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monstersflashlight · 1 day ago

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Patreon Commission for anon

Request: something with an orc and a female human? Something fantasy-based, maybe human owns a tavern? I'd be fine with whatever you thought worked though!

A/N: Sorry this is kind of late, life is hectic. Enjoy!

Kissing an orc

Orc x fem!reader || accidental exhibitionism, oral sex, groping

You are kneading the bread for the next day when the knock on the door startles you. “Your favorite orc is hereeeee,” your annoying naga helper sing-songs to you. You shush them in your way to the door, signaling them to stop or you’ll kill them. They chuckle and disappear to the front, a broom already on their hands. Good, at least they would stop being a little shit while they do the tavern cleaning.

You open the door and have to swallow a gasp. It doesn’t matter how many times you look at him, it always amazes you how fucking beautiful he is. All giant, towering over you, with his beautiful olive skin and big tusks framing his appetizing mouth. Good goddess you’d give all your gold to be able to kiss him at least once to know how that mouth would feel against yours.

“Hi- hi,” you stutter. You chastise yourself, trying to act composed, but suddenly your skin feels too hot and your breathing is pushing your boobs a bit too forward.

“What was all that about? Am I your favorite orc? Do you know more orcs?” He looks so confused and adorable you want to pinch his cheek, but also kiss him senseless.

You look at him completely dumbfounded. “Are you serious?”

“Yes?” You aren’t sure if it’s a question or an affirmative.

You take a deep breath, thinking about all the possible possibilities of what you are about to do, but you are so fucking tired. You want to know, and if it goes wrong, you can always change hunters and find a new person or monster to bring you fresh meat for your tavern every day, right? Yeah. You can probably find somebody else, but you can’t wait more time to know how do his lips taste.

You stare into his beautiful dark eyes and answer truthfully: “Of course you are my favorite orc, I’ve been trying to ask you out for months.”

“What?” He looks so surprised you want to laugh, but the nervousness in your stomach prevents you to do anything. “But, but… I asked and you didn’t… you didn’t…” He takes a deep breath and starts again. “I asked you to meet me for breakfast and you said you had to work. I asked you if you wanted coffee and said you had to work.” As soon as he says that, you can remember a few other times he asked you for coffee or lunch or some snack and you always refused because you thought he did it just because he was nice, not because he was interested. Were you really that obvious?

You look at him, your face mirroring his surprise. “Oh.”

“You are just too cute for your own good, damn it.” He doesn’t wait for your answer before his hands are cupping your face and he’s kissing you breathless. “We could have been doing this for a long time if you just said so,” he mumbles against your lips, kissing you again.

Kissing an orc is even better than you imagined. His tusks frame your mouth perfectly and his lips are way softer than expected. He is perfect and you can’t even comprehend what he’s doing when he crouches and grabs your ass, pulling you up and walking inside, the deer he caught today left there, forgotten.

He moves around the kitchen like he owns it, and before you know it your ass is over a table and he’s kissing your neck, making goosebumps erupt on your skin. His hands are everywhere, tracing the edge of your corset, caressing your back and groping your ass over the skirt of your dress. His hands fit under the skirt and he goes up and up until his hand is over your center and you are panting, his mouth hot against your pulse point as he touches your vulnerable place.

He caresses your legs over your underpants and asks: “Can I?” His lips move against your neck when he talks and you have to suppress a tremor.

“Yes. Yes. Yes,” you chant, already pulling the skirt of your dress up to your waist as he pulls down your underpants, kissing your leg along the way.

“Have somebody ever…?” He doesn’t have to say it, you know what he means. You aren’t a blushing virgin, but you never had enough trust in anyone to let them… kiss you there.

“I never… Nobody ever… Not there,” you try to explain.

He gets it instantly, kissing your mouth until your brain is far away from your worries and his dexterous fingers find your pearl, flickering it and making you bite down on his lip. He groans and you giggle against his lips, he kneels on the floor in front of you and goes for it.

You moan very loudly as inexplicably pleasure breaks through your body, making you throw your head back and arch your back in an arch that leaves your boobs about to spill over your corset. You are sure it looks sinful from his position, but when you open your eyes the only thing you see is his face still buried between your legs, your thighs pressing against the sides of his head so strongly you are worried you are going to hurt him, but his pleased sounds are good enough to make you groan again.

You cover your mouth to avoid screaming his name as his tongue does wonders around your lucky pearl, his tusks framing your pussy in a way that leaves you breathless and ready for more at the same time. It’s wonderful and marvelous and all the adjectives you can’t even comprehend as he sucks and licks your hot center, dragging all kinds of sounds out of you.

You’ve never felt that kind of pleasure, and as it starts to peak, you don’t know what to do with all of it. You grab his hair and pull, making him grunt as his fingers dig into your hips where he’s holding you still. You are messing up his braid, but you can’t care about it as he keeps licking and fucking you with his tongue. It’s the most intense experience of your life and when the pleasure hits its peak, you have to bite down on your hand to avoid the cry that was about to leave your mouth.

He licks you through it, until your legs are trembling around his head and your pussy is pulsating in time with your heartbeat. He doesn’t stop there, he keeps milking all the pleasure out of you with such frantic need that you can’t do anything but match it. When your second orgasm hits you, the first one was still there, joining in the middle in the biggest wave of pleasure you’ve ever felt.

He kisses your pussy and your highs, not trying to make you untie your legs from around his head. His tender caresses are a contrast with the frantic devouring he just did, but it’s the best kind of contrast. You are still breathing hard and he’s still on the floor in front of you licking you clean when the door to the tavern opens with a screech.

“Dude! That’s where I make the bread!” The annoying naga screams as he opens the door just in time to see him kissing your pussy one last time.

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hotshotsxyz · 2 hours ago

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love dresses up in many ways

(buddie)(8x07 spec)(881 words) how about a little not-evil spec? as a treat title from yet another bastille song

“Buck,” Eddie says flatly as soon as he opens the door.

Buck pastes on his most charming smile. “Eddie,” he replies.

“I’m one person.” He steps back to let Buck in anyway.

“One person that’s choosing joy!” Buck reminds him sunnily, kicking the door shut behind him.

Eddie grins and leans against the wall. “I am,” he acknowledges. “Pretty sure I don’t need to overdose on baked goods to achieve that.”

“Sure you do!” Buck exclaims. “Besides, this one’s focaccia. There’s like, a vegetable in it.”

Eddie snorts and rolls his eyes. “Oh, well, if there’s a vegetable…”

“See, I knew you’d come around.” Buck makes his way into the kitchen to drop off the focaccia (and the pound cake and the brownies, but shh, who’s counting?).

“Grab a couple beers?” Eddie calls after him.

He opens the fridge and finds a six pack of a fruited wheat beer he’s never seen before and grins. It’s not that he’s actually all that excited to try You’re My Boy Blueberry Wheat Ale, but man, it’s hard to put into words just how much he likes seeing Eddie try news things just for the fun of them. There’re a few familiar sours in there, too, but fuck it. Buck grabs two of the blue-labeled bottles and heads back into the living room.

“I reserve the right to pour this out and get a new one if it’s weird,” Buck announces, popping the top off Eddie’s and handing it to him.

“Mm,” Eddie replies. He takes a tentative sip, then his face blooms into one of those easy smiles Buck’s seeing more and more of these days. “S’not weird,” he says. “It’s good.”

“Yeah?” Buck asks.

Eddie shrugs. “Guess you’ll have to try it for yourself.”

“Guess so,” Buck murmurs before taking a sip of his own.

To his genuine surprise, it is good. Better than he expected. Like maybe-his-new-favorite-beer better.

“Okay, yeah,” Buck says, dropping down onto the couch next to Eddie. “Not weird.”

Eddie grins at him, so bright that Buck kind of wants to look away, but also maybe never stop looking.

“So what inspired today’s round of baking?” Eddie asks, knocking his knee against Buck’s.

Unbidden, an image of Eddie’s bare thigh pops into Buck’s head. He brushes it away because—

Anyway, he brushes it away.

“I dunno, Eds,” Buck says with a sigh. “I just— I think I’m a little stuck. In—in my own head, I mean. About, you know, all of it.” He waves his beer around to emphasize his point and narrowly avoids spilling it. “It’s not even about him, you know? It’s what he represents.”

“Which is…” Eddie prompts.

Buck settles back into the couch and wraps his non-beer-holding arm around himself. “I don’t know. Finding whatever it is I’m missing, I guess.”

Eddie hums and takes a long sip of his beer. “What makes you think you’re missing something?” he asks finally.

Buck frowns, nonplussed. “I mean,” he says, gesturing vaguely.

“What, a couple of not-forever relationships and there’s something wrong with you?” Eddie asks and—

“Five,” Buck says dully. “Five not-forever relationships.” Yeah, he’s pretty sure there’s something wrong with him.

