#how do you live with that i guess
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dockaspbrak · 1 year ago
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ah man so THATS why i like movies with the theme "just bc its doomed doesnt mean its worthless"
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cozylittleartblog · 11 months ago
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worst way to start my new year, thanks. i have a lot of things to say about these companies but i'm tired and just keeping it focused to the pin side of things for this one. do not ever buy pins from these companies, literally ALL of them are stolen from small artists like me. if you want to buy enamel pins, check out etsy, and artist's personal websites and shops! (though even Etsy has some bootleg pins that ship straight from china, so tread carefully…)
Every pin I've designed is, thus far, EXCLUSIVE to my etsy. if you find it anywhere else, it's been ripped off! and once these stupid bootlegs pop up, it's basically a never ending game of whack-a-mole trying to get them all taken down...
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bloobydabloob · 4 months ago
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Holy shit I love your Dirk interpretations, it's so true and I could talk about this shit forever. I feel like another part of his character that people seem to forget (along with Roxy for some reason) is that he's from the future in solitude in an apocalyptic wasteland. I just see that part of his character always removed which is disappointing because I feel like that's a pretty big part, especially regarding his themes around technology, his brother's theme of Time, his own isolation, and how he plays in the vastness of the universe and spacetime.
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Art I drew related to the subject because I like to respond to asks with art.
But absolutely. I certainly understand where the lack of discussion over his isolation + upbringing comes from, considering a majority of the fanbase that I have seen builds their ideas based on their own version of postcanon. I’m not entirely sure how that would be fixed, but certainly even in the somewhat recent past I would see a lot more content regarding his upbringing both literally and symbolically. I don’t have much to add regarding the things you’ve mentioned, because they just are what they are. Dirk being confined to a singular room left to him by a father figure he never met, in a future where the only other person left on the planet is someone he cannot pursue a relationship of because of himself, with purely 3 robots to keep him companion, one being an exact replica of his own brain who is *also* trapped inside a pair of glasses, is about as literal as it gets to me.
The contrast to me involving the flooded, organic world in comparison to the little speckle of Dirk’s apartment packed with the dude and his technics is not only a representation of his isolation and entrapment within himself, but also of his lack of control. I think his obsession with & themes of control are a direct product in the case of Dirk specifically *of* this kind of upbringing. His themes of technology are also related to his themes around control. So much of his character is actually revolved around this to me like so much. Dirk is so deeply disconnected from humanity in every way and so much of his character + symbolism is based around that.
It doesn’t even have to be about the symbolism or anything though. It’s just pretty *interesting* in the literal sense that he lives in the middle of the ocean in the future. There’s not only a lot to theorise on to do with his young life there, but on how it might affect him in the way he acts for the rest of his life. The latter part is probably what I see mentioned the most by people talking about Dirk regarding this, I’m surprised I don’t see more discussion on the former too though. I really ought to actually talk more about Homestuck stuff on here. I will do it myself.
Roxy & Dirk’s relationship is largely ignored though because there is a narrative a certain demographic spreads that Dirk resented and blamed Roxy for her interest in him, and thus too many people believe that their relationship was or would continue to be an abusive one. Realistically, I believe it’s important to acknowledge that the way Roxy treated Dirk regarding his homosexuality wasn’t right while still acknowledging the obvious amount of respect and admiration Dirk had for Roxy. I mean we have a huge piece of dialogue from their post trickster mode conversations on the quest beds from Dirk purely stating how he feels about Roxy that people completely ignore somehow. I think this usually happens to characters that are women though. I know everyone says it, but it is true. Jane gets the exact same treatment of boiling her down to solely her negative aspects. The things I see completely mischaracterising both of them are horrific.
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I mean how much more explicit can it get that their relationship is obviously very important to Dirk? But I digress. I think the best or I should say “most interesting” interpretations of their relationship usually come from DirkRoxy shippers actually.
I would be interested to hear about Dirk’s relation to his brother’s theme of time though. I don’t have any thoughts on this and I don’t recall ever hearing anyone talk about it before. If you or anyone else would be willing to enlighten me I’d be thrilled.
