#how do people read “large food portions are about making sure no one stays hungry and leftovers are expected”

[jest-a-genetta]

Oh great, I've fallen victim to one of the classic blunders. I read tumblr post comments and now I'm angry and spiraling.

[lavendermin]

when it storms | kazuha

pairing | kazuha x reader

word count | 1.9k

genre | light angst, soft, first encounters

The skies had been cast over with rolling clouds of dark grey. Where the sun and moon used to glow so reverently, there now only fell a heavy rain in their wake.

It was fortunate for the land, your father had commented after a few days of downpour. The rain season was hardly this generous in recent years, and with the nation currently closed off there was an uneven flow of imports due to adjustment. More paperwork, longer shipment times. The people would have to endure less patron flow as the rain kept most indoors, but harvests and plenty of crystal clear lakes would be a sight to behold in the coming months.

This is good, you convinced yourself. Perhaps the dry storm seasons won’t be as many.

The streets outside slowly became less and less active with the usual flow of people. You stand against the door frame of your family’s restaurant, watching the never-ending sea of grey clouds above. The rain is cold against your skin as you stick out a hand curiously. It feels refreshing, pleasant.

“We’re closing up a little early today since the rain is starting back up again. Bring in the sign that’s outside. It would be a shame if it got blown away by tonight’s storm,” your father said as he wiped down the counters and put away clean bowls.

With a nod you happily went outside, umbrella in hand. The rain pattered quietly and rolled off the sides of its protective roof, surrounding you with a soothing atmosphere. The day had dwindled to a lethargic close, and with a languid fondness you watched the last few shopkeepers huddle back into their shops and homes.

The streets emptied out within minutes leaving muddy streets behind. The smell of wet earth hung in the air nostalgically.

Maybe it was fate, that double-take you took. With one last gaze out across the rainy-soaked street, you noticed them. The figure was so still—statuesque— that you wouldn’t have noticed them through the rainy mist if it hadn’t been for the bright crimson of their clothing that stood out.

Had they nowhere to go? Or were they someone who enjoyed standing in the rain? Better yet… How long had they been standing there in the pouring rain?

The question made your heart sink just thinking about it.

From within the building, your father’s voice called out with amusement. “Y/n, come in quick or you’ll get soaked. I don’t want you getting chilled and falling ill because you wanted to watch the rain.”

There was a squeeze of your chest when you turned back to the rain—a pang of guilt that gripped onto your mind. Rain fell relentlessly hard as it picked up, and it filled your mind with concern for that stranger in the rain.

Your body only partially turned toward the door, a quick hesitation stopping you in your tracks as you took one last look over your shoulder. That person… would probably get sick at this rate. Something in the way they stood rigidly against the elements held no joy for the downpour. No childlike amusement like the one you held for rainy days.

“I’ll be right in,” you reassure. “I forgot I left something outside.”

Peering your head quickly through the door frame, you see your father wave you off with a patient smile.

“Be quick.”

With a nod, you wait until you see him disappear up the stairs to the second floor to turn in for the night. You are quick on your feet making your way down the street of shops and houses. The patter of your boots on the rapidly-forming puddles pushed your aching legs forward, umbrella tightly gripped in hand.

The stranger was still unmoving as you approached, steps sounding out with the splash of water with each step. You were sure he heard you, yet he did not turn to meet you as you drew near.

“You’ll get sick if you stay out here in the rain, stranger,” you lightheartedly commented as you stopped next to him, holding your umbrella over him just enough to still partially shield you from the rain.

His eyes remained on the grey sky above, only now torn away slowly from the trance. There was a sorrowful haze that gripped those misty, crimson eyes.

“Do you think the rain is beautiful?” he asked.

This sudden question took you by surprise. The way he looked out at the sea of clouds held anything but sympathy for the grey skies that rained mercilessly.

You blinked, not knowing how to respond to this mysterious stranger. Unexpectedly, though, you felt at ease in his presence.

“I think the feeling of it is beautiful,” you responded, looking at the sky with him.

He hums at this answer, seemingly contemplating it. The answer comes from someone who spends their life indoors, and he understands it. Somehow, these small differences in experiences from person to person brings a little comfort to him. To know that not everyone’s simplicities of life are plagued by grief soothes his soul.

Brief silence overtakes you both as you stand in the downpour.

“Do you not like the rain?” you quietly ask after a while. There’s a worried crease in your brows as you look at him, and he cannot help but feel like he gravitates toward your warmth.

Only the harsh patter of the rain on your umbrella and flooding of the streets fills the silence for a beat as he remains in his thoughts.

“It’s been a while since I heard that question directed at myself,” he chuckles. The small smile that graces his features doesn’t reach his eyes, but answers fondly all the same. “When I was younger, I loved the rain.”

There’s weight in the words as he speaks them. You choose not to pry into the emotional scars tied to his answer.

“Are you travelling?” you ask, changing the subject.

He gives you a smile, and you notice how his snow-white hair clings to his face from the rain. It leaves a pleasantly warm feeling in your chest—how gentle he looks.

“Something like that.” Though his answers are vague, you aren’t one to pry—not when his eyes hold a distant sorrow in them. “It’s best to head inside. You could get sick out in the rain.”

“Come indoors with me, then,” you offer simply. With a warm smile you add, “If you’d like.”

He blinks at you, watches as you hover the umbrella closer over him. The rain is soaking most of you by now, and your smile is radiant— innocent in it’s bright sincerity as you offer him a roof over his head.

It makes this kind gesture all the more difficult to refuse.

“Kazuha,” is all he responds with, a thankful smile softening the gloom that surrounds him as you both hurry back down the muddy street. You introduce yourself just as briefly and lighthearted.

With a motion to the bar counter, you tap your hand on its surface to offer him a seat while you close up the shop and disappear into the kitchen. Kazuha wordlessly takes a seat, the warmth of the restaurant enveloping him pleasantly. His hands grip the towel that now rests around his shoulders a little tighter.

Within minutes, there’s a steaming bowl of noodles placed in front of him. “You’re too kind. I couldn’t possibly—“

You wave him off, plopping down on the seat next to him. “If the food is available, why not share a meal?” you interject simply, settling down next to him to begin eating your own noodle dish. “It’s hard to cook small portions when you’re only ever used to making large amounts for hungry customers. So, please, help yourself.”

“Thank you.” And Kazuha means it. “I’ll take my leave once I’ve finished.”

The look you give him is a little incredulous.

“In this rain? It’s an awfully harsh storm we’re expecting tonight.” You set down your chopsticks, looking at him fully with wide, concerned eyes. “You’re free to stay in the guest room until the storm passes. I would feel terribly guilty to leave you out in the rain.”

It’s silent, and you’ve both left your food untouched as Kazuha becomes a little tense. There’s something weighing on his mind with how he avoids your gaze, hands anxiously clenching and unclenching in his lap.

He reaches into his pocket, clutching something in his palm shielded from your view.

Now you’re curious.

His voice lowers, soft and cautious. “I don’t want to put you in danger with my presence.”

The smooth metal of the vision’s frame clangs quietly as Kazuha places it on the table, sliding it towards you.

“I’m a wanted man.”

There’s no response from you for a brief moment. Visions are rare to see nowadays, and even more dangerous to have. Your fingertips smooth over its surface momentarily, eyes sparkling with intrigue and wonder.

“The vision… Why is it missing?” you wonder silently.

Kazuha looks down. “That’s—“

“You don’t have to explain anything. This doesn’t make you a bad person,” you quickly defend. It takes him aback, caught off by the sudden emotion that makes your eyes twinkle. “Stay.”

“It would put you in da—“

“I don’t care. Your life is important. I’ll help you.” There’s a fire in your eyes as you hold his gaze, face serious. Your expression softens as you place the blank vision back in his palm with a reassuring gentleness. “I won’t lose another person to them.”

There are details that both of you do not know, information left out of each other’s backgrounds and circumstances. But one thing reigned true—there was goodness in his heart, and in yours, too. Perhaps this is what convinced him to accept your generosity.

He’s smiling, gentle upon his expression as he picks up his chopsticks once more.

“You aren’t the first to put your life on the line for me,” he adds quietly. The atmosphere has relaxed once more as you both continue eating through idle conversation in the dim restaurant lighting.

You hum, mouth full of food. “And I’m sure I won’t be the last. But,” you bite your thumb, pondering. “I’m sure you’ve been running for a while.”

With a quiet sigh, he answers, “Longer than I thought I would last, if I’m being honest.”

There’s a glint in your eye, and you’re deep in your own onslaught of thoughts. There’s an underlying anxiousness that falls upon your shoulders. Kazuha wishes he could read you better.

For the remainder of the quick meal, you hold your tongue but he can see the gears turning in your head. The bowls are emptied, hunger satisfied, and you show him to the guest room through hushed voices.

“Kazuha,” you call quietly before leaving the room you prepared for him. Your voice lowers further, barely above a whisper and you make it a point to sidle closer to him. “If you had the chance to escape Inazuma… would you?”

His eyes go a little wide for a moment. “You couldn’t mean…”

“I have a plan.”

And in that moment, he gazes at you with reverence and trust. His heart would be safe in the palm of your hand. You wait for his approval to continue with the idea. The smile he flashes you is contagious, and you are a beacon of hope in this tumultuous uncertainty.

He sits on the sleeping mat you've prepared, patting the spot next to him where he plopped down. “Let's hear it, then.”

In the late hours of the night, two hushed voices debate their best chance of escape.

“I have a close acquaintance, captain of her own fleet from Liyue.”

[anna-pixie]

safe passge -> the witcher {part two}

I will be uploading this to AO3 soon... I’ve never posted on there before so I’m just figuring it out!

Read part one here

Summary: Geralt deals with having you and Jaskier annoying him on the road. You stop at an inn and make a new friend.

Pairings: Geralt of Rivia x Reader

Warnings: None

“So… day three on the road. How is the princess coping?” 

“The princess will murder the bard with his own lute should he decide to keep calling her the princess.”

Jaskier raises his hands in defence and you shoot him a sickly sweet smile, revelling in how easily you can get to him. Your friendship with the bard has developed quickly over the three days you’ve been on the road, it seems as though the two of you are cut from the same cloth - personality wise that is. Geralt, bless his soul, thought he had it rough when he travelled only with Jaskier - now there are two of you. 

“It’s not very becoming of you to threaten a life, princess.” Geralt hums, commenting on the incessant insults thrown between you and Jaskier. 

You send the large man a glare out of the corner of your eye, fighting the smile that threatens to show as he meets your gaze with a smirk of his own. 

No. You have to remind yourself, you are not attracted to the Witcher. The large, scary Witcher who could kill you with his bare hands if he wanted to. Your mind flashes with the inappropriate thought of his large hands around your neck, your life in his hands while he looks at you with those hypnotic eyes. 

Your cheeks flush and your eyes dart around quickly, the horrifying thought that Geralt may be able to read minds as part of his Witcher-ness scares you. 

“Jaskier… psst.” You hiss, trying to subtly get the attention of the bard who is humming a tune to himself as he skips just behind Geralt. 

You’re in a small town surrounded by nothing but forest, making your way to the local inn from where you left the carriage at the edge of the dense greenery. 

“Yes m’lady?”

“Geralt can’t… read minds… can he?”

Jaskier chuckles at your fear, his quizzical gaze pinning you for a moment before he cackles, “Oh! This is golden! Has someone been having some less than innocent thoughts about the big bad Witcher?”

“Shut up, Jaskier!” You squeal, slapping the bard harshly on his upper arm. He winces, sprinting back towards Geralt with cries that you’re attacking him. The white haired man turns his head to face you, his eyebrows raised exasperatedly. You respond with a pout, an innocent gaze his way through your lashes. You only receive a clenched jaw in response before he turns, hitting Jaskier on his arm in the same place you did. 

A chuckle escapes your lips as he wails in pain. Sure, your little slap probably stung a bit - but Geralt did not hold back. He will probably have a bruise there soon. The inn enters your vision, and your sore muscles practically cry out in relief. 

As you enter the establishment, you realise that you probably look quite the sight. First, the lilac adorned bard clutching his arm in pain, followed by the hulking Witcher, swords at the ready behind his back, and then you - in your pretty pink dress with your favourite necklace. 

Certainly a motley crew, you wonder what the patrons are assuming when they see you. Do they guess correctly? That your parents paid the Witcher and his bard to escort you to your new home? Or do they assume wrong? Perhaps they think you’ve been kidnapped, held against your will by the big, scary white wolf.

Geralt doesn’t seem phased by the stares, thudding over to a table in the far corner of the room, lowering himself onto the wooden bench with a groan. Jaskier orders the three of you a round of ale and meat with all the trimmings and a side of potatoes. 

“I’m not hungry.” You mumble as you observe the sloppy food the inn keeper throws before you, “I’ll save it, take it back for the carriage driver.”

“We’re not leaving here until you eat everything on that plate, princess.” Geralt doesn’t even look at you as he speaks, tearing a chunk of meat straight from the bone and chewing harshly. You cringe slightly at his brutish manners. 

“No, thank you.”

“I wasn’t asking, princess.” There’s a new edge to his voice now, a no nonsense tone that non-verbally tells you that you’d better start eating right now, or else. 

“Oh, don’t use your scary voice on her, Geralt. We all know you’re a big softie deep down.” The two men start to bicker amongst themselves and you snicker, reluctantly starting your meal. 

Being raised as a princess, you were expected to be prim and proper at all times. That meant having immensely smaller portions of food to your male counterparts, so having a large meal - the same as the two men - is foreign to you. 

You eat as much as you can, about half of the plate, before you start to feel full. Your eyes light up as you recall passing a beggar on your way to the inn. Deciding then that you’ll spare some of your own coin to buy the carriage driver his own meal, you ask the inn keeper if he can wrap up the remnants of your food in some cloth. 

“I hope you’re saving that for later.” Geralt comments once you’ve ordered another meal for the driver. 

You take a beat to reply, debating whether to tell him the truth, “Of course I am.” You lie, a sickly sweet smile gracing your lips. 

“Hmm.”

A while later, whilst Geralt and Jaskier are having a hushed conversation, you attempt to drink some of your ale. This is another first for you too, never having had a sip of any sort of alcoholic beverage before. 

Deciding that the best option is to go all in, you take a huge gulp of the brown liquid, regretting it instantly as you spit it all back onto the wooden table, choking and gasping as your throat burns.

You exchange an embarrassed, wide eyed look with Geralt and Jaskier, and there is a long moment of silence before they start to laugh. Yes, properly laughing. You’d expected it from Jaskier, but the deep peels of laughter that rumble from the Witcher take you by surprise. 

“Oh! That was just priceless!” Jaskier wails, and you can’t quite tell whether he is pretending to wipe the tear out of his eye or if he is actually crying. 

“Shut up.” You grumble, your face flush with embarrassment. Jaskier’s laughs fade in mere chuckles and Geralt just observes you quietly, a smile still tugging slightly on the corner of his mouth.

“Excuse the question, Geralt, but I don’t quite understand the carriage driver's insistence on sleeping in the carriage. Surely he can find a safe place to leave it for a night?” 

“Princess, his whole livelihood rests on that carriage. If it goes, he’s done for. Not worth the risk for a comfortable night, I’d assume.”

“Oh.” You hate how frequently you’re reminded of the fact that you’re utterly clueless about anything outside of your luxurious lifestyle. You’re pretty sure that this will change during your month on the road, you’ve already experienced so many things you had never even imagined, “May I be excused to deliver his meal to him? I’m sure he’d appreciate some warm food.” 

Geralt doesn’t answer, he just pins you with that annoying stare once more. Yes, annoying, that’s what you’re telling yourself. 

“Of course you can, Y/N, excuse Geralt’s lack of brain cells that stop him from keeping up with a simple conversation.”

The Witcher’s arm darts out and before you even see what has happened, Jaskier is once again gasping in pain. 

“You’re in no place to give such permission, bard,” He sends a side-eyed glare to the bard who grips his arm with a dark look in his eyes, “You’ve got an hour, princess, any longer than that and I’m coming to collect you. Are we clear?”

“Crystal.” You grin, sending a thankful nod to the innkeeper who hands you the two parcels of wrapped food. 

With one final wave to an apprehensive looking Geralt, you make your way back through the town. Your eyes light up when you realise the beggar is still in the same place, you approach her carefully and your breath stills when you realise she is holding a small baby. 

“Hello there.” Your voice is soft as you approach her, and the woman smiles at you, although her eyes remain guarded. You notice she hugs the child tighter to her chest as you approach, and you can hardly blame her. It’s hard to know who to trust these days. 

“Evening, miss.” Her voice is tired, croaky and worn. She sounds exasperated, and it is probably something to do with your rather… glamorous… attire. It is not customary for people of higher standing to treat beggars well. You’d heard stories of the young lords in your kingdom teasing and taunting the poor beggars. 

“I picked up an extra portion of food in the inn,” You pause, wondering how to phrase this, “I was wondering if you’d like it?” Her eyes seem to light up when you show her the parcel of food, physical proof that you’re not playing a practical joke on her. 

You’re torn as you gaze at the baby, wanting to give the half portion that you saved for the driver to make sure it gets fed. Surely you can explain to Geralt why you didn’t end up going back to the driver? Plus, this baby definitely needs it more. 

“Oh, thank you miss.” The woman cries, her eyes literally tearing up as she inhales, taking in the fact that she is going to have a real meal tonight. She seems in disbelief when you hand her the other wrapped food parcel, telling her that it is for the baby, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, please take it.” You smile at her, beginning your walk back to the inn as she begins to cry. You stop, your mind screaming at you not to leave her there, and you turn back to the two with a resigned sigh, “Excuse me, ma’am, I’m staying at the local inn. Could I pay for you to spend the night there?”

The guarded expression returns to her eyes as she observes you, but she looks back down at the food in her hands and seems to realise that you’re not messing with her. She rises slowly, a pained expression on her face as she clutches the baby tightly to her breast. There is a limp in her step and you realise she has probably been sat in the same position for a while. 

She catches up and falls into step beside you, a silence falling over you as you think of what to say.

“What is your name?” You start simple, hoping you can ease her into conversation without scaring her away. 

By the time you reach the inn again, you’re laughing with the woman who you discovered is only two years your senior. Her name is Lettie, and she was kicked out of her home when she got pregnant out of wedlock. The father of the baby didn’t want anything to do with them, and left them to fend for themselves on the street. 

She has a lovely baby girl named Faith, who giggles away as you babble at her. Lettie giggles at the story of Jaskier almost throwing up over your anecdote about the scar on your leg, and you laugh along as you push open the door to the inn. Once again, you’re on the receiving end of judgemental glances from the patrons - but Lettie doesn’t seem phased as she follows you over to the table where Geralt and Jaskier are watching you with wide eyes. 

“When I let you out of my sight for an hour, I didn’t think you’d return with more people, princess.” Geralt grumbles, his harsh gaze fixed on Lettie and Faith, who both observe the Witcher curiously. 

“Princess?” Lettie questions, only just seeming to register the term Geralt used to address you. 

“Uh, yeah.” You blush, scratching the back of your neck, “I’m paying for her board for the night Geralt. I’ve plenty of coin to spare, why not use it for something good?” You ponder, gaining the attention of the innkeeper’s wife, requesting a large room with an adjoining bathroom, “I’d like a few jugs of hot water for a bath to be brought up, please.” You finish, smiling at Lettie whose eyes are teary once more. 

“Oh, Y/N, I don’t even know what to say. This is the most kindness I’ve been shown in a long, long time. It… it means so much to me, you don’t even realise.”

You place a hand on her thin arm and squeeze gently, “Please, it’s a pleasure. Would you like me to watch Faith while you have a bath? I can sit in the adjoining room with her, if you’re weary of leaving her with me.”

She seems to mull over your offer for a while, before finally deciding that she can trust you, taking the room key off you with a smile. 

“Please, take care of her. If she cries, she likes to suck on something - or maybe eat some food.” Lettie kisses her baby on the forehead and hands her over to you. 

Now, you’ve never held a baby before. However, extensive lessons in motherhood from your own mother have prepared you for this moment - you clutch Faith, gently cradling her head in your palm as you rock her slowly. The baby seems at ease with you right away, and Lettie heads towards her room with a relieved sigh. 

“Princess…” Geralt mumbles once more, and you finally look at the two men as you take a seat on the bench, still rocking Faith. 

“Oh, hiiiii there.” Jaskier coos, stumbling around the circumference of the table to sit beside you, fawning over the little baby in your arms. Her wide eyes land on Jaskier and she lets out a shriek of delight when he begins to play peek-a-boo with her. 

Faith reaches towards the bard, signalling that she wants him to hold her. You let out an aww and hand him the baby, finally meeting the gaze of Geralt who looks incredibly annoyed. 

“What are you playing at, princess? We can’t bring them with us.” His tone is firm, no nonsense as he refuses to let you break from his gaze. You sigh, scooting over towards him, trying to ignore the way your mind screams at you to get even closer. 

“I know that, Geralt. I was only going to give her some food and I saw her baby and… I couldn’t just leave them there. I’m going to part with them in the morning, after I give them some coin. I promise.” You look up at the Witcher through your eyelashes, your persuasive look has never failed before. 

He groans, finally removing his gaze from yours and clenching his jaw. 

“One night. We’ll be leaving early in the morning.”

You bite your lip to hide the victorious smile on your face.

*****

Tag list:

@over300books​

[nonbinary-octopus]

Virgil the Wee Vampire  Chapter 14: Negotiations 

Summary: Terms are discussed and a deal is made.

Warnings/Contains: blood, vomit

Wordcount: 2.7 K

Chapter 1: The Hungry Little Vampire

Masterpost

More stories

~~~

That night, as they flew together, and found some unsuspecting livestock to feed from and a space just big enough for two bats to shelter from the sun, Virgil and Thomas filled each other in on the events that had happened since they’d last seen each other in their cave days ago, and they mourned their family together.

They also discussed what they wanted to do next. By the time the sun rose, they had a tentative plan. The brothers fell asleep wrapped in each other’s wings, feeling more secure than they had in a long time. They slept soundly all through the day, and after the sun had set again, they returned to the house where Virgil’s humans lived.

They went to the window that Patton had opened for them; it was still open, and after Virgil peeked quickly inside to be sure they weren’t about to fly in on a human using the room, they entered.

“Where do you think we’ll find them?” Thomas asked as they flew through the hallway.

“I dunno,” Virgil said. He peeked into one of the sleeping rooms, but the door was angled so that he could only see a portion of it, and that portion was unoccupied. “I was only with them for a few days, but they seemed to gather in all the rooms equally.” He gave the whistle-click equivalent of a shrug. “We’ll start in the two big rooms, and if not, then we’ll come back here and I’ll call at the opening to each sleeping room until someone answers.”

They didn’t have to do that, however. When they reached the first of the two large rooms, they found all three humans. Logan sat on one of the cloth structures, gazing at a bundle of papers. Roman sat on the other, in a much more curled position. He too was looking at some paper, but unlike Logan, he was actively making marks on it. Patton lay on the floor, hands tucked under his head, with his eyes closed.

None of the humans seemed to have noticed them yet. The two bats circled near the ceiling a few times, trying to decide how to get the humans’ attention. Ordinarily, they tried to avoid doing so, so they weren’t sure what to do. Finally, Virgil flew down, shifting as he landed near Roman’s shoulder. “Hello,” he said.

Several things happened in rapid succession. Firstly, Roman made a loud, abrupt sound, his entire body jolting. Virgil, startled, fell off the back of the cloth thing, barely managing to shift in time to glide to a gentle landing. He couldn’t see the other humans’ reactions to Roman’s noise from his new position, but Thomas could. Logan lowered his bundle of papers, and Patton sat up. They both looked over at Roman.

“You okay?”

“Uh,” Roman said, twisting around to look at the spot where Virgil had stood. “Y-yeah.” He kept looking around the room with a confused expression on his face, but failed to look up. “Did you guys hear that?”

“You yelping?” Patton teased.

“No!” Roman protested. “The reason. It sounded like—” He finally leaned over the back of his seat, looking down. “Ah! Hi, Virgil. You startled me.”

Virgil waved a wing up at him, chirping a greeting in return despite knowing that Roman wouldn’t even be able to hear it, let alone understand it.

“Virgil’s back?” Patton asked, delighted.

Logan glanced up to the ceiling. “Looks like they both are,” he added.

Roman paused, looking over to Logan, then following his gaze up to where Thomas still circled near the ceiling. He looked down at Virgil again. “You are Virgil, right? Sorry, I… I can’t really tell you apart as bats.”

Virgil laughed and flew back up to the top of the cloth thing. He landed a little further from Roman this time, shifting again. “Yes, hi,” he greeted.

“It’s good to see you both again,” Logan said. Patton, grinning, nodded.

Looking up at his little brother, Virgil clicked a few words of encouragement. Thomas dove down, landing close beside Virgil and shifting. He stood beside and slightly behind Virgil, holding lightly onto his sleeve near the elbow.

Virgil drew himself up to his full height, looking directly at each human in turn. They, seeming to realize the importance of the situation, all sat quietly and waited. “When you said I could live with you if I wanted,” Virgil said slowly. “Does that include Thomas too?”

“Of course,” Logan answered without hesitation.

“We wouldn’t want to break up a family!” Patton added.

Roman nodded agreement.

Virgil nodded back at them. “Good,” he said. “In that case, we’re here to discuss the terms of that agreement.”

“Neat,” Roman said.

“Do you mind if I get something to write it down?” Logan asked. “For future reference.”

Virgil glanced at Thomas, who still looked nervous, but not more so than before. He nodded. Setting his bundle of papers down, Logan got up, moving slowly around the edge of the room to pick up a pad of paper and a pen. He returned to his previous seat.

“Ready.”

“First:” Virgil said, doing his best to keep his voice firm and level. He thought he did a decent job. “If we live in your house, we’re allowed to go out and come in whenever we want. There’s to be a window kept open for that purpose.”

Logan nodded, writing on his pad.

“Yeah, that’s a given,” Roman said.

“Ro, hush,” Patton chided. “It’s good to declare these sorts of things.”

Virgil took a deep breath. So far, so good. Logan stopped writing and looked up. Virgil took that as his cue to continue. “Similarly,” he said, “there’s to be a space for us to sleep, safe away from the sunlight, and you absolutely cannot move it into sunlight.”

“Also a given,” Roman said. “We’d be bad hosts if we put you in dangerous situations.”

Patton nodded sincerely. “None of us want to hurt you,” he promised. “Plus, Logan’s a doctor, so he’s specifically sworn to not hurt people. It’s called the Hippopotamus Oath.”

“Hippocratic,” Logan corrected. “But yes, among other things, it includes the clause to do no harm and would certainly forbid intentionally exposing you to sunlight.”

“That’s good,” said Virgil, who was feeling a bit confused but encouraged nonetheless. He continued with the next condition. “Next: you don’t tell any other humans that we’re here.”

“Why not?” Roman asked while Logan wrote. Patton gave him a stern look, and Roman lifted both his hands. Thomas flinched, ducking a little more behind Virgil’s shoulder, but Roman, looking in Patton’s direction, didn’t seem to notice. “Just curious. I’ll follow the rules, I just wanna know why.”

“Other humans are dangerous,” Virgil said. Roman looked a bit dubious. “The Slayer was a human.” Virgil was impressed that his voice didn’t tremble. Thomas’s grip on his sleeve tightened.

Roman’s eyes widened, then narrowed in a wince. “Oh,” he said. “Yeah, no, that makes sense. Sorry.” After a pause, he added, “No telling other humans. Promise.”

Virgil nodded, relieved. He looked to Logan to check that he was ready. He was. “You don’t touch my brother. Not unless he says you can. No picking up or holding, and definitely no grabbing.”

“What about you?” Logan asked, writing.

Virgil paused. “Patton can touch me,” he said after a moment. “I’m still deciding about you and Roman.”

Roman chuckled. “That’s fair.”

“What else?” Logan asked.

Virgil exchanged a look with Thomas, who shook his head. “That’s it.”

The three humans looked at each other, and all nodded. “Sounds good to us,” Patton said.

“We have some terms too,” Logan added.

Ah. Now they would see what it was the humans expected to get out of this. Virgil met Logan’s gaze. “What?”

“First, we’re all willing to supply you with blood, but we ask that you not bite us without warning, and allow us to choose the location of the bite, to reduce the risk of serious injury.”

That was reasonable. Better than reasonable, actually. The humans didn’t need to offer them their blood. Virgil nodded.

“Uh, hang on, I didn’t write these down beforehand,” Logan said, quickly scribbling in his pad. “Okay. If you’re going to be staying with us long-term, I might actually get some equipment from the hospital to draw blood without a bite being necessary. There have been no ill effects from bites thus far, but it’s hard to say what might happen with frequent exposure to your saliva.”

Virgil hesitated. “Like when you cut your finger and squeezed it in a glass thing?” he asked.

Logan shrugged a bit. “Sort of. With the proper equipment, it’ll be safer and heal faster, but you can drink it out of whatever kind of container is most convenient for you.” He looked down at his pad again. “That kinda brings us to the next point I wanted to make. Patton is really squicked out by blood — it bothers him to see it. We’ll ask you to keep any blood out of his sight.”

“I’m okay with helping feed you,” Patton chimed in, though he did look uncomfortable with the topic. “I just don’t wanna see it.”

Logan looked down at his paper again. “I think that’s about it,” he said. “Unless you two have anything to add.”

“Ah,” Roman said awkwardly. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t sneak up on me. I know it can’t always be helped, but, um. Maybe make some sound?”

Virgil exchanged an uncertain glance with Thomas. “We can try,” he said doubtfully. Bats were meant to fly silently, and it wasn’t like they could call out to Roman if they flew behind him.

Roman sighed. “I’ll take it.”

“Anything else?” Logan asked. Nobody said anything. “Alright. Let me just read these back, then. One: Virgil and Thomas are allowed to enter and exit the house whenever they like, and we won’t close their window.” He paused. “When it gets into the colder months, it would be less wise to leave a window open all the time, but by that point we may be able to install a cat flap. Er, a smaller door which you can open yourselves.” Logan hesitated again. “Actually, do you hibernate?”

“Hibernate?” Virgil repeated.

“A sort of long sleep during the winter, to conserve energy while it’s cold and food is scarce.”

Virgil hesitated, then nodded. “We sleep more when it’s cold.”

“Hm, alright.” Logan made a note of that, then continued. “Two: We are to supply a safe, secure location for Virgil and Thomas to sleep during the day, and under no conditions are to expose them to sunlight.” He glanced up for a moment, but nobody said anything, so he kept going. “Three: Virgil and Thomas are a secret not to be shared with other humans. Four: the humans are not to initiate physical contact with the vampires, with the exception of Patton with Virgil.”

“What’s a vampire?” Thomas whispered to Virgil.

Virgil shrugged a little. “Us.”

“It sounds made up.”

“Yep.”

Logan continued with his list. “Five: Roman, Patton, and myself will supply Virgil and Thomas with sufficient blood to keep them well-nourished and healthy; in exchange, Virgil and Thomas are to ask first before biting, only bite in pre-approved locations, and six: do their best to prevent Patton from seeing any spilled blood. Finally, seven: Virgil and Thomas are to attempt not to startle Roman, though we do accept the reality that you are very small and quiet and Roman is jumpy.” Logan lowered the pad. “Any objections?”

“Yeah, I’ve got one,” Roman said, lifting his hand. “I’m not jumpy.”

“I could change it to ‘not difficult to startle,’ if you’d prefer,” Logan offered.

Roman pouted. “I guess.”

Logan made another note. “Besides that, any objections or additions?”

“Sounds good to me,” Patton said cheerfully.

Virgil looked to Thomas, who nodded. “Us too,” Virgil said.

Logan nodded. “Then we have a deal. I look forward to getting to know both of you better.”

“Are you hungry?” Patton asked.

“Yeah,” Virgil admitted.

“I believe it’s my turn to provide your meal,” Logan said, pulling the box of bandages from its spot under the short table, placing it on top instead. “Unless you’d be more comfortable with someone else for your first time, Thomas.”

Thomas ducked behind Virgil again. Virgil thought back on the other times he’d bit the humans. Patton had held him for all but the first, and that just wouldn’t do. They were not going to hold Thomas. “Do you want me to get some and share with you?” he offered softly.

Thomas nodded immediately, sagging with relief.

Virgil squeezed his hand encouragingly. “I’ll be right back,” he promised, and shifted. It only took a few moments for him to fly over to Logan, and he circled him once, trying to decide where to land. Logan lifted a hand, and Virgil dropped down, grabbing onto a finger with his feet to dangle beneath it.

“Alright,” said Logan, who had become very still. “I suppose that works.” He lifted his hand a little further, looking at Virgil. “Are you… do you want to eat in that position?”

Well, no. Not really. Virgil huffed and let go. He landed awkwardly in Logan’s lap. Shifting back to his wingless form, he untangled himself, stepping onto the pad Logan had been writing on. Logan sat very still, looking down at him. Virgil stood up as tall as he could, looking back up at him.

“Alright,” Logan said again. He brought his hand back down, placing it in front of Virgil. 

Virgil stepped forward. Then he paused. Crouching, he touched the white bandage wrapped around Logan’s littlest finger. “Is it healing? It smells funny.”

“It’s fine,” Logan assured him. “It just needs a few days more.”

Virgil frowned uncertainly, but he stood back up, putting his hands instead on Logan’s first finger. With one more glance up at the human, he leaned in, licking it. One more lick to be safe, and then he bit.

Virgil drank deeply, filling his stomach as full as he could. He was drinking for two, after all. It took longer than when he had fed before, and when he had finished and pulled away, Virgil had to take a moment to gather himself again. He sat on Logan’s notes, watching absently as the human cleaned and bandaged the injury.

When Logan had finished, he looked at Virgil again, then glanced at Thomas. Virgil got to his feet, feeling heavy. He shifted, taking awkwardly to the air. Unsteadily, Virgil flew to his brother, landing clumsily beside him. Thomas dropped to his knees as Virgil shifted back, grabbing onto his upper arms to steady him.

Virgil gladly accepted the support, leaning on Thomas to pull himself to his feet. Looking over his shoulder, Virgil saw that all three humans were watching them. “Patton,” Virgil said.

Patton perked up. “Yes?”

“Don’t look.”

Patton blinked in confusion for a moment, but then obediently covered his eyes. Virgil turned back to Thomas with a nod and began to regurgitate blood into his brother’s mouth.

“Ew, gross!” Roman exclaimed behind him. Thomas flinched slightly, but Virgil ignored the loud human.

Virgil gave Thomas a bit more than half the blood he’d drunk from Logan. They pulled apart, wiping their mouths. After Virgil had checked to be sure that there was no blood on either of their faces, he called, “Patton, you can look now.”

“Erm,” Logan said softly, drawing all eyes to him. “I understand Thomas wanting to keep his distance, of course, but may I offer a… a cleaner method next time?”

Virgil glanced down at the cloth under their feet. “We didn’t spill.”

“That’s good, but not what I meant.” Logan gave them a gentle smile. “Spitting up blood into each other’s mouths seems unhygienic to me. Not to mention that it prevents both of you from drinking your fill.”

“Thomas won’t have to touch you?” Virgil asked hesitantly.

“He will not,” Logan agreed. “Neither will you, if you don’t want to.”

Virgil exchanged a glance with Thomas, who just leaned tiredly into him. “Alright,” Virgil said. “We can try your idea next time.”

~~~~~

Chapter 15: IDK yet

[aladdinthefortuneteller]

Weight Gain With 4 Simple Steps

Gain Weight With 4 Simple Steps

1) Eat High Calorie Foods

You probably heard this a million times before. If it was this easy you wouldn’t be looking here to gain weight.

I’m going to give you some unorthodox foods you probably haven’t tried before. Thus, your weight gain journey will be much easier.

Why should you listen to me?

Cuz I have been there. I was a super skinny kid up until my university years. Then, throughout endless research, trial and error, I managed to bulk up to 105kg.

On a side note, I was 65kg when I started uni.

I did this over years. However, it took me so long cuz I was making mistakes.

Alright, let’s get to work. These are the high calorie foods that will bulk you up in no time. These foods should be in your daily diet to gain weight.

1)Peanut Butter

Peanuts and peanut butter contain nutrients that may boost a person’s heart health and improve blood sugar levels.

Depending on how much you eat in a day you can put on pounds during weight training or bodybuilding.

Protein. Peanut butter contains 7.02 grams (g) of protein per 2-tbsp serving. This is essential ingredient for us to put on quality mass.

Magnesium. With 57 milligrams (mg) of magnesium, each serving helps towards the RDATrusted Source of 400–420 mg in men. Magnesium plays a role in over 300 chemical processes in the body. Including putting on muscle.

Phosphorous. Each serving contains 107 mg of phosphorus, which is about 15.3 percent of the RDA of 700 mg for adults. Phosphorus helps to build healthy cells and bones and helps to produce energy.

Zinc. A serving of peanut butter provides 0.85 mg of zinc. This is 7.7 percent of the recommended daily intake of 11 mg for men.

Niacin. Peanut butter contains 4.21 mg of niacin per serving, which makes a useful contribution towards a person’s recommended intake of 14 to 16 mg.

Vitamin B-6. With 0.17 g of vitamin B-6 per serving, peanut butter provides almost 14 percent of an adult’s RDA of 1.3 mgTrusted Source.

Can you see one thing from these ingredients? Yes, all help to produce energy, and the more energy our body has, the more it stores. This is how we gain weight.

Don’t think like: “Oh okay, I will eat a spoon of it here and there.” NO! You have to eat loads of this to gain weight.

I remember eating 5-6 table spoons a day which really made a difference.

You are not a normal person! You have to get out of your comfort zone to make a difference.

My suggestions is at least 4 table spoons a day with meals.

2) Weight Gainer

Weight gainer should be one of your go to snacks. I scoop of weight gainer contains redicilious amount of calories full of carbs, protein and healthy fats.

The best part about weight gainers is they are cheap! Also way cheaper than whey protein.

I recommend making a shake with banana, weight gainer and 2 spoons of peanut butter.

You can visit this page to find high-quality and top-rated weight gainers. My personal favorite is the chocolate flavor.

They mix up with almost everything and taste amazing! So, buy one of them and you will thank me.

Don’t forget, these are called weight gainers for a reason. They pack on mass quick. BUT, the important part is to not replacing them with meals.

Always eat your solid meals first and before you go to sleep make a shake with banana, weight gainer and any other ingredient you like.

Even if you are full after the meal, you have to consume a shake. That way your muscles will repair during the night.

Also you body will store the extra energy.

3) Milk

The nutritional composition of milk is highly complex, and it contains almost every single nutrient that your body needs.

One cup (240 ml) of whole cow’s milk with 3.25% fat provides

Calories: 149

Water: 88%

Protein: 7.7 grams

Carbs: 11.7 grams

Sugar: 12.3 grams

Fiber: 0 grams

Fat: 8 grams

Some athletes consume 2 liters milk per day to put on as much mass as possible. I don’t recommend that. But, you can see why they do that.

If you have lactose intolerance, you should consume lactose-free milk.

By the way, I used to put milk in my before-bed shakes. Including weight gainer, banana, peanut butter, and 2 glasses of milk.

That shake will make you strong as a bull and will guarantee to turn you into a bodyguard. If you don’t feel like puking, you can drink milk instead of water.

I had many friends who did this technique. It takes time to get used to. But once you get used to it, people won’t recognize you.

2) Eat Till You Are Uncomfortably Full EVERY MEAL

When talk to a hardgainer, they always mention the time they ate the whole large pizza.

But when I ask them what did you eat for the rest of the day, nothing comes out.

This is the issue. If that one large meal you ate recently was gonna cut it, you would not be here.

BECAUSE,

This is the simple reality.

You have to feel uncomfortable after every meal. To gain weight and put on the quality mass on your frame, you have to eat till you are feeling sick.

So, the uncomfortable feeling you have after a huge meal, should happen after every meal of the day. Not just one meal.

How Many Meals A Day To Gain Weight?

Speaking of meals, I subscribe to eating at least 4 big meals a day.

Assuming you will have the pre-bed shakes, that will make 4 huge meals plus a giant shake. So, that puts you around 3k to 4k calories a day.

All in all, I want you to feel like ”If I take one more bite, I will have to go to the hospital.” EVERY MEAL!

3) Gain Weight By Exercising Less

This might not include all of you.

BUT,

I am talking to the ones who love running on the treadmill. The more you run and the excessively you train, the more weight you lose.

The trick is super simple. Keep your weight training under 45 mins. Also, don’t do cardio. Never, Ever!

If you are doing any sports, avoid spending calories doing cardio. You are better off lifting weights under 45 mins.

This way you will be able to utilise precious calories to build muscle and gain weight.

If you really love running, and can’t live without some sort of cardio or outdoor activity, just walk.

If your heart rate elevates, your body starts burning calories. Especially, ectomorphs like you and me, we literally destroy calories in minutes.

So far, we talked about the duration of the exercise and the type of the exercise.

Now, let’s cover how much you should train a week.

The optimal scenario is to train 4 times a week. WEIGHT TRAINING. You can get away with 3, but less than 3 will impact your apatite.

Also if you go crazy and train everyday of the week, your body will have no time to recover and muscle.

We don’t want that!

4) Sleep Less To Gain Weight

Look, I’m not saying drink 5 energy drinks at night.

You are here for my unorthodox weight gaining tactics. So listen tight.

I figured this out after I graduated and started working. This led me to sleep very early and I wasn’t able to add another meal to my diet.

Including me, some people can only eat so much in one sitting. So my solution was to add meals instead of increasing the portion size.

Going back to the story, since I was sleeping so early I wasn’t able to squeeze in another meal in.

That day I decided to stay up a little bit later to smash my next meal.

Benefits?

The upside of this is you can also do extra work. Study, watch movies, read, hustle…

I became more productive and gained mass. That was a win win for me!

I urge you to try this. Sleep less than you usually do. The more you stay up late the more you get hungry.

It gives you the room to eat and more time to sneak in snacks.

If you liked this article please make sure you share it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Trumbler, LinkedIn and Instagram.

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[savannahsdrabbles]

Ocean Song - Part 8

rating: PG 

notes: 1.7k words. A03 link can be found here. Also thank you to @rusty-wayfarer and @starfiretheninja for beta-reading.

Salt.

His head perked up and he inhaled greedily, scent glands tingling as he drank in the thick, sharp scent of ocean air. His senses had alerted him a while ago that they were approaching the shoreline - even before the humans had verbalized their own realizations - but the increasing smell of the water and the deep rumble of churning waves still made his heart beat all the faster. A primal desire deep within his bones yelled louder and louder with each plodding step, urging him to hit the ground running and not stop until he could feel shifting sand between his toes and icy spray on his skin.

He was fairly certain that he could successfully make a break for it at this point – most of the feeling had returned to his limbs, despite Girl not being able to remove the “collar” as planned. She’d stated her intent to do so after she and Boy finished covering their car with branches, hoping to disguise it while they were gone and cover their tracks. Once she’d seemed satisfied, the girl squatted before him and pulled the egg from an unseen place in her pelt.

“There’s only one button on it,” she’d reasoned out loud as she rolled the object in her palm and glanced nervously at his neck. He hadn’t liked her expression – why was she so hesitant now? Just remove it! “When I clicked the controller last time, it seemed to turn the power off. So maybe clicking a second time will make it release?”