“Buck,” Eddie says softly. From anyone else, it would feel chastising. From Eddie, it’s just… comfortable.

“Well what do you think it is?” Buck asks.

“I think,” Eddie says slowly, “that I’m probably the least helpful person you could possibly ask for relationship advice.”

Buck rolls his eyes. “M’not asking you about relationships, I’m asking you about me.”

“Ah, well, in that case,” Eddie says teasingly.

Despite himself, Buck smiles. “Just—what is it that makes me so—” Easy to leave? Hard to love? He can’t quite bring himself to voice either thought.

Eddie frowns like he heard them anyway. “Whatever it is, I like it,” he says with a shrug.

Buck blinks. “You… like that I keep getting dumped?”

“No, obviously not, Buck,” Eddie says, turning to shoot him an exasperated look. “I like you,” he continues. “Whatever it is your exes were too stupid to love about you, I do.”

All the air seems to leave the room. It’s—one time, in high school, Buck was slammed into the ground so hard during a football game that for a few seconds, he was literally incapable of breathing. This feels a little—a lot—like that.

“Eddie,” he croaks.

He shrugs again, like he didn’t just say the most insane, incredible, intense thing Buck’s ever heard.

“I like you the way you are,” Eddie reiterates. “You don’t need to make yourself less to be loved. The right person will get that.”

Buck swallows. “You think?” he manages.

“I know,” Eddie says emphatically.

Buck opens his mouth and closes it again. It’s just—it isn’t something he hasn’t heard before. Hell, Eddie’s said it more that once before. He just feels—

It’s like there’s something in his chest that’s dying to break loose, some incredible revelation that’s just around the corner. But for all he pokes and prods at it, it won’t come any sooner. There’s something, though.

Maybe he does just need to let the universe do it’s thing. In the meantime, he’s sitting next to Eddie on the only couch he’s ever really felt completely comfortable on. It’s enough.

#911 #911 spec #buddie #buddiefic #buddie fic #911fic #911 fic #fic #abbie writes

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jamiepaige · 23 hours ago

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Constant Companions Closeup #3: ROT FOR CLOUT

youtube

(also on bandcamp and spotify!)

WHAT'S going on guys, welcome back to another Constant Companions Closeup, the show where we take a DEEP DIVE into what makes these tunes tick! Last episode, we went aaaaaall the way there on Not Quite There, and today, we're making that liggity-line go up up up up up with ROT FOR CLOUT featuring VISUALEYES!! Before we get started, remember to SMASH that like button, SLAM subscribe, and FUCK the bell icon. This week's community challenge: leave your credit card info in the comments! Bet you won't!

(*cough*)

---

I check my notifications way too fucking much. It's a habit I'm trying to curb, and to my credit, I am doing better lately, but being chemically predisposed to dopamine deficiencies has done a number on my ability to go five minutes without checking the funny glowing numbers on my phone. Naturally, I also very much seek more validation than I should from the opinions of strangers yadayadayada yeah that's what the song is about but none of that actually has to do with why I started writing this song in the first place.

Have you ever taken a flight with American Airlines?

This was after waking up at 4 in the morning to fly out of Houston thinking I'd be napping on a couch in Ohio by 2 pm at the latest.

I want to make one thing clear here, and that's that I made this bed for myself. Tucked the sheets in and all. You see, on the rare occasions I fly, I normally take Southwest. Southwest does not overbook flights like a lot of other airlines do, so it's a practice I am mostly unfamiliar with. So, when I received a notification on my phone promising genuinely ridiculous amounts of flight credit money in exchange for taking a slightly later flight, I thought - well, shit! That sounds nice!

This is how they trick you. I didn't really realize I'd been tricked until I was on my second flight of the day, sitting in a middle seat at the very back of the plane, heading from Dallas, a city I don't live in, to Washington, DC, a city I was not trying to get to, staring down the barrel of another flight I was destined to get on that had been delayed like two fucking hours.

I became the Joker. All I could do to remain sane was write a song about it. This is how ROT FOR CLOUT came to be.

I guess the moral of the story is this: Don't go to Ohio. And to answer your question,

Yes I am

Not really

---

This is a complete sidenote but I want to mention it here: I'm genuinely overjoyed at the amount of people excitedly talking about my songwriting or the intention behind my lyrics. For a long time, it really felt like lyricism was the last thing people cared about from me, while it was always the thing I wanted to take pride in the most... So genuinely, thank you everyone for caring!! Every single fire emoji people have put next to a line I've written has extended my lifespan by multiple years

There's a brief little moment where the song's chords leave the key, doing a really stereotypically jazzy 2-5 movement, and it's one of my favorite parts of the entire song. I'm not really a music theory buff or anything, and I'm certainly not formally trained, but I've always been very passionate about more complicated harmony in otherwise poppy and accessible contexts - bo en's album pale machine really rewrote my brain when I first heard it.

On that note, there are microtones in the vocal melody - During the chorus, some of the rapidly repeated words move up in quarter tones! Possibly the simplest way I could've included microtonality, but I'm genuinely afraid if I learn more than what I already know about it I'll be lost to the darkness.

Obviously, the work of Sasuke Haraguchi was a massive influence on this song, particularly the song Igaku. I think basically everyone on the entire planet has picked up on that at this point, but I do also wanna point out some other songs that were on my mind at the time! (two for three on these posts mentioning louis cole now)

I'd also like to take a moment to spotlight the vocal samples on this! They previously appeared on エビチャーハン!, and they've honestly become some of my favorite samples to throw in things. They're also just a fucking goldmine sincerely

Finally, HUGE thanks to Visualeyes for the delightful synth solo on this!! I had put out a call on Twitter looking for instrumentalists, genuinely originally envisioning a super jazzy piano solo, but their synth playing genuinely brought the whole song together perfectly!

That's about it for this song - though again, if there are any more questions people have, I'd be happy to answer them in the replies to this post or elsewhere!! (*ahem*) THAT'S gonna do it for today's video, folks! Feel free to leave a like, comment, hit the subscribe button for more and click the bell so you don't miss any new videos. Tomorrow? I Wish That I Could Fall. it hurts.

#music #jamie paige #bandcamp #constant companions #behind da scenes #Youtube

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fox-daddy · 10 hours ago

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I have six Mc's broken down into the main trio and the secondary trio. I'm going to full out a form I found for my main trio of Mc's. (I would do all six but the form is long and also sorry it's so long.)

IT KEEPS TURNING RANDOM LETTERS BLACK SO PLESE PRETEND EACH CHARACTER'S PART IS ONE COLOR BECAUSE FUCK TUMBLR

First Name: Kyle Last Name: Boivin Gender: Trans-male Age: around 2 years younger than Asra Sexual Orientation: Pan Birthday: 2nd of February Main love interest; Asra Secondary love interest; Nadia Who they can be shipped with; Muriel, Portia, and Lucio Who they can't be shipped with; Julian

Appearance Eye Color(s): segmental heterochromia in both eyes. Making them look mostly blue with patches of bright green. Hair Color: bright red the same shade as Nazali Hair Style(s): similar to Asra but slightly less curly and more spikey Skin tone: closest to Muriel being only slightly lighter than his skin tone. However if you look closely you can see he has freckles of darker and lighter skin. With the darker freckles easier to see than the lighter ones you have to look closely to see. Body type: A mix between Portia and Muriel being slightly more on the chubby side but less so than Portia. (Which obligatory theirs nothing wrong with Portia's size she is great but this is for Kyle) Height:4'4

About him Personality: Kyle is genuinely a sweet person. However due to his height and his clothing choice he likes to act adorable and innocent. When in reality he is aware of what's going on way more than he lets on. Using his cute appearance and attitude to trick people into revealing more than they realize. Since he knows to be sweet and cute he also has to be able to defend himself from those who would love nothing more than to use him for their own gain. Hobbies: Reading, bird watching, animal watching, writing, magic and in general just learning new things Allergies: none Fear(s): pure darkness (like more so than normal nighttime darkness), being completely utterly alone (more than just being left alone in a house or shop), fire (which also fascinates him) and heights

Family and Friends Parent(s): Light (mum) (alive) and TBN(adoptive dad) (dead) Sibling(s): Silver (twin) (alive), Tui (adoptive older sister) (alive) and Albatross (adoptive older brother) (alive) Relative(s): Jade (aunt) (dead) Best Friend(s): Hunter Friend(s): Bluebell, Hunter, and Fauna familiar(s): Kea named Kai and a dragon named Emerald. (Emerald can't breath anything being a species of dragon from Kyle's homeland)