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cowardlykrow · 6 months ago
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Even a hero needs some hope
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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The whole "breasts shouldn't be politicized because the primary purpose of breasts is to feed babies!" can be a fine jumping-off point, but I really wish people thought deeper than that when we talk about the ways in which bodies are politicized and restricted.
Like, why's it that when we talk about breasts, they must have some Higher Purpose? It's true that breasts aren't inherently sexual, but they aren't valuable solely because they can potentially feed a baby. A human body doesn't have to serve a Higher Purpose in order for it to not be legislated against or policed, and I just wish people would remember it isn't always about babies, about other people, about anything else other than the people who have that body.
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fumifooms · 6 months ago
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Dad always said I was like him
Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui
^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown
When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.
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deoidesign · 2 months ago
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.
#was going to make a post about how much i hate that women aren't allowed to hate their oppressors but i decided to spin it into something#positive instead#this is supposed to be the feminist site that makes reddit mgtow piss their baby diapers so let's go back to despising men and not coddling#their feelings and let's dye our hair blue while we're at it#i am so tired of this new wave of guilt-tripping and gaslighting women who hate men and don't trust or want to be around them#i hate how we're made into villainesses or the problematic ones for not valuing them in our lives or for wanting to guard ourselves or be#safe from our oppressors#and i'm tired of people who don't know the first thing about feminism being like 'BUT THAT'S TERF RHETORIC WHAT ABOUT X MINORITY MEN'#guess what women can also be x minority that you're trying to protect the men of and we get to hate men too#trans women are included when i say women btw and trans men are included when i say men#if anyone has the right to hate men more than anybody else it's trans women esp trans lesbians because they put up with so much shit#from men that even cis women do not and they especially know how vile men are behind closed doors#so#terfs fuck off#radfems fuck off#and if anybody tries to make this post more appeasing to men or 'not all men's this post you are getting blocked and hit with a hammer#feminism#misogyny#sexism#patriarchy#tw men#tw rape#tw abuse#misandry#terfs dni#radfems dni#feminists need to go back to being scary and unpalatable for men none of this 'but some of them are good!' bullshit#men are entitled to nothing from us#and if you try to prove me wrong then you are just proving my point if you have nothing good to say then simply keep scrolling#ok? ok.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months ago
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Words Collide
[First] Prev <--> Next
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kacievvbbbb · 3 months ago
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You do get the sense that the fallout of Roger's death and the Roger pirates disbanding not so much traumatized Buggy and Shanks indifferent ways but instead generated such drastically different reactions to the trauma.
While the trauma of everything seemed to push Shanks into the future, always constantly waiting for something, putting plans on hold and then later in place, for this great moment, this great coming that he sees on the Horizon. For Buggy it rooted him firmly in the past keeping him trapped in this grief masquerading as anger.
While Roger's death forced Shanks to grow up fast, it kind of arrested Buggy's development keeping him stuck in those same feelings, rooted int that same place.
You get the sense that Buggy's whole east blue schtick is just one long overdue rebellious phase one big fuck you to Roger and his ideals. He's rebelling against Roger's principles. One of their rules was don't steal from innocent people and Buggy was keeping a whole town in poverty. If Roger and Luffy's pirating styles are diametrically opposed to someone like Blackbeard, who might be the most literal pirate in the entire series, then buggy is the parody of that Blackbeard piratism. He is playing up cruelty, being the most piratey pirate possible, hell he's literally a clown on a stage. It's all a show! It's his own special way of trying to "get back at Roger" of trying to discard everything Roger taught him for this overacted, over exaggerated clownish cruelty. Mentally he never left that execution square. He is still 15, alone and scared.
Hell he literally never left either, while I'm pretty sure Shanks' booked it out of the east blue as fast as he could, Buggy never lef, might have never left, if not for Luffy. It's part of why Luffy bothers him so much, he's just like Roger everything that Buggy is trying hard to forget and here comes this kid, whose never even met the Captain but is wearing his hat, shoving it right back in his face.
