#how differently those deaths changed them

[nicanotnika]

Don’t get me wrong I love Annie and Smoke. Obsessed actually. However, I realized after just reading another “Reunited” story with them, it really hit me. This man left his wife for 7 years after the lost of their baby. Do yall know what is 7 YEARS BRUH, almost a decade. And then comes back demanding and expecting her to just up and accept his request for her to work for them. Like cmon man. I understand both of their points when it came to how they dealt with the death of their child and everyone’s different so some people would be able to battle through it and deal with it like Annie and there are those who are like Smoke and can’t truly deal with that type of loss and pain. Anyways, all I really wanted to say was to all, writers keep the Annie and Smoke stories coming as I said I’m obsessed and enthralled with their love but let’s change our perspectives a bit and be realistic. Let when he comes back he is cursed tf out and abused by Annie’s ass😭 like I’m talking about slaps, pushes everything. Let when he returns she immediately kicks him out and tells him to gtf out of her face and her house. Let when he comes back she gives him the hardest time and Smoke actually has to WORK and put in his all to be in her space and earn her trust and love again. Let. Him. Feel. And. Understand. What. He. Put. His. Wife. Through. Allow Annie to be the boss bitch she is said to be and let her stand her ground.

Let’s fucking gooooooo!❤️🫡

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Yes, I agree with you. Some things can only be truly understood when you put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Xie Lian was spoiled in some ways and doted upon by his parents; he was a prince. But I’d argue that there’s also something to be said about how Mu Qing and Feng Xin treated Hong Hong’er, and how the “one cup of water and two people” question ties into not just class inequality from above, but also how even those beneath the social hierarchy can internalize class bias. The system affects everyone. Xie Lian was kind and humble, but he also used to say, “I want to save the common people.” I saw a post suggesting that “common people” referred to those beneath the crown, and while his belief in saving everyone was sincere, he was also overconfident and self-righteous in thinking he could carry the burden all on his own. He had heart, but not experience. He was only 17. The Xianle arc shows his complicated relationship with the crown and with himself. Honestly, I liked Jun Wu’s prince arc more in some ways. He was more mature when things hadn’t yet spiraled out of control , or maybe the situation was just different. Civil wars are much harder to write about. I admired Xie Lian for not wanting to unleash the plague on the Yong’an people, but at the same time, I felt frustrated with how things unfolded. Yes, it was Jun Wu’s doing he wanted Xie Lian completely isolated but Xie Lian also had little to no experience as a prince, since he spent most of his time cultivating and disliked how his father handled politics. During those years, he began to understand why people steal, why they drink...swear, how everyone has their own life and path, and why sometimes, people must separate. And yet, even through all of that, we have Hua Cheng someone who would stay for him even after death, even when his soul was on the verge of destruction, just to stand by his side eternally.

If you ask me Mei Nianqing is a character who, like many elders, won’t easily listen to the younger generation because he sees them as naive. It was also Xie Lian who vouched for Mu Qing. The thing is, MNQ is a Guoshi, and even as a prince, Xie Lian’s role was technically beneath that. In many Asian cultures, your teacher or guru holds the highest status. You can challenge their ideas, but you can’t use your authority against them.In some ways, I do think Xie Lian could’ve done more. But from his position, he saw the problems as linear. He believed that if he, as a prince, took people under him and used his status or eventually became a god things would be resolved. I give him credit for standing up to his father, the king, and questioning him. But in reality, issues like these are much deeper and more complex. One person alone can’t bring about change. These kinds of problems require society as a whole to come forward and address them together.

He learned the true meaning of his stance on “one cup and two people” by distributing his own luck to those less fortunate after his second banishment, and he refused to take off the two shackles that brought him misfortune because they reminded him of Wu Ming—a ghost with no name, his last believer—who destroyed his own soul for Xie Lian as a result of Xie Lian having once thought of taking it out on innocent people for things orchestrated by White No-Face.

BTW, it was nice talking to you, and I really like your posts about your mom reacting to TGCF , they are my favorite. I wish I could also share this type of stuff with my family, especially my mom, but it’s just hard for me. People here still aren't very open about these things. Have a good day!

Oh yes! There’s also the fact Mu Qing is also in his way classist- everyone in the book, in Xianle, seems to place importance on class, like XLs father, they seemed to grow in that environment.

Like I said, I think XL is a case of both- he sometimes does things he doesn’t realize arent helping the cause but that’s mostly bc of ignorance- while I do think he has a really optimistic look to change the way people view the whole class situation, it’s a bit wonky since he hasn’t experienced being of a lower class or station, so maybe what he thinks could help could actually cause more harm.

I really wish we could have learned more about Jun Wu! If he was a lot like XL when he was a prince, but got to live a bit longer (I think? I think JW ascended younger but he spent longer as a god didnt he? Correct me if I’m wrong) I wonder how he had matured as a god, and what his choices then would have been.

I think his story is really tragic- obviously it doesn’t justify what he did to XL, but imo the heavens back then totally deserved to be turned into sidewalks pFT. I think it’s so sad how someone who clearly cared so much for his people was practically driven crazy by not only heaves, but because of the betrayal of his people themselves.

I know some people don’t like that Jun Wu didn’t get killed (I’ve seen some) but I think (not to justify his actions btw) that eventually the prince he was got buried behind the hurt and evil exterior. I think the Jun Wu that wanted to save the common people is still there, just like when XL was white no face, but buried underneath the hate, and sadly, unlike XL he wasn’t able to have someone place a bamboo hat on his head, or a Hua Cheng to show him otherwise.

