#how many chances to get out can one person get? i feel like im long done with my limit and i dont even know how i fucked it up this bad
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caluski · 1 month ago
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its crazy how much space i take. being loud and bothering others without bringing anything valuable into their lives. demanding attention, wanting to be loved even when i know im not good enough for any of it. i wish i could go quietly
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tittysuckersworld · 13 days ago
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vent tw, if you have depression please please just dont interact-
#ok so. to preface this for anyone with depression going past this point. im not gonna be nice. this isnt about you#this isnt about you in particular or how your secretly constantly a burden to everyone you love or how you just cant get it right#its not about having to deal with a person with depression but more how the social climate has made it so its so hard to deal with every#thing. thats all. if you read more do not blame me for feeling bad.#that was your only and last warning#okay so! now that hopefully all my homies with depression out there are ok- it is hard being surrounded by people with depression#sorry like. i am the only one in my imediate family without depression. and its. its hard a lot#like i care so much about these people and yet i cant help them because their either sad or tired or angry or numb most of the time#and i cant do anything. i cant do anything at all. and thats fucked!!!!! i think. sorry i am not one for curing mental illness but i really#really wish there was just a cure for depression so the people i care about could be happy and have energy and be ok#i dont want to constantly worry in the back of my head if what ill say next will lead them to going quiet and sad#or worry about how a few too many wrong moves and a hard time could push them off the edge. i know it wont happen.#but i worry about it constantly especially with the political climate#and i care for them so much and i just wish they could feel happy most of the time. just more than half is enough. more than half#gosh its gotten to the point a sertain tone of voice or someone saying their tired can make me feel bad#like bad enough i need to leave the room and go cry. everyone is alwase tired and i dont know what to do#i feel like a little kid being so sensitive by others emotions- but i cant help it. i cant help it when im surrounded#again this isnt a bash against anyone with depression. this is a bash against depression because of all the pain its given my loved ones#if i could fight depression as a just. thing i would mawl it alive. tooth and nail til all that was left was either bones. cartalige.#blood and flesh that hadent somehow made it into my stomach. and id keep it alive for a long as i could as i killed it#it would suffer 10 times the amount its made others suffer if i could. i can be a cruel bitch and i will if i ever got the chance.#and u h ya! sorry lil bit of silly moment i am just. sick of the tired. if i could id honestly never hear the phrase im tired again
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omg i really really love your blog<3 you are such a sweet person and so kind to all your followers and others on here and your writing is absolutely amazing!
i saw ur requests were open and i was wondering if you could write something for poe dameron? a hurt comfort because in your rules you said you wouldn't accept full angst which honestly is so real of you and i completely agree :D its just, ive read so many fics where poe's best friend or squadron member is either in love with him or fwb with him and he starts dating someone and they look rlly in love but then he leaves the person for the best friend and i cant help but always wonder how the person he left is feeling! and i was wondering if you could write something along the lines of this but he doesnt leave the reader and hes not really in love with his best friend or anything im so sorry this became really long but you can totally ignore this or say you cant do it its absolutely alright!<33
thank you sm though and i hope you have a good day!
Anon, thank you so much for such lovely and kind words! You are AMAZING! (Seriously, they have absolutely made my day/week/year!)
This ask has killed me (positive), my subconsciousness had a lot to say, it seems.
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Tangerine, Tangerine
Poe Dameron x GN!Reader Rating: M Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?
Warnings: angst (but with a happy ending), thoughts that a partner is cheating, blood, x-wing fight, swearing (not star wars swearing, because even though Kriff is great, I need to say fuck), Moonbeam as a nickname, typos, rail road sentences, please let me know if I’ve missed a warning!
Word Count: 4494
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It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. 
You’d misunderstood, you’d read the situation wrong, you’d seen incorrectly. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. It was just a kiss. 
Your radio crackled, “Green Leader, checking in. We’re manoeuvring in 5. Call out.”
“Green Two check.”
“Green Three check.” 
 It was just a kiss. 
“Green Four check.” 
 It was just a-
“Green Five check.” 
Just a-
“Green Six check.” 
Just-
“Green Seven,” you swallow. “Check.” 
It wasn’t just a kiss. 
You patted your helmet twice and rolled your neck, breathing deeply as you settled in. On your left, you could see some of Blue Squadron. 
This mission was straightforward - on a holopad. 
Two teams to escort The Harbringer, the resistance supply ship. It had been damaged by a rogue blast from a tie fighter just as it jumped to hyperspace and had had to make an emergency landing on one of Tre’Ral’s desert moons. 
The crew on board had managed to fix all they could. But without proper materials, there was little chance of the ship making it out of the moon’s thick atmosphere and entering hyperspace. So Blue and Green Squadrons had been dispatched. Blue 1-4 had already made contact, jump-starting The Harbringer enough to get it airborne. 
Due to Tre’Ral’s sun and planet density, the gravity on the moons was a little stronger than most world’s atmospheric pressure. 
Green Leader, Sena, had repeated through briefing at how this would affect flying. How to be ready for it. And she hadn’t been wrong, it was different flying here. Tougher. And you loved it.
You’d grown up on Para, a planet with a high gravity density. You’d learnt to fly there well before you’d flown in space. Being here on this desolate moon almost felt like home. Your movements seemed smoother, precise. No longer needing to overcorrect for your naturally ingrained harsh movements. No longer spinning out and fighting low gravity, finally working with the tide. 
The manoeuvre would see the ships escort The Harbringer out of the moon’s atmosphere and then the rest of Blue squadron would form a sort of 3D star formation around the cargo ship. All jumping to hyperspace at the same time to carry it along with them. 
Simple. 
In theory. 
Everyone had spoken about how practically textbook it was, how easy. 
But then, of course, why was Green Squadron going? 
No one at the briefing had asked, why would they when the answer was so obvious. This part of the quadrant was teething with First Order. With a slow, busted supply ship you were all practically screaming for them to come and play target practice. 
You swallow. 
You should be focusing on that, on the mission. Instead of the utter nonsense that was ricocheting around your head and piercing your heart. 
I hadn’t just been a kiss. 
You and Poe had gotten together clumsily, three months ago, your normal awkwardness drowned out by so much Polanis Red that you almost couldn’t see straight. It had been after the battle of Hurthwen, a nasty dogfight that had everyone hyped up on adrenaline. 
He had been drunk when he kissed you, you remembered that. 
Maybe he had thought… maybe he had believed he was kissing her instead. 
It made a lot more sense. 
Sena was the Green Leader, she was a great pilot. One to be reckoned with. She was kind, she was fun, she was beautiful. She and Poe had joined the resistance together, risen the ranks together. Basically inseparable. Always laughing and joking. She had been in the same squad as Poe, under his command before she was promoted to leading one of her own. 
They had always been close. Always. Best friends. 
Sickness bubbled in your throat. 
You remembered Frizz and Hank talking offhandedly, well before you and Poe were a thing. Both of them sure that Sana and Poe were dating or ‘knocking boots’ as Frizz had so elegantly put it. 
“Two people can just be friends, you know.” You’d said, trying to hide your little crush on the commander. 
“Yeah,” Frizz laughed, “But not them. You seen them together?” 
Hank chortled. 
Nonsense. You’d brushed it off then. Allowed it to creep into your thoughts when it was dark and the base was quiet. When Poe’s breathing was soft and light behind you, his arm around your waist. 
Him and Sana just made a lot more sense than him and you. 
“Yeah, but not them. You seen them together?” 
Yeah. Now you had. 
The Harbringer came into view over the horizon. The seemingly endless stretch of desert was cut through in the distance by a fearsome outcrop of crocks, leading up into a field of formidable mountains. 
Blue 1-4 were already hooked up to the cargo ship, all five hoovering moving together as they flew towards you to meet. 
You wouldn’t have said things were difficult with you and Poe. Well, you wouldn’t have said that before. It was complicated for everyone on the base, most staff were on different call schedules, off-world or on a mission at all times. Having a relationship wasn’t straightforward. There were stretches where you wouldn’t even be on the same planet for days, but…
But you had thought it was…
It didn’t matter. 
You’d gone back to the briefing room, just before take off. You’d wanted to tap the main holoscreen twice, for luck. A little ritual you’d adopted early on. Most pilots were a superstitious bunch. 
That’s when you’d seen them. Sana and Poe. Locked in a tight embrace, their lips pressed together in a deep kiss. 
Your heartbeat had thundered so loud you’d been surprised they hadn’t heard it. But they’d been too preoccupied to notice your presence. 
It was cliche but time had almost slowed, calmed and stretched like the moment you take aim, the second before you fired your ship's canons. 
A flash of the control panel had flickered into your mind when you saw them, your fingers twitching as if you had the trigger in your hands. 
You’d turned and left without a sound. Without a word. Without letting them know you saw. Leaving them to… whatever they did next. 
Was it their first kiss? One of many? Had this been going on well before Poe had taken your hand and led you outside so he could clumsily name all the constellations, making up new ones and backstories to make you smile?
“That one here, you see it?” 
“Yeah?” 
“That one’s the best one, best in the sky. It’s orange and it’s right next to that other orange one, like they’re holding hands.”
You’d laughed. 
“That’s me and you Moonbeam.” 
Moonbeam. That stupid nickname. 
You’d gone to your room quickly, the one that you and Poe shared, and taken off the necklace he’d given you. 
“I want you to wear it for luck, Moonbeam.” 
That stupid smile he’d given you as he’d slipped it from his own neck and onto yours. That stupid kiss he’d given you after. You’d thought that expression was cute when you’d seen it, pure. Now it just seemed like he’d been laughing at you, playing some sick joke. ‘How long can I string someone along?’, ‘how far can I go before they realise it’s all pretend?’ 
You’d left the necklace with the ring slipped through on the small set of shelves in the corner, the one Poe normally kept his holopad on. 
It was idiotic, but your neck felt… empty without it. Cold. Every now and then you touched at where the chain normally lay.A subconscious action only brought to the forefront of your mind by the sensation of your own skin instead of metal. 
Something caught your eye in the distance, a flash of sunlight glinting off the horizon. Dread twisted in your stomach as realisation dawned a second earlier than your scanners. The extra gravitational pressure and high quantity of magnetic metals in the sand affected everyone’s ship computers, causing a brief information delay. 
Your alarm sounded out inside your ship, the radar blinking into life as tie fighters approached from the rock outcrop. They’d used the high mineral concentration to hide their energy signatures. 
“Fuck.” 
The radio screamed into life, orders out pouring over orders. Blue squadron rushed into position while Green scrambled. 
“Blue in place now!”
“It’s gonna be rushed, but we haven’t got a choice!”
“No time!” “Incoming!” “Green half split! Evens left, odds right, let’s keep those fighter’s off The Harbringer and Blue squadron! Gamma pattern!” 
“How far away is the Delta?” 
“Calling in attack pattern!” 
You swing to the right, falling in with Hank and Petal and bank hard, it takes less than a second for you to notice that your squad's movements aren’t as precise and well-timed as usual. The stronger gravity throwing everyone, except you, off their game. 
That didn’t bode well. 
You climb for a second, punching hard on the acceleration to get some height and a clear view of the oncoming and flick on your targeting system. The image glitches, doesn’t hold steady even as you focus. Off by half a fraction. 
Shots fire out from both sides, most missing.
“Targeting not working!”
“It’s out!”
“I can’t get a clear shot!” “The read is malfunctioning!”
“Half a click 4/8!” You shout, as you take your shot, hitting two tie fighters head-on. 
“Good shot Green 7!” You can hear the joy and relief in Sana’s voice. “Half a click 4/8, you’ll all have to manually adjust!” 
You dive, swirling around two fighters before skimming close to the ground, trying to draw their attention away from the cargo ship. You spin, slamming your control harder than you would need to in any other situation as you turn and spike past another fighter, taking out one in the process. 
“Wooooo!” Hank yells over the intercom.
You laugh. “Bet you never thought you wished you grew up on Para right?” 
“Every day new things surprise me.” He banks left, you right, Petal dives down. 
It’s too much of a rush, everything all at once, patterns and shots flying, your ship’s systems screaming as you push the engines a little too hard. 
The tie fighters aren’t moving as fast as they normally do, bogged down even more than the x wings by the gravity. They can’t make their normal quick turns and it’s affecting their strike patterns. 
Good. 
But there’s so, so many of them. 
Explosions fly debris out, and you climb higher. Needing a clear view and unable to rely on your targeting systems. 
More shots fly out, The Harbringer is taking a battering but so far its shielding is holding the hull together. 
The radio keeps screaming, overlapping voices that blur into background noise. You’re trained to only hear your call signal, direct messages. You vear off, narrowingly missing a blast to your wing. 
“-On my tail.” Frizz’s voice cuts through the noise, a sharp stab of dread slicing you open as you turn, automatically looking to the reader, it’s still not clear. 
