#how it kind of relates to my current mindset

[sheeezu]

Emergency shift, tonight.

Another step by step guide, but this time it's mainly focused on how to shift when you'd do anything rather than stay in this wicked reality, perfect for permashifters or anyone frustrated with their current living situation in general.

OK, so I made this method in my WR, since I can't possibly "shift" here (I can switch realities on command by intending, so shifting isn't an activity for me anymore, I don't need to do methods), so last night i went to my WR, with as much skills I had before my first shift, I had an infinite time to figure out the perfect I need to get the hell out of here shifting method.

:)

Step 1, Morning: (divide this into four parts, morning, afternoon, evening and night)

Yes, you woke back in your CR, but don't think about that, get into the mindset that you're happy and you'll shift tonight.

First of all, drop all tasks from the CR, stop, don't do assignments or anything, don't focus on your CR.

Afterwards, what you need to do now is relax yourself, go ahead and pick something to do that you enjoy, so you can divert yourself from overthinking about shifting (personal recommendation, Sims 1 :) listens to subliminals in the background, don't worry about them if you think you have a strong enough mindset.

Don't completely abandon your CR body, don't just become a robot, eat, talk with your family (don't if you're not a fan of them). Avoid shifting forums as much as you can, mainly because there is always something irrational on there which could possibly discourage you.

Quick tldr for this step: relax, calm yourself down, listen to subliminals.

Step 2, Afternoon:

If you're developing a headache or feeling light-headedness due to the excessive subliminal listening then that's good, it means your brain is absorbing the affirmations.

Now, trick your human brain by listening to subliminal boosters, but only those ones which repeat playlists by million, billion, trillion, or zillion or something, it won't matter how effective the subliminal is, as long as you believe the title to be truth, then trust me, it'll work like promised.

After you're finished with your subliminal run, top it off with one of wrath's seal and you're good to go, you're now mentally prepared to shift, and you are in a perfect mindset. (wrath, the subliminal creator, in my opinion their subliminals, especially the boosters are the strongest; search wrath's second seal, in my opinion it's the strongest one in the series).

._.

Now you have eye strain or something, get up, go sit outside for a moment, stare at the trees, birds, skies, and start daydreaming-!

(Don't worry, I didn't tell you to touch grass, you can stay indoors, but, daydream :)

Daydream about your sweet sweet DR, if you're going to your WR, just imagine all the fun things you'll get to do there, or visualize your WR (or script; meaning revise how you made your WR to be like)

OK, back to the DR part, daydreaming can be done in many ways, perhaps you'd like to zone out and fall into deep contemplation about your actions in your DR, kind of like a case study (for me, bringing up old events from my teenage years or something, specific memories arise which didn't make sense; like me ignoring someone I like, and try to figure out why I did it, this all strengthens your bond with your DR)

Or you could simply rewind your memories in your DR, or what you've planned for the upcoming days, what you were doing before shifting, my recommendation would be to kind of add lots of "too much information" like, where did you place the honey after you had finished baking that cake? Didn't you had to put a new bar of soap in the bathroom? Didn't you broke the button of your favorite coat yesterday?

Or If you're good at visualising, you can simply live an entire day in your DR (perhaps not an entire day, just visualise your morning routine)

Another good one, if you can't visualise or don't feel like it, open Pinterest, scroll through your home feed, and try to relate the pins you see to your DR (I was just about to buy that shirt; I swear I saw that exact same house somewhere; that cat looks exactly like my sister's cat)

Feel like your DR self now? If not you're definitely getting excited and prepared by now.

Step 3, Evening:

Now it's time to attach yourself firmly to your DR self.

Consume media which remind you of your DR self, try your luck with Character ai, maybe it'll make sense for once (make your own bots, add a little description of your DR self within the character details, the bot will remember your details, ask ill share a template :) your spotify playlist + pinterest, remind yourself, your DR is very much real, if it's possible, close your eyes periodically for a few minutes, imagine making decisions like your DR self, and facing the consequences right after; or you can have a small conversation with your loved ones, keep it related to your DR.

Eventually, you'll be led to nightfall, it's time to go home.

Step 4, Night:

Listen to the subliminals you've listened to during the day, again, for an hour at least, if you're doubting yourself, or feeling like you won't be able to do it, try to distract yourself by a memory from your DR or something, or simply, already get into you're DR self's mindset, say "affirmations" like these:

"What the heck is going on in my mind? Why am I thinking about shifting, I've already got so much work to do." (That was an example, get creative :)

If you're ready to start shifting, lay down in a comfortable position (or sit up but lean back on comfy pillows if you're in fear of falling asleep) take a few deep breaths, if you like meditation then do so, but it's not at all necessary, just relax.

....

Now shift (just kidding, use my method which I've explained thoroughly in my first post, follow it and no doubt you'll shift, you're invincible.)

...

I am very self assured in my method btw. Also I'll try not to be lazy and answer the questions in my inbox dw.

I'll also upload my script, since for once I've finally stopped crying about permashifting in every post.

Good luck, you'll shift tonight, no doubt.

Remember to look at shrimp colors at least once in your waiting room.

[jewelleria]

I don’t usually talk about politics on here, if ever. But it’s been almost six months since the conflict in the Middle East flared up again, and I’m finally ready to start. Here are some of my thoughts.

I say ‘flared up’ because this has happened before and it’ll happen again. Because, even though what's currently going on is absolutely unprecedented, those of us who live in this part of the world are used to it. Let that sink in: we are used to this. And we shouldn’t have to be. 

But I use that term for another reason: I don't want to accidentally call it the wrong thing lest I come under fire for being a genocidal maniac or a terrorist or a propaganda machine, etc., etc.—so let’s just call it ‘the war’ or ‘the conflict.’ Because that’s what it is. Doesn’t matter which side you’re on, who you love, or who you hate. 

This post will, in all likelihood, sit in my drafts forever. If it does get posted, it certainly won’t be on my main, because I'm scared of being harassed (spoiler: she posted it on her main). I hate admitting that, but honestly? I’m fucking terrified. 

I also feel like in order for anything I say on here (i.e. the hellscape of the internet) to be taken seriously, I have to somehow prove that a) I’m “educated” enough to talk about the conflict, and b) that my opinion lines up with what has been deemed the correct one. So, tedious and unnecessary though it is, I will tell you about my experience, because I have a feeling most of the people reading this post are not nearly as close to what’s happening as I am.

How do I explain where I live without actually explaining where I live? How do I say “I live in the Red Zone of international conflicts” without saying what I actually think? How do I convey the fear that grips me when I try to decide between saying “I live in Palestine” and “I live in Israel”? I don't really know. But I do know that names are important. I also know that, due to the various clickbaity monikers ascribed to the conflict, it would probably just be easier to point to a map. 

I haven't always lived in the Middle East. I've lived in various places along America’s east coast, and traveled all over the world. But in short, I now live somewhere inside the crudely-drawn purple circle. 

If you know anything about these borders you probably blanched a bit in sympathy, or maybe condolence. But in truth, it’s a shockingly normal existence. I don't feel like I've lived through the shifting of international relations or a war or anything. I just kind of feel like I did when COVID hit, that dull sameness as I wondered if this would be the only world-altering event to shape my life, or if there would be more. 

I've been told that, in order for my brain to process all the horrific details of the past six months, there needs to be some element of cognitive dissonance—that falling into a sort of dissociative mindset is the only way to not go insane under the weight of it all. I think in some ways that’s true. I have been terrifyingly close to bus stop shootings when my commute wasn’t over; I have felt my apartment building shake with the reverberations of a missile strike; I have spent hours in underground shelters waiting for air raid sirens to stop. 

But. I have also gone grocery shopping, and skipped class, and stayed up too late watching TV, and fed the cats on the street corner, and cried over a boy, and got myself AirPods just because, and taken out the trash, and done laundry on a delicate cycle, and bought overpriced lattes one too many days a week. I have looked at pretty things and taken out my phone because, despite it all, I still think that life is too short not to freeze the small moments. 

So I'd say, all things considered, I live an incredibly privileged life—compared, of course, to those suffering in Gaza—one filled with sunsets and over-sweetened knafeh and every different color of sand. One that allows me to throw myself into a fandom-induced hyperfixation (or, alternatively, escape method) as I sit on the couch and crack open my laptop to write the next chapter of the fic I'm working on. 

But there are bits of not-normalness that wheedle their way through the cracks. I pretend these moments are avoidable, even if they’re not. 

They look like this: reading the news and seeing another idiotic, careless choice on Netanyahu’s part and groaning into my morning coffee. Watching Palestinian and Jewish children’s needless suffering posted on Instagram reels and feeling helpless. Opening my Tumblr DMs to find a message telling me to exterminate myself for reblogging a post that only seems like it’s about the war if you squint and tilt your head sideways. 

These moments look like all the tiny ways I am reminded that I'm living in a post-October seventh world, where hearing a car backfire makes me jump out of my skin and the sound of a suitcase on pavement makes me look up at the sky and search for the war planes. They look like the heavy grief that is, and also isn’t, mine. 