It makes sense that he never leaves the east blue till Luffy literally forces him out of it (fucking with Luffy gets him captured and imprisoned) and it makes sense that it's Luffy that literally breaks him out of prison, literally sets him free, and on the path to greatness that maybe he was always meant to achieve (even if he trips his way into it). This boy that is tragically so much like his old captain but so beautifully unabashedly himself, is what Buggy needs to start letting go off the past, to start trying to move forward.
Maybe that's why Buggy, at what could arguably be described as his lowest moment, gets the strength to free himself from his own self imprisonment, realizing that even back then he was locking himself away and pinning his own dreams on Shanks. And, maybe for the first time ever, Buggy really own his dream. He declares to his tormentors and his crew and the entire world that; actually He wants to find the one piece, him, as captain of his own crew, this crew, not just a part of someone else's. That's his dream and he's willing to turn the world upside down to do it.
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copias-juicebox · 11 months ago
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scusi?? 😳🥵 x
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perhaps-in-anotherdream · 6 months ago
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[CN] Li Zeyan’s Candlelight Date (Eng Translation)
⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 烛火之约, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡
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[Translation Under the Cut]
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Subbed Video】
youtube
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【Chapter 1】 
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After being stuck in traffic for over forty minutes on the way to the airport, I slam on the brakes once again, staring in despair at the unmoving stream of cars ahead. 
The weather outside is gloomy, the sky overcast with heavy dark clouds, and the wind howls through the crevices of the car windows. 
Even though the evening has barely fallen, the sky is already darkened completely. 
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MC: Feels like it’s gonna be pouring hard... 
MC: I don’t know if Li Zeyan’s flight has been affected. 
Just as I am about to look up the flight information, his call comes in. 
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LZY: I’ve arrived. 
MC: That’s great! It looks like there’s gonna be a heavy downpour outside, so thank goodness you landed on time. 
MC: On the downside, though, I’m stuck in traffic... 
LZY: Given the weather, I could guess that already. 
LZY: Don’t rush, safety first. Turn on your headlights and take your time. 
MC: Don’t worry, I promise to follow the traffic rules~ So, I must apologize to CEO Li and ask him to wait for me a little longer~ 
LZY: No worries, I’ll just take this time to think about what to make for Pudding. 
The day Li Zeyan is returning from his business trip also happens to be Pudding’s birthday, and we’ve planned to have a small celebration at home. 
As I picture Li Zeyan making a birthday cake for the little kitten, the corners of my lips involuntarily curl upwards. 
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MC: Pudding’s parents are so thoughtful! The little birthday boy is blessed with the luck of tasty treats today. 
MC: Rest assured, I’ll definitely get you to Pudding safely and in one piece. 
LZY: With a certain someone “braving the wind and waves” to come pick me up, I’m already luckier than those who can’t get a cab. 
MC: Hehe, this time it’s my turn to be the prince who cuts their way through thorns and thistles to rescue the sleeping princess! 
LZY: Well, it seems like I’ll have to wait a hundred years then.
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MC: ...you just told me to take my time. 
A soft chuckle transmits from the other end of the phone, and carried by the car’s stereo, it spreads through the entire space, giving me the illusion as if he is right next to me. 
LZY: It’s not contradictory. 
LZY: Even if it takes you a hundred years, I’ll still wait.
──────
[Tidbits]:  This conversation here is a reference to one of Li Zeyan’s earliest ASMRs, “Sleeping Beauty,” where LZY said in response to MC’s question that if he were the prince, he wouldn’t let the girl he loves wait a hundred years. Whereas, in the reverse scenario here, he tells you that if he were the sleeping princess and you the prince, he would gladly wait a hundred years (இдஇ; ) though, for a man who literally did wait 17+10000(*n) years for you— a hundred years is, well, still unbearable to think about ahah (ノಥ益ಥ) 
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 2】
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I park the car near the exit, and as soon as I look up, I see Li Zeyan walking towards me, dragging his suitcase. 
I immediately push open the car door and run up to him, throwing myself into his arms as hard as I can. Both his hands are occupied by luggage, and I collide against him so hard that he staggers back a few steps. 