Which thinking of it like that- because we saw it with XL, which was kind of what Jun Wu went through, I think it’s tragic because Jun Wu clearly just goes fuck it we ball, and buries it all out of anger. So I hope, even if it was late, that after being sealed in mount tonglu, being with MNQ slowly unburied the starry eyed prince from before- or rekindles the flame. Once again, not justifying his actions and I don’t think I’d like him to reconcile with XL, far too much trauma there, but I hope he personally gets to grow and become at peace. While he can’t undo the insane damage he did, he at least won’t do anymore? Lmao. I just hope he regains his love for humanity, no matter how long it takes. After all, even he was shaped by the terrible heavily officials before him (again not justifying mass genocide -the old heavens deserved it tho- or traumatizing XL) but he was kind of driven to that madness also by being around terrible, greedy people, and facing betrayal by the people he’d worked so hard to protect :(

Maybe it’s because I’m someone that can’t forgive easily (cough Hua Cheng cough) but I give SO many props for XL for not destroying Yong’an. Obviously it’s easy for me to say “oh I would have ended it all!” But yknow just like XL with the lower class when he’s a prince, I can’t 100% say I know what it would feel like ahshs

But seriously I remember admiring XL so much- I was angry for him and at that moment when I first read I was still angry (since I read everything in one go the 100 swords and everything else’s feelings hadn’t had time to fester lol) so I was like “crap no! Destroy them! Get your revenge they deserve it!” But then XL did it- and most would see it in like…such a Mary Sue way? Like in movies where the hero can kill the villain but doesn’t because “oh the goodness of my heart I would never go to your level because I’m so kind and righteous” and it’s kind of annoying bc you KNOW a normal person wouldn’t do that and that it’s because the author doesn’t want the audience to think the MC is evil! Or has any flaws!

But with XL it feels natural. I didn’t think oh the author did this because XL is such a Mary Sue and is ALWAYS so kind like a Disney Princess (I do think he’s a Disney Princess lmao) but you actually see him crash out before- you see him get mad and that’s what makes the forgiveness more bittersweet because you might be mad- but you see why XL at the end doesn’t destroy Yong’an- it’s not because the author was afraid to show XLs bad side- in fact MXTX shows us all of humanities flaws with her chats characters in a realistic way that I love because I feel like media nowadays is afraid to have characters that have flaws, that have ugly sides, just like we normal people do.

I love seeing XL at his kindest moments because they mean more after seeing his angriest ones. The kindness he shows is ten times more meaningful and significant because you have seen him be angry- you have seen him make mistakes and let his feelings consume him. But that’s what makes him so lovely- because you see it all and what shapes him, and you understand he’s just someone who had to grow up too quickly and was set up to fail, but is still kind.

And I love that’s what HC loves about him because people see flaws as something ugly- when they’re what makes us humans. Obviously we can work on ourselves, but we will have flaws no matter what, no one can be perfect. And the fact MXTX makes them gods, when usually religions make their deities be such perfect beings (except the Greeks I believe which is why I loveeed reading about them when I was wrong, the gods seemed like what I would think actual gods would act like- prideful, overconfident, etc etc) and MXTX shows even they have flaws which aaaaa I looooove

I actually did not know in Asia teachers or guoshis were held to such a high status actually! I thought even if he was the teacher, since XL was a prince he would have more power but it doesn’t seem like it, that’s so interesting! Then it makes more sense as to why maybe XL couldn’t directly speak to him, or change his mind so easily, I understand! My apologies for not knowing before! I still think since like you said, he stood up to the king he wouldn’t be afraid to step up to MNQ, but maybe there’s the fact XL was in a bad place with his father and Guoshi at the time took a more parental figure whom he respected.

And of course, I loved talking to you too! Feel free to message me or drop an ask about whatever you want to talk about! I love needing out over books and media, even if sometimes views don’t align I love reading and even arguing (respectfully) the points of view! I hope I was able to correctly articulate my thoughts haha, sometimes words be hard 😭

It really sucks you aren’t able to share something you like, I hope you’re able to someday :( if you want, you can talk to me, I’d love to hear you out 🥰

I’m happy you enjoyed my mom’s silly reactions, they made me laugh and I’m glad it made others as well!

Have a great day! Sending you tons of hugs 🤗

[alphacrone]

a quick one-shot that's been on my mind since i watched the finale last night.

-

Around dawn, when Hardison was snoring lightly into his pillow, Parker slipped out of the room.

It was her room, technically—even theirs, when Alec was in town. But Parker never liked to call it that, not when it was just a place she laid her head while away from the home they’d built together. 

She didn’t mean the house, either, though she loved that place and missed it fiercely while they were in Louisiana. Hardison had put so much work into it, a beautiful ranch-style build for Eliot with a courtyard of flowers—both the beautiful and the bizarre—for when Sophie needed a break from everything. The library had been for Nate, a place of stained-glass windows and quiet contemplation, where he’d spent a good chunk of the end of his life. The server room and workshop had been for Alec—and Breana, though he’d never admit it to her face—and the vents? The vents had been the first thing he’d planned, and were so complex and labyrinthine that it had taken Parker months to master them all. 

It was the closest a place had ever felt like home to Parker, but she knew better than that. Home wasn’t walls and windows and vents; home was people. Her people. 

