#how fucking weird is everything
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#how fucking weird is everything#i went from being mostly ok and even reading a fic yesterday to not being able to sleep most of the night#then when i finally managed to sleep it was not at all peaceful and i felt absolutely fucking horrible all fucking day#like my chest hurt and i felt like throwing up and didn't now what is sense in anything#and went out to met my bf and we had totally broken humor today laughing (kinda chocked) at basically everything#and i even menaged to listen to song or two#an then i ride home with chest still right#but i went numb while making food (i'm actually want to eat in some rare moments)#and now this doesn't totally seems real again?????#and i'm reading fic????#and?????#wtf even???#how all this works#i'm so confused#anyway#had to get this out#shay rambles#some defensive mechanics inside of me probably#so i won't go completely nuts#or something
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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it's been days since wandee goodday episode 05 but i keep thinking about how this guy?
ended up finding someone who cares in the same way
#wandee goodday#it's not a big thing but i keep rubbing these two moments together in my brain like kindling#like how fucking soul crushing it must be to care for someone and pay attention to everything about him for EIGHT YEARS#and then have him tell you he likes girls and also you're too vanilla and oh hey how about handing over that scholarship btw#and also he talks over you and insists he knows you better than you know yourself AND HE KEEPS FUCKING K-DRAMA WRIST GRABBING YOU D:#BUT THEN? you're on the receiving end of the care and concern? from a sweet big-banana-ed hottie who seems to genuinely enjoy your company?#what a weird mind-melting place to be in. the whiplash you know?#anyway i love dee and i love this for him#especially because he has an issue about being forgotten? i think?#I JUST LOVE THEM BOTH SO FUCKING MUCH
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part of me wonders if like. the whole “threesomes always get so messy!” “throuples never last!” shit is at least partially self fulfilling because people only do one or two and stop and write off the entire idea. like. do you still talk to the first person you dated? do you still talk to the first person you fucked? did your relationship with everyone you ever fucked stay perfect for forever or did it get messy and end? this idea that threesomes and throuples inevitably end in lost friendships and hurt feelings is kind of weird to me because so do 90% of monogamous relationship and flings. humans are messy. fucking someone and absolutely nothing changing about your friendship or relationship is pretty abnormal. I don’t know dude I’m just thinkin aloud here
#unimportant thoughts#like.#‘oh i dont do threesomes they always end badly’#oh okay and how did fucking your roommates sibling go for you??#everything normal and zero weird vibes between you and the coworker you hooked up with once???#you still talk to your ex partners right??? zero resentment still hanging in the air for you guys????#fuckin weird to me tbh#probably has something to do with how no one does threesomes with randoms so threesomes are always with people you know and interact with#so the fallout feels a little more intense between three people you know then with a guy from tinder or your coworker you see once a week#but still#considering the ‘Fuck and Fight’ relationship pattern of everyone who dates#¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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featherfowl
#dimension 20#d20#mine#fanart#acofaf#a court of fey and flowers#emily axford#lady chirp featherfowl#chirp featherfowl#lords of the wing#my lesbian queen. shes everything to me.#i was rewatching acofaf lately.... shes too mucchhh i love her tonss aughhhh u_u i have so much love in my heart for acofaf#its so fucking good aghh aabria drop another d20 campaign and my life is yours#i was actually watching burrows end while drawing this and it really made me want to learn how to actually draw stoats so i could do burrow#end fanart ... maybe i will . dont quote me on it but maybe#idk why this is so desaturated its making me kind of irritated actually... idk why my colors export weird this is not the first time it has#happened to me but every time i just kinda give up and let it happen.... maybe its only my laptop and its different on other devices idk id
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what's fun about shipping Tim with Dick, Jason, or Damian is he has, at some point, hallucinated all of them to comfort himself. even when he doesn't like them or particularly get along with them, he has to imagine/hallucinate them just so he has the power to go on. Tim's concepts of the Robin mantle and what it should be is so fun, because he respects the others through the Robin mantle. Tim worships Dick because he was the first Robin. he wouldn't be Robin if Jason hadn't died in the mantle. and a lot of his frustration with Damian is he feels Damian isn't honoring the mantle correctly. when you ship Tim with the other Robins you can't divorce their identities as Robin from it because Tim will always see them as a Robin first and that's so fun and fucked up. like.
batman (1940) #456
Tim perceiving Dick as *Robin* cheering him on, not Nightwing, which is the version of Dick that Tim actually knows? that's just. wild of him. he will always view Dick as Robin first, his personal hero but also the original of the legacy. his love for Dick is shaped by that.