Extra Scent: forest after rain, moist wood and rain Outfit(s): silver shirt/pants with yellow trim illusioned to look like gold Accessories: He usually carries a shoulder bag with a lot of items in it for daily use Scars: pair of scars on his shoulders that look like their from a giant bird because they are

Favorites Theme Song/Quote: Try again tomorrow Favorite Food(s): Pancakes and Blueberries Favorite Drink(s): Apple cider and applejuice Favorite Color(s): Purple/Green Favorite Animal(s): Dragons (crows) Favorite Number: 8 Favorite Season(s): Spring

First Name: Hunter Gender: They/them Age: between Julian and Portia Sexual Orientation: Bi Birthday: 20th August Main love interest; Muriel Secondary love interest; Julian Who they can be shipped with; Muriel, Portia, and Lucio Who they can't be shipped with; Nadia

Appearance Eye Color(s): blood red Hair Color: Black (dyed, naturally white) Hair Style(s): Long and straight Skin tone: a pale as you could possible be Body type: closest to Muriel Height: 5'4 Extra; They are an albino and yes I know red eyes isn't that accurate to humans and technically they should be blue but it looks cool so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also I do have another albino Mc called Sora who makes up for this by having pale blue eyes

About them Personality: They have a lot of pent up anger since from an extremely young age they were taught how to fight and kill. Using those skills until they settled down in Vesuvia either as the Mc where they started to learn how to deal with that anger or where they used it to deal with problem customers in bars. Hobbies:(when the Mc carving, reading, making tea, magic) (When not the Mc fighting, drinking, defending the weak and those who refuse to defend themselves and putting people in their place.) Allergies: very mildly to sunlight (which doesn't help their already ungodly pale skin) Fear(s): blood

Family and Friends Parent(s): Never meet them (was sold when they were too young to remember) Best Friend(s): Kyle and Bluebell familiars(s): a goldfish named Goldy and a red-tailed black cockatoo named Ruby

Extra Scent: The best way to describe it is burning wood. A sort of smokey wood smell. Outfit(s): black clothes that cover as much skin as possible. Long shirt/pants/jacket. Think Julian if instead of leather gloves it was long sleeves and instead of leather boots it was long pants with sneakers. Accessories: A single necklace that looks like it's made of glass with their goldfish familiar inside it. (it is actually made of metal and just enchanted to look/feel like glass) Scars: Yes (I like to joke that every time you look at them the scars have changed but the important part is they are COVERED in scars head to toe no part of their body doesn't have scars)

Favorites Theme Song/Quote: All hail Shadow Favorite Food(s): dragonfruit Favorite Drink(s): (when Mc tea any tea) (when not the Mc vodka) Favorite Color(s): black Favorite Animal(s): Wolf Favorite Number: 69 (nice) Favorite Season(s): Winter

First Name: Bluebell Last Name: Snowfield Nickname: Blue, B Gender: They/them Age: a few years younger than Lucio (details unknown) Sexual Orientation: Bi Birthday: 1st of September Main love interest; Lucio Secondary love interest; Muriel Who they can be shipped with; Nadia, Julian, Portia, and Asra Who they can't be shipped with; nobody (They can be shipped with all the M6)

Appearance Eye Color(s): Bright blue Hair Color: Bright blue Hair Style(s): Long and messy (it's always messy) Skin tone: Basically the same as Portia Body type: Has almost the exact same build as Julian being all legs Height: 6'4 Extra; They have a pair of blue wings, tail with blue feathers at the end and if you took a normal human ear and an elf ear and made the difference up with blue feathers

About them; Personality: Bluebell is absolutely shy hating any attention put on them. Under that they are a sweet and caring person who basically acts like the mother of the group. Like(s): Animals, nature, healing Allergies: Mildly allergic to bee stings and alcohol (can still drink and get drunk they just get a bit red when they drink.) Fear(s): insects and spiders

Family and Friends Parent(s): refuses to say if they have parents (they do) Sibling(s): Has no idea if they have siblings Best Friend(s): Hunter, Kyle and Fauna Familiars(s): a house sparrow called Chirps

Extra Scent: They smell like anxiety Outfit(s): Blue (dresses, long shirts/pants all blue) Scars: Due to their incredibly strong healing magic they don't have scars

Favorites Theme Song/Quote: Tobu - If I Disappear (stg this song is more them than the other's theme songs omfg this is Bluebell) Favorite Food(s): bread Favorite Drink(s): water Favorite Color(s): Blue (shocker I know) Favorite Animal(s): Can't pick one Favorite Number: 3 Favorite Season(s): autumn

Show me your mcs

I haven't been in the fandom for a while but I'm curious if it's still active around her or not (? So, if you have them, please show me your mc /ocs and tell me a little bit about them 🙏🏼🥹

This is mine, here name is Serein and that big bear is her familiar, Ursan. Her LI is Asra and she's a healer.

#the arcana oc #the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana mc #mc kyle #mc hunter #mc bluebell

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thatfrailsoul · 19 hours ago

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– If you love me, then love me from the heart

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

pictures from pinterest → one, two, three

Slow down for a moment. Give your conscious mind a moment of rest, allow it to step back. Instead, listen to your subconscious mind, to that inner voice, to the intuition that is guiding you to the pile in which your message hides. A message about the love that your heart is longing for. The one that you are hoping to find…

This is our third reading from our divination jukebox, inspired by possibly one of the most beautiful songs that I've ever heard - "Yağmur Yağar Taş Üstüne" by Mustafa Güzel and Batuhan Fırat (feat. Belkıs Güzel). I'm so deeply grateful for the person that suggested this song and gave us the possibility not only to discover it, but also to have such a deep and tender message through this reading. It is difficult to find the correct translation for this song, but I strongly encourage you to listen and read it, as it is simply magical in the softest way. I will leave you the links that were recommended to me here, in case you would like to listen to it. And if you would like to see a pick a pile reading inspired by your favourite song, you can discover more about how to participate here↓♡!

♪♡♪ Divination Jukebox ♪♡♪

P.s. This is my first attempt at a longer reading, so if you feel comfortable please let me know in the comments what you think of it! If you prefer the shorter ones, if there is any aspect of the reading that makes it difficult for you to read it, or in case you will take a look at the extended version of this reading, if you would prefer to have something more specific in the additional messages of our readings - I will cherish your opinion and use it to get better with each post!♡

– Pile One,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the magician, the seven of swords, the page of coins

Love… you so often consider it just a feeling. A feeling that after all these years alive you still can really connect only to your own self. To you who seems to be the only one to feel it. To give it. While all that others do is receive it from you. Giving you back some gratitude perhaps, but never something that feels like what you gave them. Nothing that really fills in that part of you that was emptied for them… Making you really wonder if perhaps you got it wrong for all this time, if what you considered love never was it. If you imagined and expected it to be more, made it be more. Giving others much more than any person could ever give you in return, more than you ever should've done…

All that attention, that care, that genuine dedication that you put in, time after time, for every soul that was close, going out of your way to be there, right by their side for whatever might come… But still standing alone when facing your hardships, your difficult moments. Only you on the first line, out there in the cold, just you against this world… You genuinely never thought that this is what love would be. You expected something different from what you always received from others before. A complete opposite of having to do everything on your own, of that fear of what will happen to you if one day things in your life won't work anymore. You thought that it should be different from that because you know for sure that all those years of struggle alone never had even a bit of love in them, not from the people that were all that time around and close to you, but never did anything to help you, apart from telling you that this is how it works and that you should grow and take care of yourself on your own.

You alway imagined it, in those dark and painful nights, a hug, a caressing hand, a soft voice that assures you that everything will be okay, that it won't be forever this way, that you are not alone but you will always have them… So you did your best to be deserving, manifesting those tender and loving ways through your own self. Through the way you looked after others, the way you cared for them. Not only knowing that this is the right way to treat others, the way you genuinely want to be, but that it will be also worth it, that you will one day feel the love you gave, through others that will do the same… But it never came. You never saw your reflection in them, you never saw that part of your heart that you gave away being nourished and taken care of… it was always mostly just appreciated in the moment. And forgotten. Or worst, taken advantage of by expecting or asking more. So after all these tears, all the days dedicated to others instead of yourself, all your prayers for help and support, just a little comfort, that you never received because they are too busy to take a moment to give you back that love that you never declined them…. You started to think that you are in the wrong. That the love you always waited for is just a dream that the real concept of love can’t live up to. No matter how much you can look for it or want it. It is simply not something possible. And you are asking for too much.

{ What this is all for }

the judgement, the ace of swords, the lovers

This world, this life in general… has a really unique way of helping us to learn, of guiding us in or through the right direction and path, of letting us know that everything will be alright… Their language is so different from ours that we really struggle to understand it, those words that come in the form of pure feelings directly from within us. The ones that we should trust the most but never do so. Especially when it comes to love, something that we so much idealise, something that we have so much desire for.