Here's the thing, though. I know you’re wondering when the ball will drop and my true opinion will be revealed. I know you’re waiting for me to reveal what demographic I'm a part of so that you, dear reader, can neatly slap a label on my head and sort me into some oversimplified category that lets you continue to think you understand this war. 

No one wants to sit and ruminate on the difficult questions, the ones that make you wonder if maybe you’ve been tinkered with by the propaganda machine, if you might need to go back on what you’ve said or change your mind. We all strive for our perception of complicated issues to be a comfortable one.

But I know that no matter what I do, there will always be assumptions. So, while I shudder to reveal this information online, I think that maybe my most significant contribution to this meta-discussion spanning every facet of the internet is this: 

I am a Jew. 

Or, alternatively, I am: Jewish, יהודית, يَهُودِيٌّ, etc. Point is, I come from Jews. And, like any given person, I am a product of generation after generation of love. 

I'm not going to take time to explain my heritage to you, or to prove that before all the expulsions and pogroms, there was an origin point. If you don’t believe that, perhaps it’s less of a factual problem and more of an ‘I don’t give weight to the beliefs of indigenous people’ problem. But, in case you want to spend time uselessly refuting this tiny point in a larger argument, you can inspect the photos below (it’s just a small chunk of my DNA test results). Alternatively, you can remember that interrogating someone in an attempt to make their indigeneity match your arbitrary criteria is generally not seen as good manners. 

Now, let’s go back to thathateful message (read: poorly disguised death threat) I received in my Tumblr DMs. I think it was like two or three weeks ago. I had recently gained a new follower whose blog’s primary focus was the fandom I contribute to, so I followed them back. I saw in my notes that they were going through my posts and liking them—as one does when gaining a new mutual. Yippee! 

Then they sent me this: 

I tried to explain that hate speech is not a way to go about participating in political discourse, but the person had already blocked me immediately after sending that message. Then, assured by the fact that I surely would never see them complaining about me on their blog (because, as I said, they blocked me), they posted a shouting rant accusing me of sympathizing with colonizing settlers and declaring me a “racist Zionist fuck.” Oh, the wonders of incognito tabs.

Where this person drew these conclusions after reading my (reblogged) post about antisemitism…. I'm not actually sure. But I greatly sympathize with them, and hope that they weren’t too personally offended by my desire to not die. 

For a while I contemplated this experience in my righteous anger, and tried to figure out a way to message this person. I wanted to explain that a) seeing a post about being Jewish and choosing to harass the creator about Israel is literally the definition of antisemitism and b) that sending a hateful DM and refusing to be held accountable is just childish and immature. But I gave up soon after—because, honestly, I knew it wasn’t worth my effort or energy. And I knew that I wouldn't be able to change their mind. 

But I still remember staring at that rather unfortunate meme, accompanied by an all-caps message demanding for me to Free Palestine, and thinking: the post didn’t even have any buzzwords. I remember the swoop of dread and guilt and fear. I remember wondering why this kind of antisemitism felt worse, in that moment, than the kind that leaves bodies in its wake. 

I remember thinking, I don’t have the power to free anyone.

I remember thinking, I’m so fucking tired. 

And before you tell me that this conflict isn’t about religion—let me ask you some questions. Why is it that Israel is even called Israel? (Here’s why.) Why do Jews even want it? (Here’s why.) But also, if you actually read the charters of Islamist terrorist organizations like ISIS, Hamas, and Hezbollah (among others), they equate the modern state of Israel with the Jewish people, and they use the two entities interchangeably. So of course this conflict is religious. It’s never been anything but that.

But I do wonder, when faced with those who deny this fact: how do I prove, through an endless slew of what-about-isms and victim blaming, that I too am hurting? How do I show that empathy is dialectical, that I can care deeply for Palestinians and Gazans while also grieving my own people? 

There's this thing that humans do, when we’re frustrated about politics and need to howl our opinions about it into the void until we feel better. We find like-minded souls, usually our friends and neighbors, and fret about the state of the world to each other until we’ve gone around in a satisfactory amount of circles. But these conversations never truly accomplish anything. They’re just a substitute, a stand-in catharsis, for what we really wish we could do: find someone who embodies the spirit of every Jew-hating internet troll, every ignorant justifier of terrorism, and scream ourselves hoarse at them until we change their mind.

But, of course, minds cannot be changed when they are determined to live in a state of irrational dislike. In Judaism, this way of thinking has a name: שנאת חינם (sinat hinam), or baseless hatred. It's a parasite with no definite cure, and it makes people bend over backwards to justify things like the massacre on October seventh, simply because the blame always needs to be placed on the Jews. 

So when a Jew is faced with this unsolvable problem, there is only one response to be had, only one feeling to be felt: anger. And we are angry. Carrying around rage with nowhere to put it is exhausting. It's like a weight at the base of our neck that pushes down on our spine, bending it until we will inevitably snap under the pressure.��I’m still waiting to break, even now.

I wish I could explain to someone who needs to hear it that terrorism against Israelis happens every single day here, and that we are never more than one degree of separation away from the brutal slaughter of a friend, lover, parent, sibling. I wish it would be enough to say that the majority of Israelis (which includes Arab-Israeli citizens who have the exact same rights as Jewish-Israelis) wish for peace every day without ever having seen what it looks like. 

I wish I could show the world that Israel was founded as a socialist state, that it was built on communal values and born from a cluster of kibbutzim (small farming communities based on collective responsibility), and that what it is now isn’t what its people stand for. 

I wish the world could open their eyes to what we Israelis have seen since the beginning: that Hamas is the enemy, Hamas is the one starving Palestinians and denying them aid, Hamas is the one who keeps rejecting ceasefire terms and denying their citizens basic human rights. Hamas is the governing body of Gaza, not Israel. Hamas is responsible for the wellbeing of the Palestinian people. And Hamas are the ones who are more determined to murder Jews—over and over and over again, in the most animalistic ways possible—than to look inwards and see the suffering they’ve inflicted on their own people. I wish it was easier to see that.

But the wishing, the asking how can people be so blind, is never enough. I can never just say, I promise I don't want war. 

When I bear witness to this baseless hatred, I think of the victims of October seventh. I think of the women and girls who were raped and then murdered, forever unable to tell their stories. I think of the hostages, trapped underneath Gaza in dark tunnels, wondering if anyone will come for them. I think of Ori Ansbacher, of Ezra Schwartz, of Eyal, Gilad, and Naftali, of Lucy, Rina, and Maia Dee, of the Paley boys, of Ari Fuld and of Nachshon Wachsman. I think of all the innocent blood spilled because of terror-fueled hatred and the virus of antisemitism. I think of all the thousands of people who were brutally murdered in Israel, Jews and Muslims and Christians and humans, who will never see peace.

My ties to this land are knotted a thousand times over. Even when I leave, a part of me is left behind, waiting for me to claim it when I return. But when I see the grit it takes to live through this pain, when I see the suffering that paints the world the color of blood, I look to the heavens and I wonder why. 

I ask God: is it worth all this? He doesn't answer. So I am the one, in the end, to answer my own question. I say, it has to be. 

Feel free to send any genuine, respectful, and clarifying questions you may have to my inbox!

EDIT: just coming on here to say that I'm really touched & grateful for the love on this post. When I wrote it, I felt hopeless; I logged off of Tumblr for Shabbat, dreading the moment I would turn off my phone to find more hate in my inbox. Granted, I did find some, and responding to it was exhausting, but it wasn’t all hate. I read every kind reblog and comment, and the love was so much louder. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🤍

Source Reading

The Whispered in Gaza Project by The Center for Peace Communications

Why Jews Cannot Stop Shaking Right Now by Dara Horn

Hamas Kidnapped My Father for Refusing to Be Their Puppet by Ala Mohammed Mushtaha

I Hope Someone Somewhere Is Being Kind to My Boy by Rachel Goldberg

The Struggle for Black Freedom Has Nothing to Do with Israel by Coleman Hughes

Israel Can Defend Itself and Uphold Its Values by The New York Times Editorial Board

There Is a Jewish Hope for Palestinian Liberation. It Must Survive by Peter Beinart

The Long Wait of the Hostages’ Families by Ruth Margalit

“By Any Means Necessary”: Hamas, Iran, and the Left by Armin Navabi

When People Tell You Who They Are, Believe Them by Bari Weiss

Hunger in Gaza: Blame Hamas, Not Israel by Yvette Miller

Benjamin Netanyahu Is Israel’s Worst Prime Minister Ever by Anshel Pfeffer

What Palestinians Really Think of Hamas by Amaney A. Jamal and Michael Robbins

The Decolonization Narrative Is Dangerous and False by Simon Sebag Montefiore

Understanding Hamas’s Genocidal Ideology by Bruce Hoffman

The Wisdom of Hamas by Matti Friedman

How the UN Discriminates Against Israel by Dina Rovner

This Muslim Israeli Woman Is the Future of the Middle East by The Free Press

Why Are Feminists Silent on Rape and Murder? by Bari Weiss

[cozycottagetarot]

PAC: How Can You Break The Cycle

Messages From Elle: We did it guys!😮‍💨

Notes:

This PAC Covers:

What is the cycle?