You climb, twist, fall, see a Green ship, followed tightly by two fighters. Accelsorate, bank. You fire. You’re aiming in a panic now, not adjusting right, not breathing through. 
The shot hits one, before you have to swerve to avoid being struck head-on. 
“Thanks 7!” Cril yells over the speaker, managing to shake the other fighter. 
There’s a scream, a crackle of sound over the system. A sound you know too well. You see the ship crash into the desert, exploding before it even hits the ground as the a tie fighter’s shots hit home. 
Frizz.
“No…” 
“Check!” Sana yells, unable to tell who went down with the system glitching. “Green Leader!”
You swerve around another fighter, everything moving so fast, too fast.
“Green Two check!” Cril.
“Green Three check!” Petal. 
Nothing. 
“Green Four!” Sana yells. No call replies. Balna. Not Frizz. 
The momentary rush of relief at Frizz being alive is cut horribly short by the image of Balna’s kind face that bursts behind your eyes. 
You bank left, right, swerve, take aim, twist. 
There’s a chance, a good chance that you’ll win. All of Blue is in place, The Harbringer is moving up with them. The tie fighters are taking more hits than the resistance, their less aerodynamic design hampering them more than usual with this gravity. 
All you need is…
Another alarm. 
“Oh… fuck.” You slam on your intercom. “Z-Fighter!” 
A chorus of yells answer you. 
A Z-fighter, a quick moving ship a fraction bigger than The Harbringer, with two powerful front guns. A few shots would take the cargo ship out completely. 
And with how slow the supply ship was moving, that wouldn’t be hard. 
The Z-fighter storms in, moving fast but not firing, they were obviously having problems with their targeting too, needing a close clear shot. 
“Take out the main cannons!” Sana yells, the panic in her voice cutting through the chaos. You turn, aim, take out a tie fighter but have to veer up at the last second. Twist. 
Someone comes in after you, aiming for the cannons, a fighter clips their side and they can’t correct quick enough. They spiral off, their ship crashing into the Z-fighter. Obliterated on impact. The Z-fighter seemingly unaffected. 
You loop back, adrenaline blinding you to everything, anything that’s not the goal. Take out the canons. Take out the canons. People are counting on you. Take out the canons. 
You fire, a clear shot before you bank to the side to avoid a direct hit to your hull. 
It’s not enough.
You need to pass again, and again. Other x wings flying in, taking shots, the gravity making them slow, imprecise. Only one blast hits and it’s not full on.You’re the only one hitting directly and it’s not enough. 
It’s not enough. It’s not enough. It’s not enough.
There’s shouting and screaming, the zipping of the fighters as they cut through the sky. Someone yells your name and you don’t hear it. 
Another hit lands. One canon out. Only one left. You can do this. The Harbringer is nearly in the upper atmosphere, they can jump from there. Just a few more seconds. You can do this.
“Black Leader!” Poe’s call sign cuts over the dim, followed by the call signs of half of the Red Squadron.
They must have scrambled after first contact. 
The canon’s powering up, a quick glance to your panel tells you that The Harbringer’s shield is barely functioning. They won’t survive a direct hit. With how close they are and the Blue Squadron ships that are attached there’s no way they wouldn’t be pulled down too if The Harbringer fell. 
The canon needs more than one hit to take it down, more than five. No way you can shoot five times before they fire. 
You twist, full force. Pumping the acceleration. Fire. Fire. Fire. Three hit. You don’t slow down. Fire. Fire. Fire. They hit. The canon is still operational. 
Sana is screaming orders, so many shots fire at the canon, none of them hit right, hit full on. 
Two chances left. 
One to fire. If it takes out the canon you just have enough time to serve up, to avoid getting smashed to bits. 
Poe shouts for you over the intercom. 
You don’t answer.
One to fire. If it doesn’t take out the canon then… then you crashing into it head on will. 
Poe yells again, this time cutting over everyone else, sending you a direct call. 
You don’t answer.
You fire. Hit. 
Poe screams for you, his voice painful and panicked. He’s already worked out your plan before you had even thought of it. 
The canon doesn’t go down. 
You cut the call to him. Blocking out his signal. You don’t want Poe to think you did this for him. 
You don’t want him to think you did this because of him.
“Green Seven!” Sana yells, seemingly knowing what you’re going to do. 
Hank screams your name over the radio. It hurts. You think it’s the worst sound you’ve ever heard. 
“Moonbeam!” Poe’s voice is ripped raw from yells, Sana has patched him through over her signal. You were wrong. That was the worst sound you’ve ever heard. 
You dip at the last second, not hitting the canon straight on but smashing your right wing into it. The force surprises you, even though you braced for it. The impact sending you spiralling. You try to regain control, try to turn into the spin. Training taking over even though you're a wing and half a ship down. 
Shouts over the radio, you barely make out- 
“-cannon’s down-”
“-Jump!-”
A spark hits, your console explodes into flame, shards hit your side and you yell. Sky and sand tumbling over each other over and over, and you manage to hit the eject button.
The force rips you upwards, free briefly from your burning ship. But you’re too close to the floor, not enough time to slow down your velocity. There’s-
.
The impact of the ground hurts. Pain explodes along every nerve despite the ejection seat dampening. You scream. 
Agony is everywhere, everything. You can’t feel anything else, can’t comprehend anything except floods of pain. 
You hit your belt, falling out and to the desert floor. Looking up just enough to gauge where you are, where your ship fell. It’s an exploded, fireball mess far off. At least it’s not an immediate threat. You crawl to the side and sob. 
There’s blood falling into the sand from your head, the right side of your face. You can’t see properly out of your eye and your left leg is definitely broken. Shattered. Still, you drag yourself forward, digging your hands in and pulling as something ribs and tears in your side, warm liquid soaking into your fight suit. 
The resistance will jump to hyperspace, they’ll get out. They’ll make it. 
You just needed to get away from your ejection seat, when the First Order doubles back they’ll see it, they’ll see you. You just needed to get to an outcrop. Hide. 
Make it look like you had a weapon. 
Make them shoot you first instead of taking you for questioning. 
Can’t let them take you alive. 
There's the faint sound of a ship somewhere above, landing gear coming down. 
For a second you freeze, panic gripping your heart, you dig into the sand hard, pull, pull, pull  yourself closer towards the outcrop of rocks. The air seems to be leaving your lungs, your breathing ragged and hot. 
You cough, red hitting the dirt, iron hitting your tongue. 
You crawl, pull. The pain is making you light-headed. You gasp, trying to get in a full lung full of air. It's not enough. It's not enough. It's not enou…
.
When you open your eyes your first thoughts are simple. Clear. 
I'm dead.
You were either shot in the head in the sand or simply succumbed to your wounds. 
But then things begin to feel… fuzzy. Not painful, but not right either.
And that's when you smell the Bacta. And then the light starts to change to distorted shapes, and finally, you recognise Hank sitting next to you.
“You better not be dead too,” you whisper your voice dry from lack of use. 
Hank jumps up, goes to grab your hand and then stops himself. There are tears in his eyes. He softly places his fingers on yours and you squeeze back. 
“You're a fucking idiot you know that?” He grins and you laugh. Which hurts a little, but feels good. 
“One sec,” he moves away just to speak to someone outside before he comes back. “I'm the one that picked you up, you know?” 
“Now who's the fucking idiot?” You smile but your chest aches, heavy with the weight of his words. “You shouldn't have done that.” You whisper. 
“What?”
“You were under fire, you should have just jumped-” 
“I saw you eject. Saw you moving. You think I was just gonna leave you there?” He sits. “Besides, I was closest. The commander would have blown up the whole planet to get to you.” 
You swallow, turning away slightly. Going cold at the mention of Poe. 
Hank mistakes the look for guilt, and squeezes your hand again. “Hey, look,” he smiles, “you took out the canons, you're a fucking idiot but you know how to fly in heavy gravity.” 
You snort. 
He smiles. 
“Who did we lose?” 
Hank sighs, “three…”
You nod, closing your eyes for a moment. 
“There-”
There was shouting from outside, a crash and then Poe stormed into the room, med staff close behind him.
You swallow, sickness building in your throat.
He looked awful, drawn out and worn thin like he hadn't slept or eaten in days. His eyes red. 
He rushes forward, Hank moves out of the way, so Poe can take your hand in his. He leans forward and kisses you softly, carefully stroking your cheek, being gentle with your bandages. 
“Moonbeam…” he mutters and you flinch back from him. He looks at you with sad, confused eyes. 
“Look, I can only allow one visitor in here.” The med staff member says.
Hank stands, and speaks when you frown. “I'll see you later, Poe’s the one that hasn't left your side. The only reason he wasn't here when you woke was because I made him go take a shower.” Hank smiled, “you can thank me for that later.” 
Both you and Poe are quiet as the others leave. Poe searching your face for something, while you look away. 
“Moonbeam,” he says again softly, but there's an edge to his words that you're not used to. “What the fuck happened on that mission? What the fuck is this?” He holds up his hand, his necklace and ring wrapped around his palm. His eyes are shiny as he speaks. “Were you trying to kill yourself? What the fu-”
“Poe,” you breathe. Best to get it over quickly. “I saw.”
He frowns. “Saw? Saw what?” 
“You and Sana, in the briefing room… before take off.” 
The small frown on his forehead relaxes slightly for a moment as his eyebrows raise. “You… saw?” 
You nod. 
“You, but, I didn’t see you when I pushed her away?” His voice cracks at the end, a splinter running into the muscle of your heart. 
“You pushed her away?” 
“You didn’t see that?” He frowns again, blinking hard, “you just, just saw and walked away and what? Took this off?” He holds up the necklace again. A tear falls from his eye and he rubs it away furiously as if it had scorched his skin. “Just, just left it and… and…” 
“I didn’t know you didn’t want it…” You say quietly, emotion is making your chest tight and constricted. “I didn’t know you didn’t want her…”
“What?” He breathes, moving closer and squeezing your hand. There’s disbelief in his voice, confusion. Anger, it’s deep down and controlled but it’s there. “No, look, she kissed me. I pushed her away, I, I even logged a report, I’ll pull up the god damned camera feed to show you.” 
He’s not lying. His gaze is unwavering and he’s got that painfully earnest look in his eyes. 
“You thought…” he shakes his head slightly, his voice pained, “you thought I’d-”
“You both make sense together.” You blurt out. “She’s… and you’re…” you shrug and sigh, on the verge of tears yourself. “You’re both the best of us.”
“No,” he shakes his head fiercely, “Moonbeam, no.” He wipes roughly at his eyes again, glancing down for a moment and you lightly touch his head. 
He looks up instantly as you stroke his curls, still lightly damp. 
“I’m sorry.” You whisper.
Poe shakes his head again, grabbing your hand and kissing your wrist. “I’m sorry.” He kicks off his shoes and clambers into bed next to you a little awkwardly. He’s trying to be careful, trying not to hurt you but needing closeness so badly it’s suffocating. 
You scooch to the side as quickly as you can in your current state and lean into him as he wraps his body around you softly and kisses you sweetly. 
“Love you, love you, love you,” he repeats after every kiss, pressing his lips to every part of your skin that he can reach.
“Why are you sorry?” You mutter as he holds you, “I’m the one that messed up.”
He shakes his head, “I’m sorry that I don’t make you realise how special you are, how perfect.” He kisses your cheek, “you’re the best of us Moonbeam.” 
You tut but his grip tightens and he holds you tight. 
“And one hell of a pilot.” He grins. 
You scoff. 
“You are.” He kisses you again. 
You nuzzle against him, settling into his touch. Knots have formed in your chest, pain that’s loosening. His warmth is comforting. Home. 
“Sana said she didn’t know I was in a relationship,” he says softly, resting his chin on the top of your head. “I don’t know if that’s true, but… I do believe her.” 
You nod. “She’s a good person.”
He moves so he can look you in the eyes. “Please, Moonbeam, I… don’t,” he bites his tongue, closing his eyes for a long second. “I want to tell you, I want to say, don’t ever do something like that again… don’t… don’t put yourself at risk.” 
You touch his cheek lightly. 
“But it’s not fair is it?” He smiles sadly. “We both do that every day… You know you were gonna be in my squadron at first?” 
You shake your head in surprise and he nods.
“You were, but… well,” he blushes ever so slightly. “I was so embarrassingly head over heels in love with you,” he laughs lightly. “For months I could hardly talk to you, you know I had to down five Polanis Red’s in a row after Hurthwen just so I could ask you out? I knew I wouldn’t be able to function right if you were in my squad. I knew that I’d put everyone else at risk because if it came down to it… if there was a choice between everyone in the squad dying, everyone on the base, or you… I’d let the resistance burn instead of lose you. Every single time.” 
You close your eyes, fighting the emotion that needs to break through and squeeze his hand like a lifeline. “I love you.” You whisper. 
Your fingertips brush against the necklace, the ring hooking around the first knuckle of your index finger by chance. 