Your heart is so sincerely tired, it went through so many betrayals and wounds inflicted by those that you tried to love. To the point that it simply feels that heaviness, that weight of this experience that you never really wanted to begin with. So you feel like you are ready for something else, for that love that you did all of this for, if it even exists at all. But are you really sure of it..? Of knowing so well the person that you would like to have by your side each day, their character, their behaviour, their values? Are you sure that you really did look for them and not just anyone who seemed to be able to love? Are you sure that you really know your worth and the one of your love, how one must love you in order to really give you all that your heart needs and wants? Or did you think that you knew it before, and now you are settling for much less than you are deserving of, because of the overwhelming loneliness and fear that it will be this way for the rest of your days unless you accept whatever one gives you in return? Are you sure that you are remaining loyal to your own self and your soul, instead of trying to “sell” it to whoever is close and good enough?

Because, even though perhaps you are not doing it consciously, but you are changing. Little by little. Not in terms of who you are, but in the ones of who you allow others to consider you. Leaving it up to them to decide how much you deserve, what is the worth of your love and care that you give them after letting them in, where only the most sincere, genuine and trustworthy should belong. You just give them your all. Every single time. Without any limit or hesitation. Not even when all that you receive is another rude phrase, some judgement, coldness and distance once they got up and healed thanks to your love. You just do it. For everyone. Not choosing carefully, but treating every soul as the right one. And not in a good sense. Instead, you are not listening anymore to your own intuition or feelings, not trusting your own mind that recognises the things that are too off. You are just rushing in this hunt for “the one” as the time passes and you feel more and more scared and alone. You are throwing yourself at every possible connection, all in, wandering each time that it goes wrong what you did too little or too much of. And not realising anymore that it is not about how you love, if it is in the right way or the wrong one… But rather who you choose, even force yourself, to love. And how they are simply not the right one, no matter how much you sacrifice of your own values and preferences, just to make them fit in the place that it is not theirs to hold.

All these bad endings, failures, mistakes that you consider yours to be responsible for… Are just a natural consequence of you settling for less than you really desire and need in order to feel loved. All that sadness, that loneliness… are only your subconscious, your own heart that you willingly ignored at first, but that after some time managed to be heard by you, letting you know that the way you are treated, the crumbs that you accept, will never truly be enough.

Those endings, those coincidences that are never in your favour, those interferences in your connections from the outside world… are just its efforts to protect you and communicate with you, trying to show you that refusing your own standards is not what can help you find them, that right person that you can truly feel safe and understood with… Adapting to another person and changing, it is not what will make them love you like you want. It will only keep you stuck in a play pretend. Put you in situations and relationships that you won’t feel appreciated and cherished in. It will consume you from inside out, slowly but surely, just because that one time you believed more others, than your own self that always knew what was best and right for you, what you really wanted to feel and who you wanted to have with you…

The time already passed, you already got through so much. You can’t do anything about it, and it is alright. But you can do yourself a favour and listen again to your own heart, before following that overwhelming fear and anxiety of being left alone in the cold and the dark. Your heart, your love, they are unique. But not at all the only ones. There is a soul, out there, that is your perfect reflection, someone who resonates so much with your ways of feeling love. And you can and will find them. The moment you stop seeing all that happened and you went through as the mistakes you made, ways that you can be better by being more or less… And start to see them as simply were and when the things didn't feel right for your heart, for who you are. Because those things that you felt the lack of, or perhaps as though it is just too much, are the ones that you need to hold onto, to look for in others. Instead of ignoring them, just so you can fit in the perfect version of love of someone and they can accept you, even though you are not theirs to love…

Although it seems so easy to do through words… We know too well that sometimes it is not enough to just choose to listen to our heart more. It is not always enough when we, in a certain way, forget its language, when we are not able anymore to comprehend it and separate it from the voice of our mind that we learned to follow… For this reason, there is an additional message for you, if you want to, in our extended version of this reading. What you need to know and remember as you continue on this journey, in this search of the right person for you, but also of the confidence and trust in your own heart, that will be the things that will change everything about the situation in which you are now.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

– Pile Two,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the wheel of fortune, the sun, the devil

It happened so many times… So often you felt overwhelmed, completely overtaken, by the life of someone you loved… Their problems, their difficulties, their fears that became yours. Yours to resolve, yours to take care of, yours to endure, even though you never could really influence them, not the things that depended on their actions, their decisions. Not when it was something that was purely theirs to create, destroy and live… It happened so many times, truly. You felt so often the urge to be there for someone, just because you knew them, just because you saw their struggle and couldn't help but to try to save them. Because this is what everyone deserves, yes… But with those that had a special place in your heart, those that you felt so close to you, so needed as the air you breathe, there never was a chance for you to say no. Not when your heart so ardently fought for them each day, no matter if it was your battle, your victory to take or not.

One by one they took a part of your life from you, gladly accepting your love, your support and help. And leaving it all to you, to your heart and mind that never were supposed to live so many lives, go through so many situations and emotions, bear so many consequences that were coming from actions that simply weren't yours. And they took it from you. That time and energy, the courage and strength that otherwise would have gone to you, to your own healing, growth and protection. They took it all from you and, worst of all, they were able to do so thanks to you. You who gave it to them, all that you had, in the name of the love that you felt. You that not even once regretted it. Not in the moment at least…

They took so much from you, making you get used to it, to have so little, to give away so much… That now, for once, you want to find someone different. Someone who will not take advantage of your heart. Someone who will understand that, no matter how much you want and try, it is not the right thing to leave it all up to you, to handle their life… Someone who, for once, just knows more, knows better. Someone who can teach you, gently, softly, as they protect you from your own self, from your own urge to disintegrate yourself for the happiness and safety of someone else.

For once… you want to be overwhelmed by someone's joy, their hope, their desire to be here and to live this life. Their strength to choose to see the best aspects of the things. Their strength to be patient, to have faith, to believe that everything will work out in the end. For once you want to receive that strength, not to give it away. For once you want to be protected, guided, as you trust someone who doesn't expect you to lead the way out of the darkness of their days…

It might sound selfish to some, so entitled to look for someone who has it all figured out, who has better and more control of their life… But you are simply tired. And a little lost, if one can say the truth. Tired of figuring everything out constantly, keeping others above the water, as they push you down, never thinking of the air they are taking away from you. It’s not about an easier life, about receiving constant help or guidance, leaving it up to others to make the choice for you… It is about just wanting to have something that is left for your own self too. A little time, a little love, that you can give yourself without being afraid that in the meantime someone would get upset or hurt. You just want to be able to take care of yourself too, not only of those that you love, of your connections, of your situations, that seem to be destroyed each moment you are not looking after them. You just want to have someone that is by your side, living their life, instead of living yours that becomes so scarily about them, their necessities, their dreams, their worry and losses. You just want someone to learn from, or together, how to live this life in the most right and healthy, loving way. Not to teach it. While you yourself don't have any idea of how you are still here, how you made it until now every day.

{ Will you ever find someone like them }

the justice, the eight of wands, the queen of wands

This new and almost desperate desire in your heart now, might feel a lot like frustration, the last realisation of how things should've been when everything already happened, when it is too late to change them… But instead of a tragic end, it is more of a hopeful and promising beginning. The one that you are creating with your each thought, with each moment of understanding of what it is that you really want to feel, when sharing your love. The taste of it, the feeling, the emotions it can give you. With each found answer in your heart you are changing your life, much more than you expect now. Because it really is all about your choices. Your decision of who you will be accepting into your life from now on.

There is a part of you that is growing, getting stronger, preparing to be vigilant and serious about its duty: the one to protect your heart. One little thought created by the tiredness, the sadness of all that you endured… was enough to move the waves of the whole world, of the reality around you. Of who will be brought right to you, and who will be pulled back, not being the right ones. Changing your connections one step, one person at a time. Giving you back the right to decide for yourself, making you remember that you can in fact do it, you can choose the ones dear to your heart.

And it won’t be delusion, entitlement, selfishness, or any sort of limit that you will put on your heart… It will be just you, all grown up, who will now know that it is okay to not take it all on yourself, whatever and whoever comes, because of the fear of what not doing it will cause. It will be your understanding that people can and will make it through on their own, even if they are so afraid or feel incapable of facing their life right now. And it will be also your acceptance that not every story you hear is yours to live, to feel, to make sure it has a good ending. Not everyone is yours to protect and help. Not everyone has the right to come before your own self.

