes are working/what needs to be deleted or added -> keep writing -> final edit

i hope this is helpful-ish!

[circusfable]

What is your favorite party of writing a fic? Is it getting the idea, planning out how it'll go, the actual writing process, etc? I only know your ISAT fics, but considering how varied the ideas are between each one has me curious as to your writing process!

Oooh this is a hard question. I could make an argument for most parts of the writing process being my favorite. The only part I dislike is editing, specifically for longer fics since it requires so many rereads and the longer I stare at the same scene the worse it sounds. The age old issue of being a writer 😔

But if I had to pick a favorite for the purposes of this question I guess the actual writing of the fic. I don’t outline very extensively in the planning phase of most fics. I tend to get an idea, share it with my server maybe discuss it a little bit to get a more solid idea of what exactly I’m planning to write before starting. So I end up weaving the story together as I’m writing and it’s very fun to figure how to tie two pieces together or figuring out what direction I want to take a scene. (The one big exception to this is Put Out the Stars that had extensive planning and editing and rewriting and— there are 15k words of cut sections from the draft) It’s also very fun to write a line that I know will cause major psychological damage on my readers :) the joys of writing angst lmao.

I do love a good long brainstorming session although those sometimes hinder my writing process more than help it since once all the ideas are out there my brain like to go “welp you’ve told the story so now you’re done” kfjdjfhsjd but hearing everyone’s ideas in relation to what I set on the table is so fun! It also helps to give me ideas I otherwise would not have come up with! Crown of Fools (that will hopefully update soon 🤞) would not exist without brainstorm sessions so shoutout to my fellow freaks <3

As for how I get the ideas themselves often times they’re inspired by something else I’ve read/listened to/watched/etc. For my horror/gore works specifically many are inspired by the Magnus archives and the way Jonny Sims writes gore— his imagery is so vivid I very much look up to him for that. But as for what I specifically inflict on the characters is just me having the thought of “wouldn’t it be fucked up if” and then running with it.

Change Your Mind was an idea given to me by my friend Mara who mentioned giving Siffrin a lobotomy but not wanting to write it and I was like dong worry I gottchu. The smut works are inspired by other fics I’ve read in previous fandoms mostly or just whatever perverted thought gets beamed into my brain or art I see on bluesky or things people say in my server that summon the demons until I write them. Put Out the Stars was inspired by a few deadfrin aus on here & a fic in another fandom that is the only fic to ever make me actually cry, but mostly just my deranged love of major character death stories. We love having a wide range of stories in this house it helps keep me sane lmao.

[beepbananabus]

First off, I love your fic and your art. Hopefully you don't mind me asking but is there a particular reason why you write Vanoss to have a toxic household? Or I guess childhood and is that going to become more in the future?

Thank you!! It means a lot to me <3

For the latter part, it turned so much longer than I thought it would be so I’m shelving it under this cut.

To address the question: I wouldn’t think of it as a toxic childhood, as that definition can vary heavily between people, but certainly a burdening one. It is also important to mention that this is speculative fiction that is built off of limited information that could be made up. This is not truth, merely something that I thought was interesting for the story.

And to answer the question:

Now, this conclusion comes from both personal experience (having been from an Asian household with very traditional views (similar to what Evan most likely would’ve experienced)) and little comments that he or his friends have made on it.

I’m aware that not every family is the same, but from a cultural perspective, there’s a higher discipline when it comes to Asian families, especially when it comes to education, something that Evan has stated that he’s had difficulties with when it came to his parents.

(sources: cbc and wikipedia respectively)

It is more common for more harmful dynamic to be instilled than the average white family. Due to the traditional nature, it's harder for them to come to terms, especially when it comes to addressing possible generational trauma.

About his friend’s comments:

Marcel has described his childhood as scathingly “quiet” after Evan made a mention about how he doesn’t like shouting. After Marcel said that, Evan went eerily quiet. Which is interesting because, in contrast to his friends, when Evan gets genuinely upset, he goes quiet as opposed to getting loud. He’s done it when he blew up at Ninja.

Something about this comment has hit a chord with Evan. He doesn't like that this part of him has been called out. He's quick to come back but there's this cut in the footage to imply that the silence had lasted for longer than what the video shows. The fact that it was also edited out of Evan's video shows that it was one of those moments that he didn't like having it in.

There have also been tweets from Evan which sheds a bit more light on how his relationship with his parents are.

(note the separation of himself from his folks)

tl;dr they don't have the best of relationships with each other and based on how asian family cultures generally are + interactions and comments from his friends, they're strained at best. there's most likely a bunch of conflicts between them.

And for the latter part of the question:

Yes and no. There's going to be mentions of them, but they won't have an actual appearance in Gay Chicken, no.

Once again, THIS IS FOR A FICTIONAL PIECE OF WRITING.

[ahyperactivehero]

hello! hope you're doing well!

for the fic writing ask game:

😠🎀🦉

(hope 3 isn't too much. I would have asked more tbh lol)

hello there, friend! 3 is definitely not too much!