Poe slowly moves his hand from yours and unwinds the necklace from his palm before carefully placing it over your head, giving you plenty of time to move away if you wanted. 
“I love you Moonbeam,” he mutters, his voice low, reverent. Then leans in to kiss you. You kiss him back with all your heart. 
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Thank you for reading!
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tannieastrology · 9 months ago
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Solar Return Observations💋❤️🌹
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💋This year I have a Virgo Ascendant in my solar return along with 2 Venus returns and Ive been so much more health/beauty focused. Like I care more about myself and am trying to break bad habits that I made in 2023. Im also alot more driven in sports/goals and back when I had this in 2020 I was also into skincare and makeup alot too and was into running and working out. I feel like the year you get a virgo ascendant for your solar return is the year to cleanse bad habits that youve made in the previous year its like a chance to start new.
💋The year you have Uranus in the 11th house is most likely a year where you will lose friends but will also get the chance to make new ones. I had Uranus and North Node in my 11th house last year and my 3 year long friend who claimed we were “besties” backstabbed me and cut me off with no explanation BUT I also found a friendgroup who are here to stay and am incredibely blessed to have met them. This was a year where my view on society and people changed significantly but i feel it was for the better.
💋Last year I had Sun and Pluto in the 8th house along with Moon and Mars in the 12th. I struggled really bad with my mental health(also a Gemini Rising) and my whole personality shifted from these experiences. From January my grandma almost died of cancer, I faced unrequited love, bullying from “friends”, losing friends, and overall felt pressure from school. I was just sensitive to what people said about me and let little things bother me and now that Im looking back none of it was a big deal but I dont know in the moment it affected me way too much. It made me realize that you cant ever really put your faith in people and that you need to trust and respect yourself the most. That you cant be attached to people and your faith should be put in god (atleast thats what I think). Most of the pain came from lowself esteem and I do believe that these placements made me grow a thicker skin and to become more independant. Im a completely different person now and while I did lose my innocence to the world I feel that I can survive on my own now. I guess I just grew a backbone which im really thankful for.
💋Everything that happened last year (like growth transformation death) is all related to the 8th house which is where gemini is in my natal so also keep that in mind where your solar ascendant falls in your natal.
💋This year I have a Moon in Libra in the 1st house and a Virgo Lilith exactly conjunct my ascendant and Ive been getting so much praise from woman its weird? Weirdly guys have been liking my instagram stories and when I posted on my birthday so many people came and viewed my story who dont even follow me. I also feel more pretty and empowered this year and Ive been trying to figure out how I want to present myself more. Compared to last year I feel like I am more upfront with my feelings. I feel like this year I might not struggle as much since im a Libra Ascendant and my solar return is Virgo and almost aligns with my natal chart.
💋My sadness and pain from my 2023 solar return actually really did last until my birthday aka my 2024 return😭 So keep in note that solar returns will remain effective until your next birthday.
💋I have Pluto, Mars, Sun, Vertex, Mercury, and POF, all in the 5th house this year and Im really hoping I can finally meet someone to date for the first time but so far its manifested as being more interested in hobbies/ having fun. Im not complaining tho I actually have been so much happier and I havent cried that much at all from this new Solar Return. I will say I feel like having Pluto in the 5th house will make your view change a bit on relationships. I lost feelings for my 3 year crush and I also feel like its impossible for me to properly catch feelings now. I dont know its like I broke the cycle of infatuting crushes and am way more realistic when it comes to love. Part of it is probably just me getting older but I think thats a good thing. I dont expect love like the movies anymore but i just want something REAL.
💋The year you have 8th house Venus a old flame might come back into your life.
💋Tell me why I have Jupiter, North Node, and Chiron in the 8th house this year and ive been attracting money/all the things i want so easily? I got almost $450 for my birthday, a vanity, a lulu bag, and a big party and its only been like 2 weeks😭
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💋 When I turn 18 in 2026 I have a stellium of Venus, Mercury, Sun, Mars, and Pluto in the 12th SOOO im predicting that I might be struggling with mental health that year, probably lost in where I want to head after high school, or Im either hiding sum secret love affair(8th house ruler of libra in 12) or like something about it is forbidden/ secretive. I also do have Moon and Jupiter in Cancer in the 5th house that year so that should be interesting lol. Let me know what aspects/ placements in your future solar returns yall find interesting and have down in the comments I wanna see.
💋A Saggitarius Ascendant/ 9th placements might mean that you get opportunity to travel
💋Having Lilith in the 2nd house might mean that you struggle with eating consistently or might struggle with self worth and body image.
💋Venus in the 4th house will be a year where you try to improve your home and find comfort in familial relationships
💋Look at transits to your solar return too theyll give you a deeper dive in whats going on you can look on astroseek.
💋12th house placements will make you inclined to find god
💋On November 16 2021 I caught feelings bad for this guy and I would go on to like him for a long time. Near that time I had a Venus Return and also a transit Solar Return with a 7th house stellium(Sun,Mars,Mercury,Moon in Libra/Scorpio). I was around this guy 24/7 and it just unexpectedly happened. Near that time Iwas having so much fun with my friends in cross country I feel so fond about those days that I could never forget.
💋 Last year having a Gemini Rising but placements like Mars and Moon in the 12th made me get talked about unknowingly behind my back so keep that in mind. Girls secretly hated me and also one of my “friends” twisted my words and spread drama about me.
💋Pay special attention to Chiron and where it is in your chart ESPECIALLY if its in retrograde
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Anyways I hope yall enjoyed this was very last minute and I know people have been complaining about there not being enough Solar Return observations so here I am lol. See yall next time💋
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thoughtsforsoob · 4 months ago
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most to least likely ateez members to become loser pervy bf of yours 😆
- 🐰
a/n: hi 🐰 anon! im sorry i havent been able tio finish any of your other requests. ive been getting writers block but....this request?? irl, im into nerdy guys (which are almost always pervy losers in my experience) so i would say im an expert at this point. thank you for the request! i will get to everything in my inbox soon before uni starts back up again next month! also, would anyone be interested in pics from the show this weekend? lemme know so i can take some and share!
nsfw under the cut!
the first person to come to my mind while writing this is mingi...i may be bised but thig dude is 10% cool idol and 90% nerdy loser who watches way too much h*ntai (idc if people think it's gross...some of us actually like it). i feel like outside of idol duties, he is such a loser around girls. he doesn't know how to talk to them and his flirting style is very awkward. it's so charming though. you just wanna love on him corrupt him. anyways, as a bf, he is the type to do all the cliche stuff like steal your panties, hump your pillow when you're away, etc.. He is the perfect example of pevy bf ;P
next...hongjoong? hear me out! he's stuck in that damn studio all day long so he is definately a little bit of a loser. he spends all his time around other guys so when he finally meets you and hangs out with you, you classify him a loser. his pervy bf starts to show when he starts to express his desire to take naughty pictures of you. for his eyes only! from there, it turns into public displays like him smacking your ass in front of friends or when helping you out of the car or something. it's a lot of little things that no one would notice unless they're trying really hard to notice.
lastly...yunho! he's your perfect tall, loser, pervert of a boyfriend! he doesn't have all that many friends so his loser self spends a ton of time with you. that causes him to have more time to think about all of the nasty things he wants to do to you. it give him more time to do those things too. he obviously reads a lot of manga so he get's tons of ideas from hi little secret stash of 18+ mangas ;) you know for a fact he's tying you up and shit every chance he gets.
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e-vay · 4 months ago
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so… i turn thirty this year & after two failed relationships, im unsure how to have hope i’ll ever find my “person”. Ive been following you for a long time… how did you have hope that you’d eventually find someone and have a happy relationship?
If this is too intense or personal to ask, dont worry i just,,, i dont know. Its a struggle to feel like i’ll ever find The One and i know you went through something similar so… maybe you’d just have advice?
Thank you,,, i hope youre having an amazing night ❤️
I don’t mind you asking me this. If talking about the hard times I went through can help others get through it, I think it’s worth discussing. 
Like you said, I also struggled with love for a long time and after a few devastating relationships I gave up on dating altogether for a while. But, in hindsight, that ended up being a blessing because I was able to spend time bettering myself and—most importantly—learn to love myself. Yes, having a partner can make our lives richer, but I think it’s important to be able to enjoy your own company. Before, I thought the void inside of me needed to be filled by another person, so I would go out of my way to find somebody to do that without actually worrying whether or not they were the correct fit for me. Having time to focus on myself made me a better person (I think), and it ultimately ended up being for the best because I no longer felt like I was less than. Of course, I would still feel lonely from time-to-time and I’ve always been a romantic so I love the idea of love, but I got to the point where I felt fulfilled enough on my own so that when I met my now-husband, the feeling was significantly different. It wasn’t “I need to put this person in the hole that is my heart so that I can crawl my way up out of this pit,”... It was instead “Oh, this person significantly ADDS to the joy in my life” and that’s one of the reasons why he stood out to me as a partner. Though I would have liked to have met my husband sooner in life, honestly? Had we met sooner, before I matured and improved myself, we likely wouldn’t have worked out. I'm not saying you need to improve yourself. I'm just saying that that's what helped me and ended up giving me hope.
I also think society gives us too many unrealistic expectations and goals that we’re expected to meet by certain “deadlines”. Everybody moves at their own pace and has their own journey that’s unique to them. We can’t all be expected to follow the same linear path; humans are just too different. I was my husband’s very first girlfriend and he was 36 years old when we started dating. But when I’ve asked him if he’s upset/disappointed he never had a relationship before meeting me, he’s told me “No, I think we met when we were supposed to.”
Lastly, I want to address my personal beliefs on “The One.” Y’all know I’m a romantic and I do believe in soulmates, but I also believe we’re capable of having more than one soulmate. The world is too big for us to be limited to the chance of only ever finding one single person who is compatible for us. And if we miss out on meeting that one person, our chance of love is shot??? I just don’t believe that. When widows/widowers remarry, does that diminish the love they had for their late spouse? Of course not. It doesn’t mean their first love wasn’t just as important and meaningful as their new love. So, maybe you could find it helpful if you adopt this mindset as well. I think it makes the idea of romance seem less impossible.
I don’t know if this makes you feel any better but at the very least I hope you don’t feel worse for having read it! I don’t know you personally, but I wish you absolute happiness.
It's going to be okay 🙂
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noellefan101 · 21 days ago
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Yo I would like more streamer AU with Firefly and Jing Yuan and however you deem worthy, please and thank you.
Love your work.🥰
omg thank youuu imma go cry in my corner now
anyway... heh....
Characters: Firefly, Jing Yuan, Welt, March 7th x reader
Warnings: yes
Summary: your princess(or partner if you wanna be boring) is a streamer, a popular one at that. this is a fic about: how their chat finds out that you are dating, how they treat you off-stream and on-stream/do they treat you differently
Note: i cant set my mind to anything so this is delivered really late and im so sorry if its also shit. that previous sentence was written about a month ago, maybe even more, so sorry. and yes i know some of it seems rushed and out of character so for that i apologize, love you tho
thank you @ogstarlight for sending the request
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Firefly
How chat found out: She blushes at the mention of your name, doesnt even matter if its actually about you or not, i'd imagine even when she is SAM you can see the blush. Could even be an npc that has the same name as you, and she just started blushing because she thought of you. So its very obvious that she has some sort of crush on a person with that name, or has a lover maybe, the chat would be supportive nonetheless.
But it definitely wasn't her that got you introduced to her viewers, Kafka is to blame, but Silver Wolf was dragged into it a little much bit. so long story short, Kafka had gotten your number and called you saying Firefly needed to tell you something, and dont worry she isnt streaming(liar). So you had walked into her room confused not knowing that she was actually live and everyone now knew you. She blushed so hard i think she may have exploded.
"awww, what a cute little sweetie pie" -Kafka "honestly, shes more like a simp" -Silver Wolf 🧍🏻-Blade
On-Stream: Blushes even more when you're actually there with her, and being watched by so many people. If you kissed her on camera she cant show her face for another five days or she'll immediately go into tomato mode, absolute cutie. She doesnt treat you much different other than maybe a little less affectionate
Off-Stream: More affectionate with you, even around the other stelleron hunters. She's definitely less nervous when you're not both being viewed by hundreds of people, and she can kiss you without worrying about anything so thats nice. Also likes for you to just cuddle while she is SAM because she likes to hold you.
Jing Yuan
How chat found out: He would tell them all about you if they asked. Though they have to ask the correct questions since he would still like to keep you to himself, and would hate sharing you. And definitely hates sharing things about you when you arent there to say it yourself. So his usual responses to questions like 'who's your partner?' and 'you're just lying as to not seem as single' will be very vague descriptions of you and your relationship.
However, if you give him permission to share an achievement of yours, whether new or old, he will be talking about you non-stop for an hour or two given the chance. So safe to say his chat knew of you from the start and only waited to put a face to Jing Yuan's "amazing, lovely, beautiful, strong, sweet, and loving" partner.