The sun hadn’t risen yet, but the sky was starting to lighten as it drew near, a cobalt blue that reminded Parker of the Hope Diamond, of the Star of India, of a million different gems she’d stolen at one point or another. It was the sort of color that made you believe you really could start anew, go on a journey and come out of it changed, maybe even for the better.

It wasn’t hard to find him. Eliot didn’t like to admit it often, but he and Parker were cut from the same cloth. Parker wondered if she’d be more like him if she’d had parents who loved her. She wondered if he’d be more like her if there wasn’t so much blood on his hands. 

The roof of the Hancock-Whitney Center was technically off-limits, but Parker assumed those rules were for normal, honest people. As the tallest building in the city, it housed an emergency heliport, but it was a poorly-kept secret around New Orleans that some of the richer lawyers who worked in the penthouse offices constituted “trips to the Caymans” as emergencies.

There was something freeing about being up so high without a rope or harness. One misstep, one miscalculation, and Parker would tumble to her death, gone in seconds. It was a thought that frightened normal people like Hardison and Sophie, but sent a chill of excitement down Parker’s spine. No one could touch her when she was so high above the world.  

Eliot, she knew, came to places like these out of a sense of duty. Like a livestock dog, he’d choose the best vantage point to watch over his flock—even if that flock included every innocent person in the world. When he needed to think, he could stare out over the city for hours, silent and still. 

He was there now, perched on a ledge with a six pack by his side. There was something endearing about the way his admittedly short legs dangled over the edge, like a child in a chair built for someone larger. Parker let her footsteps gradually grow louder, knowing Eliot would hear her long before she reached him. 

“Can’t sleep?” He asked, not bothering to turn around. Parker climbed up next to him and stole the bottle that hung loosely from his fingers. 

“Got a couple hours,” she said truthfully. “How long have you been up here?” 

Eliot shrugged. “Dunno. When did Hardison and Breanna start arguing about dipshits and dorks or whatever?” 

“Dungeons and Dragons,” Parker corrected, though they both knew Eliot already knew that. “Four hours ago.” 

Eliot tipped his head as if to say, well there you go. Parker always found it amusing how expressive he was when he wasn’t busy scowling. She took a long pull of her stolen beer and handed the bottle back. 

“Would you really have let me kill him?” 

It was the question that had been on Parker’s mind for days now, in the quiet hours where she tried to nap on the loaned chopper that took her to and from Colombia. Eliot had been serious, when he’d told her he’d have her back no matter her choice, but something didn’t sit right, like puzzle pieces that looked like they should fit together but didn’t quite mesh no matter how hard she forced them. 

“Of course,” Eliot said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “I told you, Parker, you’re not Nate.” 

“No,” she agreed. “We’re different than them. But you don’t…do that anymore.” 

If she didn’t know him as well as she did, Parker wouldn’t have noticed the miniscule twitch of the muscle in Eliot’s jaw, the way his shoulders set to brace for a blow. “I don’t,” he said quietly. “But you’re not me, either.” 

“Would you?” Parker heard herself ask. “Do it again?” 

For the first time since she’d sat down, Eliot looked at her. His eyes were always so soft, so sad, even when the rest of him was a hardened tool of violence. Hardison had mentioned it once, late at night when the two of them had been too wired to sleep. He thinks he’s broken, Alec had whispered. And that he can never be- fixed? Healed?

You could, she’d said. You do. You fix everything. 

The half-smile he’d given her had been so devastated, Parker had nearly cried. 

“I would,” Eliot finally admitted. “With the right motivation.” 

“And what’s that?” Parker asked. 

“C’mon, now,” he said, elbowing her gently. “You know the answer to that.” 

And she did. There was no doubt in her mind that if her life was in danger—or Hardison’s, or Sophie’s, or Breanna’s, or even Harry’s—Eliot would kill the entire world to keep them safe. 

“But that’s not what this was, with Ramirez,” Parker said, looking out over the city. Even New Orleans had to sleep, but there were hundreds of dots of light speckling the darkness. There were people coming home from graveyard shifts and people getting ready to replace them. There were students up late studying and parents up early with crying babies. There were friends out partying still and lovers wrapping themselves in each other’s arms and families coming together for a meal or a hug or to say hello or goodbye. Thousands of souls laid out in front of Parker’s eyes—and Eliot would just let her end one? 

“Ramirez hurt children,” Eliot said simply. “He would’ve gotten one killed sooner rather than later. Leaving him alive is a risk. A calculated one,” he added quickly. “But a risk nonetheless. You wouldn’t have been protecting one of us, Parker. You would’ve been protecting those kids.” 

“Thought you looked down on vigilante killings,” Parker whispered, voice growing suspiciously thick. 

“Usually, yeah.” Eliot shrugged. “But I trust you. And even- even if it was a wrong call, a death I couldn’t justify, I’d still have your back.” 

“Even if I killed Hardison? Or Sophie?” Parker dipped her face against her shoulder, trying to wipe away the tears that had started falling. 

“I can’t imagine a world where that would happen,” Eliot said with a gentle laugh. “But yes.” 

“That’s horrible,” Parker said, making Eliot laugh harder. “I’m telling Hardison you said that.” 

“Do not-” Eliot turned to shove her, but Parker was already dancing across the helipad, tears drying on her cheeks. Eliot followed after her, beer forgotten, scowl back in place, and for the first time since Edgar Ramirez came across her radar, Parker’s heart felt light. 