His familiar scent wraps around me securely, instantly dispelling all the tension and fatigue from the road. I nuzzle against his chest contentedly, earning a soft chuckle from above my head. 
LZY: Why the lack of courtesy right off the bat?
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MC: I haven’t seen you for days, and I’ve made our big busy person wait so long. I can’t afford to be polite anymore. 
Li Zeyan smiles, lets go of the luggage, and draws me into his arms, lowering himself to rest his head on my shoulder. 
A soft sigh sounds next to my ear, and I sense how exhausted he is. I put aside my playful thoughts and stroke the back of his head. 
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MC: I hoped you could get some rest after getting off the plane, but I didn’t expect this weather… 
MC: I’ll head out earlier next time! 
LZY: You already got here much faster than I expected. 
LZY: Let’s go, there’s a birthday boy waiting at home. It’s raining hard outside; I’ll drive on the way back. 
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
As we head home, rain begins pouring down in torrents. Even with the wipers operating at their highest speed, the visibility only clears for a fleeting moment. 
Through the impenetrable curtain of rain, the emergency lights of nearby vehicles flicker faintly. The water pooling on the ground reflects the surroundings like mirrors, and the streets have transformed into an utterly bizarre kaleidoscopic labyrinth. 
I hold up my phone to record the scene outside the window when suddenly, a blinding flash of lightning splits the sky not far away, followed by a rolling thunder approaching from the distance, pressing closer and closer. 
I can’t help but shrink my neck and set my phone down. 
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MC: This weather is just ridiculous… I’m sure today’s Moments posts are gonna be flooded with candid shots of the rainstorm. 
LZY: A certain someone has made significant strides. 
LZY: A few years back, you would get so nervous in this kind of weather that you’d grab onto other people’s clothes. Now, you'd just make a fuss about it on Moments. 
MC: Huh? When did I grab onto your clothes? 
I turn my head to look at him with a puzzled expression. Li Zeyan glances at me, and before he can even speak, a smile creeps onto the corners of his lips. 
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LZY: That time when you asked me if I dared to like you. 
I freeze for a second, the familiar feeling of nervousness and anticipation surging to the forefront of my mind. 
Memories flood back along with the warmth of my cheeks, as I’m reminded of a similar night in the past mirroring this raging storm. 
The pitch-black darkness that descended after the power outage was so thick that one wouldn’t even be able to make out their own hand in front of them. I felt like danger, and the unknown would swallow me whole at any moment. But he was there with me, accompanying me for what felt like an eternity on that apocalyptic night. 
Back then, I felt like I couldn’t handle it on my own, so I wanted to cling to a straw, to hold onto this steady and exceptionally gentle person beside me. 
Snapping out of the reminiscence, I clear my throat to dispel my embarrassment. 
MC: Y-You don’t need to remember such things so clearly! 
MC: But come to think of it, ever since I met you, I don’t seem to have gotten rained on much. 
MC: Even if I forget my umbrella or can’t catch a ride, you always manage to “scoop” me up right on time. 
LZY: So, as a result, a certain someone has developed the bad habit of not checking the weather forecast before going out? 
MC: …It clearly taught me the good habit of how to “scoop” people up in crucial moments! 
The car stops at the intersection, waiting for the traffic light. Li Zeyan casts a glance my way, his lips curving into a smile as he strokes my head. 
LZY: Given that the person “scooping” me up is also the one I want to see, it does feel pretty good. 
His warm palm rests on my head for a moment before sliding down to my cheek with yearning. A small sense of satisfaction leaps in my heart, and I smile, poking his cheek. 
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MC: I think I can understand why the prince braves countless perils to reach the princess.
MC: For this moment right now, I’m willing to endure any hardship~
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[Tidbits]:  The call-back of the apocalyptic night is from one of Li Zeyan’s earliest dates, “Doomsday Date,” where MC asks him if he’d dare to like her and if he’d dare to be by her side even if doomsday arrived – and the rest, as they say, is history, quite literally in this case ahah~ (இдஇ; ) 
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 3】
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“Bzzz!” 