and then of course, even when he's hallucinating/imagining Jason cheering him on, it's *still* through the lense of being reminded how Jason failed? subconsciously believing that Jason got himself killed because of his actions, and that being a lesson for Tim to learn from? Jason isn't a person to Tim, he's a moral lesson about how to be Robin. any potential idolization he could have of Jason isn't because he loves Jason, it's because of the lessons Jason's death taught him.
and then, even though him hallucinating TIm is from the New-52, which makes characterization all kinds of questionable, i do think it makes sense for TIm to hallucinate/imagine Damian after Damian's death in an attempt to cope with it.
teen titans (2011) #18
to an extend, he sees Damian's death as in part his own fault. and even hating Damian, Tim needs the comfort from this to cope with Damian being gone. he's angry that Damian even was Robin, and has to learn something from Damian's death and how it impacts the Robin mantle, and teenage heroes as a whole. like, Tim can pretend he hates Damian all he wants, even getting taunted by the image of Damian, but there's still an underlying love to their relationship.
i think that's just the fun of shipping Tim with any of them. you will never divorce Tim's views of them from the Robin mantle and how fucking Unwell he is about anyone else who's been Robin before or after him, to the point he has to hallucinate them comforting him when he's at his lowest. it's always going to be a little unhealthy, a little toxic, and driven by Tim's relationship with being Robin as well. i need more Tim being weird about Robin in these ships.
#necrotic festerings#batcest#jaytim#dicktim#damitim#this post was first going to just be about tim hallucinating damian but i got carried away thinking about the identity crisis arc#have whatever this is.#idk if there's much of a thesis other than “tim's fucking weird about the robin mantle and that should extend to shipping too”#been meaning to post this for forever#finally got around to it though so yay me.#now i need to go work on my jaytim in the new-52 thoughts bc. i have a whole post planned.#a stack of comics next to me for research and everything. god help me.#ALSO while rereading to grab panels#why is it that everyone talks about how jason says “robin is magic” in an attempt to mischaracterize him as sunshine boy#and not the fact that tim *also* says robin is magic?#like it's not a jason thing. it's a robin mantle thing.#that's just what robin *is*. it doesn't say much about jason's character for him to say that when he's robin. it just means he's robin.#the robin mantle is magic. that's the point.#and you could argue that's more of a meta thing that exists on the wavelength of how children where supposed to project onto robin#moreso than an in-universe commentary on what the robin mantle is#(honestly the same argument applies to tim hallucinating here for like. meta intent vs in-universe meaning.)#i hesitate to even call it hallucination it's more like. daydreaming coping.#giving a face to his internal monologue type thing and this is just how the medium depicts it#also it was just sexy and cool for characters to hallucinate loved ones in the 90s in comics. it was a convention of the genre.#but still my point stands. tim pictures all of these ppl as robin first internally#and he self soothes using their image in his head. that's wild of him like what#tim you are weird about the robin mantle more than anyone else i give you that.
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loop and mirabelle. That's it that's the ask
DAY 84: enrolled in the gossip wars
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#mirabelle isat#isat spoilers#vaguely. mostly for the tags#i think it'd be sooo funny if like. loop and mirabelle postcanon.#loop has rejoined the party somewhat recently and they are not at all adapting. to be honest. reunion probably happened too soon#bc they are a siffrin which means they are disgustingly sentimental. their ass is not taking the time to discover themself as a new person.#do you really think loop is gonna take their own advice.lol.#lmao even#Ok so anyways i think the party and loop would have a weird thing going on#like theyre all extremely grateful to loop. and they trust loop through the general basis of theyre apparently very dear to siffrin#but fucking nobody knows what to make of this bitch. odile knows they are hiding Something but she has no certain evidence to pin it down.#isabeau can't catch loop alone for more than 5 seconds. has the distinct sense they're avoiding him and he does not know why#bonnie....well tbh i think they'd vibe with loop. bonnie win.#mirabelle. i think she wouldn't really like loop? not at first anyways#do you remember in sasasap mirabelle telling siffrin(loop) that for a long time she thought they were a callous sort of person#bc they never took anything seriously at all. like the whole journey didnt mean anything. until they took an eye for bonnie#i think mirabelle would catch a similar vibe towards loop(lol.) bc like#like loop's main presence in the group is negging siffrin and being weird and dodgy around everyone else#i don't even think they'd be mean to the others but they would do everything in their power to throw the party zero bones#so all mirabelle has to go on for loop is that they're kind of a dickhead to her friend and that they're not receptive to normal group#social activities. i think being on the receiving end of mirabelle's kindness would make loop kind of sad and she'd pick up on it#but like. loop is inexplicably important to siffrin. she doesn't know the details bc neither of them want to talk at all about the loops#and i think siffrin would be especially dodgy abt talking about loop in the interrim between them rejoining and them being Presumed Dead#so mirabelle tries a new strategy to bridge the gap between her and loop. the power of Mutual Haterism#more specifically i think mirabelle would get the impression of loop as being much more of a bitch than they actually are#due to the aforementioned siffrin negging#so like. maybe that's just how they socialize maybe they'd be down to talk about hot takes and gossip a bit
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hey did somebody order *squints at ticket* “fuckable weird old guy?”