It might be a change that will take its time to settle in, especially in your heart that is just so full of love. Love that you didn't give yourself for so long, pouring it all in the needing hands of those by your side. But it will happen. It will feel safe and right, to allow yourself to choose how much the realities of others influence your life. And as you will go through it, as you will seek that courage and strength… It will be enough to remember that everything will be okay. Even in those moments of uncertainty, it will be enough to hold on tight to the message that we will receive, if you want to, in the extended version of this reading. A message about how you can and will change your life.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

– Pile Three,

{ The love that you are longing for }

the ten of wands, the star, the death

It is so difficult to need to explain yourself, your actions, your urges, your reactions. It is tiring to open up your mind and your heart sharing them with others, again and again. Just for them to not understand it, to not pay the slightest of attention, to not take it seriously, all those things that are still consuming your soul… It just feels so useless to go through it, to come out of your comfort zone so hopeful that they would be that right person… only to see them walk away, who scared, who uncomfortable, who deluded or bored. Leaving you feeling like a poor seller who is unable to demonstrate the worth of your broken, lived, soul. When you don't even want to do it in the first place. When it is so ridiculous that you need constantly and so fiercely to defend or explain your wounds, as if they didn't already hurt enough.

It just consumes you. Consumes your every desire to go out there, interact and try to connect with people, creating with such dedication a relationship that - you know it too well - will just be destroyed. By your own past, your own frail soul that is too difficult for others to manage, to use or control. Too delicate to do anything with it without hurting it more.

Deep down you know that not every single person you met was truly so evil at their core. But it still hurts you like hell, being rejected, just put aside, simply because of the way you feel so strongly and deeply every detail about this world. Just because you have more depth to your feelings, more power to the emotions that simply overwhelm you, good or bad, every single bit of them that fills you whole. And that you welcome and feel completely, still remembering how cold and dark it was when there weren't any emotions in you at all.

It just would've been much easier, for once, to not have the need to defend yourself, the way you became. If for once the one in front of you focused on who you are now, and not on who you were or who you could become if only you suppress your soul. Because you changed, yes, and it might be sad to not have that spark that others adored so much about you anymore. But the you who survived still and always deserves the same admiration and love, perhaps even more, after all that you were able to endure. This you who is so different is still you. The you who gave you the strength and courage to face it all. The you who shouldn't at all be forced to explain yourself to those that can't even do one thing: just listen to you, hear you truly, at least for once.

Because it is not so difficult, in the end, to just accept someone and love them for the way they are, without any if or but. You know it well, because you always did it and always do with everyone that is close to you. But while they can be themselves, knowing that they will be truly safe with you, their every wound that will be taken care of without any judgement or expectation to receive something in return… You are always asked to be less or more. To hide your pain, to be more joyful. To not react too much to the things that hurt you. To, instead, be more understanding and patient, accepting, of the ways of others. Even though they never tolerate yours.

So you remain here, among so many of them but still feeling so lonely, so trapped, exactly like it used to feel before. You still are being hurt, even though you had so much courage in not hiding yourself, your scars. Even though you learned to have the needed strength to stand your ground when others didn't see that they were stepping on your heart… And you still hope. That one day, somewhere and someone, for once will just feel drawn to you. Not a memory of you or your potential change. Just someone who, for once, is gentle and kind in their ways. Not because you asked them to, not because they were forced by your tears… But just because they are connected enough to their own heart. Enough to recognise the painfully familiar stories behind your tired and scared eyes. Just one person, just one single time would be enough. Just one single moment in which you would feel loved and cherished the way you are, even with all those fears and doubts that everyone has always something to say about. Just one true and genuine connection. One single chance for your heart to find again the hope that you, exactly the way you are now after all your battles, not less not more, will be enough.

{ You are not in the wrong }

the page of coins, the strength, the six of cups

Finally standing up for yourself, taking your defence, pushing back those that don't make you anymore feel safe… it took a lot of courage, especially when every decision that was already hard enough was also met with judgement, with pure rage, just because for once you weren't ready to be there for someone else. But while you thought that the worst part will be this, finding the strength to prioritise yourself, the most difficult part revealed itself to be resisting the urge to take all your words back, bowing your head, surrendering to discourses of others about how you shouldn't ever do that again, and coming back to your old and consumed self, asking it to endure it once again. But this time with the full awareness of how it is wrong, to give away so much of you, remaining with so little that it is never enough to take care of your own heart and mind…

You are resisting it now with all your strength, but the single thought that they might be right, that you are indeed acting too selfishly, is already enough to shake you to your core, to fill you with the pure terror that you might be becoming one of those that hurt you, coming down to their level without realising what you've done.

But you are not. I promise you. There is nothing wrong in putting yourself first for once. There are no mistakes when you are acting from your heart, from the pure desire to protect yourself now that you are realising that it all just has been too much. You are not the villain here, even if perhaps there isn't one among them either. There is no evil in knowing what you deserve and want, and not accepting nothing less from others, even if they so perfectly mask it with words like “It is the way I love”, “This is the best for you, the best you can ever find or hope for”...

You’ve endured a lot, so much that it is truly non conceivable and admissible that someone belittles it. That someone doesn't give it the importance and incredibly powerful and heart wrenching meaning that you surviving all of that holds. Don't stop for them, for their fears that you will change. Because it has already happened, in the good and in the bad. And if someone can't accept and respect the new you, if they, even in the name of their love, can't accept you… then it is okay. There will be someone else. Someone else who will meet you, get to know you, and learn to appreciate and cherish you for the way you are now, not a memory of who you were.

It might be sad to let go of some people, to lose some connections. It might be frustrating to see their absolute conviction that you are the one in the wrong… But you are tired now, you feel weak after needing to fight against them again and again just to protect yourself… so don't waste your last remaining energy on them, on proving them wrong when they already ended this story as it is more convenient for them in their head. Let them go. Let them be. Not to allow them to think that they are right. But for your own self and to give you that space and time to rest and recover, to take care of yourself.

This world is vast, there are so many of us. Remaining now for a moment alone… doesn't at all condemn you to have all the days of your life lonely and cold. It is just a phase, just a precious moment that will sign a new step in your growth, in how much you consider your own worth and protect yourself at all costs. People come and go. Some are good and some are not. But you are unique, you are the only one you have, the most important person that you need to love and take care of. Even if it means to not accept the love of others, simply because it is so different from what you are longing for. Even if it means to reject the company that you so much want, because they never offer it genuinely but only when it is so convenient and needed for them.

Times will change, you'll start new journeys, go through different paths that will align with others, new and completely different persons. And you'll create new connections, better ones. Better because of the ways and motives of those that will come closer. Better because you will be much more rested, healed and confident after this focus on yourself and this pause. Better because there won't be any play pretend, endurance or feelings that will be ignored. It will be better. Simply because you will learn from your mistakes, you will grow. And so will those that you will let go of, but not at your own expense and endurance of the way your heart hurts for them. Because they might not realise it now, they might be so convinced that you are the one hurting them… but you are making the best decision not only for your own self, but even for them. You are giving all of you a new chance. A chance that you for sure will take and use it to nourish a new beginning in your life, new connections that will love you, cherish you, protect you at all costs. Exactly like it should be between truly loving souls.

And if it feels still a little too overwhelming, a little too scary and unsure, the decision to put yourself first… There is a little message about the future, at what it holds, in our extended version of this reading, right here, if you want or feel the need to hear more.♡↓

{ a little message for you }

—

81 notes · View notes

creamflix · 2 days ago

Text

choso x reader; no implied reader gender. angst, limited superficial comfort. established relationship. implied (past) choso x yuki. choso is half-human who does not understand social cues, but could be read as gaslighting/manipulation? lol. based on a true incident :pensive: — masterlist here ☆

being with choso was like getting to see the world through brand-new eyes. the way he marveled at even the simplest things — a cup of coffee, a sunset, a song — lit up your life in ways you never expected. he’d sit there, wide-eyed, eager to learn and feel, and you were there for it all, guiding him through the maze of human experience. it felt special, something unique to you both, a bond deepened by moments only you could share.

so when that song came on, the one that was supposed to be yours, it was like a rush of warmth, like another page added to the story you were writing together. the melody swept you up, reminding you of quiet nights, gentle laughter, and whispered promises that you thought belonged only to you and him.

but then, out of nowhere, he smiled, that soft, almost bashful look he always gave you when he was remembering something dear.

“you know, yuki played this for me the first time,” he said, voice light, as if he’d just shared a fond memory.

the words crashed over you, your chest tightening as if the air had been sucked from the room. yuki played this?

the image of her, casual, confident, teaching him the meaning behind this song flashed unbidden in your mind, and suddenly, the song you thought was yours didn’t feel like it anymore.

you tried to keep the smile on your face, the one he loved, the one he looked for whenever he felt unsure. but the hurt simmered under your skin, an ache spreading through you that he couldn’t possibly understand. you swallowed hard, feeling your pulse in your throat.