As I step through the doorway and flip the switch for the pendant lamp, to my surprise, the light flickers and then abruptly goes out. 
The inside of the house is instantly taken over by the dimness from outside the windows. Pudding, who was originally crouching at the door to welcome us, lets out a yelp and scurries under the table. 
My mind automatically starts concocting a horror movie scenario, and I immediately step back a few paces. 
MC: What did the power suddenly go out? It was perfectly fine before I left... 
My words are barely out of my mouth when a series of extremely bright streaks of lightning flash outside the window. 
The howling gale rattles the window frames, while the water pipes exposed to the downpour on the side of the building, pelted by large raindrops, are making peculiar noises. 
The continuous flashes of lightning project the wildly swaying shadows of the trees onto the floor, making the storm outside seem even more terrifying. 
Li Zeyan sighs and steps forward, taking hold of my hand that is frozen in mid-air. 
LZY: Are there any spare lights or flashlights in the house? 
MC: Yes, there are, in my room... 
While saying this, I clutch Li Zeyan’s arm and carefully start walking towards my room. A hand reaches out and pulls me into a familiar embrace. 
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LZY: Wasn’t a certain someone “scooping people up” pretty amazingly just now? Why are you so nervous now that we’re home? 
MC: ...I guess I’ve been overdoing it with the horror movies lately, and the after-effects are still a bit strong. 
I laugh awkwardly and, relying on the dim light of the flashlight, dig out a large, bulging bag from the storage box. 
MC: Rechargeable desk lamps, some decorative fairy lights, and lanterns. 
MC: They should work if we plug them into the power bank. 
LZY: ...That’s it? 
MC: They can provide light and serve as tools to set the ambiance. Isn’t that wonderful? 
Li Zeyan turns on a palm-sized rechargeable desk lamp and releases a small sigh. 
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LZY: In that case, the gift I brought you can also be included to make up the difference. 
MC: Huh? What gift? 
Li Zeyan rummages through his suitcase, takes out an exquisitely wrapped box, and gestures for me to open it. 
I lean in closer and find a very charming candle holder with a glass cover nestled inside. 
MC: It’s so beautiful! As expected, CEO Li’s eye for things can never go wrong. 
LZY: Simultaneously doing the job of adding flowers to the brocade and delivering charcoal in snowy weather一 it definitely seems to be maximizing its value.  
LZY: Come on, let’s go and light up all the lamps that we can use first. 
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
With me “lending a hand” by holding the flashlight through the entire process, dinner and Pudding’s salmon cake are soon prepared. 
Pudding, who had been hiding in the corner this entire time, also forgets his fear under the temptation of delectable food and begins prancing around again. 
After eating and drinking to our fill, I sit on the carpet with another small blanket, light a scented candle, and carefully set it in the candle holder Li Zeyan gifted me. 
Li Zeyan then casually plops down at the foot of the bed where I’m leaning, naturally stretching out his arm for me to use as a pillow. 
I look at Pudding grooming his fur not far away and can’t help but sigh with emotion. 
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MC: Time sure flies! Pudding has grown another year older. I wonder what progress he’ll make this year. 
LZY: He wasn’t very brave when he was younger, but now he, too, looks after the house on his own and appears to be fairly calm and composed. 
MC: Why did you use “too“? I suspect you’re insinuating something about someone else. 
LZY: Just stating facts. 
LZY: The way a certain someone acted when she walked into the house earlier didn’t exactly resemble the “prince“ who came to pick me up. 
I glance again at the flashes of lightning and thunder rolling outside again, scratching my cheek awkwardly. 
MC: The house just went dark all of a sudden; I wasn’t mentally prepared. 
LZY: What about now? 
LZY: Are you still scared? 
I turned sideways to watch him. The dancing candlelight paints his side profile in a warm glow, and the subtle fragrance of the scented candle melds into his calm gaze, making me gradually relax. 
I hug his arm and pull him into my arms, beaming a wide smile at him. 
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MC: I have my “fragrant princess“ in my arms now, and I fear neither getting swept by wind nor being battered by rain any longer. [3]
LZY: Are we sure about who’s in whose arms? 