On-Stream: Has fallen fully asleep on you before, his whole body on yours while you tried your best to either wake him up or stop the stream. He basically doesnt care what they think, he will be affectionate with you, to the point Yanqing told him to get off you just a little. Poor boy said the wrong thing because he just got even more touchy. Will kiss you whenever to the point his viewers get tired of his affectionate nature more than you could ever be.
Off-Stream: Literally no difference except maybe less jealous and a tiny but more suggestive. He'll kiss you a little deeper when its just you two, get a little closer, and touch you in a little more private places. It's barely a difference if you look at it over all, but it feels a little more personal compared to when he's live in front of a few thousand people.
Welt
How chat found out: actually just yaps about animation stuff and shows he likes, maybe plays games with March and Stelle if they really get him interested. But I'd imagine he also talks about some of the astral express, like how Stelle needs to stop digging in every trash can in her eyesight. Or how Dan Heng needs to sleep more because his eyebags are darker than his past. Random stuff that happens in his life but also a lot of history.
But of course he would talk about you as well, it can't be helped, though he would hold back more if you expressed that you weren't ok with that. He talks about you a lot safe to say, and he likes talking about all your interests and stuff you do, dates you go on ext. He would never share everything dont worry, just quite a lot since after he starts he finds it hard to stop. A case of they already know you to the point they could know things about you that you don't.
On-Stream: Very sweet as usual, but not very affectionate. A kiss to the cheek here and there, or maybe even sitting quietly on his lap on occasion. Nothing much other than talking with you and a tiny bit of physical affection, mostly loving you in quality time and showing interest in things you like.
Off-Stream: Way more affectionate, even around the crew, he just feels more safe around them overall since anyone could watch him. He can surprisingly talk even more when he isnt live, just the two of you laying in bed listening to each other talk about the little things and some very random things. I'm very sure you've had a 6 hour phone call multiple times just talking to each other with no break
March 7th
How chat found out: She shows them so many photos that she's taken and probably takes some during stream if shes doing IRL content. So safe to say you've been seen more than you think you have, whether she intended to show you or not. But of course you could be seen as a good friend who she likes taking photos with and of, but it is clear that you appear more than her other friends like Dan Heng, Caleus and her masters . She has more photos of you than you would even believe, and you have barely seen 15% of them and she has more than one folder just for pictures of you. (there will be less of you fully in them with your knowledge if you are camera shy, just know she takes a lot of photos anyway)
But this all made it very unsurprising when you one day walked in on her streaming, asking for something and curiously adding "love" to the sentence. Safe to say she was teased by her viewers for a few months, for both taking so many pictures of you and blushing every time you were present.
On-Stream: Loves to hug you a lot, also cracks even more dumb jokes when you're around. Kisses you, but retreats and goes out of view so no one can see how much shes blushing. The kisses shown on camera are more of a peck than anything, a nice big kiss on the cheek if she tries to be teasing or cheeky.
Off-Stream: Way better at actually kissing you properly on the mouth for once, maybe due to her being a bit shy(not that she will admit to it, without a bit of gentle pushing). Cuddles.. Lots of cuddles, no matter what. As long as its just the two of you, there will be lots of affection, much more than if it was for others to see.
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thx for reading, and yes i know i have been neglecting the genshin streamer au but my mind just isnt there idk ToT, luv ya- Masterlist
You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts
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cursedpiratestash · 5 months ago
Note
I'm going genuinely feral for your overwatch Talon headcanons im here growling and gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.. So may I request Talon with an extremely clingy reader pretty please <3
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Talon x Reader
Clingy Reader headcanons
A/n: Sorry for the long break! Was not expecting to come back to that many notes honestly it makes me super excited to write again! Thank you for requesting I hope you enjoy! <3
Doomfist:
Surprisingly enough it hardly bothers him; even the mild PDA
However, at work, he realized how lenient he has become with you and that eventually bothered him enough to talk to you about it
His position in talon demanded respect and he couldn’t commit to that with you clinging to him any chance you got
That being said you agree, more or less, to a compromise that allows him to better command a room
Thankfully, at home he anticipates your needs before they’re even needed whether it be to carry you around the house or even just a tender moment by the door as soon as he walks in
Reaper:
When he begins to realize just how clingy you are it takes him some time to adjust
He loves you dearly, but he is quick to set boundaries mainly pertaining to your behavior at work
Outside of that, however, he simply cannot help himself. You make him melt at your touch
Even through his agony he softens at your beckon call and your pleas to accompany him in his more mundane activities
In fact, despite popular belief, your clinginess comforts him in ways nothing else can
Moira:
Doesn’t mind it as much as one would think however she does establish a boundary concerning when she really has to focus on something/needs the space
Is occasionally too wrapped up in work to let you know when she would be late or wouldn’t be showing up but is easily forgiven with a little bit of a cuddle session
Despite her persistent studies she has her moments in which she craves your attention for a bit of a recharge
She comes to you masking her disheveled state with confident posture, but, the second she’s in your company she instantly relaxes as you retell the details of your day
Sombra:
Honestly doesn’t even notice that you are clingy and makes it a common occurrence to have you lay with her or on her while she works if possible
On days she's too busy or a mission is taking way too long she's already sending you a quick text with a few corresponding emojis while she's at it
She never tires of your company and is easily the biggest flirt on the team
When you two are apart she's always texting and answering you
Best chat logs out of everybody and almost never leaves you hanging unless the mission truly interferes in someway
Mauga:
If anything, this one is much clingier than you are
You two are always texting when you're apart even if he's in a meeting or briefing
You’re lucky if you even get out of bed as he’s always holding you. He hardly keeps his hands off of you when you’re together whether it be an arm over your shoulder or a hand around your waist
Your PDA makes everyone around you laughably uncomfortable and annoyed, although, you hardly notice them
Spending time with you is the best part of his day; he can’t imagine any other way he’d like to unwind
Widowmaker:
Isn’t the most touchy person out of everybody, but she tries to indulge your habits when she can
You two have a bit of a system built to avoid any uncomfortable moments when she needs her space
Regardless of this she cares about you very much and also enjoys her fair share of cuddles on the couch/in bed
Your dynamic leans more towards you talking while she listens, however, she does comment here and there when prompted
Although some distance remains, she can’t help but feel something every time she’s with you
Sigma:
Finds it incredibly endearing and indulges you quite easily when he isn’t solely focused on his work. Even so he doesn’t mind having you there with him from time to time
It’s quite common to find you two floating around spending time together and the PDA hardly warrants any complaints
His mind partially clears when he gets to spend time with you
You can see him hang on your every word as well as the joy in his eyes when he speaks so sweetly to you
Whenever you two are apart it isn’t surprising to hear him talk about you whenever he gets the chance. The other teammates are actually pretty fond of it
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eepy-evie · 5 months ago
Text
Twisted Wonderland Senior Headcanons
A/N: i am very tired as i write this, BIBI is saving my life force. I just got screamed at by my mom but the fans (no one) can’t wait 😎. Im sorry Lilia’s is kind of short, im pretty high and have been pushing this off for days.
Contents: Various non romantic headcanons for the seniors in TWST
Trigger warnings (if any): Religion mentions (Trey’s + Leona’s + Vil’s + Rook’s + Idia’s part), eating disorders (Vil’s part), stalking mentions (Rook’s part… no surprise), minor adult themes (idia’s part)
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Trey Clover
I might have this feeling only because i also bake but he has beef with multiple people about bread.
Like i mean people spreading misinformation (NO YOU DO NOT NEED TO ADD SUGAR INTO BREAD, IT DOESN’T DO MUCH)
Besides my personal beef with ig bakers…
He doesn’t listen to music, lofi background stuff at best.
He’d listen to anything someone put on with no complaint but he doesn’t feel the need for music for mundane things
With his obsession with brushing teeth i feel like he loves mint
Like i mean spearmint gum constantly, mint chocolate chip ice cream, idk mint leaves in drinks?
Bro can not understand if someone else doesn’t like mint
I believe he is an Atheist living in a Christian household
Its probably brought up rarely but he just doesn’t really believe that saying grace before dinner does anything
I think he’s way too empathetic for his own good, i mean like excusing lots of harmful things due to how someone was raised
(Totally didn’t mean to refer to Riddle but whatevs)
Cater Diamond
Get this man into kpop NOW
I feel he is rivaling Idia with his, honestly abusive, amount of slang
I dont think anyone who isn’t chronically online could stand to hear his thoughts
Or who isn’t insanely mentally unstable
But he pulls shit like “she=onika ate=burgers” every single chance he gets
Which i wont blame him for that, i pull medieval slang every second i can too
He loves brittany broski with his whole heart and soul
Not only is she funny as hell but she can also be very serious in a blink of an eye
On the low he enjoys those insider videos
He likes watching them and pausing them to argue the point to no one
Going back to kpop briefly…
He loves Aespa
Do i know any of the members of Aespa to tell you my assumed bias? No.
Also loves Zerobaseone
Ricky bias
Although i may be biased (oh my a silly pun, you scoundrel)
I do believe that he is a funny person but he is very repressed
I dont mean to make this a whole angst post but he genuinely doesn’t understand how he can express it
He is very sensitive to rejection so i think that leads him to extreme lengths to be liked
And I’m not just talking about how he acts a certain way to please others
I mean a deep rooted guilt for not being what someone wanted
Leona Kingscholar
…all my headcanons for him are purely how I’d personally treat him
Someone get this man a mukbang video and a comfy bed
He barely listens to music but when he does its some rnb stuff
He doesnt care for stuff thats too loud but he does like soft music even if he isnt open about it
I need to make him see nekomimi switch, twitter.gov, and anything else that has catgirls/boys so i can see his reaction
I dont think he holds many physical attributes to lions besides the ears, tail, and teeth but he most definitely holds many reactions and other stuff
Like he is literally sleeping in a garden most the time
He has long(er) nails and hates cutting them
Erm… idk man
I think he had a big Religious breakdown in his childhood
I dont really know what Religion he’d be to start with(due to my lack of knowledge of Religion in Africa) but he’d have the whole moment of betrayal
And then he’s completely Atheist for the rest of his life
Vil Schoenheit
He has a side account where he responds to all his hate comments
For music taste… hear me out…
He likes, on the low, vkei
But no metal like kaneto juusei or gulu gulu I mean malice mizer
He enjoys the instrumental along with the twists they take on classical
Moi meme motie x Vil Schoenheit collab when???
He 100% doesn’t express it though, he tells the public he likes whatever’s popular
I feel like, this may or may not be me projecting, he’s a hellenist
Obviously worshipping Aphrodite and has an altar for her which he never publicly speaks of but is not hiding
heres a bit of TW for eds + that type of stuff
I feel like he has an extremely bad relationship with food
He doesnt see it as something to nourish your body but instead a sort of numbers game
Like with a limit of however much someone says and the whole game is to stay under that number in calories
Besides that i feel he’s very orthorexic to the point he’d refuse to eat something if it looked too “bad” to him
(End of tw)
I know he has a very argued gender identity but i dont think he’s too confused by it
He’s very firm that he is who he is and he never seemed to have much of an inside problem with it
Maybe he got poked fun at a few times but thats all his problems with it
Rook Hunt
Get this man away from me
He is in many fandoms and somehow knows everything going on all the time
Bro personally took down Nayeon’s stalker by himself
But seriously i dont think his intentions are bad, i think he is just trying to be on top of everything in the worst was possible
He doesn’t really think its creepy himself but most the time he is
He is also a Hellenist who worships Aphrodite but also Artemis
He is so very open about his Religion
He makes those hopecore videos on tiktok and has amassed 10k followers but no one knows its him
Yearns to be in the south/midwest for the scenery
Just yearns in general
Bro is single handedly bringing back male yearning and being chalant
Saw bridgerton as a normal tuesday for him
1000 hours on c.ai
I will not, and should not, elaborate.
Is that projecting? Yes. Do i care? No.
He has the longest and some how most effective body/skincare routine ever
I mean like he’d do some shit like “once in a blue moon bath in pure hyaluronic acid for 2.5 hours on the dot”
He loves absolutely everything on everyone and its to a detriment to me personally
Hooked nose? Loved. Chubby? Love. Literally anything unconventional? Consider yourself yearned for.
He listens to anything and everything
Although he cant stand songs about break ups or anything to do with hate
Put this man on “doughnut” by TWICE now.