“yuki introduced you to it?”

choso nodded, oblivious to the turmoil brewing within you, still wearing that innocent smile. “yeah… she thought it suited me.” he chuckled softly, completely unaware of the weight behind your question. “she said it reminded her of family. guess that’s why i thought of you when i heard it again.”

family.

the word rang hollow as it slipped from his mouth, the meaning of it different than it should’ve been. you wanted to feel special to him, to have your own corner of his heart.

but now it felt like you were picking up pieces of memories he’d already formed with someone else.

“oh,” you managed, voice low, trying to sound casual even as the words scraped out. “i thought it… i thought it was our song.”

he tilted his head, brows knitting in that familiar look of confusion. “it is, isn’t it?” he asked, his gaze warm and unassuming. “i mean, it makes me think of you now.”

you forced a smile, but something about his innocence cut even deeper. he didn’t realize what it meant, didn’t understand that he was treading over something you’d thought belonged to just the two of you. to him, it was just a song, another piece of his experience, while to you, it was part of your connection, a bridge between your worlds.

“yeah,” you whispered, more to yourself than to him, “but it’s not… it’s not the same.”

choso blinked, concern flickering in his eyes as he noticed the strain in your voice. “what’s wrong?” he asked, leaning closer, his expression open, worried. “did i… did i say something bad?”

you wanted to say yes, to tell him that this hurt, that it felt like sharing something you could never get back.

but then you saw his face, that wide-eyed sincerity that had always drawn you to him, and you couldn’t bring yourself to lay it all out.

he wouldn’t understand.

how could he? he was trying so hard, learning to open himself up, and here you were, tangled in feelings he couldn’t yet grasp.

“no, it’s��” you forced a laugh, hating the way it sounded hollow, even to your own ears. “it’s fine, choso. i just… i thought it was different.”

he reached for your hand, his grip gentle as his thumb traced comforting circles along your skin. “i only think of you when i hear it now,” he said, earnestly. “doesn’t that make it ours?”

your throat tightened, a bitterness you couldn’t name rising in your chest. he didn’t get it, and maybe he never would.

this wasn’t about a song, not really — it was about feeling like part of him in a way that no one else could touch. but he didn’t understand why it mattered so much, didn’t understand what it was like to feel like an afterthought in someone else’s memories.

you swallowed, brushing your thumb over his hand in return, forcing yourself to smile, to meet his gaze even though it felt like you were cracking.

“yeah,” you lied, trying to smooth out the hurt with words you didn’t quite believe, “i guess that makes it ours.”

but as the song continued, filling the silence between you, it didn’t feel like it was yours at all. instead, it felt like something you’d borrowed, a memory that didn’t truly belong to you.

and as you sat there, feeling the weight of everything left unsaid, you realized this wound wasn’t one he could ever heal.

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pookietv · 3 days ago

Text

encore! | arthur hill

literally got this ask like a couple hours but i had ideas for it so figured the dedication to the grind was worth it :)

been so long since i've written a smau, so i hope you enjoy! i may be slightly rusty

liked by yourinstagram, arthurtv and 7,389 others

arthurnfhill: the kill hill tour has started better than i could have ever asked for :)

georgeclarkeey: who is that sexy man on stage??

↳ arthurnfhill: can't wait for you to be my sexy groupie at the london show

username3: KILL HILL IS GONNA BE SO GOOD!!!!

username4: can't wait for manchester omg

liked by shannonlangdon, arthurnfhill and 6,093 more

yourusername: soooo what if i said i was impulsively dropping a song tomorrow night because i need to get the song off my chest and i can't wait until the supposed release date of next month ...?

it's called francis forever, and it's brought me a lot of peace to throw myself into completely making this song over the past few weeks

ANYWAYS here's a presave link if you care about that sort of thing,

hope you enjoy!

love, y/n.

jamesmarriott: we're getting SPOILED with another y/n banger

↳ yourusername: how do you know banger you haven't even heard yet ??? hmmm???

↳ jamesmarriott: you only drop bangers and thats FACTUAL

taliamar: UGH you are my icon

↳ yourusername: thats funny cause you're mine ???

username5: my heart is BREAKING at the caption

username6: omg if this is a breakup song i will do something violent.

liked by chrismd, georgeclarkeey and 7383 others

arthurnfhill: i can't believe there is only four more shows of the kill hill tour - feels like i was waiting forever for the tour to come around and now its almost done just like that!

chrismd: london show night one and two rolling around real quick

↳ arthurnfhill: missed me in the flat?

↳ chrismd: all you did before you left was mope around so not much change

arthurtv: my goat

↳ arthurnfhill: can't wait to see the number one most popular arthur on famous birthdays in person again

username7: CAN'T WAIT FOR LONDON SHOWS

username8: manchester was AMAZING omg

liked by arthurnfhill, georgeclarkeey and 5739 others

yourusername: as requested - my one night only london show! it was amazing to see so many of you guys there, makes this whole music thing so much more surreal :,)

username9: girl are you just gonna ignore the fact that ARTHUR AND GEORGE WERE THERE ???

↳ username10: for REAL my delusional y/nthur ass is going into OVERDRIVE

arthurnfhill: was a great night, glad i got to catch the show :)

↳ username11: oh you guys are TWISTED dropping comments like this

↳ username12: literally still in love i am not hearing any different.

bambinobecky: can i be ur biggest fan?

↳ yourusername: anyday sexy ;)

username13: the fact she scheduled it just a couple days before his london dates so arthur could make it ..... coincidence ???

liked by arthurtv, yourusername and 6290 others

mummysboypod: Mum, did you miss me on tour?

The NEW episode of Mummy's Boy is now live - with Arthur and Lisa discussing Arthur's life on tour, from crazed fans to drunken nights!

Link in bio!

liked by yourusername, arthurtv and 6380 others

arthurnfhill: i still cannot believe kill hill is over!! i will miss seeing all of you lovely people and playing you my silly songs

arthurtv: what does slay mean and why do women keep shouting it at you?

↳ arthurnfhill: because i ATE arthur

↳ arthurtv: you ate me?

username14: TOUR WAS SO INCREDIBLE!!!

username15: y/n being in the crowd was NOT. a coincidence

username16: is y/nthur back????

username17: you seemed SO much happier towards end of tour

username18: DUBLIN MISSES YOU ALREADY !!!

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurnfhill and 9374 others

yourusername: in musical terms... you could call this an encore?

username19: IMAGINE REANNOUNCING Y/NTHUR IN THE MOST ICONIC WAY POSSIBLE.

georgeclarkeey: i think everyone clocked when you were love heart eyeing him the whole concert

↳ yourusername: well you also did that and no one has realised yet?

↳ georgeclarkeey: it's MY bed he comes back to sweetie

lisahull_hill: you both have the sweetest smiles

↳ yourusername: LISA I MISSED YOU SO MUCH

↳ arthurnfhill: yourusername i believe you said 'more than i missed you by a long shot' ??

#arthurhill x reader #arthur hill #arthurhill #arthur hill x reader #arthur hill imagine #british youtubers

56 notes · View notes

the-offside-rule · 9 hours ago

Text

Lance Stroll (Aston Martin) - Lover

Requested: no

Swift Series

Warnings: none

The wedding was beautiful, of course. Chloe looked radiant, and Lance had this rare, soft look on his face as he watched his sister exchange vows. But Y/n found herself stealing glances at er teammate, maybe it was the champagne. Maybe it was the intimacy of being Lance's plus one, but something about the night felt…different.

The ceremony eventually transitioned into the afterparty, where laughter filled the room, and the music was upbeat. Lance, surprisingly, was great company, better than she expected, even if they’d been teammates for three years. They’d always shared this camaraderie that made even the tough races bearable. Y/n didn’t have to think twice about going along with him to Chloe's wedding.

The night wore on, the laughter became more careless, and the champagne didn’t stop flowing. At one point, the slow melody of Taylor Swift’s Lover drifted from the speakers, and Y/n’s eyes lit up. "Lance!" She gasped, tugging at his sleeve. "This is my song!" He laughed, looking at her with that familiar half-smirk she’d grown used to over their years as teammates. “Alright, come on. Let’s dance." She laughed, not fully registering the fact that her hand had already slipped into his, and he was leading her onto the dance floor. They stumbled slightly, giggling like teenagers, as Lance twirled her clumsily. "I’ve got two left feet." He joked, and she snorted, shaking her head.

But as they settled into a comfortable rhythm, Y/.’s hand rested on his shoulder, and Lance’s arm gently wrapped around her waist. The playfulness faded just a touch, replaced by something… different. "We could let our friend crash in the living room. This is our place, we make the calls." She hummed along, eyes sparkling as she looked at him. Lance’s smirk softened, his gaze more tender than usual, as he wondered why he’d never noticed before how… captivating her smile was.

