#how do you normally function on the internet?

[cainite-bite]

no i dont want to use the app! i dont even want to browse it on my phone! let me open that shit on my desktop! why is everything barred to a stupid app on google store! get that outta here!

[arundolyn]

hot(?) guilty gear take:

danger time is fun and not nearly as bad a mechanic as some people like to claim. they're just salty when they lose to it

[toxifoxx]

🥴🥴🥴

[lilleputtu]

I am trying so hard to behave myself and not start a hermit/empires/trafficsmp medieval sims 2 hood. Emphasis on trying because ooooops, Team ZITS.

I blame @redstonedust‘s hermitsims adventures.

I have other sims things to be doing. And my sims 2 sim making skills are gaaarbage. But sometimes you just gotta be rewatching Zedaph’s season 6 and making some vaguely blockpeople shaped sims I guess.

[kafus]

please let me introduce you to NeverHappy, my most beloved pokemon ever.

i found her as a budew on someone else’s save file after buying a used copy of pokemon platinum. the name “NeverHappy” was a pretty obvious joke about how budew evolves from happiness, and since the previous owner was going to keep her in a box forever, never use her, and never evolve her, she would never be happy. this activated some feral response in my brain and i decided no. she WOULD be happy. i was still replaying through all my old gen 4 games at the time but i traded her off to my other gen 4 files for safekeeping until i could do stuff with her.

oh trust me game. i would.

so you might have thought my plans were to simply evolve her and beat the game with her, get her to level 100, maybe even EV train her - but i had much bigger plans. i was going to ribbon master her. the ribbon master challenge, or the process of “ribbon mastering” a pokemon, is getting every single ribbon possible on a pokemon from the game it was caught in to the most recent game it can be transferred to. if you weren’t aware, that’s a LOT of ribbons. there are 40 in gen 4 alone. i had a lot to do.

(the above clean screenshot was taken by backing up my cartridge save and screenshotting a battle video in emulator. however, i did all of this on my actual DS! i don’t like playing on emulator. not as fun)

i had to beat every contest (normal-master rank in all 5 categories) and do a bunch of other random stuff but my favorite part of the process was defeating the battle tower... 6 times. the battle frontier contains the most challenging battles in gen 4 by far, as opponents have good stats and competitive movesets. there’s 6 battle tower ribbons in gen 4 - two for singles at different points in the win streak, one for doubles, one for multis /w NPCs, one for multis /w another player (i just played with myself on two dses), and one for ranking up in the wi-fi room, which is now accessible again due to fan servers restoring internet functionality for gens 4 and 5.

NeverHappy was randomly caught in the wild and did not have a competitive nature or stats, so i figured that she would just be tagging along in the back while i took out all the win streaks with 2 good pokemon, but she ended up clutching out wins in times of dire need... multiple times. she even ended up being necessary in the wi-fi room to stall out prevalent hacked pokemon like no guard sheer cold machamp, which hits 1 hit KO moves every time, with a gimmicky and convoluted leech seed + substitute strategy.

i could go into all of my team members and the excessive lengths i went to get them all (don’t even get me started on my shiny competitive latias from pokemon emerald) but that’s a story for another day.

by the end of gen 4 i was extremely emotionally attached and she was already becoming one of my favorite pokemon, now with 40 whole ribbons after days and weeks of effort.

i have ribbon mastered pokemon before, so all of my save files in gens 6, 7, and 8 were already set up to transfer neverhappy into and grab all of the ribbons. i had a lot more battling and little tasks ahead of me. it’s really cool how ribbon mastering forces you to interact with pretty much every feature of every pokemon game.

and so i transferred her! gen 5 doesn’t have any ribbons, so it was just an intermediary to transfer into gen 6. at this point, i had also acquired a shiny luxray from pokeradar chaining in platinum named Nightlight, and i was ribbon mastering them together, but once again, a story for another day.

first into gen 6... getting the super training ribbon was really annoying but the battle maison was pretty easy. i had a team in multis with terrakion and a whimsicott with beat up that could 1 hit KO all of the boss battle’s legendaries in one hit LOL

then gen 7... this one went by pretty quickly but i opted to get the best friends ribbon here instead of in XY or ORAS because it was really simple to get with rainbow pokebeans, since all you have to do is max out affection and it only takes a couple rainbow beans to do that in USUM.

and gen 8! you can see nightlight to the left in this picture. by far the hardest part of gen 8 was getting the ribbon awarded for winning a battle in master rank in online VGC against other players. i definitely had to grind that one for a while.

then, she even got an award in BDSP for being a pokemon originating from the original diamond/pearl/platinum games, which was really cool.

oh, and since i had cloned neverhappy back in gen 4 with a glitch so that i would always have a copy of her in her origin games, i was able to take this neat picture! how the times have changed LMAO

luckily she was even a part of PLA’s roster and i was able to take a picture with her there, too... which actually might end up being important since there’s an invisible flag somewhere in the game’s code that gets turned on when you take a picture with your pokemon in the photo studio, which could potentially become a ribbon in the future in another game.

so, trainer Platina from 2016, you were wrong! NeverHappy is in fact happy now and has done more than most people’s pokemon have seen in their entire lifetime. she is my most cherished pokemon and i love her more than i love myself. i think i would die for her

i abbreviated this story a lot because i didn’t want to make this post longer than it already was but i was randomly inspired to talk about this today since SV is coming out soon and there will be more ribbons to collect for any of my ribbon masters that can be transferred into SV, which got me thinking about her. my journey with ribbon mastering has taught me more about pokemon games than any normal person should ever know and if you were interested in any details i left out or how i accomplished certain ribbons (including battle frontier strategies) feel free to shoot me an ask! :D i love talking about pokemon at any time any day of the week.

[sekhithefops]

How to Kill Microsoft's AI "Helper" Copilot WITHOUT Screwing With Your Registry!

Hey guys, so as I'm sure a lot of us are aware, Microsoft pulled some dickery recently and forced some Abominable Intelligence onto our devices in the form of its "helper" program, Copilot. Something none of us wanted or asked for but Microsoft is gonna do anyways because I'm pretty sure someone there gets off on this.

Unfortunately, Microsoft offered no ways to opt out of the little bastard or turn it off (unless you're in the EU where EU Privacy Laws force them to do so.) For those of us in the United Corporations of America, we're stuck... or are we?

Today while perusing Bluesky, one of the many Twitter-likes that appeared after Musk began burning Twitter to the ground so he could dance in the ashes, I came across this post from a gentleman called Nash:

Intrigued, I decided to give this a go, and lo and behold it worked exactly as described!

We can't remove Copilot, Microsoft made sure that was riveted and soldered into place... but we can cripple it!

Simply put, Microsoft Edge. Normally Windows will prevent you from uninstalling Edge using the Add/Remove Programs function saying that it needs Edge to operate properly (it doesn't, its lying) but Geek Uninstaller overrules that and rips the sucker out regardless of what it says!

I uninstalled Edge using it, rebooted my PC, and lo and behold Copilot was sitting in the corner with blank eyes and drool running down it's cheeks, still there but dead to the world!

Now do bear in mind this will have a little knock on effect. Widgets also rely on Edge, so those will stop functioning as well.

Before:

After:

But I can still check the news and weather using an internet browser so its a small price to pay to be rid of Microsoft's spyware-masquerading-as-a-helper Copilot.

But yes, this is the link for Geek Uninstaller:

Run it, select "Force Uninstall" For anything that says "Edge," reboot your PC, and enjoy having a copy of Windows without Microsoft's intrusive trash! :D

UPDATE: I saw this on someone's tags and I felt I should say this as I work remotely too. If you have a computer you use for work, absolutely 100% make sure you consult with your management and/or your IT team BEFORE you do this. If they say don't do it, there's likely a reason.

[scientia-rex]

I was raised by parents who, as far as I can tell, were not actually wild about having kids. They had us because they felt like they should. That was the normal thing to do. Big mistake, etc., neither of us really talk to them, but anyway.

The point is, my parents did not teach me life skills. I did not know how to change a tire or fix plumbing or even much simpler things. Learning to pump gas gave me MULTIPLE high grade public panic attacks.

But you know what? YouTube and the modern Internet are making life so much better these days. Get yourself a decent screwdriver (two—a Phillips and a flat head) and a hammer and a level, and you’re halfway to being functional and independent.

Over Thanksgiving our sink broke and YouTube taught me how to fix it. I am so grateful for this era.

[ms-demeanor]

making my own post because nobody needs my bullshit on their post:

OP:

Reblog 1:

Reblog 2:

My response:

The IRA blogs were here and they were active and they were quite popular; their posting patterns did not match normal tumblr users (i was followed by lagonegirl and followed back only to be put off by the account reblogging the same five or ten posts every hour for a day before selecting another five or ten posts to reblog hourly the next day - it was clear engagement bait).

Tumblr has never been as transparent about these accounts as both Twitter and Facebook were, but several of the accounts had shared names across platforms and you can find a significant amount of data that was released by both facebook (ex: ads purchased by the IRA accounts) and twitter (over three million tweets from IRA accounts). Academic researchers have published papers on the data released from facebook and twitter. Several papers. So many papers. Soooooo many papers. We have a LOT of direct evidence that you can explore for yourself that there were hundreds (possibly thousands) of IRA accounts that were created on Facebook and Twitter. Of those accounts, some shared usernames across platforms, and of those accounts, a few had tumblr accounts that posted the same content on twitter and tumblr.

To quote a buzzfeed news article from the time:

The Russian-run Tumblr accounts used the same, or very similar, usernames as the account names contained on a list of confirmed IRA accounts Twitter submitted to congressional investigators. In some cases, the Tumblr and Twitter account has the same profile image or linked to each other in their bios. Some IRA Tumblrs and Twitter accounts also cross-promoted content between platforms, further linking them together.

Current tumblr user @ alwaysbewoke (who I don't want to tag because I'm sure he's got better things to do) is interviewed in that article and talks about following one of the blogs identified by tumblr as an IRA blog that had a matching account on twitter identified as an IRA account but unfollowing when the left-leaning blog supposedly run by a black creator started rooting for trump in the election.

Dr. Jonathan Albright is heavily quoted in the article; the data review he collaborated on is one of the only reviews of this subject that includes data from Tumblr and Reddit.

One of the claims that I've seen is that tumblr just deleted funny black people, but these were blogs with thousands of followers on tumblr who never recreated, never popped up on another social media site, never started a reddit account after getting banned; nobody ever showed up saying "hey this is 4mysquad, I got banned on tumblr and twitter, follow me to pillowfort". These very popular blogs got deleted and, as far as I know, nobody ever popped up claiming to be a person who was deleted - and it's not like tumblr users haven't figured out how to evade bans.

What you are doing when you make posts saying that the IRA accounts on tumblr never existed is *absolving tumblr of guilt for their utter lack of transparency.*

Tumblr is not the only tech company that has tried to fly under the radar as its larger counterparts face regular scrutiny in Congress and in the press. Earlier this month, Reddit revealed it too had deleted hundreds of accounts with ties to the Internet Research Agency. A WIRED investigation found more than a thousand links to Russian propaganda websites are still live on Reddit, and unearthed two suspicious accounts that Reddit immediately shut down.

So should you believe what Tumblr says? No, because Tumblr has been functionally fucking silent on this issue and the information about this subject aside from the list of blogs has come from the hard work of data scientists, journalists, and researchers.

(For the record; some of those bot accounts that were recorded by Dr. Albright also had Google+ accounts in 2017 - there is every possibility that they had myspace accounts).

Now, the reason that I'm popping onto this post as an annoyed anarchist is that I was tracking a similar group of blogs for a while and was discussing them and I stopped precisely because of the galaxy-brained liberals who are now trying to dunk on communists for criticizing electoralism. One of the people who was following my project was one of the ones who started calling out the "joe biden kills dogs" posts as disinfo and I realized they were using some of the guidelines I'd written up to "identify" misinformation and that is very a rock fucking stupid approach to what was clearly a leftist making jokes and was horrified and realized there was no way that I could continue documenting what I was documenting without someone attempting to call actual leftists russian bots.

I've seen the post that OP is referencing [it's one where someone makes a very obvious joke about the democrat presidential ticket and people jump on to call them a bot and then someone tries to do the "AI tell me a story" thing and OP is just like "I don't want to :(", proving that they are in fact a person and not an AI] and have deeply enjoyed the humor of watching liberals a) not understand a very, VERY obvious joke and b) become the unwitting butt of a joke they were trying to make, but also I am so exhausted by watching normie dems call leftists AI bots after years of watching normie dems call real live actual leftists who hold actual political views that real people actually have, like prison abolition, russian bots.