MC: Does it really make a difference who’s in whose arms? 
Li Zeyan gives me a look that says “whatever you say,” and I smile victoriously at having my way before turning to glance at the pitch-black darkness outside the window.  
The small lights in the room are mirrored on the glass, reminiscent of stars, blurring into a cluster of halos by the unrelenting rain. 
Serenity and turmoil are separated by only a wall. I grasp his wrist and tilt my head, pillowing into his palm and nuzzling against it. 
MC: Luckily, you came back today. Otherwise, I would have definitely dragged you into “simmering a pot of telephone congee” with me all night long. [4]
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LZY: That wouldn’t have been too bad either. 
MC: Well, that’s true, but it would have made me seem like I haven’t grown at all... 
I raise my head and look into his slightly puzzled gaze, feeling a little embarrassed as I lower my voice. 
MC: I’m clearly not a child anymore, and many of the things I used to fear shouldn’t be a big deal now. 
MC: Yet when running into situations where I’m not entirely confident, I can’t help feeling a little afraid. 
MC: For instance, a pitch-dark empty house, not being able to find the kitten, and a thunderstorm that I don’t know when will end. 
MC: I still can’t seem to be like you, to be able to keep myself from thinking the worst regardless of the kind of situation I’m confronted with... 
I soliloquize in a whispered tone, and the palm I’m resting my head on suddenly moves. I look up, and my fingers are immediately swept up in a reassuring warmth.
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Li Zeyan is pillowing himself on my bolster, covered by a blanket that is clearly not big enough for him, creating for a rather comical scene. Yet, I find myself solely captivated by his extraordinarily serious gaze. 
He quietly watches me like this for some time before finally opening his mouth to respond. 
LZY: Then just be afraid. 
MC: ...Huh? 
LZY: Building courage doesn’t mean you should be absolutely fearless. 
LZY: If you have no reaction to the unknown and uncontrollable, that, on the contrary, is dangerous. 
LZY: For a dummy, knowing how to dodge in the right direction at a critical moment is also progress. 
He strokes the back of my hand meaningfully, and I clasp his fingers even more tightly in tacit understanding. 
In moments of fear and anxiety, I always want to hold onto something, to reassure myself that I’m not facing it alone. 
And this man in front of me, as fortune would have it, always happens to be within my reach, catching my insecurities and leading me along slowly. 
I think back to the first time I “grabbed onto” him, the gentleness in his tone that I had rarely seen, and I can’t help but laugh. 
MC: Well then, it seems I’ve been making progress since the first time I grabbed onto your clothes. 
LZY: Mm-hmm, it hasn’t been easy. 
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MC: But I can only advance a little bit at a time. I’ve kept you waiting for so long. 
The corners of his lips curl up slightly, and his eyes, sparkling with a smile, gently embrace me. 
LZY: This isn’t work; nobody is asking anything from you. 
LZY: If you’re afraid, just light up a lamp.
──────
[Tidbits]
[3] LI ZEYAN WRITERS!!! CRIES AT THE SACRIFICE I HAD TO MAKE AND HOW THE BEAUTY OF THE WORDPLAY JUST GETS LOST IN TRANSLATION HERE 😭 anywho, as you might’ve already noticed, “rescuing the sleeping princess“ theme and the “seeming“ role reversal has been one of the running themes of this date. The term used here is 软香 (lit. meaning soft fragrance), which is usually used to refer to the delicate scent of a woman or a woman in general and, in the context of the times, a palace beauty. The full term MC uses here is 软香在怀 (lit. meaning having ‘soft fragrance’ in one’s arms), which also conveys a deep emotional closeness, a sense of security and comfort as scent is something very sensitive. What the writing does here is kill three birds with one stone— (i) conveying MC’s “prince and princess role reversal“ quip, while also delivering the emotions of the candlelight monologue two sentences prior, i.e., (ii) the fragrance melding into his calm gaze, the vivid imagery of her sensitivity to his presence itself, (iii) the reassuring effect of his being. 
