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#how more difficult do you want to be drawn i love you
machveil · 17 hours
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Beautiful, cute, dulzura, A quick question, do you have any advice for drawing? I see your drawings and I just fell in love with them, I just started drawing again but it's difficult...
I don't know, sorry, English is not my first language, using translator jiji 🤎🍁
(note: this post is long, grab a snack lol) ah! no problem, don’t worry about the translator haha (pinterest link - this is my masterboard for human references! I’ll talk about it more below)
I think my best advice for anyone wanting to draw is to break down your piece into shapes! (also, depending on your style, using different line weights)
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from my experience, while looking at the whole reference is good, it’s easier to break down individual parts! while some parts can look complicated, a lot of things can be broken down into triangles, squares, and circles (or half circles)
I focus on character art, so I’ll be speaking about that - but it can applied to scenery and objects too. a lot of characters clothes are broken up into colored articles already - in the top reference, Ghost has a red bandanna on his arm! that bandanna helps break up his arm: the top near his shoulder is triangular, the bandanna itself is overall rectangular, and the bottom of his sleeve is a square
of course, depending on how you’re posing the character it can change the angle of what we’re seeing - there’s also an accommodation that your art probably won’t be a 1-to-1 copy with your reference. Ghost’s right arm (bandanna) has a white rolled up sleeve - while the model’s sleeve is square, I prefer to draw rolled sleeves more triangular
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I think line weight is also important depending on your style! I prefer thicker lines around the entire character, and defining qualities also get thicker lines
I like thinner lines inside the character to help define dimensional shape and form. I use thicker lines on the inside of the body if there’s a shape/area that’s more in the foreground - example: König’s chest and midsection have thick line art to help differentiate from his left arm (behind his body)
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I know a common piece of advice is to use real life references, and I agree… but, I never hear people talk about how to use references in a way that actually helps (“just draw from real life”, or “drawing with a reference is good practice”). I experienced that and wasn’t able to take anything away for years!
within the past year or so I seriously took a look at how using references can help me, so I want to try and talk about that - if I had trouble learning from references I’d wager someone else has
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here’s my best example of using a reference because I actually remembered to! I labeled the figure to make it a little easier to follow
(1) my first tip is using a reference to figure out how the body ‘flows’. the human body has a lot of soft, rounded lines when you look at a picture - very few things are legitimately straight and sharp. I used the reference specifically to figure out how men’s pecs are shaped (of course, this is just one reference… because this is my headcanon for König’s body type haha)
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(1) looking at references can help you understand how muscles move. in the reference with the woman, you notice how her right arm (down) muscles are layered - the shape portrayed by the reference lets you see how an arm’s muscles might be laid out in that position
(2) my second tip from the König reference is to look at negative space! the highlighted red portion between the arm and midsection is roughly the same negative space as the reference. if you’re using a reference and something feels off with the placement of what you’ve drawn I’d recommend looking at the space your reference takes up
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(2) the negative space trick helps me line up where proportions should meet up - the distance between her arms lets me gauge how the rest of her body should be proportioned
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(2) while it doesn’t match up 1-to-1 with the reference when layered overtop, it doesn’t have to! the negative space between the arms was enough for the sketch to mimic what the reference looks like. art doesn’t have to be a 1-to-1, but negative space can help you figure out ‘why does that arm look funny?’, “that arm looks funny because, compared to the negative space of your reference, it’s too (far away/close) to the body.”
(3) my last tip is the simplest, so I’ll just be referring to the König figure! when using references I look to gauge the distance between different body parts - it helps me get more realistic proportions. the bit I specifically compared to was the man’s stomach placement compared to his waist. I didn’t copy it 1-to-1 because I like the idea König has more of a tummy, but the reference allowed me to figure out an anatomical placement for where König’s stomach would be compared to his waist
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I hope my advice wasn’t terrible haha everyone’s art journey is different, but these are tips I would have liked to know a few years ago (specifically the reference material ones lol). I wanted to focus more on the reference material because when people say ‘just use a reference, it’ll help’ it didn’t do it for me
I personally needed a more in depth explanation on why I would use a reference, what should I be looking at - because just drawing a person doesn’t necessarily help, and how should I be learning from it - I accidentally taught myself negative space before I knew what it was
but uhm… yeah, I hope this wasn’t awful! good luck on everyone’s art journeys, just remember that you’re allowed to take your time and try different things
if you guys have any other questions about my art feel free to jump into my inbox; process wise, inspiration, etc - I’ll answer anything I can<3
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witchdisk · 5 hours
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Skin Removal Sep 17 Postmortem
A few days ago I performed another skin removal procedure. (See #skin removal for more) Here's a writeup of some of the things we learned this time.
The #10 scalpel blade is useful for long+thin removals because the blade is longer. This lets us do the sort of "long, loving cuts" while pulling up the skin, under tension, using the full length of the blade. This is faster than the #15, but you still want that one for precision at the beginning and end.
For this design, there were certain cuts which we wanted to be along the same line, like the edges of the eyelashes:
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When doing the procedure, I did each of the eyelashes separately, so I did these cuts at different times. I should have used the sterile ruler that comes packaged with the surgical skin pens and made these cuts all at the same time. This would have helped make sure they're in line.
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This time I used sterile dermal curettes to even out the depth after removing the skin. This was a great idea and it made this step so much easier. I used the 4mm curette for this procedure, and I only needed one. I will be recommending this going forward. Here's the tool and me using it:
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Have multiple sets of splinter forceps!! (Or whatever your main forceps are.) I had backup adson and hemostatic forceps, but I was acutely aware the procedure would get a lot harder if I dropped my tools. This isn't relevant if you have a flash sterilizer, but those are kind of expensive.
Ask your subject what kind of communication they want from you! This time, xe said "if you had told me [we're halfway done] I don't think I would have been able to finish." Good thing I didn't do that!
EMLA cream (lidocaine 2.5%/prilocaine 2.5%) is quite useful to help those with a lower pain tolerance. It pretty much eliminated the pain from the cutting, but not all the sensations (e.g. skin being pulled up, felt sense of something wrong ("felt like something i could not perceive but my body was reacting to"). I have some prescribed because I've been scared of needles, and the numbing helps with getting blood drawn.
We already know this, but just to reiterate: it's important to get the correct depth on the guiding lines. The skin should separate, like this:
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Using sterile bordered gauze + hydrogel for the wound dressing did not work this time. It dried on the wound, and removing the bandage to clean resulted in mechanical debridement. This hurt a lot and irritated the wound in ways that we hadn't planned for. Using tegaderm initially, like we did two times ago, was also not ideal because it resulted in a big gross bubble of exudate. Something in-between these is required, but I'm not sure what. It should stay moist, but still be relatively absorbent. Tegaderm+pad, for the occlusiveness? Recs here appreciated. Pigeon reported it used a bunch of saline to soak the area to help with this, but there were still some issues.
The lines ended up thicker than in the design. We think this is mainly because skin tension pulled the cuts open. This may be mitigated by wound contraction during healing; we will measure how it ends up vs the desired width to determine that. See this video of me removing a full section to see what I mean.
The loupe glasses!! As seen below. These were some cheap ones I got off amazon, but were actually super helpful. They didn't really improve my posture, and my back still hurts >.< However, they did help me see details a lot better. If I keep doing this I will consider getting a better pair. They gave me a headache after about 30 minutes while practicing, but were totally fine during the procedure. Unsure why!
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I need to work on my aseptic technique. I was not adequately monitoring for reaching over the sterile field. My gloves should have covered my sleeves, but there was bare skin exposed. My gown was not sterile (haven't found sterile ones for a reasonable price) and it probably touched the drape a few times. The sterilization pouches I used were difficult to use for the bowls I had - difficult to get them out easily, difficult to load in the pressure cooker. I should really look into getting a secondhand rigid sterilization container. Last I remember, the difficulty was finding filters for these. Maybe I wasn't looking in the right place, or maybe I could make my own (tyvek? like the mushroom growers use...).
My informed consent notes mention the risk of keloid scarring, with a note this is 15x more likely on darker skin. I don't have a source cited for this, and so I don't know how this applies to black vs brown skin. This would have been useful to know!
Needed to print/laminate the handwash/handrub posters.
Re-affirmed a lot of things we already learned. Full-depth removal is the way to go. Ensure guiding lines are deep enough. #11 blade for short/straight lines, #15 for removal, and having separate scalpel handles for each is good.
Dumb one, but having a bunch of tiny individually wrapped gauze pads is annoying as hell. I picked up some bigger ones, we will see if those are what is needed or if I need to find packs of multiple smaller ones.
I'm gonna give it one more go, but I don't actually think pig skin is ideal to practice on, mostly due to the lack of blood/lack of elasticity. Much more difficult to determine the appropriate layer to separate skin at, compared to live human skin. Would appreciate other recommendations here for practice materials...
Okay, I think that's about all the thoughts I want to write out now! I will meld these notes with my existing ones soon, and get those published. As always pls hmu if you want to talk about this, especially if you have experience.
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teabookgremlin · 1 year
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really hate that any time someone seems slightly upset with me i cry
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skinnymeanfaggot · 11 months
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also
#im making huge huge changes in my life and i think the next logical step would be to cut off jamie. ive already been ghosting him but thats#just me avoiding the problem. i just like. it feels fucked to be like hey i told you i was ok with what you did but i Changed my mind#i just think like. i have next to no contact with him and i feel fucking fantastic. we talk like every couple months on the rare occurrence#he can text and then i answer in vague short sentences and ghost. and now that i finally have firm boundaries with him and havent engaged#with him sexually its like. i feel like basically all my ties are cut. and i feel like im ready to let go for the first time. like ive#always felt like i just wasnt ready but now i like i Am ready its just a matter of like. doing it. thats difficult. even though i know hell#accept it because hes matured. and like. idk. i think its fine like this#and idk i think its fine like this. being the absolute barest form of acquaintances. i cannot stress how little we interact and how little#affect he has on my life at this point outside of what happened in the past. like i am in a good place he is 99% cut off i just need to do#the last bit. but like also fuck. you know. its hard to kinda finish it off. and its also like ooh it would hurt his feelings but now i#fucking. dont care lol. after everything. with blue i realize every day just how much more respected i feel and less gross and shitty#even with being jamies friend which we never were because whenever i was single we were sexual. i just felt bad. i never wanted to fuck#either. and he would say he loved me and id be like hahaha yeahhhh and now that ive finally drawn that boundary and said he cant do that#anymore i feel so much lighter and i just feel so happy and safe with blue in a way ive never felt with jamie and its like. im almost there#i feel like i might be able to cut him off by the end of the year. and thats crazy to me. i just also have a lot of like shit to unpack#in general too also. with what he did. and i just have a lot. but i feel like im progressing
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katszumi · 3 months
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Studying with bakugo is almost NEVER studying with bakugo. The mf can yell at you to pay attention all he wants but a few seconds of it and you’re already back to yapping about the latest drama. Drawing little doodles on your paper (and a few on his) while you tell him about how kuroiro finally confessed to Komori from class 1b, and although he doesn’t like to admit it he’s paying more attention to your yapping then his studying. (Your the only person who can do that)
i hope i did your ask justice😔 this is the first one i’ve done, but thank you sm for requesting. and gosh, i love silly highschool romance sm REQUEST MORE PLS
sorta linked to this but can def be read as a standalone
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“did you hear about kuroiro’s confession today?” you asked. you were laid on bakugou’s room floor, your notebook wide open with a few math equations along with a dozen of doodles.
you just asked him another silly question, one of the countless ones that you’ve already made in a hour.
bakugou already knew that you were a sociable person from the way you find a new person to talk to everyday, but he didn’t expect you to be this talkative.
truth be told, you’ve talked more than you have actually studied. which was the main reason why you had come to his room at nearly eight o’clock at night, close to his bedtime.
he only accepted the late study session was because the other reason for you to come was so he could speak with you privately. this was the best way he could do it secretly without being found out.
bakugou looked up from his textbook, directly at you. “no. not that i even care about that stuff anyway.”
your chin rested in the palm of your hand, silently drumming your fingers against your cheek.
“it’s hilarious though, cmon!” you pleaded with a small smile on your face.
“we’re supposed to be studying, y/n. did you forget that you didn’t exactly ace that test?” he rhetorically asked.
you pursed your lips together in a thin line, looking away from bakugou and back onto your textbook. you were dumb enough to even think you could gossip with bakugou.
he offered to help you study, not to bond more as friends clearly.
you picked up your pencil and began to write the equation that was written in the hardbook next to you.
hearing that there was no response from you, bakugou internally began to slightly panic. it was never like you to just shut up so easily. he couldn’t help but come to the conclusion that he came off too rude.
it’s not that he didn’t want to hear you speak, he just didn’t want to make his crush on you so obvious. he was trying so hard to be his normal self which was much harder towards you than he thought.
bakugou placed his textbook down, leaning back into the palm of his hands behind him. “what did that extra do?”
almost immediately, you released the pencil that was in your hand and made eye contact with the ruby eyed male in front of you. a smile tugged on your lips, one that bakugou couldn’t help but think was so fuckin’ cute.
“he made her a bouquet of mushrooms, because you know, her whole mushroom quirk thing. he tried to give it to her discreetly but someone walked past and made it a whole big deal.” you described. “honestly, i feel bad cause i think they’re both kinda shy. they probably didn’t want that attention.”
bakugou unknowingly listened to every word of yours, feeling himself being drawn into you. what was it about your voice that made it so compelling for him?
if it were anyone else like stupid shitty hair or raccoon eyes, he’d shut it down immediately, not caring about a single word they had to say about it.
but, he found it a little more difficult than usual to refuse when it came to you.
he snickered. “public confession? what a romcom move of him.”
you looked back down, noticing bakugou’s blank paper. out of boredom, you grasped onto his notebook. you started to doodle on the small square in the upper left corner; a couple of hearts, stars, dots to make it less bland.
“i think it was sweet. it’s hard to confess already, but to do it in front of an audience? takes guts honestly.”
bakugou watched you draw on his paper. he felt a little jump in his heart, some part of him liking the fact that you took initiative to add your own touch to something of his.
something so stupid. so small. but he couldn’t help but feel a tad giddy.
bakugou sat upright, gulping nothing but his own saliva. “is that something you would like?”
at first, bakugou curses at himself. why would he ask something like that? something that could definitely give away his small crush on you. but he remained his same stone-cold look.
you looked up at bakugou, noticing his eyes softening slightly before returning to their original position.
you thought about it long before responding. “nah. don’t think that’s something i’d really prefer. i’d like a simple confession with just the two of us.” you described.
it seemed a little weird to you that you were casually speaking of your own relationship preference with bakugou, but you tried your hardest not to think too much about it.
you assumed he was only trying to make small talk.
“good.” again, with bakugou’s one worded response. even though he didn’t add more to his sentence, his eyes lingered with yours. as if he was deciding something or carefully analyzing you. but it was a different look. not a competitive, angry look. but rather a tender look. one you have never seen bakugou wear, ever.
suddenly, he looked away, back onto his textbook. you seemingly didn’t mind considering the small tingle you were receiving in your face.
bakugou looked over his shoulder, begging to anyone even the gods above to remove the deep-set blush that was occurring on his face.
the male cleared his throat. “alright, let’s fuckin’ study. gossipin’ and yappin’ won’t help you get a better damn test score.” he chose the defensive route to move on.
you silently agreed with a nod. but, your mind goes back to the thought that you successfully just gossiped with the katsuki bakugou. the one that’s listed to only care about being the number one hero.
you bit the inside of your cheek to hide a smile as you tapped your pencil against your notebook.
just now, a kaleidoscope of butterflies slipped through the cracks of your stone wall, entering your stomach, and began to harvest a life within that had bakugou’s name branded on it.
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lymtw · 1 month
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the toji and his shy girl stuff is soooooo good like serious amazing. I WAS WONDERING IF you could do toji and his shy girl teaching her how to suck his dick or something like that?? pls and thanks🤗🤗
A/N: EEHEE, thank you! 🫶🏼 Of course I can write this out!(Please don't look at me after reading 🫣) Anyways, thank you for sending in this request 💙
Toji and his shy girl...