😠- whats your least favorite part of your writing process?

editing! I know it's what makes the work actually, you know, work, but God do I hate doing it. I do love seeing everything come together, but it's probably the part that takes the longest for me.

🎀- how do you decide when something is done?

Hmm. I feel like it varies from work to work, but I tend to look at it and ask myself: Did I accomplish what I wanted with the work? Would there be any more questions at the end of it? And does it make sense? If I have the right answers to all of those, then I tend to decide it's done.

(I also tend to ask myself if I'm sick of it. If I am, then it's time to move on to something else lol)

🦉- give yourself some writing advice

The advice I gave when Gen asked this question was to "just write." But another piece of advice I have is to fucking read. I tend to have two modes: read everything or write everything. So when I get hung up on writing something, I switch over and start reading.

Thank you for the asks!! <3 <3 <3

[tpher]

how do you make your oc screencap edits?? i also have a td oc and i dont really know where to start 😭

ok so!!! i use firealpaca which is just my usual drawing program. so i'll keep using it as a reference for my steps but of course im sure whatever similar program u use should have similar features

i'll be long winded for funsies as usual 💕

FINDING YOUR SCREENSHOTS

the key to decent td edits is to flat out trace screenshots whenever possible. stock pics will do, but of course itll be a lot more fun and less obvious if u use a screenshot from the show and put it into your new context

in terms of making your ocs, you will likely have to do what someone once called "frankensteining" your pics. this is where you use pics of other characters for their specific features and put them together since your oc doesnt have official screenshots to trace. this also absolutely comes in handy w canon characters! maybe you have a pose but u need them to be sitting. so try to stitch together two different pics to get what u need

it will look very scary but just trust the process. here is a random example i made using a dawn screenshot (where i removed the background), gwens eyes and eyebrows, and kittys hair

the sketching part is semi-optional. if you think you can freehand the lineart then go ahead but i assume your oc wont be a complete copy of something found in canon and therefore you will have to draw the newer/different features (such as the hair or the outfit) at least a little bit. and sometimes when i frankenstein the pics, my brain gets all overwhelmed so sketching makes me feel better jfbdjdnd

(in terms of my own oc, i screwed myself over bc his body type is so unique i gotta freehand it like all the time 😭

you can see i traced his head from his render (ALWAYS DO THIS BTW!!! TRACE CONSTANTLY), but then the body was freehanded using a canon pic as reference because tracing the pic wouldve been inaccurate)

THE LINEART

yes the iconic td thick, sharp, flat lineart. i achieve this by using a normal pen tool, turning off the pen pressure, and then turning up my pen stability to 40-60 (very high). you could use a curve tool if that works for you! but i would suggest against that for ALL of it bc the tool just wont respond well to rly drastic curves and such

the pen size varies on the pic. if the characters are close-up, itll likely be a bigger one. and then the characters' little details and facial features are usually a slightly but definitely noticeable smaller size. for the most part, ive had the bigger pen size at 13 while the details are around 9. or big size 10 and smaller size 7.

heres my technique:

as u can see, all of my lines go a bit too far. this is so that when im done drawing them, i can go back in and slowly erase where they meet and get them all sharp and pointy. this is just how i personally do it lmao. when it comes to facial features and other stuff that doesnt connect to anything, just get a close look at your reference to see how thick or how thin the edges get and do ur best to erase the edges to the point where they should be

THE COLORING

not much to it! the bucket tool is the best way to go. again just get a good look at your references just in case any parts have the lineart also colored in

THE BACKGROUND

you can find some generic td background pics on google or u could get them from the show and try to erase any character in the way lmao. if ur recreating something like, say, a dunc/ney scene w a different ship, then its very tedious but youll have to do your best to erase the canon characters and piece the background back together.

i like using the smudge tool a lot for this!!! just kinda pulling whats already there towards the characters. to save time, put your drawing visible on a top layer as you do this so that you dont have to edit the ENTIRE background, just what you need

THE RENDERING

ok so heres a big one imo. after youre done, youre gonna have to fuck up the quality at least a little. well not that u HAVE to but like..... to match the standard quality of a td screenshot? ive never seen a td screenshot in perfect hd quality outside of stock art. so u could blur ur drawing just a little bit. maybe add in the teeniest bit of chromatic aberration (just set it to 1 or -1). not ALL of them together but u do whatever u gotta do

my personal favorite is blurring just a little and then saving it as a jpeg (around 65-80%) so that its pretty crunchy and looks all the more real

obviously not a NECESSARY step but just something to point out. especially if ur background isnt the best quality so the characters have to match it

this one from yesterday i didnt even redraw topher bc i was lazy and he looks fine enough. i just put danny onto the pic to cover the other character. so i blurred danny a little bit and then saved it in a pretty low quality so that they match one another. look at those pixels. that crunch.

SO THE TLDR IS just trace and copy your references as close as possible. if you cant find a reference for your character, try finding another character w something close enough