Idia Shroud
Yes… give me this nerdy man…
He 100% (mostly canon) loves jpop idols
Prolly an akb48 stan
I cant even get started on everything he likes
But i can tell y’all 100% that he is not overly flirty or overly easy to fluster
Istg all i see is either big dom idia or uwu shy boy idia
And both are wrong (in my opinion ig)
He starts arguments about anything and everything in game chats
Because he’s grown up in this big company family he was forced to appear better that how he truly acts so i believe that would also entail with being a die hard hellenist
But without any spotlights he does care, he just likes his games and anime
Speaking of anime…
He loves shoujo, he’s in hiding though
He literally wants to be sawako from “from me to you” but will never say it
Somebody come get this man
If anyone asks he just loves Naruto and One Piece
But we know the truth…
Istg he plays an absurd amount of eroges for the plot
He’s depraved on twitter
Two accounts, one for public image and the other for the unspeakable
Do NOT let him find any dating advice on there cause he will take it and act like a fool
He loves breakcore music and anime intros and thats about it
Besides his jpop idols
I dont think he like kpop, for some reason he just has a grudge against some fans
A little self insert but he 100% has autism (as we all know…) but he also has arfid
For those who dont know… arfid is “avoidant restrictive food intake disorder” which is like you are a very picky eater
He aint struggling with it, he succeeding (LYING)
Malleus Draconia
Get this man a cat or some shit like that
Can someone please make him watch all of aphmau Minecraft diaries and then twilight back to back
This strange individual has that man from the notebook shaking in fear
Bros a hopeful romantic
Randomly says inspiration quotes that you cant find anywhere online
It just came from his heart
He only listens to classical songs he knows how to play
Though i’d doubt if you showed him something he’d dislike it
Bros the yearner
I showed up to the yearning contest and went into anaphylactic shock at the sight of him there
He has honestly researched every single religion for fun
Highlight god damn bible verses for no reason
He needs to make an iceberg of every single religion and why they are good/bad
I just know he has an insane knowledge of lore in any book he’s ever read
Please make him watch smiling friends
You’d have to pause every 5 seconds so he can process it
You could make him do anything tbh, just be like “you should come watch *whatever it is* with me” and bro is outside your door
For shame with the amazing attention towards practically anyone who shows anything besides fear or hatred comes the fact he is unaware of most modern things
He has a tamagotchi and thats it man, get him a 3ds at least
He cant use a phone, cant use a computer, and barely understands the concept of social media
But at least he has the spirit to learn
Lilia Vanrouge
Do i even put him as a senior?
Bro is pushing some mystical number that no one knows
He’s like one of those grandmas that never mention their age and whenever its brought up all they say is “never ask a woman her age”
… perchance a bit controversial but i think he’s bad at cooking on purpose
Ain’t no way someone fucks up cooking THAT bad
I think he really likes horror games
And i dont mean those shitty mascot horrors like poppys playtime
I mean fatal frame, faith, and visage type shit
He listens to breakcore too
I dont make the rules
Hes a gamer grandpa so he either has to have pretty good taste in games/music or the absolute worst
HE’D LOVE GULU GULU AND VKEI
Hes practically already mana sama
Hes got all the moi meme motie dresses
Get grandpa off taobao NOW
I want my nyanya madoka dress, and i will not be stopped by some twinkish old man.
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saintjosie · 2 months ago
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Nobody within my community believes that my mom is physically & verbally abusive to me & my younger siblings because she maintains a good public image by being nice & providing for everybody else. I'm sorry that I'm sending this through an ask but I've tried so much for 17 years & I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, I'm sorry...
i hear you, i see you, i believe you, and my heart hurts for you.
im going to be honest, as much as i wish i could personally help you, i can’t because you’re a minor and also because honestly, i don’t know what to do.
but as someone who went through childhood abuse myself and has since reclaimed my power, i promise you, it is possible and i promise you that you are doing so much better than you think.
and i know how it feels to feel powerless. to take on the hurt of people who should be taking on yours and feeling like it’s your fault.
and one of the things i’ve realized through years and years of healing is that abusers abuse because they feel powerless. and they feel this way because of the people who raised them, because of the people around them, because of the how the world sees them, but also most importantly, how they see themselves. the anger and abuse they take out on us are because they hate themselves and they try to reclaim their power from others by making them feel powerless.
but if you feel powerless right now there’s something i’ve realized in the process of reclaiming my own power that might help you.
1) the first step is to recognize that what is happening to you isn’t right. this might be something you’ve known for a long time and something that might seem incredibly obvious to you but it is far more difficult than it seems. it is SO easy to get trapped into thinking that this pain is your fault and this is why so many people get trapped in the cycle of abuse and abuse others. but you know that the way you are being treated is not right. that is already powerful.
2) the second step is reaching out for help. you dropped me an ask and you spoke your truth. you trusted someone on the internet you don’t know but took a chance anyways and that takes SO much strength. because strength is not about always being strong because that simply isn’t possible. strength is knowing your weaknesses and asking for help when you need it. because everyone needs help sometimes and so few people reach out to ask when they do. but you made the choice to reach out.
3) i can’t help you but there are absolutely people who can. people who have been through what you have gone through and have a fire within them that drives them to make sure that no one else has to feel this way.
and so even though i’m writing specifically to you anon, i also know that the people who see this and understand will say something.
so now dear reader, if you have words of encouragement or resources to share, please do.
i see you, i love you, and i believe in you.
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plutonianeris · 2 years ago
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a message from 13 year old you ‧₊˚✩彡 [letter] 💓🍬
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this is a general reading. take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️ *・῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ if you feel guided to: tip jar💘 ✧.*
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Pile one ‧₊˚✩彡
"what did I tell you? I always knew it would work out in the end. I was always knew the pain wasn't going to last forever. It hurt to be treated that way by the people closest to me, especially the women in my life. there was always so much confusion growing up. people would say pretty things but there body language would show something else. I felt caged in my connections. But I always had some faith. I always had a feeling that the universe was watching out for me... for us. that it was sending us signs. that eventually I would be able to enjoy life to the fullest without feeling guilty for it. without feeling like I had to compare myself to the versions of me that they wanted me to be. I hope you know now that those versions don't exist. that we weren't born to be dolls for other people to dress up and control and shove words and opinions in their mouth and to gargle and spit back up. I doubted my intellgience so much.. underestimated my creativity. but looking at you now.. looking at us... I feel so proud. dont forget about me please! I always believed in you. even on those days where you couldnt stand to look in the mirror. I was on your side this whole time, its just that sometimes you werent listening. But now looking at you, you are everything I ever wanted to be. Im so glad I didnt give up. You deserve it all. the world. your dreams. im rooting for you. heres to more blessings and abundance."
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Pile two ‧₊˚✩彡
"remember the way everyone would make fun of us for the weird things we did? Our odd expressions and the questions we asked and how we laughed out loud and our desire to see the world. how it always labeled as silly. I know it had made us dull our self expression for a little while. How we forced ourselves to shrink down, to fake laugh to the mean comments, or "oh this? not a big deal" or "its not that good.." so many of those... just to blend in better with our friends and family at the time. to make them like us. to see if that would make them stop criticizing so damn much. I hope we no longer are letting comments like that slide. I hope we dress like the way we always wanted to in our head but were to afraid to wear out. I hope we didn't let the world extinguish our playful nature. life felt like heartbreak after another. what do you know about love? youre just a kid. they deformed the way we saw it for a long time. but not anymore. It makes me emotional.. the way you never let go my hand. and how you always carried me along with you in your heart. Of course, now you call me your inner child. Or I guess inner teen. Ha, inner tween. Thank you for always being my friend. I see now that you are always what I was meant to be. Out of all the stars in the sky, we shine the brightest, you and me."
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Pile three ‧₊˚✩彡
"you are so beautiful... wow we really are so different now. But I still see hints of me in you. in your smirk and your mischievous laugh and in your questioning glances and sharp stare when someone gets a little bit too close to our personal space. I admire the way your presence can make someone nervously glance away. I use to feel so powerless.. so many things I did to try to gain some control, even if it meant hurting myself and pushing away the people I love. I love how vulnerable you are. I really did see it as a weakness but looking at you now, it makes me realize how brave you are. of putting yourself out there despite the uncertainty. of taking that chance even if could end up badly. even if you could end up with a broken heart it seems like you no longer find sastification in staying in the darkness. I understand, its.. well, lonely... being alone. Do you think you could take me with you? That part of you... that is still afraid. do you think you could tell me? tell me that I am not broken or incomplete that there is nothing wrong with me. that I am not the worst thing that has ever happened to me or will happen to me. Reassure me? Tell me that some things we have to do even when we are afraid. that its terrifying and nerve wracking and makes our palms sweat. but then once we do it, it's glorious, it's liberating, it's everything we have ever dreamed of and more. I see it now. Take me with you. Do you see me? I see you. The way you look at the world and want to devour it. I see you now, with a crown atop your head. how you wear it so gracefully..."
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Pile four ‧₊˚✩彡
"So many times.... I was so close to giving up. to listening to that little voice in my head that kept telling me over and over again that there was no point. that the feeling and the ache in my chest would last forever. that it was always going to be me versus the world. me versus me. that everything around me would always be dull and gray and that I would always be blue. I doubted my self-worth so much. It was practically non-existent. I still do in some ways now when I pop up and invalidate the way you feel, shrugging my shoulders wondering if maybe we are actually deserving of this happiness... of this success. it feels foreign. like its not really mine.. well, ours. We're not in a really good situation right now and my parents are trying to hide things from me that im just too big now to pretend not to notice. they don't make me feel that protected anymore. and that hurts me a lot. whose gonna take care of me now? Im so glad youre here now. Im so glad we got to grow up and that we survived. and im so glad that now that we survive we can actually live. Thank you for reminding that we can let go now. that theres no room for a pity party anymore. thank you for letting me know that your'e not going to leave me behind. thank you for keeping my memory alive. thank you for looking back at me with kind and loving eyes. but most of all, thank you for fighting for me. I know I can easily lie and say "everything is fine" but thank you for showing me that it eventually it is. thank you proving to me that eventually I will say its fine. its okay. its great even. and that I, that we, actually mean it."
© plutonianeris
1K notes · View notes
feralforriddle · 10 months ago
Text
nobody makes me feel things.
summary: tom riddle x y/n, first person. tom starts to get really confused as to why he was feeling so many things for the sweet ravenclaw girl. but he seems to soften up pretty quick, leaving you just as confused.
a/n: my first ever fic! please give feedback if you enjoyed in the comments. this is probably super messy but i just kept typing lol. i hope u enjoy :3.
ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆.ೃ࿔*:・+*:ꔫ:*﹤˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
'what do you want.' he says, staring at me with his dark, cold glare. i gulp, immediately regretting my decision. picking at the skin around my nails, i pluck up the courage to ask him.
'um, i was just wondering if you were still tutoring people?' i ask, looking up at him anxiously. he stares at me for a second, seemingly very confused. or is he happy? angry? honestly, it's really hard to read him. impossible even.
'yes. i do, why?' he steps closer to me, looking down and crossing his arms. it's almost like he is trying to kill me. doesn't he realize how handsome he is?
'i am struggling at the moment in potions, a-and i know you're really smart in that subject. i was wondering if you'd help me?' i ask, trying to sound confident but failing miserably. why is it so hard to talk to him? obviously everybody knows what tom is like. he has almost zero friends, and he doesn't seem to care about making any.
but i have always been intrigued by him. always watching and admiring from afar. always found him exceptionally handsome. never found any courage to talk to him, though. so now is my chance to get his attention.
do i really need help in potions? not really. it's definitely not my most successful class, but i could probably still pass without his help. but the idea of him teaching me, maybe he could show me how to make potions too, standing behind me and guiding my hands-
okay, no. i am getting truly distracted now.
i have just always been so infatuated with him. my friends call me crazy for trying this, and that they have never seen him interested in any girl before him. i have seen him glance at me before, staring a little longer than just an accidental glance. so part of me is really hopeful he sees me the same way. and i don't have enough confidence to just ask him out, which is why i thought a study session would be good.
'i can help you. what is it you need help with the most?' he says, surprisingly softer. a slight glint in his eye. it did not last long though, he returned to his usual glare.
'mainly brewing the potions, getting things perfect. sure, i get it right but, you always seem to make them perfectly' i say, complimenting him lightly to see his reaction.
i did not get much of one.
'yes, mine are perfect. i can help you. i will ask professor slughorn if we can use the potions room after class hours, he won't mind i'm sure.' he says, nodding down at me once.
i smile brightly up at him, 'thankyou tom! i'll meet you there today around 6pm then?' i ask, beyond excited to get to spend more time with him.
he nods, squinting his eyes lightly at me before turning around and leaving. he certainly is a unique boy. i turn to return to the great hall and finish my lunch.
✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻
i was itching for 6pm to come faster, wiggling in my seat in my final class of the day. i need to make sure i look pretty, too. i am incredibly nervous to see him, and be alone with him too. my cheeks go red at the thought. i am probably thinking of this way differently to tom, he probably isn't even excited. but i don't care, i just wanted him to see me, to notice me.
as soon as class ended, i sprinted back to my dorm to get changed and freshen up. putting on a clean white shirt, my slightly tighter one for no particular reason at all. and my ravenclaw skirt, pilling up a little further up my thighs than normal. i do light makeup, and ruffle my hair and im ready. this is very unlike me. i never dress like this, and to be honest i feel embarrassed but i want to catch his attention somehow.
it's 5:50pm, so i grab my study books and quill, and head quickly to the classroom. he arrives just seconds after me.