#fear and hunger#fear and hunger termina#fear and hunger august#moonless#o’saa#august is one of those characters that toes the like between weird and cool so well that everything fucked up abt him goes ignored#anyway i think we should focus on how insane he is#also the way to beat o’saa is to tell him that exploding himself w magic would be REALLY funny#my art#o’saa the yellow mage
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me: *seeing people yell about how they did Glintshore & Percy's death in the show*
also me: ..................anyway
#maybe its because its been fuck knows how many years since i watched 90% of c1#but i actually find the way they're changing things up super fascinating#i have questions to be sure and i think they're all having so much fun watching people go THEY'RE NOT GONNA PERMAKILL PERCY ??#(they're obviously not going to leave percy dead)#but because so many things have been folded on top of each other to keep the pace in this several hundred hour campaign adaptation#idk! i just think it's neat! obviously we're not done with ripley yet so we'll see what happens there#also people being like “i didnt need a sad backstory for ripley” like that wasn't the most obvious vehicle to introduce the assembly#a lot of these scenes they're adding in or folding together are doing a LOT of work#the storytelling action economy is honestly astounding#like don't get me wrong i get why people are weirded out by it (i am too! It's strange!) BUT it's not being done carelessly#some of you lot just want everything done 1:1 when they simply do not have the time to be doing that#i think i might do a full write up of how impressive some of this is when the season ends bc it really is a mammoth task they've had#the legend of vox machina#tlovm#legend of vox machina#critical role#c1#vox machina#lvm spoilers#tlovm spoilers#edit: to be very clear. i have been here since the very beginning. don't fuck with me lmao
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I'll find you. Wait for me.
hee hee hoo hoo AUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PAIN PAIN SUFFERING PAIN IN ALL DIRECTIONS!!!! TO HELL WITH IT (LITERALLY)!!!!!!!!!
#oakworthy#dungeons and daddies#dndads#fanart#hermie the unworthy#normal oak garcia#The Normal AU#counterpoint: this could also be normal canon. pun intended#they're soulmates your honor#rip to everybody on a phone. this only looks good on pc#I haven't drawn or really even posted about normal a lot because#I guess my internal image of him doesn't really look like what the rest of the community draws him as#like I tried to do the fluffy haired normal in one of my first posts with him#(was also an oakworthy drawing LMAO)#but it didn't feel right for me. it didn't match what I saw in my brain#no disrespect to fluffy normal. shoutout to that guy#gotta be one of my favorite genders#but yknow. every artist has their own unique way of drawing the cast#and it can tell you so much about how they perceive them. so much about the artists themselves.#have you fucking looked at sage's willy stampler. the npcs series. have you looked at their fucking anything dude#have you fucking LOOKED at iersei's EVERYTHING. ESPECIALLY THEIR NORMAL HE IS SO CUTE#I went on a whole rant about dndads artists to my friend qrow the other day. because I could not physically#keep in how much I love these people in our community#would you guys think im weird if I made a post going into Extremely Concerning Detail about how much I love the artists here#I love so many artists here#its so insane. its SO insane#IM ALREWADY ON MY SOAPBOX. ARE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT#SOB#I have to do my homework#my art
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just saw a post that might be the most phil-coded thing i’ve ever seen. this person and phil lester have gotta be linked on the psychic plane
#the fucking dry cereal and awkwardly saying sth weird without thinking and everything!!#plus singing weird little songs to yourself. phil will end up doing this exact thing too someday mark my words#like i read this post and was immediately like ‘how is this not phil’s post’#phil lester#amazingphil#dan and phil#dnp#phan#dapg#dnpgames#dapgames#the terrible influence tour#terrible influence tour#heydanandphil#<- just in case#i don’t think this person is into dnp otherwise i would tag them#my posts
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so fobcore to be up for two awards they deserve to win, lose both of them, not even show up to the awards show But dress up in silly outfits for their prerecorded performance. would expect nothing less from the band of all time tbh
#can i go on a more serious ramble in the tags#lets go for a more serious ramble in the tags#fob exist in such a weird space in the scene and pop culture like they are literally one of the most popular bands on earth#yet are constantly snubbed and not considered and not included and are always the underdogs in everything#they have influenced pop culture so much and yet are never recognized for it#and i think it’s a space theyre very comfortable being in like. they are loved and recognized by people who truly get them and mostly#ignored by those who dont and those who dont are. the majority of the music scene#but idk it’s just so interesting to me how they can be so popular and beloved and influential yet such underdogs all at once#and that is who they always have been and who they always will be but idk. sometimes i wish they got recognized a lot more#bc they deserve it. they might be happy occupying the space they do but. give them some fucking awards please JFKDNF#txt#p: 100
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if i just told you i love you would this world change