What keeps it going?

What will it take to break it?

What could that look like for you? (Patreon Extended)

‼️ THIS READING IS MEANT FOR SELF-REFLECTION AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY -- While this reading does broach topics relating to mental health & mindset, contain a bit of advice and reflective questions, IT'S IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM MEANT TO REPLACE PROFESSIONAL ADVICE OF ANY KIND. Please use your discretion, think carefully before you act and only take what resonates be it a little, some or none at all. ‼️

Reading Masterlist | Patreon | Paid Readings -- Open 🥂

PILE 1 (Brick Wall)

Current Energy

Cards: 10 of cups, The Empress, The Chariot

I feel as though you’re currently in this energy where things couldn’t be better��. But then why are you here? I know that's my job to figure out but still. I feel like you’ve been making strides to create the life that you want. You’re charging forward, becoming more disciplined and things are starting to feel warm.

The cycle that needs to be broken:

Cards: The Wheel of Fortune, Nine of Wands, Page of Pentacles, Four of Wands

The cycle that needs to be broken is one of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’re tired of fighting or always fending off the downward turn of the wheel of fortune and while you may try to keep your faith that things can get better and stay better, you're always expecting things to get bad again. You could be worried the new beginning won't start, the relationships won't come, or the financial abundance won't find you. I think this fear or vigilance has such a tight hold on you, that you end up not taking action. You may need to readjust your game plan. You don't allow yourself to relax. You don't allow yourself to celebrate your wins… you're always in this state of hyper vigilance.

What keeps the cycle going?

Cards: The Sun, The High Priestess, Two of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles

I don’t think you really allow yourself to be happy. That may be the current energy I was picking up on as well. When things are going great you don’t really let them go great. I also think you’re neglecting the things that are really important to you inside… maybe so much that you don’t even know what those things are anymore. Not knowing how to navigate this internal world of yours keeps fueling this cycle of 'oh, what bad thing will happen next?' You may also have a hard time making decisions or generally deciding what you want, floating back and forth between options. This back-and-forth stops you from actually putting in the work it takes to succeed and enjoy the FULL results, therefore keeping the cycle going. Another thing I picked up on is maybe the wheel keeps turning back and forth as well because from going back and forth all the time, you’re never really getting to move past the lessons you may need to learn in order for you to reach your desired outcome or abundance.

What will it take to break this cycle:

Cards: Seven of Cups, Five of Cups, Two of Cups, Ace of Pentacles

If you want to break this cycle, you have to make a decision on what exactly it is you want. It might mean leaving behind something, but you have to remember that so much more also awaits you in the process. Stop dwelling on what has gone 'wrong' before, especially if it’s past events that influence your lack of decision. It's okay to have that vigilance and use the past to better navigate the future-- HOWEVER, it's also important to get honest with yourself about whether it's a valid concern or a fear talking. It's time to change your mindset to focus on what can go right. I think also there will be someone available to help you once you make a decision about what you want to pursue. The alternate I'm getting is that you have to allow yourself to lean on others if you want to break the cycle. This could be through personal and professional relationships. But you have to actually decide yes, this is what you want. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to change as you grow, but first, you have to plant the seed. Once your seedling sprouts you can cultivate your plant however you’d like. There’s a lot out there available to you but making the decision to move towards it is where it begins.

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next pac!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

PILE 2 (Statue)

Current Energy:

Cards: King of Wands, The Star, The Tower rev, Queen of Wands

I see you showing up as being in a hopeful energy and that good fortune of some kind is coming your way. A good balance of masculine and feminine energy. There’s a sense of resisting something internally, however. A transition of some kind that you're wanting to make. It seems like it could be good for you and a lot of different areas in your life would improve, but what you know or are accustomed to might clash with what you want. However, you have what it takes to succeed. If you were drawn to pile 1, after reading this pile consider checking it out as well.

The cycle that needs to end:

Cards: Eight of Swords, The Devil, Ten of Swords, Knight of Swords

I feel like you’ve got a gloomy inner world. Very melancholy. You’re turning a blind eye to the things that are holding you back and draining your energy. It feels like you almost escape it but it gets you every time. You might not take the best care of yourself mentally or physically. With all the swords it could be a mental thing too and it’s important that you get (professional) help and take those steps (of taking better care of yourself). The cycle that needs to break is you getting stuck in this energy.

What keeps the cycle going:

Cards: Four of Swords, Eight of Cups rev, Ace of Wands rev, Ace of Cups

You don’t rest. You won’t walk away from the things draining your energy. You won’t open up your heart and you won’t do anything with your creative sparks... more or less.

It’s so important that you take a moment to take a good pause and regroup. You could find yourself turning to poor coping mechanisms and that's not good. You can't try to leave a bad situation either if you don’t know what made it bad. You also have to sometimes stick things out. If you tried breaking a habit and it didn't work, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to always have that habit. That’s a bad way of looking at things, and while it’s understandable to feel that way, you still need to work on it. You’re allowed to connect with your emotions and create as well... There's a need to review your plans/goals as well. You can be successful, but may lack the resources to easily be so... that’s also understandable but you can still work with what you do have. You may also lack confidence in you abilities to achieve your goals. You can manifest so many things you want but you have to believe in yourself and open your emotions to be able to connect with the feeling of what you want. It’s easy to say I want XYZ, but if you don’t figure out what that’s going to feel like, then how will you know when you’ve got it? It’s easy to get caught up in material things but the last thing you want is to wake up one day to a life that looks exactly like you wanted it to, only to realize it doesn’t FEEL the way you wanted it to.

What will it take to break the cycle:

Cards: Judgement, The Hierophant, Knight of Wands, Page of Cups

It’s time for you to get it together. Get serious about moving on to the next phase. I feel like it’s all going to work out based on the cards but you really do have to stop holding yourself back. Find a support group. Consider finding creative/artistic ways to express yourself. Step into a leadership role because there’s a good chance you can lend the wisdom you’ve acquired to others… This could be through a social media platform, sharing your writing, attending a local community event, etc. Work on making sure how you’re living aligns with your beliefs and vice versa. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Give yourself your all. I also feel like this is one of those situations where you have to remind yourself that sometimes motivation follows action.

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

PILE 3 (Broken TV)

Current energy:

Cards: Wheel of fortune, Queen of swords, Queen of pentacles, Two of wands

Your current energy is that you've shifted to a 'really good' energy or you're about to shift to a 'really good' energy. The Magician isn't here but that's kind of the energy I'm picking up on here too. Either being very faithful right now that everything is going to work out for you or that's the energy/mindset that you need to tap into. There are options available to you... You need a plan of some kind. You feel unable to move... unequipped even. Thinking about (or needing to) your long-term future. With the two queens, I think you're leaning into one of the two embodiments of the queen, maybe even both. You might have a hard time seeing yourself as either.

The cycle that needs to be broken:

Cards: The Hanged Man, The Tower, The World, Judgement

The other piles were definitely what I would consider a cycle on a loop that needed breaking but yours feels less like a cycle and more like you're just... stuck. You're ready to or have 'level/ed up', but it's as though you're stuck in limbo. This could be because you've gone through a 'tower moment' recently (say within the last year give or take) that's left you stuck in limbo. Or it could be a fear of having a 'tower moment' that is leaving stuck in limbo. Regardless this cycle is one of you needing to bring something to completion.

What keeps the cycle going:

Cards: Knight of Wands, The Emperor, The Sun, Eight of Pentacles, The Fool

You might be rather impatient. When you do things you may expect to see results immediately...that sense of 'oh, I did this tasks once, why don't I feel better 👀'. It could also be that you might not plan out your goals thoroughly or you may not be very clear on what it is that you want to do/achieve. I feel like since you don't take that moment to strategize and figure out what actually needs to be done, this cycle keeps going. You may just charge forth into whatever you think will bring you happiness. However, this means you can't put in the work required which can bring you back to a place of fear and doubt. This can create anxiety and likely catastrophizing which brings us back to that fear of a 'tower moment'. It could also simply be a case of being too laid back? On the flip side, while it's always good to have faith that things will work out, it's important to remember that a lot of times, you still have to play a role in that.

What will it take to break the cycle: Cards: The Star, Justice, Three of Pentacles, Knight of Cups

Have hope, yes. Dream and believe that good things are meant for you and those good things will find you. BUT, balance that with meaningful/conscious action. You must consider the long term. What is the end goal going to look/feel like? What is the journey of getting there going to take? Some of you already have the knowledge you need while others may still need to acquire it. Regardless, learning and implementation will help break the cycle. You have what it takes, but you have to stay the course. It's also important that you use action rather than simply ideas to motivate you. Fall in love with the act of doing.

I also feel like you should make a love list. I initially thought of that while going my first glance at the cards.