She’d been wrong.

The moment her fingers left the surface of the egg, he felt his body begin to shut back down. Thankfully she’d been able to undo the process before his panic could fully set in, but the experience had still left him rattled and wanting to either smash the egg or bury it deep within the earth.

After that plan had failed, she and Boy decided that they would take turns standing behind him and prying at the collar with all of their might. He’d cringed away from their outstretched hands at first, giving small growls of warning when they reached for his throat, but reluctantly relented when Girl mentioned that the sooner they could get it off, the sooner they could get moving. He settled on clenching his teeth and curling his claws tightly into fists as the humans both attempted to jam their fingers into the small gap where skin met collar.

After a few minutes of them tugging and him mentally screaming, Boy gave a sigh and announced that he should be able to get it off using tools from “the Marina”.  Girl had seemed to agree, and the next thing he knew, he’d been scooped back up into Boys’ arms and the trio began their slow journey down the cliffside.

The majority of the long walk had consisted of the two humans quietly talking between themselves while he squirmed anxiously in Boy’s arms; this was better than being held still, but it was still far from what he would consider comfortable. He’d tried to distract himself by listening in to their conversations initially, but gave up after only a few minutes. He’d long prided himself as being the best interpreter in his family, but now he felt like he was only catching a third of what was being said. What in the world were they even going on about, and why did it take so long for each Human to speak? Surely their communications could be much more efficient if they simply focused on vocal inclinations – why waste time sounding out long phrases that could just get lost amongst the waves?

In an effort to keep his mind calm, he took this time to reflect on either Human’s voice; he focused on memorizing their sounds and taking note of how exactly their tones changed as he spoke.

Boy was definitely the louder of the two and seemed to be more aggressive – though not quite in a way that made him fearful; he wasn’t like the Humans from earlier. He simply seemed to dive into his words and actions headfirst, not stopping to consider the potential consequences. This theory was proven correct several times during their walk, when Boy would suddenly take off running and launch himself over piles of leaves and twigs. The turtle clung to the front of his pelt each time, chattering nervously as he was jolted about and nearly dropped on multiple occasions. However, despite the Human’s abrupt movements, he couldn’t help but feel secure in his arms. Being held steady by calloused hands had become a traumatizing part of this whole ordeal, but this was… different. In more ways than one, Boy reminded him of Strong Brother.

Girl, on the other hand, was different; if he had to choose between the two of them, he felt more inclined to trust her. Her calm, caring and sometimes worried manner was comforting. She was clearly strong and could be loud as well – was this just a universal trait in Humans? – but she seemed to be more reserved with her volume. Her hands were also smaller and gentler than Boy’s. Even when she’d been breaking him out of the moving prison, her tone and hands had stayed soft and kind, promising him that everything was going to be okay. She’d kept all of her promises so far – they were out of the terrible place, away from the two “goons” as she referred to them, and were heading towards the ocean.

The longer they walked, the calmer he could feel himself becoming. Even if he could only understand a portion of what was going on, he couldn’t help but feel safe. Still, he felt hungry to know more.

Speaking of hunger.

He curled slightly inwards, arms wrapping around his stomach as a loud grumble echoed from within his body.

“What was that?” Both humans froze in their tracks, heads swiveling around. He stiffened as well- were they being pursued? What was happening?

His stomach gurgled a second time, ignoring his shushing and attempts to stay still and quiet. Two pairs of eyes instantly fell on him.

“Holy crap- was that your stomach?”

He blinked in surprise. Wait – they were startled by him? Did Humans not have hunger sounds?

“Y-yes,” he finally answered in Family Tongue. “Need eat.”

The two teens stared back, blinking. “Um… come again?”

“Food.”

More blinking and glancing between each other.

He sighed tiredly. It had been a long day, and he didn’t know the correct Human Spoken Word translation. Why couldn’t they just understand? He patted his lower plastron with emphasis and spoke again, this time dragging out the sound. “Hungryyyyyy.”

The Humans hesitated, and for a moment he felt like he was going to cry with frustration. Then Girl finally spoke up, patting her own stomach and cocking her head. “It’s probably been a while since he last ate – maybe he’s hungry? Is that it? Are you hungry?”

The turtle bobbed his head in excited relief, patting his plastron again. “Hun-gerr-ee.”

“Right – hungry!” Girl laughed, and he felt his heart skip a beat and clench all at once. Her happy sounds reminded him of Small Brother. It felt like it had been a lifetime since he had last heard the orange speckled turtle laugh. “Well, we should be reaching the marina any minute – there’s usually a couple of shops that are still open at this hour, so I’m sure we can grab something to eat.”

“Speaking of which,” Boy suddenly squatted and sat his passenger on the ground, then stood back up and rolled his shoulders. “Ugh – my back is killing me. No offense dude, but you weigh a heck ton.”

The turtle shuffled his feet on the pine covered ground and cocked his head thoughtfully, considering the words. He wasn’t sure what they meant, but he could tell by the tone that they seemed despairing. After a moment, he nodded and pursed his lips in an imitation of the Human’s expression. “’Fense, Dood.”

Another surprised laugh bubbled out of Girl’s mouth, which she quickly stifled with her hands.

Boy shook his head, but his large grin and shaking shoulders betrayed the laughter that he was holding back. “I’m sorry – that was kind of rude. I was going to say, though, we’re getting close to the marina now so we should probably figure out what the plan is.” He pointed at Girl. “How about you guys stay here while I go rent the boat and grab us something to eat? I can text you or something when I’m ready, and you guys can come meet me at the docks.”

“Sounds good to me,” Girl nodded, then hesitated. She gestured in the direction they had been headed. “Wait –what if someone sees him? I know there’s probably not much of a crowd right now, but there’s bound to be security cameras and at least a couple of people that would freak out. Maybe we should cover him up?”

To the turtle’s horror and fascination, Boy reached down and grabbed the bottom of his pelt, then yanked it over his head to reveal a second layer underneath. Before he had a chance to gawk any further, Boy leaned over and dropped the outer pelt into his lap. “Here – take my hoodie.  It might not totally fit over your shell, but at least it will get you semi-covered.”

He stared down at the material in his lap, still pondering whether or not he should fling it away in disgust, when Boy suddenly turned, pushed through the bushes, and vanished into the night.

“Wait – where he going?” he whined softly. “Why leave?”

Pine needles crunched nearby as Girl joined him on the ground. She crossed her legs, resting her elbows on her knees and chin in hand, then leaned forward as she spoke softly. “I’m not sure how much of that you understood, but Casey is going to go get us a boat, okay? Then he’s going to text me – err, tell me when he’s ready - so that we can go join him at the water.”

“Water.” he repeated, bobbing his head. “Cay-cee go to water?”

Girl grinned, a small huff of air escaping her nose as her cheeks curved upwards. “He is. And speaking of Casey and I, let’s have a talk.”

[its-ya-boi-autumn]

Hi there! Hope you’re doing fine c: I’d like to request some Hisoka fluff where he does magic tricks for his s/o who is just absolutely amazed by it!

Hello!! I'm doing okay just woke up as I typed this and feeling some Hisoka right now 😂 probably gonna finish it up at work~

Of course~ I miss the magician tbh 🤭😂😂

You hadn’t been expecting anyone to come over until possibly later today. So when the door simply opened and you heard someone walk in, you were of course startled. Initially at least. Once you hurried down to check who just intruded into your home, you found a familiar face. Hisoka somehow hadn’t seemed to notice you yet and was busy shutting the door behind him. His hair was, oddly enough, down and his broad back was turned away from you. A simple light pink hoodie and blue jeans covered his body. Today must have just been a comfort day and he originally might not have planned on being out.

“Hisoka?” you mumbled softly. The man turned around to see you, amber eyes meeting yours. When he fully turned to face you, your skin flushed. Since you had only decided to wear a large t shirt to bed last night with no pants you suddenly became aware of your bare legs. Hisoka’s eyes didn’t linger too long however, squinting as he smiled at you.

“Good morning y/n~ I see you’re awake early, hmm?” he set his hands on his hips, tilting his head down at you as he walked towards you. You came out from the wall you were hiding behind, playing with the hem of your shirt and averting your eyes.

“Give me a second, I’m gonna go find some shorts to put on really quick...” you rushed back into your bedroom, finding the first pair of pajama shorts you saw and slipped them on before coming back out to see him. Hisoka was still there, waiting patiently for your return.

“Lovely~” he drawled, now letting his eyes wander freely. You crossed your arms over your chest, scratching lightly at your biceps in embarrassment. Hisoka was always known for being a little perverted but he had never actually put his hands on you or even tried to. Sometimes he’d tease, though it never seemed to go too far, especially not with you.

“So uh... what are you doing here so early? I didn’t know you had a key...” you uttered, gaining the courage to look him in the eyes. His usually sly smirk was still plastered on his face. His own arms crossed, smacking his hoodie string over his shoulder. It bothered you.

“I was just bored and figured I could come see you. It’s been a while, yes?” he kneeled down to your level. Now you were looking down at him, self conscious of your own body for some reason and covering your chest even more. You backed up a step for some space before answering.

“Yeah, it’s been a minute... did you have anything in mind or did you just come here to sit?” you didn’t know if that was the right wording for what you were asking but Hisoka chuckled nonetheless.

“Dear if you think I want anything explicit I would have initiated already,” he stood back up, moving closer to you and down to your ear, “unless that’s what you want...”

You shoved him away and couldn’t help the scoff that came out of you.

“No! I mean– not right now obviously.” you shot back at him, crossing your arms over your chest again. Hisoka tittered again, obviously enjoying his fun with you.

"You don't have to be so cautious love. Here," he peeled the hoodie he was wearing off of his lean body, fixing it before handing it down to you.

"If you're so worried about me watching your breasts move then just cover yourself with this, though I insist I have no intentions of that sort today." his attempt at reassurance worked slightly, allowing you to release some tension. You reluctantly drowned yourself in his hoodie, letting the sleeves fall over your hands. The shirt Hisoka wore was tight against his body, showing off his muscular physique. You pried your eyes away from him to avoid him getting any ideas even though he said he had none in the first place.

"Are you hungry?" you offered, already making your way for the kitchen to find something.

"No thank you, I've already eaten today. You should eat something small though, I understand you have a bad habit of forgetting yes?" he leaned against the archway of your kitchen, watching you rummage in the fridge for something. You found some frozen tv dinner in the freezer and set it aside to open it.

"Yeah, I'm surprised you even remembered that." you giggled, reading the instructions to properly cook the food. You opened the box placing it inside the microwave to start.

"Well of course I remembered! We wouldn't want you to starve now would we?" he straightened up and came over to you, pressing the buttons on the microwave because of your short height.

"Thank you. Yeah, I guess not." you faced him, watching him move his hands behind his back. He sighed, whipping out a deck of cards. He shuffled them for a few seconds before picking out a random set of 10, fanning them out before you.

"Pick a card love~" he cooed, smiling down at you. You never thought of Hisoka to be one for magic tricks, though people always did call him a magician. You thought it was just because of his strange attire that he normally wore but you guessed maybe he was an actual magician after all. He did in fact always have a deck of cards on hand randomly that he'd over-shuffle repeatedly. It seemed to be a nervous habit of his, if you could consider Hisoka nervous in any situation.

You didn't over think it too much, opting for the eighth card to your right.

"I know this trick already, Hisoka." you didn't mean to ruin his fun but you already knew how it was done. Though Hisoka didn't even seen perturbed by your comment.

"Go ahead take a look." he slid all of the other cards together, beginning to shuffle them all back into the deck. You peeked at the card in your hand. A 10 of hearts stared back at you. You memorized it of course and handed it back to him. Hisoka shuffled it into his deck a few times more. You already knew what was going to happen.

"Is this your card?"

Or, so you thought.

Sure, he held up the 10 of hearts and you nodded, unamused. However, when he put the card behind his back into the deck again, he made a surprised face. At first, you were struck with worry.

"What's wrong?" you started, already moving to see what happened. He backed away from you, a smile playing widely across his lips.

"Oh? What's this?" he slowly began to show a group of stems. Your brows furrowed in confusion. He yanked the flowers out from behind him. 10 bright red roses flared back at you. Your eyes widened as you glanced between him and the flowers, mouth agape in utter awe. Hisoka couldn't wipe the smile off of his face at your reaction.

"How'd you do that!?" you didn't notice yourself bouncing on your heels, eager for more. Hisoka handed the bundle of roses to you. They were so healthy and vibrant it nearly hurt your eyes to look at them.

"It's a secret dear, another one?" he offered, already pulling out his deck of cards again. You nodded frantically, ready for more. Hisoka was pleased to entertain you as you waited for your food to finish. Turning a string into chrysanthemums, balancing utensils with more support, and even leaving a temporary but cute mark on your wrist with his nail. His initials right in the middle of a small heart in black ink.

You couldn't help but bounce happily at the tricks, excitable about this new found ability he possessed.

"Who taught you how to do those things?" you questioned while taking your food out of the microwave. You set it down in the counter, watching the steam float in wisps above your head.

"My mother taught me at a young age." he slipped his deck of cards away, concealing them for another time. You nodded, listening but more focused on the food in front of you.

"You wanna watch something new? I have a few shows we can binge if you plan on staying all night." you stirred the potatoes around to cool them off slightly and cut up the steak into smaller portions for you to eat easier. You threw the peas away, they were never really that good to begin with.

"Of course~" His hands rubbed your shoulders before bending down to plant a small kiss into your cheek, making your skin burn.

[sailorsanghelios]

Some backstory fic for my Au’ra WOL

I meant to get this done during Au’ra April but uhh -looks at calendar- yeah that didn’t happen. But some backstory stuff for my Thel Vadam inspired Au’ra, Seiro, who I’ve posted stuff for before.  Uhh CW for fantasy racism stuff and imperialism, cause there’s a lot of Garlemald focus in this. 

----- It was a beautiful day, a sunny day, as he rolled down one of the vast hills that rolled across his homeland.

“ you won’t catch me, Papa!”

The tall Au’ra who followed after him, his face was hard to make out, more of a dark blur with horns then anything. And yet he could tell the older man was smiling, “I have never had a man escape me, and I will not let you be the first.”

He had giggled at his father before descending down the hill. His father had immediately broken from the jovial mood, “Seiro be careful!”

He had landed  right into the rice paddies below, gasping for breath as he re-emerged soaking wet. His mouth was barely above the water, his limbs and body were weighed down, and his head felt like it was being shoved down into the water below.

He looked up, hoping to see his father about to rescue him, and all he saw on the hill above before his head submerged a final time was a sleek soulless black uniformed figure.

“Seiro..”

Wait, that was…

—-

Seiro jolted awake, the fields of Doma had disappeared, into a stark white bedroom, the beautiful Doman sun faded into the cloudy overcast of Garlemald barely seeping into the window.

And Lord Veritas was peering over him looking very displeased. “Seiro aan Veritas” He had a tendency to use his full name, when he was displeased, emphasizing the “aan” portion. He motioned with his finger to get up, and Seiro didn’t spare a second, instantly getting up, and bowing to his benefactor.

“You’re still wearing your nightshirt… did you truly sleep until the afternoon, and did nothing productive all morning? Knowing I'll be arriving home today?” 

Seiro awkwardly crossed his arms around the offending garment in embarrassment, “I’m sorry Lord Veritas. The servants must not have awoken me.”

Seiro did suspect perhaps it was deliberate to make him look like a fool. During Lord Veritas’ two month stay in Bozja, Seiro had in essence been left in charge of the manor, a very large responsibility for any twelve year old, let alone a non Garlean one. And one the servants had obviously resented. He had heard them whispering, when they thought he couldn’t hear him, calling him names and talking about how degrading it was to have to serve him, even though Seiro himself only depended on them for necessities. 

“Only a child would sleep that long. A baby even. I am very disappointed in you.”

“Yes Lord Veritas.”

Lord Veritas gave out a sigh, almost dismissively “I hope you at least had good sleep. You looked quite intense. What were you dreaming about?”

Seiro realized this was a prompt for him to speak, and he had no idea how Lord Veritas could read him so well, and know what he’d been dreaming about, “I was dreaming about Doma...and my father- the samurai I think…” If he attempted to lie he knew that Lord Veritas would call him out on it.  And he never liked him referring to his father, the man who had killed Sosius eir Veritas. His son.

“You think?”

Seiro looked down to the ground, “... I.. I can’t remember. His face...or anything...”

“That is what I hoped for. He should only be remembered as a cautionary tale.” Lord Veritas looked at him from head to toe, “Stand up straight, boy,”

Before the command was even finished, Seiro did so, and Lord Veritas genuinely seemed surprised and caught off guard, “You’re taller than me.”

This shocked Seiro but there was no denying it. It was only by an ilm. “I think I grew while you were gone.” He sounded apologetic about it. The servants had been side-eying him a lot, for what felt like an unending appetite, and his clothes had felt unusually tight. As much as he didn’t want to be a burden, he’d probably have to ask for new ones. 

Seiro was surprised by what followed from Lord Veritas, “It suits you. You’ve grown so much over the past five years, Seiro. I never thought I’d miss that little boy so much. Those little horns..” Seiro couldn’t help but crack a small awkward smile, as Lord Veritas stroked the end of one of his horns, that were not quite as little and were beginning to sharpen and harden into their adult forms, “ And I was thinking about that, and you the entire time I was in Bozja.”

Seiro tilted his head in confusion.

“ I brought an orphan home with me. With all the success I had with taming you, I thought perhaps I could be of help to another aan child.”

“...what?” Seiro’s voice cracked childishly, “ Lord Veritas I’m.. are you sure?”  It was a rather bold question to ask, but Seiro also knew he wasn’t exactly taken in by choice. If his father, no if the samurai, hadn’t killed Lord Veritas’ son, then he probably would never have been noticed by him. “What will the senators think? I know they already-”

“ Do not concern yourself with such things. It isn’t your lot to worry about Garlean politics. Now make yourself presentable. You don’t want our new...resident to know how lazy you are, do you?”

“I’m not-” he began protesting, but then the glassy cold gaze silenced him, “Yes Lord Veritas.”

‘Make a good first impression.”

---

Seiro had come down, half an hour later, ready to prove himself to whatever interloper this was. 

All dressed up, and hoping that no one would take notice of how ill fitting his clothes were, Seiro made his way into the dining room, barely getting a look at the small hairy figure before he heard a  metallic clang and he was suddenly pulled back, shouting in pain and surprise. 

The little interloper turned around and began laughing, uproariously, as Seiro realized in mortification, that his horn had become caught into one of the light fixtures on the wall. He began pulling at it in vain, though from behind he was unable to figure out how to unstick it. 

Lord Veritas had gotten up, sighing, almost too dramatically, and walked toward Seiro, almost effortlessly freeing his horn. “I told you to make a good first impression.” he hissed.

“I didn’t mean to I-” he felt his face flush as the little one kept on laughing at him, “What are you laughing  at?” he demanded. 

He had assumed when Lord Veritas first entered his bedroom, and announced this new housemate, that it’d be another Au’ra. He had hoped it’d be another Au’ra, he never expressed it, but it made him sad sometimes the only time he ever saw his own kind was when he looked in the mirror.  But this little creature, covered in fur, was obviously the farthest thing from an Au’ra. He had never seen one in person, but he knew from his lessons on the many provinces and peoples of Garlemald, it was a Hrothgar. In fact he should have expected it, the Hrothgar were the natives of Bozja. 

“Seiro, don't be a bully. Trajan has had a long journey, and is still adjusting to a new place.”

“I don’t care. I will not be laughed at. Especially not by a little kid.”

“Then maybe don’t be so stupid looking.” 

The smug little face on the furry little creature made Seiro’s blood boil, but he was stopped by a placating hand

“ Don’t be so clumsy, and watch where you’re swinging those horns of yours,” Lord Veritas said, barely even blinking at the fuming preteen. He turned back to Trajan, “I'm sorry, boy. Seiro is used to being an only child. Even before he came into my care, he was a very pampered and spoiled only child. I’m sure he is willing to learn to cooperate though. Aren’t you Seiro?” Seiro found himself cringing as Lord Veritas patted his back. 

“...yes Lord Veritas,” Seiro felt very overwhelmed by this, and he still felt groggy enough from his sleep that his patience was thin.

Seuro sat down, in his usual spot next to Lord Veritas, and across from Trajan.  He avoided eye contact with the Hrothgar, but he could hear the sounds of Trajan eating loud and obnoxious. It surprised him that Lord Veritas wasn’t scolding him, he knew if he ever ate like that he’d be in deep trouble. 

Ifa anything Lord Veritas seemed to encourage it, “I’m glad to see you have such a hearty appetite.” He looked over at Seiro, “I remember with you, how long it took for you to accept a meal from me. Or to do much of anything really. I genuinely thought you were trying to hunger strike me. But you gave in eventually.”

Those eyes were bearing into him again, and Seiro shifted awkwardly,“...I think I thought if I didn’t listen to you, you’d send me back..” His memory was faded, but he still vaguely could recall the way he smashed plates of food given to him, and screamed and cried, and refused anything given to him. His seven year old mind had hoped and prayed that maybe if he was terrible enough, he’d be sent back to his mother as a lost cause. 

“Why would you want that?” Trajan snorted. 

Seiro looked down at his plate, feeling the judgmental stare of the younger boy, and simply shrugged. It wasn’t something that he could actually put into words. Both because it’d upset Lord Veritas, and honestly...he wasn’t sure. 

Lord Veritas seemed to have an answer though, “Pride clouds judgement. I’d say that it came from youth, but knowing the samurai...perhaps Seiro simply didn’t know better. A habit I am very glad I broke you of before it was too late.” 

Lord Veritas’ dark eyes always looked so glassy, and the way Seiro’s own gold eyes seemed to reflect back when he looked back in their inky abyss, always made it feel like he was being looked through. His food felt like it went down him painfully, and any hint of appetite felt like it was gone. “ I want to go.”

“Whatever for?”

“He looks sad.'' Trajan’s helpful reply, there seemed to be a curl to his overly toothy expression, that made Seiro’s face flush with shame.

“I'm not hungry I guess and umm..” he racked his brain for an excuse, “ the history tutor is coming tomorrow, and I want to study.” 

“Indeed he is. I am interested to hear your progress in your studies.”

Seiro found himself stumbling nearly tripping and invoking more amusement in his misery, as he bolted from his seat and out of the dining room, barely hearing Lord Veritas’ admonishments not to run indoors before he ran up the grand staircase and into the safety of his room, away from prying eyes. 

His room had always felt like both a sanctuary and a prison to him. Before Seiro had been brought to the manor it had been a guest room for dignitaries and even five years later it retained that feeling of being comfortable but devoid of personality. Truly the only sign of a child living in this room, was the pile of school books Seiro was digging through before finally sitting in his plush reading chair.

He was embarrassed to realize any attempt to refresh his knowledge on the properties of ceruleum engines led to his vision blurring with tears. Especially when he heard his door open with no knock before which could only be one person.

“Seiro, what was that display at the table? And why are you crying?”

“ I don’t know”, he choked out, “ I just don’t know. “

Seiro looked up and was surprised to see the look on Lord Veritas’ face was rather sympathetic as he knelt down and hugged the boy, making him drop his book in shock.

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be so hard on you Sosius, I just-“ he realized the name he just said and suddenly disengaged from Seiro, revealing a face of realization and genuine anguish.

“ Lord Veritas…” Seiro said softly, “I’m sorry..,”

He shook his head, as he stood up straight, “Don’t be my boy. You did nothing wrong.”

“But my father did.”

The words felt heavy in the room as if they were echoing in a cave. But Lord Veritas responded very gently, “you are not your father. And besides...I will hate your sire until the day I die, for what he took from me. But at the same time, how can I really fault him? My only son was a fool of a man, who thought he was invincible. Who poked a trained samurai, one of the greatest warriors in Doma, until he broke. And Sosius was not strong. He was rather sickly in fact at least in his childhood. He could barely exert himself without nearly suffocating himself to death. It wasn’t until we conquered more territories, learned more about the magical cures of these places that he became more healthy. But certainly not healthy enough to be in the Imperial Legions. And he always resented that, and for some reason he kept on being rewarded for how bloodthirsty he was toward the aans. He desperately wanted nothing but to prove himself.  And someone finally had enough of it and ran him through.”

Seiro had never heard Lord Veritas speak much about his son, let alone so candidly, and he couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t be offensive and get him in more trouble.

“I’ll be honest by the time he died, I hadn’t talked to that boy in years. I never saw eye to eye with him. I dare say I couldn’t stand him, and he felt the same toward me. But he was still my son. My heir. And how he turned out, I only had myself to blame.” He gave a wistful sigh, “His mother had died when he was so young, and I poured myself into my work, barely able to even look at the boy. And then when I finally did I hated what I saw, but there was little I could do to ever influence him,”

At this point, it was as if Lord Veritas wasn’t even looking at him, and suddenly his eyes focused back on Seiro, “I will say you are a much more agreeable child then Sosius ever was, with much more promise.  If you were a Garlean by blood, you’d go very far. And that's part of why I took in another boy.”

Yet again Lord Veritas’s eyes seemed to wander around the room, past the still sniveling and confused boy, “I’ve been alive a long time. I remember before the empire was ever an empire. Back when my family’s title of “Lord” still meant something. But at the same time it also meant nothing, because Garlemald meant nothing. And yet as we expand, I find myself wondering why we don’t allow the Domans, or the Bozjans, or the Ala Mhigans, and all the others, have the same opportunities we do. Everyone is so quick to forget how we were once on the bottom. No matter how I train you, and no matter how much skill you have, you will never have the opportunities my foolish son had. And that’s quite a shame.``

“... Is that why you took me in as a ward? You saw potential in me?”

Lord Veritas shrugged, “I’ll be honest, my boy. I was angry. That the samurai killed himself and escaped the consequences of his actions of killing my son. Or at least escaped them coming from my own hand. I wanted justice. And you were that justice. He took my son away, so his son is now mine. That was my thought, when I met you. An eye for an eye.”

Seiro shifted uncomfortably. It did seem like a fair exchange, in theory but… it still made him uncomfortable to realize he was essentially collateral. 

“...but then I saw you as another opportunity, to not repeat my mistakes that I made with Sosius. And then I became fond of you.  And I find myself wishing you could have been my trueborn son. And I feel the same toward Trajan, from my time meeting him.”

“Thank you Lord Veritas. It means a lot to hear that.”  Seiro said in shock. 

Lord Veritas sighed, “And I probably should have told you before picking the boy up. I’ll be honest another reason I did so was I always worried you were lonely. It was always so hard to find anyone in the Senate or the Ministry, who didn’t just view you as some pet pro of mine, let alone anyone who’d allow any sort of play date with their child. And now you’re too old for such things. But what kind of life could you be having, just reading,studying, and training all day. You and Trajan can give each other companionship, and can understand each other. Both as children, and as aan.”

“I’m already happy, Lord Veritas.” Seiro said, “I’m fine being by myself.”

“And that's why I didn’t tell you. I knew that’s what you’d say. But give the boy a chance will you? Maybe apologize to him for your behavior.”

Seiro wanted to protest, for he had done nothing wrong. That little furball had been the one who had humiliated him in the first place. But he knew better than to argue. ‘I’ll do it-”

“Do it now.”  The words were firm. And final.

------

The little Hrothgar’s room was similarly sparsely decorated as Seiro's, perhaps even less so. It still had that smell of dust to it that Seiro still distinctly remembered his own room having when he first entered it five years before. 

Trajan was busy drawing, the childish scrawls that were incomprehensible reminded him a lot of the drawings Seiro did when he was younger. It was a good way to pass the time in this house.

“What is that?” Seiro asked, trying to break the ice.

Trajan looked up, frowning at him, before covering the paper up. “Go away.”

“ Is it from Bozja?” As a child, especially when he first arrived, Seiro had found himself drawing things from Doma, such as the tigers that his father had brought home before as trophies, or the sheep that sometimes strayed too close to their settlement before their shepherds hurried them off.  

The boy glared at him, making a face similar to the fury that had been frozen on those tigers Seiro’s father had brought home long ago, “ I’m just drawing, it’s none of your business.”

“What’s Bozja like?” Seiro asked, trying a different approach, “ I know it's one of the oldest territories, so you’ve always been Garlean right? Where are your parents?”

The boy’s face contorted, focusing more on his drawing than on Seiro, “What sort of question is that? Dead of course. I think. I never really knew them. And that's pretty normal in Bozja. I had an uncle, but he just left me at the orphanage a few months ago. I was lucky they had a bed. I don’t know where he went.” 

Seiro was shocked by how nonchalant Trajan was, as if he were simply discussing the weather. “I’m so sorry I… I lost my father… and I don’t know what happened to my mother.”

It was easier for Seiro to process the loss of his father. He knew it happened, he knew the man was dead. But the last time he’d ever seen his mother, she was screaming and pleading, after the Garleans had torn him from her arms. And for her husband’s crimes, she too had lost everything, all of her beautiful hair pins and kimonos, all of the status that came from marrying into the Byakuyas, their ancestral home itself, and of course her only son. And the older Seiro got the more grim he realized her probable fate was. In many ways, it was easier just to not think about her. 

“Lord Veritas told me everything about you. You’re not like me, so shut up.”

Seiro’s brow furrowed as he crossed his arms, “I came here to apologize for earlier. Lord Veritas wants us to be friends.”

“But you don’t want to be my friend. And I sure don’t want to be yours. So leave me alone.”

Seiro didn’t expect this kind of rejection to hurt so much, but he took a step back, mouth agape.

Trajan continued, “ You just think you’re better than me because you’re bigger than me and have been here longer. You’re no better than all the big boys at the orphanage. You just want me gone, but I’m here, and I’m going to make you gone. Already he likes me better than you.”

Seiro fumed, at this childish logic, “Fine. If you hate me, then I hate you too. I hope he realizes his mistake and sends you back to your shite orphanage!”

The door slammed with an extreme force that echoed through the hall, as Seiro left the room, returning back to his own room, to have a good cry. 

[emospritelet]

30 “I’ve been practising social isolation for years anyway”

This is in the Desperation verse (I’m asking for more prompts because this is a slow-burn)

Prompt list here

[AO3]

x

Once she had satisfied herself that Gold would be staying in bed, Belle decided to head out to collect a few more of her things. If she was going to be staying with the Golds for the duration of the lockdown, she would need more than one change of clothes. She glanced at the inn as she passed, wondering how Ruby and Granny were doing, and how they would fare after three weeks with no income. At least if the Mayor was organising grocery deliveries, no one would starve. 

Bag packed, she checked that the library and apartment were locked up, and glanced at her watch. It was six-forty, and she hurried back, aware of the clock ticking down to eight p.m. Few residents were out in the streets, those that were hurrying with bulging bags of groceries. The clink of bottles came from most of them; some people would be drinking their way through the lockdown, it seemed. She supposed it was one way to cope.

The sun was beginning to sink below the horizon in a blaze of orange, spilling warm light across the town and sending her shadow stretching out in front of her as she headed east along the road towards the edge of town, and the forest that hugged its border. Gold’s house looked bright and cheerful in the setting sun, and she closed the gate behind her, hurrying up the path. Closing and locking the door behind herself felt almost like relief, and she carried her bag into the lounge, stowing it by the side of the couch and heading to the kitchen to wash her hands.

Gold had said he would eat something if she made it, so she checked the freezer, finding it full of glass dishes with lids, each containing enough food for a large portion for one or—as she suspected—modest portions for two. Each dish had its own handwritten label: spicy veg bake, mac & cheese, shepherd’s pie, chicken casserole. Glancing at the chalkboard with its meal plan, she noticed that he had written shepherd’s pie, broccoli and carrots for that day, so she took one of the dishes out of the freezer, setting it on the worktop and taking the apple pie from the fridge. It took her a little time to work out how to use the oven; it was old, and the markings around the dials had faded almost to nothing. After some difficulty, she managed to turn it on, and left it heating up before heading upstairs to check on Bae. He was still curled up in bed, blinking at her sleepily from his blankets.

“Let’s check that fever again,” she said, and he sat up, putting the thermometer in his mouth. She waited until the thermometer beeped, and Bae squinted at it.

“One-oh-oh-point-nine,” he said, and Belle frowned.

“It’s going up again,” she said, and glanced at her watch. “You should take another one of those pills. We need to bring your fever down to help you sleep.”

She pushed one of the paracetamol from its packet, and Bae took it obediently, though he pulled a face at the taste, and coughed into the crook of his arm after he had swallowed. Belle wanted to stroke his hair to send him some comfort, but it was unwise to touch him any more than was necessary, so she kept her hands at her sides.

“How do you feel?” she asked kindly, and Bae pulled a face.

“Everything hurts.”

“Well, I’m not surprised,” she said. “It will until you get better, I expect. Are you hungry?”

He wrinkled his nose.

“Ruby sent over some chocolate chip cookies,” she added. “And an apple pie.”

There was a mild look of interest at that.

“Apple pie?” he said. “From Granny’s?”

“Mhmm.” Belle smiled to herself. “I usually like my apple pie warm with ice cream. How about you?”

“Yeah!” said Bae. “Can I have a piece? Did Papa say it’s okay?”

“He did. Let me get you some.”

She turned towards the door, reaching for the handle.

“How is Papa?”

Belle turned back slowly, and Bae was watching her anxiously.

“He was in bed last time I checked,” she said. “I was going to make him some dinner, so I’ll check on him again.”

“Okay. Tell him I’m sorry I made him sick.”

“Oh…” Belle stepped closer. “Sweetie, it’s not your fault. This disease is all over town.”

“I know,” said Bae soberly. “And Papa had to go out to get me medicine.”

“And I’m sure he’d do it again in a heartbeat,” she said gently. “You two really look after each other, don’t you? Quite the team.”

He smiled at that.

“Yeah. I guess.”

“That’s why I know you’re both gonna be fine,” she said. “I bet you have plans for things you want to do together when you’re better, right?”

“When it’s warmer, I’m gonna help plant the peas and beans,” said Bae immediately. “And Papa said we can go fishing on Leroy’s boat!”

“There,” she said. “That sounds like a lot of fun to have once you’re both well, hmm? So you rest and get better, and before you know it, you’ll be helping your papa catch those fish.”

Bae’s smile grew a little.

“Okay,” he said, settling back in the pillows.

“I’ll bring you a piece of pie,” she said.

It seemed to take her twice as long to do things as it normally would, and she put this down to trying to find her way around a strange kitchen. Once she had worked out the system Gold had for the cupboard contents it was easier; he seemed to be meticulously organised in everything he did. She found a head of broccoli in the fridge, and some carrots that looked to be fresh from the garden, still with dark earth clinging to them.

She took Bae his apple pie, warmed through and with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and was pleased to see him sit up and look enthusiastic about eating it. Her feet were hurting after a day of being on them, and she flopped down in the chair beside his bed with a sigh as he began eating. Five minutes. Five minutes and I’ll check on that food. I should check on Rum, too. He’s been very quiet.

Bae licked ice cream from his spoon, eyeing her curiously. There was a drip on his chin, a pale yellow streak running down from his lower lip. He blinked, seeming to notice it, and used the spoon to scrape it off, licking it clean again. He smacked his lips, looking thoughtful.

“Are you Papa’s girlfriend?” he asked suddenly, and Belle felt her mouth drop open.

“Oh! No, no we just met,” she said hurriedly. “I’ve only been in town three weeks. Haven’t really had time to get to know anyone.”

“Oh.” Bae dug in the pie with his spoon. “That’s okay. Granny keeps saying he should find one, and since you went to Granny’s for pie, I thought maybe it was you.”

Belle tried to hold in her giggles, even as a blush was rising in her cheeks.

“I didn’t see Granny,” she said. “Ruby gave me the pie. She said it was your favourite.”

“It is. Well, I like the pumpkin too, but they won’t have that until fall. Ruby’s the coolest. She gives me cookies!”

“She seems to like you a lot,” said Belle, and he grinned.

“She’s like Red the wolf-girl in my book,” he said.

“What book is that?”

“The Enchanted Forest. It’s my favourite.”

Belle glanced at the nightstand, where a thick, hardback book sat. She patted it with a hand.

“This one?”

“Yeah. Red’s a werewolf. And she kind of eats someone, but it isn’t her fault! And - and her Granny is a werewolf too, but she can control it. And she has a crossbow! Granny, not Red.”

“Sounds like an exciting story,” she said, and Bae nodded vigorously.

“It’s just one of the stories,” he said. “There’s a whole bunch of ‘em. Sometimes I like to pretend that they’re stories about people in Storybrooke.”

“Like Ruby and Red the wolf-girl?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm.” Belle put her head to the side. “Well, I have to take your Dad some food, but I could read to you later, if you like.”

“Yes please.”

“Okay then.” she pushed to her feet. “I’ll be back to collect your bowl, okay?”

“Thanks, Belle.”

Belle smiled to herself as she picked up the thermometer and left the room. A sweet boy. Kind and thoughtful. Like his father.

She washed the thermometer and her hands thoroughly, and paused outside Gold’s bedroom, listening. There was no sound from within, so she knocked quietly, hearing a muffled sound that might have been an invitation to enter. She opened the door, eyes widening as she took in the sight of Gold curled into a ball in the blankets, shivering.

“Hey,” she said gently. “How are you feeling?”

He shook his head a little, and she sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Can you sit up?” she prompted. “We should check your fever.”

It seemed to take a lot of effort for him to turn over onto his back, but he managed it, and Belle pushed the thermometer into his mouth. She could almost feel the heat coming from him, and Gold sighed, the thermometer bouncing on his lower lip. 

“I don’t need to read that thing to know you’re burning up,” she said.

He gave her a weary shrug, and the thermometer beeped. Belle took it out, shaking her head at the reading.

“One-oh-three,” she said. “No wonder you feel bad. You should take some of that paracetamol.”

Gold shook his head.

“Bae needs it.”

“So do you,” she insisted.

“I’ll be okay.”

He let his head fall back against the pillows with a heavy sigh, and Belle shook her head.

“Please,” she said. “It might help you sleep. At least take two tonight. I’m sure I could get whoever’s bringing the groceries on Friday to drop off some more.”

“What if there aren’t any more?”

“There will be,” she said firmly. “Deliveries are still being made, and the Mayor is dividing everything up to distribute to the townsfolk. You don’t have to suffer, Bae will be just fine. I promise.”

Gold pushed himself up on shaking arms, hair falling over his face. He was sweating, the white T-shirt showing wet patches on his chest and beneath his arms. He ran his hands over his face with a sigh, and Belle’s heart went out to him.

“How is he?” he asked.

“Eating apple pie and ice cream,” she said, making him smile. “And worrying about you. He says it’s his fault you’re sick. Don’t give him any more reason to worry.”

Gold gave her a level look.

“Emotional blackmail, hmm?” he said dryly.

“For your own good.”

His mouth twitched a little.

“Well, perhaps you’re right,” he said. 

“Good,” she said. “Let me get your pills. I was making you some dinner, as well.”

Gold pulled a face.

“Not hungry.”

“I know, but you need to keep up your strength,” she said. “You should drink some water, too. You’re sweating.”

He looked down at himself, as though he hadn’t noticed, and nodded.

“Yes. Would you mind bringing some more? If it’s not too much trouble?”

“I’ll bring some up with the food,” she said. “Just eat what you can.”

“Did you make something for yourself, too?”

“I’ll have what you’re having. Which is shepherd’s pie. I did some broccoli and carrots with it.”

“Thank you.” He sent her a weary smile. “Make sure you get home before it gets dark.”

“Lockdown, remember?” she said. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for the next three weeks.”

“Of course. Sorry, my brain’s fried.” He rubbed his eyes. “I offered you my bed, didn’t I?”

“Yes, and I told you I’d sleep on the couch,” she said. “That hasn’t changed, so stay where you are.”

“You should have left while you could,” he said, with a grin. “I’m afraid sharing a house with two invalids is going to be fairly dull even without the lack of contact with the outside world.”

“I think I can handle it.”

He smiled at that, and she pursed her lips.

“Besides,” she said. “I couldn’t leave you two suffering in social isolation. No matter how much the Mayor’s guidelines tell me to.”

Gold’s smile was rueful.

“I’ve been practising social isolation for years, anyway,” he said, and she giggled.

“Well, looks like I’m here to change all that.”

He nodded, his eyes warm as he looked at her, despite his evident tiredness.

“It’s very good of you to stay and help us,” he said. “You have your own life, your own concerns. You’re putting yourself in danger just being here.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to get any rest back home,” she said simply, “knowing I’d turned my back on a sick family when I could have helped.”

“Even so,” he said. “You didn’t have to do it. I’m grateful, Belle. Truly.”

“Well,” she said. “When you live in a small town, you help each other out, right? I’m just trying to fit in.”

His smile grew.

“You fit in just perfectly.”

[vorefluff]

Jello

This story has the V.ore thing in it. And some foodplay but it’s just jello. Es a fluff story. Very safe.  1600-ish words

-----------------------------------------------

John wanders out of his room, rubbing his eyes. Most the time it was fine, but sometimes losing the ability to focus on anything really bothered him. He used to be able to read for a solid ten or eleven hours straight, even skipping meals. Not that it was a good habit, of course. Now he was lucky to be able to read for even close to two hours at a time before his brain felt fried.

Coming down the hall, he notices something that makes him stop. 

“Is that blacklight?” he asks, bewildered. 

A little ‘mhmm’ of confirmation sounds from the dining room. Peeking over, John sees Raknu sitting at the table, munching on what looked like glowing goo. A normal lightbulb sits on the counter.

“Are we throwing a party or something? I’m pretty sure that’s against the rules.”

“No. I don’t think I ever would either. Parties seem… invasive, when hosted at your own home.”

“Then why…?” 

“I felt like it,” Raknu answers simply, taking another bite of… jello was that? Glowing green jello that looks rather radioactive. 

“What’s that?” John says, coming closer and gesturing to the back of Raknu’s hand, which had a big glowing spot on it. 

Raknu shrugs. 

“Can I have some of the glowey food stuff?”

“There’s a portion for you and Gryphon in the fridge.”

“Why didn’t you say that sooner?” John says, making a beeline for the fridge. 

“I was hoping you wouldn’t ask, so I could have it.”

John snorts and pulls out one of the two containers of the jello. He bumps the silverware drawer closed with his hip as he makes his way to the table to join Raknu. John considers the dish for a moment, then digs out a small spoonful to put into Raknu’s bowl. Raknu’s face lights up and he smiles, happy to see the little extra jello. 

If John’s being honest, he felt more like playing with the glowing green goo than actually eating it. The thought crosses his mind to spread it out on the table, shrink down, and pretend to die of radiation poisoning in the radioactive wasteland. 

Then again, it’s pretty dangerous being small-sized around Raknu. At least, that’s what the very intense dramatic emotional part of his brain says - that he’ll 100% get eaten with that jello if he shrinks down to play with it. Although logically, he knows that Raknu is much more of a gentleman than that and would have the decency to ask first and let him decline. 

John’s eyes drift to Raknu’s midsection. Eh. Better not risk it.

Raknu raises an eyebrow at him, catching where John is looking. “If you want to see, you just have to ask,” he says, putting a hand over his stomach.