[yuseirra]

Supplemental interpretation of Mizi���s character (Scene-by-scene breakdown of the new comic)

This post is a follow-up to the previous analysis I wrote last time! I think reading this will help things make more sense~

It's really, really intriguing to interpret characters with layers to them. I really enjoy doing that!

Before we begin, when doing character interpretation or psychological analysis, here’s a helpful tip—

It’s important to pay attention not just to how the character evaluates themselves, but also to how other characters react to them.

For example, if someone has a tendency toward self-loathing or self-deprecation, what they say about themselves might not be all that accurate—even if they’re the ones saying it. That’s why we need to keep in mind that a person’s self-evaluation isn’t always something we can fully trust.

Sure, sometimes crucial aspects of a character’s inner world only come out through their self-perception—but often, it’s the people closest to them, their overall behavior, and how others view them that end up giving a clearer, more fair assessment.

You know those moments. Like when a hero saves tons of people but still says, “I couldn’t do enough. I’m not good enough…” Or the opposite—when someone hurts a bunch of innocent people and says, “They had it coming. I was just doing what was right!”

So while a character’s internal monologue matters, we also need to take a step back and look at what they’ve actually done—their past actions, and how others respond to them—if we want to get a fuller, more accurate picture.

At the same time, we really need to factor in the situation they’re in. The emotional pressure someone feels when they’re in a stable and happy state is very different from the kind of feelings that come out when they’re in a chaotic, extreme state. That difference totally affects interpretation.

So overall, it’s about putting all of that together and looking at the full picture.

And that’s exactly why this new Alien stage comic is such a great one to analyze...

Of course, my interpretation is still subjective, and I could totally be wrong! But this is a topic I really care about, and I genuinely enjoy digging into this kind of stuff. It’s something I take seriously.

I feel pretty confident in my ability to break down complex psychological layers. I might be biased toward interpreting people positively, but in this case, I think I’m reading it well.

So! Picking up from the last post—let’s break things down scene by scene.

Here’s the situation:

Mizi had rushed onto the Blink Gone stage to try and save Till. But Till ends up dying right in front of her eyes. Mizi is devastated—mentally falling apart while staring at Till’s blood on her hands.

Then she sees a hallucination of Sua.

Sua is someone Mizi couldn’t save either—and she’s also the person who mattered most to Mizi. So this whole moment overlaps with the memory of Sua’s death.

But then Mizi suddenly thinks something strange:

“Feel like a waste?”

That word—“waste” (in the original Korean: 아깝다)—is super important. Depending on how you interpret it, it could completely change how you see Mizi.

So here’s where it gets interesting:

From a reader’s perspective, Mizi saying “what a waste” to herself could be taken as: “Ugh, another useful pawn gone. Shame—I’d been grooming that one for a while.” Basically implying that Mizi is cold and calculating, and everything we’ve seen of her so far was just an act.

But if you look into it a bit more, that interpretation doesn’t really hold up.

If that were the case, Mizi wouldn’t be crying so hard, crushed by grief, and hallucinating dead loved ones. Even if she felt some practical loss, she wouldn’t be emotionally wrecked like this. She wouldn’t be experiencing this level of human sadness and pain.

So Mizi’s emotional reaction to the situation is just as important as what she says. People don’t think the same way when they’re in a stable state vs. when they’re emotionally overwhelmed—it wouldn’t be fair to judge both from the same standard.

Mizi might be judging herself, thinking: “I was just using people, wasn’t I…” but if you look at what she actually did—her behavior—it doesn’t line up with that harsh self-judgment.

And we can get a better idea of what Mizi really meant by “waste” through the next scene, where she gets confronted by that guy who hits her.

He calls her “cunning,” saying boys and girls can’t be real friends—and accuses her of pretending not to know that Till liked her, just so she could keep being close with him.

What the boy is saying is basically, “You’re stringing him along. You know how he feels, but you’re acting clueless. You’re fake.”

While saying it "must be nice," being her, pretending to be sweet and all innocent, getting people to love her, he slaps her across the face. (Just before this, he remarks on how guys and girls always end up “mating,” and Mizi rightfully calls it kind of gross.)

Now here’s where Mizi’s immediate reaction matters:

She says sorry to the boy who just slapped her face and calls her disgusting and filthy.

She tells him, “I’m sorry for upsetting you”—but she’s also confused, like, “What exactly did I do wrong? I don’t get it.”

Then she says again:

“It’s a shame.” (in English, "It's a shame" / in Korean, again, 아깝다< it's the same word in the original KR version)

What’s behind that, you may wonder:

It is that Mizi tried. She genuinely made the effort to be kind to everyone. When there were things she couldn’t respond to or reciprocate, she just smiled and played it nice. To her, that was her way of being considerate. She really put in effort.

So from her perspective, the fact that her kindness didn’t work here—that it hurt someone instead—that’s what feels like “a waste.” and "a shame" It’s like:

“If you’d stayed like the others— believing I really was to be completely innocent, not knowing anything—it would’ve been easier between us. But now I’ve ended up hurting you. That sucks. That’s a loss for both of us.”

Her saying “I don’t know what I did wrong” —it’s that she really believed she was doing her best. So if that’s still seen as manipulative or “fake,” it just invalidates all the effort she put in.

She’s thinking:

“But I tried! I acted that way to be thoughtful! Everyone was happier that way. I thought no one would get hurt if I just smiled and played along. But now this guy’s saying I’m two-faced?”

“Then… what was I supposed to do instead? I don’t get it. This really hurts.”

That’s Mizi’s heart there at that scene. The way she’s been acting—that’s a core part of her identity, but it wasn't acknowledged and it gave her pain.