[4] I’m gonna cry; this is such an adorable expression haha 😭 the term MC uses here is “煲电话粥,” which really does mean “simmering telephone congee.” The idea of it is to have a marathon phone call with sb, but it’s more intimate— similar to how simmering sth can take a long time and porridge essentially is a comfort food 😂 
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 4】
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The night is dark, and the rain seems to have weakened a bit. I hug the blanket and squeeze onto the small bed with Li Zeyan. No matter in which position we lay down, most of our bodies are pressed against each other. 
I watch the person beside me becoming a part of the scene I’ve been familiar with since my childhood days, and for a long time, I find myself unwilling to close my eyes. 
MC: It feels so surreal to have you and Pudding together at my place. 
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MC: It’s like having guests at home, but at the same time, it feels like welcoming new members to the family. 
LZY: So, which one do you hope I am? 
MC: I’ve long regarded you as the latter in my heart, obviously. 
MC: However, this situation makes me seem like I’m not being a gracious host... 
MC: Having to deal with the bad weather is one thing, but who knew the electricity in the house would be unstable at a critical moment, and now my bed isn’t big enough either. 
I look up at the small pink pillow under Li Zeyan’s head and sigh softly. Li Zeyan, however, just smiles calmly and brushes aside the hair falling over my face. 
MC: Be careful when you roll over. If you’re afraid of falling off, just hug me a little tighter~ 
LZY: [i’m cRY at how he just plays along with you haha] It’s certainly something to be afraid of. 
Li Zeyan says this as he gets up to turn off the lights, and the room is plunged into darkness once again. 
I reach out my arms towards him and am immediately swept back into his arms. 
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MC: Thank you, CEO Li~ How about I repay you with a goodnight kiss? 
LZY: That’s it? 
MC: Then what else do you want? 
I blink my eyes at him, and suddenly, he lifts his hand to cover my sight. 
A soft warmth captures my lips, swallowing my confusion. 
He holds me too tightly in the square of his arms, and his broad palm accidentally presses on my nose, causing my already erratic breathing to become even more difficult to maintain. 
I punch him indignantly, and Li Zeyan finally moves his hand away, his fingers cradling my face. 
LZY: Didn’t you say you wanted to repay me? 
MC: T-This isn’t what I had in mind! 
LZY: Is this not good? 
His warm finger pads caress the side of my face in a back-and-forth motion, leaving me with no refuge to escape but to gaze into his smiling eyes. 
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LZY: Instead of letting your imagination run wild every time you’re scared, why not think about something that can put your mind at ease?  
LZY: For example, me. 
LZY: So, consider this as collecting a tip in advance to cover your memories.  
A soft chuckle drifts from above me, and he lifts my face again. With the last hint of light also overlaid, I close my eyes, welcoming this novel memory pertaining to the night’s darkness. 
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
The next morning, the sky finally clears up. 
The entire city looks as if it has taken a bath. Under the early morning sunlight, there are glittering lights refracted by water droplets everywhere. 
I summon every bit of my self-control and more to extract myself from Li Zeyan’s warm embrace and rise early to make breakfast. 
Originally, I planned to have him take the day off and recover from jet lag, but as soon as he gets out of bed, he receives a call from LFG, saying there is an urgent matter that needs to be dealt with in person. 
I watch as a certain someone at the dining table finishes his breakfast with a sullen look on his face and can’t help but burst into laughter. 
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MC: Who knew even CEO Li could show such a “rebellious” expression about having to work overtime. 
LZY: ...It’s just that I haven’t gotten over the jet lag yet.  
MC: Who told you not to sleep obediently last night? 
I stand up with a laugh before he can glare at me and push his suitcase to the door for him. Li Zeyan dons his coat, seems to hesitate for a moment, and then turns back to look at me. 
MC: What’s wrong? 
LZY: Nothing. 
MC: It doesn’t seem like you’ve left anything behind, have you? 
I look around to check while speaking, but I realize that Li Zeyan has kept his gaze trained on me, with no intention of searching for anything. 
I blink my eyes, and an adorable guess bubbles up in my heart. 