But I am also so fucking tired of left conspiracism and how stupid it sounds when leftists dismiss a preponderance of evidence that is easily accessible and publicly available for analysis as "lol so you just trust everything tumblr tells you?"

No, dipshit, learn to click a fucking link or twelve.

[phrandallanton]

ranfren headcannons

I've done everything but posted headcannons and a fanfiction. This won't do. Here's some headcannons of mine! All of them aren't serious so don't take them that way d(>_･ ). Feel free to ask me about any other headcannons I'll definitely give more!

Randal

• if he has any pimples on his face he definitely picks at them untill they pop

• either is really good at math or sucks at math and hates it. (No in-between)(leaning towrds sucking at math more)

• has tear stains on his homework sometimes

• he bathes everyday dispite what people think. (Luther forces him too)

• his hair gets really oily. He has tried to cook with the oil his hair produced once. Nobody ate dinner that night.

• if he's frustrated and you go to poke him he'll scream on top of his lungs, but like the scream that goes from normal yelling to banshee screeching. "stop touCHING MEEEEĚĘƏƏ!!!!"

• gets in a lot of internet arguments about things that don't matter at all ("I think you'll find it's 'whom'.")

• he'd get so mad if he ask you to hold his glasses, and you proceed to carelessly get your fingerprints all over them.

• draws with those "how to draw anime" guid books.

• if he ever took a driving test, he would have already failed the moment he opens the car door.

• loves kraft mac and cheese, double points if it's in shapes of popular marketable characters.

• now thinking of it, if he was a pasta dish he would be kraft mac and cheese.

• bites his toe nails off (gross) Luther tried to get him to stop but he probably does the same thing when no one is around.

• sneezes weirdly. Like..."ah...ah...AH CHOOwoowoowoowoo..." and shakes his head. Or if he's covering it in his elbow it'll sound like a trumpet horn.

Luther

• he can dance but it's weird.

• if you tell him a joke he'll turn it into a life lesson.

• he wins every staring contest. However if your eyes start watering he'll get worried and start begging you to blink.

• treats women (and everyone) with so much respect, but he won't hesitate to punch a women if he really has to.

• *shakes his indext finger* "no no no"

• Randal probably tried to set him up on a blind date, he didn't like that. It was very awkward to say the least.

• genuinely gets happy when there are bagels at the function.

• when asked for advice, it'll sound like he's going to say something really meaningful and life changing, but then does a complete 180. "Oh, you think your ugly? Well people will have their opinions about you and ...well... you aren't the best thing to look at. But there's worst out there ♡."

• I can see him gobbling up some cheese and broccoli.

• has a walk in closet filled with clothes and accessories he doesn't wear.

• he 100% definitely has the goofiest giggle in the planet.

• eats ice cream with his front teeth.

Nyon

• I will stand by this till the day I die, he's really funny. He has a really good sense of humor. But I could also seem him not understanding jokes too. But at the same TIIIMMEE I feel like he'd be naturally funny.

• he knows lots of slang and pop culture due to watching TV a lot and probably quotes stuff in his head. (Maybe out loud if he was talking to you)

• has a lot of opinions, will never say them out loud, even when asked.

• he's the smartest out of everyone, including Luther.

• easily amused. please give him one of those little fishy nightlights. He'd enjoy looking at it so much.

• he's good at card games and Nyen doesn't like that. (Nyen has stabbed him over games of uno)

• has a really funny looking smile. (There's that one drawing in the Christmas comic where he's smiling weird after he saw Luther's reaction to the fire place tape he made for him)

Nyen

• listens to death metal but then listens to a jpop song right after. ("Can't let gang know I fw this")

• good at math, sucks at reading.

• loves hearing about drama and will be nosy.(come on man he loves Judge Judy and romance novels)

• sounds like Tom from Tom and Jerry when he yells.

• he calls himself "The Tom Cat" and (canonically) "Top of the pets in the house hold" which is practically the same as "I'm the alpha" so he's probably has said that.

• sucks at card games. Will legit end up with half of the pack of cards in his hands in the middle of an uno game.

• actually the weakest of them all. (I won't go into all that right now. But I can definitely beat him up in a fight, just sayin.)

•him and Nyon probably have times where they stay up and chit chat for a bit before they sleep, Example (from my old notes I had):

Nyon high on weed:...why do we call oranges..oranges...but we don't call apples...reds..??..

Nyen:....sh*t...you got a point... does that mean we would call lemons: short yellows and bananas: long yellows so it doesn't get confusing?...

*they then discuss this for an hour or so*

• Snores really really LOUD. Sounds like a car.