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"Toji?" You call, looking up from where your cheek rests on his thigh. He seems like he's very deep in thought, just staring straight ahead with the smallest crease between his brows. You tap his stomach, and the sudden contact manages to snap him out of his trance.
"Hm?" He looks down at you, like he's lost on the conversation that hasn't taken off, yet.
"You okay?" You ask, rubbing his thigh in an attempt to comfort him. He knows he shouldn't be so turned on by such a lighthearted gesture, yet he's finding it so difficult to keep something at bay.
"Yeah... Yeah, i'm okay, baby. You need something?" He looks down at you, attempting to ignore the way his dick jumps at the position you're resting in.
"No, I'm okay. Do you need something?" you return, your expression still somewhat concerned.
"Don't worry, doll, it's nothing important." He smiles at your attempt to figure out what's going on and cups your cheek with one of his hands, loving the warmth and color that spreads beneath his palm.
"Well... you always help me with unimportant things. Can I try something unimportant with you?" Your brows crease a little when you think back to what you just said. It sounded dirty, and you didn't intend for it to come off that way. "Oh, that came out wrong." You laugh, nervously.
"You're okay, baby. Try again." His eyes are lidded as he continues brushing your cheek with his thumb, the rest of his fingers feeling up the side of your neck and the underside of your jaw.
"I just wanna help you," you mumble, derailing your gaze from his intense, darkening one. You have this feeling in your gut that it's lust that changed his demeanor, but you've never liked assuming things like this. You prefer to hear him say that he needs you or to let his hands communicate and lead his desire for you, so that you know for certain.
"You're such a sweet girl," he says, his voice low and borderline sultry. "Got the prettiest eyes, the cutest nose, and those lips? Mmm..." He sighs, completely drawn to the warm and soft feeling of them against the pad of his thumb as he traces them. "They're perfectly suited for me."
Your heart is racing. Your gut is proving to be correct about this moment. He has this look in his eyes that makes your chest feel tight and his voice is like drizzling honey when he speaks to you.
"You really wanna help me out?" His eyes flit up to look at yours. He can't help the sly grin that appears when you nod, hesitantly. "Be sure about it, mama."
"I-I do. I want to help you. Anything you want or need."
"And if I said I need your pretty mouth?"
This stuns you into silence. You can't formulate a response quick enough to shut down his doubt of you meaning it when you said 'anything'.
"It's okay, doll." His gaze softens, the lust still evident in the way he hasn't released your cheek. "Don't worry about-"
"I don't know how to do it," you cut in. "Sorry," you mumble, recognizing the rudeness of your interruption.
He snickers. You're too polite for your own good. "That's alright. Be more clear, for me. You don't know how to do what?"
This is when things get hard. When Toji asks you to explain yourself during moments of intimacy. When he asks you to tell him what you want or when he knows you have questions about things you've never done before, like now. You freeze up. You don't know how he manages to say such vulgar things to you with so much confidence.
You groan, embarrassed, your flushed cheeks hidden as you pull away from his hand and bury your face into his thigh. "I don't wanna say it," you mumble.
"You're gonna have to put it into words for me, pretty." He grins like a menace. He knows exactly what you mean, but he gets a kick out of making you speak up about these topics. He finds it extremely hot when your soft spoken self verbalizes sexual things.
"Talk to me," he says, tapping your head when you go silent.
You sigh, wishing it was possible for him to read your mind. You try to get the words out in your own simplified way and hope it's enough for Toji.
"Can you guide me? On how to... suck your..." you huff, frustrated by how hard it is to explain exactly what you're talking about. You're not even looking at him and it's still proving to be a challenge. "...you know?"
"My dick?" He says, smoothly.
You nod your head against his thigh, humming to confirm, with so much relief at knowing he understood what you meant.
"Ask properly," he challenges, and your heart drops. He's playing with your hair, twirling a lock between his finger as he waits for you to talk.
"Toji, please. I can't."
"How are you gonna feel comfortable with me instructing you on how to do it, when you can't even say it? Try for me, baby."
You go silent, again, for a few more seconds, subconsciously rubbing the outer part of his thigh. You muster all the courage you have to ask the sinister question. After all, they're just words. The real nerves will appear once you start acting on your words.
"Can you teach me how to suck... your dick?"
"Good girl," he praises. "Now finish that off, nicely."
"Please?" It comes out meek due to the racing in your heart and the tightness returning in your chest.
"Mhm. Of course, my pretty girl." That smirk you know of all too well returns as he releases the lock of your hair he had wrapped around his finger. "You wanna lift your head and look at me? Wanna get a look at your pretty face."
You feel way too light as you lift yourself off of him, but nonetheless, you sit up straight and reveal your flustered state to him.
"Oh, you're so cute. Come here," he says beckoning for you to come even closer. He watches as you crawl towards him, minimizing the space between you two.
You take note, up close, of the way his scar lifts with that smile that drives you crazy. You feel jittery as you practically sit on his lap, feeling his bulging hard on poke you through his pants.
"Yeah, you feel that, don't you?" He thinks the way you nod in response is precious. His blunt nails run up and down your clothed back, making goosebumps rise on your skin. "It's all for you, ma. You did this."
With those final words, he pulls you in for a kiss. It's slow enough to allow you to melt into it, giving you a chance to move your lips along with his. The little breaths through your nose have him scrunching the back of your shirt into his tight fists, partially lifting the hem and revealing small areas of your skin. Your arousal skyrocketed, and you can physically feel it through the wetness collecting in your panties. A few breaths leave him when you start squirming on top of him, giving his hard cock some much desired stimulation.
He breaks the kiss, chuckling when you whine after chasing another kiss and being met with air.
"You ready?" He asks, lifting you off his lap and setting you down between his legs. He smiles at the cute pout and flourished color on your kissed up lips. You just got into kissing him, fully and comfortably reciprocating the kisses, and now you're jumping into learning how to suck him off. To say you're nervous is an understatement.
All of these feelings, just for you to nod and respond with a less than confident, "Yeah."
"You'll be okay. I won't be rough with you." The urge he felt to say 'this time' was immense, but he didn't want to scare you off from this, so instead he pinched your cheek, a loving gesture that brought a soft smile to your face.
You sit back like an obedient puppy and watch as he unbuttons and unzips his jeans. Already, just through the small glimpse you have of his bulge peeking out through the split of his zipper, you can see the way his cock is trying to jump out of his boxer briefs. You can't lie, not even to yourself, the sight has you throbbing. His pants are off and you can clearly see the monster he packs in all its glory, tenting through his briefs.
You let out a quiet sigh, squirming where you sit due to the throbbing you know won't be paid attention to anytime soon.
"You wanna take it out?" He asks, smirking at the way you're trying so hard not to look at his dick.
"Uh... yeah, okay." You're trying so hard to not come off as nervous, and failing miserably. The way your hands were clasped before you shakily and tentatively started reaching for him gave it away. You could feel him watching your face too. Those eyes, so focused on your every move that you felt like you were forgetting how to breathe. It all doubled down when you hooked your fingers into the thick band that cinched around his hips. Your knuckles grazed the warm skin of his lower abdomen and you let out the smallest breath before continuing.
Oh, how Toji loved watching your delicate self take charge of things. Even if he was instructing you, your hands were the ones doing all the roaming. He's simply a voice to your ears in this moment, while you do the experimenting.
He hums, relief seeping through him when you finally begin to release his cock out of its confines. The sound makes your eyes dart up towards him, meeting his once again dark gaze.
"Keep going, doll," he purrs, tucking some loose strands of hair behind your ear. You look down again, focusing on what your hands are doing as you keep pulling the front of his briefs down until his cock springs out and slaps against his clothed abdomen. "There you go," he says, loving the bewildered look on your face. He doesn't feel a bit of shame for the amount of precum he's leaking. Having your eyes on him as you wait for further instruction just encourages it.
"Lie down. Get comfortable."
You follow directions and lay between his legs. This position gives you a direct view of what will be in your mouth in just a few moments.
"Good girl. How 'bout you give it some kisses," he says, starting you off with something he thinks should be nice and easy.
"Kiss it?" You ask, feeling all the nerves rush you when he confirms with a hum. You simply look at it for a few seconds before leaning forward and placing a kiss on his shaft. "That's what you meant... right?" You ask, unsure of whether you're correctly following directions.
"Mhm," he assures. "Gonna need a lot of those."
You do as told and pepper kisses all over it, starting from the tip and trailing all the way down to the base. Every peck of your lips is soft. You look like an angel performing such an unholy act. You're so devoted to making sure you're doing this right that you don't pay any mind to the stickiness that occasionally connects you to his length through weak, thin strings.
Toji smiles as he watches you, his sweet girl, acting so dirty. Your lips are all wet as you kiss his length up and down, the tip of your nose gliding along. It's a view that has his dick throbbing as you continue on. He's pictured this scenario so many times, he's even had wet dreams that involve this exact sight, but he thought that's all they would ever be. That this vision would stay in his head. He never thought you'd actually be open to doing something like this. What a pleasure it turned out to have been wrong.
"You're doing so good, doll." He sighs, grinning with satisfaction at how well you listened. He cups your cheek, feeling the warmth of your skin beneath his palm. "Wanna use your tongue, now?"
You lick the excess off your lips, a gesture that wiped the smirk off Toji's face. He had to hold back a groan when you looked at him with those doe eyes of yours that struggled to hold his gaze. You had no idea the effect you had on him.
"Just my tongue?" You ask, readjusting your position.
"Yup. That's your next instruction from me."
You felt that surge of nerves from the beginning all over again. You felt incredibly hot, like you were melting on the spot, but again, you jumped into the moment. Your tongue darted out and you brought it up close to his cock. You licked along one of the veins that decorated it, tasting the slight saltiness of his skin.
This was more of a task on Toji, now. His level of restraint was being tested with every drag of your soft, warm and wet tongue. He'll never even attempt to consider the sight of you licking an ice cream cone or sucking on a popsicle, innocent, again.
You keep lapping at the same spot, and it's so inconvenient for him because it's a sensitive point. If you don't move on, there's a chance he might bust before you get him in your mouth. He has to redirect you.
"Make sure..." he pauses, not wanting to stutter over his words as you keep going. "Make sure your tongue goes over every inch, baby." He sighs, somewhat relieved when you move to another part. "Yeah, that's..." he groans, the sound low, but audible enough to make your heart pang. "That's good. You're doing so good, princess."
Your tongue goes to his flushed, swollen tip to collect the pearls that continue forming. You can see the way his cock twitches after every few licks, the sight serving to fuel your roaring arousal.
"Fuck," he mutters. "I think you've got the hang of using your tongue. Think you're ready to put it in your mouth?"
You stop, retracting your tongue. You don't think you've done enough to truly prepare you for taking him in your mouth. You don't want him to watch you do it. What if you get it wrong? It would easily discourage you. Will he laugh at you if you gag? Your heart is racing. There are so many what ifs that you feel he would get tired of answering, so you hit him with a simple question. One that would soothe your nerves even the slightest bit.
"Do you think i'm ready?"
He's quick to kill the doubt in your head. You don't deserve to feel like your effort is being wasted, because it isn't. There's a reason he's been leaking like a faucet this entire time, and if he has to assure you that you're doing just fine, then so be it.
"Of course, doll. Didn't you notice how much quicker the last step was?"
You nod. "Yeah, I did. I thought I did something wrong since you had to correct me."
He laughs, a deep rumble that makes your cheeks burn with a mixture of embarrassment and joy. You give him a perplexed smile, unsure if he's agreeing with what you said through the attractive sound.
"Nah, I almost spewed all over your face. We had to move on a little quicker because of that sinful tongue of yours."
You tried so hard not laugh, but the corners of your lips started twitching and then you noticed the way he was grinning because he caught on to your bitten back giggles. You were internally giddy, it was impossible not to react that way to what he told you.
"You got it, baby. Like I said before, I'm not gonna be rough with you." You've always tried for him, regardless of the nerves that course through you and that's enough. "I'm gonna like whatever you do, so don't even worry about that, alright?"
"Okay," you respond, adjusting your position. Toji looks like some god with the way you kneel in front of him. "Maybe I should put my hair up," you suggest.
"I got you, don't worry. I'll keep your hair back."
You were hoping he'd let you do it to give you more time to mentally prepare, but once again, all there was left to do was jump right into things. You put your forearms on his thighs, and lean forward. As you start opening your mouth, you realize that your jaw is going to be so sore after this. He's long and thick and it makes you even more nervous because you didn't think you'd have to unhinge your jaw to take him in your mouth. You do know one thing very well. No teeth.
"There you go." He sighs, feeling the way you wrap your lips around the head of his cock, a soft sight of relief leaving him. Your lips are soft and warm as ever. "Just breathe through your nose," he continues instructing. As promised, he keeps your hair collected in his hand and out of your face. "Mhm, good girl... Fuck."
Your cheeks are hollowed out as you attempt to take more of him. You're a little less than halfway down, yet your mouth is already so full. Is it even possible to fit the entire thing in your mouth?
You swirl your tongue over his tip, running it through the slit to see if it does any more for him. His hips buck slightly, making your heart drop to your stomach and his cock press further into your mouth causing you to pull back.
"S-Shit, my bad, doll."
You breathe before going back in, this time trying to fit more into your mouth. It's hard. You always feel like you're gonna gag, and that's the last thing you wanna do—make a sound that you don't think you could recover from the embarrassment of. You push your limits, trying everything in your power to control your gag reflex, but it's a lot. He's huge. You're drooling all over him. It's messy, does he even like this? The only thing motivating you is the sounds he makes. His sighs and low groans. The way his voice goes down an entire octave when he curses under his breath. You're pushing it, you can feel yourself wanting to gag, so you pull away, and take a quick breather.
"Doing so good, baby," he purrs, releasing your hair for a moment. "You wanna try taking it deeper? You don't have to be embarrassed about gagging. It's just a part of your learning process."
Within what seems like a quick instance, you're going again. You remember what he said about breathing through your nose as your mouth swallows more and more of his length. You're going further down, shutting your eyes tightly as you try to focus on something other than the tip of his cock hitting your throat. You let out a deep breath through your nose, before coming back up, little pants leaving you as you suck on his tip to not lose contact with him. You try his slit again, this time with more gentle licks. You hear him groan, and his hand tightens in your hair.
"Fuck..." the word comes out somewhat strained. "Keep going, baby. Use that pretty mouth on me."
You take as much of his as you comfortably can into your mouth and start going up and down with your lips, your tongue gliding along that vein that seemed to have a huge effect on him earlier.
"K-Keep going." His resolve was crumbling. It was all happening so quickly and he felt debilitated by you. He's never had something like this happen. You barely know what you're doing, yet he's about to flood your mouth with cum. He thought he'd just be a test dummy this time, so you could get a feel for what it's like having him in your mouth. He didn't think you'd actually get him to cum. You're using those underdeveloped instructions he gave you and actually making them work. He's trying so hard not to buck into your mouth, he's right there. You're relentless with that tongue, using it to find his sensitive areas and then abusing them.
Your scalp is starting to sting a little from the grip he has on your hair, but you don't want to stop until he tells you to. Your jaw hurts, but your gags are starting to minimize.
Toji looks down at you, this may have been his biggest mistake. He challenged his own breaking point by leaning his head against the headboard of the bed and shutting his eyes, leaving his body to you for a few minutes so that he could purely feel you— feel what you're doing to him. Then it occurred to him... When will this happen again? When will you ask him to do this again? It was enough of a task to get you to pronounce the question. How can he get you to want to do this after this time? He doesn't know, but for now, he gets to see the mess you make as you work your mouth on him. You have drool all over the lower part of your face and your cheeks are flushed. For now, he gets to feel the way your hands are grabbing at his thighs and he gets to listen to the lewd sounds your lips make against him. It's definitely a sight worth remembering. It'll go straight into the mental shrine of spank bank material he has of you.
"Fuck... oh, fuck... Baby," he hisses, his hips jolting upwards as he empties himself into your mouth. You pull away, glassy eyed at the harsh intrusion of his dick in your throat almost making you choke. Your tongue is coated in cum, some of it went straight down your throat, and inevitably, you have it on your lips. You watch with bright cheeks as his stomach quivers, cum drooling down his shaft.