'hi tom' i smile.
he stares at me for a second, glancing down at my outfit. 'what are you wearing?' he says, glaring at me for a second.
'just my uniform..' i frown, looking down at myself.
tom's head erratically turns around, checking nobody is around. 'you walked down here like this?'
'..yes?'
'get inside, quickly.' he opens the door for me, and i rush inside, very very confused as to what is happening.
he looks at me again as i sit at the desk where he clearly prepared things. 'why did i have to rush in here?'
'because i don't want anybody else to see you like this.' he grunt, putting his books down before sitting beside me.
'why's that?' i say, a little hope bubbling inside of me that maybe it's because he only wants to see me like this.
'you ask too many questions. lets just focus on this' he says, avoiding eye contact with me.
✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞
the whole study session i was incredibly nervous. i couldn't write properly because my hands were shaking so much. my cheeks constantly red through the whole thing. i sigh as he packs things away, 'thankyou for helping me, tom'.
'it's okay' he says nothing else before heading to the door.
i don't know why, but he seems even less interested after that. he is barely talking to me, his body language is just telling me he is uncomfortable. maybe he figured out my little plan and it put off by it? maybe he really just doesn't like me back. maybe i'm just not confident enough for him?
perhaps i should stop trying so hard.
i grab my own things and walk to the door with him. 'i-i'm sorry if i made you uncomfortable tom, i'm sure you figured out what i was doing' i say with as much courage as possible. i feel ridiculously embarrassed. he looks at me and says nothing.
his face indicates nothing. nothing whatsoever. i take a deep breath. looking at him with glossy eyes, rushing out of the potions classroom and back to my dorm.
i jump on my bed, pushing my face in the pillow and letting a few tears go. i thought it would work, i really did think he might like me back. i was stupid to think so. he doesn't really feel anything for anyone. and i made such a fool of myself, trying to flirt or complimenting me, wearing this revealing uniform. oh god i want the ground to swallow me hole.
i just curl up into a ball and fall asleep soon after.
tom on the other hand, is left feeling very very confused. he doesn't know why he feels this way, why did he get a pang in his chest when he saw my glossy eyes? why couldn't he seem to breathe properly around me? he has never felt this way for anybody and he doesn't know what to do.
✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞
the next day i head to breakfast, nervous about seeing tom there. he always sits at the end of the table alone, so it's inevitable he will see me as i walk into the great hall. i try and get there as early as possible, hoping i arrive before he does.
but no, he is sat there, and his head shoots up the second he sees me walk into the hall. my cheeks flush insanely red, my hands beginning to sweat a little as i feel his burning gaze on me.
i rush to the table, sitting by myself at the end too, not really wanting to tell my friends what happened.
tom sees me sitting alone and furrows his eyebrows. before even thinking, he stands up and walks over to sit directly opposite me on the ravenclaw table. i look up at him and panic.
'why are you sitting alone?' he says, staring at me.
'um, i just didn't feel like talking to my friends this morning' i gulp, frantically trying to avoid his gaze. he glances down to see them all staring with their jaws dropped.
'pathetic.' he mutters.
'you think im pathetic?' i say, eyes softening at him.
'no, quite the opposite' he mumbles, nodding his head down the table. 'that is pathetic'. my cheeks flush a little as i giggle at him. looking back up at him, i give him a soft smile.
'why did you come over here, tom?'
'because i don't want to see you sitting by yourself.' he says, taking a bite of his breakfast. 'come on, eat something. we have class soon'.
i do as he says, of course, but i am also extremely confused as to what is happening. from how he was acting yesterday, to this? i am very confused. but secretly i am really enjoying this.
'so, how about another study tonight?' he says bluntly. my eyes nearly shoot out of their sockets and my heart nearly came out of my chest.
'o-oh, um sure' i smile, covering my nerves.
'and you can wear that little outfit again. just don't let anybody see you on the way'. i nod quickly at him. and we quietly had breakfast together. he walked me to my class, which left my hiding my smile under my hand in class.
✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞
i take a deep breath as i wait for tom to arrive outside of the class. i tap my feet on the floor in anticipation. my god, am i nervous.
'get inside, quick' he says, opening the door for me again.
i smile a little, rushing inside and sitting back in my normal seat. but there is nothing here set up to study like last time. he raised an eyebrow at me and slowly walks over as i look at him confused.
'what are we doing today tom if there isn't anything here?' i ask, turning to him as he sits beside me.
'oh i think we both know studying isn't the reason we are doing this' he says, turning to me slightly.
i almost choke on the air.
'i don't know what you've done to me, but i can't stop thinking about you' he sighs. 'it's awful, really. i haven't ever felt this way before, i was up most of the night figuring my feelings out. now i worry i am stuck, wanting you with me at all times when i can't'.
'yes, you can'. i jump to answer. 'just give me the word and i'm yours'.
'mine?' he hums, as i stand up and stand in between his legs, looking up at him.
'yours'.
he puts his hand on the side of my face. 'i hope you know what you've gotten yourself into. I'm not easy, darling'. he sighs.
'i'll get used to it' i smile.
'if i see any other man in the same proximity as you, i can't promise i won't hex them'.
'id like that' i hum.
'come here' he murmurs, pulling me closer into him, connecting his lips onto mine. and i melt. i've been wanting this for so long. his tongue swipes against my bottom lip, deepening the kiss as my hands wrap around his neck, pulling him to stand with me and wrap his arms around my waist.
'lets go back to my dorm. i have my own dorm because i hate everyone.' he mumbles against my lips. i giggle at him, pulling back and nodding. 'lets go' i agree.
✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞
the next morning, i walk into the great hall for breakfast. tom's eyes find mine as he gives me a very small, but cheeky grin.
he stands up and walks over to my table before i can sit down.
he grabs my chin, pressing a kiss against my lips softly right in front of all my friends. as if to prove a point.
'see you in class, baby'.
i smile at him as he walks back to the slytherin table. i look down at my friends,
'what on earth?!' they shout.
✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥
a/n; and we're done! please give me feedback if you liked this, or not. my first ever fic ahh! <3 love u angels.
225 notes · View notes
feitanzi · 5 months ago
Text
Top , Bottom , or Switch? Rough, Soft , or Switchy?
w the jjk men
Warnings: Mature content (mdni), dirty talk, name calling (baby , whore , slut , cocksleeve) degradation, praise , squirting, mentions of edging , overstimulation lmk if i missed something (which i most likely did) not proof read so if u see a mistake feel free to point it out in a respectful way.
smut under the cut U HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
Ryōmen Sukuna: Rough dom for sure. He has never been the type to come off as weak or submissive so trust and believe that does not change even in bed. Sukuna fucks you into the bed. single. time. No matter how many times you’ve cum he’s not stopping until he is content with your performance.
“Come on girl, one more” Sukuna coos down at you as he relentlessly pounds you into oblivion. “Y-you said that and hour agooo..” you whine as tears prick your eyes. a loud SLAP echos through Sukuna’s chambers. “Shut it. You’re a concubine and you should act as such whore. do you understand me?” He says coldly as he pulls you up by your hair. you whimper and nod lazily. “Good , now take my dick like the tight little cocksleeve you are”.
Satoru Gojo: He’s a switch in both departments. he can be the dommiest dom or the subbiest sub. personally i have a thing for subby satoru…🤭Honestly with him its either:
“Right there baby? ohhhhh fuckkkkk. You cumming? Yea me too, cum with me baby” OR “F-fuck right there baby please! oh shit i’m gonna cumm please don’t stop this time i’ve be so good for you p-please!
BUT WHEN HE GETS THE CHANCE TO GET HIS GET BACK? you’re finished “Well well well how the tables have turned” Satoru chuckled as he pushes his 3 fingers knuckles deep in to doing the “come hither” movement. you can’t even look at him as you whimper and beg for mercy. your cumming in minutes in ways you didn’t even know were possible. “shit baby i didn’t know you could squirt” Gojo grins widely. “do it again” he commands as he resumes his relentless assault despite your sensitivity. let’s just say ur in for a long ride…
Toji Fushiguro: Def a rough dom. Much like Sukuna he treats you like a ragdoll in bed. Legs not working? he’ll manhandle em for ya. We all know Toji is a really big guy so if we makin him proportional he definitely has the cock to match and boy is he cocky about it. Through the entire time yall are having sex he is teasing you non stop for your whimpers and little whines.
“f-fuck t…oji slow down it’s too much!” you babble. “Awww poor baby. Daddy’s cock to much for you to handle?” he grins down at you as he angles himself to penetrate you deeper. “fuckkkkk this sloppy little cunt is taking me so well. I wish you could see the look on your face” Toji grumbles as he watched his fat cock slide in and out of you. You subconsciously start sliding up on the bed because of how deep he was really hitting you. “nuh uh baby bring that ass back im not done with you”
Kento Nanami: (i don’t really like nanami all that much but i’ll write for him bc i love you. yes you the one reading this) He strikes me as like a soft dom or a service dom. No matter how pent up he is i feel like he always puts your bedroom needs before his
“Are you sure this is alright baby?” Nanami gently asks while looking into your eyes for any type of discomfort or dishonesty. “M fine kento just keep going” you whine. with that he starts to snap his hips in and out of you at a steady pace as he kisses up and down your neck and up to your lips whispering sweet nothings like “you’re doing so well baby.” and “you feel so good wrapped around me like this”
Choso Kamo: SUBBIEST SUB MALE OUT THERE. He cries , whines, whimpers th full package combo.
“f-fuck!!!!” Choso practically wails and you continue to fist his cock. “Baby pleaseeee, you said i could c-cum and hour ago..~” he whines with a pout on his lips. You kiss his neck gently causing him to let out another hushed whine. “Just keep being a good boy fme hm? you’ll get what you want soon sweet boy” you coo at him. You weren’t lying you’d let him cum soon (if you call 5 more denied orgasms soon)
hey yallllll , tryna get back into the swing of things w writing so lmk what u think my inbox is always open to yall 🥹
As always reblogs are appreciated!! Refrain from copying and or translating any works of mine without explicit permission
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lesbiankimdahyun · 5 months ago
Note
Desperately need the next part for summer session I WANT TO KNOW IF IM NOT A CHICKEN FOR MISS SANA PLSANDJSJS
here it is!!
SUMMER SESSION III
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2.9K words 
CW: scissoring, face sitting, other gay activity using toys ;)
AN: this is most likely the last installment!
[Sana x F!Reader] 
Requested: Yes
“You’re gonna run out of clothes, bestie,” Chaeyoung said, “And time.” 
“Ugh,” you replied, readjusting your phone to give the tiny version of your friend on FaceTime a better view. “I know I know, just tell me what you think.” You stepped back into the frame of your full length mirror so Chaeyoung could get a glimpse of your outfit. She leaned in toward the screen, trying to get a better look. 
Clothes that didn’t feel right littered your floor, bed, and hung haphazardly on hangers in your wide open closet. This was your fourth outfit change and you were about to start sweating. “Well?” 
Chaeyoung took in your outfit– a simple white tank with a cropped, textured, short sleeve lilac button up over it, and dark denim shorts. 
“You look…” she paused. “Well, gay. Okay great! Now hurry up and add a watch or some jewelry so you can go!” 
You rolled your eyes a little, picking up your phone and reaching for the jewelry stand on your dresser. “Just gay? Oh whatever, as long as I don’t look stupid.”
The blonde-haired girl beamed at you from her New York City studio apartment. “She’ll like it,” she said, then smirked. “But you didn’t need any help from me for this, really. Not when those clothes are gonna end up coming off anyway!” 
“Hey!” 
Her burst of laughter cut off your chances of getting a smart reply in. Chae waved at you. “My job here’s done. I gotta go meet a few friends now but good luuuuuck!” Her sing-songy voice cut off as the call ended. 
You thought about sending her a snarky reply via text, but when you put on your watch and saw how close to seven it was, you decided to forgo it. Instead, you opened the chat you had going with Sana as you locked the door behind you, told her you’d be there soon, then headed for the train station. 
Sana’s apartment was modern and clean, but still very personalized to her style. As she showed you around her kitchen and living space, a few things caught your eye. 
“Is that like… vintage Betty Boop?” you asked. 
Sana smiled at you. “Yeah,” she said, glancing up at the framed image hanging on her wall. “One of two hundred original, signed, limited edition lithographs.” She blushed a little. “I uh, I really like Betty Boop. She’s just so cute! Yet sexy...”
Her bookshelf caught your eye, too. But not for the books. In fact, only the bottom shelf had books. The rest held other personal belongings of hers. The top shelves were dedicated to perfume bottles– some new, some that must have been a few decades old. The middle shelves were full of small photos and knickknacks. 