Also, do me a favour and take a nap, please! ✋

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

PILE 4 (Hammer)

Note: If you're someone who reads what cards were pulled, I mistyped the Seven suit for Current Energy and The Cycle so now that I'm editing, I realised I have no idea which suit the card belonged to hence the (?). Okay, that's all!

Current energy:

Cards: Seven of Swords(?), Queen of Pentacles, Three of Wands

It's time for you to broaden your horizons, however, you currently have to tread carefully. You could currently be job searching or looking for scholarships etc. There's a lot of opportunities available to you or becoming available to you. But you need to be diligent and read the fine print and get the details to make sure you won't be compromised in the process. It's important though that you be able to maintain a balance between your home/personal and academic/career life. You're in an energy of needing to remember to put yourself first.

The cycle that needs to be broken:

Cards: Two of Swords, The Emperor, Page of Swords, Seven of Wands (?)

The cycle that needs to break is one of constantly being at odds with everyone. I feel like you’re constantly bending over backwards or breaking your neck to try and appease others-- and no matter what you do, it’s not enough. I think this might potentially resonate more with those who are academics. When faced with a decision between what will benefit you vs what will benefit someone else, you have a tendency to either not make a decision of choose the option that will benefit someone else instead. This could be because you either live under someone with authority over you (like a caretaker or family) or you're in a position where you feel like you have to take care of others (siblings/family, partner).

I feel as though for some of you it could also be a romantic relationship? I'm not familiar with 'channeling' through music, but find myself doing it a lot lately. The song 'Lifetime' by Livingston just resonated with part of this pile for some reason. When asking if it’s a romantic situation, I got the cards: Eight of Pentacles, The Devil, and Justice rev. I’m also getting 'the right person, but wrong time'.

I think if it's someone with whom you share romantic feelings for, it's a situation where the relationship likely feels imbalanced and like hard work, but you don't feel like you can step away. If that resonated then that could be it. It could also be any unfair relationship dynamic.

What keeps the cycle going:

Cards: The Hanged Man, Ace of Wands, Death, The Moon, Eight of Swords

I think you’re in a cage of your own making, but not because you can’t see. You can see, but what you’re seeing isn’t clear. Because of this, you tend to end up pressing pause on moving forward. There's a lot of creative energy around you... for some, it's that it's a creative field waiting to accept you. However, you're too afraid to actually go for it and give it your all so I think you keep 'pulling the wool' over your own eyes. I think if there are people around you in opposition to you moving forward, you might see it as a convenient excuse to not move forward and transform into the next stage of your life. It's almost like the cycle doesn't need to be a cycle. You know when you're listening to a song and you keep restarting it 'cause you keep getting interrupted? And sometimes it's just you being extra because it wasn't even your favourite part you're just kind of nitpicking? Yeah, same vibe I'm getting here.

If the relationship resonates: I think you may need to let go of (or loosen your hold on) because they could be holding you back to the point they're dragging you down. Things are shifting for you, especially internally. You could be trying to hold it back though, but in doing so you could burn up and out. You’re seeing what really is and maybe you don’t want to. That’s the part that keeps this cycle going. I see images of a phoenix rising too.

What will it take to break the cycle:

Cards: Queen of Wands, The Chariot rev, Judgement, Three of Pentacles, The World, The Lovers

It’s time to use the things you’ve learned. Let go and let the cycle close. Trust that you’ll find love again or that you’ll find inner harmony. Trust that it will all work out in your favour. Take steps, even if it's baby steps to doing whatever it is you want to do. I feel like I said this already in a different pile, but even if you can't make a complete switch yet, start engaging in the things you want to do or eventually pivot too in small steps. You can always research or engage with it as a hobby for the time being. Also finding balance between who you are and how you show up to the world. Remember you have a lot to offer and it's going to do everyone a whole lot more good in the long run, the more authentically you can show up.

Want to know what those steps might look like for you? Consider checking out my Patreon for the extended version as well as early access to my next PAC!

Regardless, if you'd like a free mini-reading to clarify any part of this PAC, feel free to send me an ask with your initials and pile!

[murderofsomeone]

it's probably decently obvious that my main lemon demon design was created BEFORE seeing any fandom depictions (or even really that much official art past the logo) because of how violently he stands out in comparison to other designs. it's a little obvious that my inspiration was self-contained and it granted me a bit of creative freedom along with a completely different train of thought while designing him. his three eyes however is very much a relic of 2022 because I was designing a lot of demons with asymmetrical faces at the time and well, why not make another

anyway here's a comparison of him to my most recent lemon demon original design (where it's a bit more obvious I was influenced by somewhat of a fandom culture)

extra bonus rambling under the cut

my general design process has actually stayed relatively contained with a few exceptions like soft fuzzy man's color and weirdly neil himself. yeah sorry chat neil is the first guy that was highly influenced by someone else's design you can shoot me too if you'd like. but I legitimately believe he's the only real example because every other character that has a design remotely similar to someone else is likely due to us both following a similar source material (like my cabinet design being based off polybius) or there being only so many ways to interpret the design (gef the mongoose would've fallen into this category if it wasn't for the fact I made him Joker colors)

in general I tend to follow a mindset of how "weird" I can make a design or how much I can push a lyric/implement it into a design. I also like to twist around the convention and try new things. a good example of both of these apply to my doctor amnesia design.

really the main things going through my head were "well he didn't state HOW many eyes", chosing an eye color that often is overlooked in conventional beauty standards to elevate them and cause you to think, while leaning into the somewhat otherworldly nature she's depicted in by giving her blue skin, a color I associate with the song.

another fun thing I'll do is create a "design pipeline" where I'll take an attribute and run it through a list of connections before we end up in a place long past where we started or just combining a bunch of traits that could be interpreted that way, resulting in designs like this.

though wolfgang isn't my weirdest design, he definitely did not start where we ended off. I believe before the wizard of oz theming for clown circus was set in stone (a choice that has EVERYTHING to do with oz explodes and an element I'll explain later), he was some kinda mirror object head that had absolutely nothing to do with his current namesake. since I wasn't satisfied with that design, I kept a relative aspect of the personality and shapes and thus ended up creating a really interesting take on a character who is largely depicted as... well there's no really good way to say this, but Bad.

since I was working with a new fresh aspect I started by making him a wolf... and then connecting him to "there's a robot in my head". this kind of connected the dots to ultimately make him associated to the tin man, since no one was connected to that character for the wizard of oz element and it was up for grabs (this is also how he somehow got associated with toasters via connecting the previously mentioned song to "what's in the toaster", etc etc). these pipelines of connecting songs that aren't normally related, but making them Work in a believable way makes designs more interesting for me and gives them a bit more purpose and personality. I think this is what ultimately makes people get a bit lost on my interpretations considering they aren't super simple by just being about One Song, but by being about multiple that aren't originally related in the source material. just like how I connected dr amnesia to when he died, explaining a bit of her more mildly supernatural or off-putting elements by making the man in that song her father.

the final real design element that I focus on is the strange rule I follow in terms of how these characters are shaped. there's a massive sort of "alice in wonderland" theming going on in terms of how human/humanoid designs look in contrast to designs that look less and less human. their proportions become more cartoon and shaped, their sizes are affected etc etc all while the human/humanoid characters stay relatively normal next to each other with more believable design elements.

here's the horrid long strip of nearly 100 different character renders next to each other to get a general idea on what I'm talking about

the silhouettes of the human characters "pop" less because they're supposed to contrast to their nonhuman counterparts. which isn't something I normally do, but given the source idea of a sort of "wonderland", I think it works in this specific context.

in conclusion: I'm design autistic and like to use designing to try new things, which is why I fucked that lemon up. sorry about that chat

[iifishizzleii]

i feel so horrible for gwen, because you can literally see the toll of her best friend’s death on her and how it affected her entire SPIRAL.

like it started when her dad thought she’d killed him, and how she couldn’t even tell the him the truth because she was afraid of how he would react if he knew the person he thought killed the boy who was like his son was his daughter. then, when she does reveal her identity to him, it’s under pressure and due to her circumstances, so she’s not comfortable or willing, and neither she nor her father were in the right mindset to hear each other out. this led to something that was MOST definitely a traumatic experience for her, and Gwen didn’t even get time to process it before she ran.

and then the confidence she felt in her relationship with Miles and the confidence she had in HERSELF is withered, by the two adults who took her in when she was at her most vulnerable.