"And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you. I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want them all." Lance’s heart stumbled, then raced, as he listened to her sing those words. She wasn’t saying it to him, was she? But between the champagne, the glow in her eyes, and the way she was gazing up at him, it felt…real. Lance’s cheeks flushed before he could stop it. He didn’t want her to notice, so he spun her again, hoping she wouldn’t pick up on his sudden nervousness.

But he couldn’t shake it. The words echoed in his mind as the night went on, and he kept stealing glances her way, wondering if maybe he hadn’t been seeing her clearly all this time.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Just over a year later, a different kind of excitement filled the air as they arrived at the Eras Tour. Unfortunately, Y/n moved onto Mervedes while Lance stayed behind at Aston Martin, but nonetheless, they enjoyed eachother's compang whenever possible. Y/n was buzzing, talking a mile a minute, and Lance couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. He’d never been a die-hard Taylor Swift fan, but he was starting to get it; if it made Y/n this happy, it was worth every minute. They sang through the first few songs together, laughing and shouting lyrics. Then, Lover began. Lance’s heart quickened as he glanced over at her. She was already swaying to the music, totally immersed.

She turned to him, her eyes shining, and began singing softly, her voice blending with Taylor’s, each lyric laced with a sincerity that made his breath hitch. This time, she sang the whole song, her eyes flicking to his, then away, in a way that made him feel like the only person in the crowd. When she reached the second verse, his heart caught again as she sang:

"We could let our friend crash in the living room. This is our place, we make the calls." Lance sang back. His voice was softer than hers, barely loud enough for her to hear over the crowd. But she kept singing, her smile widening, oblivious to how intensely he was watching her, the lyrics slipping past her lips effortlessly.

Then, without thinking, he took her hand, gently pulling her closer, and started swaying along with her. His thumb brushed the back of her hand, his gaze never leaving her face. "I'm highly suspicious, that everyone who sees you wants you." Her eyebrows scrunched into a confused expression, a slight smile upon her lips. "Lance." She whispered, a nervous laugh escaping her.

He leaned in, his voice soft, barely audible above the music. "I’ve loved you four summers now, Y/n, but I want them all." Her cheeks flushed, and she blinked up at him, a little breathless. "Lance." She didn’t finish, her words catching in her throat. "Just thought you should know." He said, a bit more confidently now as he squeezed her hand. They shared a lingering look, as if they were both trying to confirm this was real. Her chest heaved deeply as the stadium around them disappeared, and it seemed to only be them. "Since when?"

"If I had to pinpoint when I decided? I'd say at Chloe's wedding." She sighed. "Any particular reason?" She asked. "Possibly when your head was in the toilet bowl the morning after." She gave him a stern expression. "It was actually when we danced to this song. I looked at you differently." They hadn't noticed how close they had gotten, and if a fan had spotted them, they would be in for it when it got to their PR teams. "It felt like you were singing to me, but we were borderline drunk, so I thought I was imagining things."

"And why bring it up now?" Lance looked between her eyes. "Because if I didn't say it now, I was never going to." A smile spread onto her face. "Well, I'm happy you did." She said. "Because I never would have said it if it wasn't put so simplistically into a song."

#f1 imagine #f1 blurb #f1 oneshot #f1 oneshots #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x taylor swift #lance stroll x you #lance stroll x y/n #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll imagine #lance stroll fluff #lance stroll fanfic

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solkwan · 2 days ago

Text

Wonwoo suddenly shares his location with you.

He was in the middle of a park.

He texts something about going on a date. An off handed comment about how he’s having a good time.

He’s in the middle of tour. . . . And he’s on a date?

You think, ’have I not suffered enough? not only did I lose you, now I have i watch you fall for another?’

He tells you about the long walk he just took through the park.

He says, “the trail was longer than expected,”

You reply, “.”

And you turn your read receipts off. Having had them on for him so long ago.

Desperately, you start looking for any evidence he’s on an actual date.

Turns out, it’s a date w his members. A simple text from hoshi confirms it. He answers your sneaky text without any hesitation and he unsuspectingly tells you the park him and his members are at is very nice.

The relief that floods your body is embarrassing, to say the least.

Then you think, ’is Wonwoo trying to make you jealous? Couldn’t possibly be, right? What could he possibly gain from lying to you?’

He keeps telling you about the park.

You text, “wonwoo.” And “stop.”

Suddenly, “why did you like me?”

His true thoughts linger in the air. ‘What was so special about him?’

Unspoken and doubtful.

You ignore it at first. It’s been months. You’re over him. You’ve spent the better half of the past year struggling with your feelings. With your loss. Your best friend, no longer able to call him that. You lost Wonwoo.

And you have this thought and text it.

“doesn’t matter. doesn’t change what happened,”

Wonwoo immediately reads it and that’s that.

But his text racks your brain. You think. And eventually, hours later—you reply.

“You’re kind. It’s what got me first. It was the way you remembered the little things—my lunch orders, important dates, my favorite bands.”

Your kindness went beyond words. I was always grateful to see you. You made my day without knowing it. I was comforted by the mere thought of you. You, who treated others so sweetly. You, who spoke softly, but never hesitated to speak your truth. You were confident, but always humble. You, who I saw in your suffering and you let me in,”

Made my heart constrict in my chest to the point it started hurting,”

Your eyes twinkled, even if you didn’t know it,”

The way you looked at me, I was able to convince myself you felt the same. Those nights we spent under the stars, tracing constellations with our fingers, laying next to each other, your phone playing whatever song you knew I was obsessed with at that time. Your smile permanently etched into my mind. You emitted more warmth than any blanket ever could provide. Your happiness was my own,”

And having you? Being by your side? Even if it was just at the ends of my day?”

God, it was more than I could ever ask for”

I knew you didn’t feel the same way. You were starting to drift from me. But, I knew I couldn’t keep It within myself for any longer. I had to tell you the truth. I had to come clean,”

Wonwoo, I loved you. More than I could ever express with my words. More than you or anyone could ever imagine. I didn’t care that you always saw me as a second priority, that you never put me first,”

I was happy to have you in any way I could. That’s how I knew I would never recover from this unrequited love. Recognizing that, and saying it aloud, nearly killed me. The pain in my chest whenever I saw you started to spread to the rest of my body,”

My mind. It racked for an explanation and it accepted excuse after excuse. It told me lies,”

Wonwoo I loved you and even if that hurt me, especially so, I was so terrified of losing you that I pushed that love deep within me. Hidden. Always lurking,”

But the thing about love is it can never be hidden for very long,”

You pause. He’s reading text after text. Your messages are full of typos and rushed commas. Each bubble changes from delivered to read. You don’t care. You need to say this now or you’re afraid you never will.

“The thought of having you for the rest of my life lingered in me. I wanted to see your glowing. I wanted your light in my life. I wanted every side of you. You were more than a love to me. You were you, and that’s why I loved you,”

And he leaves you with those thoughts and never replies back.

Pain. It’s all you feel. Disappointment. Embarrassment. Hate. You hate him. You hate him for bringing these feelings up after so long. If you had just talked it out then, would things have been different?

You fall asleep dreaming about the stars that night.

I keep having dreams where Wonwoo and I are exes. Wrote this after waking up from another dream. Proofread on the train. Is it possible to hurt from something you never had? I’m not sure. But the ache that lingers in my chest after I wake up? Yeah, I’d believe it.

#wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #seventeen #seventeen x reader #wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo x reader #wonu #wonu x reader #seventeen blurb #seventeen fanfic #seventeen angst #angst #bitter exes #kpop #kpop x reader #svt #svt x reader #svt x you #no y/n

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shit-talk-turner · 1 day ago

Note

Do you think Alex’s relationship issues came from his break up with Alexa?

It’s the common assumption but we’d love to hear if there’s a differing viewpoint//

I've got some time to kill at the moment so I'll chime in. I think like most people our 'relationship issues' can stem from the perception we have of ourselves and what we think we deserve as far as treatment from others.

I think even in the early years of AM just going by Alex's lyrics there is an indication he had feelings of insecurity.. like every other teenager does! Off the top of my head I'm thinking 'Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts' even if you just consider the backstory of the song which is about a girl Alex was dating in High School, she was actually with Matt first if I remember correctly and she eventually leaves Alex for an older guy and they end up getting engaged. Alex expresses in the song he tried to save face and act like it didn't hurt him but his feelings were different within. The girl spoke to the media and said kind words about Alex sharing that she thought he was a gentleman and that she later regretted leaving him for the other guy. Obviously none of us can say with absolute certainty that this could've been a catalyst for his feelings of low self esteem but it perhaps may have contributed to it. There are many lyrics in the songs of the first album and demos that suggest a level of self consciousness when it comes to girls and dare I say bitterness about it too...I'm thinking of 'Still Take You Home'.