He sighs. "Show me your tongue, doll."
The potency of his cum is all you can taste. Every taste bud on your tongue is drowned in the flavor and painted white.
"Look at that," he says, almost in awe at the sight of your sloppy tongue. Your cheeks burn hot with every second you keep your it out on display for him. A glob of cum mixed with spit glides down your palate and spills down onto the bed, and god it stirred something in Toji.
"Whoops, sorry," you say, retracting your tongue to avoid drooling any more.
"That's okay, mama. You wanna keep things tidy, huh?" He grins at the little nod and hum you offer in response. He collects the streaks of white that landed on your lips with the pad of his thumb. "Open," he says, calmly, pressing his fingertip into the slit of your mouth. You listen, opening just enough for him to drag the remnants that litter the pad of his thumb, onto your tongue. "Suck," he says, positioning his thumb onto your bottom lip, slowly dragging it out like he's running it through a wringer.
"Good girl. All nice and clean again," he praises. "What about me?"
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alyssa-the-witch · 5 months
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Offerings and their Removal
Disclosure, this may not apply to everyone! Cherry pick it if that works for you, or take none at all. Just no hate or arguments in the comments!
Definition- Offering - Something given to an entity or deity to show appreciation. This can also be something done or said to show appreciation.
~~~~~Types of Offerings~~~~~
Food- In ancient tradition, specifically Greek, the first bites of food were thrown into the fire to be sent through the gods by smoke. However, this isn't an option for many people these days. Alternative methods are favored.
Fire - The old methods are still applicable if available. If one has a bon fire or fire-place/hearth, the first bite of food can still be "smoked" , per-say.
Prayer - A small prayer can be said over food before the first bite is taken. Just a simple "Entity/spirit, please accept this offering, Blessed Be" or something similar can suffice. This, for some deities like Hestia can be done at the end too. This is more convenient for a hidden practice and for those who can't afford to waste food.
Altar- If you have an altar, or ever a small bowl, they can place the first bite of food there for the deity entity too.
Objects and Trinkets- Just like us, deities/entities love little trinkets. Whether it be a few coins you find nice to a statue or an engraved candle. Whatever it my be, it can be given to an entity with a prayer and/or on an altar in their honor.
Removables - There are some things that can be placed on altar and taken off. I like to call them removables. When placed on an altar, one could say "Entity/Deity, bless this object, with your energy and blessings." let it sit for a moment or cleanse with incense. If a clothing item, accessory, or perfume, you can take it off and use/wear it. Just remember to put it back to refresh the energy and discuss before taking it off for the first time.
Actions - There are also things that one can do in offer of a deity or entity. They can be small things, like prayers, to full-on rituals.
Prayer- This is probably the easiest in my opinion. It can be a small "Hey entity/deity, I appreciate you." on the go, or reciting a hymn or a prayer by the altar. It's incredibly diverse and can meld to any practice.
Chores - This can apply more to some deities than others, but just Keeping your room and house tidy can be done in honor of a deity. Altars specifically can be cleaned or re-arranged as an offering
Art-In ancient times, arts of every kind were offered to deities ant spirits. And it can fit most anyone's style.
Music- written specifically or just a song you think reminds you of them. Drawings/Paintings- try thing that reminds you of the deity or how you see them can be drawn or painted. Others- Pottery, Dance, Crocheting or handy crafts, or even more. All can be done in offering to a deity. Specifics - If you have done research into who you're offering to, you can offer specific things. Sleep for Hypnos, Baking bread for Hestia, Rehearsing if in the arts for Dionysus, etc. Self Care- This not a lot of people think applies, however the gas most want you to be kind to your self. whether it be a bath with oils, flower petals, and all the works to just brushing your teeth at night. All would make the gods/entities very proud of you!!
~~~~~Disposal~~~~~
This is something a bit more difficult; You did the thing, you think it's time, now what do you do? A decent chunk of this section was taken from @khaire-traveler. Obviously, actions cannot be "removed" Once the action is complete, the offering is sent.
Food- khaire narrowed it into 4 options that I really like. Just remember, when on an alter, don't let it sit too long for health concerns (rotting, bugs, etc.)
Consume - After praying aver the food like I had mentioned before.
Bum - Also mentioned before, but can be done after sitting at an altar for awhile.
Bury- Food offerings. if safe for local wildlife, can be buried. "My logic in burying them (only if environmentally safe) is returning the offering to the earth in a sense." (khair-3) (Yes its MLA cited, AP capstone has rotted my brain) If that fits Your practice, it is a good option.
Dispose, - This, like everything else here, must be done with respect. Clarify with the entity/deity that you aren't doing so out of disrespect, rather because this is your preferred disposal style or your only option
Objects/Art Pieces- If you have this ability, talk to your entity/deity about it, clarify there is no disrespect in the removal, and give the deity some time to de-attach to it. Slowly, the energy will fade from the object when kept away from the altar. This doesn't need to a ritual, but can be if that's what you prefer
Thank you for reading! This is my first fore into the pagan-sphere, so if this is something a lot of people like, I'll continue! Blessed Be, Alyssa the Witch!
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chuluoyi · 7 months
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𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒏𝒐 !
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- gojo satoru x reader
valentine's is around the corner and word has it that you're going on a date with geto...? no way! gojo is going to make sure that you're saying no! ever wonder how gojo finally gets you to become his? be prepared for a confession of a lifetime!
genre/warnings. crack, semi-failed love confession (it's gojo, what do you expect?), poor geto, and of course, fluff !!
notes. i genuinely love writing this :') loser gojo has always have a soft spot in my heart *sighs* i'd recommend listening to beautiful & because of you - beast (highlight) for this !!
a part of gojo's love entries and valentine's special !
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Satoru doesn't really pay attention to holidays. To him, it's all the same—he can turn everyday into a holiday if he wanted to.
However, Valentine's Day is an exception. He knows it and is somewhat excited even. Why, you ask? Because this is the moment he has chosen. He's going to make you his on that very day.
He had everything planned out to perfection: skylit rooftop, bouquet of roses, eloquent speech (at least, he thought so). He was going to charm the pants out of you and it'd be a smooth-sailing event, he was sure of it!
At least until he heard that life-shattering gossip—
"I saw Geto-san asking her out for the 14th just now!"
"What?" he snapped his head in Haibara's direction, who was eagerly sharing with him and the others what he had allegedly heard, his eyes practically sparkling with excitement.
"Ehh, not bad," Shoko mused with a hint of amusement, casting a curious look his way. It was obvious she was enjoying this.
Nanami let out a thoughtful hum. "That's quite a surprise. I didn't think they'll go that fast."
"But how?!" Satoru suddenly exploded, grabbing Haibara by the collar. "How did that slimy bangs go from saying nothing to asking her out?!"
"O-oh Gojo-san! Don't squish me, please!"
And from then onwards, his focus was set: preventing you from falling into Suguru's grimy hands. Absolutely no way! He was so close already. He was on the cusp of winning your heart, and he knew it!
Now, you laughed at his jokes, you didn't ignore him as much, and you even asked him if he was okay after his recent mission! That was huge progress, even Satoru knew as much. And no, even if it was Suguru, he refused to hand you over to him.
On the 14th, you were going to be his... even if it cost him everything!
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Gojo Satoru is annoying. You supposed you knew that already, but over these past few days, his ability to get on your nerves somehow had ascended to a wholly new level.
"I'm telling you, you should go with me! I'm going to take you somewhere amazing!" he practically demanded right up in your space, prompting you to let out a long-drawn sigh.
By all means, his attempts to woo you were all lame. He didn't know the first thing about being humble, and logically, you should have been more inclined to push him away.
‘Should’ being the operative word, because, somehow, over the past few weeks, you've started to see his antics as not just bearable but even endearing in a way. No one had ever pursued you with such relentless zeal before him, and it became increasingly difficult to overlook the way your heart fluttered in response to his (occasionally dubious) attempts to win you over.
So, right now, it really wasn't because you were playing hard to get. "Gojo, I've told you already. I can't on that day, I've already got plans," you sighed, exasperated.
He shot you a glance, his expression shifting into a brazenly raised eyebrow. "With Suguru?"
"How do you—"
"Tell him no," Satoru pressed, scowling. "Tell him I asked you first."
"In fact, he asked first—"
“Just say no!”
“No!”
"You're seriously going on a date with him?" he questioned, almost in disbelief. "And what, you're going to confess to him too?"
His tone didn't sit well with you, causing your irritation to rise. You frowned and retorted boldly, "And if I do? It's not like you can do anything about it anyway."
Wait, that actually hurts. Satoru was now irked too. Hadn't he shown enough for you to understand just how much of a big deal it was for him? Didn't you know he actually likes you so much that it made him toss and turn on some nights?
(No, you didn't really know. He just made himself look stupid most of the time. You were not that impressed.)
"As a matter of fact, I can," he began, expression turning into a slight sneer. "I can and I will if you still insist on going with him."
"Wha?"
"I'm going to crash your party so hard, you'll wish you hadn't gone behind my back. The audacity he has, trying to steal my girl!"
"You sound like a creep," you couldn't help blurting out, wide-eyed. "And I'm not your girl—"
"You—are quite heartless." His gaze on you behind that glasses hardened, and you were suddenly taken aback by how upset he looked. "I'm giving you my all—I think about you all day and night I think it's actually making me crazy!"
You stared at him, genuinely dumbfounded this time, realizing that somehow or another now, he was pouring his emotions out.
"Nothing I say will make sense to you, but whatever—" he exhaled sharply in frustration. "It's always you—in my mind. Compared to anyone else now, you're the prettiest. And if you were to ask me to pull a Blue on Ichiji right now, I'd probably do it! You see now—what you have done to me?"
"Ichiji? Gojo—!"
"You might think I did all of this for your attention, and yes, you’re right! That's how much you've messed with my head!"
. . .
Oh, now he had really gone and done it, hadn't he? He had laid it all bare, every last bit of it—the chaotic heap stacking up as his botched confession. And there were no roses, no rooftop, and none of the grandeur he had envisioned. This was so not how he wanted it to go at all.
Satoru grimaced, suddenly regretting this turn of events. He had seen it coming already—you calling him a total weirdo and then leaving him in the dust. Just the thought was enough to make his heart squeeze. Wanting to escape before it became a reality, he abruptly turned on his heel and walked away from you.
He barely made it a few steps away before he felt a firm tug on his arm.
"Wait! Gojo!"
You grabbed his arm tightly, forcing him to turn towards you. Satoru stubbornly refused to meet your gaze, his lips pressed into a massive pout. Yet, beyond that display of defiance, you could discern a hint of heartbreak splashed across his face, and it made your stomach churn.
Always trying to make you look at him. Always trying to get you to smile through his lame jokes. Making himself stupid on purpose. Frustrated when his feelings went unnoticed… All Gojo Satoru did thus far finally added up.
So it's true... he likes me this much...?
In that moment, warmth flooded through you. This idiot. Everyone said he was no good, but your heart couldn't help but leap, and a flurry of butterflies seemed to dance in your stomach.
In this instant, everything seemed to fall into place. Any doubt you might have melted away, leaving only a sense of certainty about your feelings. Everything just feels absolutely right.
"I'm not going on a date with Geto, you know."
"Huh?" Upon hearing that, he swiveled to face you, his gaze intensively searching your face for further explanation.
With a huff, you elaborated, "It's for my Grade One promotion mission. Geto-san asked to join me for it."
"But why? He doesn't need to—"
"He wants to tag along to absorb more cursed spirits, you see..."
"Oh, amassing new little friends, I see," Satoru quipped, face scrunching up distastefully.
His mood seems better now, you noted. You exhaled, your heart suddenly felt like it was pounding louder. "So, you've got the wrong idea. It sucks but my Valentine's day is going to be spent on a mission."
A beat passed by before he finally spoke again, still sheepish and avoiding eye contact. "I'm coming with you too, for that... mission or whatever."
You pressed your lips together, trying to ignore the warmth spreading across your face. "And?"
"And... huh?"
"That's all? Nothing else you want to add?"
And suddenly his eyes sparkled back to life. Beyond those ridiculous round glasses, his bright, yet steadfast eyes met yours with such vibrant shine it made your chest thump so hard and face flush with matching intensity.
Silly, silly boy... liking me so much that he turns stupid.
"Actually, I've got plenty more to say!"
With an indignant snort, you released his arm. "Well, I'm waiting. Because what you just said before has to be the most underwhelming confession I've ever heard."
"Wha? Hey! That wasn't my confession! Just you wait, I'll do it over, and this time, I'll make you swoon so hard you'll forget how Suguru's face looks like!"
And on the night of February 14, he truly surpassed himself once again in making a terrible confession, and yet it still signified the day you truly became his—the beginning of your life together, which along the way, would be filled with more shenanigans, endless laughter and of course, love.
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Epilogue
"Haibara, I really thought you're the most sensible here! I can't believe you!"
Suguru massaged his temples with utter grievance. So this was the cause of his headache and constant death stares Satoru gave him these past few days—the three people gathering in front of him!
"I've told you already, Nanami—Gojo is really going through with it," Shoko cackled with utter satisfaction. "Now, pay up."
"Ieiri-san... sigh— from now on, I'm not participating in your bets anymore."
Haibara, who went with Shoko's suggestion to incite this, sheepishly laughed. "Ehe, Geto-san, all that ends well is well though, no?"
"Satoru was really about to skin me alive! Ugh, and you almost ruined my date too..."
"Eh? Date?" All three sets of eyes suddenly fixed on him in utter astonishment. "Who?"
-> continue to 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 (with geto suguru—soon!)
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fastandcarlos · 8 days
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Accept My Help, Love : ̗̀➛ Ollie Bearman
summary: the last thing your stubborn self needed was an injury, particularly when letting people in to help is a trickier job then it should've been
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Your soft eyes looked at Ollie, with your arm wrapped in cast the most mundane jobs were suddenly your biggest challenges. In the Haas hospitality you stood, your plate of food ready to be eaten, but your hands unable to carry. 
With Ollie talking to many of his future team members around him, you found yourself at a crossroads. The table you had wasn’t too far away, and with the strength in your arm getting better day after day, you were sure it was about time to challenge yourself a little more, placing your hands on the hot plate, making sure that your grip was nice and tight on it. 
Usually Ollie was there to help you with most things, but with his career skyrocketing you didn’t have the heart to disturb. As you lifted the plate up, you were feeling pretty confident, surprised by how easy the weight was to carry. However, as you took your first step, your confidence quickly plummeted. 
Before you knew it the plate slipped out of your hands and banged against the counter. The vibrations were loud across the hospitality lounge with several pairs of eyes darting in your direction. 
“Babe?” Ollie questioned, one of those to quickly spin around and see what was going on. 
You weakly smiled across at Ollie as his eyes looked around, piecing together what was going on. “Don’t say it,” you sighed, your shoulders dropping. 
Ollie was used to you pushing yourself, asking for help was a job that you found particularly difficult, especially now that you had your injury too. All Ollie wanted to do was help you with your recovery, and remind you of just how capable your body currently was. 
“Why didn’t you ask me to get it for you?” He asked, picking the plate up, leading you over to your table. 
You hung back behind him, your steps slow and lazy as people slowly started to look away from you too. With a huff you dropped down into your seat, allowing Ollie to place the food in front of you before sitting opposite you. 
“What were you thinking?” He questioned, keeping his eyes firmly on you. 
Your expression was blank, the frustration was clear. By now you had hoped that you would be back to your usual self, hating the fact that you had to constantly rely on other people to get you through day to day. 
“I just wanted to try,” you defended, “I should be able to carry my own plate by now, shouldn’t I? This is where you work, you shouldn’t be spending your day running around after me.” 
Ollie’s hand reached across the table, taking a hold of your own and squeezing it gently. If anyone knew how hard this was for you, it was him. Accepting help wasn’t easy at the best of times, but now it felt as if everyone offered their help out of pity rather than concern. 
“I’m fed-up Ollie, this is ridiculous.” 