• oddly very ticklish I bet.

~~~~~~

That's all I have now. It's 2 in the morning and I'm falling asleep. I might write other characters headcannons later.

"I'm going to sleep" -bop it

[megumishotgf]

cabin holiday with bf! katsuki

summary: going on a cabin vacation with your pro-hero boyfriend, katsuki.

warnings: some nsfw content (like three sentences detailing sex) oopsie

masterlist

thinking about renting a cabin in the middle of nowhere with katsuki. he sustained a injury during a difficult mission a few weeks ago and the hero commission insisted he couldn’t come back yet. you know how damn impatient your boyfriend is - he is itching to get back to his job. he physically cannot function without a routine. staying in bed all day? not a chance in hell.

you suggest going away with katsuki for the final week of his time off. he agrees because what the hell else is he supposed to do with his time? also, he can’t say no to you. he feels like a fucking caveman for the first few days because there’s no internet. he’s always complaining.

“y/n, the hell did you bring me to this dump for?”

“you’re annoying. no, i’m not going to a damn spa!”

“there’s nothing to fucking do here. guess we’re going to have to fuck all day.”

but he settles in quickly. katuski is the perfect housewife. he cooks three meals a day for you, makes sure the fireplace is stocked on wood, makes sure the windows are closed so you don’t get those damn mosquitos inside… and, of course, he will act as if it’s the worst thing ever but he loves being able to take care of you. even if you insist it’s his time to rest, you know he hates being kept still and having nothing to do.

as katsu said, you have sex all the time. in front of the fireplace, in the shower, in the hot tub, on the kitchen counters… any surface there is, he wants you bent over it and begging for it.

on the second day, you decide to go on a hike around the cabin. you’re surrounded by tall forestland. the earthy air smells so good in places like this. you can hear birds singing sweet songs, branches crackling underneath your feet and… katsuki’s beautifully gruff voice. careful, dumb ass! do you want to fall over and die?

he’s concerned (terrified) that you’ll run into a bear but you tell him he’s just being silly. although if you were to encounter one, they would definitely feel threatened by your angry spiky-haired boyfriend who constantly looks like he’s about to throw hands.

remember the spa you mentioned? the one katsuki refused to go to? after some convincing and head he agrees to go. but never for a massage. he doesn’t want anyone’s damn hands on him but yours. you spend time in the sauna, the pool and finish the day with manicures. of course, katsuki gets one nail painted to match the pretty colour on yours. afterwards, you’re glowing radiantly and he can visibly see you more relaxed. he notes to agree next time you suggest having a spa day.

the next morning, it’s beautifully sunny. the weather is uplifting and you wake up earlier than usual to start your day, the golden hues all around the cabin making you feel energised. katsuki has already gotten up to do a quick work-out (he won’t listen to you when you reprimand him about his injury). you suggest going out for a bike ride to appreciate the beautiful day.

on your bike journey, you drive past a field full of flowers. there’s lawns of wild flowers growing and swaying gently in the wind. you’ll stop to collect some. katsuki will take one of the daisies you picked up and tuck it behind your ear. my pretty baby, he’ll call you. your heart swells at his softness. you love seeing this side of him. the special side reserved only for you to see.

on your final day, you and katsuki decide to stay in the cabin and relax. it’s colder today, despite the sunny weather you had just the day before. katsu makes you your favourite breakfast. yeah, yeah brat. i didn’t make this for you. but of course he did. he always makes sure you’re eating well. he can’t keep his hands off you normally, but today he seems to be unable to let go of you.

the day ends in fucking great sex. katsuki is so touchy today and makes you feel so loved and desired. he’s got his hands all over you, his cock making sure to hit all your favourite spots. after prepping you with his fingers and mouth, obviously. and he drags it on so long until you’re begging for him to get to it. but he just wants to savour you and this moment. you’re so pretty. his pretty girl.

he’ll end the day confessing he’s going to miss this. and it hits you then that’s why he’s being so touchy. you’ll make an ‘aw’ sound because your boyfriend is so freaking cute. he scoffs when you call him that, though. katsuki gets back to work shortly after you come home. he’ll think of the night you fucked in front of the fireplace often and it’ll get him so noticeably hard.

[cyyfics]

You made a post asking for silly/dumb requests to do while stoned, I think I got one; Simon and/or Winter King x Memelord reader! I just gotta know what these old men would do in the face of a big chungus or skibidi toilet being spammed at them. Would they like among us? Also, your writing is good and I hope you have a nice day, and if is not the type of silly you were looking for, I totally understand.

—————

Meme lord Hc’s

Pairing: Simon X Winter King X Reader (seperate)

Collection: the stones series

Note: hello this is my time to shine 💅

If u guys dunno this is a um thing where I write silly things when I smoke

- these r a bit short sorry guys I cannot I cannot uhm function properly at the moment teehee

- also this isn’t rly aj x reader like it’s not romantic at all but idk idc

————

Simon

- he is so confused with literally everything you are saying. “What is Among us??” He is so elderly that ur jokes could easily kill him.

- so, he does not like among us. He does not understand it at all.

- which you believe makes him ‘sus’, simon doesn’t understand that either. How does him not understanding something make him suspicious??

- he looks at you with concern and confusion everytime you say something weird, one time he heard you talking about a ‘skibbidi toilet’ and thought you wanted him to buy you one or smth

- he looked online. Almost died. He’s so fucking old, he didn’t understand none of it.

- has tried to take the internet away from you. In response, you get worse with it.

- “Simon, make me girl dinner.” ??? Simon is so confused “girl.. dinner? So like normal dinner??” You stress this man out. “No.”

Winter King

- he likes it, finds you to be quirky and interesting. Although, he still doesn’t understand you. But he’s supporting at least

- “girl dinner. Now.” You demand “coming right up!” And then he proceeds to not serve you girl dinner and you scoff at him.

- “what do you mean the dinner is sus??”

- I don’t think he likes among us. He doesn’t understand it. He knows you like it though, but he doesn’t agree with your choices.

- he tries to use your memes and phrases, gets them wrong every time. “It’s giving.” Winter king said as he passed you “giving what.”

- he doesn’t even know. You tell him.

[byhees]

boyfriend moments.

엔하이픈 ・ female reader + word count 5000 genre fluff established relationship warnings not proof-read nicknames slight insecurity — more

a/n. blank

heeseung

when he teaches you how to play video games. heeseung absolutely loves gaming (but he’s said that he loves you more ^^), so he’d want to spread the joy of it! after all, you’d been so infatuated with these highly-detailed graphics and mechanisms, often finding yourself perched on the edge of the bed, watching the game progress from the ‘sidelines’. at the start, heeseung would stand behind the gaming chair, giving simplified instructions and guidance to you, an absolute gaming newbie. sometimes, you’d panic a little and smash random keys, leading to an inevitable fail to your advances — heeseung would giggle a little, seeing you huff in frustration and disbelief from how horribly you were playing. now, he had even generously shifted his set-up to the left, clearing a sufficient amount of space for you to have your very own yn-ified area! heeseung had added you to his friends list, and you two have occasional couple-gaming nights, filled with laughs and cheers.

when he takes pictures of you. heeseung just finds your beauty to be so enthralling and breathtaking, so he’d try to captivate each precious moment spent with you on camera, just for the memories ^^ you’re smiling at a cute surprise he had showed up to your doorstep with? he’s taken a photograph of your cheery grin and crescent-shaped eyes. you’ve dressed up extra prettily for a date? he’s telling you to strike a pose for the camera. you’ve decided to wear an embarrassing onesie out in public? he’s giggling behind the phone, snapping a picture of your ‘uniquely glamorous’ state, probably using it for his lock screen too. he just loves you so much, and wants to remember each second.

when he pokes your cheeks. heeseung had always found you to be extremely adorable, and he especially loved your cheeks; to him, they were super cute, and made you resemble a chipmunk, which he decided was a new nickname. he’d have a habit of poking your cheeks at least once a day, if not, he’d be pretty pouty and would state that he “wouldn’t be able to function normally”. in addition, he’d find the slight widen of your eyes and the rosy tint spreading across your face after the act, to be endearing ^^ you’d familiarised yourself with this habit so much, to the point where you’d expect for it to happen at any point; and when he had happened to forget, you’d personally wrap your fingers around his pointer finger, raising it and guiding it to your cheek with a soft sulk — “gosh,,, can’t believe you didn’t do it today :(“

when he buys matching clothes for you two. it was only after seeing sunghoon buy matching hats for him and his dog, gaeul, that the idea sparked within him. so he’d now head over to the nearest stores, browsing through the clothing racks until he’d spot a pair of similarly-printed shirts. he’d show them off to you with such a wide grin, that it’d be nearly impossible for you to refuse. he’d take a lot of selfies with you, and would reenact cute couple poses on the internet, with you! expect him to come home with a whole shopping bag filled with cheesy matching t-shirts and caps,, and expect to see a thorough haul of each item!!

when he ties your loose shoelaces for you. whenever your laces happen to come undone, he’d always be the first person to notice, stopping you abruptly mid-walk. at first, you’d gawk at him with knitted eyebrows, and would be on the verge of voicing a question, because it was quite peculiar to pause in the midst of the pathway. he’d bend down and outstretch his arms, fingers wrapping round the flimsy material, tying a quick, secured ribbon. the last thing he’d want was for you, his treasured girlfriend, to step on the lace, and come landing on the concrete ground!!

jongseong

when he opens and closes doors for you. it was very well-known, even amongst acquaintances, that jay was a gentleman — someone of polite and chivalrous conduct. he had always been so respectful to everyone; he’d treat others as they wish to be treated, and had a good etiquette! as his girlfriend, jay would take his courteous mannerisms to the next level, always ensuring that you were treated with absolute care. the first time he opened a door for you, he worried a little about potentially offending you by implying another meaning to the gesture, but you reassured him that you were flattered by the sheer kindness in his intent. now, he’d open and close doors for you, even adding an old-fashioned line while doing the slightly traditional act.

when he styles your wardrobe. jay was a proclaimed fashion professional, with his knowledge of colour pairing and styling being being very extensive. he’d just know the right pieces to compliment you, and would help you in picking out the outfits that’d make you radiate even more! sometimes, he’d use this to his advantage, slipping in a few of his personal shirts just to see you wear his clothes, the fabric draping your body loosely. and he’d even fiend in faux surprise, exclaiming, “is that my shirt??”. most of the time, you’d be quite flustered, unsure if you should change to a new shirt. when you’d ask, he’d always protest, telling you that you look better in it, and that you could keep the article of clothing for yourself — an excuse to see you wear his clothes more often,, ^^

when he offers you his jacket. this could apply to several situations — during chilly nights, or during a dinner date. when he spots you shivering beside him, limbs trembling in the midst of the cold, with your thin cardigan doing little to shield you from the breeze, he’d take off his own jacket and wrap it around your shoulders, taking you by surprise. you’d protest profusely, exclaiming about how he’d “freeze himself to an icicle” without it, but he’d just shake his head, a small smile creeping up his face and adorning his curved lips while zipping it up for you. when he spots you uncomfortably pulling down your skirt or dress during dinner, a bothered expression written over your face, he’d take his jacket off, draping it over your lap without any hesitance. you’d be extremely startled from the sweet gesture, fingers gently brushing against the cotton, eyes darted to jay, who was shifting back to his seat. unknowingly, the corners of your lips would raise, and you’d inquire in a sing-song voice, “ooooh what’s this?” jay would gaze off into the ceramic plate, feeling the tip of his ears reddening as he responds with a mumbled, “i figured you’d need it more.”

when he surprises you with flowers. he’d love to see the elated look on your face, and the little “thank you”s you’d say, peppering his face with a million pecks. one fond memory was when he showed up to your school/workplace with a bouquet of your favourite flowers hidden behind his back. he was standing outside the exit after hearing news that you’d be coming down soon, heart pounding against his ribs, hands clammy from all the times he’d accidentally mistaken someone else as you. when you’d waltz out, he’d feel his breath hitch from how pretty you were, simply just walking over to his direction, locks of your hair blowing in the wind. “hi babe! you’re here early,” you sounded, embracing him in a hug. jay would’ve reciprocated if it weren’t for the fact that he was busy contemplating an appropriately romantic way to bring up the flowers. “what’s up with your left hand hm?? are you hiding something, bub?” okay,, now or never ^^ gingerly revealing the surprise, it had caused a soft gasp to be elicited from you — it was so sweet of him,, especially after a horrible day at school/work. muttered swoons from passers-by could be heard, and it went well with the thumping of your heart — that’s your boyfriend <3

when he makes playlists fit for your music taste. jay had always been very attentive to your words, making it a point to catch every minute detail. you could be rambling on about something trivial, like how someone snatched the last waffle in front of your eyes, and he’d pay absolute attention to you. that was also the reason why he knew you so well — including your preferred music genres! jay was an avid music-lover as well, so he was able to recommend some good tunes to you, ones that reminded him of you ^^ he’d gotten slightly worried if you’d be unable to catch all the music titles, especially the longer and more complicated ones, so he decided to make playlists for you — easier to share to your account too! you could be preoccupied with something, and he’d whip out his phone, already typing in your name, or a nickname of yours, followed by a ‘part 4.8’ (the number changes with each playlist made!), as the playlist’s title. after he was done with song queues and orders (because he wanted the experience to be as amazing as possible,,), he’d show it off to you, playing it on the speakers with the brightest grin, and a small, silly shimmy! though he’d probably cover his face after it, feeling very very embarrassed,, and you’d smile so hard at the sight of him :))

jaeyun

when he offers you an earpiece during train rides. you two absolutely loved train rides, always found them to be enjoyable, especially in each other’s company — perhaps it was because you two met at a train station, after you courageously approached him for navigation assistance, and barely got any information back because he was equally as confused as you were,,, so you two just got on a random train and hoped for the best! now that you were in a relationship, you two found regular train rides, paired with some music, to be a ‘tradition’ of sorts. and truth be told, you were kind of forgetful, always leaving your bluetooth earphones uncharged, and your wired ones lying on your desk — but not to worry, because jake was there to save the day! he’d often offer you an earpiece, to which you’d gratefully accept. he’d play your favourite songs, which complimented the low chatters of the public, and the muted rattling of the train on its tracks ^^