“Nope. No thanks,” John says, tearing his gaze back to his jello and taking his first bite. “It’s really good. Did you put extra sugar in this?”

Raknu nods. John finds himself watching Raknu’s throat as he swallows. 

Nope, not thinking about that right now. Now is the time to eat jello. Or play with the jello. It looks fun to poke at and jiggle. Or enjoy the blacklight. It’s doubtful that it’s going to stay up for long, and it’s fun to play around with.  

The more he tries not to think about The Thing, the more it rudely shoves it’s way to the front of his mind. Reverse psychology? Ehhhh. Not gonna try it. Maybe just a focus shift instead of a complete change? He thinks of his own guts filled with the radioactive jello instead and snickers, finally able to eat the green treat in peace.

“Are you going to share the joke?” 

“Nope.”

Raknu shrugs and brings his empty bowl to the kitchen, washing it out and putting it on the drying rack. John gets an idea, and leaves a few bites of the stuff, heading to the kitchen with it to find a lid and put it back in the fridge. 

“Are you going to finish that?” Raknu asks, peeking at John’s bowl. 

“You’re not allowed to have it.”

Raknu sighs dramatically. As he leaves the kitchen, John catches Raknu licking the glowing spot on the back of his hand, which confuses him even more. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Blaze, would ya be willin’ to risk possibly maybe getting sick for a video?”

Blaze looks up at the spellcaster distrustfully. “Why?”

“Because I have an idea.”

“What idea?” 

“We have glow in the dark jello that lowkey looks radioactive and would make for a great aesthetic.” 

Blaze looks uncertain.

“Please?” 

He fidgets, looking elsewhere. 

“You don’t have to, that’s cool too.” 

“I… guess I could do it,” Blaze says, crossing his arms over his midsection. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, now go away before I change my mind.”

“That’s the whole point of staying to double check though. If you would change your mind then it’s not proper consent and I’d just be peer pressuring you into it which ain’t cool.”

Blaze grumbles. 

“What was that? I didn’t catch it.” 

“Go away and I won’t change my mind.” 

“Does that mean if I stay you will change your mind?”

“No! That’s not what I meant! I’ll do it! Now go away! Fuck off!” Blaze says, exasperated.  

John clasps his hands together and points at Blaze with both index fingers. “Now are you saying you’ll do it just to get me to go away or-”

“John I swear to the devil I will tear your face off.”

John snickers and holds up his hands. “Alright, alright, I’m going,” he says, backing out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blaze pokes at the jello distrustfully, watching it jiggle in the blacklight. "It looks like it's going to possess me and melt me from the inside out."

A small John clambers over Blaze's hand and onto the jello. He digs out a small piece and munches on it. It's a bit disappointing, because even though it looks massive, the only little bit that he can fit in his mouth feels as small as a crumb. 

He drops the rest of his handful and stands up, his arms straight out in front of him like one of the undead in one of those horror movies. "Ohhhhhh nooooooo I've been possessed. I'm melllltinnnn- IPE-" John yelps, flailing as his foot breaks through the surface of the jello.

Blaze snickers and picks the little man up, carefully setting him aside. John shakes jello off his foot and glances up at the clock. 

"We should get started,"

"...Jello first?"

John nods. "Yup yup."

Blaze picks up the bowl and takes a bite, his face immediately screwing up with disgust. John watches his throat as he swallows. 

"Is that the face you make when you eat me?"

"No, that face is worse. You're gross."

"I'm offended. I should taste like Skittles."

"...Skittles?"

"Because I'm gay."

Blaze looks even more confused as he takes another large bite of jello.

John sighs. "Taste the rainbow?"

Finally Blaze's face lights up in understanding. "Oh! Gay!"

"There we go."

Blaze glowers as he eats the third and final bite of jello. John puts on his oxygen mask and waits for Blaze's hand. Blaze hesitates a moment before offering it, but as soon as it's there, John climbs on. It’s sorta fun, being this small. There’s definitely perks, like being able to be picked up and carried like a little bird. Probably best not to jump and try to fly though. Or be dropped. 

“Good to go?” Blaze asks.

“Yup yup.”

"Alright. Down the hatch, I guess," Blaze mumbles and sighs, opening his mouth for John.

The little spellworker climbs in with a practiced ease, still a bit wary of Blaze's teeth. John clicks on his blacklight flashlight, shining it around at the glowing residue. It sorta looks cool. Mostly weird though. Blaze swallows, pulling John's legs into his throat. Another one had him up to his shoulders, and with a third he was completely gone, pulled into the heartbeat-less flesh. Despite how many times they had done this, John still got distracted and fascinated by the sound of lungs and a few other internal organs working around them working around him. There were little bits of green leaving a trail down Blaze's throat.

John falls into the vampire's stomach. He snickers at hearing a little welcoming growl from around him while Blaze shifts uncomfortably. He muses about whether or not guts have a mind of their own, or whether it's just some subconscious thought. People talk to their stomach frequently as if it's a different person, or at least think the words even if they don't say it out loud. Like, 'I know you're hungry but settle down, we will have food in half an hour' or 'I just ate, why are you still growling at me'. If a stomach is a separate mind, then can someone reincarnated as one? Not another human, just the guts of a human. The idea is sorta funny to think about.

John leans into the walls heavily. It’s a habit he’s picked up recently, although he can’t tell if it’s supposed to be affectionate or just to annoy Blaze. 

He shines a blacklight on the area, looking at what he had to work with. The jello looked kinda like a bunch of semi-transparent glowing rocks on an alien planet. At least, they did when they weren't sliding and bouncing from the constant little movements from Blaze and his guts.  John pushes one of the jello chunks, sending it sliding across the flesh room.

He pulls his camera from one of his belt pouches. This might actually be cooler than he expected. Or at the very least, be more amusing than it had any right to be.

[olietus]

Humans are space orcs - Paradise

More Devin and Zolt'chk. This is a bit of a long one, and since I'm on mobile I can't add a "read more" atm. Sorry! This is mostly to practice on world building and description, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

As always, any advice, constructive criticism and writing prompts/suggestions are more than welcome! (:

------

It had been a little over three days since Zolt'chk had been kidnapped by the human called Devin. At first he had been terrified of her, and while he was still extremely wary of her, the fear had slowly started to be replaced by confusion and frustration. Since their departure had been rather tumultuous, they hadn't been able to procure any rations, and there was nothing to drink either. This meant that the human grew increasingly "hangry", in her own words, which apparently meant that she was so hungry that she got increasingly furious. Zolt wasn't entirely sure how that worked, but it wasn't all too surprising since humans were a very violent predator species, after all. Secretly he had hoped that she'd starve to death (as her incessant complaining was getting rather old), but apparently humans were able to stay alive for quite a long time without food. Not so much without water, though, and due to dehydration the human had now suffered from a rather severe headache and disorientation for the past day. Still, she remained in her seat in the cockpit, furiously searching for the nearest port. Due to the risk of them being caught if they landed in more commercial ports, they'd already passed a couple of stations and planets, and each time they did, Devin got more and more desperate.

Zolt had decided to not bother her, as he really didn't want to end up being eaten. Instead he'd made himself a bit of a nest in the back of the little ship, using a couple of space suits and oxygen tubes to make it soft and cozy; the vessel wasn't equipped with any proper sleeping quarters, as it was only meant for short transport and maintenence runs.  He'd been trying to finally get some sleep, as the first 30-something hours had been nerve wracking and had rendered him unable to relax at all. Exhaustion had started to get the better of him now, though, and as he curled up in his nest he was already falling asleep.

He was abruptly woken up by a loud rumble and a tremble that went through the ship, and he raised his head to look around in confusion. The ship creaked again and then, with a final loud 'thunk', the ship went still and quiet. Had they landed? The big arachi stubled to his feet, but instantly fell back down as a raging roar reached him, and Devin shot out from the cockpit, rushing past him to unlock the doors. She pressed the airlock button at least six times, clearly incredibly impatient. Zolt slowly moved over towards her, cowering slightly.

"Where are we?", he asked cautiously, just as the airlock hissed and allowed them through.

"Arbor V.", she replied shortly.

Zolt turned to look at her. Her face was stern and she was biting her lip. He didn't know what that behaviour meant in itself, but it was clear that she felt tense. As she should. Arbor V was an infamous miniature planet where crime ran rampant and almost half the planet was under martial law. The rest was ruled by several different warlords and clans that constantly warred with each other over land and resources. Most of the planet's natural resources consisted of precious minerals and forests. Arbor V was, despite everything, a very beautiful planet in its own right. Its skies were a beautiful, warm tone of pink and lilac during the days, which then shifted into a velvety emerald green towards the evening, before the night sky grew black and dotted with trillions of bright stars. During the day the two brilliant twin suns shone brightly above, leaving the surface at a comfortable, balmy temperature. During the night the planet's neighbour became visible; the big red planet Kocari, that even though it was remote, took up a large portion of the night sky. The soil on Arbor V was as red as the planet above, its cliffs and rocks white as chalk, and the vast forests were a mix of stunning, brilliant purples and blues. During night the forests and its creatures turned bright with bioluminescence, and small flying insects set the night ablaze with their intricate lightshows. If one didn't know the truth about this planet, it would surely be named a paradise.

As the two aliens stepped out of the little ship, they looked around and found themselves in a rather elegant-looking port, filled with ships from many different planets, creeds and classifications. Devin could spot a human military ship a few rows down, but business around it seemed to go on as normal. The general agreement on Arbor V was that as long as outsiders didn't mess with the powers that be and they didn't stay longer than necessary, they'd be left alone. It was a rather remote area in civilized space, so those outsiders who came here usually did so out of outmost need, not will, and would thus agree to these terms. Much like Devin herself. She needed food, money and a new ship. She could probably acquire all of them here, though with rather varying difficulty.

As they walked down the ramp they were met by a small bat-like creature with large floppy ears, short reddish fur and six appendages; two arms, four legs. It had a short fluffy tail, and wore the dark green uniform that adorned all space port personnel. She was flanked by two massive guards with long, triple jointed arms and short, sturdy legs. Their singular eyes were trained on the newcomers, and each of them carried a massive rifle. Their red uniforms signaled military. The bat raised one of her clawed hands and motioned towards the two newcomers to approach. They did so without questioning it, and the litte port master stared up at them with her three beady eyes. In her other hand she held a tablet.

"Please state your name, species, sex, allegiance and the purpose of your visit."

The human sighed and crossed her arms as she was impatient to get going, but complied.

"Devin, human, female, no allegiance, and we're just here to stock up on rations, fuel and to upgrade our vehicle."

It was quiet for a moment as the Arborian filled in the information, and then she looked over at Zolt. He stared back for a second, before he realized that it was his turn. The two soldiers tightened their grip on their weapons.

"Oh, uh... Yes, Zolt'chk, arachi, male, uh...", he paused and looked over at his human captor. He had no idea what to respond to the allegiance part. The human raised her eyebrows at him and gave a weird jerk with her head. He had no idea what she was trying to say.

"Yes?", came the slightly annoyed prod from the port master.

"... Uh, no allegiance, and my reasons are the same.", he hurried to reply. In all honesty he would've loved to tell the Arborian the truth, but first of all he was scared that if he did, Devin would twist his head off, and secondly that the Arborians themselves would kidnap and sell him. An already kidnapped person was nothing more than a basic ware like any other on this planet.

The little creature in green uniform jotted down the last of the information, and then scanned the ship's code, giving it a slight look of surprise and then looked up at the two aliens in front of her.

"This ship was reported stolen a few days ago. Says here it belongs to the Delta Cluster trade coalition." She squinted a them. Her henchmen shuffled behind her, glaring at the two outsiders.

"As I said, we're here to upgrade our vehicle.", Devin repeated. Zolt was stunned at the fact that she didn't try to hide that she stole it. He'd heard that humans could be rather illogical, but this was straight up moronic. Still, the bat-like creature blinked at them and then nodded.

"Very well. Will you be altering, selling, dismantling or destroying it, then? We are willing to take care of the procedures needed to have it travel safe again, for a price of course."

"Selling."

"Ah, very well. Will you sell it as-is, or will you pay for the procedures required to sell it at full price, ready-to-use?"

"As it is, thank you."

"I see. Lovely. We will add it to our digital stock at a price equal to its current market value, and once it's sold the earnings will be forwarded to your credits account. 20% of the profits will go to us as a middle hand and handling fee. Please sign and enter your account ID here.", she said and held out her tablet towards Devin, who added her info without question. Zolt started to say something, but Devin gave him an annoyed shove with her foot, and he went quiet again. The port master looked approvingly at Devin's signature and gave them a short nod.

"Thank you very much for your service, and welcome to Arbor V."

The second the little port master and her menacing entourage left them Devin was off half-running towards the nearest exit. Zolt, who didn't know what else to do, followed her. She'd just sold off their ship, effectively stranding them on this hellhole of a planet, and he had no idea how to get back home on his own from here. He felt a cold knot of dread form in his abdomen, and he did his best to stay close to the human.

Devin didn't look back even for a second. Her stomach was growling loudly, startling people as she walked past them. Humans were rare out here, or at least civilian ones, and Devin wore no indicators of being part of any militia. People stared at her rather shamelessly, but she didn't care. She just blindly followed her nose and stumbled towards the sweet scent of food, and as soon as the first small food stall came into view she sprinted straight up to it. The owner of the stall looked perplexed at the sight of her, though he didn't show any of the fear that was the more common reaction to seeing humans. Instead, he handed the red-haired girl a menu with one of his many six-digit hands. She was already in the middle of her order when Zolt caught up with her. She turned around and grinned widely at him.

"Do you want something? My treat!", she said cheerily and pushed the menu into the arachi's talons. The insectoid hesitated but then read through the list of courses, and rather quickly settled on one that would agree with his digestive system. Thankfully most food establishments, big or small, carried options for all the most common digestive systems. Amazingly enough, humans could eat almost anything from any option, but what else could one expect from a creature that literally had a vat of acid as a part of its digestive system.

Once their orders were placed, they moved a bit to the side to wait for their food to be ready. They stood quietly next to each other, Devin swaying slightly from side to side, eventually opting on leaning against Zolt, who stiffened at the contact. She was as warm as always, and he wasn't sure if it was pleasant or uncomfortable. Mostly it just felt weird. He wondered if it was truly comfortable to have such a high body temperature.

"I'm sorry."

He looked down at her, confused.

"What?", he asked, trying to read her expression, but she was looking away from him. She sighed.

"I already apologized once, but I don't feel like it's enough. It was terrible of me to drag you with me the way I did."

Zolt was quiet. The human's voice was steady but low, and there was a certain hesitant quality to it that he hadn't heard earlier. Somehow, despite her not crying, it made him think back on the first time he'd seen her. Despite his better judgement he once again pitied her. Still, he said nothing. He knew that she spoke the truth. If her plan had truly been to kidnap him, she wouldn't have left him unbound, she wouldn't have tried to be nice to him, and she would have definitely made an effort to restrain him before they landed if she'd wished to sell him into slavery. But he couldn't quite trust her. She was human, she was unpredictable, and she was dangerous.

When he didn't respond, Devin spoke again.

"I realize that I've put you in a very scary and unfamiliar situation, but once I have my own ship that's safe to travel with, I'll drop you off at whichever planet or station that you want. You have my word, Zolt'chk."

Before he could answer, their order was called out and they went to collect it. They sat down at a bench a short distance away from the busy street and quietly ate their food. It felt incredibly awkward.

Then he broke the silence.

"Thank you."

***

Devin felt terrible. She was indebted to the poor arachi next to her, but instead of repaying his kindness she'd probably ended up scarring him for life. He had barely said a word to her in the past few days, and she could tell that he tensed up every time she got close to him. She hadn't planned on abducting him. In all honesty it hadn't been on her mind even as she'd dragged him into the ship. It wasn't really until after her adrenaline settled down that she had truly realized what she'd done... And now she had no idea how to make it right. She hoped to at least be able to make him less wary of her, if not for her own sake then for his. She had no idea how to do that, though, and she was too hungry and dehydrated to think of a proper solution at the moment.

She ate her food rather quickly, feeling absolutely famished. Her first drink was already consumed, and she greedily started to chug down her second one. She was in the middle of this when Zolt'chk finally spoke.

"Thank you."

She nearly spat out her drink. Somehow, that was the very last thing she'd expected him to say. She looked at him a bit bewildered.

"For the food, I mean.", Zolt continued. The human deflated slightly, feeling a bit disappointed, but swiftly reminded herself that this was an entirely positive thing and gave him a soft smile.

"My pleasure.", she said. Zolt'chk hesitated for a moment.

"Could I possibly have seconds?", he asked sheepishly. Devin's smile widened and she let out a chuckle.

"Of course."

[solsticejcink]

preview - species part two.

the sister cities of ostara and litha are home to a host of species, each with their own unique set of abilities. below, you can read more about each species. a species’ rarity will be noted by their name through stars. 0 stars would mean extinct, while 6 stars would mean they make up a significant portion of the population.

UNICORNS ✮

ethereal and delicate, unicorns were historically the most hunted species still holding ranks in the city, making crossing paths with one few and far between. in the days of old, unicorns would only appear before virgin maidens that were pure of heart - nowadays, they are still skittish of who they reveal themselves to, but the requirements are decidedly more lax. over time, their horns have evolved down to a single, opaque gemstone on their foreheads - the likes of which are rumored to be the key to discovering the secrets to immortality, making them incredibly valuable to both monsters and humans alike.

unicorns have a mortal form, only identifiable by the opaque gemstone that marks their forehead. unicorns can live for multiple centuries, with the oldest being recorded at 500 years. unicorns aging slows once they reach adolescence. if a unicorn’s gemstone is shattered or otherwise disturbed, they lose all their powers.

+ healing kiss the ability to heal the wounds of others with a kiss.

+ emphatic healing the ability to heal others’ emotional wounds.

+ curse removal the power to permanently remove curses from those pure of heart.

+ fertility inducement the ability to cause growth and reproduction, mostly in relation to restoring or bringing about new aspects of nature.

ARCH ANGELS ✮

angels operate as the sister cities guardians and harbingers of justice. together, angels watch over the cities, guiding and helping its citizens and punishing those who dare disturb its peace - karma might not exist in the realm of magic, but the angels sure do. they are methodical creatures who follow a strict moral code - but despite their tendency to reap sharp punishments, there is a softness to angels and an intense willingness to nurture and care for others. while their code of ethics doesn’t always agree happily with the rest of the city, their powers are incredibly useful to those who hold positions of power, and most of the angel population work as advisors to government officials, strategists for the arcane guard, or faculty for other important institutions.

angels can maintain a mortal form, but can live up to a thousand years. they generally stop aging physically once they hit their early 40s.

+ light manipulation the ability to emit and create constructs out of light.

+ illusion awareness  the ability to detect illusory magic.

+ lie detection the ability to identify a lie.

+ elemental wing manifestation the ability to create wings out the elements, such as water, air, fire, etc.

+ energy manipulation the ability to create constructs out of energy

POPPETS ✮✮

crafted and carefully brought to life, poppets are doll-like creatures who are either products of arrogant alchemists showing their talent or misshapen magic. they are made by combining dolls (anywhere from scarecrows to those of precious porcelain) with human DNA. most poppets can be made with just a single tuft of hair, and it’s not unheard of for someone to find a poppet meandering about town bearing strikingly similar features to their own. with no real purpose within the sister cities, poppets are perhaps the most easily mistreated species - with many of them ending up on the streets, struggling to comprehend the world they were brought into.

poppets are not inherently human, and often show physical signs of their true nature, such as seams in their skin. the amount of these imperfections, and how noticeable they are, will depend on the skill of the alchemist that created them. because they are not inherently human, they don’t have a ‘life span’ to speak of, but can be dismantled and effectively killed.

+ anatomical liberation the ability to remove limbs from one’s body without pain or harm.

+ soul link the power to share or connect one’s soul with someone else’s.

+ petrifactive hibernation the ability to go dormant and heal oneself in a statue form.

KITSUNE ✮✮✮

part legendary fox, part man - kitsunes are sly creatures who are masters of illusions. they are the glinting eyes that watch you at night, the stranger at the end of the bar that lures you in - their allure is never knowing the truth about them, and they certainly like to play up the mystery. they have one glaring weakness, however, and that’s their tether - every kitsune’s power is stored in a single object, typically a family heirloom of some kind, and anyone in possession of said object can control and manipulate a kitsune to their will.

kitsune’s in their human form will always have the shadow of a fox. kitsunes can live up to 200 years old, and their aging slows down once they reach adolescence.

+ kitsune form the ability to transform into a kitsune.

+ shapeshifting the power to alter one’s appearance in human form.

+ illusion manipulation the ability to create and shape illusions.

+ dream walking the power to enter another person’s dreams.

FAIRIES ✮✮✮✮✮✮

fairies are generally depicted as free-spirited, joyous creatures who overrun the city with their constant chattering. able to shrink down to just a few inches tall, many fairies prefer homes that fit this true size, and it’s easy to spot small doors around town that lead to equally small alcoves for them to live in. their cute demeanor and oftentimes flirty disposition is dangerous for the rest of the city, however, as fairies are generally self-serving and jump at the chance to trick others. even those of the sharpest wit that come to them with favors or demands will be left tongue tied and somehow indebted to the fairy instead.

fairies can live up to 200 years. while they can attain a regular-sized, mortal form, they often have an unnatural aura about them. most fairies are born with pointed ears.

+ size manipulation the power to shrink in size as well as return to one’s normal size.

+ oath bestowal the ability to create oaths and promises that others must follow through on.

+ wing manifestation the ability to grow or manifest fairy wings.

+ conjuration the ability to cast spells that summon creatures, items, etc.

+ plant manipulation the power to control and shape plantlife.

GOBLINS ✮✮✮✮

the black sheep of the sister cities, goblins are chaotic, mischievous beings who were once thought to be created to punish the fae for their well documented indecency when it came to human lovers and stealing human children. much to the world’s chagrin, however, the rest of the fae adored their cousins from the very beginning. considered a pest by anyone outside of the fae family, goblins tend to accept their reputation gleefully. their unique powers require an incredible amount of energy to keep up with, however, and thus require a special diet - for goblins have the ability to devour the souls of both humans and monsters alike. not eating will turn them into horrific monsters over time - graying their skin, elongating the tips of their ears, and turning their eyes completely red.

goblins, like fairies,  have a mortal form but often have pointed ears or an unnatural aura about them. starved goblins may have a gray hue to their skin, or red eyes. goblins can live up to 100 years.

+ bad luck inducement the ability to make bad fortune more likely.

+ enhanced dexterity the power to control one’s muscles, limbs, and overall body above normal capability.

+ invisibility the ability to make oneself unseen.

+ magical immunity the power to be unaffected by magic.

+ supernatural speed the ability to move at a highly enhanced speed.

MERMAIDS ✮✮✮✮✮

a famously beautiful species, mermaids are the epitome of what it means for looks to deceive. they are a surprisingly brutal people, lingering near shores to try and lure innocent humans into the waters and to their deaths at the claws of hungry ocean-dwellers. human flesh is the staple of a mermaid’s diet, and allows them to access the full strength of their abilities. peaceful mermaids who subsist on regular food, however, are not unheard of - just less powerful, and more likely to have their human form be slightly unstable.

mermaids can will themselves into a human form by staying on dry land, but can get sick and even die if left ‘out of water’ for too long. mermaids have a mortal lifespan.

+ mermaid form a mermaid’s primary state. the ability to turn into a half-human, half-fish.

+ siren call the power to sing or otherwise produce a sound that lures in anyone nearby.

+ water manipulation the ability to create and control water.

+ enhanced camouflage the heightened ability to blend in with one’s surroundings.

+ regenerative healing the ability to rapidly heal from non-mortal wounds, as well as regenerate body matter.

BERSERKERS ✮✮✮

one of the oldest species that call the sister cities home, berserkers are descended from giants of the old world. largely considered friendly and gentle, berserkers once used their immense strength to help terraform the land that formed the two cities. unlike other ancient species, berserkers do not hold themselves to a high regard, and try to live humble lives among the rest of the population.

berserkes have a ‘human’ form, but are typically larger than many others in the city. berserkers can live up to 200 years.

+ super strength physical strength is intensely amplified.

+ natural disaster creation the ability to create and manipulate all types of natural disasters.

+ enhanced durability the power to withstand many attacks and stress on the body without injury.

+ chaos inducement the power to create and cause disorder, confusion, or other types of chaos.

+ earth manipulation the ability to manipulate earth. 

GODS ✮

crafted of ichor and gold, gods are the last remnants of a dying breed. although they aren’t the original founders of the sister cities, their ancestry and reputation has them both revered and feared by the population. while the old gods are gone, dead and dormant long ago, these minor gods still cling to life through shrines and small followings within ostara and litha’s reach. each god has power over one specific domain, and many people will leave offerings in hopes they will lend their powers to them. as time has passed, more and more minor gods have resurfaced - both new and ones that had thought to have been forgotten long ago, mostly thanks to litha’s open borders attracting new followers.

gods can alter their appearance at will. lesser known gods will appear very human, while gods with larger followings may have an unnatural presence to them.  in addition to the abilities listed below, gods can have an assortment of powers relevant to their domain. gods do not die, but without any followers, maybe fall into a dormant state. 

+ telekinesis to manipulate and move objects with one’s mind

+ illusion manipulation the power to create illusions.

+ reality warping the ability to alter and change reality.

+ magic resistance the ability to be resistant to other types of magic.

+ psychometry the ability to know information about an object or person simply by touching them.

+ sensory scrying the ability to see things through other’s senses.

HELLHOUNDS ✮✮

once rabid, foaming beasts, hellhounds were imprisoned in the confines of the underbelly long ago. freedom at their grasp for the past century, hellhounds are still regarded as dangerous and unhinged. unlike the other psychopomps, they cannot transport souls from one side to another, but rather assist in the tracking of particularly troubling phantoms or predict death before it happens and nudge the process along. while they can be bred, anybody can become a hellhound by offering to take the place of someone who was supposed to die.

hellhounds were once regarded as rabid, dangerous beasts, descendants of the fenrir that would mark the end of the world - years ago, they were banned from ostara, but have been allowed within the city limits within the past 20 years. hellhounds have a keen ability to track and follow death, and seeing a hellhound in their mongrel form is considered a bad omen. while hellhounds can conceive other hellhounds, humans and creatures alike can become hellhounds by offering to take the place of someone who was meant to die. 

hellhounds can turn between a hound and mortal form, and can live up to 100 years. their powers are emotionally taxing, and they run the risk of running into a ‘rage’ where they are unaware of their actions. hellhounds that turned to protect another will automatically enter this raged state if they are around the person they saved.

+ hellhound form the ability to transform into a hellhound - a large, menacing black beast.

+ death song the power to cause or call attention to death through howling.

+ vice inducement the power to compel people to give into their vices.

+ psychic navigation the ability to track people mentally.

+ death sense the ability to know when and where someone will die.

+ fire breath the ability to expel bursts of fire from their mouth.

REAPERS ✮✮✮

reapers is the general term for any and all psychopomps left - those of this species may find themselves more aligned with traditional grim reapers, swatched in black and wielding scythes. others feels more inclined towards norse valkyrie, inciting violence and basking in the aftermath. either way, reapers fill two specific duties in the sister cities: cutting the cord that keeps everyone tethered to life, and pushing their spirits to the afterlife. in the past, crossing paths with a reaper was a bad omen, one that could be fatal. protective charms and incantations were passed around to keep your home safe from a wandering grim reaper. in modern times, however, many reapers have repurposed their powers, electing to work in the medical field or seeking to protect the various graveyards and holy sites among the cities. 

reapers appear mortal, but can live up to 200 years. reapers often gain some form of empowerment from participating in their death-based powers, and choosing to not ‘cut the string’ of someone fated to die may cause butterfly effects elsewhere in the city that are anywhere from subtle to severe. 

+ mediumship the power to communicate with spirits in the afterlife.

+ weapon manifestation the ability to conjure and call a weapon out of thin air.

+ necromancy the power to raise and re-animate the bodies of the dead.

+ shadow manipulation the ability to manipulate and call forth shadows.

+ after-life transport the ability to send souls to the afterlife.

+ life-force absorption the power to steal life-force from those they reap and gain strength from it.

[goodbyecringe]

(Un)Natural Selection Chapter 5

Éponine

During the week after the Selection had been announced I probably slept for an hour or two every night. I couldn’t help but lay awake while Azelma curled her small body around me. The first thing I did after the officials left for the day was run to the Brouder’s house. We didn’t have a phone in the apartment and I needed to tell them about my plans with Azelma. When the front door opened I was immediately embraced by Mrs. Brouder.

“We are so honored that you came to visit us Éponine,” she said, inviting me inside.

“I’m so thankful for you Mrs. Brouder,” I said, sitting at the counter while she put on a tea kettle.

“Please ma chère, call me Justine. You know that I’ve wanted you to stay with us since we first hired you. You always do more than we expect of you. And you’ve been such a help with Mercer.”

“Thank you. It has been such a pleasure to work for you. You’ve always given me food which goes towards keeping ‘Zelma fed. I am indebted to you,” I said, holding out my hands to her.

“Please take on Azelma as your new housekeeper!” I blurted it out before I could control my mouth.

“Of course, chére! Victor and I see how skinny you two girls are. If your parents would let us, we would love to take care of you,” she said, squeezing my hands.

“I know, and it means the world to us. Thank you for taking care of her while I’m gone. I have one more request, but it might be more difficult than employing my sister. I want to make sure that my sister is able to eat and maybe even one day have enough saved so she can leave our parents. Would you be willing to receive a small portion of my pay and set it aside for Azelma?” My heart was beating at one hundred miles a minute. I hadn’t even been this nervous when the announcement was made on Friday night. Had it really only been 5 days ago?

“Of course. We would be honored to help Azelma in any way possible,” Mrs. Brouder broke away to prepare the tea, creating a momentary silence between the two of us.

“Have you observed your competition at all?” she asked, handing me a cup. My eyes widened. How could I have not thought of memorizing every detail I could about the other thirty-four girls.

“I-I haven’t even considered it yet,” I stammered.

But Mrs. Brouder had already thought through to the answer of her question. We moved to the living room and re-watch the Report, which is playing on repeat, no doubt so that all of Illeá could do just as we were doing, sizing up the competition. Even Mr. Brouder came in holding baby Mercer, making comments about “she won’t make it past the first day” and “she seems to appear too innocent” The whole afternoon just seemed right. Sitting in front of the television holding Mercer while he pulled at my hair. Watching Mr. and Mrs. Brouder hold each other's hands and speak in French about how much they missed Paris. I left the Brouder’s after a few hours and our goodbye almost made me cry. Mercer threw a fit as soon as I handed him back to Mr. Brouder. Mrs. Brouder, or Justine as she insisted I call her, held me in a tight embrace.

“Montre comme tu es beau,” she whispered in my ear as tears fell down her cheeks.

Show your beautiful self. I had never thought about being beautiful, in fact, I never thought much about who I was as a person. It wasn’t a luxury afforded to sixes that went to bed hungry most nights. Did people really see something in me aside from the victim of a broken home? As I walked home I thought about what we discussed while watching the Report. Mrs. Brouder insisted that I be myself while interacting with the Prince. Since he didn’t already know my caste he wouldn’t try to pity me for being a Six. Our only hope was that he wouldn't throw me out on the first day for not being proper enough. My mother could try to make sure that I looked good on paper, but there was nothing she could do about my behaviors. By the time I left the Brouder's house the sun was setting and when I returned home there was a tall man sitting at the small table in the kitchen. He introduced himself as Mr. Kent. He was a tall, lean man in a four piece suit that looked very out of place in our dirty old apartment.

“Lady Éponine, it is an absolute pleasure to meet you,” he nodded his head deeply, and extended his hand.

“Please, the pleasure is all mine,” I said, shaking his hand.

“I apologize for coming so close to curfew. I planned to be here earlier, but another member of the selected kept me a bit longer than expected. I’m here tonight to present the first stipend to your family and go over a few things with you,” he held out an envelope to mother, who snatched it up.

“Madame, if you would please sign here saying that you have received your stipend,” she leaned over the table in an awkward position, most likely to show off her breasts.

“Now I’ve also analyzed your physical examination and it appears that you have several underlying conditions that will need to be treated while you are residing in the castle, and after I’m sure, since you are now a Three-“ My mouth dropped open. My mother dropped the pen she was holding. I could hear Azelma choke on her drink in the living room.

“Only you, of course, Lady Éponine,” Mr. Kent said, looking at my mother’s hopeful face. “We have found that in past Selections, girls that belonged to the Fourth caste and below had a rather hard time readjusting to their lives before the Selection. Understand that if you win, you and all your family members will become Ones and you will marry the Prince. Now, following your doctor’s orders, when you arrive to the castle you will be following a slightly different diet than the other girls. Since your doctor identified you as being malnourished, your serving sizes during meals will be a bit larger then your competitors. You will also be required to attend weekly appointments with the doctor at the palace. Here is a bottle of vitamins and sleeping aids that you will be responsible for taking here and during the Selection.” Mr. Kent handed me 2 bottles of pills.

“Why are you giving me sleeping pills?”

“Well, to be honest, you do look a little worse for wear. The Selection is a highly competitive and stressful environment. It’s good to make sure you’re entering fully rested.”

“Of course, Mr. Kent,” my mother said. “Thank you for caring so deeply about my dear daughter’s health. I’ll take these to ensure that she is taking her medication as prescribed,” she said, taking the bottles out of my hands.

“Excellent. Now if you don’t mind Madame Jondrette, would you and your younger daughter please go to another room so I may discuss some private things with Lady Éponine?”

“Well I’m sure whatever you could say to dear ‘Ponine you could say with her dear mama present,” My mother wrapped her arms around me. I wondered if Mr. Kent could see in tension in my body.

“Madame, this is a private conversation that I’ve had with 29 other selected girls. It is just a part of the process,” he said, raising his eyebrows. And with a fake smile, she took her check and Azelma into her room.

“Now that it is just the two of us, I must inform you, Éponine, there has never been a Six in the Selected. You are at an extreme disadvantage, even to the Fives. At least they have some sort of talent to offer. Please don’t think that I’m discriminating, one of my cousins married a Six, and I know they’re very happy. However, if the Prince wanted to marry a servant I’m sure he would just take a trip down to the kitchens. But if there were other services you could offer him…”

“Mr. Kent, are you implying that I sleep with the Prince?” This took me aback. Pre-marital sex was illegal and punishable by either a large fine or time in prison. That was why prostitutes made so much money.

“I am implying that you do what any other woman in your position would do.. Of course, you shouldn’t just thrust yourself upon him. He would probably send you home for being too sleazy.”

“Sir, I’m sure any other Six in my position would think the same thing as you, so I don’t take offense. However, I’m sure you’ve read my application so you should know a few things about me. My parents had me for this exact reason. My mother ensured that even though I was unable to attend school, I was educated. I can speak three languages fluently, which is extremely important when interacting with foreign dignitaries. I have also read and discussed multiple books on political science, so I understand the different ways that countries have been run and whether or not these ways were successful. So you’re right, Mr. Kent, I might not be able to paint masterpieces, or use my wealthy, famous family to my advantage. But I can assure you that I’ll be able to talk to Prince Julien about more important things then the weather.” I realized now that at some point I had stood up.

“I’m glad that you have that fight in you Lady Éponine. You’ll need it,” he said, standing up to shake my hand.

“I’ll escort you out, Mr. Kent,” I opened the door and followed behind him.

“I do have a question, well more of a request,” I said, looking at my feet.

“First princess lesson, never address the ground when you’re talking,” I looked up at him in front of me.

“Would you be able to send a portion of my stipend to the Brouder family so they can put it aside for my sister? I just don’t trust my parents to manage their money properly.” He immediately began to shake his head and sigh.

“I’m sorry but the rules concerning the stipend are very strict. Of course I can tell that out of all the selected you are by far the worst off. Your doctor said you should weigh about 40 pounds more than you currently do. I’m sorry, but I just can’t do anything. Strictly speaking, I’m just a messenger to all of you.” He put his hand on my shoulder as I felt my heart drop into my stomach.

As I watched him walk out to his car I knew that I had to take matters into my own hands. My first mission during my time at the palace was to use the prince so that Azelma could be safe, even if it would cost me the crown.

[taeyongtime]

finale of the longing heart

genre: rich kid!au x model!reader ⎮ angst ⎮ bittersweet fluff

group & member: NCT’s Taeyong

word count: ~18,500 words

↳ 🚨: alcohol-mention, mature theme, explicit language, slow burn, tons of pining. read at own discretion. 

brief synopsis: 

↳ “Why can’t you see that you’ve always had a piece of my heart from the very beginning?”

“He’s late.”

You look up from fiddling with the edge of the tablecloth and cough to ease the prickling tension at the dining table.

“Maybe he’s busy.”

“Sure, he is.” The following scoff is unrelenting, accompanied with a roll of the eyes at the empty seat to your left. “Every day he comes home drunk to no end and with a new girl hanging off his arms like a newly bought accessory from the jeweler’s down the street.

“You’ve barely touched any of your food. Not hungry?”

“I… I thought to wait for him first,” you answer, smiling weakly. “It’s what we do at home.”

“Just eat first, Y/N. Who cares if that loser brother of mine doesn’t come back for dinner?” A manicured finger taps against the table top, two more joining the impatient rhythm drumming onward. “It’s not the first time he’s called a no-show anyway.”

The doorbell rings the very moment the sharp words are spoken, and one of the maids on standby hurries to answer the door while you watch to see who had arrived.

“Eat,” comes the ushering again. “We’re way pass a suitable time to eat and you’ve been here since our afternoon tea at three.”

“If… If you insist.”

Silver fork in hand, you get ready to dig into the cooled carbonara pasta on your plate when a hiccup catches your attention.

“God, you look terrible,” laments the woman sitting at the head of the table upon hearing the impending footsteps. “And what a surprise. No accessory this time, little brother?”

The slump in the middle of the two maids who had carried him in shakes his head and giggles, a bubbling sound that offsets the flushed red of his cheeks and glazed look in his eyes.

You put down the utensil in your hand and nod in greeting, startled when he wiggles away from the maids and tumbles straight onto you.

“Cute!” He presses his face against yours and rubs aggressively, smiling as an arm loops around your shoulders.

“So cute!”

“Taeyong, you little…” His sister snaps her fingers at the two maids. “Get him upstairs and make sure he’s somewhat more sober before coming back down.”

“I’m sorry,” she turns to you with an exasperated sigh, “It’s rare enough that he comes home without any plus ones, but to return smelling of booze and…”

You shake your head before she could finish, waving it off with a light smile.

“I don’t mind.”

Midway through the second round of tea and light snacks after the dinner, one of the maids enters the parlor to inform your host that the Young Master has sobered up somewhat, but will be having dinner up in his room rather that in the company of his sister’s good friend. The excuse of ‘not wanting her to see me looking like shit’ is all too familiar to your ears as you stand up from your seat on the couch. Here it was, the signal for you to leave, and you weren’t ignorant enough to insist on staying when you had spent a large portion of your day in their family home already.

“I should be getting home now,” you say politely. “Thank you for having me over.”

“The pleasure is ours. And I’ll see you next week for Seoul Fashion Week?”

“… No guarantees, but I’ll let you know if I do end up going.”

—

“How was the dinner?”

You look up from your book and nod.

“Okay, I guess.”

“Did he even show up?”

Closing the book, you adjust the covers and extra cushion against your back, pausing before answering your brother.

“He was drunk as usual.”

“I really don’t understand why you still like him,” he scowls. “At this rate you’re not much different from an old toy that’s been tossed aside because the baby’s gone bored of it.”

“Sicheng, I’m trying to read.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” your brother adds before dropping the subject, not in the mood to continue when past arguments have always ended in the silent treatment. “When it all falls apart, you can’t say I didn’t try to convince you beforehand.”

“Okay, you little know-it-all. Have you decided what to wear for next week?”

“I have a set of clothes prepared already,” Sicheng says haughtily, unfazed by the change of subject. “You?”

“I’m not sure if I’ll even go. Maybe I’ll ask Ten to borrow some of his clothes if I do end up going.”

“You’re going to ask Ten for clothes? He’s notorious for not liking it when people ask to borrow his clothes.”

“Why not? In fact, I’ll ask him now.”

“God, you’re so…” Sicheng studies you closely as you reach for your phone and tap along the screen, putting it away after a mere thirty seconds of tapping and clicking.

“Well?”

“He’s grumpy but willing to lend me some clothes,” you say with a grin, “Heh.”

Sicheng rolls his eyes before tossing a thinning grin your way. “We have work tomorrow, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“When?”

“8am,” he says sharply, knuckles rapping against your bedroom door. “Not 9:00, not 8:30, but 8 sharp.”

“Okay,” you grumble, detesting early work calls. “I hear you.”

“I’ve already told your makeup and hair stylists about it, so you can’t use your staff as an excuse to sleep in.”

“Jeez, okay.”

“Also, I hear Ten’s going to be using that same set later, so you can ask him to confirm if he’ll even go to fashion week when you see him.”

“Since when did you become such a nagger? Doyoung must be rubbing off on you.”

Sicheng gives you his signature look of open-mouth, half-glowering glare of disbelief mixed with an awe at hearing what he deemed as the stupidest thing he’d ever heard.

“I am nothing like Doyoung.”

“One overbearing adult in this household is enough, and that adult is not going to be you or me.”

“Mom’s going to riot if she heard you comparing her to an amateur like Doyoung.”

“Oh sure,” you drawl. “As if the standards of an ex-supermodel are all that matter when even she can have her moments of being incorrect.”

“You know what I mean,” your brother finishes. “It’s both due to her influence and our own talent that we’re still employed and favored by designers and the public themselves. She gets more credit than you think.”

“Yeah, yeah. This is precisely why you’re the favorite in this family, Sicheng.”

Confirming the time of work with your brother one last time, the door swings shut again and you sigh deeply while running a hand through your uncombed hair. Clearly the world wasn’t sick of you just yet, the demand for your face in magazine spreads still as strong as ever even when you’d already been under the watch of the camera lens for the past six years and counting.

—

Traffic had been worse than usual, and now the two of you were nearly three hours late, frantic footsteps hurriedly making their way down the hall once you enter the front door to find the photographer who was to take your photos.

“I told you yesterday 8am.”

“My phone didn’t ring,” you hiss, the straps of your sandals biting into the space between your toes as you pick up the pace. “I had an alarm set for at least 7:30, I swear.”

The bickering halts as Sicheng nudges your elbow, bringing your attention to the head photographer clicking through his computer on set. Eyebrows furrowed and mouth tightened to a scowl… there was no getting out easy for this one with a three-hour tardy slip on the line.

“Finally,” he drawls, turning around to face you and Sicheng after taking a sip from the coffee cup next to the mousepad. “The wonder duo shows up right before we call for lunch.”

“There was traffic,” you explain, dipping your head low in apology. “We—”

“Enough, just get to hair and makeup. If I reprimand you two with anything more than a warning, your mother would certainly come for my head to be served on a plate, garnish and all.”

You quickly follow your manager to hair and makeup while Sicheng goes straight to the stylists for a fitting after the quick dismissal. Sometimes it worked in your advantage after all to be the daughter of an ex-supermodel who still had significant influence on the fashion industry.