So she runs away crying.

And from this point, Mizi starts to have serious doubts about the way she’s always acted.

She ends up telling Sua about what happened—because she’s upset. She just needed to talk to her closest friend about it.

But even then, Mizi says stuff like, “I'm sure I did something wrong,” and “He’s not a bad person, really.”

Part of her really believes that, and part of her wants to believe that.

She wants to think that maybe, if she had handled it differently, the relationship could’ve stayed okay.

So she tries to focus on the good things in life to pick herself back up, saying stuff like: “And right now, I’m just happy because I’m with you, Sua. I'm sooo happy!”

But Sua’s not in the same emotional place. Because of what she’s been through, she's distressed. Moreover, she’s not the type to force herself to act cheerful just to lift the mood.

So Sua replies: “I’m not really happy. (...) You don't get dragged around like me.” And then adds: “Must be nice(being you) right?”

She doesn’t join in Mizi’s effort to stay upbeat. Instead, she takes Mizi's efforts as something 100% genuine, that Mizi "has it nice"

The reason Mizi reacts so strongly to that—“Must be nice”—is because she’s not. Not at all. Her head is a mess, her heart’s a mess, and for Sua to not see that—to not notice how much effort she’s been putting into staying cheerful—makes her feel overwhelmed with anger and sadness, even just for a moment. Moreover, this line also brought her back to that time when that boy earlier had called her out for being "manipulative" and supposedly having her way with people acting innocent because it happened to be phrased the same way.

It’s like… she’d really hoped Sua would understand her. And in that moment, they just didn’t connect. That’s where the despair came from. Mizi really treasures Sua, but even Sua didn’t notice how hard she’s been working to stay bright. Instead, she just assumed Mizi was feeling carefree and smiling for real. So Mizi snapped.

But then right after that moment, when she hits Sua out of that emotional outburst, she’s hit with the crushing thought that she just did to Sua what that boy who slapped her did. And that fills her with intense self-hatred. What’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t have done that… She starts beating herself up inside.

Their facial expressions in that scene are pretty intense and eerie… but emotionally, that’s what’s going on.

After that, Mizi starts to believe—Maybe I really am as manipulative as that boy said I was.

And then, what she does next is go find Till. This is something really worth paying attention to.

If Mizi actually had the intention of using Till, then she would've kept pretending she didn’t know anything, acting all innocent.

But instead, she goes straight to him and says it plainly:

“Till, you know the one I love the most in the world is Sua, right? Is it that hard to not like me?”

Mizi really does care about Till. Maybe not in the same way as she does for Sua, but as a friend, she cares deeply. So she thinks she needs to be honest with him. She tells him—I can’t give you what you want. Even if you love me, I love Sua. So wouldn’t it be better for you to not to love me?

Why? Because that boy had called her manipulative for keeping her feelings hidden. And now she’s scared—If I keep pretending nothing’s wrong and just act like a normal friend, maybe Till will end up feeling betrayed too. She wants to prevent that. If she didn’t care about Till, she wouldn’t even bother.

And the thing is—Till already knew. He knew Mizi had feelings for Sua. (Side note: yup, I called this in my earlier analysis!) So Mizi was never leading Till on or anything; he just liked Mizi because that's how he felt about her.

So in a way, Mizi and Till have a pretty healthy relationship—they both know what’s going on between each other, and they acknowledge it. But Mizi’s head is all tangled up from what that boy said, and it’s making her question everything. Was I just using Till this whole time?

When she tells Till that she loves Sua, and he says he still likes her, Mizi asks him:

“Why do you like me so much, anyway?”

Because she doesn’t believe she can give anything back. She doesn’t think she can return his feelings… even though Mizi, just by being herself, is already a light in Till’s life—she just doesn’t realize it.

Till, so sincerely, just says, “Because… you’re pretty…” He’s simply being honest about how he sees her. But for Mizi, that ends up reinforcing all the wrong thoughts.

Because the part of her that worked so hard to be cheerful and sweet—what she now sees as “fake”—is exactly what Till is saying he likes. So she thinks, He’s rejecting this honest version of me. Even he loved the version of me that pretended to be pure and happy. If I want him to be happy, I have to keep pretending. That’s what everyone wants from me. I guess I have to live my whole life putting on this mask, tricking people...

And that’s why she lets out that hollow laugh.

Then she ends up viewing all her past efforts—being kind to people, staying cheerful—as nothing more than:

“I did all of that for myself. Just so I could survive. I used everyone.”

But that’s completely the opposite of the truth. She actually put up that cute and cheerful energy for everyone around her.

If everything she did at Anakt Garden—living with the other kids from a young age—was really just her cold calculation to survive, then she wouldn’t be hurting this much now over Till, over Sua, or anything else.

If it was all just part of some scheme she set up, she’d be smirking right now going, “It all went according to plan. What idiots.”

But instead, Mizi’s in a place where she’s seeing hallucinations, hating herself so much she’s breaking down.

She’s thinking, Maybe everything I’ve done was just for me. Maybe I’m selfish. And she’s lashing herself with those thoughts. That’s how much she hates who she thinks she is.

But the truth is—Mizi really did want everyone to survive. Till, Sua, Ivan, Hyuna—all of them were precious to her. That’s why when Luka provoked her with Sua, she lost control and didn't care about the whole contest. If she only cared about winning or surviving, she wouldn’t have been furious about it, she wouldn’t have snapped like that.