when he pecks you on the lips. jake adores you, and everything about you, including your lips, which would curve up into the prettiest, and most precious smile he’d ever seen in his entire life — and that was a unique combination with his love for physical affection ^^ he loved leaving kisses on your velour-soft lips, but he loved your reactions even more. it was endearing seeing your eyes glint with newfound astonishment, your face lighting up from the mere gesture. he’d giggle at the sight, leaning in to peck your lips once more.

when he watches horror movies with you. jake and you shared many things in common, but one point that truly stuck out for being immensely similar was the fact that you two were renowned scaredy-cats. any slight contact would initiate a harsh flinch of surprise, and a sharp turn of the heel to detect potential ‘monsters’ lurking behind. though you two couldn’t stand a single jumpscare, you found horror movies to be inexplicably amusing, and quite intriguing — the plots were mostly good, and could have a mysterious twist with a large impact. that was why you two agreed to watch them together, because two scaredy-cats totally equate to a good idea! mid-way through the movie, your concentration wouldn’t even be on the television, but rather the ‘mini competition’ on who could tug, and pull the blanket up first. in the end, you two cowered beneath the thin material, limbs messily wrapped around one another in a questionable attempt of a hug.

when he sleeps in with you. it wouldn’t be done on purpose, but being sprawled out on your bed, whilst gently tracing jake’s features, and playing with his messy morning-hair seemed more appealing, especially when compared to folding the laundry. legs stretched out, blanket now residing on the cold wooden planks, you two shared a unified giggle — it wouldn’t hurt to lay in bed for a little longer ^^

when he plays with your hair. it had all started when jake found interest in hairstyling, scouring the internet for easy-to-understand tutorials on how to do certain styles, like braids! at first, he considered purchasing a mannequin head, and sticking a wig on it, but the thought of seeing such a sight in the middle of the night, especially while unsuspectingly refilling his glass with water, was mortifying, so he decided to not opt for that. seeing his bent-over posture, and his fingers, which were struggling to grasp onto those stray yarns, you frowned a little. hence, you offered for him to experiment round with your hair, allowing him to try out his newly learnt techniques ^^ it wasn’t something to grumble about though,, you actually found it to be relaxing. jake had been super elated about this, buying little clips with little cinnamon roll charms pasted on them, and even some butterfly ones as well! he’d ‘decorate’ and ‘spruce up’ the hairstyle in his own jake-way! :)

sunghoon

when he gives you shoulder massages. he’d see your tensed-up shoulders and the slight tremble of your pen, and know that something was troubling you. “want me to give you a shoulder massage, cupcake?” he’d ask all of a sudden, his honey-like voice resounding in the room, giving you internal serenity almost immediately. he wouldn’t be the best at it, so at times, he’d accidentally tickle your neck, causing numerous giggles to erupt from your lips ^^ but the feeling of being in his reassuring hands, and the little kisses he’d leave on the top of your head, did measures to calm you down <3

when he plays with your fingers. sunghoon would be cuddling you in bed, and would absentmindedly begin fiddling with your fingers, fingertips gently brushing against yours. he’d find it entertaining to trace the lines on your palm, and would occasionally intertwine fingers with yours ^^ a plus was when you wore rings, the dainty metal complimenting your skin tone perfectly. he’d love fidgeting with the small accessory, twisting and turning it around softly round your finger, with a sleepy excuse of “the pattern’s not facing the right way”, even though it was a plain stacking ring. he just loved finding open opportunities to play with your fingers :)

when he tucks you into bed. at times, you’d insist to continue watching your movie on the couch, despite being half-asleep and barely comprehending the subtitles. and when sunghoon walks back into the living room for his phone charger, he’d see you knocked out on the uncomfortably shaped couch, half of your body hanging off the chair. of course, he wouldn’t leave you ‘hanging’, quite literally! scooping you up in his arms, he’d attempt to tiptoe his way to your shared bedroom, careful not to make unnecessary noises. gently laying you on the sheets, he’d pick up the abandoned blanket, draping it over your curled-up body (because he didn’t want you to feel cold in the middle of your rest ^^) planting a kiss on your forehead, he’d whisper a short, “good night, love,” before switching off the lights, and closing the room door.

when he has karaoke nights with you. sunghoon loves to do karaoke, to belt out slightly incorrect lyrics to an instrumental, to try his best to achieve a high-score of (hopefully) 90 and above — he knew he was good, didn't want to discredit himself, y'know? once while passing by your room, he had happened to catch soft mumbles and hums, as well as a familiar song playing as the backtrack — no way,,, was yn... singing?! instantly, he'd burst into the room, receiving a pillow to the face and a high-pitched "AHHH—!! WHAT THE???" he'd suddenly begin singing praises of your voice, and would pull you in for a random hug with a "why didn't you tell me you could sing THAT amazingly??" from then on, he'd invite you to his weekly karaoke sessions, and would cheer you on from behind, doing weird dance moves to match the beats of the songs — "wahhh, that was the most angelic thing i've ever heard!!", and you'd reply with a reddened face, "stop it, oh my god.." (but he'd keep going because he feels like you deserve the recognition ^^)

when he sends you loving text messages. he’d often check up on you, asking you questions like, “have you eaten yet, love? make sure you eat the lunch i packed okayy?? it may not be the best but i tried :(“ or “how’s your day baby~? mine’s kinda bad because i haven’t seen you in foreverrrr…” in addition, he’d love to compliment you, both verbally and through text. you could be seated slightly further away from him, and would receive a notification from the texting app, reading, “wowowowowo are you really my girlfriend?? i must’ve saved an entire village in my past to have you in my life <3”, or even “you look so beautiful today, cupcake!” you’d wind up chuckling from those messages, finding those knowing glances he’d send you, as adorable as the texts.

seonwoo

when he hugs you. sunoo approaches you for daily hugs, always. he finds your presence to be soothing, and always melts when your arms wrap around his build, face nuzzled against his shirt — you were really his personified serotonin booster. there were times when sunoo would sneakily, or rather, not so sneakily, steal a hug. you’d be trying to adjust your necklace, neck retracted to hook the clasp into the jump ring, and he’d wobble right up to you. “need some help, bub?” taking your chain necklace in his hands, he’d swiftly hook it at a comfortable length, before leaning in for a hug, hands wrapped around you. “oh-!” “a way to thank me~ hehe.”

when he reads you snippets of his favourite books. sunoo was a wide-reader, and found himself to be easily immersed in the stories being unveiled in the form of words and texts. he had an entire bookshelf dedicated to his favourite reads, the ones he wished he had the ability to erase his memories of, just so he could reread them without knowing the endings. he even decorated the area with potted plants and photo frames to make it feel more cozy. it was quite obvious that he took pride in his collection ^^ though he was a tad bit particular about his prized books, he’d allow you to roam the selections freely. through his generosity (and hint of partner privilege :0), you’d developed a love for books as well! hence, every night, sunoo would read excerpts of his favourite paragraphs, or even share impactful sentences and phrases, with you :)

when he orders food for you. if someone were to quiz sunoo on your food likings, he'd probably ace it with flying colours — being late-night snack buddies, he knew your comfort foods, your favourite ice-cream flavours, and even your preferred nostalgic childhood snacks. at times, you’d have to come home late due to extracurriculars / additional work, hence you’d be unable to purchase your dinner, or even a little sandwich to sustain throughout the winding walk to the apartment building. seeing the dwindling biscuit storage, he’d probably figure out that you’d been resorting to those small cookies as a substitute for dinner. hence, he’d order a plentiful meal for you, adding on a copious amount of side-dishes (only the ones you liked, of course!). he’d lay the containers out neatly on the dining table, and would patiently wait for you to come home :(((

when he writes encouraging phrases, and draws on your wrist. after hearing you open up about your insecurities and concerns, sunoo would try every means to lift the mood, and to give you some encouragement during challenging times! he’d shower you with kisses, and offer comforting cuddles, but he’d know that actions alone wouldn’t leave a lasting reminder for you; he’d then pick up an easily erasable (and non-toxic!!) marker, writing little phrases like, ‘fighting!!’, and ‘i knew you could do it!’ on your wrist. he’d even draw tiny smiley-faces too! :) sunoo really adores you, and wants you to know that he’ll be there with you, no matter what.

when he buys you chocolates and plush toys. having a really bad day? sunoo would personally head down to the nearest shopping mall, even if it were later at night, and would purchase a new plush toy, as well as your favourite chocolates! he didn’t want you to fall asleep with troubling thoughts and conflicting emotions, and he certainly didn’t want to see you cooped up on the bed, body leant against the headboard in sorrow, after not getting a wink of sleep, either. he’d come home, hands full of comfort items, and would stay up (even though he was starting to fall into a state of exhaustion) trying to brighten your spirits &lt;3

jungwon

when he sends you cat videos and pictures. jungwon was quite well-known for his love for cats, and he even had cat themed objects lying round the house — like an alarm clock, with two pointy ears and a squiggly tail. unfortunately, he was allergic to them, and could not adopt one for himself :(( so, to reduce the disappointment, he’d watch random videos of cats on the internet, often giggling at how adorable they were. downloading the videos, he’d forward them over to your number, with a little message of ‘good night ynnnn!’. at first, he’d send videos and separate messages, but after learning from the internet, he’d mastered the skill of editing texts onto photographs. hence, he now sends five cat pictures a day, all having notes like, ‘i think i love you too much. is that possible? i feel like i should slow down’, or ‘can you please make me sandwiches the way you do? with the diagonal cuts and all? pleaseeee i miss ur cooking :(“ unbeknownst to him, you’d be saving each one into your photo gallery, organising them into a folder, tilted ‘won’s goofy behaviour…’

when he invites you on nightly walks. after finding out about your love for walks, he’d invite you to accompany him on his late-night trips round the neighbourhood, hands intertwined with one another. it’d be pretty quiet out, considering the point that many would be prepping for bedtime,, so it wouldn’t be crowded or anything, just the way jungwon liked it ^^ he’d take in the idyllic sceneries, and appreciate the littlest details of nature with you, amusingly gazing at a flowery shrub to point out your favourite blossoms amongst the bunch :)

when he brings you on cafe-hops. jungwon would only do this once a month, considering the amount of money needed for it, but it’d be the most action-packed, eventful, lovely day ever! do you like studio ghibli? well, lucky you, because jungwon managed to find a studio ghibli themed cafe nearby, one selling spirited-away cakes, and totoro macaroons! do you like sanrio? lucky you again, because jungwon just chanced upon a website advertising a sanrio themed cafe, one selling sanrio desserts, and a whole bunch of merchandise! oh,, did you say you liked mushrooms? well, jungwon found a fairy-themed cafe with mushroom latte art, and and, mushroom stools!! he’d be so elated, bringing you round his researched eateries, and ticking off his itinerary for the day ^^ coming home, you two would slump into the couch, legs aching from all the rewarding walking.

when he draws you. though jungwon didn’t pride himself to be an excellent artist, he wanted to try sketching you,, just for his little scrapbooking hobbies ^^ you’d be completely immersed in pouring the accurate amount of milk into the measuring cup, and the right amount of flour into the bowl, that you wouldn’t notice the boy sat on the dining table, a sketchbook and pencils sprawled out in front of him. he’d try his very very best drawing you, because he wanted to capture as much of your beauty as possible! though it’d look a little off, and slightly stick-man like, he’d pridefully cut it out, pasting it onto a brand new scrapbook page, with the header ‘ynie’s baking me cookies again,, hope they aren’t burnt this time hehe’. he’d shade the drawing in with mismatched colour-pencil brands, and a drying black marker, hoping that he wouldn’t mess the entire thing up by taking the bold move. and of course, a storybook replaced by a scrapbook for storytelling :)

when he writes you love letters. jungwon would drop in handwritten letters ever so often, leaving them on your desk, or under your pillow — it’d be an entire treasure hunt really,, which jungwon liked because it made everything more interesting! … and maybe because he didn’t want you to wind up reading the sweet note in front of him,,, he’d probably shrivel up from all the corny jokes he’d chosen to include. but of course,,, “ahem ahem, to my little burri—“ “OH MY— bubb :(( i said to read it when you’re alone!”

riki

when he learns your hobbies. there had been several occasions when you’d share your updates on a project in progress, or even proudly mention the improvement you’d managed to make,, but riki found it upsetting that he couldn’t fully comprehend those complicated and baffling terms — he really wanted to say something of relevance to the topic, but he was absolutely clueless. so, he’d make the choice to learn the works of your hobbies, wanting you to open up more about your veiled passions ^^ while filling him in about what you’d done, he’d suddenly blurt out a complex word, explaining it in as great of a way possible (especially with his limited knowledge). “woah… how did you…?” “what can i say, i’m super awesome, cool, good-looking, AND a genius. boom.” no, but he’d genuinely be fascinated by your hobbies, and might even start taking them up as fun pastimes! (receiving your help too keke)

when he accompanies you to concerts. the troubles and frustrations of purchasing concert tickets, either online or offline, are mostly common — the website crashes, a code doesn’t work, payment’s not going through the system, having to stand under the scorching sun; but thankfully for you, riki would be there to support you, trying his best to land desired seats ^^ “OH MY GOD I GOT THEM BABE!!!” “—huh?! ARE YOU FOR REAL?????” ,,, and of course, he’d tag along, given the fact that he likes the artist as well! once at the venue, he’d probably be super confused seeing masses of people move at different directions, but he’d make it a priority to shield you from the crowd, worried if you’d get pushed away with them. when the concert starts, riki would most likely jam out to the music, and might even yell out lyrics with you, large smiles adorning his delicate features :)