Hair done and makeup complete, any lingering thoughts fade as you begin making your way out to the cameras, bumping into a figure you hadn’t been expecting to see this early in the day.

“Ten!” you exclaim in surprise, shooting him a warm smile when his eyes meet yours. “I wasn’t expecting to see you until later in the evening.”

“They moved me up when you and your brother were still missing,” Ten laughs, eyes curving to warm crescents. “I’m free now.”

Your lips purse to a pout and he snickers.

“I’ll talk to you later, sweetie. We have to set some ground rules if you’re going to borrow some of my clothes.”

“Alright. See you then.”

Sicheng meets with you ten minutes later and you eye the oversized tan coat he was wearing, not quite understanding why there was also a baseball cap sitting atop his head, hair slightly tousled underneath the headwear.

“A bit big, isn’t it?”

“That’s what I was given,” he retorts, sizing up the white crop top and corresponding tan wide leg pants on you. “And honestly I can say the same about your pants.”

“It’s what I was given.”

Rolling his eyes at you recycling his words, Sicheng pulls you after him and you nearly stumble from the wedge sandals on your feet failing to keep up with the hurried pace of his black sneakers.

“Stop walking so fast!”

“I have long legs and so do you. Keep up.”

The shoot goes by rather quickly, or at least it feels like it didn’t last very long as you face the camera with an arm on your brother’s shoulder. The natural chemistry between family is clear; you readjust your position to match with his in the next few shots, readily tilting your head when directed to and jumping on his back without further thought. Any other male model would have been scared off immediately, but this was your brother after all. The tightly closed eyes, open-mouthed grins and loud laughter echoing around the set all captured on the reel of film, you nearly didn’t hear the final “Cut!” before one of the photographer’s assistants holds up an okay sign to let you know the photoshoot had ended.

“Was… Was it okay?” you ask the photographer, leaning against Sicheng and still wheezing after an intense tickle session. Hopefully your performance had been more than enough to make up for missing the scheduled time to start the shoot.

“Sometimes I fail to believe you two are just siblings,” he comments, clicking through the photos on his computer and zooming in on a shot of Sicheng carrying you on his back. He then switches to one of you and your brother sitting side by side on the floor like dolls on display, gazes alluring at the overseeing lens of the flashing cameras. “Natural talent is something you both exhibited beautifully and now I see why word in the studios claims that your mother actually hadn’t left the industry at all.”

Sicheng mumbles a “thank you” at the elevated compliment and nudges your side, smiling slightly as you give him a thumbs-up in return. Having entered the fashion industry with your brother at the ripe age of fifteen, you certainly didn’t have fame and fortune handed to you right off the bat. Being children of a woman who had walked more catwalks than there were dresses designed per fashion season, the silver spoon that was your supermodel mother only raised expectations from the press and other notable figures in the industry, already labeling you and Sicheng as successors to your mother’s legacy in the fashion world the moment you had started walking on two feet rather than all fours. The lens became a common part of your childhood and even now at age 21 it was still everywhere, capturing moments of you frozen frame by frame to be edited and inserted into the next fashion magazine for the upcoming season’s new collections.

A few more comments are made before the two of you are released, your managers stepping up to discuss any lingering schedules while you grab onto Sicheng’s arm for extra support as you ease out of the wedge sandals constraining your aching feet. Taking them off, you hold the sandals by the straps and hum in delight, your toes cool on the floor’s hardwood tiles.

“If Mom were here she’d scold you until tomorrow for walking around barefoot,” Sicheng scoffs, already switching back to his usual prickliness. “Put the sandals back on.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you tell him, nose high in the air as your managers return, not paying attention to the conversation until feeling the nudge from your brother.

“Let’s go, we’re done here.”

“Wait, I was supposed to meet Ten!”

Grumbling, he follows you around to look for the model in question, and you spot Ten sitting down in front of the camera, head tilted at the prompting from the photographer before the camera begins to flash. You make a mental note of your colleague’s poses, taking in the way he held the bottle of cologne in his hands and the single spray at his long neck. Knowing better than to interrupt, you stand quietly but he gets up midway through a photo anyway, greeting you and Sicheng with a hearty wave.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” you begin sheepishly, bowing to the photographer who had called a five-minute break because of Ten. “I can just text you later instead?”

“Nah,” he smirks. “I’d rather talk to you in person, it’s been a while since we last saw each other.”

“Ten, only you have the nerve to get up in the middle of a shoot and the staff would still be okay with it.”

Ten laughs at Sicheng’s comment and brief catching up between the three of you takes place before one of the staff approaches with a black cat in his hands.

“A cat!” Your eyes shine in excitement. “I haven’t done a shoot with animals in forever!”

“It wasn’t warming up to me at first,” Ten explains. “Hopefully it’s feeling better after I did my other batch of photos earlier in the morning when you two weren’t here yet.”

Five minutes already up, the model excuses himself from the conversation as he returns to the set, lying still for the staff member to gently place the cat down by Ten’s left shoulder. The feline turns its head at the sound of the clicker behind the photographer and Ten’s eyes soften as he pets the animal’s head. Another quick pause and the cat is moved from the floor to a surface on higher ground, the model following suit. The slight tilt of his face, chin resting comfortably on the cat’s lithe body, even simple nods to the music playing in the background while gazing into the cameras leave you absolutely enamored at the entire process of the photoshoot. You still had so much to learn and improve on even though you were already not that bad yourself.

“And that’s a wrap, thank you!”

Ten thanks the photographer and the rest of the staff for their hard work, and he mouths for you to wait. Approaching the staff member in charge of the cat, he returns after a moment’s pause holding the feline, and you gasp as he gently places it into your arms.

“I figured you’d want to play with it after we were done.”

“I’ve always wanted a pet,” you say after holding it for a full fifteen minutes. “Figured it’d be nice to have another companion at home besides Sicheng.”

“Get one,” Ten encourages, offering the returned cat to your brother and shrugging when the latter politely shakes his head. “I think a cat suits you.”

“I don’t know if my mother would be open to the idea of—”

“Oh, it’s Taeyong!”

You turn abruptly at hearing the name, nervous as said person walks towards Ten. Sicheng tugs on your arm to go but you stand firm, wanting to at least say hi to Taeyong since he was here and all.

“Work?” Taeyong asks Ten, noticing your presence but forgoing the hello for the cat in Ten’s arms.

“Cute cat.”

“Work with the cat,” Ten corrects him, scratching the feline behind its ears. “Want to pet him?”

“Yes, please.”

“I have to get going,” you speak up, a sense of unease prickling down your back. “See you later, Ten.”

“Are you still borrowing some of my clothes?” Ten asks.

Taeyong finally looks at you and you find yourself tongue-tied, stammering a reply that sounds like a yes in your brain before nodding your head in confirmation.

“My sister wanted to know if you would be attending Seoul Fashion Week,” he begins, quirking an eyebrow in question. “Sounds like you’re going with Ten?”

The insinuation easy to pick up on, you shake your head before Ten can even speak and Sicheng interjects with a taut smile at Taeyong before pulling you aside and away from the fray.

“Sicheng, what the hell?”

“Just because you tell him no doesn’t mean he’ll offer to go with you,” your brother mutters. “I already overheard him asking Kang Miyeon if she’s free.”

The name of your senior strikes a chord and you force a hopeful smile. “At least that means he’ll go, right?”

“Get a grip! Taeyong’s in love with her, not you!”

“They already broke up,” you begin slowly, fingers unconsciously curling together into a fist. “The tabloids haven’t caught them together on camera as of late.”

“People are secretive! Especially someone like Taeyong who has face and knows he’ll get jumped the moment he gets caught with a dating scandal again!” Sicheng rolls his eyes and spins around to face you; you can tell he was trying his best to not lose his temper.

“Pull yourself out before you really get hurt this time.”

“I… I can’t just stop loving him when I’ve loved him for so long already, Sicheng. That’s just impossible.”

—

You’ve had your fair share of dating rumors with multiple celebrities along the path of forging your modeling career, the press honing in on every word you said and every tiny action you made when your first relationship with an actor when you were 18 had gone public. The daughter of an ex supermodel dating a rising young actor had been such a story, or at least it was until said guy was caught locking lips with a fellow model in your same management two days after he had proclaimed his undying love for you on your 19th birthday. Since then, you never went public with another relationship again, tired of the constant questions on how long things would last and what your mother thought of your rumors.

Of course, the press was not to be underestimated, their detective work always finding you when you thought you had it all under wraps. Just recently it was practically their goal in life to determine whether you were romantically involved or not with Lee Taeyong, one of the members of the playboy quartet currently wreaking havoc amongst the entire female population of the city with their dashingly good looks and wealthy upbringings after the man had showed up to an evening ball with you as his so-called “date” for the night.

Ten, another member of said grouping who also happened to be a close friend of yours, giggled like mad at finding out you harbored the same infatuation with Taeyong as did the numerous female readers who had read the magazine that had done the spread of the four “Golden Boys”, even offering a helpful word of advice to move on from Taeyong to spare yourself the rejection before even giving the confession. But love worked unpredictably and lowered its head to no one, hence the slap on the face only stung more when you found out he had only approached you to get closer to one of the fellow models signed under your company. 

Miss Kang Miyeon, like many of the female models just entering the industry back then, looked up to your mother greatly and was no doubt nicer to you than she should have, warm smiles and offering tips on how to correct your walk and strike poses that were unique yet carried the elegance that was true to the name of what was ‘high fashion’. The two of you had gotten close enough to the point of sisterhood, but a sly sabotage at Sicheng from her end to win a spot on a catwalk your mother was also scheduled to walk on before her imminent retirement had cut the growing stalk that was your first friend outside of the family. Left to shreds, the budding friendship shrunk into an indifferent senior/junior separation at work. She had even cut off all ties with Taeyong, convinced he loved you more because of your elevated silver spoon in terms of modeling when she had to work from the bottom up.

Naturally, Taeyong hadn’t received the rejection well, and that was when you received the rejection for your unspoken confession, his signature deathly glare and furious growl crushing your heart into a million pieces of shattered glass. Of course, this hasn’t stopped you from trying to get back on his good graces and has never stopped you even when it would be better to simply move on to spare yourself any more misery at the lack of reciprocation for your feelings.

“Hey, are you ready?”

“Yes!” you call out, glancing over your reflection in the mirror one last time. Hair freshly washed and makeup lightly applied save the darker than usual eyeliner, you reach for the black Heich Blade jacket draped on your chair just as your brother walks in.

“Sicheng, you look great!”

Decked in a black Charm’s turtleneck, suspenders hooked on his leather jeans followed with a splash of color from a pair of forest green sneakers, he angles his round glasses down at the black tie-dye Saint Laurent shirt tucked within your black belted pencil skirt. A disapproving click of tongue follows the confirmation of the puppy socks on your feet while you put the black jacket over your shirt.

“What’s your concept, angst-ridden teenager who volunteers at animal shelters on Fridays?”

“These are Ten’s clothes, so I’m telling him you called him an angst-ridden teenager when we see him later.”

His fingers snap in confirmation. “I knew that shirt and jacket weren’t yours. Why can’t you wear your own clothes again?”

You ignore his question and gesture at the two pairs of shoes contending to be worn out. “Should I wear the combat boots or the heeled ankle ones?”

“You know Mom’s going to kill you if she knew you wore combat boots of all things at a fashion show.”

You groan at the disapproval, switching out your purple bedroom slippers to the pair of black ankle boots that had been mocking you since you woke up to get ready.

“Fine.”

“Ten’s going to say you look better than him in his own clothes,” Sicheng begins, heading downstairs and making sure you were out of the house first since you had a reputation of turning tail last minute. “He’ll either burn these after you return them to him or let you keep them.”

“I hope I can at least keep the jacket,” you giggle as the family driver opens the limousine door for you. “I like how snuggly this is and all my things fit in the pockets.”

Sicheng peeks into the front pocket and rolls his eyes at seeing the phone and wallet nestled safely within.

“Don’t get caught scrolling through your phone during the show.”

“They can’t catch me when I find myself a seat in the back.”

“No can do, we have front row. You know Mom would never arrange for us to be seated in the back when it comes to attending fashion shows.”

◇

At least twelve cameras flash in your faces the moment you and your brother step out of the limousine, accompanied by the bombardment of questions regarding your mother when the two of you make the way over to the red carpet.

“I hate this,” you mutter through gritted teeth, linking an arm around Sicheng.

“Tell me about it,” he replies, bowing after the final shots were taken. You pause for one last photo, holding tightly onto his arm as he weaves through the sea of bodies huddled around the inside of the show venue. Frequent stops are made to talk briefly with photographers you’ve worked with before, and models from other management companies walk up to you several times to give their greetings and start a conversation about your attendance after three years of playing hooky. Even representatives from your favorite brands stop by to offer a greeting, the most memorable being the rep from Charm’s who basically wouldn’t let Sicheng go once spotting your brother among the sea of attendees for today’s show.

“Hey, you look better in my clothes than I do.”

You turn around and giggle at the frown on Ten’s face.

“Love the look, by the way.”

“Tell me about it,” he says dramatically, adjusting the black tie at his collar. “There’s always pressure to look good because that’s how I get more jobs.”

“It’s not like you need it,” the figure to his right jokes. “You’re loaded.”

“Shut up, Doyoung. Some of us here actually can have fun making our hobbies our careers.”

“I never said I didn’t enjoy my job as a model,” Doyoung scowls, his lanky figure not at all pleased at the diss. “I could use more popularity from the jobs that you don’t take, you know.”

“I’ll put in a good word to all the photographers I deny since you like picking after my remains so much.”

Their bickering only amplifies the buzz around you, your head spinning at the overstimulation of the immediate environment.  

“Three years since I was last here and it seems like each show only grows in numbers per year.”

You squeeze your brother’s fingers gently. “Thanks for not leaving me to attend this by myself.”

“You’re my sister,” he says rather pointedly. “Who else am I going to be there for if not you?”

“Aw, Sicheng.”

The lights dim and guests begin filing to their designated seats, you and Sicheng thankfully next to Doyoung and Ten at front row. A brief introduction starts off the first day of the week-long event and you watch keenly at the models making their ways down the catwalk. It’s all too familiar: the clicking heels, cameras and flashing lights while models sashayed down the stage in the outfit the stylist had given them, hurried returns backstage to change, not to mention chaos from last-minute touchups on hair and makeup. The front row seat becomes twice as enjoyable—legs crossed, jacket covering your lap as you fiddle with your phone underneath.

“You’re not very good at being discreet.”

“Shh,” you shush at hearing Ten’s chiding. “I’m just checking my messages.”

“Sure, sweetie. And I’m so excited to be here when I could be out dancing at the club.”

You blow a raspberry at Ten and try to focus on the models and the clothes they were showing, but it is difficult when you were more excited about returning to the mobile game still running on your phone. Fleeting gazes between overlooking the men and women who walked back and forth down the catwalk and what was underneath your jacket, you cross your arms and lean your head against Ten’s shoulder, his cough failing to edge you back to your side of the personal space bubble.

“Don’t get caught, then.”

He turns his head to speak softly to Doyoung, careful to not move too much in case you slip and hit your head. Thoughts to eavesdrop on their conversation flicker briefly in your mind but manners stop you in your tracks.

“No, I’m out of energy already?”

The outburst catches the attention of the guests down the line and some behind your row, and you quickly lock the screen. Hurriedly sitting up straight, you pretend as if nothing had happened just now and return your attention to the show.

“Told you so,” Ten mutters under his breath, nudging at your forearm. “Behave.”

Thankfully the runway show ends sooner than expected, giving you the opportunity to wiggle away from Ten and Doyoung, Sicheng already somewhere off on his own as you leave the audience seats and head for the bathroom. Sitting for such a long period had you fidgety and when you got anxious, you usually ended up needing to go to the bathroom almost immediately after.

Business completed, your path back to Ten and Doyoung comes to a halt when you hear two raised voices. An angry-looking Kang Miyeon brushes past you without notice and pushes you aside, nearly causing you to lose footing had the steady pair of outstretched hands not kept you upright.

“Are you alright?”

You turn around, at a loss for words at the prompted question.

A grunt and Taeyong removes his hands.

“I guess I did something I shouldn’t have.”

“Taeyong, wait!”

He stops and you panic.

“I… You came to Fashion Week with Miyeon?”

“Yeah. I saw you with Sicheng on the red carpet.”

Tongue-tied, you fumble for a new topic to continue the conversation when you hear footsteps clicking down the hall.

“What’s going on here?”

Sicheng walks towards you, his arm linking around the crook of yours.

“Don’t you have better things to do than get my sister in trouble?”

“Sicheng, he wasn’t—”

“Goodbye,” Taeyong snaps, barely sparing another glance at you as he pushes through Doyoung and Ten, the pair catching sight of Sicheng and apparently followed to gauge at the spilled tea.

“Yeah, hi, Taeyong,” Doyoung replies cheerily, a frown instantly forming on his face once Taeyong is out of sight.

“Y/N, I literally don’t know what you see in him, he’s the rudest motherf—”

Forgoing a response to Doyoung, you notice there’s an extra person standing behind them, eyeing Ten questioningly before he catches your gaze and pats the newcomer warmly on the back.

“Don’t think you’ve met Jaehyun yet, sweetie. Idiot practically sprinted over when I told him you were here today.”

“I mean, you’re so good in front of the camera,” Jaehyun stammers, sentences incoherent while avoids your gaze. “Not saying you’re usually bad because that’s obviously your job, but I think it’s very cool that you can be so good at… at being in pictures. Even if you aren’t working today.”

“Our mother would disown us if we couldn’t even take a decent mug shot,” Sicheng quips, unimpressed by the jumbled introduction. “It’s comes with being raised by a supermodel, mister Golden Boy.”

Jaehyun ducks his head, ears reddening at hearing the title from the magazine spread that had first labeled him with that term alongside Ten and Taeyong..

“By the way,” Ten butts in, sensing the budding tension between them and switching gears to another topic. “How’s your mother? I overhead Sicheng ranting to a Charm’s assistant that you two are going to attend the remainder of SFW?”

You glance at your brother in surprise.

“What? Since when?”

“Mom’s flying to France tomorrow but promised beforehand that she’d attend,” Sicheng answers in an explanatory manner. “So she tossed us out to the dogs to save her own trip from falling apart at the chase of paparazzi.”

“Why didn’t I find out earlier?”

“I forgot to tell you,” your brother shrugs. “Now you know.”

“You make it sound like your mother doesn’t care about you,” Jaehyun begins cautiously.

“My sister and I had to learn how to navigate the fashion world on our own since we were young,” Sicheng deadpans. “Having her name to use as a bonus point during our go-sees was already the best advantage we could ever get as rookies on the runway.”

“We all have our own stories, Jaehyun,” Ten fills in helpfully. “Sicheng’s not trying to snub you on purpose.”

“Sorry,” your brother mumbles after realizing he had perhaps stepped over the line. “Our family is complex and I don’t expect everyone to understand it from the get-go.”

“No worries,” Jaehyun nods. “I didn’t mean to offend.”

The conversation eventually dying down, Jaehyun finally meets your gaze head-on and smiles a dimpled smile that doesn’t quite mask his nervousness at talking with you.

“So, um… after the shows are all over… one of my friends is hosting a party at the end of the week and I was wondering if you’d like to come?”

Your mouth drops in surprise and Ten’s ears twitch at the mention of a party.

“What party?”

“Lucas crashed his dad’s yacht in the docks the other day and he’s… it’s so ridiculous, he’s hosting a farewell party for the totaled yacht.”

A snort leaves your mouth before you know it and Doyoung jumps in, eager to get in on a share of the pie.

“Listeners get an invite too, yeah?”

“Sure. Knowing Lucas, he won’t mind who shows up as long as somebody shows up.”

“I’d like to go,” you begin, looking at Sicheng. “Wanna go?”

“I’ll pass. I’m going to catch up on my games.”

You turn to Jaehyun, not sure how to phrase your impending question.

“Um, do you… do you know if…”

Ten coughs knowingly and asks your question without making it too obvious.

“The rest of the gang will be there too, I’m assuming?”

“Yeah…” Jaehyun begins counting off his fingers. “Me, you, Lucas, Taeyong, Mark’s a maybe, Johnny and Jungwoo have yet to RSVP but I’m sure they’ll end up saying yes…”

The answer more than satisfactory, you enthusiastically agree to show up at the farewell yacht party and ignore the quiet mumble of “shameless” from Sicheng, the thought of seeing Taeyong at the party happily bringing a skip to your step as you follow Ten around to talk to the designers preparing for this evening’s show.

—

The party was apparently invitation-only, but the host greets you with enthusiasm when you inform him that Jaehyun had told you about it. Yukhei (or Lucas as everyone called him) provided a bit of background for holding this party as he showed you around the enormous mansion that he called home, pumping a fist in the air to commemorate a year and two months with his father��s yacht before it died under his hands. The story more comical with his exaggerative reactions, you apologize for the crashed yacht on his behalf and he grins, deeming you cool enough to stay and exchanging numbers to invite you on future hangouts with him and the rest of the crew. As expected of the fourth Golden Boy in the quartet.

“Hey, hey, hey.”

You turn around at the base of the stairs connecting the upper and lower floors and smile widely.

“Johnny! How’s it going?”

Johnny takes your hand, kissing your fingers before breaking to a warm smile. 

“Good. How’ve you been?”

“Alright. By the way, I didn’t see you at SFW.”

A tale of miscommunication between his manager and the travel agency had apparently delayed his return to Seoul, and Johnny excuses himself briefly before returning with two glasses of champagne, the bubbly beverage tickling your stomach as you down half the glass in one gulp.

“You’re not cold?” he asks, taking in the olive-green romper and your most comfortable pair of block heel sandals. “It’s a bit chilly today.”

“I’m good. If I need extra clothes, I’m sure Lucas will be more than willing to lend me a hoodie to wear.”

Johnny suggests moving to the living room rather than lingering on the stairs and you nod, plenty of people already present, ifferent threads of conversation exchanged between groups of twos and threes. House staff zip through each small group to serve champagne and other bite-sized snacks; those who weren’t talking lounged on the couches with red cups in their hands. A few recognizable faces here and there, but otherwise you didn’t know anyone else at this party besides the fellow model that was Johnny Seo.

“Where’s Ten? Jaehyun said he’ll be here.”

Johnny shrugs. “Maybe in the pool out back? I haven’t gotten to mingle since I just got here twenty minutes before you did.”

You make a pit stop at the kitchens before heading out to the pool, dropping off your emptied glass of champagne and picking up another one from the refreshments table. The red cups on the side would do well for a mixed concoction later, which you make a mental note of as you maneuver around the mansion. Upon careful observation, the layout reminded you quite a bit of the place your mother owned in Vegas. Only difference here is that there were more girls in the hallways and almost all the rooms on the upper floors were already occupied with those hooking up or inhaling fumes of questionable scents that you weren’t interested in at all. No sign of Ten inside, so you suppose Johnny was right in that Ten might be in the pool out back after all.

Pulling open the glass door that led to the pool, you spot Ten and Doyoung by the chaise lounge chairs scattered around the bleached waters. Doyoung is the first to notice you via the champagne glass in hand and he raises his own when you approach them.

“When are the two of you ever not together?”

Ten grins and you take a sip of your champagne after clinking glasses with the two of them, the conversation drifting from details regarding Ten being the one who can’t seem to stay away from Doyoung to Ten daring Doyoung to cannonball into the pool since he was already perfectly prepared for a lap around with his swim trunks and conveniently waterproof navy tee.

“The water’s cold,” he complains. “I’m not going in even if I got paid to do it.”

“Join him,” Ten smirks, gesturing for you to make a lap as well.

“I’m not dressed properly but I’ll keep you company on the edge if you’d like,” you tell Doyoung, who grudgingly gives in as he takes off his tee and throws it smack at Ten’s face before heading for the pool. Groaning in frustration, he slides into the cold water and shouts profanities, raising a fist at Ten for convincing him to do such a thing.

“Make a lap around,” Ten yells from his lounge chair, adding a circling motion with his index finger for emphasis. “You’ll get warmed up that way.”

You giggle at their banter and take off your sandals, placing them to your left as you sit and dip your feet into the water, wiggling your toes at the cooling sensation.

“By the way, have you seen Taeyong?”

“Oh, sorry sweetie, he’s not coming,” Ten answers. “Said he’s helping his sister with some marketing decisions for her clothing line. Something about her not liking the model he suggested, I think.”

“Miyeon?” you ask with a sigh.

“Who else?”

Not answering the proposed rhetorical question, you kick aimlessly and nearly fall in at the sudden tap on your shoulder.

“Hi there.”

You look up, scooting over to give Jaehyun space. He leans back, arms taut at the edge of the pool while his legs splash at the water.

“How’s the water?”

“Alright,” you shrug. “But I’m not dressed properly for a swim.”

“I’m not either, but clearly we’re still able to enjoy the pool, yeah?”

You smile, nodding in agreement.

“Yeah.”

He grins in return, reaching his arms into the pool and splashing up water your way. A mini water fight commences and after five minutes you find yourself pulled into the pool after Jaehyun, fully soaked from head-to-toe as he circles around you in delight.

“Jung Jaehyun, I hope you know I didn’t bring a change of clothes!”

“Then I guess we’re both going to have to walk around soaking wet.”

Rolling your eyes, you shake your head and head for the stepladder, pulling yourself out of the pool and squeezing water out of your hair while a towel drapes over your shoulders.

“Thought you might need this.”

You turn and open your arms, Ten squirming in distaste when you get water over his black tank top.

“Sometimes I’m too nice to you, sweetie.”

“You love me.”

Ten rolls his eyes and tosses another towel behind you, a soaked Jaehyun catching it with one hand.

“What happened to keeping Doyoung company by the pool?”

You smile awkwardly and Ten shakes his head. “Jaehyun distracted you, huh?”

“Knowing Doyoung, he’s found someone to chat up,” Jaehyun laughs, gesturing at the tall lanky figure sitting on a lounge chair on the opposite side of the pool. Engaged in an animated conversation with a girl in a navy bikini, it didn’t seem like he had regretted his decision to go for a swim as she pulls him up and they enter the water again.

“See?” Jaehyun reiterates. “He has a magnet to him.”

“You two should consider getting a change of clothes,” Ten suggests. “I’m heading in for another glass of champagne.”

“I actually have an extra set of clothes in my car,” Jaehyun offers. “How about it?”

You nod furiously, not wanting to remain in wet clothes.

“Yes, please.”

Weaving back inside and out to his white Ferrari parked two blocks away, he hands you a plain white tee when you reach his car, the dry shirt topped with a dark-green plaid button-up that was cut at the elbows, hemline likely long enough to cover your thighs.

“I only have one pair of jeans but I can call someone to bring you a pair of shorts or something?”

“That’s fine.”

He nods and unlocks the car so you can change inside.

“There’s a plastic bag in there somewhere for your wet dress, I’m sure.”

“Okay.”

The door closes and you quickly change out of your romper, careful to not drip too much water on the backseat while you look for a bag, Once you find one, you drop the wet garment inside and tie it shut. Pulling the clean shirt and plaid top over your chilled body, you note the sleeves stop at your forearms and the hem drops almost to your knees, almost but not quite there yet. As a model, you were taller than the average female, but still felt engulfed in Jaehyun’s clothes when he was only a few inches taller in height.

A knock sounds on the passenger side and you roll down the window, mumbling a thank you at the pair of shorts passed through and rolling the glass back up before changing into the bottoms that are just a bit loose.

“Do you maybe have a belt?” you ask curiously as you tuck the white tee into the shorts. “It’s a bit loose around my waist.”

“Should have one in the trunk,” Jaehyun replies, opening the trunk of his sports car. “Hold on.”

You wonder why he would have a belt of all things in his trunk, but gratefully take the given accessory as you loop it around your shorts and tighten the space around your waist.

“You look nice,” he speaks up, giving you a once-over. “Not saying you didn’t look nice in your own clothes, but you look…”

“What,” you probe on, noticing that he started to mumble. “Do I look ugly?”

“No, not at all,” he blurts. “You just… you look extra pretty wearing my clothes.”

“Oh.”

“Back to the pool or would you rather talk inside?” Jaehyun asks with a soft dimpled smile.

“Pool is fine,” you answer, feeling already much better after the disappointing news of Taeyong’s no-show. “Just don’t push me in this time.”

—

You don’t realize when you passed out, nose twitching at the smell of cigarette smoke drifting your way. The smoky scent is unpleasant to the nostrils as your eyes squint in the dimness of the room. Unable to make out anything in the first two seconds of consciousness, your arm grazes against the vibration of the mobile device that slipped out of your pocket, and you take a deep breath, forcing your eyes open to take the call.

“Hello? Oh, sorry, you’ve got the wrong number.”

Hanging up, you get up from the bed you were sleeping on and step out, head buzzing ferociously from the aftereffect of having consumed too much alcohol. It is 1am and the villa is void of human presence. The party must have ended earlier when you were knocked out, all the other guests already home at a reasonable hour to prepare for the following day’s work.  

“N-No, not there…”

The sound of soft moans accompanied with low grunts catches your attention. Against your better judgment, you make your way out to investigate, only to find the man you had been wanting to see entangled with some girl you didn’t recognize. Lips locked, one hand trailing through her blonde pixie cut… you slowly back up until he shifts his gaze from her face to your presence from his peripheral. A smirk builds upon the corners of his mouth and the hand in her hair trails down from her head to her hips, squeezing roughly while keeping a firm eye on you while still touching her. His teasing yet provocative gaze irritating to watch, you end up bumping into the host himself in your attempt to get away.

“Hey, you’re still here.”

“I’m sorry,” you smile, flustered at being practically the only guest still here. “I passed out and didn’t realize everyone else had already left.”

“It’s cool. Do you need a ride home?”

“Um, no, I don’t think so, I’ll just—”

“I’ll take her home.”

A flash of a figure whizzes past and you flinch at the hand resting on your shoulder, recognizing the thin fingers at first glance.

“Taeyong, you don’t…”

“That alright with you, Lucas?” The grip on your shoulder tightens and you allow yourself a glance at his face. Stoic as usual, albeit the glow along his cheeks spoke otherwise.

“Of course,” Lucas nods, flamboyantly gesturing towards the front door. “Lovely having you over, miss Y/N, and please get home safely.”

Once goodbyes are exchanged, Taeyong mumbles for you to follow, leading the way towards the black Lamborghini Aventador parked right outside the mansion’s driveway.

“After you.”

You nod in thanks at the opened door on the passenger side; he closes the door after you before getting into the driver’s seat. Seat belt check and he is already out on the streets, the ride home thick with silence. Not that you didn’t know what to say, but you’re careful to not bring up any sensitive topics, namely the girl you had seen him kissing or even Miyeon.

“This is it, yeah?”

You look up and see the familiar gates of your home, slightly disappointed that your time in his car is already over.

“Yes.”

A curt nod and he unbuckles his seat belt, getting out to open the door for you and even offering a hand as you step out.

“Taeyong, I thought you weren’t going to come to the party.”

“Changed my mind.” He pauses, glancing at the extended sleeves of Jaehyun’s dark green plaid top.

“Isn’t that Jaehyun’s shirt?”

“He let me borrow his clothes after pushing me into the pool.”

Taeyong nods warily and places a hand on the ceiling of his vehicle as he gestures at the looming estate up ahead.

“Why…” You bite your lips, not sure where your boldness was coming from. “Why did you choose to drive me back?”

“I found you passed out next to Ten and Doyoung when I got here at around…. 9pm? Moved you upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms but didn’t know when you’d come to so I stayed after everyone else left.”

“But the girl… you and her in the kitchen…”

“It’s nothing to be concerned about,” he says dismissively, “I have no business with her other than temporary fun at the spur of the moment.”

“Are… Are you still mad at me for your breakup with Miyeon?”

His eyes narrow at the abrupt question and you laugh it off.

“I must be drunk; I don’t know what came over me to ask such a—”

“Not anymore.”

You pause, and he coughs into his sleeve.

“I don’t… I don’t hate you for it when she was the one who jumped to conclusions.”

Gasping, you clasp your hands together and he studies your face in amusement.

“You thought I was mad at you?”

“I…  I thought that was why you kept giving me the cold shoulder! Because you were mad at me for causing the breakup between you and Miyeon!” Your giggles echoing in the silence of the night; what comes next is a surprise for you and Taeyong both as you lean forward to press your lips against his cheek.

“Thank you,” you whisper happily. “Thank you for not hating me.”

He dips his head low, eyes scanning over the dark green plaid top you were wearing.

“Good night, Y/N.”

You lift a hand goodbye, a growing smile playing along your lips as you return home for a well-deserved eight hours of sleep.

He never said he hated me, which I still have just as much of a chance as I did before.

Morning rolls in quicker than expected, and the first thing you see upon opening your eyes is a text message from none other than Taeyong himself, an invitation to his house for tea and maybe even dinner if you had the time.

“Don’t go.”

“Are you snooping through my phone again?” you ask, placing the black lace choker around your neck.

“He’s just using you to get back at her,” Sicheng scoffs as he picks through your closet. “Surely you know that?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Not in the mood to press on, your brother sighs and gives his two cents on what to wear to an afternoon tea, opting for you to go in a light blue off-the-shoulder chambray dress and beige espadrilles.

“Bring me back a cake if you can.”

You shake your head. “Only if you come with.”

“Then no thanks. Have fun and don’t come into my room when you get back; I’m gaming.”

—

“Hey, it’s you!”

“Oh… hello,” you say in surprise at seeing the eager grin on Lucas’ face. “Are you here for tea?”

“Yeah, man.” He opens the door wider and helps you take your bag. “Taeyong’s sister makes the best cakes.”

“Oh, it’s Y/N!”

You find yourself in the company of Ten and Jaehyun, Johnny with the promise of arriving a.s.a.p. after a photoshoot and one of Lucas’ friends in lieu of Doyoung. Jungwoo, he said his name was.

“You came,” the familiar voice says as tea and a platter of bite-sized sandwiches is placed down on the table.

“Taeyong, where’s the cake stand?” Ten asks. “I want cake.”

“We’re making it, have some patience.”

You take a seat wherever there’s room (conveniently next to Jaehyun), and light conversation makes it way around the circle, topics ranging from Lucas’ farewell yacht party last night to the earlier Seoul Fashion Week. All items you can chime in on as the guys enjoy their tea and sandwiches while the tower of cakes was still m.i.a.

“Oh, Jaehyun,” you speak up. “I forgot to bring the clothes you lent me, I’ll get those back to you as soon as possible.”

“It’s cool,” Jaehyun smiles. “I’m in no rush to get them back.”

“What’s this clothes exchange?” Lucas smirks. “Jaehyun let you borrow his clothes?”

“Idiot shoved her into the pool and she had to get a change of clothes,” Ten explains. “Nothing like the sort of things your dirty mind was assuming.”

Slightly disappointed, Lucas shrugs and Jungwoo nearly chokes on his sandwich when Lucas not-so-subtly extends the offer to give you an exchange of clothes without needing to shove you into a pool. The innuendo easy to pick up, you shift your focus onto the half-empty cup of tea on your saucer and reach for the teapot when Jaehyun beats you to it, offering a dimpled smile as he refills your cup.

“Thanks,” you mumble.

“No problem.”

“Cake! Cake!” Ten jumps up from his seat at the three-tier cake stand set down before him and grabs everything off the top tier, ignoring the scowls and murmurings of being a snob as he stuffs his face with the sweets he’d been craving for so long.

“Tart?”

You look up to the offered lemon tart and nod, mumbling thanks to Taeyong as he hands you a lemon tart along with a few of the strawberry macarons. One bite of each is enough to send you directly into pastry heaven, any concern about your calorie intake for the sake of dieting tossed out the window.

“It’s delicious, Taeyong.”

A rare smile lights up on his face, one you don’t see often. 

“I made that myself.”

“Did you now?” Ten marvels, grabbing another off the stand while at it. “I didn’t know you bake.”

“I’m working on it as an aside to my usual hobby of cooking,” Taeyong says while nibbling at a walnut scone.

“Nope, this is dry. The tart’s fine though, I hope?”

“Yes,” you confirm, Ten following suit. “It’s perfect.”

He clasps his hands and gets up without another word, sprinkling confusion into the circle before returning with a red box and placing it before you.

“What’s this?” you ask curiously.

“Open it,” Jungwoo encourages. “I think it’s moving.”

“Moving?”

The doorbell rings as you ponder over the box and in walks Johnny and Taeyong’s ex.

“Bumped into Miyeon on my way here and extended the tea invitation,” Johnny informs the host and his guests. “Don’t mind, do you?”

“Not at all,” Taeyong says crisply, shooting a more-than-enthusiastic grin at Miyeon. The model barely glances his way, mumbling brief greetings before taking note of your presence.

“Oh, hello, Y/N. Didn’t know you’d be here.”

You put on the best smile you had and nod.

“The feeling is mutual, Miyeon.”

“Tea and cakes are for the taking,” Ten breaks in, no doubt sensing the sudden tension and attempting to shoo it away for the sake of camaraderie. “And these pastries, Taeyong made them himself.”

“Still lacking,” Taeyong smiles, turning your way again. “And you haven’t opened my gift yet.”

“Oh, right.” You reach for the ribbon at the top and pull it off, opening the lid to reveal a small black kitten that is the most adorable little thing, its copper eyes staring curiously up at you before letting out a single meow.

“This one,” Taeyong wiggles a finger at the black kitten, “Was the last in its litter at a family friend’s place and she reminded me of the one Ten was working with at his photoshoot. You were there too, I recall.”

“Yes.” You gently scoop up the kitten from her box and gently scratch at her ears, the little feline purring in delight at your soft touch.

“Is this kitten… is it really for me?”

“She’s yours if you want her.”

You loosen your hold and watch as she clambers over laps, stopping before Jaehyun and batting tiny paws at his fingers before jumping onto the table with the teapot and cakes.

“Sicheng is going to love her.”

“What a nice gift,” Miyeon smiles curtly. “You’re so kind, Taeyong.”

He eyes Miyeon and leans over to take your hand in his, grasping your fingers tightly.

“Anything for my girlfriend, you know. Whatever she wants, she will get without question.”

—

In your head, you told yourself Taeyong called you his girlfriend because he genuinely liked you.

No one had been expecting it. Even now, you find it hard to believe the change in status for yourself whenever you received lavish gifts and invitations to join him and his friends plus other big names out for dinner or other social gatherings. The press had eaten it up like starved dogs, rapidly flashing their cameras while drilling you about the story of how you’d gotten together and other probing details about your relationship with him. There were only so many ways to say how grateful you were at having your feelings returned and describe how happy you had become since then, hence you’d offer only the most minimum of details whenever the topic was brought up.

Sicheng openly confronted the lack of care for your feelings upon first hearing the news, but dropped it at seeing the eager look on your face at any mention of Taeyong; the contents of the moving box you’d brought home proved useful to distract him instead. The kitten (given the name Luna courtesy of his not-so-hidden love for Sailor Moon) served as the perfect distraction from words of encouragement to break things off and you loved the adorable midnight munchkin to pieces. You hadn’t thought Taeyong would remember you had been there when Ten brought over the cat during his work.

Of course, not everyone let the announcement of your new relationship go that easily, the biggest protestor coming from none other than Jaehyun, whom you still owed the set of clothes you had borrowed during Lucas’ yacht party.

◇

“Hey, didn’t know you’d be here.”

Jaehyun looks from up the reserved table at the seafood restaurant and nods curtly.

“Ten invited me.”

“And so I did,” comes the jolly voice that follows the tap on your shoulder. “Is Taeyong joining you, sweetie?”

“He said he’s busy,” you answer. “Next time, though.”

“Order anything you’d like,” Ten announces as he flips open the menu. “My treat.”

“Whatever’s the most expensive then, since you’re paying.”

Throughout the meal, you notice Jaehyun’s aloofness doesn’t go away for a second. Only offering one-word responses whenever you asked him questions and even ignoring you altogether for Ten, the latter strapped in the middle with nowhere to go as he juggled between the two of you for the sake of preventing a fight from breaking out.

“Thanks for treating,” you say when the party of three finishes up. “The shrimp was really good.”

“Jaehyun recommended this place, so I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

You glance at Jaehyun, who refuses to say a word until the outburst of Ten being late to an afternoon work call renders you losing the ride you had arrived with.

“Drive her back, will you? I’m going to be late for work at this rate.”

Silence resumes its hold and Ten waves goodbye without waiting for a reply, the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun prickling.

“Um… I can get back home myself if it’s too much trouble,” you speak up. “It’s really not a big deal.”

“I can drive you back,” he says crisply. “Come on.”

The valet brings forth Jaehyun’s white Ferrari after a moment’s notice and you get into the vehicle, nodding your thanks at his opening of the passenger side for you before he entered the driver’s seat and shifted gear, driving off with you in tow.

“So why the cold shoulder suddenly?”

“Not sure what you mean.” The car rolls to a stop at a red light and he turns to you with a rather forced smile. “I’m not being cold.”

“I thought we were friends, Jaehyun.”

The engine quiets down and Jaehyun scoffs.

“Friends don’t ignore genuine advice to wake up from the dream that is Taeyong actually liking you.”

“What is with—”

“He’s just using you to get back with Miyeon!” His hands slam down on the steering wheel, a heavy sigh echoing within the car. “Literally everyone knows he’s only using you to provoke her and it’s really—”

“They’re not together,” you intercept, voice lowered. “He told me so.”

“Men are liars, Y/N.”

“Are you saying you’re a liar then?”

Jaehyun glances at you with a pitied softness.

“I’m not as good as I want to be, but I’m trying.”

The light shifts to green and a revving engine takes off down the road, stopping once the gates of your mansion-sized home come into view.

“I hope you can find happiness with someone who genuinely cares about you, Y/N,” he finishes. “As a friend, I think that’s the least you deserve.”

—

Jaehyun’s words remain afloat in the sea of consciousness that is your fretting mind, and they don’t seem to relinquish their hold no matter how hard you try to dismiss it as pure paranoia. Every relationship has its ups and downs; it is simply a matter of willpower and active effort to communicate any troubles and work them out between the two of you. Taeyong wasn’t the most vocal person, but he still made efforts to make you happy with gifts and showed up to dates. You were happy when you got to spend time with him and made sure he knew it, mouth nearly aching from how widely you’d grin whenever he called and asked for you to go out with him. Surely he also felt the same with you if you were still together for so long.

But the nagging feeling always lingered in the back of your head, informing you that this was something too good to be true. That it wasn’t genuine, that you were only being used to get back at his ex… a part of your brain was so sure that this was all a hoax. Ongoing anxiety and paranoia had spun your feelings into a churning mess in your head that would eventually run rampage unless you rein it back into reality.

Which is why when you finally speak up about it one week after your three-month anniversary, you couldn’t fathom why you didn’t detect the burnt bits earlier when the entire pot had been bubbling incessantly the moment the course of things had been set into motion.

“Are you still in love with Kang Miyeon?”

Taeyong doesn’t look up from his phone, fingers tapping on the screen as the sales associate returns with two sets of suits. One a glen check while the other pinstripe, both are in the preferred shade of faded gray that he liked.

“Sir, perhaps these are more to your liking?”

A nod of approval at the sales associate’s question and he tucks his phone away without even sparing a second glance at the offered suits.