Jessica is constantly switching between kind and understanding, to cold and demanding with her, and it’s obvious how badly Gwen is trying to work with it to satisfy her. she asks Jessica to adopt her as soon as she sees her in action, showing how quickly Gwen got attached to her, most likely because she was kind of a filler for the mom she never had. which is precisely why it makes Gwen so much more emotionally open to being manipulated. (she literally gave Gwen the silent treatment for five seconds and it sent my girl into a panic mode. like. what.)

and Miguel is revealing all these things about how the Multiverse is gonna fall apart, and people are gonna die if she doesn’t do something about Miles—the only other person she can relate to because he’s just like her; a teenager wearing a mask, trying to be what the worlds wants them to be, failing, and going through things no kid should. he’s her reflection, except he’s so much more than she is, and she knows and loves that about him, but Miguel is showing her everything he’s done “wrong”, and Miguel is the only current male role model in her life, so obviously she’s going to look up to him.

neither of them even bothered to help her fix what happened with her dad, too. they just let her go along with them for MONTHS, utilizing how desperate Gwen was for some semblance of a family to get her to catch other anamolies.

she doesn’t do what she did to Miles consciously, and it’s blatant because every time Miles gets closer to his freedom, or he does something incredible, she’s always proud of him. and when he’s hurt, she looks just as pained (and guilty).

she was torn between helping Miles, or helping the Spider Society, but when he showed her that there was more than just the options every Spider Man was handed, and that the impossible can be possible, Gwen learned from it and grew.

Miles helped her, and saved her dad in the process (because he quit before becoming captain). she finna return that favor in the second movie.

[ascalide]

A Glimpse of A Forgone Possibility

Greetings, all! It has been a while since a colourisation is done so this time I've decided to make a series of colourisations from the panels in Mission 108 of the Spy × Family manga.

Honestly, it's obvious how much the latest chapter had touched the hearts of many readers. Yet, I still insist to slip in some of my personal interpretations of the particular scene involving Twilight near the end of the meeting in the festival.

I do hope that the pieces that I choose to colourise and then to combine into a series of images could reach the audience especially in terms of the feeling of the whole scene itself. In a way I would like the audience to connect Twilight's perspective to their own lenses in this case.

First of all, Twilight witnesses a familiar scene, the three butlers were waving good-bye in a happy mood as they leave the festival. Soon, the familiarity hit him as the blurry glimpse of the scene where his childhood friends were also bidding a farewell to him as they leave the festival back in Westalis, dated years ago. It felt as if a memory that seemed to be lost for an eternity morphs into the reality, forming a "what if" ponder in Twilight himself.

One may say it's that Twilight had finally regained the feeling of "friendship" but it is beyond that assumption. Twilight displaced the identities of the reality he is seeing, he replaced the positions of his lost friends into the current timeline, a brief visualisation that arises in his expression which I'd personally derive as "If they had lived to this day, we would have bid the same farewell as we used to back then."

The scene felt close to Twilight's core, it related to the closest event before his world changed. But it was not the reality. It was not the correct mindset to displace the identities of an existing entity to the lost ones. Hence, he closed his eyes, ending the comparison and imagination, as it had already been a lost outcome that couldn't be replayed even if he wanted to.

This came as the sturdiest reason of Twilight's aim. It was not simply to the extent of "completing the mission", it is and has always been the far-reaching, massive aim to never let any other individual suffer the same kind of pain. And this aim, would only be satisfied through world peace, through stopping the countless conflicts, through working this solution out as a spy, and through betting every effort into Operation Strix.

Twilight was not merely involved in Operation Strix so as to maintain this short-term "Cold War" tension between the two nations, he is responsible in every bit of his mission to attain that massive goal of ending all wars. And to attain such goals, he needs help, he needs collaboration and by having comrades as well as allies would bring him and everyone a step closer to the goal of the greater good. He knew that being content for the current moment and existing generation would not suffice, he knew that he could do more, and he would do more, which is to ensure the future to be tangible and not to only allocate his efforts to the current era, but also beyond it.

Ah, that's it fellow readers! That's quite a long description of what I personally interpret from the latest chapter but I hope it does leave some valuable insights. Thank you for your time reading this, I guess I'll see you in the next year, so happy new year in advance!

See you 🎆

The original artwork belongs to Tatsuya Endo.

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

I think one of the reasons that kaladin can deal with actively killing as a soldier but not with accidentally (passively) letting someone die as a surgeon is the sense of failure (plus of course the obvious protection aspect and the whole me-vs-them mentality he only really starts to question when Shin joins bridge four, and he starts interacting fairly regularly with a light-eyes he can genuinely respect). dalinar himself said that he "love(s) taking responsibility for things", which is especially clear in the way he still can't quite blame amaram for tien's demise (because he feels like this is his failure, too).

like we can see in the first book that the deaths of the people he swore to protect weigh on him not only because of the dying people per se, but also (and I would argue: especially) because of his FAILURE to keep them alive. he always makes this connection to himself, thinks of their demise in relation to HIS own person and HIS role and HIS failure (cue the whole "stormfather cursed me specifically" thing). like, besides tien and the bridgemen (who we know because they are active current characters), can we truly say much of anything about the people he failed to protect in the past? the only thing we really know is how HE feels about it and how it messed HIM up. but the people themselves??

kaladin just has insane main character syndrome, and everything happening to him (first dark-eyed to have the rank of a light-eyed, one of the only surgebinders, guy able to survive multiple fights with actual shardbearers, etc etc) do the opposite of helping him dissuade the notion. I feel like I lost the plot of my own post. Kal is honorable and a good guy and everything but he is also pretty self-centered? which I actually find really cool because many times people who do objectively good actions are still kind of demonized if they don't do it for the "right" reasons (aka purely 1000% selflessness), but Kal explicitly starts helping the bridgemen not because he actually cares about them but because he needs a reason to not commit suicide. and when he loses bridgemen (especially in the beginning where he barely knows them) he always immediately thinks back to the other people he FAILED to save. he isn't devastated because that person in particular died, he is upset because he is very bad at dealing with his own failures and also terrified that the wretch will use this to lure him back onto the ledge. i mean, he loathes failure so much he was resigned to never see his parents again (who he clearly loves a lot and who he knows would welcome him back with open arms; it's his own shame that he can't confront)

he helps people primarily to try to make up for the failures of the past, an attempt to dissuade the guilt and shame eating him alive 24/7 (which of course never works because guilt is a very unreasonable emotion and as long as he doesn't change his mindset and confronts his own beliefs about himself and the world it will never go away.)

"do the fire sprin create the flames or are they attracted by them?" of course syl was compelled to follow kaladin around. dude keeps actively (even if semi-unconsciously) putting himself into the same role and situation over and over again in the hopes that if he can only succeed one time it will somehow redeem him for his past failures. literally every single thing Kal does and thinks and believes is rooted in the fact that he blames himself for tien's demise. he needs to somehow redeem himself in order to be able to live with himself but at the same time he can never be redeemed because letting tien die is an unforgivable crime and yet he needs to make it up somehow because the wretch is always in the back of his mind and he's actually terrified of it but he is equally scared of actually somehow managing to get over this sense of guilt and failure because wouldn't forgiving himself mean he thinks tien is less important than his own stupid (and, in his mind, deserved) feelings?

that guy is so not over his brother's death it actually isn't funny anymore 💀 please get that dude some fucking therapy 😭😭

[1moreff-creator]

I really liked all of your theories and analysis! It was a crazy one year (and 5 months). I wanted to ask what you think about Nico and how their story is gonna develop moving forward, now that Ace is about to pass away.

Glad to hear you liked my silly little posts! It really has been a pretty crazy year and months. As for the question itself, of how Nico will develop...

Spoilers up to CH2 EP15 (though there's spoilers in the question itself lol). CW: Murder

I have no idea.

Really; like their LGI numeral, "even if I try to think, IDK!!!." There's a lot to address with them, but I don't exactly know what arc they'll follow. It feels like for every path I feel their character could take, I can also imagine it taking the exact opposite at the same time.

Their relationship with Hu and Rose are certainly the most notable aspects to consider atm. I really don't have much of an idea of how everything with Hu is gonna go, especially since Hu doesn't seem to have moved on from defending Nico just yet (see: "you keep accusing Nico!" (paraphrased) from EP15), but I can't imagine it'll go well. Nico already seems to be getting annoyed at Hu, but given how most people around them might distance themselves from the attempted murderer, I could see a world where they try to put up with her as a sort of "only one who forgives me" sorta deal? Or not? I currently don't have a good enough read on Nico's character to tell.

Rose is the one where I feel Nico might make some kind of attempt to reconcile. She's very clearly upset, but Nico did apologize to her in EP15 when they still didn't seem all that apologetic to Ace (beyond a small "I'm sorry" voice clip over triple dot dialogue), and it's been established in FTE that Nico legitimately enjoys spending time with Rose. Especially as Rose's mental state continues to deteriorate (I pray she looks away from Ace's execution my girl will not handle it well if she doesn't), I could see a Nicorose resurrection for her to try and remain stable. As long as she doesn't completely break down, it would be an interesting arc to explore.

That is, if Nico doesn't distance themselves from Rose to avoid conflict, which is certainly a Thing that Could Happen.

They're not the only ones. Veronika could end up getting involved, given she now has some kind of relation to Hu via the secret pact, and she's probably curious about Nico's mindset? There is that one comic dev drew of the two of them for Christmas, I could see the dynamic being explored further. Additionally, Levi could offer some interesting foiling of some kind, given Nico and him are now both confirmed murderer/attempted murderers.