when he teaches you how to dance. riki loves dancing, and is insanely talented at it as well — his technique, his flow, his body control, they were all heavily commendable ^^ after hearing you chat about “wanting to attend a dance class”, he’d immediately jump up from the bed, the action looking unusually animated. “i was waiting for the day you’d say this,,, mura’s 25/8 dance studio is open~!!” and you’d just stare at him, a glint of startle clouding your orbs. he’d go through the basics with you, starting off with simpler moves — and somehow, you’d still manage to stumble… holding an arm out, or gently grabbing your shoulder, he’d help you steady your balance, acting more like a supportive railing. and when you’d get the short routines perfectly right, he’d start cheering, and would abruptly begin billy-bouncing, little “aye”s falling from his lips. but all silliness aside, he’d grin so widely, to the point where his jaw would start to ache — he loved that you two shared a similar passion for dance ^^ (and he’d definitely teach you more complicated choreographies,,, and maybe you two could film dance cover videos together? hehe)

when he pats your head. this could be for two different reasons — as a playful way to tease you, or as a loving, affectionate gesture. there was one thing for sure though — that unfortunately, riki was blessed with the height of a streetlight (okay, not that exaggerated, but still..). it wasn't like you were short,,, it was just that he was way taller! when complaining to him about the disappearance of your donut, which you had specifically kept in the fridge with a large post-it stuck to it, he'd flash a sheepish smile, outstretching his arm to give you a pat on the head, slightly ruffling the top of your hair. "i KNEW yo— uh..." "hehe, you're so cute, dumpling." not the right moment, riki >:( or, he'd pat your head as a means to congratulate you, to signify that he was proud of your achievements and success — kind of like a “woahh, that’s my girlfriend everyone!! yep yep, i’m her boyfriend!" type of manner.

when he holds your hand. riki loves your hands — they looked so delicate, and fit perfectly with his! ^^ he claimed that it was "destiny", and that he must've been fated to meet you. sometimes, you’d tease him for it, wiggling your fingers to break free from the interlocked hold, before stuffing them into the side-pockets of your pants. a large frown would play on his lips, followed by an incoherent noise, and the cross of his arms. “hmph—! fine, i guess you don’t fancy your boyfriend’s affection :(“ you’d instantly protest, words of reassurance spilling out of your mouth. “huh?? NO NO i didn’t mean it in that way..!!” you’d raise your hand up, shaking it furiously to contradict your previous actions. he’d glance over at you, before unfolding his arms to resume the lovely hand-holding. in all seriousness, you loved intertwining fingers with riki — it gave you a sense of warmth and familiarity that you wouldn’t trade for the world.

taglist open! @wondipity @yjjungwon @shysakuno

[wiserodin032402]

Kobeni from Chainsaw Man is a D&D Fighter

Okay yeah crazy people make dumb shit in D&D all the fuckin’ time, you can just say what the fuck on the internet. Some idiot made an article on how to play Cyberpunk Edgerunners characters in D&D what’s the big deal?

The big deal is that the D&D Fighter isn’t really...well represented in actual fiction. Controversial take, I know, but most uh...most mundane characters in fiction don’t really fit the bill of ‘Only good at combat but in a mostly superficial way that’s completely outclassed by the real shit of the setting’.

They’re not this:

This unique blend of...hell on earth that just isn’t present in actual fiction. One could say completely fucking unplayable. For those not in the know, this is D&D 3.5′s iteration of Fighter. For those who play 5e, this is basically the widely-mocked Champion Fighter subclass.

They’re proficient with all simple weapons, all martial weapons, all armor, and all shields including tower shields. They also have the following class skills: Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Handle Animal (Cha), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Ride (Dex), and Swim (Str)...with a grand total of 2 + Intelligence bonus skill points per level. That’s right, if you’re a Fighter of Average intelligence, you get to be okay in...2 skills.

And their saves are atrocious. If something even slightly scary shows up, the average Fighter is shitting themselves and running for the fucking hills.

This is obviously wildly fucking unrepresentative of any character in fantasy fiction. Too many demonstrate the ability to do more than just fight, and the characters who are famous for focusing on fighting are in series where being good at fighting means you can cut mountains in half or blow up the moon. And they’re all so...brave. Immune to fear even.

Enter God’s Chosen Failwoman

She’s a Public Safety Devil Hunter from the hit manga Chainsaw Man. She does this because her family made her, and it was either killing devils or prostitution.

Kobeni is a massive coward and in the first arc she’s introduced in with The Eternity Devil, she’s all too willing to simply kill Denji and give his heart up. When something scary is happening, Kobeni is the first to coward out.

Kobeni also isn’t very skilled. She quits public safety to go work fast food, and she can barely do that. Fast Food, considered entry-level work in this hellish economy due to how easy it is to teach someone to do it.

And yet, something curious.

When it comes to completely normal, completely mundane, completely comprehensible violence, Kobeni is unphased, and is insanely good at it. Sure, her partner got shot, but her reaction was to simply kill the shooter

and then go find the perpetrators

And when confronted by a frankly mundane demon attack, it doesn’t even touch her:

She’s also good enough with that knife, which for all intents and purposes is a completely mundane kitchen knife to slice clean through bone:

It’s groundbreaking. I’ve searched far and wide, but I’ve never found a character in fiction who perfectly lines up with everything that D&D 3.5 and even core Pathfinder 1e Fighter sets out to emulate. Someone who’s only good at violence, who’s insanely good with only one weapon, but can never break out of being completely mundane with their violence. Who, no matter how strong they get, how hard they work, is only human, with entirely human limits.

Here’s how you build Kobeni.

You need a high Strength and Dex. You need to be a Human. You need Weapon Finesse. You need to take Weapon Focus and Weapon Specialization, the full featline, with whatever knife of your choice (Weapon Focus, Weapon Specialization, Greater Weapon Focus, Greater Weapon Specialization, Melee Weapon Mastery). Take Lighting Reflexes. Take Light Armor Specialization.

Hell, if you want to more closely emulate how Kobeni functions, take the Combat Focus featline, which puts you into a sort of battle trance once you make a successful attack that lasts for about 10 rounds, which gives a bonus to will saves and other effects. Effects you can only get in Combat.

And guess what? You’ll be getting the genuine Kobeni experience. Being only good at completely mundane violence in a world that dramatically ramps up in stakes and moves past you.

[foone]

So Warframe added a "Pom-2" Alternate 1999 computer (that's needed for weird void magic future science wizardry). Thoughts?

Only thing I have that's a sort of question mark is that I don't know of many setups that would have needed a 5 1/4" floppy in 99 (or why it has both the tower and the under monitor unit)

ugh. OKAY, so... the tower and desktop combination is just weird. I have, on one occasion, run a "server" that was two towers, and the original PC supported a DUAL-DESKTOP mode, but both types together? nonsense.

dual monitor was rare but possible in 1999 (win98 added native support), so I think the best interpretation here is that this is actually two computers. maybe the one on the left is missing the keyboard and mouse because it's being used as some kind of server for the other computer? I used a little case like that to run my first linux server, which was also acting as a router for my internal network.

The OS is weird. The icons above the menu-bar look like win98, the dialog box is windows 3.x, the menu-bar icons on the bottom are pure os X (although they remind me of like a web-TV kinda system, like hotkeys for email/internet/etc), but the greyscale is very classic mac system. Actually it kinda reminds me of C64's GEOS, but GEOS was very classic-mac.

Like most CRT-filters, they turned the scanlines up WAY TOO HIGH. No CRT I've ever seen looked that fucking terrible. The monitor buttons are a bit odd: You didn't get monitors with buttons on the front until long after they were all color... but maybe it's a color monitor that's showing a monochrome OS?

as for the floppies: yeah. There are multiple mistakes here.

5.25" in 1999 is just silly. If you still had 5.25" disk drives in 1999, you were intentionally doing some retrocomputing stuff. For reference, around 2001 my PC repair job would specifically ask me to copy data off 5.25" disks, because they didn't have any 5.25" drives anymore, and I was their only tech who did.

The other mistake is that they have THREE floppy drives. so the PC doesn't really support that, natively? You can do some tricks and make it work (The youtuber Tech Tangents did a video on how it could be done), but realistically two was the normal max.

The final mistake is that all the drive activity lights are on. Those are only supposed to be on while the drive is reading or writing... and I don't see any disks in those drives! Let alone a situation that would involve turning all three on at once (I don't think that's even possible on most floppy controllers!)

In fact, the main time you'd end up with the drive lights stuck on like that is when you've installed the drive cable upside down. That ends up with them getting stuck on and non-functional. So this computer looks, to me, like it was put together incorrectly and no one noticed.

I don't believe that font would be on a black & white retro computer. Nope. Too smooth and too big.

There's also a USB icon on that OS: I don't think there's ever been a monochrome OS that supported OS, and looking at that computer case I don't believe that it has USB. Maybe the tower would, but the desktop? no.

That keyboard is off a Gateway 2000 computer. Something like this:

[nichirinpen]

DILF for Hire

TojixReader

Can also be read here on Ao3

Synopsis- You hired a stranger to accompany you to an event your Ex is attending. One thing leads to another and the next thing you know he's come home with you.

Content Warning- AFAB reader descriptions, Smut, cunnilingus, Edging, vaginal penetration

~Minors DNI~

You knew it was risky using an app to find a date. There were all those horror stories about  'ChadsList'  and weirdos who kidnapped women or killed them. You hadn’t wanted to use a dating app for obvious reasons, one unsolicited dick pic was enough to have you delete them forever. But this new app that had taken the world by storm seemed reputable. At least to you it did.  Called "  Don’t Sweat It " it touted itself as a reliable and safe network that did everything right. 

Background checks? They did it. Social media checks? Also done. Hell to even sign up to the app you had to provide your driver's license and wait a month to hear back. But you got it and got in. The level of security you knew other users had to go through put you at ease. 

Maybe too much at ease. Looking at the man looming over you, the thick scar near his mouth, the way his lips curled as if he were annoyed. Perhaps it was just as bad as internet rumors said. 

"You're  Name . Right?" His voice was deep, the tone of annoyance sending a shiver down your spine. The man was tall, so tall he was half titled to look down at you as he waited. You nodded stiffly, looking at the app confirmation that sat cheerfully on your phone. The clean shaven smiling man in the photo was for sure him.

"You're Toji?" Your voice came out as a squeak, the words half strangled. Clearing your throat you blushed, looking back down at the app. It was indeed Toji, he looked exactly like the photo on his ad space. 

That's how the app worked. They knew people wanted a reputable site for odd jobs and requests so one was built.  Part of it functioned for the buying and selling of goods, the other half for finding someone to fulfill a request. Need a babysitter for a night, they had hundreds. Need someone to take grandpa to the doctor? Pick your driver. And for you, sadly, you had entered a search for a companion. Specifically one who would go to a company party with you and play boyfriend for a few hours. After scrolling past people who were definitely way too young to use the app, you had found Toji. Profile had stated he was a single dad, 34. The ad in question, " Anything goes ".

You sincerely hoped not. More so for his sake and his kid. Toji looked like he could crush someone with his bare hands but you still found the ad a tad reckless. 

"So what's the plan?" His gruff voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you blinked rapidly to clear your head. 

"Well. Tonight at 8 pm there's a company dinner I have to attend. Like I messaged earlier, I don't want to go alone." 

Toji nodded, leaning back against the glass display he was next to. The fake cakes glittered obnoxiously, their cheerful sign telling you to ‘ check out the third floor! ’ You waited nervously, glancing about the busy space. Being smart was one thing you had wanted to do, so the local mall had seemed like the best place to meet him. Shoppers bustled about the well lit stores, chatter over-layed the low music that seeped from the old speakers. It wasn’t as packed as it normally was but that suited you just fine. There were security cameras and other people if he tried anything.

"Is that why you're all dressed up?" His question sounded judgmental. You flushed, looking down at your dress and heels. The elegant black dress paired with your favorite black heels was a muted choice. You wanted to look good but not stand out. Even so. The neckline swooped low, your breast pushed up nicely by the built in bra. And the dress hugged your form, leaving rather little to the imagination. It had been custom tailored after all, a gift of sorts meant for another occasion. You bit your lip in frustration. It made you feel like a clown wearing it in the middle of a mall where kids bustled past, pizza in hand. 

"It is indeed." It was also why you had asked him to dress nice. Apparently Toji's interpretation was a tight black shirt and sweatpants. They complimented his form, but not at all what you had in mind. He looked like he was ready to go to the gym, not sit at a 5 star hotel bar and down liquor. 

"We need to get you a suit." Your words seemed to annoy the man slightly. His eyebrows twitching as if he were trying to suppress a nasty comeback. Toji simply nodded and gestured for you to lead the way.

You did so, wobbling slightly in the heels as you made your way across the mall to a suit shop. It was the oldest store in the mall, it's elderly owner, one you knew well unfortunately. As you made your way to his shop you glanced at your wrist watch.  6:58 pm . Would that be enough time? You hoped so.

The bell above the door signaled your entry, the little old man scurrying from the back with a huge smile on his face. Mr. Itadori looked tired, the lines on his face deep. You noted the lack of his grandson in the shop. Poor old man must be working overtime.

"Ms.  Name !!" How pleasant to see you again!" Mr. Itadori’s cheerful countenance made you feel guilty for some reason. The old man took your hands with a smile. His dry hands felt like cold paper against yours. Squeezing them gently you shot him a small smile.

"Picking up a suit for Gojo?" 

You shook your head slowly. "Uh no. Gojo is. Gojo bro..." You paused, finding the words stuck in your throat. The old man looked at you worriedly, his fluffy eyebrows pinching as he waited.

"I need a suit for my friend!" You went for the easy route, gesturing to Toji. Mr. Itadori shot you a look before turning and sizing up the tall man. Your companion towered over him, his face stoic.

"Silly Toji here forgot about the company dinner tonight. So we rushed over here!". The forced cheerfulness in your voice was so blatant. You winced, knowing you had no one here fooled. Just a little longer and you could be out of here. Away from the questions that lingered in Mr. Itadori’s gaze. He would never ask, he was far too polite, but you could see he knew exactly what you weren’t saying. And he pitied you for it. 

You waited as the old man took measurements and hummed over the fabric. He moved like lightning back and forth from one suit rack to the next. Toji watched impassively, his green eyes occasionally flicking over to where you sat. You hoped he would just quietly accept this and that the night would go over well. Paying 1,000 dollars for essentially a glorified escort was going to make a dent in your savings. Part of you was ashamed, the thought of using funds for such a stupid reason made you want to curl into a ball from embarrassment. But the part of you that was angry, hurt and betrayed, was stronger. 1,000 was a small price to pay if it would make Gojo Satoru jealous and maybe even hurt.