“I’ll take both.”

“Taeyong,” you persist. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“It’s an irrelevant one that doesn’t deserve an answer.”

The sales associate stands still, unsure of how to deal with the impending argument until Taeyong gestures for her to ring him up. Tilting his head to show thanks while grabbing the paper bags off the counter, he pulls you after him with his free hand, leaving the store only to enter the one next door for “a more comfortable pair of shoes than boring black heels”.

“Try these,” he says, picking up a pair of brogues from the women’s section. “They look more comfortable than the ones you have on.”

“I… Taeyong, can you listen to me for once?”

“Excuse me, a pair of these for the lady and an extra bag to pack the heels. She’ll be walking out in the new ones.”

“Would you please just stop being such an asshole and let me speak!”

The outburst captures all noise from inside the store and silence lingers before Taeyong turns to you, expressionless as he leads you to an empty chair and take the high heels off your feet. Easing the brogues out of the box, he carefully slips them on for you and offers a hand, which you take before twirling slowly once you’re up from the seat.

“Better than the heels?” he asks quietly. “I can still return them if they don’t fit.”

“They fit,” you mumble, “And they’re more comfortable than the heels.”

A nod and he takes your shoes, thanking the staff for their service as he walks out with you in tow. No words are exchanged until you exit the mall and reach his car, the Aventador waiting underneath the shade of a tree in the parking lot.

“Are you still in love with Miyeon?”

“Yes.”

He opens the door for you and you get in, already expectant of such an answer. The fact that there wasn’t even an inch of hesitation after you finished your words was more than enough to confirm.

“Then why did you say I was your girlfriend that time she came over for tea?”

“I needed leverage.” The car backs out of its parked space and revs off, the rest of the world a blur through the glass at its speed. “I told everyone you were my girlfriend because I wanted her to see that breaking up with me was her loss.”

The word “leverage” a harsher reality than you’d expected, an unpleasant sensation churns at your stomach, traveling upwards to your chest as your hands unconsciously curl into fists during the ride. Not daring to look at Taeyong while he was driving, you keep your head down and it remains in that posture until you feel the softest tap on your shoulder.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I caused any misunderstandings. I know I took you out a few times and now all my friends are sure we’re an item, but—”

A misunderstanding would be the least of your troubles if you hadn’t already invested so much time and emotion into a relationship that only proved false in the end.

“N-No worries.”

“Are you sure?” Taeyong makes a left turn and glances at the mirror before switching to the right lane. “I mean, I can make it up to you.”

“It’s fine,” you insist, voice hardening. “I really shouldn’t have expected much when you’d never explicitly said anything about making things official between us.”

Spotting your brother’s hunched figure by the foot of the steps leading up to your family mansion’s front doors, you wait for the vehicle to come to a full stop before reaching for the handle of the door on the passenger’s side, only to pause as Taeyong unbuckles his seatbelt and reaches towards the backseat, grabbing the bag that held the shoes he had bought for you.

“Here. I hope you like the shoes I got you.”

You step out of the vehicle without taking them and he follows behind, concern rolling off his shoulders in waves.

“Is everything alright?”

“I’m fine,” you say, forcing down the choked sobs that were threatening to spill any moment. “I just… I think I need to lie down.”

“Well, please take the shoes anyway. A token of my apology for not making things clear between us, if you will.”

He extends the shopping bag and you take it from him against your better judgment. A thin smile follows, the gesture revealing little about his true thoughts as per usual.

“Goodbye, Taeyong.”

Taking the cue to leave, he nods and hops back into his Lamborghini Aventador, engine revving as the black convertible speeds off into the distance. You don’t look back, and Sicheng stares in confusion at the sight of your figure approaching the gate.

“Luna, look who’s back early.”

Quick glances at the things in your hands and two fingers scratch behind the kitten’s right ear. “How was your date with Taeyong?”

The tears come rushing down your face like a waterfall, and Sicheng immediately helps you inside, placing Luna down and guiding you sit while he fishes a box of tissues from underneath the coffee table.

“What happened, why are you crying?”

You shake your head, heart aching at the reality of your utopia crumbling away from its high pedestal.

“I’m stupid.”

“What, no, you’re not stupid.”

“I’m stupid,” you repeat, sniffling through your tears. “I’m so stupid for realizing just now that everything was one-sided from the very beginning.”

—

You decide to stay away from Taeyong and the rest of his usual gang of friends, fearful of spontaneously breaking into tears at seeing any one of them when they reminded you of the one-sided love you had held onto for so long.

Jaehyun didn’t pry, only sending you a text promising that he was always available should you decide for company at any time of the day. Ten and Johnny were harder to avoid since you’d see them occasionally at studios and other sets for pictorials, so you gave a rather washed out lie of being busy with jobs as the primary reason for not hanging out. The same spiel was offered to Lucas whenever he offered invites to parties and casual drinks at the club. Only Sicheng knew why you were distancing yourself—as expected of your sibling—and you made him promise to keep quiet for your sake in case the others asked him about your sudden aloofness.

“Can you walk later?” he asks as he holds onto the dress for your final show of the fall season. “I can call in a sick day for you so management can find a replacement in time before eight.”

“I…” You yawn, fatigue coursing through your veins from having done three photoshoots since five am. “I can… I can do it.”

“Are you sure? Your eyes are droopy and I think it’ll be better for you to just take some time off rather than overwork as a coping mechanism for you-know-what.”

You shake your head, blowing your nose one last time and taking a deep breath.

“I… I’ll just rest now. It’s only seven, I can sneak in an hour of light sleep before doing the show.”

Sixty minutes pass in the blink of an eye and you now stare at your reflection in the mirror in the breakroom backstage of the runaway show you were scheduled for tonight, adjusting the sewn flowers by your shoulders. More red blossoms stitched at the bottom of the gown pool by your feet, the gradation from a nude coloration to blood-red a stunning sight to behold. The floral garment had walked down the runway in Toronto Fashion Week and was provided for the foliage theme of tonight’s show courtesy of your mother, who had pulled several strings to directly receive the piece from the designer himself. Although you weren’t too enthusiastic on the sheerness of the gown, you loved the way the red flowers adorned the bodice and added a blazing elegance to the nudity of the fabric, your stylist nearly weeping on the spot when the gown had been brought in for you to wear and her to work with. Pulling your hair up to let the flowers have room to shine, she then clips accessory pieces to your earlobes for added effect and touches up your eyes, giving you the okay before hurrying out to see when it is your turn to go.

“Y/N, they switched you from sixth to fourth! You’re up next!”

At the sound of the call, you shuffle out, heels clicking while you pick up the ends of the gown to not step on the fabric and tear a hole in the garment itself.

“Ten seconds, standby please!”

Poking your head out from the side, your eyes scan across those in the audience, catching Sicheng by the front with Ten and Johnny. Further down is Jaehyun and you manage to make momentary eye contact. He nods, offering a tiny wave before turning his head to the right at the arrival of Lucas and one more.

You freeze in place when you see Taeyong, blinking twice to make sure you weren’t seeing things.

What is he doing here?

You hear your name being called frantically and turn your attention back to the runway, apologizing for missing your cue. Taking a deep breath, you make your first steps down, lights flashing and camera shutters going off as you maintain your line of sight straight ahead. Audible murmurs of awe can be heard at the sheer gown you were wearing, the sewn-in red flowers swishing and swirling around your clicking heels. So far, so good. So far, so good.

Shifting a glance towards Sicheng’s side of the exhibition hall, you strike a pose and take your place at the center of the catwalk, lifting one end of the gown and preparing your final pose when your eyes catch Taeyong leaning in towards his left. A manicured hand covers her face, but you don’t even need to make a guess when there was only one woman in the world who can make him smile so genuinely like that.

What magic did she cast to get him to look at her and only her? What was it about her that made him never waver from her time and time again?

Mind blank, ears buzzing from the sound of frantically flashing cameras, reality becomes painful to perceive and you feel yourself wobbling in the black four-inch heels on your feet. Soft murmurs building with fear for your sudden show of imbalance, you shake your head and make your last mark on the runway, locking in eye contact with Taeyong as he studies you on the catwalk. Three seconds before he breaks the gaze to turn at Miyeon murmuring into his ear, smiling once more into whatever she had said to him.

That was perhaps when you’d finally had enough of this whole charade, the sharp intake of breath akin to a shrill scream on toppling off the runway. Consciousness slipping from your very reach, it is impossible to fathom that you had just fallen so cleanly off the catwalk you’d set foot on so many, many times before.

◇

“Oh, thank God she didn’t hit her head or damage anything too important.”

You blink your eyes open to the blinding white fluorescents above and wince at the aching pain by your right leg.

“Where…”

Sicheng quickly helps you sit up and rubs two fingers against his temple.

“The hospital. You fell off the runway.”

“Fell off?”

“I don’t know if it was the gown or what, but you fell off and—” He gestures at your completely bandaged right leg. “You were lucky Jaehyun was fast enough to break your fall.”

“Jaehyun… Jaehyun caught me?”

“Yup. He’s waiting outside with the rest of the gang right now.”

“Don’t let anyone in,” you blurt out. “It’s… embarrassing.”

“Mom was frantic when she heard about the fall. She threatened the paparazzi to leave or she’ll set their agencies on fire.”

A dry chuckle leaves your lips and you strain to move your legs, the left one just fine while the right one stung with an aching pain.

“Doctor said your right ankle is broken and there might be some other fractures from heavy force against the muscles,” Sicheng says as he offers you a glass of water, which you deny. “And Jaehyun told us he caught you before you hit your head but missed the timing of your legs toppling over the stage.

“Want me to tell him to come in? I think he’d like to know if he saved you from dying or not.”

“Alright.”

Your brother gets up and Jaehyun enters shortly after exchanging a quick nod with Sicheng, relief settling in his eyes when he sees you conscious and more-or-less in one piece.

“I heard you ran to save me,” you bring up, patting your right leg. “Thank you.”

“I’m only glad I was close enough from the runway,” he jokes, dimple carved into his left cheek. “Otherwise it would’ve been too late.”

“Is…”

“Taeyong was here for a bit before leaving to go home and report to his sister,” Jaehyun answers. “He offers his concerns and wishes you a speedy recovery.”

Your heart sinks at hearing the message and Jaehyun narrows his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you fell because of him.”

“No,” you lie, the memory of his intimacy with Miyeon a barb biting into your skin. “I think I just tripped on the gown. Believe it or not, these types of things happen to even the best of us.”

He drops the topic and eyes the glass of untouched water by the bedside table.

“You really should drink some water.”

“Fine, give it.” You grab the glass from him and take quiet sips, eventually finishing the entirety of the cup under Jaehyun’s supervision.

“Happy?”

“I’ll inform your mother that you’re awake and bring you some food. You’re probably hungry too.”

“Why… Why are you so nice to me?”

He smiles again, a tender gesture that hit too close for comfort.

“We’re friends and I care about you.”

“You… don’t have to be so kind when I had it coming.” The sniffles start up again and before long, trickling streams of tears drip onto the bedsheets. “I…”

Warm arms wrap around you securely and you rest your head against his neck, pouring out the feelings of agony and unrequited love for a man who had never once thought of you as anything more than a tool in his attempt to win back another woman’s heart.

“I loved him, Jaehyun,” you sob into his shoulder. “Why did I not see the signs earlier that he was only using me to win her back?”

◇

“How is she?”

Jaehyun looks up after closing the door behind him.

“You came back.”

Taeyong takes a step forward to enter the room but a firm hand stops him from advancing.

“She just fell asleep,” Jaehyun says quietly. “Leave her be.”

“I just want to see if she’s okay.”

The corners of his mouth twitch and Jaehyun jabs a finger at Taeyong’s shoulder, shoving the latter back.

“You are the last person allowed to say something like that after what happened to her.”

“What the hell is your problem?” Taeyong scowls. “I’m only—”

“My problem? You’re the one who took advantage of her feelings for your own selfish purposes!” Considering the location of the conversation, he lowers his volume before a nurse kicks them out from the hallway. “You treated her like one of your toys and now think you can swing by to ask how she’s doing after using her like that?”

“This is none of your business, Jaehyun.”

“It became my business when I saved her just in time after she fell off the runway. What were you doing back then, huh? Chatting it up with your ex?”

Taeyong falls silent and Jaehyun growls at the lack of a rebuttal.

“I figured.”

“Y/N is my friend too, Jaehyun.”

“If you considered her a friend, then you wouldn’t have manipulated her into thinking you and her were together just to get back with your ex! I know we’re friends and all, but you think you’re so great and almighty when you’re just a guy who can’t differentiate between people who are true to you with people who approach you just because of your background and looks. How is any of that fair to those around you, especially to those who love you?”

Taeyong purses his lips and Jaehyun crosses his arms.

“She genuinely loved you for you and you just trampled on her feelings like they were garbage.”

“I will come see her tomorrow to offer an apology.”

“No, you won't. You don’t have to give her false hope like that when she knows you’re not worth waiting for anymore.”

—

You spend the next six weeks and counting resting up in the hospital for the sake of your injured right leg, unable to walk and let alone work in any other events that had you in mind. Sicheng visited every single day along with Jaehyun and the two became fast friends because of it, juggling between keeping you company with getting to know each other better outside of the four white walls of the medical center. Ten occasionally dropped by amidst work and jokingly offered to keep your name alive if you ended up not being able to model anymore, but switched to a more serious tone the day he brought in the largest fruit basket you’d ever seen, giving his genuine conviction in a full recovery after your accident. Support from friends and family along with medical professionals guiding you every step of the way… the process was made more bearable and you found your leg growing stronger and able to withstand more weight with each consecutive day.

Taeyong didn’t visit much, but he was the last thing on your mind now, the puzzle pieces finally fitting into the picture of him never being interested in you that way at all.

“Look who I brought to visit you.”

You gasp and make grabbing motions at the cat in Jaehyun’s arms, now a little bigger but still as affectionate as it wiggled onto your lap.

“You’re not so small now, Luna!”

“She’s been eating more and growing quite a bit,” Jaehyun smiles. “And I snuck her in, so don’t tell the nurse you saw your cat today.”

The black feline purrs at the scratching behind her ears and you smile at the cuteness that is the midnight-colored Luna.

“Thank you for bringing her, Jaehyun.”

“How’s the leg? Easier to walk now, I hope?”

“I’ve been very diligently practicing with the staff,” you reply, patting the right-side of your hospital bed. “It’s only a matter of time before a full discharge, I think.”

“That’s great to hear and I’m happy for you.”

You pick up more to his words than what meets the eye and probe further until he cracks a dimpled smile.

“You seem happier now and I’m happy that you’re happy,” he says in earnest. “That’s all.”

“Do I?”

“You’re glowing brighter than ever before and it’s blinding.”

“Stop exaggerating,” you laugh, dismissing the cheesy words with a shake of your head. “I was never like that.”

“You were always the brightest star to me, especially so after what’s happened.

“I’ve said too much,” Jaehyun mumbles. “I gotta go.”

“Wait…”

He pauses midway of reaching for Luna, and you reluctantly hand over your cat, watching wistfully as he places her into the white carrying case he had brought her in.

“I just wanted to hold her a bit longer.”

“Maybe I can sneak her in again tomorrow.”

“I’ll hold you to that. And Jaehyun?”

“Yes?”

You take a deep breath and lean forward, dipping your head until your back is fully hunched over to show your sincerity.

“Thank you for visiting every day and giving me strength after my fall.”

“I won’t accept that because it’s what any decent human would do.

“Take care.”

You nod and give an extra wave to the carrying case as he leaves you to rest. Adjusting your position to lay down, you fold your hands over your stomach and gaze upwards at the ceiling.

“Am I imagining things or is Jaehyun even more weird than usual?”

As your thoughts simmer, the sharp vibration of your phone brings you back to reality. You reach over to pick up the call, puzzled at the sound of muffled speech through the other end of the line.

“Hello? Who is this?”

Buzzing and crackles tickle your ear and you’re halfway into hanging up when the high-pitched whine of your name stops you from pressing the button, an identifier for the unknown caller easily coming to mind when you’d been the subject of such whines so many times.

“Is this Taeyong?”

“BIIIINGO.” Slurred mumbling followed by another whine of your name keeps you on the line as you listen to the sound of clinking glasses mixed with low grunts—he was probably out drinking and had called you by mistake.

“I’m hanging up now.”

“No, don’t! Don’t hang up, don’t hang up…” A groan and his voice drops to a low mutter, bordering on raspy as his words become less structured.

“I need…. Sorry.”

“What?”

“Sorry,” he repeats, three bubbly giggles and a hiccup. “Sorry to say… I’m sad.”

You sigh, not in the mood to keep him entertained over a booty call.

“I’m not in the mood for this.”

The whining only persists. “Please don’t hang up, please… Head hurts. Eyes hurt.”

“Call someone to pick you up, then.”

“Heart hurts… no help for that.”

A bud of panic settles in but before you can ask for elaboration, you hear one last groan and the phone line goes dead. He probably hung up without knowing he had pressed the end call button.

“Someone will help him,” you mutter, putting your phone away and pushing down the creeping buds of sympathy to go find Taeyong. “I can’t run over to pick him up when I’m in no condition to even walk properly.”

—

The calls from Taeyong become a regular occurrence that you keep hidden from Sicheng and Jaehyun, knowing full well they’d threaten him with force if they knew he was still contacting you after six plus weeks of not even stopping by to visit you at the hospital. Each time you’d press the button to shut off the ringtone the moment your screen lit up with the notification, only to have it ring again immediately with an incoming call from none other than yours truly. It got to the point where you figured you had to tell him in person that you were done being the subject of his pestering when he had never cared about you in the first place, and that is the first thing on your agenda once you receive an official discharge from the hospital.

“You couldn’t have told me or Jaehyun about it earlier?”

You ignore the eyerolls from Sicheng. “The two of you would’ve gone up to Taeyong and given him hell when he had nothing to do with my injury.

“Sicheng, you know where he is, don’t you?”

The answer is muttered grudgingly, but nonetheless given after a moment’s pause.

“… If you want to see him, you can probably find him wasted away at Club Cherry.”

“It’s barely 10am,” you point out. “What’s he doing already drunk at ten in the morning?”

“Don’t know and personally don’t care. I’m calling Jaehyun so he can go with you in case Taeyong tries anything funny.”

Jaehyun shows up in ten minutes, pulling up the hospital entrance in his familiar white Ferrari and beaming when he sees you standing on your feet again after being bedridden for the past six weeks.

“You look amazing.”

You smile and he helps you into the passenger side while waving goodbye to Sicheng, who grunts and waves him off before pulling out his phone to call for a cab to pick him up and take him home.

“Have you been keeping in touch with Taeyong?” you ask Jaehyun first-thing.

“Not too much,” he answers. “Why?”

“I want you to take me to Club Cherry. He… I want to see him.”

“See him… Y/N, he’s not worth it.”

You cross your arms. “Either you take me there or I’ll call Johnny to take me there.”

“I’ll take you,” Jaehyun sighs heavily, shifting gear to set the vehicle into drive. “Maybe it’s good that you’re dealing with this now instead of dragging it out.”

You have half a mind to ask for clarification but keep quiet during the ride from the hospital to the nightclub that is a favorite socializing spot of their gang, letting Jaehyun take the lead as he hands his keys to the valet and greets the bouncer at the front entrance. Let in without speaking more than the two words that granted entry into the exclusive club, he holds the door open while you hobble in. As expected of the early hour, the club is empty save the two staff members wiping down tables and sweeping the floor respectively.  

“Oh hey, Jaehyun!”

You follow Jaehyun towards the bartender, a youthful face sparked with relief and concern mixed in one as the two exchange handshakes.

“Who’s this?” he asks, warmly extending a hand over the counter.

“Mark, Y/N,” Jaehyun introduces. “Y/N, Mark. He works the bar here at Cherry but don’t be fooled. He actually owns the place.”  

Mark shakes his head and laughs it off.

“No, no, my dad owns the club. I just work here part-time while attending university to earn some extra money.”

“Basically yours in a matter of time,” you speak up. “Yes?”

“I guess you can say that.”

Jaehyun gets straight to the point once the conversation drifts into more comfortable waters.

“Did Taeyong come in today?”

“Sure did,” Mark replies, pointing at the hall where the private rooms were. “Came here at nine sharp and hauled in an entire crate of champagne bottles behind him.”

A disapproving sigh leaves Jaehyun’s mouth and you give Mark a tiny nod of thanks before following Jaehyun towards the private rooms, entering the first one of the left and covering a hand over your mouth at the sight of empty champagne bottles littering the floor. The wooden crate they came in still holding three more bottles of the like, you hurriedly take the remaining bottles to turn in to Mark at the bar while Jaehyun approaches the slumped figure on the purple couch.

“God, he looks like shit.”

You place the three champagne bottles out of reach and take in the slumped figure hugging a bottle in his arms, pity rolling off your shoulder in waves as you extend a hesitant arm to take away the untouched champagne.

“I’ll do it,” Jaehyun mumbles, gesturing for you to step back. “Taeyong is a handful when he’s wasted like this.”

At hearing his name, said drunkard somehow lifts his head up and squints before emitting loud giggles at seeing your face.

“You finally came to see me!”

“I didn’t want to,” you mutter. “But it’s hard not to when you look like this.”

“WhatdoyoumeanI’mfine.” Taeyong brushes off Jaehyun’s arm and stands up rather crookedly, pouting when you duck behind Jaehyun.

“Why, why, why no hug?”

“Can I talk to him alone?” you ask Jaehyun.

“I don’t know,” the latter begins, eyes flickering with uncertainty. “I wouldn’t trust him to not—”

“Please,” you insist. “It won’t take long.”

Jaehyun gives in, making you promise to call him if you needed reinforcements. You laugh, hooking pinkies with him as a promise before turning back to a giggly and flushed Taeyong.

“Let’s get you somewhat sobered up first.”

“No, let’s talk!” He makes a grab for your arm and manages to pull you down to the couch. “Sit here, sit!”

Sensing you wouldn’t be having much say in getting him to do what you wanted, you give in to his request but leave an arm��s reach of distance in between, brushing it off when he closes in the gap in a matter of seconds.

“What do you want to talk about, Taeyong?”

His lips pout and a whine follows.

“I’m sad.”

“Why are you sad?”

“Because…” Furrowed eyebrows and a sniffle pave way for divulgence of detail kept under wraps since you’d last seen him six plus week ago.

“Because I hurt you.”

You refute his claim. “Let’s get someone to bring you home, I—”

“Miyeon’s dating someone else.”

The outburst catching you by surprise, you simply stare and Taeyong continues, voice dropping to a hollowness you didn’t think you’d ever hear coming from his mouth.

“She was just… keeping me hopeful in case he wanted to break up with her.”

You bite back the retort of how great it was to have a taste of his own medicine and nod to show you were listening.

“Mhm.”

“I was so mad, Y/N. I went to her company to clear things up since she stopped answering my calls and I found her making out with some rising actor who’s currently recording a historical drama. So mad.”

“… That…”

“You know what’s more stupid?” A bubble of laughter and he sits back on the couch, arm slung over his eyes. “After that, I realized what she was doing to me was basically me doing the same to you, and… and wow.  

“You must hate me for being such an asshole,” he laughs, voice trembling as tears trickle down his reddened face. “A loser. I’m just a spoiled brat who… who can’t even treat people right and—”

“Stop.” You lean forward from your seat and wrap your arms around him. “You’re not a loser.”

He continues crying into your shoulder and you remain still, letting him get all his feelings out rather than continue drinking himself into oblivion.

“Don’t go,” he mumbles when you move your numb arms. “I’m so lonely here.”

“I actually came here to tell you to stop calling me,” you begin. “I…

“I came to visit you, did you know?”

You pause. “When?”

Taeyong hiccups and counts off on his fingers.

“One, two… five times. I never went when Sicheng or Jaehyun were there but I did go to see you at the hospital.”

“That…. That’s nice of you, but I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do… Do what?”

“I can’t do this anymore, Taeyong. I can’t keep holding on to this… whatever this is. I know you don’t like me and while I was hurt that you used me as leverage, now I know that I deserve better. I deserve to love and be loved by someone who cares about me, loves me, treats me as someone who is worth it and…

“That someone isn’t you. I thought it would be you but it was all just one-sided thinking from my part.”

“I know I treated you poorly before,” Taeyong rasps. “But don’t you think—”

“I think it’s time for me to move on,” you finish, letting go of him and standing up from your seat. “And I wish the same for you.”

“You won’t even give me a second chance?” His question echoes from the shell of a man broken, a man who had once offered his heart in its entirety only to have it returned in shattered pieces. “I… I wasn’t thinking properly, I…”

“You’re not sober.” Taking out your phone from your purse, you tap at the screen to send a text message. “I’ll contact your sister so she can come pick you up and bring you home.”

—

Work picks up once you re-enter the whirlwind that is the modeling industry, no doubt Sicheng and even your mother having played a significant part in getting you back in the favor of photographers and fashion designers to book you for photos and model new fashion lines for the upcoming season. No word of your fatal fall off the catwalk is mentioned by your colleagues, and even your manager takes care to keep your schedule less busy in case another incident occurs while you were on call for another job. It wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate more free time, but you wish you weren’t treated like a glass sculpture that could easily break with just one touch.

As you remain still while your makeup artist applies more eyeshadow on the lids, a sharp searing sensation pulses through your right leg and you wince, immediately garnering the attention of your manager and at least three other staff members who rush over to see if you were okay.

“I’m fine,” you say with a wave, “I can stand.”

“We can call it a day and resume tomorrow,” your manager tells you. “It’s not a problem.”

“I can stand,” you repeat with a slight roll of your eyes. “It was just a cramp.”

She backs off from pressing on about having you sit down and your makeup artist pulls up a chair for you to sit on, a gesture that only stoked the flames more as you refuse to sit while eyeliner works its magic to shaping your eyes into the sultry cat’s eye look today’s shoot called for.

“The dress is perfect.”

You turn around, smiling at the compliment. Ten whistles appreciatively at the black sleeveless velveteen dress that hugged close to your body, the coral pink flowers dotting the soft black fabric an unexpected splash of vibrancy that comes only second to the choker keyhole at your bosom.

“You like?”

“Sweetie, you look gorgeous. And that’s gorgeous with a capital G.”

“Why, thank you.”

You frown at seeing him still in casual clothes. “You’re not changed yet.”

“Ah, there was a change of my schedule, so I won’t be doing the photoshoot with you.” 

A buzz and he reaches into the pockets of his trousers, beaming as he turns to you with a smile.

“My replacement just got here, so—”

“Jaehyun?” you ask out of curiosity. “He has a nice face for modeling.”

“He’s okay, but you’ll know why I decided to choose who I chose to replace me for this one.” Without saying anything more, he ushers you to head out towards the hotel room for your pictures, waving quickly before turning tail to do whatever it was that demanded his time instead of taking photos with you.

Two knocks on the door and you’re greeted by a face you hadn’t been expecting to see at all, a face that offers a soft smile and brings back the slightest of tugs in your heart as he moves aside to let you in.

“Hello, Taeyong.”

He nods in greeting and scans over your dress, line of sight stopping at your shoes.

“You’re wearing the shoes I got you.”

You bite your lip and nod slowly.

“It doesn't mean anything. I just wore them because I wasn’t told I had to wear a specific type for today and…

“They’re comfortable,” you finish with a whisper. “A lot better than boring black heels.”

“I know,” he murmurs in reply. “You told me so when I picked them out at the store for you.”

“Places, everybody!”

Taeyong gestures towards the ensemble of staff setting up the cameras and offers a hand. “May I?”

Unsure if it was a pity gesture after your fall, you stare at the outstretched hand and find yourself taking it, letting him guide you towards the photographers even though you were capable of walking there on your own.

—

Taeyong is more skilled than you give credit for, naturally photogenic in each shot taken of him on the leather couch in the hotel room. Something as mundane as the everyday couch becomes an instrument in his filling in for Ten, giving the professional model a run for his money with the string of praise trickling from the photographer’s encouraging lips. New poses are suggested and lighting adjusted to better fit the mood for his batch of photos, you find yourself staring longer than you liked and nearly miss the cue to enter had Taeyong not gotten up from the couch, waving his hand in your face to check if you were okay.

“I’m fine,” you dismiss, not looking him in the eyes. “Let’s get on with it.”

You follow the cue to move towards the bed and unconsciously flinch when Taeyong sits down on the other side. Toppling to the side, you nearly fall off until an arm reaches out and hooks around your waist.

“I got you.”

Mumbling thanks, you inch away but the photographer calls for you to move back towards Taeyong. A tiny sigh escapes your parted mouth as you place your head against his shoulder, one frame captured. Intimacy welcomed, you do your best to keep it professional as Taeyong slings an arm over your left shoulder. His head tips toward you and you close your eyes in return. Not having to look at his face made things a little bit easier, your choice in turning your face to the side and averting eye contact to your hands or any other part of the body a smart one during the entire shoot.

Individual shots follow the paired ones and you watch as he changes out of the black top and red pants to a velveteen blue blazer and similarly dark-colored shorts, looking dapper despite—if your eyes weren’t deceiving you—the lack of a shirt underneath the buttoned garment. His gaze distant as he sits against the top of the cabinet, you slip behind to the computers and find the assistant scrolling through Taeyong’s other individual shots. The screen displaying a plethora of samples, a whispered request to the fumbling assistant who is just as amazed at speaking with a model grants you control of the mouse in a matter of seconds. While she mumbles about how Taeyong’s face is perfect for this shoot, you focus on studying the pictures and see clearly why Taeyong had been chosen as a substitute for Ten. His face is sculpted in such a way that it radiated beauty from practically all angles, and the gaze is the cherry on top that seals the deal. Darkened are his eyes, but they channel such a sultry yet melancholic undertone to portray an enhanced depth to the edginess on the surface. Editing effects such as blurs only enhance the beauty emitting from the man and you almost want to ask if the assistant can send you a few of the files after the photoshoot is over.

“Y/N, can you come in, please?”

You nod and the photographer directs you to stand behind Taeyong, close enough that you are pressed against his back while placing your chin onto his shoulder.

“You look as stiff as a cardboard. Place your left hand on his thigh if it helps to make you relax.”

“Go ahead,” Taeyong murmurs, tilting his neck. “I don’t mind.”

You hesitantly place your fingers on his thigh and the touch is electrifying. You immediately shrink away but find your hand held in place by another. Taeyong doesn’t say anything as he holds your hand, and you take a deep breath before pulling yourself together, regaining the initial requested posture and powering through the remainder of the shoot.

“And that’s a wrap, thank you. Anything else we will pick up starting tomorrow morning.”

“Have some time for a drink?” Taeyong asks you after the cameras are packed away.

“N-Not really, I—”

The look of dejection on his face changes your mind and you look away at his beaming grin, a light that tugs at your heartstrings as he eagerly pulls you after him. Out of the room and towards the elevators, then up three floors until the lift stops at number 8. Opening to the makings of a dimly-lit but welcoming bar, Taeyong picks a seat towards the left side of the counter.

“Here.”

He gestures for you to sit next to him as two dry martinis are placed before him.

“Cheers?”

Fingers gripping the martini glass, a quiet “Cheers” and you down the drink in nearly one go, wincing at the burning sensation at the back of your throat.

“Is there somewhere you need to go?”

“Well…” You ask the bartender for water. “I didn’t…. I didn’t actually want to get a drink with you.”

“Why not?”

The glass of water you requested clinks next to your emptied martini, and you opt to take a large sip of the liquid, not answering his question.

“I guess I don’t deserve anything more when I was the one who treated you like a toy.” A bitter chuckle and he calls for two more dry martinis.

“You can go. I’ve put the drinks under my tab.”

“… No, I’ll stay. I won’t need any more drinks, but I can stay and keep you company, if you’d like.”

True to your word, you stay with him for the remainder of the night at the bar without any more drops of alcohol in your system. You listen to him talk and hold rather engaging conversations regarding just about anything: the weather, the modeling industry, his sister’s business endeavors, favorite drinks…

“You’re so easy to talk to,” Taeyong mumbles as his head knocks onto your shoulder. “Great, just great.”

“So I’ve been told,” you laugh, beckoning for the bartender to take your credit card to pay for half a bottle of scotch’s worth of shots. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“Don’t want to.”

“Then where am I supposed to take you?”

“He has a room here,” the bartender speaks up. “He drank himself to oblivion the other night and I had someone bring him up to the 4th floor. First door on the right-hand side.”

You thank the bartender for the helpful tip and somehow manage to get Taeyong up. Making your way towards the elevator, you keep one arm steadily wrapped around his waist so he didn’t fall, trudging to the elevator and descending from the 8th floor to four levels below.

“Where’s your room key, Taeyong?”

He mumbles an inaudible answer and you sigh before reaching a hand into his blazer, fingers interlacing around a rectangular card that you swipe at the door handle before placing it between your teeth. After helping him inside, you spit out the key, making sure he can sit upright on his own before informing your manager that you were with Taeyong. The request to extend the news to Taeyong’s sister is added less she worry about her brother’s whereabouts and safety at one in the morning.

“I should probably change out of this dress.”

Remembering the bartender had said that Taeyong visited the bar last night, you figure he’d have spare clothes in the closet and open the wardrobe. Taking your pick from the hangers of gray, blue, and the occasional white, you settle on a simple white button-up with a hemline that just barely reaches past your fingertips. The black dress is all but discarded after you toss the garment onto the single chair by the window.

“You’re wearing my shirt.”

You turn around, pulling down the shirt to not flash anything inappropriate in his drunken state.

Taeyong sits at the corner of the bed, hands clasped together as he looks up at you.

“It’s cute,” he adds with a soft chuckle. “I like it.”

“You should take a shower,” you mumble, slinking behind the chair and taking refuge in the curtains. “You smell like booze.”

“Will you still be here after I shower?”

He takes your silence as a yes and gets up from the bed.

“Sit wherever you’d like. It’s cold by the window.”

You wait until he enters the bathroom to make a dash for the bed, pulling up the covers to cover up your bare legs as you make yourself comfortable. After standing for almost the whole day, it felt good to sit and rest your legs on a soft mattress, the sheer size of the room informing you that this floor can only be a luxury suite and higher since most of the doors you had passed in getting here were quite spaced apart.

“You can sleep there tonight.”

You break out of your thoughts and stare at the dripping wet hair and white bathrobe on the man who had booked this suite, not registering his words until he repeats it a second time.

“If I sleep here, then where will you sleep?”

“There’s a chair.” He pulls up another chair by the mahogany desk next to the television and moves it to your right side, sitting down cross-legged.

“You don’t need to do that for me.”

Moving the covers aside, you bend your legs and wince at the cramping sensation in your calves, a gesture that has Taeyong up on his feet in seconds.

“Are you okay, where does it hurt?”

“I’m fine,” you grumble. “It’s not like you were at fault for my fall off the catwalk.”

“Believe me, I would’ve done everything I could to prevent it from happening.”  

Displeasure sinks its claws into your calves and you force yourself up, only be pushed back down by Taeyong.

“Sleep,” he orders. “You must be tired after a long day.”

“I… Why do you even care when I’ve always been a nobody to you?”

“You’re not a nobody to me.”

The depth of the sentence leaves a lasting echo in the room and you stare at him wide-eyed.

“You’re not a nobody to me,” he repeats. “I admit that I shouldn’t have used you to get back at Miyeon, but I never thought you were a nobody to me.”

“You… You never told me.”

“I…” A scoff and he sits onto the chair next to you, head tilted back. “How was I supposed to say I didn’t think you were a nobody to me without sounding like a creep?”

“I loved you,” you say quietly. “Did you know that, at least?”

“…Yes.” He fidgets with his fingers; you can practically see him picking through word by word in his brain for a suitable reply. “But I didn’t act on it because I wasn’t sure if you liked me for me or for my money. So many people have approached me simply because of my background and nothing was ever genuine.

“You can imagine what that does to someone, can’t you? As bad as it sounds, it was just easier to give the cold shoulder and keep at a distance rather than go through the cycle of false hopes at meeting people who didn’t care about my money or my social status. I hardened my heart so I wouldn’t ever be fed lies and fake compliments again, but that ended up hurting you when you always valued me for me and not the things that I had to my name.”

Hypotheticals race through your head, scenarios of what could have been a loving relationship with Taeyong that only create more prickling holes in your heart. As if you hadn’t finished hurting from all the years of unrequited love, now you were faced with another reality, the reality of a relationship that never came to fruition due to failure at communicating your feelings in a way that didn’t evoke misunderstanding in either party.

There was no one to attribute fault to and call blame on; the timing just never came at an appropriate time. And as others had told you before, it would’ve hurt less to have known nothing would ever happen the moment you had felt something more for a man like Taeyong.

Untouchable, out-of-your-league, perhaps you had only been in love with the idea of loving Taeyong, an intangible conception of emotions that had brought you in an endless loop around the park until today. Today marking the day you finally found the exit out of the seemingly endless maze, a day holding so much more meaning than intended as you take a deep breath and prepare to say your final goodbye to a love that had kept you in its chains for so many years.

“Hey, Taeyong?”

“Hmm?”

You reach your arms up and pull him close, pressing your lips against his cheek one last time—a kiss just as soft as the first but harboring hints of a melancholic farewell rather than hope for a chance to start fresh from square one.  

[akinnie75]

Replacement

Pairing: Jin x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Slow Burn, Fantasy

Word Count: 24.5k

Summary: You’re an ordinary girl who’s a huge fan of the famous celebrity, Jin. After getting into a fight with a woman, you wake up the next morning in the hospital, and right next to you is Jin. You discover that you’ve switched bodies with the woman you fought with, and she happens to be Jin’s girlfriend.

You’ve been giddy the whole time you’ve been in class, which is starting to annoy your friend. Your friend thinks that you look like an idiot for smiling without any reason, making yourself look like a psychotic woman. It’s as if you’re not paying attention to tonight’s lecture and instead off somewhere else.

Your friend nudges you on the side, poking right in the rib. You jump and a bit irritated at your friend for doing that without warning.

“What??” You whisper aggressively.

“Stop jumping up and down! You’re not a kid!” Your friend whispers back.

You know that you’re not, but you can’t help but be excited. Your friend wouldn’t understand. You acknowledge that you should stop, but you still can’t wipe that goofy smile off of your face.

“Sorry.” You chuckle to yourself.

After your late night class has ended, you and your friend exit out of the lecture hall along with the other students.

Your friend yawns. “God, if this class wasn’t an upper division, then I would skip it all the time. I mean, who has time to even go to class this late?”

“You wouldn’t be doing anything anyways. You’d just be playing video games or watch your dramas.” You raise an eyebrow.

Feeling as though you’re looking down on her for using her free time for that, your friend starts sulking. “At least I don’t waste my time watching the same video of Jin!”

You blush slightly, telling her to hush, worried that other people might overhear you two. “Shh! Don’t say that so loudly. What if other people hear?”

“Excuse me? I’m not the one who makes it obvious that I’m in love with Jin. Let’s say for example...today during lecture. You were getting all excited for a dumb reason.”

“It’s not dumb! Anyone in my position would be happy!”

The reason for your ecstatic behavior is because after years of being a fan of BTS, specifically for Jin, you bought a ticket to see their concert. They’re currently holding a tour, and they’ll be coming to your town, so you took this opportunity to buy a ticket.

You were worried that you weren’t going to be able to buy a ticket. BTS has been the current trend, and you jumped into the fandom rather late, so there was a high chance that you weren’t going to be able to purchase one. Unfortunately, you were right, and you weren’t able to buy one day of. But as the date draws nearer, you were able to buy one ticket for yourself from a fan who’s re-selling it online.

In a month, you’ll see your favorite band of all time, and you’re going to see Jin in real life. Unfortunately, your friend is going to be busy that day, so you’ll be going alone. Still, that’s better than not going. If anything, you can always make new friends at the performance.

“Anyways, I’m hungry. Wanna go to that Chinese place? I heard that they go a special deal when you order their chicken chow mein on Tuesdays.”

“Oh, okay! Let’s go!”

------

You and your friend finished eating three large plates worth of food, and you two are stuffed. You pat your belly, wishing you can be ill-mannered just for a moment to unbutton the top button of your jeans to free your round stomach. Your friend is just as full, using a toothpick to take out the food between her teeth.

The waitress sets the check down, along with two fortune cookies. You both thank her for the check, and she wishes you two to have a good night. You two split the bill half, paying your portion of meals, and she pays her own. After handing your friend the money, you crack open the fortune cookie but head straight to the slim piece of paper to read your fortune.

You read aloud, “‘Your life is about to take a huge turn in the near future.’ Hmm, that’s interesting.”

“Makes sense, you are going to a BTS concert pretty soon. Who knows, maybe seeing them perform live will change you or something.”

“But I wonder what is considered as ‘near’. Like, isn’t it defined differently for different people? I feel like a month is too long to be considered near.”

“Don’t fret too much about it. It’s just a piece of paper made from a factory.” Your friend cracks open her fortune cookie and eats the broken pieces of it.

You shrug your shoulders, keeping the paper in your pocket while you shove one half of the cookie in your mouth. Your friend is right, fortune cookies are just pieces of paper that are very vague so that anyone can relate to it. If anything, it’s not even real.

------

“Bye! See you tomorrow!” You wave goodbye to your friend as you two walk opposite directions.

“Make sure you’re safe before you get home! See you tomorrow.” Your friend gives you a farewell.

You turn around, walking back to your house and call it a night. Though you will be walking back to your apartment alone, you aren’t paranoid because there are there cars driving through the streets.

Today has been a long day of anticipation of whether or not you’ll get the ticket, then spending the rest of your afternoon and evening in class. It sure was hectic, but it was still another fun day nonetheless.

But you know that the highlight of your day was buying the ticket. The physical copy won’t come in until a couple days later, but you’re still excited nonetheless. You can’t help but laugh to yourself, covering your mouth so that no one thinks you’re strange for giggling to yourself. You’re going to see Jin in real life, so of course, you’d be happy.

Because you were lost in your wonderland, you accidentally bump shoulders with a woman. “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

The first thing that catches your attention is the strong stench of alcohol coming from her body. One glance at her, and you can already tell that she’s a beautiful woman. Her body is idealistically thin for the Hollywood look, and her long, blond hair excretes her beauty even more. However, the woman looks as if she’s staggering, unable to keep her own balance in her black heels. Seeing how drunk she looks, you almost feel as if you should help her return home.

“You fucking bitch…” the woman calls you, words slurring.

“Uhm, excuse me?”

The woman grabs you by the collar of your shirt, pulling you close to her as if picking a fight with you. “Do you know who I am?!”

“Please stop! I didn’t mean to run into you!” You exclaim.

But the woman doesn’t hear you. “I deserve some respect, goddammit! Don’t think that just because you said sorry means anything. I can sue you and squeeze out every single penny that you have.”

Her breath is unbearable, surrounding your bubble with nothing but the smell of the drinks she had tonight. Not wanting to get into an argument with her, you try to pull her hands off of you.

“I’ll call the police if you don’t let me go!”

She pulls you close to her. “Call them. When they know who I am, then they’ll side with me in no time.”