Your eyes stared down at the cast around your left forearm, doodles up and down the plaster that some of your closest friends had added to it as reminders to cheer you up whenever you were feeling down. As always, they were particularly drawn to what Ollie had doodled, the biggest heart he could fit on it that he knew you’d adore. 
Your other hand brushed through your hair as you let go of a sigh, “I just want to be me again Ollie, I don’t recognise who I am right now.” 
Ollie nodded understandingly, brushing the pad of his thumb over the back of your hand. “I get it, I’ve had injuries too when I’ve had to count on other people to get me by. But people do genuinely want to help you love.” 
You slowly turned your head up, allowing yourself to see the concern in Ollie’s eyes. “I don’t like the fact that you’re constantly having to put yourself out for me, you can barely sit still because you’re looking around and worrying about me.” 
Ollie continued to hold tightly onto your hand reassuringly, “that’s because I choose to do that, because I care and want to be there for you, whether you’re injured or not.” 
You smiled weakly, feeling tears threaten to spill as a wave of emotion washed over you. “I just want this to end, to rip this stupid cast off now.” 
A faint chuckle came from Ollie, since the day of your incident he had seen firsthand how frustrated you were, particularly as your injury wasn’t your fault to begin with. His heart broke when the doctor told you how serious the fracture was, the recovery period longer than you could’ve ever imagined. 
It was never going to be easy but at the start, you were positive. However, the longer your arm took to fix, the less positive you were. Your negativity had taken Ollie by surprise, he’d never seen you so low, at times wondering if he was the right person to be able to pick you back up. 
He too wanted to rip your cast off, but only when your body was ready for it to be done. “You know, I’m worried about what you’re going to be like when your cast comes off, because you’re going to be so much stronger, and tougher, if people are scared of you now, they should see you with a freshly healed arm.” 
“Do you really not mind helping me out?” You asked Ollie. 
His head shook straight away, without even having to think. “I’m always going to be there for you, injured or not. There are people around you who really do care sweetheart, it’s not embarrassing to ask them for help.” 
“Thank you,” you smiled, watching as Ollie lifted your hand and pressed a kiss against the back of it. “I don’t know what I’d do without you sometimes.” 
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” Ollie smiled, “you forget how amazing you are sometimes.” 
“You think so?” 
“I know so.” 
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
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matsunoluvr · 2 months
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୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ the love and deepspace boys favourite body parts
warnings: characters may be ooc, some suggestive writing, limited knowledge on xavi and zayne (rafayel stan…)
characters: rafayel, xavier, zayne and sylus
link to master list here!!
information: these are based on the idea that the mc and LIs are either dating or very clearly romantically (and possibly more lol) attracted to one another!!
author’s notes: xavier’s affinity for physical affection infected me and now i can’t stop thinking abt it curse abyssal chaos and their stupid stories wdym we were cuddling w xavier ARGHH
more below the cut!! :3
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as a painter, rafayel is, naturally, drawn to the whole figure - he’d say things such as “the body can show what words don’t speak” and such.
in the past he’s dabbled in figure painting, after all he is an artist at heart - he had to try everything - but he found that overall he much rather paint sceneries and landscapes. he just saw no appeal in the human body, it was all rather dull in comparison to the beauty nature held.
that was, of course, before he met you. ,and, well, every since then he found it difficult to paint anyone, anything, that didn’t include any aspect of you. from the exact hues of your eyes to the supple red of your lips after you two kiss, rafayel would incorporate your essence into any painting of his.
so it’s obvious that he loves your body, he loves every inch, but what was his favourite?
well… rafayel is obsessed with your hands… like so obsessed it’s insane. always wanting to hold them, kiss them, caress them, everything.
feeling your skin on his, no matter if your hands are soft or rough, large or small, fingers are long or thinner, he just loves the intimacy of intertwining his fingers with yours.
sometimes you can feel his gaze on you when you fiddle with them, if you run them through your hair or finger as a loose thread in your clothing - his eyes are fondly observing your every move.
if you ask what his obsession with hands were, he’d deny any specific attraction to them
“Hands? They’re just like any other body part.”
but then you ask specifically, what’s the obsession with your hands, and then his ears are turning red.
“Y-your hands? Nothing, no- I do not have an obsession with your hands…”
but then you grasp his chin, tilt his face up and trail a finger along his jaw and he’s shivering, flinching deliciously to your touch
tease him for it and he’ll get flustered - frowning but not denying anything at this point, because your finger is now trailing down his neck and gently brushing against his collar bones.
of course, his affinity for your hands can be exploited.
for example, when rafayel ignores you for sustained periods of time working on a painting.
“Wait a second, I’m painting.” and you get sick of waiting, so you decide to toy with him a little
he’s so engrossed in painting he doesn’t even notice you creeping up behind him, he doesn’t notice you until your hands are sneaking around his small waist, moving forwards until you’re toying with the buttons on the front of his shirt.
his small yelp of surprise is adorable, and the red that creeps up his neck to his ears is beautiful - you can tell his attention is now narrowed in on the way your fingers creep through the gaps in his shirt and your nails gently scratch at his abdomen
you can hear his breathing stutter and his heartbeat quicken, and if you turn him around to face you - well you don’t need to be a mind reader to tell what he was thinking when you looked at the tent growing downstairs…
“Please… I won’t ignore you I promise… so please keep touching me.”
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we all know xavier can’t keep his hands off you, from purposefully pulling you a little too close to him when a wanderer seems too angry to cuddling into your chest when taking a nap.
he’s sly, sly like a little minx, and he knows exactly how to tease you.
with this in mind, his favourite part of your body is your neck - just like how his neck is his weak-spot
he is a very possessive man, and god does he love acting on it to prove to the world that you’re his (though with the glares he gives other men/women, I don’t really think he needs to make any other point that man is terrifying when he is jealous)
he shows his love by literally devouring your neck, sucking hickeys and giving little love bites all over your neck - if you tell him to stop he’ll definitely be giving you a petulant pout.
xavier just loves the fact that he’s the only one allowed to touch you there, that he’s the only one that’s allowed to nibble at your sensitive neck - the most vulnerable part of your body. the control he has over that area of your skin drives him NUTS
like seriously, you two will be making out (see this post for the lnd boys giving first kisses teehee) and all of a sudden he’s lunging at your neck and kissing it like there’s no tomorrow - all whilst sporting red ears and furrowed eyebrows.
xavier looks so concentrated, really dedicating all of his energy into making sure everyone knows you are his. also trying to focus the blood anywhere but south LMAO
by the way, you can exploit this by purposefully wearing low-cut v-necks, exposing your neck all for xavier.
even the opposite can work… wearing turtle necks or scarves, restricting his access when making out can get him riled up
one time he almost ripped your turtle neck with how far he was tugging it down so he could suck at your collar bones…
one time you and xavier went on a mission where you dressed undercover as a rich couple and went to a masquerade ball
when you and xavier split up, a man that you recognised as your ‘neighbour’ - who lived in the apartment next to the one you and xavier rented - approached you and started up a conversation - to be honest it wasn’t exactly flirtatious nor suggestive but you suddenly found yourself being yanked back into a solid chest
when you looked up you could see the seething possessiveness that simmered in xavier’s irises, and his grip on your waist was tight.
“Are you okay, dear? Is this man bothering you?”
his voice is much, much colder than you’ve ever heard it before, and there’s an edge to it that was so un-xavier like.
needless to say, the man scurried off as fast as possible
that night… well xavier made sure to pretty up your neck in lovely blotches of purpled-pinks…
his tongue is surprisingly skilled, swirling and caressing your sensitive skin in sensual patterns…
the next morning when you accidentally bumped into the man from the night before, you could definitely feel a sense of smug satisfaction come from xavier as the man’s eyes widened upon seeing your marked up neck
“What? I didn’t mean to… I just got carried away.”
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zayne is a gentle-man, and his pure and innocent answer would be your eyes, and it’s not wrong. he loves gazing into your eyes - even though he doesn’t like it when you reciprocate the action.
whenever you’re lost in thought, or gazing into the distance, he finds himself searching your irises, or losing himself in your pupils.
but, if we really unveil dr zayne’s thoughts… he really loves your lips
like of course there’s the romantic and thoughtful side to it, he loves the little quirks and silent give-aways your lips can tell, such as the way they twitch a little when you lie or the way they look when you smile
he loves how you sometimes nibble on the bottom lip when deep in thought, and finds it especially cute when you sulk when he acts clueless to your flirtation
he especially loves, however, the way they glisten after you lick your lips with your soft tongue… or after he’s done having his way with you…
zayne loves when they turn swollen after a long make out session, or the way they pout when he teases you - leaning in for a kiss only to pull away and tuck some hair behind your ear
he loves the way your lips change colours, shades and hues, on warmer days they look velvety and on cooler days they’re more dry, and when he’s nipping at your bottom lip and kissing you deeply they turn a richer, more sensational shade of red…
sometimes he enjoys just watching you eat, seeing your mouth relax into a satisfied smile as you greedily swallow up your favourite dish
you can, obviously, use this to your advantage.
when he’s talking all mr professional-cold-hearted zayne mode, just draw attention to your mouth, whether it be by wetting your lips or by bitting your bottom lip, it’ll almost definitely cause him to hesitate
“…concerning your heart medication…” and then he drifts off ever so slightly before continuing his tangent on your health. it’s not a huge pause but coming from dr zayne? ANY sign of hesitation is a huge thing!
and sometimes, well he enjoys a little bit more…
the first time you really acknowledge his thing for your lips was when you two were out on a little date.
summer was at its peak and it was fucking boiling, even with your walking AC unit - dr zayne - it was still way too hot to handle
in response, you and zayne decide to take a trip to the local ice-cream parlour - he orders some form of ice drink - not too sweet - with whipped cream, whilst you order your favourite.
at one point - one thing led to another - and zayne ends up with some cream on his finger… and fuck if you were going to let this opportunity pass…
you grabbed his hand just before he could protest and took the tip of his finger in your mouth, wrapping your lips around him and gently sucking off the cream.
needless to say his rationality was lost, the only thought in his brain dissolved into the carnal need to claim you.
you can literally see the moment in his eyes, from confused to extremely, whole-heartedly, soulfully, biblically aroused - it’s actually a spectacle to observe
needless to say he took you to your apartment within the next 30 minutes and let’s just say… you didn’t get a good night’s sleep LOL
“I didn’t know you liked playing games this much. Let’s see how long you can play my game then.”
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guys… i’m sorry… i can’t help it even if it falls into the stereotypical fuck-boy sylus core head cannons…
he’s an ass man.
sylus just loves a good ol’ ass, and unfortunately due to his unashamed nature he absolutely does not hide his admiration for your… assets.
gifts of form fitting leggings, dresses/suits, god sometimes even hunters uniform that flatter your lower half - he’s absolutely transfixed on your ass it’s actually concerning
“Your old trousers didn’t fit, they were too large. Wear these.”
if you did wear them sylus is going to explode. explode as in watch you with a starved look in his eyes, just begging for you.
when you’re out and around his residence - e.g. by the kitchen sink, don’t be surprised if you randomly feel a large, firm hand situate itself right on one of your cheeks, and i’m not talking about the ones on your face LMAOOO
and god if you bend over in front of him he’s going to be walking up behind you and observing very… very closely - at what you’re doing of course..
if you look up you’ll where his eyes are looking and it’s certainly not at what you’re doing (he’s appreciating your ass)
why he likes your ass, do i even need to explain?
does a man really need a reason to like ass??
he also likes love handles and tummies, i can totally see sylus absolutely adoring every part of your body tbh i wholeheartedly believe in love-sick loser boyfriend sylus who accidentally falls head over heels in love with you
love handles - he likes the look of them, he thinks they compliment your body, whether your body presents more masculine, feminine or neither!!
he also loves uh, grabbing onto them when he needs something to hold whilst… performing activities with you lets just say that
if you’re on the thinner side don’t worry, he doesn’t discriminate when it comes to ass, all shapes and sizes are sylus approved!!!
i can imagine how sylus would suffer if you acted oblivious, wearing tight trousers or wearing dresses/suits that clearly were tailored by his personal designer to compliment your figure
at balls that you were forced to attend with sylus in the n109 zone, he always stood suspiciously close to your back - either hiding/protecting your ass from creepy men or keeping it all for himself…
if not your ass, and if we are talking about more… appropriate parts of the body, he’d probably go for your hands.
he just loves how small they are against his, and especially loves biting them gently
speaking of which sylus 100% has a thing for biting that i don’t think people talk about enough - a lot? possibly, i haven’t seen much, but definitely not enough.
after your evol linkage ordeal and having to have his hands close to yours all the time, it really made him realise how much smaller your hands were
also, the idea of intwining fingers, holding hands… maybe even your hands wrapping around something else… yeah he can sometimes get carried away thinking about your hands…
in the café when you get all handsy on him, he definitely has one too many nsfw thoughts about you as he notices how warm and small the palm of your hand was in relation to his own body.
“Dont stop, keep touching me, kitten.”
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AN: tl;dr the LND men are absolutely smitten for you and love your body no matter what. for the first 3 it was pretty simple for me, but i struggled with sylus. he seems to be a touchy man who doesn’t shy from physical contact so I got a little carried away… oops
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gay-dorito-dust · 27 days
Note
Your gravity falls fanfics are so good!! :0 if you’re still taking requests could I request a one shot where Stan’s s/o is with him during the fight between him and ford and they get sucked into the portal instead of ford? I love your angst so much hehehe
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Part two is right here
You had originally came with Stanley as support for when he confronts Ford after spending a long period of his life with no contact, no nothing to reassure his twin that he was fine and not dead in a ditch somewhere.
‘The nerve of him, living it up here and not so much as a word to his one brother, his twin no less.’ Stan muttered, his gip tightened on your hand as you both walked up to the lonely shack amidst the snowy forest, but there was something else there besides anger it was nervousness or perhaps worry that his brother didn’t contact him for one reason or another.
‘And here’s your chance to make yourself heard,’ you said as you squeezed his hand, hoping to comfort Stan during this difficult moment for him, ‘you’ve spent enough time to mull over what it is that you want to tell him, now is the time to let him know how much this has affected you and he will have to listen regardless.’
However you’ve came to realise that there was a lot more going on that Ford claims that you and Stanley weren’t aware of as his eyes shifted everywhere out of paranoia. You were still blinking your eyes after getting abruptly blinded by Ford upon first meeting, something about possession? You were certain this wasn’t how you thought you’d be meeting Stan’s twin -not in the slightest- but it was clear to you that Ford was afraid of something, what it was he wouldn’t tell only saying that he needed Stan to hide his journals, scatter them as far from each other which did nothing but annoy Stan.
You could see the clench in his jaw and his fists and were about to reach out and ground him but before you could blink, Stan and Ford were tussling over the journal across the lab as the portal thrummed with power, almost as if entertained by the fight between twins and you were left unable to do anything but watch.
‘Is that all you brought me here for! To help you hide your journals?! I bet I didn’t cross your mind not even once!’ Stanley shouted as he kept the journal close to his chest with his lighter as he managed to keep Ford where he wanted him.
‘You don’t understand Stanley! This is dangerous things you are holding in your hands!’ Ford replied, eyes firmly locked onto the journal and the flickering flame of his brother’s lighter that got too close to the journal’s pages for his liking. ‘Think about the potential threats-‘
‘Fuck that! I want my brother back!’ Stanley cuts his brother off as he grew frustrated at how his brother was - once again- not listening to him or what he had to say. ‘You could’ve called upon me any time! But you only call upon me when you want someone else to do your dirty work for you! What about what I want! My life is in ruins because of you!’ Ford lunged towards Stan and managed to knock the lighter out of his hand, grasping at the bottom half of the journal while Stanley tightened his grip on the upper half of the journal.
‘You ruined your own life and you’ll ruin y/n’s with the way that you are going!’ Ford retorts in a strained voice as he and Stanley tugged the journal in two different ways, just for Stanley to loose his grip, fall backwards and hurt himself on a hot surface that caused him to scream in pain. ‘Stanley!’ You and Ford yelled as you both went to rush to Stan’s aid, hoping he wasn’t too hurt, only for him to Punch Ford in the face and as Ford stumbled backwards he bumped into you. which then caused you to fall back into a lever of sorts; before soon finding yourself beginning to float and be drawn towards the portal with nothing to grab onto to prevent it from happening.