Mizi cares and has a big heart. That's why she broke down when Sua died. That’s why she looked so relieved and lit up when Till reached out to her in the Blink Gone Stage, That's why and how she risked her life to fire a gun and save Hyuna, while nearly having gotten hit by a bullet herself. What really took place just before this comic was that Mizi couldn't bear to leave Till behind, so she snuck back into the alien stage show and held out her hand to him. She was nearly killed herself, and had barely escaped with her life, and yet, she returned to that stage for someone else's. That's so far from taking advantage of others, it's a choice she wouldn't ever have made if everything she did was just to survive.

Mizi using others for her own ends? If that really were to be the case, then when Hyuna saved her, she wouldn’t have joined the resistance or risked going back to the stage to help the other children.

She RISKS her life to save others, and actively jumps in to help. That's what's consistent about her, and it's what describes her as a person.

If she had really just been using the other kids, they all wouldn’t care about her so much. They wouldn’t try to protect her the way they do.

Mizi is devastated right now because nothing turned out the way she wanted. She couldn’t save anyone. And thinking that it’s all her fault—thinking she failed to save them—feels like a punishment she deserves. This is how and why her thoughts are spiraling this way in this particular comic.

[chimaerakirin]

The League is transcendent.

The League is an idea.

You can't make me believe that they're dead. You can't make me believe that Deku saved anyone. He lied. He lied in chapter one, when he said this was the story of how he became the world's greatest hero. He lied again when he changed it from "I" to "we." He lied when he said he saved Tomura, and quite frankly I think he lied when he said he wanted to save Tomura. Either he wanted to save Tomura the way I want a snack right now, or he never wanted to save Tomura at all, and just convinced himself he did because all he ever wanted was to be a hero and saving people is theoretically what heroes do. Gran Torino and the Vestiges just gave him a free out for that.

And if dying with a "smile" instead of as some mirage of a sobbing kid isn't being saved, then Toga wasn't saved either. Neither was Dabi, magically displaying some remorse from his regrown eyeballs and tear ducts. Never mind the fact that both Toga and Dabi's presence in the world as we see it disappears into the ether as they cry...

Because they're allowed to cry, but Tomura isn't, I guess.

What "saved" those two, huh? Validation from their designated archnemeses? Toga being told she was cute and being offered blood? Dabi finding out that the little brother he tried to kill has the same favorite food as him? They already got validation, well before the Final War. They got it from the League. The League all validated each other. Hell, Tomura's last words were validating Spinner.

To hell with the epilogue Horikoshi wrote. To hell with anything else in canon that we think is bullshit. The moment he shared his ideas and let us think about them, he gave us the ability to decide whether we want to believe them or not. All copyright means is that we're not allowed to make money off of using those ideas to create something we like better. That's the difference between Franchise and Fandom.

All hail Death Of The Author.

"In four months im going to have to see Tomura gone forever 😭"

Not me, that's what fandom is for. Besides im not letting a man with a soft boiled egg for a spine and no real understanding of systemic rot dictate the "end" of Tomura Shigaraki for me. Horikoshi doesn't even know what narrative follow through is and he's probably lowkey a fascist. who cares about his little story. The league is transcendent.

[rabbitprose]

kyojuro's view on death being "you die when you need to die" and akaza's view on death is "you die when i allow you to die"

[b6d11f]

at my best, I'm a sacrificial lamb at my best, I am something you could handle

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 2 - Psyche Skills

Part 1 - Part 3

[dors-ee]

sorry i am reblogging -hope it's ok- bc your reflexions about your art really resonate with me and help me too (I follow you on ig too and already reacted there to tell you that on another older reflexion). I don't post these days, and even when I did never was as good and as popular as you, like really really far from it. Yet I can really relate to a lot of what you're feeling. And it makes me thing about my own art and how I approach it, approach the posting thing -which I want to do- and fandom spaces too.

I am getting so tired of fandom spaces too. I know they never were perfect, and maybe my old perceptions from when i was a teen were skewed, but fandoms felt different, more welcoming, and freer before. Like... much more into creation, subjectivity, exploring stuff, than following canon so closely or some specific popular AUs. Nothing wrong with those two, but it seems they became the norm rather than just... possibilities amongst others. I have never been good at creating things distanced from me but that'd work with pple (closer to purely canon). When i have characters, a media, ship, of course I appropriate it and build my own stuff on it and have fun in the sandbox. Personally i am not motivated into just... rebuilding the same sandcastle as the canon one. or fit the mold of popular AUs. Or popular character interpretation by the loud voices in fandom. I want to play in the box and build stuff, with the material canon gives as a base yes, but not like it. and whilst before I had the fear "this is from me" and I was scared of the vulnerability of showing personal stuff, I wasn't even considering "will this fit the mold enough to even be looked at?". Now it is all i have in mind when i created. Is this too personal? too weird. Too me? Will it even get looked at if it's too not close to canon?

i used to think fandom was a meeting of people around a media and sharing our creativity. Now it doesn't feel like that anymore, and it has so much toxicity. we can't share our actual thoughts, including criticisms, but we also can't always share what we just love, and it feels like being constantly watched and constantly on edge and constantlyhaving to follow norms and molds that aren't supposed to be there. (and more this is a non exhaustive list). I'm tired of it. Fandom was my escape for so very long, but post 2020 I have seen it descend into something I don't want to be in anymore and doesn't feel safe in anymore.