But standalone... I genuinely don't know, I feel it depends too much on what other characters do and what circumstances befall them. I have zero clue where Nico's going to go, and that's exciting! Hope this answer isn't too underwhelming, thanks for the ask anyways!

[foxyaries]

My Manifestations

Hi Again! Foxy here :)

Now keep in mind these aren't manifestations I have gotten YET but they have been my main focus throughout all these years that I've been part this community. I know a lot of you would rather hear about things I have actually manifested but the reason I'm gonna talk about them a bit is because these are the ones that actually kept me motivated despite my lack of results or current circumstances.

As for how my journey began? It was subliminals :) Probably as for most people in this community at first I didn't really understand it. I didn't try to look into it or understand it. Because of course as most people I assumed that it was just music. It's funny to think about it, knowing what I know now. It was a first limiting belief that I realized that I noticed I had. Since we were kids we were always conditioned to believe that we had to work hard to achieve things we want and success. But that's not true. And that's what I realized when one day subliminals came across my feed once again and I realized why not look into it? The more I read about it the more I realized that maybe it is possible. I mean we only use very small part of our brain so why wouldn't it be a possibility? Like I like to say "If there's an idea, there is a possibility of it being true". And that's how I discovered it.

What did I want to manifest first?

Unfortunately back then I was very insecure. And I'd brutally pick on any flaws I thought I had, so my first subliminals were appearance related. However at that time I also was very unhappy not just with my looks but also my life. Mainly my family. As some of you may relate I had (and still have but maybe not as much because I am older) very strict parents and especially because I am a girl it felt like my only goal in life was to study but going out and having fun with friends out of question. And it got especially worse because we had just moved to a different country and I needed to learn a new language and find new friends (you can imagine how that felt for my introvert incredibly social awkward self😂). And because of that reason alone one day I thought "If there are so many subliminals appearance related? I wonder if there's different kind". First thing that came up was "Wake up in desired family" subliminal. And you guys don't even understand. Back then our community was pretty small so all it had was maybe 15k views but at that time it looked like a lot. There were even that many comments or success stories because everyone were considerably new to the idea. But on this specific subliminal there were maybe 5 success stories. All very similar. One day they went to sleep, felt like they went flying and then woke up in their desired family. Again at that time I didn't really understand the concept but those 5 success stories made me so full of hope?? Each of those people said it took them like 2-3 months so that's the time I set for myself in my head too and guess what :) I indeed achieved certain crazy results I'm gonna talk about in a separate post.

Unfortunately for me... as I mentioned before I was insecure. So those couple months I was focusing on leaving and waking up in my desired life (again I didn't know much about the whole shifting idea or exactly what it was but maybe that's what helped :) The less we know the better). Aaaaand of course I got insecure and decided to start listening to appearances subliminals at the same time and that set some kind of mental block that I'm only now starting to get out of. I dont think me listening to those subliminals is what stopped me from getting any results. It was my mindset. However once I realized that it was too late and I had no motivation to restart the journey :( Such a shame now because I was so so close but it's okay now.

Before anyone asks I did try looking for that subliminal channel and those subliminals. Unfortunately I believe the whole account got deleted.

Now onto the 2nd thing. Once I realized my mistake I stopped listening to appearance subliminals and decided to try something else. I came up to a "Manifest a fairy" subliminal :) Yes, say what you want. Like I said "if there's an idea, there's a possibility". For all I care, unicorns could be real and I am open to it :). And yes, my fairy would have been and will be a wish granting fairy. I saw her as a solution to all of my problems. Not only mine but my best friends. And thanks to my best friend and her spiritual companion I was told that it would actually happen! That I'd one day see my fairy :). However, how soon it'd happen depended on me. It could have taken days, weeks, months or even years but it all depended on my mindset. And here we are 6 years later because I went through another dark episode of my life. But it's gonna happen soon I feel it! More about my best friend and future life time fairy friend on a separate post! Because yes, I had certain results even with that👀

I do hope someone will be interested in some of this cause this does boost my motivation somehow haha

That's all for now tho! I'll try to make a post later tonight about my tape results the other night! Next attempt is tonight😌 And whether anyone is interested or not I shall make another about my first insane shifting results too! 👀👋🏻

[mellozheist]

Impulse Thoughts 🎤🎤🎤

Impulse is an incredible man

(He's actually one of my Top favorites Hermits!)

He and the rest of Hermits show me that being an adult doesn't mean You have to live a boring life, You can be responsible and still have fun!

His personality is very lovely, He's kind and really open

He's a prankster but very wholesome, He's so easily dragged to shenanigans or just makes one himself

His competitive nature of "I don't want to be bad at this" pushing him to improve bit by bit is very inspiring and I admire that

Every time He talked about his family show that He was such a loving husband and father

I like His mindset of seeing the world, I learn so much from Imp and Skizz podcast They helped me a lot during my Thesis year

He has a great voice to listen to (THAT LINE FROM TEAM STAR RAP HOLY MOLY) He's a goofy silly giggle man who can't lie xD

And I actually feel related to him a lot!

I usually host the meetings and note stuff in the university days with many group or event projects

and I used to be quite good at social deduction games (I'm saying "Used to" bc I haven't played that in a long time, maybe I'm rusty now) I love how Impulse can't lie but He's hella good at that xD

Also now, his current struggle from HC9 of [ having many projects so I can work on the other one when I don't want to do the one I'm working on] is so real to me, I always have so many projects on the list that just stressed me out that I need up burned out, laying down and do nothing for months (I think I got better now)

I like managing things and finding solutions for people

so yeah, I like the guy a lot :D

[yanny09]

hello gang it's me again

in relation to what you answered somebody else about communicating with gods! how do i know once i've reached the state of meditation where i can communicate with them ? i've never heard them before , not the way people describe so i don't think i'll be able to ever hear them but if that kind of mindset is holding me back then please let me know !

also side note , i had no idea i could be a devotee as a minor ??? i'm 17 and the legal age of consent in my country is 18 , but i've heard a lot of people say that i should wait until i'm an adult to be a devotee so that's why i've been reluctant to call myself one even though ... everything i do is devotee activities for apollo i fear ( but if i can be a devotee at my current age i'd be so joyous you have no idea !!!! )

YOUUU!! /pos YOU FAMOUS LITTLE CREATURE!!!! welcome back on my page bestie okay so for meditation i know ive got it nailed when im nearly nearly asleep, this is why i use music because i sleep in silence and in the darkness and i sleep HARD LMAO. then its more like... listening to what your gut is telling you, you think you need to relax some more? do so! thats probably the deity!! and yes, mindest can hold you back and it can hold you back quite alot. the only way i really experiance internal deity communication is in this state and it takes PRACTICE!! side note i didnt know i needed to be legal age to be a devotee.. honestly if you and apollo feel ready for that devotee and devoted realtionship go ahead! still reading this? THANKS SO MUCH??? remember to head to my page and ask a question if you have one!!

[catholic-character-tournament]

Quarter Finals - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Matt

Matt's faith in the show is really important and well explored; one of the first scenes of the show is Matt going to confession (or, well, talking to his priest since he's not really confessing at that point). Matt struggles a lot with what he's supposed to do; everyone's telling him to kill the villain and he kinda wants to, but he literally says: "I know my soul is damned if I take his life". He struggles with his faith and goes with his doubts to his priest, and it's beautiful—also when he finally gets a costume for his vigilanteing he chooses to dress as the devil, lol. (His priest tells him that nothing makes people run to Church faster than the feeling of having the devil on their heels.)

a lot of the show is about how he justifies his vigilante actions with his faith, and whether he's doing the right thing in trying to help people or just using it as an outlet for his anger. the literal first scene of the show has him in a confession booth talking to his priest (who is a really interesting character too). this is not the scene I was talking about but it's such an excellent scene with matt talking to his priest: https://youtu.be/XHZ3NbEIDdw

canonically catholic but dresses like a demon to be quirky

honestly i dont wanna type too much but i feel that matt is a great example of someone who battles with his faith because he rarely loses his faith but rather fights with why he was made the way he was and put through what he was. He believes himself to have the devil inside him but believes that God put him there

ok in the comics barring the most current run matt has Mostly been a non-practicing Catholic that very rarely actually does any catholic Activities but ends up falling back into the Mindset and very occasionally dramatically taking confession (ex. in that one issue where he takes confession, basically tells the father that he is uniquely terrible and is thinking about violently murdering someone and when the father says "you can be forgiven" hes like "AUGFH-- NO!!!!!!!!!!" and runs out) when he's gone through some shit. and i love that its so relatable

This guy so catholic he spends an ungodly amount of time just chilling in the church. And goes there whenever there is a moral conundrum about killing people being Bad even though it would solve a lot of problems and stop said people from killing other people. This happens every other episode. Matt is the Catholic Guilt Guy. There's actually a lot of catholic stuff in the show as a whole. Just a compilation would be like three whole episodes long.