Freaking out you yelled, ‘STANLEY! HELP ME!’ You screamed as you found yourself getting closer and closer to the entrance of the portal, helplessly flailing out of pure panic and need to get away from it, not realising that your attempts to get away were fruitless. Your screams had dragged Ford and Stan from their fight as they could only watch in horror as half of your body was already in the portal.
‘Y/n! Baby! HOLD ON! JUST HOLD ON BABY IM COMING!’ Stanley yelled back as he frantically looked for anything he could use to rope you back to the ground, but grew frustrated when he couldn’t find not a single piece of rope or metal rod lying about, the lab was clean of any and all obstruction. ‘FORD HELP ME!’ He cried as he looked back at his twin, who was frantically looking himself for anything to get you away from the portal, just to face the same problem that frustrated Stanley. ‘I’m trying!’ He shouted over his shoulder as his guilt for bringing both you and Stan here began to weigh down on him heavily.
‘Well you’re not looking hard enough!’ Stanley barked as the fear of losing you was slowly crushing his chest, making it harder for him to breath as his mind raced with the thought of having to live a life without you, his anchor, his best friend and his beloved partner. He hated it, he didn’t want to envision it but here he was living the nightmare he swore would never come true, feeling helpless and useless as he was forced to hear your frightened sounds and not be able to do anything about it.
He didn’t even get to say the words ‘I love you’ yet as he was scared that you’d find someone better then him before he even mustered up the courage, but you never did. You stayed by his side, even if it mean moving from state to state almost every week because of him and Stanley knew he didn’t deserve you, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted to loose you from his life either.
Stan and Ford tired their hardest but it wasn’t enough as by the time they looked back at you, your outstretched hand was the last thing the pair saw as the portal closed, leaving them to stare at the portal in denial of their failure to rescue you. ‘Baby?’ Sanely said as he stepped forward hesitantly. ‘BABY! THIS ISNT FUNNY! COME OUT PLEASE!’ He cried louder now when the realisation began to set for him as he ran towards the lever, pulling it and pushing it in desperation of re-opening the portal in hopes of seeing you rush out and right into his arms; where he would keep you for as long as you’d allow him to.
Only for neither of those things to happen, the portal remained shut and you remained lost to whatever was on the opposite side, scared, confused and alone.
‘WHY ISNT IT WORKING!’ Stan screamed as he pushed and pulled, pushed and pulled the lever so much that Ford had to physically drag him away from it before he broke it, thus making more work for them in getting you back. ‘Stop Stanley, it’s not working!’ Ford said as he managed to stand between his twin and the lever, ‘the portal is out of power, it won’t open up unless we get the necessary materials to open it again.’
‘Then what are we doing! Let’s go get it!’ Stanley said as he was about to leave the lab but was stoped by Ford’s hand on his arm, which he shrugged off violently. ‘It’s not so easily obtained Stanley,’ Ford said as he let his hand drop to his side as Stanley glared at him, ‘we need money to get the parts needed to power the portal up. I only had enough to open it once and that took a lot of time, even with Fiddleford’s help, and without him or the necessary materials…’ Ford trailed off which didn’t help Stanley’s mood as he grew angrier at his brother’s insinuation.
‘They’re trapped on the other side forever?!’ He yelled. ‘Bullshit! I don’t believe that! I want them back now!’ Stanley then grabs Ford by the collar and brings him so that they were eye to eye. ‘Give them back or I swear to fucking god Stanford-‘
‘I can’t bring them back without the necessary materials Stanley I told you.’ Ford reaffirmed as he started at his heartbroken twin as the first signs of tears left his eyes, Ford felt Stan’s grip loosened on him until they went completely slack at his side as he fell to his knees, chin dropping to his chest as he silently wept. ‘Bring them back.’ Stanley chanted softly, ‘being them back to me, I can’t loose them. You don’t understand. They’re everything to me and now I’m nothing without them.’ Stanley whispered to the air as if someone with the power to grant his wish will hear him, but instead elected to ignore him and his pleads.
Ford, heartbroken at seeing how distraught and lifeless his brother had became, slowly knelt in front of him in silence, not knowing how to comfort him correctly as he felt himself to blame for your disappearance into the portal. He had taken away the one person who cared for Stanley in the times where his family couldn’t be bothered, someone who loved him unconditionally regardless of what he did and Ford had taken you away from him seemingly forever, so he wouldn’t be surprised if Stanley would hold a grudge against him for it.
However one thing was for certain, he’d help his brother get you back however he could, no matter how long it would take them, even if it took them thirty years to do so; it was a risk that Ford originally wasn’t willing to take but if it meant getting you back to Stanley then he’d do anything to see his brother happy again.
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feyascorner · 9 months
Text
lingering touches
summary. you offer to bathe astarion and he experiences non-sexual intimacy for the first time.
warnings. comfort/fluff
pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader
a/n. since my other post talking about this did so well i wrote a short lil fic on it!! TFBU ch 4 is in the works i swear. you may notice me writing a lot of fluff outside of TFBU because it's just an angst fest over there and i need happy astarion in my life
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He trusts you. That much is evident when he accepts your suggestion to bathe after a particularly gruesome day out battling against what seems like half the world. But a part of him--the one stuck in the never-ending loop of Cazador's torturous influence--makes him disassociate when you're a few buttons down his shirt.
He's brought back when you hold his hand, eyes meeting with a softness so endearing that he wants to sink into the water and never let go.
"We don't have to do this," you say.
"I want to. Terribly."
You nod and finish undressing the both of you, leading him to the bath where there's already a steaming bath drawn. When he sinks into the water, you're sitting on the opposite side. And while you're only a foot apart, he wants to pull you closer to him.
He notices the way you're shifting---not quite uncomfortable, but a bit bothered by the heat of the water. Of course, he thinks, of course you'd make the bath hotter than your own body can handle for the sake of his own. And regardless, you don't make the first move toward him, in fear of overwhelming him. He may be a difficult person to read, but he can read you like an open book.
He's almost sure he doesn't deserve someone like you, but he's a selfish person.
So he holds a hand toward you. "Come here, love."
You do so, beaming in a way that makes the smallest of smiles stretch on his own lips. You're infectious in a way that scares him and intrigues him all the same. Soon, he has your back against his chest and his arms looping around your waist while you're leaning your head against his shoulder.
He could die here, and he wouldn't complain.
Wordlessly, he takes the shampoo and mixes it into your hair, drinking in everything you do. The way you sigh while he massages it into your scalp, the way you scoop up the water and lift it to wash the dirt off your face, the way you melt into him as if he's a part of you. He wants to be.
"Does it feel that nice?"
You turn, nodding. "Want to try?"
"Oh darling, I'm fully capable of washing my own hair."
"Well, let me at least return the favor."
He nods, passing you the shampoo. You move behind him, propping up on your knees, and generously pouring some on your palm before slathering it over his curly hair. You stifle a laugh when he flinches at how cold it is.
As you wash, he finds himself enjoying it far more than he should be, and by the time you're almost done, he's leaning his head back as if following your hands. It should be embarrassing how enamored he is, but he can't bring himself to care at the moment.
It's strange, this intimacy that strays away from an endless night of pleasure. But it's not unwelcome. Not at all.
And when he leans his head back further, finally able to meet your eyes, you press a kiss to his forehead, and he realizes he doesn't care about the vulnerability of laying himself bare either. Because it's you.
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Text
Hugs
About time I finished this WIP that randomly appeared in my head. I've just finished defeating Cazador and mannnnnn I really really want to hug Astarion and never let him go.
Summary: Astarion learns to hug you.
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“Can’t get enough of me, darling?” Astarion purrs into your ear, sliding his arm around your waist to pull you closer. He leans in, pressing a kiss to the tip of your ear before letting his lips trail downwards, sending a shiver up your spine but you push him away, placing a hand on his chest.
“We don’t need to do this.” You shake your head, “I just want you, not your body, not your services.”
He feels his heart jump into his throat, anxiety gnawing at him but he smiles outwardly anyways, as practiced. “Which part of me exactly do you want?”
“All of you,” you breathe. He blinks, surprised as you intertwine your fingers with his, a thumb gently brushing over his smooth skin. The warmth sends tingles from his arm to his body, a fuzzy feeling blooming in his chest that fills him with uncertainty.
Is this genuine love? Is this how love is supposed to feel like?
Why would you want all of him?
He cannot understand why you would want the monsterous side of him, the side that craves blood, the side that is spoken in hushed whispers, woven into stories parents tell their children to scare them into bed. He hides his fangs whenever he smiles, afraid that your gaze will be drawn to them and that they will be all you ever see of him but you never seem to be scared of them, always open to him sinking them into your soft neck so that he can drink the ambrosia that is your blood.
You place an arm around his waist, noticing that distant look in his eyes and press your chest against his, hoping the sensation will bring him back from whatever abyss he’s fallen into and his head snaps up, ruby eyes locking with yours with a look you’ve never seen in them before. You feel his hand tremble as he tentatively rests it on your back and he inhales sharply.
“If you’re not comfortable we can stop,” you murmur. “I don’t want to force you to do anything.”
“You’re…not, darling. It’s just…” He swallows. “It’s nothing.”
You narrow your eyes. If all this time spent with him has taught you something, is that every time he says ‘it’s nothing’ it’s always something.
“Astarion, you can tell me anything, but take all the time you need, alright?”
His lips quirk up for a split second, instinctively sending you a reassuring smile but the smile quickly fades, replaced by a sorrowful look. He gazes at the ground, suppressing the urge to just melt into you. You deserve someone better than him, someone who could love you properly, who understood what love truly meant and didn’t feel disgust rising every time they placed a hand on your skin because of their past. No matter how much he loves you, he’s not the best one for you.
You reach out to him, a hand gently touching his cheek but he pulls away with a snarl, fangs bared and you quickly stumble backwards, surprised at his hostility. His eyes widen when he realises what he’s done and guilt devours him even further. Your touch feels tainted, even if it lacks the usual lust and desire behind it, but that is no reason to hurt you. He forces himself to reach for your hand, muttering a quiet apology as practiced and rests it on his cheek, willing his body to remain still like always.
Doing this should be easy, he’s been doing this for centuries, so why does it feel so difficult now?
You look at him with concern, an emotion usually devoid in the eyes of those who touch him and pull your hand away of your own accord.
“I’m sorry.”
Why were you apologising? He was the one in the wrong, he was the one who had broken the moment, he was the reason the night had turned from one of tranquility to one of tension.
“There’s no need to apologise, love. Shall we continue?” He leans in once more despite the sickening smell that your scent has transformed into. “You’re just that intoxicating.”
Still, you push him away, noticing how he’s zoning out each time he moves closer to you. Worry creases your eyebrows and you take a step back, moving just out of his reach.
“Did I overstep any boundaries?” You ask. “I’m sorry if I did.”
“You didn’t, darling.” He shakes his head. “You’re far too perfect to make such mistakes.”
Far too perfect for him.
“Astarion,” you realise what’s plaguing him. “No matter how long it takes, I will always be by your side. You are my star, my entire world, no one else can possibly replace you or be better than you.”
“I shouldn’t be,” he mumbles. “I only add to your burdens.”
“Well, it’s only fair that you do that since I do the same to you.”
“No you don’t!” Astarion snaps. “Don’t you ever say that about yourself!”
He glares at you, fists clenched, his clawed fingertips digging into his palms. You raise your hands in surrender, slowly stepping away from the riled up vampire spawn upon whom realisation has dawned. He inwardly curls up even more, despising himself for taking out his anger on you and yet no matter what he does, you refuse to leave. You’re still standing there, a safe distance away but within his line of sight with no intention of leaving him. He cannot wrap his mind around why you would do such a thing, why you wouldn’t leave someone as unstable and unloveable as him, but a small part of him is grateful for that, he can’t bear to watch you leave.
“Sorry.” He chokes out, the word leaving a foreign feeling in his mouth. “I —”
“It’s alright, apology accepted.” You smile. “We should return to camp, the others must be wondering what is taking us so long.”
Astarion shifts from one leg to another, scratching the back of his neck, “wait, darling, please.”
You pause, turning around to look at him, “yes, Astarion?”
“I…” He starts. “It’s not your fault, it’s mine. Everything feels tainted, touching you feels disgusting, being so close to you feels nauseating, but it’s not your fault. It has nothing to do with you, I promise, it’s —”
“I know. You don’t have to say it out loud if you don’t want to. I’m sorry I can’t erase the past, but I want to help you forge new associations with touch.” You raise a hand, palm facing him. He does the same, shakily moving his palm closer to yours but encouraged by your smile, he presses your palms together. He swallows the bile rising to his throat and looks to you, waiting for you to make the next move. You take a step closer and he does the same, although his step is filled with much more uncertainty. You give him an encouraging nod and take another step. This time, his step is more certain, made with the signature confidence you know and love.
After a third step, the both of you are close enough that your nose fills with the scent of bergamot, rosemary and a hint of rosemary, overlaying Astarion’s real undead scent. You cautiously put an arm around his waist and when he doesn’t flinch, you grow bolder, removing your hand from his and putting the other arm around his waist.
He freezes, but the action raises no memories he’d rather keep locked away so he tries to keep himself grounded, to feel the soothing warmth of your arms around him that mean him no harm. He locks eyes with you and your gaze washes all the fear away, stirring something within him. He wouldn’t have dared do this before, but tonight you’ve given him more than enough courage to attempt this.
Astarion steels himself, and then puts his own arms around you. His undead heart thunders in his chest, fear consuming his mind. What if you pull away? What if you hate his cold touch? What if —
You lean into his embrace, silencing all his fears and nuzzle into his chest. He lets out a breath he never realised he was holding and buries his face into your shoulder, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes. Your embrace is vastly different from the previous embraces he’s had, all you want out of it is a display of love and care, you don’t want his body, you don’t want what he can offer, you don’t want anything in return.
As he continues to hold onto you, never wanting to let go, he lets a hand wander up your back, finding a better position to pull you closer and you hum in response, happily burrowing deeper into his arms.
“I like this, you know,” he whispers. “Whatever it is that we have, I don’t want it to end.”
“I feel the same way,” you whisper back, breathing in his scent. “Let’s stay here like this, the others can survive on their own for a little while longer.”
“I’m sure they can, my love.”
Hugging has definitely made its way to the top of his list of favourite things to do with you, Astarion thinks, listening to your happy hums as you soak in his embrace. He should do this more often.
831 notes · View notes
tiredmamaissy · 3 months
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Ralak te Sepawn ieyk’itan: Special Episode VI 
Labor of Love - Part III
Masterlist ; Rut/Heat/Knotting Info
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🔞 minors, do not interact 🔞
Hyperlinks are attached to specific paragraphs that when clicked on will lead you to its illustration by Ralak's insanely talented creator @zestys-stuff. Thank you so much for allowing me to play around with your characters!
Characters: Metkayina!Ralak (25) x Sully!Omaticaya!Reader (20) featuring Metkayina!Zu’té (29)
Warnings: zero smut, explicit childbirth, water birth, difficult labour, contractions, amniotic fluid, breastfeeding, family fluff, expletives, this is a bit angsty but there’s a happy ending
Word Count: 7.3k
Requested: Yes || No
Author’s Note: the following depicts a very detailed, difficult, and medically inaccurate birth. This is graphic. I am quite literally going to simulate a birthing experience in your pov and I strongly suggest opting out now if anything pregnancy or birth related could make you uncomfortable. Finally, this is most definitely not medical advice, nor should this be used as a reference for what to expect during birth. This is a fanfiction about blue aliens, after all. With that being said, let’s welcome Ralak into fatherhood!! Enjoy 😊
Synopsis: Things were moving too fast until they weren't moving fast enough. The time has come and you're starting to doubt your capabilities. But thankfully your mate is here to guide you through this.
<- Previous
“Okay, Toto. Just do it. Go in there.” Zu’té sounds breathless as he speaks to himself, turning around to face the door. He hears your whimper and his jaw tightens. “Shit. Okay. Right.” Just as he raises his hand to pull back the curtain, he hears a winded voice.  “Brother.”