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MC: Could it be that... CEO Li is unwilling to leave? 
Li Zeyan grips the handle of the suitcase, averts his eyes, and smiles. 
LZY: Let Pudding stay at your place for one more day. 
MC: No worries, we’ll get along perfectly. 
He doesn’t give a direct answer to my question, so I take it as his tacit assent and continue along with his words. 
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LZY: He ate quite a lot last night, so feed him less cat food today. 
MC: Understood~ 
LZY: Be careful with the electricity today, and if you run into any issues, reach out to me right away. 
MC: Uh-huh, anything else you want to remind me of? 
I stare at him, smiling giddily. Li Zeyan opens his mouth, but in the end, he just displays a helpless expression and says nothing. 
The rare instance of not being able to find the words to say, the rare moments of being dumbstruck and not knowing how to reply, the rare scenario of dragging his feet about going to work... 
All of this shows that he is really unwilling to leave. 
I smile even happier and tiptoe up to lock my arms around his neck.  
Li Zeyan seems a bit puzzled, but he promptly supports my waist and arches an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue. 
MC: Hehe, consider this as a tip you’re paying in advance. 
MC: This way, whenever you feel overwhelmed in the future, you will think of only me. 
I mimic his words from last night, and even reach up to muss his hair. 
LZY: Little copycat. 
Li Zeyan seems to want to resist this “childish” act subconsciously, but his arms betray his honest feelings and draw me in even tighter. 
He looks at me with a silly smile on my face, about to say something when I suddenly feel a tickle on my ankle, as if something furry is rubbing against it. 
Just as I’m about to look down, my face is pinched by someone. 
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I’m compelled to raise my head and see the sunlight falling on Li Zeyan. 
The locks of hair hanging over his forehead and eyelashes are all bathed in dazzling, golden-bright luster. He reminds one of a big cat who has just woken up, making people irresistibly want to get closer to him. 
And he does exactly as I wished, taking the initiative to bring this warmth to me. 
The distance between us is reduced to zero, and I naturally close my eyes, welcoming this kiss infused with the warmth of the sunlight. 
Even if a person grows accustomed to the humidity of this city, they will still rejoice when the sky clears and the sunshine beams down. 
Even for those who can see the person they love every day and kiss them whenever they want, they will still find that any small separation feels too long. 
The meow of the kitten rises from our feet, as if it also wants to participate in this wordless goodbye. I gently bite Li Zeyan’s lips, and he, rather reluctantly, pulls back just a bit. 
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MC: Mr. Customer, you’re being too generous with your tip. 
With his eyes cast down, he continues to gaze at me, his breath still lingering at the edge of my lips. 
LZY: Because I’ve already fulfilled the conditions you set. 
LZY: Now that I’ve paid double the tip, I’m asking for an upgrade on the terms. 
He raises an eyebrow, as if he is genuinely negotiating with me. 
At such proximity, my mind is already a muddled mess, yet I still manage to capture the answer he desires from the look of yearning in his eyes. 
I strive to muster my willpower, rise on tiptoe, and kiss his lips again.
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MC: Then you must work diligently and clock out early... 
MC: And who knows, perhaps I’ll suddenly appear when you’re missing me?
──────────────────────────────────────────
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toubledrouble · 8 months ago
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You know what we should bring back?
Older christianity. I mean the anti government, anti military, community based christianity. The one that cared the most about peace, equality, mercy, kindness, and radical love. The one with shared property. The one that didn't conform to society but instead existed mostly outside of it. The one where noone considered one sin worse than another because in the end, we are all sinners trying our best to be better.
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ganondoodle · 3 months ago
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the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change
i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!
i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies
maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
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masterfuldoodler · 7 months ago
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wait guys actually! I have a great idea! Instead of feeling bad for reblogging our own art why don't we do a thing where we reblog older pieces/art that didn't get much attention/whatever you want and give commentary on it! Talk about what was fun to draw, what was hard, any interesting stories surrounding the making of it! Behind the scenes! pls guys that would be so fun to read I would LOVE to see that let's do it!
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