“I'm thinking we play off the black you are wearing dear.” You jumped slightly at Mr. Itadori’s voice. Nodding, you quickly focused, shoving the anger that had welled up back down. The small old man stood in front of Toji, holding a black suit with a dark red button up underneath. You tilted your head at the combo, but nodded. Mr. Itadori had been making suits for 60 years according to him. You were not about to question a master tradesman. Mr. Itadori quickly closed the curtains around the dressing area, scurrying over to you as you both waited. 

“He’s a nice looking fellow.” His statement had a question hidden under it. You hummed, deciding to not open that can of worms. Mr. Itadori hummed back, his keen eyes peering at you from under bushy eyebrows.

“I’ll never give him another discount on suits.” You turned at the words, frowning slightly. Mr. Itadori jerked his head towards the shop front, gesturing to nothing in particular.

“You’re a nice woman, Gojo was lucky you ever gave him the time of day.” Mr. Itadori’s brows were furrowed as he scowled up at the ceiling. He seemed genuinely disappointed in the other man. You smiled, patting his hand gently. “You don’t have to change your business up because of me. I know he’s one of your top clients.” 

Mr. Itadori grumbled, crossing his arms, “Well maybe I'll just stick him with a pin now and then.” 

You laughed at that, shaking your head at the old man. He seemed pleased by your reaction, his expression clearing into a cheerful grin. Both of you turned in surprise as the curtain was roughly shoved back, revealing Toji fully dressed. The suit looked good on him, really good. You weren’t sure if it was just him or if Mr. Itadori was that good at his job. The black fabric clung in all the right places, emphasizing the muscles that sat tense beneath. 

“Hmmm which tie.” Mr. Itadori held up a few, all of which Toji brushed away. 

“This is good.” He unhooked the first 3 buttons of his shirt, exposing his collarbone and neck. You pretended not to see, turning to Mr. Itadori and digging through your clutch. Pulling your debit card from its spot, you handed it over with reluctance. A new suit was not on your list of monthly expenses. But hey you had come this far right? 

“Ah, no.” You nearly jumped out of your skin as Toji pressed against you, the hard plane of his chest snug against your shoulder. The man knocked your hand from its outstretched position, offering up his card instead. Your eyebrows raised at that and you looked up questioningly. Toji said nothing, his nostrils flaring slightly as he looked at you.

No, not quite. You felt your cheeks and neck flush, he was very blatantly staring down your dress. The angle from his height gave him a nice view of the tops of your breasts and the hidden skin of your sternum that the dress was covering. Pretending not to notice you shifted, tucking your debit card away in your clutch. 

After paying you hurriedly left the store, your watch said  7:20 . That was the perfect amount of time to get a cab to the venue. You wobbled your way down the stairs to the first floor, hell bent on making it to the front doors. Toji followed behind slowly, his hand stuffed deep in his suit pockets. He seemed unbothered whereas you were all nerves. Your stomach clenched and you again began wondering if this was a bad idea. The quest for revenge or at least a small slice of it seemed to be paved with stupidity. You chewed at your bottom lip as you pulled up the cab app. It cheerfully asked for your destination which you input with slightly trembling fingers. Pushing through the front doors of the mall, you input your address and almost immediately got a ride confirmation. Thankfully there was one a block away and you sighed as you stood at the curb waiting. 

“So how bad did this guy fuck up?” Toji’s voice was low and even, his eyes roaming over your form as you turned to look at him. The question confused you for just a moment, but one look at his smug, almost cat-like smirk, you knew what he meant. Toji knew exactly why he was hired without you being forthcoming.

“Uh well.” You tapped your foot nervously against the sidewalk. The cab turned into the mall parking lot and you waited, not sure what to say. It skidded to a halt near you, the back doors unlatching. Toji opened your door for you, allowing you to slide in before he made his way around the other side. Once he was settled the cab was off, the driver quietly ignoring the two of you. With the divider in between, you knew that he couldn’t hear, not that it mattered. 

“We dated for 6 years.” You leaned back in the seat with a sigh, tilting your head to look up at Toji. The man nodded, his expression apathetic. 

“I bought this dress for an evening that was planned.” You paused, feeling that icy clench in your heart. It hurt to say these things out loud. You had barely acknowledged them the past few weeks, drowning your feelings with too much work and way too much pizza. But you had to confront them, that was the whole point of tonight. 

“Uh three weeks ago we were supposed to sit down and he was going to propose.” You looked away from the man, your gaze locked on your reflection in the window. Toji was reflected as well, his eyes skipping over your form as he waited. 

“Instead the day before I get a text. All it said was  ‘It’s over ’.” You clenched your fists, your fingernails biting into your palms as you thought of the message. Of the calls being denied and then eventually you being blocked. It was as if 6 years hadn’t happened. As if you were a stranger pestering him. No goodbye, no explanation. Just over.

“Sounds like a pretentious prick.” Toji huffed. You glanced at him, slightly surprised. The older man shrugged at you, his expression impassive. 

“He told you when he was going to propose?” The man shook his head, dark hair obscuring his eyes slightly. “Tacky.” 

You shrugged, looking down at your hands. Truth be told you had disliked the fact that he had told you, that it had been so planned out. But that was Gojo Satoru. He was the son of a successful CEO, his life wasn’t just handed to him but also meticulously planned out. Every last detail, including breaking up with you. Your stomach churned at the thought of seeing him. What was that saying? Don’t date coworkers. You were feeling the consequences of ignoring that big time. 

“It is what it is.” You sighed, glancing back out the window. A large rough hand was on your thigh, thick fingers squeezing gently. You jumped slightly, heat rushing through your veins as you stared at him. Toji shot you a smirk, fingers tightening again as he squeezed your thigh.

“Hey you paid me for the night. Let’s give the little bastard a good show eh?”

You laughed in surprise, one hand pressing against your mouth as a snort left you. Out of all the things he could say, all the reactions, this was different. Everyone else had given you sympathy mixed with a hint of  ‘I told you so  ’. It had infuriated you to no end the sorry and the looks that said that you should have seen this coming. Even worse, your mother making that face you knew meant ‘  What did you do wrong? ’. 

But Toji? The man had withdrawn his hand but his smirk stayed the same. He looked like he lived for fucking around with people. Your eyes went to his hand, now resting in his lap. Toji had nice hands, the skin was nicked with small scars here and there, but they were charming. In an odd way.

The cab lurched to a halt and you felt your heart drop. There was the hotel, in its shiny glory. Bright lights flashed outside, a small group of press loitering around the entrance. Of course they were. Gojo posed for the camera like no other high society figure. He reveled in it. You hated it, the flashing lights, the lewd questions. Always entertained by the white haired man but never you. Nothing was worse than being splashed across the front page of a tabloid. What had they called you? ‘ The Mouse.’  You grimaced, unbuckling your seat belt. 

Toji had already exited the car, yanking your door open and extending his hand. You raised an eyebrow as you stepped out, gently sliding your arm around his. Toji took the lead, his large shoulders easily punting a reporter aside as he made his way up the stairs. You kept your head ducked slightly, hoping that the unfamiliar man and your lack of flair would keep them disinterested.

“Hey, it's Ms. Mouse!” You flinched at the shout, your hand tightening on Toji’s arm. He looked down at you, taking in your pinched expression and tense body. From behind you could hear the reporter shouting again, the man’s greasy voice drawing the attention of the other reporters. 

God this was a nightmare. You should have never come out.

Your heart dropped as you felt Toji’s arm leaving yours. Was this too much? You hadn’t exactly been upfront with the man. The request was simply  ‘Need a date for a work event.’ . 

“What the fuck did you just call my girl?” Toji barked. You watched, flabbergasted as his large hand whipped out, grabbing the weasel looking reporter by the scruff of his jacket. Toji shook the man slightly, snapping the question again. The reporter looked mortified, his waxy face going pale as he stuttered excuses and apologies. Toji merely scoffed, shaking his head before letting the man go. You watched as the reporter fell on his ass, sliding a few steps down before he caught himself.

“Let’s go.” Toji placed his hand against your waist, guiding you up the last few steps. The doormen swung the heavy gilded doors in, bowing as the two of you entered. You flashed your work badge to the security detail, Mr. Panda. The large man smiled at you, his signature hair buns wiggling slightly as you were let into the event. It was packed, event staff and your company's many employees bustling about. You recognised a few faces here and there, but the place was so packed it was hard to get anyone’s attention. Not that you necessarily wanted to at the moment. No, the target of tonight's actions would suffice.

“Ms. Mouse.” Toji snatched a champagne glass from a nearby waiter, downing it in one gulp. You nodded at his words, feeling slightly awkward. He was a stranger and yet, he was being shown the most awful and anxiety-inducing parts of your life.

“You act more like a mink.” He shot you a smile, the words and action making your heart swell for some reason. You coughed, trying to think what to say. The skin of your ears burned slightly and you hoped he hadn’t noticed. Words failed you as you trailed to the large gilded bar. Sliding up to the counter, you signaled the bartender. The young woman flashed a smile nodding dutifully as you asked for a Bailey’s. 

“Irish liquor?” Toji leaned against the bar, not bothering to leave much space between the two of you. His hip pressed against yours, the warmth spreading across your skin. You nodded in response to his question, shoulders shrugging. As your drink was passed to you, you nearly spat it out as Toji asked for vodka, no ice. Shooting him a look, he merely smiled. 

“I like the strong stuff, puts hair on your chest.” 

You snorted in response, taking another sip of your drink, “Oh yeah you can attest to that?” The words were teasing, playful, but you could see Toji’s pupils dilate slightly at the words. He leaned in, one large finger playfully sliding down your right bicep. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Mink.”

You hummed in response, the lack of words more due to you attempting to regain composure. His teasing tone and finger had your stomach fluttering. A low heat pooling in your nethers as he slid the finger back up to your shoulder.

“Oh My God!” You both flinched at the loud squeal that rang out across the venue. It was so shrill the sound somehow was louder than the rest of the party. You knew that voice all too well, with a sinking heart, you turned, glancing over your shoulder at the commotion. It was Gojo of course, his new shiny pink haired fiance plastered to his side. She was the one squealing, her shiny skin and lips reflecting the party lights all too well.

“Jesus how much plastic is pumped into that bimbo?” Toji’s question made you chuckle. He wasn’t wrong, the woman looked like she was three surgeries away from being on one of those botched surgery shows. Not that it mattered to her, no being the heiress of a large makeup company meant she had little to worry about. Especially so with her future husband secured before any surgery could go wrong.

The squealing was apparently about jewelry, because of course it was. The man was laughing, his stupid suit sparkling slightly under the bright light. It made him look ethereal, as always. Gojo was larger than life, otherworldly looking. And he knew it.

Part of you felt incredibly insulted. Had you not been dumped by him, had you never dated him and this was just a regular work event? Incredibly uncomfortable and inappropriate. No one would stop him of course, Son of the CEO and all that. But you could see the discomfort rippling through the ground, the shared glances and small grimaces. 

You flinched as his gaze shifted, his fiance chattering away with one of her friends. Gojo’s icy blue eyes met yours, eyebrows lifting slightly. He was surprised you were here. You took a small step back as he started cutting across the crowd, your back hitting the bar.

“Can I touch you?” Toji’s odd question pulled you from your frozen state, you gaze lifting to his. The man was leaning awfully close, his warm breath tickling your forehead. His eyes crinkled in the corner and the grin he was wearing was definitely a shit eating one. Toji was up to something. 

Your gaze went back to Gojo, the man stopped by a few coworkers and blessedly still several feet away. His eyes kept flicking to you however, the blue you once loved making your stomach cramp with worry. Looking back at Toji, you nodded once, wondering what he was up to. It wasn’t like he had asked to touch you early on the stairs. 

Toji leaned in, one hand sliding around your waist while the other tugged your chin up, tilting your head towards his. You gasped in shock as his warm lips met yours. His tongue slid into your mouth, teeth clicking together slightly at the passion in which he kissed. Toji pressed against you, the hand at your waist sliding lower until he was grabbing a handful of your ass. It made your knees weak. His rough kiss was breathtaking, literally. You flushed, pulling away to catch your breath. 

Toji smirked, his eyes not on you but over your head. Without turning you knew he was staring down Gojo. Something very few people had the balls to do around here. 

“I am going to freshen up in the bathroom.” You stated shakily, your face tomato red. Also regain your composure, how many coworkers had just seen him grab your ass like that? 

Toji merely smirked at your words, downing his vodka in a single gulp. You scurried away, slipping down the back hall and into the ladies room. There was no makeup to fix, you had opted for a simple lip gloss. You dabbed a wet paper towel around your lips, taking off the excess gloss that had been smeared there. There was nothing to do about the bright red of your face, time would cool your flushed cheeks. You were tempted to splash cold water on your face, but that would lead to drippy mascara. 

Opting to not stress about it, you took a deep breath, puffing out your chest slightly as you fixed your dress. You looked good and you had successfully gotten in a little jab at Gojo. It wasn’t much, but it was as good as it was going to get. He was a spoiled rich boy, he would forget you and forget this moment in a matter of days.

Stepping from the bathroom, you started down the hall, back to the loud noise of the party. Your head felt slightly foggy still from the kiss, like Toji had somehow stolen your breath. Cheeks burning brighter, you felt your stomach tighten at the thought of his lips against yours again, his hands sliding over your skin.

“So who is the meathead?” You spun around, the train of thought broken. To your dismay the worst case scenario was playing out. Gojo, in his bright blue suit, stupid dark shades nestled in his hair, stood in the hall. Hands shoved deep in his pockets, he sauntered up to you. He was upset, despite his large grin. There were creases near his eyes, a slight twitch in the right corner of his mouth. Gojo was just barely keeping it together.

Toji had really gotten under his skin. You swallowed the urge to smirk, leaning against the hallway wall casually. Feigning disinterest, you gestured down the hall, back to the large crowd.