Zu’té spins around to face the voice of an angel—Ralak.
“Oh, thank Eywa. Thank you great mother. Thank you.” Zu’té chants in relief despites being one of the least spiritual persons someone can meet. He knew deep down that Eywa answered his call. 
Zu’té makes eye contact with the dishevelled and worn out giant. His attention is immediately drawn to the lengthy gash on his shoulder that seems to have been stitched up in a haste. 
“Ay’ana.” Ralak growls when he sees him staring.
The colour drains from Zu’té ‘s face, but before he can respond, Ralak’s ears perk up when they hear what seems to be a low whimpering. It sounds as if you're straining and struggling to breathe. His eyes dart behind Zu’té and then quickly snap back to his brother, filled with panic. 
Zu’té just barely shakes his head, urging himself to focus on the most important thing right now. 
“Your mate is in labour, tak.”
Ralak’s eyes widen at the confirmation. He knew it. He felt it back inland. 
Without another passing second, Ralak pushes past Zu’té and enters his marui. You hear the faint flap of the door and try to shift yourself in order to keep some level of decency.  
“I said to leave.” You’re breathless, gripping relentlessly onto the wooden stilt.
Ralak’s frozen in place, taking in the sight of you labouring by yourself. One that no matter how painful, is a sight he has always longed to see. A sense of pride fills his chest, his mate is showing such great strength that it’s admirable. Bringing life to his child is something he will eternally be grateful for. 
But then he sees your fingernails. How they've gone dull from all your gripping and scraping, and his sense of pride quickly mixes with shame. Shame that he has left you alone in this. 
Your laboured breathing is audible, practically wheezing as you struggle to breathe through the last lap of this contraction. You keep holding your breath and it’s more than evident from the red tinge in your face. Breathing is no longer the thing that you’re most focused on anymore, it’s the pressure between your legs.
He doesn't want to startle you but he can’t just watch you suffer any longer. He approaches you cautiously, examining you in attempts to discern how far into your labour you are. 
You're glazed in a layer of sweat, glimmering in the faint light of the first sliver of sun. Your shoulders rise and fall rapidly as you pant faster than a viperwolf pup, and your belly is low and firm as it tightens from the contraction. 
Ears laid flat to your skull and brows tightened, you curl over and clutch your stomach. He releases his clenched jaw and lessens the distance between the two of you. He gently places his hands on your lower back, pressing into you with the ball of his palm. 
The warmth alone provides a bit of relief for you, allowing you to momentarily catch your breath.
“Zu’té.” You hiss under your breath, surprised he’s even come in, much less laid a hand on you.
You let go of the marui stilt to swat away his hand with a loud smack. The reminder of you labouring in the presence of another man that isn’t him makes him wince. 
“Muntxate [wife].” Ralak husks quietly, using his thumbs to rub circles into your back. Your ears lift from your skull and perk up when you realise it’s your mate, back home from the excursion.
Tears overflow and spill down your cheeks. Tears of pain. Tears of exhaustion. Tears of relief. 
“Ralak.” You let out a nasally sob, unable to look at him just yet due to the contraction still rippling through you. You speak between your moans, voice cracking.
“You’re back. You’re here. It’s happening, lak. He’s coming. And I—I thought you’d miss it. I thought you weren’t coming back. I thought… I thought—”
“Alright, alright. I am right here with you, tanhì. Mawey, mawey [calm, calm].” He hums steadily, already reaching behind him for his kuru. “How long have you been in labour?”
“D-Don’t know.” Your breath catches in your throat and your knees begin to tremble. “Too l-long.” 
Ralak’s heart throbs in his chest at the thought of you enduring this on your own for that long. The contraction is finally subsiding, and you're eager to find relief in your mate. You exhale shakily and grip his wrist as you try to straighten your spine. 
“Easy.” Ralak is quick to help you to your feet, holding you by your hip and arm. “Can you stand?”
You nod your head as you slump back into him regardless. “It’s happening, ‘lak.” You wheeze, resting your head on his chest. Despite the slight sting, Ralak smiles, joyful to know his son will soon be born. 
“It is, my tanhì.” Ralak hums, swaying side to side with you against his body as he brings his glowing tendrils towards the end of your braid. He’s spent but he knows the exhaustion he feels is nothing in comparison to yours. “I am so sorry I have left you alone in this.” 
“‘ts not your fault, my love.” You murmur, lulling your head against his chest. “...not your fault.”
Though your contraction has passed, the pressure in your pelvis has a steady, constant groan vibrating in your throat. It’s a feeling that won’t let up, and the further you progress the more intense it gets. It feels like your body’s at its limit, unable to accommodate your babe any longer. 
“Mmmn—tsaheylu, please.” Your plea is drawn out and low, unaware that he’s already one step ahead of you. 
When he makes the bond, the pressure is instantly lightened but is quickly replaced with a sharp pain in your shoulder and back. He sucks in a sharp breath and grimaces from the sudden pain and pressure that flows into him.
You gasp and clutch your left shoulder, whipping your head around to look behind you. Immediately, you catch sight of his wound. 
Fresh blood spurts out between the ragged stitches and globbed over herbal concoction, dribbling down his chest and back in thin streams. 
“Shit.” You curse, ripping your queue away from him, abruptly severing the bond—causing the pressure to come back tenfold. “Fuck—you’re injured.” 
“I am fine.” Ralak insists, reaching for your kuru again.
“Tsaheylu will infect it.” You insist, keeping your kuru away from him. 
“Ke tare [it doesn’t matter].” He says sharply, catching his tone and softening it. “Allow me, please.” 
Ralak reaches for your kuru again, eager to make it up to you—to take the pain for whatever time you have left. But you shake your head firmly. 
The fact that making tsaheylu caused it to rupture and bleed, a gash that size will surely worsen with the influence of your labour. Ralak respects your wish, although he’s in disagreement with it. He’d never make the bond without your consent and he feels as if he’s already missed too much of your labour to continue the argument. 
“…what happened?” You ask shakily, terrified to know the answer. “Wh-What did they do to you?” You feel yourself begin to tear up.
Seeing him so hurt always made your heart heavy. 
Your question catches him off guard, bringing him back to the moment he saw his own karyu. He swallows, having trouble keeping his calm and figuring out what to say. He has no intention of keeping it from you, but truthfully it isn’t the right time to speak of such matters. Not when you’re nearing the peak of the birth of your firstborn.
“Not now. You are labouring.” Ralak says sternly yet gently, reshifting his focus and concern back to you. 
And if it weren’t for the unbearable heavy sensation in between your legs you would’ve protested. You nod lazily as your breath hitches repeatedly, your hand finding its way to the lowest part of your abdomen to press into it. Your lengthy groans start up again, you can feel your entire body begin to tense up.
“Another? So soon?” Ralak’s voice falters, concern now evident in his tone. He steadies himself behind you, pressing his hands into your lower back once more. 
“Pressure. ‘ts too much.” You pant, leaning forward and using your free hand on the marui stilt for support. 
“Pressure?” Ralak tries his best to understand what you mean. Thinking that he’s pressing too hard into your back, he eases up and apologises. You shake your head and quickly replace your hand onto the lowest part of your abdomen with his. 
“Pressure!” You yelp the word like a plea for help, hoping he’ll get it without you needing to explain. Talking is becoming more difficult with each passing contraction. When he does finally understand, his eyes widen and brow bones jump. 
“Ah—he is moving down, tanhì.” Ralak tries to speak calmly, sliding his other hand over your stomach. His fingers smooth over your skin, taking in its heat and supple texture. He then feels it tighten even more, contracting right under the pads of his digits.
“Tewti [whoa].” 
It’s the first he’s ever felt a contraction, despite being a mandated witness to numerous first breath rituals in the clan. He begins counting under his breath, trying to gauge your progression by determining how long they’re lasting. But before he can get into the double digits your low grumble turns into a high pitched cry. 
Ralaks ears immediately go flat, hearing a cry like that rip from your throat makes his heart tighten in his chest. He shuffles closer to you upon realising that you're curling over from the pain. Moving quickly, he supports your body weight with one hand to your belly and another over your chest. 
“Ralak!” You cry out, “Please! Do something!”
With that, Ralak’s hands slip back down to your lower abdomen, cupping your belly and gently pull upward. This always helped if the baby was sitting too low, relieving some of the heaviness and pressure on your bladder.
Instantaneously, the pressure relieves. Your cry dissipates into a loud sigh, your downturned lips flipping up into a small smile of relief. 
“Thank you—” Pop. “—ugh” Gush. 
You’re silent, but your face screws into a grimace as the pain rushes back in with a vengeance. You look down in a painful daze, feeling the trickle of liquid down your thighs and legs. Through blurred vision, you watch as a pool forms at your feet, as well as Ralaks. 
“Shit.” Ralak mutters under his breath, recognizing what’s just happened. 
His head whips around to the sound of the flap of the marui door. He looks behind him, met with the panicked, bulging eyes of Zu’té, who’s staring intently at the scene unfolding before him. He's just worked up enough courage to enter the room.
Zu’té finally makes eye contact with Ralak, and Ralak nudges his chin in the direction of the village, mouthing—‘Get a healer’. Zu’té nods and takes off at full tilt. 
“…fuck‘m sorry. My waters...” You mumble, fingers digging into his arms in attempts to keep you standing, to no avail. 
Your knees buckle beneath you, and you lose all ability to keep yourself on your feet. Ralak supports you, moving down with you rather than trying to keep you standing. He slowly and gently lowers you to the floor, away from the growing puddle. 
“What for? Your water breaking? No need to be.” Ralak chuckles breathily, trying to make it obvious that it’s no big deal—he’s unbothered by it.  
“Me-messed you up.” You grunt, breath straining as you lean all your weight back into him. 
“You did no such thing.” He reassures you through a quick breath, adjusting you into a more comfortable position.
You lay on top of him, shifting onto your side and off the sharp throb in your lower back. You clutch his bicep with one hand and keep the other snug under your bump. 
He’s more so in an awkward position than not, his back now against the base of the bed and his right leg propped up to keep you from rolling back. He has no issue staying put in this position if it means some sort of relief for you. 
But your groans only deepen, lengthening and ending with small grunts.
“You alright, mama?” He checks in on you through a whisper, knowing that things move quickly once the water breaks.
You nod your head, trying to be strong, but he can see right through it. And you know it. You sputter out a sob and shake your head, finally admitting the truth—finally facing reality.
“I know, I know, tìyawn. Almost there.”
Even without tsaheylu, he is able to tell how long you have left just based on your sounds and body language. With each little grunt he notices that your face shifts to a brighter shade of pink.
He takes note of your tail, and how it’s now tightly coiled, tucked to the base of your tailbone—out the way. Your shoulders are bowed and your stomach sits low, hard as a rock. 
“Oh!—Eywa, ple-ase.” You mumble a plea, eyes squeezing shut when you come to the height of your contraction. “Mmm’fuck—fuck.” 
“A little longer.” He places a firm, comforting kiss on the temple of your head. “It will soon be over.” 
You feel Ralak’s hand firmly patting your lower back, attempting to put the fire out. But now the pressure’s released, the pain is only more intense—spreading and morphing into a new feeling altogether. 
“Ralak—Ralak!” You panic, your head rolling side to side as you strive against this new sensation. 
“Right here with you.” He hums, pressing hard into your lower back with the ball of his palm. “What do you need?” 
You begin frantically tugging at your soaked loincloth, trying your hardest to get it off of you. Ralak quickly takes over, untethering the knot and slipping it off you.
“Need to—aahaa! I think he’s—haah—he’s—he’s coming!” You yell, unable to fight the new feeling. An urge you’ve never felt before. The urge to push. “Ralak—I’m scared!” 
“Listen to your body.” Your mate encourages you with a steady and calm voice. 
His gaze snaps down to witness your leg rising into the air and your hand hooking under the back of your knee. His hand cups over yours, helping you support the weight of your suspended leg. 
Ralak manoeuvres himself in a way that allows him to support you and see what’s happening. He gently tugs your leg back a little further, having a proper look. He can see just how swollen and tender the flesh between your legs is—ripe and ready. It’s time. 
“Muntxate [wife]. Bear down if you need to.” 
“I—I—urgh!” You cry out, finally giving into the urge to push, allowing your body to bear down in the way it’s been trying to. Holding your breath, you tuck your chin to your chest and sink your fingernails into Ralak’s bicep, pushing as best as you can in this position. 
“Good, good. Good push, tanhì.” His voice is hushed but steady as he watches in awe as your body flourishes. “Syeha si [breathe].”
As the urge subsides, you release your breath and gasp for air a few times. If he’s really coming, you don’t want it to be here. You had both discussed doing this in the comfort of your own lake. The lake in the cave, where your relationship with him had blossomed to begin with. 
“Not here.” You say out of breath, legs shaking terribly.
Ralak leans in closer to you, listening carefully to decipher your murmurs. You keep your eyes closed shut, unable to open them anyway. They feel as heavy as you do, weighed down with exhaustion and agony.
But as you feel your stomach tighten and the urge rush back in, you realise that time lessening. “Water—get me in the water, please!”
Ralak hesitates, scanning your body to see if moving you in this state is the right thing to do. He watches as you tense up in agony as you contract, and quickly the realisation dawns upon him, too. At this rate, the babe will be here at any moment.
And if your wishes are to give birth in the water, now is the time to fulfil them.
Ralak scoops you up into his firm clutch, rises to his feet, and rushes out the door. Taking his time down the steps, your grip around his neck tightens just as a groan rumbles in your chest. Your legs squirm in his grasp as they try to snap open. 
“Hurry! He’s coming!” You grunt, burying your face into the crease of his peck, biting down to fight the feeling. 
Ralak glances down at you a few times, brows gathered from the worry that plagues his heart. He’s holding you tight, so as not to let the wiggle of your body loosen his grip.
“Here.” He huffs out, nearing the entrance of the cave. 
Immediately immersing himself hip-deep into the water, he moves hastily, submerging you as he makes his way over to the ledge and helps you into position.
The ledge makes a smaller, more shallow pool in the lake, perfect for you to sit in with your back supported by the bank. 
Water is up to your chest, slushing and splashing against your neck as you desperately readjust yourself to get comfortable. Your head is perched on the bank of the lake, hands spread across to hold onto the rocky surface. Your toes grip the floor, rooting yourself to the ground to keep you stable, knees bobbing at the water's surface. 
“Fuck! Ralak!” You cry out, feeling your body act on its own accord.  
Ralak is already in front of you, one hand on your bump as the other slips between your thighs to feel your progression. All while he’s looking down at you with nothing but concern etched into his features, unsure of what more he can do for you without tsaheylu.
He witnesses your face turn red as you hold your breath again, using as much force as you can to push him out. 
Ralaks hand moves from your bump to cup your cheek, his fingernails raking away the streaks of sweaty hair plastered to your face and tucking them behind your ear. 
“Syeha si, tanhì [breathe].” He reminds you gently, exaggerating a breathing pattern you had rehearsed a few weeks ago, and you try to match his rhythm. 
But you’re stuttering and sobbing, unable to establish a pattern and push at the same time. Your back is on fire and it feels as if the baby isn’t moving any further down. 
The contraction finally ends with a loud wheeze and your head slumps back into the rocky bank. You shake your head as you struggle to open your heavy lidded eyes. 
Your vision is blurry and spotty. You glance down in a haze and lock eyes for a moment with the worried giant before you, and then you feel yet another contraction wash over you. They are on top of one another—back to back—with little to no break between them. 
“Fuck. Please. Please. Plea—” You weep weakly, eyes slamming shut as your chin makes contact with your chest, cutting off your pleas with a lengthy, guttural grunt. You push with what you have left, giving yourself a throbbing headache as a result. 
“Pushing so, so well.” Ralak praises you with a hushed voice, feeling something press against his fingers. 
As you strain, you feel the delirium set in. The panic of not knowing if you’re capable of doing this. Every inch of you more than ached, yet some parts of you have even gone numb from how long this has been going on.
You can barely get a proper breath in much less breathe the way you should when you’re pushing. You feel like your body may give out at any moment. 