What does it mean that teen me felt safer and had more fun in fandoms than 26 years old me... ? (I really had a blast back then, 10 years ago. and wasn't afraid to get doxed for syaing stuff. Like today we have to deal with potential doxxing? Death threats? bullying has always been there, I know it, and I might be wrong but I don't remember being so scared in fandoms, and I don't remember threats of doxxing or death threats, were a thing. Like bullying alone is pretty bad, I'm not saying it isn't. it is. fandom already had issues, for sure.) but anyway I am totally derailing I am so sorry, I did not mean to start talking about me 😭

But yeah your own process' reflexions really resonate with me and make me think. I am also happy to see the sketching helped you so much with feeling better with art!

I had told you on ig I did it too but for me it wasn't working so well bc I was seeing good ideas sketched and yet still felt like the urge to use them in a better way, but couldn't use them that way, for bigger more refined stuff, but I have thought on it further and tried to do it more like you with more of a "learn to let go more" mindset and it has helped me a lot too!

and I wish you the best going forward with your art again! I hope those changes you are implementing will help you too!

Some art process ramblings

I also struggle a lot with procrastinating/being scared of clean canvas/being frightened of trying something new I'm not good at so I made this motivational board on the window near my desk a while ago

[thefirstknife]

Hi Bel,

I keep seeing comments about people complaining about the quality of destiny’s writing and story in the last few weeks. I haven’t really engaged with destiny since season of defiance, what’s currently gotten everyone so riled up? I thought that people were enjoying Season of the Deep/Witch in terms of narrative, why is Season of the Wish causing people to deride the destiny writing staff again?

I don't know!

Deep and Witch have been absolute bangers in every aspect to me. I've been enjoying all interactions and lore tabs we've received. A lot of them are stuff that we've never had before, a lot of reunions and closures, a lot of development and interactions between characters who you wouldn't really think would have much in common.

Sloane's return and healing from what she's been through has been fantastic, Drifter opening up with her to help her because he also got help from others was fantastic, Sloane reuniting with Aisha and Shayura brought me to tears (Shayura's descent into madness was triggered by immense trauma of Sloane staying on Titan and Titan disappearing), everything with Sloane and Zavala...

Witch was just incredible in every single way; the focus on Eris, the amount of Eris and Ikora content!!!!! Everything about Xivu and Savathun and their interactions together!! Eris finally fulfilling her goal she promised Savathun YEARS ago, getting that closure.

Wish so far has been equally great to me. All the new stuff about Ahamkara is amazing, finally giving us proof for long-standing speculation about Ahamkara and how they aren't universally evil creatures and expanding on them as a species. I love all interactions we've had so far; finally we have Petra back, Mara's singleminded focus on figuring out how to defeat the Witness and her continuous work to improve as a person, ALL SJUR MENTIONS!!!!! I won't talk about the "leak" because we have no context for it so I will wait for the full story to be revealed before I can pass judgment; something that I think should be a lesson to learn from this entire year. Maybe wait for the story to finish before judging the story.

Literally everything this past year that involves Osiris, but especially this season now that he's back in his element with the Vex. And of course every little detail we get of him and Saint. Osiris honestly shaped this year for me with everything that he's done to uncover the biggest mysteries. I think a big reason is that a lot of people just don't like Osiris, which I consider a massive skill issue.

Other than that, I don't know what are the issues people have besides just not being interested in any of these storylines and attributing it to a nebulous "bad writing" claim. I also genuinely believe that way too many people get wrapped up too much in fandom, imagine storylines they want to see and then get disappointed when the actual story doesn't go there. Almost like people forget that this isn't their story and these aren't their characters. A lot of it is also fandom completely warping characters into not what they actually are and then feeling like the canon story is the one that's wrong.

Whatever is the reason, I guess everyone is entitled to their perspective of the story and everyone is free to explore the story in different ways through fanfics and AUs and whatever. I do that too!

But I would definitely ask people to be normal with how they engage in criticism, especially in the current state of affairs. Writers are developers; they experience a ton of harassment and negativity from the community and also from inside the company. And they are online: they can see what we're saying. It's been documented that community commentary has been used to harass writers:

Imprint this into your brain and never forget what these people had to go through. Let's not forget also the way people treated Seth Dickinson on social media when he was active with Destiny fans. "Fans" were actively arguing with him about his own work (telling him that HE is wrong) and were utterly disgusting towards him when he tried explaining what he wrote. His works are now hailed as the best writing in Destiny and people want him back. If I were him, I wouldn't want to come back ngl, not with how he was treated and not with how fans are still treating writers (and hey, Seth wrote LF Collector's Edition! So he was back, technically, this year!). Let's not forget that a lot of writers are members of various marginalised groups. And I'd definitely not want to go back with zero support from leadership.

Which is also an important aspect for all developers, including writers: sometimes they have orders they may not like, but can't argue against. They do the best they can with what they're given, the time they have and directions they receive. And with that in mind, I am enjoying everything we've gotten this year, obviously with some specific complaints about things I didn't particularly enjoy (like the universally mid reception of Defiance; I've spoken about my gripes with it before, a big one being the shafting of Suraya who should've at least been mentioned in a lore tab).

I can tell that there is passion in their work, even if maybe they would prefer to do more with it, but can't. Maybe even if they want to take different routes, but can't. But from what we got, I can feel that they care about this world and these characters. I can tell that someone lovingly wrote about Sloane and her friendships with two grieving women. I can tell that they deeply cared about Sloane's friendship with Zavala and that they loved showing us Saint and Drifter caring about a fellow trauma survivor.