Hes great hes catholic enough to not outrught murder people but not catholic enough to not fuck before marriage hes a bisexual disaster at all times hes besties with a priest might i add hes great hes my special little guy

his catholicism is a huge piece of his characterisation he was raised by nuns in a catholic orphanage, the first scene we ever see him (as an adult and not a flashback) is him going to confession, he is good friend with his priest and has regular debates with him, etc also in s3 he has a huge crisis of faith after he lost A Lot where he stops believing for a while and it's linked to his identity crisis where he actually wants to kill another person (a hard line he previously chose never to cross) and wants to be only daredevil and not matt murdock, when he is both and needs both to exist also when he was a kid his grandmother used to say "watch out for the murdock boys, they've got the devil in them" and it created a surprising lot of his issues

So he's both catholic in the comics and the show but he's More Catholic in the show. Like, raised in a catholic orphanage by nuns (ONE OF WHICH IS HIS *MOTHER*), second scene in the show has him in a confession box kind. Matt Murdock goes out and gets the shit beaten out of him nightly and also beats the shit out of other people and purposefully leaned into devil iconography as his theme. When his nurse friend says, he takes a lot of punishment without one complaint he says "That part's the Catholicism." It is a Core Aspect of his character (at least in the show). He makes me insane. Also the same chemicals that blinded him created the teenage mutant ninja turtles and everyone should know that.

They went to confession to a priest who they had saved as their costumed counterpart and the guy recognized them by the voice, proving that it's possible and everyone else is just dumb

he takes "i wanna fight god" to new and incredibly violent levels, while also being a sweetheart and a goofball

Actually strictly WILL NOT kill criminals. Goes wayyy out of his way to avoid it. Fights with the Punisher about it. Goes to confession booth after nightly vigilante excursions. Feels so much guilt. "How have you been holding up?" "Like a good Caltholic boy" "that bad huh" - actual conversation with his priest

So Daredevil struggles with his mission as a crime fighter because killing criminals goes against his faith. He makes it a point to not kill criminals, believing that even bad people deserve a second chance. This philosophy puts him at odds against The Punisher, who is a relentless killer. As a Catholic myself, while I love the concept of a morally conflicted superhero, I think the worldbuilding around Daredevil is lacking. If he struggles with violence and killing, why doesn't he pray to warrior saints like Saint Michael, Saint Ignatius of Loyola (a former knight), or Saint Joan of Arc? Why isn't there a community of other Catholics he can turn to for guidance, considering New York City has a sizeable population of Catholics? And why are the churches he goes to always empty? Doesn't he know that the Catholic Church supports the just war theory? I think that would have made his burden more bearable.

He goes to church and confesses to punching people and says "imma do it again can i apologize in advance" and the father dude says "no you're meant to stop now" and Matt says "no" and they do this everyday. I'm not remembering it properly but this is a canon interaction i swear

HELLO HI YES I LOVE HIM AND WILL INFOR DUMP ok so. he is a vigalantty and he got named daredevil and he is an orphan and after the age of 12 was raised in an orphanage at a Catholic church and his therapist is his priest via confession abd. also his mother is a nun he has a whole mental breakdown over god and called Job a pussy because he liked god until he got better and liked god again he said "I'm dearedrvil and not even god can stop that now" and he's so cool

matt is a freakish little babygirl who was raised by nuns and definitely has religious trauma. i hate him so much (affectionately)

he’s literally fucking insane about it i don’t know what to say here. he thinks he’s chosen by god to go on some sort of holy quest to save hell’s kitchen. joan of arc ass.

i already know hes in by default j just wanted to give him a personal shout out i love this angsty catholic dweeb

how practicing he is depends on the run, but in my favorite he is quite literally confessing to a member of the last extant order millitant who happens to be a priest at a church in hells kitchen.

i love him for having the funniest version of a trope i usually hate (person gets into confession booth and asks forgiveness not for what they've done, but for what they're about to do). usually this trope just looks silly to me bc like. the priest would just say "i can't do that" and you would have to either awkwardly explain yourself or just Leave. it's funny when matt does it because fr. lantom is probably like "what are you gonna do???" and matt's like "lol. lmao. 😊 hehehe." anyway we love this angry catholic man who dresses up like the devil to beat people up in hell's kitchen

I'm sure Harrow is lovely and I respect the space lesbians but listen to me. Listen.

Matt Murdock is the Catholic character of all time, and if you make him lose, I am blowing up this website and everyone in it.

He is Catholic. His mother is a nun. He grew up in a catholic orphanage. Half the episodes in the show include him going to confession. When he needs therapy, he talks to his priest. He dresses up as a devil partly because of the Catholicism.

One time he got godly powers on loan from Heimdall (see below), and he did a lot of good with it, and then the second it was over he just... well. Also see below!

This man's every coping mechanism is Catholicism.

Please vote for Matt in the @catholic-character-tournament because he's the best and most realistic representation of what it means to be Catholic. Someone who's been punched and bet and crushed by life but still gets up every day to try. No, he's not a nun like his competition but he's not less devoted because of that. Not everyone is called to service. In the day he works at a defense lawyer to help people. Not for the money but to help people not get screwed over by the law. And at night, he dons a mask and beats up assholes when the law fails them. Is he perfect? No, that's the point. Matt is a broken man who is just trying his best to do well and live like Jesus.

He fully embodies the Catholic doctrine of faith and good works. He has faith in what he's doing even if others challenge him. He believes in forgiveness and repenting even when going up against "the devil."

"The people you murder deserve another chance." ... "No, Frank. To try again, Frank. To try. And if you don't get that, there's something broken in you you can't fix, and you really are a nutjob." "You think God made you a one-man firing squad. But you're wrong. There is goodness in people, even in you. And you're gonna have to kill me, 'cause I'm never gonna stop coming for you, until I take you down."

Daredevil Season 2 Episode 3

He (tries) to love his enemy. He believes in Elektra and Frank and maybe Dex and their ability to change. To be good. And when he can't, Matt refuses to compromise on his morals. While not quite "turning his cheek" he never scoops to their level. Because they don't get to destroy who he is.

Daredevil Season 3 Episode 13

All he does is for the love he has to his neighbors, his community. He loves New York. Not for self-fulfilling needs or for the money or for the fame. He does it because he believes in justice. Because the law was created by humans and is inherently sinful.

"But his competition met God and was disappointed and blah blah"

Daredevil is more grounded (at least the show, maybe less the comics). So now, Matt doesn't met God. But he sure gets mad at him. All of season 3 he angry at God for all the trauma he expired.

"You see, that was me, Sister. I suffered willingly. I gave my, uh... sweat and blood and skin without complaint. Because I too believed I was God's soldier. ( chuckles ) Well, not anymore. I am what I do in the dark now. I bleed only for myself. ( scoffs )" ... "You might hate God right now, but the feeling is not mutual." "No, I don't hate him. I've just seen his true face, is all."

Season 3 episode 1

As a Catholic I don't really want to fight God in a parking lot. Well I do but not in the same way that I've understood (primarily Jewish people but probably other Abrahamic religions) want to fight God in a Denny's parking lot. I want to yell and scream and cry at God and for the feeling to not be mutual. For Him to never stop loving me. As long as I have faith, He will reach out his hand.

Homura

she is a catholic lesbian whose girlfriend became god. she has been through so much.

shes such a lesbian for amdoke

Catholic guilt literally turned her into a demon

she literally watches everyone she knows die over and over and over again just so she can save madoka, the one girl who showed kindness towards her. when madoka ends up basically becoming god in order to stop the cycle of death and violence, homura RIPS AWAY THE HUMAN PART OF HER SOUL so that she can create a world where she and Madoka and their friends can live happily, effectively becoming the devil to madoka’s god

She has so much religious symbolism when it comes to her relationship to Madoka. Madoka is God and Homura becomes Lucifer so that she can save Madoka and give her happiness. She literally rips God from heaven and rewrites reality though. The way she sees her self and shapes reality is through the lense of Catholicism.

most fucked up little catholic girl. we love that for her.

Okay homuras entire fuckin arc is stemmed from the fact she is Catholic. Look at her trying to save Madoka over and over again and suffering for it because she thinks if she suffers enough and works hard enough Madoka will stay. Normal people do not go into time loops willingly. Catholics will.

[wings-of-ink]

Oh, the asker mentionning all the cute little moments we got in the new chapter made me wonder about something else (yes, again....). I guess it may seem a bit unrelated, but oh well, brain does it's thing weirdly, sometimes.

Zahn already mentionned being somewhat distrustful of Oswin (despite acting nice and all), and there were strong tensions between Oswin and Duri. At this point, it's obvious all three teammates want to help MC in some way or form, but it seems they wouldn't necessarily stick together if it was not FOR the MC specifically.

Still, for the time being, I've seen more tensions between Oswin and the other two rather than between Duri and Zahn (though it may be because of my choices / the scenes I've seen, of course).

But because of that, I'm wondering what are Zahn's and Duri's current thoughts on a MC who is like the sweetest, gentlest and most genuine person ever, and who's so very obviously in love with Oswin - not to mention, who clearly trusts him with their entire being and very clearly more than anyone else so far. Not saying my MC doesn't trust or like Zahn and Duri (he clearly does), but it's quite obviously "not the same". And on a side note, just how aware Oswin is of the MC having that mindset? He seems so surprised every single time MC does something nice for him.