You’re able to fight her hands off of you, but she grips onto a lock of your hair, pulling you down. Since she isn’t backing down whatsoever, you’re now fighting back. You scratch her on the arm, pulling the strap of her golden dress down as any source of getting her off of you. But nothing works, as she’s glued onto you, pulling your hair and scratching your face.

Even though there are many cars driving by, no one stops to intervene. No one is on the sidewalk but you and the woman. You keep trying to pull yourself back to get away from the woman, but she refuses to get off of you. No matter how hard to try to fight her off, she won’t let go.

Because you’ve been so focused on her, you forgot about your surroundings. While walking backward, your right thigh accidentally hits a bike rack that’s right by the end of the sidewalk, next to the street. You trip, falling backward right into the street, along with the woman. With both of you on the street, you’re now exposed to the possibility of getting hit by a potential car. You try to get the woman off to save yourself from the oncoming cars.

But it’s too late, and a car hits you two.

------

The constant sound of a beeping wakes you up. It’s rhythmic but slow. You open your eyes slowly, and the first thing you see is a stark white ceiling, not your popcorn-filled ceiling. The pillow you’re laying on feels fluffier than your usual pillow. Everything looks too bright, like seeing sunlight after having your windows closed for a long period.

You turn to your side, and there you see a heart monitor, and behind it is an IV drip. You trace the skinny tube, and you see that it’s attached to the crook of your elbow. You have no idea where you are and why you’re here.

You sit up, your vision turning black and your head becoming light-headed from getting up too quickly. Your body feels so weak as if all you feel inside of you is just skin and bones. You try to get off the bed, but suddenly the bed sets an alarm, which frightens you.

There are plastic borders on the side of the beds, and each side has a button, some to adjust the bed, and a few others are unfamiliar to you.

“Ma’am, please stay in your bed.” a voice says through the overhead speaker on the heart monitor.

It startles you, but then you calm down when you find where it’s coming from. After putting everything together, you realize that you’re in the hospital. You try to remember what happened before you were admitted here, and you do remember confronting a woman late at night. You remember bumping into her and her trying to fight you, but afterward, your mind is blank.

A woman in a nurse uniform enters the room, and she immediately greets you with a smile. “Good morning Miss Ellington, you’ve been sleeping for quite some time. How are you feeling?”

Did the woman just refer to you as ‘Miss Ellington’? At first, you think that she might be talking to someone else in the room or from outside, but there’s no one else.

“Let me check your blood pressure and get you a new IV.”

“Where am I…?”

Why does your own voice sound so unfamiliar to you too? It sounds higher-pitch than normal. You rub your throat, wondering if the incident altered your voice in any sort of way.

The woman applies the heart pressure pump on your upper arm. “You’re in the hospital. You got in front of an ongoing car, but thankfully you’re still alive. It would’ve been a waste to lose a model like you.”

‘A model’? What is she saying? “Excuse me, what?”

The nurse stares at you as if you should already know who you are, but you still have no idea what she’s talking about. Right after she checks your blood pressure, she takes off the pump and changes the IV pack. She tells you to have a good day and that the doctor will come to check on you.

Just right after the nurse leaves, a woman storms into the room with a worried expression. She’s a woman you’ve never seen before, wearing a navy blue suit, haircut right above her neck. She looks of Asian descent, and she looks a little oversized.

The woman marches to you, hugging you without warning. “Oh my god, Elaine. I’m so glad you’re okay…”

You’re so confused. You were called ‘Ellington’, then ‘Elaine’, so you have no clue what is going on. As much as you don’t want to ruin this sentiment moment between you and this woman, you push her away gently.

“Excuse me...who are you?”

She looks just as confused as you are. “Don’t you remember? It’s me, Rae, your manager.”

“Wh-what? No, no, I don’t have a manager. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Can I talk to my parents?”

The woman who calls herself Rae has a look of horror as if something just went through her mind. “Oh god...don’t tell me…”

You look at your hands, and they’re slimmer than they usually are. Your nails are painted dark red, but also chipped, most likely due to the accident. The skin color is also not the same as your original. Feeling panicked, you have to confirm something.

You get up from the bed, and when you apply pressure on your feet, you nearly fell. It felt like it’s been a while since you walked, but you still have enough strength to take a few steps. You can hear your heart rate increase on the monitor as you drag the IV with you to the bathroom. Rae follows after you, worried that you might fall.

You stand in front of the mirror that hangs in the bathroom. But you feel like the world stopped moving when you laid eyes on your reflection. Who you see is not you...but the woman you ran into that night.

You touch your face, horrified that it’s not you in the mirror. You lean closer to make sure that it isn’t a fake, but it’s as real as any other mirror. You look down to see these unfamiliar hands shaking, and sweat starting to form from anxiety.

This has to be a dream, waking up as a different person. This can’t be real, but you felt the tight squeeze when the blood pressure pumper, and you can feel the needle inside your crook. You pull on the hair on your scalp, and you begin to scream from the top of your lungs.

Rae holds you by your shoulders. “Elaine, calm down!”

“My name isn’t Elaine! Don’t call me that!” You’re not in the right mind to think straight. “It’s not Elaine...It’s (Y/N).”

You push her off of you, no longer letting a stranger touch you so comfortably like this. You limp out of the bathroom, desperately wanting to get out. This isn’t real. This is only a dream. You have to hurry up and wake up. You still have school, your part-time job, your friends, your family. Everything.

Right when you walk out the door, you bump into someone, your face hitting their chest. You take a step back, and the person you bumped into holds onto your upper arms. You make eye contact with the person, and you’re taken aback, absolutely shocked to see who it is.

Who you see in front of you is none other than Jin—the one that you’ve admired and loved for so long. “Elaine? Are you alright? I heard you screaming.” He says with that same exact voice that you know and love, but this time, more real.

“J-Jin…? I...what…?” You can’t comprehend this whole situation.

Too many things are going on all at once. You wake up in a hospital in a different body, and the person in front of you is none other than Jin. You feel this sharp pain run across your brain. You’re head starts spinning, and it’s getting light-headed again. And the next thing you know, your vision turns black.

------

You’re finally conscious again, but your eyes are still closed. You can hear the sound of people talking all around you, probably two or three voices going on at once.

“We’ve checked her brainwaves, and she doesn’t have signs of amnesia.”

“So then how do you explain her memory loss??”

“Well...there is another possible solution to explain her case. You did mention before that Miss Ellington is suffering from borderline Dissociative Identity Disorder, yes?”

“Yes, what does it have to do with this?”

“Possibly due to the shock of the accident, the impact of the car might’ve hit her brain enough to give her high-inducing stress. Usually, when people with this disorder experience traumatic incidents, it increases their stress level, and they become disassociative with their personality. So they become a completely new person as a coping mechanism to deal with this trauma.”

“What are you saying?”

“Usually people create new personalities that closely relate to the trauma...and she did mention the name of the young woman she ran into that night.”

“So are you saying...that she thinks she’s the other woman from the accident??”

“...I can’t confirm it, but yes, it is a possibility. There is no other way to explain her condition right now.”

Rae combs her fingers through her hair, sighing frustratedly. “So then what can we do to fix this?! You do understand that her job is her livelihood, right?!”

“Yes Ma’am, I understand, but this isn’t an illness that can be solved with medication. Dissociative identity disorder is still a controversial topic. Not many professionals know much about it either.”

“Well we have to do something or else-” Rae is interrupted when you sit up, listening to their conversation. “Elaine…! I’m sorry if we woke you up.”

You don’t respond since you’re still feeling a bit groggy after just waiting up. You look at your hands again, and it’s still not your hands. When you look at the hair on your head, it’s a hair color foreign to you.

“Doctor, can I please talk to Elaine alone?”

“Yes.”

The doctor leaves the room, and it’s only you and Rae in the room. It seems like everyone is convinced that you’re some other person, and not yourself. Everything feels surreal; one moment you’re just saying goodbye to your friend, and the next thing you know, you wake up as a stranger.

“Elaine...do you remember anything at all?”

You don’t respond. You want to tell her that you’re not this ‘Elaine’ person, but you know that she won’t believe you.

Assuming that you don’t know anything about yourself, Rae sighs but puts on her work smile. “Do you not remember anything? Your name? Occupation? Your life?”

Instead of putting up a fight, you decide that this is the perfect opportunity for you to learn about Elaine. “I don’t...remember anything.”

Just as she thought. “Your name is Elaine Ellington, age twenty-six, and currently working for Square Entertainment as an amateur model. You’re half-Korean and half-British, and you lived in Australia for most of your childhood. You moved to Korea to start your career as a model. Though...you haven’t been doing that much work as of late due to...reasons.”

It makes sense why this body is so skinny and why she has a manager. There are still bandages all over this body, but this is still clearly the body of a model. But one thing that you don’t understand is why Jin was here. Was that an illusion for being light-headed?

“And that person who I ran into earlier…”

“Oh, that’s Jin, your boyfriend.”

You choke on your own spit, making you cough. Rae moves back while you cough repeatedly. Did you hear her right? She just said that Jin is your boyfriend. Jin—the one celebrity you’ve had a crush on for years. This all can’t be real. At any moment, you should be waking up for real now, returning to your old life.

“Do you want me to get him? He’s waiting in the hall right now.” Rae points her thumb over her shoulder to the door.

He’s actually just outside?! “Wait, wait, wait!”

But Rae doesn’t listen to you and walks out the door to call Jin in. She hopes that by having him talk to you, Elaine would return back to normal. But you’re not mentally prepared to meet Jin. The first time you saw him, you actually fainted, so how can you bring yourself to face him again?

Rae calls out to Jin, and you start to panic. You can hear the footsteps creeping in, and a part of you doesn’t want you to believe that Jin is coming. But there will never be enough time for you to prepare yourself to meet Jin.

Jin enters the room, and he’s just as handsome as you pictured him to be in real life. Actually, he’s more handsome than you’d ever expected. Earlier when you saw him, you didn’t get a good glimpse of his face, but you knew enough that it is him. Your heart skips a beat, seeing how dreamlike he looks in real life. You can’t get your eyes off of him.

Rae leaves the room, closing the door behind her so that you and Jin can talk privately. You and Jin stare at each other for a long time, but then you realize that you’ve been staring for too long. You look away, your cheeks as red as roses. You can’t help but think that you’re in a fairytale, but this is all too real.

To break the awkward tension, Jin slightly nods his head to greet you. “Hello.”

You can’t even bring yourself to open your mouth to greet him back. You’re feeling too nervous to say anything, but how can you when someone you’ve liked for a long time is in front of you?

Jin takes a seat next to the bed, making your heart thump even louder. Kim Seokjin is sitting close to you. You feel like your heart is going to burst at any moment. How can you bring yourself to look at him when he’s this close to you?

“Elaine? Does your head still hurt?”

When you hear him call that stranger’s name, not yours, it breaks you from your trance. You forgot for a moment that you’re not you.

What should you do? Should you tell Jin that you’re not Elaine? Would he even believe you? All of these thoughts keep circling your head.

“I’m alright.” In the end, that’s all you managed to say.

Rae did mention that Elaine and Jin are dating, but you don’t recall any news coverage about Jin dating anyone. You thought that everyone from Jin’s band isn’t dating anyone. So if no one knows about this, then…

“M-Manager Rae told me that we’re dating?” It sounds weird for you to say that you and Jin are dating.

Jin looks stoic, expression unchanging to your question. “We are.”

Your heart clenches, unable to believe that all this time, Jin was secretly dating, and no one in the public knew about it. Even though you never knew Jin personally, you still feel somewhat betrayed.

“I heard everything about your condition from the hallway. My schedule won’t be as busy before the tour, so call me if you ever need anything.” Jin gives you a weak smile. “Hmph, it’s...also strange hearing you call Ms. Rae’s name so formally.”

Jin stands up, surprising you that that’s all their conversation is going to be. For a pair who’s dating, Jin seems somewhat distant from Elaine. He doesn’t talk to you in any sweet tones, nor does he call you any pet names either.

“Wait!” You impulsively grab him by the shirt.

Jin turns around, and once again, you’re enchanted by Jin’s stunning looks. You look down timidly, losing all courage you had previously.

“N-never mind.”

You feel so stupid. You haven’t made a single proper conversation with him yet. At this point, if you’re going to try to talk to him, it’ll take years for you to initiate a decent conversation.

Jin simply smiles and walks out the door. You wish you told him that you’re not Elaine, but you weren’t sure if he’ll believe you. He said that he overheard the doctor and Rae talk about your supposed ‘condition’, so there is no way he’ll believe you. Maybe if you meet him next time, you’ll tell him. After all, he is Elaine’s boyfriend.

------

Due to the condition of Elaine’s body, you’re fortunately spared from having to work. The bandages around the body look bad for modeling, and your face still has a few bruise marks. You’re on paid leave for a month until you go back to work. In the meantime, Rae insists that you stay in the down low, not wanting to stir up any gossip. Rae will come to Elaine’s apartment and give her the necessities including food, drinks, etc.

It’s only been two days since you’ve been discharged from the hospital and stuck in Elaine’s apartment. You’re quick to learn that Elaine is a slob—dishes in the sink, mold growing in the corners of the rooms, and clothes all over the floor. The apartment reeks of alcohol and cigarettes.

There’s nothing but alcohol and vegetables in the fridge, and you’re starving. One of the biggest struggles of being a celebrity is having to watch your weight, and as someone who’s lived their life as a commoner, this is impossible for you. Rae said that she’d bring you food, but it’s nothing but cabbage soup and boiled tofu. You feel like dying because you’ve haven’t eaten meat in a while.

You kill time by cleaning Elaine’s place. You can’t stand how filthy it is, so you open the windows and requested cleaning tools from Rae. Other than that, you go on Elaine’s phone to learn more about her. She has a lot of social media accounts, but they’re all personal accounts, not her official business ones where she promotes her work. She also has a lot of shopping apps as well.

What’s strange about her is that she doesn’t save her text message history, and although she has different numbers calling her, they’re all not saved from her contacts. They’re all just phone numbers. There are only two contacts: Rae and...Jin.

While laying on Elaine’s bed, you stare at Jin’s contact number. You can’t believe that this is Jin’s actual phone number. This isn’t something that any fan would be able to see. You remember that he did tell you that if you ever need help, then just call him. Even though Jin sounded cold towards you before, he was still kind enough to offer you that option. But it also still hurts a little knowing that Jin is secretly dating someone like Elaine.

But out of everything in this mess, you’re glad that at least you got to meet Jin. You still have to get back to your body, but for now, you think it’s better to keep it a secret and figure it out on your own, worried that they’ll send you back to the hospital for sounding insane.

While spacing out, you accidentally press on Jin’s phone number and his number dials. You panic, accidentally dropping the phone on your face. “Ow!”

You sit up, picking up Elaine’s phone. Panic sets in as you try to hang up, but it’s too late. Jin picks up the call. You put the phone to your ear, feeling really nervous.

“Hello? Elaine, did you need something?”

His voice sounds deeper than when you heard it in person, and it’s making your heart pound. But this is not the time for you to squeal over his voice.

“No! I just accidentally dialed your number. I didn’t mean to…” You sound like a mess.

You wonder if Elaine was composed whenever she spoke to him. But for sure, you’re ruining every chance to talk to him, and it’s just embarrassing.

“Well, if you don’t need anything, then I’ll hang up.”

“Wait!!” You shouted impulsively.

You keep telling him to wait whenever you stumble with your words, but you never have anything to say when you tell him to wait. You compose yourself, inhaling a deep breath, then sighing. You tell yourself that you should at least behave like a girlfriend. It’s not every day a typical fan like you can be your favorite celebrity’s girlfriend.

“Uhm...don't strain yourself today at work,” You can feel your cheeks burning up, but this is something you’ve always wanted to tell him. “If you ever need anything, then tell me.”

There’s a long pause between you two.

“Hello?”

“Ah, sorry. It’s funny hearing you say that. Also, aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be telling you that? After all, you’re the one with cuts and bruises all over your body. But thanks...call me if you need something.” Jin hangs up the phone.

And just like that, your conversation with him ended. You call yourself an idiot again because you might’ve sounded dumb to him for him to say that it’s ‘funny’ to hear you talk like that. But still, you can’t help but feel happy to be talking to him.

You run your hand through your hair, sighing. You know it hurts knowing that you’re in Jin’s girlfriend’s body, and he most likely loves his girlfriend, so is it alright for you to be taking advantage of this position? As jealous as you are, you also feel guilty, like you’re also taking advantage of him.

You shake your head. You shouldn’t get too attached to Jin, otherwise, you won’t want to leave. Instead of worrying about what Jin feels about you, you need to think of ways returning back to the way things were before. Elaine’s life isn’t suited for you, and you should respect Jin’s privacy regarding his relationship with her. You think it’s better to support Jin from behind a computer screen.

------

“Please??” You beg.

You’ve been holed up in Elaine’s apartment for a few more days after you accidentally called Jin, and you feel like going insane if you don’t go outside. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol is killing you, and you need some fresh air. Rae came over to drop off some food, so you took this opportunity to ask her if you can go out, but you were met with an immediate rejection.

“I already told you, if anyone recognizes you, then our company can get into trouble for hiding your accident.” Rae tries to reason with you. “Plus, what if a fan or a paparazzi approaches you? You don’t have your memory, so you wouldn’t know what to do.”

“I’ll wear a mask and a hat to cover my face. And didn’t you said that El- I mean, I haven’t had that much work recently anyways, so people might’ve forgotten about me temporarily.”

Rae pauses. “That’s unlike you to say that about your job. You love modeling.”

It irks you seeing how Rae still thinks you’re Elaine, but then again she merely sees you as another part of Elaine just acting out.

“...Just once, I want to go out. After that, I won’t ask to go out anymore.”

You look at her with puppy eyes, and Rae gives in. “Fine, but just for a while, and I have to go with you.”

You don’t mind. You just want to go out and breathe some fresh hair.

“Where do you want to go?”

Even though you whined and begged for Rae to let you out, you have no idea where you want to go. Anything but here is excusable enough. But since this is your first time in the big city, you want to explore the place a bit, but being a celebrity really is a disadvantage.

After thinking for a while, you finally have an idea of where you want to go, but you aren’t sure if Rae is going to let you go.

------

Surprisingly enough, Rae really did drive you all the way to Jin’s agency. You thought she would say no because she seems very paranoid of the public and wouldn’t want to start any scandals, but she was quick to say yes.

Another problem you went through was looking for clothes to wear. You were looking through the possible clothes you can wear, but all of Elaine’s clothes are very revealing. Even with your original body you were never close to wearing something as scandalous as this because you were afraid that your fat would be sticking out.

Although Elaine’s body is a lot slimmer than yours, making you feel a little bit more confident, you still don’t want to wear them. Eventually you found a men-size jacket in the back of her closet, so you decide to wear that over your tank top.

You know that you shouldn’t get close to Jin, but since you’re in Elaine’s body, you thought you might as well be a bit selfish. Besides, Elaine gets to have Jin all to herself afterwards, so why not have some fun for the time being?

With a mask and sunglasses on, you and Rae speed walk to the front of the agency. Because you and Rae have a connection with Jin, you two were able to get through without a security code. You’re excited to see their main building in person, and it’s way bigger than you imagined it to be.

There is not a single dust that exists in this lobby. Everything is spotless, not a speck of dirt in sight. There’s the huge ‘Big Hit’ logo just labeled across the wall. You wish you can venture the entire building by yourself, but Rae is keeping you on a tight leash, so there’s nowhere for you to escape.

Rae asks the receptionist where Jin is, and she directs you to his location. He’s currently recording a song with his members. This is your second meeting with him, and you’re once again feeling nervous. You don’t think that nervous feeling will ever go away as long as it’s Jin.

But just as the receptionist said, you and Rae find Jin just walking out of the recording room, along with Suga and RM. Seeing Suga and RM in person is just as surreal as meeting Jin; their beauty is indescribable in real life, even if they aren’t wearing makeup and it’s just their bare skin. They’re also much taller than you up close as well, or more specifically...RM. Being in Elaine’s body, it made you exactly the same height as Suga, but you know for sure that in your original body, Suga would definitely tower over you.

Upon meeting eyes with Jin, your face brightens, lifting up a smile and waving to him. But Jin, on the other hand, looks rather shocked to see you. Jin keeps staring at your jean jacket that you’re wearing, looking very disturbed by it. Jin barely lets out a smile, nodding his head to acknowledge you. It disheartens you a little bit, but you try not to lose the smile. You also wave to Suga and RM, assuming that Elaine is acquainted with them.

“Elaine, what are you doing here?” Jin asks.

“I-”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you, Jin.” Rae purposely interrupts you.

You look at her, bewildered. No wonder she agreed to taking you here; she needed to talk to Jin anyway.

“Is it alright if I ask for you two gentleman show Elaine the way to the cafeteria?” Rae stares at RM and Suga. “But don’t eat too much, Elaine.”

They both don’t look like they want to be alone with you, but since Rae is older, they have no choice but to respect her demands.

Namjoon gives you a forced side smile, revealing that one dimple that all the fans fawn over. “Alright then, we can show you.”

Suga and Namjoon leads the way to the cafeteria. You stare at them, then back at Jin and Rae, begrudgingly not wanting to leave them. But Rae flicks her wrist in a sweeping motion, signaling for you to follow the two men. Eventually, you end up following them.

Since it’s just Rae and Jin, Rae’s face suddenly becomes serious. “Is there anywhere where I can talk to you privately?”

------

In one of the staff lounge rooms, Jin just finished making a cup of green tea for Rae, who is sitting on one of the couches. Jin sits down from across from her as well, waiting for Rae to take a sip of hers before he drinks his own.

“...I don’t know if I can do that.” Jin says as he sets his teacup on the coffee table that divides him and Rae.

“I know it’s a pain in the ass to deal with, but Elaine seems oddly attached to you—more than before.”

“...How many times do I have to say it? That person...isn’t Elaine. Elaine isn’t that fragile.”

“Yes, but she doesn't even listen to me. At this rate, she won’t return back to her normal self, and she won’t survive the entertainment industry on her own. All I’m asking is for you to not act so distant from her, and maybe she’ll slowly revert back to her old self again. After all, out of everyone, she’s known you the longest.”

Jin looks conflicted, leaning back on the couch as he sighs. “Just because I have a bit more free time than I usually do doesn’t mean I have all the time in the world to be with her.”

“Yes, yes I know, but all I’m asking for is thirty minutes of your time, every couple of days just come by her apartment and...I don’t know...talk about things. Elaine right now legitimately thinks that you two are in a stable relationship, and just play along with it.”

“...Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you so much for doing this for her, Jin.”

“...I’m not doing it for her. I’m only doing it so that once she remembers everything, she’ll finally stop talking to me so casually.”

Remembering back to when Elaine first woke up, Jin heard everything from the hallway. He heard her scream, demanding that she’s someone else. She said a different name, but he can’t remember what she said.

“Ms. Rae.”

“Yes?”

“What was the name Elaine said, back in the hospital?”

“Oh, (Y/N)?”

“Yea. I know the doctor said that her dissociative disorder might be playing out, and she’s pretending to be the girl she got into a fight with, but is it possible to be able to get that much information about that girl during a fight that only lasted for minutes?”

“Honestly, I don’t know, but that’s what the doctor said. It also makes sense why her personality completely changed too.”

While it is explainable, what Jin doesn’t understand is how is Elaine able to pinpoint (Y/N)’s personality when they barely know each other. When Elaine was admitted into the hospital, the doctors said that she was heavily intoxicated, so there’s also that chance that Elaine wouldn’t even remember her. And yet, Elaine right now is able to take ahold of an entirely new personality.

Jin has known Elaine long enough to know that her D.I.D. never took over her this much before. Unfortunately, after Elaine was transferred to the main hospital branch, they lost contact with (Y/N), who also fell into a coma. He has no idea right now how that young lady is doing, or even if she’s still alive. Elaine’s complete 360 is too unrealistic, even for having a disorder like hers, but he can’t explain it either.

------

It felt like ages since you last saw meat. You know that Rae would get upset if she caught you eating meat, but just this one, you’ll break her rules and eat some. You pile your plate with nothing but meat and rice. RM and Suga, who are also getting food, only stare at you in awe.

“...Wow, you’re really picking it up there. Not on your diet anymore?”

“Hm? Oh, I haven’t eating much these days ever since I got out of the hospital, so I’m a bit hungry.”

“Pig.” Suga mutters to himself.

RM elbows Suga in the stomach, mouthing the word ‘hyung’ under his breath as a warning not to insult you. But you heard it as loud as day, and now you feel a bit discouraged to grab more food. Suga is a lot colder and meaner in person than what he seems in their shows. So hearing him call you that hurts.

You three pick out a table to sit at, with RM and Suga sitting next to each other, and you sitting across from them, alone. The three of you are eating altogether, the atmosphere feeling a bit thick. They’re not usually this quiet, or they could be quiet because of you.

“So how has work been lately? I hope you two aren’t overworking yourselves.” You say to break the tension.

“It’s been doing well. How has your recovery been?” Namjoon replies to you, followed by a question.

“I’m not used to it just yet, but I am getting better. Are you guys working on a new song?”

“Yea, we just were. We’re about done with it.”

You become a bit more curious, wanting to hear how their song sounds like before they release it. “Oh, maybe one day I can hear it?”

“We can’t risk the song being leaked, so listen to once it’s officially released.” Suga quickly turns you down.

You thought that since you’re in Jin’s girlfriend’s body, he’d give you the opportunity to hear a little bit of it. Then again, you are pushing your limits a bit too far; you cannot forget that Elaine and Jin’s members have a professional relationship.

“I’m sorry...it was wrong of me to ask.” You say timidly and with guilt. “I was hoping that maybe we can get to know each other a bit mor-”

“Do you think that just because you lost your memories, we’ll treat you any better?” Suga interrupts you.

You’re taken aback by Suga’s sudden rudeness. “What?”

“You acting the way you are right now isn’t going to change what you’ve done in the past, and I will never won’t forgive you for what you’ve done to Jin.”

Suga is glaring at you with dagger eyes, sounding both menacing and serious with his words, despite his expression not changing once. And with just that single sentence, it was already enough to send shivers down your spine. You have no idea what Elaine has done to Jin in the past, but it still felt as though Suga was directly talking to you. And this makes you feel guilty that you were using Elaine’s body to get too involved in Jin’s life.

Seeing as the situation unfolded into this, RM slightly shakes his head to Suga, not knowing what you might do to them. He calls Suga by his real name, and his expression reads ‘don’t say that’. But Suga doesn’t even acknowledge RM’s worries, continuing to eat the plate of food that he picked out. You lost your appetite, wondering if it’s really alright to pretend to be Elaine. Suddenly, you start to miss your old life.

------

What Suga said to you bothered you even after Rae dropped you back off to Elaine’s apartment. When you walk back to your living room, tossing Elaine’s purse that you brought to the couch, you stand dead center in the room, staring at nothing but the white yet stained wall.

Rae catches on to your odd behavior. “Elaine, what’s wrong? Do your injuries hurt?”

“No…”

When you look at this apartment in its entirety, you’ve lived here for days, and yet this place is so unfamiliar. Your posters of Jin and his members pinned to the wall is not here, the clothes that you wore every day is replaced with designer outfits. Even Elaine’s natural scent is left behind in this apartment, not yours.

“Well, I have a meeting to attend to, so call me if you ever need anything.” Rae says before closing the door.

Rae doesn’t give you an opportunity to say goodbye before closing the door, or even the chance to glance at her. You’re left alone in this apartment, left to only your memories of the past before the accident. It seemed like long ago since you were (Y/N), and you wished to be her again. Elaine’s world feels just too lonely, despite being a celebrity.

You crouch into a fetal position, missing everyone, including your parents, classmates, friends. You’ve loved Jin and his band for so long, and yet they feel foreign to you. You want to look for your body, but you don’t even know where you are and how to escape from this place. Plus, you’re scared of doing this all alone.

But what you’re most scared about is finding out that in the end, you really are a character that Elaine created with her mental disorder—that you never existed in the first place. You’re terrified of the day Elaine returns to her body, and you’re forced to sleep in her body for eternity.

------

You hear the sound of your doorbell ring, so you get up from the couch to look through the door hole, and you’re surprised to see Jin standing in front of the door.

You open the door, delighted to see him. “Good morning, Jin! What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to see you.”

Just hearing him say that makes your heart skip a beat. You’re so nervous that you can’t even think of a response. You meekly stride back to the kitchen, head kept low.

“Is there anything you want to drink?”

“I’m good.” Jin smiles and shakes his hand.

Since he doesn’t want anything, you head back to the living room, where Jin sits down at the couch. Feeling anxious, you dare not to sit close to Jin, so you sit on the other end.

Of all the times you got to talk to Jin, it’s always been interrupted or you got so nervous that not a single word came out of your mouth. Since you and Jin are in a private space just to yourselves, you shouldn’t waste your time feeling scared all the time and initiate a conversation.

“Did Suga say anything to you?” But even before you can open your mouth, Jin already beat you to talking. “You looked a little bothered the other day.”

“Huh? Oh, no no no! I’m okay. RM and Suga were very kind to me.” You didn’t want to say anything sour about them to Jin, especially since they’ve been friends for years.

But what Suga said to you still boggles you. There’s a piece of Elaine’s past that you don’t know about, but you don’t feel right asking. Based on what Suga said, Elaine did hurt Jin in the past, so you don’t want to ask Jin directly what happened, fearing that the topic might be too sensitive for him.

“But...they mentioned a few things that I don’t remember. Nothing has been able to trigger my memories so far. I don’t remember anything at all.”

You actually don’t want to remember anything, worried that it might wake you up to the realization that you never existed, but you’re curiosity is getting the best of you. Everyone knows Elaine more than you, even though you’re in her body.

Jin looks conflicted about telling you what kind of person Elaine is. He looks at everywhere except for you, then he sighs.

“You and I met when we were twelve, it was when I went on a trip to Australia with my school. You were the daughter of the owner of the place we stayed at, and I was really shy, but you were the only one who spoke to me. Even though you were half-British, you knew some Korean, and thus we kicked it off there. Even after I came back to Korea, we still kept in contact. And then one day, you said that you wanted to become a model, so I helped you work your way up when you came here.”

You didn’t expect Elaine and Jin to know each other for that long. You initially thought that they knew each other because of work.

“When I saw you again, you were this beautiful woman, and I couldn’t help but fall in love with you. So I asked if you could become my girlfriend, and you said yes.”

Jin is staring blankly at nothing, but you can tell that he’s holding a fake smile. You can’t quite understand what his expression is trying to portray, but what you do know is that you feel immensely jealous. It never really hit you until now that you are Jin’s girlfriend, and he and his girlfriend have fond memories of each other, not you and Jin. You are taking over a body and a life that doesn’t belong to you, and with the way Jin talks about her, it’s as if you’re taking away a piece of his happiness by lying that you’re his girlfriend.

You’re slowly starting to convince yourself that maybe...you never really did exist. Perhaps the person you were before really has been a figment of your imagination, and your life as (Y/N) really has been a creation of Elaine’s personality disorder. You never existed, and the life that you lived before is nothing but a lie.

“Elaine? Are you okay?”

There it is again, ‘Elaine’. Not (Y/N), but Elaine. You start to even wonder if your name is real. It just hurts you more that in this world that you’re living in, no one knows your original name, just ‘Elaine’.

But you try your hardest to pull a smile with a face that doesn’t belong to you, to a person who doesn’t even love you. “I’m okay.”

------

Ever since that day when Jin visited you, you haven’t been feeling really upbeat as of late. All you could think about is the day when Elaine’s real personality returns and takes over, and you’re forced to sleep in her body. You keep thinking about returning to your house to confirm that you really are alive, but it’s difficult doing it all alone, as well as having Elaine’s manager constantly watching you.

Once again, you can’t go outside because Rae insists that you’ll be discovered, and your accident will be released to the public. You know that, but you want to have some fresh air because being locked up in a home that isn’t yours makes you feel suffocated.

You thought that staying here would mean getting to see Jin more than any normal fan, but every time you see his contact number on Elaine’s phone or when he drops by the visit, you always feel guilty. You feel awful for taking away someone important to him. What’s worse is that you’re pretending to be her too.

While laying on the floor in the living room, connecting dots on the ceiling with your imagination, you hear the doorbell ring. You pull yourself up, not wanting to move but forcing yourself to. You drag your feet across the floorboards, looking through the door hole to Rae standing there. You open the door, and immediately you’re met with a look of enthusiasm.

“Elaine! I have some good news for you!” She exclaims.

You move to the side to let Rae inside. She makes herself comfortable by taking off her shoes and walking to the living room.

“What is it?”

“So I talked to the company, and they said that they can help get you a photoshoot opportunity next Monday.”

Your jaw drops to the horror of hearing that. You completely forgot that Elaine is a model, whereas you aren’t. You quickly look for any source of excuse to prevent yourself from working.

“B-but that’s so soon. I’m still recovering...a-and my disorder is still playing and…”

“It’s alright! Most of your serious injuries has healed, and we can have makeup hide the rest. As for your mental disorder...I’m pretty sure once you start working, then you’ll return to the old self!”

Your heart drops at hearing the possibility that Elaine’s original personality will return. “I-I don’t think I’m ready to start working again...You said that I can start working by the end of this month…”

“Yes, but weren’t you the one who kept complaining to me that you want to go out? Why do you sound so scared? You love modeling!”

I don’t like modeling...Elaine does.

“Don’t you want to remember yourself? I think doing what you love the most will help you return back to normal.”

But I don’t want to model. I’m not Elaine...

“Regardless, I was able to schedule you for Monday afternoon, so make sure to get yourself ready by then, alright? Oh, and you look like you gained a couple of pounds. In the meantime, you’re going to have to cut your diet in half before you start modeling again. That’s all I wanted to tell you.”

Rae turns around to make her way out of Elaine’s apartment, leaving you with nothing but the feeling of dread and distaste.

“I don’t want to do it.” You state bluntly.

Rae’s head whirls around, unable to believe what you just said. “Excuse me?”

“I don’t want to model. That’s not what I do.”

Rae looks worried, concerned that Elaine somehow convinced herself that her new personality has taken over her. “What are you saying? You know you can’t just sit around and do nothing. At some point, you will have to start working to pay for your expenses.”

You don’t respond, but even with your silence, Rae knows that you still don’t plan on doing Elaine’s job. She begins to look desperate, her eyebrows creased as she hurriedly moves to you, putting her hands on your upper arms.

 “Have you forgotten the reason why you travelled all the way to Korea?! You came here because you wanted to pursue your dreams in becoming a model, remember?! How can you just say that?! This is your livelihood!”

You’re tired of pretending to be Elaine for others. You want to be yourself again, but you were always scared that people were going to tell you that you’re a fake. But Rae pushed you to your limit.

“That’s not my dreams! They belong to Elaine, not me!” You finally said what you’ve been wanting to say since that day at the hospital.

But instead of understanding you, you only made Rae even more concerned. She had thought that all this time, Elaine’s mental health was improving, which is why she pushed to have her work earlier than expected. However, it turns out that all this time, the old Elaine never returned.

“I’m not Elaine...I’m…”

“Don’t say it! Get that out of your head!” Rae wraps her hands around your head, shaking it furiously. “You are not that person! You are Elaine Ellington, an up and rising model who’s extroverted, independent, and stubborn. The person you are right now is not real! Stop pretending to be this person and go back to the way you were!”

She said it, the one thing you were absolutely terrified to hear, that the person you once were is a figment of Elaine’s imagination. You feel your knees becoming weak, so you clutch onto Rae’s arms to keep you standing.

Seeing as she has frightened you, Rae moves away, sighing and pressing her hand on her forehead. “This is going nowhere. I told the doctors to hold off on the medication because the symptoms would affect your weight and skin, but it looks like you have no choice.”

You look horrified, not knowing that there were medications along with Elaine’s disorder.

“I’ll drop them off after I make an appointment with your doctor, and I’ll also make sure that you take your medication too. I know how much you hate them, but I’m worried that you won’t wake up.”

You don’t know what to say. You’re scared that if you keep saying that you’re not Elaine, then it’ll just convince Rae to force you to take more medication. You don’t know if the medicine will actually take an effect on your body or mental state, but you don’t want to try.

But you’re also afraid that if you keep lying that you’re Elaine, then at some point, the memories of your life before the accident will become nothing more than a forgotten dream. You’re scared that one day, you’ll convince yourself that your name and your life never existed. No one will ever know your real name and eventually you will not know your own name.

You run out the apartment in tears, and Rae runs after you, stopping right by the door. “Elaine!”

But you’re too quick for her to catch up, but she still chases after you. It isn’t long before she loses sight of you, and you’re gone from her vision.

------

You’re sitting alone at a bench at an empty park. Your phone keeps ringing because Rae is calling you repeatedly, but every time you see her phone number on the screen, you mute it. You know that if you pick it up, then all she’ll do is try to convince you to come back and work. Rae doesn’t even try to understand you no matter how much you try talking. Even though she is supposedly the closest person to Elaine besides Jin, it feels as though their relationship is strictly professional. She doesn’t care about Elaine’s health—as long as she does her job.

You curl up into a ball, hiding your face behind your knees, letting go a waterfall of tears. You thought that since you got to see Jin in real life, you would love it, but all it ever did for you is make you feel lonely. You missed the freedom you had, going to different places with your friends and coming home to a loving family. Every day feels so cold, and you wish you can return those days you took for granted.

You can feel Elaine’s phone vibrate, so you look at it, already assuming it to be Rae. But to your surprise, it isn’t her. It’s Jin. You don’t know whether or not you should pick it up, in fear that he’s only calling because Rae knows that you’d do anything for Jin.

But of course, Rae is right. You can’t bring yourself to ignore Jin’s call, so you pick it up, wiping your tears and sniffing your nose. “Hello?”

“Hey, where are you right now?”

“I don’t know...A park I think?”

You can hear Jin on the other side. “You think? Does it look like a park.”

“Yea.”

“Do you know the name of the park?”

You look around to find any name of the park, but you don’t see the name of it anywhere from where you’re at. “I don’t see a name anywhere. But it’s the one closest to Ela- I mean…’my’ apartment.”

“Hmm...okay. Don’t move from your spot.”

“Wait, why?”

“Because I’m going to go see you.”

“What?!”

Jin hangs up the phone. You stare at the phone, unsure if he’s actually serious about meeting you here. You have a feeling that Rae pleaded Jin to look for you, and if she did, you’ll feel at fault for taking him out of his busy schedule to look for you. Then again, there is that chance that Jin doesn’t know what happened between you and Rae and is authentically worried.

It’s been fifteen minutes since Jin called, and he really did show up. When you perk your head up, you see him walking to your direction, wearing a mask and baseball cap to hide his identity. But you’d recognize Jin anywhere. You’ve gotten to the point where you even recognize the way he walks.

Jin stands in front of you, smiling and waving his hand, but you force a quick smile, then lower your head. He takes a seat next to you, leaning forward and trying to get a good look at your face. Feeling insecure since you were just crying and letting your snot fly everywhere, you try to hide it and lowering it even more.

“Have you been crying?” He asks in a worried tone.

“No.”

There was no point in lying because Jin can see right through you. After the accident, you always appeared to be excited whenever you saw him, but now, you look as if you want him to go away.

“You don’t have to stay here with me. If you’re busy with work, you can always leave.” You mumble through your raspy voice from all the crying.

Jin looks at you, looking a bit bewildered. “And leave you here alone? I can’t do that. I’ll leave once you’re feeling better.”

“I can feel better on my own.”

Jin leans back, but in an exaggerated manner, pulling himself all the way back. His bottom lip perks up and his eyebrows crease, as if he’s imitating a sulking expression. “Why are you acting so cold towards me?”

Flustered that you might’ve offended him, you sit up straight and try to think of ways to make him feel better. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

Jin sits up and laughs. “I was just joking.”

 You loosen up, relieved that he was only messing with you. When you think about, based on all of the shows you’ve seen of Jin, he’s always been a jokester. But ever since your first meeting, Jin was always a serious person. He never once made a joke or make you laugh. He always seemed so...solemn.

Although Jin claims to be Elaine’s boyfriend, he never once acted like one. He may visit Elaine’s apartment every so often or knows when to behave politely around you, he’s never once said that he loves you, and he’s never been touchy. There are no pet names, no sign of affection whatsoever. Despite knowing Elaine for years, it feels like he treats you no different than from a coworker.

Seeing as you didn’t laugh at Jin’s joke, Jin doesn’t really know what else to say. “I guess I wasn’t being funny. But then again...you never really did laugh at my jokes, did you?”

You’re confused because you always laugh at his jokes whenever he cracks one on a show.

“You always said that it was annoying.”

But then you realize that Jin isn’t talking about you, but his girlfriend, Elaine. You forgot about the whole reason why you’re here. You know for certainty that even though Jin does not show a single sign of affection right now, you remember when Jin was explaining about the past with Elaine, he looked sincerely happy when talking about it. Jin has memories of someone who isn’t you, but of his girlfriend. Everyone in this world knows only Elaine, not you.

Not wanting to feel this heartache anymore, you get up from your seat, leaving Jin confused. “Where are you going?”

“...Are you like Elaine’s manager? Do you wish for Elaine to come back again?”

“What?”

Once again, you can’t stop the tears from flowing, but you try wiping them. “I’m sorry I took her away from you...”

You turn around, walking away, unable to bear with this immense guilt. Jin stands up from his spot, but his feet won’t push forward. He believes that if he tries to go after you, it’ll only make you run away.

“Elaine, come back! Elaine!!”

But hearing a name that doesn’t even belong to you only makes your walking pace faster. Jin calls Elaine’s name again, but each time he calls you that, it’s like a knife through the heart. You feel as though you’re slowing drifting away from the person you once were.

“(Y/N)!!” He shouts from the top of his lungs.

You stop walking and spin around. You heard a name you haven’t heard in so long, and for a second, you even thought that you were dreaming. Your lips start to quiver, terrified that you might’ve just imagined that.

“H-how did you…?”

“You said it once at the hospital, remember? I had a feeling you weren’t Elaine all this time, but I wasn’t sure,” Jin smiles gently. “You must’ve felt alone, pretending to be someone you aren’t all this time.”

Your heart starts pounding—your breathing unstable. This is real. Jin really said your name. Even if it’s because he heard you say it once, hearing someone say that you’re not her is enough to make you overjoyed.

Jin opens his arms, signaling for an embrace. “Come here.”

Without thinking, you run into Jin’s arms, hugging him tightly as you sob on his chest. This is the first time you’ve ever been held by Jin, and you honestly thought that never in your life, you’d be able to hug him, or even be this close to him. You try to say the words ‘thank you’, but your cries are so loud that you can’t even mouthed it. You never realized that all this time, all you needed was someone to say your real name.

------

Once you finished crying, you both return to the bench, where you gave Jin pretty much your entire life story. You told him about where you live, your family, all of your friends, your interests, everything. You even tell him that you’re a huge fan of him, to which he thanks you diligently.

But you also tell him about your encounter with Elaine, explaining that you don’t really know what happened or how you ended up in her body. You don’t even know how your body is doing, and you would love to go and see, but Rae is pulling you back.

When you’re done talking about yourself, Jin doesn’t say anything. You look at the time, and you realize that you kept Jin here with you for hours, and ��the sun is already setting.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry Jin! I kept you out for so long. We should hurry and take you back or else you’ll get yelled at.”