I can tell that the writers are immensely careful and loving towards Eris; everything she went through was crafted with love and passion from both writers and her VA. Eris' story is such a fundamental aspect of Destiny and I can tell that this was important to the writing team and that they gave her everything they could to do justice to her character and her arc and her healing and her release from the cycle she was trapped in for so long.

I can tell that there are writers who care a lot about Osiris and Saint and their relationship. I can tell that someone cared a lot about expanding on Ahamkara and giving them more personalities. I can tell that someone cared DEEPLY about Sjur and Mara and that her repeated mentions are the passionate work of writers who want us to remember her.

I could go on. And I know that not everyone sees it this way, which is fine; we all have different ways of perceiving stories. I enjoy discussing things we in the fandom disagree on and I enjoy hearing different perspectives! Unfortunately, this has recently become rarer and rarer. And for the love of god, please try and treat writers with some respect, especially now, especially those who are still working and doing their best with the shitty situation they're in. None of the cries of "poor devs" ring true to me unless the same is given to writers, instead of treating them like punching bags.

[entering--hyperspace]

Cannot imagine whatever is going on through Mr Leonard Echowatcher's head. You spend your life yearning for a world where you lived differently, where the day wasnt soaked in war, blood, and battle. Where you could envision a future where you have a partner and a family with friends to live gracefully with. But then you are given such opportunities only to find you were never taught to be gentle, you have a gentle, empathetic nature and yet the physicality of it is a stranger to you. You are expected to raise a child with gentle hands so that she saves the world, What does that even mean? How can you accept your growing love for your friend when you were never taught how to love, that intimate love is a luxury best left forgotten, there are no need for such things in war. He has to learn to become the things he wanted bc he grew too old to develop it naturally. He becomes a father to taimi fumbling his way into learning how to care and parent, he is defensive of Aurene bc he is from a culture where they arent expected to raise their own young and yet has to do so with a dragon. It feels like a test, He has to prove both to others and to himself he is capable of being a father, of nuturing, that calloused, stained hands can still be gentle. He has to accept that love is a terrifying leap of faith in vulnerability in order to gain a partnership that is considered a rarity. I love the idea that he spent 30 years yearning for things he thought he would never have and when he is actually given those opportunities (albeit admittedly through unusual circumstances) he has to learn how to actually live in them, becuase they were always just Concepts until now. Ohhhh my god Mr. Leo you are my everything

[andragoras-in-vanity]

i finished veilguard, my life has no meaning, also what yhe FUCK was that post credit scene, im afraid. and i cant wait for the next one tbh. i hope my rook gets to be a lil well remembered hero who stays ready as the veilguard but has decided to protect thedas from demons and twisted spirits using their expertise as a mourn watcher and my likely connection to the fade, ya boy would spend time learning ancient elvhen funeral practices from bellara and how they effect the fade too.

i just want my boy to have some peace with his husband, go on ...safer adventures...cause his heart nearly gave out a few times and itll take a while to put it back together again. hes always going to be looking for harding and honouring her too, i want to think she was the one he went to when he had panic attacks. i think hed be searching spirits and the fade, and hed go visit hardings mom (would probably cry more than she does too especially if she looks like lace). hed have tea with mahanon and visit the griffins, and the caretaker a lot, but when its all over and everything is mosty recovered and he visits vorgoth and myrna he gets a lecture from myrna and a begrudgingly relieved hug, and vorgoth doesnt really say much but takes him aside and pats his head like when he was child and would hide from his lessons because they made him feel dumb.

i love dragon age, i never want the series to end, i need to revisit inquisition again

[keeps-ache]

💫💥today💥💫 i start learning blender >:| !!

[infizero]

every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[naw-naw-honeyimgood]

i know im the dumb bitch that's first thought to what fic i can write off a media is either a soulmate au or a daemon au BUT

I'm reading a harry potter fanfic (dont look at me like that 1) its a crossover and 2)fanfics can just as easily be a ceremony where we dance around a fire thats burning source material okay) and i mean

tbf i didnt CHECK but has anyone considered that a person's animagi form is just what their daemon would be? cuz the mc of this fic is about to realize that the weird-ass dog he's seen around campus is an animagus and i was like

you know, when ur writing a daemon au, one staple is that a trait for people with dog daemons is loyalty. so i thought it was kinda funny that someone who's a dog animagus was framed for disloyalty and all that

then i thought of a daemon au where there's like a whole faction of people STILL, twelve years later, debating whether sirius black was REALLY guilty. because he has a dog daemon, so there's no way he'd betray his BEST FRIENDS, who he was LOYAL to, right? ('in fact' some of that faction would mutter to each other 'that action far better befits the rat daemon whose death he was accused of' conspiracy theorists who?)

or a group thats adjacent to THEM who insist he was playing a long con from the beginning: he was planning to serve voldemort from the get-go, so he PRETENDED to have his daemon settle as a dog in order to have an in with the Order of the Phoenix, who would obviously trust someone with a dog daemon. his daemon isnt ACTUALLY a dog, the claim.

but one thing i hate about writing daemon aus is that u have to come up with a daemon for EVERYONE and then NAME them all, which i hate, so this is an open offer to anyone who actually wants to write it

i mean i guess i could write a tiny little thing??? i dunno- if i actually wrote this it would ONLY have this stuff in it so idk if it would be worth writing

(i could see conspiracy theorist parvarti or lavender tho- divintation fanatics they are 🤔)