Hello again, my dear!

You are correct in that MC is the glue that is holding the others together. Oswin will be a bit tense with the others for a while, though he is already softening towards Zahn. Duri...will take considerably more time for Oswin to get comfortable with.

For an especially sweet and gentle MC, Zahn is honestly a little surprised. They're shocked to meet someone who is kind in general but specifically towards them. The Acceptor of their religious sect has told them over and over about the evils in the world, and Zahn would expect MC to sort of be that way too. A sweet MC leaves them feeling conflicted almost - like they don't deserve this treatment. They feel a type of guilt too sometimes - like they shouldn't be enjoying this relationship so much.

Duri, on the other hand, initially thinks MC is a bit naive - in a cute way. They also have flickering thoughts that the kindness isn't completely genuine too. They don't really mean that. No one is this nice. What is it they're playing at? What is it they really want? What do they seek to take from me under the guise of kindness? In a word - suspicious. In those moments where MC is quite kind to them, over the feeling of suspicion, there's warmth they try to ignore.

Oswin's awareness is all over the place. He notices a great deal, but his emotions are so clouded when it comes to MC that he doubts. He has doubts about almost any positive feelings towards him. He has guilt over it as well. He may feel like a charity-case sometimes, and does feel surprise if the MC is especially nice to him.

All three of them are a mess in a way, and it relates to their own personal stories you'll uncover as you travel and get to know them.

Thank you for the ask, my friend! ^_^

[brain-rot-central]

Good morning, I'm having mushy personal thoughts

I was throwing around the idea of a possible oneshot/other long fic with Mia the other day. Like Tav/Astarion as adventurers but the events of the game never happened. They're lifelong friends and A just happens to be a vampire with a shitty backstory as to how it happened. But he's like all well adjusted to it now and uses it to his advantage etc

And then Mia suggested something like "hey you don't have to make this BG3 related, it can be actual fiction. You write really well. You don't have to box yourself into just BG3"

And I went

"oh"

I guess it's my imposter syndrome acting up whenever someone says something like that but I'm still in the mindset of like "nah my writing isn't good enough to post on AO3" which is why the majority of my library is here on Tumblr. I don't feel like I belong there; AO3 is only for the really good people. Which I am not. At least to me. And I don't mean to be disrespectful of the grace and the support I've been given by this community; it's all entirely received and I feel it and I cherish it. It's just challenging to change that sort of mindset. But I'm trying.

I would probably never think to actually try writing professionally but tbh I'm at the point where thinking about doing my current career full-time until I'm like 70 makes me extremely depressed so idk I guess now would be a good time to try?

I had a thought the other day too after our discussion where I used to feel a certain kind of way in my 20s, like a whole mess of creative energy all vibrating at the same time and I would try my best to keep it locked in a box and contained and never let it slip out because why bother allowing your creative side to flourish? You didn't choose that path in life. Ignore it, it's not to your benefit. And I would get extremely sad about it and just sit there and go "idk why I'm so sad I should be happy"

And idk it made me really emotional thinking about it because that's what those feelings were. And I remember how creative I used to be in my teens and then over the course of my 20s I just shoved it further and further into a box and kept adding chain after chain over it, effectively trying to suffocate it because I didn't choose it as my career path so it has no use to me. Like literally just trying to kill off that part of me because it doesn't help with efficiency. Turning myself into a machine, essentially.

And now that I'm writing again it's like taking the chains off and allowing the box to pop open every once in a while and idk I feel really fulfilled. It's made me realize just how much of myself I've had to (or forced myself to) sacrifice over the last 10ish years and yeah. It's just nice to reconnect with this part of myself again.

I just wanna thank everyone again for their support. It means so fucking much to me.

Signed,

The girl who hides in the corner because she's told herself she can't hang with the cool kids.

Thanks for lending your hands and showing me otherwise.

[neoliberalbrainrot]

sensitivity readers and the privatization of morality

neoliberal politicians are typified by wanting to privatize everything. because neoliberal ideology aims to bring every aspect of being human into the realm of the market, morality is increasingly privatized. sensitivity readers are an example of morality being privatized in two ways: one, by the reader commodifying their marginalized identity to sell their ability to make sure a work isn't problematic and two, by the author involving a financial transaction in the evaluation of their morality. i don't think finding people to advise on topics related to marginalized identities is a bad thing at all, but i caution against doing so without recognizing the underlying neoliberal logic and trying to imagine ways to build a world where this problem can be solved without a privatization mindset.

first, what is a sensitivity reader? this is a person of one or more marginalized groups who offers to read over written content produced by writers to check that it does not have any problems in depicting that marginalized group. for example, an author who has no idea what it's like to use a wheelchair as part of daily life, but wants to include a character who uses one, can find a sensitivity reader who has the same experience and can look over the manuscript for inaccuracies and unintentionally offensive errors, etc. sensitivity readers are used even by major publishers, but can also be found in small writing communities.

i don't think this is a bad solution to the immediate problem facing authors and other producers of written content who want assurance that their depiction of a marginalized group is respectful and accurate. these types of advisors have been around before the modern era of social justice activism—plenty of movies have hired cultural advisors for example. what i think is odd, and a glimpse of neoliberal logic infiltrating a left milieu, is the uncritical acceptance and promotion of this type of transaction.

i always like to consider: how would i like this problem to be solved in my future utopia? first, no one would feel obligated to commodify their ability to edit a work from the perspective of their identity. that by itself is incredibly neoliberal logic. but also, both parties could approach it less like the advisor was presenting a moral hoop for them to jump through, and more like they are an expert providing information regarding a major topic featured in the work. it might be a painful or emotional or personal topic, but the priority would not be the author's moral purity but the sensitivity and accuracy of the depiction (if the primary intent is to make sure members of that marginalized group can engage with the work and feel respected, the work itself rather than the author's moral purity should be the priority).

in a better world, this could be one of many conversations that helps people understand each other without the shadow of a financial transaction hanging over it. instead, we have commodified this thread of human connection into something that can be transacted. even the name "sensitivity reader" instead of "cultural consultant" or "research advisor" indicates that some kind of moral evaluation is happening and that the relationship is between the reader and the text and not the two people.

again, given the world we currently live in, i don't blame people for going this route. being a sensitivity reader might be a valuable extra chunk of income for some and hiring a sensitivity reader might lessen the anxiety of authors participating in communities that are less forgiving than one might hope. in practice it is not really that different from hiring any other subject expert to ensure accuracy. but i do think it's important to recognize areas of human experience which are being brought into the realm of the market without our noticing, and this is one. one of the biggest dangers of neoliberalism is not just policies we can read about in the news, but the insidious change of mindset it inculcates in subjects. if we just accept that hiring a sensitivity reader is a thing without examining why, it closes off our ability to recognize what's, well, neoliberal, about it and imagine a better way to solve problems.

PS: if you find my writing interesting or educational, please reblog! like artists, writers depend on reblogs to make sure new audiences see their work. thanks for reading!

[sparky75]

Hello. I’m sorry about taking yet another unannounced hiatus. Although, most of us on OS Game RP did seem to take a bit of a summer break so I guess it wasn’t much of a surprise.

Life has been pretty busy lately. I worked as a summer camp counselor for July and half of August, and I just moved in for my first year of college not even a week ago. I’m currently in marching band camp which takes up most of my day.

But that really isn’t why I haven’t been RPing. Truth is…I’ve kind of been struggling to get into the mindset of Mapmaker or the Tide Arc narrator. I used to be able to just naturally know how they would respond to or describe what’s going on, but I feel like I can’t do that anymore. I still want to RP, but I need to get my head back into my characters.

So, how am I going to return to Tumblr RP?

By making a new blog!

I think the best way to get the RPing part of my brain to function again is by doing something that I want to. And this is a blog I wanted to make for a while and have been slowly working towards making. It still has a bit of a ways to go, since most of the character sprites still need to be made, but I think it should hopefully be active soon (don’t hold me to that though, I’m terrible at judging how long things take).

A little bit about the upcoming blog: I showed the characters of this upcoming blog a month ago, although initially only one character will be there, with the others joining afterwards one by one (it’ll make more sense when it happens). Another thing that I think will make this blog really interesting is that each character will be a different art style/art type.

This blog is not going to be OS Game RP, since they have no relation to OneShot, but I suspect most interaction will be with OS Game RP anyway. I’m hoping to have some minor characters introduced after the main 4, and I want to create some conflicts and fight scenes between the characters and maybe with some characters from other blogs.

Anyway TL;DR, I’m hopefully going to be coming back soon with a brand new blog that I’m really passionate about, and one that reignites my RP abilities I should hopefully FINALLY finish that godforsaken Tide Arc.

P.S.: If you followed my old RP blog, you might notice that blog doesn’t exist anymore. I’ve archived the posts, and will be reusing that blog for the new one. There may or may not be a preview of the new blog’s name there right now…