“Keep going, y/n.” He encourages you, seeing your exhaustion and feeling you stop. 
“Ralak…lak.” You let out a sob and try to relax your body, but end up collapsing back into the rocky surface again. “‘m tired, lak.” You mumble shakily between laboured pants, “...want him out.” 
“I hear you.” Ralak tries to reassure you, now supporting both your trembling legs as they threaten to give out. “He will soon be out, tanhì. But you have to keep going.”
“No—oh, no, no.” You cry, tensing up from another agonising contraction. You didn’t think they could get any more painful. “No more. No more, please.”
“Come now, big push for me.” Ralak instructs softly, repositioning himself to help deliver his son. 
“Ugh—!” You scream, giving all you have left into this push. Beads of sweat roll down your temples at a concerning speed, and your face shifts to an even more vibrant shade of red. “Please! Please get him out of me!” 
“He’s coming out, tìyawn. Keep pushing, almost there. Almost there.” Ralaks voice is low and laced with panic, despite his greatest efforts to keep calm and collected.
This cycle repeats for some time, instilling worry into both you and Ralak. You’re having a difficult time, and it’s taxing on your body to keep this going.
Truthfully he can tell that you’re really struggling, and he’s getting a little more worried as time passes. But then he feels the baby press against his fingers and hope fills him once more. 
“That’s it. Push just like that, y/n.” 
“Fuck—” And just as last time, you collapse back into the bank, depleted with nothing left to give. You begin to think that maybe everything you’ve been hearing was right. 
Maybe you can’t do this. 
“I…I can’t.” You sputter defeated, letting your legs go limp either side of you.
“Mawey [calm]. You can. Your body is made for this.” He reaffirms for not only you but also himself, he’s too afraid to lose you. No, he can’t lose you, too. He’s experienced too much loss. 
“’s not comin’.” You shake your head lethargically, feeling faint. “He’s stuck.”
Hearing that makes his heart sink. Ronal’s words echo in his mind, putting him in a frantic state. He quickly composes himself, probing the tender flesh to help stretch it out. He feels something slimy and silken, and his ears perk up.
He’s right there. So close. 
“He’s not. I feel him, he is right there.” Ralak tries to keep calm for you, attempting to reassure you as he quickly thinks about the next best move.
Zu’té isn’t back with the healer and there's not much else he can do. He looks down at you, taking in just how uncomfortable you look as he tries to imagine just how much pain you’re in. With a position like this, no wonder your back hurts. His eyes widen. 
No wonder your progression has stalled. 
“Move with me. Easy.” Ralak croons, carefully tucking his arm under your back to sit you up slowly. He throws your limp arms around his neck, and brings you to your knees and then your feet—supporting your weight as you get there. 
“Lak, Lak!” You grimace and whimper as you try to work with your mate—your body is already so sore and weak that any movement is torturous. 
“Need to get you off your back.” Ralak huffs, holding you in position until you’ve adjusted. You hold on to him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck as you settle into a squat. “A few more pushes, mama.”  
“Haa—no, no.” You squeal in desperation, feeling his head descend even further down now that gravity has come into play.
Then your belly stiffens. 
You bite the flesh of your cheek until you taste blood and bury your face into the dip of his collarbone—refusing the urge to push. But the instinct overrides you completely, leaving you in a panicked and delirious state. 
“Take h-him out! Make the cut!”
“No, no cut. No cut.” Ralak utters a throaty whisper, pushing down into your lower back. “Bear down, muntxate [wife].” 
“Ple—ase.” Your broken plea comes out as a low grunt as you shake your head frantically, driving your dulled nails into your mate. “It hurts, it hurts!” 
“I know, ma’ y/n. But you must bear down, please.” His voice trembles, filled with worry, but his words are firm—non-negotiable. You continue to shake your head, fighting with what you have left, your laboured breathing deepening as you run out of strength to resist. 
Ralak’s worry quickly turns into pure panic. Panic that you’ve really given up. Panic that you really may not make it out of this. That…he’ll lose you. He knows what he must do, despite it being against your wishes.
He gives your kuru a quick stroke, his way of warning you. It sends a shiver through you, but the pain is so excruciating that you can’t resist this, too. 
Ralak quickly makes tsaheylu, bringing a brief moment of pure, instant relief, just enough to bring you out of your delirium. His wound reopens, burning and weeping. But not even that could prepare him for your pain. 
It feels like each vertebrae in his spine instantaneously shifts out of place. It is excruciating. And strange—that urge to push. He can feel it too. It’s like an itch deep under your skin. Irresistible and uncontrollable. 
“Push!” Ralak groans loudly, prompting you to bear down with whatever strength you can muster up.
You scream at the top of your lungs, achieving a frequency and volume so high it can be heard from the village. Ralak’s fingers quickly probe the tenderness between your legs to check your progress once more. Finally, he feels the baby’s head begin to emerge. 
“Perfect push, tanhì. Keep going, keep going.” Now he’s winded, flustered and speaking breathily. 
Your scream is cut off by your vulgar tongue, “Fuck! Fuck—it burns!” You cry out, feeling a bolt of white hot fire split you in two, making you jerk back. “It’s burning!” You sob, trying to wiggle away from the flame. 
“He’s crowning. His head, shit—” He huffs, realising that the babe is coming too quickly, not giving you enough time to adjust, “Stop pushing.” His fingers probe the taut skin in attempts to prevent you from possibly tearing, “Breathe him out. Just as we practised.”
Your fingers dig even deeper into him as your head snaps up to shoot him a deadly glare. Wasn’t he just demanding that you push? To ‘listen to your body’?
You take deep, intentional breaths, eyes flicking down to search the cloudy water as you try your hardest to resist. He can feel your frustration through tshayelu, he can hear your thoughts. 
“Syeha si, syeha si [Breathe, breathe]. Let yourself adjust. Let your body push for you.” Ralak tries to explain, using the bond to his advantage and using the bond to his advantage. 
‘I can’t do it.’ You think to him, unsure if you’re even doing it right.
“You can. You are. Just like that.” Ralak works with you, probing the tender skin once more as he feels the head emerge. “A little longer.”
But yet, you feel yourself giving in. 
“Can't. Help. It.” You whimper, your breath stuttering as it catches in your throat. Tears roll relentlessly down your cheeks. You need him out. 
Now. 
You drop to your knees and tuck your chin to your chest. “Haah!” Your breath finally releases, and a guttural, lengthy grunt follows after. 
Ralak feels you push — hard. He readies himself, steadying his stance as he traces his fingers around the circumference of his unborn’s head to help guide him out. 
He is, too, looking down into the murky water, trying his best to see what’s going on. All he can do is rely on his sense of touch and the feeling through the bond to help him. 
“Ngh—ugh!” You feel a pop between your legs and the pressure minutely releases. 
Just then Ralak feels the rest of your baby’s head emerge. He can feel the curls of his silken hair, and how they’re laid flat to his skull. Ralak nearly breaks down right there, but fights the array of emotions bombarding him all at once to recenter his focus back on you. 
“His head is out.” He croaks, supporting the babe's head with the palm of his hand. “Hair like yours.” 
Ralak gently unlatches your grip on his shoulder and guides your hand under the water and towards his. Aside from wanting you to feel what he’s feeling, he’s hoping that this will give you the strength to keep going.
You feel the sliminess first, and then the soft, velvety texture of your son's head. You weep, slumping your head into Ralak's chest as you focus on gathering as much energy during the small break from the contractions. 
It’s incredible to know that your body created this life. 
“Oh god…it’s him.” You barely whisper.
“You are so strong, you know that? Mighty.” Ralak hums, cupping the back of your head with his hand. You lift your head to look at him and he rests his forehead against yours, searching your eyes with his. “One more push for me, okay?” 
You nod your head, bottom lip curled over to touch your chin. His hand slips from your neck to your cheek, his thumb wiping away one tear of a thousand. The tightening of your stomach has you tensing up, gripping onto him for support. You groan and moan until the contraction reaches its peak, where you begin to grunt and push against the budding pressure.  
He steadies himself once more, quickly slipping his hand off your cheek back into the water. He holds your son's head with one hand, and hooks the fingers of his other hand under his son's left shoulder. It pops out with the help of his gentle tug, and you bear down even harder. 
“A little more.” He encourages you, waiting patiently to feel his son's right shoulder emerge. He feels the bridge of his shoulder and Ralak jumps into action, carefully guiding his son's shoulder out. “Perfect, there it is.” Ralak mumbles quickly, hyperfocused on ensuring a safe delivery. 
You whimper when the burning sensation comes back, shoving your forehead into his chest. It’s hard to breathe. Every fibre in your being has you wanting to hold your breath for more leverage to get him out. Your noises fade to little choked muffles, quick and uneven. 
“Breathe.” Ralak chokes out, feeling your burning lungs through tsaheylu. He immediately establishes a somewhat steady breathing pattern for you to sync into.
“Pwah!” You let out a shaky, harsh breath of air, panting as you try to sync with him. “Urgh—ah!” you groan as you push, surprised by how long this torturous contraction is lasting. 
“Please get him out of me, please, please.” You whisper into his chest.
“Shoulders are out, tanhì” Ralak huffs next to your ear, tenderly rubbing his cheek against your temple. 
“Catch him, Lak.” You wheeze, your legs shaking uncontrollably from carrying your weight for such a long time. He wants so badly to do the rest for you, now really sensing your weariness through the bond. But he couldn’t, all he could do was support you through every second of this. 
“I have him, muntxate [wife].” He whispers, lips pressed to your ear. “Last push.”
A hoarse, empty cry evades your trembling lips as you bear down a final time. Suddenly the pressure releases entirely, and you feel your son slip out of you and into Ralaks hands. You let out a loud moan of relief, immediately pulling away from Ralak’s chest to look down into the water. 
“He’s out. He’s here, tanhì. You did it, mama. You did it.” Ralaks cracked voice is full of relief. “He—he is so small.”
You fall back onto your behind, breaking tsaheylu with your mate. Your eyes search for your newborn but you can’t make anything out of the murkiness of the water.
You look up to witness tears fill Ralak’s eyes for the first time as he holds the baby underneath the water. Your back hits the rocky bank of the lake in solace knowing your son is in safe hands. 
Then Ralak grits his teeth and lets go.
“Lak. Ralak.” Your panicked, hoarse voice calls for him, but you’re too weak to get up. “Ho-Hold him, Ralak.” 
Ralak looks like he’s fighting his own instinct to scoop up his young and cradle him in his chest. And that’s because he is. It’s taking everything in him not to do just that, but he knows that this is the way. The right way. 
“Mawey [calm]. First breath.” Ralak gently reminds you of the Metkayina ritual. He knows he must do this, especially in the absence of the Tsahik. “Let him swim.” 
You watch intently as the water slowly clears, revealing the wiggle of your newborn's body. “Help him.” You plead with trembling lungs, having a hard time watching this unfold. 
Ralak stays close to his newborn, ready to jump into action in an instant. But the babe rises to the top all on his own—swimming directly from the womb. You burst into tears, chest swelling with pride and every emotion under the moon.
Nonetheless, Ralak taps his bum softly, his other hand hovering underneath his son's feet in the case he needs to intervene. This is the first moment where your son has made you both proud.
Your son breaks the water with his face, chubby cheeks and puckered lips. You hear the sound of his little, first breath — pwah. His eyes open as he looks around, catching sight of his father scooping him into his arms. 
“You did it, my little one.” Ralak whispers with a crack in his voice, shifting his gaze over to you. “You did it. I’m so proud of you.” He repeats in absolute shock and awe, and this time you know he’s talking to you, too. 
Ralak holds his son close to his chest and away from his weeping wound, using his body heat to keep him warm as he makes his way over to you. The babe wails when he catches your scent, squirming in his fathers arms as if he were trying to get to you on his own terms. 
“She is right here, son.” He whispers, bouncing him a bit as he places him in your arms, helping you hold him for the first time. “Hold his head.”
Your arms feel like jelly and they won’t stop shaking, but you’re eager to hold your newborn. Ralak tucks himself closely at your side, keeping a precautionary hand under your arm. Immediately, he calms, gurgling and cooing as he listens to the familiar and comforting thump of your heart. It’s all he’s heard in the past ten months. 
Teary eyed, you look down through blurred vision, taking in the sight of your son. Every feature. Every stripe. Every freckle. His dark turquoise skin, golden eyes, pointed pink ears. A tail like his father, but five fingered, like his mother. He is the perfect mix, the perfect balance. 
“You’re perfect.” You whisper, admiring his little coos and floppy, soft ears that lay flat against him. His head turns towards your bosom, puckered lips brushing against your top in search of your nipple. “Hungry? Hm?” You hum shakily. 
Ralak is quick to help you, helping you position him just right. Your son shakes his head as he tries to latch for the first time, and both you and Ralak watch quietly with wobbly smiles plastered on your faces.
With two fingers, Ralak presses down onto your breast, angling your nipple in a way that makes it easier for you and him. You can’t help the grimace on your face when he does latch and suckle, but it quickly turns into a smile as you watch him feed for the first time. 
“Rak’äni.” Ralak proudly announces the name of his first born son.
You look up at him, witnessing a tear or two roll down his cheek. You’d never seen this giant cry like this before. The past two days have been too much.
“Rak’äni.” You repeat with a smile, Ralaks eyes finally meeting yours. He leans in and meets your lips with his, kissing you tenderly. He lingers there forehead to forehead as he pulls away, allowing himself to be vulnerable—to soak in his emotions. 
“I love you. I see you, y/n. For life. And beyond.” Ralak sheds a few more tears as he speaks the words.
“Nìt’iluke [neverendingly; forever].” You say wearily, heavy lidded eyes struggling to stay open. 
Snap. 
Ralak hears the sound of a branch breaking underneath the weight of a person's foot. Ralak looks behind him, hand under the water clutching the dagger on his hip, ready to protect his family. He sees the silhouette of a woman standing at the opening of the cave, basket on her hip as the last rays of sun shine through her. 
The first eclipse is starting.
Is that how long this has gone on for?
His heart skips a beat as his eyes narrow to see who it is…to see if it’s how he suspects it may be. Did she really follow us?
He then sees a taller figure emerge behind her, then another, and another…and another. And soon he counts seven heads in total and it dawns on him.
It’s your family—and his.
“We have visitors, little one.” Ralak coos quietly at his baby, his thumb just barely gliding over his cheek. “Are you alright, mama?” His voice sounds muffled and distant, as if he were at the other side of the lake. “The healer is here.” 
“Tired...Hurts.” You mumble, letting your eyes fall shut.
You feel Ralak’s gentle touch as he tucks himself behind you, supporting you with his body. His arm is under yours, keeping the babe safely above water as he feeds. You can fully relax your body now, sinking into your mate’s pillowy chest. 
“Rest.” Ralak whispers. “I have you.”
“You won’t believe, brother. The tshahik is also in labour. And I couldn’t find you…I heard y/n scream and—oh…” Zu’té lowers his voice to a whisper, catching sight of the freshly born babe in your arms. “Tak. He’s here.” His voice falters even more as he nears his blood.
His only family outside of Ralak. He’s awestruck, taking in all the different features of a new kind as he feeds. The babe's skin resembles the depth of his mother, but the tone of his father. Stripes like an omaticaya. Tail like a Metkayina. Five-fingered.
Truthfully, the length of his stare has Ralak feeling a little uneasy and a bit protective. 
“Toto.” Ralak hasn’t called him that in years, “Meet your nephew—Rak’äni.” 
“Rak’äni.” Zu’té repeats through a whisper, keeping his distance from the babe. “Fyole [beyond perfection].” 
Ralak relaxes, smiling proudly. “He is.” 
Zu’té fumbles with a small satchel on his hip, taking something out of it in a haste. He hands Ralak something small, something delicate. It's weaved to perfection, with colours of the sunset.
"For him." Zu’té says in a hushed voice, unfolding the garment to show his brother. It's a hat, an entirely new concept to the Metkayina. Ralak looks at him, a little confused, eyes bouncing between the strangely shaped item and his brother. "For the child's head."