#witch hat tag#orufrey#these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was#some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that#like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god#aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it#ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this#the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings#“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want#to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you#maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me#i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life#until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to#NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*
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ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means
#my t#transandrophobia#yeah ill tag it why tf not#i just dont understand why transmasculinity is scrutinized and dissected like this within the trans community#when its just not the case for other gendered trans folks amongst themselves more often than not these days#which is a good thing! a really really good thing! but why are we scapegoating transmascs#''we need more weird trans people!!'' yall cant even handle like. a pre-everything trans guy coming out for the first time#yall cant handle a pre-everything tguy wearing a tshirt without tearing him to shreds & calling him shit like afag/theyfab & ukelele boy#im tired of my identity being treated as a debate. i had enough of that in highschool as#very literally. **the only trans kid in my grade** surrounded by cis teachers & peers USING ME AND MY BODY AS A TALKING POINT#i was the only one who wasnt deeply closeted that is. and holy fuck do i still not blame anyone for being closeted in that school#why is it only okay to try to separate trans ppl from our gender when we're not fem/me#why is one celebrated and the other treated like radioactive waste **within our own community**#god i need to find an irl community fuckin badly online trans circles are hell on earth#ill be describing smth that happened to me as a clocky tguy and someone else will say TO MY FACE#that what happened to me wasnt bc i was a clocky guy but purely bc i was trans#like i. what. how. how does that make any kind of fucking sense#i wouldnt be clocky if i wasnt trying to look like my gender. like i. hello?#would u say that to any other trans person or am i just that special?
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man i love how there was rly just. NO hesitation on charles' part on deciding to go to hell to get edwin out. like, typically you'd expect at least SOME deliberation, but nope he was instantly just like "so you can make a portal to hell? okay make one, i'm going in." and yeah some of it can be left up to the fact that he's a ghost and not as liable to die in hell as someone living, but seriously the fact that that was his default course of action? just right off the bat? that level of devotion is frankly a little insane
#god they are everything to me#now im just wondering like. how many times has he thought it over in his head?#gone over it again and again?#he's always been so determined that he and edwin are never getting split up. obviously that extends to hell as well but just how long do you#think he's been thinking about it?#i'm guessing he decided a LONG time ago that if edwin ever got dragged back to hell and he somehow managed to dodge his afterlife#that he'd go into hell to get edwin. he's find a way.#like it was just. so automatic in his brain#god. yea#magpie thoughts#magpie watches dbd#dead boy detectives#paineland#payneland#chedwin#idk wtf their ship name is OR how to spell it lmao#also this is open to any interpretation of their relationship. platonic romantic queerplatonic WHAT THE FUCK EVER one thing for sure its#fucking WEIRD (complimentary). and its HOMOSEXUAL
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#I also think american exceptionalism and their bizarre cultural one-way street isolation plays a role#i think it's different if you actually see other countries as equals and see that they have female leaders and realise that it's#not going downhill it's not solving everything it's business as usual and it's just another boring fucking politician#and this makes the gender of the candidate LESS (not saying no) issue people obsess about or feel a need to discuss#(e.g. people laying into the appearance of female politicians? certainly misogyny. making jokes about cooking and shoes? definitely too#but I feel like that was more a 'gotta insult these fucking politicians' and gender being one of the targets when people want to do that)#but if you're the US and giant parts of the populace think they're the specialmost extra complicatedest country in this our planetworld#the fact that it works for so many other countries takes a much lower priority#because 'yeah sure a woman can govern a....'checks notes' Fineland and United Kingdom of England or Germanland'#but the US of freedom? we got a red button and what if she's on her period!!?! We are a REAL country!!'#not to mention how deeply entrenched the idea of the US as being CONSTANTLY under attack is and the president as the PROTECTOR#and that protector needs to be daddy of course#i also think the different attitude to leaders plays a role#because a part of misogyny is how much people love to HATE women - to sink their teeth into them and demonise them for every flaw#so any country that has some kind of weird worship of their leaders or sees them as some heroes or extra-class of person*#in my opinion might have a harder time to elect a woman because the moment a woman becomes a candidate#you just have to find the right flaw to go on and on about to make the population absolutely hate her or question her competency#meanwhile the general slack we cut men means they can do whatever but somehow still be compatible with that concept of leadership#(*not just the US ....though a lot of other countries with similar attitudes to their leaders are not standing out as democracies tbh)
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