“You mean my date? Toji?”

Gojo nodded, “Yeah, since when have muscle heads been your type?” He was definitely irritated and as he took another step forward, you shrank back. The super angry part of you wanted to ask what was so great about his new bimbo fiance. But you didn’t have the heart. She wasn’t the one who broke your heart, she wasn’t the one who had ignored your texts and calls for answers. Just because she had chosen an unfortunate set of surgeries didn’t mean you could be nasty about her. It would make you no better than Gojo. 

“I'm surprised a guy like him even has a suit.” Gojo laughed, the sound slightly strangled. You took another step back, lips pulling in a straight line as you attempted to swallow the small pang of fear that bubbled up in your chest. Gojo was known for always getting his way, known for jealousy. You had seen it while dating him, the anger and stonewalling he would direct at you when someone dared glance at you the wrong way. As if the glances of strangers were your fault.

“Kinda soon after a breakup to let another man shove his tongue down your throat?” His voice was much too loud, a half yell that felt like it echoed around you.

“Says the man who dumped me for a heiress.” You snapped back, crossing your arms against your chest as you leaned back, trying to avoid his advancing pace. Your words irked him, his thin white eyebrows dancing slightly as he tried and failed to hide the snarl that flashed across his face.

“You know I was going to be nice.” Gojo laughed, brushing a hand through his hair roughly. His stupid small glasses were flung off, skittering across the floor behind him. The man paid no mind, leaning forward as he spoke. He looked almost manic and as he opened his mouth again you caught a whiff of alcohol. 

Just great. Drunk Gojo was a persistent asshole who would whine, yell and cry until he got his way.

“After Hillary and I got married, I was going to let you be my mistress.” He spoke with such sincerity it was laughable. You snorted, one hand coming up to cover your mouth as your brain tried and failed to think of a snappy response. 

“No thank you.” A simple answer, but your words upset him, the man swaying as he took another step forward. His brow crinkled and you could see tears glistening in the corners of his eyes. He would cry, then yell until finally you crumbled. Or at least that was what he was expecting. But you were no longer dating him, no longer giving him your heart on a silver platter.

“No one else is gonna give you what I can.” His words slurred slightly, a single tear sliding down his cheek. What he was giving you was the start of a migraine. But you had no time to respond, a warm hand sliding around your waist. It was Toji, glaring at the other man. You relaxed slightly, pressing against him with a small sigh. He was a stranger but still more welcome than the sniveling man that stood in front of you.

Gojo stood up straight, his jaw clenching as he took in the tall man. His blue eyes shifted back to you, once again shining with tears.

“Please, no one else can give you what you want. Just me.” Gojo’s lips trembled as he looked at you, his eyes begging you for an answer. Instead of tugging at your heart, it made you angry. You clenched your fists, trying to think of an appropriate response. 

“Full offense pal but you don’t strike me as the pussy eating type.” You let out a shriek of mixed shock and delight at Toji’s words. The man smirked at you, his fingers tightened slightly on your waist and you became painfully aware of just how warm he was. Gojo for his part was standing in shock, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

“Speaking of, let’s get outta here.” Toji laughed this time at your look of disbelief. You allowed him to shepard you away from Gojo, your face burning red at his words. Gojo was shouting something as you made your way to the front door, but you couldn’t hear it. Rather your mind didn’t bother to pick it up. You were too focused on Toji’s hand, it had slid back down to your ass, thick fingers squeezing the flesh gently as you walked. 

“Fuck that guy.” You nodded numbly at Toji’s words, blinking as he shoved something in your hands. It was your clutch, you must’ve forgotten it at the bar. You took it gratefully, fishing your phone out clumsy. 

“Your place?” Toji asked, his voice low. You blinked at him in surprise, your hands freezing mid air.  What did he mean?  You tilted your head, brow furrowing as you waited for him to elaborate. 

“I was serious.” He gestured back towards the hotel venue. Your frown deepened. Serious about what? 

“You look stressed, getting eaten out might relax you.” He spoke so matter of factly, no trace of teasing or sarcasm. His expression was genuine for the first time that night. You felt your mouth drop open as you sputtered, unsure of how to respond.  Was he serious? Part of you hoped so, the thought of his head between your legs, green eyes watching as his tongue lapped at your folds. It made your knees weak.

You shook your head, snapping yourself out of that train of thought. He was still a stranger. Toji waited, a small smirk on his lips as if he knew the internal battle you were having. Plucking your phone from your hands, he opened your messaging app. You watched as he clicked on your most frequent contact, Nobara. Toji lifted the phone slightly, snapping a selfie of the two of you. In it you looked slightly dumbfounded, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. He sent the photo, then handed the phone back to you.

“Now your best friend knows how I look.” 

This guy was too smooth. You bit your lip, looking down at your phone as you thought. To your place or not? As if to give you a nudge, Nobara responded.  ‘Please tell me you got a piece of that beef cake.’ 

You opened the Cab app, quickly typing in your address. Looking back up, you wiggled the phone at the man. He smiled, slipping his arm around your waist and escorting you down the stairs. There was no more press outside blessedly, they had either left or slipped into the venue uninvited. Looking up at the night sky, you chewed at your bottom lip, heart racing as you thought of what you were about to do. This was utterly unlike you. And yet, you found yourself incredibly thrilled. 

The cab arrived and as you sat in the back, you couldn’t help but bounce your leg. You could hear your heartbeat as the cab turned on familiar streets and made its way towards your apartment. Toji looked calm, leaning back against the seat as he watched you. His gaze was almost predatory, green eyes narrowed to slits. It made your heart skip a beat.

The cab stopped and for a moment you were frozen. Then you were out, walking shakily up the stairs to your apartment building. Your key card got you inside and then the two of you were making the long trek up to the 8th floor. The excitement waned slightly as you stumbled up a step, your heels catching on the metal stairs. 

“Which floor?” You looked up at his question, wiggling your heel from the stupid gap between the metal slats. Toji motioned up the stairs, wordlessly asking his question again.

“Oh! 8th Floor.” He nodded, then swooped in, lifting you with ease. You squawked in surprise, the hard planes of his shoulder digging into your stomach. Toji bolted up the stairs, easily clearing the long trek in a matter of moments. You stared, impressed as he set you down. The man wasn’t even winded. He seemed to know what you were thinking, flexing his chest, the buttons of the suit visibly strained, just barely keeping together.

Your hands trembled slightly as you swiped your key-card again, your heart pounding so hard you could hear it. The thrill of doing something like this was making you dizzy with excitement. Opening the door, you tiptoed past your two neighbors to your apartment at the very end of the hall. The door creaked as you opened it and slipped inside. Toji followed, his eyes roaming around your rather messy apartment. You felt a twinge of embarrassment, the pile of clothing near the door was meant for donation, yet you hadn’t had the time or the heart to take them away just yet. Nearly everything in that pile was gifted by Gojo or something he had mentioned as his favorite. It was a sad reminder of the past, one you wished never happened.

Kicking off your heels, you crouched, rubbing at your feet. The shoes while amazing looking pinched your toes way too much. You wiggled the appendages as blood rushed back into your pinky toes. 

“Did you pick this or him?” Toji’s voice sounded judgmental and as you turned to look you felt your face heating up again. He had plucked the light blue lace lingerie that had been sitting on the top of the pile. Shaking your head, you stood and snatched it from him. 

“Him.” You tossed the garment back on the pile, your shoulders slightly tense. It was hitting you again that Toji was a complete stranger. You felt nervous, fingers twisting together slightly as you stared up at him. 

“What do you prefer?” Toji leaned in as he asked the question, his eyes narrowed to slits. He was teasing you, his pupils dilating as he took in your look of questioning surprise.

“Honestly?” You picked at the fabric of your dress, unsure of where to look but not wanting to meet his intense gaze. “Nothing. No fancy lace, no leather or anything like that.” 

Toji smiled at that, nodding. He didn’t comment on your opinion as you expected. Most men did, asking why you didn’t feel sexy or what was wrong with looking good. You thought you did look good, no wrappings or decoration needed. 

“So. We’re doing this?” You gestured lamely towards your bedroom. The open door showing your black comforter and the closed blinds beyond. Toji shrugged, reaching up to undo his suit jacket buttons.

“Only if you want to. If not, I can leave.” His words hung in the air, green eyes locked on your face as he waited for your decision. You chewed at your bottom lip, gaze flicking between him and your bedroom. It wasn’t like you were drunk, quite the opposite you were fully lucid. And as odd as he was, Toji didn’t scare you, didn’t set off any alarms. In fact the only thing he set off was your arousal. The man had teased you already to the point of being wet. 

Taking his large hand in yours, you led him to the bedroom, closing the door behind you. The apartment complex was touted as being sound proof, but you still didn’t want your floor neighbors hearing anything. 

Turning back to him, you held your arms awkwardly to your sides, unsure of the next step. You had never had sex randomly with a stranger. It was always with a partner that you had been dating for a good amount of time. This was new and you were feeling slightly insecure. You shifted nervously, biting your lip as you tried to think of the first move.

Toji sat on the bed, shrugging his suit jacket off and tossing it on the floor. You watched, slightly mesmerized as he rolled up his sleeves. His muscles rolled under the tight shirt, their outlines tantalizing beneath the red fabric. Toji caught your glance, smirking slightly as he shifted his leg, spreading them open as he patted his thigh.

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, head tilting as you watched him pat his thigh again. Slowly, you shuffled over, face burning as you sat on his right thigh.

“What do you like?” His question had you pause, eyes searching his face as you pondered. Had any of your previous partners ever asked you that before? You didn’t think so.

Cheeks burning, you ducked your head slightly, eyes locked on your hands which sat limply in your lap. Toji’s chest was warm against your side, his large hand resting against your waist gently. You shivered as his lips brushed against the skin of your neck, the sensation exhilarating. He bit the skin gently, your heart rate picking up at the action.

“Im not sure.” You answered honestly. Gojo hadn’t been the best of partners, despite 6 years together you could easily count the few amount of times he had made you orgasm on your hands. He had been very selfish in the bedroom, often leaving you feeling like a glorified sex doll rather than a partner. Before him had been partners as inexperienced as you, awkward fumbling, not quite figuring things out. You had yet to be with anyone who was experienced. The thought had you blushing deeper, more so from embarrassment at the unspoken revelation.

“Can I take the lead then?” Toji nibbled at your ear, his grip on your waist tightening. You nodded slowly, your heart rate picking up again as a shiver ran down your spine. His hand slid to the zipper at the back of your dress, fingers quickly tugging it down. You shivered as the dress opened, the warmth it had been holding being replaced by cool air. 

Toji’s large hand moved to your back, fingers pressing against your spine as he drew his hand downwards. You sat, eyes wide and lips slightly parted as you waited for his next move. His eyes weren’t on you, not quite. Toji was focused on your skin, his lips moving so softly against your shoulder that it tickled. 

The man had come off earlier as impatient and slightly crass. But now he was moving achingly slow. He smirked at his expression and you felt your face flush deeper. Toji was doing this on purpose, he was teasing you. 

“No bra?” His thick fingers tugged at the back of the dress, the fabric quickly sliding down to your waist. You shivered, goosebumps cropping up as the cool air hit your chest. Nipples standing on end, you let out a small sigh as you shook your head. “Built into the dress.” 

Toji hummed at this, his eyes locked onto your breasts. If you didn’t know any better you would think this was his first time seeing a pair. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated. A puff of air left his lips and you laughed, deciding to tease him back.

“So you’re a boob man huh?” Your words set forth a flurry of motion. Toji’s movements were so fast and fluid you barely had time to register the fact that he had indeed moved until you were on your back on the bed. Your mouth dropped open, heart racing as you stared up at the man crouch on top of you.

“I am an everything man.” Toji practically purred, his voice so low you almost didn’t hear it. Part of you wanted to laugh at the words, but he spoke with such conviction all you could do was nod, lips parting as you stared up at him. You shivered as he shifted, tugging your dress from your hips and tossing it aside. Both of you paused, you from embarrassment, Toji looking near feral. With how tight the dress had been, wearing underwear really wasn’t an option. You pressed your thighs together, your face burning as you looked away, not wanting to look at Toji.

The older man laughed, licking his lips as he straightened. His fingers deftly undid the buttons on his shirt, the red fabric flying to the far corner of your bedroom. The white undershirt quickly followed, leaving his chest exposed. You swallowed at the sight. 

Beefcake indeed. Toji was built, his broad shoulders and chest complimented by his rather slender looking waist. Scars littered his skin, the small marks scattered about wildly. His muscles rippled beneath his skin, making you wonder just how he worked out to be that in shape.

‘Triangle Shaped’ Popped into your mind and you giggled. Toji squinted at the noise, his belt half undone. You bit your bottom lip, watching as the belt slowly slid from the pant loops. It too was tossed, the sharp noise of his zipper following the sound of the belt hitting your dresser. Bright green boxers made your eyebrow lift slightly and you stifled another giggle. Not at all what you had expected. 

Leaving just his boxers on, the nice suit pants quickly lay draped across the floor. Toji joined them, to his knees at the edge of your bed. You lifted yourself on your elbows to see him better, waiting for his next move.

“OH!” You gasped as he grabbed both of your ankles, tugging you to the very edge of the bed. His head was positioned right above your cunt, warm breath fanning across your skin. You shivered in excitement, eyes wide as you watched him.

Toji spread your legs, warm breath tickling the sensitive wet flesh of your pussy. You shivered again in his grip, the warm puffs of air feeling teasing as they slid over your skin. His grip shifted from your ankles, sliding tantalizingly slow down your calves, then thighs. He finally rested his thick fingers on your waist, pinning your legs in place on either side of his head. 

“You like teasing?” Your question was slightly shaky, your heart beat making your lungs feel breathless and head hazy. Toji smirked, nodding as he licked his lips. His dark hair obscured his eyes slightly, the green hue of his pupils nearly hidden beneath the dark curtain. It was like being stared at by a hungry predator. You wanted to urge him to start, to stop staring so intensely, but your words sat trapped in your chest. The anticipation was too thrilling, your body angled towards him as you waited, breathless. 