Ralak smiles, his furrowed brows relaxing when he understands. Zu’té raises his brows and gently nudges it closer to the babe in your arms. Ralak nods, watching as Zu’té slips it on his head as gently as he can.
"Toto, that is very kind—"
"Don't flatter yourself." Zu’té cuts his brother short, pulling back to see the finished result of his hard work. It fits perfectly. "I had plenty of time."
Zu’té steps back, giving you two some space.
A sudden splash of the water makes Ralak jolt in his skin, but he calms down once he realises that it’s the healer situating herself next to you so she can tend to you. He isn’t all here right now, either.
“You did well, sa’nu.” You recognize her voice and strain to open your eyes, vaguely seeing her features.
She was at all your lessons with Ronal. The only one who didn’t look at you like some sort of alien. The only one who treated you with respect.
“All on your own. You need to be strong for a little while longer, alright? This may hurt.”
She begins gently massaging your abdomen under the water—a step that is empirical for healing. You clench your jaw and squeeze your eyes shut, shoving your head back into Ralak, who is visibly trying to withhold his look of displeasure.
“I get that look quite a bit. It’ll be over soon, sempu.”
You look down with foggy vision and see the hat on your baby's head. Immediately, you know who made it. You turn your head, looking directly at Zu’té and smile, mouthing 'thank you'. Zu’té returns the smile with a slight nod, remaining silent.
A high-pitched, excited voice has both you and Ralak turning your heads to see your little sister. 
“Woah! Mama, look!” Tuk exclaims, tugging Neytiri by the hand to get a closer look. 
“Shh, Tuk. He is asleep.” Neytiri hushes her youngest, nuzzling her into her side. The others stay quiet as they approach, crouching down at the bank of the lake to look at their new family member. 
“I am so proud of you, my daughter. He looks like you.” Neytiri whispers, raking her fingers through your knotted hair.
You exhale a shaky breath and smile weakly, leaning into your mothers comforting touch.
Jake looks down at the suckling babe in your arm, eyes burning as they gloss over with tears. “You did it, babygirl.” 
Hearing your fathers words after so many years of feeling like a failure, you can’t help the sob you sputter out. 
“D-Daddy.” You cry shakily, breath hitching. “It was s-so h-hard.” 
“I know, baby. I know. But you did it. ” He coos at his own baby, rubbing your shoulder as he looks over to Ralak. “You both did.” He smiles with his son-in-law, cupping the back of his head with his other hand. 
Neteyam and Lo’ak wait patiently at the back, not wanting to crowd you. Neteyam is particularly worried for you, he’s been beating himself up for not checking on you when he knew deep in his gut that he should have.
Lo’ak is… nervous, despite his big talk about being the best uncle. Your parents pull back, allowing some space for you, Ralak and the healer. 
“Guys.” You sniffle, craning your neck to look at them. “C-Come see your nephew.” 
They approach cautiously and kneel down next to you and Ralak. Neteyam smiles, golden eyes quivering as he takes in his features. 
“It’s uncle teytey.” Neteyam takes his nephew's tiny hand, his thumb grazing over his five fingers. Then Neteyam looks at you, his expression going from bright to glum. “I’m sorry I didn’t check on you.”
You shake your head and smile, barely keeping your eyes open. “Don’t be.” 
“Y/n. I—” To your surprise, Lo’ak is speechless. “He is beautiful.” 
“Thank you, uncle Lo’ Lo’.” You smile with another sniffle, using that god-damned nickname he wouldn’t let up on.
Lo'ak returns the smile, hearing it fall from your quivering lips makes his heart full. You finally lean back against Ralak's chest, allowing your eyes to close, heavy and swollen from all your shed tears of joy and pain.
You feel the healer’s hands leave your stomach and make their way to your chest where she ensures the babe has latched properly. “Perfect latch. You are a natural, y/n.”
You smile wobbly at her words, feeling extra proud of yourself. 
“I will leave the medicines here, ensure she takes them on time.” She’s speaking to Ralak, who is also in a daze, gazing down at his son. “I will come and check on her tonight. Until then, she needs to rest. No heavy lifting.”
Ralak finally averts his attention to the healer, a smile on his lips as he nods. He’d never let you lift a finger, anyways.   
“Ralak, your wound is open.” Neytiri speaks with concern in her voice. 
The healer looks down to see his mangled laceration. “Eywa…Now, this will hurt.” Her eyes go wide and she immediately gets her things to sew him back up. Neteyam and Lo’ak look at the bleeding gash with wide eyes. Jake grimaces. 
“D-Does that hurt?” Tuk asks shyly, peeking out from behind Neytiri to see. 
Ralak shakes his head with a smile, too overjoyed with the safe delivery of his first born son to even notice anymore.
“No pain. Only happiness.” Ralak says softly, accent heavy on his tongue as he looks back down at his now stirring babe. 
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faithfulren · 4 months
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the unseen heart
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y/n has feelings for bakugo, but he seems oblivious or uninterested, causing emotional turmoil.
----
you sighed as you watched katsuki bakugo from across the classroom. he was leaning back in his chair, arms crossed, his usual scowl plastered on his face. despite his rough exterior, you couldn't help but be drawn to him. there was something about his determination and raw strength that captivated you.
"y/n, are you even paying attention?" your friend, mina, whispered, nudging you with her elbow.
you snapped back to reality, your cheeks flushing. "sorry, what did you say?"
mina rolled her eyes playfully. "i said, you're staring again. when are you going to tell him how you feel?"
you glanced at bakugo again, then quickly looked away. "i don't know if I can. he probably doesn't even see me that way."
mina frowned, concern in her eyes. "you won't know unless you try. besides, bakugo might surprise you."
you nodded, though doubt gnawed at you. the bell rang, signaling the end of class. you gathered your things and headed out, determined to push your feelings aside and focus on training.
--
later that day, you found yourself alone in the training grounds, practicing your quirk. you were so absorbed in your routine that you didn't notice bakugo approaching until he spoke.
"you're doing it wrong."
you spun around, startled. "bakugo! what are you doing here?"
he crossed his arms, eyes narrowed. "what does it look like? i'm here to train. and you're going about it all wrong."
you frowned, a mix of irritation and embarrassment bubbling up. "i'm doing just fine, thanks."
bakugo scoffed. "fine? you're wasting energy with unnecessary movements. watch."
he demonstrated a more efficient technique, his movements precise and powerful. you couldn't help but admire him, even as your heart ached. it was moments like this that reminded you why you fell for him in the first place.
"see? that's how you do it," he said, turning to you.
you nodded, trying to mask your emotions. "thanks, bakugo."
he grunted in response, turning back to his own training. you watched him for a moment, then resumed your practice, trying to ignore the pang in your chest.
--
days turned into weeks, and your feelings for bakugo only grew stronger. each interaction with him, no matter how brief, was a bittersweet reminder of your unspoken love. you laughed at his snarky comments, cherished his rare moments of praise, and supported him during difficult missions. yet, he remained oblivious, or so it seemed.
one evening, after a particularly grueling day, you found yourself sitting alone on the dormitory rooftop. the cool breeze was a welcome relief, but it did little to soothe your troubled heart. you gazed at the stars, wondering if you'd ever have the courage to tell bakugo how you felt.
"hey, y/n.."
you turned to see mina standing behind you, a concerned look on her face. "hey, mina. what's up?"
she sat down beside you, her expression softening. "i wanted to check on you. you've been acting kind of distant lately."
you sighed, resting your chin on your knees. "it's just… bakugo. i can't get him out of my head, mina. but he doesn't seem to notice me that way."
mina gave you a sympathetic smile. "have you tried talking to him? really talking?"
you shook your head. "i don't think i can. what if he rejects me? what if it ruins everything?"
mina placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "you'll never know if you don't try. and even if it doesn't go the way you hope, at least you'll have closure."
you pondered her words, feeling a mixture of fear and determination. maybe it was time to finally tell bakugo how you felt, no matter the outcome.
--
the next day, you decided to take mina's advice. you found bakugo in the common area, reading a hero magazine. taking a deep breath, you approached him, your heart pounding.
"bakugo, can we talk?"
he glanced up, his eyebrows raised. "what is it?"
you shifted nervously, trying to find the right words. "i… i have something i need to tell you."
he set the magazine aside, giving you his full attention. "well, spit it out."
You took another deep breath, your hands trembling slightly. "bakugo, i… i've had feelings for you for a long time. i know you might not feel the same way, but i needed to tell you."
for a moment, there was silence. bakugo's expression was unreadable, and you feared the worst. then, he spoke.
"y/n, i…"
before he could finish, the alarm sounded, signaling a villain attack. the moment was shattered, and bakugo's expression hardened. "we'll talk later. right now, we have to go."
you nodded, pushing your feelings aside as you prepared for the mission. as you followed bakugo out, you couldn't help but wonder what he was going to say. but for now, you had to focus on being a hero, even if your heart was breaking.
--
the mission was successful, but the conversation with bakugo never happened. days turned into weeks, and you couldn't bring yourself to bring it up again. you continued to fight alongside him, hiding your feelings behind a mask of professionalism.
but every now and then, you'd catch bakugo looking at you with an unreadable expression, and you'd wonder if maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way. until then, you would keep your heart guarded, hoping that one day, he might see you as more than just a teammate.
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heartsteel-heartbeats · 11 months
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Heartsteel Kayn relationship HCs!
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No warnings for this one, you may proceed.
(( Psst! Hey! It’s not explicitly listed that you are also a performer, but you are free to assume that! I like leaving stuff open for ya. Also I may have gone a bit overboard… Sorry! )) ~ OBBY 💗
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Before Heartsteel
You’ve been with him before he was kicked out of his old band (maybe even well before he started his music career), so of course, Rhaast was no secret to you. He never was, really. You actually liked Rhaast and loved seeing him just go crazy and do what he wanted without much of a care of the consequences. Kayn figured this is why he was initially drawn to you, because you accepted this part of him.
His band was pretty much the opposite. They held him back extensively because of Rhaast. The situation itself and seeing him lash out time to time made you worried on how much more he could stand being with that group. Some days, you just let him rant to you. You don’t know much on the other members in general besides their names and their roles in the band, but seeing him so frustrated because of them felt like maybe it’s best if you didn’t.
When Kayn did get kicked out, you let him stay around for a bit. A bit eventually became a while. Totally weren’t preparing for this, you made sure there was plenty of room for him. An artist needs his own space after all, though he didn’t exactly pick up his guitar for some time.
It’s been rough for Kayn for a while. He was getting easily irritated over the smallest things and seemed to often get into fights online. You’ve had to keep him off social media more than once before he really made things worse for himself. His reputation has taken quite a hit when he was kicked out, so this was for the best if it means he doesn’t damage further by doing something stupid.
Rhaast, on the other hand, was a bit harder. Rhaast liked to leave a mark, mostly in a physical sense. There were times where you had to stop him from actually getting into serious trouble. It was hard to talk him out of it and sometimes you had to keep him from walking out that door. Doing such a thing did make you feel bad since you’re holding him back almost like his old band did with him, so there were times where you hesitated. Don’t get him wrong though, he knows you’re just worried about his wellbeing.
When he finally did pick up his guitar again, the songs he made were quite clearly targeted towards his old band. Rhaast was going all out and you encouraged that. Of course, these songs never went public for obvious reasons (though Rhaast almost argued with you to upload them somewhere). Hearing songs like these from him were really the one and only times where you can hear just how truly angry he was. Still, you were glad he was letting it out in a way that felt natural to him. Artists letting out their frustrations through songs weren’t uncommon, and most of the ones out there needed to have their listeners read between the lines to understand and see the artist. But you? You didn’t have to. It was all right there in front of you.
Approaching Kayn on the topic itself is rather difficult as he tends to get defensive and dismissive over it, so really, the best you could do was get his mind off of it for a little while. Anything works as long as he was doing something, anything. It didn’t matter what it was.
It’d take quite some time for him to actually come to you for comfort on the matter. When he does though, it was a huge weight off of both of your shoulders. It basically just happened one night, and it was one of those nights for him where his thoughts were keeping him awake. He can’t sleep, you can’t sleep either, so you two just kind of talked for a bit to tire each other out. Eventually, the topic shifts and you can feel his hold on you tighten ever so slightly.
Kayn almost never showed a vulnerable side of him, especially around you. He had his own reasons for that. On the rare occasion that he does, know that it means he trusts you more than anything.
He is happy that you stayed and helped him as long as you did (both being his muse and just supporting him). He makes you aware of it during that night and he does continue to show his appreciation in his own way, whether it’s simply some quality time or even writing a song for you.
Things did eventually calm down and Kayn was beginning to just enjoy doing what he wanted to do again just for the fun of it rather than out of spite. As long as he’s happier now. There’s nothing else to say about his old band.
General stuff between you two
Teasing. So much teasing… He loves your flustered and/or slightly annoyed look when he does it. He finds it adorable.
Kayn can drive but for the love of god never actually let him drive. The chances of getting pulled over and arrested for reckless driving is really high up there. Just let him be in charge of the music, he’ll at least he satisfied with that.
You two still text each other on Discord even if you’re in the same room. He just likes hearing you laugh over what he sends. This does include videos he finds online that he thinks (knows) you’ll laugh to.
Matching hair color! It’s fun, a pain in the ass to get done, but fun. There was a bit of a mess in the bathroom though, and that wasn’t fun to clean.
“Hah! It looks like a murder took place in here!” “I murdered your hair, that’s for sure.” “What?! Are you kidding me? This isn’t the first time you did my hair! It’s perfect!” “Well yeah, but your long hair is gone… I really loved your long hair…” “I mean- It’ll grow back eventually.”
Lunch and dinner sometimes include ordering some food and having it delivered, then eating it in your shared room. Is it healthy food? No, but hey, at least you’re both eating food. If it wasn’t that, then one of you was cooking. Kayn’s cooking is not that bad, but it could be better. Don’t say that though.
Doing each other’s makeup. Although, it started with you wanting to do his and him saying he’ll let you do it if you let him do yours. Now it’s routine.
Playing with his hair. Loves it when you do it. Just him laying his head beside you, or on your chest, with your hands running through his hair. It calms him down and makes him sleepy sometimes. He’ll deny it though.
“Sleepy?” “No.” *literally about to fall asleep* “Sureee.” “Shut up.”
Though there are some nights where one of you can’t fall asleep no matter what you do. Whether it’s insomnia or the other just won’t shut the fuck up (Kayn), at least one of you is still awake. If you feel someone brushing your hair in the middle of the night and giving small pecks, it’s totally not Kayn.
Heartsteel
When Heartsteel found one of his songs and sent him a message, you were okay with him eventually moving in with the group. Kayn has been talking about them for some time, and you think this might be good for him. From what he’s been telling you, these people accept Rhaast. Totally not the one reason why you were okay with it in the first place.
He often texts you about what’s going on and teases you by asking if you miss him. Say no. :) Sometimes complains to you about Yone, but it’s just him being assigned a chore (dish duty).
It does get a bit lonely sometimes now, but he’s happy to be around a group of people that doesn’t push Rhaast away so it doesn’t bother you. Kayn does make up for it by calling you and sometimes dropping by. The second one isn’t often though. Again, gotta keep fans and paparazzi from finding out about your relationship. Although speaking of calls, there were times where you two fell asleep while on call. It usually ends with one of your phones running out of battery.
The group seems to know about you. Yone and Sett has heard of you once or twice, but K’Sante is the one that knows about you the most. According to K’Sante, Kayn talks about you a lot. Ezreal only knows about you cause he got a peak at his phone and saw your name thanks to one of your over night phone calls and he won’t stop asking Kayn about you.
“Dude who’s [name]??? Is that who you’re always talking to all night?” “The hell are you looking in my phone for??!”
Ahem… Kayn did get some relationship advice from K’Sante. Honestly this is exactly why he knows a lot about you from him.
Aphelios only knows about you because of Sett, who then tells Alune.
Kayn tried to keep the music video of Paranoia on the down low so it could surprise you, but he needed to tell you about the dog the moment they picked him up. With that aside, seeing the music video definitely put a smile on your face. He looked like he was having a lot of fun with the new band (you totally saw the Discord calls Aphelios leaked).
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