Jin shakes his head. “It’s fine. It was nice listening to you talking about yourself. I’ve never seen you look so happy.”

You blush, looking away timidly.

“So what are you gonna do? Are you going to go back to your home and hope that your body is there?”

“...I don’t know. I want to go back home, but I’m scared about Rae following me. Plus, I live at least a day away from here.”

But you’re also scared about returning back home and your body not being there, or the possibility that maybe...you aren’t yourself, but just a clone inside Elaine’s body.

Noticing that scared look on your face, Jin puts his hand on your shoulder to reassure you. “Hey, you’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it too much.”

“Yea…” Suddenly, a light bulb lights up above your head. “The tour! I bought a ticket for your tour!”

“What?”

“Your tour starts in less than a month, right? And you’ll be doing one near my hometown. If I can convince Manager Rae to have me tag along, then I can go home. I’m sure Manager Rae wouldn’t mind me going as long as I’m with you.”

Jin hadn’t thought of that. “Sounds like a plan.”

Your phone starts ringing again, and you had completely forgotten about it because you were talking to Jin all this time. When you check the caller ID, it’s Rae.

“Shoot...I forgot about Manager Rae…”

You dread the thought of having to return to your apartment to see Rae. You know she’s going to scold you for running away, then once again, you’ll be reminded that you’re a fake.

Jin can sense that look of uneasiness in your eyes, so he clears his throat to get your attention. “I can always talk to her. You know, persuade her not to let you take the medication.”

You already feel like burden because Jin went out of his way to search for you, and now he’s wasting more of his time to help you get out of your situation.

“No! I can handle this on my own.” You say with uncertainty.

“It’s fine. I can talk her out of it. I don’t think she’s going to listen to someone who is claimed to have mental issues.” Jin jesters, followed by a slight chuckle.

He does make a point. In Rae’s eyes, you look insane, so it would make more sense if she listens to someone who’s normal.

“...Thanks again.”

------

You and Jin return to Elaine’s apartment, and Rae is standing by the front of the door, constantly trying to contact you through phone. Jin has you hide behind a corner of the complex as he talks to Rae. You can barely make sense of what they’re talking about, but after a couple of minutes, you see Rae nod her head, then leave the complex from the opposite direction. Once she’s gone, Jin signals for you to come.

You walk towards Jin. “What did she say?”

“It took a lot of convincing, but I had to lie to her that you were making progress and she took the bait. Also, she feels apologetic for rushing your recovery and forcing you to work, so she rescheduled it for the original day you’re supposed to return.”

You exhale a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

Jin takes out his phone and checks the time. “It’s getting late, and I should get going.”

“Oh that’s right! I’m sorry again for making you waste all your time.

“No, it’s fine!”

“...I don’t know if you really believe everything I said...about me not being Elaine. Even though I’m in her body...I don’t even know if I really am Elaine, or just pretending to be someone else. But despite all that...I just want to say thank you. Thank you for making (Y/N) feel like she’s alive...” You look up at Jin, finally having the courage to look at him in the eyes.

You’re about to make a decision that could possibly create a huge avalanche for the future, but at the same time, perhaps not. Still, you want to express your gratitude for him being by your side. You close your eyes, tiptoeing to match his height, kissing him gently on the cheek.

You pull yourself back, and when opening your eyes, you see a shocked Jin. His eyes are wide, not expecting it from someone who’s been unassertive all this time. You drop your head, losing all that confidence you had before, already regretting that choice of action. To cover your bashful face, you use your forearm to hide it.

“I-I figured that you must’ve missed making physical contact with Elaine...so I...I…” You can’t even bring yourself to say what you did. “H-have a good night and don’t overwork yourself!!”

You spin your entire body, just wanting this night to end already. But because you were in such a rush to escape this untimely tension you created, you forgot that Elaine’s front door is just inches away from you. You bump your forehead directly on the door, nearly falling backwards from the harsh impact.

Seeing as you just harmed yourself by accident, Jin instinctively has his arms out to catch you, but you are able to regain your balance. “Are you okay??”

As if your night couldn’t get even more embarrassing, you just had to do something even more humiliating in front of him. You smile to show that you’re alright, even though you feel light-headed.

“I’m okay! Really, good night though!”

You open the door and enter as quickly as you can, shutting the door right after. Jin can’t help but laugh, already imagining what you’re doing on the other side of the door. Knowing you, you might be covering your face and calling yourself an idiot. And even though Jin is laughing, he’s also as red as a tomato.

He finds it odd that despite only knowing you for a few weeks, he can already catch a few of your habits. You have strong determination despite your shy nature, but you’re also weak to feeling alone, and thus you become dependent. You show great kindness towards others, and even though it’s the same face as Elaine, there’s something alluring about the way you smile.

You are right though—Jin can’t fully bring himself to believe that you’ve magically possessed Elaine’s body out of the blue. But at the same time, he can’t explain how Elaine’s a completely different person. Needless to say, the way you make Jin feel whenever he sees you is something he hasn’t experienced in a long time. The last time he felt this way was when Elaine first came to Korea.

------

Ever since that night, you felt more comfortable talking to Jin, but through phone of course. Since it’s getting closer to tour date, Jin has been busier than before, constantly going to meetings and rehearsals without any breaks in between. You always call to make sure that Jin is doing alright and isn’t pushing himself too hard, to which Jin reassures you that he isn’t. But his words don’t do a good job at selling you because every time you call, he sounds tired.

You wish you can visit him so that you can confirm that Jin is taking care of himself, but knowing Rae, she won’t let you out a second time, especially after that day when you ran out the door. It feels dreary being in this apartment alone. For someone who’s working in the entertainment industry, Elaine doesn’t seem to have that many friends. You can get a sense that Jin’s bandmates dislike her, or at least Suga strongly despises her.

You didn’t forget about your plan concerning the concert. You asked Rae if you can get a ticket—the same exact one as the one you originally bought, but Rae was skeptical. She lectured you that if you had enough strength to go to a concert, then you should have enough to start working. You started making excuses that you wanted to end your month-long break with a concert, and surprisingly, Rae believed you. She tells you that she’ll try to help look for a ticket for you.

------

You texted Jin about being able to convince Rae, but he hasn’t responded. In fact, he hasn’t contacted you the entire day. You keep checking to see if Jin texted or called you but to no avail. If you remember correctly, Jin is probably busy with the upcoming tour.

Even though you’re supposed to be the closest to Jin, Jin isn’t very open about telling you anything. If you were to list the things you’ve learned about Jin while being in this body, it’s no different than what an average fan would know, other than that he’s secretly dating someone.

As shameful as it is, you still visit K-pop forums and news websites to see if you can get any source of information about Jin. You know that asking directly will result in Jin avoiding the question by lying or changing the topic.

On your original phone, you were following a forum page dedicated to Jin. This forum usually updates followers about Jin’s activities, public locations during comebacks, and sometimes spark conversations about Jin’s health.

Luckily for you, you still remember the password to your account. You thought about going through your own social media accounts and messaging yourself or your friends, but you aren’t sure if your friends will believe you. Rae even checks Elaine’s social media accounts on her phone in case you post anything by accident.

Since you haven’t visited the website in days, you’re way behind in updates. You scroll through the feed that you missed out on, checking to see if there are fans who noticed anything about Jin. That’s when you found a picture of Jin surfacing around the website. It’s a picture of him entering the agency, wearing a face mask and a baseball hat. The only facial feature exposed is his eyes, but his eyes look swollen and red.

When you read the responses concerning that picture, many of the fans share their distress, saying that Jin looks ill. You look back at the picture, and they’re right, he does look like he’s sick, which might explain why he’s wearing that face mask. All this time, Jin kept telling you that he’s alright, but the picture you see in front of you says otherwise.

Now feeling anxious for Jin’s sake, you want to leave your apartment to visit him, but you worked hard to regain Rae’s trust again. If you were to sneak out of this apartment, who knows what Rae might do to you. She can enforce stricter surveillance on you. And yet...your gut tells you that you should break the rules once more to see Jin.

You apologize to Rae in your head, then you grab a jacket and Elaine’s purse, along with a face mask, sunglasses, and a beanie to cover your identity. You open the front door slowly, peeking your head out to make sure that Rae is nowhere to be seen. Once the coast is clear, you march out of the door, planning to head to the closest convenience store to buy something for Jin. While you’re at it, you might buy a few snacks for the other members in case they’re there too.

------

It’s a miracle that you made it to Jin’s agency without anyone spotting you. Rae made it sound as if the moment you set your foot outside, you’ll be recognized by the public, but with your disguise, it’s not possible for anyone to recognize you.

You stand in front of the entrance, holding a grocery bag in your right hand. You need an employee ID card to enter, but if you can recall, Rae put down a passcode. You try to remember the passcode, pressing down four pin numbers, and you were successful in doing so. You hear the unlocking sound of the double-door, and you walk inside.

The receptionist doesn’t recognize you at first because of your face mask and sunglasses, but when you take them off, she recognizes you immediately. “Good morning Miss Ellington.”

You bow down slightly to acknowledge her greeting. “Good morning!”

“Is there anything that I can assist you with?”

“I’m just here to visit Jin.”

“Ah, he’s in the practice room with the rest of his members. They’re currently rehearsing for their upcoming concert, so I don’t believe they have any free time.”

“Oh, no, I wanted to drop off this.” You lift your arm up for the receptionist to see the grocery bag.

“I see, then I can allow it. Then head to your left, and it should be the third door to your right.” She points to your left.

You thank the receptionist and head to the rehearsal room. You’ve always watched videos where they practice in their dance studio, but this is your first time going inside and you’re excited. You want to see how it looks like in person, and you can possibly be the only fan who’s seen it in person.

It doesn’t take long for you to hear the booming sound of their song blasting from the other side of the wall. If it’s this loud from the outside, you can’t imagine how loud it is inside. You stand in front of the door, embracing for the loud sound to blow you away.

You enter the practice room, and it’s much smaller than you initially thought. In the practice room, the wooden floorboards are well-polished, and the walls are very clean, not a single stain in sight. There’s musical equipment and instruments pushed to the corner of the room, and in the other corner is a computer system along with a television on the wall.

 Since you entered through the back, they don’t notice you at first. But when Jin sees you from their wall mirror, he breaks out of focus and freezes momentarily.

He spins around, ultimately making everyone else lose the beat of the song. “(Y/N)??”

Your heart skips a beat when you hear him call you by your real name, but in a split second, the mood changes to panic when you forgot that you’re currently Elaine to the other members. Thankfully, the music is loud enough that they didn’t hear.

Suga turns off  the music, and Jin walks towards you. He leans close to you to whisper, and internally you feel like squealing that he’s closing the space between you and him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just came here to visit.”

You look away from Jin, since you’re interested in how the other members look like in person. You’ve already seen RM and Suga, so you wanted to see the other four. And of course, their beauty is unfathomable. You can’t put into words about how handsome they all are in real life, even without makeup.

But unlike their usually upbeat personalities on their shows, none of them greets you. Jimin meekly smiles, but he’s quick to touching his phone. He looks frustrated, most likely due to finding his dance unsatisfactory in his standards. Jungkook doesn’t even acknowledge you, heading straight to his bag and playing with his phone too. RM and Suga looks annoyed that you interrupted their practice, and V just stares at you and Jin.

J-Hope is the only person who greets you. He waves at you, but not saying ‘hello’ because he’s out of breath. He’s quick to returning to the dance practice, staring at himself in the mirror and rehearsing the dance by himself.

Just like in the picture you saw, Jin does look sick, but it’s worse up close. You can tell from his voice that it’s groggy, and his eyes are bloodshot red, as if he had zero sleep. He keeps sniffing, and he looks like he’s about to pass out from exhaustion.

You show him the grocery bag, and you take out some pill bottles. “I wasn’t sure what you’re sick with exactly, so I bought you a bunch of medicine.”

“Wait, how did you know I was sick?”

You give him a quick smile. “I just had a feeling.”

You didn’t want to admit that you semi-stalked him on the internet. You sit down, criss-crossed on the floor, taking out each medicine bottle one by one. Everyone looks at you as if it isn’t normal for Elaine to be sitting this crudely.

“This one is for a fever, this one is if you have a cold, and this is a coughing medicine. Oh, and I also bought headache and pain medicine too. I also bought some snacks for everyone.”

The word ‘snacks’ quickly grabs everyone’s attention. J-Hope’s iconic smile brightens up the dull atmosphere, approaching you as he must’ve been hungry.

“Wow! Thanks Elaine!!”

You hand J-Hope a granola bar, and he takes it. V continues to stare at you and Jin, more so at the bag of snacks. After contemplating for a while, V gives in to the temptation and asks you for the chocolate bar. Jungkook asks V to pass him the granola bar, and he does. You feel a little happy that the other members are slowly opening up to you, since at first, they gave you the cold shoulder.

V also gives candy to Jimin, who still looks stressed, but his stiff expression loosens up when receiving it. He thanks you for the food, and you feel elated.

“Why did you buy all of this?” Jin whispers.

“Huh? Oh, it’s because I was really worried about you. You looked and sounded really sick, so I snuck out to buy some stuff.”

“Snuck out?? What about Ms. Rae?? Did she let you?”

You shake your head, smiling mischievously. “I wanted to make sure that you were alright without having her on my back. Plus, I’ve always read fictional stories about the main character visiting you guys…”

You almost slipped out that you read fanfictions about them.

“...Visiting their favorite celebrities during practice! I’ve always wanted to do that.” You giggle childishly.

Jin had forgotten that you’re originally a fan of him and his band. He hasn’t quite gotten the gist of you being a fan, not his girlfriend. But hearing you say that you snuck out because you were worried about him makes Jin’s heart flutter. He honestly can’t remember the last time Elaine visited him during dance practice.

While you’re talking to Jin excitedly, Suga is watching from the background. He watches as you smile brightly, and he sees something he hasn’t seen in Jin’s face in so long. Jin’s expression is soft, and his entire body is directed towards you. He looks...somewhat happy to see you—he looks hopeful, and that look on his face only worries Suga even more.

Jungkook searches for his drink that he brought in his backpack, except his drink is nowhere to be found.

“Huh? Where’s my drink?” Jungkook mumbles to himself.

Jungkook continues to search deeper in his bag, but he can’t find it anywhere. Jimin scoots closer to him to help him, but he is unsuccessful in finding it as well.

“Do you remember where you last put it?” Jimin asks while turned to Jungkook.

“...I might’ve left it on the counter back home…” Once he remembers where he put it, Jungkook messes with his hair. “Ah, shit! I did!”

“Text Manager Sejin to bring us some drinks. I forgot to bring my water too.” RM shouts from across the room to Jungkook.

Jungkook nods his head slightly and takes out his phone to text their manager. However, you want to be their savior, so you raise your hand to get everyone’s attention. You feel a little embarrassed that you didn’t buy any drinks for them.

“I can buy you guys drinks!”

They all turn to you, not expecting you to pitch in. They look uncomfortable when you volunteered to buy it since you were not really involved in their conversation.

But RM pulls a professional smile to let go of the tense air. “It’s okay. Jungkook is texting our manager right now.”

“But there’s a vending machine just out there. I have some cash on me right now, so I don’t mind,” You insist. “Jin can text me what everyone wants. I’ll be right back.”

And just like that, you left the room. You leave everyone speechless with how quick you are to help them. They know that the previous Elaine was never like this, and though it is strange to have someone who was once heartless like Elaine suddenly become an angel, they also can’t find themselves to hold a grudge against you.

...Well, almost everyone. Suga is not convinced by your sudden act of kindness. If anything, he finds this as another one of Elaine’s nasty tricks into getting people to do what she wants. He can’t believe that Jin is so quick to believe that her facade is all just a mental disorder.

Suga heads to the same door that you went through.

“Where are you going, Hyung?” RM looks up from his phone.

“Bathroom.”

Suga walks out, but in the same direction that you went. J-Hope is the first one to notice that oddity.

“That’s strange. Isn’t the restroom the other direction? Why did Hyung go the other way?” J-Hope mumbles to himself.

“Maybe for fresh air?” V answers.

Jin notices that too. He thought that Suga was too quiet when you came into the room. He’s worried that Suga might do something to you, so he stands up and goes after him.

“Hyung, where are you going??” RM asks once again.

“Bathroom.” He says as he heads to your direction.

“He went the opposite direction like Suga-hyung too.” J-Hope once again comments.

“Maybe it’s an off day for the both of them?” V answers again with a question.

------

You should’ve asked for Jin or at least one of the members to help you. Drinks for seven grown men is too much for these petite arms. Jin ended up not sending you a text of what they want, so you bought an array of drinks and decide to let them choose when you return.

You hear someone approaching you from behind, and assuming that it’s Jin, you spin around. “Oh Jin, can you help me with some of these?”

But you’re surprised not to see Jin, but Suga. You freeze, staring straight into Suga’s eyes, knowing that there is no sign of friendliness within him.

You try not to let his death glares deter you, so you pull off a smile. “Oh, hello Suga. I’m sorry, I thought you were Jin so…”

“What are you doing?”

“Hm? Oh, I’m carrying the drinks for you gu-”

“Don’t play fucking dumb and tell me, what the fuck are you planning?”

Suga’s sudden change of tone scares you. You’ve never seen Suga’s angry side before, so you don’t know how to react.

“Are you planning to use Jin again? Old habits never go away, does it?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about...What do you mean ‘use’?”

“Oh that’s right, you have your mental problems. Well, let me spell it out for you so you remember how horrible you are,” Suga moves closer to you, and feeling scared, you step back a little. “You’re a controlling bitch who uses Jin for your own needs, and Jin is too nice to tell you upfront. Jin was naive enough to fall in love with you and still naive for staying with you. But there were nights when Jin cried himself to sleep all because you’re heartless.”

You’re horrified to hear that. You could tell from the way others react around you that Elaine isn’t the nicest person, but you would’ve never thought that she would use Jin. If anything, your blood is boiling as much as Suga’s is at this moment. How someone can use someone as kind as Jin for their own purposes?

“I don’t think anyone told you this because they’re afraid to hurt your sensitive little ass, but do you know why you were out and about that night of the accident?” Suga leans closer. “Because I convinced Jin to break up with you. You couldn’t handle the thought of being the one who’s been dumped, so you went out that night, drinking until you couldn’t walk. Because of your recklessness, you got an innocent passerby nearly killed by a car. Now do you see why everyone hates you? Even Jin hates you.”

You don’t know how to respond. Suga is telling you that the reason why you got in a fight with her is because she couldn’t handle being dumped. That’s why you’re stuck in her body right now.

“...How can she be so reckless?” You mutter to yourself.

“What?”

“A million of other girls wish she can be in her position, and she uses it for granted. If I were in her position, I’d take care of Jin every day...I’d be there for him during his toughest days, and I’ll cook him his favorite meals. I’ll make sure to call him and ask if he takes care of himself, and when I don’t believe him, I’ll just drop by and take care of him myself.”

“...What the hell are you talking about? Aren’t you with him right now?”

Despite all this anger fuming inside of you, you still manage to keep your composure. “Yup, that’s why with the time that I have left with him right now, I’m going to do everything to ensure that he’ll heal from Elaine’s mistakes. I’ve always supported him from afar, and now that I’ve gotten this opportunity to be with him, I’m going to do everything I’ve promised to do. So in a way, I’m glad Elaine pushed me in front of a car.”

You leave Suga speechless, returning to the practice room to give everybody the drinks. Rather than impressed by your confidence, he’s more confused. Even though you’re Elaine, you spoke in a third person, as if you’re not her. And to be specific, you spoke as if you’re the victim she got into a fight with that night. For a second, he swore he heard someone else speak, not Elaine.

It might be because lack of sleep or he’s overworking himself that he’s hearing things, he tells himself to forget about it. For now, Suga decides to use the restroom to rinse his face. He heads to the direction of the bathroom, and in the hallway, he nearly bumps into someone. To his surprise, it’s Jin.

“Hyung?? What are you doing here?”

Jin doesn’t respond, he’s just staring blankly, covering his mouth with the palm of his head. Suga realizes that where Jin is standing, he could’ve easily heard Suga’s conversation with you.

“Did you just hear…?” Suga stops mid-sentence when he notices that underneath Jin’s hands, he’s blushing.

Without a doubt, Jin must’ve heard their conversation. Suga thought that Jin would get upset for confronting you like that, but seeing as he isn’t even responding to him, Jin might be thinking about the last thing you said. Usually, this would be around the time when Suga explodes on Jin for being gullible in falling for Elaine again, but after what you said, Suga is starting to doubt himself about who you are.

“Don’t tell me...are you falling for her again?”

“...I’m not falling for ‘her’ again…” Jin finally speaks.

Suga understood him clearly by what he meant. He doesn’t need Jin to explain how he feels about you. But after that realization, Suga ponders once again.

“Didn’t you say that the only reason why you’re helping her is because you’re trying to help her return back to normal? So what’ll you do when the person she is right now is gone?”

Suga remembers you referencing that you have a limited amount of time to be with him, meaning that you’re aware that you won’t get to be with Jin for long. Jin doesn’t respond quickly and is also questioning that as well. But in all truth, Jin can’t find an answer to that question.

“I don’t know…”

------

Back in Elaine’s apartment, you still can’t believe that yesterday you just talked back to Suga, the Suga. He gives off a menacing aura, and talking to him in person doesn’t make things any easier. But you couldn’t just stand there and let Suga continue on with this misunderstanding. You’re not Elaine, and you would never treat Jin like that. You don’t know if your messages reached him, but as long as you said it, then it’s fine.

Your train of thought is interrupted by a text tone, which startles you. You, who was sitting on the floor while rest the upper half of your body on the coffee table, jumps and shrieks quietly. After realizing that it’s just the phone, you sigh in relief. Assuming that it’s either Rae or Jin who’s texted you, you check, but it’s neither of them. It’s from an unknown number.

Hey Babe, I left something at ur place.

You know that this isn’t Jin. He doesn’t seem like the type to use nicknames such as this. Plus, if he wanted to text that, he’d do it on his phone, not some other number. You recall on your first day discharged from the hospital, Elaine has no phone numbers saved, but she did have a lot of out- and ingoing calls from unknown numbers. You debate on whether or not you should reply, but then this mysterious person sends another.

I’ve been feeling a bit lonely too. When am i gonna see you again?

Feeling disgusted, you don’t answer him. You assume that since Elaine is very pretty, she must get numbers like these often. You block the number, hoping that you wouldn’t get anything like this again.

You hear a knock on your door, and you run to it. Looking through the door hole, it’s Rae. You open the door and greet her.

“You look like you’re in high hopes.” Rae comments.

“Oh, do I?” You touch your cheeks.

“I have something that can make you happier though,” Rae scurries through her purse and takes out a ticket to Jin’s band’s concert, exactly the date and location you wanted it to be.

Rae gives you the ticket, and you’re surprised at how quick she was able to get it. It’s not every day you get to experience getting a concert ticket twice. You hug Rae, grateful that she went through the trouble of buying you a ticket.

“Thank you so much, Ms. Rae!”

“Hey now, it’s no big deal. You want to end your month-long vacation with a bang, right? Might as well enjoy your last few days at your boyfriend’s concert.”

Being reminded that Jin is Elaine’s boyfriend also reminds you of what Suga told you. Was Elaine really that scheming towards him? But to you, Jin is so kind and giving, so you can’t understand why she would manipulate him like that.

“Ms. Rae...is it true that I used to treat Jin bad?” You don’t like saying that you’re the one hurting him, but there’s no other way to say it to Rae.

Rae looks at you, and she gives it some time to answer. “Where did you hear that from?”

“U-uhm...I just heard it from someone. But is it true?”

“...It doesn't matter. The past already happened, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” Rae puts her hand on your shoulder. “What does matter is you resting before you return to work. Don’t fret about it too much.”

Her words aren’t very helpful in letting you rest. But regardless, you’re still thankful that she got you a ticket. All you need now is to somehow get there, perhaps with Jin’s team or Rae will take you there. You hope to be able to return home safely and somehow undo all of this. For now, all you can do now is pray that your body still exists.

But before you forget, you remember about the strange text message you received. Since Rae is here, you want to ask her a bit more about Elaine.

“Ms. Rae.”

“What is it?”

“This weird number texted me...so I-”

“Block them. If they don’t stop harassing you, then tell me and I’ll deal with them myself.” Rae is quick to give you a response.

If there is one thing that Rae doesn’t miss, it’s her old habits. That is the main reason why Elaine can’t get many gigs, and Rae wishes that that would go away.

“If any more unknown numbers call or text you, tell me, alright? Don’t answer back.”

“O-okay…”

Rae is normally a serious person, but you’ve never seen her this serious before. It only makes you more curious about that phone number. But if Rae says to stay away, then you rather keep your curiosity in a box than to play with it.

------

The phone rings, and you’re anticipating for Jin to pick up the call. After Rae left, you couldn’t sit still and had this innate instinct to tell Jin about your plan progressing smoothly. You also want to call in hopes that Jin’s health is improving. He did look better the last time you saw him, so it makes everything feel a bit more relieving.

Jin finally picks up the call, and you can hear his deep voice murmuring the word ‘hello’.

“Jin! Guess what!”

“Wow, someone sounds excited. What is it?”

“Ms. Rae was able to buy me a ticket to your concert near my hometown! I might be able to go home!” You exclaim.

But instead of being met by the same level of excitement, Jin doesn’t respond. For a second, you thought that Jin hung up, but when you look at the screen, you see that the call is still on.

“Hello? Jin?”

“Oh sorry, I was spacing out. That’s great for you.”

“Isn’t it? I might be able to see my parents again! I really missed my friends and family. Since everything’s going good so far, I think I might be able to go back to the way things were.”

Once again, there’s silence on the other side.

“That really is good that everything’s going well...but...what if this doesn’t work?”

“What do you mean?”

“What are you going to do if you find your body? What about if your body isn’t there anymore either? I don’t mean to discourage you, but I don’t want you to be disappointed with the other possibilities.”

You don’t understand why Jin is so unsupportive of this so suddenly. He was 100% on your side, but now he’s giving you excuses. He’s making you doubt your plan now.

“Well...it doesn’t hurt to try.”

“I know but...I don’t want to see you hurt. What if you can’t find a way to go back to your body?”

“...If I was somehow able to leave my body, then there has to be a way to return,” You try to chuckle to loosen the sober conversation. “Why are you talking like this suddenly? It’s not like you.”

Jin sighs. “You’re right. It might be the medicine kicking in. I’m sorry. I’m...glad you’re able to leave.”

There’s another pause.

“Hey (Y/N)...”

“Yea?”

“Do you hate being in this life?”

You weren’t expecting Jin to ask that question. You don’t understand why Jin is being so serious out of nowhere.

“No, I don’t technically hate it. It’s just that this life isn’t for me, and I just feel homesick.”

“Oh, okay...And (Y/N)...”

“Yea?”

“If you somehow are able to return back to your old body...can you maybe...N-never mind. I gotta go. I’ll call you later. Again, I’m...really happy you’re able to get a ticket.”

Jin hangs up. You weren’t expecting the conversation to end up like this. You felt like you said something you shouldn’t have said. But regardless, you still don’t know why Jin was like that. Is it because you’re bothering him? That can’t be it, can it?

------

It’s been a few days since Jin last made contact with you. Jin and everyone else just got back home late from practice, and he’s in his bedroom resting. He’s starting to regret what he said to you. He didn’t mean to come off as if he’s against your plan. You must’ve felt offended by his tone, and he wishes he can apologize to you. But he can’t bring himself to talk to you again. Jin sighs in frustration.

“That’s the fiftieth time you sighed,” Suga shouts from across the room.

Suga is at the opposite end of the room, laying on his bed while he watches a movie on his iPad. Jin is sitting on his bed, and he’s been staring at Elaine’s phone number, wondering if he should call you.

Suga pauses his movie and sits up. “Is it about Elaine again? Oh wait a minute...it’s (Y/N), isn’t it?”

“Yeah...I think I said something I shouldn’t have said.”

“Like what?”

“Remember her plan? She’s actually going through with it, and I think I made it obvious that I’m against it.”

“What’s wrong with that? Do you honestly believe that she’s a completely different person, and weren’t you the one who said that it’s her sickness playing out again?”

“...Elaine contacted me.”

“What? You mean (Y/N)?”

“No. The actual Elaine.”

Suga waited for Jin to say that he’s joking, but seeing as he isn’t saying anything must be that he’s being serious. Suga jumps off of his bed and scurries to Jin, to which Jin shows him the text messages he received from Elaine from a different phone number.

Answer me! Are you ignoring me on purpose??

I’m going to fking kill you for not helping me.

I’m coming back and switching bodies with that bitch.

This is, without a doubt, Elaine.

“How did she get your phone number??”

“She’s really good at memorizing phone numbers. She must’ve remembered mine.”

Suga scrolls through the text messages, and when he reads the time these messages were sent, they were sent a while back. So this entire time, Jin possibly knew a solution to returning Elaine and you back.

“Wait...so you knew about this?”

“Not exactly. I thought Elaine was pulling an elaborate plan of making me believe that she’s ‘switched bodies’, and I was just playing along with it. But then I realize that both (Y/N) and Elaine are speaking the truth.”

“Then...all of this is true?! Elaine and (Y/N) actually switch bodies??” Suga leans back, jaw-dropping in awe as he can’t believe that this is all happening. He has so many questions to ask, but right now what matters is getting you back to your original body. “So what are you waiting for? Help them get back to their bodies.”

Jin is silent.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think...I’ve gotten used to (Y/N). What if she returns to her body, and she loses all of her memories of me? Or...what if we never get to see each other? What if I didn’t take good care of her, so that’s why she’s happy she’s leaving?”

While Jin mumbles to himself, Suga stares at him. He hasn’t seen him in this huge dilemma in a long time, and the last time he saw him this frantic was when he was indecisive about breaking up with Elaine. Suga can clearly tell that Jin has fallen for you.

“I don’t know...Is it wrong for me to say that I want her to stay in Elaine’s body?”

“Hey calm down. Didn’t you say that (Y/N) is a huge fan of you? Do you really think someone who’s as dedicated as her will forget about you? She’s loved you even before she met you.”

Jin doesn’t say anything, but he listens to Suga.

“If you really do care about her, let her do what makes her happy. But before you let her go, tell her how you feel and wait for her answer. Hiding everything to yourself won’t solve anything.”

“...You’re right. Thanks, Yoongi.”

Jin jumps off his bed. “Where are you going??”

“I’m going to see her before I back down again.” He says as he grabs his sweater.

------

You check the phone, hoping that every time you turn it on, you’d see a missed call or text message from Jin, but to your misfortune, nothing appears. You wonder if there was something you said to make him avoid you, and it only makes you feel terrible. You start to doubt whether you should go to the concert. You don’t even know if it’s going to work out well, just like what Jin said.

There’s a knock on the door, which you think is weird because there’s a doorbell installed. Still, you look through the door hole, but it’s too dark to see anything. You don’t know who would be visiting you this late, but assuming that it must be Rae, you open it anyway.

But instead of being met with the familiar face, it’s a tall, burly man standing in front of the door. When you two make eye contact, you knew you made a mistake. You try to close the door, but the man stops the door by holding the frame from closing. He’s too strong for you to shut it completely.

“Whoa, what’s with the cold welcoming? I just came here to get my jacket, remember?” the man speaks in a deep voice. “Oh that’s right, you blocked my number.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, so please go away.”

The man leans closer to you. “Oh really? Then what was that jacket you were wearing when you were near that you wore to that wimp’s place?”

You have no idea what he’s talking about. But that’s when you remember you picked a blue jean jacket out during the first time you went to Jin’s agency. Now it made sense when Jin looked puzzled when you wore that jacket.

Now that you remember, you don’t want to say that you do. You don’t know this man, but you already know that you shouldn’t associate yourself with him.

“Hm? Why are you acting like I’m a stranger? Do you not know who I am?”

“...No, I don’t, so go away before I call Ms. Rae.”

The man leans back, completely shocked at the revelation. “Oh my god, the rumors are true then!”

“What rumors?”

“That you lost your memories. I thought it was just gossip, but it turns out that they weren’t fake. But I can’t believe you forgot about this handsome face of mine.”

You give him a look of disgust. Seeing as you aren’t even breaking a smile, he clears his throat.

“Maybe you’ll remember me by this.”

Suddenly, the man leans forward, kissing you on the lips. Instantaneously, you move back, covering your mouth, startled by his move. He expected you to be infatuated with him, but nothing happens.

“Hm, maybe that wasn’t enough. Maybe I should do a bit more?”

The man takes a step closer to you, stepping inside of the apartment. You move back, feeling terrified of what this man is capable of doing.

“S-stay back, or I’ll scream.” You manage to stutter.

“Oh, that really hurts my heart you know? What happened to all those nights when you used to call me over to your place? Or how about those times when we cuddled naked in your bed?”

You don’t want to hear any more from him, so you cover your ears. “Stop…”

“Or how about that time when you called me over because you felt like doing it, and your boyfriend caught us sleeping together? I remember you told me that you preferred me over your boyfriend because I was better in bed than he was.”

You’re picturing things you don’t want to visualize. You’re disgusted to hear that Elaine did something as shameful as letting this body be touched by this scum and to even do it when Jin caught them together. You can’t imagine what Jin’s reaction when catching his girlfriend with another man.

After walking backward enough, you end up hitting at the end of the wall, and the man corners you, pinning his hands to the wall to prevent you from escaping. This whole time, the man was playing around with you, but his face suddenly changed to a serious one.

“But then again, you were never kind, were you? After all, we were only fuck buddies,” he states bluntly.

You don’t want to believe what he’s saying. You feel your skin crawl just imagining this body touching his, and you can’t stop your tears from flowing.

“Stop it! I...I didn’t do those!”

“I had feelings for you, you know? When I said I wanted to be more than just sex friends, you rejected me. You were so cold-hearted, but look at you now—as fragile as a dandelion. And it makes me want to take over you.”

He pulls your chin up to kiss your lips once again, but you fight back by pushing him away. With a mixture of your thin body and shakiness, you aren’t strong to push him away completely. All you can do is cry while he tries to kiss you again.

But his entire body is twirled around by someone, and his face is met with a fist. The fist hits him directly on the nose, and he falls to the ground. His nose turns hot as he feels the sensation of blood pouring out of his nostrils.

“What the fuck?!” He looks up to see who punched him.

To his surprise, it’s Jin. His face is entirely red, nothing but anger is written all over his expression. He’s breathing heavily as if he ran all the way here. When the man recognizes Jin, he laughs as he stands up, which is the opposite reaction of what you expected it to be.

“Well, didn’t expect your boyfriend to show up!” He jesters. “So Jin, how does it feel to catch your girlfriend with another man for a second time?”

Your eyes widen, realizing the misunderstanding that you and the man created. You did something that Elaine did in the past, and now you’re afraid that you’re hurting him just like what Elaine did.

But instead of reacting, Jin points to the door. “Get out before I call the police.”

For a split second, the man stared into Jin’s eyes, and he could tell that Jin has the intention to murder him if he doesn’t leave. He’s surprised that Jin is still willing to protect his girlfriend, despite what she’s done before.

Not wanting to stir up any more trouble, the man shrugs his shoulders. “Heh, not my problem if you still want to stay with a slut. I can just get my jacket next time.”

Hearing the words ‘next time’ scares you, as he might possibly come back.

“Don’t you dare come back, or I’ll do more than what I just did right now.” Jin glares back at the man.

The man merely smirks, then he walks out the door. Jin locks the door behind him, then he runs to your aid, putting his hands on your arms.

“(Y/N), are you okay?! Did he hurt you anywhere?”

But you don’t give him a reply, as you’re shaken up by the ordeal. Your tears won’t stop flowing, thinking about how Jin must now hate you for repeating what Elaine has done.

“I’m sorry, Jin...I’m sorry.” You repeat.

You keeping saying that you’re sorry, and Jin tells you to stop, but you won’t listen. You must’ve been traumatized by the incident that you not willing to listen to him, so he hugs you as comfort.

“You didn’t do anything, so you don’t need to apologize.”

------

After a quick stop at the convenience store, you bought a first-aid kit. Jin punched the man hard that his fist bruised up and started bleeding. You don’t know the first thing about first aid, but Jin guides you along the way.

While tending to his wounds, you space out, thinking about what the man said. Suga did mention that Elaine broke Jin’s heart previously, but he never went into detail. Now you know why Rae and Jin are so persistent in avoiding the discussion; it’s a sensitive topic for Jin, and something you, someone who loves Jin, wouldn’t want to know.

“Jin...is it true...that Elaine slept with that guy?” You mumble out, too ashamed to look at him. “Is it true that with this body she...she…”

You can’t even bring yourself to say it. That night when you kissed Jin on the cheek with this lips that touched that man’s...It makes sense why Jin was so distant from you in the beginning, and why he didn’t behave like a typical boyfriend. He didn’t want to associate with a cheater.

Once again, your eyes are filled with tears, but this time, you aren’t crying because of self-pity, but a mixture of anger and sadness for Jin. You couldn’t believe out of the million of girls who Jin is in love with, Elaine is the lucky woman, and she takes it for granted. But you’re also angry with yourself that you let that man touch you like that and worst of all, let Jin see it again.

“I did exactly what she did…”

Jin caresses your cheek, raising it up to get a better look at your face. But you avoid eye contact.

“Yes...she did, but what she did in the past has nothing to do with you. So don’t blame yourself.”

“But I…!”

Jin shushes you. “To deny that you enjoyed that man’s touch is enough for me to forgive you.”

Jin recalls that night when it was his and Elaine’s first anniversary. He bought a bouquet for her as celebration and since he has the spare key to her apartment, he wanted to leave it on the coffee table as a surprise. However, he was the one left with a surprise when he saw his girlfriend and another man together. He remembers being in tears, while Elaine smoked a cigarette, telling him to grow up.

He was broken for days, learning that his first love never loved him. She only used him to get an easy pass into the modeling business. His members warned him about her, but his puppy love blinded him from seeing it. He didn’t want to accept the fact that his first girlfriend never cared for him. He wanted to live in a fairytale, and that fairytale turned out to be a nightmare. He had lost hope in ever finding another person to love.

But you changed that for him. He thought that since you were in the body of the person he hates the most, he’d feel indifferent, but you proved him wrong. You cared for him like any girlfriend should, even going lengths of getting in trouble just to see him. You were everything that Elaine was missing—everything he wanted. He was able to fall in love again, and he’s thankful to have met you. If only you were his first everything…not Elaine. Jin was going to confess to you, but seeing as you look bothered by the incident, he decides to save it for another day.

“You must still be shaken up by that guy. Will it be okay for me to stay over for the night?”

All that guilt in you dissipates when Jin asked that question. The thought of Jin spending the night under the same roof as you is outrageous. Never in your wildest dreams did you ever think that you and Jin would be sleeping in the same house.

Your cheeks turn red while various scenarios play in your head. “S-staying here…? I...I...sleep...s-so suddenly...night...here?”

Your pure reaction to this makes Jin chuckle. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll take the living room couch.”

You feel a bit disappointed, as you were slightly excited about him and you sleeping in the same bed, cuddly innocently of course. But you don’t want to rush things, and it’s already enough to know that Jin will be protecting you.

“Okay…”

------

The sun rises and the birds chirp outside. The day has started, but you didn’t sleep a wink. You kept thinking that Jin would come into the bedroom and sleep next to you, but he never did. That’s quite gentlemanly of him not to, but you were somewhat hoping for it. After all, you’re still Jin’s fangirl, and any girl would want to sleep next to their dream guy.

When you got out of bed, you received a text message from Jin early this morning saying that he had to go to work to help plan for the tour. He also mentions that he’ll be busy all day, so he won’t have time to visit you until night. You’re sad that you didn’t get to see him off and wish him to have a good day.

You walk to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for yourself, even though you know that your usual breakfast will be cabbage soup and boiled tofu again. You miss the mornings filled with delicious meals that your mother cooked for you. That also reminds you that you wanted to cook something for Jin, but you don’t know that many dishes either. You wish that you paid attention to your mother when she taught you how to cook.

While heating up the soup, you hear the doorbell ring. At first, you thought that the man returned to finish off what he started, so you’re cautious about opening. However, the doorbell is then followed by loud banging, then excessive pressing on the doorbell. Whoever is behind your door, they must have zero patience.

“I KNOW YOU’RE FUCKING IN THERE. HURRY UP AND OPEN THE DOOR OR I’LL KICK IT OPEN.” the person on the other side shouts.

Your attention is immediately caught by the voice. The voice sounds all too familiar. It sounds like...your voice?? You rush to the door and open it, and it feels like you’re staring at a mirror. The person standing in front of you is...you.

You (the other person), stares at you with repulse. “Oh my god...what the hell did you do to my body?!”

“‘M-my body’…?” It finally clicks who this person is. “E-Elaine??”

“Who the fuck else?”

------

You and Elaine sit across from each other, this situation being as unusual as it can get. You’re sitting across from your body, though a bit thinner than previously. In front of you is the woman that everyone has been talking about, and to finally meet her feels strange. She’s smoking a cigarette, not making you feel comfortable seeing her smoking with your body.

“Uhm...can you not smoke with my body?” You ask politely.

“Why? You got to do whatever you wanted with my body. You made me gain weight, but I’m not asking you to lose it all right now, am I?” She replies with such horrid attitude.

You feel a nerve pop, but you try to remain cool.

“H-how did you find your way here?”

“Look, I’m not here to make small talk. I wanna go back to my body, and you most likely want to go back to yours, so let’s just get this over with.”

Elaine looks through the backpack she brought—your backpack you haven’t seen in so long. She takes out a navy blue book, and the title is written in a foreign language. She flips to a page that she kept bookmarked and reads it carefully.

Everything is moving too fast. Your brain still can’t process that Elaine came through the door with your body, and all of a sudden, she has a plan to switch bodies. This is too much to take in.

You stand up, shaking your head in confusion. “Whoa, slow down! What the hell are you talking about?? Can we at least talk before you do anything??”

Elaine rolls her eyes and groans as she slams the book shut. “Ugh, fine. What do you want to talk about, princess?”

You feel another nerve pop. “How did you find your way here?? I mean, I live miles away from here.”

“Plane ticket and a lot of money saving.”

“What’s with the book??”

“It has the spell to revert us back to our original bodies.”

“Spell?!”

“It’s some Shaman shit. It took me a shit ton of time to learn whatever this language is.”

“Do you know how we switched bodies in the first place??”

“Dunno. Didn’t want to waste my time researching about something that won’t get me back to my body. Look, are you done with your questions? I didn’t come here to be interviewed.”

You’re starting to understand why Suga hates her so much. You’re very close to strangling her, and it hasn’t even been five minutes.

“No, I’m not done! I still have a lot of questions, and you’re going answer all of them!”

Elaine groans again, rolling her eyes. The urge to slap her is very strong, but you don’t want to harm her. Harming her means that you’re also damaging your body.

“Damn, I was hoping you weren’t the talkative type. If Jin didn’t fucking ignore my texts, then I would be back in my body. Alright, if it gets you to hurry up and shut up, then give me your questions.”

Hearing her saying Jin’s name reminds you about what she’s done in the past. You remember the multiple times you saw that sad expression on his face. Because of her, Jin wasn’t the same bubbly person he is on screen.