The next publicly known relationship was with Johanna and again she also made some comments to the press on the nature of her relationship with Alex (good and bad) her most memorable comments were the ones in regards to her not being happy that Alex couldn't afford to take her out on fancy dates and having to eat at McDonalds. This could further lead to the belief one might have of themselves of 'not being enough'. I think it's something of note that he co wrote 'Fluorescent Adolescent' with her, I've always enjoyed the story of how they wrote it whilst on a holiday together playing word games.

After the relationship with Johanna if I recall correctly Alex shared with NME? that he had not yet experienced heartbreak and that he had it to come. A quote more interesting and insightful than that was the one where he says he always felt that his girlfriends looked happier before/after being with him. If that doesn't scream low self worth/esteem I don't know what does.

Cue the relationship with Alexa. Many people suggest it was this relationship that 'messed' him up and whilst I'd agree that he was seemingly significantly emotionally impacted by this relationship and it appears might've been the 'heartbreak' he anticipated was coming, I would disagree that she is entirely the cause of his 'relationship issues' if we were to call it that. Once again, there are many lyrics that Alex has wrote throughout the duration of his relationship with Alexa that 'appear' to be about her and/or that she may have inspired and in a few of these lyrics you could possibly interpret once again feelings of not being good enough, unrequited feelings about the relationship and feeling isolated/lonely in the relationship - questioning their 'place'. From what I've observed I came to the conclusion that Alex was the one who was more head over heels in love, I totally accept I could be wrong in my thinking of that and also that my further thinking that the destruction of his relationship with Alexa may have also further 'confirmed' the negative thoughts and feelings he already had about himself. The AM era made it clear, Alexa wasn't easy for him to emotionally move on from and it has been long speculated and some 'receipts' provided that there was an on and off hook up situation going on for a bit after the initial break up. Clearly, things did not work out enough between the two for them to reunite for good.

The release of the song ' The Bourne Identity' with TLSP was a raw, heartfelt and rare insight into how Alex perceives himself. Infact, it is a song I feel could've come from my own soul and with that I don't think it would be a stretch to question how someone who feels that way about themselves might struggle to achieve healthy and fulfilling relationships. I think this song reveals that he has self sabotaging thoughts and actions maybe his serial dating could be an example of this. There is a quote I'm gonna end this with from 2013: “Sometimes the fear of losing the people I love, is such a strong feeling that it’s inevitable to find it my lyrics.” I think this MAY also provide insight into his attachment style and how he may relate and express love to the people he cares for in his life.

What do you all think?!

Thank you for this thoughtful post!

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emmanuellececchi · 18 hours ago

Text

Thanks for the tag @errruvande. Let's do this.

Fanfic writer interview

How many work do u have on AO3?

What's your total AO3 word count?

71 000+

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes

Two of a kind (Sif x Loki)

Between a song and a book (Joshua Rosfield x reader)

A snowball fight (Joshua Rosfield x reader)

it has to be elves (Sif x Loki - gift exchange)

A momentous wedding

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to answer to comments. One: it feels good to see someone not only take time to read my story but also took the time to comment. Two: I love interacting with people and that could lead to fantastic exchange.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

At the moment I'll say "The end of Gimli son of Gloin" but... it is a "normal" end for him so.... I am not sure. On the other hand, "Two of a kind" has a kinda open ending.... I wanted to write more but lost the muse. There is also another fic with a real angsty end but it is yet in the editing process. But I largely prefer happy ending.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I would say "Two of a kind" because it begins rather dark? So it'll be in contrast to the rest of the story.

Do you write crossovers?

Not at the moment. Never really cross my mind.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Ah. yes. Because I said it was a "finished" work (it was) but I didn't posted the whole story at once. I was new and I tried to explain as kindly as possible. But the reader just kept insulting me, even after I changed the status, saying they would contact AO3 because I was a lier and so on... It was unsettling to say the least.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

At the moment, there's no "smut" per say but "It has to be elves" is rated Mature. Because Sif and Loki can have it hot (hihihi).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Same answer, not that I know of.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have a few co-ideas, and I would really like to try. So no. BUT most of my fanfics have been edited/corrected by others so there's always a bit of another author in there. so yes.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I will say, because it is the purest for me and one I hold dear : Gimli x Galadriel.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I have a ton of WIP that are hoping I'll finish them. And I am not going to list them here, because there's just too many.

What are your writing strengths?

No ideas. I guess.... My characters emotions? The little details in a scene? difficult to say.

What are your writing weaknesses?

My lack of vocabulary. Either I write too much in block or it's telegraphic. I use far too many times the same words.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's fun, as long as you let the reader a way to understand what is going on.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Maybe FFXIV. I really love the characters in this game. Or Dragon Age.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Written and published : "Two of Kind" because it was my first long, multi-chapters fic that I published, and because I thought about putting Loki behind a wall of energy before the Dark World. I was so smug.

tagging without any pressure : @konartiste @from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras @sotwk @dilettantefeminist and @ass-deep-in-demons and whoever would like to share with us their AO3!

Fanfic writer interview

Thank you @thelettersfromnoone for the tag!! 💖

How many work do u have on AO3?

3, not your local AO3 girlie lmao

What's your total AO3 word count?

8 534

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes

I'll go with Tumblr ones, cause from my 3 AO3 works the biggest number I got is 31 lmao

Anyone but you (Legolas x f!reader)

Night watch (Legolas x Reader)

Well-deserved rest (Haldir x f!Reader)

One messy night (Boromir x f!Reader)

Transition (Haldir x f!Reader)

Honorable mention (since it's not fics but headcanons)

Green Council receiving a hot pic from you (HotD)

TLK men's reaction on being pet named

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to comments! These little things are brightening up my day, so I wanna let the people know that they are my heroes hahaha

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I really think it's Transition. All in all it's a pretty dark story, a bit depressing I think (I had these intentions while writing at least).

Otherwise, I don't think I have angsty endings fics?

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

New family members for sure!! Was thinking hard what to choose, cause I think all of my happy ending fics are on the pretty same level on a happy scale, but I remember that I have this gen, non romantic baby and I love it so much ❤️‍🩹 There's a little TLK OMC for y'all

Do you write crossovers?

I wanted to say I've never done this BUT THEN!!! My Assassin's Creed (Ezio) x LOTR little headcanon!!! My beloved child!!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, not that I remember getting any hate on my fics

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, tho not much and on rare occasions. I used to write a lot of smut when I was younger (a teen), then I stopped being comfortable with it for a wild few years (tho reading never made me uncomfortable lmao).

Now I started writing smut again, idk what kind? Don't really understand what does that mean lol F x M traditional sex? Pretty detailed? If so, then yes lmao

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't know 😂 Maybe, maybe not. I think rather not.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge, I don't think so.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

We tried with my friend a long long time ago. Didn't go well lmao It's hard and kinda stressing, cause you never know what the other person is gonna write (at least we had this SURPRISE system), so... You kinda have zero plot cause everything you want to write plot-wise can be ruined by the second person's plot lmao

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Athelnar?? Athelstan and Ragnar were my first ever OTP (quickly followed by Alfred and Uhtred). You could never beat that Athelnar shit out of my body lmao I've never written for them, but oh I do love them boys!

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Now, that's the HARSH one lmao

I think I have at least 3 OC stories that I really wanna write (2 for TLK and one for LOTR), but I'm scared that I will never actually do it. I never was good with multi chaptered stories, and these are indeed not a one shots 🥲

What are your writing strengths?

Ugh... I don't know? I think I was pretty good with dialogues and descriptions of the surroundings to build the atmosphere. But... I guess it's not for me to decide but for the readers?

What are your writing weaknesses?

I rarely finish what I've started lmao I should write everything in one go or else I'll never finish it... Or will finish it in two months even if it's a 2k words one shot

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love them! I've only done it with my LOTR fics (with Sindarin) but I really love it. But I really love it when the language is different from the language of the settings? Like, if the story is happening in England and everyone is English, but you have two characters who can speak idk Dutch, let them have a Dutch language in their dialogue. I had a rant post about it not that long ago actually lmao You have to think about your in-universe language

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Ahhh Bungou Stray Dogs! I love them, and I'd gladly try to write something for them. Not a character/character but reader my beloved.

And maybe Stephane Narcisse (reign) my beloved and a reader

What's your favorite fic you've written?

The blood on my hands (Eomer) and Peace (Finan) are definitely my fave ones I think. They are dark and both explore some trauma

No pressure tags: @whitedarkmoonflower @lord-aldhelm @holy3cake @gemini-mama @emilyhufflepufftlk @persephones-journey @solinarimoon @mrsalwayswrite @emmanuellececchi @bilbotargaryen @levithestripper @mrsarnasdelicious @paula-in-dreamland

#tag games #fanfic writer interview

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