You pointed at a photo of Sana with a couple other girls on either side of her. “Who are they?” you asked, suddenly noticing just how many photos she had with the two other dark haired girls. One of them had a cute, shy gummy smile and distinct beauty marks. The other girl had a long, shoulder length wolf cut with bangs that lay perfectly across her forehead. She was intimidatingly pretty, just like the other girl. 
“My best friends from home,” Sana replied, picking up the framed photo. “That’s Mina,” she said, pointing to the girl with the beauty marks. She pointed to the girl with the wolf cut. “And that’s Momo!” 
“Wow,” you said. “How long have you known each other?” 
Sana paused to think. “It’s been…gosh, maybe ten years? It feels like I’ve known them forever, though. I’m trying to convince them to visit next summer.” 
You smiled as she set the framed photo back in its place on her shelf. “I hope they do,” you said. “They seem cool.” 
When you were done admiring Sana’s space, the two of you ordered food. As you waited for it to arrive, you hung out on Sana’s couch while she introduced you to her favorite kr&b duo, UJB. While you acquainted yourself with the duo’s two idols, Jihyo and Jeongyeon, Sana made mixed drinks for the both of you. 
“Their music is so good,” you said when she sat back down and handed you a glass. “Okay be real– do you have a favorite out of the two?”
Sana laughed, a sound you liked the more you heard it. “I love them both a lot,” she said, pausing to take a sip of her drink. “Obviously. But if I had to choose…” she nodded toward the shorter, raven-haired woman on the screen. “It’d be Jihyo.” 
When your food finally arrived, you arranged it carefully on Sana’s coffee table while she refreshed drinks for the both of you and grabbed plates and cutlery. The mouthwatering scent of bulgogi, spicy pork, steamed mixed veggies, rice and summer salad filled the room. Sana came back with not only drinks, but two tiny shot glasses and a fresh bottle of soju. 
“What’s all this?” you asked, eyeing the shot glasses as you reached for a napkin and plate. 
“I hope you don’t mind,” Sana said, reaching for the remote. “But I’ve always wanted to try…” she pulled up Jennifer’s Body, ready to stream. “...the drinking game to this.” 
“Oh, sure,” you said, filling your plate while Sana filled hers. “I love this movie.” 
At first, you thought you wouldn’t be drinking that much considering there were only eight rules to follow for the drinking game, but Sana insisted on alternating between the pure soju and your mixed drinks. Soon you were feeling much less self conscious and a little braver with some alcohol in your system. Before long, both of your plates sat unattended with only a few bites left on each as you got more into the movie’s plot and the drinking game. 
Your nerves about why Sana had invited you over in the first place were almost gone, until the scene in Needy’s bedroom was suddenly on screen and you felt a bit of heat rise to your face. You couldn’t bear to look at Sana as you watched Jennifer kneel on Needy’s bed, tucking her hair behind her ears and adjusting her glasses on top of her head. Their lips met shortly after, and you glanced away. Sana, on the other hand, sat engrossed, leaning in slightly as Needy climbed on top of Jennifer on screen and leaned down to kiss her. 
“When’s the last time you kissed someone like that?” Sana asked suddenly, making you jump a little. 
“Wh-what?” you forced yourself to only look at the screen, watching for a moment. “Oh, uh… it’s been a while,” you said. Without really thinking, you then said, “You?” 
Sana chuckled. “Hmm. A while for me, too,” she replied. You nodded a little, suddenly very aware of how much distance had closed between you and Sana since the movie started. You had been sitting more toward the corner, facing her with one arm lazily draped over the top of the couch, and now Sana was nearly resting against your arm. You kept your eyes on the screen, swallowing hard. 
Sana reached for the remote, turning down the volume of the movie. “Would you kiss me like that?” 
You blushed. You nodded before your voice finally caught up with you. “Y-yes,” you said meekly, finally daring to look in Sana’s direction. She was already looking at you. 
“Okay,” she said, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. You turned to face her, and as you did, you could practically feel the energy of the room shift. The attraction between the two of you was almost palpable now, and it gave you a much-needed bit of courage. 
You sat up a bit, resting your hand on her knee as you moved. You leaned in a little and so did she. You were about to tilt your head when she spoke suddenly, softly. 
“I…” Sana hesitated. “I just want you to know I really do think you’re attractive, I’m not just doing this because we’ve been drinking and—” 
She trailed off, eyes fixated on your mouth. Noticing this, you moved forward then, finding your confidence finally as your lips met with hers. Sana let out a muffled noise of surprise, then quickly kissed you again, giving you permission to continue. 
Her lips were soft and her touches even softer. She opened her mouth a bit, inviting you in to taste her. Her hands gently pulled on your wrists, and it was all you needed to be able to lead from there. As your fingertips focused on lightly trailing over her forearms and waist, you continued to kiss her, a little deeper, then deeper still until she finally broke away to come up for air. 
Sana’s cheeks were a deep, flushed pink and her eyes slightly hooded as she looked at you. 
“Do you— um…” Sana struggled to find her words and bit her lip to keep a goofy smile off her face. You waited patiently, amused by this new side of hers. It was like finally, your roles had traded. You felt much more bold, while Sana seemed to only get shyer. “My room’s this way,” she said finally, getting up and taking your hand. 
You barely had time to look around Sana’s room before she was pulling you down onto her bed with her. Your lips met hers again and you laid back on her bed, pulling her on top of you. Her hands pulled your short sleeve button up away from your sides as she kissed you, then moved toward your white tank tucked into your shorts. Meanwhile, you worked on Sana’s shirt, a dark off-the-shoulder long sleeve. Before you knew it, both of your clothes had been abandoned on her bedroom floor. You could see out of the corner of your eye through Sana’s window that the sun was setting, but one of her lamps turned on automatically a few moments later, filling your corner of the bedroom with an incredibly soft, yellow glow while everything else fell away to shadows. 
Sana was kissing her way down your neck fervently, one hand working its way between your legs. At first you thought she was going to touch you, but then she started pulling you closer. You were confused for a moment until you figured out what she was trying to do. You took your hands away for a moment to adjust your legs and the distribution of your weight, and then Sana’s; one of her legs over yours, and one of your legs over hers. 
“Better?” you asked softly, pulling Sana closer to you. In all of your experience, scissoring had never been able to make you get even remotely close to coming, but if it was what she wanted and needed to get off, you were more than willing to do it. 
Sana nodded eagerly, looking down to watch as your body met with hers. You closed your eyes, stifling a moan when you felt her wetness on yours. You tried not to think about all of the other things you’d rather be doing to her, focusing instead on trying to help her grind into you. It was nearly impossible to get a good rhythm going, but your own lust skyrocketed and you found yourself grinding back against her, trying to get your aching core any sort of satisfaction and relief. 
The more the two of you worked at it, the more labored both of your breathing became. 
“Is…this comfortable for you?” you asked after a few minutes, panting lightly. 
“Kinda,” Sana replied. Her eyes roamed everywhere over your body. She grabbed at your thighs, squeezing lightly, then set her gaze back on your mouth. She paused for a moment. “Actually…” she said, “I think I know what I’d like even better.”
She reached for you to kiss you, gently untangling her body from yours as her tongue explored your mouth. You found yourself lying down on her bed with Sana climbing on top of you. Her long, brown hair tickled your face as she kissed you, and then she stopped. 
“I… want to feel you,” she said, her brown eyes looking down at you for approval. “Put that mouth to work for me?” You nodded eagerly, sliding down more so Sana had room to hover above your face. You held onto her thighs as she lowered herself down, her breath hitching when she felt your tongue on her. 
You started slowly, taking your time to lick the length of Sana’s wet cunt. She held onto the headboard of her bed, eyes closed. Your tongue teased her entrance, making her gasp, and then moved toward her clit. She tried to be quiet at first, but you gave the back of her thighs a playful squeeze. “I like being able to hear you,” you murmured. “Don’t be shy.” 
Sana half laughed, half moaned as you lapped at her clit. “Y-you’re one to ta– oh, there, right there,” she said. She sank lower onto your face, her thighs warm and snug against the sides of your face. “F-fuck,” she breathed, starting to roll her hips. Your own noises of delight were muffled under her pussy, but Sana appreciated them just the same. 
Your chin, nose and lips became soaked in her juices as you continued to eat her out. You could tell it felt much better for Sana than scissoring had because her breathing slowly became more shallow and her once quiet moans were getting louder. 
“Oh, god…” Sana’s body involuntarily shuddered a little. “That feels so…” she trailed off, grinding against your mouth a little faster. “Yes…” 
But then, just as you were working yourself back into a rhythm that seemed to really please her, she stopped again. She lifted herself off of you, giving you both a few moments to catch your breath. 
“Are you okay?” you asked, slightly worried. “Did I hurt you?” 
Sana smiled, still panting lightly. “No, no, not at all,” she said. “I was actually…” she tucked some of her hair behind her ears. “I could’ve come like that. Well, I mean, I wanted to, but I… I think I’m too shy to come in your mouth,” she finally admitted. “But,” she added quickly, “I do want to come.” 
You nodded, sitting up a bit and wiping part of your face with the back of your hand. “How would you like to?” 
“Hmm.” Sana climbed toward the edge of her bed for a moment, letting the top half of her body disappear momentarily as she leaned over the side to grab a small box under her bed. You quickly looked away from checking out her hips and ass when she sat back up. When she turned to face you, she held a light purple, seven inch toy in her hand. She blushed, but you grinned. 
“I can work with this,” you said. “Lie back,” you instructed, taking the toy from her. You kissed your way down her body, lightly twisting one of her nipples as you moved. You settled in between her legs, kissing and licking your way to her wet pussy. 
“Do you want me to touch you too, or do you want to?” you asked softly. In response, Sana snaked one hand down between her legs, rubbing her clit lightly. Your own cunt clenched involuntarily around nothing as you positioned the head of the toy at her entrance. You rubbed it along her folds a bit, soaking it with her own juices before finally slipping the head in. 
Sana threw her head back, opening her legs a little wider. “M-more,” she said. “Please.” 
You prayed your own wetness would drip down your thighs instead of onto her bedding, talking to Sana softly as you worked more of the length of the toy inside her. “You look so pretty like this,” you told her. Sana rubbed her clit as you fucked her, eyes locked on you as the toy slid in and out of her dripping pussy with ease. 
“God, you make that feel good,” she said, her entire body flush from pleasure. 
“And you,” you said, listening to the lewd sounds of her receptive, wet pussy, “make it sound even better.” You leaned down to kiss her, letting Sana lick your lips and tongue. Her hips bucked as you fucked her, her body trying to get more of the toy inside as her fingers rubbed away at her clit desperately. 
“R-right there,” Sana said after a while. Her body had been growing more and more tense the closer she got, and you could tell she was extremely close now. 
“Nngh- f-fuck, there,” she reached down and put her other hand over yours, helping you fuck her deeper and faster. Her breathing was ragged. You wondered how she was getting any air at all when suddenly she let out a cry, hitting her peak. Her body collapsed completely as she came, letting out light, breathy moans. It was one of the prettiest sounds you’d ever heard. You supported her body as she relaxed into post-orgasm bliss, and gently worked the toy out of her. The moan she let out when you finally slid it all the way out nearly made you feral as you set it aside on her nightstand. 
“Thank you,” Sana said breathlessly. “Wow.” She rolled over, eyeing you for a moment curiously. “To be honest, I’m more of a pillow princess,” she said, glancing at your neglected, soaked cunt. “But I’d love to watch you touch yourself.” Then she smiled mischievously. “You uh, don’t happen to own a harness for a strap, do you?”
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popponn · 9 months ago
Note
Hihi, im the same anon that loves ur page!!
the froggys are seriously silly :)
Anyways, can i request some hcs abt bllk boys with a reader who's going thru a depressive episode? im just goin thru stuff rn, if u can't its fine.
So, hows ur day been?
I hope you're well
have a great day! <33
byebye💖
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notes: anonnie;;; i hope you are feeling better when you finally read this;;; this took so long, im sorry. i have been busy and there are lot of things going on, but i am fine thank you for asking :> and hey, a depressive episode could be tough. but you got this! okay? try to take it slow and step by step, drink water, eat food, and move around a bit. a light walk or a stretch is okay. like how the clouds always change, things will change. i hope reading this could give you a little happiness, especially when you need it.