“...How could you treat Jin like that?”

Elaine inhales a large puff of smoke, then breathes it out. “I had a feeling you’d bring that up, I’m not surprised though. Judging by the millions of photos and posters you have of Jin in your bedroom, you were bound to ask that. If you couldn’t already tell, I’m a bitch, and I do whatever it takes to get what I want. That also means playing with Jin’s feelings. He’s a sweet guy, but he’s a pushover. He’d do anything for me, and that’s what makes him easy.”

Just hearing how straightforward she is with her words makes you want to hit her, but for the very least, she’s being honest.

“I had a feeling that you wouldn’t answer my texts or calls, so I didn’t bother contacting you. I contacted Jin instead.”

You didn’t expect her to message Jin, and he didn’t tell you at all. You have to admit, so far, Elaine seems like a very intelligent woman, but just a pain in the ass.

“I thought he would help me in an instant, but suddenly, he stopped messaging me. For a sec, I thought that I wasn’t going to return to my body. He disobeyed me for the first time, and I knew it had something to do with you.”

“Me?” You look away. “I didn’t do anything special.”

“Shut the fuck up and don’t be so modest. You did something to make Jin not want me to come back,” she takes in another inhale of her cigarette. “And to be honest...it annoys the hell out of me that some other woman can make him leave me.”

Elaine acted so confident all this time, but this is the first time she’s showing weakness. It could be either because she’s so used to having control over Jin or...she might’ve actually liked him at some point. To hear that from his girlfriend that you changed him makes you not want to leave Jin. You mentally prepared yourself to say farewell to him on concert day, but this is too early. It just hit you that once you return to your body, you may possibly ever speak to him again.

But somewhere in the back of your head, you knew that. You knew since the beginning that you were never meant to be by Jin’s side. Jin is too good for you, and he deserves someone who can give him what he needs, not rely on him. You knew all of this, and yet it’s hard to swallow the thought that you’re leaving him.

“That’s all I wanted to ask actually...But before we switch bodies….can you do me one favor?”

“Ugh, if you want me to stay away from Jin then I will-”

“Take care of Jin, and let him know every day that you love him.”

Elaine wasn’t expecting you to request that. By this point, you should’ve learned everything that Elaine’s done. Any normal person would tell anyone to stay away from the person they love, especially someone as dedicated to Jin as you.

“Don’t make the same mistake you did in the past. After all, you’re his first love, and I know how hard it is to forget about them.” You say, feeling your throat start to choke up.

You can’t forget that look on his face when he talked about his past with Elaine. Maybe not now, but back then he did truly love Elaine, and you don’t want to take that away from him. If you want to be selfish, then at least you can tell yourself that you might’ve been able to help Jin fall in love with Elaine again.

Seeing how soft you’ve become, Elaine is starting to feel a bit guilty for rushing this. “...Don’t you want to say bye to Jin or something?”

You shake your head. “No, it’ll just make me want to stay longer. Just make sure you don’t break my promise.”

“...Alright then.”

------

Elaine ties a red string around your left wrist, then she ties one around hers. While doing all of this, she chants something in an unfamiliar language. You want to ask her what language she’s speaking in, but you don’t want to break her train of thought.

For someone who seems reckless, she’s very meticulous. You wonder how much planning she did before coming here. It makes you feel a little embarrassed because your plan wasn’t as detailed as hers. Plus you were somewhat prolonging your stay, mainly because you wanted to be with Jin for a while longer.

Once she’s done, she takes a step away from you. “Alright, give me a piece of my body.”

“A piece of your…?!”

Elaine rolls her eyes. “Yea, chop off my finger and give it to me, wouldja?” She says sarcastically. “Give me like a fingernail or hair strand you idiot.”

You wish you can tell her that she didn’t have to say it like that, but this is not the time to start an argument. You pull a strand of Elaine’s golden locks and gives it to her. In return, she gives you a piece of your hair and gives it to you. You take your strand of hair, but you stare at it curiously, unsure of what to do with it.

“Tie it around the red string I just gave you. It’s to help link you back to your physical body.”

You do as Elaine says, and though you were having difficulties, you were able to tie it around your wrist. Elaine chants one more thing before taking out a medicinal bottle from the backpack.

“What is that for?”

“Sleeping pills. The ritual isn’t complete until we’re unconscious and our spirits or whatever returns to our bodies. I don’t have the patience to wait until tonight, so we’re going to knock ourselves out with these.”

“What?! So soon!”

Elaine slumps her shoulders. “Are you backing out now?”

You just weren’t expecting Elaine to turn to pills. Knowing her past with drugs and alcohol, you didn’t trust her. Then again, Elaine does sound like she knows what she’s doing.

“No...let’s do this.”

Elaine gives you two pills and a glass of water. You watch her eat two pills and drink a cup of water, then you follow. Once you two completed that, she grabs a blanket and lays on the couch. You grab your own blanket and sits on the chair. All you two can do now is wait for the pill to kick in.

“How are my parents doing?” You ask since you two have some time to spare.

“...They’re doing fine. Despite me being bitchy to them, they still took care of me.”

You remember that Elaine doesn’t have her parents’ contacts saved on her phone. During this whole ordeal, not once has her parents ever contacted you through her phone. So you can only conclude that her relationship with her parents is not a healthy one.

“How’s Rae? Is she still as fussy as ever about work?”

“Definitely.”

Despite literally meeting her minutes ago, it feels like through her body, you got to learn a lot about her, and she must’ve learned a lot about you as well. You know what Elaine has done to Jin, but you can’t bring yourself to hate her completely.

But you still wonder about why she did that. How could she treat Jin like that? Is it really because he’s too nice?

“...Why did you cheat on Jin?”

Elaine doesn’t make a quit response. She takes the time to think about it. “I already told you, I’m a bitch who does whatever she can to get what she wants.”

“So you never loved Jin?”

“Would I have said yes if I didn’t? Of course I loved him, and I still do. Though, I’m pretty sure you learned about my personality disorder. I guess you can say that a part of me likes the idea of using Jin, and another part of me loves him. It’s...a constant war against myself.”

Your heart aches, knowing that Elaine still loves Jin, that Elaine and Jin can still have a happy ending. But at the same time, you’re relieved that Jin’s fears of Elaine never loving him is only all in his head.

“As you can tell, I have moments like earlier where I’m just the most unpleasant person you’ll ever meet, and there are times when I’m calm like this.”

“Really? I didn’t notice you changed personalities just now.”

“Yea, movies do a horrible job at portraying my illness. There’s no dramatic pauses or suspenseful music when there’s a personality change. It just happens at the most random times.”

Now you can see why Jin fell in love with her, or at least with her gentle side. Elaine’s now much nicer compared to the one from earlier.

“...That might be the reason why Jin fell out of love with me, hates me even. I’m just too difficult to handle. Some moments I become rampant, and other times I’m like this. The other me is...despicable. I love him, but at the same time I don’t.”

You’re starting to feel the medicine kick in. Whatever Elaine gave you, it’s very strong. Elaine must be falling asleep as well, since her words at the end are slurring.

“...I never deserved Jin...He definitely deserves someone better me.” Elaine mumbles.

“Funny, I think the same thing too…” Your eyelids start to become heavy.

Elaine chuckles weakly. “I guess we both don’t deserve Jin…but I think you’re definitely…”

But she falls asleep before she finishes her sentence. There’s more you want to talk about with Elaine, but you’re getting too tired to move your mouth. And the next thing you know, you fall asleep.

------

You sit up straight, frantically touching yourself to see if the plan worked. You pull the blanket off of you, running to the closest mirror as fast as you can. When you look into the mirror, you see...your own reflection! You touch your face, making sure that you aren’t dreaming. Your skin feels real, and you heave out a single laugh, glad that the plan was a success.

You run to Elaine, who’s still asleep. You shake her shoulders to wake her up. “Elaine! Wake up!”

Elaine groans, raising her head up, but not opening her eyes. “What the fuck…? Stop touching me.”

“Elaine, it worked!!”

“What…?”

Elaine looks at her hands, and when she sees her own hands, she quickly gets up from the chair, running to the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. Elaine screams in excitement, happy to be back in her body. She runs to you, hugging you tightly.

“Oh my fucking god, I missed this body.”

You both laugh, just too happy to be able to return to your original bodies. You almost went insane, thinking that you’d never see the day. But that leaves another problem. You’re still here, and you don’t know how to get back home.

“Wait, Elaine...how do I return home?”

“Don’t worry about that. I bought another plane ticket back to your place in case this plan fails. I can give you the ticket right now.”

Elaine looks through your backpack and shows you the ticket. You can’t believe that Elaine even thought this far, and you have to commend her for that.

“Oh yea just to let you know, I snuck out during the middle of the night, so you oughta wanna go back home night before your parents file a missing person’s report or something.” Elaine sticks her tongue out teasingly.

Even until the very end, Elaine is still a troublemaker, but you can’t bring yourself to get mad when you’re back to the way you are. You check the backpack that Elaine brought, and it has your phone, wallet, spare clothes, and extra cash. You head to the door, but then you stop.

You never got the chance to say goodbye to  Jin. Once you walk out of that door, there’s no going back. You won’t see Jin ever again, and he probably won’t even know that you left.

“...Hey Elaine.”

“Wassup?”

“Make sure that Jin doesn’t overwork himself. He has a habit of doing that.”

Elaine can sense your unwillingness to return home, but you both know that this is how it should be. “Yea, I’ll be on his ass for that.”

You look at Elaine once more, smiling. You’ll be leaving this place, this apartment that you’ve spent almost an entire month in. You wave goodbye, walking out of the door once and for all. You give the apartment one more glance before closing it shut.

The deed is done, and you’re finally back to your original body. But...after that wave of excitement and glory...you’re now hit with a wave of grief. Your chest feels heavy...It may be because you never got the chance to thank Rae for everything she’s done for you, or that you never got to know the members of BTS as well as you wanted to. Or it could be that you never got the chance to say goodbye to Jin.

Before you know it, you’re crying. You cover your eyes, trying to stop the tears from coming out. You knew this day had to come, and yet it hurts more than you can ever imagine. You wish you can spend more time with Jin, just enough time to tell him that you love him.

------

At the airport, you sit alone as you stare at the plane ticket Elaine gave you. Since it’s late at night, there’s not a lot of people. Just like when you first woke up in Elaine’s body, what you went through feels all too surreal. It feels like a single dream that you just met Jin. It’s almost time for your plane to depart, and this’ll be the last time you’ll be here.

“Yes Mom, sorry for running away so suddenly. I’ll get back home as soon as I can.”

You’ve been on your phone with your mother for a couple of hours. When you called her, she was frantic, worried that something might’ve happened to you. Even though she was yelling at you, you were too happy to hear her voice again; you even missed her scolding you.

“Geez, why did you run out like that? You know you haven’t recovered yet from the accident. We all thought you went to Seoul because this whole time, you kept demanding over and over again to take you there.”

Unbeknownst to your mother, Elaine really did run away to Seoul, but she doesn’t know. You think it’s better that she doesn’t know or else she’ll freak out even more.

“Sorry I was such a demon this past month, Mom…”

As much as you missed your mother’s nagging, the only reason why she’s lecturing you in the first place is all Elaine’s doing. You feel a little annoyed that you’re the one who has to deal with her mess, but still glad to hear your mother regardless.

“It’s fine. I think anyone would be as stressed as you were after getting in an accident. If that skanky woman’s company wasn’t so willing to pay for your hospital bills, then we would’ve been in some deep financial trouble.”

You chuckle soullessly. “Yea...this month has been a wild ride…”

“Well anyway, come back home safely. We’re all worried about you, okay?”

“Okay.”

Your mother tells you that she loves you, then you repeat her sentence. You hang up, sighing as your mother’s lecturing has finally come to an end. You question if your parents are going to welcome you back with open arms. You have no idea what Elaine has done with your body, but you do hope that she didn’t do anything you would never do.

As you think about Elaine, your mind drifts to Jin. You wonder how he’s doing and if he noticed anything different about Elaine. You want to know if Elaine even told him that you returned to your body. But no matter how much you think about him, it only hurts more. You tell yourself to stop thinking him and try to focus on getting back to your old life.

But out of nowhere, you hear someone shouting from a distance. “HEY BITCH!!!”

When you look up, you see someone pacing towards you. You’re surprised to that it’s Elaine, and she looks pissed off. You’re worried if you did something to make her upset, so you’re ready for Elaine to curse you out once she gets to you.

“Holy fucking geez, have you ever heard of checking your phone?! I was calling you like ten million times! Learn how to fucking live in the 21th-century and use your goddamn phone, you retard!” Judging by her unfiltered words, she must’ve returned to her angry personality.

“...Sorry. I was on the phone with my mom, so I silenced it.”

“Because of you, I fucking wasted my time running everywhere with that asswipe.”

Your head perks up when you hear that Elaine came with someone else.

Elaine takes out her phone and dials someone’s number. She puts her phone to her ear, tapping her feet and hand to waist. After a few seconds, the person on the other line picks up.

“Yea, just take your fucking sweet time picking up my call, wouldja?! Anyway, I found that bitch you’ve been looking for. Oh, well sorry, (Y/N) I mean.” Elaine rolls her eyes. “Just hurry the fuck up. I’m by terminal 16.”

Elaine hangs up just like that. You have no idea what’s going on.

“Uhm...what’s going on?”

“Shut up and just sit down. This dumbass can’t even recognize your face, so he fucking forced me to look for you since apparently I’m the only one who knows how you really look like.”

And in an instance, you know who she’s talking about. The person who came with her is Jin. Immediately, you want to run away, not wanting Jin to see you. You’re worried that Jin will think you look ugly in your original body.

You try to escape, but Elaine grabs you by the wrist. “Oh hell no. You stay right fucking here. I’m not letting you go after I went through the trouble of wasting my time on you.”

“Let me go!”

For someone who has a thin wrist, Elaine has a strong grip. It might also be because you made her gain weight and made you lose weight. You panic, not wanting to see Jin right now. You’re scared about what he’ll think of you when he sees how you really look like. But you’re also scared that if you see him, you won’t want to go back.

And just like that, you see Jin from far away. Your heart skips a beat just seeing him again, but you quickly look away, hoping that he didn’t notice you. But you forgot how Elaine makes her appearance demanding, so she waves her hand at Jin.

“HEY BASTARD, OVER HERE.” She shouts.

Jin turns, and he sees Elaine, holding your wrist. Your heart pounds harder, unable to bear looking up. Jin runs to you and Elaine, but more specifically, to you. He keeps on running and running until he gets close to you.

Once he’s close enough, Elaine lets go of you so you two can have some time alone. Jin is too alleviated to see you again that he runs into you, nearly making you fall backwards, but his arms catches you. He hugs you tightly, just simply happy to be able to hold you one more time.

“(Y/N), I thought I wouldn’t make it in time.”

Jin raises your chin and kisses you on the lips, catching you by surprise. He’s been wanting to kiss you for a long time, but it feels even better that he gets to kiss you when you’re in your body.

Seeing how romantic you and Jin have become, Elaine sticks her tongue out in grotesque. “Get a room, you losers. I’m going to wait in the car.”

Elaine leaves you two to yourselves. You push Jin away gently to give each other space. Your face is red, unable to believe that Jin just kissed you then.

“Jin...how…?” Jin’s kiss made you lose the ability to think straight.

“Elaine told me everything, and I wanted to get the chance to see you before you go off.”

“B-but...aren’t you disappointed…? I’m not a model like Elaine...I look like a slob…”

Jin chuckles as he caresses both of your cheeks. “You’re more beautiful than I can ever imagine.”

Jin presses his forehead on your forehead. He wanted to hold you all this time, but it didn’t feel right holding you while you were in Elaine’s body. Now that he got the opportunity, he doesn’t want to let you go.

“I knew that if I didn’t see you one last time, I’d regret not telling you something important.”

“What is it?”

“(Y/N), I love you, and it isn’t because you were in Elaine’s body. All I wanted was for someone to care about me, and you did. So how could I have not fallen for someone as precious as you?”

Hearing him compliment you makes your face even redder. Jin refrained from using lame romantic lines up until now, but hearing it makes you nervous. It’s hard to believe that Jin’s saying that to you. After years of supporting him from afar...he finally has reciprocated your feelings back to you.

Airline XX will be departing soon. Please head to your terminal to avoid delay.

You hear the overhead saying the name of the airplane you’re supposed to get on. You feel disheartened that you have to leave right after Jin found you.

“...I have to go…” As much as you don’t want to, you must. “...But I don’t want to go. I’m scared I won’t see you again.”

Jin gives you the smile you’ve grown to adore. “...Elaine told me that you have a concert ticket, right? We’ll see each other again. And if you manage to switch back to Elaine’s body again, you have another ticket waiting for you with Ms Rae. Who knows...maybe the next time I see you, I’ll sweep you off your feet and make sure I don’t lose sight of you again.” Jin jesters, but he’s mostly serious.

You finally manage to laugh, thrilled to know that tonight won’t be the end of your journey with Jin. Perhaps you might have a happy ending with him after all.

“I’ll be waiting for that day.”

The overhead repeats your airplane is about to depart, so you grab your backpack and head to the terminal. As you walk, you turn around to see Jin, waving goodbye.

“Jin?”

“Yea?”

“...Don’t strain yourself. If I find out that you are, then you’ll get a mouthful from me at the concert.”

Jin smiles, tilting his head to the side. “I won’t. I promise.”

“And Jin?”

“Yes?”

You give Jin a soft, gentle smile. “...I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

The End

A/N: Thank you for those who read this until the end! If you have any criticisms you want to share with me, positive or negative, then don’t be afraid to message me!

Masterlist

[sidehowriting]

Vacation

Masterlist in bio!

A/N: So this fic is kinda late because 1) school work and 2) who I am as a person. Nonetheless, I actually managed to finish it and it is for @delicatelyherdreams 1k Writing Challenge! 

Italics is text communication 

Prompt: Yes, its a questionable line of work, but I’m good at it. 

Pairings: Steve x Reader

Summary: Steve’s on vacation for his birthday and you go with. 

Word Count: 5.7k

Warnings:  Fluff, very light angst in the beginning, swears, talk of sex

Friday

The place was enormous. The kitchen and living room large enough to encompass your whole apartment. Not to mention each bedroom could easily fit three king sized beds. The bathroom held their own supersized jacuzzi tubs. With a vacation home like this you could only imagine what Tony Stark’s personal home was like.  

You chose the bedroom with the best view. The wide window gave you the perfect mountain landscape. It was breathtaking. You hoped this would be okay with your guest. He’d either have to share the room with you or settle for one without a mountain backdrop.

After most of your things were unpacked, you went back to the kitchen. It was only mid afternoon but, but you were on vacation (kind of) so a mixed drink now wouldn’t hurt. With a glass of Sex on the Beach in one hand, you strode over to the couch, sinking into the squishy cushions. Might as well get comfortable while you wait.

You were scrolling through the million and one channels when the front door opened. You peaked over the couch and saw Captain America walk in, luggage bags in hand. He set them down and stretched out his back, his muscles straining against his shirt.

“Hi,” you said, sitting up on your knees to push yourself up and into view.

He froze, his eyes catching yours. “Hi…” he said with uncertainty. His body was tense, almost like he was preparing to fight. “What are you doing here?”

“Here for a weekend getaway,” you replied, taking a sip of your drink. “Same as you.”

“I didn’t know there would be company,” he replied, still on edge.

“It’s okay,” you said, raising your hands to show you weren’t a threat. “Tony Stark sent me.”

“Stark? Why would he do that?”

Setting your half-finished drink on the coffee table, you went back over to the kitchen. You set your phone on the counter when you were making your beverage and just left it there. Once you grabbed it you pulled up your email to show Steve the exchange between you and Tony.

“Here,” you said, walking over to him. “This is why.” You handed him your phone, so he could see for himself.

Hey Y/N,

This is Tony Stark. You probably figured that out from the email address. I hope its not too weird that I’m reaching out to you. We’ve met a few times at some of my parties. The guys you’ve been with there have sworn that you’re the best there is.

Anyways, I’m reaching out to you because I was hoping I could acquire your service. You see, my dear friend Captain America is approaching his 100th birthday. And, quite frankly, it’s embarrassing for me to be friends with someone who’s pushing 100 and a virgin. So, I would like to send you on a little weekend getaway with Cap. All expense paid. Nice secluded cabin in the mountains. Cap won’t be in on it, though. It’ll be our little secret, so he can’t say no.

Hit me back and we can work out the details.

Tony

Steve finished reading the email and groaned, his face turning several shades of red. “I can’t believe this.”  He handed the phone back to you.

“Surprise,” you said weakly. “Happy birthday.”

“I’m sorry you came all the way out here,” he began, “but your services won’t be required this weekend. It’s a firm no from me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you said. “I’m not offended.”

“Do you need help with you bags?”

You shook your head. “I got here about an hour ago. Most of my things are unpacked.”

“Do you need help gathering your bags?”

You stared up at him for a moment. “I’m not leaving, Steve.”

“Your services aren’t going to be needed by me. There’s no reason for you to stay.”

“And exactly where am I go to?” You asked, placing your hands on your hips. “We’re in the middle of the nowhere with no way back until Sunday.”

“I’ll call Stark,” Steve offered.

“You know he’s not gonna do anything. He’s the one who hired me. This place is huge, there’s plenty of room for both of us to be here and not interact. I promise to leave you alone.” He still didn’t seem to like the arrangement.

You rolled your eyes, going back to the coffee table and grabbing your drink. “Watch,” you said, “There’s a bedroom over there that can be all yours. I’ll go hide out in mine the whole time, okay?” You started over to the room you claimed as yours. “You’ll only see me when I’m hungry, okay?” Before he could say anything, you had walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind you.

For the next several hours you stayed put. You took a relaxing nap, had a nice soak in the tub, and were able to squeeze in some reading as well. As the time ticked on, you grew hungry. You wanted to go to the kitchen and make something to eat, but you were worried that Steve would have something to say about it.

You pushed the worry to the back of your mind and charged forward, leaving the comfort of your room. Once you were out in the open, you were pleased to see that Steve wasn’t around. He had probably retreated to his own room. This gave you the perfect opportunity to mess around in the kitchen and see what delicious food Tony Stark had stocked in one of his vacation homes.

There was a nice selection available, enough to make a baked pasta and vegetables. You hummed to yourself as you gathered the food material. You got enough to make for yourself and Steve if he wanted. If not, you would have some food for tomorrow.

Humming to yourself again, you were about halfway through cooking when Steve showed up. His eyes were hazy, and his hair was sticking up at odd ends. “Hi,” you said with a smile, greeting your kitchen guest. “Did you nap?”

He plopped down at the kitchen table. “That obvious?” Rubbing his hands over his face he said, “the smell of whatever you’re cooking woke me.”

“I will take that as a compliment.” You smiled proudly, keeping an eye on your food.

A silence fell between the two of you as you continued to cook. You could feel his eyes on you and every once in awhile you’d look over and see him watching you. It was a little bit unnerving. “Is there something on your mind?” You asked him, getting annoyed with just his staring.

“I just…didn’t think you could cook.”

“Because I’m an escort? Yes, that’s my job but its not my whole identity.”

You stared at him with hard eyes and you could see him blush. “I’m sorry,” he said, “that was wrong of me to assume.”

“Apology accepted.” You went back to the food, putting the finishing touches on it. Grabbing a couple of plates, you filled them both up with your creation and brought it to the kitchen table. You placed the one plate in front of Steve and placed your own portion down where you were planning on sitting.

“I’ll grab some silver wear,” he said, pushing himself up from the table. You smiled and sat down. A few seconds later, a fork and knife were placed in front of you. You didn’t wait and took a bite of your food, extremely happy with how the flavor turned out.

You watched Steve take a bite and was pleased when he said, “This is really good. Thank you for cooking.”

“Of course,” you said, continuing to eat. “I’ve had to do a lot of cooking. I’m feeding two teenage boys at home.”

“You have children?”

You shook your head. “Younger brothers. A seventeen and eighteen-year-old.”

“Ah.”

You cocked your head, giving him the look you would give one of your brothers when they were giving you an attitude. “Because I’m an escort I can’t have siblings?”

“No, no, I didn’t mean that.”

“What did you mean?”

He shook his head, keeping his eyes cast down. “I don’t know,” he said, and you could feel the guilt coming off of him. “This whole situation… I just didn’t expect any of this when Tony convinced me to spend my birthday weekend relaxing.”

You did feel bad for him. He had just wanted to come and get away for the weekend alone. You felt like you had ruined that for him. Well, really, Tony did, but you had agreed to come along too. You didn’t really expect that you’d sleep with him. Any man who would wait that long would obviously not be into a hook up of sorts. Well, not all hundred years were by choice, but the point remains.

Another silence fell between the two of you as you ate. The only sounds to be heard were the light scrape of utensils against the plates and chewing. It felt awkward. You were a professional, though. You knew how to break those silences.

“You know,” you began, “back in high school when we were learning about World War II, we took a field trip to the museum. I remember seeing your exhibit for the first time. I thought it was really cool and I admired how you just sacrificed yourself for the greater good.”

Steve eyes were focused on yours as you talked, taking in your words. He nodded along with you, a shy blush coming up as you praised him. You found it very sweet. “Thanks,” he said, averting his eyes from you. “I just did what had to be done.”

“Still,” you said, “I know there’s a lot of people out there who wouldn’t have made the same sacrifice as you did. You’re a noble man, Steve.”

He continued to blush and brush off your compliments, only proving your point further.

When dinner was done, you stood up, piling the dirty dishes all together. “I got this,” Steve said, rising as well and grabbing your arm. “You made dinner. The least I can do is clean up.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I got it.”

“Thank you.” You smiled, setting down the utensils you had gathered in your hand. “I appreciate that. I’ll just go back to my room then. Have a good night, Steve.”

You walked away from the kitchen and to your room before he could respond.

Saturday

He woke up early as per usual. Even on vacation, he couldn’t sleep in. The kitchen was empty when he entered it to look for food. It made sense. It was just after sunrise. Any normal person would still be sleeping.

After snacking he decided to go for a run. He briefly got to take in the scenery when he first arrived. He remembered the mountains in the background, the trees flushed green. He wanted to get to experience that close up. It was his birthday weekend after all.

His run was just as beautiful as he thought it would be. Looking at nature from the window of a car did not give it justice. The location of this vacation home was stunning and even though the situation wasn’t what he was led to believe, he was happy to be here. If for nothing else than to enjoy a run within this atmosphere.

It was well over an hour before he got back. He was thirsty, and hot, and hungry. Going at more of a leisurely pace, he entered the home. He kicked his running shoes off, taking his socks off as well and stuffing them inside. Next, he peeled off his shirt, the fabric sticking to him uncomfortably. He tossed his possessions to the side, making a mental note to grab them later. First, he wanted to go to the kitchen and get some food.

This time, she was there. She sat at the kitchen table, a laptop propped open in front of her. Four or five books and notebooks littered the rest of the table. Her hair was pulled into a bun on top of her head, messy hairs falling on all sides. She looked up from the computer when he walked in.

“Hey. I didn’t know you were up.” Her smile was soft and lazy, clearly, she was still tired. He noticed her eyes flicker to his bare chest and then back up to his where they stayed fixated.

“Yeah,” he said, going to the fridge and getting himself some water. “I woke up and went for a run. When did you get up?”

She looked back at the computer before answering. “About twenty minutes ago. I thought you were still sleeping so I kind of took over the kitchen. I’m sorry. I can move.”

He shook his head. “No, you’re fine.” He glanced at the open books. “What are you working on?”

“School paper.”

“You’re in school?” She gave him the same look she did last night when he questioned that she could cook. A look of high annoyance. “I don’t mean it like that,” he tried to defend himself.

Turning her attention back to her paper, her eyes now looking hard at her screen. “Yes, I’m in school.”

“What are you studying?”

“Nursing?”

“Yes. Nursing.” She glanced at him, glaring. “Does that surprise you?”

“No, I… I just don’t know many escort nurses?” He was doing a terrible job of not coming off as an asshole.

Thankfully, the comment made her smile. “I don’t know many either.” A little beeping filled his ears and he saw her head snap to the coffee machine. “Would you like some coffee, Steve?”

She stood up, and he realized that she was still dressed for bed. Her oversized shirt flowed over her body, stopping just below her butt. She wasn’t wearing pants and he couldn’t help but take in her curvature of her legs and how soft they looked. She reached up to grab a mug, her shirt riding up, exposing the bottom of her ass. He felt the heat climbing up his neck and onto his face when he realized he was staring. Awkwardly, he looked away.

She poured two cups and handed him one. He took it and thanked her, taking a big drink. The heat from the coffee mixing with the heat from his embarrassment.

With her own cup in hand, she sat back down and picked up the notebook closest to her. She sipped her coffee as she read over what looked like hand-written notes, occasionally highlighting. “Would you like some breakfast?” She peaked up from her paper, catching his eyes. “I can cook something.”

He did want food. But he couldn’t help the beginning stages of arousal he was feeling with her here wearing minimal clothing. No, a cold shower would do him good.

He finished his coffee and politely declined. Quickly, he went to his bathroom, making sure to grab his discarded clothing first. As he washed away the sweat from his run, he tried to get the image of her curves out of his head.

She was beautiful, he couldn’t deny that. It made sense that she was an escort. She had the body for it. He was physically attracted to her. That was normal though, right? A beautiful woman, scantily clad, obviously he would feel some type of way. But he was a gentleman. He wasn’t about to take advantage of her. He didn’t know anything about her after all. Sleeping with just anyone wasn’t his style. Especially for a first time.

He felt better once he was clean. After putting on fresh clothes, he decided to go another round in the kitchen. This time he knew what he was getting himself into.

When he entered, he was surprised to find that she was gone. The kitchen table was empty of her computer and books. Instead, there sat a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. A note was sitting next to it:

Thought you could use some breakfast anyways

He smiled and grabbed himself another cup of coffee before sitting down and eating. It was just as good as the dinner she made last night.

He ate quietly, a bit upset that she left. Guilt panged inside of him at the thought that she banished herself to her room to keep away from him. He was grateful that she was giving him space, but he didn’t want to totally chase her away.

After he finished, he cleaned up the kitchen a bit. It wasn’t that bad considering he gave it a once over last night after she retired.

He spent the remainder of the morning in his room. He squeezed in a brief nap, read a newspaper, played around on his phone, and watched some menial television. He was wanting a nice birthday weekend alone where he could do nothing but relax. Except now he realized relaxing gets boring after a couple of hours.

As he was flipping through the TV channels endlessly, his phone lit up.

Tony: So, how’s the weekend going Cap? 😉

Steve rolled his eyes, still upset that his friend had set him up like this.

Steve: It’s going

Tony: Aaaannnnddd

Steve: And nothing.

Tony: Did you get a chance to enjoy the surprise from me?

Steve: Define enjoy

Tony: Cmon Cap, melt a little. I’m sure she’d appreciate it.

As much as he hated to admit it, Tony might have a point. Steve was being frigid towards her. He remembered her praise of him at dinner last night. She seemed to think very highly of him. He didn’t want her to walk away being let down. He should talk to her more. Maybe watch some TV together.

Steve: I think you’re right Tony

Tony: Atta boy!

Rolling his eyes again, he put his phone in his pocket and left the confines of his bedroom. He strode across the vacation home, confidence fading as he got closer to her bedroom door. What if she didn’t want to see him? What if she just wanted to hide away for the rest of the weekend? Well, at least he could say he tried. The worst thing that could happen was her turning him down. It wouldn’t be the first time a woman told him no.

Knocking softly, he called through the wooden door, “Hey, Y/N? You in there?” He heard nothing but silence. “Y/N?” He tried again, talking louder.

Would it be rude to open her door? He didn’t want to bother her if she was doing something important. Or maybe she was napping. He didn’t want to wake her up. What if she was doing something…related to her job? He definitely didn’t want to walk in on that.

Once more he knocked on her door and called for her, much louder this time. If she was inside, surely, she would hear it. When he was still greeted with silence, he gently grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. Her room was empty, the door to the adjoining bathroom open showing that room to be empty too. She was gone.

Cautiously, he stepped inside. Her room was like his. Same size. Same shape. But he noticed her room looked out over the mountains while he just had a forest to look at. He had a feeling she picked that on purpose.

“Steve?” Her voice caught him off guard, startling him.

She was standing behind him, head cocked, eyeing him curiously. She had a yoga mat wrapped up and tucked under her arm. Her hair sat in a high ponytail. No hair out of place unlike the bun she wore in the morning. Her black sports bra and leggings were formfitting, really showing off her figure.

“Hey,” he said awkwardly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude.”

She just continued to look at him, forehead, chest, and stomach glistening with sweat.

“I was wanting to talk to you and when I didn’t hear anything…”

“You just decided to walk in?”

Embarrassed he nodded. “Yeah, sorry.”

To his relief she smiled and giggled. “It’s okay. I found this mat in the closet yesterday and decided that today would be a good time to do some yoga. It’s so pretty outside.” She walked around him and into her room, dropping the mat on the ground. “So, what can I do for you?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out? Watch some TV or something?”

“Oh,” she sounded surprised.

“If you don’t want to, I understand. It’s just, being alone is kind of boring.”

Her smile made him feel warm inside. “I’d love to, Steve. Just let me shower and all that. I’ll meet you in the living room, okay?”

He happily agreed and closed the door as he left the room. He knew how a workout can make a person hungry, so he decided to prepare her some lunch. After all, she had cooked for him twice so far.

His culinary skills weren’t at the same level as hers. The best he could muster were some sandwiches. It was the thought that counts, right?

Twenty minutes later she was walking out of her room. The smell of lavender and blueberries filled the air and followed her. He had to admit he really liked the scent.

“You cooked!?”

“I tried,” he said, passing her a plate with the simple sandwich on it. She took it graciously, thanking him profusely. It made him feel good.

Together, they went to the living room, sandwiches in hand. He let her pick what to watch, figuring she knew good modern shows better than he did. They ate and watched in silence. It was pleasant though. He felt at ease next to her, just enjoying being with someone.

That’s how they continued the evening, causally watching TV, him occasionally asking questions to references he didn’t understand. She always spoke kindly, explaining things as many times and as many different ways as he needed.

He was really enjoying her company and how easy it was to talk to her. Her smile was bright, and her eyes were always shining. He felt at ease.

She insisted on making dinner again, only accepting his offer to help after he insisted. She put him in charge of stirring pots and putting pans in the oven. She said she was always nervous she would burn herself no matter how many times she cooked. He found it endearing.

After the meal was cooked, served, and eaten, they went back to the big couch. He felt lazy and tired but didn’t want to go to bed yet. He was having too much fun with her. Instead, he suggested a movie and she agreed. She wanted him to pick something this time. He was nervous, not wanting to pick something bad.

Thankfully, searching for something was easier than he thought it would be. Tony’s TV had just about everything under the sun on it, so he picked what he thought was a classic.

“Shirley Temple?” She laughed when he clicked on it. “I haven’t watched one of her movies since my grandmother was alive!”

He smiled. “So, you’ve seen them?”

“I have!” Her eyes crinkled with glee. “My grandmother was a big fan. I’d watch them a lot with her when I was younger.”

“Bucky’s mom enjoyed her films too. That’s how I got introduced. The songs were always catchy.”

“Yes! My grandmother and I would sing Animal Crackers all the time. I’m so happy you chose this.”

As they watched the movie, she curled up on the couch, her body close enough for him to feel her warmth. It was comforting to him. Sharing such a normal moment with someone who was enjoying his company.

When the movie was over and the credits started to roll, she spoke again. “That was such a nice pick, Steve. Thank you. I can’t say any of my other clients would have wanted to watch Shirley Temple.”

Ah, there it was. She was still paid to be here. Her job was to sleep with men for money. Suddenly, he felt a bit foolish for enjoying himself.

“Are you alright?” She looked up at him, studying his face. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No, it’s fine,” he said, waving her off. “I just… I almost forgot Tony paid you to sleep with me.”

“He paid me to come here for the weekend. Whatever happens, happens.”

“You’re an escort,” he said. “Isn’t sleeping together what’s supposed to happen?”

She raised her eyebrows and smiled at him. “Steve, tell me about my job.”

He was very confused. “What?”

“Tell me what I do for my job. Tell me about it.”

Was this a trick question? “Uh, you’re an escort? Paid to sleep with people?”

She started to laugh. “Steve, you have no idea what I do.” She readjusted herself to fully face him. “Yes, I’m an escort. And yes, I can get paid to sleep with someone but there’s a lot more to it than just that. First of all, I work for an agency. This helps me get work and also helps keep me safe. Sex workers aren’t always respected, and my agency is very protective of us and keeps the really creepy guys away.

My clients are mostly middle-aged men who just want to buy me for a couple hours to go to a party or something. They’re either recently divorced and don’t want to show up alone or want to try to make their ex jealous. That’s how I’ve gone to all of Tony’s parties. As just some young arm candy.”

“So, you’re just a date for them?”

“Basically, yes. Those men aren’t typically interested in having sex. They just don’t want to be lonely. I do get some inquiries about sex, but there’s a process to that. They all must be filed in advanced and I require a copy of a current STD test before I sleep with any client. So far, you’re the only exception. And that’s only because Tony assured me you are a virgin and I didn’t really expect you’d want to have sex.”

While he was enjoying learning about her and her career, it was highly embarrassing for him to be apart of it. He felt the flush of heat creep up his neck as he decided to move the subject along. “And you do this while going to school to be a nurse?”

She nodded. “School isn’t cheap, and escorting pays decent money. Yes, it’s a questionable line of work, but I’m good at it. It pays the bills and even provides enough for me to put money aside for the boys.”

“You care a lot about your family and your future,” he noted.

“Yeah,” she said softly, “I do. Our dad didn’t really stick around, and our mom died last year. I’m the only real source of income we have. They’ve both gotten after school jobs, but I want them to focus on their school work, you know? I don’t want them to have to worry.”

“Wow,” he said, taking it all in. “I’m sorry you’ve been given a terrible hand. But it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. You’re gonna be a great nurse and your brothers are lucky to have you.”

“Thank you, Steve,” she said softly. “I really appreciate that. And thank you for taking the time to actually talk and get to know me.”

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to do it.” She was so nice and pleasant to talk to. She was a lot more than just some escort Tony hired. And she did not ruin his birthday weekend.

Glancing at her phone, she sighed. “It’s getting pretty late. I’m gonna go to bed.” She rose from the couch. “Good night, Steve. I’ll see you in the morning. Thanks for asking to watch some TV with you. I enjoyed it.” With a beautiful smile on her face she went back to her room.

Sunday

He woke up later than normal on Sunday. He thought about going for a run, but it didn’t entice him like normal. Missing one day wouldn’t hurt. Instead, he opted for some coffee.

She was already in the kitchen looking like she was fresh out of the shower. He could smell the lavender and blueberries again. Must be her body wash.

“Hi!” She said, her eyes sparkling like normal. “Coffee?” She held up the pot, the dark liquid filling it up almost completely. “I was just about to pour myself some.”

Steve nodded. “Thanks.”

She filled one mug and passed it to him. He accepted as she went to get a second for herself. “I really like whatever Tony has here. Its very good.” She placed the now near empty pot in the sink before drinking her beverage.

“He’s got the same stuff at the compound,” Steve said, casually sipping his drink.

“Next time he wants to buy me I’ll request coffee as my payment,” she joked.

As he drank his coffee, she went back into her bedroom, coming out with her bags. It looked like she was struggling to carry them all so he helped her move them to the front door. She thanked him graciously, saying what a gentleman he was and how much she appreciated the help. He smiled to himself, enjoying helping her.

He then excused himself to get ready for the day and pack his bags. She offered to help him, but he declined, saying most of his stuff was still in his bag.

Showering and packing didn’t take long at all. In no time he had reemerged. He placed his own luggage next to hers and joined her in the living room. She was sitting on the couch, feet tucked under her body, looking at her phone. She glanced up at him as he plopped down. “Honestly I’m a little sad to leave. This place is so beautiful. I could get use to staying here.”

He stretched out, long arms going across the backrest. “It is quite nice. I’m looking forward to getting back, though. The mattress isn’t a firm as my own. Not as comfortable.”

She brought her hand up to her mouth and giggled, the sound making him feel tingly. “You are one hundred years old. Gotta have a firm mattress for your old back.” He couldn’t help but smile. He set himself up for that one.

Talking with her was so easy. She kept the conversation flowing and seemed to hang on his words intensely. He liked this. The way she was captivated by stories about himself and not just life as an Avenger and Captain America was comforting. He didn’t feel like he was on display, like a walking talking museum exhibit. He was just normal Steve Roger’s having a conversation with a pretty girl. And he wasn’t screwing it up.  

All too soon a dark car pulled up and Tony’s assistant came to the door. Sluggishly, the pair got in, Steve helping to load the luggage. When everyone was situated, and seat belts were buckled the assistant pulled away from the vacation home and back towards the real world.

The ride back home was silent. She fell asleep quickly, saying car rides always made her tired. Steve understood but was disappointed he wouldn’t be able to use this time to talk to her more. He found her fascinating.

They arrived at the compound first. Steve gently rubbed her arm, waking her from her slumber. She murmured softly, eyes opening slowly and locking with his. Her smile was lopsided and sleepy, and he found it adorable. “Where are we?” She asked softly, turning to look out the window.

“Avenger’s compound. My stop,” Steve said, unbuckling his seat belt.

“Mmm.” She stretched in her seat, face scrunched up as she did so. “I really enjoyed myself this weekend,” she said as he started to get out of the car.

“I did too,” he replied. Shutting the door and grabbing his bag he felt torn. He could leave now, walk away and never talk to her again. Nothing really happened. They didn’t really talk until the end of the vacation. They never kissed and barely even touched. But the thought of doing those things with her didn’t sound too bad for him. Maybe it would be worth getting to know her more.

The rush of fighting aliens didn’t compare to the rush of adrenaline he felt knocking on her window. They were tinted so he couldn’t see her reaction, but she did roll it down. “Hi,” she smiled so sweetly at him.

“Hey, so, I was wondering, if you were free tomorrow?” His bag nearly slipped out of his hands with how sweaty his palms had suddenly become.

The way her eyes instantly saddened made him regret asking her. “I’m sorry, Steve. I have another commitment.”

“Right,” he said, trying to play it cool. “Yeah. I understand. You have work.”

She giggled that way that made his heart hurt. “Not quite. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and have to take the boys to tutoring. But-“ She ducked down below his line of sight. He could hear her rummaging, a few seconds later she popped back up. “Here.” She reached out of the window and handed him a small white card. “Here’s my card. Please call me sometime, Steve. I would really like it.”

He slipped the business card into his back pocket. “I will. I’ll see you, Y/N.”

She kept the window down as the car pulled away to take her home. She waved at him, becoming smaller and smaller. When the car was out of sight, he pulled her card back out and looked it over.

It was standard. It had the name of her agency, a phone number, and an email. What caught his attention was when he turned it over to look at the back. In black ink was a handwritten note:

Here’s my personal number. Call me Steve  

Underneath was a different number than the one on the front. At some point during the weekend, she took the time to write this on her card. Was she going to give it to him if he didn’t knock on the window? He wasn’t sure. But he had it now. And he felt very confident in his decision again.

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