Toji bent his head, lips gently caressing your inner thigh. The touch was barely there, each one butterfly light as he trailed down to the apex of your thighs. A strand of dark hair tickled against your other thigh, the sensation matching his infuriated soft kisses. You squirmed slightly in his touch, stilling as his hands tightened their hold. Toji paused, looking at you through his lashes.

“Be still darling.” You nodded, suppressing the shiver that ran down your spine. The man smiled at you, his grin sharp and catlike. 

“Good girl.” He pressed a kiss against your clit, sending a wave of pleasure deep through your core. You gasped, trying your best not to let your hips buck into his face. Toji chuckled, tongue sliding roughly across your clit. You moaned quietly, clamping a hand over your mouth as he dragged his tongue across your folds. His tongue was burning hot against your pussy, the warmth he radiating seeming to all spill out through his mouth. Your fingers tightened over your mouth, a strangled moan slipping out.

Toji bent forward, his nose rubbing against your clit as one hand slid up your side, tugging your elbow and pulling hand from your mouth. He wanted to hear you, a fact that had your face bright red.

His hand slid back down your side, rough fingertips teasing as he slid the hand up your thigh then down. You whined low as you felt a finger slide against your folds, the finger resting at your entrance. His lips were on your clit again, sucking harshly as the finger gently circled your entrance. You wiggled your hips slightly, breath coming in pants as he continued with the slow torturous pleasure. Toji chuckled again, the vibrations making you whine.

He pulled away from your clit with a pop, pressing his tongue flat against your folds as he slipped a finger inside you. The thick digit was met with slight resistance, your walls tightening around the finger slightly. 

You shivered as Toji began pumping his finger achingly slow, the pleasure a dull burning in your stomach. He ran his tongue up your pussy, laving at your clit before turning suddenly and biting the inside of your thigh. You yelped in surprise, hips bucking up in response.

The action shoved his finger deeper, your walls fluttering slightly as his finger scraped against the sensitive flesh. 

Toji slipped in a second finger, the action stretching you. He chuckled at your red face and the short panting breaths you let you. The man was reveling in teasing you. He spread his fingers wide, the ache of feeling overly stretched starting up. You let out a whine, hips moving as he began rhythmically pumping his fingers. His rough skin felt heavenly, the friction building the tight heat coiling in your abdomen. Toji hadn’t broken his intense gaze, his eyes drinking in your gentle writhing as he pushed his thick fingers in deeper with each stroke. It was erotic in an odd way, you liked how he looked at you.

Toji’s teeth scraped over your clit, the action sending you over the edge. You gasped as you came, your walls spasming around his still pumping fingers. 

Toji pulled back, letting your legs dangle limply over the edge of the bed. He smirked as he licked his fingers clean, eyes crinkling with amusement as he took in your relaxed form.

“Feeling better?” Toji teased, nudging your leg with his knee. You nodded, it had been a while since you had orgasmed. Toji smirked, turning and grabbing his slacks from the ground. You sat up, confused as he started tugging his pants on.

“You’re leaving?” You tilted your head as you asked, brow furrowing. Toji paused, one eyebrow raising as he looked at you. 

“I said I’d eat you out and I did.” 

You nodded slowly, gesturing with one hand to his very tented boxers. “What about you?” 

He narrowed his eyes slightly, glancing down briefly before back up at you. “I didn’t want to impose. I'm not a horny teen, I’m not pushy with women I barely know.” 

You blushed at his words, they rang true. He was right, you were just strangers. Still, you felt the heat in your stomach coiling again, not quite wanting the night to end. “Well, I wouldn’t mind.” You bit your lip as you spoke, “If you were a little pushy.” 

He stood for a moment, hands on the waist of his slacks as he decided. To your delight, the pants were dropped, Toji kicking them off with a grin.

“I can blow you?” You suggested, feeling slightly embarrassed to utter the words. Toji shook his head. “Gagging is a turn off.”

You opened your mouth to state you wouldn’t gag, and found yourself speechless as he dropped his boxers. Maybe you would gag, the man was thick, much thicker than you thought possible. What he lacked in length he made up for in girth. You shivered as he gave himself a quick pump, his thumb rubbing against the beads of precum that sat on the head.

“Ready?” Your nod of affirmation was jerky, your eyes locked on his cock. The man slid onto the bed and you wiggled backwards to give him room. He nestled between your legs, warm skin pressing against you. 

Toji grasped both of your thighs, pulling your hips up to meet his. You gasped as he entered you, eyes wide as you struggled to accept his length. Toji was surprisingly gentle, his hips still as he waited for your body to relax. You did so slowly, moaning as he pushed further in, the stretching of your overstimulated walls making you nearly cum again. Twisting your hands in the comforter beneath you to ground yourself, you mewled as he stretched your walls further.

“Almost there.” He grunted, teeth clenched in a partial snarl as he slid in another inch. His broad chest was flushed, large arms shaking slightly as he held still again. The sight was divine, Toji looked like he was holding himself back just barely. You shifted, canting your hips into his and allowing for the last bit of him to slide in. The man grunted in surprise, hands tightening their hold on your thighs.

The grip was intense and you knew you would have bruises the next day. You found yourself shivering at the thought, walls fluttering around his cock as you drank in the sensation. Never before had you had a partner like him in your bed. It was exhilarating. 

Toji drew back slightly, his thick cock rubbing against your walls as he pulled nearly all the way back. There was a small pause and then he was slamming back into you, the force mind numbing. 

You let out a long gasp, head lolling back as the tip of his cock hit your cervix. The mix of pain and pleasure added to the fire in your stomach and you matched his pace as Toji began thrusting into you. Toji spat out a curse, the word strangled. You shuddered as he leaned over, biting your calf. He was like a wild animal, the odd composure from earlier slipping away as he thrust into your wet heat.

You felt your release building again, each thrust pushing you closer and closer to a second release. Walls fluttering around him, you softly let out his name, hips canting to meet his. Toji tilted his head back at his name, eyes narrow slits as he took in your light panting and sweat soaked skin. 

He moved, again faster than you had time to comprehend. You cried out as he flipped you, still fully seated within your heat. You found yourself face down in the comforter, cunt aching as he pulled back and began thrusting again. Moaning into the blankets, you scrabbled to ground yourself, feeling his heavy weight pushing you further into the bed. His broad chest pressed against your back, pinning you in place as he continued his almost desperate thrusting. 

You felt one of his large hands slid beneath you, roughly grabbing your breast. Toji shifted slightly, putting his weight on one elbow, the other hand pulling your hips closer roughly.

“Where?” The question confused your pleasure-addled mind. You moaned in response, pushing your hips back into him. Your walls fluttered wildly as a smaller orgasm hit you. Toji groaned, head resting against your back as he continued his pace, thrusting through your orgasm. It was too much, tears of over stimulation leaking from the corners of your eyes. Your cunt ached, each thrust scrapping harder and harder against your cervix.

“Where little mink?” His voice was strained, words coming out in a gasp. The fog in your mind cleared slightly and you pressed your hips against him. “Inside.” The word was whispered, barely audible, but Toji heard. 

The man’s grip on your hip tightened painfully, his thrusting becoming erratic and sloppy as he chased his release. You moved weakly with him, feeling as though your bones were made of jelly. Toji came suddenly, his teeth latching onto the skin of your back as he thrust his cock deep within your walls. You whined at the sensation, the warm feeling of being utterly filled was erotic.

For a moment the two of you lay, locked together. You quickly caught your breath, head pressing into the comforter as the urge to sleep washed over you. 

Toji rolled off of you, his limp cock slipping out. You shifted, rolling on your back to look at him. The man smirked at you, one large hand reaching out to pinch your nipples. You swatted at his hand, a laugh weakly leaving your lips.

“We should do this again.” Toji sat up, reaching to snag his boxers from the floor. You nodded quietly in response. It would be nice, maybe you could become something other than strangers.

“It’s late, so I need to get back.” He was standing now, reaching for the rest of his clothing. You sat up, feeling slightly dizzy as you watched him dress. Sluggishly you tugged on a bathrobe, ignoring the sensation of his cum sliding across your thighs. 

Walking Toji to the door, you paused, looking up at the man. He leaned down, pressing a kiss against your forehead. 

“If you don’t mind kids, you’re more than welcome to join me tomorrow morning for breakfast.” 

You raised an eyebrow at his offer, smiling in response. “I’d love that. Where should we meet?”

Toji smirked, opening the apartment door before turning to you. The look on his face was one of extreme amusement.

“How about the lobby?” You tilted your head, eyes narrowing at his teasing tone. Toji jerked his thumb to the stairwell that sat across the long hallway. “I live on the 5th floor. See you at 8?” 

Your mouth fell open and you nodded stupidly as the older man laughed. He leaned in again, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before sauntering down the hall. You watched him leave, rolling your eyes at his perfectly sculpted behind. The night had not really gone as planned. But you were just fine with that.

[loveandlegacy]

ngl i think there are a lot of cool/interesting things to say about the sex scene between jayce and mel, but i am not wild about justifying it by pointing to its plot relevance. its presence IS justified, i just think the furthering-the-plot argument is using the wrong framework to understand the function of sex in media at all and kind of belies a deeply conservative impulse about what sex is or does or what it's for in art. and like i don't really blame anyone for this. i think this attitude of 'well it has to be plot relevant to be present' particularly in film is born partly out of a reaction to a long history of film & tv having gross attitudes about women and very unpleasant assumptions about roles in sex.

in tv in particular, hbo comes to mind as having been the only prestige network for a really long time where nudity/semi-explicit sex was permissible. and like while it was/is permissible, a lot of hbo productions deploy sex in a way that feels deeply unimaginative and misogynistic. obviously hbo isn't the sole culprit. the whole concept of the male gaze was developed bc of film's treatment of women, and the games industry stacks on top of that by being so misogynistic in its sexualization of women that it feels like a joke. so i get why people balk at that — i do too — but these media properties and outlets shouldn't be the gold standard for sex in media anyway and the solution to them shouldn't be "well sex is only Allowed when it serves the very utilitarian and quasi-calvinist purpose of furthering the plot".

if nothing else, sex is an important part of life and connection for many people. including it in art to demonstrate or reflect that fact is ideally something normal, or could be if we in the united states could at least deconstruct our neuroses about sex. my one friend always says that sex in itself is a kind of character study, which is valuable regardless of how much it furthers the plot. you can even see this with jayce and mel! people joke a bunch about jayce being the little spoon and not to be like too annoyingly into close readings of a sex scene but the entire arc of his encounter with mel tells you a lot about both of them as people that arguably could not really be presented in any other context. mel initiates but she does so in a moment of vulnerability, right after talking about her family, a major pain point in her life (and not lol after she supposedly like...bamboozled him with Sexual Allure and alcohol or whatever people say). jayce follows her lead for a while (she kisses him first, he is happy to have her push him onto the bed) and eventually breaks from this pattern to go down on her, not to demand something for himself.

either this says something about him as a person or says something about gender and expectations for sexual courtship overall in the world of arcane. like in our world men who "submit" (lol) to women's sexual desires or who give primacy to a woman's sexual interest are still framed kind of as a joke in mainstream US culture even though 'mean mommy dommy' jokes abound on the internet. but is that also true in piltover & zaun? is jayce the exception to the rule or is he in keeping with the rule? we kind of don't know ironically bc we have no other information about in-world sex in the whole of season 1. even with the brothel, there are open-ended questions: is trading sex for money illegal? is it illegal in piltover but a weird grey-market activity in zaun? what kinds of sexual mores exist in piltover, zaun, or both, and what relationships to people have to them? vi describes the brothel as 'the one place where all the secrets are spilled' and that seems like it's in keeping with how civilian clients are about sex work irl in the united states but that's more or less all we have to work with.

i'm not saying arcane should seek to answer all these things or to deliver a complete taxonomy on in-world sex and sexuality. the story is dealing with other themes. it just seems strange to me to laud arcane for it's skill in efficient but well-textured worldbuilding and then to abjure the possibility of the presence of sex outside of plot-relevant reasons when sex would tell us as much about the world as the touch that smoking is a sign of power in the undercity.

if the concern is that somehow any non-plot-sex would be too gross in its treatment of women, i guess i would say that it was amanda overton who advocated for the sex scene in the first place, not alex yee or christian linke. so like why not trust that she may be capable of writing/directing further instances of sex without defaulting to something unpleasant?

and if the objection is "well i don't want to be made to feel horny in an otherwise non-horny experience" my answer would be that the point of sex in media can be communicative sometimes, not always titillating. going back to jayce and mel and character studies, i wasn't (and i don't think most people were?) suddenly horny during that scene. i thought the literal art direction was weird, but mostly what i took from the scene about these two characters was that their mode of relating to one another was actually very tender. it cemented that mel was falling in love with jayce, and that the we the audience were supposed to understand their sex as sweet, not particularly provocative or designed to fulfill an assumed sexual fantasy on our behalf.

but there's also no reason to assume that any two other characters in the story would have sex in that tenor, even if they were in love. there's no reason to assume that any two other characters might NOT have sweet sex outside the context of love. the only way we could know that is if it were to occur on screen, and getting a greater diversity of sex and sexual encounters on screen requires the audience to be open to sex not just as a normal part of life, but as a semiotic object in art that has value beyond driving the plot forward.

tl;dr it's nice that the sex in arcane had some greater impact on the plot mechanics, but i don't think that's the primary value of its presence and i'm glad it's there with or without it mattering to the plot. it's unlikely but i hope s2 can give us a fuller picture of how other characters relate to sex as well.