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isagi
if you are looking for someone who will listen and give practical advice without dismissing your feelings or concerns, honestly he is the one. especially as a boyfriend, you can trust him to be the one who will sit beside you on the sofa while wrapping you in the blanket. will ask you what you want to eat and the moment you decide to fight the cold hard life back, don’t worry, your isagi yoichi will be your #1 supporter! especially if you guys have spent more time in the relationship, he really is good at balancing giving comfort while still giving you trust to walk on your own. though he sometimes couldn’t 100% understand your point of view, but the sincerity in his effort to be always there for you is no joke. he promised every part of him he could give to you and he means every word of it.
bachira
who hurt his baby—he will fight it. somehow. he has this odd sixth sense when it comes to you. just with a glance, he will immediately get how down you feel and what you need. a joke and a cheer up along with many kisses? coming right up. a listener who will hug you like a koala? do you want to do that while cuddling in the bed or in public in front of his friends because he won’t hesitate honestly. just say what you want—if he must eat a cake messily like 5 year old to make you laugh then so be it. will get you out for recreation the moment he could and if he couldn’t that means it’s time for his creativity to shine (and boy does it always shine). but if the one that makes you feel down is someone, bachira is not one for violence but he could you know. if you want. (please stop him.)
rin
if you don’t cry, at best he will be an awkward listener—but a good listener nonetheless. if you cry, though, honestly he will panic. this guy is already not good with his own emotions, so you need to be clear about what you want with him. he is not the best with words though, and advice he offers is usually either “let me just fix this for you” or a straight up detached, objective one that is better offered to someone with a cool head and controlled emotion. therefore, more often than not, he opts to just listen and hold your hand. he will try to help, though, and if he can’t—at the very least you will get a really menacing guard dog who won’t let anyone mess with you while you are trying to get up. (also, go tell him to buy something. his credit card is ready and feeling like he is doing something for you is good for the both of you.)
sae
itoshi gene is harsh and he is somehow worse than his brother in this scenario. he is a naturally critical person towards anything. if you are ready to get your fault pointed out and think up a “what can i do to make this better or avoid this from happening again” go to him, but if you are looking for someone who will listen or give validation, as much as you love him, don’t. him and a terrible headspace is not a good combination. however, a direct “can you hug me?” or a “can you do something for me?” is not completely out of the question—he, after all, still cares about you. high chance he won’t ask, especially if you said you don’t want to say anything, but in this situation the softer part of him who has a hard time saying no to you truly comes out. a movie night, even if it involves the goddamned fries, would happen. he is smart enough to know when to spoil you, especially since he knows your habits and tendencies by heart.
kunigami
the sort of person who sees a hint of gloom on your face and immediately cradles it with a tenderness that no one would expect from someone with his build. he is a good, caring person by nature, if you are looking for someone to help you, he is the best choice. he can be clumsy sometimes and the words he gives to cheer you up have a high chance of being uttered with a lot of pauses in the middle—but the way he acts will probably be enough to bring a smile to your face again (and he will also smile along with you when this happen because by god you are his happiness). all those aside, high chance he can’t give advice, but he will give you top-notch cheering up—words, actions, cuddles, everything—along with genuine validation. (especially after wild card, he has seen hell. “feeling terrible” is something he understands a lot.)
kaiser
for this one i won’t sugarcoat it: jesus christ. why. is there no one else?
jokes aside, as i love to bully him a bit here, objectively—this really depends on the sort of type of person you are. if you are looking for advice or validation or a listener—not him. but if you are the sort of person who prefers a distraction or the “tough love” sort of motivation that is more scathing and heartless—borderline degrading—he is the one. out of spite, his words are probably enough to spur you into action, forgetting whatever blue feeling you have as it has turned into a red raging anger. however, a little note, believe it or not, this actually comes from a caring place in his heart. kaiser is someone with many, many harsh edges—and this comes more from “i rather see you angry and living than seeing you down without me being able to do anything” root that he rather die than say out loud.
nagi
the best you could get is a passive listener. worse you can get is a passive listener who still plays games. the worst you can get is that one scene where isagi has a legitimate concern and gets his hair pulled by this guy. another one who is better to have as a company in seeking distraction for the time than anything. but, despite how admittedly terrible he is in cheering you up with words, he truly makes it up by action when it finally hits him how down and different you are. it will take a few hours or a few days, but he will get there. afterward, expect many small sweet gestures ranging from cute gifts, your favorite snacks, et cetera. your chatroom with him will too suddenly get noisy with many cute stickers and “u ok? :x” for at least a few weeks. (also he is shameless enough to ask out loud to his teammates about what should he do with you when he realizes how stuck he is. so hey. there is that: possible extra brains if you need a solution.)
reo
common knowledge that he never shies away from using that money of his when he needs to and this is one of those situations where he genuinely considers taking you away for a trip so you can feel better near a sunny beach or a peaceful lake—you pick. if you don’t want that, however, this guy is still the best when it comes to understanding you and will be there until you give him a smile. what else do you expect from someone with a complete set of love languages? do watch out though, he is also someone who could get angry pretty quickly, especially when it involves something or someone he cares about—and this time it’s you. on a brighter note, though, this means if you are looking for someone to shit talk with, he is the one. he is a smart caring boyfriend, so talking with him during this time will do a lot of good to you. a good advice along with good validation.
bonus round:
barou — has this very awkward and unique way of cheering you up by getting you to clean the house along with him (and somehow he is less strict with you this time) and then cooking for you after; somehow always works like a charm. yukimiya — do you know all those shoujo manga perfect handsome famous sporty smart boyfriends? this is it. coming to you live. chigiri — shit-talking session that will soon move on to a pep talk that will give you every bit of confidence and drive you to need. a best friend and a boyfriend in one package. one of the people who truly knows and understands how despairing an overwhelming situation could be. karasu — will he tease you a bit like a meanie to distract you, ironically? yes. but if you need an advisor to brainstorm the best possible solution he is also the one.
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acesofspadess · 1 year ago
Text
This Is The Voice
a/n: everyone needs some more Niall
summary: you're the mega mentor, and Niall doesn't know that
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“This is the last knockouts ill ever get to coach and im really excited because our mega mentor this season is one of the greatest singers and people of all time.”
“Shes a legend in the industry.”
“She is an EGOT”
“So the mega mentor this season is……… Y/N L/N! Or Horan to Niall”
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BLAKE
“Well this like a full circle moment for me. You were here as Adams advisor in the first season and now you are mega mentor in my last season.” blake looked down at 29 year old you who was reminiscing. “What does that say about our relationship.”
“That whenever you're here I lose.” you laughed at him as he shook his head. “You let yourself lose to an 18 year old Blake.” his eyes widdend at that, “Oh man, i forgot you were only 18. I feel so old. And now your married too.” he shook his not wanting to think about it any more.
—-----
KELLY
“You still havent seen Niall yet?” Kelly and you had a moment to chat before the artist came in. “no and I feel so bad. I've been super slow on my answers to his text. I just want to hold him.”
I've know Y/N since she was around 18, we got to perform together in Vegas almost 12 years ago.
“Im so glad it's Blake’s last season. Hes just had a very good vibe.” Kelly filled you on some behind the scenes.
“Oh thats good, he really can be a pain sometimes.
And I've also been able to work with her and tour with her and learn from her. Shes so young and has taught a lot of artist with singing and being on stage. I love that all these artist are gonna get that same experience today.
—---------
CHANCE
There was a knock on your dressing room door and you opened it to see Chance. “Y/N!” He cheered as he opened his arms up for a hug. You laughed and thanks the heavens you werent wearing heavy makeup as he was wearing white. 
Y/N… shes a legend in the industry. Grammy award winning artist.
“And when was the last time i saw you?” you laughed at his question. “Probably Grammy’s 2020…?” he shook his head, “how could i foget miss album of the year.
Her being a top tier artist for so long and having so many experiences is something that we could all grow from. 
After Chance had run down his artist for you, you waited for them to come in and laughed at whispers you heard. “Well hello there, I love your hair.” you told Nariella whose hair was similar to your ginger colour. “I actually got the idea from you.” you both laughed and whispered an ‘i like you already’. 
I just think its so amazing for her to be here and represent black women and girls. Shes definitely someone i look up to.
—---------
NIALL
It was finally time to see your love. Niall was supposed to be meeting Riley… but you didnt let that happen. You were facing the camera, your back facing the direction Niall would walk through. 
“Riley Tate-”
You turned around at the sound of his voice and he immediately stopped talking. “Hi love.” you  were smiling so hard at his reaction to seeing you before he scooped you up in a hug and twirled youn around.
“Why are you here- wait. Your da mega mentor?” his accent was thicker because of the surprise and you loved it. 
I mean to work with Y/N L/N the queen of pop… im getting goose bumps thinking about it now, its just amazing being in her presence 
Thats your wife Niall
Say it again 
“Well now that your here i was going to ask you if you wanted to come to a golf course with me.” Niall had his head on her shoulder and he could feel the laugh that came from her at his words.
Shes an absolute legend, and she teaches me something everyday, i cant wait for her to teach my team.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Alright love, Gina, shes really shy, reminds me of you when you came to write for the band.”
Niall laughed his beautiful laugh as you hid your face in your hands. “Don't remind me.”
“You might have to tell her to speak up.” you nodded at the information and were ready to see her. “And then she sings, and a different person comes out, a lot like you.” you cooed at his comparison seeing how much Gina meant to Niall.
“Now Kates kinda got the jazzy, Amy Winehouse-y vibe.” you ‘oo’ed’ at the information. “Lets see what they got.”
You watched as they walked around the corner and saw them subtly freak out at seeing you. You got up from your seat with the help of Niall(not that you needed it but he always held his hand out for you).
“Look who ive got!” Niall cheered from behind you as the girls gave you hugs.
I saw the ginger hair and Niall leaning on her and was like- please… ITS Y/N”
“How are you?” you asked hugging them both.
I was not expecting Y/N to be in the room with Niall. I was very starstruck.”
“Im gonna sing ‘somebody that i used to know’,” Gina shared her song and you marvelled at the softness of her voice. “Im very close to my dad, and he was a DJ and that was a song he always loved.”
“Thats beautiful Gina truly.”
Listening too her sing brought chills to your skin. 
You cheered as she finished and let Niall say what you know hes been holding in.  “And that sass that youve got this week.” Niall admired with a little laugh. “Really?” you loved how she went from this marvellous singer to this soft spoken girl. “I wasnt expecting that.” Gina thanked Niall before she looked at you and you shook your head.
“You gave me chills seriously, the only thing is ‘for lack of better wording’ understanding your words.” you watched as she took the advice and applauded her silently knowing if you were in her possician you would have certainly started crying.
“Yeah keep those words separate. Its very easy to go-” and you watched as he broke off his words in example. “You know what I mean. So give your self a bit of space.”
“I like that bub. I like that a lot.” 
You listened to him sing the words slowly and closed you eyes in sereness. “That staccato.” you pitched in. “her first audition to right now,” he looked at you threading his fingers with yours, “completley diffrent person.” you laughed softly squeezing his had. “I was just like you when i started, you can ask him.” he kissed your temple lightly in admiration, “she still is. Cant give her a compliment without her hiding away. Huh, beautiful?” you did as he knew you would and tucked your face into his neck. “See.” 
You turned your head to watch Gina and Kate play fight as theu swapped places. “I really wish you guys liked each other.” you joked sitting up properly. “I know so much hatred in here.” Niall joked back with you adjusting in his seat. “Its just awful.” Niall lost it, throwing his head back in laughter, letting you hear his laugh again. That would always be your favourite song. 
~~~
“Ooh we've got a guitar.” you saw the shaped guitar and immediately fell in love. “Its my baby.” Kate spoke. “Gonna have to get me self one just like that,” you all laughed before Niall looked at the gap between your seats and pulled your seat closer to his. You grabbed his hand and kissed it before looking back up at Kate. “what song are gonna sing love.” you asked as Niall sat back in his seat. “Im singing ‘Call Me’ by Blondie.”
“Oh lets hear it.” 
Kate had the stage presence of a lifetime. “Very good!” you clapped proudly. “Thank you.” you smiled as Niall began to speak. “My favourite parts are when its chilled.” You agreed with him softly as he continued to speak. “Dont stay with the-” Niall sang in a high pitch for example and you nodde your head. “Towards the end it gets a bit crashy for me. I wonder if there's a way of toning it down?” he looked to you for advice. “Tone down the crashing for more like ‘TOMS’ or something like that?” you offered and he took it. “Yeah so we can offer some more jazziness.” he agreed while drumming in the air, “you wanna come back up Gina?” You smiled widely hearing the softness and joy in his voice when he talked to her. “Im thrilled to pieces. I asked a really close friend of mine when were younger, who is now very successful, what is the best piece of advice you can give me. He said ‘have fun’. So i hope your having fun and getting to meet people that youll remain friends with forever.”
You watched Gina and Kate turn to each other and you hugged yourself. “Awwe that makes me so happy.” Niall grabbed your hand and held it in the air. “And one day you might marry them.” you all laughed before Niall spoke up again. “You're the best ladies.” you watched as they walked away and Niall rested his head on shoulder again. “I love you. You're amazing.”
“I love you too Ni.”
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Niall taglist:
@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner
@luxiorchive @maeflowers653
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